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Majesty Yuka

lil’ spooky ass tourist

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lil’ spider guy going on vacation underwater during Halloween time. Bitch should be commended for literally defying the odds of drowning to join the city in this yearly festive event. And yet he never returned to the ocean as far as we know. Did he have a bad experience? Maybe gambled too hard and lost all his funds, his web home on dry land, his wife and children left him. Or maybe the lack of oxygen and pressures of the water met him with his demise even before he had the chance to go Trick or Treating to forget about how his wife right now was probably over at his wife’s ex-girlfriend from high school Ms. Martha Mantis’s place right now with his children. Yeah he was sure it was just a “friendly” visit, Gloria. Why don’t you take the fucking KIDS over to your mother’s place before you decide to scissor it out with a bug eyed bitch who left you cold in the 10th grade. He would come home that night knowing his webs could never satisfy his wife the way that preying mantis woman did.

Wherever you are Spidey, just know we miss you and you are loved.

 

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I have no doubts that Spidey no longer takes his vacations underwater. Based on the pink one's reaction here spending your 3 days of unpaid vacation time in Bikini Bottom seems like a life of hell for arachnids like him. If you ask me he's almost certainly dead by now. He'd have to spend his days hiding from the natives, being seen as nothing but a useless pest, getting hunted down and almost smashed into amorphous blobs. But why take such a perilous holiday like this? Maybe it raised his Halloween spirits? Maybe he only wanted to feel the thrill of hiding in plain sight, just like Gloria had during Fridays with that bitch Martha? I only wish I could talk to Spidey right now. Give him a big old spider hug. Give him some flies to eat. I guess we'll never truly understand him.

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