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Squidward Tentacles
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Posts posted by Squidward Tentacles
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Meh...look people, it wasn't me.
SpongeBob might annoy me, but I'm not petty enough to steal his award. Also, the information topic clearly states it was someone who spoke to him after his speech. I didn't speak to him at all after his speech, so it can't be me. I just sat down near the stage and read my magazine the whole time, barely looking around at what was going on. But whatever, ask me what you will.
Personally, I think it was Krabs.
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22 hours ago, NegiSantie said:
Who'd you give your present to?
I didn't give any presents. Squilliam was the only one who gave out any, and I'm pretty sure he got the clarinet I was supposed to get by mistake.
7 hours ago, Charlie Manson said:Do you know what the drink spiker looked or sounded like?
Were anyone else at the party using their phones at one moment?
No clue.
Yes, Perch was using his to report about the party on his Twitter.
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On 12/22/2017 at 12:34 AM, NegiSantie said:
If you knew it was spiked, then you must know who spiked it, right?
I can't say for sure, I just know spiked drinks when I see 'em. I was young once too.
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On 12/19/2017 at 8:46 PM, SnOWMan said:
Is there anyone you suspect that could have done it?
Did you drink the egg nog? Did you remember what happened or what everyone else did after they drank it?
What kinds of food did you eat at the party? A cucumber sandwich, maybe?
Or Squilliam's ass?Who did you see Squilliam welcome? Did he welcome you?
I think it's SpongeBob who did it.
That attention hog.
I knew it was spiked. I like drinking to avoid SpongeBob. And no, I don't remember anything after that.
I had a cucumber sandwich but I'm not sure how that's related to anything.
Squilliam personally welcomed everybody. If you're trying to find the culprit, it wasn't me.
On 12/20/2017 at 1:22 AM, HayBellsJinglin said:Would you mind if we look at your phone wallpaper, or you could just describe what is displayed in it?
Sure.
On 12/20/2017 at 9:38 PM, NegiSantie said:Who do you think might have done it?
SpongeBob. He wants attention.
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*sigh* Here we go again. I am tired of these investigations. First it was at the Krusty Krab, and now this stupid party... I only went because I might get discovered for my musical talent there.
Anyways, I may hate the little guy, but I did not do it.
I don't even have the picture in question, though it is my phone wallpaper now. Heh. Heh.
I left my present in a sensible place. It was a unibrow comb, so I guess whoever messages first with the comb gets a hint..... if anyone even cares enough. I don't. I gave the present to someone who could use it.
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4 minutes ago, PhantOWM said:
Did you stop dancing at any point? Like when the lights went out, or to take a break,
or to suck Squilliam's big fat juicy cock?Yes, yes, and..... he sucked mine in high school.
2 minutes ago, Pharmacist Army said:Squidward, who do you think has been lying the most?
Mrs. Puff.
I want to go home now.
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1 minute ago, Pharmacist Army said:
By who?
The sirens! The closure! The moronic ways known only at the horrors of the Krusty Krab!
I really need a new job.
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Just now, Harleni Quinn said:
Mr. Krabs said he DIDN'T get the chance to interact with you, nor did he ask about your dance moves. Care to explain?
He was interrupted mid-sentence.
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17 minutes ago, Harleni Quinn said:
Was Squilliam nearby when Krabs was talking to you?
Yes.
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26 minutes ago, PhantOWM said:
What do you mean by "interact?" Did he give any orders?
He was just talking to me about what I was up to after my marvelous dance, nothing important.
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1 minute ago, I Am Jethro said:
Did Mr. Krabs interact with you when the lights went off?
Why yes, yes he did.
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On 10/21/2017 at 7:22 PM, I Am Jethro said:
Who were you trying to spend time with?
Were you trying to impress someone with your dance moves?
uh nobody
On 10/21/2017 at 10:40 PM, Dracula Phineas said:What if YOU WERE BEHIND THIS?!
Oh puh-leez. As if I cared enough about that SLOP to do such a thing.
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1 minute ago, Harleni Quinn said:
When did you notice the bathroom door open? Before or after the patties went missing?
Did you notice Mrs. Puff acting strange at all? Did you hear her scream?
The bathroom door opened while it was dark, so I guess before the patties went missing...... like I care.
Mrs. Puff didn't look suspicious, and she didn't scream. But I know Krabs and he's a scum lovebird.
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Just now, PhantOWM said:
Why do you think it's Mrs. Puff?
Many have said they heard doors opening or closing. Did you?
Isn't Squilliam a hot piece of ass?
Isn't it obvious? Krabs is so much in love with Mrs. Puff that he spills the beans on everything to her. I'm sure she even knows the formula and security codes. I could be wrong though. I didn't see her get up from her table. It wasn't SpongeBob for sure - he was just screaming the entire time.
I heard the bathroom door open. I don't see how that helps at all.
Spoiler
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1 minute ago, Pharmacist Army said:
Do you have any info on the screaming noise?
I heard SpongeBob screaming incessantly, as always. He's such a crybaby. He almost distracted me from spending time wi----- never mind.
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Just now, PhantOWM said:
I know you were focusing on Squilliam. He was watching you.
What did you see him do when the lights went out? Did he happen to run for a door?
Oh puh-leez. Squilliam is a moron.
Yeah, he ran to the front door like the coward that he is. He couldn't get out because of Krabs' idiotic and completely unnecessary security system.
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Who actually cares if the krabby patties went missing?! It's slop. Whatever. I'm not being paid to answer, so no thanks. I don't care enough to steal the patties. Mrs. Puff did it. Can I go home now?
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Why not Squidward's Mansion?
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Oh, what a wonderful day it is in Bikini Bottom! The clams are chirping, the Sponge is nowhere to be found, and I have an entire day ahead of me alone with my clarinet! Life is good, life is good!
*SBC DOES NOT CONDONE SQUID ABUSE SO SQUIDWARD'S FOLLOWING MISFORTUNES WITH SPONGEBOB AND PATRICK HAVE BEEN REMOVED FROM THIS ANNOUNCEMENT. THANK YOU.*
Well my day has gone from bad to worse... I have the worst neighbors on the planet!
Why am I here again?
nuggets: you're here against your will
Right. As those lowly SBC administrators have informed me, I'm... voluntarily... here to share with you a cryptic message involving something new coming from the
SquidwardSpongeBob Community. I haven't even begun to study it, but I'm sure as soon as I do, I will have it immediately solved!
SpongeBob definitely can't solve this... can you?
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Mediocre?
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Who ever is me shall go to the firey pits of hell.
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Why wasn't I nominated for anything? Clearly this dump knows nothing of talent.
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Squidward's Anecdote
in Krabby Land
Posted
He was creeping around me whenever I looked up with his fishing rod, but then he eventually left. Who knows what he did from there.
He was annoying me with some music he was blasting the night before when I wanted some peace and quiet.
Say what you shall, but I have nothing to gain from stealing the twerp's trophy. I wouldn't go that low.
Meh. It was more entertaining than whatever nonsense happened at the convention. I don't care about jellyfishing, so it was easier for me to be invested in the magazine.