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    The Red Sea

    in Davy Jones' Locker

    Posted

    NOTE: If you ever see POV: [sBC Member], this means that part of the story will be narrated by that person.

     

    THE RED SEA

     

    Season One:

    1. Kill or Be Killed

     

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

     

    POV: SSJ

     

    When I opened my eyes after what seemed like forever, all I saw was the bright blue sky above me, with a severe lack of any white. Was this the sky? I could hear the sounds of waves all around me. Was this the ocean? Was I drowning? I felt the sensation of breathing, but I-

     

    WUMBO: [Voice.] Uhh... Hello? Are you alright?

    I looked up to see a blonde teenager, or someone who had the appearance of one.

    SSJ: Who the hell are you?

    WUMBO: [Parrying.] Who the hell are you?

    SSJ: [shooting back.] Hey, I asked you first! I won't answer your question until you answer mine!

    WUMBO: [sighing.] Fine. I’m Eric.

    SSJ: [Repeating, without thinking.] Eric... [Considering.] Eric... Where do I know that name?

    WUMBO: I mean, it’s a common name.

    SSJ: No, I mean you look like someone I know.

    WUMBO: Well, that’s great and all, but I still-

    SSJ: Are you Wumbo?

    WUMBO: [Dumbfounded.] Uh... Yes, actually. I... [A bit excited.] I didn’t know you were a member.

    SSJ: [Pleasantly surprised.] Well, I didn’t exactly know that you were either, I just guessed.

    WUMBO: Well, that was a scary good guess. [Remembering.] By the way, you never answered my question.

    SSJ: [Realizing.] Oh, yes! My apologies. I’m ssj.

    WUMBO: [Gasping.] Ssj? Really? Gee, it’s nice to finally meet you!

    SSJ: Yeah, I would say the same, but I'd rather like to know where the hell we are?

     

    And then, for the first time, the two of us looked around at our surroundings. Interestingly enough, I heard waves because I woke up right next to the water. I looked behind Wumbo to see many tropical trees that seemed to span the entire horizon. On either side of me I saw nothing but the shore adjacent to the waves and the trees.

     

    WUMBO: [Matter-of-factly.] Well, it seems we are on an island.

    SSJ: Well, yes, I can see that.

    WUMBO: [Defensively.]Hey, I was just answering your question!

    SSJ: [ignoring him.] How the hell did we get here, though?

    WUMBO: I thought you would know!

    SSJ: [Defeated.] Well, I don’t.

     

    Wumbo then spotted something on the ground next to me.

     

    WUMBO: Hey, what’s that?

     

    It was a message in the sand, far enough from the waves to stay intact. It read, “KILL OR BE KILLED”. Wumbo wrote it, I bet. He was trying to play with my mind, wasn't he?

     

    SSJ: [Not looking at him, severely angered.] You bastard.

    WUMBO: [Genuinely confused.] What?

    SSJ: Is this some kind of a sick joke?!

    WUMBO: What?!

    SSJ: [Facing him, glaring daggers.] You’re trying to kill me!

    WUMBO: Dude, what the fuck are you talking about?!

    SSJ: [screaming.] You bastard!!!

    WUMBO: [Realizing what he means.] You think that I wrote that? Are you serious?!

    SSJ: Who else?!

    WUMBO: It could have easily been someone else!

    SSJ: Name one other fucking person on this island!!!

    WUMBO: There MIGHT be someone else! I don’t know! It wasn’t me! I swear!

    SSJ: Swear a little harder, Eric!!!

    WUMBO: Why would I want to kill you?!

     

    I felt something moving around in my jeans pocket, so I reached inside and pulled out what seemed to be a switchblade. Flipping it open, I could see that it had never been used, as if it were just bought. I could clearly see a sliver of my reflection.

     

    SSJ; What the...?

    WUMBO: [Getting scared and angry.] Oh my god.

    SSJ: Is this mine?

    WUMBO: [Enraged.] You’re trying to kill me.

    SSJ: [Equally enraged.] What?! Are you serious?!?!

    WUMBO: You tried to pin this whole thing on me so you could stab me in the back!
    SSJ:     No, I wasn’t! I had no idea that I had this damn thing!!!

    WUMBO: [Extrememly sarcastic, taunting.] I must say, you are quite the actor, ssj! You had me convinced you were just any other person, until you whipped that out!

    SSJ: I’m not acting at all, you dumbass!!!

    WUMBO: Don’t go calling me a dumbass, you little shit!

     

    He reached into his pocket and pulled out another switchblade, just as new.

     

    SSJ: I knew it!

    WUMBO: [Dropping the blade, shocked.] What the fuck?!

    SSJ: You are trying to kill me!

    WUMBO: [Freaked out.] What do you mean?!

    SSJ: You knew that you had that switchblade! And I didn’t! Therefore, it is you that is trying to kill me! I was right all along!

    WUMBO: I didn’t know, I-!!!

    SSJ: How come you pulled it out so quickly, huh?!

    WUMBO: It was a reflex! I-

    SSJ: [sarcastically.] Oh! So you’ve killed before, have you!

    WUMBO: [Extremely pissed off.] Look, dickhead, I’m just as confused as you, eh?

     

    But I wasn’t going to take anymore of his shit. I was afraid for my life. I wasn’t going to let some SBC kid from Canada kill me on some island. I had to act fast. Besides, he was a major asshole. I looked at my blade and remembered what the paper said. KILL OR BE KILLED.

     

    I jumped at him with a strange intensity that I didn’t know I invested, my blade careening towards his throat.

     

    SSJ: [screaming.] DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    WUMBO: What the hell?!

     

    He quickly sidestepped as I began to fall face first into the sand. However, upon impact, I did a somersault and quickly turned around just as Wumbo began to charge at me. Without thinking, I swept my legs into his and he fell to the ground. I quickly scrambled over and straddled him, my knees pinning his arms to the ground, his legs kicking about. I began to punch him over and over again in the face.

     

    SSJ: I’m not dying today, fuckface!

    WUMBO: Cut it out!!!

     

    He spit directly in my face. Since I was distracted, he found the perfect moment to roll over and pin me instead, except his left knee missed my right hand, where my blade was. Before I could stop myself, I sent my blade into my foe’s abdomen.

     

    His shirt began to puddle with wet, gushing blood. He began to gasp for breath, clutching at his wound and dropping his blade.

     

    I tossed him off of me, and he fell to the sand limply like a rag doll. Without taking another look at him, I ran for the trees, psyched out of my mind.

     

    SSJ: [Thinking.] Oh my god. I just killed someone.

     

    And I wondered if it were something I had done before.

     

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

     

    POV: SOMEONE

     

    It had been nearly an hour, and I still wasn't free of my cocoon. The branch on my back began to chafe at my spine, and I was tired of the ominous, deadly view below. The ropes that bound me to the branch restricted all of my movement, so I had no hope of escaping. The only chance I had to get down was to wait for the branch to break, but I was so high above the ground that I really didn’t want that to happen. It only goes down from here, I thought darkly. So I looked around for other means of escape, but there didn’t seem to be very many options.

     

    A figure below me darted quickly among the trees. I realized that this was my only hope of getting free. I decided that I had to get its attention.

     

    SOMEONE: Hey!!! Up here!!!

     

    The figure stopped dead in its tracks. Thanks to the Real-Life Images thread on SBC, I could tell that the figure’s face was familiar.

     

    NUGGETS: [Recognizing her.] Oh my god!

    SOMEONE: Could you get me down from here?!

    NUGGETS: [scared, knowing there was no way out of the situation.] Sure! I’ll be right up!

     

    Up the tree he quickly shimmied, and once he got to my branch, he began to crawl across. As the ground slowly seemed to get closer to me and the branch on my back creaked and groaned, I decided to warn him;

     

    SOMEONE: This branch might not be able to support the weight of the two of us!

    NUGGETS: Well, if you want to be free, you’ll just have to trust me!

     

    So I decided that I would. When he made it to where I was tied up, I felt gravity pulling me ferociously toward the earth, and I wondered if I would make it out of this alive. He took out a dagger-looking object and began to cut away at the ropes. As the ropes were cut, one by one, I felt a part of my body come free, pointing toward the ground. I realized that if he cut all of the ropes free, I would go plummeting to the earth.

     

    I was going to die at the hands of a stranger.

     

    SOMEONE: Wait a minute! Don’t cut all of the-

     

    As the last rope snap, I was gravity’s bitch. The good news was, it was for only half a second. Nugget’s hand shot out and grabbed mine, and I dangled over my doom.

     

    NUGGET: I’ve got you. I told you to trust me.

    SOMEONE: [Frightened.] Well, okay, you were right. Whatever, that doesn’t really matter right now! Pull me up! Pull me up!

     

    And he did. If only that fucking branch didn’t break as soon as safety was almost guaranteed. As we fell, I finally read the inscription in the branch:

     

    KILL OR BE KILLED

     

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

     

    POV: ELASTIC

     

    My stomach was a fucking empty pit. Never had I gone without eating for so long. I’m a teenager. I constantly eat. It’s just part of my adolescent nature.

     

    My new blade in hand, I crouched from within my bush (like the actual bush, not my pubes), scanning the strange forest, hoping to find a meal. Hell, I was so hungry that I would eat raw meat. Fuck salmonella. I didn’t give a shit. I was hungry.

     

    Just then, it seemed that my prayer was answered. A shadow darted in front of me and I pounced like the jungle creature I never knew I was. It turned out to be a creature that was similar to my size. It almost seemed human. That is, until I realized that it was human. In fact, it was a human. And a human I knew very well, at that.

     

    DRAGIIIN: [Flipping out.] Elastic?! What the fuck?!

    ELASTIC: [Doing the same, getting off of him.] Dragiiin?! What the fuck are YOU doing here?

    DRAGIIIN: I was about to ask the same thing!

    ELASTIC: [Helping him to his feet.] Where are we?!

    DRAGIIIN: There’s no God, I knew it!

    ELASTIC: Is there ANY civilization nearby?

    DRAGIIIN: [Ranting.] Those fucking religious daisy-chainers were wrong! Satan is our God, now! He wants us to dance, puppet boy, dance!

    ELASTIC: [ignoring him.] We have to get out of here!

    DRAGIIIN: Yeah I know! But why are you in such a damn hurry?

    ELASTIC: Um, hello?! [Pointing to a tree with “KILL OR BE KILLED” scratched on to it.] Have you read the news lately?

    DRAGIIIN: [Jumping.] What the fuck?!

    ELASTIC: [Dumbfounded.] Really?! You didn’t see this?

    DRAGIIIN: [in a small voice.] sketchy as fuck mang

    ELASTIC: They are literally all over this goddamn island! How could you miss it?!

    DRAGIIIN: You know that I don’t pay attention to anything!

    ELASTIC: [Thinking about it.] Yeah, that’s true. That is true.

    DRAGIIIN: Well, you suggested that we get the hell out of here, and that doesn’t sound like such a bad idea, so yeah, I’ll take up your offer.

     

    Dragiiin then bolted off to the left, leaving me behind. Who knew I could become a pussy so quickly.

     

    ELASTIC: [scared shitless.] Dragiiin!!! WAIT UP!!!!!

     

    I lit out after him, hoping that there would be an end to this seemingly-endless maze of vegetation.

     

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

     

    POV: SAUCE MAMA

     

    There I was, in the middle of nowhere, walking down an island’s shore with my beloved Momo trailing gallantly behind me. The sun beat down on us, drenching us in sweat and sunburns. We trudged ever-so-slowly, barely lifting our feet as if they were magnetically connected to the burning sand.

     

    SAUCE: Momo, this is some freaky stuff, man.

    MOMO: [Exhausted.] I hear that.

    SAUCE: [Optimistic.] But you do have to admit, this is a lovely sight, don’t you think?

    MOMO: I would agree with you on that, if only it weren’t as hot as balls.

    SAUCE: [Gasping.] Momo! Watch your mouth!

    MOMO: Sorry, Sauce Mama.

    SAUCE: [Nuturing.] It’s alright, smoogums. I’ll blame it on the heat.

    MOMO: [Wheezing and coughing.] I’m so dehydrated. I’m tempted to just drink that ocean water.

    SAUCE: Momo! Do you know how many aquatic creatures do their business in those waters?

    MOMO: I would rather drink sea creature excrements than die of a heat stroke, to be honest.

    SAUCE: Don’t worry, Momo, we’ll find water eventually. Just hang in there.

    MOMO: [Caving in.] Alright, Mama. Since you promised.

    SAUCE: [Proudly.] That’s my Momo.

     

    We walked on in silence, looking around for any signs of civilization, when Momo asked;

     

    MOMO: Sauce, do you really think we will be killed?

    SAUCE: What’s that, Momo?

    MOMO: It’s just that, well, it’s written everywhere.

    SAUCE: Oh, that. [Laughing weakly.] That’s nothing, Momo.

    MOMO: [Concerned.] How can you be so sure?
    SAUCE: I think that’s just to scare people off. Who knows? There may be some sort of native tribe here that may be a very friendly people but just have social issues.

    MOMO: Yeah, that or someone is trying to kill us.

    SAUCE: [Exhausted.] You are quite the Debbie Downer, Momo.

    MOMO: I’m a realist, Mama.

     

    Just then, a figure appeared in the horizon, one that appeared to be growing bigger. It turned out to be a strange man charging at us with a blade.

     

    OMJ: I WON’T BE KILLED!!!

     

    I quickly flung myself out of the way, but Momo was too late. The blade had grazed his arm, and out fell stuffing.

     

    MOMO: [Crying.] Mama! He hurt me!

     

    Suddenly, I switched into my protective mode. No one hurts my baby. No one. Gone was my exhaustion and thirst. There was only one goal, and that was to avenge Momo.

     

    The strange man turned around, but didn’t react quickly enough to my jab to his face. It really hurt, but I didn’t care. He fell to the ground and I put my foot on his chest so he wouldn’t be able to escape.

     

    SAUCE: What’s your prob, Bob?

    OMJ: [scared of Sauce.] My name isn’t Bob!

    SAUCE: Whatever! Why did you hurt Momo!

    OMJ: [Remembering the name.] Wait, Momo?

    SAUCE: Yes! That’s his name? What, are you going to make fun of it? Kick him while he’s down?

    OMJ: No! I remember that name!

    SAUCE: [surprised and confused.] You do?

    OMJ: Yes! Was that Momo?

    SAUCE: [Angry again.] Yes, and you nearly took his arm off, you blockhead!

    OMJ: [Delighted.] You’re Sauce, aren't you?

    SAUCE: [surprised again.] How did you know?!

    OMJ: It’s me! OMJ!

    SAUCE: [Taking her foot off.] OMJ?! Oh my goodness!

    OMJ: I had no idea that Momo was an animate being!

    SAUCE: Of course he is! Why wouldn’t he be!

    OMJ: I didn’t really get a good look at him! I thought he was a monster!

    SAUCE: Well, since you were the one to nick his arm, you can be the one to sew it back up!

    OMJ: [Whining.] But Saaaaaaaauce!

    SAUCE: I SAID SO, OMJ!

    OMJ: [sighing.] Yes, ma’am.

     

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

     

    POV: WUMBO

     

    As I clutched at my new wound, overflowing with blood, one thought reverberated through my mind.

     

    WUMBO: Ssj’s a dead man. Ssj’s a dead man.

     

    I felt as if I could have shouted it at the world. I turned toward the center of the island.

     

    WUMBO (CONT.): [shouting.] SSJ’S A DEAD MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!

     

    I fell to my knees, realizing that was all of the energy I had. I had tricked Ssj into thinking that I was dead by waiting until he was gone before running away myself. It was a smart plan, I thought to myself. Now I can escape this damn island. But how?

     

    I could make myself a raft out of wood! But how was I going to cut the three down, with my blade and my blade alone? I was insane. Besides, those trees would make an awful raft.

     

    Besides, what the hell kind of reflex was that? How did I know exactly where my blade was and how to use it? I had never been trained with a switchblade before.

     

    Or had I?

     

    It took up until then to realize that the only memory I had of my life was my time on SBC. Why only that? I had done many other great things in my life! Or at least, that's what I told myself.

     

    Had I really been trained in the "art" of killing? Was I a killer? I always considered myself a person of good morals and sanity. Why would I have a reason to kill anyone? I didn't want it to continue any longer.

     

    And then I had an epiphany. I was being a fucking coward.

     

    Ssj had attacked me, and all I did was run away. Why did I let him have the upper hand? Why did I let him think that I was dead, just for me to run away and do nothing about it?

     

    Ever so slowly, I got on my feet again, my wound crying out in pain, but I didn’t have the time to worry about that. I took my blade and held it toward the sky, tears brimming in my eyes. I had to make a vow.

     

    WUMBO (CONT.): I swear that I will never run from a fight again! I will kill or be killed!!!!

     

    TO BE CONTINUED

     

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

     

    Obviously, not every single character was in this episode, but be patient! A good five or more of these episodes will deal with introductions, alright? Your character will appear and have prominence, 'kay? 'Kay.

     

    DEBUTS: Ssj, Wumbo, Someone, Nuggets, Elastic, Dragiiin, Sauce, Momo, and OMJ

    BODY COUNT: No one.

    • Like 10

    Weblet Reveals All

    in Ask Me

    Posted

    oh lord, I have no idea how people manage summer hikes tbh?

     Me neither, bro.

     

     

    Do you watch your musicals on DVD and stuff or live?

     

    Many musicals aren't taped, so I either just listen to recordings or try to find bootlegged versions online (which is how I was able to watch Spamalot, Ragtime, etc.)

    Weblet Reveals All

    in Ask Me

    Posted

    I love wind chills in the air as they make 90+ a bit more bearable? 

     

    Only when you aren't swimming. Take, for example, it is lunchtime, you are wet, your towel is farther from the pool or body of water, and it is a bit windy? It becomes a little chillier, and I'm not really a fan of that.

    The Red Sea

    in Davy Jones' Locker

    Posted

    Here's a list of contestants:

     

    Sauce Mama

    OMJ

    Cha

    EVIL

    Webby (I had to, I'm sorry)

    Termin00b

    Wumbo

    Clappy

    Aya

    Nuggets

    hilaryfan80

    Shin

    ssj

    Elastic

    CNF1

    Mr. President

    Trophy

    SOF

    Crushingmayhem

    Milkmaidman

    Jelly

    Steel Sponge

    JCM

    Dr. Sex

    Jjs

    Dylan

    Teenj

    Dragiiin

    Someone

    Kevin

    SpongeSebastian

    Michaelmn

    Travis

    ExKizuna

    Maxwell

    4EverGreen

    SpankyHam

    PatBack

    Hayden

    William Leonard

    Internet

    Bob_Ball

    Nightmare_Fan

    thecrad

    Lunch Pail

    WhaleBlubber

    CF

    Metal Snake

    ScienceGirl

    Noseferatu

    • Like 7

    The Red Sea

    in Davy Jones' Locker

    Posted

    An SBC Hunger Games, if you will.

     

    This series will involve 50 SBC members waking up on a random island, with no memory of their past or how they got on that island in the first place.

     

    COMING SOON

    • Like 7

    JCM's Bottom 10

    in SpongeBob Episodes

    Posted

    I knew I wasn't the only one who agreed SpongeBob wasn't righteously indignant at the end of Best Day Ever. And I can't look at that rotten patty for more than two seconds at a time. I can't wait to see what else your countdown has in store!

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