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EVSPONGEFAN

Hamburgers or hotdogs?

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Ah, the age old debate.

Well, first off, you have to set the ground rules of this comparison. Is there anything on the hot dog? On the hamburger? Is the hamburger a cheeseburger? Where is the hot dog from? How long is it? Where is the hamburger from? How's it cooked? Sides, also. What sides do you have? With a hamburger usually fries are traditional, but you could swap them out for onion rings if you prefer (which I do); hot dogs would usually be served with a bag of chips. I think, which could range from regular to barbecue to salt and vinegar. Why do you think that is? What prompts chips with hot dogs but fries with hamburgers? I certainly don't know.

An ideal scenario - for both foods - is an interesting comparison. What do I like on my hot dog? I'm simple. There's a place in my town that does an All Around; onions, mustard, and relish. People would usually say ketchup is the way to go, however, I disagree immensely. Ketchup belongs nowhere on any a hot dog nor a hamburger. The taste is not something I desire, especially when I could substitute in barbecue sauce and lose nothing (and gain everything). The All Around dog is hands down the best hot dog I've had, but that's because no one "does" hot dogs. Technically speaking, they're garbage. They're good, but they're garbage, and so no one touches them. So many restaurants do burgers, but a decent restaurant wouldn't be caught dead with a hot dog on their menu. Hell, even fast food restaurants don't serve them. They're that bad. They're food stand level food. You get them at 11am when you're groggily stumbling around a city because you have a hangover from the night before when you made the mistake of having a hot dog and you think that the only thing that'll make you feel better is yet another hot dog because you think it'll make you puke, but you couldn't be more wrong; it'll stay in your stomach and make you feel terrible, but your body won't do anything about it. That's what hot dogs are for.

Compare them to burgers. They're almost an art form. You have the "I'm self-taught" equivalent at fast food restaurants; they're everywhere and they usually won't take any chances to improve themselves, so you just kinda have to suck it up and put on a smile and half-heartedly say "oh that's nice". Then you have the "art school student" equivalent at sort of higher end fast food restaurants (think places like Five Guys, but not Five Guys). They're a mixed bag; they could be great or they could be terrible, but you don't know. You've heard from a friend of a friend that there's one that's really good, but you can't say for sure. And even if one person thinks it's great, you may think it's terrible. Then you have the "grad school" equivalent at snobby restaurants that have burgers on their menu and try to reinvent the wheel and they act like they're above you because they put an egg inside the patty. Technically they're fine, but you wouldn't want it a second time because it's just too much on your tastebuds and your wallet. Then you have the creme de la creme. The "modern artist" equivalent: pubs and dives. They're unconventional and you aren't entirely sure what their message is or what's in it, but you give it a try and hot damn is it the best thing you've ever tasted.

Generally, I will go for a burger at Tasty Burger, which no doubt you've heard me talk about numerous times. It's not that glamorous, the burgers are messy, but shit if it's not the best experience you've had while eating a cow (short of running at a live cow straight-on and biting into it with Aerosmith playing from some indiscernible location). I've recently had a burger that topped Tasty Burger in excellence, which was from a pub a few days ago. I couldn't even pick it up. It was like that one girl in your class that's sort of shy and she has glasses and red hair and is into some nerdy things like comics and fantasy/sci-fi novels. There's no way you're getting any of that, no matter how much you want it. Your aura is not worthy of its aura and you can't do anything but just sit and stare and hope to god that it lets you taste one of its pickles or even just lick it - you'd be totally fine just licking it.

A hot dog doesn't have that much gravitas. It has no presence. It's a hot dog, for crying out loud. It's the guy at the party that leans against the wall and no one really interacts with. If you do, then you won't really remember it, and you might wish you hadn't after the fact. Burgers are the life of the party. They're going around and making sure everyone is satisfied. They're telling jokes and pouring drinks and doing shots and doing Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons karaoke. No one's saying no to this guy because he can be anything you need him to be. Calm, cool, collected. Hyper, vibrant, exuberant. Anything you want.
 

Hot dogs are something you get at a ball game if you're 7 and missing your two front teeth and haven't yet tasted the joys of a sausage with peppers and onions. A burger is something you'll always get, anywhere at anytime.

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Hotdogs.I really wanna know why mostly all of the people on this thread like hamburgers more.

 

I summed it up just fine:

 

Ah, the age old debate.

Well, first off, you have to set the ground rules of this comparison. Is there anything on the hot dog? On the hamburger? Is the hamburger a cheeseburger? Where is the hot dog from? How long is it? Where is the hamburger from? How's it cooked? Sides, also. What sides do you have? With a hamburger usually fries are traditional, but you could swap them out for onion rings if you prefer (which I do); hot dogs would usually be served with a bag of chips. I think, which could range from regular to barbecue to salt and vinegar. Why do you think that is? What prompts chips with hot dogs but fries with hamburgers? I certainly don't know.

An ideal scenario - for both foods - is an interesting comparison. What do I like on my hot dog? I'm simple. There's a place in my town that does an All Around; onions, mustard, and relish. People would usually say ketchup is the way to go, however, I disagree immensely. Ketchup belongs nowhere on any a hot dog nor a hamburger. The taste is not something I desire, especially when I could substitute in barbecue sauce and lose nothing (and gain everything). The All Around dog is hands down the best hot dog I've had, but that's because no one "does" hot dogs. Technically speaking, they're garbage. They're good, but they're garbage, and so no one touches them. So many restaurants do burgers, but a decent restaurant wouldn't be caught dead with a hot dog on their menu. Hell, even fast food restaurants don't serve them. They're that bad. They're food stand level food. You get them at 11am when you're groggily stumbling around a city because you have a hangover from the night before when you made the mistake of having a hot dog and you think that the only thing that'll make you feel better is yet another hot dog because you think it'll make you puke, but you couldn't be more wrong; it'll stay in your stomach and make you feel terrible, but your body won't do anything about it. That's what hot dogs are for.

Compare them to burgers. They're almost an art form. You have the "I'm self-taught" equivalent at fast food restaurants; they're everywhere and they usually won't take any chances to improve themselves, so you just kinda have to suck it up and put on a smile and half-heartedly say "oh that's nice". Then you have the "art school student" equivalent at sort of higher end fast food restaurants (think places like Five Guys, but not Five Guys). They're a mixed bag; they could be great or they could be terrible, but you don't know. You've heard from a friend of a friend that there's one that's really good, but you can't say for sure. And even if one person thinks it's great, you may think it's terrible. Then you have the "grad school" equivalent at snobby restaurants that have burgers on their menu and try to reinvent the wheel and they act like they're above you because they put an egg inside the patty. Technically they're fine, but you wouldn't want it a second time because it's just too much on your tastebuds and your wallet. Then you have the creme de la creme. The "modern artist" equivalent: pubs and dives. They're unconventional and you aren't entirely sure what their message is or what's in it, but you give it a try and hot damn is it the best thing you've ever tasted.

Generally, I will go for a burger at Tasty Burger, which no doubt you've heard me talk about numerous times. It's not that glamorous, the burgers are messy, but shit if it's not the best experience you've had while eating a cow (short of running at a live cow straight-on and biting into it with Aerosmith playing from some indiscernible location). I've recently had a burger that topped Tasty Burger in excellence, which was from a pub a few days ago. I couldn't even pick it up. It was like that one girl in your class that's sort of shy and she has glasses and red hair and is into some nerdy things like comics and fantasy/sci-fi novels. There's no way you're getting any of that, no matter how much you want it. Your aura is not worthy of its aura and you can't do anything but just sit and stare and hope to god that it lets you taste one of its pickles or even just lick it - you'd be totally fine just licking it.

A hot dog doesn't have that much gravitas. It has no presence. It's a hot dog, for crying out loud. It's the guy at the party that leans against the wall and no one really interacts with. If you do, then you won't really remember it, and you might wish you hadn't after the fact. Burgers are the life of the party. They're going around and making sure everyone is satisfied. They're telling jokes and pouring drinks and doing shots and doing Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons karaoke. No one's saying no to this guy because he can be anything you need him to be. Calm, cool, collected. Hyper, vibrant, exuberant. Anything you want.

 

Hot dogs are something you get at a ball game if you're 7 and missing your two front teeth and haven't yet tasted the joys of a sausage with peppers and onions. A burger is something you'll always get, anywhere at anytime.

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