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Clappy
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Posts posted by Clappy
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On 1/1/2018 at 1:27 PM, Old Man Bran Flakes said:
And go to the other pages to see 66ers spam requesting reviews all over the bloody place.
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Static Cling > Enter The Florpus
Most of this has to do with that I wasn’t as big on Invader Zim as others, but Rocko’s Netflix special was just genuinely more entertaining and was better crafted.
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Granted, both shows have been getting better after the doldrums that was the last couple months of post-Wrestlemania, 2019 will be the year of three things for me:
1. Bray Wyatt/The Fiend
He’s been absolutely killing it and has cemented himself as a must see act whenever he’s on screen. Please don’t fuck this up Vince.
2. Kofi Kingston
I thought post-Wrestlemania Kofi would only hold onto the title for a month, maybe two tops. Nope. He’s cemented himself as The Guy on Smackdown, even with The Big Dog not in the championship picture. Granted, I see him losing that belt in another month because Vince probably wants to have Brock as champ when Smackdown goes to Fox in a month. But Kofi has been the definition of a fighting champion ever since he got the belt and his record this year has been pretty damn remarkable. Even when he loses that belt, Kofi has secured his spot as one of the top guys company wide right now.
3. The 24/7 Championship
Its a comedy title thats entertaining as hell. Would I like to see more first time legitimate champions? Yes. But everyone involved, especially R-Truth and Drake Maverick, have been going above and beyond to make every segment involving it memorable and entertaining. R-Truth has deserved all 12/13 title reigns because he’s been so loyal for so long. And Drake has been willing to embarrass himself for the betterment of making these segments work and he’s been rewarded for it. Would like to see more guys willing to take risks like these two.
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1% Milk
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Runts
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On 8/20/2019 at 12:01 PM, katnisslovestacos said:
Thoughts on bad guy knocking Old Town Road off the top spot?
Lil Nas X’s response with that Squidward gif was great tho lmao
It had to happen eventually. Even though I think the song is only okay, it only made sense for bad guy being the song to dethrone it. It was number two for eight or nine weeks. Let it finally reach the mountain top...only to be dethroned by Señorita...which will probably get dethroned by Truth Hurts next week. Man that number one spot is being passed around like a hot potato.
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So the script for this has been floating around online for a few months now and one of my buddies on Reddit hooked me up with a copy awhile back.
Potentially spoilers? Can’t confirm or deny if this is the real script I found, but it sure does sound real. Read at your own risk.
SpoilerIf the script is any indication, this movie is going to be pretty damn bad. They basically make Arthur Fleck out to be an incel who is mentally ill because his mother treated him like shit and allowed him to be sexually abused as a child. And then there’s some added love interest bullshit with his neighbor, who he thinks she cheated on him because she has an actual boyfriend and she lead him on (she didn’t). So basically add “all women are evil” to make this movie come off as slightly sexist.
But the biggest joke (easy pun) is that there is a brief subplot where Arthur thinks Thomas Wayne is his father. Even if it was revealed that Arthur’s mom was committed and that the subplot was a lie, that’s absolutely asinine to think such a concept would be real. Basically, what the movie wants you to think up until that revelation is that The Joker is Bruce Wayne’s half brother. Ignoring the fact that they are also implying from this movie that Bruce is thirty years younger than The Joker. Get the fuck out of here with that fan fiction bullshit.
The only redeemable parts of the movie (and by that I mean slightly interesting) is the last twenty or so pages where Arthur finally goes full Joker. Where he fully commits to the fact that he started a political uprising and that there are people out there who supported his actions of killing the politicians he killed earlier in the movie who were beating him up because of his mental disorder. Granted, the “we live in a society” bullshit is absolutely been done to death so many times. And reading this script didn’t make me even remotely sympathetic towards Arthur whatsoever.
Oh and you’ll never guess what happens in the last couple pages. Bruce Wayne’s parents get murdered by some of The Joker’s fellow supporters. This is becoming a major nitpick with me, but I do not want to see Bruce’s parents die in any sort of DC movie or television show in a very long time. I think it’s now been four times that they’ve died on screen in the last fifteen years. It’s even more overdone than Uncle Ben dying in a Spider-Man movie. Just stop it!
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Will probably end up watching on Disney+. Despite everything I’ve said about the live action remakes this year, this one at least looks promising. Like the guy above me said, using actual dogs is a massive step up from whatever the fuck happened with those photorealistic animals from The Lion King. And those dogs, even the Tramp, look absolutely adorable. I’m a massive sucker for dogs, even if this ends up sucking.
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4 hours ago, Holy Halibut said:
You could probably make a "We Didn't Start the Fire" parody based off of everyone who worked with Lil Nas X this year.
I laughed for a second and then seriously thought of it. You’re so right.
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WARNING: We are using the charts of the previous week. Therefore, any commentary we have included was written before this week's chart was released. So yeah, the major news of "Old Town Road" getting dethroned will not be mentioned in this post. Congrats Billie btw.
Clappy: What to think of this year. What to think.
That's what I've been asking myself for the last couple months now as 2019 is more than half way over. I can think of a lot of things to call it. Strange. Interesting. Unpredictable. Boring. Which all four of these are absolutely true. If you are a chart watcher, you'll find a lot more intriguing discussion points about the hits of this year and who's behind them in comparison to last year, where we had too much Drake and multiple domestic abusers in the top ten and the pop of that year was virtually nonexistent. 2018 was a god awful year for reviewing the hits. So yeah, I'll take 2019 in a heartbeat as we cleansed ourselves of most of that trash from the previous year.
But if I had one major complaint for this year, it would be the boring aspect I brought up before. There has been way too much stability. Which yeah, if you look back at the first thirty pages of reviews in this thread, I talked about how there hasn't been much movement in the top ten in 2013-2015. Jesus Christ, was I naive back then or what? Because this is what true lack of chart movement really feels like. If we ended up doing the week before the one we ended up choosing, I would have had to talk about FIVE hits from my last chart ranking FIVE months ago, instead of the two we are discussing today. Hell, I'm glad Billboard added that 52 week recurrent rule now four years ago because god only knows how many more of these songs would be clogging up the upper half of the charts if that didn't happen.
I wish this top twenty was a little more exciting to talk about, but hey I'll take what I can get. It's at least a step in the right direction from the utter garbage of last year. Let's go.
Wumbo: As you may know, I did not have a fondness for the year in music that was 2018. Sure, we got some great stuff. But most of the scene on the pop charts just felt ugly and formless, and difficult to care about. When the biggest stories of the year involve the hottest rappers being a domestic abuser and a pedophile, it's hard to really step back and view the charts for what they are. I was not happy with the way the year turned out. I thought it could have been really good, but it turned out to be just the opposite.
This year, however, things appear to be taking a turn for the better. And no further evidence is needed than our Top 20 right now. When I did this last time with Clappy, I struggled to like even half of the songs on this list. This year, I can honestly say I only really dislike about five of these songs. That's pretty good! So are you ready for a lot of positivity?! Well, I'll try to make it exciting, anyway.
CLAPPY AND WUMBO RANK THE SUMMER 2019 BILLBOARD TOP 20
Spoiler20. "I Don't Care" - Ed Sheeran & Justin Bieber
Clappy - #20
Wumbo - #20Clappy: Why is this number twenty on my seasonal ranking list? It’s the perfect song to exemplify the boring aspects of this year. I’ve seen so many people call this song “a pop song of the moment”. Well I guess we, as a collective society, are bored by what the music industry is offering us. These are two of the biggest male pop stars right now shitting out this dull turd, yet somehow it is one of the biggest songs of the summer because of the names attached to it. I really hate to spoil my year end list, but this is a sure fire lock to make it. Hell, it could potentially be the worst hit song of the year. It is that “of the moment”.
Wumbo: You know, if Ed Sheeran wants to stray away from his craft and release a full-fledged pop collaboration album, then I say go for it. Honestly, I think people were overreacting with the negative response to the album. I've heard the songs and... it's fine. Maybe it's because I've never put much stake in Ed Sheeran as an artist, but this project didn't bother me too much and I think quite a few of the songs actually work really well. "Beautiful People" is a fun song, "Blow" is a straight-up banger, and "Antisocial" is one of the oddest collaborations this year that strangely works.
THIS song, however, inexplicably the most successful of the bunch, is a straight-up turd. Of all the people Ed Sheeran collaborated with on his album, Justin Bieber is easily the least interesting. He is a completely personality-free singer and sucks the charisma out of any room he enters. You know, at least when he was a kid, he was charming to somebody. Who is really clamoring for Bieber to mumble his way through yet another verse he doesn't give a shit about? The song is completely, boring, lifeless, and amounts to nothing. This is not a lead-off single. This is something that should have been left off the album entirely. And yet... here it is, still in the Top 10. What a load of crap.
Spoiler19. "Someone You Loved" - Lewis Capaldi
Clappy - #19
Wumbo - #19Clappy: Oh ho ho ho, but boy does this come awfully close to being the worst song on this ranking list. As you all know, one of the easiest ways for a song to piss me off is just be flat out boring and god is this song a slog and a half. Thanks a lot Scotland for sending this Britain’s Got Talent reject stateside.
Honestly I haven’t hated an exported hit this badly since Passenger. And by that I mean I hate the song and the artist equally. Why does Lewis Capaldi sound like a constipated dying ostrich? Why is he overselling heartbreak this punchably? Seriously, it sounds like someone punched him in the gut while he is screeching that “AND I”. Is this what we get from the family tree of one of The Doctor’s from Doctor Who? If so, then can we please send this shit back to where it came from? I repeat, PLEASE!?
Wumbo: Oh my God. What garbage heap did we pull this guy from?
This is Lewis Capaldi. He sucks. He sucks at singing, and he sucks at writing. Case in point: This song somehow took him six months to write. This E-Z Rock Radio piece of garbage, only brought to any sort of interest by his awful, awful voice. It's like if Chad Kroeger was Scottish. And boy, isn't a Scottish Chad Kroeger what we really needed on the pop charts? Gag me. How the hell did this get big?
Spoiler18. "Ransom" - Lil Tecca
Clappy - #17
Wumbo - #18Clappy: I kid you not. This is seriously the first time I’ve ever heard this song. I’ve got no strong opinion on the song or him whatsoever. Might as well call this Generic Trap Song 234657 which these songs by these no names are becoming so by the numbers that I don’t understand why we still put up with these. I mean I hear nothing distinct about this song that I haven’t heard before…although I am watching the video now. He’s a sixteen year old kid getting felt up by Dominican prostitutes. Somebody call his momma…or the authorities…
Wumbo: I tell ya guys, I listen to songs like this and they just make me feel horrifically old. I feel like if I was even a couple years younger, I would understand the appeal of this song from beginning to end. As is, though, this is squealing from an infant to me. I have no reason to invest in this derivative, boring, aimless song, because it gives me nothing to latch onto. Maybe Lil Tecca will actually develop an identity when he gets older. But if this is all he can do, I can't say we'll be seeing a Lil Tecca Greatest Hits collection anytime soon.
Spoiler 17. "No Guidance" - Chris Brown (featuring Drake)
Clappy - #15
Wumbo - #18Clappy: Okay can I just say that this song would be so much better without Chris Brown? Ignoring all the Chris Brown is an atrocious person arguments, this is a bad R&B song with a good guest verse. This is by far the hardest I’ve heard Drake try on a R&B guest verse in years. He nearly saves the song from being in my bad graces…and then we get to Chris Brown. Once again, ignoring all the Chris Brown toxicity that stains everything he is a part of, he completely misses the mood of his own song. In what calls for a sensual lowkey vibe, Chris Brown misses the mark by a country mile and just tries way too hard. He oversings everything, he nearly shouts some of his lines, and just ruins the mood that Drake practically gift wrapped for him. I get that Drake helped revive Meek Mill’s career this year, but did he have to help Chris Brown?
Wumbo: Man, I am so tired of Chris Brown. It feels like Chris Brown is just gonna be around forever, like a stubborn cockroach. And as long as he's gonna keep being unimpressive, I'm gonna keep on calling him out. This song is a complete snooze, from one artist who sounds completely tuned out (Drake) and one I wish was completely turned off (Chris Brown). I know this is as tired a conversation as any, because Chris Brown can't even fucking sing. I could understand his continued success if he was actually talented, but he's not. He's really just not. And Drake? Man, I don't even need to say how sick I am of Drake. After 2018, I've had enough of Drake to last me a lifetime. Thankfully he's just dull on this one and not obnoxious, but Chris Brown does more than enough to make up for it. Did this only get big because Drake and Chris Brown had such a publicized feud before? What a waste of time.
Spoiler16. "The Git Up" - Blanco Brown
Clappy - #18
Wumbo - #11Clappy: I already wasted my prime material with that now lost forever status update. “The Git Up” sounds like Nashville’s youth group friendly version of “Old Town Road”. Except it fails to replicate the magic of why OTR worked. Most importantly, OTR doesn’t have the meddling of studio hacks. I doubt we will ever hear from Blanco Brown ever again after this song and it seems like he is fine with that. Enjoy your brief moment in the sun, guy. Being known as a lesser rate version of one of the biggest songs of all time. Bandwagon hopper.
Wumbo: Now sliiide to the left! Sliiide to the right...
Pop music has never been one to shy away from its dance crazes, even in its early days. (I swear, that 1962 list is coming out soon.) "The Git Up" is just the latest entry in the trend, obviously climbing so high because of its TikTok popularity and its country-rap resemblance to "Old Town Road". This just isn't a song you can take seriously. There's absolutely no meat to it. But it's fun and light enough that I'd be lying if I said it didn't put a smile on my face every time I listened to it. Do I think Blanco Brown is going to have any more hits? No. But he certainly could have done a lot worse.
Spoiler 15. "Money in the Grave" - Drake (featuring Rick Ross)
Clappy - #13
Wumbo - #15Clappy: Wasn’t this song released to celebrate the 2019 NBA champion Toronto Raptors? Why is Drake still trying to press Pusha T’s buttons? Does he really need that hatchet to be buried deeper? I wonder what Pusha T will further reveal about Drake when he gets around to that next diss track? Who still cares about Rick Ross in 2019? And most importantly, why are all these questions more interesting than this song itself? At least this beat slaps.
Wumbo: Wow, look, guys! Drake's going hard again. Is he? Is he really? I'm so numb to Drake these days. Maybe this is better than most of his output in the past few years, but does that really make it good? And why is Rick Ross on this? To please the only Rick Ross fan left? All I can say is that if this is supposed to be the reward we get for winning the NBA, Toronto deserves better. Beat's okay, though.
Spoiler14. "Goodbyes" - Post Malone (featuring Young Thug)
Clappy - #16
Wumbo - #9Clappy: There is seriously nothing else I have to say about this than, “And here’s Post Malone. Not trying.” Seriously, Post Malone songs are becoming as cliché as the Generic Trap Songs that I talked about earlier. You know what would surprise me? If he didn’t do a song about his pills, his girls, and any other sad boy shit he wants to whine about. I didn’t like “Wow” either, but after hearing it so much throughout the year, it started to warm up on me by the slightest bit for not being an overdramatic slog. Oh and Young Thug is on this. I normally welcome a Young Thug guest verse since they aren’t always the same thing every time. But this is not one of his better ones. I think he admitted to slicing and dicing a girl. His arrest warrant is on the way.
Wumbo: So "Sunflower" is fine and all, but if I'm being honest, Post Malone works best as a sadboi. This is exactly the angst I expect from him, and the sparse instrumentation at the beginning of the song is honestly... chilling? I never thought I'd say that about Post Malone, but he's great sticking to lyrics which accentuate his delivery. I'm reminded of the best song on Beerbongs and Bentleys, "Stay". And maybe Young Thug doesn't exactly fit on this, but he brings a much-needed energy to the song regardless, and sounds kind of sad and pathetic in his own right. I honestly think it's a more successful song than "Sunflower", in that there's an emotional pathos I can connect to. Maybe it's sad, but we all need sadboi music sometimes.
Spoiler13. "You Need to Calm Down" - Taylor Swift
Clappy - #11
Wumbo - #13Clappy: This song has so many problems. I should hate it. A lot. I’m beyond sick of Taylor making songs tackling her haters. Comparing said personal haters to haters of the LGBT community is quite possibly the stupidest music metaphors I’ve seen in my many years of reviewing. And these are some of the worst lyrics Taylor has ever written.
…and yet, I don’t hate it. This song has been filling a void that I’ve had for tasteless pop music that I’ve been longing for in 2019. Because these last few years have had so many same sounding singles. Too much pop centrism for my taste. You know what? For the MANY problems this song has going for it, it at least sticks out amongst the pack. I’m not going to recommend it. Hell I don’t like it. But around the middle of the pack of this top twenty sounds like a good place for it.
Wumbo: All right, all right. So the song's a little... okay, a lot messy. So maybe it doesn't quite hit the mark with its LGBT allyship. It's still miles ahead of the awful, awful song that was "ME!", so it's a step in the right direction. For one thing, it actually has a powerful chorus with booming vocals and percussion. And it does try for a reachout to queer communities, though I'm not sure that comparing your haters to bigots and homophobes is the smartest move. As I said, it's messy as hell. But it at least feels like a Taylor Swift move that isn't just white noise. And for that, I can respect it the teensiest little bit. Might want to unfriend Katy Perry again, though. Just sayin'.
Spoiler12. "Hey Look Ma, I Made It" - Panic! at the Disco
Clappy - #12
Wumbo - #10Clappy: Look I’m happy that Brendon Urie finally made his way back to the top. I may talk a lot about pop on this site, but my heart is still strong for rock and roll…not much so for the “rock and roll” of today. But as someone who has been a Panic! fan ever since that first album, seeing Brendon Urie become one of the biggest names on the Hot 100 right now makes me genuinely happy for the guy…
…too bad the quality isn’t there this time. It’s “High Hopes” again except not nearly as catchy or as memorable. Those lyrics aren’t kidding. Are you ready for the sequel; indeed. I don’t understand why he released this as a single. On that new album, this is immediately followed by…you guessed it, “High Hopes”. So I don’t know if this is ironic intentionally or if it’s just lame.
And look, I like the message this song sarcastically sends about how flimsy success in the music industry is. Look no further than Brendon Urie getting a second chance at mainstream superstardom as proof of that. But this chorus is so juvenile and bratty. And where I love the trumpets on “High Hopes”, I straight up hate them here. They are so blaring and annoying that it’s obnoxious. And that's pretty similar to my thoughts on this song.
Wumbo: I think that Panic at the Disco have adapted far better to the waning popularity of pop punk than their obvious contemporaries Fall Out Boy. Of course, Panic is just Brendon Urie now, but he certainly has star power, what with "High Hopes" being yet another song to last 52 weeks on the chart in 2019, and this song being a pretty sufficient replacement. It may not be as bombastic as the former, but I love Brendon Urie's voice and that can carry a lot. It does carry this song to the top half of my list, and I look forward to seeing what Brendon Urie does in the future.
Spoiler11. "Sucker" - The Jonas Brothers
Clappy - #14
Wumbo - #7Clappy: Don’t let the similar placement of this song from my Spring Ranking fool you. This song went from being nothing to me to flat out not liking it. I’m getting so actively sick of this song appearing everywhere. I get that we are nostalgic for the past, but did we really need this? This nothing of a song that has no original ideas and no personality? I guess this song did help me realize one thing. That I will never give a fuck about The Jonas Brothers.
Wumbo: Maybe the Jonas Brothers will never become critical darlings. But for what it's worth, I think they've really come together to make some good, catchy pop music this year. And this is clearly the standout of their singles this year. There's not really much to say about it. It's sharply written, fun, and sticks in your brain. Just like any good pop song should. Good job, boys.
Spoiler10. "Talk" - Khalid
Clappy - #7
Wumbo - #14Clappy: And the Khalid roller coaster quality ride continues. After like three songs he was involved with on my spring ranking not doing anything for me, this one does. I didn’t expect Khalid to make a silly love song about how communication is important in the early stages of a relationship, but here we are. The vibe I’ve come to expect from Khalid is lowkey and atmospheric. This took me by surprise that he had songs like this in him. I would say the credit completely goes to Disclosure, who produced this, but this beat is not one of their strongest. Honestly, what this reminds me more of is like a cartoony version of Hotline Bling. Right down to the music video, which let’s be honest, that’s exactly the vibe it’s going for.
As a one off surprise, I think it’s decent. But I hope Khalid doesn’t go down this road some more in the future. He’s far better than goofy songs like this, whether I like it or not.
Wumbo: I'm not really sure what to make of Khalid's success as of late. He's certainly not the worst artist on this list, but he's never really had that "wow" factor either. Which I suppose is part of his appeal, the lowkey nature of his music. And honestly, while I would never call this a favourite song of mine, there's a certain sweetness to Khalid's voices and the bouncy beat that makes this work. I don't know if you can call it a sleeper hit when it's been in the Top 5 for a while now, but that's the vibe it gives off. And while Khalid has done better, this is a fine, inoffensive part of his discography. I don't know if there's any real reason to seek it out, though. And that does hurt its position for me.
Spoiler9. "Suge" - DaBaby
Clappy - #5
Wumbo - #16Clappy: Okay let me get the only major nitpick I have with this out of the way first. Out of all the people you would want to emulate, Suge Knight is a terrible idea. Yes he was one of the youngest CEOs ever in music history, but you guys do know what happened to Suge Knight, right? He’s currently serving twenty eight years in prison for voluntary manslaughter after he stormed off the set seeing how he was going to be portrayed in “Straight Outta Compton”. Which even before that, he’s had numerous legal troubles that he should have been found guilty for multiple murders, robberies, firearm assault…and has had to declare bankruptcy multiple times. So yeah, comparing yourself to a young CEO like Suge is cool and all, but having to declare bankruptcy at a young age and multiple times since then is not nearly as cool or impressive as it makes you out to be.
But I’m more than willing to take my critical hat off for a couple minutes for this song. Because this song is a bop. I love the interpolated sample of the Jaws theme. I love DaBaby’s charisma. I love the outlandish declarations in these lyrics. I love the offbeat energy. I love DaBaby’s cadences. And I’ll straight up say it, DaBaby is one of the few new guys to emerge on the scene who actually has a shit ton of personality. I checked out his big breakthrough album. He’s a refreshing change of pace that trap music has badly needed over the last couple years. I’m invested in his future. He’s going to be a big star if he keeps it up.
Wumbo: Safe to say that my like for this song has thoroughly disintegrated. I guess it's not bad by any means, but I grew really bored of it. I think there's a lot of songs out there with more to it than this one. Maybe it'll grow on me again. I dunno. We'll see.
Spoiler8. "Senorita" - Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello
Clappy - #10
Wumbo - #8Clappy: So for the past year or so, Shawn Mendes has started to improve. I still wouldn’t call myself a fan or anything. He remakes the three to four same songs over and over again. But he at least keeps finding ways to make them sound better than the previous entry. More on that later.
This is the rare exception from the same handful of song topics, but I place that more on the fact that this is a duet with Camila Cabello, so they had to find some sort of middle ground. Hot sultry summer jam was definitely the right route to go. And I’ve got to say, the chemistry on this song is sizzling hot. It’s much better than their last collaboration together and it also goes with my theory that Mendes keeps finding ways to make his previous songs better than they were last time.
That being said, my problems all come down to Camila Cabello. I don’t know who the hell did her vocal mixing on this, but her voice is grating here. Its grating in general. It’s always been my problem with her going back to her Fifth Harmony days. I really wish I liked Camila’s solo work. I still love “Havana” and that’s because they toned down her over-singing to the right amounts. Everything she has been a part of since then has been fairly bad. And her part here I don’t like outside of her vocal harmonizing with Shawn Mendes.
Wumbo: This one grew on me quite a bit. I guess I just feel the chemistry between the two singers a bit more. Shawn Mendes especially has really matured as a singer. Wonder if he could give Justin Bieber some pointers? Although why does he want Camila Cabello to call him "senorita"? Sometimes shared choruses don't work, y'all. Regardless, this song does a lot to showcase each artist's transition into adulthood, and leaves me excited for what the next move might be.
Spoiler7. "Sunflower" - Swae Lee & Post Malone
Clappy - #4
Wumbo - #12Clappy: If this was a list of songs I wish would just get out of the top twenty already, this would easily top this list sadly. I’ve heard it too much and I can’t believe the longevity it has had. I don’t want to talk about this song anymore. That said, I still love it. Overplay will not affect my love for it, which is why I’m going to go out of my way to never listen to this song ever again outside of “Into the Spider-Verse”.
Wumbo: This is still here. Huh.
I tell ya, 2019 has been full of these lowkey songs that just refuse to go away, and "Sunflower" is no exception. This song has been on the charts for over 40 weeks and it's still in the Top 20. Not that there's anything wrong with the song, however. I'm not sure it holds up quite as well as I thought it would, but it is kind of a song that transcends seasons because of its lowkey feel. This could just as easily be a summer song as it was a fall, winter, and spring song. I suppose that's why it's lasted this long. It's a fine enough song, probably one of Swae Lee's best performances. I just don't feel the same connection to it as I once did. Still, not bad.
Spoiler6. "Boyfriend" - Ariana Grande & Social House
Clappy - #9
Wumbo - #2Clappy: I really wish Ariana Grande would just take a break. There I said it.
I don’t know how much of these recent singles that have been forced out involving her are due to Scooter Braun not letting her take some time off. But Ariana is clearly trying to make the best of whatever situation she seems to be stuck in. At least she is giving her cosign to those who gave her biggest hit “thank u next”. First it was the song’s lead writer Victoria Monet. Now this new duo Social House, who wrote and produced that slice of pop perfection. And fun fact, it has just now been revealed as of a few days ago, she is dating one of them. So maybe this song is about their casual dating beforehand?
If it is, then I don’t see this relationship lasting that long. I just don’t feel any chemistry whatsoever. The lyrics make it sound far more interesting than the way they perform it. Ariana singing sultry still sounds great. It’s Ariana. Even in her worst songs, she still sounds like a million bucks. But these Social House guys. Woof. Both of them should stick to writing and producing good beats. Because the beat does slap. Just wish the song had more oomph to it.
Wumbo: Okay, this one caught me off guard. On one level, this is just an inferior version of "thank u, next", which is really a fantastic track. But on another level, this song has the chillest and most perfect groove and it's absolutely captivating. There's something about it. I feel like it borrows from "Finesse" just as much as "thank u, next", which is never a bad thing. The two influences combine to give off this really chill vibe that just soothes your brain like a massage. Ariana Grande has always looked good with restraint in her delivery, and this song is the perfect avenue for that. I really love it. We'll see if it cools on me within the next few weeks, but for now, yeah. Really good stuff.
Spoiler5. "If I Can't Have You" - Shawn Mendes
Clappy - #6
Wumbo - #5Clappy: Like I said earlier, Shawn Mendes is improving. He has the same three song single types: the slow moody ballad, the mid tempo “nice guy” song, and the soaring high tempo jam and also the Camila Cabello duets to make four single types. And it seems he keeps finding ways to improve on them. This is the best soaring high tempo song I’ve heard from him.
And look, I know my theory about remaking the same types of songs is a bit of a stretch, but really think about it. I first realized this due to this song with the chorus. He can’t write ONE song that is not about you. It made me realize he does write a lot of songs about undescribed love interests. And slowly after that, I classified his singles into three different types.
And that lead us to here. Where I found my first Shawn Mendes song I can say I truly enjoy A LOT. This song just makes me feel genuinely happy, even if it’s familiar. The chorus is catchy, the verses actually sound realistic instead of the usual vague unfocused love interests he tends to write about, and most importantly, Shawn Mendes isn’t oversinging to the point that it’s distracting. He sounds so much more laid back and focused here than he has ever sounded and it helps him a lot. More of this please and maybe someday, Shawn Mendes will make a top ten list of mine.
Wumbo: What a fantastic pop artist Shawn Mendes has carved himself out to be. If you told me five years ago that this guy would be one of the most consistently good hitmakers years later, I would have called you crazy. But he's surpassing all his peers to become the male pop star we need around this time. With JT flopping hard last year, I think we've found ourselves a sufficient replacement. This is a wonderful song with a real earworm of a chorus, and Shawn Mendes continues to prove why he deserves our attention. There's something captivating about his voice; I think he's really found a style that works for him. Good on him, and good to have another Canadian artist to be proud of.
Spoiler4. "Bad Guy" - Billie Eilish
Clappy - #8
Wumbo - #1Clappy: Of all the Billie Eilish songs out there to get big, why did it have to be this one? I mean I get why it’s huge. MEMES! If you really want your song to stick around near the top of the charts, you can always rely on memes.
I mean its an okay song. Don’t really feel all that strongly about it. Billie’s sense of humor is spot on here. No wonder it became a meme because the song itself is a joke. The production building up this eerie sense of creepy instability only for the lyrics to represent that Billie is as threatening as an internet critic on a SpongeBob forum….hold up.
That being said, these lines. Woof. I don’t care if it’s a joke. I don’t want to hear lines about a seventeen year old girl trying to seduce my dad. No amounts of us being in on the joke makes me want to hear anything about something that fucked up. Oh and fuck the Justin Bieber remix. I bet that was a dream come true for Billie since I know how big a fan of his she is. But it doesn't work. At all.
PS - I love the beat change at the end. It works. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
Wumbo: There's been a lot of talk around our favourite new star of pop music, Lil Nas X. As much as I love "Old Town Road" and his Twitter presence, I feel like we need to take some of that energy and give it to Billie Eilish, who has proven to be a phenomenally talented artist in her own right. and here's "Bad Guy", probably the most pop-friendly of her songs on her new album, no surprise it's her most successful. There's a lot to love about this one. The coy performance, the sharply funny and cutting lyrics, the scathingly sarcastic bouncy production, and then that bit at the end where she just turns the joke up to eleven with this bass-heavy beat change. It's a wonder of a song, and we are so lucky to have artists like Billie Eilish in 2019. This isn't even the best song on the album, and it's still my #1 choice of this Top 20. That's how good she is, folks, because it's not like she had no competition. But in the end, I had to go with "Bad Guy". Duh.
Spoiler3. "Dancing With a Stranger" - Sam Smith & Normani
Clappy - #2
Wumbo - #6Clappy: Jesus, do I really need to pour my heart and soul out again about how much I related to this song? Please look that up a page ago if you want my full analysis. Love this song.
Wumbo: Okay, fine. I love this Sam Smith song. Are ya happy now?
Prior to this, the only time I could say I've ever liked Sam Smith was on that Disclosure collab five years back, "Latch". It's the only time he's sounded good in a song to me. But I have to admit, this one gets there. It works in a lot of the same ways "Goodbyes" does, tapping into the melancholy of being alone and trying to move on from that. The difference is, obviously, Sam Smith and Normani are much better singers than Post Malone and Young Thug. Hey, I can recognize talent where it's due. This is a pop song with real, heartfelt emotion sewn into it perfectly. And with Sam Smith's new song being good as well... damn, this is really shaping up to be the year of surprises for me. All I can say is keep 'em comin'!
Spoiler2. "Truth Hurts" - Lizzo
Clappy - #3
Wumbo - #4Clappy: If I see one more person bitch about how “Juice” deserves better…
No let’s talk about that for a minute. I agree that “Juice” is better. It’s one of my favorite songs this year period. But that doesn’t mean let’s collectively shit on “Truth Hurts” for being one of the biggest singles right now. It’s the “High Hopes”/”Say Amen” deserved better complaint. I hate music Twitter for that reason alone. Just shut up and appreciate true talent winning.
And that’s why “Truth Hurts” is awesome. Because it’s Lizzo’s personality that really shines through. I’ve covered my fair share of kiss off anthems over the years and this is one of the best ones I’ve ever reviewed. Practically all of Lizzo’s lines are legitimately great. Why are men great until they gotta be great? Girls do have guy problems, it’s human (and vice versa). But you know what my favorite line in this whole song is?
Hey I’m glad you’re back with your bitch
I mean, who would wanna hide this?
I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever be your side chickHow refreshing JESUS. She’s happy that this guy is back with his ex. Sarcastically of course because she genuinely doesn’t give a fuck. And that she knows she is better than his ex, that’s confidence that most of the recent kiss off anthems wish they had.
Genuinely love this. Hope it keeps climbing up all the way to number one.
Wumbo: Lizzo is a fucking star, and it's about time that she was recognized for her talents on Billboard. What can I even say about this song? It is a bold, unabashed display of confidence that only Lizzo can provide. It is such an earworm from beginning to end. That looping piano hook is absolutely infectious, and every line here is brilliant. By the way, my vote is on "shampoo press, get you out of my hair" for Best Two Seconds of Pop 2019.
So why only #4? I think I'm just salty that "Juice", an even better song, didn't get the same treatment. Hey, the truth hurts. But that's not to take away from this song at all, which is still fucking fantastic. And it only goes up from here...
Spoiler1. "Old Town Road" - Lil Nas X (featuring Billy Ray Cyrus, Diplo, Young Thug, the yodeling Wal-Mart kid, that one guy from BTS, Lil Wayne, and anyone else that wants to jump in for a remix)
Clappy - #1
Wumbo - #3Clappy: But for as much as I felt deep emotional connections to “Dancing With a Stranger”….it wasn’t topping this list. It was always going to be this. Bull riding and boobies.
I think it’s an understatement when I say that “Old Town Road” is the song of the year. A lot of people, myself included, think that 2019 has been a rather dull year for the charts. But at the same time, let’s look back and reflect for a minute. Look at some of the people who have some of the biggest hits of this year: The Jonas Brothers, Snow, Bradley Cooper, Panic! At the Disco, Bastille, and a huge upswing in country music hits. Compared to last year where a crap ton of album bombs rocked the charts by the biggest of names. 2019 may be a boring charting year, but it’s also lowkey very interesting by WHO is getting the biggest of hits. And of all the people who are getting hits, Lil Nas X and (to a slightly lesser extent) Billy Ray Cyrus are the strangest of them all. A Nicki Minaj Twitter stan who decided to make a song for the hell of it and a has-been who has been basically trying everything since his big hit in 1992 to stay relevant. These two have the biggest number one hit single of all time. THESE TWO PEOPLE. I’m still fascinated by how this happened.
But the most fascinating thing of all? This song is legitimately great. It’s country music and rap music meeting at a crossroads and not sucking. Lil Nas X sounds like he could fit in with the outlaw country of the 70s and Billy Ray Cyrus adds legitimacy and soulful depth as the old timer who has seen it all. And the funny thing? It’s not that complicated of a song. Why else does it have so many remixes? Because it’s simply a catchy song that doesn’t have deep lyrical depth. My headline for the song title may be a joke, but it’s also not. Here let me put it this way:
This YouTube parody is that. A parody. But it wouldn’t surprise any of you if any of these people, aliens, etc. would hop on for a remix. Because that beat is simple, yet catchy enough to make any of this work and sound awesome.
Old Town Road. More than just a meme. It can change music as we know it.
Wumbo: So here we are. "Old Town Road". Still the #1 song on Billboard. A record-breaker. Does it deserve it? Hell yes.
I can't remember the last time a group of people united so thoroughly over a song. I was in the club just last night, and when this song came on. Everybody fucking stopped what they were doing and sang along, myself included. It's so bloody good. And the only way it was made better was with the inclusion of Billy Ray Cyrus. It took me a little bit to become accustomed to his part, but it's now just another cherry on top of an already delicious sundae of a song. Billy Ray Cyrus and Lil Nas X are magic together. Man, this has been a strange year. But a fun one. Can't wait to see Lil Nas X at the top of the charts in 2020.
Clappy: So as I said earlier, 2019 can be called a lot of things. Strange. Interesting. Unpredictable. Boring. And that summarizes this week's chart as well quality wise. All over the place, but definitely an improvement over the charts this time last year. I've said a lot of things about this year in this post, but the last year of the 2010s is ending this decade on a peculiar note. I have no idea what to expect when list season rolls around and I will definitely be watching with eyes wide open to see what makes the year end charts and what doesn't. All I got to say is I eagerly await with open arms.
Wumbo: 2019 may not be a perfect year. But as I said, it sure is shaping up to be a hell of a lot better than 2018. We'll see what happens in the fall, but until then, as long as we have talents like these, remain optimistic. Wumbo out.
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On 7/11/2019 at 11:30 PM, kevin_ng2010 said:
¿LA BASURA ?
On 7/11/2019 at 11:40 PM, Renegade the Unicorn said:1963-1966 Beatles > 1967-1970 Beatles?
Not really those levels of picky. I think all eras of The Beatles are legitimately good to great.
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On 8/13/2019 at 11:32 AM, Sweat said:
gee i wonder who it could be, i hope it's not wumbo again
Its funny because Wumbo used to use this meme all the time.
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The 2007 lists won’t be ready for another month or so. But I’m not going to leave you guys high and dry without any content this summer. Especially during our ten year anniversary month. So with that in mind, it’s the summer time. Which means it’s seasonal ranking time. But I’m not doing this one alone. In celebration of SBC’s tenth birthday, I’ve got a special guest doing this one with me. Someone who also wanted to tackle this season’s Hot 100 with me. Someone who’s idea this was. Someone you’ll never see coming.
It’s Wumbo.
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Time to dust off my full name:
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Okay I really need to get something out of my system when it comes to this movie. Because, spoiler alert, this has an incredibly good shot at making my worst list for this year. But I’ve been thinking about how awful this was for nearly two weeks that I need to say something. Much longer than I did for Aladdin a few months ago. Maybe it’s because 1994 Lion King is one of my all time favorite movies. I’m leaving a lot of complaints out because I can complain about the CGI photorealistic animals another day or how soulless one of their most soulful animated movies turned out to be in live action and so much more come year end time. I need to save plenty of material for then.
Most of you should know by now that my previous defenses for the live action trend Disney has been on is that at least they are trying new things. Well with these last few adaptations in particular, that has proven to be a big fat lie. I popped in 1994 Lion King after first seeing the 2019 shitfest and this was practically a shot for shot, line for line remake. Changing maybe a few small things here and there that were so insignificant in the grand scheme of things. This is a whole new level of laziness that I should apologize to everyone who keeps calling out Disney for being this tediously obvious that this trend is clearly is for financial gains. Before any of you point out that 1994 Lion King is so perfect that they were playing it safe by not changing anything, you’re flat out wrong. 2017 Beauty and the Beast played it safe too but at least they tried to add some additional elements to the story about Belle’s mom. 2019 Lion King is so bad that it has me complimenting 2017 Beauty and the Beast, which is also bad.
The only net positive I can give this movie is that Timon and Pumba at least give the movie some life and charisma that this movie sorely needed. The same way Will Smith’s Genie did to Aladdin. But the major difference between the former and latter is Will Smith brings life to a movie sorely needing additional charismatic actors. The voice cast in The Lion King has so much talented involved with it that it’s embarrassing how much Donald Glover, Beyoncé, Chiwetel Ejifor, Alfre Woodard, and James Earl Jones clearly don’t give a shit that they are involved with this.
Whats worse? Aladdin or Lion King? I’m still perplexed because one is a school PTA stage performance levels of awful remake; and the other is the biggest atrociously bad soulless cash grab that Disney has ever committed. Either way, it’s pick your poison. These are both terrible movies. And the Disney live action adaptation trend is awful. I’m sorry I ever defended it if this is what it has come down to.
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Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood
A much needed good movie since I still had the sour taste of 2019 Lion King in my mouth from the past two weeks. Not sure where I’d place it amongst Tarantino’s best, but definitely an improvement over The Hateful Eight.
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On 6/5/2019 at 10:55 PM, kev said:
more like belongs...?
Could I have another hint?
On 7/4/2019 at 12:38 PM, Katniss said:No spoilers but how did you like the new season of Stranger Things?You kinda answered my question on the Discord haha so how would you rank 3 compared to the previous two seasons?
1 > 3 > 2
The first season is still the best because of its better pacing. The other two seasons take a slow burn approach. Which three executed better than two because it did a better job handling the slow burn leading to a wild second half of the third season. And also Season 3 didn’t have The Lost Sister, which is the far biggest misstep Stranger Things has ever done.
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Old Town Road and it’s not even close against those other two perfectly okay songs.
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21 hours ago, Young Nug said:
how is Ultron inconsequential
I’m still not like a giant fan but the movie is literally only bad because it’s actual story couldn’t breathe through all the elements for Phase 3 movies it was establishing plots for. Phase 3 has almost retroactively redeemed it, seeing as how it directly affects 6 of the biggest films of the next phase. Opposite of inconsequential.
Probably should have worded that better. My bad.
What I meant was that all it did was set up the events of Phase 3 instead of trying to focus on its own movie. Making it the most disposable (yeah disposable is a better word than inconsequential) Avengers movie, since my image of an Avengers movie is an event like the OG movie, Infinity War, and Endgame. Age of Ultron did not feel like that. It could have set up everything it set up for future Marvel movies while still being an event movie like anything with The Avengers tagline should be. Instead, we got what we got and you’re right; even I’ve warmed up to it a bit because of everything that happened in Phase 3. That being said, it’s still a major missed opportunity.
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- Popular Post
- Popular Post
https://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/disney-channel-star-cameron-boyce-dies-20/story?id=64174031
The Disney Channel star from Jessie and The Descendants franchise died in his sleep from a seizure. The seizure came from a ongoing medical condition that he was getting treatment for.
A very sad story to wake up to. He was so young and I thought he was a talented guy from the few times I’ve seen him on screen whether it be my couple times watching Jessie and when he played one of Adam Sandler’s kids in the Grown Ups movies.
May he Rest In Peace.
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And since the first three phases are completed, time to bump this once more. Especially since I rewatched the MCU in its entirety so my fiance could better understand the series of events that took place over the last eleven years.
1. Avengers: Endgame
2. Captain America: Civil War
3. Avengers: Infinity War
4. The Avengers
5. Iron Man
6. Black Panther
7. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
8. Thor: Ragnarok
9. Guardians of the Galaxy
10. Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol 2
11. Ant-Man
12. Spider-Man: Far From Home
13. Spider-Man: Homecoming
14. Doctor Strange
15. Iron Man 3
16. Thor
17. Captain America: The First Avenger
18. Ant-Man and The Wasp
19. Avengers: Age of Ultron
20. Captain Marvel
21. Thor: The Dark World
22. The Incredible Hulk
23. Iron Man 2
UPDATED THOUGHTS:
-Endgame is seriously everything I could have ever wanted for a proper finale for the Infinity saga. I love it to pieces and I'll be in absolute shock if Kevin Feige ever manages to top Endgame in terms of a penultimate superhero movie that this was.
-Civil War may not have the top spot anymore but I still love how it incorporates that being a superhero results in consequences for better and for worse.
-Infinity War I absolutely adore as well. I can't picture this movie being made any other way despite openly admitting that there are some glaring out of character flaws that take place.
-Biggest rise on this list for me is the placement of Guardians 2. Rewatching this on one of my work trips really made me come around on it even more (and then rewatching again not too long after with my fiance). Is it better than the first? No. But the massive strides it took in character development really made this a great movie to rewatch multiple times. Plus with all signs pointing to Phase 4 heading towards a more galactic focus, it makes sense why we got so many end credits scenes laying the foundation of future MCU movies.
-Far From Home is better than Homecoming. It balanced the high school based storylines and the aspects of being a superhero better than Homecoming did. It just did a better job of investing me in and the action scenes are better as well. I don't love what they did with Mysterio outside of one scene that was admittedly fucking awesome. Despite Jake Gyllenhaal doing an awesome job (its Jake Gyllenhall, of course he will do awesome with whats given), Michael Keaton's Vulture was just an overall better developed character. The movie also got annoying how they masked plot points that didn't make sense with comedy. Still, Far From Home was the better of the two movies, but its very fitting that I feel like they are placed right next to each other because its more or less the same sort of movie. The third movie they are teasing though with that mid credits scene I can't fucking wait for.
-It feels like Iron Man 3 is always falling down the list every update. It just goes to show how much it has started to sour on me, even though I still like it.
-I stand by my thoughts on Ant-Man and The Wasp being the perfect comedy break I needed with the main storyline of the Infinity saga. But after rewatching this a few weeks ago, I just don't think its as good of a movie on its own. I still like this too, but man did they dumb down Scott Lang or what? At least Endgame rectified Scott's character from being a total dumbass like they did here.
-Age of Ultron got better after rewatching it for the first time in three years, but I still stand with everything I said about it being pretty much inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. But hey at least it did contribute something in showing that someone was worthy all this time.
-Captain Marvel, I've shared my thoughts on. Go find it in its respective thread. Not ready to give up on this character yet because she will practically be a major staple from here on out. Hopefully they make major strides in making her more interesting and compelling. And Brie Larson is able to make the character her own.
-Those bottom three are basically going to be engraved to the bottom until Marvel makes another movie that mediocre (Thor 2, Incredible Hulk) or bad (Iron Man 2) again.
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So this completely original sequel is about an antagonist who wants to collect the six infinity stones musical strings to eliminate all music genres except rock.
If she gets her hands on all six infinity strings, she’ll be able to wipe out half of music with a pluck of her guitar.
*strums*
...just like that.
@Thanos, did you let DreamWorks copy your homework?
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Been meaning to make this topic for awhile now ever since I announced it on Discord months back. About halfway through the year sounds like the right time to make this official.
Consider this the last giant group project I’m ever going to do on this site. Doesn’t mean I’m still not going to do the yearly threads or any review thread updates because I still am. But I know I won’t be around in 2029 to do something like this ever again lmao.
As a good portion of you know how these year end threads go, I’m not going to go into too deep detail to explain it. But the condensed version of it is this. This thread is for the best and worst of movies, music, television, etc. of 2010-2019. Everybody can participate and share their thoughts on anything and everything. For example, Steel does annual animation lists so I fully expect him to do a decade end animation list. Kat likes to talk about the best albums of every year, so you guys can do a decade end albums chart. I know a lot of you love video games, so feel free to do best or worst video games of the decade. Any form of entertainment can apply here.
As for me? I’m just sticking to the big three that I mentioned earlier since it’s only fitting. I’m probably going to share mine sporadically throughout the rest of the year. I’m going to start off with television since I highly doubt that whatever is debuting in the fall will impact my decade end thoughts on anything television related so expect that ranking in the next couple months. Music...I would prefer to wait until Billboard shares its decade end charts come November or December, but I’m fully certain of like 95% of what will make their decade list anyway so I may post it a tad earlier...we’ll see how that goes. And movies will be last since I save that for last traditionally because who knows what sort of movie will come out at the tail end of the year that can shake things up.
Anyway, can’t wait to get these projects off the ground and running. Can’t wait to read everyone else’s thoughts and I can’t wait to share mine with you all fairly soon.
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Homophobia: The Miniseries
in Davy Jones' Locker
Posted
Man. It’s been over two years since this masterpiece of a miniseries.
I sure hope familyguybetergriffin is still searching for those good ole fashion values.