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Roll Credits

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First, a little history.

I. The Beginning

Our story begins with a bang.

Back in the 1930s, there was a lot of work being done by various groups on nuclear technology, due to more information about how atoms work coming to light. This work eventually manifested itself as The Manhattan Project in 1942. Work on nuclear weapons technology for the project took place at New Mexico’s Los Alamos Laboratory. Eventually, those involved with the project got the idea to test a nuclear weapon just north of Alamogordo, New Mexico.

I wasn’t smart enough to understand the part of the Wikipedia page that went into how they constructed Trinity (the test subject), so I can’t tell you about that, but regardless, on Monday, July 16, 1945 C.E., 05:29:21 Mountain Standard Time, just north of Alamogordo, New Me-

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The scientists were over the moon. However, no one thought to realize the possible effects that this would have to the patch of desert where Trinity exploded, a catastrophic oversight. Life went on after the whole Trinity sha-bang was over, but after a while, some of the small rocks that were present for the detonation began to convulse, oddly. This pattern of convulsion went on for a few days, until after a while, a deep voice filled the air.

“Whu…I…huh?”, it spoke.

The voice was coming from a small reddish-brown rock that had mutated enough to have some humanoid features. At this point, three tiny “legs” were going out of it’s bottom.

A loud yelp then rang out.

Another rock, colored with a mix of red and blue, had similarly become humanoid, with a giant bump growing of it’s top. Several rocks then showed noticeable signs of sentience, and had the primal instinct to gather together. The rocks (that could clearly see) all looked around at each other, and knew two things at that moment.

A)    They had to stick together.
B)    Jesus Christ, there are sentient rocks!

Anyways, the rock tribe looked at all of their brethren, before the reddish-brown one spoke up.

“Peeble”, he said, his speech not quite developed. “We urr help each ofer. We help you. Ah?”.

There was a pleased murmur that quickly sounded among the speech-enabled rocks. The rock tribe then awkwardly scooted/crawled away to find food. As they did, they heard another rock catch up to them; an OP gentleman that had grown to be crazy “buff”. He would clearly help in the mission, so the others let him tag along. The rocks scooted for what seemed like a hell of a lot of miles. Eventually, they spotted a motionless figure in the distance, specifically a large fox carcass. 

As they slowly inched closer to it, they realized it just might be food. Some rocks began tapping at it, wondering what it’s deal was. One rock took a bite out of it, and confirmed it’s edibility. The OP rock went over to it, picked it up, and threw it back towards the direction of the rest of the rocks. He slowly scooted back to the fox carcass, threw it again, and then another time. Eventually, he got the fox carcass back to the rest of the rocks, and took a small bite to signify that that could be done. The rocks were interested, and began to eat it, even bringing back pieces for the less mobile folk, a kind move which I think we could learn from as a society. 

This little rock colony began to thrive, with the OP rock automatically becoming the leader, spending his days finding things to help his people. Times did get hard, however. There were times when the folks had to start eating the sand beneath them. But they stayed alive, and eventually, offspring began popping up. How, you ask?

Hell if I know, go buy a book.

Natural selection quickly went to work, and for the next 50 years, the rocks evolved, evolved, and evolved some more, and eventually we arrived at our heroes.

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Until next time.

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II. Discovery

It was another normal day on the sentient rock grounds, April 8, 1999 to be exact. The rock people had to move away a bit from the original Trinity site, as it had since become an officially recognized landmark, and many didn’t want to draw attention to themselves, fearing the worst that could happen. Eventually, however, things became incredibly dire. The OP rock, still alive, was becoming too weak to even make basic motions. This meant that a vital giver of resources was out on the bench, and on this very day, the OP rock was carried in on a bed made out of the wing of a crashed plane. 

“All of you, come here, I gotta say something”, the elder slowly spoke in a gravelly (get it?) voice. 

As the rocks gathered together, he continued. “We need some of you to go into the outside world. To help stimulate the rock economy. Find something to do. If anyone asks, just say you’re from New Zealand.”

“What if they’re from New Zealand?”, a young rock wondered aloud.

“Then say you’re from Old Zealand”, the elder quickly retorted.

Standing close to each other in the crowd were seven rough acquaintances, the ones I pictured last episode, obviously. They were very patriotic for their little civilization, and wanted to help, but didn’t know how. No one gave any passionate speeches, but they could all tell that they had a shared goal of going out to human society and being someone. 

Tim made the decision to go up to the elder, and reveal their plans. The elder immediately focused on him.

“…sir? My name’s Tim. Me and a few others want to help. We want to really go out there.”

“Ah, yes, yes. Any plans?”

“Well, no, but, surely opportunity isn’t that far away…”

“Right, that’s right, young one. I have something to give you, if you wish.”

“I wish, sir.”

The elder’s servants then pulled out a rock-sack made of various xerocole skins, and gave Tim a world map that was inside.

“Here you are, Tim. This should serve you well.”

“You…you’re giving your only map? Wow…I…I…”

“Ah, I have 3 other copies.”

“Thank you, anyways. I hope to see you soon”.

Tim walked back to the other six, and showed them the map. They all gave reaffirming looks to each other, before setting their sights in the opposite direction and walking away. They walked and walked, but eventually, a pickup truck came zooming out of nowhere, before coming to a stop right in front of them. The rocks immediately tried to scamper away, getting to the back of the truck, fearing they had been caught and for this giant-seeming monster of a thing, but that wasn’t the case.

“I think we’re lost”, a female voice said inside the truck.

“…you have a point there”, a male voice replied.

As the couple looked at their own map, George had a crafty idea. He jumped up to the small platform at the bottom of the truck, before jumping into the truck’s bed, barely making it in. The others followed, with Richard and Martha needing a little help. Right as they had all made it in, the pickup started zooming along again. The rocks had to hold on mighty tight, but were making it through without any problems. The couple in the truck were headed back to Albuquerque, which was three hours away. After about fifteen minutes, the rocks gradually began to fall asleep. It was only when the truck got back in town, when they awakened, by the honking of the cars close by. As the rocks woke up, and began to look around…yeah, you can imagine their reaction. Don’t think I adequately describe the awe these seven felt, that or I’m just too lazy to.

As the truck was ensnared in nasty traffic, the rocks had enough time to slowly climb down, dodging everything in their path. They quickly spotted what looked like shelter in the form of a bus stop. The rocks made their way over to it, and lied down on the bench, correctly guessing that it was in fact, a seat. They sat there for a while, just taking in everything around them. All they could say was…nothing, because they were speechless. 

After a minute, a bus came along. The driver was unaware that the rocks at the seat were sentient, thinking some fool had just left ‘em there. And yet, he had the doors open for long enough so that all the rocks made it in. They were again, awestruck, by this crappy public bus, thinking it to be some kind of mobile building. They saw these presumably human folks sitting down in the seats, but it seemed as though all the spots were taken. Not wanting to be possibly separated, they went down the bus, looking for open spots, and succeeded in finding one, next to Nickelodeon production assistant Gary Ross. 

Gary had been working as a PA at Nick for a couple years now, and instantly earned a lot of respect among his peers for his diligence and wit, so much so that the developers of SpongeBob SquarePants named the titular character’s pet snail partially after him. He was coming home from visiting family, but around this time, he and the rest of the SpongeBob team were having a problem.

See, they were finalizing the title card sequence in this time. They had it all visualized. Blue text in (later-named) “Krabby Patty” font slightly sideways against an ocean floor backdrop. However, something about it just seemed…blank. Some crew members got the idea to add some rocks as a nice little set piece. They had their guys paint it up, but it still was just…off. The colors just didn’t seem to look completely solid, but the painters insisted they tried their best to make everything fit. Less than a month out from premiere date, and things just weren’t completely hunky dory. 

Gary heard a rattling noise as the rocks got into the seat, and looked down, immediately filled with some joy. These rocks had a real authenticity to them you couldn’t get with paint. He visualized an ocean floor background beneath them, and wondered if this might be what the folks at Nick were looking for. Gary quietly swept the rocks into his pocket. Said rocks weren’t expecting this, to say the least, but tried to stay optimistic on the journey back to Los Angeles.

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III. Hired

The next day, when Gary went to work, a pitch meeting was being held for the episode “Lemons out of Lemonade”. Everyone in the crew was in attendance, so when the pitch was done, and notes were given, Gary slowly raised his hand, as everyone started to look at him. 

“Okay, well, about this rock problem we’ve been having.” Gary said, nervously pulling the rocks out of his pocket.

Eyebrows raised in hope and anxiousness.

“I found these rocks on the bus yesterday,” he continued, “I think they might be good for us”.

Stephen Hillenburg went over to Gary, took the rocks, and examined them closely.  After a while, a subtle smile formed on his face. He took the rocks over to a small group of suits sitting in a corner of the room, inaudibly telling them something. The suits inaudibly told him something back, and then Steve went over to Gary again.

“This just might work” Steve said, to the cheers of many. “The execs say to come back with these tomorrow”.

“Will do, sir”. Gary replied, happier than everyone else.

That night, Gary came back to his apartment, and the rocks finally woke up. Gary had put them in a small muslin bag, so they all started to freak out, kicking at the bag, eventually pushing it off Gary’s bedside table. 

Gary went in, and put the bag back up. The rocks kicked the bag over, and the cycle repeated a few more times. Eventually, Gary got so tired of this, he held up the bag, and looked at it right in it’s muslin.

“Alright, you…bag.” Gary spoke, chuckling through his words. “I need to take your contents to work tomorrow, so you better stay put. I’m trying to make dinner here”.

As Gary walked away, the rocks began to think. Work? Food? Maybe, just maybe, they were in the right place. They weren’t sure if they should reveal their sentience, because they didn’t know about the ins and outs of the typical human reactions to talking rocks, but on the other hand, they would need to communicate.

Gary opened the door to Nickelodeon the next day to see the suits waiting for him on the lobby. 

“Come with us.”, one of them said, quickly.

Gary pulled out the rocks, and gave them to the suits, who took them down to a sound stage. On the stage was a large version of the ocean floor backdrop, an ocean ripple effect just above that was being created by analog machinery, and there was a semi-automatic titling system in the next room that would display the credits as the shoot was going on, which means there were also a lot of wires on the stage. ‘Course, the titling system wasn’t the most functional piece, putting it lightly, and would need consistent live feed to do it’s job, but the budget was already spent on the analog machinery, so everyone would just have to work with it.

The suits were bringing the rocks down to their positions, when all of a sudden, Ed coughed.

“Who was that?” a suit asked, panicked.

“Me.”, the rock replied.

“SWEET JESUS!” the suits exclaimed, dropping all the rocks on the floor. 

The place was silent for a while, until an “Oops” from Ed rang out. 

“Can..all of you…talk?, a suit asked.

The rocks all began to murmur differently worded answers about New Zealand, before being cut off by a suit asking, “Lemme guess, you wanna be paid, too?”.

“Um…yes.” Tim replied.

The suits began to sigh loudly.

“…we will get the money at a later date. Promise”, said one.

The rocks nodded in agreement, before assuming their famous positions on the sandy floor. As humming, hot studio lights and a large camera shined over them, things felt pretty good. 

When the rocks were ready, the camera began rolling, and “Hawaiian Train” by Victor Cavini began to play over the sound system. However, at the end, Ed coughed again. Okay, so, take 2. During take 2, Jean wasn’t staying completely still. During take 3, Bill blinked. During take 4, Ed coughed again. During take 5, Richard and Martha both separately started dancing to the music. You can tell where this is going. 

Seven seconds. All it was was seven measly little seconds. How could it be so hard? Well, have you ever tried getting a rock to stay still? It’s not easy, let me tell you!

Take 84 rolled around, and the rocks were so tired they started to fall asleep. This meant they got the footage without issue this time around, but on the other hand, the extensive filming caused the extremely sensitive titling system to start really crapping out for a while.

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That night, as they slept in the muslin bag on the stage, the rocks were worried that things wouldn’t get any better.

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IV. Things Get Worse

The next time the suits walked into the soundstage area, the rocks were still as optimistic as they could be regarding their new job. Maybe the suits were just trying to scare them into doing their best work, or something.

The suits ordered the rocks to assume their positions. However, as Bill was running over to his, he accidentally tore a hole in the ocean floor backdrop. After a lot of yelling…a lot of yelling…it was concluded to be too expensive to fix quickly enough for possible reshoots, so this hole can be seen in several of the show’s earliest episodes.

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However, eventually a new ocean floor was supplied by the artists. Once everything was set up, the suits decided to test the backdrop out by shooting credits for “Reef Blower” with it, but the titling machine didn’t really feel like doing anything that day. The next day, too. The next week, for that matter. Eventually, the bastard finally decided to turn on on April 26, but SpongeBob’s premiere was that Saturday and they needed the episodes in, so there was no time for a shoot. 

As the suits left the soundstage that day, they were talking to each other about the show’s premiere party, which was to be held at a tiki bar/Indian buffet. The word “party” caught the rocks’ attention, as their little tribe back home threw a massive one every year in the summer. 

“We’d like to go to the party!” Tim shouted.

“Ah!...no, we wouldn’t want you discovered…”: a suit replied, slowly.

Made sense.

To make up for it, a Matsui 6091 was brought in that evening so they could still see their performance. The rocks waited for what seems liked years, spacing out during the Kids’ Choice Awards, only to be awaken afterwards, to the familiar sounds of “Hawaiian Train”. 

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There it was. Their international TV debut.

What followed was some weird crap about a yellow thing going to this place with a red thing and a blue thing, and, ah…the details aren’t that important. They couldn’t figure out how to shut it off, though.

Richard, however, was visibly upset. Only half of him ended up on screen.

“They shunned me…”, he stammered. “The rocks back home will just think will just think I’m a failure..”.

“No, no!”, Jean spoke back. “I’m sure it just a simple mistake. Maybe next time you’ll be fully presented!”

Next time came quicker than they thought, as a little while later, they showed up on the TV again, to present some weird crap about the yellow thing meeting a brown thing, but Richard was still just on the edge of view. He had to excuse himself, walking over to the other side of the stage.

The next time the suits came in, to film credits for “Naughty Nautical Neighbors”, as everyone was getting everything setting up, Richard spoke up.

“Um…can I be shown fully on the screen?”

“No.”

“Wh…why not?”

“Because that’s not what we want. No one will notice you, anyways”.

There was a long silence before “Hawaiian Train” started playing again, for filming.

It was another long, grueling session. The rocks had to be showered by the scorching lights and camera, the unending seven second music loop, constantly getting yelled at for the slightest mistakes, having poor living conditions, never leaving the stage…they felt like they were being treated like they weren’t humans.

Soon after, they had to film for “Boating School”. The rocks were vocally anxious about the potential return of a “Hawaiian Train” loop, as it was grinding away in their heads now, so lo and behold, their worst nightmares came true. It was at this point where the rocks realized the suits didn’t care about them at all. The suits didn’t realize how deep their emotions ran, didn’t realize they weren’t robots, thinking that whatever it took to make the cash cow moo was worth it. 

As the cash cow mooed more and more, with SpongeBob becoming Nickelodeon’s flagship series, the suits became more and more bloated in relation to the property, treating the rocks worse and worse, making sessions longer and longer, as the rocks were more and more tense and afraid of messing up. More on that later down the line, presumably.

And of course, this was all taking a great toll on the already sickly titling machine.

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However, word on the street was that season 3 would be the final season, and that things were about to cool down. 

 

 

 

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Bit of a small, less eventful one this time. Mostly to just connect stuff.

V. Post-Movie

At the end of season 3, the rocks were relieved, believing the show was over, and that they could go back home. They had gotten some paychecks throughout the years, so at least their mission was somewhat of a success. Didn’t douse the fact that they suffered a lot during filming, though. Whatever, they were really starting to miss their old life, anyways.

Then the show got revived.

The rocks were upset, a lot more than upset, obviously. I’ll leave it to you to figure out the specifics, I’m not really sure myself. They didn’t know how long the show would go for, but they knew something had to be done.

When the suits came back down to film “Fear of a Krabby Patty”, the rocks didn’t hesitate to speak up.

“Sir?”

“Yes…uh…uh…”

“Tim. We need more money…”

“More money?!”

“More money. Given our working conditions, it could make things better…”

“Well…well…”

(long silence)

“Could we at least make the intro one second shorter?

“I…I…”

“All good then.”

So, things went on, obviously. The rocks worked in the same, hot, tiring conditions. Shoots seemed endless, but at least…they were six second shots instead of seven. Eh. 

Eventually, paycheck time came. They had been promised a paycheck at the end of every fifth shoot, and as they went through the agonizing seven second shoot for “Have You Seen This Snail?”, they all got more and more anxious. This caused them to shift around a lot more, demanding more and more takes. Eventually, they finally got a take that worked. So, the rocks went up to the suits just as they were packing up to leave.

“Our paycheck?”

“Oh…well…we needed to purchase a new titling system…but we promise you’ll get paid next time.”

(long silence)

“Okay.”

Then came “Dunces and Dragons”, and after the shoot, each rock got paid minimum wage, which would at least work for some rocks. So, that’s something.

But time went on. Like, a lot of time went on. Like, when this time specifically stops going on, we’re at “Truth or Square”. 

Extensive live action filming is being done for the special, in the Nickelodeon offices and soundstages around that of the rocks’. Chatter about it being the 10th anniversary of SpongeBob is coming through the walls, and striking the rocks like a gong. 10 years. 10 whole years. They knew they’d been there for a long time, but hell, a decent amount of the audience was younger than their careers! If they had lasted 10 years, then how much longer would they be here? 100 years?

The rocks were all keeping to themselves, yet panicking at the same time. They wandered around the stage, trying to see if they could quietly get through any exit. The rocks needed to get out and live life. They needed sun, they needed fun!

The staff of the SpongeBob Community interrupts this episode to announce a ban on MMM from ever posting in the Spin-Offs and Literature section again, due to writing such a horrible line.

This is also not the staff of SBC writing this, and there is no such ban. Sorry, staff.

Eventually, they saw a ratty, old, small cardboard box on the floor, just off in the corner of the room. They went over to it, optimistically hoping that it could provide them with some assistance. 

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VI. The Secret Box

The rocks picked the box up, and it began to vibrate. They dropped it on the floor, curious but afraid, and it turned around by itself.

“Hey.” the box said,

“Who…are you?” Tim asked.

“They called me a ‘secret box’. They were filming me for an opening card for something of the same name. It was a grueling process, and so long…I had to…man….”

“Well, it sounds like we’ve had to do the same thing.”

“Really?”

“I’m sure of it. Can you tell us more?”

“Well, let’s see. I honestly don't remember all that much. What I can first remember is a bunch of weird, old white substance spilling on me, seeping through a table... 

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Must've had something in it, I started to feel more alive...there were a bunch of tall figures constantly yelling at me to stay still. One of them... kicked me out of anger and they had to give me some tape."

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"That's awful!"

"No kidding."

"We've had happen to us, for so many years. How long has this happened to you?"

"Eh, just the once. I've just been sitting here all this time...better this than getting that again."

"Do.you ever find it sad in here?"

"Don't get me wrong, I do. Just so drab being in here all these days. I just want to escape, sometimes..."

"Same."

There was silence as both parties realized this was the perfect opportunity for them to leave. The rocks went for an exit, imagining the box would follow behind, but...oh yeah, he didn't have legs. 

The rocks went to over to him, and made a plan. 

"We need to climb into you." spoke George.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. We can poke.holes to get our legs out and running, I think."

"I...I...I'll do it. Just be gentle."

The rocks tried to be gentle, and seemed to do good in that right. With this convoluted setup, they slowly, but surely inched their way over to the exit. They had to be careful, as the visits from the suits were seemingly at random.

“Man, it’ll be good to get out.”

“Yeah, we can’t wait to see the rocks again.”

“Rocks?”

“It’s a long story. You can scroll up to the first episode to read more.”

“Ah, gotcha.”

“Are there any other characters here?”

“Yeah, but they’re long gone. Probably for better uses anyway.”

“Well…we have just as much worth. We’re the leading stars!”

“Ah, I suppose. Not me, though.”

“…hmm.”

Eventually, they got to the exit, but “blocking” their way was a small hatch. The rocks decided to get out, and tinker with this hatch, trying to fidget with it, to see what it could do. Eventually, it completely broke off, and they were pushed out into an alleyway, landing on some bags of trash. 

A well dressed old man standing near looked back, beginning to walk over out of curiousity.

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One more after this.

VII. Escape

The rocks and box could do nothing but wait, as the man slowly approached them. At that moment, they thought of a bunch of possible outcomes in the situation, naturally, many of them were bad. 

The man then picked up the group, dropped them back to where they were, seeing nothing of interest in them. He then walked back to where he was standing, seemingly not moving afterwards. The group wasn’t sure what this guy’s deal was, but due to his lack of reaction to them, they figured the coast was clear.

The rocks, again, assumed position inside the box, replicating their slow-crawling movement from earlier, also being careful with the money they had snuck out with. Everything was working fine, with the only problem being that vision was still limited in this setup. They slowly crawled down the entryway of the building, but it wasn’t too long before they bumped into something.

The man’s left shoe.

The man only felt a slight impact, but one big enough for him to go down and see what happened. He picked up the thing, and as this happened, the rocks began trying to escape, afraid, crawling all over the man’s hands, and-

Alright. I wanted to find a way to reveal this information in a manner that flowed with the story well, but you know, writing this, i’m in school right now, have been given a free period, last class before a break, want to get something out, but can’t be bothered to find a way I could easily work it in and don’t want to write “the man” too much more. The man is former Nickelodeon Studios security guard Don Newhouse. There.

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Don’t tell the rocks, though, ‘cause I’ve planned this episode out so that he’s just a mystery figure.

And you’re thinking, “MMM, Nickelodeon Studios is in Florida, but the story is in California!”. Well, I didn’t realize that until right before I was about to post this, but fuck it. Let’s just say he was filling in for someone else that day.

Yeah, so anyways, Don was really freaked out by this crawling, he thought there were bugs inside the box. He threw the box to the floor, spilling out all of the rocks in the process. The man was slightly puzzled at this point, which, obviously, was only worsened when the rocks started moving around.

“Augh!”

“Sorry, sorry! Please don’t hurt us.”

“Living rocks? I…”

“Sir, we need to go home.”

“Wh…where?”

“Just a bunch of sand everywhere, some radiation…”

“What? Anything else?”

“It was near…what was it…Alba-ker-kee…”

“…oh!”

“Do you know where this is?”

“I believe so…is the box going, too?”

“Me? Oh, uhhh…I guess…maybe just be with other boxes, more like my own.”

Don paused, before slowly walking into the building, and after a few minutes, slowly walking back out. He was very quiet, looking at the floor. He almost seemed ashamed of himself, as he had lied to his superiors about an incredibly sick nephew. They let him leave, but he had never done anything like this before. Yet, he felt he had to help those rocks and box, thinking back, he had recognized them from the opening cards, they looked faintly similar, but was stunned by all of these sentient developments. He figured it wouldn’t take too long. He gathered them all in the car, set up his GPS, and drove off.

Close by the studios was a storage unit. Don knew it was the right place for the box, and took him in. After some negotiation with the workers, the box was put with a lot of lads just like him, making him quite happy. But, the rocks still had a long way to go.

“Ah, just so you know, where you’re going is several hours away.”

“It’ll be worth it.”

“Mhm.”

So, not much happened in the next several hours, not much happened. Don drove and drove, the rocks slept and slept. Eventually, however, they were able to arrive in Albuquerque, still three hours away from the rock village.

“So, where in Albuquerque are you seven?”

“In a desert, remember with the radiation stuff?”

There was a long silence as Don realized, again, he had to drive three more hours, to the Trinity test site. 

But, he got it done, like the good soul he was, Similar events occurred as those during the drive to Albuquerque, but as Don got on to the desert, the shift in terrain caused a loud bump that startled the rocks awake.

Don walked over to the back of the car, picked the rocks up, and showed them the land.

“Does this look familiar?”

“Yes! Yes!”

“Should I leave ya here?”

“Hmm…just give us some direction out here, like a head start into the desert.”

Don then took each rock, one by one, and threw them further out in the desert, with each yelling, “Thanks, stranger!” as they flew through the air. He then took the wads of cash the rocks were able to muster up in their career and sent it careening towards the same direction, before getting in his car, and starting the drive back. 

 

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Locker time.

VIII. The End

The rocks walked for a bit, hoping, but not completely sure that they were in the right place, but had a good idea that they were so. They walked for what seemed like the longest time, but eventually, they heard noise in the distance. They turned their heads in hope, and saw a bunch of a small, lumpy shadows. The rocks hurried over immediately. As they became closer and closer, they realIzed that they were home!

Admittedly, there was some confusion about who these returning rocks were amongst the dormant populous at first. They had been forgotten by some, presumed dead by some, and too young to remembered by some. However, seeing as they seemed to be similar to the other rocks, they were let in without issue. 

Two rocks off to the left ran away, and after a brief while, came back, with the still-alive king being carried in on the very stretcher he had been ten years ago. He could no longer speak, and the rocks were not exactly sure how to communicate with him. After a bit of thinking, Tim picked up the money, and slowly rubbed across the elder’s face. He seemed to respond. There was some silence, but afterwards, the elder reached out for the money. Tim gave it to him, he slowly held it up for everyone to see. 

The money bounced off the light perfectly. It attracted the attention of everyone around, who were, all at once, stunned. They had seen this dollar so many times throughout the years, on the rock propaganda conjured up by the government, but nevermind that. This was the real deal. They had gotten a bunch of what could help their civilizations prosper throughout the next generation!

Cheering sounded throughout the place. The villagers ran up to the elder and the returning rocks, forming a mob of celebration. The rocks were hastily given the first ever Rock Lifetime Achievement Awards. They were forever known by all in the village, nearly to the status of the elder himself. The rocks still lived with what they had endured at Nickelodeon, but all of the celebration still felt pretty great. The money was used to help get vital things for the rocks, such as easier access to shelter and food. The population expanded at an incredible rate, things were never better, and everyone lived happily ever after.

lol

 

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