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Spin-Off/Lit Reviews!

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District SBC - B

 

The reason I reviewed myself was to show people what I have to improve with the writing.

 

Plot - The plot was supposed to be like The Hunger Games. Then I came up with a different plot that turned the characters from doing the Game into escaping OMJ. My writing wasn't so good in the earlier episodes. That was when I changed the writing. I don't just want to write a good lit. I want to write a decent lit that would grab the readers attention. 8/10

 

Grammar - Now this was what I had trouble with. I know most of grammar, but not all of grammar. 6/10

 

Characters - 9/10 There is like 20 or 25 characters that have or have not have a line but are mentioned. Its really hard keeping track of everyone :P

 

Overall, It's a good lit.

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Bikini Top- F

 

Bikini Top, the spin-off (FANFIC) once praised as the greatest spin-off ever written on SBC, sucks. But if you've read Jjs' Riffing Theater, you already know that. So why am I reviewing it? Because it's such an overrated mess that it deserves it! Please forget that my review in the Spin-off Club from last year ever existed (if you even recall it), I'm sorry. I've realized now that this show needs brutally honest, constructive criticism. Even though I'm not really in the mood for writing a ridiculously long review, I'm going to go over the five biggest problems with this show that just would not stop begging to be improved. Are you ready?

 

Number one would be BETTER NARRATION. The narration in this show is so irritating. I have nothing against stories that are told in the present tense, but the descriptions in this show are so awkward. They contradict each other constantly in a failed attempt at trying to be sarcastic and silly, have the tendency to be very redundant, and rarely ever add meaningful information to what's going on in the story and what the characters are feeling. For example...

 

Spoiler
The weather was GREAT. Well, not GREAT. Just GREAT for Bikini Top. Other than that, uh... not so great.

 

 

Two horrible components for a bad day that together could make a horrible day.

 

He's going to live with his father in Bikini Top, because his mother, Zoe, and her fiance, Zack, are traveling the sea because Zack got a great job, that will require some moving.

I rest my case.

 

 

Number two would be BETTER USE OF SPONGEBOB CHARACTERS. This show is called a spin-off, but you wouldn't assume it was just by reading it. You would've guessed that it was a literature. Why? Get this. SPONGEBOB AND FRIENDS ARE BARELY IN IT. It takes them not one, not two, but ELEVEN episodes to be mentioned. They do ONE thing to further the story in the twelfth episode, and then BAM. They're practically forgotten about minus a scene of dialogue every four to ten episodes. They serve no importance to the story beyond the episode of their debut. For a spin-off, that is unacceptable.

 

Number three would be BETTER CHARACTERS. Since the Spongebob characters are out, it's up to the OC's (other characters) to be the stars of this spin-off, and boy, they are not an interesting bunch of stars. I'll try to summarize each one of the main characters for you. Bryan is a whiny drama queen who likes to be a cynical jerk, Jake is a whiny drama queen who likes to be a selfish jerk, Naomi is a whiny drama queen who likes to be a sensitive jerk, Temperance is a whiny drama queen who likes to be a bitchy jerk, and everyone else is just there. Also, none of the characters are ever developed properly, not even at crucial points in the show. For example, Bryan still retains his "cynical dicklick" attitude even after he overcomes his life being turned topsy-turvy by the bad guys, and Jake remains a self-absorbed ditz even as he prepares to take on the challenge of fatherhood. All of them are unlikable, unrelatable, one-dimensional flakes who would make even the poorly designed OC's from Sonic and MLP: FIM fanfics look like characters from Shakespearean classics.

 

Number four would be BETTER HUMOR. Forgetting the many lulzy moments in this spin-off, there's little entertainment value to be had. The puns are not even mildly creative or humorous (FishPod, FishTunes, Fishbook, really?) and even though I'm well aware this is a drama show, the comic relief is bland at best. The "Our Song! Cool, what's your song?" conversations is just one of the examples of how mind-numbing the dialogue in this show can get, with characters having meaningless rounds of dialogue ("Hello! I don't know. What's that? Oh, I see. So...") that don't advance the story at all. It's depressing if anything.

 

Now for number five, the most important aspect that needed to be improved..... *drumroll accompanied by dramatic silence*

 

BETTER STORY.

 

This is one of the most boring stories I've ever read, and I think I've begun to catch onto the reason. This show does not have a story. What's the plot of this show? Bryan comes to a town and shit happens. That's it. None of the drama in this show builds to anything, and it doesn't even matter because none of the drama in this show is intriguing. "Characters act like a-holes, someone suffers and/or dies, they act stupid at a funeral, rinse and repeat." Anything that possibly could build to an epic story like the plot of Bryan being targeted by a gang of drug dealers from an abyss or some shit falls flat on its face as well as it's not fleshed out enough, and it even creates room for plotholes and inconsistencies. Even worse, nearly all of the "OMG SHOCKING" parts of the story such as Gordan's death, Hersht getting run over, and Naomi crashing her car are ruined either by plotholes and inconsistencies or nonsensical dialogue killing the mood. But again, it wouldn't matter because even the "OMG SHOCKING" parts don't build to anything intriguing. The point is that all of these flaws make for one boring story.

 

In conclusion, is there anything I like about Bikini Top? Well, I do honestly admire that 70s was able to make this spin-off incredibly lengthy, working his fingers to the bone typing all these letters out. But length does not equal strength, especially when said letters form a show riddled with obnoxious narration, laughable inconsistencies, poorly developed characters, uninspired jokes, and an unbelievable snoozefest of a story. But hey, maybe there's a lesson in all this. Maybe this show is meant to serve as a reminder of the fact that times change, and that we should be open and honest about our opinions when we're asked for them. That way, shows will become "Number #1" for an actual reason. Thank you and good night.

 

Spoiler

P.S.! The only reason I'm giving this an F and not an F- is because...some of the lulzy dialogue is fun to read. But that is it!

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Mermaid Man The Aquatic Avenger- A

I feel like I was the only one who actually read this spinoff. Keep up the good work JCM

Bikini Top: F+ only lulzy dialogue and that's it. Do I need to say anything else about this vortex to hell which is our "#1 Spinoff"?

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Bikini Top - F-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Bikini Top gave me 12 paper cuts over the Internet. I got cataracts just from reading it. 70s killed my brother.

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I'll probably write a legitimate review of Bikini Top at some point. It would take long, sorta.

 

Your Definition of the Word "Probably"- A+

 

It's a synonym for "never". I think that's awesome. I'm serious.

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