[Trump Vs. The World?: The 2020 Election Thread]

The debate was an absolute dumpster fire, and everyone I've seen online seems to agree; it doesn't give very many high hopes for this election, and only solidifies my intent to vote Jo Jorgensen.

[Fanfiction Reruns]

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“Duck Dodgers. Some call him a hero, a savior, and an inspiration. Others call him a coward, an egotist, and a fool. All of these things are true, to an extent. I would know. I spent a few years alongside Dodgers, observing him and recording his actions.

 

I suppose I should recount when he first emerged into the Imperium at large. He was found deep underground on Holy Terra by a group of Tech-Priests, all of whom were in the middle of some ritual. They had discovered the cryopod containing Dodgers, and were praying to the machine spirit inside, when one of them managed to press the button that thawed him. He was brought out of cryosleep, quite confused and demanding to know where he was. The Tech-Priests nearly shot him for, in their view, defiling a machine with his presence inside.

 

After a few months of paperwork, shouting matches, tangled bureaucratic dealings, and violence, Duck Dodgers was given the same privileges as a Rogue Trader. Meaning, he was given a ship that was equipped with a Warp drive and came with a small crew, and sent away from Terra, so the High Lords did not have to deal with him anymore.

 

One member of that crew was me. Amberley Vail, Inquisitor of the Ordos Xenos, author of Ciaphas Cain’s memoirs, and subject of many a Guardsmen’s lewd fantasies. I went with Dodgers in order to keep an eye on him, because, despite how harmless he seemed, he was still an alien, and no one had any idea what he might do. At least, that was the official reason I went. The more personal reason was that I thought I saw the same spark of potential in Dodgers as I did in Ciaphas Cain so many years ago.

 

By the Emperor...I could not have been more wrong...”

 

- Inquisitor Amberley Vail, The Tale of Duck Dodgers: A Memoir.

 

The Inquisitor and the Duck

 

Inquisitor Amberley Vail cleared her throat, smoothing out the parchment in front of her and picking up an ink pen. "You know, I have seen many strange and unbelievable things." She said to the unusual figure sitting across from her. "But never anything quite as odd as a walking, talking duck."

 

The duck folded his arms, frowning. “You think I’m odd? Listen, toots, I woke up buried far beneath the earth in a cryogenics pod surrounded by cyborgs. See, that’s odd.” The duck, who was much shorter than Amberley at 3 ½ feet, looked at her with his large white eyes; he had no visible sclera, his pupils single black dots. His feathers were equally dark, his bill and feet bright orange; the only other distinguishing feature being the small white ring around his neck. “Now, you wanna tell me just what in Jones’ name is going on here? Because I need to go collect my money for that government experiment. Being frozen for who-knows-how-long ain’t free, ya know.”

 

“The ‘government’ you speak of no longer exists.” the Imperial Guardsman standing beside the duck informed him. “It’s a long-gone myth as far as we know.” The duck stared blankly at Amberley, his pupils having shrunk into near-nothingness.

 

“A-a-myth…?” he asked. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. Bugs...Lola….Tina...all of them were long-dead...it couldn’t be.

 

"What year was it when you entered the cryopod?" Amberley asked. The duck, or ‘Daffy’, as he preferred to be called, put a finger to his beak in contemplation.

 

“...2014, I believe. Yeah, that’s it. 2014.” Daffy answered after a minute or two.

 

Amberley stared at him for several seconds. "By the Emperor…"

 

Daffy blinked. “What? Was it something I said?” No immediate response. “Yoo-hoo, Blondie?” Daffy snapped his fingers in front of Amberley’s face. Still no response.

 

"Guardsman...what is the current year?"

 

“953.M41, Inquisitor.”

 

Daffy blinked. “....So, almost 38,000 years have passed?” He paused. “Wow, I’m better at math than I thought.”

 

The Guardsman joined Amberley in staring at Daffy now. “By the Emperor indeed, Inquisitor. This...this duck...he’s from the Age of Terra.”

 

"You're a living relic." Amberley said. "The oldest technology in the Imperium comes from the Dark Age, but no humans from that era still live. Technology older than that is unheard of. But a piece of tech from the Age of Terra, in addition to a living being…"

 

“Then we have a very rare find.” the Guardsman concluded.

 

“Hey, buddy, what’s your name?” Daffy interrupted.

 

“McKimson. Guardsman McKimson.”

 

“Alrighty then, McKimson, let me get this straight: I’m some kinda relic to you weirdos? Then why’d those cyborg guys try to kill me when they activated the pod?”

 

“Because to the tech-priests you were ‘desecrating the machine spirit’.” McKimson answered, then laughed a bit. “Wait till the cogboys hear about this…”

 

"Tech-priests of the Adeptus Mechanicus." Amberley explained. "They dwell on Mars, and are the ones who keep the technology of the Imperium running. They're also fanatically religious, and tend to kill people who, intentionally or not, meddle with their work. They worship machines, believing that they all have spirits, which must be revered."

 

Daffy blinked, and nodded to act like he understood (which he honestly didn’t). “So they tried killing me because I was in the pod?” Daffy’s eyes darted up, as if he were pondering again. “That explains the ‘you dare violate the will of the Omnissiah, xeno!’ bit they were screaming at me.”

 

"Xenos in general tend not to be treated kindly by the Imperium." Amberley said. "At best, they are tolerated."

 

“Like you are right now.” McKimson added.

 

"Calling the Fabricator-General of the Mechanicus a 'cyborg freak' hasn't done you any favors." Amberley continued.

 

“....Again, he tried to kill me. Do I keep having to repeat myself!? And besides, didn’t your friend just call ‘em ‘cogboys’? If you ask me, that’s way more offensive.”

 

"The High Lords still might try to kill you." Amberley replied.

 

“....Who?”

 

"The governing council of the Imperium. The Fabricator-General is one of them."

 

“...Oh, poo.” Daffy muttered.

 

"As an Inquisitor, I don't report to the High Lords, so I am free to ignore any commands to hand you over. But they have other ways of having you killed. So, I have come up with a solution."

 

“What kind of a solution?” Daffy asked.

 

"You'll become a Rogue Trader, a conquistador, freelance explorer and merchant working for the Imperium of Man. You'll be given a ship, crew, and an Imperial Warrant of Trade granting you the full privileges of such a station. Being a Rogue Trader will take you beyond the borders of the Imperium, exploring unknown worlds. In your task of exploring and exploiting the still-uncharted regions of the galaxy for Mankind, you might come across worlds harbouring long-forgotten human civilisations which will be later incorporated into the Imperium by official Adeptus Mechanicus Explorator fleets and expeditions of the Imperial Navy and Astra Militarum. Other times, you may find empty or alien-dominated planets ripe for colonisation, conquest or exploitation by the Imperium -- and yourself. Being a Rogue Trader comes with risk and grave danger, but it can also lead to immense wealth and glory. So, what do you say? Will you accept this opportunity?" 

 

Daffy responded by his eyes briefly turning into dollar signs; McKimson and Amberley could hear a loud ‘cha-ching!’ from nowhere.“You had me at ‘wealth and glory’.”

 

Deciding to ignore the unusual occurrence, Amberley nodded and got up. "Splendid. Your ship is waiting for you. Follow me, please." Daffy followed behind her, giddy as could be.

 

“Rich...I’m gonna be rich…!” he kept muttering to himself.

 

"Have all the crewmembers reported in?" Amberley asked McKimson.

 

“Yes, Inquisitor. Tell me, why is your retinue on the list?”

 

"If I am going to be venturing out into the unknown, I want people I trust watching my back."

 

“...You’re doing this to keep an eye on...what’s his name? I don’t think either you or I know it."

 

She nodded. "The last thing the Imperium needs is for him to go off on his own and cause problems. Now, aside from my retinue and the Guardsmen, who else is on the list?"

 

“....Ciaphas Cain, Inquisitor.”

 

She stopped dead in her tracks. "Ciaphas?"

 

McKimson nodded.

 

Amberley started walking again, trying to keep a smile off her face. "Anyone else?"

 

McKimson handed her the list. “See for yourself.”

 

Amberley looked it over, raising a brow. "Are those Martian names?" She asked incredulously.

 

McKimson blinked. “...Yes. Ciaphas figured that they would serve as menial labor.”

 

"Indeed. I was just surprised to see Martian names on here, considering the Imperium has largely ignored their presence."

 

“They’re beneath notice?” Daffy suddenly appeared between them, causing McKimson to loudly curse.

 

“EMPEROR’S GOLDEN BALLSACKS, WHERE’D YOU COME FROM!?”

 

“Weeeell, when a mommy duck and a daddy duck love each other very much, or at the very least want to bang without protection…”

 

"You're lucky you weren't shot." Amberley said. "McKimson tends to shoot first and ask questions later."

 

“Remember last time, Inquisitor?” McKimson said.

 

"When I startled you, and you nearly blew my head off?"

 

“I was aiming for your tits, Inquisitor.” McKimson joked.

 

"So does Ciaphas." Amberley said dryly. "Except he uses a different weapon."

 

“That’s what she said.” Daffy interjected, McKimson giving him a quirked brow. “....You wouldn’t get it.”

 

They soon arrived at the ship. It was a small, nimble vessel, named The Emperor's Eye. Daffy immediately settled in the Captain’s chair, but not before noticing that someone was already sitting there: a large, muscled fellow, dressed in rather fancy military garb. “Ah, Commissar Cain!” McKimson greeted. “I trust you’re being accommodated well?”

 

"Ciaphas!" Amberley interjected, walking over to him. "It's been too long."

 

“Get out of my chair.” Daffy muttered under his breath, before he suddenly felt himself thrown off from Ciaphas getting up and embracing Amberley.

 

“I’ve missed you as well, Amberley. When I was told to accompany you on this…’mission’, I had no idea what to expect. Now, where is this new Captain I’ve been hearing about?”

 

“Right here…” Daffy said weakly, still trying to recover from the sudden impact of hitting the floor.

 

"He is...unusual." Amberley said, kissing Ciaphas' cheek. "In more ways than one."

 

“A lot like myself.” Ciaphas said. “It’s nice to meet you, Captain.”

 

“...Duck. Daffy Duck.” Immediately, Ciaphas burst out laughing. Hard. Amberley tried valiantly, but she couldn't resist joining him in laughter. “What? What’s so funny?” Daffy said bitterly. “It’s not like any of you have normal names, except McKimson over there.”

 

After composing herself, Amberley cleared her throat. "Apologies, Captain. Shall we disembark?" She asked, gesturing for him to sit in his chair.

 

“If you want. Me, I’m gonna go see if there’s a bathroom in this place. ..Where is it?”

 

“Down the hall, take a right. The lock is broken so knock.” McKimson informed. Daffy nodded and sped off.

 

“He’s unusual, isn’t he?” Ciaphas asked. “I like him already, though.”

 

Before Amberley could say a word, a scream echoed through the ship, followed by several laspistol shots. She winced. "Oh, dear. Rakel was using the bathroom." 

 

Daffy returned, his lower half blasted off and revealing the pink skin underneath his tail feathers, complete with tightey whiteys. “....I didn’t knock.” he admitted sheepishly.

 

"That was Rakel you just walked in on." Amberley said. "She's...a little insane."

 

“A little insane?” Ciaphas muttered. “That’s putting it lightly.”

 

Amberley turned to the bridge crew. "Prepare to disembark."

 

A few minutes later, they were in the air. Amberley turned to Ciaphas. "Commissar Cain, I think you and I have...important matters to discuss. Care to join me in my quarters?"

 

“Indeed.” Ciaphas said with a smirk. “A...debriefing, as it were.” And with that, the two of them disappeared from sight, leaving Daffy to finally be able to sit in his coveted captain’s chair.

 

Barely thirty seconds later, Rakel walked onto the bridge, glaring at Daffy and muttering, "Wretched bird."

 

“Look, I’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot, mmkay? How’s about we start over? Captain Daffy Sheldon Armando Horatio Tiberius Duck at your service, madame.”

 

Rakel looked at McKimson. "Can I pluck him?"

 

“Unfortunately not, Rakel. Sorry.” McKimson shrugged.

 

She frowned, before asking, "Do you have any chocolate? Riding the waves of other's minds is tiring."

 

“Chocolate? I think there’s some in the kitchens.” McKimson said, leading her away. With a sigh of relief, Daffy decided it was time for a nap.

 

Sometime later, Ciaphas and Amberley were doing some post-coital cuddling when the two of them heard soft mewling coming from between the bedsheets. Ciaphas pulled the blankets away to reveal a tiny black and white kitten. Chuckling, he scooped it up. “Oh, hello there little Pussyfoot. How did you get in here?”

 

“Mew!” the kitten responded happily.

 

"I didn't even know there were any cats aboard." Amberley said.

 

“She’s mine. Jenit Sulla gave her and her parents to me.” Ciaphas informed. “I tried telling her, ‘You know I have a pet already, and I certainly can’t give them to Amberley. The male cat will eat that little Tweety Bird of hers.’”

 

"In my spare time, I've taken to raising hawks." Amberley said. "But I can't do that aboard a ship, so this little bird will have to do." Ciaphas stared at the golden birdcage hanging above them, where the small yellow canary was happily swinging from his perch and humming. Amberley stretched, getting out of bed and putting on a robe.

 

"It's nice to be able to relax." She said, sitting in front of a mirror and beginning to brush her hair. "We don't get to do it often."

 

“We really don’t.” Ciaphas replied, slowly petting Pussyfoot and feeling the kitten purr in his hands. “I’m hoping we can stay out of the action for as long as possible with this assignment.”

 

Amberley nodded in agreement. "We should go make sure our new Captain hasn't gotten into any trouble." Ciaphas nodded, exiting the room and briefly making a detour to his own quarters, where he was rooming with his loyal right hand Fenrik Jurgen and his five pets - one dog (Marc Anthony) and three cats (Penelope, Sylvester, and their kittens Pussyfoot and Sylvester Jr.). Ciaphas walked in and gently put Pussyfoot on the floor, where she ran up to her mama joyfully. Marc Anthony, a large brown bulldog, almost tackled Ciaphas over in joy. Sylvester had been happily napping when he was woken by all the noise, irritably opening one eye and muttering, “Sufferin’ succatash, can’t a guy get his 40 winks around here?” (though no human could understand his speech). Slyvester Jr., a slightly older kitten and a spitting image of his father, was playing with a ball of yarn.

 

"Am I going to be babysitting them the whole time we're on this ship, Commissar?" Jurgen asked.

 

“We agreed to this earlier, Jurgen - yes.” Ciaphas answered. “Besides, they like you in spite of your odor...well, most of...wait, no. Only Pussyfoot likes you in spite of your odor.” Ciaphas stared at Sylvester. “Besides, I trust you to keep old Slyv here away from Amberley’s bird.” The tomcat ‘innocently’ looked at them; Ciaphas responded with his expression hardening.

 

Amberley walked in a moment later. "I have good news and bad news." She said. "The good news: The ship isn't on fire. The bad news: The Captain is nowhere to be found, and Rakel is walking around the ship with her laspistol, a knife, and a dangerous gleam in her eyes."

 

“Oh, Emperor dammit. Jurgen, come with me.” He then turned to Marc Anthony. “Keep watch, M.A..” The bulldog briefly saluted-yes, saluted-and sat, unmoving, by the doorway. Ciaphas followed Amberley, Jurgen not far behind. They found Rakel pacing around the kitchen, searching through drawers and cupboards. “Where is the Captain?” Ciaphas asked, using his ‘Commissar’ voice.

 

"Hiding." She said in reply. "I see him, but I don't know where he is. His mind is...cluttered. Full of thoughts. Wash over me like waves."

 

"Rakel." Amberley said gently. "Please, give me the knife."

 

Rakel did. The presence of Jurgen was making her twitchy. Amberley led her out of the room. 

 

"I know she is useful to the Inquisitor." Jurgen said. "But she's creepy."

 

“Some could say the same about you, Jurgen. No offense.”

 

Jurgen snorted and said, "None taken, Commissar."

 

Amberley, meanwhile, was searching for Daffy. She soon found him, in the Warp engine room, curled up on the ground and visibly shaking. His eyes were wide and bloodshot, and he was babbling nonsense, punctuated with an occasional ear-splitting “WOO-HOO, WOO-HOO, WOO-HOO!”

 

"Captain." She said. "It's me. You're safe."

 

“Tina…?” Daffy asked.

 

Amberley frowned. She had only thought in passing about how traumatizing this whole experience would be. "No." She said softly. "It's Amberley."

 

Daffy briefly snapped out of it. “A-Amberley? What’s going on? Where am I?”

 

"You're currently in the engine room. You were hiding from Rakel. Why did she attack you?"

 

“I was settling down for a nap in the captain’s chair. As I do, I see Rakel coming towards me...and then the rest is a blank.”

 

"Strange. Rakel is rarely violent. She can handle herself well in a fight, but it's unusual for her to try and murder someone unprovoked." Amberley replied.

 

“Any reason why she’d attack me like that? I mean, we got off on the wrong foot earlier, but still.”

 

"I will speak with her." Amberley said. "I'll be back in a few minutes. Stay here, and try to calm down a bit, alright?" 

 

She left, leaving Daffy alone. Well, almost alone. Yanbel, a tech priest in Amberley's retinue, was there as well, dutifully maintaining the Warp drive. The duck blinked and said, “Hey, cogboy. How’s it going?”

 

Yanbel sighed. "You've been hanging around McKimson, haven't you?"

 

“Yep.” Daffy said matter-of-factly.

 

The techpriest sighed again, returning to his work. “So, buddy, whaddya do around here?”

 

"I keep the Warp drive from failing." Yanbel said. "Among other things." Just as quickly as he’d asked, Daffy lost interest and began reading a porno slate he’d found on the ground. Amberley soon returned.

 

"Rakel said that she doesn't know why she went after you." She said. "Only that she felt a sudden burst of violent rage. She doesn't know the cause."

 

“Any reason I blacked out?”

 

"That is also a mystery."

 

“Hm. Got any psychiatrists?”

 

"Any what?"

 

“Shrinks. Head doctors.”

 

Amberley stared at him blankly. “...I need someone to talk to about my problems.” Daffy said, realizing that ‘psychiatry’ as a concept was long-dead.

 

"I see."

 

“Got anyone like that?”

 

"Me." She said.

 

“....Oh.” Daffy frowned slightly.

 

"Is that a problem?" She asked. "I have helped the people in my retinue work through their issues many times."

 

“...Let me be level with ya: I miss my friends. I didn’t ask to get frozen-well I did, but that isn’t the point, see. Point is, all my friends are dead.”

 

She nodded. "I thought as much. How long were you supposed to be asleep?"

 

Daffy tried to remember. “That,” he said, “Is gonna require me to go back to the very beginning.”

 

-------

 

To say that Daffy Duck was making a potentially stupid and/or dangerous decision for the sake of money was like saying water was wet. But this was probably the stupidest decision he was making, as far as Bugs Bunny was concerned. Daffy had recently gotten, in his emails, an offer to volunteer in a government cryogenics experiment - “Pays well,” the email read, “and provides beneficial research for humanity.”

 

“Sounds like a scam email. Or somethin’ containing malware. Or probably not what yer thinkin’, Daff.” Bugs said in his usual deadpan tone whenever he found out about Daffy’s latest moneymaking plan.

 

“Oh, phshaw. You wouldn’t know a new opportunity for cash if it bit you in the tail, rabbit.” Daffy said dismissively.

 

“Oh, really? Look, Daffy, all I’m sayin’ is to be careful, you might get more than ya bargained for.”

 

“Whatever you say! I’m gonna be rich, RICH I TELL YA!”

 

Not long afterwards, Daffy entered the building that the email said to arrive at. It was white-blinding white, actually-and sterile. Like a hospital. The doctor who’d met Daffy at the front office was fat, dressed in a labcoat with bright yellow latex gloves, with a mop of curly red hair. “Mr. Duck, this is Dr. IQ High. He’ll be overseeing you for this experiment.” his assistant informed. Daffy stared at the doctor before cracking his knuckles.

 

“Alrighty there, doc.” Daffy chuckled a bit; he was starting to sound more and more like Bugs every day. “Just tell me what I gotta do.” Probably just some blood tests or something, Daffy thought. “How long’s this gonna take? I have a meatball sub and fries waiting for me at Pizzariba.”

 

Dr. High chuckled. "I am afraid your food might be cold by the time the experiment is finished." He said. "Not too long, though, my feathered friend. Only a few hours. This experiment is simply a test to make sure my machine works."

 

Daffy blinked. “Y-your machine?”

 

"A state-of-the-art cryogenics pod, created for the purpose of putting whoever is inside into a state of suspended animation. In other words, it is meant to put them into a deep sleep, while also preventing them from aging."

 

Daffy looked at the pod - a stainless steel cylinder, chrome in coloration, a small glass door covering the majority of it. After running a few tests, IQ High’s assistant led him to the pod, where the door swung open. Daffy took a deep breath and entered, watching the door close and feeling the temperature from within drop quickly to below zero levels.

 

What was supposed to be a few hours turned into days, then months, then years, then centuries, and finally eons. When Daffy was finally released, the facility, hell, Warnerville itself, no longer existed, now it was but a single piece in the ever expanding hives of Holy Terra.

 

-----

 

By the time Daffy was finished, his voice was barely above a whisper. “...You wanna know something? This is the only thing I have left from all that time.” He retrieved a sheet of paper, apparently a letter, and gave it to Amberley. Evidently, Daffy had nothing nice to say about any of his neighbors; it was full of grievances both real and possibly imagined. Except, however, for the last paragraph: “I know I've said a lot of terrible things about a lot of terrible people. But I've saved the terrible-ist for my girlfriend Tina. I've known many deranged people in my life, but I've never encountered the kind of profound mental instability that she possesses. Tina Russo is a psychopath. She may have everyone else fooled, but I know the truth. Why else would the kindest, most beautiful, generous and intelligent woman in the world...go out with someone like me?"

 

"I'm sorry." Amberley whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder. Daffy turned to her, tears in his eyes.

 

“You barely know me. Why are you sorry?”

 

"I've lost people. People who were dear to me." Amberley said. "I've lost my home, too. I know your pain." Daffy pondered this for a few minutes, unsure of what to say. Finally, he placed a hand on Amberley’s shoulder in return.

 

“You know, I think we’re gonna be great friends already.”

 

“Me, too.” Amberley said, right before an alarm began blaring. She rushed up to the bridge, looking out one of the windows to see what was going on. Her eyes widened.

 

“By the Emperor…” She whispered. They were surrounded by a mass of ships, all of which almost looked...alive. “Tyranids…”

 

“Who the what now?” Daffy asked, bemused.

 

“Are the cloaking shields engaged?” Amberley asked aloud to the crew. She sounded terrified. "If that Hive Fleet detects us, we're dead."

 

“Yes, Inquisitor!” several Guardsmen confirmed.

 

"Tyranids are often referred to as 'the Great Devourer.'" Amberley said to Daffy. "They are hunger incarnate. Every world they encounter, they strip bare, leaving behind a lifeless rock. Their endless desire to feast is the only thing that motivates them, so there is no negotiation."

 

“What’re we gonna do!?” Daffy asked, absolutely terrified.

 

"Try to avoid being noticed." Amberley said. "If our cloaking shields hold, they shouldn't find us."

 

“.....You know, you shouldn’t say things like that. Bad things…” Daffy began, but was interrupted by sound of the shields falling. “...tend to happen after.” he finished, pupils shrunken and voice squeaking from terror.

 

"Oh, fuck." Amberley whispered, as several Tyranid ships changed course, heading towards them. Daffy proceeded to scream like a little girl and run. Amberley took the helm, and began trying to evade the Tyranids. She turned on the intercom. 

 

"Guardsmen, Sisters of Battle, to your battlestations." She said. In the ship's medbay, a Sister of the Orders Hospitaller, named Lucia, rose from her place by one of the windows, grabbing her personal bolter rifle and chain sword and heading for the door. Celeste, a fellow Sister, joined her.

 

"Tyranids. That means acid burns." Lucia said. "Things will get messy. Are you ready?"

 

“Ready as I’ll ever be. For glory and the Emperor and all that, yes?”

 

Lucia chuckled. "Indeed." And so, screaming the Emperor’s praises, the two of them charged into battle. Dozens of Tyranids poured into the vessel from the points where it had been snagged by the Hive ships. Amberley handed control of the ship over to one of the pilots before rushing to her quarters to don her armor. That left poor Daffy cowering behind a hastily made barricade of chairs and shelves. As he lay there trembling and muttering prayers to Elohim for a quick and hopefully merciful death, Daffy could see something creeping forward. It was big. Very big, and multilimbed, judging from the shadow it gave off.

 

This creature soon came into the light. It was massive, with a white and black carapace, towering over even the tallest of Guardsmen. It had four long, muscled arms, ending in clawed, bony hands, each of which held a sword. Its head, topped with a long, red crest, had jet-black eyes and a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth. This creature was known by many names: the Tyrantlord of the Hive Mind, the Herald of the Great Devourer and the Destroyer of the Kha'la Empire. To mankind, it was the Swarmlord, and anyone who saw it felt terror unlike anything they had ever felt before.

 

And now Daffy was alone with it. The duck, who had just moments ago been praying for his life, looked at the Swarmlord, his brain racing to find a solution. “L-listen, buddy, you don’t have to eat me, ya know.” he said, voice trembling even more than before. “I-I-I don’t have much meat on me anyway.” As if to demonstrate, Daffy ‘unzipped’ his feathers to reveal the same pink body underneath from earlier, only now horribly emaciated. “See? Now if you and all your little bug-friends just leave me and my crew in peace, we won’t have any trouble...c-c-c-c-c-capiche?”

 

The Swarmlord began approaching, before being intercepted by two Guardsmen. Their shots glanced off the creature's armor, before two of the swords it held flashed through the air, and their heads slid off and rolled across the floor. Daffy stared, slack-jawed; thinking quickly as the Swarmlord got closer, its mandibles drooling acid and burning small holes into the floor, he drew a large wooden mallet, about the size of his foe, and swung with all of his strength. The Swarmlord staggered, more out of surprise than pain. Before it could recover fully, Amberley, dressed in gleaming armor, entered, a whirring chainsword in hand. “Boy, oh boy, am I glad to see you!” Daffy said between hyperventilating gasps. “Now let’s skeedaddle before that thing kills us!” Taking a nearby laspistol for himself, Daffy bolted for the door. Amberley put on a helmet, shut the door, and contacted Yanbel, ordering him to open the airlock on the bridge. 

 

"Inquisitor, you'll be pulled out, too!"

 

"I know, Yanbel. But the Swarmlord is here."

 

"The Swarmlord?! By the Omnissiah...fine, as you command, Inquisitor."

 

The airlock opened, and both Amberley and the Swarmlord were pulled out into space. “NOOOOOOO!” Daffy screamed as he pounded on the door. “YOU CAN’T DO THIS, AMBERLEY! I’VE ONLY KNOWN YOU FOR BARELY A DAY, YET I FEEL LIKE I’VE KNOWN YOU FOR LONGER THAN THAT!” Silence was his only response.

 

The Tyranids continued to rush onto the ship, the defenders slaying dozens upon dozens of them, to the point that a barricade began to form out of the dead. Lucia moved among the Guardsmen and Sisters, treating wounds the best she could. She and Celeste found Daffy crying, laspistol still gripped tightly in his right hand. “We need to go.” Celeste urged him. “It isn’t safe for you here.”

 

“B-but Amberley…”

 

“Inquisitor Vail has faced worse things.” Celeste said bluntly. “Besides, you are not the only one saddened by her loss.”

 

"She always has a plan." Lucia added. "Come on. You'll be no help to her if you're dead." Daffy followed them reluctantly, keeping close to them (and his laspistol close to him). A few minutes later, a faint voice came over the comms of the ship's defenders. "Hello? Can anyone hear me?"

 

“Amberley?” Daffy spoke up hopefully. “That you!?”

 

"Yes." She replied. "I'm injured, but alive."

 

“Praise the Lord, Hallelujah! Where are you?” Daffy asked.

 

"Hanging off of one of the Tyranid hooks."

 

“Stay put. I’m gonna try and get you out of there.”

 

“You’re an idiot.” Celeste snarked. “You’re going to get yourself killed out there, and for what?”

 

“I’ll tell ya what -” Daffy spat back. “Amberley saved my life from that Swarmlord or whatever you call it. I owe it to her to save hers, and as Captain of this ship, I order you to stand down.”

 

“On whose authority?” Celeste replied, hands on her hips. “You have none, duck.”

 

“Actually,” a nearby voice, that of one Ciaphas Cain, said. “As a Rogue Trader, his authority is outside of the Imperium’s. So he can order you to stand down. And I say he should go.”

 

“Thanks.” Daffy said, before Amberley interrupted them.

 

"While you idiots were arguing, I managed to get over to one of the airlocks. Care to let me in?"

 

“Stealin’ my thunder….I was wanting an awesome action hero moment….” Daffy grumbled.

 

“This is no holodrama, duck.” Ciaphas informed him. “Talking is not a free action, and the world will not give you leeway so you can stage a big rescue. Now, where are your coordinates, Amberley?”

 

"Right behind you." She said, thumping her fist on the airlock in question.

 

“Oh.” Ciaphas said sheepishly, then turned to Daffy. “Get that for her, will you?” Daffy nodded, and after a bit of difficulty, managed to open the airlock. Amberley stumbled in, her armor covered in blood. Daffy and Ciaphas let out impressed whistles. She took a few more steps before falling to her knees, grunting. 

 

Celeste caught her, and said, “You need rest, Inquisitor.”

 

“B-but the Tyranids….” Ciaphas sputtered.

 

"They're no longer a problem." Amberley said. "I broke the hooks myself. Tell the bridge crew to...initiate a Warp jump."

 

“A who-what now?” Daffy asked.

 

"You'll see." She replied, leaning on Celeste as they walked to her quarters. Immediately, Daffy felt himself lurch backward, slamming into a wall; he then proceeded to vibrate and spasm, letting out several inhuman noises (a rooster’s crow, the sound of a horn) as his body briefly mutated into several forms - a flower-headed creature with a flag reading “SCREWBALL” in rebus, a photorealistic duck, a smaller, ‘cuter’ form, and then back to his regular form. Ciaphas and Lucia watched in horror, all the while Daffy was hollering and hooting like a madman. Purple sparks of what most might call electricity (but what those in the Imperium might call Warp energy) coursed through him. Ciaphas rashly shot him in an irrational panic, which only seemed to cause Daffy’s beak to turn around to the back of his head rather than kill him. When the Warp jump ceased, Daffy came out of his episode rather groggy, tiredly putting his beak back in place, he stared at the Commissar and Sister of Battle.

 

“....What? Do I have something on me?”

Spoiler

First appearances: Daffy Duck (main character), Amberley Vail (main), Ciaphas Cain (main), Lucia (supporting), Celeste (supporting), Yanbel (supporting), Fenrik Jurgen (supporting), Guardsman McKimson (supporting), Rakel (supporting), Jennit Sulla (mentioned) Tweety (recurring), Sylvester (recurring), Marc Anthony (recurring), Penelope Pussycat (recurring), Pussyfoot (recurring), Sylvester Jr. (recurring), Tyranids (antagonists), The Swarmlord (antagonist), Marvin and Tyr'hanee (antagonists, not named)

In this continuity, Marc Anthony, Sylvester (Sr. and Jr.), Penelope Pussycat, and Pussyfoot are all Ciaphas Cain's pets; Tweety is also Amberley's pet, and Sylvester is Penelope's mate and father to Pussyfoot and Sylvester Jr.

-"The Looney Tunes Show" is canon, and Daffy is frozen in 2014 (the year the show ended). Dr. IQ High is also the one who froze Daffy rather than discovering him.

-While it's never said why Daffy was chosen for the experiment, it's implied that due to his service as a Marine (see "Semper Lie"), he was selected due to his actions in rescuing prisoners of war)

-Daffy's home city is given a name: Warnerville.

-Martians are canon to this universe, but are a species beneath the Imperium's notice; Marvin and Tyr'hanee are currently onboard posing as menial labor on The Emperor's Eye.

 

[Fanfiction Reruns]

Spoiler

Yes, Destiny

Captain Retro is on-screen. He narrates, and he says: “It has been roughly a month and a half since the Power Rangers Multiverse Force, teamed up with Legendary Rangers from the past, and brought Dr. Maniac's evil fortress crashing down on him, metaphorically speaking. Now, it is almost Valentines Day in the year 2179. In that time since the Power Rangers fought Dr. Maniac, BlackHawk and StarHawk have officially begun adjusting to being parents, with StarHawk learning how to be a mother to Aquila, and BlackHawk getting a job as a Camp Counselor at Camp Kidney. The new Thunder Rangers, Samson, Patsy, Coop, Krash'ir, and my older brother D.O.G., have begun to make use of their new powers, by mastering them in training sessions on the Simulation Planet, which is sure to come in handy once the Power Rangers must make their inevitable assault in the Nazi realm, which I cannot help them in. Usagi and Krash'ir, will often fight the various Youma that Queen Beryl sends after the population of Core Earth, together, proving that the family that fights evil together, stays together! Tommy went back to his own time to deal with Scorpina and Lokar, once and for all. Upon completing his mission, he announced his retirement from the “Power Rangers” squadron. The age of a new generation, having officially dawned on Core Earth. Naruto is trying as hard as ever to catch up to BlackHawk, hoping that his stubborn persistence will one day lead to him being able to become leader of the Power Rangers Multiverse Force again. After a fall-out, Lettuce and Pinkie Pie have now made up, determined to make their relationship work this time around, even without knowing all the possible pitfalls that might come ahead, they are determined to face it head-on. But FireHawk, however, still remains a mystery to me. What her motives are, or what her passion truly is, I cannot say for certain. Even MY powers of foresight cannot see into the riddle that she is. Whether her true goal turns out to be for good ends or for ill, that remains to be seen. Even though Dr. Maniac's body has been destroyed, I remain unconvinced that he is truly gone for good. It has been too quiet in the last month and a half. And Dr. Maniac's troops still remain loyal to him, and would certainly not go away without a plan to follow. I think Dr. Maniac ordered his troops to do something big for him, and that something may be revealed soon, especially since it is now OFFICIALLY Valentines Day, a perfect time for an evil plan to be put in motion.”

 

The camera pans around, to REVEAL that he's been saying all of this, to SCRAPPY-Doo! And Scrappy asks: “Why are you telling me all THIS for?!”

 

Captain Retro says: “First off, I wasn't JUST talking to you, I was talking to the GUARDIAN who has GRACIOUSLY decided to take you in as HIS avatar. Namely, the Rat Guardian, Templeton! You should realize how LUCKY you are, that Templeton took pity on you. The Dog Guardian would've left you to your OWN devices, since you've NEVER listened before, while any other Guardian—except for MAYBE Aslan if he IS somehow still around—would've LEFT you to rot in that Onyx Prison, without a modification to your sentence.”

 

Scrappy says: “First of all, whatever you MIGHT think of me, it's WRONG! I was NOT in that prison of Planet Onyx, because I did ANYTHING illegal! Onyx IS a planet FILLED with monsters and villains, lest YOU forget that important fact! I went to Planet Onyx, because I volunteered to be a test subject on an experimental rocket designed by Velma, that COULD fly 4,000 times faster than the speed of light! It was SUPPOSED to go to KO-35, but a rogue asteroid knocked it off course, and landed me on Planet Onyx, instead! Once I learned what Onyx was, I thought it would be a GREAT opportunity for ME, to show my friends back on Core Earth just how truly heroic I could be, by bringing in a BUNCH of evil criminals to justice, ALL by myself!”

 

Captain Retro nods, and he says: “Uh-huh. And how did THAT work out for you?!”

 

Scrappy sighs, and he says: “Not very well! Apparently, when you're only 2 feet 4 inches, your punches and kicks don't do diddly-squat on REAL monsters! Not to mention, they THREW me in jail only because they presented the judge with doctored photos and trumped-up charges of ME, disturbing the peace, assaulting them WITHOUT provocation, and JAYWALKING! Now, I might have done a LOT of things, but JAYWALKING was NOT one of them! They threw me in after a Kangaroo Court declared me guilty, and I had to sit in prison and stew until Templeton came to bail me out.”

 

Captain Retro says: “So, the live-action movie about the Scooby-Doo gang WASN'T completely true, then?”

 

Scrappy asks: “What do you mean?! WHAT live-action movie?!”

 

(One viewing of the 2002 “Scooby-Doo” movie later).

 

Scrappy does a spit-take, and he says: “I look and sound nothing LIKE that, those IDIOTS!!!! They took MY enthusiasm and passion for catching ghosts, and used it COMPLETELY out of context! Not to mention, the only reason I'm still short, is because of a genetic defect on my mother's side of the family, bless her heart. My sweet mother, Ruby-Doo, and all SHE had to go through, because she had to bear me out of wed-lock on her OWN, after her husband LEFT her!”

 

Captain Retro is STUNNED, and he says: “WOW! I had NO idea you WENT through that!”

Scrappy says: “That's why my mother thought it would be a GOOD idea for me to be with Scooby. She thought he would be a positive role-model in my life, as a surrogate father figure for the father I never REALLY had. And...I guess, maybe I came ON too strong. I just wanted to impress Scooby SO badly, that I never THOUGHT that I might have come across as annoying, or put myself in any danger. Maybe they just thought of me as a kind of tag-along kid, so they never BOTHERED to explain to me that any of the criminals we faced might have ACTUALLY been dangerous, not even those REAL ghosts we had to catch for Vincent Van Ghoul! Do you have ANY idea what kind of NIGHTMARES we had to face while CATCHING those ghosts?”

 

Captain Retro says: “Well...”

 

Scrappy says: “Rhetorical question, you DON'T want to know what kind of Nightmares WE had, TAKE MY WORD FOR IT! That's why I volunteered to go in that rocket after catching that 12th Ghost, I just couldn't STAND having to deal with those nightmares anymore. I guess Daphne and the others took it the wrong way, and thought I was being a selfish jerk. I wasn't TRYING to be, I was just trying to SAVE what LITTLE sanity I STILL had after all those HORRIBLE nightmares! The cartoon series BASED on our experience trying to capture the Ghosts from the Chest of Demons, were NOTHING like the 'Jolly Good Times' that were often depicted in that series!”

 

Captain Retro says: “Well, to be FAIR, television guidelines were a LOT stricter back then. They could probably make the REAL deal on Netflix now. Of course, if what you're saying is any indication, what YOU really experienced would be more suitable for an 'After the End/What-If?' Comic-book series like, Scooby-Doo Apocalypse.”

 

Scrappy asks: “They MADE a 'What-If' comic-book series called Scooby-Doo Apocalypse? MAN! You disappear into a worm-hole, find out that while only FIVE minutes passed for you, 193 years passed for everyone else, and the WHOLE world went nuts!”

 

Captain Retro says: “Anyways, the reason I'm explaining this to you, is to catch you up to speed with what the Power Rangers have been up to. And since I CAN'T go into the Nazi Realm, and YOU have a Guardian who CAN, I think you would be an ideal candidate to help the Power Rangers out in that realm. It would be, good practice for you, should you ever prove qualified enough to someday, maybe even take MY place as Dog Guardian!”

 

Scrappy asks: “Why would I need to take YOUR place?! You have amazing powers, I don't!”

 

Captain Retro says: “The times are changing. Power Rangers don't live forever, even WITHOUT occasionally getting killed. Even the avatar of a guardian can only last as long as their will can hold out. Besides, I don't WANT to do this by LIVING forever, I would be a fool and a cheat to try. Besides, I've got a girlfriend that I've fallen in love with. And I don't want to fall into a May-December Romance, where she grows old and dies without me, while I remain young. That's why I want to be able to 'Pass the Torch' myself someday, so I can live an HONEST life with her. She deserves that, from me.”

 

Scrappy says: “I'll do my best, Captain Retro. That's both ME, and Templeton talking. But if that live-action movie is any indication, I don't exactly HAVE the best reputation on Core Earth.”

 

Captain Retro says: “That movie was a LONG time ago. Time...often heals a lot of wounds, Scrappy-Doo, even the ones that you CAN'T see on the inside. My older brother can show you the ropes on how to be a TRUE hero, and teach you how to do heroics, the right way!”

 

Scrappy says: “So, you're sending me to learn how to be a true hero, with your older brother, D.O.G.–STILL can't believe THAT'S his real name—and hopefully, be redeemed in the eyes of millions! Tell me, is your older brother anything LIKE you; is he good?”

 

Captain Retro says: “Oh, he's very good, but kind of a 'Cloud-Cuckoolander', and DON'T tell him I said that. Heroes come in all shapes and sizes, but I think he will be good for you. He has an AMAZING amount of patience, and is FIERCELY loyal to anyone he considers his friends.”

 

Scrappy says: “Well, if your brother means THAT much to you, I'll certainly do my best to live up to both YOUR, and your older brother's expectations!”

 

Captain Retro says: “That's certainly good to hear!”

 

Captain Retro pushes a button on his communicator, and says: “Omnus, he's been given the orientation. He's ready to be warped.”

 

Omnus says: “Acknowledged. Activating the warp system for Mr. Scrappy Cornelius Doo.”

And Scrappy is warped from Captain Retro's Pocket Dimension, to the Command Center on Core Earth. Captain Retro says: “Good luck, Scrappy-Doo.” /

 

Meanwhile, in the Neo Empire Gear Factory, the Mecha-Clones, Mettzler, Fara, Farrah Cat, and Meison, are working under Psygorn's instructions, to finish a project that they have been hard at work on for quite a while now!

 

Psygorn says: “You Mecha-Clones, let's show a little initiative! And you Farrah Cat, GET your rear in gear! Put your WEAK backs into it!”

 

Meison says: “Yeah, I had a weak back, about a WEEK back!”

 

Mettzler says: “Hey, temporary boss! Construction is completed!”

 

Fara says: “Yeah, when's lunch?”

 

Psygorn says: “Soon. It's time to play the instructions that Dr. Maniac has left for us one last time, before we begin the integration process.”

 

And Psygorn slips a D.V.D., into a Disc player, titled, “Dr. Maniac's Super Secret Plan!”

The Disc begins playing, and Dr. Maniac's old, human appearance graces the screen. He says: “Greetings fellow minions, those who have LOYALLY remained! I trust the construction process has been completed based on MY genius blueprints, and NO short-cuts were taken, that means YOU, Psygorn! The time has come to COMPLETE the integration process, so if you ARE watching this, than my old human body IS permanently deceased! It is time to COMPLETE my transition, and become the machine I was ALWAYS meant to be! It's time to put the 'Neo', into Neo Empire Gear! Psygorn, place the brain!”

 

Psygorn grabs Dr. Maniac's brain, now safely encased in a jar with a weird, liquid gel surrounding his brain, and Psygorn says: “You've got it, boss!"

 

Psygorn places the brain in the jar, into a COMPLETELY metallic body, and slams the HEAD lid on it, TIGHT, with metallic, silver hair over the head! On the Disc, Dr. Maniac says: “Supply the initializing ingredient, the most POWERFUL machine fuel, EVER invented by men!”

 

Mettzler says: “On it!”

 

And Mettzler, grabs a hose, and pumps it into a machine chest cavity. The hose, is pumping from a TANK load of liquid, and the liquid container says: “Mulan Szechuan McNugget Sauce!”

Mettzler says: “It's full!”

 

On the Disc, Dr. Maniac says: “Close the chest cavity!”

 

And the chest cavity is slammed shut, revealing a Titanium-Steel Alloy body, covered with the clothes that Dr. Maniac wore while as a human. On the Disc, Dr. Maniac says: “Now, turn the electricity conductor to 2,000 WATTS! Give my NEW body LIFE! LIFE, I tell you, LIFE!!!!”

Meison turns on the electricity conductor. It SURGES through the metallic body, bringing it on-line, and JOLTING it to a sitting position! The metallic body suddenly SPEAKS, in UNISON with the Dr. Maniac disc, with Dr. Maniac's VOICE, now sounding more metallic than before, and the metallic robot says with his former human self: “I have transcended DEATH! Dr. Maniac now LIVES, and WALKS again! I feel so GOOD, I can CONQUER a planet! And best of all, NOBODY, not even RADIGUET can get in my way, THIS time! ALL will bow before me!”

 

The disc stops playing, and the robot says: “Say hello to NEO Dr. Maniac! New and improved, you might say! With fire-power and strength my former human self could only DREAM of! Mettzler, what is the status of Queen Beryl, and her quest to revive Queen Metallia?”

 

Mettzler says: “Well, boss, her progress has been slow, but she has been hard at work on it. Our secret computer link to HER inner system, let's us monitor EVERYTHING they are doing, with them being NONE the wiser for it! Our scanners indicate, that they've gathered 20% of the energy that they need to revive Queen Metallia. Furthermore, we have reason to believe, that the Power Rangers will mount an assault on the Nazi realm, sometime in the future. If we can gather up ALL the Nazi weapons in the Nazi realm, modify and IMPROVE upon them, as WELL as pulling a 'Grand Theft Me' ON Queen Metallia once she IS revived as YOU plan to do, taking on Radiguet, even WITH Chaos God Powers, shall prove to be a Cake Walk for YOU, Neo Dr. Maniac!”

 

Neo Dr. Maniac coldly says: “Excellent! Most excellent, indeed! What FOOLS those mortals be! They shall RUE the day they EVER thought they COULD destroy NEO Dr. Maniac! MWA, HA, HA! MWA, HA, HA, HA, HA! MWA, HA, HA! MWA, HA, HA, HA, HA!!!!” /

 

Meanwhile, in a Lounge Bar, Lettuce is dressed up in an Elvis wig and jumpsuit, holding a microphone, and singing. Oddly enough, he's singing the Weird Al Yankovic song, “One More Minute”! /

 

Lettuce sings: “Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Well, I heard that you're leaving. (Leaving) Gonna leave me far behind. (So far behind) Cause you found a brand new lover. You decided that I'm not your kind. So I pulled (I pulled) your name out (name out) of my Rolodex. And I tore all your pictures in two. And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go, just because it reminds me of you! (Dippity dippity doo) That's right (that's right), you ain't gonna see me crying. I'm glad (I'm glad) that you found somebody new. Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass, than spend one more minute with you. I guess I might seem kinda bitter. You got me feeling down in the dumps. Cause I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self-service pumps! Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase! You ain't (you ain't) gonna break my heart in two. 'Cause I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face, than spend one more minute with you. I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork, than watch you going out with other men. I'd rather slam my flippers in a door, again and again and again and again and again! Oh, can't you see what I'm trying to say, Darling...I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches. (Leeches) Shove an icepick under a toenail or two. I'd rather clean all the bathroom in Grand Central Station with my tongue, than spend one more minute with you. Yes, I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks! Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue. I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades, than spend one more minute with you! I'd rather rip my heart out of my ribcage with my bare flippers, and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it 'till I die! (Gasps!) Than spend one more minute with you.” /

 

The song ends, and Lettuce hears scattered applause, notably, from Toby and Ebony (who Lettuce doesn't REALLY recognize), and Bash Buzzard and Smash Swallow. Bash Buzzard says: “Interesting song choice, Smash. Why did you pick it?”

 

Smash sighs, and says: “I feel depressed. Not only has our search for the secret identities of the Power Rangers turned up NOTHING of interest in the last few months, but my relationship with Pinkie Pie is officially over!”

 

Ebony asks: “Who's Pinkie Pie?”

 

Smash says: “Only the most interesting girl in the world. She BROKE my heart, than chewed it up, than spit it out, than stepped on it, than threw it down a sewer, called it names, and then LAUGHED!”

 

Toby says: “First of all, Pinkie is NOT the most interesting girl in the world, Ebony is. Second of all, I don't think you're SUPPOSED to find out the secret identities of the Power Rangers. If you WERE, it would be a LOT easier to do so!”

 

Ebony says: “Might be cool, though. If you KNEW who the Power Rangers were, imagine what being friends with THEM would be like!”

 

Lettuce says: “Well, you'll have to imagine without me, my shift is over. And while I feel sorry for your loss, Smash, I have a date, with MY girlfriend, I have decided that the time has come to OFFICIALLY announce my feelings for her! She IS the one for me! I'm going to follow my heart, and say, 'Yes, Destiny'. I'm going to marry her. Today is going to be the HAPPIEST day of our lives...so far!”

 

And Lettuce leaves the building. Smash says: “This is the SADDEST day of my life!”

 

Toby asks: “Why? I mean, you seem like a decent enough guy. Who would Pinkie Pie rather be with, if NOT with you?”

 

Bash Buzzard says: “The SAME guy who just sung that song, Lettuce Manchot! If that wasn't bad enough, he sometimes fancies himself as a Private/Penguin Investigator! What's he GOT that Smash hasn't got?!”

 

Ebony says: “Well, money AND good looks...for a penguin. But I don't think dating someone BIRD like would work out well for me. That's why I'm with Toby, he likes me for the girl I am!”

 

Smash says: “Lucky! And Toby, what's YOUR secret?! How did YOU snag a girl, like Ebony?!”

 

Toby says: “First of all, 'Snag', is not the word I would use for ANYTHING, not even for obtaining Pokemon, about 444 of them from four generations worth of adventures that I treat ALL with the loving respect and care that they all deserve. I know it's cliché, but with great power, DOES come great responsibility, and that's something that I don't want to take lightly. Second, I'm not sure why, but the first thing we BOTH remember, is falling out of some kind of a worm-hole together. We started talking, we got to know each other for the past month or so, and we found out that we have a healthy relationship with each other. If you want to find someone of your own, I'm afraid it takes time. You need someone you have a healthy amount of things in common with, someone you can cherish and care for, and someone who KNOWS that you might have your own quirks, but will STILL like you, because they know that you ARE good at heart, and are willing to LEARN from any unintentional mistakes that you might make, because you are WILLING to be good to your soul-mate, no matter WHAT kinds of things that life may throw at you!”

 

Smash Swallow says: “A soul-mate. Say, Bash, do you think you and I–?”

 

Bash immediately says: “No.”

 

Smash chuckles, and he says: “That's actually, pretty funny.” /

 

Meanwhile, outside of the lounge, Lettuce packs up his performance gear, and gets out a BIG, impressive GOLD Ring, with the words, “Love you forever, Pinkie”, engraved in the ring. Lettuce says: “It's perfect, she'll LOVE it!” (Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep!)

Lettuce says: “Duty calls. A Ranger's work is never done.”

 

Lettuce answers the communicator and says: “Yes, Omnus, what is it?”

 

Omnus says: “Rangers, warp to the Command Center at once! The Rat Guardian has chosen a new avatar, and he wants you all to meet him!”

 

Lettuce says: “Right! We're on our way!”

 

And Lettuce warps to the Command Center. The other Power Rangers, AND the Thunder Rangers arrive soon after Lettuce does! Lettuce says: "Samson! You guys came to?!"

 

Samson says: "Of course! If we're going to be real Power Rangers like the rest of you, than we need to stay on the same page, don't we?"

 

Krash'ir says: "Obviously, I think that should go without saying."

 

Omnus says: "Rangers, I'm so glad you could come. Even though the last month and a half has been relatively quiet, save for the occasional attack by one of Queen Beryl's Youma creatures, I feel that today will be a momentous occasion for all of us!"

 

Lettuce says: "Oh, it will be! For more reasons than ONE!"

 

Omnus says: "Anyways, the Rat Guardian, Templeton, has decided that the time has come for him to take on a new avatar body. And while normally, he would take on the body of another rat; this time, he has decided to take on the body of something different. Templeton is doing this, in order to help his avatar body gain some redemption, and become a TRUE hero, hopefully in the eyes of millions! Say hello to Templeton's NEW avatar..."

 

And a white light materializes in the Command Center, and dissipates to reveal a FAMILIAR small, brown dog. Omnus finishes: "Scrappy Cornelius Doo!"

 

FireHawk says: "You FREAK!!!!"

 

And she TRIES to fire one of her fire attacks at him, but Queen Hedrian stops it COLD with her Magic Wand! Queen Hedrian says: "What are you TRYING to do, BURN this place down?! I have worked REALLY hard to get this place CLEANED for Scrappy-Doo's introduction!"

 

Windsor Gorilla appears, and he says: "And I would be really disappointed if anything were to happen to this place, seeing as it has become my temporary home, unless Omnus can find somewhere else where I can reside."

 

FireHawk says: "Scrappy-Doo is a Grade-A JERK!!!! He HAS to GO!!!!"

 

Samson says: "Isn't that the kettle calling the pot black? Or...something, like that?"

 

FireHawk says: "What is THAT supposed to mean?!"

 

Patsy says: "Well, you're not EXACTLY the most social and outgoing among us."

 

FireHawk says: "Oh, and I suppose that YOU are considered Miss Congeniality at Camp Kidney, or Acorn Flats, or, WHEREVER it is that you come from?!"

 

Patsy says: "Well, of course! I'm the most ATHLETIC girl at Acorn Flats, AND the most attractive, and I never ONCE got attracted to a pair of DUNG beetles like my good friend Nina, once did!"

 

FireHawk says: "Well if you're SO attractive, than tell me WHY Samson isn't head over heels in LOVE with you?!"

 

Samson says: "Because I already HAVE a girlfriend!"

 

Patsy scoffs, and she says: "As if! Who would be your girlfriend if NOT me?!"

 

Samson says: "A fellow Squirrel Scout of yours named Almondine. And for YOUR information, beauty is NOT the most important quality I look for in a girl. I prefer a woman who has brains and a nice personality. Almondine fits those qualities like a glove."

 

Patsy says: "I could fit those qualities like a glove!"

 

Samson says: "With YOUR track record of beating Bean Scouts up, just so you don't disappoint your daddy? I highly doubt that!"

 

Naruto says: "At least you HAVE a girlfriend, Samson! Even I don't really have that luxury!"

 

Usagi asks: "What are you talking about?"

 

Naruto says: "HELLO!!!! Being in a long-distance relationship SUCKS! And everyone ELSE here has a significant other EXCEPT for me! Usagi and Krash'ir are in a relationship, Lettuce and Pinkie have repaired THEIR relationship,  BlackHawk and StarHawk are great in THEIR relationship, Samson is in a relationship, even COOP has a relationship! Patsy, FireHawk, and D.O.G., have...well, I don't KNOW if they have a relationship, unless ONE of them has a date with 'Rosie Palms'."

 

StarHawk asks: "BlackHawk, who is this 'Rosie Palms'?"

 

BlackHawk says: "THAT, you don't want to know. TAKE my WORD for it!"

 

Naruto says: "And YOU think you're SO great, aren't you?! You and your STUPID new powers! Ever since you got the power of the Gold Ranger, you've been SHOWING it off every single chance you GOT! If I had new powers, than Omnus would SEE how truly great I am, and put me BACK as leader of this team!"

 

Coop says: "Look, if you're SO upset by BlackHawk currently being stronger than you, than why don't you get some therapy like BlackHawk did AFTER his forced servitude with the Night Master, and talk things over with a therapist?"

 

Naruto says: "Look! Trying to be BETTER than BlackHawk is my ONLY defining characteristic trait on this WHOLE stupid team! Now, it is a STUPID characteristic, but I'M GOING TO USE IT!"

 

Alpha 8 says: "Look, can we PLEASE get back to the REAL reason why we're here?! Omnus is waiting to tell us the reason WHY Scrappy-Doo is here!"

 

Naruto groans, and says: "FINE! I'll deal with this problem later, NOT that it would be any NEW information to anyone here!"

 

Omnus says: "Anyways, the reason why Templeton has chosen Scrappy-Doo to be his avatar, is for two reasons. The biggest reason of course, is to help Scrappy-Doo redeem himself in the eyes of MILLIONS, and hopefully become a TRUE hero!"

 

FireHawk mutters under her breath: "Fat chance of THAT happening!"

 

Scrappy-Doo says: "I HEARD THAT!!!!"

 

D.O.G., says: "IGNORE HER!!!!"

 

Omnus says: "Noted, moving on. The second reason Templeton has chosen Scrappy-Doo to be his new avatar, is because as you know, Captain Retro can't and isn't allowed to protect you in the Nazi realm, but Templeton CAN enter that realm, and ANY avatar he is currently using. Therefore, Captain Retro has agreed with me, that he should stay with D.O.G., and Coop, seeing as how BlackHawk and StarHawk have now moved out and gotten a place of their own."

 

BlackHawk says: "Well, we had to. We have a child of our OWN to raise, lest you FORGET that important fact! Speaking of, I wonder how Sans and Papyrus are DOING with our infant daughter right now?"

 

(Gilligan Cut!) Sans is looking absolutely MISERABLE, as he is ROCKING the infant Aquila in his arms, trying to get her to fall asleep, while Papyrus is trying to multi-task with cleaning BlackHawk's new apartment building area, and making a new smoothie for Aquila. Sans says: "Oh, why do WE always get STUCK with these babysitting jobs?!"

 

Papyrus says: "Because YOU never complain, Sans! Besides, it's the closest WE'RE probably ever going to get, to experiencing the joys of raising a child ourselves!"

 

Sans sarcastically says: "Ho, ho, very funny. Ha, ha. It IS to LAUGH!!!!"

 

(PLOP!!!!) Sans shouts: "Are YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!!!"

 

(Cuts back to the Command Center) Omnus says: "In any case, D.O.G., and Coop, you ARE willing to take Scrappy-Doo in, and teach him EVERYTHING he needs to know about being a TRUE hero, aren't you?"

 

Coop says: "Of course! We WILL have to get permission from my parents first, but I'm sure they'll go for it. After all, now that BlackHawk's old room is empty, Abby could use something to keep her mind off of having empty nest syndrome, even though it's STILL going to be at LEAST five and a half years before I can even THINK about finding my OWN place!"

 

Scrappy-Doo says: "Coop, you ROCK! FireHawk, you DON'T!!!!"

 

FireHawk screams: "OH, SHUT UP!!!!"

 

Patsy seriously says: "FireHawk, DON'T make me HURT you."

 

FireHawk screams: "You and WHAT ARMY?!!!"

 

Patsy seriously says: "You don't really want me to ANSWER that one, DO you?"

 

Omnus says: "Anyways, today is OFFICIALLY Valentines Day, so Queen Beryl is BOUND to send a Youma of one kind or another, in order to gather up energy for Queen Metalia. It's not an ideal situation to think about, but heaven knows that if we DON'T stop the Youma, Queen Beryl would ONLY gather up the energy FASTER! So, the LONGER we can DELAY her process, the better shape you guys will be in. The Thunder Rangers should be fully trained by then. Speaking of, does anyone already HAVE any plans for today?"

 

Lettuce says: "As a matter of fact, I do. Pinkamena 'Pinkie' Pie, today, I am going to take you on the most ROMANTIC day of your dreams, and I have a SURPRISE planned for you later!"

Pinkie says: "I LIKE surprises! Especially the romantic kind!"

 

FireHawk mutters: "Can't wait to see what THEIR kids end up looking like!"

 

Samson says: "You WISH you had someone of your OWN to love like that!"

 

FireHawk says: "And be THAT diabetic?! Everyone has STANDARDS, Samson; I'm just telling it like it is! If you don't like it, TOO bad for you!"

 

Patsy says: "Even so, you DON'T have to be so ABRASIVE about it!"

 

Samson says: "Patsy, I think that might ACTUALLY be the first thing you've said that I've ever agreed with."

 

Patsy says: "Oh, an AGREEMENT! We're making PROGRESS!"

 

Samson says: "You're still not my type."

 

Patsy says: "YET!"

 

Samson says: "You ONLY want me because I now have MUSCLES in addition to my brains. Before BlackHawk trained me, you wouldn't have even given ME the time of DAY!"

 

Patsy says: "I did ONCE!"

 

Samson scoffs, and says: "YEAH! When you thought I was a MOVIE star named Hanly Manster that one time!"

 

Patsy says: "Which I have PROFUSELY apologized for about a MILLION times! ONE mistake, and I'M paying for it for the REST of my life!"

 

FireHawk says: "I could say the same thing about NARUTO'S parents!"

 

Naruto says: "BITE ME!!!!"

 

FireHawk says: "In your DREAMS, you FREAKY Casanova WANNABE!"

 

Naruto says: "Are you saying that I'm PERVERTED?!!!"

 

FireHawk says: "Of course not, for a guy who watches the movie Fritz the Cat every single chance he can get!"

 

Windsor says: "BURN!!!! Sorry, but you got to admit, that WAS actually pretty funny!"

 

Naruto says: "For some people and/or creatures, it WOULD be! But, seeing how we have to work together on a team, I'll let it go, for now."

 

Lettuce says: "Anyways, Pinkie and I have a schedule to maintain, and I will not have my schedule interrupted. I trust everyone else can manage without us?"

 

Queen Hedrian says: "Why do you think the Magi-Mother wanted us to find candidates who could and would use the Thunder Morphers? Specifically for this kind of scenario! And don't worry, we'll call you both ONLY as a LAST resort!"

 

Lettuce says: "Thank you, I REALLY appreciate that! Come along, Pinkie! It's time to begin our day of fun, and LOVE!"

 

Pinkie says: "I'm excited already!"

 

And the two of them warp to the local amusement park! Coop says: "It's time for us, to go, to. Come along, Scrappy-Doo, D.O.G., and I, have to introduce you to my parents."

 

Scrappy-Doo says: "Do you think your mom will LIKE me?"

 

Coop says: "If ANYONE would understand what YOU have gone through, it's my mother. But don't ask HER about it, she'll tell you when she FEELS like she can trust you WITHOUT you being judgmental about it! She's understandably STILL a little sensitive about what SHE had to go through. And quite frankly, I can't blame her."

 

Scrappy-Doo says: "Fair enough. Let's go!"

 

And Coop, Scrappy-Doo, and D.O.G., warp to Coop's mansion! BlackHawk says: "And Samson, Patsy, and I better get going as well! I've got my job at Camp Kidney to get to!"

 

FireHawk says: "You only TOOK that job because it allows you to be NAKED; like, ALL the TIME!!!!"

 

BlackHawk says: "It's not like we DO anything PERVERTED there, it's not ALLOWED! Camp Kidney is STRICTLY only for those who are MATURE enough, and LAWFUL enough, to handle the PRIVILEDGE of going there! Camp Kidney takes any and ALL allegations of misconduct VERY seriously, and will hook up ANYONE to a Lie Detector test. And if ANYBODY is FOUND lying about ANYTHING regarding an allegation, OR did anything immoral or illegal, they're BANNED from Camp Kidney, and Camp Kidney will SEND the ban status to any and ALL Nudist Resorts on Core Earth! In other words, we wouldn't want YOU to be there, even if YOU wanted to be there!"

 

FireHawk says: "Lucky for YOU, even if I could and/or WANTED to go there, I wouldn't! I'm not a big fan of sausages and bananas, IF you know what I mean!"

 

Naruto claps sarcastically, and says: "Congratulations, you just reached the maturity level of a third grader!"

 

FireHawk says: "You WISH you were as interesting as I am! Of course, you'd probably wish you could make it WITH Usagi, and DON'T try to DENY it! If she WASN'T with Krash'ir AND a Lesbian, you'd be ALL over her!"

 

Naruto says: "I hope you don't expect ME to dignify that with an actual response!"

 

BlackHawk says: "Remind me, StarHawk, WHY do you put up with HER again, and DON'T say it's because she's your sister, AGAIN!"

 

StarHawk says: "Come on! It's not like I WAS going to say that--well, actually, it WAS pretty MUCH THAT!"

 

Windsor says: "It's times like this that make me GLAD I'm an ONLY child! No offense, Queen Hedrian."

 

Queen Hedrian says: "No, I'd agree with YOU if I could! I could be the Magi-Mother if I had to! STUPID older sister, always has to be better than ME at EVERYTHING, that grumble, grumble."

 

BlackHawk says: "Anyways, I would LOVE to stay and hear some MORE colorful insults from FireHawk, is what I WOULD say, if that were even REMOTELY the truth! But, duty calls! Come Samson and Patsy!"

 

And they warp to Camp Kidney! Alpha Eight sighs, and says: "Well, don't the REST of you have places to be?"

 

Usagi says: "Yes, Krash'ir and I have to get back to Sally Anne! Toriel is expecting us! Come along, Krash'ir!"

 

Krash'ir says: "Yes, my darling!"

 

And they warp back home! StarHawk says: "And I need to warp back home as well, Sans and Papyrus should be EXHAUSTED by now!"

 

And StarHawk warps back home as well! FireHawk says: "Too bad YOU don't have a home to warp back to, Naruto! And even IF you did, I wouldn't CARE!"

 

Naruto says: "You know, I wish that for ONCE, you'd actually CARE to learn SOMETHING about me!"

 

FireHawk says: "I WOULD if you ever actually DID anything INTERESTING besides those STUPID Youtube POOP videos. But, you haven't, so I won't! Later, loser!"

 

And FireHawk warps away! Naruto groans, and yells: "OMNUS!!!! Set the Simulation Planet for Level ELEVEN!!!!"

 

Alpha Eight says: "But all the way to ELEVEN has RADIGUET on it! Don't you think--."

 

Naruto screams: "NOW!!!!"

 

Alpha Eight says: "All right! Sheesh! What a GROUCH!" /

 

Naruto finds himself in a desolate and ruined Coastal Falls, resembling something more out of "Mad Max" or "Escape from New York" than it does the city he calls his home. The sky is dark with streaks of color: red, green, purple...yet also grey. All around him, Naruto sees countless dead, but what shocks him the most are the bodies of his fellow Rangers, their helmets dusty and cracked. In the distance, he can see...something: Radiguet. But it doesn't even resemble Radiguet anymore, now he resembles something out of HP Lovecraft's worst nightmare - a many tentacled beast with six faces; those of the Chaos Gods, as well as the Renegade God Malal (also called Malice, or "Misery" by Radiguet) and Radiguet's own in the very center. Naruto observes that the Chaos Gods' powers were too much for Radiguet to handle, so they consumed his soul, and then they were in turn consumed by Malal, becoming a singular horrifying Chaos Spawn. Its only desire was hunger. And it would feed on everyone still remaining in Coastal Falls and Core Earth-no, the entire multiverse-if not stopped. With determination in his soul, Naruto morphs into his Ranger form before summoning his Power Weapon and charging at the Chaos Radiguet. He doesn't get too far before being stopped by..another Ranger? This one is in gold and white armor, its body shape informing Naruto just who this Last Ranger is: BlackHawk. Instead of being happy at the sight of the Simulation BlackHawk, Naruto is BEYOND ANGRY! "What do you want, BlackHawk!?"

 

 The Simulation BlackHawk removes his helmet; he's scarred on his cheeks, and he's missing an eye. The Simulation BlackHawk says: "I'm TRYING to SAVE YOUR LIFE, THAT'S WHAT!" Lowering his voice, he says: "I'm glad to see you're alive, Naruto. Now stay close to me, and we won't die as quickly."

 

 Naruto whispers back: "You're really expecting to kill that...THING all by yourself?"

 

 The Simulation BlackHawk rolls his eyes: "Is this REALLY the time to keep holding your grudge against me? Anyways, I'm not expecting to kill off Radiguet all by myself. I only want to hold him off as long as I can before he devours all of existence. The both of us are likely to die trying, but if we do, he'll just have the Crimson King to deal with once the entire physical multiverse is eaten." Both of them feel uneasy at the mention of the King, and shudder.

 

 Naruto says: "Now that's a battle I don't want to think about!"

 

 The Simulation BlackHawk says: "Good. Now get ready!" And the both of them arm themselves; Naruto with the Fire Blade, and BlackHawk with Saba. They charge forth, slaughtering through hordes of less powerful (when compared to Radiguet) Chaos Spawn, and when they're done, they are at the foot of Radiguet, the now-mindless Emperor not even noticing them. The Simulation BlackHawk turns to Naruto and salutes. He says: "It's been an honor Naruto." And with that, he begins muttering the Gunslinger's Creed: "I do not aim with my hand. He who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father. I aim with my eye. I do not shoot with my hand. He who shoots with his hand has forgotten the face of his father. I shoot with my mind. I do not kill with my gun. He who kills with his gun has forgotten the face of his father. I kill with my heart." But just as BlackHawk is about to strike Radiguet, Naruto remembers his anger, and it overcomes him. He snaps the Simulation BlackHawk's neck, killing him instantly. From above him, Naruto hears Omnus.

 

Omnus says: "Alpha, turn off the simulation. I think we have seen enough." Naruto falls onto the floor, grunting and almost grinding his teeth in rage. Omnus looks at him, disappointed .

 

Omnus says: "I expected better of you, Naruto."

 

 Naruto says, through gritted teeth: "Of course you do. I'm a Ranger."

 

 Omnus, sternly, replies: "Not anymore you're not." Naruto, deep down, understands why, but he still acts shocked.

 

Naruto says: "WHAT!? YOU CAN'T! BEING A RANGER IS MY EVERYTHING!"

 

 "And that," Omnus says, "is where your problem lies. You are so concerned about being a Power Ranger and nothing else, you are blind to your own arrogance and ego. There is nothing wrong with being proud, but when it consumes you and turns into hubris, then it becomes a problem." Omnus turns to Naruto with his hand out. Realizing there is no winning this, Naruto hands his morpher in. "Until you are once again proven worthy of the power of the Morphing Grid, you can no longer be allowed into the Command Center. I am sorry, Naruto." Without saying a word, Naruto leaves.

 

Windsor, watching him leave, observes: "I wish I could give him my usual pearls of wisdom, like I have to my friends in middle school. But part of growing up means you have to figure things out on your own. Life won't always give you easy answers."

 

 Alpha nods and agrees. "Far too true." /

 

Meanwhile, in Queen Beryl's fortress, there are only three people within it: herself, Ahzek Ahriman, and the youma Abbaddon. Queen Beryl has decided that Kunzite and Zoisite, being lovers themselves, deserve a day to themselves; so they've both treated themselves to a movie, lunch at Bucca di Beppo, and some self-care at a spa. Abbaddon, having nothing better to do, is outside Beryl's throne room, standing guard. So that leaves only Beryl and Ahzek. And yet, Beryl is watching all the happy lovers in Coastal Falls spend a happy Valentine's Day together, feeling QUITE unhappy herself!

 

Beryl says: "I HATE VALENTINE'S DAY! I HATE HOW HAPPY EVERYONE IS! EVERYONE EXCEPT FOR ME!"

 

 Letting out a sigh, Ahzek puts down his spellbook, and looks at Beryl. Ahzek says: "Do you really mean this, my queen? Because I think there's something more to this. You don't seem much like the 'petty evil' type like all the other villains the Rangers have faced."

 

 Beryl looks at Ahzek and with a sigh, she says: "You don't know much about me, do you?"

 

 Ahzek says: "In spite of all the passionate lovemaking we have done? I have to admit I don't."

 

Beryl rolls her eyes and says: "I sold my soul to Metalia because I was scorned by Prince Endymion thousands of years ago. Then Sailor Moon defeated me the first time. And now that I have found that I too am romantically attracted to her, I just can't help but be jealous of her marriage to that Bloodthirster Kra'shir."

 

 Ahzek nods in understanding, and he says: "Ah. You're envious, aren't you?"

 

 Beryl nods, and she says: "If I cannot be happy with Usagi, then she nor anyone else can be today. Ahzek, I wish to create a youma. One that'll not only absorb love energy, but cast binding romance spells on whoever it chooses, so more energy can be absorbed!"

 

 Ahzek sighs, and he gets his materials ready, muttering: "I don't get paid enough for this."

 

 Beryl snaps back, her tone calm yet with a hint of venom: "I don't pay you at all." /

 

 Meanwhile at Bucca di Beppo, Kunzite and Zoisite are enjoying lunch before they go see the movie. Kunzite is eating spaghetti and meatballs, and Zoisite is eating two calzones. Suddenly, Zoisite tenses up, his eyes having a thousand yard stare. He says: "Kunzite, I sense a disturbance in the Force."

 

 Kunzite, about to stuff a rather large meatball into his mouth, stops and asks his boyfriend worriedly: "What is it, Kunzite? Is something wrong? Does Queen Beryl need our help?"

 

 Zoisite says: "No, no. I feel that she's probably doing something risky and is gonna regret it later."

 

 Kunzite nods and says: "I'm sure she's well-aware of what she's doing. Besides, Beryl gave us the day off. She can handle it on her own for once." Before either can say anymore, the two hear a shout of "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" from a nearby table. Kunzite puts his head in his hands and mutters: "Oh, COME ON! ANOTHER birthday!? How many times have we had to hear that stupid birthday song now!?"

 

 Zoisite counts on his fingers: "One...two...three...Eight times!"

 

 Kunzite responds by slamming his face into his spaghetti and screaming, although it's muffled and given an almost gurgling effect by the marinara sauce! /

 

Back in Coastal Falls, Naruto is walking around downtown, dejected yet trying to at least see something positive in all this. As he muses on his current situation, Naruto, like Beryl, sees all the other happy couples in Coastal Falls; they aren't exactly helping his mood. Who should he see next, then, but Toby and Ebony? Toby's currently riding his bike slowly and carefully, with a tipsy Ebony behind him and holding on around his waist. Toby is saying to Ebony: "How many times have we had this conversation, Ebony? Pace yourself when you're drinking! That's why they say 'drink responsibly'!"

 

 Ebony, who can't seem to hold her liquor well, seems on the verge of crying and is obviously suffering from a headache. Ebony says: "I know, I'm sorry. It's just...when you're in a lounge bar, sooner or later, you're gonna have more than a few shots of Jack Daniels!'

 

Toby retorts: "Then why not...oh, nevermind! Let's just get you home and into bed. I'll have Magenta brew you some coffee to get rid of that hangover." That's when the two see Naruto, and Toby shouts: "Hey! What's wrong?"

 

Naruto looks at Toby and says bitterly: "What do you care? I'm just some nobody. You have a girlfriend, and a home you need to get back to. Just leave me to wallow in my own pity."

 

 Toby looks concerned, and he stops the bike, parking it and getting off, holding an unsteady Ebony's hand. Toby says: "Look, I don't know who you are, or what's going on in your personal life right now. All I care about is helping someone in need." Toby extends his free hand, shaking Naruto's. "Toby Jones. Nice to meet you."

 

 Naruto shakes Toby's hand and says: "Naruto Uzumaki. Nice to meet you."

 

 Toby says: "So, what's bugging ya?"

 

 Naruto sighs, and thinks to himself: "Well, I guess I don't have a choice." And Naruto comes clean about being a Power Ranger, about being nearly-homeless, and about his relationship troubles. Toby can barely contain his excitement, but he keeps himself composed.

 

Toby says: "Wow, that's...that's tough. If you want, you can crash at mine and Ebony's place until you get back on your feet."

 

 Ebony interrupts; in spite of her inebriated state, she's still aware enough of her surroundings to point out something important in Toby's idea: "Maybe we ought to bring it up to Frank. He might not like the idea of some stranger taking up space. We already have 11 people in the house as it is."

 

 Toby considers it, and says: "Eh, I'm sure he won't mind. After all, the more the merrier!"

 

 Naruto asks, perplexed: "11 people? What, do you guys live in some kind of boarding house?"

 

 Toby replies: "More like a hippie commune...sorta. Come on, we'll show you. You're gonna love this place!" He and Ebony get back onto the bike, with Naruto following them. Soon, the three arrive at a rather large and spooky castle on the edge of Coastal Falls, sitting atop the mountains overlooking the floating island and complete with (somehow) a perpetual rainstorm. Toby gets off the bike and slowly approaches the door, knocking three times. The door slowly opens up to reveal a hunchbacked man with long, stringy platinum blonde hair, wearing a black cloak. says

 

He stares at Toby and Ebony and says: "You're back later than expected. Not by much, but you know the master expects punctuality."

 

 Toby sighs, and says: "I know, and I'm sorry, Riff Raff." Naruto tries to hold back his laughter, and both Toby and Riff Raff glare at him. Toby turns back to the hunchbacked man and says: " Actually, I was hoping to talk to Frank about something. " He gestures to Naruto. 

 

Riff Raff nods and says: "Come on in." He says to Naruto: " Make yourself comfortable, please. I must inform the master of your...unexpected arrival." 

 

Toby watches him leave, and looks around the castle entrance. Naruto can see it's fairly normal: a standard set of stairs, a chandelier overhead, and a velvet carpet covering everything. A pale woman, dressed in a French maid outfit with long, frizzy red hair, slides down the banister, cackling insanely. Toby says: "There you are, Magenta. Ebony's not feeling too good."

 

 Magenta rolls her eyes, and in a thick Transylvanian accent, asks: "Hangover again?"

 

 Toby nods and says: "Yup. Can you please get her something to drink for it? Maybe put her in bed so she can sleep it off?"

 

 Magenta nods and turns to Naruto: "Very well. Would you like something to drink while you wait for the master?"

 

 Naruto nods and says: "Surprise me." Magenta turns away and, dragging Ebony by the arm and scolding her like a mother or older sister would, takes a nearby elevator upwards. Naruto raises a brow, and mutters: "Wow. This feels like I tumbled down the rabbit hole into Wonderland." 

 

Toby looks at him as Magenta comes back with Naruto's drink. As Naruto slowly drinks his tea spiked with a bit of Irish coffee, Toby says: "You ain't seen nothing yet. Just wait till you meet the others." Before Naruto can say another word, he sees the nearby elevator slowly descend, and out steps a man wearing a sparkly leotard, pearl necklace, and fishnet stockings with high heels. He has his dark hair in a perm, and is wearing makeup; Naruto doesn't even react to the sight of him, but he does think he looks rather handsome, even if Naruto isn't 'into' men, he won't deny such an obvious fact.

 

Naruto says: "You must be Frank, the master."

 

 Frank, who speaks with a rather pronounced English accent, nods. Frank says: "Indeed I am." He looks Naruto over and grins. "Hello, handsome." 

 

Naruto grins back, and replies: "I could say the same thing." This only makes Frank's grin (and already large ego) grow wider.

 

Frank says: "Oh, I like YOU already! Tell me, what is your name?"

 

 Naruto says: "Naruto Uzumaki."

 

 Frank licks his lips a bit, as if savoring Naruto's words. "Naruto...a strong name for a strong young man! I am Dr. Frank N. Furter." Naruto tries not to laugh again, but Toby attempts to silence him before he can. Frank rolls his eyes and says: "Oh, come now, Toby. Let him have a laugh at my expense. You did when you and that girlfriend of yours first met me." 

 

Toby, knowing Frank is right, nods. Toby says: "Sorry."

 

 Naruto goes on to explain his situation, and when he's done, Frank says: "Such a shame you had to go through that. I'll tell you what - you are allowed to stay here, but you must live under my rules."

 

 Naruto nods in gratitude: "Thank you, Frank. I promise you that I'll try and be a good guest."

 

 Frank nods back, and replies: "I hope so." Frank gets up and leaves, but before he does, he turns to Naruto and smirks. Frank says: "And by the way, call me Frankie if you'd like." Frank blows a kiss to Naruto before going down the elevator again. 

 

Naruto stares, before turning to Toby, and asks: "Does he flirt with everyone?"

 

 Toby shrugs and says: "Pretty much, yeah."

 

 Naruto asks: "Doesn't it get uncomfortable sometimes?"

 

 Toby mulls it over for a minute and says: "Frank can come off too STRONG a lot of the time, but uncomfortable? Not really."

 

 Naruto decides to not push the question further, and asks: "So, wanna show me around?" 

 

 Toby says: "Sure." And so Toby begins his own personal tour of the castle. /

 

Back in Coastal Falls proper, everyone is still enjoying their day. At the amusement park, Kras'hir and Usagi have just gotten themselves some cotton candy, while Lettuce and Pinkie are currently getting off of a roller coaster. Lettuce, a bit dizzy but otherwise fine, says: "You know, it's been a really fun day, but you know what'd make it better?"

 

 Hopefully, Pinkie asks: "What's that?" 

 

And Lettuce slowly pulls out the engagement ring, and he begins: "Pinkie Pie, will you-" but before Lettuce can finish, he sees what looks like a massive, bright pink female ladybug, along with several smaller youma surrounding it. "-get down!" And Lettuce drags Pinkie to a spot where they can't easily be seen by Love Bug. Pulling out his communicator, Lettuce says: "Omnus, one of Queen Beryl's youma is at the amusement park! What do we do?"

 

From the other end, Omnus says: "Do not worry. The Thunder Rangers should be able to handle this, but I advise you and the others to be on standby just in case."

 

 Lettuce nods, and watches Love Bug closely as it begins attacking the parkgoers, firing love beams every which way, causing various pairings, whether they be straight, gay, or bisexual to start making out (and in some cases, to forgo even that and just start going each other like animals). Usagi nearly avoids getting hit by a beam as Kras'hir gets her to cover.

 

Kras'hir pulls out her sword, and says, "I'll distract it while I wait for the other Thunder Rangers! Just stay down, all of you!" And Kras'hir charges at Love Bug, screaming: "LORD KHORNE WILL HAVE YOUR SKULL, YOUMA!" 

 

 Meanwhile, the other Thunder Rangers get the signal from Omnus. Samson turns to Patsy and says: "You know the drill!"

 

 Patsy says: "Right! It's Morphing Time! Pink Phoenix Thunderzord power!"

 

 Samson says: "Red Dragon Thunderzord power!"

 

 In the Littles' mansion, Coop and D.O.G. are showing Scrappy how to hold a bo staff. Coop says: "OK, holding a bo staff, while simple, requires at least a bit of practice."

 

 D.O.G. nods, and says: "Yeah, like this." And he bops Coop on the head, causing him to fall backwards! D.O.G. says: "Whoops, sorry!"

 

 Coop gets up, and says: "It's OK." But before their lesson can continue, Coop and D.O.G.'s communicators go off! (Beep beep ba ba beep beep!) Coop says: "Kras'hir, what's up?"

 

And between her grunts and screaming rather colorful swears and praises to Khorne, Kras'hir says: "No time! Amusement park, now!"

 

 Coop says: "Duty calls! Scrappy, practice hitting this bean bag chair with the bo staff while we're gone!"

 

 Scrappy says: "Got it!" And he turns to the bean bag chair and challenges it like a real opponent: "Let me at him, let me at him! I'll get you with-da da da da da duuum!-PUPPY POWER!"

 

 Coop shakes his head, and says to D.O.G: "It's Morphing Time! Green Lion Thunderzord Power!"

 

 D.O.G. says: "Yellow Kirin Thunderzord Power!" And the two teleport to the amusement park! 

 

Back at the amusement park, Kras'hir is still fighting Love Bug on her own, unmorphed, when the other Thunder Rangers arrive! Love Bug laughs and says: "Oh, how cute! You have some friends. But no matter! You will not stand in my way!"

 

 Kras'hir gets out her morpher and says: Oh yeah? Blue Pegasus Thunderzord power!" And she morphs into her Ranger form!

 

Together, the Thunder Rangers ssy: "We are the Mighty Morphin' Thunder Rangers!" Cue explosion! And so the fight begins as a hit song by Joan Armatrading begins! Joan Amatrading sings: "It may rain tomorrow, but tonight is all that's on my mind. My baby is here, in my arms; you know we've got it bad. Cause tonight we've got the love virus. We've both come down with the love bug, and it means we've got to stay in bed. I hope yous guys don't catch this, cause it knocks you right off a your legs. Love bug, talking bout love bug. I said love bug. You know I mean love bug. Let me explain the symptoms. First of all, there's hardly any pain. With the love bug, you kind of lose your memory. You see, hear, think, talk, dream, care, just for one person, only. Don't come down with the love bug, cause it drives the sense right out of your head. This thing strikes in a curious way. It only hits when you're not looking. (Instrumental section) Don't stand close to anybody who'll contaminate you. If you come down with the virus, well you'll never be alone again. Don't come down with the virus. We've both come down with the love bug, and it means we've got to stay in bed. I hope yous guys don't catch this, cause it knocks you right off a your legs. Love bug, talking bout love bug. I said love bug; you know I mean love bug. I said love bug, talking bout love bug. Yeah, love bug. You know I mean love bug. Yeah, love bug. Talking bout love bug. Yeah, love bug." And the epic song ends as Love Bug ends up incapacitating the Thunder Rangers!

 

Standing over them, Love Bug says: "And now that I have defeated you, I have you right where I want you!" And she fires a love beam at Samson and Patsy, who immediately demorph!

 

 Patsy says: "Samson, I never knew how handsome you were! And those muscles...mmmmm! So sexy!"

 

 And Samson looks into Patsy's eyes, and he says: "Patsy, excuse me for saying this, but I like your hips and thighs! And your chest too!" Patsy blushes and pulls Samson into a passionate French kiss! 

 

 Love Bug turns to Kras'hir, Coop, and D.O.G. and says: "Now, as for you three...I always DID have a fondness for triads!" And as she fires a love beam at the three of them, Kras'hir grabs the stand where Pinkie and Lettuce are hiring behind, and throws it at Love Bug, knocking the monster backwards, and the love beam onto Lettuce!

 

 Lettuce blinks and says: "...I don't feel any different. Lame!" He then notices a tamale cart and says: "I AM really hungry, though!" And he proceeds to devour all the tamales, husks included, as well as the cart! Lettuce lies down and says: "Man, that hit the spot!"

 

 Kras'hir grabs Usagi and Pinkie by the waists, and teleports to the Command Center. Kras'hir says: "Omnus, we have a...bit of a problem."

 

Alpha says: "I'll say! I mean, I've heard of free love, but this is going too far!"

 

 Kras'hir gets her communicator and says: "Coop, D.O.G.! Get Lettuce out of there, and get the others!"

 

 Both say: "On it!"

 

 Omnus sighs, and says: "This is a rather inopportune time for this, but Naruto is no longer the Red Ranger."

 

 Usagi, Pinkie, and Kras'hir all say in unison: "WHAT!?" /

 

 As all this is going on, Naruto is getting a tour of Frank N. Furter's castle by Toby; currently, he is being shown the parlor, where Sibella Dracula and Winnie Werewolf are on the couch watching TV. Both of them are significantly older than when they were last seen at Grimwood's, now being about 18 or 19. Sibella still looks the same as ever, if a tad bit curvier and wearing a sensual, slitted dress. Sibella says: "Oh, hello." Naruto can't help but find her accent attractive. Winnie, who is now wearing a plaid flannel T-shirt and ripped jeans, having outgrown bows and dresses, waves.

 

Winnie says, casually: "Hey. You the new guy?"

 

 Naruto says: "Yep! Nice to meet you both!" He walks over, and like the charmer he is, he kisses Sibella's hand. 

 

Sibella giggles, and says: "It's so nice to meet you as well. It'll be fangtastic having you around!"

 

 Naruto blinks and asks: "D-do you make puns like that all the time?"

 

 Winnie rolls her eyes and says: "Trust me, you ain't seen nothing yet. We both make tear-able, tear-able monster puns." Naruto groans, but he can't help but laugh a bit himself. Toby then shows Naruto the library, where Lydia Deetz is busy reading the complete works of Edgar Allan Poe to herself. 

 

Lydia looks up from the book and says: "Hey, Toby. Who's this?"

 

 Toby says: "This is Naruto. I think you'll like him." Toby turns to Naruto, and says: " Naruto, this is Lydia. She's really cool."

 

Naruto says: "Hey." He sits next to Lydia and peers over her shoulder and asks, "Edgar Allan Poe? Neat!"

 

Lydia giggles a bit, and replies: "Yeah, he is! I love creepy stuff."

 

 Toby mutters: "Every day is practically Halloween around here."

 

 Lydia rolls her eyes and says: "No duh! That's why I love living here!" She turns to Naruto and says: "Hey, you wanna meet someone who's REALLY cool, though?" Naruto nods, and Lydia calls out three times, "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" And as thunder crackles in the room, and the library momentarily fills with fog, who should appear but the Ghost With the Most himself?

 

Beetlejuice hugs Lydia, and says, "Hey, Lyds! What crazy stuff we got planned for today? Putting spiders in Frank's wine? Maybe going inside these books and wrecking their stories?"

 

 Lydia giggles and says, "No, Beej. I just wanted to introduce you to my new friend. This is Naruto."

 

 Beetlejuice grins, and he says, "Hey there, new bud!" Beetlejuice then takes out a business card, reading Beetlejuice: The Ghost With the Most. BIO-EXORCIST - Guaranteed to cleanse the living from your home, just say it once, say it twice, say it thrice, or your money back (possibly).

 

Naruto blinks, and asks, "Bio-exorcist, huh? How's that going for you?"

 

 Beetlejuice shrugs, and says, "It's a living. Anyways, I only got one rule if you wanna be my pal - Don't . HURT. LYDIA. " And Beetlejuice punctuates each word as he slowly transforms into a hybrid of himself and a sandworm. In a deep, warped voice, Beetlejuice screams, "GOT IT!?" And as he says this, a wall of fire appears, and Naruto can hear the screams of the damned being tortured. 

 

Naruto, absolutely terrified, nods and meekly says, "Wouldn't dream of it anyway."

 

 Beetlejuice turns back to normal, and cheerfully says, "Good. Now if you'll excuse me, my soap opera's on. Rick's evil twin Rick is marrying their sister, but neither of them know it!" With a loud, cackling laugh, Beetlejuice disappears!

 

 Lydia leans in and whispers, "He's always like that. You'll get used to it."

 

 Naruto replies, "Noted."

 

 Toby says, "Come on, we only have the pool and ballroom left to see. Bye, Lydia! Talk to you later!"

 

 Lydia, having gone back to reading, waves goodbye as Toby, Ebony, and Naruto leave the library. And so, the two move on to the pool - the room is large and spacious, with a large pool taking up the majority of it. And in the middle, resting on a pool chair and reading Anton LaVey’s “The Satanic Bible”, is Wednesday Addams, now 18 years old; she wears nothing but a black bikini, her hair now long and flowing to her mid-back, and sunglasses. She stares at Toby, Naruto, and Ebony for a bit before going back to reading.

 

Naruto asks, “Not the friendly or outgoing type, huh?”

 

Ebony answers, “Nope.”

 

Naruto shrugs, and asks, “Wanna go for a swim?”

 

Wednesday answers from her pool chair, “Come anywhere near me, and you will suffer!”

 

Naruto, visibly cringing, mutters, “That’s a no, then…” And so, they moved onto the ballroom, where they see three people: Rocky Horror, a buff blonde and tanned creation of Frank, his ‘sister’ Roxy Horror (who resembles Carolyn Jones), and Frank’s ‘groupie’ Columbia. Columbia is listening to some jazz on the jukebox, before she stops and turns to the group.

 

Columbia says, her voice having a thick Brooklyn accent, “Hi there! You must be the new guy! Frankie told me to keep an eye out for ya!” Naruto walks over to Columbia, and before he can shake her hand, she suddenly pulls him into a quick yet passionate kiss; Naruto is left stunned, and Columbia smirks. Columbia says, “Just to give you a taste of what to expect!”

 

Before Naruto can introduce himself to Rocky and Roxy, however, Coop and D.O.G. burst in! Coop says: “Naruto, you need to come with us! The city’s in trouble!”

 

Naruto scowls and says, “Why should I care? I’m not even a Power Ranger anymore!” He gestures to Columbia and says, “I have new, better friends and a home now! So you can just shove it, the both of you!”

 

D.O.G. puts a hand on Naruto’s shoulder and says, “Is that what this is about? Are you so blinded by arrogance that you’re so willing to abandon your teammates, your family, just so you can spend your days partaking in mindless pleasure?” He turns to Columbia. “No offense.”

 

Columbia shrugs. “Eh. None taken.”

 

Naruto stares at D.O.G., at a loss for words as he realizes just what an IDIOT he’s been. Almost crying, Naruto clenches his fist and says, “....I’m sorry. I was so concerned with my own wants…”

 

D.O.G. smiles and says, “You’re forgiven. Now come on, we need to stop Love Bug!” With that, Naruto, D.O.G., and Coop teleport away! 

 

Rocky Horror blinks and says, “Tell me you all saw that.”

 

Roxy nods and says, “Yup.”

 

Columbia says, “Uh huh.”

 

Toby says, “Capiche.”

 

Ebony says, “Can confirm.”

 

-------------------------------------

 

Naruto meets up with the other Rangers at the amusement park, where Love Bug continues to terrorize! Love Bug turns to the Rangers and says, “Ooh, more cute couples for me to play with!” And she fires a beam at Naruto and Usagi. Thankfully, the two of them manage to dodge the love beam just in time!

 

Naruto turns to Usagi and says, “That was close! Ready to squash this bug?”

 

Usagi says, “You know it!” 

 

And the Rangers retrieve their morphers and say in unison: “It’s Morphin’ Time!”

 

Naruto says: “Red Mars Leo power!”

 

Lettuce, in the middle of raiding a now-abandoned hot dog cart, stops and turns. Hia mouth now full of hot dogs, Lettuce says: “Green Sagittarius Jupiter Power!”

 

Pinkie says, “Pink Taurus Jupiter Power!”

 

Starhawk says, “Blue Pisces Mercury Power!”

 

Firehawk says, “Black Capricorn Saturn Power!”

 

And Usagi finishes with! “Sailor Moon! Cosmic Power!” 

 

And the Rangers pose and shout in unison, “Power Rangers Multiverse Force!”

 

Love Bug scoffs and says, “Oh, how cute. More Rangers. Well, I’ll show you what I did to that last bunch!” And she summons several smaller youma to attack! The Rangers all charge forth, stronger than ever, as a hit song by Joan Jett plays! Joan Jett sings: “Midnight gettin' uptight, Where are you? You said you'd meet me, now it's quarter to two.I know I'm hangin' but I'm still wantin' you. Hey Jack, It's a fact they're talkin' in town.

I turn my back and you're messin' around. I'm not really jealous, don't like lookin' like a clown. I think of you every night and day. You took my heart and you took my pride away. I hate myself for loving you. Can't break free from the things that you do. I wanna walk but I run back to you. That's why I hate myself for loving you. Daylight spent the night without you. But I've been dreamin' 'bout the lovin' you do, I won't be as angry 'bout the hell you put me through. Hey Man, betcha you can treat me right. You just don't know what you was missin' last night. I wanna see your face and say forget it just for spite.I think of you every night and day. You took my heart and you took my pride away. I hate myself for loving you. Can't break free from the, the things that you do. I wanna walk but I run back to you. That's why I hate myself for loving you. I think of you every night and day. You took my heart and you took my pride awayI hate myself for loving you. Can't break free from the things that you do.I wanna walk but I run back to you. That's why I hate myself for loving you. I hate myself for loving you. Can't break free from the the things that you do. I wanna walk but I run back to you. That's why I hate myself for loving you. I hate myself, For loving you. I hate myself, For loving you. I hate myself. For loving you. I hate myself, I hate myself for loving you. I hate myself for loving you…” And the epic song ends as the Rangers defeat the minion youma! Now that the smaller ones have been dealt with, the Rangers turn to Love Bug!

Naruto says: “Now you have nothing, Love Bug! So stand down!”

Love Bug says: “Oh, and YOU five have something?”

Naruto nods and says: “FIRE BLADE!”

Starhawk says: “CHAIN AXE!”

Lettuce says: “THUNDER HAMMER!”

Pinkie says: “LASER PISTOL!”

Firehawk says: “SHADOW DAGGERS!”

Usagi finishes with: “EMPEROR’S BLADE!”

And all six Rangers combine their weapons, and say in unison, say: “POWER BLASTER CANNON!” before firing at Love Bug, who explodes!

Meanwhile, back in Queen Beryl’s fortress, Queen Beryl grumbles and says, “No matter. We have more than enough energy for our quota.”

Kunziite offers her some leftovers from his and Zoisite’s date, and Queen Beryl begins eating ravenously, as if she were drowning her sorrows in alcohol.

Back in the Juice Bar, all the Rangers, Multiverse Force and Thunder, are sitting around the table with drinks. Sampson says: “Well, I’m glad that’s over. I did enjoy making out with Patsy, admittedly.” And Patsy slaps Sampson, who rubs his cheek. Sampson says: “Sorry.”

Patsy says: “It’s fine.”

Naruto turns to Firehawk, and says: “Look, Firehawk….” before Firehawk shushes him with a sudden and passionate kiss! After several minutes, Firehawk breaks it and grins.

Firehawk, in a low seductive voice, says: “All is forgiven….lover boy.”

Coop fake-gags and says: “Get a ROOM, you two!”

Naruto chuckles and says: “Oh, don’t worry, Coop. We’ll have an entire CASTLE to get freaky in now!”

Lettuce interrupts, and says: “Sorry to interrupt, you three, but I have an important question for one future Mrs. Retthi Manchot…” and he pulls out the necklace he had proposed to Pinkie with almost a year before and says, “Pinkie….will you marry me again?”

And Pinkie practically crushes Lettuce in a hug and kisses him repeatedly while saying: “Yes! Yes, Destiny!” And the episode ends with all the Rangers laughing! /

 

[Fanfiction Reruns]

And time slows WAY down for Fruit Freak, as she fires tomatoes in slow motion, but D.O.G., uses his Cat of Nine Tails to whip them all away harmlessly!

Krash'ir says: “Hey! CAN Fruit Freak ACTUALLY fire tomatoes?”

Samson says: “Well, they ARE technically a fruit, ALL fruits have SEEDS, you know!”

Fruit Freak says: “Well, TECHNICALLY, I'm going to be firing Watermelon SEED bombs at you!”

Patsy says: “Phoenix Wind!”

And she spins her spear around like an electric windmill propeller, blowing ALL of Fruit Freak's seeds back at her! Fruit Freak says: “I've got SUCH a splitting headache!”

Samson says: “And it's about to get worse! Patsy, do that wind trick again! I've got an idea! Let's see if I can combine my fire attack in my swords, with your wind technique!”

Patsy says: “Sounds like a plan!”

Samson says: “Red Dragon Fire!”

And Samson's swords glow red hot, and he puts the flaming swords in front of Patsy's spinning spear, and the wind BLOWS the flames at Fruit Freak, scorching her, and bubbling up her insides!” Fruit Freak says: “YOW! I'm boiling hot!”

Coop says: “I think it's time to finish her off! Let's use the Thunder Cannon!”

The other Rangers say: “Right!”

All the Power Rangers say: “Activate Thunder Cannon!”

And a green cannon, with a Golden Dragon head, appears in their hands! D.O.G., says: “Channel your auras together...”

Fruit Freak says: “No, wait!”

All the Power Rangers say: “Fire Thunder Cannon!”

And the Aura energies from all five Thunder Rangers fire at Fruit Freak, blasting her into her individual fruits! The people she turned into fruits, are then returned to normal! Samson says: “All right, we did it! Our first monster down!” /

Queen Beryl says: “NO! It CAN'T be over!”

Kunzite says: “I thought this might happen, which is why I enacted a little extra magic ritual on this Youma. It's about to get a WHOLE lot bigger!” /

Than suddenly, the fruits that came apart from Fruit Freak begin to vibrate, and they begin to REJOIN together, and GROW into a gigantic monster! Fruit Freak says: “Okay, Power Punks! It's time for Round Two of this fight, and I WON'T be playing NICE this time!”

Krash'ir says: “I HATE it when these monsters WON'T stay down!”

D.O.G., says: “We can handle them! We need THUNDERZORD power, now!” /

Coop says: “Green Lion Thunderzord Power!” / Patsy says: “Pink Phoenix Thunderzord power!” / Krash'ir says: “Blue Kirin Thunderzord Power!” / D.O.G., says: “Yellow Korin Thunderzord power!” / Samson says: “Red Dragon Thunderzord Power!” /

The five Thunderzords come together, as a familiar theme song plays. The song sings: “They've got, a power and force that you've never seen before. They've got the ability to morph and to even up the score. No one, will ever take them down. The power lies on their si-yi-yi-yi-ide!”

Samson says: “Let's go!”

And they all jump into their cock-pits, and they are pleasantly surprised to see, that the insides of their individual zords, now look like the inside of the Tigerzord! Coop says: “This is the Green Thunder Ranger, checking in!”

Krash'ir says: “Blue Thunder Ranger checking in, all systems go!”

D.O.G., says: “Yellow Thunder Ranger checking in, ready to fight!”

Patsy says: “Pink Thunder Ranger checking in, NICE stereo!”

Samson says: “Red Thunder Ranger checking in, time to form the Thunder Megazord!”

And the five Zords form together, into the familiar form of the Thunder Megazord! Fruit Freak says: “The Thunder Megazord?! That's SO 1995!”

D.O.G., says: “It may be retro, like my brother, but it's STILL more than a match for you! Let's get up close and personal with THIS beast! Our fight's not over yet!” /

State of Shock: Part III

Captain Retro narrates, and he says: “Previously, on Power Rangers Multiverse Force; Dr. Maniac retreated to the safety and security of his fortress. Having no choice but to go inside, the Power Rangers, along with the Legendary Rangers, Sans, the unexpected help of Bionic Gorilla, now known as Windsor T. Gorilla, and myself, we have battled against six of Dr. Maniac's most evil monsters, and Scorpina. After doing battle against Mettaton Exe., Dr. Maniac suffered a villainous breakdown, and decided to take drastic measures, to fight against the Power Rangers. After injecting five Super Psycho vials into himself, and doing a forced Fusion Dance with Mettaton Exe., Dr. Maniac has now mutated into a gigantic cybernetic beast, threatening to destroy Planet Onyx. It will take the combined fire-power from all of the Rangers, to finish him off once, and for all!” /

Words appear on the screen, and they say: “Now, Present Day, the second to last Tuesday of 2178, Planet Onyx, Dr. Maniac's RUINED Fortress.”

The mutated, gigantic Dr. Maniac, is staring down the gauntlet, at seven megazord formations! Dr. Maniac, in a booming voice, says: “NOW, THAT'S HARDLY FAIR! SEVEN AGAINST ONE! BUT WITH MY NEW BODY, COMES NEW ABILITIES! YOU REMEMBER MY FRIENDS, THAT YOU KILLED IN MY FORTRESS?! WELL, SAY HELLO TO THEIR BIG BROTHER VERSIONS, THAT I'LL CREATE, JUST FOR YOU!!!!”

And twisting and contorting his own body, he produces GIGANTIC versions of Blast Bot, Transparent Tank (STILL in Lettuce's Green Aura Color blast), Evil Eraser, Brain Beast, Feminine Flame, and Psycho Puppet! Pinkie says: “EW! Gross! I don't think that I'm EVER going to be able to 'Un-see' that!”

Billy says: “We beat these beasts before! We can beat them again! Everyone, take the beast that you took down the last time! Tommy, you and Usagi go after Dr. Maniac!”

Tommy says: “I'm on it!”

Dr. Maniac asks: “Shall we tango?”

Usagi says: “Don't make jokes like that! Let's see if MY powers will work with YOUR Zord! Calling on the Sailor Moon Staff!”

And to Tommy's surprise, a GIGANTIC version of Usagi's Sailor Moon Staff appears in the arms of the Tigerzord! Tommy says: “Wow! I didn't know you could do that!”

Usagi says: “I've been practicing on our Simulation Planet, but I haven't HAD the occasion to try it out before with a REAL battle experience! This is my FIRST real test with this!”

Tommy says: “All right, Usagi! You're familiar with YOUR staff! You take the controls!”

Although Tommy can't see it, Usagi is blushing inside of her helmet, and she says: “Tommy, I'm SO flattered! In another time, in another place...well, it's not important! Let's focus on taking this creep DOWN, once and for all!”

Tommy says: “Right!”

Billy says: “Haven't used THIS trick for a while! Activate the MASTODON Shield!”

And Blast Bot BLASTS a bunch of rounds at the Dino Megazord, but the Mastodon Shield harmlessly absorbs all of his rounds! StarHawk says: “Looks like 1985 technology is no match for a 10,000 year old Megazord!”

Billy says: “Right! It's time to call upon the Power Sword!”

And the Power Sword streaks through the sky, and lands on the ground! The Dino Megazord picks it up, and glints it's eyes! Billy and StarHawk simultaneously says: “Power Sword Lightning Strike!”

And summoning lightning from the sky, The Dino Megazord swings the Power Sword, strikes THROUGH Blast Bot! It falls over, and PROMPTLY explodes on the ground!

Billy says: “That's one beast down, and six to go!”

Transparent Tank says: “You may be able to SEE me, but you STILL can't match me for PURE strength, when it comes to fire-power!”

Adam says: “Want to bet? The Zeo Megazord might surprise you! Activate Zeo Ranger I Battle Helmet Mode!”

And the helmet on the Zeo Megazord switches to have the helmet of Zeo Ranger One's Zord! Lettuce says: “Fire Power Blast!”

And Lettuce pushes the firing button! Although Transparent Tank fires a powerful energy shot at the Zeo Zord's blast, the Zeo Zord's attack is MORE powerful, and HITS Transparent Tank, knocking it back! Transparent Tank asks: “Is that ALL you've got?!”

Adam says: “You wish! Activate Zeo Ranger II Battle Helmet Mode!”

And the helmet on the Zeo Megazord switches to have the helmet of Zeo Ranger Two's Zord! Lettuce says: “Fire Double Blaster!”

And Lettuce pushes the firing button! This time, Transparent Tank tries to BLOCK the attack with his tough Tank exterior, but he STILL gets knocked back, and falls over! Transparent Tank says: “You LITTLE cheats! Why don't you try fighting ME fair and square?!”

Lettuce scoffs, and he says: “NOW you WANT to talk FAIRNESS?! Sorry, but you're a day late, and a dollar short!”

Adam says: “I agree! Activate Zeo Ranger 4 Battle Helmet Mode!”

And the helmet on the Zeo Megazord switches to have the helmet of Adam's Zeo Zord! Lettuce says: “Fire Lightning Blast!”

Transparent Tank says: “No lightning can hurt--!”

But Transparent Tank is INSTANTLY proven wrong, as Transparent Tank is SHOCKED to its core, and becomes PARALYZED, and unable to move! Transparent Tank says: “My joints have all FRIED!!!!”

Adam says: “It's time to finish him off! Activate Zeo Ranger V Battle Helmet Mode!”

And the helmet on the Zeo Megazord switches back to have it's normal Zeo Ranger Five's Zord! Lettuce says: “It's time to call upon the Zeo Sword!”

And wielding it's powerful Sword, the Zeo Megazord swings it at Transparent Tank, and Transparent Tank says: “I'm heading for the SCRAP HEAP!!!!”

And Transparent Tank falls down, and explodes! Lettuce says: “Scratch one Tank!”

BlackHawk asks: “Andros, who is THAT big, pink freak?!”

Andros says: “That's Evil Eraser! I don't know HOW we're going to get close enough to fight him, without him blasting his erase ray in our faces!”

BlackHawk says: “I think I might, though!”

BlackHawk activates his communicator, and says: “Alpha 7, can you read me?!”

Alpha 7 says: “I read you loud and clear, BlackHawk!”

BlackHawk says: “Good! I need you to fly the Astro Mega Ship to blast at Evil Eraser, and distract him so WE can deliver the finishing blow!”

Alpha 7 says: “I'm on it! D.E.C.A., you know what to do!”

D.E.C.A., says: “Activating interception attack routine, #3.”

And the Astro Mega Ship flies in, and starts shooting energy blasts at Evil Eraser, tricking it into firing its Eraser Rays at it! BlackHawk says: “Now's our chance!”

Andros says: “Brilliant! You know YOUR Zord better than I do, you do the honors!”

BlackHawk says: “Right! To quote George Harrison of The Beatles; Here Comes the Sun! Solar Energy Blast Attack!!!!”

And firing a BIG yellow blast of energy, the Lion Zord fires its solar energy at Evil Eraser! Evil Eraser is KNOCKED down to the ground, and PROMPTLY explodes! BlackHawk says: “Personally, I like the type of gun you ONLY need to fire once, like THAT!”

Brain Beast says: “You WON'T be taking me down a SECOND time, because THIS time, my brain waves are AMPLIFIED!”

And Brain Beast begins shooting electricity at the Lost Galaxy Megazord! Pinkie says: “He's got us in some electric-magnetic dead-lock, I can't break free!”

Lettuce says: “Hold on, Pinkie Pie! Activate Zeo Ranger III Battle Helmet!”

And the helmet on the Zeo Megazord, switches to have Zeo Ranger Three's Zord on it! Adam says: “Ground strike!”

Lettuce says: “On it!”

And Lettuce pushes a button, and the Zeo Megazord POUNDS on the ground, and the ripple effect CAUSES a gigantic Earthen pillar to appear underneath Brain Beast, and KNOCKS him off balance, causing it's electric blasts to HIT itself! Brain Beast says: WOAH! My senses are all scattered!”

Pinkie says: “Thank you, Lettuce, that was CLOSE!”

Lettuce says: “Anytime for you, Pinkie! No beast is going to hurt YOU on my watch!”

Pinkie says: “We can't take another blast like that!”

Karone says: “I've got an idea! I just hope it works! Lights of Orion, ACTIVATE!”

And to Karone's surprise, Golden Bracelets appear on ALL of the Rangers, and all the Zords now have a GOLDEN Glow to them! Karone says: “Wow! I didn't THINK that would work! Apparently, you just need at least FOUR other Rangers with you to activate the technique, not JUST your four other Rangers from the same team!”

Pinkie says: “Let's put this fire-power to good use! Time to use the Lost Galaxy Power Sword!”

Brain Beast says: “Have MERCY on me!”

Karone says: “MERCY THIS!!!!”

The Lost Galaxy Megazord STRIKES at Brain Beast, but instead of falling over, it evilly says: “If I GO DOWN, I'm TAKING ALPHYS WITH ME!!!!”

And Brain Beast FALLS Toward Alphys, threatening to CRUSH her! Sans says: “SOMEONE HELP HER!!!!”

Captain Retro FLIES towards her, and says: “Hold ON, Alphys!”

Captain Retro gets to the yellow chandelier that Alphys is on, and Captain Retro says: “Kamehameha!!!!”

And Captain Retro FIRES a blue wave of energy at Brain Beast, and not only STOPS it from falling, but actually PUSHES it into the vacuum of outer space! Brain Beast can only say: “Curses! Foiled AGAIN!”

And Brain Beast EXPLODES as soon as it leaves the atmosphere! Captain Retro undoes the chains holding Alphys, and Alphys says: “Thanks, Captain Retro, I thought I was FINISHED!”

Captain Retro says: “Not on MY watch, you're not!”

Captain Retro activates his communicator, and says: “Alpha 7, warp Alphys, Sans, and Windsor T. Gorilla into the Astro Mega Ship! We'll finish up here!”

Alpha 7 says: “I'm on it, Captain!”

Alphys turns around, and says: “Good luck, Captain Retro!”

And Alphys, Sans, and Windsor are warped onto the Astro Mega Ship! Captain Retro says: “Well, that's one task down. Now, all that's left is Doctor Maniac!”

Feminine Flame says: “You may have beaten me with BlackHawk's help, but I will NOT go down a SECOND time!”

Kira says: “Don't bet on it! The Dino Thunder Megazord has got more gadgets on it than a Swiss Army Knife! Activate the Parasaurus Zord!”

And a Green Dinozord appears on one of the arms of the Dino Thunder Megazord, and Naruto says: “Double Scissors attack!”

And with lightning fast speed, the Dino Megazord, ATTACKS Feminine Flame with a lightning cut attack, and the Megazord doesn't even GET hot! Feminine Flame says: “YOW! How did you do that?!”

Kira says: “It's all a matter of timing! Speaking of, time for the Ankylosaurus Zord!”

And an Orange Dinozord appears on one of the arms of the Dino Thunder Megazord! Feminine Flame says: “You think you're SUCH hot stuff, get a taste of THIS!!!!”

And Feminine Flame begins spewing flames at them, but Kira says: “Activate Ankylo Shield!”

And the Ankylosaurus Zord acts as a spinning shield, protecting it from the fire produced by Feminine Flame, until it completely EXHAUSTS itself! Feminine Flame says: “Ooh, I'm all out of FIRE, and I'm all out of power!”

Kira says: “Now's our chance!”

Naruto says: “Right! Double Drill Attack!”

And using it's twin drills, it STRIKES at Feminine Flame, Feminine Flame FALLS down to the ground, and LITERALLY explodes in flames! Naruto says: “Now, THAT was a hot battle!”

Psycho Puppet says: “It's time for ME, to PULL the strings on you, for REAL, this time!

And Psycho Puppet SHOOTS a bunch of puppet strings at the S.P.D. Megazord, and starts to DRAG it toward Psycho Puppet! Anubis 'Doggie' Kruger says: “Bad move, Psycho Puppet! You want to play at Tug of War? You're going to lose!”

The S.P.D. Megazord REACHES for the puppet strings, pulls ON Psycho Puppet, and Psycho Puppet flies STRAIGHT into the fists of the S.P.D. Megazord, and the S.P.D. Megazord TIES Psycho Puppets' arms, and makes Psycho Puppet HIT himself with his arms! FireHawk says: “Come on! Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself!”

Psycho Puppet says: “I cannot! You're even making it an EXTRA irony, by implying the fact that I'M the one who is hitting myself!”

FireHawk says: “We've got this puppet on a string! Doggie, do the honors!”

Doggie says: “Right! S.P.D., Final Judgement!”

And it FIRES a big energy blast at Psycho Puppet, it's puppet strings disintegrate, and it falls to the ground and explodes! FireHawk says: “Too bad you didn't have a conscience to help you learn the difference between right and wrong!”

Meanwhile, the Tigerzord is brandishing the gigantic Sailor Moon Staff in Dr. Maniac's mutated face, hitting him in every single direction, not letting up for a minute! Tommy says: “We've got him on the ropes! Time for a little fire-power!”

And Tommy activates the fire orb, and the Tigerzord shoots flames at Dr. Maniac, and he falls over! Dr. Maniac says: “This is ABSURD! How am I getting beaten by ONE lousy Zord!”

Billy says: “It's about to get a lot WORSE for you! We've BEATEN all your gigantic creations, and you're the LAST menace standing!” /

Meanwhile, back at Core Earth, the Thunder Megazord is busy throwing its STRONGEST punches, kicks, and throws at Fruit Freak, but NOTHING is keeping her down! Fruit Freak says: “You can't defeat me! I'm part of a balanced DIET, after all!”

Coop says: “How are we going to beat this freak? Nothing is working!”

Than Omnus contacts the Thunder Rangers on their communicators, and says: “Thunder Rangers, I just received news from the Planet Onyx! The Power Rangers have beaten ALL of Dr. Maniac's evil beasts, and now, only Dr. Maniac remains! Use your Power Sword, and use it to deliver the finishing blow to Fruit Freak!”

D.O.G., says: “Omnus is right! If the Power Rangers can win THEIR fight, we can win ours!”

Samson says: “Than let's do it! Activate the Power Sword!”

And the Thunder Megazord reaches for the Sword within its sheath, and pulls it out! Fruit Freak says: “Uh-oh! That's a REALLY sharp knife!”

Patsy says: “Activate Thunder Lightning Strike!”

And with one SWIFT swipe, the Thunder Megazord strikes at Fruit Freak, and it says: “I'm going to that Juice Bar in the sky!”

And Fruit Freak falls down and explodes! Krash'ir says: “Now THAT'S how you beat a monster, and OLD School, at that!” /

Queen Beryl puts her head in her hands, and MOANS in frustration! Queen Beryl says: “I can't believe a team of five, almost COMPLETELY inexperienced Rangers, totally thrashed our Youma! What a complete WASTE today was!”

Abaddon says: “Not quite! Look at the energy we've gathered for Queen Metallia!”

And they look at the container reading, indicating the energy needed to revive Queen Metallia! Abaddon says: “Remember our true goal. Even if your Youma should fall, the energy they generate ALL goes toward reviving Queen Metallia! Fruit Freak has already generated 5%, all by herself. It may take some time, but it will ALL be worth it, once Queen Metallia is brought back to life!”

Queen Beryl says: “Quite right! Perhaps today WASN'T a total loss, after all! Everything is proceeding EXACTLY as we have planned!” /

Meanwhile, back on Onyx, Dr. Maniac is positively FURIOUS! Dr. Maniac says: “I am SICK and TIRED of you Power Rangers always RUINING my plans! Do you honestly think you can stop ME?! I am the Purely EVIL Rick! And there's NO force in the Multiverse, powerful enough to DESTROY me!”

Tommy says: “You're wrong, Dr. Maniac! We're destined to destroy you! Because we've got something that you'll NEVER have! The power of team-work! And with our combined fire-power, we can bring even YOU down! Captain Retro, you've got a song that can get the job done?”

Captain Retro says: “You know it, and I think it's a song, that you, Billy, AND Adam will be familiar with! The Red Hot Chili Peppers 1989 hit cover version of “Higher Ground!” /

And the seven Megazords begin utilizing all of their attacks on Dr. Maniac, while the Red Hot Chili Peppers begin rocking, by singing their hit cover version, of “Higher Ground!” / (Instrumental Opening) The Red Hot Chili Peppers sing: “People, keep on learning! Soldiers keep on warring! World keep on turning cause it won't be too long! Powers keep on lying! While your people, keep on dying! World keep on turning cause it won't be too long! I'm so darn glad they let me try again, cause my last time on Earth I lived a whole world of sin! I'm so glad that I know more than I knew then! Gonna keep on trying till I reach the highest ground! Teachers keep on teaching! Preachers keep on preaching! World keep on turning cause it won't be too long! Oh, no. Lovers keep on loving! While believers keep on believing! Sleepers just stop sleeping! 'Cause it won't be too long!!!! Oh, no! I'm so darn glad they let me try again, cause my last time around, I lived a whole world of sin! I'm so glad that I know more than I knew then! Gonna keep on trying till I reach the highest ground! And Stevie knows nobody's gonna bring me down! Till I reach the highest ground! Cause me and Stevie, we're gonna be sailing on the funky sound! Till I reach the highest ground! Busting out and I'll break you out, cause I'm sailing on. Till I reach the highest ground! Just sailing on, sailing on the higher ground! Till I reach the highest ground!!!!” (Instrumental Finish!) /

And the epic song ends as ALL the Megazords pull out ALL their respective finishing moves, and HIT the mutated Dr. Maniac SIMULTANEOUSLY!!!! Dr. Maniac screams: “NO!!!! My body is DISINTEGRATING!!!! NO, No, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” (BOOM!!!!!!!!!!! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!!!!)

Sans says: “They DID IT!!!!”

Tommy sighs, and says: “It's over. It's FINALLY over!”

Kira says: “Even Dr. Maniac couldn't survive THAT!”

Billy says: “Come on, everybody. Let's get back on the Astro Mega Ship.” /

The Rangers have all de-morphed, and are now back on the Astro Mega Ship. Everyone is giving hugs to everybody, but Lettuce is getting a special treat! Pinkie says: “Lettuce, I wanted to personally thank you, for helping to save my life today.”

Lettuce says: “Come on, Pinkie. I was just doing my job as a Ranger. You know that I'd do it for anybody, whether they were a fellow Power Ranger or not.”

Pinkie says: “Still, I think you deserve a little reward for all your trouble.”

And Pinkie gives Lettuce a BIG kiss on his beak! Lettuce's cheeks turn red, and he dreamily says: “I could get USED to getting THIS type of reward!”

Captain Retro says: “Alphys, sorry about that whole Mettaton thing. You know if we COULD have used mercy with him, we would have.”

Alphys says: “Well, perhaps THIS time, maybe I'll be able TO fix Mettaton so that he WON'T malfunction and try to kill people LIKE he did the last time!”

BlackHawk says: “I'm all for that. But what I DON'T understand is why Dr. Maniac tried to kidnap you in the first place!”

Alphys snaps to realization, and says: “I can't believe I forgot! Right before he captured me, I FINALLY figured out a way to DESTROY the Dark Kaiser for GOOD!”

Captain Retro says: “Really?! What is it?!”

Alphys nervously says: “Well, you're not going to like it, though. It appears as though the body that Dark Kaiser has been using, isn't REALLY his body, it's just an empty shell controlled by his mind. The Dark Kaiser's REAL body, is ACTUALLY the Dark Kaiser's very own FORTRESS itself, located WITHIN the DREADFUL Nazi Realm! If you WANT to finish the Dark Kaiser off for good, and we DO need to, we have no choice, but to eventually venture INTO the Nazi Realm, fight the Nazi's within, and DESTROY Dark Kaiser's Fortress itself. Than, and ONLY than, can Dark Kaiser be killed off for good.”

Captain Retro says: “Well, it can't be helped. But just know this. The Dog Guardian can only ALLOW me to protect you while you're in THIS dimension, or an EXACT mirror dimension of this dimension. If you go into the Nazi realm, I'm afraid you must do it on your own. I cannot be allowed to interfere in that dimension.”

Usagi says: “Don't worry, Captain Retro. We'll cross that bridge, when we come to it!”

Andros says: “Guys, I'm picking up a visual transmission from Omnus and the Magi-Mother.”

Adam says: “Well, what are you waiting for? Put them on-screen.”

Andros turns on the visual screen, and Omnus, and the Magi-Mother appear, with the FIVE Thunder Rangers behind them. Tommy says: “Wow! New Ranger powers! And they look a LOT like my Tigerzord power!”

The Magi-Mother says: “Captain Retro, I want to thank you for your decision to entrust the Thunder Morphers, to a new generation of individuals. These individuals have been selected, to help and defend Core Earth whenever necessary. We WELCOME them now, into the POWER RANGERS family!”

And the Thunder Rangers unmask themselves, although Coop has to shrink back to his normal size BEFORE he can do so! Karone says: “Samson, Patsy, Coop, D.O.G., and Krash'ir! You're the NEW Thunder Rangers!”

Captain Retro says: “Wow! My own brother is a Power Ranger, now! I guess it runs in the family!”

BlackHawk says: “Mine, to. I guess that means I'll have to take Aura Training with you, a little MORE seriously now!”

Windsor says: “Congratulations, Samson and Patsy, on becoming Thunder Rangers, you two really deserve it!”

Omnus says: “And congratulations, Windsor, on becoming one of the good guys! Any help you can give to us, will be very much appreciated by us in any future endeavors to come!”

Usagi says: “That's not all! We defeated Dr. Maniac, and Alphys has figured out how we can destroy the Dark Kaiser once and for all!”

Omnus says: “The Dark Kaiser can wait, for the time being. You have all gone through a terrific battle, and I am proud of all of you. Tommy, we will soon return you to your own time. It may have been only a short time for you, but Scorpina's WAITING for you, back in the year 2028. It's time to fight with Scorpina, one last time, and ensure your legacy, as a Power Ranger.”

Adam asks: “Are you nervous, Tommy?”

Tommy sighs, and says: “A little. But I know that whatever happens, I know the future of the Power Rangers, is in good hands.”

StarHawk says: “Thank you, Tommy. To hear you say that to us, really means a lot to us.”

Andros says: “Come on guys, let's ALL go home! After all, soon, it WILL be, Christmas Day!”

Naruto says: “I'm just glad the threat of Dr. Maniac is FINALLY all over!”

And the Astro Mega Ship flies BACK to Core Earth, with The Pretenders singing: “Hear them sing; soon it will be Christmas Day.” /

But BACK on the Planet Onyx, a SINISTER Psygorn, looks through the RUINS of Dr. Maniac's fortress, and FINDS what he's LOOKING for! The PULSATING, Powerful MASS of intellect, of Dr. Maniac's STILL living BRAIN!!!! Psygorn picks up Dr. Maniac's brain, and Psygorn says: “Oh, you're not OVER with Dr. Maniac, YET!!!!”

Pysgorn pulls out BLUEPRINTS, that reveal DETAILED instructions, for a COMPLETELY cybernetic body, for Dr. Maniac's brain, and Psygorn says: “WE have BARELY begun! MWA, HA, HA!!!!” /

(Stinger) A Gray Rat, walks into a prison on Planet Onyx. He walks up to a guard, who's guarding the place. The guard says: “What exactly are YOU, sir?!”

The Rat says: “Well, I'm NOT a regular MONSTER, sir. I just happen to be the RAT guardian, Templeton. And, I understand, you have a, Mr. Cornelius Doo, here. I'm here, because I want to make him an offer, as part of modifying his sentence, and hopefully redeeming him in the eyes of millions.”

The guard sighs, and says: “All right. We'll let you see him.”

The guard opens the door into the inner jail cells, and Templeton walks past a bunch of doors, that contain FORMER “Power Rangers” monsters, including Eye Guy, Peckster, Commander Crayfish, Pirantis Head, Bloom of Doom, the Scarlet Sentinel, and Silverhorns. Templeton walks all the way down to the last door, which reads: “19-77”. Templeton opens the door, and shines light on a VERY familiar, small, brown puppy. In a SCRAPPY voice, the little puppy says: “Yeah, what do YOU want?!”

Templeton says: “Mr. SCRAPPY Cornelius Doo, have I got a preposition for you!” /

Episode Notes: Dr. Maniac's body is FINALLY destroyed at the end of this three-parter, but if Psygorn's blueprints are any hint, this may NOT be the last we ever HEAR from Dr. Maniac! Samson, Patsy, Coop, D.O.G., and Krash'ir, are officially welcomed into the Power Rangers family as the Thunder Rangers! Alphys reveals that the only way to destroy the Dark Kaiser for good, is that the Power Rangers WILL eventually have to venture into the Nazi Realm in order to DESTROY the Dark Kaiser's fortress, once and for all! Songs included in this three-parter are “Torture, State of Shock”, and the Red Hot Chili Pepper's cover version of “Higher Ground”. Eris is officially introduced into the Multiverse with this three-parter, and Radiguet's REAL voice, is revealed to sound like Adam Driver's. Lettuce and Pinkie Pie more or less, officially make up with this episode. Bionic Gorilla makes a “Heel-Face Turn” and joins the good guys under his real name, Windsor T. Gorilla, from “My Gym Partner's a Monkey”. First time an episode has concluded with a stinger, and it involves Templeton and Scrappy-Doo from “Scooby Doo” in some way. /

Personal Notes: I really want to thank everyone who stuck with us during these long, hard, uncertain times. It hasn't been easy for us, but we wanted to continue this series for you, our wonderful fans. Whom without, writing this series would not be as fulfilling as it currently is. We write this series for you, to remind you that no matter how hard something is, it can ALWAYS be conquered in the end. I hope you enjoyed reading this episode, as much as I did writing it. Enough said, true believers! /

[Fanfiction Reruns]

Spoiler

(Warning: Walls of Text Ahead)

(Cold Open):

The show opens up on Samson and Patsy, now the Red and Pink Thunder Rangers respectively, beginning to fight against Fruit Freak! Fruit Freak says: “Power Rangers you may be, but you will NEVER defeat me!”

Samson scoffs, and he says: “You're kidding, right? Do you have ANY idea of the kinds of things I USED to have to endure at Camp Kidney before BlackHawk came along? THIS is a picnic!”

Patsy says: “Speaking of, it's time to blend you up good! Hi-ya!”

And she throws a good punch at Fruit Freak, and hits it in its mango chest, but her fist, and arm begin SINKING into it! Patsy says: “Samson, help me! It's pulling me IN!!!!”

Fruit Freak says: “You're not going to devour ME! I'm going to devour YOU!!!!”

Samson gets REALLY angry, and he says: “Devour THIS!!!!”

And his fist UNEXPECTEDLY powers up with fire, and he punches it at Fruit Freak! The shock is enough, that she releases Patsy, and Fruit Freak now has char marks on her pineapple face! Fruit Freak says: “YOW! That hurt, you JERK!”

Patsy says: “Thanks, Samson!”

Samson says: “Wow. Did I do THAT?!”

On Samson's communicator, Omnus says: “You'll learn how to do MORE than that, in time. My name is Omnus, a mentor of the Power Rangers. Samson, as the Red Thunder Ranger, you will have a mastery over fire, Patsy, you will have a mastery over wind. Master your special powers, utilize your special weapons, and no monster will be able to defeat you.”

Patsy says: “That's good to hear, but how DO we access our weapons?”

Omnus says: “Simply put out your hands, concentrate your Aura power, and say, 'Activate, Thunder Weapons'!” /

Samson and Patsy both simultaneously say: “Activate, Thunder Weapons!”

In Patsy's arms, she gets a pretty, Phoenix Spear! And to Samson's surprise, he gets TWO Red Dragon Swords!

Patsy says: “Wait a minute, how come YOU got two weapons?!”

Samson giggles sheepishly, and he says: “I SWEAR, I'm NOT even TRYING! Besides, barring some unforeseen circumstance, you're ALWAYS going to have one more battle of experience than me!”

Patsy thinks about it, and she says: “True enough.”

Than suddenly, Krash'ir, and two streaks of green and yellow appear beside them. Samson asks: “More new Rangers?”

Krash'ir says: “I'll make the introductions brief. Green Thunder Ranger is Coop; Yellow Thunder Ranger is D.O.G., Red Thunder Ranger is Samson, and Pink Thunder Ranger is Patsy.”

Patsy says: “Come on! Why did you introduce me LAST?! I've had more Ranger experience than THEM, you know!”

Krash'ir says: “Yeah, by ONE battle, same as ME! Although, for the life of me, I can't REMEMBER who it was that I replaced. It's like a great big BLUR that wasn't there.”

Coop says: “We can argue about semantics later. For now, let's focus on the action at hand!”

Samson asks: “Do you two know how to access your Thunder Weapons?”

Coop says: “I happen to be a professional Aura user, as a Woo Foo Warrior.”

D.O.G., says: “And I've been studying with Adam, I'm ready for this!”

Coop and D.O.G., simultaneously say: “Activate Thunder Weapons!”

In Coop's arms, he gets a Green Lion Staff, and in D.O.G.'s arms, he gets a Cat of Nine Tails whip! D.O.G., says: “Weird. I was trying to summon a Morning Star whip! But then again, to paraphrase an old saying; 'Nine IS better than one'!”

Omnus talks on their communicators, and he says: “That's not all you can do. Coop, you have the ability to create Aura illusions, to fool your opponents. D.O.G., you can slow down time for the monsters, or speed up your own if necessary, in order to throw your opponent's timing off! And Krash'ir, you have the ability to master gravity. And I think you will like the weapon YOU summon!”

Krash'ir says: “All right, let's try it! Activate Thunder Weapon!”

And in her arms, she receives a pair of Blue Kirin Nunchuks! Fruit Freak mockingly says: “Ooh, how scary! Beware of the Jump Rope!”

And without even batting an eye, Krash'ir, THROWS her Nunchuks' at Fruit Freak, knocking her up and down in a frenzy of gravitational energy! Krash'ir than puts Fruit Freak down, and asks: “Well, how does it feel to have your BUTT handed to you by a mere 'Jump Rope'?”

Omnus speaks on their communicators, and says: “And when you all need the fire-power to finish them off, channel your Aura's to bring forth the Mighty Morphing Power Rangers' Thunder Cannon! I even had it modified, so that you can charge it and fire it faster! And of course, if the monster should grow, call forth the Thunder Zords! I took the liberty of modifying them, so that they no longer need parts from the Dino Zords in order to operate, as well as modifying their interiors and controls, in order to make them more battle efficient!”

Coop says: “You're the best, Omnus! Let's get ready for the REAL battle now, Rangers! Fruit Freak may not be an especially powerful monster, but it's STILL dangerous, just the same! I just hope wherever the OTHER Power Rangers are, they're handling THEIR battle as well as we do!” /

State of Shock: Part II

Captain Retro narrates, and he says: “Previously, on Power Rangers Multiverse Force; Dr. Maniac crossed the Moral Event Horizon, by capturing Mettaton, and kidnapping Alphys, to hold as as hostage. Omnus decided that Dr. Maniac could no longer get away with his scientific crimes, and henceforth, called on the help of seven Legendary Rangers, to help in our fight against Dr. Maniac. With the help of Sans, we have journeyed to Planet Onyx, where Dr. Maniac has rebuilt his original fortress from his battles against the Power Rangers Bionic Force. As we have no choice but to fight through, we're now staring down the gauntlet, of what might be Dr. Maniac's greatest threat ever, in order to stop the evil doctor once and for all!”

Words appear on the screen, and they say: “Now, Present Day, the second to last Tuesday of 2178, Planet Onyx, Dr. Maniac's Fortress.”

The action first focuses in on Billy and StarHawk, walking down their corridor. StarHawk says: “This place is SO creepy, it puts some of the DARKER places on Planet Hawkia to shame!”

Billy says: “Not to mention that Dr. Maniac is a MAJOR fan of pressure based traps! That's why we got to keep a sharp eye out for those things!”

StarHawk says: “Or, using my ability to fly, I could simply CARRY you until we reach whichever monster we end up facing!”

Billy says: “Come on! It can't be THAT simple!” / (Gilligan Cut)

StarHawk is carrying Billy through the air, and StarHawk says: “It's THAT simple!”

Billy says: “I'm jealous! If we had someone like YOU around during some of our more intensive battles, they probably wouldn't have been so intensive!”

StarHawk says: “Save the compliments for later. I see a large room ahead. I'm going to put you down. I have a feeling we're about to encounter--.”

But she barely has time to throw Billy to the ground and AVOID getting blasted, as a menacing machine with an IMMENSE ray of blasters appears! The machine mechanically says: “I am Blast Bot. I hope you have enjoyed fighting battles against Dr. Maniac's creations, for this will be your LAST time!”

Billy asks: “Where did Dr. Maniac find YOU? The discount section of the Dollar Store in 1985?!”

StarHawk says: “It's a waste of time to question it. From my personal experiences, most robots do no UNDERSTAND, nor do they enjoy the concept of sarcasm as WE do!”

And as IF to prove her point, Blast Bot fires a BUNCH of blasts at Billy, who THANFULLY deflects them all with his Power Lance! Billy says: “I see your point! Blast Bot, you're going to have to do a LOT better than that! This Power Lance may be old school, but it STILL gets the job done! StarHawk, give me some cover fire with your Aura Attacks, and draw it's long-distance attacks towards you! I have a feeling this machine isn't built for close-range attacks!”

StarHawk says: “Agreed! Blast Bot, have a taste of my Shooting Stars!”

And as StarHawk begins to pepper Blast Bot with her yellow burst of energy stars, Billy closes in on Blast Bot, and begins hacking at Blast Bot, who is unable to focus on BOTH of them at the same time! Billy says: “You're about to get a lesson on what the power of team-work can do!” /

Meanwhile, the passageway Tommy and Usagi are walking down, looks more like a cave. Tommy says: “Something about this cave doesn't seem right to me.”

Usagi says: “I'm inclined to agree with you. Usually, Dr. Maniac is all ABOUT technology! This cave doesn't scream that at all!”

Tommy says: “Do you think he has something SPECIAL planned for us?” (CLICK!!!!)

And just like that, they hear the unmistakable sound of a GIGANTIC boulder rolling TOWARDS them! Usagi says: “RUN!!!!”

They run forward (it's the only way they CAN go, as the boulder and the dimensions of the cave, prevent them from even TRYING to go above the boulder or into a side cranny). Tommy looks ahead, and he says: “There's a giant PIT ahead! We'll never be able to jump over it!”

Usagi says: “Than I've got to BLAST the boulder! Aura Blast ATTACK!!!!”

And she shoots out a HUGE burst of white energy! She destroys the boulder, only to free FROM it, the undeniable image and appearance, of Scorpina! Tommy says: “SCORPINA?!!! It CAN'T be! We DESTROYED you!”

Scorpina says: “A minor fluke, I assure you! But it seems that Dr. Maniac was not the kind of scientist, who thought that I should STAY dead! During his travels, he went to the place where I fell in battle. Using his scientific prowess, he collected samples of my D.N.A., and was eventually managed to not only REVIVE me, but also strengthen my ALREADY impressive arsenal of poison attacks! I agreed to help him in exchange for one simple favor. That after I finally FINISH my battle with you, he would send me BACK in time to 1999, in order to train and study under the guidance of LOKAR! I'm SURE you remember HIM! He will train me to become a much more powerful and EVIL sorceress, than Rita Repulsa could have EVER become! And once I'm strong enough, if I don't finish you HERE, I'll finish you in the year 2028! And I'll ALSO make sure to eliminate your WIFE Kat, and your PRECIOUS son, J.J.!”

Tommy says: “You can target ME if you want to, but leave my WIFE and son OUT of this! Neither of THEM have any quarrel with you!”

Scorpina says: “Maybe so, but this is what I would like to recall, 'Revenge by Proxy'. If there's anyone CLOSE to you, they are AUTOMATICALLY a target for MY anger!”

Tommy says: “Usagi, bring out your strongest weapon! We'll take down Scorpina together!”

Scorpina says: “Oh, did I forget to mention? Dr. Maniac has camera monitors all OVER his fortress! My fight is to be with YOU Tommy, and YOU alone! If Usagi TRIES to interfere, the camera monitors will TRIGGER hidden blast panels in this cave, which will BLAST Usagi with THOUSANDS of BULLET holes, that even her Ranger Suit CAN'T protect her against! And DON'T think that I'm bluffing! After all, you KNOW how MUCH Dr. Maniac WANTS at least ONE of you dead!”

Usagi says: “I know you're not bluffing, but you're NOT leaving this fight, either!”

She runs behind Scorpina, and BLOCKS Scorpina from the CHANCE of trying to retreat! Usagi says: “You want a fight with Tommy? You've GOT it! And you're going to FINISH it to the bitter end!”

Tommy pulls out Saba, and he says: “Thank you, Usagi! Well, Saba, it's time to fight against Scorpina! You'll learn first hand what a FULLY energized White Ranger can do!” /

Meanwhile, Adam & Lettuce, are walking down a hallway FILLED with statues of little tanks! Lettuce says: “MAN, this guy has a SERIOUS crush on machines!”

Adam says: “Not nearly as bad as the Machine Empire robots, though. Those creeps actually WERE machines!”

Lettuce says: “And worst of it, this guy wants to be LIKE them! Can't he think of something MORE original?!” (CLICK!)

Than suddenly, the tank statues start WHIRRING, shake off their Marble coverings, and REVEAL their REAL tank nature! Adam says: “Those tanks are REAL!!!!”

Lettuce says: “Smash them all! Let's teach Dr. Maniac a LESSON!!!!”

So Adam & Lettuce bust out their weapons, and taking care to avoid the blasts that the Tanks are making, manage to SMASH all the Tanks into pieces, so they can't cause anymore damage! After they are done, Adam says: “Weird. That felt a little TOO easy!”

Lettuce says: “Agreed. I think that was only an APPETIZER for what's about to come next!”

And sure enough, the hallway opens up into a LARGE, circular room, and they hear the unmistakable WHIRRING of a rather LARGE tank, but they can't SEE anything! Than suddenly, a muscular voice says: “You've destroyed my little BROTHERS! How DARE you anger me?! I'll teach you some RESPECT for your mechanical superiors!”

Adam asks: “Who said that?!”

The voice says: “Having trouble FINDING me?! No surprise; I'm Transparent Tank; a rather BRILLIANT, sentient machine that Dr. Maniac decided to create! But HOW are you going to fight me?! That's the BEAUTY of it, you WON'T! After all, you can't FIGHT what you CAN'T see! You are FINISHED Power Rangers! You hear me, FINISHED!”

Lettuce says: “You don't KNOW us very well, do you?! Well, Adam, it's time to put that Aura Training of yours to GOOD use! Green Color BLAST!!!!”

And shooting out a LARGE burst of green energy color from his hands, Lettuce FILLS the room with green color, and it ends up SPLATTERING all over Transparent Tank, revealing him as a muscular, humanoid Tank Robot! Transparent Tank says: “YOU'RE despicable!”

Letttuce asks: “Ain't I a stinker? All right, Adam. Let's fight this guy together! We'll show him the TRUE power of a Green Ranger!”

Adam says: “Right!” /

Meanwhile Sans and Captain Retro, are running down through their corridor, until it SOMEHOW morphs into the image of a lush, green jungle! Sans says: “Hold the phone! What IS this place?”

Captain Retro says: “Technically speaking, I don't think this IS a place! Watch!”

Captain Retro tries to put one of his hands on a tree, but it passes THROUGH, and the image whirs electronically! Captain Retro says: “Just as I thought, an elaborate hologram!”

Than they both hear a SINISTER buzzing, and Captain Retro's eyes IMMEDIATELY blanch with white, Anime fear! Captain Retro says: “Not BEES! Why did it HAVE to be BEES?!”

Sans angrily says: “And Dr. Maniac's EVIL Robot Bee Drones, at THAT!!!! You Bees, you want to see what TRUE power looks LIKE?!!!”

Captain Retro turns around and looks, and Sans FIRES out an INSANE amount of energy attacks from his skeleton hands; MORE than even HE could possibly hope to count, and Sans quickly and efficiently BLASTS every single Bee Drone apart! Captain Retro's mouth is agape, and he says: “WOW! That was SCARY good! No wonder Chara calls you 'That ONE Boss'. Have you ever thought about auditioning to become 'Rambo', or something like that?”

Than suddenly, Bionic Gorilla rushes in, and puts his two arms on the ground HARD! Bionic Gorilla says: “Sans MAY have blasted all those robot bees, but you WON'T blast me!”

Sans asks: “And what makes you think that I won't?!”

Bionic Gorilla says: “Ask Captain Retro, HE knows!”

Sans asks: “What do you KNOW, Captain Retro?”

Captain Retro sighs, and says: “I know that you CAN'T fight Bionic Gorilla, because unlike Dr. Maniac, he hasn't gone DOWN a 'True Genocide Path'. He's 'True Neutral'!”

Sans says: “But that means...!”

Bionic Gorilla says: “You cannot USE your powers against me. My fight is with Captain Retro alone. Let's see how well you do WITHOUT Pinkie Pie to back you up!”

Captain Retro says: “Please, Bionic Gorilla. Look at yourself! You are MORE than what Dr. Maniac SAYS you are! You don't HAVE to fight for him!”

Bionic Gorilla says: “Dr. Maniac saved MY life when nobody ELSE would have! He's MY master, right or wrong!”

Captain Retro says: “I KNOW that your past wasn't a REALLY happy one, but that doesn't mean your present OR your future has to be miserable as well.”

Bionic Gorilla says: “Dr. Maniac RESCUED me! I OWE him MY life!”

Captain Retro says: “Bionic Gorilla...or should I say; Windsor T. Gorilla?!!!”

This stops Bionic Gorilla DEAD in his tracks, and he tries to fight back tears, as he says: “No one...has called me that...since, BEFORE, the accident.”

Captain Retro says: “You're not LIKE Dr. Maniac; you're NOT evil! But Dr. Maniac IS! He's just USING you to further his evil ends, and using you to make MORE creatures like you be as MISERABLE and evil as Dr. Maniac is. Don't LET Dr. Maniac DO that to you! Break the cycle of hate, Dr. Maniac doesn't have power over you, only YOU do! And it's up to YOU to decide, whether you're GOING to let Dr. Maniac have his WAY with you, or if you want to make YOUR future BE what you WANT it to be! You can't TRUST Dr. Maniac! Once HE gets what HE wants, he'll DISPOSE of you, and YOU know it, to!”

Bionic Gorilla says: “I want to break free, but I don't know if I can!” /

Unbeknownst to Bionic Gorilla, Dr. Maniac is MONITORING the action on one of his monitor camera! Dr. Maniac yells: “WHY ISN'T HE TURNING them into Mulan Szechuan McNugget Sauce?! If you WANT something done RIGHT, you've got to DO it, yourself!”

And Dr. Maniac pushes a BIG red button labeled: “KILL THEM ALL!” And a BUNCH of Machine Gun cannons EMERGE from hidden panels in the holographic trees and rocks!

Captain Retro quickly says: “Retro Shield Barrier!!!!”

And he THROWS a BIG, gigantic shield barrier around himself, Sans, AND Bionic Gorilla! To Bionic Gorilla's SHOCK, the bullets were even coming in HIS direction, but are instead, harmlessly absorbed by Captain Retro's shield barrier, as each machine gun cannon fires a THOUSAND rounds before exhausting themselves! Bionic Gorilla looks in shock as Captain Retro dissipates his energy barrier. Bionic Gorilla says: “Dr. Maniac was willing to let ME die, just so he could KILL you!”

Sans says: “It's like Captain Retro SAID; Dr. Maniac is a TRUE Genocide nut! That MEANS he's WILLING to KILL EVERY THING! No matter WHAT their loyalty status, is!”

Bionic Gorilla says: “You've saved me. I owe you my life. What do you want me to do to repay you, Captain Retro?”

Captain Retro says: “You DON'T owe me anything! As of now, I'm releasing you from your life debt. You're now free to make your OWN choices, the way you were MEANT to!”

Bionic Gorilla says: “Than, I CHOOSE to fight with YOU guys! I choose to fight on the side of the Power Rangers, and the forces of good!”

Captain Retro says: “Glad to have you along, Bionic...I mean, Windsor! We could use all the help we can get! Just one thing, why don't you get RID of that Voice Box that Dr. Maniac FORCED you to wear? That mechanical sound is just NOT you!”

Bionic Gorilla takes OFF the 1980's Voice Box Technology around his neck, tosses it on the ground, and SMASHES it into oblivion for good measure! With a normal voice, he says: “I feel FREE again. It feels GOOD to have control over my own life again! I may not be able to get rid of my OTHER Bionic enhancements, but I think that I CAN use them to my advantage! One good turn deserves another! The password you need from this room, is the number, '4'!”

Sans asks: “Just, '4'?”

Captain Retro says: “I guess Dr. Maniac never thought we WOULD make it past Windsor, or that Windsor would HAVE a change of heart!”

Windsor says: “You're right. Even so, you're not OUT of the woods yet, LITERALLY! I'll take the lead, and I'll help you AVOID all the other traps Dr. Maniac set out for you!”

Sans asks: “How are you going to do that?”

Windsor says: “My circuits are STILL tapped into Dr. Maniac's central computer. And since he can't HEAR what we're saying, he WON'T be able to hear my plan! Since I'm now on YOUR side, he CAN'T over-ride my free will, but I CAN over-ride the REST of his trap systems! Unfortunately, I can't do anything about the monsters, but it will STILL be a big help to you guys!”

Captain Retro says: “Thanks, Windsor! I'm sure you'll be great at WHATEVER you decide to do, once we get out of here!”

Windsor pushes some buttons on his bionic arms, taps into Dr. Maniac's computer system, and sends out an electronic signal, which JAMS Dr. Maniac's trap mechanism, shuts down ALL holographic projections, and even shuts down Dr. Maniac's main computer for good measure! /

In Dr. Maniac's control room, Dr. Maniac says: “Why have ALL my main computer programs have gone off-line?! Diagnostics, give me a reading!”

Dr. Maniac pushes EVERYTHING electronic, and ALL the monitors will display, is an electronic reading, that simply reads the words: “Out of Order”.

Dr. Maniac says: “OUT OF ORDER?!!! ERRRR...even in the FUTURE, NOTHING WORKS!!!!” /

Windsor says: “Next stop, Dr. Maniac's inner sanctum. And he's going to find that his last attempt at a Back-stab Betrayal, WILL be his LAST attempt at a Back-stab Betrayal!”

Sans says: “No argument, with you, there!”

Captain Retro says: “Come on, Sans! Let's go save Alphys and hopefully, Mettaton!” /

Andros and Naruto are running down what APPEARS to be a never-ending hallway, until the lights flicker, and the electricity surges through the room, and they find out that they HAD been running on a moving sidewalk moving in the OPPOSITE way they were running! Naruto says: “Now THERE'S something you don't see everyday!”

Andros says: “But why did it suddenly stop? We didn't do anything.”

Naruto says: “Leave it to Captain Retro to find a way to make things easier for us!”

Than a big, pink robot with a rubber eraser for a head jumps out! And he says: “Your friends help will amount to NOTHING in the end! I am Evil Eraser, and I am going to RUB you out, see?! R-r-r-r-rub you out!”

Naruto says: “I don't think he's speaking in hyperbole! Fire Fox Blast!”

And Naruto FIRES a Fox-shaped blast of fire at Evil Eraser, but he BLASTS a pink ray at it, and the fire DISSIPATES into nothingness! Naruto says: “I was AFRAID of that!”

Andros says: “Nevertheless, I think that will be a good tactic! Keep FIRING those fire blasts at that creep and draw his erasing attack! I'll use my Astro Drill to drill some sense into him!”

Naruto says: “I like THAT plan! Hey, Eraser beast, let's see how you handle some rapid FIRE, blasting! Fire Fox Rapid Blast!”

And Naruto fires a bunch of fox-shaped blasts at Evil Eraser, FORCING Evil Eraser to direct ALL of his Eraser Ray at the blasts, leaving himself open to Andros' attacks! Andros says: “Nothing beats the power of team-work!” /

Meanwhile, Karone and Pinkie Pie have been floating through a starry, cosmic void for what feels like an ETERNITY to them! Karone says: “Okay, this IS weird! Even by RANGER standards!”

Pinkie says: “I should introduce you to Discord, sometime. You haven't even SEEN weird until you've seen HIS kind of weird!”

Karone says: “You know, I have been thinking about something, regarding you and Lettuce.”

Pinkie asks: “What about it?”

Karone says: “Lettuce says that he's already APOLOGIZED to you about a hundred times for building a shrine to Kira. So, what gives?”

Pinkie asks: “What do you mean?!”

Karone says: “What I MEAN is, why haven't you accepted his apology yet?”

Pinkie says: “HELLO! He proposed to me, and yet he STILL had a dedicated...flesh for fantasy...or something of that nature, involving HIM and Kira?! I CAN'T just FORGET that!”

Karone says: “I'm not ASKING you to forget! Look, Lettuce MADE a mistake. I GET it! Having feelings FOR Kira despite proposing to you, was a REALLY tacky thing to do! But people who made BIGGER mistakes than him, have LEARNED from their mistakes, and made real IMPROVEMENTS to the world! People FORGAVE them! I mean, look at ME! I once WAS Astronema, second-in-command to Dark Specter himself! If Andros and the Power Rangers were willing to forgive me, why can't you forgive Lettuce for something that is far LESS heinous than everything I did while I was Astronema?”

Pinkie says: “Wow. I never thought of it LIKE that! I guess I can give Lettuce another chance, but he has to PROVE that he's really committed to me, FIRST!”

Karone says: “Understandable!”

Than suddenly, they stop floating, the stars dissipate, and the room is revealed to have a LARGE floating brain with eyes! Karone says: “WOAH! I've HEARD of a BIG Brain, but THAT'S ridiculous!”

The brain speaks through telepathy, and think-speaks: (“What HAPPENED to Dr. Maniac's holographic projection and gravity manipulation?!”)

Pinkie says: “Captain Retro happened, that's what! And we're going to stop YOU...you...say, what ARE you, anyways?!”

The brain says: “I am Brain Beast, a creature that Dr. Maniac created after having a dream about a video game character boss design, who ended up actually BEING used in a 1997 video game! And you will NOT escape my sight, nor evade my warping technique!”

Pinkie says: “We'll just see about that! I'm the QUEEN of speed! Karone, target the EYES of that brain, and I'll attack his vulnerable underside from behind!”

Karone says: “Got it! It's time for that brain to get a taste of the Quasar Saber!” /

Meanwhile, BlackHawk and Kira are walking through what APPEARS to be a LITERAL Jurassic World, filled with real-life dinosaurs!

Kira says: “Man, Steven Spielberg would KILL to have THESE in his movies!”

BlackHawk says: “All I know is, it's taking FOREVER to trek through whatever THIS is, and NOT attract attention! Why don't I just BLAST these creeps and be done with it?!”

Kira says: “Well, we don't KNOW what kind of monster we're going to face! We should save our energy for when we REALLY need it! You can't ALWAYS just BLAST your problems away, sometimes you need to THINK about STRATEGY, and plan for the future!”

BlackHawk says: “You may be onto something, Kira. Having a strategy certainly would have helped me in my fight against the Zero Girls, when Dr. Maniac turned them evil! I guess even someone like me can stand to learn something new!” (WHIR!!!!)

Than suddenly, the dinosaurs suddenly fall down, and the holograms around their bodies dissipate, revealing VERY elaborate robotic skeletons, designed to LOOK like the dinosaurs they were pretending to be! Kira says: “See? What did I tell you? The dinosaurs WEREN'T even real!”

A feminine voice sinisterly says: “The dinosaurs might not have been REAL, but I am!”

And a female, humanoid monster suddenly appears once the holographic image of the jungle disappears, and is replaced with the image of a room filled with red-hot colors of yellow, orange, and red! Appropriately, the monster is decked out in an outfit made entirely of THOSE colors! BlackHawk says: “Looks like something you'd find in a costume BARGAIN bin...from 1985!”

The monster says: “I am Feminine Flame, I am literally HOT to the touch! You try to fight ME, and I will leave you BURNED!!!!”

Kira removes her helmet, and she says: “Burn THIS!!!! AHHHH!!!!”

And she does her Ptera Scream, and she screams SO loud, the resulting shock-waves and wind from her scream, blows OUT the fiery flames on her costumes, and leaves Feminine Flame a charred, brown shell of her former self! Feminine Flame says: “How could you? You blew out my flames!”

Kira says: “See, BlackHawk? It PAYS to have a strategy!”

BlackHawk says: “Good thinking! Now, it's time to see what Saba II, can TRULY do! Saba II, show me some of that fire-power that you have!”

Saba II says: “I'm on it!”

And Saba II starts firing laser blasts from it's eyes, energy blasts from it's sword blade, and even charges a very POWERFUL Aura blast that KNOCKS Feminine Flame to the ground! BlackHawk says: “Well, it's not EXACTLY a gun, but it gets the job done!” /

Meanwhile, FireHawk and Doggie Kruger are in the middle of a battle, fighting a BUNCH of marionette puppets designed to look like ALL the past monsters that Doggie Kruger has previously had to capture! FireHawk says: “I was NEVER a fan of puppet shows before, and this certainly doesn't help to improve their image in MY mind!”

Doggie says: “No matter HOW many I slash, they just don't seem to STAY down! Why do they KEEP coming for more?!”

(WHIR!) Than, as if to answer his question, the puppets suddenly hiss, and then dissipate! FireHawk says: “They were nothing but holograms! No WONDER you couldn't do a thing against them!”

Than a really MENACING monster appears, looking like an EVIL version of Pinocchio, and says: “Those fake puppets might have been holograms, but I'm the REAL deal! I'm Psycho Puppet, and I will take the duty of pulling the strings on YOU today!”

FireHawk says: “I don't THINK so! Black Fire BLAST!!!!”

And spewing out a blast of black fire, she SCORCHES Psycho Puppets' remote control, and melts it into a useless goo of electronic wires! Psycho Puppet says: “You RUINED my grand control!”

Doggie says: “We'll ruin more than THAT before we're through with you! Let's take this guy head on! He's not so tough without a remote to control victims!”

FireHawk says: “Agreed!” /

Finally, Captain Retro, Sans, and Windsor reach the doorway, which has eight different panels, for the eight different passwords needed. Sans says: “Well, we made it to the master door. Now, we just need to figure out which password goes where!”

Windsor says: “It's very simple. Each of the panels are numbered, one through eight, corresponding to which pathway each of you had to go through. So, the password for panel four, would be the one I gave to you.”

Captain Retro says: “So, in other words, '4', for panel four.”

Windsor says: “That about sums it up.”

Sans says: “'4 for four'?! You would THINK Dr. Maniac could be a LITTLE more creative than that!”

Windsor says: “Well, like I said, he didn't THINK you would GET this far!”

Captain Retro says: “And it's time for ME to help the other Rangers get this far!”

Windsor asks: “What do you mean?”

Captain Retro says: “I'm sorry, you're new to this. Allow me to explain. See, I'm a cosmic Radio D.J., and it's my job to play songs that the Rangers can hear, in order to spur them on, and help them in their fights against the EVIL monsters they have to fight, which you NEVER truly were! And as such, I think this occasion, calls for a 1984 hit song, by The Jacksons!” /

And while all the Rangers are fighting their respective monsters, Captain Retro plays a familiar 1984 hit song by The Jacksons, in the background, the hit song, “Torture.” / (Instrumental Opening) The Jacksons sing: “It was on the street so evil, so bad that even hell disowned it. Every single step was trouble, for the fool who stumbled on it. Eyes within the dark were watching, I felt that sudden chill of danger. Something told me to keep on walking; told me I should not have gone there. Baby, because you cut me like a knife, without your love in my life. I'm out, I'm walking the night and I just can't stop this feeling. It's torture, it's torture, it's torture. She was up a stair to nowhere. A room forever, I'll remember. She said as though I should have known her. Tell me, what's your pain or pleasure? Every little thing you find here, is simply for the thrill you're after. Loneliness or hearts on fire. I am here to serve all masters. She said, Reality is a knife, when there's no love in your life. Unmerciful is the night when you just can't stop this feeling. It's torture, it's torture, it's torture. And I still can't find the meaning, of the face I keep on seeing. Was she real or am I dreaming? Did the sound of your name turn a wheel, strike a flame in me? Whoo-hoo! (Instrumental solo) Baby, because you cut me like a knife, without your love in my life. I'm out, I'm walking the night and I just can't stop this feeling. It's torture, it's torture, it's torture. She said, Reality is a knife when there's no love in your life. Unmerciful is the night when you just can't stop this feeling. It's torture, it's torture, it's torture. When you call my name, it's torture! When you strike a flame, it's torture! When you call my name, it's torture! When you call my name, it's torture! When you strike a flame, it's torture! When you call my name, it's torture!” (Instrumental finish) /

And the Rangers all destroy their respective monsters, except for Scorpina, who gets KNOCKED into the pit meant to swallow Tommy, and she disappears magically before she is swallowed into darkness; and the passwords reveal themselves to the Power Rangers! Billy says: “All right! Our password, is the number, '1'!” /

Usagi says: “I can't believe it! You did everything RIGHT, and she STILL got away!”

Tommy sighs, and says: “To the past. I have a feeling that I might have to go back in time to my OWN time, soon. I have a feeling that I'll have to go on another mission. And I have a feeling that whatever outcome happens, that next mission may very well BE my last.”

Usagi says: “You can worry about that, later! For now, we've got our password, and the pit is being closed up, so we can cross now! Our password, is the number, '2'!” /

Lettuce says: “Transparent Tanks aren't so scary, when they aren't transparent!”

Adam says: “And we've got our password! Our password, is the number, '3'!” /

Naruto says: “Wow! You did it! You ERASED the eraser!”

Andros says: “I couldn't have done it without YOUR help! And we've got our password! Our password, is the number, '5'!” /

Pinkie says: “So much for Dr. Maniac's Brain Beast! For a boss that was BASICALLY a brain, it's REALLY not that hard to defeat it when you know HOW to!”

Karone says: “And we've got our password! Our password, is the number, '6'!” /

BlackHawk says: “Guess THAT flame...went down in flames.”

Kira says: “Seriously?!”

BlackHawk says: “Coop has always BETTER at coming up with witty remarks than I can. Besides, we've got our password! Our password, is the number, '7'!” /

FireHawk says: “So much for THAT puppet show! Hope there aren't any encores!”

Doggie says: “Agreed! And we now have our password! Our password, is the number, '8'!” /

Captain Retro says: “I have a feeling that my song worked! The other Power Rangers should be along in 3...2...1!”

And Captain Retro turns around, and sure enough, all the Power Rangers arrive at the big, steel door, no worse for the wear! Sans says: “Great! You guys ALL made it!”

Billy says: “Wait! Why is Bionic Gorilla with you?”

Captain Retro says: “His real name is Windsor, and I saved his life, and gave him back his freedom! He's one of the good guys, now!”

Lettuce says: “Awesome! And Pinkie?”

Pinkie says: “Yes?”

Lettuce says: “I'm...REALLY sorry about that whole SHRINE business! It wasn't FAIR to you. You...didn't deserve to have to put up with that ordeal, and I'm sorry I ever let that devotion get to such a bizarre state. I promise you, when we get back home, my romantic attentions will NEVER be focused on another woman EVER again! From now on, my heart will be set on you, and ONLY you. So, will you PLEASE give me another chance?”

Pinkie sighs, and says: “I suppose so. After all, I suppose MAYBE I over-reacted a little to the Shrine. After all, it's not like you WERE Karone when she was Astronema, basically GROOMED into being an evil villain for most of her life, than forcibly BRAINWASHED into being evil by Darkonda. The point is, I was upset by it, but I understand that you made a mistake, and that you are willing to learn from it. I can move past all this, but I need you to prove yourself to me for a little while, before I'll fully commit to anything, like us being together forever, or a reasonable facsimile thereof.”

Lettuce says: “Sure, I can live with that. I've waited THIS long to get together with you. A couple more months or so is worth the wait.”

Captain Retro says: “All right! Now it's time to put in the passwords, for the combination! Sans, tell me everyone's password!”

Sans says: “Right! You DID get all your passwords, didn't you?!”

BlackHawk says: “Of course we did!”

And the Rangers all whisper their passwords to Sans. Sans turns back around and says: “Okay! The passwords, in chronological order, for all the different panels, are as follows! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight!

Captain Retro says: “So, the combined password combination is; '1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8'.”

Lettuce says: WHAT?!!! That's the STUPIDEST password combination I've EVER heard in my LIFE! That's the kind of combination an IDIOT would have on his LUGGAGE!”

Naruto says: “Wait! Did you SAY the password combination is, '1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8'?”

Sans says: “Yes.”

Naruto says: “That's AMAZING! I've got the SAME combination on my LUGGAGE! Captain Retro, open the door! And when we get back home, in a completely unrelated matter, remind me to CHANGE the combination on MY luggage!”

Captain Retro puts in all the passwords, and the big steel door swings open. A big, booming voice says: “COME FORWARD!!!!”

Tommy says: “Get ready, guys! We're about to enter the belly of the beast!”

And they all walk into the spacious room, which is filled what APPEARS to be a large cauldron, and a bunch of fiery FLAMES coming out of it, and a HUGE, floating, green head image of Dr. Maniac, appears OVER the cauldron! Pinkie says: “Oh, in Equestria's name, what have you DONE to yourself?!”

Dr. Maniac's voice booms: “I AM DR. MANIAC!!!! THE SMART AND POWERFUL!!!! WHO ARE YOU?!!! (DUH! DUH!) WHO ARE YOU?!!!”

Usagi says: “What are you TALKING about?! You know who WE are! I am Usagi, the brave and pretty! And we've come to ask--.”

Dr. Maniac's voice booms: “SILENCE!!!! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL DR. MANIAC, KNOWS WHY YOU HAVE COME! STEP FORTH, BIONIC GORILLA!!!!”

And Windsor reluctantly steps forth! Dr. Maniac's voice booms: “YOU DARE TO ASK ME FOR YOUR FREEDOM, DO YOU?! YOU CLINKING, CLANKING, CLATTERING COLLECTION OF CACOPHONUS JUNK?!!!”

And Windsor says: “WOAH!!!! Yes, sir. Yes, your honor. You see, a while back, Captain Retro saved my life. And--.”

Dr. Maniac's voice booms: “QUIET!!!! AND YOU, SANS, HAVE THE EFFRONTERY TO ASK ME TO STOP KILLING WHOEVER I LIKE! YOU BILLOWING BALE OF BOVINE BONES!!!!”

Sans says: “Yes, your honor! I mean, your excellency! I mean, your BRILLIANCY!!!!”

Captain Retro shouts: “ENOUGH!!!!”

And he walks over to a conspicuous green curtain, and OPENS it, revealing the REAL Dr. Maniac! Dr. Maniac turns around, and shouting through a voice amplifier, booms: “PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!!!! THE GREATEST, DR. MANIAC, HAS SPOKEN!!!!”

Karone scoffs, and asks: “Oh, come ON! Who are YOU?!”

Dr. Maniac shouts through the voice amplifier, and booms: “I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL--!!!!”

Than he steps away from the voice amplifier, and finishes: “Dr. Maniac!”

Captain Retro says: “I expected MORE from YOU, Dr. Maniac, but THAT was just SAD! How STUPID do you THINK we ARE?!!!”

Dr. Maniac says: You don't REALLY want me to ANSWER that one, do you, you PEONS?!”

Than suddenly Alphys' voice shouts: “RANGERS!!!! Have you come to rescue me! I'm up HERE, on this CHANDELIER!!!!”

And the Rangers look up, and sure enough, they see Alphys tied up to a LARGE, yellow chandelier, without ANY means of a method that she could POSSIBLY use to escape, or get herself down safely! Sans says: “Alphys! Don't worry, we'll get you down soon!”

Dr. Maniac says: “Don't BET on it, bone boy! Make ONE wrong move, and I will RELEASE the mechanism holding that chandelier in place! In other words, you MESS with me; Alphys WILL DIE and it WILL ALL BE YOUR FAULT!!!! I WARNED YOU NOT TO MESS WITH ME! BUT YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN!!!!”

StarHawk says: “Dr. Maniac, you are TRULY a--!!”

And then she starts SQUAWKING in high-pitched Hawkian, and although nobody can see it, BlackHawk is blushing from EMBARRASSMENT from what he is hearing! Bionic Gorilla asks: “What in the WORLD did she say?!”

FireHawk says: “She was speaking in our native Hawkian, and what she said, I can't repeat it exactly, because it might OFFEND Captain Retro! However, I can paraphrase what she said. She said, 'You are truly a most DEGRADING excuse for a poop-filled, fatherless child I have ever seen, and when we DO free Alphys, I am LITERALLY going to RIP up your BUTT and SHOVE IT DOWN your FREAKING MOUTH like the DONKEY that you ARE'! Totally paraphrased, of course.”

Captain Retro says: “Of course.”

Dr. Maniac says: “OOH, such spirit! Professor Bias always DID warn me to BEWARE of the Nice Ones! Of course, you won't LIVE much longer to CARE for such witty banter!”

Adam says: “And what's your DERANGED plan THIS time?! ANOTHER monster?!”

Dr. Maniac says: “THE monster! Allow me to present, the MENACING METTAON!!!!”

And he reveals a small, brown robot with a bunch of buttons, on a singular wheel. BlackHawk says: “Weird. He seemed a LOT more menacing down in the underground. Of course, I WAS younger back then, but STILL...”

Dr. Maniac says: “He may be small, but it's the SIZE of the fight IN the robot that counts! And don't think that you can MERCY your way through THIS one, all of his original programming is gone, and he WILL fight to YOUR deaths, or his! So much, for a TRUE PACIFIST ROUTE!!!!”

Sans' eyes start to glow red, and he says: “I'll SHOW YOU WHAT NO MERCY LOOKS LIKE!”

Captain Retro says: “THINK!!!! Alphys' life is STILL in danger! If YOU fight against Dr. Maniac, he WILL kill her!”

Sans says: “And if we fight against Mettaton, we'll kill HIM!”

Alphys shouts: “I MADE a hard-drive back-up of Mettaton's original programming while I was still in the underground! It's back in the lab! Don't worry about destroying THIS Mettaton, he's just a PAWN in Dr. Maniac's SICK game, like Windsor was! I can make a NEW Mettaton with his ORIGINAL programming once we get back home! Do what you NEED to do!”

Sans says: “We have no choice. We HAVE to destroy this Mettaton. It's the only way!”

BlackHawk says: “I'll take care of this QUICKLY, I remember how Alphys told me to beat him the LAST time! HEY, Mettaton! There's a BIG, SHINY MIRROR behind you, if you just STARE and LOOK!”

Mettaton turns around, and robotically says: “What? Where IS the mirror?”

And he reveals a HUGE On/Off Switch on the back of him! Lettuce says: “Pinkie Pie, NOW!!!!”

And Pinkie Pie QUICKLY switches Mettaton, from “On,” to “Off.”

Usagi says: “Phew! THAT wasn't so hard!”

Naruto says: “Yeah, Dr. Maniac usually FORCES us to fight for 28 minutes before WE can take care of a monster!”

Than a sexy, male voice COMES from Mettaton, and he says: “OOH, you switched me from 'On', to 'Off'. You must WANT to see my NEW form!”

Than Mettaton suddenly SHEDS its robotic exterior, and reveals a handsome, somewhat skeletal, tall, thin body! Mettaton sexily says: “Say hello to Mettaton Exe.!”

BlackHawk says: “WHAT?! That didn't happen the LAST time I went through the Underground!”

Captain Retro says: “You must have been playing a Beta Version with Gaster still in it.”

Alphys shouts: “I thought EVERYONE in the Underground AGREED that we would NEVER speak of 'Gaster', again!”

Captain Retro says: “Well, if you dig around hard enough...it's NOT important! Rangers, BLAST everything that Mettaton Exe., shoots at you, but DON'T hit him! I've GOT to play a radio song, and set up my phone lines for EVERYONE in the Multiverse!”

Kira asks: “What for?”

Captain Retro says: “I need to exploit Mettaton Exe., and it's ONLY weakness, his DESPERATE need for high ratings! And I've got the song that can make it happen! Rangers, you KNOW what YOU need to do!”

All the Rangers say: “Right!”

BlackHawk says: “Let's power up!”

Captain Retro begins his telepathic radio broadcast, and he says: “This is Captain Retro, coming to you with a special LIVE broadcast from the Planet Onyx, and they need YOUR help! Only with plenty of calls from YOU, the loyal listeners, will help defeat the latest threat they have to fight! So be sure to send all phone calls to 555-2278. Remember, that's the same as dialing, 555-CAPT! Here's a song that will SURELY get you in the right mood! From 1984, this is The Jacksons and Mick Jagger, with their mega hit song, 'State of Shock'!” /

/ And while all the Rangers are fighting Mettaton Exe., Captain Retro plays the familiar mega hit song by The Jacksons, and Mick Jagger, in the background; “State of Shock”! / The Jacksons and Mick Jagger sing: “Yeah, come on, baby. You gotta be mine, cause you're so fine. I like your style, it makes me wild! You take it to me good! You like it. Know, you should! You get me on my knees! Come on, baby! Well, please, baby, please. Listen, she looks so great, every time I see her face, she puts me in a state. A state of shock! We're doing it! Oh, ha, come on, baby. Oh, come on, baby. Come on, let me in. She put me on my knees! Please, baby, please! I know you like to tease, but please, baby, please. You take it to me good! You like it. Know, you should! I love the way you walk and talk, baby, talk! Listen, she looks so great, every time I see her face, she puts me in a state. A state of shock! She put me, ooh, in a state of shock. Now come over here. No, come over here. Ooh, talk, talk to me. State of shock! You know I really love you, baby! Want you, I really want you! You got me paralyzed! You got me paralyzed! You got me catatonic. You got me catatonic baby. You got me supersonic! You got me supersonic, baby! You know I'm deep fried. You know I'm deep fried. Yeah, look what you've done to me. Look what you've done to me! Look what you've done to me! Yeah, how you move! A state of shock! You know I need mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Come on, baby! You know I've really loved you, baby! (Michael Jackson, starts singing “Now” over and over until the end of the song). State of shock! You know I really want you! Yeah, baby, yeah, baby. Just look at me, look at me. State of shock! You drive me! You got me, you got me, you got me in a state of shock! Look at that, look at me. Look at me, look at me. Look at me. Ooh, look at me.” / And the hit song ends. /

And the listener tally clocks in at 44 MILLION listeners! Mettaton Exe., sexily says: “OOH! The ratings are at their absolute PEAK!!!! I have NEVER been more popular! I have reached the pinnacle of my popularity! This shall be my final fight! With your skills, you truly DO have the ability to stop Dr. Maniac, and save Core Earth from his wicked whims! I KNOW you will do me proud!”

And then Mettaton Exe., shuts down for good! BlackHawk says: “Do you see what you're dealing with NOW, Dr. Maniac?! No matter WHAT you throw at US, we ARE going to stop it! And that INCLUDES YOU, you VILE MONSTER!!!!”

But then, Dr. Maniac LOSES it in a way the Rangers have NEVER seen him lose it before! Dr. Maniac screams: “No, NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!!!!!!!!”

Captain Retro says: “Uh-oh! He's having a Villainous Breakdown!”

Dr. Maniac screams: “I must be DREAMING!!!! I'll be RUINED!!!! I didn't WANT to do THIS, but now, I have NO CHOICE!!!!”

StarHawk asks: “What is he talking about now?”

FireHawk says: “Oh, he's just bluffing again.”

Dr. Maniac says: “I am doing NO such THING!!!! You may have THWARTED every single ONE of my MECHANICAL creations, but now you must face against ME, the MASTER of ALL MACHINES! And I will PERSONALLY KILL YOU, even if I HAVE to take EXTREME MEASURES!!!!”

And with his cybernetic arm, he HACKS into Mettaton Exe., than he PULLS out FIVE CRIMSON red vials, marked “SUPER PSYCHO SERUM! Warning: DO NOT USE UNLESS THERE IS REALLY, REALLY, NO ALTERNATIVE SOLUTION!!!!”

Karone shouts: “STOP!!!! That's PURE concentrated ESSENCE of the five Psycho Rangers! Even just ONE of those vials, and you'll be--!”

Dr. Maniac screams: “It's TOO late for THAT!!!! I TRIED to be NICE about it, but you have SQUANDERED ALL YOUR CHANCES!!!!”

And Dr. Maniac INJECTS all five vials into his body, and he begins pulsating with a CRAZY amount of energy that even KARONE has NEVER felt before! Billy says: “This is not GOOD!!!!”

Captain Retro says: “Get inside my shield barrier!!!! This is going to get UGLY!!!!”

The fortress starts to shake and crumble apart, as if it can't WITHSTAND the energy entering into Dr. Maniac's body! Dr. Maniac's voice starts to MUTATE into the VOICE of the Legion, and he says: “I FEEL LIKE A NEW MANIAC!!!!”

And Dr. Maniac's body, FORCIBLY and SICKENINGLY MERGES ITSELF with Mettaton Exe's., body, and it begins to contort and WARP itself into a TWISTED, MANGLED mash of Machine and Organic parts from the two former, separate bodies, WARPING into a LARGE, HORRIFIC body horror that would make even TETSUO blush! Pinkie Pie says: “WOAH! Somebody call for a plastic surgeon!”

Dr. Maniac's voice booms: “I feel BIG again!”

Captain Retro says: “Windsor, get to the Astro Mega Ship, you're just collateral damage, here!”

Windsor says: “Whatever you do, don't get KILLED!!!!”

And Windsor runs outside to wait for the Astro Mega Ship to pick him up! And without even the NEED for a Bigga Ray, Dr. Maniac grows to a GIGANTIC size, and his body now seemingly LOOKS like 1995 C.G.I., computer graphics, ALMOST the same as the body utilized for movie villain, Ivan Ooze! Despite the Fortress coming apart at the seams, the section of ceiling that Alphys, and the chandelier she is tied to, is still safely secure in place! Dr. Maniac's voice booms: “All right, you Power brats! It's the Eleventh Hour, and your time is up!”

Tommy says: “Don't bet on it! It's time to summon ALL our fire-power!”

Billy says: “Right! I need Dino Megazord power, NOW!!!!”

And in a sight not seen since 1994, the original Dinozords roar back to life, and come rushing towards Billy! Tommy says: “I need Tigerzord power, now!”

And the Tigerzord runs towards Tommy, and he jumps into the cock-pit! Adam says: “I need Zeo Megazord power, now!”

And all five of the Zeo zords come together, and form into the Zeo Megazord! Karone says: “Go, Galactic!”

And the five Lost Galaxy zords, come together, and form into the Lost Galaxy Megazord! Kira says: “Dino Thunder, power up!”

And all three of the main Dino Thunder Zords come together, and form the Dino Thunder Megazord! Doggie Kruger says: “S.P.D., Emergency!”

And the S.P.D. Megazord appears, and Doggie Kruger jumps into it! BlackHawk says: “Now it's my turn! I need Lionzord power, now!”

And a familiar tune plays in the background, and says: “Gold Ranger, Lion Power! Gold Ranger, Lion Power! Gold Ranger, Lion Power! Gold Ranger, Lion Power!”

BlackHawk jumps into the cock-pit, hooks Saba II in, and BlackHawk says: “All right! Time to fight out what this Zord can TRULY do!”

The tune continues: “Gold Ranger, Lion Power! Gold Ranger, Lion Power! Go, Gold Ranger! Go, Gold Ranger right NOW!!!!”

The other Rangers look at all the completed Zord formations, and Pinkie says: “It's INCREDIBLE! Seven FULL Zord formations! This might be the biggest gathering of Zords, ever!”

Billy says: “Rangers, we could use a hand! I've modified the controls, but each Zord formation STILL needs at LEAST one more Ranger in order to run, properly!”

Naruto says: “What do you think? Same partnerships as last time?”

Andros says: “With one small modification. I'll go with BlackHawk. Naruto, you go help Kira.”

Naruto says: “Right!

StarHawk goes with Billy, Usagi goes with Tommy, Lettuce goes with Adam, Naruto goes with Kira, Pinkie goes with Karone, Andros goes with BlackHawk, and FireHawk goes with Doggie! Dr. Maniac says: “Impressive machines, to say the least! Now, let's see how well you handle them!”

To Be Continued... 

I hope you enjoyed reading it, as much as I did writing it. Enough said, true believers!

 

[Fanfiction Reruns]

Spoiler

(Warning: Walls of Text Ahead)

(Cold Open):

The show opens up on the Diabolic Spaceship in Outer Space. Inside the Space Ship, Vipera and Baphomet are lamenting their LATEST loss, the fall of fourteen of their Necron/Imp Fighters, as well as M.O.D.O.K.! Baphomet says: “This is almost too much to bear! First, we lose Drako and Circe. Now, we've lost M.O.D.O.K., as well as 14 of our best fighters!”

Vipera says: “Not to mention, that Dr. Maniac is alive and well! He might come after us for STEALING the 200 Necrons he wanted! He is ruthless and insane! There's no telling WHAT kind of monsters he might have attack us, as long as we stick around Core Earth! As much as it pains me to say this, we might have to put our plans for conquering Neo-Austrailiasia as well as the rest of Core Earth on hold, as long as Dr. Maniac remains alive!”

Kraky moans, and says: “Ooh, I wish Drako was STILL alive!”

But at that precise moment, the retcon ripples REACH the Diabolic Spaceship, and they affect Drako's casket, and the body INSIDE of it! And the casket starts to shake VIOLENTLY!!!! Kraky says: “Could it be?!”

Baphomet asks: “But how?!”

A deep voice says: “Let...me...OUT!!!!”

And in a blinding flash of red light, Drako's casket BURSTS open, and Drako is suddenly standing alive and well, only NOW looking a whole lot STRONGER, and more fiercer! Vipera says: “Drako, you're ALIVE! Were you alive all this time?!”

Drako, in a deeper voice than before, says: “No, my Empress! I WAS quite dead...again! But, from what I can assess, it seems that fate and T'Zeen'tch has offered me another chance to prove myself! I seem to be MUCH stronger than I was before!”

Kraky says: “That flash of red light, that was one of M.O.D.O.K.'s powers!”

Drako says: “It makes sense now. The being called M.O.D.O.K., existed in the past, back when Dr. Maniac was a threat to the S.P.D. Power Rangers. Someone must have gone back in time and de-powered him in the past. However, it seems that M.O.D.O.K.'s powers, couldn't just GO away, they had to be transferred to somewhere else in the present. And it seems like T'Zeen'tch arranged it, so that M.O.D.O.K.'s power, and life-force, found its way into my body, so that I may now serve my Empress better! Speaking of, do you know what T'Zeen'tch is up to right now?”

Vipera says: “From what I can assess, I'm afraid that Radiguet does not SHARE your fondness for T'Zeen'tch, or ANY of the Main Chaos Gods for that matter! We just intercepted a message that Radiguet sent to the POWER Rangers! The only way Radiguet could contact them, with the Magi-Mother's Force Field still in place, is by absorbing the powers of T'Zeen'tch! He has the powers of a Chaos God!”

Drako says: “So, it seems that T'Zeen'tch's last act, before being absorbed, was to set one final plan in motion. He ensured that I would be revived with M.O.D.O.K.'s powers, in order to protect you from Radiguet's eventual return, and anyone else who might threaten you!”

Kraky says: “Speaking of, it's a good thing you're revived now, with Dr. Maniac still around!”

Drako chuckles dryly, and he says: “I had a feeling that Dr. Maniac might have been faking the dead! Now, we know for sure! Still, I don't think we're his primary concern. At least, not for the time-being. Dr. Maniac has ALWAYS been gunning for the Power Rangers first! Dr. Maniac won't rest UNTIL he's finished all the Power Rangers off! He wants revenge, and he won't stop until he gets it!”

Baphomet says: “So, what do we do in the mean-time?”

Drako says: “Unfortunately, I have no way of currently knowing how Dr. Maniac's newest plan is going to turn out. We're just going to have to wait and see. All I know is, it would actually be BETTER for us, if the Power Rangers were to finish off Dr. Maniac once and for all! We'd have a better chance of taking over Core Earth, with Dr. Maniac out of the way! And the only thing we have to worry about, is the Power Rangers and Queen Beryl!”

Vipera says: “Do you think we should keep on eye on Dr. Maniac?”

Drako thinks about it, and says: “As a matter of fact, I think that would be a VERY good idea! Track Dr. Maniac and find out WHERE he is trying to run to! We'll monitor the next battle the Power Rangers have to fight against him. And if we absolutely HAVE to, we will swoop in and turn the tide in favor of the Power Rangers!”

Kraky says: “Are you suggesting, we pull an Enemy Mine with the Power Rangers?!”

Drako says: “It wouldn't be the first time that I have PULLED such a tactic! I did it when the Power Rangers fought General Crush, lest you FORGET that important fact! Besides, it's called 'Pragmatic Villainy!' And if we help the Power Rangers now, they might be willing to trust us more somewhere down the road. And that trust will be advantageous to us, if we want to deceive them, and draw them into a sinister trap, where YOU can do what you PLEASE with them, your Empress!”

Vipera smirks, and she says: “How unexpectedly fortunate for me! My Evil Genius dies a wimp, and RETURNS to life, as a Hyper-Competent Sidekick! I have a feeling that luck is finally going to turn on our side, for once! Yes, we shall monitor Dr. Maniac's movements, and find him WHEREVER he ends up running to! Won't Dr. Maniac be surprised, that instead of running FROM him, we end up running TO him, and be the ones who help finish him off ONCE and for all?! Troops, place the Diabolic on stand-by, and prepare to move out at a moment's notice! Dr. Maniac's days are numbered!” /

State of Shock: Part I

Captain Retro narrates, and he says: “Previously, on Power Rangers Multiverse Force; with the threat of M.O.D.O.K., and Dr. Maniac a very real possibility, I, along with StarHawk, were forced to undertake a very dangerous journey back into the past, in order to remove M.O.D.O.K.'s powers, as well as save the lives of two innocents. Unfortunately, Radiguet used the opportunity to defeat one of the Chaos Gods, and absorb his powers as a result. Thankfully, StarHawk and I were able to accomplish what we needed to do in the past, set up a stable time-loop, and were even able to retcon Toby and Ebony back to life as a result, not that the other Rangers have any memory of what they were like before. Now, that the other Rangers are aware of Radiguet's new powers, as well as what Dr. Maniac is planning next, we now all must prepare for what we must do next, and gird ourselves, for the fight that will help put an end to Dr. Maniac's evil schemes, once, and for all!”

Words appear on the screen, and they say: “Now, Present Day, the second to last Tuesday of 2178, Core Earth, Coastal Falls.”

The Power Rangers and Captain Retro are standing inside the Command Center, checking the power level of all their powers, knowing the situation that they will soon have to face, will require them to be at full strength. Queen Hedrian comes in, and she says: “I never thought it would come to this! Having to actually HELP the Power Rangers against Dr. Maniac! If he's captured Mettaton, there is no telling WHAT Dr. Maniac could DO with an invention like that!”

BlackHawk says: “I agree. Mettaton wasn't EXACTLY an easy fight! He went two for five against me when I was in the Underworld. Fortunately, with all of you with me, and now being much stronger, it SHOULD be easier this time!”

Lettuce says: “Provided Dr. Maniac doesn't MAKE any modifications to him before we FIND him on the Planet Onyx!” (Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep!)

Usagi answers it, and she asks: “Undyne, is that you?!”

Undyne wearily says: “Yes, but, activate the Viewing Globe, and see Alphys' lab.”

Alpha Eight moans nervously, and he says: “Ooh, I have a BAD feeling about this!”

Alpha Eight turns the Viewing Globe on, and sure enough, the Rangers are HORRIFIED at how TRASHED Alphys' lab looks right now! Pinkie says: “Oh, no! Everything is BROKEN! SMASHED! RUINED!”

Undyne wearily says: “That's not the worst part! Dr. Maniac and those warrior females; they captured Mettaton, AND now have Alphys as a hostage!”

Omnus seriously says: “Undyne, Dr. Maniac has gone TOO far this time! He must be STOPPED once and for all! Woolbur Fleeceley?!”

Woolbur turns around, and asks: “Yes?”

Omnus says: “It's time. Call in the Legendary Rangers!”

Woolbur takes out his S.P.D. Morpher, and punches in code: “1-9-9-3!”

And to the astonishment of everyone in the Command Center, seven streaks of light come down into the Command Center! One of blue, one of white, one of green, one of red, one of pink, one of yellow, and one of black! The lights dissipate, and BILLY, TOMMY, ADAM, ANDROS, KARONE, KIRA, and ANUBIS 'Doggie' Kruger appear in the Command Center! Naruto says: “Wow! It's all the Legendary Rangers we've met! You're going to help us on this mission?!”

Tommy says: “Of course we are! You don't think you're going to defeat Dr. Maniac without some of the BEST to help you out, do you?!”

StarHawk says: “Glad to have you along! We could use ALL the help we can get!”

Captain Retro says: “Speaking of help, Woolbur Fleeceley, you and the rest of the S.P.D. Power Rangers, need to stay behind on Core Earth, while the rest of us go on our mission to track down Dr. Maniac on Planet Onyx! We can't afford to leave Core Earth defenseless!”

Woolbur Fleeceley says: “Agreed! Commander Kruger, seeing as how my brother is still alive, should I give back this Morpher now?”

Anubis says: “There's no need to. I just got word that Justin has decided to resign his position of Blue S.P.D. Ranger, and go back to just being the Blue Turbo Ranger. The Morpher has now been given to your older brother Ramone Fleeceley. So, you are now the TRUE Green S.P.D. Ranger, Woolbur!”

Woolbur says: “Thank you, Commander. That means a lot to me!”

FireHawk says: “Just one question, how are we going to GET to Planet Onyx?! We can't just WARP there, that place is CRAWLING with low-life villains and scum! And I ought to know, I USED to associate with some of them!”

Karone says: “You wouldn't be the first, sorry to burst your bubble!”

Andros says: “I have already taken care of that! Follow me, everybody!”

The Rangers walk into the Zord bay, where they happen to SEE an amazing sight! The Original Dino Megazord, the Tigerzord, the Zeo Megazord, the Lost Galaxy Megazord, the Dino Thunder Megazord, and the S.P.D. Megazord! Adam says: “WOAH!!!! Billy, you've really OUTDONE yourself!”

Billy says: “This is the project that I've been working on with Coop, trying to bring some of the old Megazords back online! Sorry it took me so long; there were an awful lot of parts to go through for some of them, and they only work if you have every piece! I've managed to modify them to work with Capsule technology, to make transporting all the Zords a real breeze!”

And Billy pushes a button, that seals all of the Zords in easy to carry Capsules, similar to “DragonBall Z” technology! Billy puts the Capsules into a carrying case, into his left pocket, and Kira says: “Thank you, Billy, we really appreciate it!”

Andros says: “And it's time to reveal the space-ship that can get us there; the Astro Mega Ship Mark II!”

Alpha Seven comes out of the Mega Ship, and with a familiar voice says: “Oh, it's SO good to see you again, Tommy and Andros! It's been quite a while, hasn't it?”

Usagi says: “Well, we know that you're usually quite busy monitoring the safety of KO-35 and that section of the Universe! We don't want to keep you from your job!”

Captain Retro says: “And it's time for us to do our job! The time has come, to call upon our powers, once again!”

Billy says: “It's been a while, but, it's MORPHING TIME!!!!” /

Billy gets an upgraded morph, similar to Adam's from “Once a Ranger”, and he's standing in a desert, where the original Triceratops Zord comes wheeling in! Billy morphs, and he says: “Triceratops, Mighty Morphing Ranger Power!” / Tommy says: “It's MORPHING TIME!!!!” And Tommy also gets a similar upgraded morph, and he's standing in the middle of a rocky canyon, where the Tigerzord comes rushing in! Tommy morphs, and he says: “Tigerzord, Mighty Morphing Ranger Power!” / Adam says: “It's MORPHING TIME!!!!” And he gets a different, upgraded morph! Adam is standing in front of a mountain, and the Green, Bull Zeo Zord comes charging RIGHT through it! Adam morphs, and he says: “Zeo Ranger Four, Green!” / Andros says: “Let's Rocket!” Andros JUMPS on top of the Astro Mega Ship, which is RUSHING through the air, and Andros morphs! Andros says: “Red Astro Power Ranger!” / Karone says: “Go, Galactic!” Karone holds up the Quasar Saber, and surrounded by Pink flames, feels the power flow into her, as the Pink Wildcat Zord forms from the flames! Karone says: “Lost Galaxy Pink Wildcat Ranger Power!” / Kira says: “Dino Thunder, power up!” Kira doesn't get an upgraded morph, but she still goes through her usual routine, and says: “Ptera power, Yellow Ranger!”/ Doggie Kruger says: “S.P.D., Emergency!” And he also performs his usual morph! Doggie says: “S.P.D. Shadow Ranger!” /

Usagi says: “It's our turn, Multiverse Power Rangers, it's Morphing Time!” / Pinkie says: “Power of Venus! Aether!!!!” / FireHawk says: “Power of Earth! Air!!!!” / StarHawk says: “Power of Mercury! Water!!!!” / Lettuce says: “Power of Jupiter! Lightning!!!!” / Naruto says: “Power of Mars! Fire!!!!” / Usagi says: “Cosmorpher! Sailor Moon! White Ranger Power!!!!” / BlackHawk says: “Power of the Sun! Gold!!!!” / The Rangers all finish morphing, and Tommy says: “All right, everyone, it's time to get on board, find Dr. Maniac, and stop him!”

They all walk towards the Astro Mega Ship, when Sans and D.O.G., suddenly come rushing in! Sans says: “Wait! I just heard the news! Is it true that Dr. Maniac kidnapped Alphys and Mettaton?”

BlackHawk sighs, and although Sans can't see it, behind his helmet, BlackHawk is fighting to hold back tears, as he says: “Yes, Sans! I'm afraid its true.”

Than suddenly, Sans' eyes begin glowing in a violent red that BlackHawk has NEVER seen before (having avoided a True Genocide Route), and Sans' voice suddenly deepens, as he says: “Does Dr. Maniac REALLY want to HAVE a BAD time?! Because he's NOT going to like what happens NEXT!!!!”

Captain Retro walks up to Sans, and places his right hand on his left shoulder, seeming to distill some of his anger. Captain Retro says: “I know you're mad about what Dr. Maniac has done. That man...no, not anymore. That MONSTER has crossed the LAST line! I was holding out some small hope that he COULD be redeemed, but once you've gone THAT far, there's almost NO coming back from that! We're going to deal with him and STOP him! And we'll rescue Alphys!”

Sans asks: “And Mettaton? What about him?”

FireHawk says: “There's no telling what kind of modifications Dr. Maniac has already done to him! We'll do what we can, but I won't make any promises we can't keep!”

Sans says: “Than...you need to let me come WITH you! I've lived more lifetimes and time-lines than most beings, and I have always felt like I needed to hold back. Being stuck in the underground, my reality was reset so many times, I lost the will to care, and felt like I had no power to make a difference. But with Alphys kidnapped, I simply CAN'T stand by, not this time! I HAVE to care! I WILL save Alphys, and make Dr. Maniac, PERISH by my own hands! Even if it costs ME everything!”

StarHawk asks: “Captain Retro, what do YOU think about this?”

Captain Retro says: “We better take him with us. If Sans REALLY wants to do something, than there's almost no possibility of stopping him! But what I want to really know is, what are YOU doing here, D.O.G.?”

D.O.G., says: “On a piece of a paper, it appears that I have written a note. I wanted to remember something important!”

D.O.G., hands the piece of paper to Captain Retro, and Captain Retro reads it aloud, saying: “Captain Retro IS my brother!”

D.O.G., asks: “Well, is it TRUE?”

Captain Retro sighs, and says: “I'm sorry, but I wasn't ALLOWED to tell you or any member of my family, due to my connection to the Dog Guardian. You had to figure it out for yourself. Clifford was worried that you would be jealous to know I was chosen, and you, weren't.”

D.O.G., says: “I'm not jealous. You've always been the stronger one, and you have been through more than I could possibly know.”

Captain Retro says: “I wish we could play catch-up, but right now; there isn't any time! There is one small gift I want to entrust, though. Krash'ir, I think you can handle these!”

Captain Retro opens a box, and reveals five morphers, that look a LOT like the Magna Defender's morphing device! Omnus says: “The Legendary Thunder Morphers! I thought those were lost in the great battle 10,000 years ago!”

Captain Retro says: “The Magi-Mother actually found them while going on a spiritual walk-about in Neo-Austrailiasia. She told me I would know when the time was right to reveal them! Krash'ir, if you need to, find four others to give a morpher to. I trust your judgment.”

Krash'ir says: “I want to come with you.”

Usagi says: “I know you do, but one of us HAS to stay on Core Earth and take care of Sally Anne and protect her. And with the power of a Thunder Morpher, you would be able to do the job a lot better! What color do YOU want to be?!”

Krash'ir thinks about it, and says: “Blue. It just...feels right to me, somehow!”

Naruto says: “Very well, then! You'll take care of things on the home front, we'll go after Dr. Maniac and stop him, by any means NECESSARY!”

Lettuce says: “We'll be back in time for Christmas!”

D.O.G., says: “I sure hope so!”

The Rangers, Captain Retro, and Sans; all board the Astro Mega Ship. D.E.C.A., says: “Welcome, Andros. Please state your desired destination.”

Andros says: “The Planet Onyx! Intercept and stop Dr. Maniac! It's personal, this time!”

D.E.C.A., says: “Command confirmed! Calculating trajectory for any hazards. Route clear, setting speed for 4,000 times the speed of light! Counting down. Five, four, three, two, one, ignition!”

And the Astro Mega Ship blasts off, out of the atmosphere of Core Earth, and as soon as it enters into deep space, blasts off in a BLINDING flash, barreling towards Planet Onyx at nearly unimaginable speeds! D.O.G., says: “Wow! That WAS fast! We didn't even get a chance to say, 'Good luck'!” /

Meanwhile, off in the distance, the Diabolic has been hiding behind Core Earth's Moon, and sees the Rangers blast off. Drako says: “They've made their move! It's time to go!”

Vipera says: “And leave Core Earth in the hands of Queen Beryl?”

Baphomet says: “The Rangers have probably already made arrangements! Queen Beryl won't make much progress, IF any, knowing how resourceful the Rangers are!”

Kraky says: “I'm quite inclined to agree!”

Vipera says: “Very well! The Diabolic shall FOLLOW the Rangers, and ensure that Dr. Maniac does NOT escape their wrath!”

The Diabolic fires a laser, and creates a wormhole big enough for the Diabolic to go through, and enters it to quickly reach the planet of Onyx! /

Meanwhile, in Queen Beryl's palace, Kunzite and Zolzite are watching something, that while very old to humans, is VERY new to them, as they hear the theme song of “I Love Lucy” play on their TV! Queen Beryl shouts: “Will you turn down that INFERNAL racket?! You're interrupting my 23 hours of BEAUTY sleep!”

Abaddon says: “You might want to shoot for 24.”

Queen Beryl shouts: “WHAT?!!!”

Abaddon sheepishly says: “Nothing!”

Kunzite says: “This is what Dr. Maniac WAS talking about! He was just a little off on his calculations on when this TV program would finally get to us!”

On the TV screen, the character, Ricky Ricardo says: “Hey, Lucy, I'm HOME!!!!”

Zolzite says: “It makes a lot more sense now, hearing the ORIGINAL source material!”

Queen Beryl says: “I think it stinks! It's not even in COLOR for crying out loud! Isn't there anything ELSE good on?!”

Abaddon says: “With access to only THREE Earth channels playing programs from the 1950's? Good luck with THAT!”

Queen Beryl then sees Lucy on-screen, dressed as Carmen Miranda, and wearing a fruity hat. Queen Beryl says: “Hold the phone, pause it right there!”

And Abaddon magically pauses the action in place! Queen Beryl says: “That gives me a REALLY great idea!”

Kunzite says: “Are we going to FORCE Core Earth to watch only outdated, politically incorrect TV programs from the 1950's?”

Queen Beryl says: “Even better! We're going to turn that FRUITY hat that Lucy is wearing, into a diabolical Youkai! Kunzite, you may do the honors!”

Zolzite says: “But Kunzite got to make the LAST Youkai! It's MY turn to make a Youkai!”

Abaddon says: “Tell you what, we'll split the difference. Why don't you BOTH make the Youkai this time? That way, it will be TWICE as strong!”

Kunzite says: “Fine with me. As long as it generates the energy needed to revive Queen Metalia, that's all I care about.”

Queen Beryl says: “Than make it happen!”

Kunzite and Zolzite simultaneously say: “From our magic, we now seek, bring to us a FRUIT Freak!”

They zap the TV, copy the Fruity Hat that Lucy is wearing, bring it OUT of the TV screen, and then transform it into a feminine monster made up of a bunch of different fruits! The only problem is, it's in black and white! Queen Beryl yells: “That monster looks nothing LIKE Core Earth fruit, you IDIOTS!”

Zolzite says: “You want it in COLOR?! Sheesh, you're SO picky!”

Zolzite zaps the monster again, and fixes its coloring problem, so the monster is now displaying its fruits in wonderful, glorious Technicolor. Fruit Freak says: “I am Fruit Freak! I'm going to turn the Power Rangers and anything they try to protect into a delicious, but very PUREED, fruit smoothie!”

Queen Beryl says: “We know who YOU are, THEY created you! And you can start by going down to Core Earth now, seek the one called Usagi, and give HER a blending she won't soon forget!”

Abaddon says: “Begging your majesty's pardon, but it seems like Usagi and the other Power Rangers, are not ON Core Earth right now!”

Queen Beryl says: “Come on! They HAVE to BE there! Where ELSE would they be?!”

Abaddon says: “According to my scanners, they are on the Astro Mega Ship, and heading for the Planet Onyx at 4,000 times the speed of light! Of course, they wouldn't go THERE unless they had a good reason to! It looks like you'll have to put your plans for Usagi on hold!”

Queen Beryl says: Forget Usagi! We'll continue as planned! With no Power Rangers to get in the way, Fruit Freak can gather energy uninhibited! Fruit Freak, you KNOW your task! Now, carry it out!”

Fruit Freak says: “At once, your majesty!” And Fruit Freak warps to Core Earth!

Queen Beryl says: “With no Power Rangers to get in the way THIS time, it's only a question of 'When' Queen Metalia will be revived, and not 'If'! I just LOVE it when I'm nasty!” /

Of course, the instant that Fruit Freak touches down on Core Earth, in Brazil of ALL places, the alarms in the Command Center go off! Alpha 8 says: “Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi! This is JUST what we DIDN'T need at this moment!”

Omnus says: “Calm down, Alpha 8. Krash'ir has the Thunder Morphers. She WILL find four candidates to give them to.”

Queen Hedrian says: “Do you really think so?”

Omnus says: “Of course. Usagi has kept Krash'ir informed of all the important souls that the Power Rangers have saved. I know she will make the right call!” /

Meanwhile, at Krash'ir's apartment, Krash'ir is sharpening her blade, when the communicator she is wearing, goes off! Beep! Beep! Ba-beep! Beep! Beep! Sally Anne asks: “What's that sound, mommy?”

Krash'ir says: “It means there might be trouble somewhere, sweetie. Mommy MAY have to hire a sitter for you, soon!” She pushes the communicator, and says: “Talk to me, Omnus, what have we got?”

Omnus says: “Krash'ir, Queen Beryl has unleashed a new Youkai called Fruit Freak, and it has landed in Brazil. We know your appetite, but ONE cannot do this job alone! I trust you have four good candidates in mind?”

Krash'ir says: “Of course, but I can't leave Sally Anne unattended.”

Omnus says: “I've already taken the liberty of contacting Papyrus! He should be there--.”

Papyrus knocks on the door and loudly says: “DID SOMEBODY CALL FOR A SITTER?!”

Omnus says: “That was faster than I thought he would be!”

Krash'ir opens the door, and she says: “Thank you Papyrus, for coming over on short notice!”

Papyrus walks in, and he says: “If Sans can do it, how HARD can it be for me?!”

Krash'ir says: “Sally's formula is in the fridge, make sure she gets a nap every three hours, or she will get cranky, and don't let her NEAR the room where I keep the guns, the weapons, the knives, and that one picture where I think I'm making a WEIRD face in it! Well...weirder than I usually do! Sally, listen to EVERYTHING that Uncle Papyrus says, and STAY out of trouble! I'll be back before dark, Mommy has business to take care of!”

And Krash'ir warps out of her apartment! Papyrus pulls out a Blu-Ray, and says: “Who wants to watch The Little Mermaid?!” And Sally Anne SQUEES with delight! /

Krash'ir warps to Camp Kidney first, and she says: “This is a good place to start! I can get TWO candidates here if I'm lucky! But they might be intimidated by how I look! I better MORPH into something a less overwhelming! Now, if I remember the archives correctly, the morph went something like this! It's MORPHING time!” /

Krash'ir is standing inside what looks like a computer grid, and a very impressive (by 1993 standards) computer graphic image of the Blue Kirin Thunderzord appears behind her, and she morphs into the Blue Thunderzord Power Ranger! Krash'ir says: “Blue Kirin Thunderzord power!” /

Krash'ir looks at the finished result, and she says: “I could get USED to this!”

She then sees Samson and Patsy walking towards the cafeteria, and she says: “Samson, Patsy! I need to talk to you!”

Samson asks: “You're a Power Ranger? I've never seen one that looks like YOU before. Although you DO remind me of that Tigerzord, White Ranger!”

Krash'ir says: “I don't have much time to explain! There's a dangerous monster attacking Brazil, and the regular Power Rangers are already dealing with a previous engagement!”

Patsy asks: “A previous engagement? What does THAT mean?”

Krash'ir says: “I'll fill you in later. I KNOW it's asking for a lot, but you two are PERFECT candidates to become Thunder Rangers!”

Patsy's eyes light up, and she asks: “You mean, I get my OWN Master Morpher?!”

Krash'ir says: “Well, it's a Thunder Morpher, but you've got the general idea!”

Samson says: “I've trained my body six years for an opportunity like this! Of course I'll take it!”

Krash'ir says: “That's the spirit! Now, pick any color you'd like! Pink Flloyd reference!”

Samson says: “Red!”

Patsy asks: “Why do YOU get to be red?!”

Samson says: “Well, I AM already wearing a red loin-cloth!”

Patsy says: “LUCKY! And I suppose, that BECAUSE I have pink hair, that somehow would make ME, the Pink Ranger!”

Samson says: “Well, SOMEBODY has to be! Besides, Pink Rangers almost ALWAYS have a skirt on them, or so I've noticed!”

Patsy groans, and says: “Fine, I'll take the Pink morpher! Better than NOTHING!”

Krash'ir says: “Perfect! Take these communicators!”

And she tosses them both a wrist communicator, and Krash'ir activates hers, and she says: “Omnus! I've got the Red and Pink Thunder Rangers! Tell them they're morphing call and warp them to Brazil immediately! Someone has GOT to keep the Fruit Freak at bay until I find the other candidates!”

Omnus says: “Of course! Samson and Patsy, the time has come! Samson, your morphing call is the Red Dragon Thunderzord! Patsy, your morphing call is the Pink Phoenix Thunderzord!”

Patsy's eyes light up again, and she says: “Pink Phoenix, huh? Suddenly, the Pink Ranger sounds like a pretty AWESOME power!”

Samson says: “That's the spirit! It's morphing time!” /

Samson gets a similar morph to Krash'ir's, only, a 1993 styled computer generated model of the Red Dragon Thunderzord appears behind him, and he morphs into the Red Dragon Thunder Ranger! Samson says: “Red Dragon Thunderzord power!” /

Patsy also gets a similar morph, and for her, a 1993 styled computer generated model of the Pink Phoenix Thunderzord appears behind her, and she morphs into the Pink Phoenix Thunder Ranger! Patsy says: “Pink Phoenix Thunderzord power!” /

After they finish morphing, they are both astonished by the results! Samson says: “Wow! These suits are pretty fancy!”

Krash'ir says: “You can admire your suits later! Right now, Brazil needs you!”

Patsy says: “Right! I already HAVE a little experience of being a Ranger, I'll show Samson the ropes until you're able to help us...by the way, we haven't even gotten your NAME yet!”

Krash'ir is taken aback, and although she doesn't show it through her visor, she IS a little nervous! Krash'ir says: “My name is...Krash'ir. I'm a friend of the regular Rangers!”

Samson wonders aloud: “What kind of parents...no. It's not important. If you're friends with the regular Rangers, that's good enough for us! Omnus, take us to Brazil!”

And Omnus warps the two of them to Brazil! Krash'ir says: “That's two down, and two more to go! And I know just where to FIND those two!” /

Samson and Patsy land in Brazil! Patsy says: “So THIS is what Lazlo's home country looks like! I always WANTED to take a visit here PERSONALLY!”

Samson says: “We don't have time to see the sights, look!”

And in the direction that Samson is pointing, he sees the Fruit Freak monster, zapping a bunch of running people, and turning them into a FRUIT of whatever color their shirt happens to be! Samson says: “Honestly, I feel like that's only the SECOND weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life!”

Patsy says: “I defer to your OWN personal experience! We've got to STOP that Fruit Freak before he eats those fruits, or else we'll NEVER be able to turn those people back to normal! Do you mind if I take the lead?”

Samson says: “I heard that Kimberly once led a make-shift team of Power Rangers to fight against a monster that Goldar had created, and Jen was the TECHNICAL leader of the Time Force Power Rangers, so it's certainly NOT unheard of. So by all means, go right ahead!”

Patsy says: “Right! Hey, Fruit Freak! Didn't your mother ever teach you to wash your orange hand/banana fingers BEFORE handling unwashed fruit?”

Fruit Freak asks: “Who dares to talk to—AHH!!!!”

Samson strikes a pose, and answers: We do! Red Dragon Thunder Ranger!”

Patsy strikes a pose, and she says: “Pink Phoenix Thunder Ranger!”

They simultaneously say: “We are the Mighty Morphing Thunder Rangers!” And a red colored, and a pink colored explosion unexpectedly appear behind them simultaneously! /

Abaddon is monitoring the action and says: “WHAT?! MORE new Rangers! I've never even SEEN these Power Rangers before...that I KNOW of!”

Queen Beryl says: “That dirty, STINKING Omnus! He always has to meddle in my plans! Well, if he wants a fight, he's going to get it! Fruit Freak is NOT to be taken lightly!” / Krash'ir warps to the Little's rebuilt, refurbished mansion, and she says: “Here's stop number 2! I just hope that Ace and Abby are WILLING to let Coop and D.O.G., see action!”

She rings the doorbell, and Coop answers it! He asks: “Krash'ir! Is that YOU?!”

Krash'ir asks: “How did YOU know I was Krash'ir?!”

Coop slyly answers: “Because you just TOLD me!”

Krash'ir face-palms her helmet, and she says: “I've REALLY got to learn to STOP falling for that! Is D.O.G., here?”

Coop says: “Yes, he just got back. But what do you need D.O.G., for?”

Krash'ir says: “Actually, I need both him AND you for what I'm about to ask for!”

Abby runs to the door and she asks: “Now who in the world would interrupt my Netflix viewing of Grace and Frankie?! A Power Ranger?! Well, this IS an unexpected, yet somehow, not really a surprising event, considering everything WE'VE been through!”

D.O.G., runs to the door, and he says: “Ooh! We have a guest! Should I whip up some treats?!”

Krash'ir says: “Sorry, D.O.G., but I don't have time for treats! Abby, I need to ask you and Ace for a favor!”

Ace comes to the door, and he says: “Whatever you need, we're happy to help!”

Krash'ir says: “Perfect! I need Coop and D.O.G., for their help and assistance! I need them to become Thunder Power Rangers!”

D.O.G., asks: “You want ME, to become a Power Ranger?!”

Abby stomps her foot down and says: “NO! Absolutely NOT! I already FRET every single time BlackHawk goes out on a mission, and that's even KNOWING that death is only a slap on the WRIST for him! I mean, D.O.G., is FINE! He's been around since the 1970's! But Coop is out of the question!”

Coop says: “MOM!!!! I'm already twelve! And I've been through so MUCH already! Besides, have you already FORGOTTEN the kind of power that I currently have?!”

Ace says: “I've actually been WONDERING that myself!”

Coop says: “Shadow Chicken Aura, ACTIVATE!!!!”

And Coop manifests a BIG, muscular, heroic chicken Aura, that EASILY fills up the entire room of that Mansion! Abby's beak is agape, and she says: “WOAH!!!! I sure am glad we DIDN'T put a fancy chandelier anywhere in our mansion THIS time!”

Coop says: “Shadow Chicken Aura, De-Activate!”

And the Aura dissipates! Coop says: “Mom, I know it's going to be dangerous! But I've already been through so much worse! Remember the Night Master and Eradicus? I can clearly handle myself! Besides, I'll have D.O.G., to protect me! And Krash'ir won't let anything bad happen to me! I'm not like Justin, I won't try to rush into any situation that I can't handle, and I won't get in the way or make matters worse, not even unwittingly! Omnus NEEDS our help! What would Ace do?!”

Ace says: “Well, he's certainly got more power than Robert Palmer and the Power Station, that's for sure! And he's certainly got a better head on his shoulders than a good number of others who have called themselves Rangers over the years. I KNOW he won't let us down!”

Abby groans, and she says: “I'm just sick and TIRED of feeling so HELPLESS compared to you guys! I guess you're MORE like your brother than I thought you were. Now, let's see if all those academic trophies that you won are worth their weight in paper!”

Coop says: “Are you giving me your blessing?”

Abby says: “Not happily, but I'll do it. I feel better knowing you chose Coop and D.O.G., over far LESS qualified candidates that you could have picked!”

Krash'ir says: “Rest assured, Abby, I'll keep these two safe no MATTER the cost to MY personal health and safety!”

Abby says: “Thank you, I feel SO much better!”

Krash'ir says: “I only have two Morpher colors here. Green and yellow. I'm not sure which one you want.”

D.O.G., says: “I don't mind being a Yellow Ranger.”

Coop says: “Are you SURE?! Isn't the Yellow Ranger usually a female?”

Krash'ir says: “Often? Yes; but it's not a STRICT rule! The Yellow Ranger power is more gender neutral than the other Ranger Powers, so it's more flexible on which gender can be that power. That's why a LOT of Yellow Rangers DON'T have skirts, it ALLOWS for that flexibility!”

Coop says: “I always WONDERED about that! Well mom, I guess that means you got to go shopping for me!”

Abby asks: “Shopping? What for?”

Coop says: “For new GREEN clothes! I noticed a severe LACK of GREEN in my wardrobe!”

Ace says: “Yep! He's like his brother, all right!”

Abby says: “Maybe so, but he's definitely a little bit brighter, for the wear! Also, NONE of you are to EVER tell BlackHawk that I ever SAID that to any of you, EVER!”

Krash'ir says: “Forgetting! And you two, take these communicators!”

She tosses them two wrist communicators, and D.O.G., says: “WOW! I've always DREAMED about having one of these things! Now that dream has come true!”

Krash'ir activates her communicator, and she says: “Omnus, I've got the other two Power Rangers! How are the others holding up?”

Omnus says: “They are doing fine, but they need your help in order to finish off Fruit Freak! Coop, your morphing call is the Green Lion Thunderzord power! D.O.G., your morphing call is the Yellow Korin Thunderzord Power!”

Coop says: “Got it! I always WANTED to say this! It's MORPHING time!” /

Coop gets a morph similar to the one Krash'ir has, and for him, he gets a 1993 computer graphic styled image of the Green Lion Thunderzord behind him. He morphs into the Green Lion Thunderzord Ranger, grows to FULL adult height, and he says: “Green Lion Thunderzord power!” /

D.O.G., gets a morph similar to Coop's, and for him, he gets a 1993 computer graphic styled image of the Yellow Korin Thunderzord behind him. He morphs into the Yellow Korin Thunderzord Ranger, and he says: “Yellow Korin Thunderzord power!” /

Ace looks at Coop's finished result, and he says: “WOAH! And I thought that MY growth spurt was surprisingly big and fast!”

Coop says: “Don't worry! I may be big, but I'm STILL the same Coop on the inside!”

Abby says: “Don't go changing TOO much, except into a Power Ranger to beat up whatever bad guys or girls you NEED to beat up!”

Krash'ir says: “Rest assured, I will keep these two safe! Omnus, warp us to Brazil!”

And the three of them warp out of the mansion! Abby says: “First BlackHawk, than D.O.G., now Coop is a Power Ranger as well. How did WE get to be the ONLY two in this residence without ANY Ranger Powers whatsoever?”

Ace says: “It's not the morpher that counts. It's the spirit, attitude, and skill that's more important than anything. I know that Coop and D.O.G., will make us proud.”

Abby says: “You're right. I know they'll be okay.” /

Radiguet is viewing the city of Corinth in the “Power Rangers R.P.M.” dimension, eagerly eying his next conquest! Gray the Robot says: “THIS is the dimension you want to conquer SO badly?! Seems like a waste of time to me. There are HARDLY enough people remaining in this dimension to even WARRANT you calling it a trophy!”

Radiguet rolls his eyes and says: “As I've told you SO many times, it's not the amount of people that are important, it's anyone who happens to be a BLASTED Power Ranger themselves! Despite Venjix's best efforts, the Power Rangers have somehow managed to thrive here as well. I will do what Venjix couldn't and FINISH them off myself!”

Tranza walks in, and he says: “Sire, our scanners indicate that Dr. Maniac has fled to the Planet Onyx, just as you anticipated! The Power Rangers are on the Astro Mega Ship Mark II, closing in behind him as we speak!”

Radiguet gets a slasher smile and says: “Excellent! And while we're busy SLAUGHTERING all those SICK sexual DEVIANTS who worship that DISGUSTING Sla'neesh HERE, it will SURELY attract his attention! Then, I will capture HIM in a Way Stone like I did T'zeen'tch, than, Khorne will be no match for me, once I FINISH with this dimension HERE!!!!”

A Valley Girl voice says: “Oh, poo! Must you always sound SO predictable?!”

Radiguet turns around and he says: “WHAT?!!!”

Everyone turns around, and STARES at the beautiful, blonde-haired woman, dressed up in traditional Greek clothing, wearing Greek sandals, and carrying a Golden Apple!

The woman says: “Come, now! Is that any way to react to a former flame?”

Radiguet says: “Eris! How did YOU get on my ship?! It's not even in YOUR dimension at the moment, or haven't you NOTICED?!”

Eris says: “In case you have forgotten, I just HAPPEN to be the Goddess of Discord. And as such, my powers allow me to warp to anywhere I want to be. Even if that place HAPPENS to be a place where YOU don't want me to be!”

Radiguet says: “My more pressing question is, why have YOU decided to come here?! If you think I'm going to take you BACK after the LIE that YOU pulled on me, you're WRONG! You said you were FERTILE, and YOU turned out to be BARREN! NEVER able to have kids! I only MARRY women who CAN, HAVE, and WILL produce a suitable HEIR to my family lineage whenever I WANT her to! And who DON'T talk BACK to ME unless SPOKEN to!”

Eris scoffs, and she says: “Oh, PLEASE! The only reason MARIA is STILL with you, is because you're BRAINWASHING her into WANTING to be with you! And WHY are you STILL imitating, Him, from The Powerpuff Girls? We all KNOW that's NOT your REAL voice!”

Radiguet reveals a hidden voice box hiding under his shirt, he removes it, and suddenly starts talking JUST like Adam Driver! Radiguet says: “Is that what you want to hear? To hear me with my real voice? Well, wish granted! Of course, it hardly matters what I sound like! Either way, I strike fear into the hearts of millions!”

Eris says: “Not to me, you don't! And I actually LOVED you the way you were BEFORE! Back before your father, Egos Satan started to manipulate you and turn into the psychopathic MONSTER that you are now!”

Radiguet says: “Well, my mother, Empress Jooza, ALSO tried to kill me, in case you forgot!”

Eris says: “Your Freudian Excuse is NO excuse for your OWN personal actions, Radiguet! And someday, your actions WILL be taken into account by the Guardians, and I can assure you, they will NOT be as merciful to you, as I'm being now!”

Radiguet says: “Aslan is gone, thanks to the White Witch. And the other Guardians don't concern me. Besides, it's not THEM that I'm after. My goal is the remaining Chaos Gods, offing the Crimson King, and making the Space Emperor's powers my own. Than, EVERYONE will worship me like the God I TRULY will have become! And don't worry, once I'm old and I've had my fun, among the beings that I decide are WORTH sparing, I'll give ALL of them super-powers, so that EVERYONE can be super! And when EVERYONE'S super, NO ONE will BE! See how THAT works?”

Eris says: “Sorry to throw a KINK into your plans, but I happen to KNOW how the Chaos Gods work, being the Goddess of Discord herself! And as such, I happen to know that they are NOT just going to LET you proceed with YOUR plans the way you EXPECT them to! Which is why both Khorne and Sla'neesh outvoted Nurgle, to select me to carry out their plans!”

Radiguet asks: “And what plans are those? Invading that Eldritch Location called Endsville AGAIN? Where the Grim Reaper is FORCED to be best friends with a bratty, creepy girl, and a boy with the I.Q., of a ravioli? Sounds REALLY scary, Eris!”

Eris scoffs: “Been there, done that! Since you don't think the team of Power Rangers HERE, are much of a threat to you, I thought I'd provide you with a little more sport. Using MY Golden Apple of Discord, I shall bring back to life, ALL the teams of Power Rangers who EVER inhabited the Power Rangers R.P.M. Dimension!”

And she throws the Golden Apple down on the ground of the ship, and sure enough, the scanners on Radiguet's ship, start to go CRAZY, as it indicated the life-forms of HUNDREDS of former Power Rangers, being brought back to life at the PEAK of their powers, ready to defend the city of Corinth! Eris says: “You're welcome! Now, do me a favor and have FUN with them! Oh, and just remember one thing! Don't get mad at me. Everything I do, I do it because I love and cherish people, in my own unique way. And if you should ever remember the man you used to be, just remember, I'm only a hop, skip, and a jump away, metaphorically speaking. Later, lover!”

And before any of them can do anything, Eris disappears through a magic wormhole, and warps away to points unknown! Tranza says: “She called you her LOVER! Who IS this Eris, anyways? And why do you happen to HATE her so much, BESIDES the reason you just mentioned?”

Radiguet asked: “WHY do I hate Eris so much? She's the embodiment of all GOOD, benevolent chaos. I'm the embodiment of all EVIL, malevolent chaos. DO THE MATH!!!! Well, Eris. You're certainly more crafty and manipulative than I gave you credit for. It's a PITY you had to upset me! There are only TWO types of beings in the Multiverse; those who WORSHIP me, and those who UPSET me. And you DON'T want to be a being that UPSETS me. Because...well, let's just say I can't guarantee the long-term health of anyone who upsets me.”

Tranza asks: “Do you want ME to go down to Corinth and handle the revived Power Rangers?”

Radiguet says: “I don't think that will be necessary. I'll just send down a few thousand of my personal Hell Fighters for them to remember me by. I know a good number of them have had to fight the Cogs in the past. But my Hell Fighters? They're like the Cogs on STEROIDS! And they DON'T take any prisoners! Hell Fighters, raise HELL!!!!”

The Hell Fighters say: “Sir, yes, sir!”

And they all warp down to Corinth! Radiguet says: “Well played, Sla'neesh. You've managed to DELAY the inevitable, ALL the worse for you! Instead of taking care of you SOONER, I'll take care of you LATER! I'll be ALL the stronger for it by then! Soon, Sla'neesh, I will personally make you PAY for all the HORRIBLE HELL YOU PUT ME THROUGH, I'll make you pay for it in SPADES!!!!” / /

D.E.C.A.'s alert system blares, and she says: “Planet Onyx detected! Exiting 4,000 times light speed now! Onyx is in range, and ready for you to warp.”

They exit out of the blazing warp speed, and see the wild, rocky planet of Onyx, proportionally below them, relative to their position in space. Andros says: “This is it, you guys! There's no turning back from this point here!”

Captain Retro says: “Don't worry. We wouldn't have come THIS far if we were just going to back out here and now! We WON'T let you down!”

Tommy says: “Right, then! Time for action!”

And the fourteen Rangers, Sans, and Captain Retro, warp down to Planet Onyx! Alpha 7 says: “Good luck, Rangers! May the power of Zordon protect you!” /

They land on Onyx, and they are all SHOCKED to see a giant fortress FILLED with technological weapons, radar systems, and sheer defenses that haven't been seen since 1985! Pinkie Pie asks: “What the HECK is THAT?!”

Lettuce says: “That's Dr. Maniac's fortress, rebuilt from the ground up!”

FireHawk says: “I guess if you invest your money WELL for about 200 years, you can BUY something pretty...UGLY, that IS!”

They hear a familiar cackling, and a giant, holographic image of Dr. Maniac appears in front of his fortress! Dr. Maniac says: “MWA, HA, HA, HA!!!! I KNEW you would come after me, like the predictable PEONS that you are! I've got Alphys hostage, if you DARE to try and SAVE her! You'll see my fortress, has EIGHT different entrances! But WHICH entrance is the RIGHT entrance that leads to MY inner lair?! Well, they ALL do, but EACH entrance and pathway has TERRIFYING traps and some of MY personal favorite MONSTERS, who I've REVIVED just for this occasion! What kind of traps and monsters you might ask? Well, that would be TELLING, wouldn't it?! Oh, and DON'T think you can just use ONE entrance and be DONE with it! You'll need the passwords you will obtain from ALL eight paths, in order to enter into my Inner Lair, and Lettuce, you CAN'T hammer your way through THAT door!”

Lettuce says: “Darn it!”

Dr. Maniac says: “Besides, if you WERE to leave any ONE of my monsters alive, they might very well get very ROUGH on Alphys or anyone ELSE you Rangers care about and protect! Fare well, though I know you won't! MWA, HA, HA!!!!”

Sans angrily says: “That MONSTER!!!!”

And Sans runs into the doorway marked number 4, and Captain Retro flies after him, and Captain Retro says: “Wait, Sans! You don't know what's in there!”

StarHawk asks: “Now what are we going to do?”

Billy says: “It looks like Dr. Maniac's fortress is too strong to blast apart. Besides, we can't risk hurting Alphys. We're simply going to have to fight our way through. Everybody partner up! Nobody faces a monster alone!”

Tommy says: “Agreed! Usagi, you come with me!”

Usagi says: “The honor is all mine!

Anubis 'Doggie' Kruger says: “FireHawk, you come with me!”

FireHawk says: “Yes, sir!

Andros says: “Naruto, you're with me!”

Naruto says: “Awesome!”

Lettuce says: “Pinkie, will you fight with me?”

Pinkie snarks back, and asks: “Don't you want to fight with your REAL girlfriend, Kira?!”

Lettuce says: “Come ON, Pinkie! I already apologized a hundred times about that STUPID shrine to Kira! To clarify, the SHRINE was stupid, not Kira; I mean...you know what I mean!”

Pinkie says: “I'm GOING with Karone! I'd trust the woman FORMERLY known as Astronema, more than I CURRENTLY trust YOU!”

Lettuce says: “Than tell me! What do I have to do to get your trust back BESIDES destroying that STUPID Shrine, which I already did?!”

Pinkie says: “If you want my trust, than you'll EARN it! Otherwise, I WON'T be giving you the time of DAY!!!!”

Adam pats Lettuce on the shoulder, and he says: “It's okay, Lettuce, you can come with me.”

Lettuce asks: “Have you EVER had any relationship troubles like this?”

Adam says: “Not with Tanya, I haven't. But then again, it's NOT like she HAD any actual competition in MY books! You want MY advice? You need to prove that your SELFLESS and willing to put Pinkie's OWN needs above your own, IF you truly DO care as much for her as you SAY that you do!”

Lettuce says: “Selfless, bold, and caring? I can do that!”

Adam says: “Than you're already half-way there! The rest is up to you!”

Billy says: “StarHawk, do you want to partner up with me?”

StarHawk asks: “May I, BlackHawk?”

BlackHawk says: “I think it would be a good learning experience, so go ahead.”

StarHawk says: “Thanks, BlackHawk!

Kira says: “I guess that means you're partnering up with me, BlackHawk!”

Pinkie asks: “Are YOU two going to get up to anything?”

BlackHawk says: “First of all, she's NOT my type! And secondly, she's NOT even my same species! I don't know WHY, but for some reason, I just don't think a Hawkian/human relationship would work for me, or for her.”

StarHawk says: “If you can trust me, than I know I can trust you!”

Adam points, and he says: “See, right there? BlackHawk and StarHawk have the right idea.”

Andros says: “All right, Rangers, let's move!”

Billy and StarHawk run into the doorway, with the number one; Tommy and Usagi run into the doorway with the number two; Adam and Lettuce run into the doorway with the number three; Andros and Naruto run into the doorway with the number five; Karone and Pinkie run into the doorway with the number six; Kira and BlackHawk run into the doorway with the number seven; and Anubis and FireHawk run into the doorway with the number eight. As soon as all of the Rangers enter the fortress, the doors slam shut behind them! Naruto says: “Well, looks like we won't be leaving through the front door!”

Andros says: “Definitely not if Dr. Maniac can help it! From here on out, we'll all have to rely on each other to see this through!”

Naruto says: “I know we are ALL up to this task at hand!” /

To Be Continued...

 

[SBCinema]

Beyond based

[Who Is Your Favorite Looney Tunes Character?]

Daffy in his "Duck Dodgers" and TLTS incarnations.

[Chocolate? Did you say, "Chocolate"!?]

yes sir, with or without nuts

Personally I've always loved milk chocolate.

[Make a SpongeBob season!]

14a. Patrick the Pastafarian: Patrick embraces Pastafarianism, and attempts to spread the good word of The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

[Make a SpongeBob season!]

12b. Pearl vs. the World: Pearl gets a girlfriend, but first she has to defeat her new beau's 7 Evil Exes.

[Appetizer's Last Ask Topic, I Promise]

Have you read DD40K yet?

[Duck Dodgers 40,000]

 

Quote

“Duck Dodgers. Some call him a hero, a savior, and an inspiration. Others call him a coward, an egotist, and a fool. All of these things are true, to an extent. I would know. I spent a few years alongside Dodgers, observing him and recording his actions.

 

I suppose I should recount when he first emerged into the Imperium at large. He was found deep underground on Holy Terra by a group of Tech-Priests, all of whom were in the middle of some ritual. They had discovered the cryopod containing Dodgers, and were praying to the machine spirit inside, when one of them managed to press the button that thawed him. He was brought out of cryosleep, quite confused and demanding to know where he was. The Tech-Priests nearly shot him for, in their view, defiling a machine with his presence inside.

 

After a few months of paperwork, shouting matches, tangled bureaucratic dealings, and violence, Duck Dodgers was given the same privileges as a Rogue Trader. Meaning, he was given a ship that was equipped with a Warp drive and came with a small crew, and sent away from Terra, so the High Lords did not have to deal with him anymore.

 

One member of that crew was me. Amberley Vail, Inquisitor of the Ordos Xenos, author of Ciaphas Cain’s memoirs, and subject of many a Guardsmen’s lewd fantasies. I went with Dodgers in order to keep an eye on him, because, despite how harmless he seemed, he was still an alien, and no one had any idea what he might do. At least, that was the official reason I went. The more personal reason was that I thought I saw the same spark of potential in Dodgers as I did in Ciaphas Cain so many years ago.

 

By the Emperor...I could not have been more wrong...”

 

- Inquisitor Amberley Vail, The Tale of Duck Dodgers: A Memoir.

The Inquisitor and the Duck

 

Inquisitor Amberley Vail cleared her throat, smoothing out the parchment in front of her and picking up an ink pen. "You know, I have seen many strange and unbelievable things." She said to the unusual figure sitting across from her. "But never anything quite as odd as a walking, talking duck."

 

The duck folded his arms, frowning. “You think I’m odd? Listen, toots, I woke up buried far beneath the earth in a cryogenics pod surrounded by cyborgs. See, that’s odd.” The duck, who was much shorter than Amberley at 3 ½ feet, looked at her with his large white eyes; he had no visible sclera, his pupils single black dots. His feathers were equally dark, his bill and feet bright orange; the only other distinguishing feature being the small white ring around his neck. “Now, you wanna tell me just what in Jones’ name is going on here? Because I need to go collect my money for that government experiment. Being frozen for who-knows-how-long ain’t free, ya know.”

 

“The ‘government’ you speak of no longer exists.” the Imperial Guardsman standing beside the duck informed him. “It’s a long-gone myth as far as we know.” The duck stared blankly at Amberley, his pupils having shrunk into near-nothingness.

 

“A-a-myth…?” he asked. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. Bugs...Lola….Tina...all of them were long-dead...it couldn’t be.

 

"What year was it when you entered the cryopod?" Amberley asked. The duck, or ‘Daffy’, as he preferred to be called, put a finger to his beak in contemplation.

 

“...2014, I believe. Yeah, that’s it. 2014.” Daffy answered after a minute or two.

 

Amberley stared at him for several seconds. "By the Emperor…"

 

Daffy blinked. “What? Was it something I said?” No immediate response. “Yoo-hoo, Blondie?” Daffy snapped his fingers in front of Amberley’s face. Still no response.

 

"Guardsman...what is the current year?"

 

“953.M41, Inquisitor.”

 

Daffy blinked. “....So, almost 38,000 years have passed?” He paused. “Wow, I’m better at math than I thought.”

 

The Guardsman joined Amberley in staring at Daffy now. “By the Emperor indeed, Inquisitor. This...this duck...he’s from the Age of Terra.”

 

"You're a living relic." Amberley said. "The oldest technology in the Imperium comes from the Dark Age, but no humans from that era still live. Technology older than that is unheard of. But a piece of tech from the Age of Terra, in addition to a living being…"

 

“Then we have a very rare find.” the Guardsman concluded.

 

“Hey, buddy, what’s your name?” Daffy interrupted.

 

“McKimson. Guardsman McKimson.”

 

“Alrighty then, McKimson, let me get this straight: I’m some kinda relic to you weirdos? Then why’d those cyborg guys try to kill me when they activated the pod?”

 

“Because to the tech-priests you were ‘desecrating the machine spirit’.” McKimson answered, then laughed a bit. “Wait till the cogboys hear about this…”

 

"Tech-priests of the Adeptus Mechanicus." Amberley explained. "They dwell on Mars, and are the ones who keep the technology of the Imperium running. They're also fanatically religious, and tend to kill people who, intentionally or not, meddle with their work. They worship machines, believing that they all have spirits, which must be revered."

 

Daffy blinked, and nodded to act like he understood (which he honestly didn’t). “So they tried killing me because I was in the pod?” Daffy’s eyes darted up, as if he were pondering again. “That explains the ‘you dare violate the will of the Omnissiah, xeno!’ bit they were screaming at me.”

 

"Xenos in general tend not to be treated kindly by the Imperium." Amberley said. "At best, they are tolerated."

 

“Like you are right now.” McKimson added.

 

"Calling the Fabricator-General of the Mechanicus a 'cyborg freak' hasn't done you any favors." Amberley continued.

 

“....Again, he tried to kill me. Do I keep having to repeat myself!? And besides, didn’t your friend just call ‘em ‘cogboys’? If you ask me, that’s way more offensive.”

 

"The High Lords still might try to kill you." Amberley replied.

 

“....Who?”

 

"The governing council of the Imperium. The Fabricator-General is one of them."

 

“...Oh, poo.” Daffy muttered.

 

"As an Inquisitor, I don't report to the High Lords, so I am free to ignore any commands to hand you over. But they have other ways of having you killed. So, I have come up with a solution."

 

“What kind of a solution?” Daffy asked.

 

"You'll become a Rogue Trader, a conquistador, freelance explorer and merchant working for the Imperium of Man. You'll be given a ship, crew, and an Imperial Warrant of Trade granting you the full privileges of such a station. Being a Rogue Trader will take you beyond the borders of the Imperium, exploring unknown worlds. In your task of exploring and exploiting the still-uncharted regions of the galaxy for Mankind, you might come across worlds harbouring long-forgotten human civilisations which will be later incorporated into the Imperium by official Adeptus Mechanicus Explorator fleets and expeditions of the Imperial Navy and Astra Militarum. Other times, you may find empty or alien-dominated planets ripe for colonisation, conquest or exploitation by the Imperium -- and yourself. Being a Rogue Trader comes with risk and grave danger, but it can also lead to immense wealth and glory. So, what do you say? Will you accept this opportunity?" 

 

Daffy responded by his eyes briefly turning into dollar signs; McKimson and Amberley could hear a loud ‘cha-ching!’ from nowhere.“You had me at ‘wealth and glory’.”

 

Deciding to ignore the unusual occurrence, Amberley nodded and got up. "Splendid. Your ship is waiting for you. Follow me, please." Daffy followed behind her, giddy as could be.

 

“Rich...I’m gonna be rich…!” he kept muttering to himself.

 

"Have all the crewmembers reported in?" Amberley asked McKimson.

 

“Yes, Inquisitor. Tell me, why is your retinue on the list?”

 

"If I am going to be venturing out into the unknown, I want people I trust watching my back."

 

“...You’re doing this to keep an eye on...what’s his name? I don’t think either you or I know it."

 

She nodded. "The last thing the Imperium needs is for him to go off on his own and cause problems. Now, aside from my retinue and the Guardsmen, who else is on the list?"

 

“....Ciaphas Cain, Inquisitor.”

 

She stopped dead in her tracks. "Ciaphas?"

 

McKimson nodded.

 

Amberley started walking again, trying to keep a smile off her face. "Anyone else?"

 

McKimson handed her the list. “See for yourself.”

 

Amberley looked it over, raising a brow. "Are those Martian names?" She asked incredulously.

 

McKimson blinked. “...Yes. Ciaphas figured that they would serve as menial labor.”

 

"Indeed. I was just surprised to see Martian names on here, considering the Imperium has largely ignored their presence."

 

“They’re beneath notice?” Daffy suddenly appeared between them, causing McKimson to loudly curse.

 

“EMPEROR’S GOLDEN BALLSACKS, WHERE’D YOU COME FROM!?”

 

“Weeeell, when a mommy duck and a daddy duck love each other very much, or at the very least want to bang without protection…”

 

"You're lucky you weren't shot." Amberley said. "McKimson tends to shoot first and ask questions later."

 

“Remember last time, Inquisitor?” McKimson said.

 

"When I startled you, and you nearly blew my head off?"

 

“I was aiming for your tits, Inquisitor.” McKimson joked.

 

"So does Ciaphas." Amberley said dryly. "Except he uses a different weapon."

 

“That’s what she said.” Daffy interjected, McKimson giving him a quirked brow. “....You wouldn’t get it.”

 

They soon arrived at the ship. It was a small, nimble vessel, named The Emperor's Eye. Daffy immediately settled in the Captain’s chair, but not before noticing that someone was already sitting there: a large, muscled fellow, dressed in rather fancy military garb. “Ah, Commissar Cain!” McKimson greeted. “I trust you’re being accommodated well?”

 

"Ciaphas!" Amberley interjected, walking over to him. "It's been too long."

 

“Get out of my chair.” Daffy muttered under his breath, before he suddenly felt himself thrown off from Ciaphas getting up and embracing Amberley.

 

“I’ve missed you as well, Amberley. When I was told to accompany you on this…’mission’, I had no idea what to expect. Now, where is this new Captain I’ve been hearing about?”

 

“Right here…” Daffy said weakly, still trying to recover from the sudden impact of hitting the floor.

 

"He is...unusual." Amberley said, kissing Ciaphas' cheek. "In more ways than one."

 

“A lot like myself.” Ciaphas said. “It’s nice to meet you, Captain.”

 

“...Duck. Daffy Duck.” Immediately, Ciaphas burst out laughing. Hard. Amberley tried valiantly, but she couldn't resist joining him in laughter. “What? What’s so funny?” Daffy said bitterly. “It’s not like any of you have normal names, except McKimson over there.”

 

After composing herself, Amberley cleared her throat. "Apologies, Captain. Shall we disembark?" She asked, gesturing for him to sit in his chair.

 

“If you want. Me, I’m gonna go see if there’s a bathroom in this place. ..Where is it?”

 

“Down the hall, take a right. The lock is broken so knock.” McKimson informed. Daffy nodded and sped off.

 

“He’s unusual, isn’t he?” Ciaphas asked. “I like him already, though.”

 

Before Amberley could say a word, a scream echoed through the ship, followed by several laspistol shots. She winced. "Oh, dear. Rakel was using the bathroom." 

 

Daffy returned, his lower half blasted off and revealing the pink skin underneath his tail feathers, complete with tightey whiteys. “....I didn’t knock.” he admitted sheepishly.

 

"That was Rakel you just walked in on." Amberley said. "She's...a little insane."

 

“A little insane?” Ciaphas muttered. “That’s putting it lightly.”

 

Amberley turned to the bridge crew. "Prepare to disembark."

 

A few minutes later, they were in the air. Amberley turned to Ciaphas. "Commissar Cain, I think you and I have...important matters to discuss. Care to join me in my quarters?"

 

“Indeed.” Ciaphas said with a smirk. “A...debriefing, as it were.” And with that, the two of them disappeared from sight, leaving Daffy to finally be able to sit in his coveted captain’s chair.

 

Barely thirty seconds later, Rakel walked onto the bridge, glaring at Daffy and muttering, "Wretched bird."

 

“Look, I’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot, mmkay? How’s about we start over? Captain Daffy Sheldon Armando Horatio Tiberius Duck at your service, madame.”

 

Rakel looked at McKimson. "Can I pluck him?"

 

“Unfortunately not, Rakel. Sorry.” McKimson shrugged.

 

She frowned, before asking, "Do you have any chocolate? Riding the waves of other's minds is tiring."

 

“Chocolate? I think there’s some in the kitchens.” McKimson said, leading her away. With a sigh of relief, Daffy decided it was time for a nap.

 

Sometime later, Ciaphas and Amberley were doing some post-coital cuddling when the two of them heard soft mewling coming from between the bedsheets. Ciaphas pulled the blankets away to reveal a tiny black and white kitten. Chuckling, he scooped it up. “Oh, hello there little Pussyfoot. How did you get in here?”

 

“Mew!” the kitten responded happily.

 

"I didn't even know there were any cats aboard." Amberley said.

 

“She’s mine. Jenit Sulla gave her and her parents to me.” Ciaphas informed. “I tried telling her, ‘You know I have a pet already, and I certainly can’t give them to Amberley. The male cat will eat that little Tweety Bird of hers.’”

 

"In my spare time, I've taken to raising hawks." Amberley said. "But I can't do that aboard a ship, so this little bird will have to do." Ciaphas stared at the golden birdcage hanging above them, where the small yellow canary was happily swinging from his perch and humming. Amberley stretched, getting out of bed and putting on a robe.

 

"It's nice to be able to relax." She said, sitting in front of a mirror and beginning to brush her hair. "We don't get to do it often."

 

“We really don’t.” Ciaphas replied, slowly petting Pussyfoot and feeling the kitten purr in his hands. “I’m hoping we can stay out of the action for as long as possible with this assignment.”

 

Amberley nodded in agreement. "We should go make sure our new Captain hasn't gotten into any trouble." Ciaphas nodded, exiting the room and briefly making a detour to his own quarters, where he was rooming with his loyal right hand Fenrik Jurgen and his five pets - one dog (Marc Anthony) and three cats (Penelope, Sylvester, and their kittens Pussyfoot and Sylvester Jr.). Ciaphas walked in and gently put Pussyfoot on the floor, where she ran up to her mama joyfully. Marc Anthony, a large brown bulldog, almost tackled Ciaphas over in joy. Sylvester had been happily napping when he was woken by all the noise, irritably opening one eye and muttering, “Sufferin’ succatash, can’t a guy get his 40 winks around here?” (though no human could understand his speech). Slyvester Jr., a slightly older kitten and a spitting image of his father, was playing with a ball of yarn.

 

"Am I going to be babysitting them the whole time we're on this ship, Commissar?" Jurgen asked.

 

“We agreed to this earlier, Jurgen - yes.” Ciaphas answered. “Besides, they like you in spite of your odor...well, most of...wait, no. Only Pussyfoot likes you in spite of your odor.” Ciaphas stared at Sylvester. “Besides, I trust you to keep old Slyv here away from Amberley’s bird.” The tomcat ‘innocently’ looked at them; Ciaphas responded with his expression hardening.

 

Amberley walked in a moment later. "I have good news and bad news." She said. "The good news: The ship isn't on fire. The bad news: The Captain is nowhere to be found, and Rakel is walking around the ship with her laspistol, a knife, and a dangerous gleam in her eyes."

 

“Oh, Emperor dammit. Jurgen, come with me.” He then turned to Marc Anthony. “Keep watch, M.A..” The bulldog briefly saluted-yes, saluted-and sat, unmoving, by the doorway. Ciaphas followed Amberley, Jurgen not far behind. They found Rakel pacing around the kitchen, searching through drawers and cupboards. “Where is the Captain?” Ciaphas asked, using his ‘Commissar’ voice.

 

"Hiding." She said in reply. "I see him, but I don't know where he is. His mind is...cluttered. Full of thoughts. Wash over me like waves."

 

"Rakel." Amberley said gently. "Please, give me the knife."

 

Rakel did. The presence of Jurgen was making her twitchy. Amberley led her out of the room. 

 

"I know she is useful to the Inquisitor." Jurgen said. "But she's creepy."

 

“Some could say the same about you, Jurgen. No offense.”

 

Jurgen snorted and said, "None taken, Commissar."

 

Amberley, meanwhile, was searching for Daffy. She soon found him, in the Warp engine room, curled up on the ground and visibly shaking. His eyes were wide and bloodshot, and he was babbling nonsense, punctuated with an occasional ear-splitting “WOO-HOO, WOO-HOO, WOO-HOO!”

 

"Captain." She said. "It's me. You're safe."

 

“Tina…?” Daffy asked.

 

Amberley frowned. She had only thought in passing about how traumatizing this whole experience would be. "No." She said softly. "It's Amberley."

 

Daffy briefly snapped out of it. “A-Amberley? What’s going on? Where am I?”

 

"You're currently in the engine room. You were hiding from Rakel. Why did she attack you?"

 

“I was settling down for a nap in the captain’s chair. As I do, I see Rakel coming towards me...and then the rest is a blank.”

 

"Strange. Rakel is rarely violent. She can handle herself well in a fight, but it's unusual for her to try and murder someone unprovoked." Amberley replied.

 

“Any reason why she’d attack me like that? I mean, we got off on the wrong foot earlier, but still.”

 

"I will speak with her." Amberley said. "I'll be back in a few minutes. Stay here, and try to calm down a bit, alright?" 

 

She left, leaving Daffy alone. Well, almost alone. Yanbel, a tech priest in Amberley's retinue, was there as well, dutifully maintaining the Warp drive. The duck blinked and said, “Hey, cogboy. How’s it going?”

 

Yanbel sighed. "You've been hanging around McKimson, haven't you?"

 

“Yep.” Daffy said matter-of-factly.

 

The techpriest sighed again, returning to his work. “So, buddy, whaddya do around here?”

 

"I keep the Warp drive from failing." Yanbel said. "Among other things." Just as quickly as he’d asked, Daffy lost interest and began reading a porno slate he’d found on the ground. Amberley soon returned.

 

"Rakel said that she doesn't know why she went after you." She said. "Only that she felt a sudden burst of violent rage. She doesn't know the cause."

 

“Any reason I blacked out?”

 

"That is also a mystery."

 

“Hm. Got any psychiatrists?”

 

"Any what?"

 

“Shrinks. Head doctors.”

 

Amberley stared at him blankly. “...I need someone to talk to about my problems.” Daffy said, realizing that ‘psychiatry’ as a concept was long-dead.

 

"I see."

 

“Got anyone like that?”

 

"Me." She said.

 

“....Oh.” Daffy frowned slightly.

 

"Is that a problem?" She asked. "I have helped the people in my retinue work through their issues many times."

 

“...Let me be level with ya: I miss my friends. I didn’t ask to get frozen-well I did, but that isn’t the point, see. Point is, all my friends are dead.”

 

She nodded. "I thought as much. How long were you supposed to be asleep?"

 

Daffy tried to remember. “That,” he said, “Is gonna require me to go back to the very beginning.”

 

-------

 

To say that Daffy Duck was making a potentially stupid and/or dangerous decision for the sake of money was like saying water was wet. But this was probably the stupidest decision he was making, as far as Bugs Bunny was concerned. Daffy had recently gotten, in his emails, an offer to volunteer in a government cryogenics experiment - “Pays well,” the email read, “and provides beneficial research for humanity.”

 

“Sounds like a scam email. Or somethin’ containing malware. Or probably not what yer thinkin’, Daff.” Bugs said in his usual deadpan tone whenever he found out about Daffy’s latest moneymaking plan.

 

“Oh, phshaw. You wouldn’t know a new opportunity for cash if it bit you in the tail, rabbit.” Daffy said dismissively.

 

“Oh, really? Look, Daffy, all I’m sayin’ is to be careful, you might get more than ya bargained for.”

 

“Whatever you say! I’m gonna be rich, RICH I TELL YA!”

 

Not long afterwards, Daffy entered the building that the email said to arrive at. It was white-blinding white, actually-and sterile. Like a hospital. The doctor who’d met Daffy at the front office was fat, dressed in a labcoat with bright yellow latex gloves, with a mop of curly red hair. “Mr. Duck, this is Dr. IQ High. He’ll be overseeing you for this experiment.” his assistant informed. Daffy stared at the doctor before cracking his knuckles.

 

“Alrighty there, doc.” Daffy chuckled a bit; he was starting to sound more and more like Bugs every day. “Just tell me what I gotta do.” Probably just some blood tests or something, Daffy thought. “How long’s this gonna take? I have a meatball sub and fries waiting for me at Pizzariba.”

 

Dr. High chuckled. "I am afraid your food might be cold by the time the experiment is finished." He said. "Not too long, though, my feathered friend. Only a few hours. This experiment is simply a test to make sure my machine works."

 

Daffy blinked. “Y-your machine?”

 

"A state-of-the-art cryogenics pod, created for the purpose of putting whoever is inside into a state of suspended animation. In other words, it is meant to put them into a deep sleep, while also preventing them from aging."

 

Daffy looked at the pod - a stainless steel cylinder, chrome in coloration, a small glass door covering the majority of it. After running a few tests, IQ High’s assistant led him to the pod, where the door swung open. Daffy took a deep breath and entered, watching the door close and feeling the temperature from within drop quickly to below zero levels.

 

What was supposed to be a few hours turned into days, then months, then years, then centuries, and finally eons. When Daffy was finally released, the facility, hell, Warnerville itself, no longer existed, now it was but a single piece in the ever expanding hives of Holy Terra.

 

-----

 

By the time Daffy was finished, his voice was barely above a whisper. “...You wanna know something? This is the only thing I have left from all that time.” He retrieved a sheet of paper, apparently a letter, and gave it to Amberley. Evidently, Daffy had nothing nice to say about any of his neighbors; it was full of grievances both real and possibly imagined. Except, however, for the last paragraph: “I know I've said a lot of terrible things about a lot of terrible people. But I've saved the terrible-ist for my girlfriend Tina. I've known many deranged people in my life, but I've never encountered the kind of profound mental instability that she possesses. Tina Russo is a psychopath. She may have everyone else fooled, but I know the truth. Why else would the kindest, most beautiful, generous and intelligent woman in the world...go out with someone like me?"

 

"I'm sorry." Amberley whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder. Daffy turned to her, tears in his eyes.

 

“You barely know me. Why are you sorry?”

 

"I've lost people. People who were dear to me." Amberley said. "I've lost my home, too. I know your pain." Daffy pondered this for a few minutes, unsure of what to say. Finally, he placed a hand on Amberley’s shoulder in return.

 

“You know, I think we’re gonna be great friends already.”

 

“Me, too.” Amberley said, right before an alarm began blaring. She rushed up to the bridge, looking out one of the windows to see what was going on. Her eyes widened.

 

“By the Emperor…” She whispered. They were surrounded by a mass of ships, all of which almost looked...alive. “Tyranids…”

 

“Who the what now?” Daffy asked, bemused.

 

“Are the cloaking shields engaged?” Amberley asked aloud to the crew. She sounded terrified. "If that Hive Fleet detects us, we're dead."

 

“Yes, Inquisitor!” several Guardsmen confirmed.

 

"Tyranids are often referred to as 'the Great Devourer.'" Amberley said to Daffy. "They are hunger incarnate. Every world they encounter, they strip bare, leaving behind a lifeless rock. Their endless desire to feast is the only thing that motivates them, so there is no negotiation."

 

“What’re we gonna do!?” Daffy asked, absolutely terrified.

 

"Try to avoid being noticed." Amberley said. "If our cloaking shields hold, they shouldn't find us."

 

“.....You know, you shouldn’t say things like that. Bad things…” Daffy began, but was interrupted by sound of the shields falling. “...tend to happen after.” he finished, pupils shrunken and voice squeaking from terror.

 

"Oh, fuck." Amberley whispered, as several Tyranid ships changed course, heading towards them. Daffy proceeded to scream like a little girl and run. Amberley took the helm, and began trying to evade the Tyranids. She turned on the intercom. 

 

"Guardsmen, Sisters of Battle, to your battlestations." She said. In the ship's medbay, a Sister of the Orders Hospitaller, named Lucia, rose from her place by one of the windows, grabbing her personal bolter rifle and chain sword and heading for the door. Celeste, a fellow Sister, joined her.

 

"Tyranids. That means acid burns." Lucia said. "Things will get messy. Are you ready?"

 

“Ready as I’ll ever be. For glory and the Emperor and all that, yes?”

 

Lucia chuckled. "Indeed." And so, screaming the Emperor’s praises, the two of them charged into battle. Dozens of Tyranids poured into the vessel from the points where it had been snagged by the Hive ships. Amberley handed control of the ship over to one of the pilots before rushing to her quarters to don her armor. That left poor Daffy cowering behind a hastily made barricade of chairs and shelves. As he lay there trembling and muttering prayers to Elohim for a quick and hopefully merciful death, Daffy could see something creeping forward. It was big. Very big, and multilimbed, judging from the shadow it gave off.

 

This creature soon came into the light. It was massive, with a white and black carapace, towering over even the tallest of Guardsmen. It had four long, muscled arms, ending in clawed, bony hands, each of which held a sword. Its head, topped with a long, red crest, had jet-black eyes and a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth. This creature was known by many names: the Tyrantlord of the Hive Mind, the Herald of the Great Devourer and the Destroyer of the Kha'la Empire. To mankind, it was the Swarmlord, and anyone who saw it felt terror unlike anything they had ever felt before.

 

And now Daffy was alone with it. The duck, who had just moments ago been praying for his life, looked at the Swarmlord, his brain racing to find a solution. “L-listen, buddy, you don’t have to eat me, ya know.” he said, voice trembling even more than before. “I-I-I don’t have much meat on me anyway.” As if to demonstrate, Daffy ‘unzipped’ his feathers to reveal the same pink body underneath from earlier, only now horribly emaciated. “See? Now if you and all your little bug-friends just leave me and my crew in peace, we won’t have any trouble...c-c-c-c-c-capiche?”

 

The Swarmlord began approaching, before being intercepted by two Guardsmen. Their shots glanced off the creature's armor, before two of the swords it held flashed through the air, and their heads slid off and rolled across the floor. Daffy stared, slack-jawed; thinking quickly as the Swarmlord got closer, its mandibles drooling acid and burning small holes into the floor, he drew a large wooden mallet, about the size of his foe, and swung with all of his strength. The Swarmlord staggered, more out of surprise than pain. Before it could recover fully, Amberley, dressed in gleaming armor, entered, a whirring chainsword in hand. “Boy, oh boy, am I glad to see you!” Daffy said between hyperventilating gasps. “Now let’s skeedaddle before that thing kills us!” Taking a nearby laspistol for himself, Daffy bolted for the door. Amberley put on a helmet, shut the door, and contacted Yanbel, ordering him to open the airlock on the bridge. 

 

"Inquisitor, you'll be pulled out, too!"

 

"I know, Yanbel. But the Swarmlord is here."

 

"The Swarmlord?! By the Omnissiah...fine, as you command, Inquisitor."

 

The airlock opened, and both Amberley and the Swarmlord were pulled out into space. “NOOOOOOO!” Daffy screamed as he pounded on the door. “YOU CAN’T DO THIS, AMBERLEY! I’VE ONLY KNOWN YOU FOR BARELY A DAY, YET I FEEL LIKE I’VE KNOWN YOU FOR LONGER THAN THAT!” Silence was his only response.

 

The Tyranids continued to rush onto the ship, the defenders slaying dozens upon dozens of them, to the point that a barricade began to form out of the dead. Lucia moved among the Guardsmen and Sisters, treating wounds the best she could. She and Celeste found Daffy crying, laspistol still gripped tightly in his right hand. “We need to go.” Celeste urged him. “It isn’t safe for you here.”

 

“B-but Amberley…”

 

“Inquisitor Vail has faced worse things.” Celeste said bluntly. “Besides, you are not the only one saddened by her loss.”

 

"She always has a plan." Lucia added. "Come on. You'll be no help to her if you're dead." Daffy followed them reluctantly, keeping close to them (and his laspistol close to him). A few minutes later, a faint voice came over the comms of the ship's defenders. "Hello? Can anyone hear me?"

 

“Amberley?” Daffy spoke up hopefully. “That you!?”

 

"Yes." She replied. "I'm injured, but alive."

 

“Praise the Lord, Hallelujah! Where are you?” Daffy asked.

 

"Hanging off of one of the Tyranid hooks."

 

“Stay put. I’m gonna try and get you out of there.”

 

“You’re an idiot.” Celeste snarked. “You’re going to get yourself killed out there, and for what?”

 

“I’ll tell ya what -” Daffy spat back. “Amberley saved my life from that Swarmlord or whatever you call it. I owe it to her to save hers, and as Captain of this ship, I order you to stand down.”

 

“On whose authority?” Celeste replied, hands on her hips. “You have none, duck.”

 

“Actually,” a nearby voice, that of one Ciaphas Cain, said. “As a Rogue Trader, his authority is outside of the Imperium’s. So he can order you to stand down. And I say he should go.”

 

“Thanks.” Daffy said, before Amberley interrupted them.

 

"While you idiots were arguing, I managed to get over to one of the airlocks. Care to let me in?"

 

“Stealin’ my thunder….I was wanting an awesome action hero moment….” Daffy grumbled.

 

“This is no holodrama, duck.” Ciaphas informed him. “Talking is not a free action, and the world will not give you leeway so you can stage a big rescue. Now, where are your coordinates, Amberley?”

 

"Right behind you." She said, thumping her fist on the airlock in question.

 

“Oh.” Ciaphas said sheepishly, then turned to Daffy. “Get that for her, will you?” Daffy nodded, and after a bit of difficulty, managed to open the airlock. Amberley stumbled in, her armor covered in blood. Daffy and Ciaphas let out impressed whistles. She took a few more steps before falling to her knees, grunting. 

 

Celeste caught her, and said, “You need rest, Inquisitor.”

 

“B-but the Tyranids….” Ciaphas sputtered.

 

"They're no longer a problem." Amberley said. "I broke the hooks myself. Tell the bridge crew to...initiate a Warp jump."

 

“A who-what now?” Daffy asked.

 

"You'll see." She replied, leaning on Celeste as they walked to her quarters. Immediately, Daffy felt himself lurch backward, slamming into a wall; he then proceeded to vibrate and spasm, letting out several inhuman noises (a rooster’s crow, the sound of a horn) as his body briefly mutated into several forms - a flower-headed creature with a flag reading “SCREWBALL” in rebus, a photorealistic duck, a smaller, ‘cuter’ form, and then back to his regular form. Ciaphas and Lucia watched in horror, all the while Daffy was hollering and hooting like a madman. Purple sparks of what most might call electricity (but what those in the Imperium might call Warp energy) coursed through him. Ciaphas rashly shot him in an irrational panic, which only seemed to cause Daffy’s beak to turn around to the back of his head rather than kill him. When the Warp jump ceased, Daffy came out of his episode rather groggy, tiredly putting his beak back in place, he stared at the Commissar and Sister of Battle.

 

“....What? Do I have something on me?”

Spoiler

First appearances: Daffy Duck (main character), Amberley Vail (main), Ciaphas Cain (main), Lucia (supporting), Celeste (supporting), Yanbel (supporting), Fenrik Jurgen (supporting), Guardsman McKimson (supporting), Rakel (supporting), Jennit Sulla (mentioned) Tweety (recurring), Sylvester (recurring), Marc Anthony (recurring), Penelope Pussycat (recurring), Pussyfoot (recurring), Sylvester Jr. (recurring), Tyranids (antagonists), The Swarmlord (antagonist), Marvin and Tyr'hanee (antagonists, not named)

In this continuity, Marc Anthony, Sylvester (Sr. and Jr.), Penelope Pussycat, and Pussyfoot are all Ciaphas Cain's pets; Tweety is also Amberley's pet, and Sylvester is Penelope's mate and father to Pussyfoot and Sylvester Jr.

-"The Looney Tunes Show" is canon, and Daffy is frozen in 2014 (the year the show ended). Dr. IQ High is also the one who froze Daffy rather than discovering him.

-While it's never said why Daffy was chosen for the experiment, it's implied that due to his service as a Marine (see "Semper Lie"), he was selected due to his actions in rescuing prisoners of war)

-Daffy's home city is given a name: Warnerville.

-Martians are canon to this universe, but are a species beneath the Imperium's notice; Marvin and Tyr'hanee are currently onboard posing as menial labor on The Emperor's Eye.

 

[Prez's Shitty Art]

You're getting better.

[Create the Next SBC Event!]

Event name: Anime August

Theme: Anime

Skin themes: Giant robots, magical girls, ninjas

[Ask Jeeves]

Doing good. Been thinking about doing some historical fiction as my first serious original project.

How ya liking this new forum design?

[Ask Jeeves]

Ayyyy, what up my dude?

[Favorite Nicktoons Shows that Debuted 1999-2002?]

Invader Zim, no question. It was basically Rick and Morty for kids.

[Ask Rebel the Wolfgirl]

6 hours ago, Fox McCloud said:

What's the one thing you want to do the most when this whole Corona Virus ordeal is over?

Visit my girlfriend.

[Quiz The Konquest]

Hey, Local! What's new, my British dude?

[George Floyd Protests]

Trigger warnings:

Spoiler

Race-based violence, police brutality

I want to start off by saying that I was very hesitant to create a thread like this, since the last time I took part in a discussion on here about pro-antiracism protests, I expressed very regrettable alt-right viewpoints.

That was several years ago. Now that I have opened my eyes to the fact that I am a left-wing libertarian, I want to take a moment to apologize for my earlier views that ultimately got the Charlottesville thread trashed the way it did.

Now that I have gotten that elephant in the room out of the way, let's discuss a man named George Floyd. Several days , while shopping and attempting to cash a check, Mr. Floyd was restrained by several police officers and his throat essentially crushed by the ringleader Derek Chauvin.

Suffice to say, this has had a far bigger impact in the past several days than anyone could have realized; this specific incident, more than any other, has been the straw that broke the camel's back in regards to police brutality. This has grown from an issue specifically regarding the Black Lives Matter movement into an issue that has affected Americans from all walks of life. We, as a nation, are tired of a frankly corrupt system that is slanted not only towards a majority population of middle and upper class whites, but rewards rather than punishes intolerance and forces those officers who would otherwise speak up into silence. It's time for a change, and it's exactly what we're trying to get.

So, let's discuss.

[Opinions on Marijuana?]

Yes. I am a casual user of marijuana (it helps loosen my muscles; they tighten constantly from my mild cerebral palsy), though I don't smoke as often as I would like to. In fact, I have a very negative opinion of the War on Drugs in general - if anything, it's probably more responsible for addiction (especially regarding hard drugs like cocaine and heroin) than it has dispelling and preventing it. Decriminalization of drugs is the only logical solution.

[Trump Vs. The World?: The 2020 Election Thread]

Since I registered for the Libertarian Party a year or two back, I was hoping that Vermin Supreme would win the nomination (but realistically, I knew he wouldn't). So now I'm endorsing Jo Jorgensen.

[Bungee Jump]

Might as well jump. *synth riff*

[The Daily Spin]

Hey, Mr. Buttercup, spin the wheel and try your luck!