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Renegade the Unicorn

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Renegade the Unicorn last won the day on March 29

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About Renegade the Unicorn

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    Give us a pound, or we'll have to pull the trigger.
  • Birthday 01/05/1998

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    Renegade the Unicorn
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    What you're reading right now.
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    is total crap.

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  • Location
    Live from Antarctica
  • Favorite Episode
    Tea at the Treedome
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  1. So, I know that I said I was leaving SBC, but I want to say one last thing before I leave you all behind me.

    I'm bequeathing PR: MVF to @4EverGreen, and allowing @jjsthekid and @Steel Sponge ownership of the rest of my works for archival purposes/to use as they see fit. That is all. Thank you guys for the last 4 years or so. It's been wild.

  2. I've already said this on Discord, but I'll announce it here too: I'm leaving SBC. I barely use the site anymore, and I've honestly just grown apart from the community as a whole. I have nothing against anyone here personally, it's just time for me to move on. If you want to keep in contact with me, my Discord and Twitter info are in my profile; I'll also be on MLP Forums for anyone who's also part of that site.


    1. Hayden


      Thanks for always keeping it real, man

    2. Inanimate Carbon Rod

      Inanimate Carbon Rod

      I'll be missing you around, Blake. We had some fine times in our little ongoing PM.

    3. Danny DeVito

      Danny DeVito

      see ya later bran flakes

  3. I haven't, but I've heard lots of good things about it (first couple of episodes aside). It looks like it tries to eschew typical adult animation formulas, and that's something we need more of.
  4. For a sec, I thought you were talking about this Ninja. Anyways, I've seen this show, and I love it. Gimmick aside, it really puts some former A-listers (and B and C-listers) back into the spotlight and let's us see that they have some serious talent.
  5. The Tale of Renegade and His Disenlightenment, What Actually Happened, and the Actual Question of "What Is Discordianism?" ( feat. The Bavarian Illuminati and Their Delicious Bavarian Cream Doughnuts) -----fnord----- The Tale of Renegade, How Eris Found Him, and His (Dis)Enlightenment To Her Word There was once a young man named Renegade, and he had been facing problems his entire life. These problems, in spite of what they'd do to most people, generally didn't affect him. Renegade was born bullheaded and fiery, and in spite of the obstacles that befell him, he soldiered on. And yet, he was unhappy. Not greyfaced, just...unhappy. And he didn't know why. That was, until She came to him one day in his dreams. Lady Eris had watched over Renegade his entire life just as she had with all of her little bastards (and she means this as a term of endearment), even if he didn't know it yet. She came to him in a familiar guise, one he had seen in a cartoon as a child, and this pleased him very much. "Hello, Renegade." Eris said, holding a jazz cigarette wrapped in gold flake in one hand and a bunless hot dog with the works in the other. "It's so nice to finally meet you again. Hot dog? Smoke?" Renegade stared at her, before taking the golden jazz cigarette and lighting it. Most people would have been freaking out and asking questions, but not Renegade. He was just going with the flow. "So, why am I here? Or rather, why are you here?" "I'm here," Eris stated plainly to him through a mouthful of prime Esskay frankfurter. "to ask you a simple question. Are you unhappy, my child?" "I am." Renegade answered with honesty. "2019 has not been a good year for me, and I just want to find something fulfilling. I have been for years." "Then come with me, and I shall enlighten you." Renegade took his hand into Goddess', and she took him back to her place. There, they drank the finest Kallisti Golden Apple Ale, ate the finest hot dogs, and when all was said and done, she taught him the Eristic, Aneristic, and Sacred Chao Principles. And so, Renegade was enlightened. -----fnord----- What Actually Happened To say that life has not been kind to me would be the understatement of the late 20th century. I was born prematurely and nearly died from the complications of my birth (my placenta was damaged while I was in the womb, and to prevent me from suffocating they had to give my mother, only 19 at the time and having already had my brother not three years before, a Caesarian section), have had cerebral palsy my entire life, didn't have a great childhood thanks primarily to my biological father (who struggled with hereditary bipolar disorder that eventually led to a suicide by hanging last year), struggled in school due to undiagnosed Aspergers (I wasn't diagnosed until the eighth grade) and a generally apathetic and sometimes abusive educational system, and just generally having no social skills to speak of. So to say I had a crisis of faith is putting it lightly. I didn't discover Discordianism until at the very least a couple of years ago, and it took me a good long while to fully understand and embrace it as my faith (thanks to my friend Randimaxis). My reasons for embracing Eris as my Goddess are twofold: said not easy life as well as a general dissatisfaction with organized religion as a whole. I felt that, while a good system on some level, the Abrahamic religions have slowly been corrupted over the centuries into the complete opposite of what was originally intended. It had become greyfaced. Thus, I felt that Discordianism, a truly "back to basics" kind of faith as it were, was perfect for me. And honestly, I feel all the happier because of it. -----fnord----- What Actually IS Discordianism? The short answer is: whatever you want it to be. As for the long answer? As a "disorganized religion", Discordianism bases its entire system entirely on open interpretation. Having very few concrete rules to speak of, what the Erisian religion is or even means depends entirely upon the person you ask. Some, like myself, treat it as a serious (to a point) neopagan religion that's somewhere between Wicca, Thelema, and Zen Buddhism with humor. Others treat it as a philosophy like Taoism, being completely agnostic and viewing Eris in a more metaphoric light. Others just treat it as a joke. All of these and more are completely valid and diverse, and none of them are entirely wrong. As long as you laugh, Eris doesn't care what you believe in. All she wants out of you is to playfully upset the status quo and not much else. -----fnord----- CONSPIRACY! Now we get into territory that is both uncomfortable and controversial for some: conspiracy theories. Unfortunately, conspiracies are inherent to Discordianism, considering both Greg Hill and Kerry Thornley were on some level connected to the John F. Kennedy assassination. A copy of the first edition of the Principia belonging to Greg was found in possession of the Warren Commission, and Kerry Thornley knew Lee Harvey Oswald personally since both were in the same Marines unit. Thornley eventually devolved into paranoid schizophrenia later in life, convinced he'd been brainwashed by the CIA as a backup sleeper agent to kill Kennedy. As for myself, I feel I should let a post (slightly expanded here) I made on an MLP Forums topic relating to conspiracy theories speak for itself: Now that we have the elephants out of the room, let's discuss the basic idea of conspiracy theories in Discordianism, and what they mean. If you recall, the concept of the Aneristic Principle is that of "order", represented by conspiracies such as the Bavarian Illuminati. The Eristic Principle is that of "disorder", represented by the Discordian Society. If we are to take the tenet that both are mere illusions literally, then the metaphor becomes clear - the establishment cannot survive without a little chaos to shake things up, and the people that demand changes for the betterment of society cannot survive without an establishment to change. So, look a little bit closer the next time you see something just a bit off. It might just be a conspiracy in need of infiltrating and mischief making. Next time, I get into some more...esoteric beliefs.
  6. On Morality OK, so this is not what was promised at the end of the last chapter, but I figured I'd outline the relationship between Discordianism and morality before I forget. Morality is...a tricky thing to define, especially in the context of the Goddess. Even organized religion has a difficult time trying to define what, exactly, morality is (hence the concept of "sin" and an eternity of eternal torment; it creates a sense of fear and distrust, and the rather unfortunate implication of God trying to impose His will-and therefore Order and "control"-onto a species that is defined by free will-and therefore Disorder and "freedom"). However, I feel the Wiccans hit the nail on the head: An’ ye harm none, do what ye will. What that means is, in Modern English, "Do what you want, as long as no one is harmed". Just as was stated in the Introduction with "Nothing is true, everything is permitted", that doesn't mean you should do literally whatever you want and consequences can go eat a big fat hot dog. The Wiccans also came up with a Law of Threefold Returns to discourage this kind of thinking: it operates under the standby that for every action, there is a greater and opposite reaction, sort of like karma; do good things and good things will happen to you. Do bad things and Lady Eris will bitchslap the shit out of you. ---fnord--- Just like the Judeo-Christians, we Discordians base our code of conduct and ethics on a set of ten (Paradoxical) Commandments, outlined in The Book of Eris by one Dr. Ken M. Keith. The Paradoxical Commandments are as follows: There are also four cardinal virtues discussed a few pages later: Together, these virtues grant oneself the Five Blessings of Eris: health, wealth, happiness, longevity, and peace. And moreover, these five points (the Rede, the Law of Threefold Returns, the Paradoxical Commandments, the Four Virtues, and Five Blessings) form a collective ethical standard I like to call the 23 Pragmas of Eris. Pragmas are one of the five kinds of "-ma"; we'll get into further detail about those later. But anyways, now that we know what the Pragmas are, what happens when they aren't followed? Or rather, when others don't follow them? For that, we'll need to discuss the take that Goddess Eris is most well known for: the Original Snub. -----fnord----- So, I'm pretty sure all of us know this story. Guy named Peleus meets sea-nymph named Thetis, and they decide to get hitched. In celebration, Zeus decides to throw a party on Mount Olympus (called Limbo Peak by us Discordians), and invites all the gods and goddesses. All except for Eris. Now, as we know, Eris isn't a bad sort; she just loves playing pranks and upsetting the status quo in other ways. To Zeus, though, this was all the justification needed to not invite her. But, or course, this was just because the Olympians were petty, omnipotent children who just couldn't handle their precious little bubble being popped by anyone or anything. Nevertheless, Eris decided to go anyway in spite of being snubbed, out of the kindness of her heart. She wasn't going to stay too long anyway; she'd give Thetis her gift (a golden apple inscribed with the words "to the Prettiest One") then leave. Unfortunately, when Eris got there, she was confronted by Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite, who all began to taunt and leer at her gift. Having no other choice, Eris threw the apple towards the banquet, where the three goddesses dove for it, arguing amongst each other as to who was the prettiest. Eris, nonetheless delighted with the chaos she had just caused, took her leave and stole the hot dogs cooked by Hestia to partake in a feast of her own. Unfortunately, Hestia had steamed the buns and made them soggy. And so, that is why Eris forbids hot dog buns except on Fridays. -----fnord----- So, what have we learned today about morality? That, like every other faith, Discordianism has its standards and codes of conduct that should be easy to get with enough common sense. But with the story of the Original Snub, we also learn that karma is an absolute bitch. Anyways, next time, we're actually gonna get to all the stuff I promised last time. And remember, Goddess loves you!
  7. If I wasn't surprised before, I am now. #1!? THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!
  8. I've kiiinda made it well known by this point, but I've recently gotten into Discordianism. A lot of people seem to just see it as a joke and nothing more, but that's only giving it half credit. It's more like a postmodern Zen Buddhism with neopagan and occult elements. It certainly has humor and playful chaos as a central focus, but it isn't entirely a joke. in a sentence, Discordianism is "a joke disguised as a religion and a religion disguised as a joke" . After so many years having to ensure all the bullshit life's thrown at me since birth, I've found something that truly brings me peace and happiness.
  9. jj my dude, congrats on 10 years. You were one of my first friends here when I joined SBC literally a day or two after my HS graduation. You were the one to support me starting on Power Rangers: Multiverse Force, and ultimately the one to get my spark going for it again. Even in my worst moments, you never gave up on me. Thank you.
  10. On Prayer and Meditation For today's entry in the Godspell, I want to discuss prayer and meditation, and how it relates to Discordianism. The concept of prayer is defined as "a solemn request for help or expression of thanks addressed to God or an object of worship." Therefore, one should (theorectically) pray to Goddess Herself whenever possible, right? AHAHAHAHAHAHA. WRONG. Let me clarify something for ya: Eris has better things to do than to listen to her cosmic voicemail all day, going through each little prayer, whether they be actually important or not. Now, I'm not discouraging you from praying to Eris outright; in fact, I strongly believe that prayer is a powerful force and can accomplish miracles if done correctly. However, to pray constantly and for every single thing is not only foolish, but dangerous. Malaclypse the Younger explains thusly in the Principia Discordia: See, here's a little known fact/belief about prayer, at least in my opinion: it's a ritualized form of chaos magick, one that has (in one form or another) been connected to religion since prehistoric times. It is inherently connected to the eldritch and cosmic forces of the universe, and should therefore be approached cautiously and with a solid idea of what the hell you're doing. That is why we Discordians seldom pray to Our Lady: it can be freely abused and have disastrous consequences. So if you really want to pray to Eris, make sure it's damn important enough for her to hear. So, if prayer is out of the question, and you do want to show devotion to Eris, then what do you do? The answer can be summed up in one word: meditation. Even when Eris isn't communicating directly with you via pineal gland, her presence can still be felt everywhere and anywhere. Yes, even in your bedroom and bathroom. Don't ask - she just likes to watch. ANYWAYS. Considering Discordianism's roots in Buddhist and Hindu practices, it really shouldn't come as a surprise that meditation is more viable than direct prayer like in organized religion. Meditation allows us to grow closer to Goddess and therefore Chaos itself. It also provides an eased state of mind and body, perfect for those with anxiety and a lack of focus like myself. So without further ado about nothing, here's a five step guide to meditation! -----fnord----- Clear your mind, and get into the lotus position. Maybe put on some relaxing meditation music. Focus on a specific mantra; mine is "There is no Goddess but Goddess, and She is my Goddess. Hail Lady Eris. Hail Discordia. Fnord." You can also use Zen koans or even the classic "Aum/Om" Close your eyes. Breathe in and out. Do all these steps for between 10 and 23 minutes per day, 3-5 times a day. -----fnord----- Should you follow all these steps, you should feel a tingly feeling throughout your body, and the feeling of your soul connecting to the rest of the universe, if only for those briefest of moments. You'll end up feeling more relaxed, sharp-minded, and have a deeper understanding of the cosmos. Join me next time as I discuss the story of my conversion to the Erisian faith, what Discordianism can mean to you (yes, you), and the conspiracy theories all around us.
  11. I was never big on basketball, but I remember when Kobe was at his peak in terms of popularity and performance. To know he was likely about to make a comeback makes this news even more painful. I hope that he and his daughter find peace wherever they are.
  12. This is actually really surprising to me. How does what essentially amounts to a work of humorous self-help get to #3 in just a day or two? In any case, it means a lot.
  13. Parable of the Monk: A Lesson in Zen and Its Truths Greetings all, Renegade here. I was looking around for the next topic in Discordianism to discuss, when my friend and fellow pope Randimaxis pointed me to a parable from the Principia, page 0005, entitled "A Zen Story". Unfamiliar with this particular bit of the Unholely Book, I skimmed over it, then read it carefully. I realized this would be a perfect object lesson in Objective and Subjective truths, and so now here we are. Now, for your reading displeasure, "A Zen Story", by one Camden Benares, the Count of Five and Headmaster of the Camp Meeker Cabal. Have you finished reading? Yes? Good. Now what can we take away from this parable? The answer is both complicated and simple. The complicated answer is that there is no "right" answer - Zen parables are open to interpretation, after all, and this one is no exception. On one hand, the Zen Master could be trying to show this young man that peoples' opinions don't exactly matter; after all. what are wordly opinions compared to seeing the word truly as it is and finding enlightenment. On the other hand, the "Zen Master" could've just been a Discordian pulling a fast one on a greyface for shits and giggles (or gits and shiggles, either one works). But the answer, at least to me, is both at the same time. By trying (and succeeding) at elaborately baiting and switching the greyfaced young man for his own amusement, the Discordian "Zen Master" ultimately accomplishes a larger goal: to get the young man to see that nothing is serious and that everything is humorous in one form or another. Thus, the young man goes from a greyface confused by an illogical and disorderly world to someone who sees the world as it truly is - taking itself too seriously as he had, whilst also being chaotic and free-spirited underneath that "serious" facade. Ultimately, the Parable of the Monk is a lesson in objective truth, subjective truth, and ultimately Truth with a capital T. Objective truth: defined as what can be seen as fact and nothing else. The young man is serious, and views things from an objective point of view. This objective view sees him take the monk's words at face value in hopes of trying to make sense of a nonsensical country. Subjective truth, defined as what others see as the truth. The young man recieves various answers from other people on how best he can ease his troubled mind, the monk believes meditation is the answer, the young man's worries as to what others will think of him, and the two onlookers' conclusion that he is both a holy man and a shithead. Truth, defined by Discordianism as neither objective or subjective, but Truth as is. The young man finally reaches enlightenment by the observation that he is both a holy man for meditating as long as he has, and a shithead for falling into the monk's prank as easily as he had. And so, he begins his journey anew, free from his worries and wiser in the long run. And, overall, the moral of the story is "Don't take everything you see at face value or take everything so seriously. Find things that make you feel happy, and ask questions about the world around you; the answers might surprise you." I have said all I have wanted or needed to say, hence this entry's rather short length compared to the last. I bid you farewell.
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