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Renegade the Unicorn

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Everything posted by Renegade the Unicorn

  1. Smirnoff peach bellini. I'M 21, DON'T JUDGE ME
  2. Hey! (bump bump bump!) Got any grapes?
  3. Hmmm...PR: MVF in top 10 in spite of lack of updates
  4. "Hell Broke Luce" - Tom Waits
  5. So, I've decided what kinda songs I'm gonna write about: kinda scholcky horror punk shizz (like what the Misfits did)?
  6. if you had to ask me what my fave b-movie was, this would be it?:
  7. Falling Down (1993) and Raging Bull (1980).
  8. no, i'm renegade? but yes, i am what's a good starting point in terms of their music?
  9. I've never heard Vampire Weekend before?
  10. "Roll Over Beethoven" - Chuck Berry
  11. "Push Th' Little Daisies" - Ween
  12. Greetings, boils and ghouls! Renegade here with my second work not belonging to my larger "Reneverse" and my attempt at an "anthology" sort of series. Based on the classic comic and TV series, the Crypt Keeper tells terrifying tales both original and familiar. Co-written with @GreyKnight151.
  13. Welcome to This World: Part 1 Once, long ago, there was a majestic world known as Edenoi. A planet that was practically paradise among its’ people, an incredibly long-lived race of insectoids known as the Edeni, it knew not war, starvation, nor technology; the natural resources provided all that was needed. Under the guidance and watchful eye of the House Lexian, the Edeni prospered for many a millennium, protected by a ‘Chosen Hero’, one of royal blood and pure of heart. ...That was, until the royal family was overturned by a coup from within. Dregon, the second and youngest son of King Lexian M, in a prideful grab for power, introduced the idea of industrialization to Edenoi. While beneficial at first, machines and progress do not bode well for a planet if left unchecked, and unchecked it went, all according to Dregon’s plans. Within several hundred centuries, Edenoi was reduced to a desert, with Lexian and his grandson Prince Dex leading a resistance movement and battling Dregon’s forces, freeing those enslaved in factory-like labor camps to process whatever resources are left, and bring hope to Edenoi. But time is running out: Edenoi’s resources are spent, and the poisons that have been affecting the planet for as long as anyone can remember are finally taking their toll on the remaining lifeforms. Edenoi is dying, and Dex is its only hope… -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Several miniscule, yet filtered beams of sunlight managed to poke through the smog cloud cover that masked the planet of Edenoi for who-knew-how-long as the stranger on his beaten-up, rusted motorcycle drove through the endless desert. He appeared to be rather muscular, his bulges covered by a brown longcoat; his face was similarly shielded by a gasmask. The motorcycle itself was, at one point, a tinny silver, though years of exposure to the harsh environment of the planet had coated it in brown rust. Where he was going was not to be revealed, lest that information fell into the wrong hands. Lost in his thoughts and focused entirely on his destination, the rider did not notice moving figures coming towards him. They were thin creatures, dressed in crude armor and gas masks identical to his. Surrounding him on all sides, the rider was shaken out of his thoughts by the sight of these raiders, commonly called Plague Patrols. Since Edenoi had barely any government to speak of anymore (and what “government” there was had been focused on the exploitation of whatever resources were left), tribes had sprung up to do as they pleased. Dregon was quick to take notice, and would occasionally employ them as mercenaries against the resistance; in exchange for whatever they desired: fresh food and water, women, among other things. “Well, lookee here, boys.” the lead raider hissed, his voice raspy and deep. “Do you see what I see?” “A resistance member on a motorcycle?” another raider asked, only to get slapped by his superior. “Not just any resistance member, you idiot.” the leader said. “Think for a moment. Do any of the resistance members ride motorcycles?” “No,” a third muttered. “That is, except…” “...Prince Dex, the Chosen Hero of Edenoi.” the fourth and last Plague Patroller realized, his compound eyes widening underneath his mask. “Exactly!” the leader said, patting him on the back. “Do you know what this means if we capture him?” he whispered. “We can capture him, send him to Lord Dregon, and get all the luxuries we want! We could be the richest gang on Edenoi!” the dumb one, called Brutus, exclaimed. Unfortunately, he just happened to say it out loud, right in front of Dex. The cloaked prince of Edenoi slowly rose from the motorcycle, casting off his cloak to reveal his green, insectoid body showing his muscles. His hands, rather than regular fingers, bared sharp, black claws, his feet shaped into black, boot-like appendages. Removing his mask to reveal his face, the rider revealed his true identity, his red eyes having no pupils to see through, at least visible ones. His fangs, twisted into a permanent sneer, were pearl-white and razor-sharp, perfect for tearing. And to top this all off were two thin antennae right above his eyes. Dex opened his mouth to speak; with no lips to speak of (as he was an insect, albeit an anthropomorphic alien one), the result looked uncanny and horrifying: “I do not think you Plague Patrollers realize just what you said. Capturing me and bringing me to that traitor Dregon will do nothing but fuel the various cells of the resistance that are scattered all over this planet into fighting harder. Yes, with the environment tampered with beyond any reasonable measure, our mission may seem hopeless in your eyes. After all, once Edenoi goes, we will go with it, yes?” “Y-yes…” the Plague Patrollers whimpered, now scared beyond their wits. “Then capturing me and bringing me to Dregon will accomplish nothing. Instead, I will bring your bodies to him. I AM THE RIGHTFUL PRINCE OF EDENOI, AND YOU SHALL BE PUNISHED IN THE NAME OF MY GRANDFATHER, KING LEXIAN!” With that, Dex promptly grabbed at two of the Plague Patrollers, biting into their necks, decapitating them in a geyser of blood. Tossing their bodies aside, Dex focused on the last two, who tried to futilely slash at Dex with the knives they had on them. Unfortunately, these were pointless as Dex punched one of them across the face and onto the ground, while brutally clawing into the leader’s chest until he was so far enough into his chest cavity he could feel his heart beating against his palm. With a screech, Dex ripped out the lead raider’s heart, the organ still beating in his hand. Tossing the heart aside, Dex focused his efforts now onto the last Plague Patroller. “Any last words?” Dex hissed. “Please...spare me.” the raider begged. “It is far too late.” Dex growled, before kicking the Plague Patroller so hard he exploded, his guts spilling onto the desertified ground. Redressing in his longcoat and gasmask, Dex got onto his motorcycle and sped off further into the desert, towards the mountains. He encountered no one else from that point on. ------------------------- Meanwhile, far above Edenoi, away from the smog and toxins that would inevitably kill the planet quite soon, a castle-like ship floated in orbit. It was massive; if one could compare it to any sort of landmark, it would be comparable to, say, Prague Castle. The coloration of the starship was red and gold, the colors of House Lexian. Within the castle-ship lay a city unto itself, wherein the servants of Lord Dregon lived and worked to please their master. In the exact center of the ship was Dregon’s throne room. Unlike the rest of the castle, this room seemed dark, ominous, and industrial. Rather fitting. Lined across the throne room were shelves and shelves of bottles, each containing a small monster. These were known as “Insectovores”, despite a good majority of them not being any sort of insect at all. And on his throne sat Dregon himself. A beast of a creature, Dregon resembled an anthropomorphic insect like the rest of Edenoi’s inhabitants; in his case, a Hercules beetle. Again, rather fitting. Sitting near him were several others, also insects. Well, two of them were insects, the other was a robot. The insectoid beings were a female anthro black widow spider wearing a red silk dress that revealed quite a bit of skin. Her name was Veuve, and she was Dregon’s second-in-command. The other, a green and white earwig, was named Twinsect for his contrasting coloration. The robot was a small, floating top-shaped...thing with a white and black coloration. Its arms were completely different; the left one was a standard robot arm, the other was a miniature satellite dish. It was for this reason that the robot was named the Fact-Checker 40,000 (how many models they had to go through before reaching that number was anyone’s guess), or “Fact”, for short. The little robot, designed by the decidedly inept Sirius Cybernetics Corporation (who, it was said, were a ‘bunch of mindless jerks who would be the first against the wall when the revolution came’), was created to harness statistics, act as a surveillance drone (which was how Dregon kept tabs on the planet), and could get all 1 zillion intergalactic television channels. In addition, Fact had been programmed with a ‘Genuine People Personality’ chip, making him incredibly loyal and chipper to Dregon. Annoyingly chipper, in fact. Pun intended. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Down in the mountains of Edenoi, Dex kept on driving until he reached the mouth of a cave, strategically hidden in a spot where this particular cell of the resistance knew Fact’s signals couldn’t detect. Parking the bike outside the entrance, Dex got off and entered the cave, walking deeper and deeper until he reached what could have been considered the end of it. The walls were lit by a small fire, where several people were sitting around it: an anthro Japanese beetle, an anthro ladybug, an anthro unicorn beetle, and an anthro grasshopper much like Dex, except this one seemed far older, complete with a flowing grey beard. They were (respectively) Zarius, Ferrian, Donais, and King Lexian. “Ah, hello, Dex.” his grandfather greeted. “Come and sit by the fire.” Dex, after removing his longcoat and gas mask, did so. “How’d the mission go?” Donais asked. “Successfully.” Dex said with a hint of humility. “How many prisoners were you able to get out?” Zarius asked. “Hush!” Ferrian said harshly. “We can’t hear the report if you two keep asking questions!” “Ferrian has a point.” King Lexian said. “Dex, if you will.” “Certainly, Grandfather.” ------------------------------- Earlier that day… Dex pressed himself against the surface of the rock he was hiding behind, occasionally popping his head out to stare at the massive prison-factory that was many miles away, though still clearly visible. It stood out like a massive grey wart, the building consisting of a large octagonal building topped with a spiraling smokestack, which was coughing up large amounts of black carcinogenic smog into the atmosphere. The main building, which acted as a factory to “mine” gases from beneath the surface, was surrounded on all sides by smaller facilities, which included dormitory-like cells for the prisoners, a cafeteria which produced synthetic, flavorless “food”, and most disturbingly, an execution chamber for those who had disobeyed Dregon’s orders or outlived their usefulness to him. Surrounded on all sides by an impossibly tall, layered metal fence, the labor camp was guarded by Dregon’s foot soldiers, orange and white humanoid worms known as Maggots. They were not very intelligent or strong, but made up for it with their fierce obedience to their master and single-mindedness. Getting on his motorcycle, Dex sped towards the factory, the wheels kicking up a trail of dust as they rolled across the ground. Noticing the vehicle approaching them, it took the two Maggots on guard duty several minutes for their rudimentary thought processes to realize Dex was heading towards them, and they armed themselves with primitive spears and swords. Eyeing his opponents, Dex hoisted himself off of the motorcycle seat as it continued speeding forward, gripping the handlebars as he positioned himself and readying his first attack. With a SKREE, the Maggots charged forward with their weapons, only for them to be hit in the face with a roundhouse kick, knocking the humanoid worm-creatures back and causing their weapons to fly out of their hands. The motorcycle crashed into the prison’s barrier, somehow unscathed and blowing a hole through it. Retrieving one of the Maggots’ swords, Dex used it to stab it through the stomach, killing it instantly. Grabbing the spear, Dex used it to stab the other Maggot in the eye, impairing it before he pulled the sword out of the corpe’s stomach and impaling the surviving Maggot with it. With both guards now dead and the klaxons inside the prison now blaring wildly, Dex got back onto the motorcycle and riding into the prison complex, killing whatever guards stood in his way. (rather brutally, actually). Parking the bike into a corner of the main factory, Dex began scaling the side of it towards a vent and pried its cover off rather easily, climbing inside. His goal was simple: destroy the factory and set free the prisoners. And so far, it was a piece of cake. Some hours passed, the claustrophobic feeling of the vent shaft really creeping up on Dex now. He had no clue where this particular factory’s engine core was, so he would have to make an educated guess based on the temperature increasing as he moved. Even more time passed before Dex felt his hands and feet nearly burning. “There it is.” he muttered, kicking down the vent leading into the engine core. The ‘core’ resembled a large boiler, emitting chugging sounds as it processed the gases that were mined by the prisoners. What were these gases used for, one wondered? In short, chemical weapons for Dregon’s personal use. The engine core appeared to be completely unguarded, allowing Dex to destroy it. Retrieving a purpleish laser sword from his longcoat, Dex threw it at the engine before crawling back into the vent quickly as the entire factory shook and the shafts were filled with bright orange flame. Escaping the wreckage behind him, Dex began hurriedly escorting prisoners out, only telling them to run. A mother, who resembled an anthro praying mantis, turned to him alongside her children. “Thank you, Prince Dex.” she whispered. “I must ask one thing, however, and I do not have much time…” “Ask, and I shall try and answer as best I can.” Dex said. “But hurry.” “Why?” she whispered. “Why has Dregon forsaken us?” “Because he feels he can use and abuse this planet to his liking for his own gain. Dregon is nothing but a warmonger.” “Thank you…” she replied before running off, as far away from the burning wreckage as she could. --------------- “You did wonderfully, Dex.” Lexian said. “Thank you, Grandfather.” Dex said, bowing before him. “Get up, Dex.” Lexian warmly chided, laughing a bit. “Your love for me is all I need. Don’t be so formal.” “My apologies, Grandfather.” Dex laughed back, getting up. “Apologies accepted.” Dex then sat back down. An uneasy silence fell over the five of them, the only sounds in the cave being the echoing crackling of the fire. “Dex, my boy…” Lexian finally spoke. “You are a fine leader and dedicated to resisting Dregon’s reign over Edenoi. But…” “But…?” Dex replied, noticing the worried tone in his grandfather’s voice. “But Edenoi is dying.” Lexian said gravely. “Thank you Captain Obvious…” Zarius muttered, Ferrian slapping him. “OW! I mean, apologies, your Majesty, but we know Edenoi is dying.” “You are correct, Zarius.” Lexian said. “Edenoi is dying. But it is dying far faster than we first thought.” “...How fast?” Ferrian asked, shock and horror in her voice. If Edenoi is dying much quicker than we thought, she rationalized, then we as a species could go extinct in very little time. “I do not know.” said Lexian. “But what I do know is that I will need to send Dex away from Edenoi.” This shocked everyone else, especially Dex himself. “Why me?” Dex said. “Why must I be sent away, and no one else?” “Dex, you are a symbol of hope to those left on Edenoi.” Lexian said, retrieving a small metal box from behind a rock. “I am sending you away so that those you encounter will have something to believe in.” He then opened the box to reveal a black belt with a square gold buckle on it. Embedded into this belt were two beautiful rubies, as red as Dex’s eyes. “Which is why I am giving you this.” Dex’s eyes widened. “The belt of the Chosen Hero?” “The very same.” Lexian answered. “You have many times in the past proclaimed to be Edenoi’s Chosen Hero. Now it is time you lived up to those boasts.” Dex took the belt after hesitating for several moments, and put it around his waist. “Thank you, Grandfather. I swear on the name of our Royal House that I will uphold the values of Edenoi no matter what.” “I know you will, Dex.” Lexian said, hugging his grandson. “I know you will.” “I have a question, however.” Zarius interrupted. “Yes, Zarius?” Lexian replied. “What is it?” “It is obvious that Dex will need to blend in with whatever lifeforms he ends up with.” Zarius stated. “Yes, and your point is…?” Ferrian snarked. Zarius glared at her before continuing. “How, exactly will he disguise himself?” “Or even how he will get there?” Donais added. Lexian raised his hands to silence the two. “All will be revealed soon. For now, I will be preparing for Dex’s departure.” “We’ll miss you, Dex.” Ferrian said, hugging him. Soon enough, she was joined by Donais and Zarius, all three of them crying. “You may never see us again, but we’ll have you in our hearts.” “...I’ll miss you too. You’re not just my friends, or my teammates. You’re my family.” Dex said, and he began crying as well. ----------------------------------- Several more days passed by, with the resistance taking care of business as usual. That was, until Dex’s preparations to leave Edenoi were finished. Dex, Donais, Ferrian, and Zarius gathered deeper within in the cave, where Lexian stood in front of a large grey metal pod. It appeared to be very old, perhaps even ancient. The interior seemed to lack any sort of computers or screens, just a large cushy seat large enough for Dex to sit in. And lastly, on the pod’s left side, there was a large compartment for Dex’s motorcycle, which the prince had brought with him on his grandfather’s request. “Dex,” Lexian began. “It saddens me-it saddens us all, I should say-to see you go while our planet dies and our species goes extinct. But at the same time, I am proud of you. You have brought hope to Edenoi, and wherever you will go, you will fling a light into the darkness for those who look up to you. You are the Chosen Hero, Dex. Never forget that.” “I won’t.” Dex said, hugging his friends one final time. “We’ll miss you, Dex…” Ferrian said softly. “Me especially.” Donais said. He’d been Dex’s best friend since childhood (how many years ‘childhood’ was to the Edeni, anyway, given their practical immortality), and the two had been through thick and thin. So to see his best friend having to abandon them was devastating to Donais, as evidenced by his breaking voice and teary eyes. “I’ll miss you so much, Dex.” “We all will.” Zarius said, walking up to Dex and shaking his hand in one final goodbye gesture. “It has been a honor to serve under you, Prince Dex. I only pray to the spirits that wherever you go, that Dregon does not follow.” “Thank you, Zarius.” Dex said with a nod. “It has been an honor to lead you. Though, to address your concerns about Dregon, I do fear he may follow me. But you know what? I will fight him to my last breath. And that is a promise.” With a nod to Lexian, the pod slowly opened up, and Dex climbed in. As it closed, Dex looked at his friends and grandfather for the last time before a fluorescent green liquid began filling the inside of the pod. Dex did not move; in fact he seemed content to not struggle as he was submerged in the rising liquid. “Your Majesty,” Ferrian asked. “What’s happening? Why is the pod being filled with that...sludge?” “That ‘sludge’ you speak of is Bio-Augmentation Plasma, Ferrian.” Lexian explained. “Right now, it is rewriting Dex’s DNA to create a form that will help him blend in with whatever planet he is on.” “That still brings up my question from earlier.” Zarius said as the pod slowly rose from the ground and quickly launched itself upwards, destroying part of the cave roof as it sped off towards the smog cover and far away. “Where is Dex being sent to, exactly?” “A planet far, far away from here.” Lexian answered. “I believe it is called ‘Earth’.” ---------------------------- Meanwhile, in Dregon’s castle-ship, a silence had fallen over the group. Veuve was in the middle of repeatedly kissing her master while stroking his muscular arms when Fact suddenly began to beep and whir excitedly. “Hmmm?” Dregon grunted, his voice incredibly deep and echoing. “What is it, Fact?” “It had better be important.” Veuve warned. “Otherwise, I will take you apart and use you for scrap metal.” “Yeah!” Twinsect mindlessly agreed. “Scrap metal!” “Silence, both of you!” Dregon ordered, though he had a tone of obvious regret. For all his supposed ‘evil’, he still treated his commanders like family. “Fact, what have you to report?” “I’m detecting an escape pod leaving Edenoi’s atmosphere, boss!” Fact replied in his usual happy tone. Dregon noted with annoyance that Fact couldn’t feel any other emotion than ‘exuberant’ due to his programming. Damn you, Sirius Cybernetics, Dregon thought. I hope the revolution comes soon so you can be tried as the hacks that you so obviously are. “An escape pod, hmmm?” Dregon said. “Where, exactly, did it come from?” “I don’t know, sir.” Fact replied. “What I do know is that I can detect Prince Dex’s bio-signature.” Immediately, Veuve’s eyes widened. “Do you know what this means, my love?” she asked Dregon. “Of course, dear.” Dregon answered. “Uhh, I don’t!” Twinsect replied. Veuve promptly proceeded to punch him across the room. “It means,” Veuve said. “That Prince Dex is trying to escape from Edenoi.” “The question is, where is he going?” Twinsect wondered, still dazed from Veuve punching him so hard. “Finally, you say something intelligent for once.” Dregon said dryly. “Where is he going, Fact?” “I dunno, boss!” Fact answered. “Maybe we should follow him!” “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Twinsect asked. “I mean, what about the planet?” Veuve stared at him blankly, her expression giving off the indication that what Twinsect had just asked was the stupidest thing that she had ever heard. “You really are ignorant, aren’t you, Twinsect? Think for a moment. Prince Dex is escaping to another planet. What do planets have that could be useful to us?” Even with the obvious hint, it took several minutes for Twinsect to draw a conclusion. “...Resources?” “Good boy.” Veuve said with facetious sarcasm. “You got something right.” “B-but wouldn’t that mean abandoning Edenoi to its own devices?” Twinsect asked. “Of course, you idiot.” Dregon snapped. “It’s not like we have any more use for it after so many centuries of draining its resources.” “Shall I set a course, then, sir?” Fact replied, his satellite dish whirring around excitedly. “Yes. Set a course for...wherever Prince Dex is headed.” Dregon ordered. Not long afterwards, several jet thrusters under the castle lit themselves alight, and in defiance of all known laws of physics, the ship entered hyperdrive and sped off, away from the poisoned landscapes of the planet below it. ----------------- Earth, as defined from a scientific standpoint, is the third planet from the main sequence star known as Sol, which is itself located in the Orion Arm of the Milky Way galaxy. Through a fascinating set of conditions known as the “Goldilocks Zone”, this small planet has managed to produce viable air and water, and by extension, a plethora of life forms. The dominant species of Earth is the Homo sapien, otherwise known as “humans”. Evolved from common primates, humanity has managed to build themselves an enduring civilization, despite the impossible odds. ...From a galactic standpoint, Earth’s existence is one of the cruelest jokes ever conceived, and should be rectified immediately. In fact, it is such a cruel joke that very few are even aware that it exists. One of the few alien civilizations that knew of the planet, known as Irk, had exiled not one, but two of its conquerors (well, one was not necessarily a conqueror) to the insignificant little mudball for the sole purpose of getting rid of them. The first, named Zim, had been ‘assigned’ to ‘invade’ Earth due to his very destructive screw-ups, to put it lightly. The other, named Skoodge, actually was assigned to a planet known as Blorch (home of the slaughtering rat people), and had successfully conquered it on his own. So, then, why had Irk’s leaders, the Almighty Tallest, exiled him to Earth? Well, it was for far a more petty reason: they did not want Skoodge, a short wide Irken, to act as a poster boy for their conquest of the galaxy, Operation Impending Doom II; what had happened to Impending Doom I? Well, Zim happened. Where was I? Oh, right. Zim and Skoodge were currently patrolling the city in which they lived, a decrepit and filthy place, in their Voot Cruiser, pondering a plan to conquer humanity yet again. No one in the streets below took any notice of the small ship hovering above them; to humanity, aliens didn’t exist, nor wouldn’t have existed. Well, except to one. His name was Dib Membrane, and his mission in life was to expose Zim and Skoodge for the invaders they were and save humanity. Not that humanity needed saving, however. Zim, as noted before, was incredibly incompetent and often managed to screw up his plans on his own, which wasn’t helped by Skoodge or his minions GIR and Minimoose. Not that humanity took notice, anyway, as mentioned before. For all they knew, Zim had a ‘skin condition’ and were easily fooled by his and Skoodge’s disguises, with just consisted of eye-like contacts and wigs. And that wasn’t getting into how they treated Dib. They considered the boy insane, which when putting his behavior into account at times, wasn’t inaccurate. Though, a majority of the time, Dib was doing nothing wrong. The universe just seemed to hate him that much. Right now, he sat in his house casually watching television, his sister Gaz doing her usual thing and concentrating solely on the handheld game she was playing. Meanwhile, Dex’s pod entered Earth’s atmosphere, and was currently on fire as it sped towards the ground, specifically towards Dib’s front yard. This caught Zim and Skoodge’s attention, if the computer beeping inside the Voot Cruiser was any indication. “Object entering atmosphere, object entering atmosphere,” it droned. “Hm?!” Zim responded, one of his red eyes widening in intrigue. “An object is in the atmosphere!?” “...That’s what the computer just said.” Skoodge replied. “BE QUIET!” Zim screamed. “Computer, what is this object, and where is it headed?” “Object is pod containing unknown life form. Coordinates place pod as heading towards home of ‘Dib-monkey’.” The gears began to turn in Zim’s head and he came to the most logical and sane conclusion: “SOMEHOW, THE DIB HAS ORDERED A LIVING WEAPON, AND IS PLANNING TO USE IT AGAINST ME!” ...This could not have been farther from the truth. Meanwhile, Dex’s pod did end up crashing in Dib’s yard, creating a slightly flaming crater that was 6 feet wide, and six feet deep. Dib jumped slightly, looking at Gaz. “Gaz, did you hear that?” No answer. “Something’s crash-landed in our yard, from the sound of it. I’m gonna investigate. You stay here and make sure nothing gets in.” Gaz looked up from her game, glaring at her brother. “Don’t tell me what to do.” she growled. Dib, knowing better than to anger his sister, immediately bolted out the door. Staring at the crater before him, he slowly approached it, but ended up tripping and falling in with a yelp. Now seeing it up close filled Dib with a sense of fear and excitement. He had suspicions that whatever was inside had malicious intentions due to experiences with Zim and Tak, though his magnificent brain told him not to assume anything; after all, if there were malicious aliens out there, there could have been benevolent ones too. Dib’s thoughts were interrupted by the pod opening suddenly, revealing what looked like a dark green chrysalis inside it. “ A cocoon…” Dib observed. “That could only mean something’s inside...but what?” His questions were immediately answered when the shell broke open, revealing a young man inside. He appeared to be Caucasian, with piercing black hair and brown eyes. Age-wise, he looked to be 16. He was completely naked, his body covered in streaks of green goo. Though Dib didn’t know it just yet, this was Prince Dex, his appearance changed by the Bio-Augmentation Plasma from that of a humanoid grasshopper to that of a human being. He appeared to be slightly confused as to where he was, an understandable situation. Dib stared, overcome with s mix of fascination and suspicion. He doubted this human appearance was Dex’s true form, but it was certainly a better disguise than Zim’s. Before Dib could say anything more, Dex opened his mouth to speak. “Greetings. I am Prince Dex of Edenoi. I come in peace.” “Suuuure you do, buddy.” Dib snarked, narrowing his eyes. “I assure you, I mean you no harm.” Dex replied, now taking on an equally dry tone. “Oh, yeah?” Dib fired back. “Prove it. Otherwise, I’ll conduct an autopsy on you and send the video footage to Mysterious Mysteries.” Dex had no idea what an ‘autopsy’ or ‘Mysterious Mysteries’ was, nor did he care to find out. Placing two of his fingers onto his temples and closing his eyes tightly, a round green crystal suddenly appeared in the middle of his forehead, projecting tinted holographic images of Edenoi’s current state, the Plague Patrollers, the labor camps, and Dregon, with Dex explaining all the way. After several minutes of silence, Dib spoke, his massive head trying to process all of the new information. “So, let me get this straight. You’re a prince who comes from a dying planet of insect aliens ruled by your evil uncle, and your mission is to bring hope to this world?” “Exactly.” Dex replied. “And I will ask this of you, young…” “Dib. Call me Dib.” the boy answered. He was sympathetic towards Dex’s cause, mostly because he didn’t seem to have any malicious intentions. Perhaps he could gain an ally in fighting Zim too. It’d certainly help, and given what he saw, Dex was certainly formidable. “Yes...Dib.” Dex repeated, the name rolling off his tongue smoothly. “Will you ally yourself with me in the fight for this planet?” “Well, I’m currently fighting to save this planet from two idiots. So it should be me asking you for an alliance.” Dib responded, much to Dex’s disapproval. “...Sorry.” “It is alright, Dib. Now, I will ask again. Will you ally yourself with me?” Dib pondered this for several minutes, weighing the pros and cons of such an alliance. Finally, he spat on one of his hands and extended it to Dex. The latter looked at him, perplexed. “What are you doing?” “This is how we keep promises here on Earth.” Dib explained. “Like a blood oath?” “Yeah, but well...y’know, without the blood.” With a nod showing he understood, Dex spat on his own hand and shook it with Dib’s, sealing their mutual alliance. Lo and behold, Zim appeared at that inopportune moment, laughing maniacally as he fired wildly at Dex and Dib, the two frantically trying to dodge the lasers from the Voot Cruiser. From within, Skoodge stared at Zim, absolutely confused. “Uhhh, Zim? Are you sure that Dib even has some kind of weapon? All I see are a couple of humans.” This earned him a death glare from the latter, Zim’s crimson-red eyes filled with rage. “ARE YOU QUESTIONING MY SUPERIOR JUDGEMENT, SKOODGE?! IF I SAY THE DIB-STINK HAS A WEAPON, THEN HE HAS A WEAPON!” “I’m not questioning your judgement, Zim.” Skoodge said firmly, his competence as an Invader overriding his cowardice and gullibility for once. “I’m just saying you might be mistaken.” Zim’s response was to grab Skoodge and promptly toss him out of the Voot Cruiser onto Dib’s lawn, where he lay in front of the large-headed human and Dex. The small Invader looked at the two, before turning to see Zim taunting him from within the ship. “OH, FUCK YOU, ZIM! FUCK! YOU!” He then turned back to Dib and Dex, his hands raised defensively. “Listen, Dib and...whoever you are…” “My name is Dex, strange creature.” the Edeni prince replied. “What is your name?” “I am Invader Skoodge of the Irkens. And that idiot who tossed me out of the ship is Zim.” “You don’t sound too happy.” Dex replied, trying to dodge Zim’s blasts. “Of course I’m not.” Skoodge replied. “I was dragged along here because Zim thinks Dib over here ordered some sort of...wea...pon…” He trailed off as he caught sight of Dex’s pod. So Zim was kinda right, Skoodge reasoned. But it doesn’t look like Dib ordered anything. If he did, it would have been obvious it was from Callnowia. Skoodge then looked between the Dex and the pod, and it all made sense to him. Though he had some suspicions. “Are...are you here to invade Earth too?” “What? No!” Dex replied, caught-off guard by Skoodge’s question. “I was sent here to protect the creatures that inhabit it.” He then watched as the left compartment of his pod open to reveal his motorcycle, seemingly having chosen that moment to do so. Getting onto it, Dex looked up at Zim as the alien kept firing. “Like so.” Before either Dib or Skoodge could say anything else, Dex pressed buttons on a small control panel beneath the bike’s handlebars, producing a mirror and minigun. As Zim kept firing, he noticed that the lasers were being redirected at him. “AH HA!” he declared. “I, THE MIGHTY ZIM, WAS RIGHT! THE DIB-STINK DID ORDER A WEAPON!” “It’s a motorcycle!” Gir added cheerfully, much to Zim’s irritation. “Just like the one Pig has!” “Whoa, that’s so cool!” Minimoose squeaked out. “Can we get a motorcycle, Zim? Huh? Huh?” “NO! SHUT UP, THE BOTH OF YOU!” Zim screeched, turning back to keep firing at Dex. “DO YOU THINK THOSE WEAPONS ARE EFFECTIVE AGAINST ME, PUNY HUMAN?! THIS IS IRKEN TECHNOLOGY, FAR SUPERIOR TO YOUR EARTH TECHNOLOGY!” “You’re forgetting something, Zim…” Dex replied. “WHAT?!” Zim shouted. “...I’m not human.” Dex finished, before the front wheel of the motorcycle launched itself off of the bike, large metal blades protruding from its sides, and struck at the Voot Cruiser, which tore through its engine and brought the ship down in a fiery explosion. Much to Dex’s amazement, Zim and his two robot companions survived, albeit Zim was not entirely unscathed. Approaching the wreckage, Dex stared at Zim with the intention to seriously injure the Irken. “I am Prince Dex of Edenoi. My mission is to…” “LIES! YOU’RE HERE TO STEAL MY MISSION, AREN’T YOU?!” Zim interrupted, pointing an accusatory finger at Dex. The latter promptly grabbed his hand and painfully twisted it. “YOU DARE HARM ME, THE GREATEST IRKEN INVADER?!” Zim kept it up despite the pain. “...Do you know what my first impression is of you, Zim?” Dex replied. “You are an arrogant little creature who believes himself to be a worthy adversary of the human race. You are, in the bluntest of terms, far from it. As the Chosen Hero of my home and now of Earth, my mission is to protect this world from beings like you. Let this be a lesson, Zim, that you will not forget.” Dex then proceeded to twist Zim’s other arm until it snapped, and broke both of his legs, leaving the Irken severely crippled. Looking at Gir and Minimoose, Dex simply told them, “Get him back to wherever he has set up base.” Zim would have protested the fact that Dex gave ‘his’ minions orders, but he was in far too much pain to do so. Gir hoisted Zim onto his back, while Minimoose (despite the laws of physics, but he was a Vortian superweapon after all) carried the flaming wreckage of the Voot Cruiser onto his. Together, the two robots flew back to their base, leaving Dex, Dib, and Skoodge just standing there. “Wow.” Skoodge finally said after several minutes of awkward silence. “I can’t believe you actually hurt Zim the way you did!” “...And you’re not angry about it?” Dex asked. “Nope!” Skoodge said cheerfully. “Far from it, actually. Zim’s pretty incompetent for an Invader. Me, on the other hand, I conquered Blorch all on my own.” “You...you conquered an entire planet?” Dex asked, bewildered. “But you don’t seem like the kind who would.” Skoodge stared at him blankly. “Is it because I’m short?!” “No, that’s not what I meant. I meant you seem too nice and friendly to be a conqueror.” “Well, you’re right about ‘nice and friendly’.” Dib said. “Skoodge is actually a pretty nice guy...BUT HE’S STILL TRYING TO TAKE OVER EARTH!” “...Wow. That’s pretty backhanded, Big Head.” Skoodge muttered. “MY HEAD’S NOT BIG!” Dib screamed, before it dawned on him that Dex was still naked. Which, given all that he had done, was incredibly impressive. And gross. But mostly impressive. “Come on. Let’s get you some clothes, Dex. I don’t need the cops being called and you getting arrested.” Dex nodded, following Dib into his home, but not before nodding at Skoodge, which seemed to confirm that they were now friends, for lack of a better term. Once Dib entered his house with Dex following behind him, the large-headed teenager sat next to his older sister, who was still concentrated on her video game. Gaz was about sixteen (two years older than Dib), with dark purple hair styled like a demon’s fanged jaws; appropriate, considering her demeanor. The most startling thing about her, as far as Dex was concerned, was what she was wearing: a rather revealing leather mini dress that seemed to fit around her well-curved (despite her near-sedentary lifestyle and fondness for pizza) figure, the front covered with intercrossing leather straps studded with diamonds, which themselves were part of a corset. From his perspective (and quite frankly, from any sane/rational person’s), this seemed to clash inappropriately with the fact that she was in her mid to late teens. Not that Gazleen Membrane, daughter of Moloch and granddaughter of Khorne and Slaanesh, cared. With the half-Chaos God heritage she had, she had very little reason to care for any sorts of standards people might have had...not that anyone would dare disobey her whims. Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. Once Dib entered the house and directed Dex to his room for some spare clothing, the latter re-emerged into the living room, dressed in a T-shirt and black jeans. Gaz glanced at him, snorted, then turned her attention back to the TV. “What is the matter with her?” Dex asked. “She’s...scary.” Dib replied. “Whatever you do, Dex, don’t piss her off.” Dex nodded, then sat next to Gaz, transfixed by the television. “Fascinating...are there actually earthlings small enough to get them in that circle-thing?” “Yes.” Gaz said dryly. “We big earthlings make the small ones fight to the death for our entertainment.” “Amazing. I never knew Earth had blood sports.” Dex replied, retrieving a piece of paper and a pen and writing all of this ‘information’ down. Gaz looked at Dib, a grin spreading across her face. “He's almost as gullible as you, little brother.” she whispered, loud enough for him to hear, but quiet enough for Dex to remain oblivious. “Yeah, true.” Dib replied. “...HEY! I AM NOT GULLIBLE!” “Could have fooled me.” Dex said casually. “YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!” Dib replied. “Hey, look over there. A Glaxnorp with one eyeball.” Dex replied, using common hyperbole used on Edenoi. Dib excitedly ran to get a camera. Gaz chuckled, grinning at Dex. “I like you already.” “I do not know your name, but as do I.” Dex replied, grinning back at her. “I'm Gaz. Gazleen, technically, but if you call me that, I'll kill you.” she said. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Gaz.” Dex said, attempting to kiss her hand, but Gaz growling and slapping him hard dissuaded him of that notion. “...Ow.” “Don't touch me.” She said, her eyes briefly turning red. “Don't. Ever. Touch me.” “Noted.” Dex replied. “In any case, I am Prince Dex of Edenoi, well...formerly of Edenoi.” “Formerly?” Gaz asked, somewhat interested. Dex nodded, using what Dib had dubbed the ‘mind crystal’ to in private, showing Gaz visions of Dregon, the Edenian wasteland, the Maggots, and the labor camps. Rather than shock and horror like Dib, Gaz had the opposite reaction. “I like him.” She said about Dregon. Immediately, Dex went pale as he realized what Gaz was, well...not entirely. “Just what exactly, are you?”. “Your worst nightmare.” Gaz replied. Before any blows could be had between them, they were interrupted by a news broadcast. Apparently a human-sized, humanoid spider, red and black with four arms and eight legs, was rampaging in the city and tearing people apart and eating them. “No...how can a tiny Spigore fit inside the cube thing...unless...no…” Dex muttered to himself. “Holy shit…” Gaz said, looking a bit disgusted. “I thought you liked Dregon.” Dex said. “That is one of his Insectivores. Vile beasts.” “Doesn't mean I like watching people get eaten.” Gaz replied. “Are you able to tell me just where exactly Spigore is attacking?” Dex said urgently. “Couldn't tell you.” Gaz said, promptly losing interest in the situation and going on her phone. “You don’t care if Dregon rules over this planet, but I do.” Dex replied. Positioning his hands on his waist to activate his belt, it began glowing as Dex began making strange signals. “Ectophase activate!” he called out. “HENSHIN!” Immediately, the belt began flashing rapidly as it enveloped Dex in ruby-red light, instantaneously transforming into an armored green warrior; his helmet was black aside from the eye lenses, which were blood red and trimmed by silver; the mouthpiece was pure silver, with no indication as to where Dex’s mouth was located. The rest of the armor was green, aside from the shoulder pads, hands themselves (albeit accented by silver wristpieces, a silver spot between the armor’s ‘abs’, and waist, which were black. “I am the Chosen Hero, assigned to protect this world from Dregon and his monsters.” he spoke, his voice now distorted and deep as to hide his identity. Gaz was about to say something sarcastic, before the wall exploded. Dex looked at Gaz, though she could sense his sheepishness. “Apologies. My grandfather was the Chosen Hero before me, and explosions always happened after transforming.” “You might want to move to the side.” Gaz said. “Why?” Dex asked, but he immediately got his answer when Spigore sent him flying and smashing the TV. Gaz reacted to this by punching the creature hard enough to send it flying fifty feet. The news crew that had been following it let out a collective ‘Ahhhh!’ of amazement, before turning away from the Membrane house and running like the wind the other way, hoping to catch more footage of Spigore. Soon after, Dib ran downstairs, but as he was about to complain about how the noise scared the Glaxnorp, he stared blankly at the destroyed wall, TV, and the armored Dex. “OK...three things. What happened, how will we explain this to Dad, and who’s this guy?” Dex immediately facepalmed. Gaz wasn't there to snark at Dib; she was busy beating the Spigore to death on the front lawn. The poor creature didn't stand a chance, flailing and shrieking as she punched it again and again, causing blood to spray. Dex ran out onto the lawn, getting into a battle stance as Spigore weakly turned to face him. “Rider...KICK!” Dex yelled out as he launched himself, right foot pressing outwards as he landed on Spigore; the pressure of high-powered foot to face causing Spigore to tremble slightly before it exploded in a geyser of blood, destroyed organs, and tissue. The news crew, who had somehow realized they were going the wrong way, cheered as they focused on Dex, or as the news reporter, a ditzy, blonde, and curvy woman dubbed him, the Masked Rider, even as they and their cameras were covered in blood. Gaz stood up, casually stripping and walking back inside to take a shower. Ten minutes later, she came back out, wearing a robe, her hair down, straight, and carefully brushed. She promptly went back inside, Dex silently screaming that he did not want this many reporters swarming him. Gaz went into the kitchen, grabbing a can of soda from the fridge and opening it before taking a few small sips. That was when she realized something. … … … ...Dib ate the last slice of pizza. … … … …”DIB! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!” Dib did not answer; he had already ran, shoving past Dex and the swarm of reporters. Gaz followed moments later, tossing reporters aside without slowing down as she chased her brother. Dex ran after them, whatever reporters were left following him as well. Dregon could see all this from his fortress-ship, but he was not displeased. “Gee, boss!” Fact chirped in. “I told you we should have sent them all in!” “Duh, yeah, boss! Wouldn’t it have been better?” Twinsect replied. “Be silent, you gibbering morons.” Dregon growled. Dealing with Fact and Twinsect gave him migraines more often than he cared to admit. “Yes, be silent.” Veuve agreed, snuggling her lord and lover close to her. “Though I do agree. Would it not have been better to send the Insectivores all at once, perhaps into different Earth cities? From how I’ve observed humans thus far, they are incredibly dumb.” “I mean, it isn’t like they’re not already destroying themselves.” Fact observed. “Pollution, advanced technology everywhere…” “That is one of the reasons I didn't send all of them.” Dregon said. “Conquering mankind would be trivially easy...without the exiled Prince Dex in the way. He needs to die first.” “So we keep attacking the same city.” Fact concluded. “...Buuut what’s the other reason you don’t send all of them?” “Because,” Veuve replied. “The Insectivores are still wild beasts. They would attack each other all at once.” “I also don't want to slaughter innocents.” Dregon added. “Not because of morality, but because it will draw too much attention to us.” Indeed, the rampage of Spigore had attracted attention from not only the news (who would, thanks to the efforts of Professor Membrane, brush it off as something ‘rational’) but also a group known as the Swollen Eyeball Network, a secret society that was the amalgamation of every conspiracy known to man, ranging from the Church of the SubGenius and Discordianism to Illuminati and JFK theorists. Professor Membrane was one of the men in charge of the Network. He, and the rest of the Directors of the Network, knew of Zim's ‘invasion’, but regarded him as a non-threat. Dib didn’t know any of this, having brushed off his recruitment into the organization as recognition of his genius. But he had gotten into the Network, under the code name ‘Mothman’ thanks to his father. And now, they were interested in Dex. Naturally, how they approached dealing with Dex, and the foes that pursued him, sparked debates amongst the Directors. Agent Darkbootie, who acted as Dib’s mentor (if to some degree reluctantly sometimes), advised they approach the future ‘Agent Hopper’ directly. Another, Malaclypse the Youngest, suggested they kidnap him and ‘induct’ him, quote, “Clockwork Orange-style”. Membrane shot this idea down. “But Director, you do not understand. He is a non-Discordian. A greyface.” Malaclypse replied. “Malaclypse, we get it. You believe everyone is part of the Greyface conspiracy, even fellow Discordians like myself, as well as Our Lady Eris.” Darkbootie said dryly. “FNORD!” Malaclypse replied. Darkbootie just groaned loudly. “Can we just wipe his memory and reassign him to guard R’lyeh?” he asked Membrane. “I have half a mind to wipe all of your memories.” Membrane said, sighing. “I am surrounded by idiots…” “You mean the entire Earth?” the small Membrane hand puppet the professor kept with him at all times snarked. “Yes.” The Professor said dryly. “And the morons on the Board of Directors.” “Getting back to business,” Darkbootie interrupted. “What are we to do about this Dex fellow?” “Observe him, at least for now.” Membrane replied. “Understood.” The next day, Dex noted as he made his way towards the local high school, there was a lot of gossip about the ‘mysterious new hero’. Membrane rationalized Spigore as an insane man in a costume, albeit a realistic one. And everyone seemed to fall for it. Gaz hated the fact that Dex got all the attention. He killed the creature, but Gaz had beaten it within an inch of its life beforehand. As she, Dib, and Dex walked into homeroom, she noted that Mr. Cobain was, as usual, smoking a cigarette and his feet were on the desk. Technically, this was against school conduct, but what Gaz was currently wearing was also against school conduct. Gaz copied him, putting her feet up on her desk and lighting one of her own cigarettes. Kurt gave her a thumbs up before coughing hard, getting everyone’s attention. “OK, kids...I have to read this ‘welcome the new student’ script, so pay attention.” And so, he read out, “I am pleased to welcome…” “Dex. Dex Membrane.” the ex-Edeni prince answered. “I am, er…” “He’s recently adopted.” Dib replied. “Did I say you could talk?” Kurt replied. “...Sorry.” “Anyways, I wanna welcome Dex Membrane to our school.” Kurt then sent someone he didn’t care too much about to the ‘underground classrooms’, making a desk open for Dex, next to Gaz. “OK, now that that’s over...what to do...what to do…” Kurt muttered. “...Here we go. Everyone, we’re gonna read out history reports. Who wants to go first?” “ME! CHOOSE ZIM, TEACHER HUMAN! CHOOSE ZIM! ZIM IS ME! ZIM IS ME!” a certain Irken shouted out. Dex noted that, as a ‘disguise’, Zim wore just a simple wig and fake eyes. “Fine...if it’ll get you to shut the fuck up, you go first Zim.” Kurt muttered, stressfully lighting another cigarette. Gaz found herself briefly considering suicide as Zim read his report. His voice was the most annoying sound she had ever heard. His report, of course, consisted of his...rather warped and nonsensical version of the Cold War. Kurt poured his coffee mug full of whiskey, and downed it. Gaz went next, and read out her well-researched report on the Siege of Leningrad, making sure to emphasize that some starving civilians ate their own children. “Mmmm, babies are delicious!” Zim interrupted in an effort to act ‘human’. “Zim, if you do not shut the fuck up, I swear…” Kurt muttered. “Most people don't eat their own kids, dipshit.” Gaz said dryly to Zim. “Of course they do!” Zim insisted, before Kurt threw the empty bottle of Jack at his head, knocking him out. “Jesus Christ, he's annoying.” Gaz said, returning to her desk. Kurt gave her an ‘A+++’. Gaz liked him. They had a lot of things in common, and he knew of her heritage. Gaz had decided not to ask her father how, exactly, he had caught her mother's eye. The Slaaneshi part of her attracted a lot of males and females, much to her dislike at times. Gaz, in reality, was only into girls. This made her more receptive to advances from females. Her ‘grandparent’ Slaanesh would be proud of how many females she seemed to bed. Gaz had killed several boys who wouldn't take no for an answer. All of these deaths looked like accidents, of course. Not that anyone would have asked, anyway. People were just too terrified of the ‘scary girl’ to suspect her. Two murders that did not look like accidents were committed after a particularly foolhardy pair of fanatically Christian students, one boy and one girl, tried to convert Gaz, who was a lifelong pagan. The girl was found nailed to a cross outside a nearby church, and the boy was found strangled by his own cross necklace. Gaz, of course, was still not suspected; the leaders of this particular church were, however. The religion Gaz followed was...unique. She was, as stated before, a pagan, worshipping the ‘Old Gods’, as she called them, including many of the Greek, Egyptian and Norse deities. As well as the Old Testament God. She thought of the New Testament God as ‘too soft.’ Now the God of the Old Testament appealed to her very much. The Chaos Gods, in contrast, didn't appeal to her at all. She could feel the presence of the Old Gods when she made offerings and prayed, in a way she couldn't explain. The Chaos Gods gave her nothing but silence. Even her own mother ignored her. The only people she felt remotely close to were Kurt and her father. And Dib, despite how much he annoyed her. She wasn’t sure about Dex, though. Later that day, Gaz took a nap, and as she slumbered, her mind was pulled to a place where her mother was waiting. Moloch resembled a beautiful, if strong-looking, woman. Her eyes were a mix of red and purple, and she was dressed in a toga that revealed a bit of skin. Gaz promptly punched her in the face. “Ah, hello, Gazleen. Life has been treating you well, yes?” “Go fuck yourself.” “Gladly.” Moloch replied, doing just that. Gaz punched her again, this time breaking her nose. Moloch glared at her. “Insolent child. You dare disrespect Me, your mother, that way?” Moloch roared. “You're not my mother.” Gaz said. “You're a whore.” Moloch summoned several Steeds, who proceeded to attack Gaz. They proceeded to beat her to a bloody pulp, retreating once Gaz had fallen to the ground and stopped moving. Moloch gazed at her, but before she could do anything, Gaz was awoken by Dex, who had been sitting on the couch. Gaz kicked him in the face before falling back asleep. As soon as she saw Moloch again, she started strangling her. Moloch let out several gasps of both pain and pleasure, euphorically encouraging Gaz to strangle her harder. “You disgust me.” Gaz said, releasing her. “My father adored you, treated you like a queen, and you repaid him by leaving as soon as I was born. I grew up without a mother because of you. Or a father, for that matter. Dad threw himself into his work, and drinking, as soon as I could walk and talk, all because of you.” “I cannot bother myself with a mortal or his kin, you know. I am a Chaos God, albeit a minor one. I have better things I must worry about.” Moloch said. “Besides...history repeats itself.” “Then why reach out to me now?” Gaz asked. “16 years of silence, and you come visit now. Why?” “Because I see potential in you, my child. Potential to transcend your meat body and become a Daemoness.” “Potential? You mean I have the potential to be as much of a selfish cunt as you? Thanks, I'll pass.” Gaz said. “I don't want to be like you, mother. I intend to settle down someday with a girl I care deeply about. The thought of running around in some twisted form and screwing everything that moves doesn't appeal to me. So, kindly, go fuck yourself.” “You will become a Daemoness in service to me, daughter. I will see to it. But for now, farewell.” Gaz woke up to see she had broken Dex's nose when she kicked him. “Oh, you’re awake.” Dex said, having begun using his ‘magic’, for lack of a better term, to heal his wound. “Are you going to injure me again? Or are you saving that for your mother?” “I was talking in my sleep, wasn't I?” “Yes, you were.” Dex said. “It is alright. I never knew my mother or father either. Dregon killed them.” “I'm sorry.” Gaz replied, not sure who was more surprised by her saying it. “Truly. I may be violent and scary sometimes..okay, a lot of the time...but that doesn't mean I'm incapable of caring.” “I can see it in your eyes, you know.” Dex said. “If I’m honest, I see how jealous you are of me. And I understand completely. I don’t want the fight with Dregon to be sensationalized. I would rather be seen as a symbol instead of an idol.” “You should be honored.” she replied, smiling a bit. “You're now one of four people I actually like.” This certainly caught Dex off-guard. “Am...am I hearing you correctly?” “Yep.” “Then, in that case, may I call you my sister?” Dex said, offering his hand to her. “Yes.” Gaz said. “You still can't call me Gazleen, though.” “Done.” Dex said. “Now, tell me about this ‘pizza’ you enjoy so much, will you?” To be continued...
  14. OK, I can definitely see where you come from on this one, Wumbo. But due to nostalgia, I'll have to politely disagree with you on this; I like Tom's original just fine (chorus aside), and in terms of the verses, his version is superior due to the bite he brings to them. But because I grew up with Cars, I like this version sliiiightly better.
  15. A not quite-spin off from PR: MVF, this topic is where we ( @GreyKnight151, @4EverGreen, and I) will write shorter, more comedic/cracky ideas of dubious canonicity, starring the characters of PR: MVF.
  16. giphy.gif

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Renegade the Unicorn

      Renegade the Unicorn

      She's my waifu for a reason, buddy.

      ...IMO, I think she and Pooh would be awesome friends.

    3. Aquatic Konquest

      Aquatic Konquest

      REQUEST - Discoveries by spongefan257
      ...or she might think he's a weirdo.
      (I should redraw this, goddang. This is really old.)

    4. Renegade the Unicorn

      Renegade the Unicorn

      "Pay no attention to me, for I am a little raincloud."

      "...No you're not."

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