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Clappy
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Posts posted by Clappy
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And here I thought my post and Nugs post in previous years about why Truth or Square is fucking terrible were golden, but Jesus. Slug’s post just nailed it on a whole other level. Fucking great. There is not a damn thing that’s redeemable about this “10 year anniversary” special. Even the things I like about it like “the different animation styles”...they served no purpose whatsoever in this special. They could have been added on to anything. It’s that insignificant to the story.
If you love this special, great. Not everyone has the same opinion. But this is the worst special to me because nothing of value was gained from it for me. At least all the other specials told a story, even if they were weak ones and didn’t exactly have strong focus towards them. Truth or Square didn’t have anything worthy of being told for over a hour.
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Coming to theaters in March 2020, it will be Pixar’s first non-sequel in two and a half years. Set in a suburban fantasy world, the story is about two teenage brothers (Tom Holland and Chris Pratt) who embark on a quest to see if there is still magic out there.
My thoughts: Dammit Quill! For the last time, stop imitating Thor!
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14 minutes ago, WhoBob said:
Honestly my issue with Bikini Bottomies is that they don't get punishment the way Squidward did. Laughing at diary read you listen is just as bad as reading the actual diary and yet they treat Squidward like some kind of monster that his house has to be taken away and he has to be in handcuffs. Squidward was a jerk but he didn't deserve that kind of treatment and If this was Bikini Bottomies' logic, they should get the same thing.
You basically just reinstated my point. The Bikini Bottomites are walking moral contradictions in the latter seasons. They constantly do whatever the opposite of the mood calls them to be just because they want the antagonist of the episode (this time Squidward) to feel like what he did was morally wrong, despite them being just as guilty. It’s frustrating yes, but they constantly end up on the side of illogical reasoning. That’s why it doesn’t bother me as much because why would I expect any less from them?
Oh and Boating Buddies is still one of the best episode of Season 6 despite me knowing it’s awful. I know all of the problems with the episode and yes I acknowledge that Squidward doesn’t deserve the suffering he goes through and SpongeBob is in prime creepy stalker territory here, but a lot of the jokes just work for me. There are a good portion of them that are pre-movie quality to me like Squidward and Mrs. Puff comparing SpongeBob to being the bane of their existence. I guess this is more of an example as to how bad Season 6 is that Boating Buddies is one of my favorites from this season, but I don’t care. I like it.
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So I don’t mind Fungus Among Us dropping as far as it has. Still my least favorite episode of all time and I’ve talked about that far too much if you want to know why so go back to multiple of these threads if you want to know why.
But I don’t think I’ll ever get the deep hatred for Little Yellow Book. Yeah I’ve read all of the posts about it for the years it has shown up on these lists. To me, Little Yellow Book is just wasted potential more than anything else. I remember all the ads were talking about SpongeBob’s deepest secrets to be revealed, to only be utter nonsense that I don’t even remember except for the SpongeBob chicken meme that I see far too often. Squidward gets punished accordingly throughout the episode for being a jerk, one of the few times where what he gets is absolutely warranted. And I see a lot of you complaining about the townspeople not getting punished for pulling a 180 about the diary...but when aren’t the townspeople walking moral contradictions in the latter years of this show? Oh and Patrick is also an ass, but I’ve grown numb to his behavior at this point.
I don’t think it’s a bad episode persay. I do think it’s stupid and one of the biggest examples of dropping the ball on a great premise. But Top 20 worst of all time? Sorry fam, I just don’t see it.
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...this is 61% Fresh in Rotten Tomatoes.
For those of you who didn’t know, I went to go see this today with my fiancé, her mother, and niece and nephew. I went along for the ride too since it was my last day of vacation from work. I had zero interest in seeing this although like you see above, Will Smith’s Genie has had me morbidly curious. And I’ve done my fair share of defending of the Disney live action remakes because most of them at least offer something new to the table. There have been their few shares of duds, but at least they weren’t completely awful.
...I’m done. I’m done defending this trend. This was the straw that broke the CGI camel’s back. This movie was fucking terrible. Where do I even begin? How about this movie was so fucking fake. With all of the other Disney live action movies, at least they incorporated the CGI well enough. Whether it be making Wunderland visually stunning or making Dumbo fly or hell, I had my problems with how laughable the Beast looked in B&B...but at least they integrated the live action stuff smoothly around the CGI. Here? Everything looked so wooden and stilted that I sat there thinking to myself that this whole movie looked unbelievably fake. And I literally played a game of guess what was CGI and what wasn’t. I was that bored. Before the movie I kept telling myself and I told some of you that Guy Ritchie has his own style of direction. Yeah he definitely got turned down heavily here. He felt like just another director. A sufficient spectacle my ass, Rotten Tomatoes.
How about Will Smith as Genie? Honestly, he was the best part. I’m not joking. At least Will Smith is a good actor. He has charisma. And every time he shows up on screen, the movie comes alive. Literally and metaphorically. He may not be Robin Williams levels of making the role his own, but in terms of being the only good part of the movie, he definitely succeeded. Everybody else? Awful. Most disappointing being Naomi Scott as Jasmine. She just seemed playing a little by the numbers. Everybody else didn’t even try. Especially Aladdin and Jafar who were atrocious. The guy they got to play Aladdin was trying to replicate Scott Weinger’s voice work and it was super cringey. And Jafar...words cannot describe how horrible he was. The best way I can try to describe it is a staged performance from a volunteer actor from a PTA school funded adaptation. And that same description can be applied to the acting as a whole.
Bottom line, save yourself your hard earned money. This movie was never going to surpass the original, yet somehow it failed in just ways I wasn’t even possibly ready for. Like what was even the fucking point of remaking this? Money obviously, but if you were going to go that by the numbers, then what was the fucking point? And if your actors were going to phone it in that hard, then why bother? Like I don’t actively think about things I’d rather be doing than watching a movie while I’m at the movies, but I’d rather be doing anything else. I could be reading a book. I could be watering my plants. I could be vacuuming my apartment. I could be doing laundry.
61%. Fresh. That score should be so much lower than that. Like single percentage points. Fuck this movie. One of the worst of the year. The Disney live action remake trend can end any time now. All it takes sometimes is one awful movie and this was it for me.
Also in the credits is Zayn’s cover of A Whole New World and that was a subtle way of telling me to go burn in Hell.
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Highly recommend their Netflix special. Especially since I understood the references behind the story of The Bash Brothers. Here’s another song from it:
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Glad to see my recent viewing experience was added in last minute as commentary. Will make sure The Nitwitting goes higher up this list next time we do this.
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This is the dumbest episode of SpongeBob I’ve ever sat through.
No joke. I’ve practically outgrown the show since I don’t watch new episodes anymore nor do I really want to. But I’ve seen plenty of talk on Discord about this episode in particular. Not like Ink Lemonade levels of hatred or anything, but pretty freaking bad word of mouth.
Then Jjs mentioned about a hour ago that he wished that I saw it so he can know how I feel. Well how thoughtful. I’m on vacation this past week so why not give it a shot. I tried a few other episodes as of late due to word of mouth and some of them were pretty good actually.
This was not. The one thing I will give modern SpongeBob. The animation does look good. What they do with said animation leaves a lot to be desired, but that’s another thing entirely.
But yeah, back to that first sentence. I’ve watched plenty of dumb and stupid episodes of SpongeBob back in 2013 and 2015 for the Worst Episode countdowns of said years. Hell I remember watching Whirly Brains on a wim not too long after and thinking that these guys are seriously running out of ideas for this show. Think about that for a second. An episode where SpongeBob and Patrick take out their brains to play them like drones is not nearly as stupid as this episode.
But you know what really pissed me off about this episode in particular? What makes me think this is one of the worst episodes of the entire series more so than other infamous semi-recent episode Ink Lemonade? The smug levels of self-awareness about how stupid this episode is:
-The irritatingly annoying club song
-Having SpongeBob drink everybody’s drool (the joke that followed about them actually meaning drink the lemonade was even worse...THERE WAS NO BUILD TO THERE BEING A SECOND OPTION)
-The knowingly self destructive behavior of the nitwitting. They know that this event was going to take place like clockwork and they happily ablige to destroy the entire town.
-Literally how SpongeBob was as a character. You can’t suddenly make him brainless for the back half of the episode without him acting semi-normal a minute after removing his brain. It’s like the plot just wants to show up whenever the hell it wants to. Oh and that out of nowhere drama of jealousy with Patrick’s friendship with the club leader. Get out of here with that forced subplot.
-Time to bring up the animation because it may be nice, but what these guys choose to do with the animation just pisses me off. The intentional amounts of gross out they go for here bothers me way more than it did with Ink Lemonade. At least Ink Lemonade provided some things I’ve never seen from SpongeBob before. I’ve lost count how many times I’ve seen them make intentionally stupid characters on this show with none of them standing out. And they might as well have ripped off Face Freeze with how many weird faces nitwit SpongeBob goes for in this episode.
-The out of nowhere political commentary with Sandy being a part of FEMA. WHAT!? And then having Patrick and his club come back and destroy everything FEMA rebuilt...are they implying The Nitwitting is a natural disaster that costs the town tons of money? Are they aiming at our president and calling him a nitwit (they aren’t wrong)? Why the fuck was that tacked on and why did it end with the nitwits winning!? Why is an episode titled The Nitwitting actually making me this far in depth about possible political commentary?
I hate it. I hate how smugly stupid this episode is. I hate how they play off Patrick’s destructive stupidity for laughs. I hate how the plot is practically nonexistent. And most of all, I hate that idiotic jukebox number that played throughout the episode. That only tacks onto the arrogance that what the characters are doing is dumb but they will do it anyway behavior I get from this episode.
I know it’s too late to change my Worst List for the 2019 edition, but this is Top 10...hell Top 5 at this rate. I actively felt myself getting dumber by watching this inane awfulness.
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Got to say I’m proud to see how much activity the Worst List has gotten year over year. Feels like just yesterday when I had 23 members participating the last time I hosted in 2015. And now we have 41 members participating and I can definitely tell with how many episodes are dropping that were higher on these countdowns from previous years. Varieties of opinions can always be a good thing. Excited to see where more of these episodes end up. Hell I’m even more excited to see what happens to Fungus Among Us this year.
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2 Legit 2 Quit - If this song wasn’t an ungodly long six minutes, it would be a tad higher. Kind of entertains me a bit, but definitely proof that Hammer was such a fluke.
I Can't Dance - Not the worst Genesis song of this year, but definitely a sign that they weren’t trying as hard anymore.
To Be with You - How precious.
One - For as much as I like U2, I’ve always thought this song was incredibly overrated. I’ve heard so many people call it one of their most powerful, but all I hear is Bono slightly up his own ass.
All I Want - For how all they want is to feel this way, they sure succeed at sounding bored.
Good for Me - Amy Grant is such a bad artist. But god, this is unintentionally the funniest song of the year. I didn’t know I needed an Amy Grant “fun jam” in my life, but I’m glad I came across this.
Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover - Another year, another awful song from Sophie B. Hawkins. I don’t know much about her discography besides what I’ve covered from her in the years where she has a song show up, but every single one is bad.
Set Adrift on a Memory Bliss - I guess they make that sample work. Granted I don’t like the song “True” to begin with and the song relies heavily on that sample to begin with. Not the best song, not the worst. Smack dab in the meh pile sounds about right.
Life is a Highway - I actually sort of feel bad. The song itself is not bad, but not once have I come across a version of this song that isn’t, at most, mediocre.
In the Closet - Now this is a prime example of a Michael Jackson song that I’ve never liked; that only got worse because of the accusations. Apparently this song was about rumors about him in general, and knowing what we know (especially now), I’m second guessing if this should have made the list proper.
Let's Get Rocked - The 90s were not good to Def Leppard.
They Want EFX - The lyrics. So many bad lyrics. Who told these guys that these lines were even remotely good? I could probably do a Top 10 list with my least favorite being:
Diggedy-dun dun dun dun dun, DUN DUN!
Who wanted Das EXF again?
I'm Too Sexy - A comedic masterpiece.
Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough - Fun fact. When listening to this list on Apple Music, I only found the original from Patty Smyth and not the duet that charted. I had to seek out the duet on YouTube...and yeah it’s so much better as a duet. Hearing the other side of this failed relationship just makes the song sound whole. Also I’m a sucker for Don Henley.
And as for that overlord request Steel, I honestly didn’t see it. Usually when I login after being away for days or sometimes weeks, I don’t check a huge portion of my notifications. And I must have missed that request amongst that. So I apologize. I already have my next year planned out, but I fully plan to make this up to you in some fashion. Even if it’s in abbreviated fashion of some list because 1957 sounds like a super tough year to write about haha. Either way, I will follow through with this.
And speaking of that next year. Next time I do one of these year end lists, I’m going back to the 2000s because I have a few gaps in these retrospectives that are driving me nuts. I’m feeling slightly OCD knowing I’ve covered 2006, 2008, and 2010...but not 2007 nor 2009. I want to do one of those years next and after talking it out on Discord the other night, it’s time for me to go back to my high school years.
2007
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Who's ready for this best list!?
I got to say. This was the toughest best list I've ever done. For many reasons. One. This is the best best list I've ever had to compose. I had to make so many painful cuts. The quality just delivered that greatly. Two. I had a lot going on at work. Especially this past month. So I made it my goal this weekend since I was off and had practically nothing to do, to finish this best list. And with a few hours remaining, it is completed.
And I also got to say, this was such a fun retrospective to write, I'm aiming to do another one of these real soon. So don't be surprised if I get another round done this summer. Enough rambling, on with this great best list. Don't let the sun go down on this thread now. We're counting down!
CLAPPY'S TOP TEN BEST HIT SONGS OF 1992
SpoilerWhat? This topped the year end list? I mean Boyz II Men owned the 90s, but biggest song of ’92? No. How could Billboard get this so wrong? Because while this song isn’t even all that bad to me, the song immediately underneath this on the charts defined a generation. You all know what I’m talking about. Let’s call 1-900-MIX-A-LOT and kick them nasty thoughts…
10. “Baby Got Back” – Sir Mix-A-Lot
Baby Got Back is so deeply ingrained into pop culture that I can’t ever hear someone talk about big butts without thinking immediately after “…and I cannot lie. All you other brothers can’t deny.” What can I say? It’s the booty jam that all other booty jams have to measure up to and can’t surpass.
But what makes this become more than just a booty anthem is the political statements about how we as a society shun those who have big butts. Mix-a-Lot is striking back against society’s definition of how we view beauty. He is not down with Cosmo’s definition of curvy women. He doesn’t like how big butts get treated differently than skinnier flat butts. Of all the songs to make a statement, this is the one that still surprises me the most.
It’s an impressively stupid song. It helped influence a lot of the rappers I grew up with in the 2000s into today. It appeared in a lot of children’s films of all things. Who would have thought that this controversial piece of stupidity ended up becoming one of the most influential hip-hop songs of all time. Who cares, I love it for what it is. A hilariously provocative, yet insanely catchy anthem.
SpoilerSo I’ve spent plenty of years telling you guys about these god awful retail playlists.
https://www.racked.com/2018/4/25/17271928/retail-music-staffers
And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, consider yourself lucky. But just you wait because I guarantee at least one point in your life, you will have a retail job and be stuck listening to the same songs every day. It’s torture. Especially since I’ve had two jobs now with completely polar retail playlists. My current job plays current pop hits and the big ones of the last five years that are work safe. And then there is my first job that had the same set list of 80s/90s/early 2000s A/C friendly music.
Look I’ve said some pretty bad stuff about the latter. Even as recently as my last post in here. But every now and then, a few songs would show up and save me from hating the soundtrack to hell. For example:
9. “I Love Your Smile” – Shanice
Allow me to just say this in the simplest of terms. Every time this song came on and I would hear that production and that whistling in the chorus, it would just put me in a good mood. It’s just a cute song about a girl who is just happy to be with her man. It’s Sesame Street levels of cute so no wonder retail playlists play the hell out of this…and wait what is this? There was a rap verse in the original version? I…I spent years not knowing that this existed. And now I’m mad that this got edited out. Fuck off Martin’s
…sorry guys, still have years of vent up grocery store frustration. But yeah this song is just infectious with how cute and simple it is. Sometimes it doesn’t take much for me to love a song and that chorus (as well as that sax solo) is all it takes to get me super happy. Seriously that’s all it takes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6fThXQPT6I
AND FUCK OFF CHRIS BROWN FOR RUINING YOUR EXCELLENT CHOICE OF SAMPLING.
SpoilerI’ve spent a damn good portion of this year end retrospective talking about how grunge changed the cultural zeitgeist of the 1990s, but that wasn’t the only genre that had a huge impact on this decade.
Yeah 1992 saw a huge upswing in hip-hop becoming more of a power genre in the music industry. We are a few years away from when it really became more apparent with the Snoop Doggs, the Dr. Dre’s, etc. really started to become household names. Middle class America was not ready for “gangster rap” just yet, so there had to be a transition period. And in 1992, we got that transition with two kids who became the mac daddies of the music industry.
8. “Jump” – Kris Kross
Another bad little fad these two kids are not. I openly admit that when it comes to child/teen performers, I usually have the same general thought. This twerp is not ready for the big leagues just yet. Kris Kross is one of those rare instances where I’m fully invested from the start. They just ooze charisma and have genuine presence behind their bars. Also, wearing your clothes backwards? Dope.
But what also really makes this song work is the production. It’s amazing. Credit to where its due to an at the time no name, Jermaine Dupri. Genuinely did not know that heading into this, but clearly his sampling of “I Want You Back”, “O.P.P”, and a bunch of other songs gave him over twenty-five years and counting of being a major name in the music industry.
But yeah I give credit to this huge song to help make rap music marketable at a time where it wasn’t quite there yet. So in terms of its importance to making rap music commercially successful, this song isn’t wiggidy wiggidy whack.
SpoilerAnd in today’s episode of how did we get from there to here, we have this late 80s staple of goth rock:
Becoming a sunshiny happy pop rock band. Yeah I don’t get it either.
7. “Friday I’m in Love” – The Cure
I consider myself pretty knowledgeable about a lot of pop culture and music history, but I’m not going to Google search “The Cure” just so I can get some information on them. Honestly, I know next to nothing about The Cure’s goth rock roots except they did the theme for goth cult movie hit, “The Crow”. And even then, “The Crow” came out two years after this, so that’s them going back to their roots. Which goes to show how little I even knew of their past stuff.
But this is another staple of my retail radio roots that just makes me so damn happy every time I hear it. It’s so simple and it just knows how to put people in a good mood. Which begs the question, does that make The Cure a sellout band? Honestly, I don’t care. They were able to manipulate an easy lyrical structure into a simplistic melody into THIS. If anything, more “sellouts” should be able to manipulate their sounds into good music. Is that so hard to ask?
Look, it’s plain and simple. If you try instead of taking the cash and shitting out another disposable track, you’ll be The Cure. Otherwise, you’re just another Maroon 5. Next.
SpoilerYou can’t talk about the year 1992 without mentioning the song that not just defined this year, but this entire decade.
6. “Smells Like Teen Spirit” – Nirvana
This song set the stage for the 1990s as a whole. It gives this decade an identity it badly needed because otherwise, the 1990s would have been a plethora of other different tones. This song is an anthem of pissed off self-righteousness. How influential this song is seriously goes without explanation.
All that being said, it’s not even in my Top 5 Nirvana songs. What’s in that Top 5 you might ask?
1. “Come As You Are”
2. “Heart-Shaped Box”
3. “All Apologies”
4. “In Bloom”
5. “The Man Who Sold the World”
“Smells Like Teen Spirit” is ironically number six. I wish the verses were as memorable as this iconic chorus. That’s the only thing holding me back from placing this song even higher on this list. It really is devastating that Kurt Cobain was taken from us so soon because to me, Nirvana is one of the most influential rock groups of all-time. And while “Smells Like Teen Spirit” isn’t my favorite song of their discography, I’m not denying the impact it made on the music industry. It’s well deserved of its importance and significance to alternative rock music.
SpoilerI know I’m going to come off as a hypocrite for all the easy listening music I placed on my worst list and what I said about over the years and years of writing these lists. But sometimes, a song just hits. And when it hits, it hits hard. And who is responsible for such a feat in this glorious year?
THE GOAT
5. “Can’t Let Go” – Mariah Carey
I’m sorry, do I need to actually analyze this? Just listen to the song. It’s gorgeous. It’s beautiful. It’s absolutely devastating.
I’m a sucker for these sorts of songs that convey such powerful emotional depth. And Mariah Carey performs it masterfully. This is just an atom bomb of a song that makes you feel pain and sorrow. You can go back through this thread and read so many emotional stories that songs can make me relate and connect to. Hell if you want to be even lazier, just scroll up a few posts to my Spring 2019 rankings and read my number one. I have had a hard time letting go of relationships that I'm still deeply invested in. I can relate to this song so hard it's not even funny.
And when Mariah's voice hits those high notes at the end. God damn. I'm spent. And this was back when Mariah's career was just starting. I think you all know how it only gets greater from there. Mariah Carey. Better than everybody.
Spoiler1992. Hair metal was on its last legs as grunge rock was starting to come into the forefront of the public identity of rock and roll. But at least hair metal had one last truly iconic song for the public to remember it by.
4. “November Rain” – Guns N’ Roses
Where do I even begin with this masterpiece? First of all, it’s my favorite Guns N’ Roses song. Ignore anything I ever said about “Welcome to the Jungle” five years ago with that supremely rushed Best of 1989 list. It’s great, but it’s not a work of art like this is. This was a song that was nearly ten years in the making when this band first formed. Axl Rose took his time to craft this piece and wait for the perfect opportune moment to drop this nine minute long ballad. He waited until the band was at the peak of its popularity where he can release a song that defines the band’s legacy.
And define its legacy this song did. While I still don’t fully appreciate the accompanying music video (It’s great up until she dies…did the rain kill her? Thank god those Slash solos fucking slay.), the general public sure did. It is the oldest music video to reach over one billion views on YouTube. I’m not kidding, look that statistic up. If that isn’t a sign as to how well this song has lasted the test of time, then consider this a sign as to how well this song defines Guns N’ Roses legacy. Because surely Chinese Democracy didn’t do that.
Let’s pretend that clusterfuck never happened.
SpoilerThank you Wumbo for making this happen.
3. “Jump Around” – House of Pain
Honestly, just watch the OHW request episode from SBC's favorite music nerd because one of the best internet critics out there can do this song more justice than I ever could.
It’s one of my favorite songs from this decade. It’s so a part of my life that it’s going to be one of my multiple bride/groom dance songs at my wedding. If that isn’t a sign as to how much this song means to me and it isn’t even my number one choice from this year, then 1992 is a glorious year for this year end list.
Spoiler…okay come on now. Who let this song chart again? This isn’t even fair.
2. “Bohemian Rhapsody” – Queen
To be fair, I understand why this song charted again. Freddie Mercury passed away in 1992 and the rest is history that you can now catch in the self-titled movie based off the song that’s about the inaccurate history behind the band Queen and the formation of this iconic song that makes me like the song a tad bit less knowing that there is a mediocre movie about it no matter how great Rami Malek was as Freddie Mercury….
…okay enough about that movie that somehow won so many awards this year. It doesn’t take away from the fact that Queen is still one of my favorite bands of all time and this song is widely declared the best of theirs by the popular consensus. It’s not my favorite song of theirs, but it is absolutely one of their best. It’s just one of the most inexplicable songs to ever exist, but it’s the commitment and dedication by the band that makes it so poetic. Nobody could ever replicate these levels of weird and amazing unless they were fully sure of how awesome they truly are. And that’s why Queen will go down as one of the most popular acts of all time. I know I’ll make sure my children know how iconic this band is…and make sure they never see that movie
So yeah, it’s a tad unfair that I’m placing a then seventeen year old song on a 1992 year end list. So how about a few honorable mentions that I don’t really do on these retrospective year end lists anymore?
SpoilerHONORABLE MENTIONS:
“Diamonds and Pearls” – Prince and The New Power Generation
Prince is great. Do I need to say anymore? It’s a straightforward love song. I do wish it had more of Prince’s flair that you’ve come to expect from his music, but even then, Prince doing a straightforward love song is better than 90% of the rest of the artists that made love songs this year. That’s just how much better he is.
“Make It Happen” – Mariah Carey
The other great Mariah song from this year. When she tells you that you’re going to make it happen, then make it happen dammit.
“Rhythm is a Dancer!” – Snap!
I said some bad things about Eurodance in my 1996 retrospective, but please let it be known that I am not a hater of this trend. I’ve jammed out to this far more times than I can count. And it’s pretty influential to one of my worst songs of 2014...thanks Jeremih
“Finally” – CeCe Peniston
But if you want to talk about a song that influences the future of dance music in the 90s, look no further. This song just has so much personality and that groove is fucking great. It’s so good that it’s been added to my workout playlists without any shame.
“Mysterious Ways” – U2
IT’S ALRIGHT! IT’S ALRIGHT! IT’S ALRIGHT! IT’S ALRIGHT!
…now that I got that obvious joke out of the way, it’s pretty great!
“I Can’t Make You Love Me” – Bonnie Raitt
This is one of my father’s favorite songs. And it just absolutely breaks my heart every time I hear it.
“Black or White” – Michael Jackson
The last great song in Michael Jackson’s discography. I don’t know if recent revelations held me back from placing this on the list proper or not because I wouldn’t be surprised if these claims against Michael Jackson were true. Even before his passing, I thought the man was guilty no matter what the courts said. His bizarre behavior the last fifteen-twenty years of his life was proof enough that he was hiding something.
But even if that documentary didn’t come out bringing this story back into the forefront of the general public, that rap breakdown in the middle was always a little clumsy to me…and then watching Michael Jackson with all those kids, most recognizably Macaulay Culkin, has ALWAYS made me feel uncomfortable because of these decade long accusations.
SpoilerSo yeah. All of those songs were robbed of a best list spot because of one of the greatest songs of all time. But even then, one of the best songs ever could not top my year end list. Honestly, I hate to call my best song of this year a predictable choice if you all know me. But when it’s one of, if not, the best hit of their discography, it’s kind of hard for me to not keep another one of my favorite bands from the top spot.
1. “Under the Bridge” – Red Hot Chili Peppers
This song is such an emotional gut punch that before writing this, I spent literally two weeks just sitting here looking at this screen trying to convey how significant this song is to me.
For those of you who don’t know the backstory behind this song, it’s a very personal story from lead singer Anthony Kieidis. Kiedis suffered badly from drug addiction to the point that it drove him away from everything in his life, including the love of his life. And this song unfittingly is placed on the Red Hot Chili Peppers raunchy sex album. My personal belief was for it to humanize the rest of the album and honestly, it works in that context.
What bridge was this life epitome about how his cocaine addiction was destroying him? To this day we still don’t know where in downtown Los Angeles. But you can still feel Kiedis singing about how he doesn’t want to feel like he once did wandering around the city doing whatever it takes to numb the pain from addiction. It’s so beautifully haunting and that’s not even before the gospel choir hits at the very end.
Once that last minute hits and you hear the choir then the guitar rift at the end, it just puts this song into such a high pantheon of greatness that I have to sit back and just let it all sink in once more.
Thank you all for reading as always. Full rankings are here:
Spoiler1. “Under the Bridge” – Red Hot Chili Peppers
2. “Bohemian Rhapsody” – Queen
3. “Jump Around” – House of Pain
4. “November Rain” – Guns N’ Roses
5. “Can’t Let Go” – Mariah Carey
6. “Smells Like Teen Spirit” – Nirvana
7. “Friday I’m In Love” – The Cure
8. “Jump” – Kris Kross
9. “I Love Your Smile” - Shanice
10. “Baby Got Back” – Sir Mix-A-Lot
11. “Make it Happen” – Mariah Carey
12. “Diamonds and Pearls” – Prince and The New Power Generation
13. “I Can’t Make You Love Me” – Bonnie Raitt
14. “Black or White” – Michael Jackson
15. “Rhythm is a Dancer” – Snap!
16. “Mysterious Ways” – U2
17. “Finally” – CeCe Peniston
18. “Ain’t 2 Proud 2 Beg” – TLC
19. “Real Love” – Mary J. Blige
20. “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me” – George Michael & Elton John
21. “I’m Too Sexy” – Right Said Fred
22. “To Be With You” – Mr. Big
23. “The Way I Feel About You” – Karyn White
24. “Good For Me” – Amy Grant
25. “Tennessee” – Arrested Development
26. “Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough” – Patty Smyth & Don Henley
27. “Baby-Baby-Baby” – TLC
28. “Back to the Hotel” – N2Deep
29. “The Best Things In Life Are Free” – Luther Vandross & Janet Jackson
30. “Humpin’ Around” – Bobby Brown
31. “Tears in Heaven” – Eric Clapton
32. “Keep on Walkin’” – CeCe Peniston
33. “What About Your Friends” – TLC
34. “The One” – Elton John
35. “Warm It Up” – Kris Kross
36. “No Son of Mine” – Genesis
37. “Too Funky” – George Michael
38. “Blowing Kisses in the Wind” – Paula Abdul
39. “End of the Road” – Boyz II Men
40. “Everything Changes” – Kathy Troccoli
41. “Live and Learn” – Joe Public
42. “I’ll Be There” – Mariah Carey
43. “Breakin’ My Heart (Pretty Brown Eyes)” – Mint Condition
44. “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday” – Boyz II Men
45. “2 Legit 2 Quit” – MC Hammer
46. “We Got a Love Thang” – CeCe Peniston
47. “Tell Me What You Want to Do” – Tevin Campbell
48. “People Everyday” – Arrested Development
49. “Set Adrift on Memory Bliss” – P.M. Dawn
50. “Life is a Highway” – Tom Cochrane
51. “Move This” – Technotronic & Ya Kid K
52. “Take This Heart” – Richard Marx
53. “My Lovin’ (You’re Never Gonna Get It)” – En Vogue
54. “All I Want” – Toad the Wet Sprocket
55. “Slow Motion” – Color Me Badd
56. “Keep It Comin’” – Keith Sweat
57. “Come and Talk to Me” - Jodeci
58. “One” – U2
59. “Remember the Time” – Michael Jackson
60. “Would I Lie to You?” – Charles & Eddie
61. “I Can’t Dance” – Genesis
62. “Wishing on a Star” – The Cover Girls
63. “Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad” – Def Leppard
64. “I Wanna Love You” – Jade
65. “Giving Him Something He Can Feel” – En Vogue
66. “If You Asked Me To” – Celine Dion
67. “Save the Best For Last” – Vanessa Williams
68. “Thought I’d Died and Gone to Heaven” – Bryan Adams
69. “They Want EFX” – Das EXF
70. “Hold On My Heart” – Genesis
71. “Achy Breaky Heart” – Billy Ray Cyrus
72. “Just Take My Heart” – Mr. Big
73. “She’s Playing Hard to Get” – Hi-Five
74. “That’s What Love is For” – Amy Grant
75. “Masterpiece” – Atlantic Starr
76. “Just Another Day” – Jon Secada
77. “Justified and Ancient” – The KLF
78. “When I Look Into Your Eyes” - FireHouse
79. “I’d Die Without You” – P.M. Dawn
80. “Keep Coming Back” – Richard Marx
81. “Hazard” – Richard Marx
82. “I Will Remember You” – Amy Grant
83. “Free Your Mind” – En Vogue
84. “Missing You Now” – Michael Bolton
85. “Please Don’t Go” - KWS
86. “Let’s Get Rocked” – Def Leppard
87. “Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover” – Sophie B. Hawkins
88. “Thinkin’ Back” – Color Me Badd
89. “Do I Have to Say the Words?” – Bryan Adams
90. “In the Closet” – Michael Jackson
91. “Addams Groove” – MC Hammer
92. “Beauty and the Beast” – Celine Dion & Peabo Bryson
93. “How Do You Talk to an Angel?” – The Heights
94. “Everything About You” – Ugly Kid Joe
95. “Stay”- Shakespear’s Sister
96. “Uhh Aah” – Boyz II Men
97. “All 4 Love” – Color Me Badd
98. “When a Man Loves a Woman” – Michael Bolton
99. “Wildside” – Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch
100. “This Used to Be My Playground” – Madonna
If you want further thoughts on other songs, please ask and I'll gladly share. See you all next time.
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I thought the movie was pretty good. The world building in this movie was phenomenal. I loved how they incorporated the perfect Pokémon for each choice they made in this world. Clearly they did their research with the property. Every time a Pokémon was on screen, I was in awe. And Ryan Reynolds was great as Detective Pikachu.
My only complaint is a huge one though and that was that I wasn’t nearly as invested in the human characters as I was in the Pokémon. The human lead Tim was incredibly melodramatic about everything. I get his backstory is sad but twenty minutes into the move I so badly wanted to tell him to cheer the fuck up. I really don’t think Justice Smith is that bad an actor, but this is the second blockbuster in a row where I got annoyed by his character (the other being JW: Fallen Kingdom). And somehow, his love interest Lucy was even more annoying. Her character was that grating. I was way more invested in the chemistry between Tim and Pikachu, hell even Pikachu and Psyduck more than I was with Tim and Lucy.
SpoilerBut the weirdest character was Bill Nighy’s absolutely called it villain. I could tell from a mile away that he was going to be the twist villain. Building up to that twist, he was very dull and wooden. Like I just wanted him to become the bad guy already. And when he became the villain...he was somehow funny as hell? Like the twist was executed terribly. It makes him the worst character by default, but it also makes him the best too? I don’t know, but when he went into Mewtwo’s body and started to become this over the top cliche villain, I busted out laughing. He was so bad, yet so good at the same time? I had such weird feelings about this character. How could someone be so boring, but then become unintentionally hilarious?
Also, once he went into Mewtwo’s body, I immediately knew Pikachu was going to be revealed as Harry this whole time.
Despite the human characters definitely being the worst thing about this movie, I really enjoyed Detective Pikachu. It was a fun time despite being an absolutely flawed movie. Best video game movie adaptation hands down. Maybe other studios should take note and hire people who actually know the source material to make legitimately good video game movies (looking at you Paramount and Sonic the Hedgehog...easy target).
8/10
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Was thinking about making a separate title for the news today, but here is fine too.
https://www.cnbc.com/2019/05/02/burger-king-takes-on-mcdonalds-with-a-range-of-unhappy-meals.html
Burger King is pairing up with the MHA for a special promotion for Mental Health Awareness Month. They are doing away with the coined phrase “Happy Meals” and promoting Real Meals because “not everyone is happy all the time”. They have five different mood meals: Pissed Meal (mad), Blue Meal (sad), Salty Meal (bitter), YAAAS Meal (excited), and DGAF Meal (yep they really are calling one the Don’t Give a Fuck meal).
From what I read, they are doing an initial test run in five major cities before rolling out the program nationwide. So you’ll probably have to go to a Chicago or New York City to buy a Pissed Meal for driving out that far.
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https://www.thewrap.com/sonic-the-hedgehog-fan-backlash/
It has to be embarrassing that unpaid internet fanboys could make a better CG Sonic than a multimillion dollar studio.
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On 4/24/2019 at 12:03 PM, Josh the trash said:
How do I look?
Bold and brash.
On 5/1/2019 at 7:41 PM, Katniss said:Dude have you seen this?
https://twitter.com/thedailyshow/status/1120757428382064640?s=21
He skipped The Incredible Hulk. But it’s okay. Everyone does.
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1 hour ago, Wumbo said:
"Waiting on the World to Change": Okay, seriously? Half the white dudes on this list already sound like John Mayer to some degree, we don't need the real thing here too. This is truly the most mealy-mouthed, meaningless song ever trying to send a message maaaan. And it's John Mayer singing it. This fucking goose. Maybe I should have put this on my Bottom 10.
This says hi.
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I’m so far behind since I no longer have HBO, but I’ve been thinking long and hard about ways to catch up so I’m just going to give up and get the DVD sets.
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On 4/1/2019 at 6:54 PM, E.V.I.L. said:
How would you react if you woke up one morning and you discovered you magically were turned into a beachball?
I would feel inflated with the possibility of becoming a beach ball.
On 4/1/2019 at 8:41 PM, Katniss said:omg if I said it twice I’m sorry lmao
have you listened to Maggie Rogers? I’ve been obsessed with her ever since her album dropped a few months ago
Can’t say that I have. I’ve only seen her name through your tweets and nowhere else.
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God himself sure is too busy to share the news with his loyal followers, so I thought I’d share this news with you all for him. Bless you @Jackie Chan for bringing this classic series back for a new generation to appreciate.
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https://www.sciencenews.org/article/black-hole-first-picture-event-horizon-telescope
Don’t know how many of you saw this yesterday but I think it’s pretty freaking cool. The first proof that black holes do exist, despite rumors of them being out there since the beginning of time.
Also the girl who discovered the first photo of this is my age so all the more hats off to her. Makes me happy knowing that people my age are making such huge discoveries.
Discuss.
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My favorite movie of the year so far. Easily the best of the DC Extended Universe. It was turn off your brain and just entertained the hell out of me.
My only complaint is that the climax ran on far longer than it had any right to. Like I wouldn’t be surprised if 1/4th of the movie’s runtime was the climax because my mind kept wandering thinking why this is still going on.
But that’s the only complaint I have. I loved the acting. I loved the humor. I loved the characters. Just one hell of a good time. Can’t wait to see it again.
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On 3/27/2019 at 4:27 PM, Wumbo said:
robbery by juice wrld for top 20 when
When you still see my shadows in your room.
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On 3/25/2019 at 7:53 PM, Thanos said:
Ant-Man would NOT be able to defeat me by crawling inside my ass and expanding. My butt is far too strong for that kind of nonsense, especially with the might of the Power Stone.
That’s like saying Green Book did NOT end racism.
SBC's Top 50 Worst Episodes Ever! (20 Years Edition)
in SpongeBob Episodes
Posted
While Pets or Pests isn’t one of my personal worst episodes, it does contain by far the worst gag in this history of this show. SpongeBob ringing Mrs. Puff’s doorbell for over thirty seconds without anything even remotely funny being attempted is one of the most insufferable moments in any series I’ve ever watched. It just sits there in prolonged annoyance trying to force a pity laugh but it doesn’t even get that from me. This series has some incredibly bad moments to watch like Squidward’s toe nail from House Fancy to the hanging the noose innuendo in Are You Happy Now to SpongeBob yelling at Gary to put Puffy Fluffy down to the repulsiveness of The Splinter just to name a few. But at least I got what they were trying to go for. Ringing a doorbell for a few seconds would have been understandable, but for over thirty seconds!? Why!? It’s the animators and writers purposely being cheap and just trying to find a way to meet the runtime easier. I can put up with my fair share of gross out humor (except for Fungus Among Us but that’s the only exception) but I can’t tolerate being this purposefully lazy.