Adventures in the Chum Bucket

[Squidward1066]

Since there are so many SpongeBob episodes focusing on Mr. Krabs and the Krusty Krab, I thought I should turn the tables and see what would happen if PLANKTON were the main character by doing a spin-off based around the Chum Bucket, and Plankton's many (failed) attempts to steal the secret formula - as well as a bit of his personal life. So, behold: my new spin-off experiment...ADVENTURES IN THE CHUM BUCKET!
 

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SEASON ONE

Episode 1. Patrick

 

Sheldon J. Plankton sat at his desk, twiddling his minuscule thumbs. Well, he calls it a desk, anyway - a better description would be a coaster supported by a stack of dictionaries. 
 
"Karen!" he yelled, summoning his computer wife. Karen is a Mark II Surplus UNIVAC W.I.F.E (that's Wired Integrated Female Electroencephalograph and whilst she loves her less-than-lifesize husband, she has a knack for not quite...agreeing with him at times.
 
"What?" she yelled back, struggling to make her robotic tones heard across the room - for her, it was a matter of metres, but for Plankton's tiny ears, she may have been a million miles away.
 
"I need you to open up the plans file again. I'm sick of waiting around for Krabs to drop the formula in front of my nose, only for him to snatch it back and humiliate me!" Plankton replied, a hint of a tear welling up in his single eye.
 
A series of plans, marked alphabetically from A to Z, flashed up on the screen. "Plan Z looks good." commented Plankton. "Let's go with that!" 
 
"Sorry, genius, you did that years ago, remember?" sighed Karen, rolling her computerised eyes. Plankton didn't blink. 
 
"It was the one where you stole King Neptune's crown..."
"Oh, that! That was one of my best schemes, wasn't it?" said Plankton, chuckling maniacally. "No matter, however. I'll just think of another one." 
 
"Why don't you just hire that pink starfish to buy a patty for you?" suggested Karen.
"Quiet, Karen, I'm thinking!" shushed Plankton. "I know! I'll hire that dumb pink starfish to buy a Krabby Patty for me!"
"Oh, brother." murmured Karen, rolling her eyes again.
 
***
"So, you just want me to buy a Krabby Patty, and give it to you?" asked Patrick. Plankton nodded.
"And then I get a Goofy Goober's ice cream?"
"Yes, Patrick. In fact, if you succeed, the Chum Bucket will be so successful that you can have a lifetime supply of Goofy Goober's ice cream!" replied Plankton, breaking into an evil laugh.
 
Patrick walked around the block, examining some of the tumbleweeds, before finally arriving at Bikini Bottom's finest undersea eatery - the Krusty Krab. "Good morning, Krusty Krew!"  he bellowed, marching up to Squidward.
 
"Patrick? What are you doing here?" demanded Squidward, flustered at the sight of his second neighbour.
"I've come to...uh..." Patrick paused, and stared at the word written on his hand. "...order." 
"All right, what'll it be?" 
"I'll have an....uhh...."
"Patrick, will you please order already?" 
Patrick consulted his hand again, before replying: "One Krabby Patty, please." 
"Daring today, aren't we?" Squidward said, in a sarcastic tone. "SpongeBob! One medium piece of garbage!"
 
A few moments later, SpongeBob appeared out of the kitchen, wielding a Krabby Patty on a tray. "Order up! Oh, hi, Patrick." 
 
"Hi SpongeBob."
"Want to go jellyfishing later?"
"No, I can't. I have...uh...stuff."
"Oh, okay, have fun with that!" 
 
SpongeBob handed over the Krabby Patty to his best friend, not suspecting for a moment that he had just surrendered the Krabby Patty Secret Formula to the Krusty Krab's most hated enemy - Plankton.
 
***
 
In the Chum Bucket lab, Plankton was calibrating and re-calibrating his analysing equipment when Patrick strolled nonchalantly through the door. At the sight of the 'KK' takeaway box, Plankton burst into an evil laugh: "FINALLY! THE KRABBY PATTY FORMULA IS MINE! MWA HA HA HA!" 
 
"Right then, Patrick. I command you to drop the bag into the analyser." he ordered. Patrick obeyed with complacence, and Karen intoned: "100% cardboard."
 
"WHAT?" shrieked Plankton, demanding an explanation.
"I'm sorry, Sheldon, but there was nothing in the box." replied Karen.
 
"Your name is Sheldon?" asked Patrick, looking confused.
"Nevermind that! What did you do with the Krabby Patty?"
"Oh, that. I got hungry on the walk back here, so I ate it." replied Patrick, belching.
 
"NOOOOOOOOO!"
 

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Adventures in the Chum Bucket will return tomorrow with episode 2a.

Any comments or feedback would be greatly appreciated!

 

~Squidward1066

[Squidward1066]

 

SEASON ONE

Episode 2a. Spongey Patties (part 1)

 

"SpongeBob, Squidward, will you come into me office for a minute?" asked Mr. Krabs, owner and proprietor of the Krusty Krab restaurant.

 

"Aye, aye, captain!" replied SpongeBob. He placed his spatula to the side of the sizzling batch of Krabby Patties he was cooking and entered the room marked 'OFFICE' through the communicating door. Mr. Krabs did not look happy. 

 

"What is the meaning of this?" he barked, holding up a freshly cooked Krabby Patty and gesturing wildly in its direction.

"But sir, it's just an ordinary Krabby Patty!" said SpongeBob, a confused expression on his face.

"With four pickles, premium peeled buns, fresh cheese, newly-made patty batter, and decorative seaweed dressing! Do you have any idea how large the bill for these items is, boyo? Well, I'll tell you: it's $5 more than last year!"

 

"Oh, boohoo." commented Squidward, finally raising his head from the copy of Dance Quarterly he was perusing in the back corner. "What on Earth will we do without five dollars? It's a catastrophe! Someone call Damage Control!" 

 

"That's exactly what I mean, Mr. Squidward - this can't go on. Look, lad, you've got to stop making these patties!"

 

"The customers say they look fancy and taste delicious...please, Mr. Krabs?" 

 

"It's fancy, he says! It's delicious, he says! I'll tell you what it is - IT'S LOSING MONEY!"

 

A tear welled up in SpongeBob's eye. "Well, fine then. I'll make my own restaurant!" he announced, running out of the Krusty Krab.

 

*****

 

"So, that infernal sponge has gone solo, eh?" noted Plankton, staring out of his larger-than-life telescope at SpongeBob's pineapple, which was adorned with banners marked with 'Spongey Patties - ON SALE HERE!'

 

Customers were literally queuing for miles around for the new Spongey Patties, and they made so much money that Patrick was forced to stuff his entire rock-house with Bikini Bottom banknotes. Plankton stepped away from the telescope.

 

"This is marvellous! Now that Krabs has no fry cook, the Krusty Krab will be forced out of business once and for all!" he proclaimed, rubbing his tiny hands together.

 

"It's not as marvellous as you think, Sheldon." pointed out Karen. "Don't you realise that this means all your attempts to steal the formula are worthless?"
 

"Quiet, my computer wife!" commanded her husband. "This means that all my attempts to steal the formula are worthless! Why, the little..."

 

He stopped himself. "But if I could steal this new formula, people would flock to the Chum Bucket from miles around! That's it, Karen! I'll steal this new formula and the Chum Bucket will FINALLY be successful. MWA HA HA!"

 

The seed of a plan began to form in his mind.

 

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Adventures in the Chum Bucket will return on Wednesday with episode 2b

Any comments or feedback would be greatly appreciated!

 

~Squidward1066 

 

[Squidward1066]

Part 2 of Spongey Patties is delayed until tomorrow, possibly until Friday, because of my hectic schedule.