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The Misadventures of Casper and Wendy

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Thanks JCM for the kewl banner!

Greetings (wait--- do people say "greetings" anymore?), fellow sponge buddies! Welcome to my new lit, starring a certain friendly ghost and good little witch (shoulda seen that comin', huh?), entitled "The Misadventures of Casper and Wendy", now part of the Reneverse™

This be a joint venture between me and Renegade the Unicorn (who you may know as creator of such acclaimed lits as "Power Rangers: Multiverse Force" and "Disney's SMILE", and also gave me the idea for the it), lit writer extraordinaire, and it also be a serialized adventure comedy taking our boo-tiful duo on wild adventures often taking them from the Enchanted Forest which they call home, encountering adventure, intrigue, horror, terror, and all that sort of jazz. They'll also encounter mad scientists, lost civilizations, identical twins, monsters, aliens, and other gruesome characters and locales in the same vein. The humor (a far cry from the original source material) is mainly sourced from such beloved woiks as "Rocky and Bullwinkle", "Gravity Falls", and other nice movies and TV shows in a similar vein.

And so, before I start ramblin' like Wilbur Cobb, like the old-timey movie announcers say, "on with the show!!!" 

Episode 1: The Time Jumpers

Part 1: Bring Back My Bronty to Me or The Wurst is Yet to Come!

The time= 12:01, midnight!

The place= A lab in Prestigious University, Metro City, USA!

The scene= Prof. Horst Bratwurst (who may, or may not, have bratwurst on the brain) has perfected a machine that takes any item from history directly to the present day!

"At last!", shouted the professor, who was a tiny fellow, about 4'3, jumping up and down. The machine was a dinky little thing, basically a box with a tiny screen and a keyboard, with a huge hole on the top. But it had incredible abilities. "I've done it!" "Did what?", asked a janitor who strolled into the room. "Pops, I haff created a machine zat kin twansport any objeck from der past into der presink!", Horst energetically told Pops as he stepped down from a stack of books on a stool he was standing on. Pops wasn't his real name, he was actually 19. It was tradition at Prestigious University (Good old P.U.! This narrator remembers it fondly. I can still sing their old hymn if you want me to. Oh, no? Sonofagun, it's a rootin'-tootin' good one. Alright, I'll do it just to get you to listen. First, lemme tune up my harmonica. Ohhhhhhh, Prestigious University, we pledge our hearts to you! Gooood olllllllld Peeeee-Yewwwww! Weeeeee loooooove yooooouuu! That was it, but it was still a dandy song. Dangit, I forgot I have a story to narrate. Oh, w-ell...) for the janitor to be referred to as only "Pops". "Does it work?", asked Pops, who seemed rather skeptical about the whole idea. "Course zit does!", said Bratwurst. "I just type in vutever I wants to bring back, let's type in, for example, DINOSAURS." He typed in "dinosaurs" onto the keyboard, and it showed up onto the screen in glowing green text. "Vatch, Mr. Custodian, sir," the professor energetically told the janitor as he carefully pressed the "enter" key on the board, "as a legion of actual dinosaurs from der Mesozoic Era appear right here in zis very laboratory." Sure enough, a vapor emerged from the giant hole, and a series of towering dinosaurs, Tyrannosaurs, Tericeritops, Stegosaurs, Ankylosaurs, all kinds appeared. Pops, as he saw them, ran for his life, out of the lab, faster than Usain Bolt! The gigantic dinosaurs started to rampage, marching right out of the lab, leaving behind a series of gaping holes in one of the walls in the lab, and lots and lots of rubble. "Ach du Leiber!", a voice trembled from underneath all the rubble.  It was the professor. Horst emerged from all this, shook his head and glanced at the giant holes. "Noooooo! Come back here, you oversized lizards! Return! Get back here!", he screamed, furiously jumping up and down again. The dinos continued moving, until they couldn't be seen.

Sometime later this happened, somewhere in the beautiful, mysterious, Enchanted Forest, where practically anything can and will happen, we meet our heroes, Casper, the friendliest ghost you'll know, and Wendy, the good little witch. They were having a race on broomsticks, kind of like Quidditch, but without any snitch. Basically, it was NASCAR but with brooms. "Say, Casper", said Wendy, "let's race from Mount Humongous and back on these great brooms I bought the other day. It'll be loads of fun!". "Sure!", said Casper. And so, our bootiful (excuse the pun, folks!) duo raced to the mountain, when all of a sudden, Casper's eyes popped out and enlarged, like in one of them old cartoons. He saw a tyrannosaurus rex down below, guzzling down a tall oak tree, and then using a tiny bit of it for a toothpick, eventually swallowing the toothpick. The friendly ghost looked back up and shook Wendy a bit. "W-w-wendy!", he stammered. "Bi-bi-bi-big dinosaur! R-r-r-r-ight here in the Enchanted Forest!" "A dinosaur, eh?", Wendy pondered. "Sounds mighty strange. Let's investigate." And so, the two flew down to the dinosaur to see what EXACTLY was going on!

Will they get to the bottom of this prehistoric conundrum? Tune in next week, same time (probably not), same forum, for the next exciting part, "T-Rex for Two", or "One of Our Dinosaurs is Misplaced!" Ta-ta for now!

Edited by Wendy the Witch
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What, no reply? any way, here's part 2!

Part 2: "T-Rex for Two!" or "One of Our Dinosaurs is Misplaced!"

Last time, you remember, our heroes swooped down to what could possibly have been the most perplexing they had seen in all their young lives- a real live dinosaur, SMACK DAB in the middle of the Enchanted Forest! What will happen next? Let's see for ourselves!

Casper and Wendy flew down to the tyrannosaur, both of them perplexed as to WHAT a T-Rex would be doing in the Enchanted Forest in the first place? Could there be more dinosaurs about? "We're both perplexed as to WHAT a T-Rex would be doing the Enchanted Forest in the first place. Could there be more dinosaurs about?", they both pondered. Sure enough, Wendy's eagle eye observed a group of three pterodactyls flying several feet above them, many of them clutching an elf or a fairy or a ghost, destination unknown, possibly to their lair atop some tall, tall tree. Not sure if those are my aunties in some silly disguise to scare someone, or what, she thought to herself. Then again, probably not, she also thought. She turned her head to Casper, and told him, "I could be wrong, but don't you think those pterodactyls don't belong here, either, eh, my ghostly buddy? They might just be my aunts going to scare somebody in some silly disguises, but who knows! They might be gen-yoo-ine pterodactyls! If that's so, something screwy's going here." "I guess you could be right," Casper nodded. "If those were real, something screwy is INDEED going on." "Let's search the entire forest for more of this. Maybe we can find the answer as to what's going on here in the first place. "Let's!", Wendy agreed. And so, our duo flew off and searched for clues to the misplaced dinosaur mystery.

Looks like you two aren't the only ones looking for dinosaurs, Casper and Wendy! Meanwhile, at this same time, in the streets of Metro City, our friend, the Professor was wandering about, looking for his dinosaurs. "Yoo-hoo! Big lizards!", he cried out. "Ah, what's der use," he now began to complain. "I vill probably nebber be able to find mein dino pets. I need dem back in der lab before they wreak havoc!" And surely, they did wreak havoc. Many buildings around him were crushed, demolished, smashed and ruined. For hours, he searched throughout the city, to no avail, until, somewhat unexpectedly, he saw a beacon of light and heard a heavenly choir singing (actually the Metro City Men's Choir, who were just so happening to drive by). He saw giant footprints, and the trail led to some woods not too far from the professor. "Wunderschon!", he exclaimed! "Mein leedle dinosaur friends must've run into dis here forest! I must get in to see eef I kin find 'em and get 'em back to mein lab." He hustled into the woods, unaware where he was going and what (or who!) he'd end up finding.

Our dynamic duo (DC Comics, don't sue!) were still flying through the forest. "I tell you," Casper told Wendy, "we've battled hundreds of terrible monsters, but THIS is way bigger, no pun intended than any of those creeps." "I agree," said Wendy. Sure enough, they then just saw a huge swarm of brontosaurs, tyrannosaurs, stegosaurs, and other dinosaurs in a clearing, chasing after everyone in sight. "Oh. My.", they both said in unison. "I'll use my magic wand to create a giant trap for these beasties," proudly exclaimed Wendy as she got out her trusty wand. "Ziggity zaggity zee, good spirits, summon a trap for these beasts!" In a jiffy, a giant cage appeared from out of nowhere, with a huge magnet on the bars, attracting every dino in sight. 5 minutes later (and here I thought it'd take so long that I'd be tired of narrating this story!), every dinosaur in the Enchanted Forest was trapped in the cage. "Mission accomplished!", the good little witch triumphantly shouted. At this same, our friend Prof. Horst walked on the scene, amazed at what he saw. What next? Well, you'll find out! Just wait 'til the next episode, "Shut Yer Trap" or "Cage Fright!" It'll be of, ahem, big proportions! See you in the funnies!

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Part #3: "Shut Yer Trap" or "Cage Fright"!

When we last left our heroes, they had just trapped a savage horde of prehistoric dinosauri which wandered into their domain via the professor's invention. Prof. Horst has wandered aimlessly searching for his dinos so he can bring them back to his lab, to no avail, right up until he walked into a wood, unaware this was the Enchanted Forest where many magical creatures dwell- 'til now, where he's wandered onto the scene, finding his prized prehistoric lizards trapped in a gigantic cage thanks to the fantastic abilities of Wendy's magic wand. Let us now see how it's gonna play out from here on out!

When Prof. Bratwurst stumbled onto the scene, he couldn't believe his eyes. He saw a 50 ft. cage, with 25 or 30 dinos trapped inside. Around it, he could make out a circle of gnomes and elves around the cage. "Ach! Mine eyes are deceiving me," he whispered to himself. "Real-live gnomes? I thought dey only existed in der Hollywood movies!" He looked up after, and saw a ghost and a little witch on a broomstick both floating up in the air. He started to get terrified, and screamed out, "EEP! Ghost! Witch!" He ran towards Casper and Wendy and was on their knees begging for mercy. "I've seen your kind in der horror movies! You make humans your eternal slaves und turn dem into yer ghostly kind! Und you cook up innocent peoples und make brew out of 'em and eat us peoples and spit out der bones! Don't do any of it to me! I'll do anything!" "Yeah, we get that a lot," Casper replied. "We don't do any of that stuff. You should see my uncles. THEY'RE the ones who do all that creepy stuff." "Same here," Wendy added. "We're the friendly kind. We're not the type who go scaring the you-know-what out of innocent bystanders." "Wait, what?", Horst replied. "Y-you are not bad? You both good?" "Yep," Wendy replied. "You know who unleashed these dinosaurs on our turf?" She thumbed her hand towards the dinos in the cage. "I am der one who unleashed those beasties on your 'turf', indeed! You're lookin' at him!", the Professor replied. "Allow me to introduce myself. Professor Horst Bratwurst, M.D., P.H.D., R.S.V.P., P.D.Q., and bona-fide mad scientist.", he said.

"I've been working for offer fifteen years to create a machine that twansports anyding from der past right here into der presink! I did so with these dinos, and they went missink! And now, you both found my dinosaurs, so I must congratulate the both of youse! We must bring them back to mein lab!", he triumphantly added, pointing his finger at Casper and Wendy. "I think I've got a way better idea than that," Wendy said. "I've got a time machine back home that lets you go back in time in the past, the present, and the future. It's plenty roomy!" "That'll do, miss," Horst said. "Oh, and may I have der pleasure of knowing your names?" "I'm Wendy," the good little witch replied, and this, pointing to Casper, "is Casper, my best friend. Well, let's go, men! Off to the time machine! Hop on my broom, Horst!"

And so, they flew to Wendy's house. Thirty minutes later, they stopped, and there was the time machine. It was a big, metal contraption, with a huge door. I'd describe a bit more, but time is running out. See ya! And, gee, I wish I had some time to think of some witty titles for next part!

Edited by Wendy the Witch

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Thanks for the feedback, my one-horned friend!

Part #5 (hopefully with some more time than previously!)

When we last left off, our heroes (also the Professor) had flew over to Wendy's house to see her time machine that she single-handedly built and enables one to travel anywhere in time! For further details, read ahead, gang!

Our heroes flew down to the time machine, which as was previously described, was a big metal contraption with a huge door, but that's only a generic description. Generic as it may sound, but when we get to the inside, boy, oh boy! Well, anyway, when our heroes landed, the Professor was drooling over the very sight of it. "Aaaaaach duuuuuuu leeeeeeeiberrrrrr, vat issssss eeeeet?", he slowly stammered. He motioned towards Wendy and pulled her towards him by her shirt/pants hybrid...thingy. (Yeah, I'm not sure exactly what to call it. How 'bout you guys? Us narrators aren't perfect, y'know!)  "What is it, girl?", he asked. "Glad you asked, Mr. Bratwurst, sir.", she replied. She walked towards the time machine with a happy expression on her face, arms motioned towards it. "Step lively, Horst." "Ja!", he said. "This, my German friend, is a time machine I made from old scrap metal and a few other whozits and whatzits and gadgets and gizmos." "A time machine, you say? I tawt dey only existed in der movies, too!" "Nope!", Wendy enthusiastically replied. "This is for realzies. Casper and I've gone in this thing several times. Lemme show you inside." She turned towards Casper. "C'mon, little buddy! We're showing the Professor inside the time machine!" "Great!", the friendly ghost replied, and he walked inside with Wendy and Professor Horst.

The inside looked way better than the outside. There were switches and buttons aplenty, probably in the hundreds. There was a keyboard, a few chairs, and a computer on one of the walls. Horst just stood there, mouth agape at the interior. "Mother of Berlin," he whispered. "Pretty neat, huh?," the witch asked. "Ja! Everything is just zo wonderful!", the Professor replied. "How does zis machine verk?" "Glad you asked," Wendy enthusiastically answered. "You just type in the desired time and place on this here keyboard, and pull this switch over here to go. I'd talk about what all these other buttons and thingumajigs do, but that'd take up nearly the entirety of this chapter!" She turned again to Casper. "You got the dinos? We need to get 'em in here." "They're outside," Casper said, and flew outside to get the cage of dinosaurs into the time machine. It was quite heavy. "Tsk, tsk," the good little witch said to herself not too long after. "Probably too heavy for my friend. I'll get the cage in here with my wand. Cage's probably heavier than 2 800 pound gorillas, anyway." And indeed she did, and in a jiffy (a quick jiffy at that!), it was transported into the time machine, which was luckily big enough to contain it. And so, our terrible trio (well, not really, the "terrible" is in there for the purpose of alliteration) got ready to transport these beasties to their right time and place- the Mesozoic Era, 65 million years ago, give or take a few hundred years. Wendy typed "Mesozoic Era" on the keyboard, and away-y-y-y our heroes went! Through a vortex of clocks, kind of like a certain SpongeBob episode, they went, until they emerged in their destination! "Please keep seated until the ride comes to stop," the good little witch calmly stated. Oh, and don't worry, boys, this baby's indestructable, so no dinosaurs can squash this to a million bite-sized pieces."

Welp, time's running out for me, so stay tuned for the next (and last) thrilling part, "Prehysterics" or "Time and Time Again"! Tell all your friends about how the story's been while the wait's on!

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Part #6: "Prehysterics" or "Time and Time Again!"

When our story left off, our bootiful (excuse the terrible pun, folks!) heroes (also the Prof.) just got in Wendy's super-amazing time machine to transport a bunch of dinosaurs back to their natural time period, millions upon millions of years ago! What next awaits our heroes? Read on, brother!

Well, our heroes were passing through a vortex of time and space, destination set for the Mesozoic Era. Eventually, after an half-hour of passing through the vortex, while our heroes had some conversation about nothing of particular interest at this moment, they were at their destination. "Weeeeee're heeeeeeeere!", Wendy excitedly shouted as she opened the door. Our friends ran out and ooh'd and aah'd at the scenery. There was open space everywhere, a volcano far off, and a few trees. It looked like something out of a movie. "Gee," Casper said, "It looks like something out of a movie!" "Likeways," the professor replied. Not too far away, Wendy was sending the dinos on their merry way back home. This took a while, until she thought she got all of 'em out. And, of course, one tiny one ended up walking out. "Just like in cartoons!", she said to herself. She then looked over to Casper and Horst and told them, "Hurry up, boys! We're accomplished our mission." "Coming!", the two said at the same time, and they ran in the time machine. "Let's get in before some durned T-Rex squashes zit und ker-boom! We're dino chow!", the Professor shouted. "Exactly," the good little witch said with a wink. She typed in "Present Day" on the keyboard and our heroes went off, back to good ol' present day Earth! A half-hour later, they were back, and said goodbye to the Professor. "Goodbye, new friend!," Casper and Wendy said to the Professor. "Auf weidersehen!", Prof. Bratwurst replied, and he walked off back to the college he worked at. "Der boys at der university will never belief me if I told 'em dat I met a ghost und a witch!!", he said to himself.

-FIN-

And so, ends the first of many new adventures we've got planned for our heroes! Next one will likely be later this week! Stay tuned, guys and guyettes!

 

Edited by Wendy the Witch

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Just gonna leave this here:

Unless someone who wants to take over this here lit as I focus on school steps up and straight up tells me something to the lines of, "Hey, Appy, I'll take over for ya for a while." by, let's say the end of this week, I'll be forced to put The Misadventures of Casper and Wendy on *shudder* temporary hiatus.

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OK, rather than continue my current adventure, I thought I'd start from scratch and do a completely new adventure. Mainly because I don't think my current one is really good, and I'd rather go back to that one for revision one of these days. So with further ado, a brand new adventure:

Episode 2: "Substitute Santa" or "Santa Claus Isn't Comin' to Town!"

Chapter #1: "The Wayward Wind" or "A Windy Story"

Everybody knows of that jolly gift bearer, Santa Claus, who resides in the North Pole and goes around on Christmas Eve flying around on his sleigh delivering presents for good little boys and girls around the world with his trusty reindeer. I'll bet many of you think that the guy never gets the day off, or if all this tires him at all. I bet some of you are puzzled as to how he never seems to get sick over at that chilly Pole he calls home. Believe it or not, there was a time, a few years ago, when he did! And it wasn't just him who got ill. Even his reindeer were infected too, and there was much discussion as to who could temporarily tak-- wait a minute here. Let's get on with the story before we give away the plot, shall we?

Wendy had just walked out her hut early in the morning to get a breath of fresh air and to take in the sight of the wondrous landscape. "Ah-h-h-h-h...", she sighed. "What a great morning this is gonna be. The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming like never before, and the air today is positively invigorating! Positively wonderful. I hope nothing funny happens today while I do some good deeds! I want to drink in this wonderful landscape." Oh-ho! That's what YOU think, Wendy! The strangest occurances have YET to COME!!! Minutes later (after a good breakfast, of course, but who wants to read about that?), our heroine was skipping along without a care in the world looking for someone in need of her assistance. Suddenly, she heard a plaintive cry for help coming from behind a nearby tree. "HELP! SOMEONE! GEMME OUTA HERE!" "Gosh!", Wendy exclaimed. "That sounds like a plaintive cry for help if I ever heard one!" Immediately she ran to the tree, seeing a rabbit with their foot stuck in a hole in the tree. "Hold on, little buddy!", she cried. "Who do ya think I am- Gilligan?", the rabbit retorted. "Gemme outa this durn branch!" "Okay, okay!", our witchy friend said sternly. "Now on th' count of three, HEAVE! One--- two--- three!" In a matter of seconds, the rabbit's foot was out of the branch. "Thanks, Wendy!", the now freed bunny said. 'Now to do some more good deeds!,' she said happily in her head. But as soon as she started walking off, she sighted a gust of wind far off in the distance. "Eep!", she screeched. "Wind comin'! And I thought I was goin' to spend this day without any intrusion whatosever! I better make tracks for home!!!" Then, she ran like the wind, an Usain Bolt among witches for sure. But, as soon as she was almost there, the wend---er, wind swept her up in the air, destination unknown.

What'll happen next? See for yourself in the next chapter, "I've Got a Feeling I'm Fallin' for You!" or "Ho Ho Horrors!" TTFN!

Edited by Wendy the Witch

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It's been a while, so I thought I'd post the next part now while I'm thinking about it:

Part 2: "I've Got a Feeling I'm Fallin' for You" or "Ho Ho Horrors!"

Previously on TMoCaW, Wendy got swept up by a gust of wind while trying the best she could to get back to the safety of her own home. Where she's going, she doesn't know, but she's in for a big surprise. Read on.

Wendy had been trapped by the gust of wind for about an hour now, and she did not enjoy a second of it, spending the whole time muttering Popeye-style to herself about her distaste about the whole thing. "Chee," she mumbled out loud, "This is a dilly of a pickle! Ho, ho, what fun it is, being trapped in the wind like a prisoner in Alcatraz! It is to laugh, it is to laugh!!! I wish I brought my broom when I went outside. I coulda got myself out of this mess in record time! Instead, I had to rely on my feet to beat the wind! Some idea that was!!! I tell ya, walkin' kinda stinks sometimes when you're a witch! I wonder if that's why they came up with the idea of flying brooms... man, an hour and twenty-five minutes stuck up here and I'm already missin' my friends, Casper, Hot Stuff, Spooky, Pearl, even the Ghostly Trio and my wicked aunts! Wonder what they're up to, but they're definitely not stuck up in the air in a swirlin', spinnin' gust o'wind, no-sirree-bob! Say, this reminds me of the Wizard of Oz, just a little bit, being stuck in the wind an' all that jazz! In fact, I'm not sure where I am as of now, but I've a feeling I'm not in the Enchanted Forest anymore!!! Hmm, I wonder what Popeye would do in a situation like this...."

Just then, the wind stopped. Wendy looked down, sighing with relief after finding that it was all over. "Phew." However, this wasn't the LAST of her troubles!! She now was falling at incredible speed, where she was landing was a complete mystery to her. Sufferin' sorcery!, she thought. Now I'm plummetin' at astonishing speed! I wonder where I'll land, but I hope the ground is soft like a mattress. I'll get out my trusty wand and make a spell to make sure. Aw, on second thought, maybe not. I'd like to see where I'll land without relying on my magic to help me. Any minute now, I'll land safely on the ground. Any minute now... any minute now..." And then, she finally crash landed on some ground, and just as she hoped, the ground was soft. "Bless my broomstick," she exclaimed, "I've landed on some snow! Say, I wonder where I am..." After shaking some snow off of her face, she saw a sign right before her eyes:

NORTH POLE

(Freezing, isn't it?)

"Wow!", she whispered to herself, "I'm in the North Pole! Of all places to land! Cold as it is, I love it! The aurora borealis, the wildlife, and best of all, Santa Claus!!! In fact, I think I'll take in the sights for a little while. Mebbe I can find something interestin' along the way!"

And, boy, will she will! And what, pray tell, precisely is the interesting little something our heroine'll find? Stay tuned, gang, until the next episode, "Claus and Effect", or "Snow Time for Jokes"! Bye for now!

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Previously on The Misadventures of Casper and Wendy, our favorite good little witch found herself swept up in a gust of wend-I mean wind (yes, we used this joke before, but the script requires me to run it into the ground as much as possible), which transported her to the North Pole, home of Santa Claus, the aurora borealis, and freezing cold weather! Sadly, however, no steamed hams that we know of.

 

...Oh, come on. In this day and age, the words aurora borealis will be associated with that meme. We had to make the joke sooner or later.

 

Anyways! Wendy, lost in the freezing cold of the North Pole, seeks a warm place to spend the day...night...whatever. What she finds, however, is something she kinda-sorta-never expected…

 

What is this secret? And how will it affect Wendy? Find out, in…

 

Claus and Effect

 

Or,

 

Snow Time For Jokes!

 

Wendy, our favorite good little witch, had been wandering the North Pole for some hours, trying to find a place to get warm. Well, that, and admiring the scenery. “It’s certainly beautiful,” she observed. “But I don’t have time to sit back and watch the Northern Lights or have a bottle of Coca-Cola with those polar bears!” A nearby family of said bears, who were drinking the aforementioned soda pop, stared at her, rather offended. Noticing this, Wendy blushed in embarrassment. “Sorry, didn’t mean to word it that way!” the little witch apologized.

 

“...’S all good, bruh!” the youngest replied. “We get it, ya gotta find a place to keep warm! The cold’ll kill ya if you stay out here!”

 

“No kidding!” Wendy replied as she continued trudging through the snow. “Mebbe I’ll share a Coke with you guys some other time!”

 

“Promise?” the bear asked.

 

“Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a hypodermic needle in my eye!” she replied. “See ya!”

 

“See ya!” the entire family replied as the good little witch continued onwards.

 

Meanwhile, back in the Enchanted Forest, Casper, our favorite friendly ghost, was wandering the Enchanted Forest, looking for Wendy. Calling her name, he soon came across his cousin Spooky, a ghost similar in appearance to Casper, but with a small black nose and a derby hat. He was floating near a tree stump, a plate of hamburgers and a glass of milk on top of it.

“Heya, Casper!” he greeted, his Brooklyn (or New York, whatever) accent thick.

 

“Hey, Spooky.” Casper replied, momentarily distracted by the hamburgers. As he reached for one, Spooky promptly slapped his hand away.

 

“Those steamed hams are for Santa, ya hear?!” the self-proclaimed ‘Tuff Little Ghost’ growled. “No touching!”

 

“...One.” Casper deadpanned. “Those are called hamburgers. How many times do we have to say that? Two, Santa eats cookies and milk. Three, Santa isn’t coming. It isn’t December yet.”

 

“Yes it is.” Spooky fired back. “See?” He then, out of nowhere, pulled a calendar from some sort of hammerspace. It appeared to be December 24th, as evidenced by the circle drawn around the date in question.

 

“...Oh! Well, gee...I haven’t gotten the uncles anything! What do I do?!” Casper said, his train of thought quite literally derailing. Spooky shrugged.

 

“Can’t help you there, cuz. Say, where’s Wendy? You and her usually do goody-good stuff right about now.” Immediately, Casper’s train of thought got back on track, remembering what he’d been doing before.

 

“I don’t know. I was gonna ask if you’d seen her.” Casper replied.

 

Spooky pondered this. “Hmmm...now that you mention it, I did notice a gust of wind earlier.”

 

“...What does that have to do with…” Casper began, Spooky continuing with his observation.

 

“Gusts of wind and witches are like magnets and metal, dummy! Don’tcha get it? The gust of wind musta carried Wendy far away someplace!” Somehow, Casper noted, this strange logic was making more and more sense the more he thought about it. He and Wendy had encountered strange things before, so why should this have been any different? The question was, where could she have gone?

 

“Certainly not to the Land of Oz, that’s for dang sure.” the friendly ghost muttered under his breath.

 

MEANWHILE, SOME 30 MINUTES LATER…

 

Wendy, now so deep in snow that only her hood...hat...thing...could be seen, could eventually see bright yellowish-orange lights from beneath all the layers of frost. I was right!, she thought happily. Santa’s workshop is here! I better get inside before I freeze and turn into a snow-witch! Soon enough, she could see the workshop more clearly: it was some sort of massive log cabin/industrial factory hybrid, decorated in bright red and green colors. The massive chimney puffed out white steam, the machines within having worked like clockwork for hundreds of years. Shivering, Wendy knocked at the door softly, only to be greeted by Mrs. Claus. “Oh, you poor dear. Come inside for some milk and cookies by the fire, would you? You must be freezing!”

 

“Thanks much!” Wendy replied, walking in and getting herself settled in. As she filled her belly with fresh cookies (she could have as much as she wanted, but humbly declined), Mrs. Claus had asked who she was and why she had come to the North Pole. “Well, Mrs. C, I didn’t come here on my own. I was sucked up by a gust of wind.”

 

“That isn’t very surprising.” Mrs. Claus replied. “Magic works in mysterious ways.”

 

“It really does.” Wendy replied. “How’s your husband?” Immediately, Mrs. Claus let out a sigh.

 

“I’m sorry to say, but he isn’t feeling well. A rather bad cold, you see.” she explained. “This isn’t a problem normally, everyone gets sick.”

 

“Of course, but why’d you say this isn’t normally a problem?” Wendy asked, her tone slightly confused. “Something the matter, ma’am?”

 

“Unfortunately, yes.” Mrs. Claus replied, getting up and walking to the nearby calendar. “It’s Christmas Eve, and we may have to cancel for the first time ever.”

 

Immediately, Wendy was caught off guard. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute...it’s Christmas?! But it isn’t snowing in the Enchanted Forest right now!”

 

“That is because,” Mrs. Claus reminded her. “The Enchanted Forest doesn’t experience the same passage of seasons as the rest of the world.”

 

“Oh, right.” Wendy replied. “Anyways, you can’t cancel Christmas! You just can’t! Think about the millions of people around the world!” Mrs. Claus realized that the little witch had a point. The religious and secular alike needed a reason to celebrate Christmas; despite all the gifts and consumerism, the holiday was still about family. And what better way for families to gather than with gifts?

 

“I suppose you’re right, Wendy. But who will deliver all the gifts? I certainly can’t do it, I have to take care of Nicholas.”

 

Wendy put a finger to her chin, her eyes darting upward and to the right in thought. “Hmmm...mebbe I could do it! I’m the Good Little Witch, after all!”

 

Mrs. Claus considered this for a while, but then nodded in acceptance. “Well, I suppose you can. You’ve done many good deeds in the past, Wendy. This will be a walk in the park for you. I’m certain of it.”

 

“Thanks, Mrs. Claus!” Wendy said. “Mind if my good buddy Casper joins me? He and I are inseparable!”

 

“Of course.” she said. “I can get you back home easily. Once you and Casper return, I’ll give you the sleigh and then the delivery can begin.”

 

“Alrighty then! Let’s do this!” Wendy replied, and poof, she was back in the Enchanted Forest. By coincidence, she had appeared nearby Casper and Spooky. Casper hugged her in joy, and she did the same for him. Spooky feigned disgust, calling it “mushy”, but Casper and Wendy laughed it off. After a minute or two, Wendy explained the entire situation to Casper, who was understandably worried. “Will ya join me, best pal of mine?” she asked.

 

“You know it!” Casper said, taking her hand.

 

“Next stop: the North Pole!” Wendy declared, she and Casper flying off.



 

Next time, on “The Misadventures of Casper and Wendy”!:

 

Casper and Wendy arrive at the North Pole, where they begin their mission to deliver the world’s Christmas presents. However, this won’t be easy for the duo...probably because a certain Grinch has his eyes on stopping them in their tracks! Can they evade his Seussian schemes and bring joy to everyone in time?

 

Find out next time, in…

 

“How the Good Little Witch Saved Christmas!

 

Or,

 

Christmissing the Mark!”

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Previously on The Misadventures of Casper and Wendy: 

After wandering the North Pole for several hours, our favorite good little witch, after a brief encounter with some soda-endorsing polar bears and inevitably finding herself stuck under a pile of snow, found the end of her troubles when fate brought her to Santa’s Workshop, only to find out that the jolly old elf hisself had a slight cold, and that (gasp) Christmas might be cancelled!! Wendy, being the good little witch she is, volunteered to deliver the gifts to the children of the world, as long as her buddy Casper tagged along. Shortly after, Wendy poofed her way back to the Enchanted Forest to tell her amigo the news, and the friendly ghost agreed, and on their way they flew to the North Pole, on their mission to deliver presents to the tykes of the world. What’s Wendy’s big plan to save Christmas? Will they succeed?? And more importantly, how’s a certain Grinch gonna fit into all of this??? Find out, campers, in:

 

How the Good Little Witch Saved Christmas!”

 

or

 

“Christmissing the Mark!”

 

 

 

When we last left our heroes, they were just flying en route to the North Pole to begin their mission of delivering the world’s Christmas presents. “You sure this is the way to the North Pole”, Casper asked, scratching his head in confusion. “It’s so cloudy it’s hard to see the ground from up here! Where are we, Planet Bespin? And what’s up with those lights way over there, those the Northern Lights or somethin’?”,  “That, good buddy,” Wendy cheerfully said, pointing at said lights, “…is Santa’s Workshop!” “Sweet!!”, Casper replied. “So, where we gonna land?” “Y’see that big ol’ cloud over there?”, the little witch asked, pointing to a cloud not too far from where they were. “We’re gonna fly right through there, and then come in for a landin’ on the ground below. From there we walk for a few miles in the snow ’til we get to the workshop.” “You don’t mean—“ Casper replied, shocked. “In all that frost and snow?” Wendy shook her head. “Naw! We’re just gonna fly straight through that other cloud, and when we land, I’ll tell you the plan. Fortunately for you, my ectoplasmic acquaintance, it’s only a short walk ’til we get to our destination.”, she said. “You know, Wendy,” Casper chuckled. “You’re a great kidder.” Wendy blushed. “Thanks, ol’ buddy.”, she replied.

 

Eventually, as they reached the aforementioned cloud, Wendy gave Casper a little heads up. “Comin’ in for a landing, good buddy! Hold on tight, because the ground might be a trifle icy!”, she announced. “Oh, and when we land, please stay with me, because with your white skin, you might get hard to locate if we get separated. ‘kay?”, she continued, cocking her head. “10-4, good buddy!”, Casper replied. “Er- 10-4?”, asked Wendy, in a confused tone of voice. “It’s CB radio lingo for ‘message received’. Y’know, the kind of radios truckers use?” “Ah,” Wendy replied. “By the way, Casper,” she continued. “How do you know about CB radios? I’ve heard of ‘em, never used one.” “Spooky has one of ‘em portable CB’s back home, and he lets me use it sometimes. When we’re done with our mission, I can show ya how to use one of ‘em!” “Schweet,” happily replied Wendy. Just as their little convoy-sation (heh! Convoy-sation! Convoy, like a truck “convoy!” Conversation! Now, that there’s a gag, son- a joke, that is! Get it, boy? OK, I’ll stop.) had ended, they had landed in the icy tundra that was the North Pole.

 

“Well, my ghostly buddy,” Wendy cheerfully informed. “We’ve landed! Like I said, it’s only a short walk through all this snow ’til we get to Santa’s workshop. Oh, and if you need any refreshments, I know some polar bears just ahead who’ll gladly offer some.” “Well, I am rather famished,” Casper said. “After all that flying, I’m so hungry, I could eat six grocery stores flat! And maybe a couple of farmers’ markets, too!” 

 

Just then, a voice sounding like your stereotypical surfer dude was heard, definitely not belonging to Keanu Reeves or Alex Winter. “Hey, little girl!”, the voice called, referring to Wendy. “Huh?”, Wendy asked, in confusion. “Who was that? That voice sounded strangely familiar, but I don’t know where I heard it… was it in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, or…” The voice chuckled. “Definitely not one of those righteous time travelin’ dudebrahs, Blondie! Like, remember us, brah?”

 

Wendy turned around. It was the three polar bears she met earlier. “Oh, it’s you guys!”, she said. “Greetings, brah, and friend!”, the youngest said. “Who’s your friend, by the way?”, he continued, pointing his paw at Casper. “And have we been properly introduced? Like, it’s only the most polite thing to do when you’ve met somebody new!” “No, we have not,” Wendy replied. “I’m Wendy, and this is Casper,” she continued, pointing her thumb at her best friend. “It’s a most righteous pleasure to meet the two of you.”, the bear replied. “Like, couldn’t overhear that your friend needed something to tide him over! We got just the thing!”  One minute later, the polar bear got out two bottles of Coca-Cola (if they weren’t fortunate enough to have that deal with Coke, our heroes would just have to go ice fishing for some fi-er, grub— ecch!). “Like, drink this, Jackson! It’ll send your tastebuds on a most triumphant journey!” “Okay, Bear E. White,” Casper said. “You’ve talked me into it.” And he took a sip of the Coke. “M-m-m-m,” he mmm’d. “Tastes good!” “Well, we do call it ‘the Pause that Refreshes’, don’t we, boys?”, the bear enthusiastically said, calling to his brethren. “Yeah, man!”, the other two bears shouted in unison. 

 

After a half-hour’s worth of conversing and Coke-sharing, our heroes bid adieu to their furry friends. “Say, Casper,” Wendy asked of her best friend. “You wanna hear my plan to save Christmas”?” “Lay it on me gently, Wend!”, Casper enthusiastically replied. “Alrighty then!”, the little witch said. “Listen up, ‘coz this plan’s a loo-loo! Doozy, that is!” She conjured up a drawing board with her wand, and on it, a series of sketches illustrating her ideas. “Now, you see this first drawing, ol’ chum?”, she asked, pointing to one such sketch with her wand. “Yep,” her friend nodded. “Just in case Santa’s reindeer caught cold, you’re gonna act as my reindeer, knowing your flying abilities.”  “Cool, do go on,” he politely responded. “See this next picture?”, she continued. “Now, since Christmas starts on midnight, we’ll have to race against time to deliver trillions of presents to every little kid in the world. Fortunately for the two of us, we’ve got ample time! ’Tis only 1 PM, 12 noon in Enchanted Forest time, so thankfully this won’t be like in the movies, where it’s a race against time to… well, you get my drift.”

 

“Er- Wendy?”, asked Casper in a confused tone of voice. “I know this questions sounds rather cliche, but…” “Ask away, Casper!” Wendy replied. “How exactly are we gonna deliver millions of presents to every Tom, Dick, and Larry in the world?” “Simple!”, Wendy energetically replied. “You see this next drawing? Well, that’s the answer to that very question. With my magic, I can slow down time, but not the way you’re probably thinking, dearest acquaintance. What I mean is, I can slow down the day so it’ll seem longer! Besides, this is a fictional work we’re starring in, so time often doesn’t pass by as it does in real life, so it won’t make much difference.” “I tell you, Casper,” she continued. “This plan’s going to be a success! It’s completely foolproof, too! Besides, good buddy, it’s not like a certain miserable, Christmas-hating curmudgeon is watching us at his lair while we speak, and is set on ruining our plans to save the Holidays! Oh, and if that ever happens, I'll just... well, just in case, I'll tell you later."

 

Oh, YEAH?!! Well, that’s what you think, Wendy! At this very moment, at his lair on the peak of a  tall, dark, forbidding, and all-around spooky Mount Rainbow Sprinkles (don’t ask me why it’s called that! Frankly, I don’t know at all! All I know is the elves chose that name, the naive midgets…), a certain Christmas-loathing bah-humbug-type fella was ever so diligently listening in on our heroes’ plans— THE GRINCH- NOW, WAIT JUST A COTTON-PICKIN’, SHOE-SHININ’ MINUTE!!

 

Reader, I know what you’re thinking right about now: “Say, Mr. Narrator, didn’t the Grinch reform by the end of the book?” Well, yes- and no! Allow me to elucidate, faithful reader! Y’see, as you know the Grinch, after realizing that the Whos down in Whoville still celebrated Christmas, even though he stole all their presents, decorations, Roast Beast, yadda-yadda, suddenly reformed, and his heart grew three sizes— oh yeah, right, you know all that. Well, as you know, he started to actually enjoy the holiday season! He always stocked up on holiday decorations, and thus made his Mt. Crumpit the envy of all of Whoville! Plus, odd as it would seem, the Whos  actually started to like the Grinch! Every year they’d give him this big party celebrating the anniversary of his reform, and give him all sorts of presents, and then, one day, when the Grinch was minding his own business, picking himself a tree for the holiday season. As soon as he was about to bring his tree home- WHAM!!- another tree knocked him cold to the ground- and so, he reverted back to his old Grinchy self, *insert snapping of fingers here* just like that. In fact, he took his faithful pooch Max and traveled to the North Pole, moved into a swell new mountain, and plotted to ruin Christmas once and for all, and today would have been his lucky day- if only a certain good little witch and friendly ghost weren’t in the picture.

 

“Curses, drat,

Phooey, rats!”, he complained to his dog.

 

“I thought today was gonna be a great day for me

And I’d be happy as a Bristle-Topped Gazee!

I had heard that Santa was ill

And Cristmas was to be cancelled, what a thrill!

Instead, those nuisance kids decided to butt in

And volunteered to save its metaphorical bacon!

I must stop them, but how?”

 

The Grinch thought for a moment, and suddenly, he had an idea- an awful idea (sounds pretty familiar, doesn’t it?), and immediately shared it to his pet.

 

“A-ha! I got it, and I absolutely must tell you now!”

 

He then whispered in Max’s ear his devious plan, and then said to himself this:

“My scheme’s a doozy, it’s a honey, it’s a pip!

It’s definitely a good one, but immediately word mustn’t slip!

I’ll stop those two lickety-split

Or my name, which it ain’t, isn’t Jiminy Cricket!”

 

 

What exactly is the Grinch’s evil plan? Will our heroes be able to foil his diabolical scheme? *gulp!* Will Christmas be saved? Find out in the next episode, entitled:

 

“Wouldn't It Sleigh You?”

 

or

 

“Eve of Destruction!”

Edited by Wendy the Witch
Tweaked slightly.
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Previously on The Misadventures of Casper and Wendy…

 

Last time you remember, our favorite good little witch returned to the icy landscape of the North Pole; this time taking with her best friend in the whole world (like you didn’t know who this was already), Casper; to carry out her epic plans to save Christmas! (cliche plot, I know… buuuttttt…) She’s revealed some of her ideas already, but wait! There’s more to come from this little witch’s creative mind, and boy, does she has some rather amazing ideas, just you wait and see!

 

Of course, it won’t be easy for heroes. Inevitably, in these kinds of stories, there has to be a villain, a real nasty, wicked-type character whose motive is to stop the hero from doing their hero-y things, that fiend who wants to see their nemesis either powerless and weak as a kitten, their obedient slave, or both. And who could be fitting to play the role of that cruel, heartless monster of a fellow who won’t stop at nothing to prevent our heroes from completing their momentous task? Why, the Grinch, of course! And, as you’d might expect, even though he reformed a long, long time ago, he’s reverted back to his old, holiday-hating self, and he’s been waiting for a year like this, with no Christmas, no gift-giving, no obnoxious carolers, and Santa sick in bed. And the Grinch, being a Christmas-despising grump of a Grinch, has looked forward to a Yuletide of sheer bliss, knowing nobody’ll have the ol’ holiday spirit this time around, that nobody’ll get any spiffy presents this year. Oh, yeah?!! That’s that he thought! Unfortunately for him (and fortunately for us), a certain witch has offered to play that time-honored role of jolly ol’ toymaker this year, and our Grinchy friend simply won’t stand for it! He’s devised a great scheme to ruin the holidays for everyone, not just the Whos down in Whoville, but for the whole world, too! And will he succeed? Patience, boy! You’ll find that out in the next chapter! 

 

Anyways, what’re these ingenious ideas that our favorite witch (sorry Shakespeare fans) will come up with? What’s her ectoplasmic friend’s opinion on ‘em? Does the Grinch still display a bit of heart, even tho’ he reformed at the end of the special? Are there ANY steamed hams in the North Pole? And what about Naomi? The answer to these burning questions (except maybe that last one…), and more, in…

 

“Wouldn’t It Sleigh You?”

 

or

 

“Eve of Destruction!”

 

 

When we last left our heroes, Wendy was discussing to Casper her plans to save the holidays, and to give the world a Christmas after all, full’a presents and all that good stuff.

 

“Wow!”, Casper exclaimed. “Your plan sounds great, Wend! Positively marvy! If there’s any more to this wonderful plan of yours, I’m all ears!”

 

“Fret not, mon petit frere,” Wendy said. “There’s plenty more to that wonderful plan of mine. Just gimme a sec.”

 

And then, our witchy friend started thinking. She thought real hard, crafting ideas to add to her already splendid ideas for her plan,. And then, suddenly *BING!*, the fertile mind of Wendy hatched a real gem of an idea! Actually, several gems of ideas! And she just had to share them with her friend.

 

“I HAVE IT!!”, she shouted, jumping up and down like a kangaroo that had too much coffee.

 

“Frostbite?”, Casper asked, chuckling at his own joke.

 

“No, silly goose!”, the little witch said with a grin. “Some real great ideas that’ll really save the holidays, and when I carry out this real Jim Dandy of a plan, nothing’ll stop us!”

 

“Awesome! Can I hear ‘em?”, the ghost asked.

 

“Of course!”, the little witch replied with a smile. And she walked over to Casper and started whispering to him her ideas. And with every new idea she revealed, Casper’s eyes widened until they were as big as saucers, and a great big smile grew on his face until it overlapped just abour the rest of his face. And when she was done describing her ingenious plan, our favorite friendly ghost just couldn’t contain his enthusiasm and support for such an endeavor.

 

“Wendy, have you ever thought of giving up witchery for geology?”, Casper deadpanned, with the most seriously serious expression on his face.

 

“Eh?”, Wendy asked, confused by her buddy’s seemingly out-of-the-blue question. “Casper, you’ve been my best friend for a really long time! Why would you possibly think I’d give up being a witch for some other trade? You know that I like being a witch! (Don’t believe that song those beatnik ghosts over at Ye Olde Record Shoppe made for me, good buddy, they barely know a thing about me! It’s got a good beat, I could dance to it, but the lyrics just aren’t me! ) Anyway, why would you think such a thing? Has the tundra air made you go loopy?”

 

“No, Wendy,” the friendly ghost reassured. “The reason for that rather peculiar query is simple: it’s because those ideas of yours ROCK!!! I may have said this before, but you’re a genius! Those ideas of yours are perfect! The definition of brilliance! Foolproof, even!! Nothing’ll stop us, not even the Grinch, and he reformed at the end of the book! Why, unlike the best-laid plans of a certain coyote who claims to be a super-genius, but really has a super ego, there’s no way your plans’ll go awry! They’re perfecto! Groovy! Fantastic! Wunderbar! And a bunch’a other synonyms, too! We’ll be history! Why, someone could even write a song about us!! Wait’ll the Trio hears about this! Or better yet, they’ll get a real pleasant surprise when they try to catch Santa this year! Hee!”

 

As her good buddy let out this hurricane of compliments, all our witchy friend could do was blush ’til her face turned almost as red as her outfit. “Tee-hee!! Why, thank you, Casper! Heh-heh,” she said modestly. “I knew you’d love ‘em, buddy! Now, let’s mosey over on to Santa’s workshop and SAVE! CHRISTMAS!”, she continued, mood changing from modest to triumphant.

 

All the while, the Grinch was putting the finishing touches on his sinister plans to steal the holidays once again.

 

“Heh-heh! And ho-ho!”, he gloated.

“If I can just finish this project in time, those plans of those two kids’ll be a no-go!

For t’ree years I’ve lived on this gloomy peak

Although the name of this mountain of naiveté reeks

Forever and a day I’ve been hoping and praying for a year like this one

And looking forward to a holiday of rest and fun

And if I don’t dawdle, if I don’t even think of procrastination

I can carry out my master plan of holiday termination

My masterpiece, my magnum opus, if I should call it that

And look forward to seeing billions of souls go from glad to sad at the drop of a hat

Soon, there won’t be any Christmas, no carols, no fancy cards, 

No more sappy gifts appreciating folks’ loving hearts,

No more cringey stop-motion specials, no more Christmas spirit

And if anyone calls me to bring back the holidays, I’d rather not hear it!!

NYA-HA-HA!

and MWA-HA-HA!”

 

While the Grinch was busy gloating, our heroes were getting ready to make holiday history. As they were strolling to Santa’s workshop, Casper thought he heard something odd.

 

“Er, Wendy?”, the ghost asked Wendy, tapping her on the shoulder. “Did you hear someone laughing, er… maniacally? Sounded like it came from the tippy-top of that gloomy looking mountain,” he continued, pointing at said mountain. “Probably just the wind,” replied the witch reassuringly. “I’ve heard the North wind makes some real strange noises sometimes.” “Maybe you’re right,” Casper replied, but sounding a bit concerned. “But I’ve got a funny feelin’ that there’s something real awful going on up there.”

 

Right you are, Casper! Right you are!

 

 

Approx. 20 minutes later of braving the frigid vastness of the North Pole, plus taking photos of the scenery, our supernatural best of friends finally made to their destination.

 

“Well,” the good witch said with a smile on her face. “Here we are! The end of our journey, Santa’s workshop! Oh, and hey look!,” she observed, “there’s good ol’ Mrs. C., and she’s got the sleigh ready!”

 

“Hello, Wendy,” Mrs. Claus said, waving to our witchy friend. Wendy waved back, wearing a big smile, obviously showing her high hopes for this endeavor. “Hey, Mrs. C. Well, I’m back- and this,” she said, referring to Casper, “is my friend Casper that I told you about. Now, before you turn white as a sheet, simmer down! Sure, my best pal’s a ghost, but he’s a real friendly one! He won’t scare the you-know-what out of you or any of those other stereotypical ghost things either. So relax, ma’am, re-lax!”

 

“Oh, that’s a relief,” Mrs. Claus replied, sounding rather relieved. “I’ve gotten out the sleigh for you two to carry out your mission,” she continued. “But I must warn you, this might be a tough assignment! There’s a, as you kids might say, (do you still say that?) real no-goodnik by the name of the Grinch who came here a long while ago, and he abhors Christmas! He’s a clever beast, that Grinch, and he just might try and foil your plans!”

 

“Oh, pshaw!”, the little witch reassured. “I’ve cooked up a real keen plan that’ll really make sure all those boys and girls (and mebbe a few adults, too!) will all get their presents! I tell you, just when they think there won’t be any Christmas, just wait’ll they look up and see this little ol’ magic sleigh zooming through the atmosphere, delivering all sorts of spiffy toys ’n’ gifts by the millions! They’ll feel like a little boy all alone in a Toys ‘R’ Us! Guaranteed.”

 

“That sounds wonderful,” Mrs. C. responded. “Good luck, Wendy and Casper! And don’t forget to come back when you’re done!! Oh, and here’re the keys to the sleigh.”

 

And so, after tying Casper to the sleigh so he could really be Wendy’s personal reindeer for this particular venture, our heroes were ready to save Christmas (plus, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa, and Festivus, and whatever other similar holidays in other countries I’m forgetting!).

 

“Ready, Casper, buddy-boy?”, asked Wendy? “You know it,” happily replied her ghost pal, giving her a thumbs up. “Alrighty then,” continued Wendy confidently. “Let’s go and save Christmas, Hanukkah, Festivus and all those other holidays, too!”

 

And away-y-y they went, ready to go down in history.

 

 

 

 

Next time on The Misadventures of Casper and Wendy:

 

Our heroes carry out their mission of delivering the world’s presents, but alas and alack, it won’t all be cake and ice cream for Casper and Wendy! The Grinch, as you know, has concocted his own diabolical plan to ruin the holidays, and you’ll get to see that in action, plus Wendy’s master plan to save the holidays. Plus, maybe you’ll see some very special guests show up on the Pacific Princess for an hour of intrigue and romance on… darn it, that’s all wrong! Sorry, I’ve been watching a lot of The LOOOOOVE BOOOAAAAATTTTT!!!! lately. Anyways! You’ll be seeing a very special guest or two or maybe even three in the conclusion to our Witchmas special, plus the answers to several burning questions like: are there steamed hams in the North Pole? Will the Ghostly Trio get anything this year, or will they be getting a big ol’ lump of coal like they always do? And where’s my toasted bagel at? I had it a second ago… Anyway, all of this (and more) will be found in the thrilling conclusion to our Witchmas special:

 

 

“Present Tense”

 

or

 

“A Grinch in Time!”

Edited by Wendy the Witch

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Previously on The Misadventures of Casper and Wendy:

 

Our favorite witch had just revealed the rest of her epic plan to save the holidays to Casper, and boy! Did he like every bit of it. Our villainous friend, the Grinch? He didn’t hear any of it, but whatever’s coming his way, he probably won’t like it one bit! Then again, maybe he will, who knows? Anyway, our duo has just started on their mission, and of course, like I said, it won’t be all cake and ice cream! Or will it? Pretty much anything’s possible when you’ve got someone like Wendy for a friend (same with Mary Poppins, but this literature isn’t about that practically perfect nanny!). Oh, and did I say “very special guests”? Sorry, my bad. Again, I’ve been watching too many Love Boat and variety shows from the 70s. I’m a mite distracted for a narrator, aren’t I? Anyway, what will our boo-tiful duo find themselves facing on their quest to make billions of people around the world happy? And what’s the Grinch’s villainous plan to ruin the holidays like? Find out in the conclusion to our “Witchmas” special:

 

 

“Present Tense”

 

or

 

“A Grinch in Time”

 

 

 

 

When we last left our heroes, they had just started on their epic journey to save the holidays. And, since they hadn’t hit their first stop yet, kind of conversing about some rather serious matters.

 

“Oh, gee,” muttered Casper, with a thoughtful expression on his ghostly white face.

 

“What’s the matter?”, asked Wendy, naturally concerned about what was wrong with her friend. “Please tell me you don’t like being my reindeer.”

 

“S’not that,” reassured the friendly ghost. “Y’see, I’ve been thinking, and I still don’t know what to give to my uncles. Even though it’s hard living with three ghosts who only care about booing and scaring and perfecting their…er… art, and always egging on me to go on one of their scare raids, but deep down, they still care about me and my safety. They really deserve something for that, but I don’t know what! And, although I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I feel… kind of sorry for those meanies. Every year they camp out in front of the fireplace, hoping to trap Santa and help themselves to the toys in his pack, and every year, for doing so, you know what they get?”

 

“A big box full’a lumps of coal?”, guessed the little witch.

 

“AACCCKKKK!”, answered back Casper, imitating a buzzer like you’d hear on a game show. “No! Nein! Good guess, but incorrect! They keep getting NOTHING! NOTHING!!!”, saying “nothing” in a half-decent impression of Gene Wilder as a certain magical candy-maker, need we say who?

 

He continued his tale:

 

 

Except for maybe a note from the big guy urging them to be good, which they’ll probably never do, even though I talked them into trying to at least a couple of times. And even if they tried being good like me, they always revert back to their usual nasty selves! And still, I give them presents, but it’s usually stuff I like, in hopes that they’ll become more like me, although for once I’d like to give ‘em something they like, if there’s anything they like other than booing and being just plain mean and jerky! Surely there must be other things they like, but I can’t think of any at the moment. Any recollection of their other likes, if any, has seemingly been erased out of my mind for the time being. Could you help me out, Wendy?”

 

“Y’know,” replied the good little witch, but still trying to focus on driving the sled, “there is one thing I’ve got in mind for them! We can give it to them when we reach our last stop: home.”

 

“Awesome!”, the ghost replied, giving Wendy the thumbs-up.

 

While they were talking, Wendy heard a rather suspicious noise. She wasn’t sure of it, but it kind of sounded like… laughter??

 

“Ho-ho-ho!”, laughed the laugh, a category 10 if it could be measured on the laughter scale.

 

Eh? the witch thought. That’s peculiar. Could it be that Santa’s… no! That can’t be! I’d better take a look to see what’s up. I suspect something real suspicious is going on!

 

She turned around, converting her wand to telescope mode so she could see if anything came up, and indeed something did! And what she saw was something she never thought it could possibly be!

 

At first, it was kind of hard to see, but as it came closer into view, exactly what it was could be seen in a way that the little witch could see everything. It was a rather old-looking sleigh, one that obviously looked like it was in a bit of disrepair. Instead of a pack of reindeer pulling it, there was a little dog wearing antlers, obviously not liking this job. He looks like he’d rather be flirting with Lassie or some cute poodle to me, Wendy thought. And the little old driver piloting this ratty old rig? It wasn’t Santa at all, but someone in a Santa costume! A tall looking fella, with a sinister expression covering his furry green face. Yep, you guessed correctly, dear reader: t’was the Grinch!

 

Wendy was surprised by the whole thing. What th’, she thought. Is that the Grinch driving that old klunker of a sleigh? I thought he was fictional, created for that book, which; incidentally, was made into a really good animated version in the 60s. Anyway, this can’t be! And from that I’m seeing, I take it he’s *gulp!* been eavesdropping on us an’ has been plotting to ruin the holidays once again? This is awful! I’d better tell Casper!

 

She converted her wand back to wand mode and turned back around to tell her friend the news.

 

“Say, Casper!”, Wendy asked of our favorite friendly ghost. “You know the Grinch, right?”

 

“Of course I do, Wend,” replied Casper. “Tall green fella who lived on Mt. Crumpit with a heart two sizes too small, despised the holidays, tried to stop Christmas from coming, but in the end reformed and realized what the holidays are really about?”

 

“Yup,” replied the good little witch. “Turns out, he wasn’t just fiction! He’s *gulp* real!”

 

“Wow! Really? Can we stop to get an autograph, or…?” enthusiastically replied her ghostly friend.

 

“No way!”, sternly said Wendy. “This is no time for autographs! Why, he probably doesn’t know about the book or that cartoon adaption of said book! He’s right behind us, and it seems like the rotten character’s been eavesdropping on us and has made it his mission to stop us from saving th’ holidays!”

 

NO!!!”, exclaimed Casper, who naturally was concerned about all this.

 

“Yeah!”, replied the good little witch. “And are we going to let him steal Christmas again? No! We’ll foil his plans once and for all! We’ll show him what happens when someone like him tangles with this little witch and this friendly ghost from the Enchanted Forest! And that’s where my plan’ll kick in!”

“Yeah!” replied Casper. “That plan of yours’ll really foil his attempts to stop us cold in our tracks!”

 

“And by Christmas morn,” added Wendy, “he won’t know what hit him! He’ll be seein’ more stars than in Hollywood, and certainly more than that time we accidentally fell off th’ stage into that empty ball pit when we explored that abandoned pizza arcade a couple months ago… but now’s not the time for recollection of animatronic cows turned evil or anything like that! We’ve got to concentrate on saving the holidays! For all those countless billions in dire need of some good cheer!”

 

“A-men!” chimed in Casper. “For everyone, kids, adults, and even the little animals, around the world!”

 

“That’s right, best pal o’mine!” replied Wendy.

 

Just as they were done talking, that rotten jalopy we laughingly refer to as a “sleigh” swiftly (as swiftly as this thing could!) moved right next to our heroes. And there was the Grinch, devious expression on his face, and he slowly got out of his obviously very uncomfortable seat.

 

“Agh, my butt! I should’ve adjusted this seating!” he muttered, among a few other things.

“Because it’s giving my butt such an awful beating.”

 

While he was busy trying to get out of his seat, complaining about his butt, Casper and Wendy just laughed like crazy at him.

 

Five minutes of non-stop laughter later (yes, it was THAT hilarious…), he was finally off his seat and was kind of sitting on the side of the door to his sled.

 

“Well, hello there, er… ah…”, he said in a deep voice that sounded kind of Santa-like, but barely fooled Wendy one bit.

 

He stopped to think for a second. 

“Just what are the names of those two kids taking over for Santy?

I’d just love to hang their keisters over my mantie!”, he said to himself.

 

“Ah! Never mind the names!

What matters that I’ll deprive those goody-good microbes of their holiday fortune and fame!”

 

“Salutations, er… Lisa and Elroy?

Lulu and John-Boy?”

 

All Casper and Wendy could do was stare at our villain, unamused looks on their faces.

 

Wendy facepalmed.

 

Seriously? He’s been eavesdropping on us and still he doesn’t remember our names? she thought.

 

“Wendy and Casper,” the witch corrected in a deadpan voice. “And that isn’t even close to our names!”

 

“Okay, Jasper and, er… Wanda,” the Grinch continued.

 

Close enough, the witch thought, rolling her eyes.

 

“It’s me, dear old Santa Claus, Saint Nick, and I feel like better’n a Tufted Zonda!”

 

Does a creature like that even exist? she thought again.

 

“Why the long faces, kids?”, the Grinch continued, struggling to keep the voice, constantly letting his normal, Karloff-esque voice slip, and gagging and clearing his throat. a bit too, as the voice was a little much for him.

 

“You can go back home, and you… the one in the red suit!

Give yourself the boot

And Ghost-Boy! Go remove yourself from those reins!

While ol’ Santy takes over this gift-giving game!

Go back home!

No more over rooftops, over yards shall you roam!

While I stuff presents in stockings, under trees while the kiddies are asleep in their bids!”

 

Bids? thought Wendy. I don’t dig poetry, except if it’s in th’ form of a magical spell, of course, but is this guy for real?

 

“And by th’ way, just a second quick” the ersatz Santa continued.

“How about a little old gift for old St. Nick?

 

That, Wendy, thought was the perfect time for part of her plan to finally kick in.

 

“Okay, Mr. Claus,” said the good little witch, with an expression on her face which suggested that she had something up her sleeve.

 

“I’ll give you a present, one you’ll remember years and years from now! And it’s a really special one, too!”

 

Naturally, the Grinch thought Wendy and Casper were stupid enough to fall for his schemes, and he thought that she was going to give him a toy or something! And indeed that’s what he’ll be getting- and then some!!

 

Wendy went through Santa’s bag, with a devious expression on her face, and got out a rather nice looking doll. “Here y’go!”, said the witch, still maintaining that expression on her face. “A little doll of your very own! And it’s a talking doll, too! Says 10 different phrases! ‘Hi!’, ‘Change my diaper’, th’ works!”

 

She gave the doll to the Grinch, and he seemed very delighted with the toy, pulling away at the string which made the doll say those 10 different phrases.

“Aw-w-w-w-w! How cute!

She really is a beaut!”

 

“Oh- and ‘Santa’”, she added. “There’s just a li’l something extra that I think you’ll get a real bang out of, heh-heh.”

 

“What is it?”, the Grinch asked.

“A brass knu- er… a toy fire truck?? A baseball mitt?

 

“Shoosh!” said Wendy. “Listen. Just listen.”

 

And she got out her wand, ready to do some serious spell-casting.

 

Good white spirits, dearly I implore

Make that old sleigh fly no more!”

 

And in a twinkling, the reins holding Max magically snapped, and ZOOM! that jalopy of a sleigh was sent plummeting at great speed towards the ground.

 

And while it was falling, the Grinch still was pulling away at the doll’s string, until it said something rather curious:

“Babbling Bessie will self-destruct in 10 seconds! 10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!”

 

And in a matter of seconds, the doll- and our villain’s sled- went KA-POW!, leaving nothing more than a wrecked sleigh and a charred Grinch and Max, all of which landed softly in the Northern snow. Still….

 

“Oh-h-h-h-h-h!” said the Grinch as he got up. “Methinks the natural rhyming section of my brain has been severely damaged! I could go see a doctor about that, but this is no time for such trivial matters! I’ve just got to stop those two dead in their tracks! But first, I’ve got to get out some anger, afore I start turning red!”

 

“CURSES!!” he angrily shouted, who was now looking his pooch right squarely in the eye. “How were we to know that that doll would explode? That little girl must’ve figured out our dirty work and saw through my cunning disguise! I mean, I’ll admit, I’m not the best actor in the whole world, but that disguise could fool anyone! And how was I to know that she was magic? Is she a fairy or a witch or something from some magical world of magic and happy little elves who live in mushrooms and talking trees? Yeah- that has t’ be it! And if that’s the case…”, he boldly stated, making some sort of revelation that just dawned upon him.

 

“…I’m sunk!” he bawled, just like a baby who just had his candy taken away from him. “There’s no way we could positively do anything to stop that good little witch or fairy… or whatever she is…. from carrying out their task of giving the world their silly little trinkets and toys and such! We just can’t! She’ll be hep to our tricks and my disguises, whatever we do, she’ll be prepared! How can we dupe Little Miss Sunshine and that ghost friend of hers into stopping their task and going home?”

 

Just then, he sighted a unusual group of objects together in a little junk pile: an child’s propellor cap, a unicycle, an old Klaxon horn, and a clown costume.

 

“A strange assortment,” said the Grinch to himself. “But I could use these for something. She’ll probably be hep to our tricks again, but it’s still worth a shot.”

 

Back up in the sky, Casper was busy complimenting Wendy on how she took care of our villainous friend(?).

 

“You did it, Wendy!! You were great there! Truly terrific!”

 

“Aw, gee! Thanks, Casp! I really was, wasn’t I?” replied the witch, blushing.

 

Suddenly, a strange feeling came over her, like a certain someone was up to no good once again, to smeckledorf our heroes into letting him stop Christmas from coming again.

 

And her Spidey… er… Wendy-Sense™ proved right, as both her and Casper saw a really strange sight: was it… a grown man.. or something or other… riding a unicycle, and wearing a propellor cap, tooting an old car horn? In the sky, yet?

 

Where is that fella going, to be a contestant on Let’s Make a Deal?, Casper thought.

 

The figure came closer, until it stopped. T’was the Grinch, once again in another silly disguise.

 

“Hold on thar, missy!”, he drawled, in a voice that kind of sounded like a slightly-lower pitched version of Gomer Pyle’s voice. (Ask your parents!)

 

“Big storm comin’ up in the East! Better go home with all those goodies in your bag so’s yew two’ll be safe! Wouldn’t want those valuables in thar to get sucked up in th’ wind, never t’come back!”

 

Wendy and Casper, once again, weren’t amused. Both of them knew what really was going on, that their nemesis was trying to con them again.

 

“Stand back, ol’ buddy,” the good little witch assured her buddy. “I got this.”

 

She then rummaged through Santa’s bag, looking for just what she wanted to counter her and Casper’s foe once more, until, exactly forty-five seconds later, she found it: an unopened jack in the box, waiting to pop out of its chamber. “Perfect,” she said to herself.

 

She then tapped the shoulder of the ersatz mountain man, Jack held in Wendy’s other hand behind her back.

 

“Er— Mister… ah… what’s your name?”, she asked.

 

“Why, yuh kin jes’ call me Biff,” said the Grinch in that southern drawl of his.

 

“Well, Biff,” Wendy happily replied. “Personally, I think havin’ the good sense of telling me and my friend about some rather imminent-type danger that might threaten our mission really deserves an early Christmas present.”

 

She gave “Biff” the jack in the box, with a smile that seemed very insincere, very rare for this good little witch. “Here y’are!” she beamed.

 

“Gee!” replied the Grinch, now kind of switching back to his regular voice, but mostly still talking in the southern voice . “Thanks! This’ll be a great present for th’ boy!”

 

And then, as he happily winded up the box, giddy at the sight of the present, and mesmerized by every note of the tinkly rendition of “Pop Goes the Weasel” which it played, until… immediately after the final note of the tune played… WAM! Ol’ Jack burst out of there like he was a prisoner escaping from his cell, going and going until it had done just what Wendy wanted it to do: it knocked off the Grinch’s propellor cap clear off his head, sending him, Max, and the unicycle falling to the ground at rapid speed. And once the good little witch heard that distant CRASH! BANG! CLATTER! TINKLE! of a Grinch falling into a junk pile in the middle of the North Pole, a satisfied smile appeared on Wendy’s face.

 

And just then, a voice moaned down below. “I give up! I surrender! Forget it! I’m going back home on Mt. Rainbow Sprinkles!! Carry on with your mission! I’m through! I’m throwin’ in the towel! No more schemes, no more dirty tricks!”. It was the Grinch, waving a white flag.

 

And once she heard that moan, Wendy had an idea. “You know what, Casper,” she said. “It looks like our foe has finally thrown in the ol’ towel! Looks like we’ll be able to carry out our mission unhampered!”

 

“Awesome!”, replied the friendly ghost. “I’d give you a fist bump for doing such a good job, but I’m tied up at the moment!” He then cringed at the awful pun that he just had made.

 

“When we get home, ‘kay?” then said the witch. “But before we really get cracking, let’s go pay a visit to our Grinchy friend! I want to give him a little parting gift before we never see his evil face again!”

 

“Ah!” replied Casper. “What is it? Another of your brilliant ideas to send him packing?”

 

“Naw!” said Wendy, shaking her head. “This time, there’ll be no tricks. This time, I’ll give him a real genuine gift! From the heart, even. When he sees what I’ll give him, he’ll be reduced to tears, and let’s just say we’ll see a part of him that hasn’t been seen in a long time.”

 

Immediately after that, they flew down on their nemesis, who was lying on the ground sitting on that unicycle that he used, which was now all wrecked, with the wheel all misshapen and other unpleasant things like that, but the Grinch was still managing to wave that flag like a pro.

 

“Wal, paint me silver an’ sell me as a flagpole!” exclaimed Wendy, imitating that southern drawl the Grinch used in his disguise as “Biff”. “If it ain’t our ol’ pal Biff! Shore looks like yuh had a real nasty tumble thar! Lemme help yuh up, Biff, ol’ pal, or should ah say, Mr. ‘Holiday Hater’ himself, th’ Grinch!!”

 

“Thought you could stop us from saving the holidays, eh? You, sir, really are a heel!” added Casper. “And those disguises of yours? Stink, stank, stunk!”

 

“Alright, you got me,” moaned the Grinch, his head ringing like a king-size telephone. “For most of my life I’ve despised Christmas! The noise! The senseless cheer and happiness! And one day I decided to move here, to the North Pole, so that could I try and find some way to rid this frigid wasteland of its most famous resident, that jolly old gift-giver himself, Santa Claus! I thought that  if I could get him out of the picture, I could stop Christmas from coming! I could put an end to all of that frivolity and gaiety which permeate the holiday season, because no presents equal no rotten smiling faces, no Christmas! But this year, I got wind that ol’ Nick was sick in bed on account of a nasty cold, which is as good as breaking into his workshop and sending him adrift on an ice floe never to return or something like that! And I decided I’d steal every last Christmas tree and menorah and ornament, even the tiniest, most skinniest branches of holly, and I thought everything was coming up roses for me and Max here! But you two magical goody-good types had to be elected to become Santas for the year, and I could’ve gotten away with my sinister doings if it weren’t for you two meddling kids! Why, if I could I’d arrange to have you two gobbled down by a ravenous polar bear, or stabbed by a walrus, or…”

 

“Whoa, whoa,” interrupted Wendy, shaking her finger. “Let’s not get too bloody! It’d go against the tone of the literature!”

 

“Anyways,” she added, reaching into Santa’s pack, “I get it. You hate the holiday season an awful lot. But I’ve always loved Christmas. The music, the colorful lights, those cartoon specials that come on every year, sipping a cup of hot cocoa by the fireside, sledding down the hills at rapid speed, and, although I’m not talkin’ ya into it, here’s a little present that’ll hopefully change your tune.”

 

And she had just the thing: a little slide whistle, an instrument that will perhaps, in this day and age, will be associated with that SpongeBob episode. Attached to it was a tag, which read:

 

TO MR. GRINCH

 

FROM WENDY, ALIAS SANTA CLAUS

 

When he saw that instrument, he was befuddled by the whole thing. “Er, Wendy?”

 

“Yeeeesssssss?” asked the witch.

 

Finally he gets my name right! thought the little witch, happy expression on her face.

 

“What’s the gag here, anyway? Is this instrument going to blow up in my face? Is there a little mechanical man who’ll poke me in the cornea in this thing?”

 

“No, my Christmas-despising friend!” replied Wendy. “Play it! I think it’ll do you an awful lot of good.”

 

And play he did, and once he played that first note on the slide whistle, something amazing happened. All thoughts of evil and gloom and depriving the world of all forms of holiday cheer suddenly vanished, and his heart grew, and grew, and grew- 6 sizes too big to be specific- and a great big smile appeared on his face, and his eyes were reduced to tears as he kept tootling on the instrument. He had went back to the happy, gentle, holiday-loving soul who he was before that tree whomped him three years ago. 

 

“T-thanks, Wendy!” he sobbed. “I’ve never been so happy in my life! I- I think I feel a profound change in myself! I feel as.. as though my heart… it’s grown! Six times as it previously was, at that! I feel… like singing a merry old Christmas carol… deck the halls with boughs of holly… jingle all the way… and all that other Yuletide stuff like that! I feel like dancing! I feel as merry as a schoolboy, giddy as an elf, jolly as good ol’ Santa Claus himself! I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy in my whole life! C’mon, Max! When we get home we’re packing out bags and moving back to Whoville! But not before I give you a huge, juicy, nice steak dinner! Oh- and Merry Christmas, you two delightful children! May your dreams come true- may every year be better than the next!”

 

And he and his pooch exited the scene, happily playing a peppy little tune on the slide whistle, skipping and hopping even!

 

“I just knew that’d do it,” said Wendy to Casper, pointing her thumb at the changed Grinch. “It’s moments like this that really make being a good little witch… well… awesome. Now, how about that fist bump?” 

 

“Sure, let’s have a go at it, eh what?” replied the ghost in a fake Cockney accent, fist at the ready.

 

“Capital, Casper, ol’ chum, quite capital indeed!” exclaimed the witch, in her own fake British accent.

 

And the two made a fist bump, one so epic words fail me to describe exactly how epic it was, but it was epic!

 

“Now, let’s really get to bringing joy to the world, and happiness for all,” triumphantly said Wendy, walking back to the sleigh.

 

“Right on,” replied Casper.

 

And so, our heroes flew into the wild blue yonder (although they obviously weren’t old enough to join the Air Force), fully ready to start spreading joy all over the world, their mission now unhampered.

 

From China to Chicago, from Berlin to Bombay, from Rio to Rhode Island, in every last country, territory, state, city, village and tiny hamlet, they delivered presents for uncountable billions of people, not just little children, but teenagers, adults, senior citizens… and Wendy being the good little witch she is, even those who didn’t ask for anything got a little something special this year to put a smile on their face. Heck, even those little kids who camped out in front of the ol’ fireplace, awaiting a glimpse of Santa himself were understandably surprised as who this mysterious little girl in the red suit who was taking over the role of gift-giver this year, but when she explained exactly what was going on, they immediately understood and they went to bed completely satisfied. Sure, there were other people who took notice of this substitute Santa (hey, that’s the name of this episode!), but they, too were happy with her, as Wendy was every bit as jolly and merry and big-hearted as the real Santa.

 

And after stopping at thousands of cities, towns, municipalities and villages (even though some of the foods that were laid out for our favorite good little witch were less than appetizing for her taste buds), there was one stop left on Casper and Wendy’s journey.

 

“Last stop on our epic mission, home sweet home: the Enchanted Forest!” Wendy exclaimed happily.

 

“Ya-hooie!” enthusiastically responded Casper. “I can’t wait to see our friends’ faces when they find out we’re doing the Santa bit this year!”

 

“Same here,” said Wendy.

 

And after landing and distributing presents to every ghost, gnome, witch, devil, fairy, goblin and any other magical creature that resides in the Forest that I forgot to mention (and after an all too partaking of the steamed hams), there was only one person left to give presents to. Well, actually three: Casper’s uncles, the Ghostly Trio.

 

“Well, Casper,” said the good little witch. “Here’s the very last stop on our journey- your place! How’s about we give your uncles a little surprise, eh, ol’ buddy?”

 

“That’d be awesome!” happily responded the friendly ghost. “Their eyes’ll pop out of their sockets when they see you instead of Santa come down the chimney!”

 

“Heh-heh!”, replied Wendy, chuckling about what she’d have in store for them. “I’ll bet they didn’t see me coming at all!”

 

Back at Casper’s place, the Trio were camped out in front of the chimney, with what looked to be a giant box laid out for Santa inside.

 

“Y’know, brothers,” said Fatso (actually, his real name is Orinthal, but don’t tell him I told you!) one of Casper’s unks, obviously the fat one if you didn’t guess already. “Methinks that this year, we’ll catch ourselves that fat ol’ gift-giver this time! And when he comes down th’ chimney- if he does, which is very unlikely, he’ll find himself in this ol’ chest an’ we’ll have all his wonderful presents to ourselves!”

 

“Y’sure this’ll work, Fatso?” asked Lazlo, or “Lazo” for short, another of the Trio, concerned. “You know that he won’t stop by this year? Just the usual note to be nicer ghosts like Casper and a big sack of coal for the fire! Can’t we stop with this trapping Santa bit an’ just face th’ facts? I mean, last year we didn’t get Santa- your lasso skills roped in some salesman from Dallas peddling cowboy duds!”

 

“Oh, I don’t know about that, Lazo,” replied Raoul, the other uncle, although he preferred the nickname “Stretch” for some reason I won’t bother to elucidate about here. “I’ve got faith in the guy! Got a funny feeling this time we’ll be getting him for sure!”

 

Suddenly, something fell down the chimney, into the box. And of course, the Trio were ecstatic. “We did it, brothers,” triumphantly said Fatso. “This year, we got ourselves some Santa. Now, let’s open up the box, shall we, just so we can see his face when he sees us staring him cold in the face!”

 

And as he opened up the box, the other two uncles heavily anticipating this moment, they saw someone they weren’t expecting at all.

 

“Ta-da!” shouted Wendy, as she was released from the box. “Hello, fellas! Shouldn’t you three be in bed right about now?”

 

“Wendy, you surprising little gumdrop!” angrily said Fatso. “What’re you doing here? Where’s Santa?”

 

“I’m Santa this year!” said Wendy in complete sincerity.

 

And when she said that, the Trio thought she was joking, and burst out laughing like hyenas. “That’s a good one, Wendy!” they chortled. “That’s a funny! We can feel my guts busting as we speak!”

 

“B-but I’m serious!” replied Wendy. “Let me explain!”

 

“Alright,” sternly said Fatso. “But dis better be a good one, hear?”

 

And explain she did, but as she was done telling Casper’s unks about the situation, they were still not convinced.

 

“A likely story!” retorted the rotund ghost. “But we’d like ta see some concrete evidence! Or else yer gonna get booed into orbit for thinking we’re that gullible!”

 

“Well,” said the witch, getting out three individually wrapped presents. “Do these say that I’m tricking you? Hmmm?

 

And at the sight of the presents, the Trio were finally convinced that Wendy really was telling them the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

 

“Y’mean dat these are for us?” asked Fatso. “A real present, and not some coal for th’ fire or one of Casper’s sissy presents?”

 

“Nope!” said Wendy, shaking her head. “But before you open your gifts, there’s someone who’s been with me the whole ride, and he’d love to see this. Just gimme a sec.”

 

And she went up the chimney, whistling to Casper as a signal. “Hey, Casper!”, she called. “Come down here! Your uncles are about to open their presents!”

 

“Awesome!” replied Casper, as he walked on the roof to the chimney.

 

And as he flew down the chimney to surprise the Trio, they were not all surprised.

 

“Casper?!!” all three of them shouted in shocked unison. “You, too? Should’ve known your goody-goody friend would’ve taken you with her to do something like this!”

 

“Yup,” replied the ghost, nodding his head. “Your own little nephew is Santa’s little helper, and trust me, it’s been fun!”

 

“Well, don’t just stand there,” added Wendy. “Open up your gift! You’ll love it!”

 

And the ghosts tore through the wrapping paper of the gifts as if they were the Tasmanian Devil in triplicate, and as soon as they found out what they got, words failed them as to describe how much they liked them.

 

“Oh, wow!” said Stretch, examining the gift.

 

“Personalized shirts? With our names on them?” gasped Fatso in awe. “And Wendy gave us our own logo on th’ front!”

 

“And so comfortable, too! Just our size!” added Lazo, sporting the shirt with a satisfied look on his face.

 

And as they admired their gifts, all Wendy and Casper could do was watch how happy they were, really big smiles on their faces.

 

“So, what’cha think?” asked Casper. “Like ‘em?”

 

Like them? Like them?” replied Fatso. “Why, ‘like’ is too commonplace and generic a word to describe the sheer greatness of a gift like this! Personally, I think ‘love’ is a better word to use here, don’t you think so, bros?”

 

“Mm-hmm!” hmmed the other two uncles in agreement.

 

“I knew you’d like ‘em!” replied Wendy. “You know, I made those a while back, but I saved them until now, just for you!”

 

“Well, thanks, Wendy… or should we say, ‘Wendy Claus’!” said the Trio in unison. “So much better than a signed copy of one of Casper’s sissy books- no offense, Casper!”

“None taken,” replied the friendly ghost.

 

“Well, we’d best be going now!” said Wendy. “Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Joyeux Noel, Buon Natale, Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Everyone, and all of that other stuff that’d be redundant if I kept going on! So, ’til next time, as Casper’s cousin Spooky might say, ‘au reservoir!’”

 

And so, having delivered the last present, Casper and Wendy zoomed into the night sky to report back to Mrs. Claus.

 

“Y’know, good buddy,” said Wendy. “We done good tonight. Delivered all those gifts on time, made this holiday season the merriest ever, and made everybody happy, even the Grinch! Now, that’s something to be proud of, which I most certainly am!”

 

“You bet,” replied Casper. “This must’ve been one of the greatest things that ever happened to us in all our young lives! Take my word for it, Wend! Tomorrow’ll be great and all, but not as exciting as actually helping you be Santa for the year!”

 

And an hour or so later, they finally made it to Santa’s workshop, where Mrs. C. was standing by the door.

 

“Wendy! Casper!” she cheered as she ran towards the two as they got out of the sleigh. “How did it go? Did the children get all their presents in time?”

 

“Went great!” assured Wendy, giving the “O.K.” sign with her hand. “Methinks we done good, don’t you think so, Casper?”

 

“You bet your sweet bippy they did!” he added.

 

“Well, that’s a relief!” Mrs. Claus replied. “Since you two did such a good job taking the place of my husband, how about you two get to do this if he ever takes ill around this time again?”

 

“That would be a pleasure, ma’am!” said Wendy happily.

 

“Well, we’d best be going home now!” she added, getting out her wand. “Goodbye, Mrs. Claus! Hope our paths cross once again sometime soon!”

 

“Goodbye, Wendy and Casper!” called Mrs. Claus.

 

Wendy waved goodbye and after that, poof! she and Casper were back in the Enchanted Forest.

 

“Say, Wendy,” asked Casper once they were back home. “How’s about a little something for my bestest friend in the whole world?”

 

“I’d like that very much!” enthusiastically replied Wendy.

 

“Well, before I give you your Christmas present,” said the ghost. “Close your eyes, and don’t go opening your little peepers until I say so!”

“Will do!” said Wendy.

 

And the witch closed her eyes, real tight-like, and about 10 minutes later (or maybe 11, I’m not all that good at math), Casper gave her the signal to open her eyes again.

 

“Open your eyes, Wendy, because here comes your big surprise!” he said happily. And from behind his back he gave her a little drawing of the two of them in the air, Wendy sitting in the sleigh, Casper flying about as her personal reindeer.

 

“Why, Casper!” said the witch, smooching her ghost buddy as her way of saying “thanks”. “I may not be too crazy about art, but I know what I like, and this is art! Happy holidays, good buddy.”

 

“The same to you, Wendy!” replied Casper.

 

And so our two friends wished each other a happy holiday and went off to get some shut-eye, because it's only natural they should feel a bit bushed after delivering tons of presents to everyone, all over the world. And it is here, when we end our "Witchmas" special, and bid adieu to our supernatural best of friends until next time. So until then...

 

THE END

AND REAL EARLY WISHES FOR A HAPPY HOLIDAY

(OH, WHY DIDN'T I DECIDE TO WRITE THIS DURING THE HOLIDAY SEASON??)

 

 

(Oh, and for posterity, thought I'd post the comic cover that inspired this little saga):

E61qSK5.jpg

 

Edited by Wendy the Witch
slightly tweaked

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Ah, the Middle Ages! Truly a riveting time in human history. A time of valor and bravery, of awesome, gory conflict, of cruel, unusual, just plain ugly torture methods, of savage, blood-thirsty barbarians, of fire-breathing dragons and wizards and witches with mysterious magical powers, and of scrumptious feasts fit for, well… a king! (Not to mention all the rare, radiant ladies fair! *click!*) T’was a time when brave knights were bound by honor to serve and protect their sacred kingdom and their exalted rulers, and- parry! thrust! lance! parry! clink! swish! tzing!- battled each other for the kingdom- or even for the hand of a fair maiden- with their trust swords at the ready in an epic duel- to the death, even! I’ll bet at least one of you reading this would give your eyeteeth to travel back to those times, and that’s precisely what our favorite friendly ghost, Casper, often lies awake at night thinking! And his wish’ll come true- in a most unusual way, when he’ll soon become…

 

 

A Ghost in King Arthur’s Court!

 

 

Chapter 1:

 

“Paging King Arthur”

 

or 

 

“Zappy New Year!”

 

 

 

Casper was lying on his bed, which was perhaps the only room in the bungalow he and his uncles resided in which was really clean and nice-looking, wallpapered, even. Also, quite a bit of assorted doodads and items lying around, too, perhaps more than the rest of the house, but the room wasn’t really all that cluttered.

 

Assorted posters here and there, mostly of favorite musical acts and a few other things, shelves of assorted knick-knacks and mementos from previous adventures by himself or with Wendy, a couple of big crates full of LPs, among various other things, surrounded him in his room, but that stuff probably won’t do anything to advance the plot, so why am I even telling you about all that?

 

Anyway, he was lying on his bed, deeply engrossed in a book, one which was rather large in size and obviously one which was about a subject he truly had interest in. Its title: Medieval Lore, Volume 1.

 

“Wow!” the ghost said to himself in amazement. “This Middle Ages stuff really is fascinating! All those interesting characters, Robin Hood, King Arthur, the Knights of the Round Table (why round? Maybe it was because of their round bellies after so many feasts), St. George… wow! What bravery those knights had back then! What valor! Boy, were they fearless! Why, not even a menacing dragon could make them turn yellow with fear! If only I could go back there! That would be so cool! Maybe one of these days I’ll go ask Wendy to take me to Merrie Ol’ England in her time machine!”

 

At that moment, Casper’s uncles, the Ghostly Trio, walked in. The friendly ghost could realize right away that they were going to make fun of his interests once again.

 

“Hiya, Casper!” said Fatso, one of his unks, waving his hand. “What’cha reading? The Wit and Wisdom of Mr. Rogers?”

 

Chimed in Stretch, another uncle: “A graphic novel version of those Tom and Jerry cartoons with that duck?”

 

Said Lazo, the last of the Trio: “How about a book on How to be the Worst Ghost Ever?”

 

The three of them snickered at their own jokes.

 

“Nix!” replied Casper. “Really, uncles! You should know I’m a lot more than a ‘sissy’ ghost who wants to be friendly and good and likes doing good deeds and other things like that! Just ask Wendy! Besides, how much do you know about me, anyhow? This much! I hated that duck!”

 

He made a gesture with his hand to emphasize the “this much.”

 

“Anyway, if you must know,” he continued. “I’m reading about Merrie Olde England during the Middle Ages! Dragons! Brave knights! Fair damsels in distress! Jousting! The works! Fascinating stuff.”

 

It was here when the Trio decided to once again make fun of his interests once again.

 

“Parry! Thrust! Thrust! Tzing! Swish! And other similar sound-eth effects-eth!” said Fatso, swinging his arms as if he was swishing around a sword.

 

“Hark!” joined in Lazo. “What light from yonder window breaks? A sunbeam, of course, knave, and gadzooks! is it bright!”

 

“Avast, me hearties! Batten down the hatches and hoist the jib or ye’ll walk th’ plank!” added Stretch.

 

The other two uncles looked at him and shook their heads. “Seriously, Stretch? Pirate lingo? You’re a complete idiot now! Get your time periods right, lubber, else ye’ll be walkin’ th’ plank! An’ by plank I mean some simple arithmetic: my fist + your face = POW!”

 

Stretch just shrugged and gave a big smile.

 

“Anyways,” the three of them said, facing their nephew. “When ya ever gonna stop reading dreck like this? When ya ever gonna read some real books, like, f’rinstance, we dunno, something with lotsa gore and blood, and decapitation and zombie Nazis and big explosions and people getting killed an’ that kinda stuff? Some real he-ghost-type literature, not some silly book of fairy tales and folklore and stories that end happily ever after!”

 

“Phooey!” said Casper. “I’ll read what I want, and you can’t change that about me! Now, if you excuse me,” he continued, walking downstairs and to the door, “I shalt seeketh some refuge from ye insipid joking and jesting! I need my solitude.”

 

And he walked out the door, book in hand.

 

“Heh-heh! ‘Seekth’! Hee-hee-hee!” the Trio laughed, making fun of the way our favorite friendly ghost was talking.

 

“I heard that!” Casper replied as he raced back to the house for a sec.

 

He then continued on his walk. He searched for a good, quiet spot to continue his literary pursuits, until he chanced upon a log sitting on the ground near a shady tree.

 

“Hark!” gasped Casper to himself. “A log under yon shady oak tree! Perfect to continue my literary pursuits.”

 

And as he sat down to get back to reading about the days of King Arthur and Robin Hood, he had no idea of just what was going to happen to him in the ensuing minutes, for hiding in a bush not too far from Casper was a mean old witch, who had some real nasty plans up her sleeve.

 

“A-ha!” she exclaimed. “There’s that goody-goody gumdrop of a ghost they call Casper! Ugh! How I despise him and his friendly ways! I’ve had it up my armpits with his niceness! And friendliness, niceness and all around frivolous behavior nauseates me! Why, I’m liable to chuck up a big one in this bush as I speak! And I’ve got a rotten idea up my sleeve! With my dark magic I’ll send that sweet as candy specter back to England during the Middle Ages! I remember when I was a kid, spooks were considered bad luck, and any ghost found even just stopping and sniffing the roses (ecch!) would be put in a spook-proof dungeon! Maybe they’ll do that to him! Hee-hee-hee!”

 

Meanwhile, far away from the Enchanted Forest, over at Kremer Stadium, quite a terrific baseball game was going on. And since I don’t know much about the Great American Pastime (or most sports, except maybe bullfighting or billiards or bowling or surfing, so don’t ask me to narrate a sports-themed Casper and Wendy adventure, mmkay?), I’ll just describe it in a way that doesn’t suggest I’m an ignorant ignoramus when it comes to sports.

 

Well, the Metro City Mallards were up against their greatest rival, the Harveyville Hawks, who were in every way better than the Mallards. Even their name, as if you didn’t notice, was cooler than the “Metro City Mallards”. (Besides, who wants to name their team after a web-footed bird, except for that college in Oregon?)

 

The Mallards were still a good team, even though they weren’t performing as well as they did, as their coach, “Rusty” Luciano, was out camping with family for two weeks (as if this information is vital to the plot), and thus wasn’t around to guide the team with his sterling leadership.

 

Anyway, they were doing a (far from) decent job, though, as the score for this inning was 15 to 3. However, their star pitcher, “Madball” Marciano, was determined to bring his team to victory, as he had rubbed his lucky cap the night before, and had with him his lucky bat. And as the ball from a player from the Hawks sent the ball towards his direction, he responded with his trademark big hit. And as WAP! his bat hit the ball, he made a bigger hit than ever before, as it went zooming at great speed out of the park, with nobody in the stadium or watching the game at home knowing where it’d land.

 

Well, Casper did, as after some five minutes or so of flying through the air, it chanced to -BONK!- land right on Casper’s noggin, and knocked him right off his wooden seat, THUD, right on the grassy ground.

 

“A-ha!” said the witch to herself, seeing a perfect opportunity to zap the friendly ghost back in time. “Perfect! When that ghost wakes up, he’ll have no idea how he got there! Hee-hee!”

 

She got out her wand.

 

Because having to live in the same forest as that ghost is such a hassle,

Send him back to the land of knights and castles!”  she muttered as she made a few passes with her wand.

 

And, faster than you can say “double, double, toil and trouble,” BZAP! went the wand as it zapped Casper back to another time and place.

 

 

Next time on The Misadventures of Casper and Wendy:

 

Casper awakens to find himself back in the Middle Ages, convinced that a simple conk on the ol’ cranium could do so much. Inevitably, having read on the subject, he’s astonished to be back in the times of jousting, chivalry and delicious mutton, but as he explores Merrie Olde England, danger and maybe even a new friend will await him. How’s it going to play out? Find out in the next episode:

 

“Knight and Day”

 

or

 

“We’re Off to See the Wizard!”

Edited by Wendy the Witch

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