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Rebel the Wolfgirl
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Posts posted by Rebel the Wolfgirl
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I was never big on basketball, but I remember when Kobe was at his peak in terms of popularity and performance. To know he was likely about to make a comeback makes this news even more painful. I hope that he and his daughter find peace wherever they are.
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17 hours ago, jjsthekid said:
This is actually really surprising to me. How does what essentially amounts to a work of humorous self-help get to #3 in just a day or two?
In any case, it means a lot.
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Parable of the Monk: A Lesson in Zen and Its Truths
Greetings all, Renegade here. I was looking around for the next topic in Discordianism to discuss, when my friend and fellow pope Randimaxis pointed me to a parable from the Principia, page 0005, entitled "A Zen Story". Unfamiliar with this particular bit of the Unholely Book, I skimmed over it, then read it carefully. I realized this would be a perfect object lesson in Objective and Subjective truths, and so now here we are.
Now, for your reading displeasure, "A Zen Story", by one Camden Benares, the Count of Five and Headmaster of the Camp Meeker Cabal.
QuoteA serious young man found the conflicts of mid 20th Century America confusing. He went to many people seeking a way of resolving within himself the discords that troubled him, but he remained troubled.
One night in a coffee house, a self-ordained Zen Master said to him, "go to the dilapidated mansion you will find at this address which I have written down for you. Do not speak to those who live there; you must remain silent until the moon rises tomorrow night. Go to the large room on the right of the main hallway, sit in the lotus position on top of the rubble in the northeast corner, face the corner, and meditate."
He did just as the Zen Master instructed. His meditation was frequently interrupted by worries. He worried whether or not the rest of the plumbing fixtures would fall from the second floor bathroom to join the pipes and other trash he was sitting on. He worried how would he know when the moon rose on the next night. He worried about what the people who walked through the room said about him.
His worrying and meditation were disturbed when, as if in a test of his faith, ordure fell from the second floor onto him. At that time two people walked into the room. The first asked the second who the man was sitting there was. The second replied "Some say he is a holy man. Others say he is a shithead."
Hearing this, the man was enlightened.
Have you finished reading? Yes? Good. Now what can we take away from this parable? The answer is both complicated and simple. The complicated answer is that there is no "right" answer - Zen parables are open to interpretation, after all, and this one is no exception. On one hand, the Zen Master could be trying to show this young man that peoples' opinions don't exactly matter; after all. what are wordly opinions compared to seeing the word truly as it is and finding enlightenment. On the other hand, the "Zen Master" could've just been a Discordian pulling a fast one on a greyface for shits and giggles (or gits and shiggles, either one works). But the answer, at least to me, is both at the same time. By trying (and succeeding) at elaborately baiting and switching the greyfaced young man for his own amusement, the Discordian "Zen Master" ultimately accomplishes a larger goal: to get the young man to see that nothing is serious and that everything is humorous in one form or another. Thus, the young man goes from a greyface confused by an illogical and disorderly world to someone who sees the world as it truly is - taking itself too seriously as he had, whilst also being chaotic and free-spirited underneath that "serious" facade.
Ultimately, the Parable of the Monk is a lesson in objective truth, subjective truth, and ultimately Truth with a capital T.
- Objective truth: defined as what can be seen as fact and nothing else. The young man is serious, and views things from an objective point of view. This objective view sees him take the monk's words at face value in hopes of trying to make sense of a nonsensical country.
- Subjective truth, defined as what others see as the truth. The young man recieves various answers from other people on how best he can ease his troubled mind, the monk believes meditation is the answer, the young man's worries as to what others will think of him, and the two onlookers' conclusion that he is both a holy man and a shithead.
- Truth, defined by Discordianism as neither objective or subjective, but Truth as is. The young man finally reaches enlightenment by the observation that he is both a holy man for meditating as long as he has, and a shithead for falling into the monk's prank as easily as he had. And so, he begins his journey anew, free from his worries and wiser in the long run.
And, overall, the moral of the story is "Don't take everything you see at face value or take everything so seriously. Find things that make you feel happy, and ask questions about the world around you; the answers might surprise you."
I have said all I have wanted or needed to say, hence this entry's rather short length compared to the last. I bid you farewell.
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The 5 Basics: Our Lady of Discord, the Rules of 3s and 5s, Dichotomies, and the Five Principles
If one is to embrace Lady Eris as their Goddess, then one must know the Five Basics of Discordianism.
- Who is Eris?
- What are the Rules of 3s and 5s?
- What are Dichotomies and why are they so important?
- What are the Five Principles of Discordianism? And more importantly, can we trust them?
Notice how there are Five Basics, but only 4 bullet points? That is because while the Rules of 3s and 5s might be the same, they are simply two different ways of looking at the world. Strike that, reverse it! WE'LL GET TO THAT POINT LATER.
-----fnord-----
WHO IS LADY ERIS?
Who, exactly, is Lady Eris? I'll tell you exactly who she is: She is funny. She is intelligent. She is sexy. She is flirty. And more importantly, she is Goddess of Discordianism (and my waifu).
But I am getting slightly off topic here. Eris, as viewed by the Greeks, was primarily the Goddess of Strife and Disorder; however, their views cannot be trusted, for they were (as the Goddess saith) victims of indigestion - remember to check the expiration dates on your Hebrew Nationals, Ball Park Franks, etc., folks. She was emphatically not, as commonly believed, the Goddess of Chaos; that is simply a modern conflation with Her Motherfather - the primordial and formless Void from which She, Her Sister Aneris (otherwise called Harmonia or Order), and Their Brother Pnevmatikótita (otherwise called Spiritualitas or Spirituality) were birthed.
And that, friends, provides a nice segue into the Discordian Creation Myth. In the beginning, there was Void - formless, with no gender or sex, and simply pure, unadulterated Chaos. From Chaos there came Form; and from Form there came twins - Eris and Aneris, both born as adults. Whereas Eris was fun, flirty, and didn't give a load of dingoes' kidneys, Aneris was more serious and greyfaced. But mostly she was jealous of Eris, who was born pregnant and birthed the human race as Her children - immortal, without semblance of illusions such as right or wrong, monogamy or sexual and gender discrimination, aging and therefore death.
Suffice to say, Aneris was pissed. How dare her sister get the privilege of being born pregnant while she was forever sterile!? Therefore, her solution was rightly sound: the old standby of "If I can't have immortal demigod children, then no one can!"
As you can clearly see, this "logic" is not only stupid, but is ironically illogical for a being such as Aneris. In her petty jealousy, Aneris gave Humanity five curses: the curse of Right and Wrong, the curse of Mortality (hence why everything begins in life and death; Eris births our spirits and shapes our mortal bodies, Aneris makes us grow older and eventually die), the curse of Order, the Curse of Hate (which comes in many forms, most prominently racism and anti-LGBT viewpoints), and finally the curse of Seriousness, more popularly known as the Curse of Greyface after its most prominent ancient philosopher.
Spirituality wants nothing to do with his sisters' BS, hence why he has no place in Discordian Creation. And honestly, who'd want to be? So thanks a ton, Aneris. You're the reason we as a species are so screwed up.
Anyways, we cannot see Eris, at least not with our own mortal eyes. We can, however, freely communicate with Her through a small part of our brain known as the pineal gland. How one interprets the Goddess is purely up to Her, as she appears to many in different forms. This, for instance, is how the Greeks and Romans interpreted her:
And this is how I (and a number of my generation) interpret her:
Either way, Eris can and does appear however and whenever she sees fit - she routinely likes to play jokes on unsuspecting victims - it's her way of showing she loves you.
That about covers it for Our Lady of Discord, I should think.
-----fnord-----
WHAT ARE THE RULES OF THREE AND FIVE?
The Rule of 5s is a well-known and documented phenomenon in Discordianism, having been first recorded in the Principia. It is a way of thinking by seeing the number 5 in everything - as 5 is Eris' favorite number. Much less known, however, is the Rule of 3s, first revealed by the Goddess to me when we first began talking about life, the universe, and everything (we both agree it's an excellent book, probably one of Douglas Adams' best). "3," so saith the Goddess, "is my second favorite number. Not as much as 5, mind you. That's not why nobody has noticed it before you, darling."
"But my Lady, my Goddess, my Lover!" I implored. "What is the Rule of 3s?" I then received a hard backhand for my insolence.
"If you'll just let me talk for a moment," Eris told me rather irritably, narrowing her eyes so that I could see the purple mascara coating them, her ruby red lips pursed, " I shall impart the knowledge of the number 3 onto you. " I soon found myself in a classroom setting, Lady Eris standing in front of a blackboard with a pointer on 3 large words written in chalk: THE RULES OF THREE AND FIVE. "Are you ready to begin your lesson?"
"Yes ma'am!" I said, sitting up as straight as I could, ready to jot down notes.
"Now then," saith the Goddess. "As you know, the Rule of 5s state that Discordians such as yourself see the number 5 in everything. Is this correct?"
"Yes."
"Do you know why?" Oh boy, now she was testing my mind grapes.
"No." I answered honestly.
"The Rule, or Law of 5s, exists because you perceive it to be true." Eris said as she turned around to write on the board ( my thoughts as I watched her do so are both inappropriate to post here and irrelevant to the discussion) and drew a small diagram to illustrate the point. "The same goes for the number 3. You perceive things in groups of 3 and 5 because you see past material illusion. " She turned around and tapped the center of her forehead to indicate the pineal gland. To demonstrate, she picked up the Apple of Discord and placed it directly in front of me, on top of my notes. "Tell me, Renegade, what do you see in front of you?"
"The Apple of Discord, what else would it be?" I answered like the smartass I was. That earned me a whack across the face from the pointer. Eris glared at me again, biting her lower lip to keep from screaming in rage. I immediately wisened up and looked closer at the Apple. Sure, it resembled an ordinary apple at first glance, albeit a golden one with ' Kallisti' inscribed into it. If I looked closer, however, I could see it divided into three parts: the body, the stem, and the leaf. Observing it even closer yielded a further result. Kallisti. Kal-li-sti. Three syllables. Now I understood. Leaning down to face me, the Goddess and I locked eyes.
"Now do you understand? The Rules of 3s and 5s are similar, yet different. The differences are superficial and irrelevant. What matters is the perception."
" Like how neither subjective or objective truth are the same, only two halves of capital-T Truth?" I immediately found myself pulled into a loving embrace by my Goddess.
"You've got it, darling!" she cheered. "You've got it with flying colors!" She kissed me passionately, and I kissed her. When that was said and done, she departed from me, our meetup over.
I left with my first real understanding of Truth.
-----fnord-----
THE HONEST TRUTH ABOUT DICHOTOMIES
QuoteAll statements are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense. -Principia Discordia
From birth, we are taught to see the world in certain ways - good vs. evil, Republicans vs. Democrats, Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla, etc. and scooby dooby doo. However, Discordianism's central tenet is to ask the question, "What is, exactly, the Truth, of the world?" And much like the Rule of 3s, it can be boiled down to this.
There is order, which is known as Aneristic Truth.
There is also Disorder, known as Eristic Truth.
Both are mere illusions; there is neither order or disorder, for both are dual aspects of Chaotic Truth.
Now, this doesn't give you the right to, say, set the local portapotty on fire or stalk one's ex; you're still gonna get in trouble for those. Discordianism is not about needless violence nor is it about trying to keep order even when doing so is counterproductive to safety or wellbeing. Eris is a playful anarchist; essentially she's the non-malicious internet troll or shitposter. She gets reactions out of people, whether it's laughter, confusion, or confused laughter. She loves anyone and everyone, even her supposed enemies. She does have her standards, however, and ensures that her followers don't go too far in their mischief making.
The relationship between the three kinds of truth are best illustrated in the Sacred Chao, a symbol in Discordianism much like the familiar yin yang of Taoism. Instead of yin and yang, however, we Discordians have Hodge and Podge.
The Golden Apple is representative of Eristic Truth, the idea that there can only be disorder and anarchy in the commonly understood (and is in fact, misunderstood if one actually studies anarchism in depth) sense. The Pentagon represents Aneristic Truth, the idea that there can only be order and rules. The Chao in the middle represents a duality - that order and disorder not only need each other, but are mere illusions in the grand scheme of things. Jello Biafra, in his 2000 Address to the U.S. Green Party, sums up the idea behind the Sacred Chao and dichotomies aptly:
QuoteI am an anarchist in my personal life. I try to live my life in a way that I don't need cops or baby-sitters to keep me from infringing on others. But I don't feel we have evolved far enough as a species to make anarchy work in society itself. We still need government to transfer the wealth from those who have too much to those who have too little, to make sure important projects get done, and keep territorial humans from screwing over and killing each other.
So that is the true intent behind Discordianism: do as you please (within reason), and live the best damn life you can; who cares about what others think? The Goddess Herself doesn't, and that's OK! She'll still love you no matter what.
-----fnord-----
THE FIVE PRINCIPLES OF DISCORDIA, OR, THE PENTABARF
I figured we should finish this chapter off by outlining the basic rules of Discordianism which its followers are simultaneously are supposed to follow and disobey at their leisure. It is also known as the Pentabarf.
There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm.
A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System.
A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Roman Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).
A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub.
A Discordian is Prohibited from Believing What he reads.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk. Hail Discordia!
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Introduction
by
Renegade the Unicorn, Holy Pope Whatchoo Lookin' At, Lord of the Dancin' Fools, Self-proclaimed Idiot, And Many Other Titles
You. Yeah, you. Lookin' at the words on this screen. Have you ever felt...lonely in your life? Like nothing really just doesn't work out for you? Like there's more than just this mundane existence? Like there's a pack of rabid wolverines in your pants gnawing vigorously at your lower half? (I am not sorry about that, by the way; I put them there to get your attention.) Well, boy howdy, do I have the solution to all your problems
except the rabid wolverines, you might want to call animal control right about now. Oh, and get your rabies shots as soon as possible.And that answer is...drumroll p!ease..
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DISCORDIANISM! HAIL LADY ERIS! FNORD!
Sorry about that. But yes. Discordianism is (and also is not) the solution to all your problems. But what is Discordianism? To put it in terms your unenlightened mind can understand, think of it as Zen Buddhism infused with the counterculture of the 1960s (the primary holy text, the Principia Discordia, was first published in 1965), conspiracy theories that may or may not be true (or both at once), and humor. After all, humanity takes itself far too seriously; we need a faith that allows us to reject dogma and see the sheer insanity of the world around us.
And that is where I come in - having recently embraced Lady Eris as my Goddess, I intend to use this blog to dissect the Erisian faith as a whole (alive if need be), how to apply Discordianism to oneself (make sure you use nonstick cooking spray), and ultimately encourage discussion about the world stage as it is now. As was said by Malaclypse the Younger in his interview with the Greater Poop:
"Sometimes I take humor seriously. Sometimes I take seriousness humorously. Either way, it is irrelevant."
And with that, I take my leave. I hope you'll enjoy this experiment in literature as much as I will, and don't forget to tip your waitresses.
Fnord.
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Encouraged by @jjsthekid to find my writing "spark" once again and the kind words of @Steel Sponge as well as @4EverGreen, I'm using this year to start work on not one, but two new works: one a traditional meta lit (that actually will be written this time) entitled The Sims: SBC Stories, and in a possible first for the site, a work of nonfiction - The Godspell According to Renegade: How I Found (Dis)Enlightenment Through Postmodern Zen Buddhism, which is a mix of satire, religious text, autobiography, and tract on my experiences embracing the "joke disguised as a religion, and religion disguised as a joke" known as Discordianism. I've started the work itself on MLP Forums, and plan to publish chapters both here and there simultaneously.
Stay tuned, true believers.
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I just wanted to say thanks.
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On 1/14/2020 at 12:20 PM, Old Man Jenkins said:
I think it actually looks pretty decent. I liked this trailer more than the Venom one at least, and the references to MCU elements like Spider-Man being damned by the public as a murderer and Vulture popping up definitely are eye catchers (tho I'm sure Vulture appearing has more to do with building towards Sinister Six than anything). I'm a mark for Marvel's more supernatural side of things (plus I'm speaking as a 90s Spider-Man cartoon fan and Morbius was one of my favorites on it), so hopefully this doesn't disappoint. Venom turned out better for me than I thought it would, so hopefully this does too.
damn, you took the words right out of my mouth, Jenks. Well said.
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aw shit
here we go again
Look, I grew up (as many of us did) during Iraq; my mom's stepdad even served during both the Gulf War and Iraq (and has PTSD as a result, thank you very fucking much, bush). Looks like history's gonna repeat itself because El Presidente didn't learn from the past.
I may not be the most political or even qualified to get drafted because of my cerebral palsy, but I sure as hell ain't gonna stand by idly. #NoWarWithIran #AllYouNeedIsLove
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CEREBUS THE AARDVARK
After an unexpected nine month hiatus (primarily due to real life tragedies in my end), Cerebus will be returning to SBC with brand new adventures! Coming soon!
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Greetings all. Renegade the Unicorn here. So, where do I start? Well, taking a page from @Merry Christmas Harry and @Happy Hanukkah Marv, I'm gonna start my own music review thread on SBC. Unlike Wumbo and Claps, though, I'm not going to be reviewing stuff from the Billboard charts exclusively. Rather, I'm taking more of a broad approach and looking at my favorite periods of music history: the 50s to the late 1960s. Starting from Chuck Berry's "Maybeline" and ending at Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, I'm here to take you on a field trip from Elvis to the dawn of psychedelic rock, from Memphis to Britain and beyond. From the well-known to the obscure, the greats and the absolute turds, this is my comprehensive and sometimes biased history of rock and roll.
First thing soon, let's look at the roots of rock, the debates of the first rock and roll record, and Chuck Berry's first single, "Maybeline".
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Here's "Can You Take Me Back" from the White Album sessions, included in the 2018 50th anniversary edition.
Honestly? I kinda like it. Macca's vocals and simple guitar are beautifully haunting.
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Bump! Here's a demo of "I'll Follow the Sun" dating from 1960.
It's actually interesting to hear it as an upbeat rocker rather than a folksy ballad!
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"Land of a Thousand Dances" - Wilson Pickett
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I loved the first Wonder Woman (it's my favorite of the DCEU films) so this trailer has me hyped.
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"Say, here in the dark? Would you, could you, in the dark?"
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"Would you, could you, with a goat?
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" I WOULD NOT, COULD NOT, WITH A GOAT! "
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"Ambrosia Parsley" -Ween
easily their best imitation of Prince they ever did.
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Put my banana in your fruit basket, and I'll be satisfied.
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37 minutes ago, 4EverGreen said:
which includes a bunch of songs that are NOT 'Just' "Whip It" and their cover of "Satisfaction"! Enough said!
" Girl U Want " is probably my favorite by Devo next to ",Uncontrollable Urge" and " Secret Agent Man".
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Power Rangers: Multiverse Mayhem
Maybe like a dark ride/coaster hybrid.
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Currently writing lyrics for my song "Til Death Do Us Part", inspired by the 1970s lesbian vampire horror film The Blood-Spattered Bride (if you love 70s exploitation flicks and foreign films, I highly recommend it).
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Epitaph and Apple Records are my go-to choices for favorite labels.
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Discovered this group on Bandcamp earlier today, and after going through their entire discography, all I can say is...wow. Pure, unadulterated British Invasion -style power pop at its finest. I know @Paul McCartney, @Mr. Kite, hell, maybe even @Sweat and @Wumbo, would love this group. Are they original? Certainly not, but they are damn fine at what they do, and they need more love.
The Godspell According to Renegade: How I Found (Dis)Enlightenment Through Postmodern Zen Buddhism
in Davy Jones' Locker
Posted
On Prayer and Meditation
For today's entry in the Godspell, I want to discuss prayer and meditation, and how it relates to Discordianism. The concept of prayer is defined as "a solemn request for help or expression of thanks addressed to God or an object of worship." Therefore, one should (theorectically) pray to Goddess Herself whenever possible, right?
AHAHAHAHAHAHA. WRONG. Let me clarify something for ya: Eris has better things to do than to listen to her cosmic voicemail all day, going through each little prayer, whether they be actually important or not. Now, I'm not discouraging you from praying to Eris outright; in fact, I strongly believe that prayer is a powerful force and can accomplish miracles if done correctly. However, to pray constantly and for every single thing is not only foolish, but dangerous. Malaclypse the Younger explains thusly in the Principia Discordia:
See, here's a little known fact/belief about prayer, at least in my opinion: it's a ritualized form of chaos magick, one that has (in one form or another) been connected to religion since prehistoric times. It is inherently connected to the eldritch and cosmic forces of the universe, and should therefore be approached cautiously and with a solid idea of what the hell you're doing. That is why we Discordians seldom pray to Our Lady: it can be freely abused and have disastrous consequences. So if you really want to pray to Eris, make sure it's damn important enough for her to hear.
So, if prayer is out of the question, and you do want to show devotion to Eris, then what do you do? The answer can be summed up in one word: meditation.
Even when Eris isn't communicating directly with you via pineal gland, her presence can still be felt everywhere and anywhere. Yes, even in your bedroom and bathroom. Don't ask - she just likes to watch.
ANYWAYS.
Considering Discordianism's roots in Buddhist and Hindu practices, it really shouldn't come as a surprise that meditation is more viable than direct prayer like in organized religion. Meditation allows us to grow closer to Goddess and therefore Chaos itself. It also provides an eased state of mind and body, perfect for those with anxiety and a lack of focus like myself.
So without further ado about nothing, here's a five step guide to meditation!
-----fnord-----
Clear your mind, and get into the lotus position. Maybe put on some relaxing meditation music.
Focus on a specific mantra; mine is "There is no Goddess but Goddess, and She is my Goddess. Hail Lady Eris. Hail Discordia. Fnord." You can also use Zen koans or even the classic "Aum/Om"
Close your eyes.
Breathe in and out.
Do all these steps for between 10 and 23 minutes per day, 3-5 times a day.
-----fnord-----
Should you follow all these steps, you should feel a tingly feeling throughout your body, and the feeling of your soul connecting to the rest of the universe, if only for those briefest of moments. You'll end up feeling more relaxed, sharp-minded, and have a deeper understanding of the cosmos.
Join me next time as I discuss the story of my conversion to the Erisian faith, what Discordianism can mean to you (yes, you), and the conspiracy theories all around us.