Patty Hype is insanely quotable. I'm not sure how much of an influence Pride Patties has had over that, but come on, look at these: "What is the theme here? Underwater?" "It's not tainted meat, it's painted meat!" "I can't see my forehead." "Sometimes, we have to go deep inside ourselves to solve our problems." "Uhh... I dunno." "Look what I got under me kilt!" There's also some great moments with SpongeBob taking ownership of the Krusty Krab, and Patrick throughout the whole episode, really. I'm glad to see this has made the list after so long. I wish I remembered It's a SpongeBob Christmas enough to talk about it. Next. Looks like Plankton's Army is like another Glitters or Waiting that we saw on my list. I'm still glad it's managed to defend its turf though, because this really is a great episode. Plankton's plan here feels like a final culmination of everything he's done, and he's even motivated by his past failures. The hillbilly cousins are all a ton of fun and I love their contrast with their superintelligent cousin. Maybe this episode will get another boost in popularity someday but we'll see. One Krabs' Trash is the first to make my list. I really can't think of a better opening than him selling literal trash to unsuspecting people, complete with a shitty made-up story for each one. His vain struggles to try and reclaim that hat are some of the funniest moments of the whole show. I enjoy how he starts off simple with "That hat makes you look like a girl." all the way up to robbing a damn grave. The cemetery fight sequence makes for a great ending too. I love the mental picture of Krabs cutting down thousands of skeletons only for it to be for nothing.
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@SICKO MORE has pointed out an error in the list! Turns out I forgot to tally BeachBob's 21 points for the episode Library Cards, pushing it several spots up. Consider this an official addendum. 58. Library Cards, 48 points 3 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank #5 @BeachBob95) (NEW) These are the new rankings for #58 onward: 58. Library Cards 59. The Battle of Bikini Bottom 60. Tentacle-Vision 61. The Sponge Who Could Fly 62. Restraining SpongeBob 63. Good Neighbors 64. New Fish in Town Assuming this is the only error left, that marks the REAL end of this list! Now go back to submitting for best list.
2. "Mr. Krabs, if my poopy baby isn't welcome here, then I'm not staying either!" Squid Baby, 543 points 31 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank #1 @Wintermelon43) (+4) Coffee: I can’t think of any Spongebob episode that I’m against it’s existence as much as I do for Squid Baby.There’s a lot of dumb episodes,there’s a lot of boring episodes,there’s a fair chunk of unoriginal ones,but Squid Baby is an episode that I legit call downright offensive alone for the fact that it’s exists.Yes,The Main Drain and Truth or Square are both still my least favorite episodes for begin more boring/lazier,but it’s going to be a lie if I’m gonna say that they destroyed my passion for the show more than Squid Baby did once.Just look at the premise alone:"After a head injury,Squidward became a Baby",as someone who thinks that any premise shouldn’t be judged without execution,I cannot imagine how such idea can fit into lore and universe of Spongebob even for a seasons those times.Unfortunately,confusing premise didn’t delivered awfulness of the execution even for the half... Let’s start with an sea-elephant in the room,yes,whatever happened to Squidward in episode for the whole time is an portrayer of a head injury that is a legit trauma in real world.This is a very horrible,horrible injury that can stuck with person for the rest of his days without letting any peace or joy in life.By episode’s logic,pointing out that and made character suffering because of that is automatically funny and worthy for repeating that for the rest of episode.And now it’s not a problem that Spongebob is a kids show and it’s can’t take such an serious topics,and make jokes out of it either,but it’s not a deal if you have a TV-Y rating or TV-MA,this attempt at jokes are absolutely lazy at worst,unforgivably sadistic at worst.As much as I despise term as "Squidward Torture Porn"and second graders who use it nowadays,this episode is an exception of the rule.Episodes like Boating Buddies or Ink Lemonade also based on just bushing Squidward from all sides because "lol fuck off and laugh",but violence in those episodes at least felt cartoony on any extent,in Squid Baby,all of what happened with Squidward feels like an actual pain and suffering that can be taken by people with the same injury,witch is absolutely disgusting and intolerable on universal degree.But even without this fact,even if you don’t want to believe that episode offended people with mental challenging problems,it’s still the grossest episode that show has as for date,the entire episode filled up with a rivers of saliva,obnoxious crying over and over again,and let’s not forget a close ups of a poop diaper for a minute.Even Pet or Pests with it’s horrendous animation never made me feel that disturbed and aggravated as Squid Baby ever did. But believe me or not,Squidward isn’t the only one who was braindead for the entire episode.Because we also have Spongebob and Patrick on the stage as well.We have a ton and a little wagon of episodes where those two characters are flanderizated as sin,but Squid Baby is the first,and only legit time when I can safely say that both acting like a complete retards.In the good seasons,those characters had a vibe of a child,but they mixed up with that a balance between some smart and adequate decisions for not making everything awkward all around.But here,for what balance we can even thinking for?!Even before we get into Squidward’s injury,the beginning of episode is about Spongebob and Patrick playing with toddlers’ toys as juvenile,sickening,jarring as possible for episode...but it’s not even the worst thing that they did here.In defense(for some nonexistent reason)people say that the fact Spongebob and Patrick take look for Squidward is a good quality and made episode "not as bad",and I don’t buy this argument at all.All of what both did is just making situation even worse than it was before and begin ignorant dumbasses when something horrible happened to Squidward once again. And for the cherry of the cake here let’s not forget how despicable Mr Krabs was in episode,we have an Ol’ long history of this character begin a cheap scumbag,even back in a very early seasons,he was over-exaggerated with his love of money and treatment for employees,sometimes it was funny,sometimes it was annoying,sometimes it was Squid Baby.This is the biggest middle figure that snow pulled out with how Mr Krabs doesn’t care for situation that character stuck into,he clearly was warned that Squidward has a head injury but he doesn’t give a shit at all and his pure answer ended up begin "I don't care if he has seaweed-for-brains.He needs to be behind that register.",or "Oh,that's it! Get that poopy baby out of me restaurant!".This is the cross the line even for such a greedy character as he ever was. But apart from abysmal idea,sense of humor and characters.I even forget that this episode has just as abysmal substance,I’m hate to saying this,but even Spongebob You’re Fired has a better plot.There’s no such a thing as a development of situation or journey from point A to point B,all of what nasty nightmare that been created in episode doesn’t goes nowhere and solved itself just after episode tired of repeat of smashing Squidward’s head for the billion time.Oh,and by the way,as you could get,that all of those gags that I pointing out are slapjack based,even without the fact how painful context of episode is,the visual humor here is incredibly poorly crafted.And that’s a really big problem with 9a as a whole though,a very major chunk of episodes tried having a slapstick humor despite having a terrible looking animation,and all of those attempts ended up begin lazy,predictable and simply boring.Slapstick in Squid Baby is definitely not an exception...actually no I’m lying,slapstick of this episode is in 200 times more painful,and even besides that,dragging out so badly that made Sportz’s visual humor looks like a pinnacle of comedy.Watching how Squidward’s head gets hurt with non a single dose of creativity or variation is definitely was a bad decision of the crew.The only joke in the entire episode that isn’t about Squidward begin hell out punished without any excuse is my leg reference,but even that didn’t worked because episode didn’t even bothered to add character that actually say that line all the time,witch is another example of how 9a doesn’t cared about quality once again. This episode is just never should’ve been made,I can’t think of any way how episode with this premise can works out well.Even Truth or Square and The Main Drain both had potential to be decent if not great if they would’ve get any effort back then,even Spongebob You’re Fired had a bigger chances to be good than Squid Baby ever did.And the final result is just proved my statement right,everything that episode does is offensive to look at,from the awful structure,to awful characters and sense of humor that it’s bring to this universe.I think that I’m not going to have any surprises or shock if I going to visit Darknet one day after surviving Squid Baby,because god damn,this is the only truly episode of Spongebob that I can’t physically to watch fully without turning off it several times in the row.Begin said,just fuck it so much and I really,really hope that I’m not going to see even a minute of this abomination for the rest of my life.It’s only 3th worst on my list,but I have a feeling that one day it’s going to throw away The Main Drain from number one spot and dominated it for awhile,because it’s give me the most aggravating though than any other Spongebob episode ever did with every new second. 1. "Ya know, kid, your body isn't the problem. It's your heart. You deserve what you've gotten." Stuck in the Wringer, 629 points 36 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank 3 #1's @Steel Sponge @Larry the Cucumber @AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH) (0) OWM: The choices this episode makes have got to be some of the worst and most convoluted in series history. Patrick especially has been completely bastardized. He starts off the episode as a plot device by immediately making the situation worse for no reason whatsoever. I understand he’s TRYING to be good but I just can’t bring myself to enjoy him at all here. He seems to have no basic understanding of SpongeBob’s situation at all throughout the episode and seems to only exist here to make it more miserable. The entire carnival sequence is complete torture because it’s just several minutes of him being a self-serving asshole. The supportiveness he showed earlier has been completely thrown out in favor of this bizarre, selfish and ignorant asshole version of himself. And of course, it leads into the infamous meltdown by SpongeBob, which is completely done wrong for a multitude of reasons. Why is SpongeBob melting down on Patrick shown as wrong? Why are the Bottomites shunning him completely despite having no clear understanding of the situation? And most importantly, why are we supposed to believe them? We just spent the last five minutes watching Patrick look out for himself only and we’re supposed to believe SpongeBob’s heart is responsible. Later we get scenes of Patrick alone, which are completely worthless and only exist to pad the runtime. They’re not funny since it’s him alone and he’s still being a petty little bitch. And lastly, we get “I guess crying does solve your problems after all!” What kind of a moral is that? What are we supposed to take from it? Are there kids out there getting glued in wringers? Is it supposed to be some sort of meta moral not meant to be taken seriously? Then why are you presenting it like it’s not? Stuck in the Wringer is an episode with no characters. Instead, it has mean-spirited, bitter and infuriating plot devices. Stuck in the Wringer is an episode with no story. Instead, it has a bizarre, confusing and poorly structured mess that only exists to make people mad. Stuck in the Wringer is an episode with no jokes. Instead it has scenes of SpongeBob getting handicapped. Stuck in the Wringer is an episode with no quality, and I'm glad to see it's defended its title for the second year in a row. Well, this marks the end of our list. Once again I thank everybody who submitted for this as well as all the people who contributed commentary, liked these posts, and watched the points grow from 68 up to 629 (!). As my parting gift to you, here are both Google Docs I used to make the list and tally up points. You may enjoy them freely and grill me if I made any mistakes. Have fun! Now go submit for best list. FULL LIST 2019: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vkN_vTCbYWlrZcxL2tWFgA-eQyRRa9SwohCEeFJnI3Y/edit?usp=sharing ALL SUBMISSIONS 2019: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ESmzD1TXVkn0lA9QnZWQyuhAi435MIjSkuDx14oX-FY/edit?usp=sharing BEST LIST 2019 (DON'T FORGET TO SUBMIT):
Threshold this year for Dishonorables was 40 points, a number I probably shouldn't have given out at all. Oh well. Dishonorable Mentions 2019 63. New Fish in Town, 43 points 7 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank #7 @BeachBob95) (-4) 62. Good Neighbors, 44 points 4 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank #5 @4EverGreen) (-18) 61. Restraining SpongeBob, 44 points 6 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank #9 @OWM) (-11) 60. The Sponge Who Could Fly, 46 points 3 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank #4 @dmandamanAndKnuckles) (NEW) 59. Tentacle-Vision, 46 points 5 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank #6 @PEPSI✭MAN) (-25) 58. The Battle of Bikini Bottom, 48 points 2 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank #1 @Cosmix humungosaur) (NEW) 57. Dear Vikings, 52 points 6 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank #5 @Night-Waker) (NEW) 56. InSPONGEiac, 54 points 3 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank #4 @Sweat) (+1) 55. Squirrel Jelly, 54 points 3 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank #1 @Terminoob™) (NEW) 54. Plankton's Regular, 57 points 5 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank #5 @Clappy) (-6) 53. Hide and Then What Happens?, 57 points 9 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank #15 @CakeCup) (NEW) 52. A SquarePants Family Vacation, 60 points 4 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank 2 #6's @The Helpful Mexican @MarcoGagFanatic) (NEW) 51. Doodle Dimension, 60 points 5 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank #3 @Terminoob™) (NEW) Well that's all of them. Better luck next time for these episodes! They may show up in 2021's list. Get ready for our final two episodes tomorrow!
4. "It is a high honor to be chosen for the Bikini Bottom Men's Chorus, and you are not going to keep me from performing my Grand Solo!" Choir Boys, 489 points 31 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank #1 @El Jacko) (+8) OWM: Everything and everyone in this episode is pretty damn bad. My main problem with it is how badly paced it is. The opening is three straight minutes of pure filler that adds nothing to the episode and can easily be cut out. Do we need to focus on Squidward’s awful singing in the shower? Do we need to see Squidward painstakingly get dressed? Does Squidward have to restate himself to SpongeBob again? I actually had to rewatch this episode in double speed so I wouldn't get instantly bored. And this continues later in the episode too. They devote several seconds to unfunny, drawn-out scenes of both SpongeBob and Squidward clearing their throats. The designs are awful too. The grotesque faces and expressions from SpongeBob like his droopy nose, and overall general appearance don't help this episode's standing at all. The way he’s written here also implies this extremely sad and abusive relationship with Squidward as well. The pothole scene is actually intended to be malicious harm from SpongeBob, hence the line “Now I have a captive audience.” Him calling Squidward an “inspiration and great friend” comes across as a big insult because of that. I certainly didn't expect this episode to rise as high as it did, but thinking about it now I'm not so shocked. 3. "I've lost it. I can't tell what's real anymore!" Ink Lemonade, 494 points 27 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank 3 #1's @SICKO MORE @4EverGreen @Sweat) (+1) 4EverGreen: One of my biggest regrets the last time we did a "Worst of" List, is that I didn't change my list in time, to include this episode. But the episode was released on the day of the deadline, I didn't want to go through the hassle of changing my list, and I thought, there was no WAY that episode would even SCRATCH the surface! Needless to say, I learned my lesson about underestimating how much one single episode could be HATED! Personally, I have nothing but absolute fury and contempt for this episode! How this episode ever got the green light, let alone, fully animated and made, is beyond me! It's like, Kaz was HONESTLY sitting around and thinking: "If I'm going to do something WORSE than Boating Buddies, I'm REALLY going to have to apply myself!" And this is the end result! All you need to know about the episode, is that it is filled with NOTHING but Patrick finding ways to SCARE Squidward, in order to get his ink, for his lemonade! And nearly all of the ways in which Patrick does this, are gross, sick, cruel, sadistic, and flat-out uncharacteristic Patrick behavior at its absolute WORST! And the worst part of it is, the Bikini Bottom citizens actually LIKE the lemonade, until they find out it comes from Squidward, the hypocrites! And Squidward doesn't even get any consolation in this episode, because he eats a cookie filled with spider eggs! In my personal opinion, this is by FAR, Kaz's WORST episode EVER! Enough said, true believers! The end is coming fast. Stay tuned for Dishonorable Mentions tomorrow, and our grand finale on Wednesday!
6. "Don't worry, little worms. I know a place where we can go to find homes for every single one of you." Pet or Pests, 464 points 26 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank 3 #1's @The last carotte @Loopers @CakeCup) (+5) Carotte: I won't say much about this episode because it's basically every Season 6 flaw in one episode. There is literally nothing that I can find decent. It doesn't have a plot and everything that happens is boring and gross. First of all, the animation is at its worst and the designs are so ugly. It's the worst SpongeBob design in the whole show mainly because of the overuse of Springer cheeks. Even the worms are gross. Also, there are some gross-out moments that are really disturbing to me, for example that birth scenes. I hate how the baby worms throwing up is a running gag in this episode. Speaking of gags, the doorbell scene sure was a NICE attempt to add comedy. It lasted like 30 seconds and the doorbell didn't even sound like a real doorbell so it becomes an annoying scene. Oh yeah and Larry was unusually jerkish and I suspect he was pretending not to know SpongeBob. He tried to eat the worms because he didn't give a f about nothing! I won't comment on every scene because they're all basically bad at best. This is an episode that deserves more hate than Squid Baby tbh. Enough said! 5. "Well, actually, SpongeBob, uh, there's two words. And they're not very good." SpongeBob You're Fired, 471 points 25 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank 5 #1's @SquiddyFace @Klu @Trainman2002 @dmandamanAndKnuckles @Matt0417) (0) More: SpongeBob You’re Fired was the episode I crowned as my least favorite episode of the series. I’ve said that confidently almost since I first saw it. This year a peculiar Season 11 episode pushed it to #2 but in retrospect I don’t think I made the right call. Calling this the most hated episode of the series by the general public, if not the most hated episode in any series, would be right. The reviews of this episode have more passion and feel more like SpongeBob than this. The way the story progresses is absolutely atrocious. The turning points are all based on ridiculous contrivances like Mr Krabs firing SpongeBob for a mere NICKEL. Which is stupid and makes the ending of the Krusty Krab going kaput predictable from 20 minutes away, as SpongeBob’s the only thing keeping the Krusty Krab alive in the first place. In other cases, they contradict everything that happened in the episode beforehand. The stupidest part of the episode is when all the food mascots come back to attempt to kidnap SpongeBob... for the fact that his patties are delicious. Even though all of them threw the patties on the Filthy floor only minutes earlier. The worst part is that those two things along with SpongeBob moping around and crying the ENTIRETY of the episode are the only things resembling a plot or stakes. Every single part of the episode is painfully long and only serves to waste the viewers time. Ink Lemonade might be horrible but at least it grabs your attention. I could speed up SBYF to eleven minutes and everything would still go on for twice as long as it should. Hell, I could cut out everything between SpongeBob getting fired and him getting re-hired and and that would have zero impact on the story. Every single character here is a shell of their former selves that makes the character in Atlantis SquarePantis look like they have personality. Mr. Krabs is excruciatingly cheap. Sandy is a messed up scientist only conducting experiments for the fun of it. Patrick is a total bum and a terrible friend for promoting his lifestyle to SpongeBob. And SpongeBob is miserable to watch as his one biggest trait of optimism and happiness is completely missing. At the very least, in other terrible episodes, these characters at least interacted and were fleshed out enough to make a story out of. This has nothing. The episode steals elements from dozens of episodes from Karate Choppers, to Le Big Switch, to Welcome to the Chum Bucket, to Model Sponge. It didn’t even have to be this unoriginal. The scene where SpongeBob creates Snail-Po makes me think of an alternative universe where SpongeBob can create a new business and find a niche success outside the Krusty Krab... oh wait that’s the plot of Patty Hype. Not that it matters as the Snail-Po scene is abandoned within seconds and has no impact on the episode at all. I still stand that I could create a clip show of past episodes strung together to resemble SBYF and it would still be more competent than it ever would be. Possibly even worse than that is how this episode tried to be somewhat political in its depiction of unemployment but it fails to convey any message at all, not unlike Modern Simpsons. If there’s ONE thing I can give this credit for, it’s that the news blew the moral way out of proportion. The fact that SpongeBob does eventually realize the wrongs of unemployment and finds another job is at least competent. It wasn’t an intentional moral or a well-constructed one, it fails to show anything political or relevant in any way, and it feels manufactured as much as the rest of SpongeBob You’re Fired. But at least it saves this from being worse. Lastly, let’s discuss the comedy. Wait I worded that poorly... Let’s discuss how this episode only gets more broken in that it has no comedy at all. I forgot how this episode takes such a depressing and serious tone and subject matter. The few “jokes” there are are painfully long and arduous, from SpongeBob crying for four straight minutes, to SpongeBob getting kicked from a job four times in exactly the same way. The fun-employment scene is the worst example of this where SpongeBob is completely fed up with life and is miserable to look at. There did not need to be multiple close-ups of his face to drive home that point. His portrayal is on par with Squidward in “Are You Happy Now?” and that’s saying a lot. That one season 11 episode may have made me lost passion for the series for a long time. But it was a fluke. After watching the rest of Season 11–especially Karen’s Virus, Plankton Paranoia, Squid Noir, and many others—I see that the post-sequel crew is really passionate about their work and are always bursting with new and creative ideas. SpongeBob You’re Fired is the last straw in a sea of a slow, dead, series that overstayed it’s welcome. It felt like a corporate product that Nickelodeon pitched. It was bad enough to get attacked on major news outlets and cemented the show as a zombie. Good riddance that Post-Sequel gave the series a much needed overhaul after this. For that, I think I can safely call this the most fundamentally broken and poorly made episode of the series. Consider this my #1 once again. WhoBob: SpongeBob You're Fired single handedly defeated every single episode for being the most uninspired and laziest episode ever existed. I can't even believe this was pitched in the first place. This episode has Marc Ceccarelli, Luke Brookshier and Mr. Lawrence as writers, all of them are incredibly talented writers, especially Luke Brookshier who is my favorite post-movie writer ever and yet none of them seemed like they wanted to make this episode at all. It all feels like a studio meddling by Nickeloden to force the crew to make a special about SpongeBob getting fired, which is why this episode feels so soulless that it's literally on par with season of Fairly OddParents, I'm not even joking. Lets start with the premise. SpongeBob gets fired from Krusty Krab, and from the start, this episode already shows us it rips off the premise of Squid on Strike, therefore the premise isn't anywhere close to being original to begin with. To makes things worse...the reason why Mr. Krabs fires SpongeBob is utterly nonsense. He fires SpongeBob OVER A DAMN NICKEL. Why is that? Because Mr. Krabs has to do budget cuts. That doesn't make sense, even as a damn joke. Time and time again, the show have told us without SpongeBob, Krusty Krab is NOTHING. He provides the most money and what's funny is that his paycheck is literally a nickel. Mr. Krabs is a businessman, he is not dumb to fire SpongeBob over a nickel. What's funny is that this kind of behavior reminds me of Mr. Krabs selling SpongeBob's soul over 62 cents in Born Again Krabs AND Mr. Krabs accusing of Squidward for stealing his 10 cents, which led Mr. Krabs fire him in Can You Spare a Time. Mr. Krabs' entire characterization is trash here and what's funny is that we're supposed to see how sad he has to make a decision but I don't feel anything because we all know he'll rehire SpongeBob at the end and because of his decision, I just facepalm over it. To make things even worse, SpongeBob cries like a baby and who doesn't fucking wanna hear SpongeBob crying? I get why he's sad but it's just so annoying than legit heartbreaking to me. It should have been a big deal because people losing their jobs is so common but I don't care for the conflict due to how it plays out. And of course SpongeBob being sad and obsessive over his job is tackled in Bummer Vacation, so there's another example of why I feel anything but interested in this episode. Then we get to have Patrick seeing a depressing SpongeBob and telling him that being unemployment is the best. Oh shit, this is the scene that caused FOX News to sperg over the episode promoting "unemployment", which caused an unnecessary controversy because this episode never promoted unemployment if they actually paid attention to the episode. That's one thing I'll disagree with the episode's criticism because this episodes doesn't even deserve controversy because it's so fucking boring. "Funemployment" as Patrick calls it isn't fun. It's a boring and forgettable sequence. After that shit is over, SpongeBob and Patrick heads to Sandy's treedome for free food for homeless... What does Sandy do? She warns SpongeBob to not eat the food because it's for experimental purposes. It gives Patrick a second head, which is so concerning. I'm usually a Sandy apologist but this right here is messed up and it's easily my least favorite version of Sandy ever. She would NEVER EVER do an illegal experiment on homeless and poor people. That's NOT who she is. She's not a criminal, yet this episode portrays Sandy as someone who can get away with this kind of shit. It's insulting to her character and it's very disturbing. To cut it shortly, Sandy convinces SpongeBob to get a new job and SpongeBob is headed to his way. Welp, If you thought it couldn't have gotten more boring, wait and see. SpongeBob getting new jobs, I'm sure that premise hasn't been done before...oh wait. Model Sponge where SpongeBob thought Mr. Krabs fired him and he has to find himself a new job. Does this episode even try to do something different? Nope. SpongeBob tries out every single restaurant to be a chef there but every single time, he enters, he makes a Krabby Patty which leads to him getting kicked out. My god, I can maybe understand the episode doen't know it rips off other episodes but this is the most obvious one and the most inevitable one. Le Big Switch did this joke like come on. What makes it worse is that this episodes does it again and again with no real punchline to it, thus making the gag so stretched out that it becomes tedious. Of course the pointless scenes aren't over yet! After being fired last time, SpongeBob decides to make Gary a snail food, which kind of sounds like Patty Hype where SpongeBob tries out a different food to sell but it's funny that of all the rip offs, that premise could have been pulled off masterfully. Albeit, I doubt the episode tries to rip off that episode but I thought it's worth mentioning. You know, wouldn't it be amazing to see SpongeBob running a snail food company? Now that's an actual interesting premise that seems like it's derivated from Patty Hype but it could have been its own unique thing. But nope, this entire sequence is once again POINTLESS because we actually see that all the bosses SpongeBob got fired by, they all wanna rehire SpongeBob to make him do more Krabby Patty, so they kidnaps him and try to make him their slave. Yay, slavery in SpongeBob! And that premise is done done done done done in The Krusty Sponge. I'm just gonna go right into the whole fight sequence between Krabby Patty mascot and the bosses. Now that's an actual fun scene, too bad I still don't get emotionally invested in the story because this episode has all the chances to make me care for SpongeBob's journey but after many many many boring, annoying and disturbing scenes, the episode loses it. Oh joy, the mascot brings SpongeBob to Krusty Krab which is in a really terrible state. Who would have thought! Oh wait, other episodes especially Whatever Happened to SpongeBob, where SpongeBob being away means Krusty Krab goes bankrupt. My god, it's so predictable that it's not even funny. How many times do I have to see SpongeBob's value over the restaurant to get it? The characters never ever appreciates SpongeBob's value and it makes me pissed off. The mascot turns out to be Squidward who saves SpongeBob only because burned patties are worse than being with him. Am I really supposed to feel something for this scene? It makes Squidward a complete heartless human being and I'm surprised many thought this was emotional, even when the episode's reputation was so low. And we get to see Mr. Krabs who regrets firing SpongeBob and he'll rehire him again. That's just no. Fuck you. You don't deserve SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, it's that simple. If you never valued your best fry cook ever, your restaurant is worthy of being bankrupt. I can't even believe SpongeBob would accept the offer again. I would rather be jobless than working in that environment again. Yea, yea, SpongeBob loves working at Krusty Krabs and the show would lose its appeal If status quo was changed but SpongeBob doesn't even have dignity to move on from that toxic place the episode represented. Why should I care for this type of episode If SpongeBob will always work at Krusty Krab? I just don't because it's a waste of time. Oh joy, the episode ends on Mr. Krabs charging people to use the bathroom for a nickel, he just never learns and everyone's happy at the end. This episode purposely or not, ripped off or took plot points from 8 EPISODES and I'm not even gonna enter the snail food scene reminding me of Patty Hype and the title being same as "Mrs. Puff, You're Fired". To forget all the rip offs, as a whole story, the episode has some of the worst characterizations from many characters, jokes are too long to make me laugh, story is poorly structured and pointless, animation is very lifeless and this is supposed to be A SPECIAL. For gods sake, I seriously wonder behind the scenes of this episode because it feels forced down our throats. This episode is on my #2 and If it weren't Gone's petty ending, this episode would have been my all-time least favorite episode. Fuck this episode hard and I hope it'll be on SBC's worst lists forever and especially on bottom 5!
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8. "Tonight's ruined. A complete disaster. And I didn't even meet Kelpy G." Smoothe Jazz at Bikini Bottom, 416 points 29 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank 2 #3's @dmandamanAndKnuckles @Matt0417) (0) Melon: Well, this episode made my bottom 10. As I sorta mentioned in my Cephalopod Lodge commentary, to me, something bad happening to a character isn’t automatically a goodreason to hate an episode, and I think many episodes get too much hate for it. However, there IS a point where this can be a reason to hate an episode. There needs to be enough good to make an episode involving a lot of bad things happening to a character. Whether it be good humor or a great plot or so on, if there is good, then it doesn’t matter what bad things happen to a character. Squidward goes through a lot of bad things in Club Spongebob for example, but that episode is hilarious, so who cares? Another factor that can effect this is the amount it’s justified. If a character did something awful, like murder innocent people, then anything that happens to them would be justified. This episode, however, is not an episode about bad things happening to a character that works. It’s just a frustrating, annoying, and unfunny episode, and this makes everything Squidward goes through annoying or frustrating to watch. The reason why its so frustrating and annoying, is because this episode isn’t funny nor has a great plot or anything else to justify what is happening. This means theres nothing to make the bad things happening to Squidward entertaining, and so this episode gets annoying because its just bad things happening to Squidward when he didn’t deserve it. First, I’ll start with going through the beginning of the episode. The episode doesn’t start too terribly, but isn’t all that entertaining anyway. However, it’s still ok. Squidward loses his tickets to the concert, which sucks, but isn’t enough to make this episode bad. Squidward has to go to the concert with Spongebob since Spongebob wins the tickets for him, but again, its ok, that doesn’t make the episode bad or anything. Spongebob harms Squidward’s ability to talk to the other people at the concert because the other squids don’t like Spongebob, but again, not too bad. This isn’t a problem unless it gets REALLY bad for Squidward without enough entertainment. Once it gets to the concert, however, so many bad things happen to Squidward that was never deserved and goes too far for the low amount of actual entertainment. Squidward is there listening to the music, and Patrick shows up literally out of nowhere to go eat Squidward’s backstage pass, ruining Squidward’s chance of getting to meet a clarinet player he really likes. It’s ok though, Spongebob is willing to give Squidward his backstage pass...... and then Patrick eats that for no reason too. Just.... this appearance of Patrick is so awful. In this whole episode, Patrick just appears out of nowhere to go eat stuff for no reason. And then Patrick just goes up to the stadium and asks for some food with the microphone, interrupting the concert for something so stupid, which should annoy the crowd because they don’t seem like the kind of person who would be ok with the concert being interrupted for this stupidity, and also should result in the security kicking Patrick out for this, but instead the security and kelpy g don’t care and the crowd cheers Patrick for this for literally no reason and carry him to the end of the stadium....... what??? This doesn’t even make any sense why they would want to do this. There’s no reason why the crowd would like this and cheer this and why security would be ok with this, espicially when these squids in the crowd were shown earlier to be fairly similar to Squidward. And then of course Squidward and Spongebob can’t get back to Patrick because the secruity isn’t ok with them leaving even though Patrick just did just fine..... and then both of them go back to find out that their seats were taken by two random people and refuse to leave even though Spongebob and Squidward fairly got those seats. So, deservingly, Squidward gets mad at this person, and suddenly THIS bothers the crowd and stops the show. No, not Patrick stupidily ordering food on the stage, that’s great and deserves to be cheered, but Squidward getting mad at someone for justified reasons unacceptable and gets him kicked out instead of the people who stole their seats. All of this is just so annoying and not enjoyable to me at all. After this, Squidward then breaks into the backstage without the passes because the door is opened by Patrick who was allowed to go backstage for whatever reason. Squidward is of course caught by someone, and to get the guy to not kick him out, Squidward plays his clarinet to show how “good” he is, and Spongebob plays his ukulele. Kelpy G shows up and ignores Squidward’s awful clarinet performance but likes Spongebob’s ukulele and allows Spongebob to play with him in the concert, whereas Squidward goes up to the stage only to have be kicked out and have his clarinet taken away. While this stuff is justified since Squidward snuck in without permission and was playing awfully, him being ignored while Spongebob gets to play with Kelpy G feels so frustrating after all the other stuff Squidward goes through. It just makes the episode have an annoying ending on top of being annoying throughout the rest of the episode. In conclusion, the episode is very annoying and frustrating with awful Patrick, is nonsensical and stupid, and has Squidward go through so many bad things for wanting to enjoy a concert without making the episode actually funny or entertaining otherwise to make it ok. 7. "Gary! Shame on you! Puffy Fluffy is perfectly harmless." A Pal for Gary, 428 points 24 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank 3 #1's @Patty Rose @EmployeeAMillion @kev) (-5) OWM: As you can see, this episode took a hell of a fall this year. I guess that's sort of good, because I don't really hate this episode. Hell, there are even some funny parts. I like the way Gary uses his leash as a lasso when he’s inspired by the Western movies, and him coming to the rescue at the end is genuinely awesome. SpongeBob also has a few stray funny lines about “enchiladas” and “You making meatballs Grandma? Time for dinner already.” However, I never said this was good, because it is not by all means. SpongeBob’s sassy, ignorant, bitchy self he transforms into in the second half of the episode is completely unjustified and infuriating. It makes no sense at all he would accuse Gary, his closest companion, of somehow sabotaging Puffy Fluffy at all. His conclusion that Gary “is just jealous” doesn’t make any sense at all, especially when viewing this obvious destruction a snail could not have caused. The chase scene is also really boring and weightless, by the way. Overall this episode excels better at being incredibly boring than doing anything offensive or mean-spirited. Does it belong in the top 10? Sure. But I would never put it anywhere near mine.
let's go 10. "Neptune said this was all because of me!" The Clash of Triton, 333 points 24 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank 3 #3's @SICKO MORE @Loopers @AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH) (-3) Klu: Clash of Triton is one little miserable special. Season 6 in general has not the best track-record in terms of specials and this episode, unfortunately, is no exception. Dull comedy, awful visuals, terrible plot, this is the recipe for disaster. Probably the biggest problem of this episode that it’s too ambitious for it’s own good. It’s not even season 5 anymore, it’s season 6, where all good ideas and potential come to die. This episode tries to expand on show’s lore and tackle more serious issues like generational problems of father and son, but since this is: a) SpongeBob b) Season 6 c) Special in season 6 This idea flopped. I remember reading interview where writers were saying that they were inspired by Greek tragedies. Only tragedy here is this episode’s existence. I don’t mind when show tries out new things or when it’s ambitious (hell, I love post-sequel for that), but this episode forgot that SpongeBob just isn’t the right show to tackle such issues. But even if we give this idea a fair shot, because what the heck, it has other problems like characterization of Neptune. He is really unlikable and hypocritical, you can’t connect to him or root for him. You are more sympathetic towards Triton, who is MAIN ANTAGONIST of the episode. And even if this sounds like “grey”, more nuanced conflict, resolution of the conflict between Neptune and Triton is just laughable. Instead of Neptune realizing his mistake, he congratulates his son for his evil deeds and destruction. I know that this is supposed to be a joke, but episode tries to take itself more or less seriously before, so why all of the sudden it doesn’t take itself seriously NOW? It’s like if “Have you seen this snail” was all normal until the very ending where SpongeBob neglected Gary again, rendering entire episode pointless with no character progression, just for the sake of dumb joke. The scariest thing that I imagine that if “Have you seen this snail” came out in season 6 it would’ve ended just like I described. And of course SpongeBob and Patrick are chased by Bikini-bottomites because of course we also need badly written townspeople in the episode as cherry on the top. I can’t blame Nickelodeon for advertising this episode as an epic adventure, because in retrospect, that’s what this episode SHOULD’VE BEEN IN THE FIRST PLACE. Epic adventure in style of “Dunces and Dragons”. Instead it tries to be “Greek tragedy” resulting in badly written slog that is hard to get through. This episode has few decent jokes, like this puzzle opening the cage and Patrick being only one able to solve it, but this isn’t enough to save this trainwreck. G4ry: If I’m going to be honest, my distaste of this episode largely stems from my expectations as a child. It may be me misremembering, but I remember this episode getting lots of promotion on Nickelodeon, moreso than any other special I remember. It was lauded as this fantastic battle in all the promos, but jack shit happened in the actual episode. My friends and I were hyped for what felt like weeks leading up to the episode. And it just fell flat. The worst part of the episode in my eyes is Triton himself. He’s just a grade A douche. He’s not compelling enough or relatable enough to be a good villain. In my eyes, he’s the worst one-off character in the show’s history. Worse than Big Sister Sam, Puffy Fluffy, Stanley, etc. Seeing him destroy Bikini Bottom with no repercussions annoys me to no end. And I know its not really a fault of the episode, but Triton’s voice annoys me. I truly do believe had the episode been less hyped up, I wouldn’t hate it this much. But it was; And I do. 9. "We'll find a way out and then we'll have the best eleventy-seventh anniversary ever. All we have to do is stick together." Truth or Square, 401 points 20 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank 4 #1's @RDSP @Captain TJ @The Helpful Mexican @hippythehippo) (+8) Slug: Truth or Square, where to begin? For most of the infamous episodes, there is one thing that defines them. In A Pal for Gary it was Gary’s treatment by SpongeBob, in One Coarse Meal it was Plankton’s suicide attempt, in Squid Baby it’s basically the premise, but with Truth or Square, the episode is so full of badness from so many angles that it’s difficult to decipher. The episode just keeps throwing terrible moment after terrible moment at you at such a rapid pace that it’s difficult to keep up with it. However I will try my best to thoroughly tackle every single failure in this absolutely pathetic excuse of an anniversary special. So the episode begins with a Patchy sequence. I like Patchy, well I sometimes like Patchy. In a lot of episodes where the story needs more than 11 minutes but might not be able to fill 22, Patchy could help add something to the episode. The writers seemed to realize this and decided instead of making an actually interesting storyline that would warrant being labeled a TV movie, they could just fill it up with as much Patchy as possible to stretch out the episode to grueling lengths. Even in episodes where Patchy is fun, it’s always very short, and that’s how it should be. Patchy segments were always meant to be small extras on top of an episode, but when you make them an actual substantial part of an episode, that charm goes away. It just reeks of cheapness since they take up a substantial part of the episode. With so much Patchy it feels less like a fun extra and more like I’m watching a lazy kids sitcom tacked onto a SpongeBob episode. I’ve actually seen people who don’t hate Truth or Square entirely, but hate the Patchy segments, and some people say they prefer to judge the SpongeBob parts separately. Even without Patchy, the SpongeBob segments are still extremely flawed, but even if you think the SpongeBob portions are fine, the simple fact of the matter is that without Patchy, this isn’t a TV movie. If your supposed TV movie needs Patchy in order to be a TV movie, I’m going to judge Patchy along with the rest of the episode. To say that you just need to ignore Patchy to like Truth or Square is the equivalent of saying you need to skip all of The Phantom Menace except the Darth Maul lightsaber fight to enjoy it. If an episode is going to waste so much of my time with extraneous Patchy scenes, I’m going to critique them as if they are a part of the episode, because, you know, they are a part of the episode. Anyways, within the very first scene we can see just how awful these Patchy scenes are going to be firsthand. Most notably, we can see just how lazy they are. Now I know exactly how some of you are going to respond. Some will say that the entire point of Patchy was to resemble a cheap kids’ show. But here’s the thing, they were intentionally lazy, and actually crafted jokes around their laziness. Take for example how in Christmas Who, Patchy just cuts off Potty’s strings, and in Ugh when he’s riding a dinosaur, he just falls over and needs a crew to help pick him back up, with an intermission that follows. They knew that they were making a parody of cheap kids’ shows, and that’s the key word here, parody. They actually made jokes out of this, there’s a difference between making fun of how cheap something is, and just being cheap, which is clearly the case with Truth or Square. Bad camerawork is not a joke, and when you have to watch so much of this, it becomes extremely grating and impossible to enjoy in any capacity. Now Patchy segments tend to have very little of a story, often just revolving around a silly argument between Patchy and Potty, since Truth or Square’s segments are longer, they had to mix It up, which they did… in the worst possible way imaginable. The way they tried to tie this into the SpongeBob segments was to have Patchy trying to create an anniversary special for SpongeBob. Not exactly a bad synopsis, fits in pretty well with what they were going for in the SpongeBob portions of the episode. However, after having some really unfunny banter with some person at Nick, which feels like unscripted small talk, pretty much half of these segments is just celebrity cameos. What point do these cameos have? Nothing. Are there any jokes in them? Not really, the very few they do try are horrendously executed. Hey, Patchy’s breath smells, hilarious! So we’re left with a significant portion of this episode just having Patchy interact with celebrities, no jokes and no reason to be there. Nickelodeon or someone in the creative staff decided that in order to really qualify as a celebration they needed to shoehorn in as many famous people as possible to get some kid to say “Hey, I recognize LeBron James!” and hope that somehow makes up for the lack of any comedy. That is if you can recognize such iconic beacons of entertainment such as the Triumph Insult Dog, if you can’t, you really are the fool here. They truly waste so much time on this only for Patchy to give up on his special. They could’ve had Patchy come to this realization in different ways. Maybe lower it to like 3 recognizable celebrities or have them appear in a terrible anniversary special so that way the interviews actually mattered in the end and it didn’t feel like a complete waste of time. After these interviews the episode takes an odd direction. We get a music number by Pink, and it’s quite bad. Like a lot of the songs around this period of the show, it doesn’t stick out at all and is full of generic and repetitive lyrics, it also doesn’t need to be here and isn’t important to the story at all, they’re even self-aware of it in the episode. They’re just like screw it, if Patchy isn’t doing this special, then we’re going to do something! Where is Patchy at? Well he’s taken a grand journey to meet SpongeBob, only to get eaten by a whale. I really hate this whale section. It might seem odd because the material here isn’t that bad in a vacuum. If you just saw they old-styled cartoon with SpongeBob on YouTube, you’d probably enjoy it. However, why is it here? It just feels so shoe-horned in. It’s as if you’re watching Dunces and Dragons, and then there’s this random intermission where Patchy shows up and says “Hey kids, what if SpongeBob was an anime?” and they showed a random scene of SpongeBob in anime style that has no impact on anything. Like ok, great, you’re able to draw SpongeBob as an old-style cartoon, but why? It really shows this episode has so little substance they had to stuff in what amounts to DVD extras to pad its length. There is also this alternate intros portion which is an interesting idea but isn’t actually that funny, it’s done better in Unreal Estate where the intros actually have a joke with a punchline and tie into the story. Hey look, it’s the SpongeBob intro, except it’s Patrick! I did like the part where Squid’s pants get removed, but that’s the one clever subversion here, they rest is just watching the SpongeBob intro with different characters. Not enough to make up for the lack of meaning. When Patchy nears his end, the only thing that I can appreciate at all is “Hallucination SpongeBob” having his own wiki page, this whole thing just completely worthless dreck made so that the episode could be as long as possible to rack up more ad-space and make people think they’re going to be watching a TV movie. Sorry but I can never accept anyone thinking these aren’t the worst Patchy segments, what is there to defend here? How can anyone actually tell me Friend or Foe, Atlantis or Feral Friends are worse than this? By comparison, Truth or Square’s segments are far longer, much more poorly made, and don’t even attempt any funny antics. At least Atlantis had the Encino bit, at least Friend or Foe’s segments were short and actually had banter between Patchy and Potty rather than celebrities and random people who bounce off him terribly, and at least Feral Patchy is barely in the episode at all. For me Truth or Square’s Patchy segments are downright insulting. They don’t need to exist at all, it’s completely jumbled, and when it isn’t jumbled it’s boring with countless scenes of Patchy just… talking to celebrities, with next to no actual humor at all. They really could’ve just had focused on Patchy crafting his anniversary special, having Patchy search for SpongeBob or Patchy showing random things like the alternate intros. For the anniversary special, they really just slapped together the cheapest and half-assed script, if they had one at all, and hoped people would still accept it. For a show as treasured as SpongeBob, I find this downright disgraceful. This is hands down the worst thing the show has ever done, no contest. Nothing has had as little thought or effort as much as this. Even in episodes like Choir Boys, I’m sure there was still some sort of creative process, even if it was poorly done, but this feels cynical to the core with no heart or soul to be seen. Things don’t get much better when we get to the meat of the special. Despite being in HD, the episode still feels remarkably bland. It’s probably the best animated season 6 episode, but season 6 was hideous as sin, and considering this was their first foray into HD for the show, I’d say it’s quite the spectacular failure. They really do nothing to take advantage of the widescreen. It’s like any other season 6 episode if you gave it a new code of paint. The animation is still stiff, the character designs are often ugly and really they do nothing impressive for the entire runtime. It all takes place in the Krusty Krab and occasionally some other often seen Bikini Bottom setpiece in flashbacks. Season 6 animation doesn’t suddenly become appealing when you up the number of pixels. I didn’t know this episode was HD when I first saw it, I had to look it up myself, and when reviewing this again I can see why. The actual story though? It’s, of course, horrible, and very scarce in actual substance. It makes SpongeBob, You’re Fired look like an endearing adventure. It should go without saying that there’s no good jokes to make up for that. I have to admit I don’t despise “A Day like This” but it’s about the only thing I can get a modicum of enjoyment out of. We now have to admire the comedic genius this episode has to offer. SpongeBob jumping on people’s heads to get to work. Complete comedy gold. There’s so many scenes in this episode where I’m just confused on how I’m supposed to find them funny. Is SpongeBob jumping on people’s heads supposed to be the laugh riot they cooked up for a 10 year anniversary special? Speaking of bad jokes there is this odd scene in the beginning where SpongeBob gets his first Krabby Patty as a baby. It’s just this awkward scene that is weird and unfunny. If you wanted to see baby SpongeBob eat Krabby Patties in the womb then I guess Truth or Square has you covered? The episode doesn’t get much better once the Krusty crew assembles, and the very beginning of when they enter the Krusty Krab has such a confusing moment, pardon me but I really need to dissect this. Mr. Krabs suspects that given the special day, Plankton must be cooking up a special plan, and shows via hologram a secret network of tunnels. Now, as will be discussed later, the majority of this episode is made up of characters crawling through vents. So why does this scene exist at all? These tunnels never amount to anything in the episode. I genuinely think they might’ve made some kind of error here and got vents confused with tunnels. This scene would work as foreshadowing for when they get stuck in the vents later on, but as is we never see these tunnels, and the tunnels are never brought up again in the story. Considering how this scene has nothing to do with anything else in the episode, I think they made a mistake in the writing process and forgot where the characters actually end up later on. Moving on from that, more about the humor in this episode. They’ve really got two forms of jokes in this episode, flashbacks and montages, those are what make up the bulk of what I suppose are supposed to be humorous in this episode. We see a montage of SpongeBob decorating the Krusty Krab and we’ve got a montage of Krabs owning Plankotn with facts and logic sporting equipment. These montages I think are supposed to be humorous but they aren’t funny. All the changes SpongeBob makes to the Krusty Krab are pretty typical and have been made before. Compare that to a joke in Krusty Towers where the ways Squidward paints Patrick’s room get really silly, but here there’s barely a punchline at all, SpongeBob is just decorating the Krusty Krab and some of the designs are just different locations. There is really zero punchline here. The montage with Krabs is even worse. It’s the same joke repeated over and over again. It isn’t mixed up at all, showing the same gag over and over again isn’t what I’d call a great use of time. What makes it worse is that it’s the same awful slapstick as the rest of the episode. SpongeBob can do some great slapstick, look at seasons 1-4 and post-sequel, but it only works there because the animation has energy, without it. There is zero punch to these scenes, it’s all extremely stiff, what this means is that you’ve got very poorly done visual humor that fails to inspire a single laugh. This is the same for the rest of the visual humor seen in the episode. Patrick becomes the Krusty Krab guard beats up Squidward, yet instead of having stretchy animation it’s just the typical awful season 6 animation we’re all used to (And you bet there’s more dumb Patrick humor, lol Patrick breaks the walkie talkies cuz he’s dumb XD). This episode also has a lot of flashbacks, there’s a lot more of them in the vents but I want to talk about the flashback where Squidward sleeps. Now this episode is supposed to be a parody of clipshows, but how do they parody it at all? What we have here is material that’s just as boring as what we’d get in a clipshow, and it isn’t even clips from previous episodes. The joke here is supposed to be that Squidward has consistently slept on the job, but it’s so poorly delivered in a clipshow format like this. It’s a long, drawn-out punchline that would be much better off with a snappy execution. Now maybe it’d be funnier if Squidward was sleeping in odd places, like what if Squidward was sleeping when the Krusty Krab was on fire? However as is, it’s just scenes of Squidward sleeping like all the other scenes of the show we’ve seen were Squidward sleeps at work, no humor at all. Believe it or not, Plankton is also in this episode. You would be forgiven for not knowing that, because I think even the writers forgot halfway through. Plankton has zero purpose in this episode. It’s almost a parody of how these post-movie seasons kept shoe-horning Plankton in. For his grand plan on the anniversary, Plankton just walks in. He does absolutely nothing the entire episode otherwise, he makes a cameo in the vents for an unfunny joke revolving around the secret formula, and then he fails to get the formula. There’s zero reason for him to be here. I understand they probably wanted Plankton in for this, but at least give him a role. Give him an actual plan and have him actually impact the story. This just feels super lame. This is the exact same problem that Atlantis had where Plankton was put in for no reason besides the fact that it’s a post-movie SpongeBob episode so it’s somehow got to be about Plankton trying to get that secret formula. After a series of unfortunate events, the Krusty crew gets themselves stuck in the freezer, and have to roam through the vents figure out a way to get out. This is the bulk of the episode. That’s right, the best idea they had for the anniversary special was for characters to squabble around in vents. It’s like the writers saw into the future and witnessed The Main Drain, then figured that it was a model episode to be inspired by, and tried their best to replicate the dull boringness of that episode for Truth or Square. Now an episode doesn’t have to be a huge event, it’s SpongeBob after all, but if you’re going to use up so much of my time, then I expect something better than this! The characters just go around in vents, they do nothing, and they randomly solve the conflict when the plot demands the conflict needs to be solved. They just randomly bust out, it’s no realization they discovered, they didn’t have to learn anything, they just break out when they need to. I just cannot fathom how this was the idea that they thought warranted TV movie status. Big One wasn’t a good episode, but it could’ve really used an extra 20 minutes to feel more epic and fleshed out. Clash of Triton is a shitty ass episode but there’s the possibility that more time could’ve greatly improved it, but of all these specials Truth or Square was the one that warranted this? It’s easily the one least deserving of its runtime. Characters crawling through vents is the big celebration for SpongeBob being 10 years on the air we deserved? That’s just… lame. The only thing that happens at all in these vents are flashbacks. These flashbacks provide us with much epic material. What if SpongeBob and Sandy had a fake wedding? Hey, did you know Squidward hates SpongeBob? Let’s look at how great his life was without SpongeBob! We get an epic MCU origin story for SpongeBob’s pineapple too! Want to see a commercial for the Krusty Krab styled in an old timey way? Do you know that Mr. Krabs is going full George W. Bush and spy on everyone in Bikini Bottom? All of this definitely makes up for there being nothing else to this episode, right? These flashbacks have the same problem as the whale scene, except worse. They are all just random scenes that aren’t funny and don’t actually relate to the plot. It’s just really apparent how messy this episode is. There is nothing here for me to enjoy at all. The laughs I can’t even say are bad, because I didn’t laugh at all, and there’s no good story to back it up. Just shoe-horning random crap in doesn’t make up for any of this. It’s not a revelation if it doesn’t reveal anything, and none of them are funny either. Not that I expected them to reveal anything, because of course they don’t. If you are a fan of genius tunes such as “The Rodeo Song” and “The Road Song”. Oh Krusty Krab is another great addition. I mean it’s shorter than those and not as bad but it’s still another lame song. So what did Nickelodeon give us for sticking with the show for 10 years? A ton of horrible Patchy scenes, a long tedious sequence where characters talk in vents and flashbacks that don’t land at all. This is the worst episode of the series for the sheer volume of things wrong with it. No other episode insults me as much as this one, no other episode wastes this much of my time with complete boring and poorly made dreck. I can’t stand this episode, it has absolutely nothing to offer, there’s no laughs, no originality, and it’s not even an interesting kind of bad episode. There are some bad episodes where I can say, hey, they tried something. Sure it was awful, but they had an idea and committed to it. Truth or Square has no ideas. I don’t even know what they were attempting to do here. It’s a vapid, cheap and boring excuse for a TV movie that wastes as much time as possible without having any entertainment value.
12. "Maybe this will teach you not to treat the world as your own personal trash can!" Keep Bikini Bottom Beautiful, 282 points 19 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank #1 @MarcoGagFanatic) (+13) Ben: I despise this episode. Everything about it. We’re gonna be doing a breakdown of this episode folks get ready and sit down. The premise of this episode is not that bad to be honest but I don’t like it. Squidward’s littering causing community service is not great. Then Squilliam comes. Easily the most pointless Squilliam use in the series. I feel like he’s there as a rival but it’s not a fun to watch rivalry like in other episodes like Band Geeks or Squilliam Returns, it’s a very bland appearance. You know what I’m just going to dive into the cop joke. 10 tickets. 10 tickets (the last 2 are given at once so it’s more like nine times) are given in this episode. All of them slow down this episode for this very repetitive joke. A joke that wasn’t funny the first time let alone the 6th. The joke (after the first time) only seems to exist to make squidward a punching bag. Notable examples of the ticket joke include when the cop gives squidward a ticket then the ticket falls on the floor and the trash house ticket which I will get to later. The ticket on the floor joke really does feel like it’s there only to treat Squidward badly. The whole structure of the joke is tiring and I personally don’t see why it needed to be a decent chunk of the episode. The goddamn trash house. What an awful scene and it’s easily one of the worst of post movie era. An utter waste of one minute that shows everything wrong with Season 6-8. The first reason is how it is way too long. The thing with this joke is that it could have been executed in a matter that was way shorter than what we got. Instead of going through his shitty gross out humor where XD HE’S DRINKING FUCKING TRASH, they could have established that he saw the junk within the first like 10 seconds of the joke. Instead they drag it out. No plot changes happen if I were to just make him realize the house was trash immediately. The second reason is easily the gross out. You can do good gross out but this is really unfunny. I tie the unfunny-ness due to being how boring it is. Then of course Squidward gets a ticket for this. Tying right into last paragraph of how even though SpongeBob did this action, Squidward gets punished for no reason. Overall this is why to me Keep Bikini Bottom Beautiful is the worst episode of the entire series. It’s unfunny-ness combined with the worst elements of post movie make me feel like this was awful. In conclusion the cop theme is iconic and now it’s over. I’m proud this episode made it higher than its previous spot. While it might not be in the top 10 it’s really close. 11. "Public nudity is against the law in this county. But don't fret. You'll look just fine in prison orange." Someone's in the Kitchen with Sandy, 310 points 23 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank #1 @SRRS) (+3) Coffee: Over the long years,I still can’t stop to be impressed at how this episode doesn’t give a shit this badly.As much as I dislike Season 7,I’m gonna be honest,most of the famous episodes of the season that despised by millions of fans doesn’t affect me at all.One Coarse Meal,A Pal for Gary,The Cent of Money,Yours Mine and Mine...and so on.They aren’t good by any means,but I feel like they far from begin a Bottom-tier even for this season alone,but today’s peak easily not one of them.A lot of people consider it to felt like a DeviantArt fanfiction,and that’s really insulting...for DeviantArt,because even a Spongebob Wiki’s user would’ve made a less confusing and pathetic plot than this atrocious is.On the one side of the coin this is Imitation Krabs’ knock off number 8385105,where instead any clever and humorous jokes we have one of the lamest attempt at gags of all time,and as a result non a single one worked even for a halfway,besides TRY AGAINNNNNNNNNN might be ironically funny for someone(even then recent Surf N’ Turf made the same joke funny neutrally so eh).Planktons’ plan for stealing the formula has no logical sense or reasoning as well.But what especially making episode so horrendous is a Sandy’s plot.Usually,I don’t consider "mean-spirited" as a reason to dislike episodes no matter what,but episode legit doesn’t have a single reason to treat Sandy as cruel and lame as it did,even at the end she get arrested for the stupidest reason that you can ever imagined,and I would’ve even merely buy that if townspeople were the only dumb/ignorant characters in episode,even if it’s still a lame excuse and a bad joke,the problem is that every single character here is incredibly dumb,even Sandy herself had no reason to not wearing her Space-suit when there’s was no complications,this standard plot point alone making all of sub-plot completely avoidable and pointless. On one side,it’s jarringly boring and useless,on other,it’s painful to sit though for the fact that character was blamed by wearing bikini only,when even the damn name of the town is a B I K I N I bottom.Everything that happened in this episode fells like the first draft of the script without any rechecking.Is it as lazy as The Main Drain?You may ask me.While I think Kitchen has bigger amount of lazy plot-holes in total,what did Drain is still worse and lazier.Unfortunately it’s not making Kitchen less irredeemable and despicable as it was and definitely not saving from begin in my Bottom 10 of the series.But I can give one minor credit to episode,at least it’s an Imitation Krabs clone where I still remembered what happened in it,unlike Gramma’s Secret Recipe,Shellback Shenanigans and Evil Spatula,but that’s another story... Well that concludes the first 40 episodes of this list. Just to recap: Through process of elimination by now you probably already have an idea of what our top 10 will look like. Instead of asking everyone directly, I invite anybody looking to talk about these episodes to send me their commentary as soon as you can. Stay tuned for tomorrow, folks.
14. "Well, it's now or never." Trenchbillies, 251 points 18 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank 2 #3's @Cha @Wumbo) (-5) Ben: This episode is fucking legend. It’s provided so many ironic injokes with shit like GAY BROTHERS and the iconic scene where SPONGEBOB AND PATRICK CRASH INTO EACH OTHER AND ARE GAY and WELL ITS NOW OR NEVER, that if you want my true opinions on the episode I have to set those injokes aside. The episode’s actual jokes are awful and cliche, bringing I feel nothing new to the table in terms of comedy, rather it’s just tired tropes. I have it right at number 8 which seems about right. Kaiju: Trenchbillies is one of those episodes I can both hate and find a weird sense of enjoyment in. For one, the episode is incredibly boring and does next to nothing with the premises of “lol hillbilly anglerfish”, like the entire competition scene isn’t funny at all and feels like pure padding. The incredibly forced inclusion of the Krusty Krab doesn’t help this episode’s case. Yet at the same time it provides ironic enjoyment with such wonderful scenes like the now infamous GAY BROTHERS scene (the part where SpongeBob and Patrick smash into each other) or WELL ITS NOW OR NEVER. This is exactly why I can’t get myself to hate this, unlike certain episodes that made it to the list, purely because of how godly it is. 13. "She's a big buffoon, just like Patrick. Except bigger, and dumber, and buffoonier." Big Sister Sam, 262 points 21 out of 41 lists (Highest Rank 2 #3's @BeachBob95 @CakeCup) (-3) OWM: Sam is definitely one of the worst one-timers in series history. Literally all this character does is just scream and destroy stuff while shouting random things about being mad and smashing stuff. She’s completely uninteresting and has no personality beyond...just destroying stuff! And I guess being hypersensitive? Her remorse at the end also means absolutely nothing since the episode ends anyway. Patrick is debatably even worse here too. He completely condones and defends Sam all throughout this ordeal and for some reason equates SpongeBob and Squidward being against their houses being destroyed as being against him. This plot offers nothing at all to anyone too. It’s so barebones and so devoid of working at all that the episode repeats itself constantly. Squidward attempts to destroy the rock twice in a row. Sam destroys and maims SpongeBob and/or Squidward and their houses. SpongeBob tells Patrick Sam is crazy and Patrick takes it personally and refuses to listen. Sam says the same few phrases over and over again. This is the most repetitive episode I have ever seen. This was toward the bottom at my list but I'll never hesitate to not put it on next time. Hippy: Big Sister Sam got way worse on rewatch. This is my worst season 7 episode because of how annoying Sam and Patrick are, and facing no punishment at the end. The episode turns on Spongebob for some reason, but he and Squidward are the only good characters in the episode. The episode is either tedious or boring, even both sometimes. Sam has no good qualities, cracks no good jokes, and is one of the worst one offs this series has put out. No jokes are funny, there isn't anything to redeem it. A lot of season 7 isnt that annoying, but this episode is. Really ass episode.
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