Pirate Pablo♥

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Pirate Pablo♥ last won the day on March 31 2016

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About Pirate Pablo♥

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    SBM's residential fuck boy
  • Birthday 07/27/1978

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    07/27/1978 When I was 18... 18 years old, I saw for the first time in my life... I saw an image of clarity. I saw a comic strip... a three panel comic strip that, though simple as it seemed, changed me... changed my being, changed who I am... Made me who I am... Enlightened me... The strip, Garfield, the comic strip was new... no more than maybe a month and a half since inception, since... since coming into existence... and there it was before me in print, I saw it... a comic strip... What was it called? Garfield. The story here is of a man, a plain man. He is Jon, but he is more than that... I will get to this later, but first let us say that he's Jon, a plain man. And then there is a cat... Garfield. This is the nature of the world, here. When I see the world, the politics, the future, the... the satellites in space, and... the people who put them there... You can look at everything as a man and a cat... two beings, in harmony and at war... So, this strip I saw; this man, Jon, and the cat, Garfield, you see... Yes... hmm... It is about everything. This... little comic is, oh, lo and behold... not so little anymore. So yes, when I was 18, I saw this comic... and it hit me all at once, its power. I clipped it, and every day, I looked at it, and I said "Okay... let me look at this here. What is this doing to me? Why is this so powerful?" Jon Arbuckle, he sits here, legs crossed... comfortable in his home, and he reads his newspaper... The news of the world, perhaps... and then he extends his fingers lightly, delicately... he taps his fingers on an end table, and he feels for something... What is it? It is something he needs, but it is not there. And then he looks up, slightly cockeyed, and he thinks... His newspaper's in his lap now, and he thinks this... Now where could my pipe be? This... I always come to this, because I was a young man... I'm older now, and I still don't have the secrets, the answers, so this question still rings true, Jon looks up and he thinks... Now where could my pipe be? And then it happens... You see it, you see... it's almost like divine intervention, suddenly it is there, and it overpowers you... A cat is smoking a pipe. It is the man's pipe, it's Jon's pipe, but the cat... this cat, Garfield, is smoking the pipe... and from afar, and someplace near, but not clear... near but not clear... The man calls out... Jon calls out, he is shocked. "Garfield!" he shouts. Garfield. The cat's name. But, let's take a step back... let us examine this from all sides, all perspectives... and when I first came across this comic strip, I was at my father's house... a newspaper had arrived, and I picked it up for him, and brought it inside. I organized its sections for him and then, yes, the comic strip section fell out from somewhere in the middle, and landed on the kitchen floor... I picked up the paper pages and saw, up somewhere near the top of this strip... just like Jon, I was wearing an aquamarine shirt. So I thought, "Ah, interesting. I'll have to see this later." I snipped out the little comic, and held on to it... and five days later, I reexamined it... and it gripped me, I needed to find out more about this. The information I had was minimal, but enough... An orange cat named Garfield... Okay, that seemed to be the lynchpin of this whole operation, yes. Another clue... a signature in the bottom right corner, a man's name... Jim Davis. Yes, I'm on to it for sure. So... one: Garfield, orange cat, and two: Jim Davis, the creator of this cat... And that curiously plain man. I did not know, at the time, that his name was Jon. This strip, you see, had no mention of this man's name, and I'd never seen it before. But I had these clues; Jim Davis, Garfield. And then I saw more, I spotted the tiny copyright mark in the upper left corner. Copyright 1978 to... what is this? Copyright belongs to a... PAWS Incorporated... I use the local library and mail services to track down the information I was looking for... Jim Davis, a cartoonist, had created a comic strip about a cat, Garfield... and a man, Jon Arbuckle. Well, from that point on, I made sure I read the Garfield comic strips, though as I read each one, as each day passed... the strips seemed to resonate with me less and less... I sent letters to PAWS Incorporated, long letters, pages upon pages... asking if Mister Jim Davis could somehow publish just the one comic, over and over again... "It would be meditative," I wrote, "the strength of that." Could you imagine? But... no response... The strips lost their power, and eventually I stopped reading, but... I did not want my perceptions diluted, so I vowed to read the pipe strip over and over again... That is what I call it, "The Pipe Strip." The Pipe Strip. Everything about it is perfect. I can only describe it as a miracle creation, something came together... the elements aligned... It is like the comets, the cosmic orchestra that is up there over your head... The immense, enormous void is working all for one thing, to tell you one thing... Gas and rock, and purity, and nothing. I will say this... When I see the pipe strip... and I mean every single time I look at the lines, the colors, the shapes that make up the three panel comic... I see perfection. Do I find perfection in many things? Some things, I would say... Some things are perfect... and this is one of them. I can look at the little tuft of hair on Jon Arbuckle's head... it is the perfect shade... The purple pipe in Garfield's mouth... How could a mere mortal even MAKE this? I have a theory, about Jim Davis... After copious research and, yes, of course, now we have the internet, and this information is all readily available, but... Jim Davis, he used his life experiences to influence his comic... Like I mentioned before, none of them seem to have the weight of the pipe strip... But you have to wonder about the man who is able to even, just once, create the perfect form, a literally flawless execution of art, brilliance! Just as in a ward... I think there is a spiritual element at work... I've seen my share of bad times and... when you have something... Well, it's just... emotions, and neurons in your brain, but... something tells you that it's the truth... Truth's radiant light. Garfield, the cat? Neurons in my brain, it's... it's harmony, you see? It... Jon and Garfield, it's truly harmony, like a... continuous, looping, everlasting harmony... The lavender chair, the brown end table, the salmon-colored wall, the fore's green carpeting, Garfield is hunched, perched... perhaps with the pipe stuck firmly between his jowls... His tail curls around. It's more than shapes too, because... I... Okay, stay with me... I've done this experiment several times. You take the strip. You trace only the basic elements. You can do anything, you can simplify the shapes down to just... blobs, just outlines, but it still makes sense... You can replace the blobs with magazine cutouts of other things, replace Jon Arbuckle with a... car parked in a driveway sideways, cut that out of a magazine, stick it in... Replace him there in the second panel with a... a food processor... Okay, and then we put a picture of the planet in the third panel over Garfield... It still works. These are universal proportions. I don't know... how best to explain why it works, I've studied the pipe strip, and analyzed Jon and Garfield's proportions against several universal mathematical constants. E, Pi, the Golden Ratio, the Feigenbaum Constants, and so on... and it's surprising... scary even, how things align. You can take just... tiny pieces of the pipe strip, for instance, take Jon's elbow from the second panel... and take that, and project it back over Jon's entire shape in the second panel, and you'll see a near perfect Fibonacci sequence emerge... It's eerie to me... and it makes you wonder if you're in the presence of a deity, if there is some larger hand at work... There's no doubt in my mind that Jim Davis is a smart man... Jim Davis is capable of anything to me... He is remarkable, but this is so far beyond that, I think we might see that... this work of art is revered and respected in years to come. Jim Davis is possibly a new master of the craft, a... a genius of the eye; they very well may say the same things about Jim Davis in five hundred years that we say about the great philosophical and artistic masters from centuries ago... Jim Davis is a modern day Socrates, or... Da Vinci... mixing both striking visual beauty with classical, daring, unheard-of intellect... Look, he combines these things to make profoundly simple expressions... This strip is his masterpiece... The Pipe Strip is his masterpiece... and it is a masterpiece and a marvel... I often look at Garfield's... particular pose, in this strip. He is poised, and statuesque... and his cat stare is reminiscent of the fiery gazes often found in religious iconography... But still, his eyes are playful, lying somewhere between the solemn father's expression in... Rembrandt's "Return of the Prodigal Son," and the coy smirk of Da Vinci's "Saint John The Baptist". His ears stick up, signifying a peaked readiness... It's as if he could, at any moment, pounce; he is, after all, a close relative and descendant of the mighty jungle cats of Africa that could leap... after prey. You could see the power drawn into Garfield's hind quarters, powerful haunches indeed. The third panel. And I'm just saying this now, this is just coming to me now... The third panel of the pipe strip is essentially a microcosm for the entire strip itself... All the power dynamics, the struggle for superiority, right? WHO has the pipe? WHERE is the pipe? All of that is drawn, built, layered into Garfield's iconic pose here. You can see it in the curl of his tail... Garfield's ear whiskers stick up, on end, the smoke billows, upward... drawing the eye upward... increasing the scope... I'm just... amazed... really, that after 33 years of reading, and analyzing the same comic strip, I'm able to find new dimensions. It's a testament to the work... For six years, I delved into tobacco research, because... can a cat smoke? This is a metaphysical question... Yes, can any cat smoke? Do we know? Can just Garfield smoke? The research says no. Nicotine poisoning can kill animals, especially household pets. All it takes is the nicotine found in as little as a single cigarette. [ *Okamoto M, Kita T, Okuda H, Tanaka T, Nakashima T (Jul 1994). "Effects of aging on acute toxicity of nicotine in rats". Pharmacol Toxicol. 75 (1): 1-6. doi: 10.1111/j.1600-0773.1994.tb00316.x. PMID 7971729 ] Surely, Jon's pipe hold a substantial amount of tobacco, and it is true that pets living in the homes of smokers are nearly 25% more likely to develop some form of cancer... most likely due to secondhand smoke... but these are facts of smoking, its tolls on our world. But after visiting two tobacco processing plants in Virginia... and the Phillip Morris cigarette manufacturing facility, I came no closer to cracking the meaning. I was looking for any insight. A detective of a homicide case has to look at every angle, so I'm always taking apart the pipe strip. I focused on every minutiae, every detail of this strip. Jon Arbuckle's clothing... I have replicas. I'm an expert in textiles... so, you see, this smoking thing was a hang-up for me... but it was the statement here... until... This is key, this is the breakthrough. The pipe is not a pipe, really. Obviously there is symbolism at work here... I saw that from the beginning, and I looked at the literal aspects of the strip to gain insight into the metaphors at play... I worked at a newspaper printing press for eighteen months, in the late 1980's... I was learning the literal to inform the gestural... the subliteral, the in-between... Jon reading this newspaper means so much more than just... Jon reading the newspaper... but how could you ever hope to decipher the puzzle without knowing everything there is to know about newspapers?! Okay... for example... Jon holds his newspaper up with his left hand, thumb gripping the interior. I learned that this particular grip here was the newspaper grip of nineteenth century aristocrats... and this aristocrat grip was a point of contention that influenced the decision to move forward with prohibition... in the United States, in the early twentieth century! So Jon's hand position is much more than that, it... it is a comment on class war... and the resulting reactionary culture... but I didn't know about the aristocratic newspaper grip until I came across some microfiche archives at the printing press. It's about information. You have to take it apart. ...and the breakthrough on the smoking cat came late... just eight years ago, actually. "Smoking cat" is an industry term. It's what the smoking industry calls a tattletale teenager who tells on his friends after they've all tried smoking for the first time... and it is actually a foreign translation, bastardization of the term "smoking rat"... But the phrase was confused when secret documents went back and forth between China and America... These documents are still secret, and the only reason I know about the term is because I know a man, my friend. Let's call him "Timothy," yeah... yes, it's a fake name, for his protection. Timothy worked for Phillip Morris for sixteen years, and he had seen the documents... and when he told me, it was an Aha moment... and he said, "But how? How could this cartoonist, Jim Davis, know about this... obscure term from the mid-70's, used exclusively by a few cigarette companies!?" This is still a mystery to me... but I connect the dots by noting Jim Davis' childhood experiences on a farm. He must have seen something... What could it be? Timothy went on to tell me there was one particular smoking cat, a boy, from... yes, Indiana, a boy named Ernie Barguckle, who became a thorn in the side of the tobacco companies for a couple of years... He did more than tattle to his parents; he and his family took legal action, and they eventually received a huge settlement payout... But that name is too similar... Ernie Barguckle... Jon Arbuckle. Jim Davis must have used this. There's more here. Ernie Barguckle spent nearly half of that settlement money on experimental medical procedures to cure his... impotence. He was impotent. So... he was a smoking cat with a... a metaphorical pipe, that did not work... Are you starting to see the layers here? This is exciting stuff, you start to get a whole picture here, and it informs the work! It's... it's just remarkable. Jim Davis took these raw ideas, these... pieces, and he transformed them into smart social commentary that is... all so ravishingly beautiful. I have cried. I've cried, I've cried... I've cried, cried over this piece. It just... gets in my soul. I try to explain this to people, I have... the newspaper articles about Ernie Barguckle... People have fought me on this, they don't see it, or they're close-minded, "How could a comic strip about a cat smoking a pipe mean any more than that?" But it is more... and when I feel spiritual, or start to think existentially, I still see this comic. Here's something from 1981 that I wrote in thinking about the implications of this strip; this is just an excerpt here... there's more before and after, but this part is the essence to me... If a comic about a cat smoking a pipe can be the only thing in the universe... then maybe this is the strongest evidence for that. *fumbles with tattered sheet from 1981* "Many of you say, 'Oh, but I am not blind. I have never been blind,'... But when you truly see, you will understand just how truly blind you once were to even think it right to say you were not blind. What does a blind man see? Blackness. Darkness. Blankness. Blank darkness. Dark blankness. The absence of things, quite literally NO thing. No things. Nothings. So, you see nothing, and I bring you into the light. A cat has your pipe! You've been blind, do you understand this!? The cat has your pipe. You can't fully immerse yourself, you don't have the light. You don't have the radiance, the radical light, the radically radiant light of truth and truth's belonging love, and nature of light, and loving truthful radiance. So don't be bold, and make bold statements. I know of you. The cat has your pipe. The. Cat. Has. Your. Pipe. Remember that." *puts paper back in pocket* That writing, well... It's kind of rough... Kind of an... early eighties feel... and I see that, but I'm still... I'm still proud of it. Sometimes I imagine that it is the editorial column in the newspaper Jon Arbuckle is reading. It's an exercise in recursion, it's like a vortex opens up... It's like you hold two mirrors up to each other, one is reality and the other is a cartoon strip. Let's see here... Oh yes, I must bring this up, because I think, surely, Jim Davis is again speaking on multiple levels by including the details set before us in the comic. Notice the glimpse of Jon Arbuckle's foot in the first panel. The size of the shoe would indicate that maybe the man just has small feet... but a deeper investigation takes us to the footbinding rituals of certain Asian cultures. Inflicted usually on women for the desire of men, this practice was incredibly painful and crippling... Aha! Mister Davis is, here, presenting us with a man, or rather... "man", who engages in footbinding, a body modification for women, on top of "being without his pipe"... or impotent. This is a man facing extreme inner turmoil, the panels tell that story... subconsciously. Notice the background wall shading of the first panel points inward toward Jon in the second panel... and the sharp tapered end of the purple pipe in the third frame also points at John in the second panel, inward; the eye is drawn to the center panel. You can connect these points and draw a triangle across the panels, and this triangle will align with the reoriented points of Jon's collar! This, this is majestic artwork! ...and to uncover this hidden order is... bliss like I've never known. Comforting, in an empty world. I can't help but read the thought bubble, over and over again. Now where could my pipe be? Now where could my pipe be? It is a profound question. Why am I here? What is my purpose? It is reflection and self-examination here. It is facing the dust, the misery of a cold, careless universe. You can feel the weight of it. But where could my pipe be? One imagines the author, Jim Davis, teetering on the edge of insanity... his rationality, his lucidity, hovering over the void... and he seeks the truth. You can see it in the line quality of the drawings; the thoughtful, controlled outlines mixed with the... occasional, chaotic scribbles at work in the shadows and Garfield's dark stripes. It's almost as if Garfield is chaos himself. Yes, he is the embodiment of chaos, disorder, hatred, fear... Thievery, death, destruction, desolation! These are the things Garfield represents; HE stole the pipe, HE sits with his back to Jon, Garfield... Garfield, this chaos cat, Garfield has turned his back on everything, everyone! One recalls the great existential forces in literature... Camus' Meursalt, Kafka's Gregor Samsa, or Sartre's Antoine Roquentin... Garfield the Cat sees the hopelessness of life, which...ah, yes... This is why Jim Davis has chosen smoking. It represents a recklessness, a... a disregard for what some would define as the beauty of life. Garfield may die from the nicotine, he may not... He defies life; he sits defiant, saying nothing, but looking as if he could say... "Then let me die... it does not matter." It does not matter. ...and we are faced with this; Could Jon behave the same? Is Jon the glimmer of hope? He seems to be unsure. Again, his question... "Now where could my pipe be?" indicates that he is wrestling with his own existence. The center panel centers the issue, and again, this hearkens to many of the great religious works of art. I'm talking about the Pipe Strip in relation to religion. It's... it's interesting to assign the roles of God... and anti-God, or, as many know him to be, the devil... or on a much larger scale, simply the forces of... good and evil. Garfield, the thief-cat, evil and malicious... He is the devil, placed to the right... and note, the two forms of Jon; the Jon on the left, still innocent, still draped in the... delight, of the lack of knowledge. He is... the humans in the Garden of Eden. He feels for his pipe... but he has yet to eat from the tree... and Garfield, the sinister serpent... and notice, notice how Jim Davis has framed this... The center Jon is locked in a struggle, between his innocence, and his knowledge of the truth... knowledge of the existence of evil. It is stunning. The great struggle, the struggle that transcends time... and Jim Davis floats over all this, as creator... the God, of sorts, in his own right. ... and he presents this cautionary message to us all; it is as if he is speaking from high and... he is saying, unto our awaiting ears... Where will you be, when the cat reveals himself? [-Jim 7:27:78] I can tell you where you'll be. You will have a choice; you can face endless suffering, and eternal misery... You can be forced and beaten down with barbarians, who claw at each other just for a view of salvation. They'll tear your eyeballs out, and rip your gizzards from end to end. They worship this cat, this... this false idol! This evil, horrible cat, do not be seduced by the cat and the pipe! Garfield... thy name is a mark of the demons of hell. Something like this, and to those listening, it is a stark reminder to follow the path of the first panel Jon; be humble, be grateful, honor the law, and honor thyself. Be true, and be good, and no harm will come to you... Pray for salvation, and it will be granted unto you. Be like Jon Arbuckle, as he lowers his head. Be like Jon Arbuckle as he lowers his paper, as he turns his head. Bow with Jon Arbuckle, and praise unto the creator, Jim Davis... and banish demon Garfield from your life. So, what is all this? What am I saying? Aha... hmm... What does all this mean? Why is this one comic strip so important to me... and why do I feel the need to share this? Obligation. I have an obligation to you all. This is a redemption, this is a belief in redemption, a sacrifice of all the obvious trappings of this false modern life. Look at the simplicity in this strip, in the pipe strip. Look at the simple clothes Jon wears, look at his simple, basic furniture... No adornments on the wall, even the very pipe his cat Garfield stole; it is a plain, modest pipe... and I have adapted this way of life, it speaks to me. In our times... well... you don't need me to point out the hyperbole of our times; you have children being born eight or nine at a time, you have more money being spent on a single Hollywood movie than some nations can spend... feeding their starving people. Torture, distrust... Look around you, it's overwhelming. What can you contribute? ...and every day, I look in the mirror, and I hold this comic up to the mirror, and I look into the mirror, and at this little comic strip. Be humble. Be thankful. It is a reminder, be respectful. You are a statue. You are fragile... and when you break, when you shatter... Where will those pieces go? Ask... ask, ask, ask this question. Will you ask? Humankind is only as great as you, YOU, the individual, it begins and ends with you! You must treat this expedition, this search, this... life, with a reverence and intensity found only in the smallest sticks. The littlest leaf, the tiniest stone! The most miniscule grain of sand... on a beach of billions! This is the secret. Do you want the pipe? Do you want to know where the pipe has gone? You ask yourself, you ask... you ask... you ask... Now where could my pipe be? When I was a young man... remember, now, I first saw this comic when I was eighteen years old... Ages ago... but I was youthful, vibrant. For weeks, I didn't hide that a comic strip was having such a profound effect on me. I was much like Jon Arbuckle. In this middle panel, he says, "Now where could my pipe be?"... you could look into his eyes, his half-lowered eyes, and think to yourself... "Now, surely, Jon... Surely, you cannot be this naive... This is nothing new for you..." And if you've read more of the Garfield comic strips by Jim Davis, you understand what I am saying now; Garfield the cat does things like this all the time. He will take things from Jon; food, items, anything... This is his very nature. So you see this, and you want to say, "Jon Arbuckle, come now. You are lying to yourself. You are lying to yourself, and to all of us, if you pretend to have not... any idea of where your pipe has gone. Perhaps you think you've left it somewhere else, but... hmph, you're not so forgetful. You are lying to yourself, ah... yes... You are lying to yourself, Jon Arbuckle. You know that Garfield has the pipe... somewhere, deep down, you know this. You don't even need to think the question." And that was me when I saw this strip. One week passed, and each morning I'd open my drawer and slam it shut again. I would go to look at the comic... but I'd pause, and think... "Oh no, I don't need this comic, I don't n... I don't NEED to look at it..." But there I was, lying to myself. I DID need to see it, and so I did, it's... cathartic. You give in, and that is the transition, from the second panel of life, to the third panel of life! It is a simple story structure, the passage from the second act to the third, the twilight of things. Jon gives into his suspicions; he knows the truth, he's ALWAYS known the truth, he yells out, "GARFIELD! GARFIELD! GARFIELD!" It is like... pressure from a steam valve, being released; the buildup is unbearable, and then... PSSHHWW, it's gone. So it is like this... when I speak about the truth... the truth, the light, the radiance, this... this is the kind of thing I'm talking about. This is the essence of this brilliant work of art, the practical mixing, meeting, agreeing with the spiritual, it is all HERE. ...but spirituality is not an easy thing to confront. You might find yourself able to wrap your mind around a simple math problem, or a basic newspaper article, or... but intellect... is much less subjective. What is spirituality... and how have I found spiritual peace and serenity in Garfield? A long time ago, after I encountered the Pipe Strip... I spent some time, as I mentioned before, soul-searching. When something impacts you, or alters your very perception so greatly, there is a long period of confusion, recovery time... It's as if you don't know who you are, and that can be a... a very scary prospect, especially if you thought you had a good grasp on that sort of thing. Imagine if Jim Davis did not know who he was. Would he be capable of shaping the cultural landscape as he's done? No. No, of course he wouldn't. ...and how about his characters? Jon... what if Jim Davis suddenly woke up, and didn't know who Jon was? What if he couldn't make the informed decisions to accurately depict Garfield's personality, because of... he could no longer specify, or demarcate the boundaries of Garfield's behavior? What kind of comic would THAT be? You see? So draw the parallel. I saw this comic and, yes, I was disoriented... and if I didn't reconcile this issue with myself, what kind of person would I be? Undoubtedly dire circumstances, but remember; this was not a math problem, this was not an article, this was not something I could just... figure out... and as skeptical as I was, I realized that faith and spirituality were avenues that... required exploring. At first I tried... long nights, reading Garfield by candlelight, or... aromatic meditation settings, while thinking of Garfield, but... nothing snapped. Nothing clicked, I still felt lost... but I kept it up, I hired a shaman, and a young... personal Yogi Sikh Guru; Avram Dahb Singh Sahib. I pushed and pushed, determined to find myself. And then, a miracle happened. Upon retrieving my morning paper, to clip the Garfield comic... I noticed a young girl, selling lemonade two houses down. She sat, occupied at her stand. She had no customers in sight. So, I approached, and saw that she was coloring. I looked at her drawing... Three rectangular boxes. A man, in a blue shirt. An orange cat. I knew what this was. Even in her crude scribbles, I knew EXACTLY what this was. She was drawing a Garfield comic. I looked at her words, and I saw that, in her strip, Jon asked Garfield to retrieve a newspaper. Heh, funny... since I'd done just that with myself... Garfield is sarcastic, but agrees to. He returns and calls Jon... "Sahib". Jon exclaims that the paper's all chewed up, but then Garfield says, and I quote, "Sahib asks fish, paper is wet. Sahib asks cat, paper is holey." I remember the words, and ran back to my house, and thought, "How odd that Sahib shows up in the strip, and my spiritual advisor's name is Avram Dahb Singh Sahib!" Coincidence surely, but, nonetheless, I spent the next sixteen hours poring through my clipped Garfield comics, looking for the strip this young girl had been coloring... I couldn't find it... and I eventually fell asleep, right on my kitchen table. Next morning, I retrieved my paper again, and I clipped the Garfield comic. The date was July 12th, 1983. There it was. The Sahib Strip, in all its glory. The girl had been drawing the next day's strip! So, I ran right out of my house, I ran back to where she was... but she was gone, and in place of the lemonade stand was a "For Sale" sign. They'd moved out. I rushed back to my house to call Avram, but... I was informed that he'd moved away as well. I reeled, for several hours, and then it all connected for me. It was meant to be. It w... it was meant to be this way! Jim Davis... Jon, Garfield... It was always meant to be this way for me.... They move to the forefront, and everything else fades away, EVERYTHING else; the girl, the lemonade stand, Avram Dahb Singh Sahib, it all existed to show me the way, and when I'd found the way... Everything else melted away. It was a beautiful miracle... and if July 27th, 1978, the day I first saw the pipe strip... was the first day of my life, then that day, July 12th, 1983, was the second day of my life. I've never looked back. Garfield has transformed me... and I am a man, born anew, because of Garfield. When I was in my mid-thirties, I was interviewed for a documentary... It was a documentary on the subject of cat behavior. Now, I've had cats my whole life; I have three cats now, and at the time of this documentary interview, I had four cats. I sat down for the interview and was joined by a veterinarian who specialized in felines: Doctor Caroline Wellmitz was her name, I believe... and the doctor discussed colorblindness in animals, and how it affects their behavior. She specifically brought up the fact that cats are red-green colorblind; they can see colors, but they can't tell the difference between red and green ...and look at the color choice in this strip here. Garfield sits on a green floor, behind a pinkish red wall. I heard this, and I immediately pulled a copy of the comic from my wallet to show to the doctor... I moved so fast, I'm sure I nearly scared her, I... pointed at the paper and said, "Like this! Like this! Look, at this here! This cat, Garfield, he's colorblind, he must be! That must be the answer here... like this." As over-excited as I was, I managed to take in her response; she said "Yes, a cat in this room would have a hard time differentiating the wall from the floor. Add to that a cat's known spatial confusion, and you have the makings of a Cat Rage room." Now, she informed me that this isn't exactly common knowledge among cat owners... but a seasoned cat owner, or someone particularly perceptive will have picked up on it. So what's incredible here is not only is Garfield's behavior symbolic of the devil, and all the evil constructs in the world, but... but, but... but also, it is rooted in science and scientific fact. Look at that. You cannot spell fact without "cat". Hah, just a little joke there... just some wordplay, but getting back on track... ...and you can't spell track without "cat." Okay... I digress. I gotcha, I gotcha, enough... kidding around. It is established here that Garfield is in a rage; an ultimate rage of fury and hatred, caused by colorblindness. We know the "what", we know the "why"... but let us examine the "how", the how of his rage is particularly interesting here. We've looked at his posture and called it "powerful", "in control", "statuesque", "etc., etc." Composed rage... It's peculiar, and I've talked to a number of psychologists and psychiatrists, and even a couple of anger management therapists about this concept... Could we see the same kind of behavior in a human? Is Garfield representative of something more specific than just chaos and rage? Deciphering this is going to take some perseverance. for sure. The psychologists pointed to a phenomenon in humans, and, yes, I believe one of the anger management counselors brought it up as well. The idea that people, oftentimes, will bottle their rage... Garfield the cat, here... well, he could be bottling his anger, inside, shoving it deep into his cat gut, to ignore and deal with at a later time. Eh, well... No, that's not exactly right. Garfield has already acted out, he's already stolen the pipe... he's SMOKING the pipe, he's already dealt with his anger. He's already lashed out, so, psychologically, what is going on here? What is this cat doing, and how does it impact his owner, Jon Arbuckle... psychologically? Well, Garfield is angry. He is acting on his anger... but is this passive anger, or aggressive anger? Passive. It is passive because if Garfield has a problem with Jon specifically... he's choosing a passive way of dealing with that problem. He has not confronted Jon, and said, "Jon, I have a problem with the way you've decorated this room; as a cat, I am colorblind, and this room sends me into a rage... You've created a rage room for me here, and I don't like it; I want you to change it." Instead of that confrontational approach, though, Garfield has chosen to steal Jon's pipe... and that, in turn, angers Jon... but Jon decides to be aggressively angry, and yell at Garfield, so... now, instead of a calm conversation between two respectful parties, you have two... heated, angry individuals, each with a problem and no direct line to solving it. The layered emotions here tell a story with tight, focused brevity that would make Hemingway weep. This is an entire drama, in just three panels, people. ...but let's not be remiss, and miss the humor of the situation, the... absurdity of it all... for certainly, there is a reason that the visual shorthand for drama includes both the crying mask AND a laughing mask. Comedy and tragedy complement each other, and meld together to create drama, tension, the height of humanity, the peak of art, that reflects back to us our own condition... ...and here... in its basest form, we can laugh at this comic... yes, COMIC, in which a cat smokes a pipe... Hah... when was the last time you've SEEN such a thing in your life? Never, I presume... I certainly never have... The Greek muse, Thalia's presence is strong in this work of art, here. Comedy, it is COMEDY... and if you look at the structure again, you'll see this perfect form of thirds works magically for the transmission of, yes, YES, a JOKE. The joke.... is as old as time... even cavemen told jokes, and the joke here is that Jon has lost his pipe... or he thinks he has... but lo and behold, it is the cat, Garfield, who has the pipe. Surprise, surprise, the cat is smoking! Again, the transition, from set-up to punchline takes place between the second and third panels... but make no mistake, the comic is more than just a comic... Yes, it IS funny, of course it is... it is operating at the height of sophisticated humor, on par with any of Shakespeare's piercing wit. On the one hand, Garfield the comic, with Jon the man, humor as art... the other hand, Garfield comic, with Jon the man, stirring... no, RIVETING drama... as with everything, it is tension, and release. TENSION... and RELEASE... A cycle. I keep returning to this idea, because it is so omnipresent. Yes, you could... and yes, I have done this, on more than one occasion... you could print this comic strip on a giant piece of paper. The dimensions would be something like... thirty-four inches by eleven inches. Now, tape the ends together, with the comic facing inward. Stick your head in the middle of this Garfield comic loop and READ, start at the first panel; Jon is reading the newspaper... he feels for something on the end table. Second panel; he sets the newspaper down, something is not right... "Where could my pipe be?" he thinks. ...and then, the payoff; the third panel, Garfield has Jon's pipe, and is smoking it. But, aha! The paper is in a loop, around your head... so that you can see that, once again, Jon is in his seat, reading the paper... and so on, and so on, you can literally read the comic strip for an eternity! I spent many a relaxing Sunday afternoon reading this strip, over and over... reminded of the Portuguese death carvings, which always begin and end with the same scrawled image. [fig. 6b - Portuguese Death Carving c. 1330] So, this idea of repetition, of the beginning being the end, and the end being the beginning... It's not new, it is an ageless tradition among the best storytellers humanity has ever offered... and I'm not wrong to include cartoonist Jim Davis in that exalted set for this particular strip alone I'm not foolish enough to deny that great art is subjective... divisive, even, and that some people see this Garfield comic and shrug with no real reaction... but I will say that I believe everyone in the world should see it; at the very least, see it! You should all see it. Read it. Spend some time with it. Spend an hour reading it... what's an hour? Yes, you could watch some television program, you could play some fast-paced video games or computer games, yes, you could do all those things... But it's just an hour... and if you give this strip a chance, if you look into Jon Arbuckle's eyes... if you look into Jon Arbuckle's SOUL... You might find that you'll really be looking into your own soul. It is self discovery, that is what I'm talking about here... YOU have the opportunity, the possibility... it could change you. Don't be afraid. You know, just last week, I was eating lunch near the Municipal Court... like I do every Thursday, and... there was a plumbing banner... a plumbing van, parked out in front, uh... and a man, a plumber, would step out from the court, and retrieve something from this every so often. A few times, this happened... I thought nothing of it; just a plumber, doing some work at the Municipal Court... but then he came out, and looked through his van, and it was clear... He couldn't find something. I noticed, and thought, "Well, that's sort of similar to the Garfield comic, in a way. Someone looks for something, can't find it,"... but, yes, that probably happens billions of times a day around the world... ...but then, this plumber... put his hands on his hips... then, he scratched his head, and he said aloud... "Now, where could my pipe wrench be?" Well, at this, I leaped off the bench, sandwich still in hand, and I rushed over, I shouted, "What was that you said!?" He looked at me and said, "What? I can't find my pipe wrench, " and I said, "No! No, no, say it... like how you just said it..." He scratched his head, and repeated, "Now where could my pipe wrench be?" I slapped him on the back and said, "Garfield!" He looked so confused, so I said it again... then, I said "Your orange cat took it!" Heh... ah, then I laughed and laughed... and he smiled, and went back into the courtroom. I walked away, knowing that the plumber and I, two complete strangers, bonded over this Garfield comic... You see, life imitates art, becomes a common ground. I have a feeling that if I see this plumber again, we'll be sharing stories like two old friends... because we've been united by art. We have a common love for Jim Davis and his characters, his writings... The humor, the drama, the... that rascal Garfield, the cat... Oh, and by the way, if you're wondering what I was having for lunch that day, it was a ham sandwich with an apple and potato chips... in a bag, I had a soda as well. I think it's important to view the Pipe Strip in philosophical terms... We've touched briefly on the notion of existentialism; that theme is very prevalent in this strip. Garfield is, in fact, a modern existential anti-hero... but if Garfield embodies the bewilderment in a meaningless life, what is Jon? What are the telltale signs that inform Jon's philosophical standpoint? His approach, what style of thinking he represents? Jon is depicted as being grounded in the material world... a world of things; he is surrounded by objects, and he touches these objects, he interacts with them. The newspaper, the end table, the chair... his clothes, all these physical things make up Jon's world. In some sense, even his cat Garfield is an object to him, a thing... The first ideology that comes to mind when thinking of objects in the tangible world... is pragmatism... Is Jon Arbuckle a pragmatist? His beliefs stem from a useful, coherent view of his environment... a sort of cause-and-effect understanding of his world helps him. A: Deduce that his pipe is missing... and B: Catches his cat, Garfield, using the pipe. This kind of empirical and logical thinking lends credence to the idea that Jon is, indeed, a pragmatist... Although, it is hard to entirely ignore the rest of the Garfield comic canon. While Garfield is consistently anarchic, and embraces the chaos and absurdity of life... Jon Arbuckle exhibits an erratic, unpredictable mix of philosophical behaviors. At times, he is borderline; delusional, an idealist, an almost slap-happy version of Don Quixote. Other moments, he is rigid, nearly to the point of being obsessive... somewhat like a structuralist, and certainly has streaks of sarcasm and negativity that might classify him as a skeptic. ...But isn't there some universal truth in this approach? How can any one man, how can Jon Arbuckle be just one thing? How can any of us be just one thing? We're... an amalgamation of ideas, of emotions... conducts and functions, thoughts and feelings... Jon Arbuckle may very well inhabit tenets of nearly every major philosophical tract known to man. We all might. Characters are reduced, to make them recognizable, definable; a story needs a good guy, a story needs a bad guy... but rarely is one person defined in such black and white terms. Even Garfield, with all his bad behavior, Machiavellian motivation and general ne'er-do-well attitude, can be kind and thoughtful. You just have to find that rare strip. Speaking philosophically about the entire Garfield franchise, it's an incredibly accurate depiction of life. Its bold lines and bright colors are merely a facade, a... a red herring, a lie. This cartoon is not a cartoon at all, it is not a... caricature. It is not caricature despite adopting caricature as its visual style and tone. ...but I don't really like to speak in broad sweeping generalizations about Garfield. The comic has been running for over thirty years, and to try and boil that all down is just, well... it's impossible. I think the only way that any historian worth his salt will agree with me is to look at individual moments... isolated instances, single comic strips. Can I discuss this one strip in the context of the entire run of Garfield? Yes, I do that just as a film historian might analyze one movie in relation to the history of all movies, or a war enthusiast might look at a single battle's impact on an entire war. The Pipe Strip is just an instance in the lives of Jon and Garfield. Perhaps Jon is not a pragmatist at all... let's look at this again. Maybe Jon is exhibiting the traits of a rationalist thinker; his question, "Now where could my pipe be?" is a clue that his thought process stems from the early rationalist questions posed by René Descartes. The well-known quote, "I think, therefore I am," attributed to Descartes, is applicable. Another close look at the strip, and we see that Jim Davis chose to draw Jon thinking his question. "Now where could my pipe be?" Jon does not speak this question aloud, so Jim Davis is also exploring the mind/body duality... Jon's question operates on the level of a literal question... but it also examines the nature of reality. Jim Davis' epistemological approach tells us something about the human condition; Jon's thoughts remain the focal point of this strip. The comic is, quite literally, centered around his thought. "Now where could my pipe be?" This is his reality, this is where cognition, and the power and function of the mind take over. As Plato believed, the body is just a shell for Jon Arbuckle; yes, he can use his physical body to read his paper or cross his legs, but these inputs of touch, sight, hearing, et cetera, these senses are the triggers of the mind, as we see here, the mind... is something greater. It is the originator of ideas, and ideas are forever. Immortal. Immortality through thought, a... a major theme in literature and philosophy... ...and isn't that what Mister Jim Davis himself has achieved? Will he live forever? The universe will continue to spread, and spread outward, and... entropy will turn a chaotic infinity into a homogenous, controlled system. This will take billions of years, and in that time, humans will push technology to heights we can't imagine. We'll explore and inhabit space, and occupy more and more of the universe, just as time allowed our ancestors to... multiply in numbers, and populate more and more of the Earth. ...and as the specific people come and go, their physical bodies will be born, and grow, and die... but their thoughts will remain... and Jim Davis' comics, his glorious Garfield comics... are recorded ideas of his, that will still be here. Even when the Earth is no longer inhabitable, and humanity has long since moved away to bigger planets, they'll carry with them a record, a record we all keep; mark my words... and look at what we've started, what is... What is the internet? What is the online world, if not a record? Never-ending feed of ideas, immortal ideas... forever placed in the ether of dualism. What is an idea? Where does it live? How does it manifest itself? Can it live forever? Will it live forever, outside of these physical husks of ours, our bodies? ...and Jon Arbuckle, and Garfield, started merely as thoughts... but they've become so much more. That old cliché rings true, they've taken on a life of their own... and life may not be what we think. Life brings to mind a beating heart, breathing lungs, blinking eyes... ...but the real life is in our imaginations... and who better embodies the definition of imagination if not a simple man... a cartoonist, who puts his ideas to paper so that they may live on, so that our children, and our children's children, and their children's children's children can access the wealth of ideas that have accumulated thus far... They will plug themselves into an information grid, and they will have access... They will read every Garfield comic, 80,000 years from now, a child will see a simple Jon Arbuckle, reading a newspaper. He will feel around for something, but that something is not there... He will lift his head and think... "Now where could my pipe be?" ...and Garfield will be smoking the pipe, and Jon will yell "GARFIELD!" ...and what then? 80,000 years from now? The child reading this comic will smile... and that smile will transcend space and time and the physical limitations of this existence, whatever they may be, however many dimensions exist... There will always be Garfield... and there will always be its creator... Jim Davis. "It is through art, and through art only, that we can realize our perfection." -Oscar Wilde
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  1. Wrasslin' Crew: Last thread got future endeavored

    That's crazy shit, bummer for no Shield reunion, but hey, Angle is back
  2. Ask the Great Aya anything

    No Man wouldn't know
  3. Ask the Great Aya anything

    "Kondo-san! That is uh...unique costume?" Yamazaki said, greeting his fellow Shinsengumi. "Toshi didn't even dress up! Come on, it's Halloween!!" Kondo yelled while wriggling around. "You know you don't have to do that Kondo! I didn't feel like dressing up, we're supposed to look formal." Hijikata said, straightening his jacket. "You look like a formal jackass." Sougo said lazily. Gonard was finishing up his chicken and licked his fingers. "Let's take a ride in the cruiser! Twice tonight huh Jimmy?" Gonard yelled, sliding into the back of the squad car. "Well guys, we need to hurry and get to LilyMu towers, I'm sure you've heard by now." Yamazaki said. "Oi, you're right. We've been given word just a moment ago straight from Matsudaria to go to the tower immediately or he'll shoot us in front of the Shogun for fun." Kondo said, getting on top of the car. "...why aren't you getting in the car Kondo-san?" Hijikata asked. "I'm saving a seat for Otae! Come on Toshi, she has to come by knowing that her brother is in trouble!" he said, laying on the car. Meanwhile, the scene cuts to Otae asleep, unaware and uncaring. "Let him do what he wants Vice-Chief, tonight's going to be a good night for the Shinsengumi." Sougo said, getting in the back seat with Gonard. "Alright, I guess I'm driving! Let's find this killer and stop him!" Zaki said, hopping into the driver seat, but as he did, a dark figure just out of their sight sneaked into the trunk. "DO YOU MIND YAMAZAKI!" Kondo was hanging on for dear life. "Sorry Chief!" Yamazaki slowed down so Kondo could catch his breath. The 5 were cruising down the road, taking the cool night breeze in. Sougo and Gonard were sharing a sandwich in the backseat. Kondo was checking himself in the mirror for Otae's non-arrival and Hijikata was puffing on his cigarette. Meanwhile, an Indian man was being violently thrown around in the trunk. He took out a camcorder he had in his breast pocket. "HELLO THIS IS SUPERCODPLAYER1995 AND I AM BROADCASTING LIVE FOR ALL MY FANS ON YOUTUBE. I AM CURRENTLY FOLLOWING CRIMINALS POSING AS POLICE OFFICERS, SINCE I AM CLEARLY A VERY REAL AND COOL COP." Super Cod dropped the camera and shrieked. "Did you guys hear that?" Yamazaki said, looking in the backseat. "Could have been Big Blue here, he's snoring and it's keeping me up." Sougo said, pointing at Gonard who was passed out. "No, I'm used to that sound. Must have just been my imagination." Yamazaki said, hitting a bump in the road. Another thud could be heard, but nothing else came from the trunk. Yamazaki checked his mirror and kept rolling. "You know Chief, you don't have to stay up there, I don't think Otae is coming with us." Yamazaki said. "Zaki is right Kondo. Get in here before your costume flies off" Hijikata said taking a big swig of mayo. "No way Toshi! This man is giving up his seat for a very special lady." Kondo said in a very serious voice. "Just leave him up there, if he needs help he can shoot my bazooka, I've got it up there just in case." Sougo said taking a drink of his Big Glug. "Where the hell did you get that?" Hijikata asked. "Oh, this little old guy? Big Blue here had it on him, and I was thirsty." Sougo said, taking another sip. "Oooh, that's not good Sougo. He's had that glug for a week." Yamazaki said, still focusing on the road. Sougo could be heard spitting it out and throwing the cup out the window. Suddenly the car came to a stop and a slam could be heard in the trunk. "Why the sudden stop Jimmy?" Gonard finally awoke. "Traffic, and it's long. I can't flick on my lights either, no room to get through." Yamazaki said, slapping the steering wheel. Hijikata leaned back. "Well, there's nothing else to do here than just relax a bit." he lit another cigarette. "Vice-Chief, that's the second cigarette in like a minute. You are on the fast track to getting cancer. If only that track had some speed-boosts on them." Sougo said, putting a sleeping mask on. "OI SOUGO, I OUGHTA SLICE YOU UP RIGHT HERE!" Hijikata yelled into the backseat. "Can you cut up this sandwich Cancer Man?" Gonard asked. Hijikata was visibly not pleased, but obliged anyway. "You've always wanted to cut bread Hijikata, I know your dreams of being a big Mayonnaise TV chef." Sougo said. "Toshi, I support your dreams as always. You know you don't have to be an officer your whole life." Kondo said from the roof. Hijikata took out his wallet and looked down at his pictures "You're right Kondo...but I can't leave behind everything I worked so hard to forge..." Hijikata threw his cigarette out the window. "I can't throw you guys away." "I can throw you away though." Sougo said, then pretending he was sleep talking. "So...are you cutting it or what?" Gonard asked. Hijikata smirked. "Sure thing Blue Hair." Hijikata grabbed the sandwich and started to carve it up. Gonard looked on amazed. "That's our Vice-Chief for you, he's a sword expert and a food expert...well except for the mayo." Yamazaki said, but was met with a sandwich to the face. "Nice catch Jimmy!" Gonard said, laughing. The traffic was letting up a bit, but not much. Yamazaki was knocked unconscious from the shot by the sandwich. "Yamazaki! Hurry up, I'm getting cold...." Kondo said, shivering. "THEN GET IN THE CRUISER KONDO!" Hijikata yelled, annoyed. "N-n-no way! Tae will get my seat!" Kondo was adamant. Hijikata rolled his eyes and got himself and Yamazaki out of the car. "I'm just going to put this idiot in the trunk." Hijikata walked over and noticed the trunk was slightly ajar. He opened it all the way and saw nothing. He shrugged and threw Yamazaki inside and closed the trunk. As he did that, Super Cod appeared on the other side of the cruiser where the trunk was raised. "BUSINESS WRECKER! I'LL HAVE YOUR ENTIRE DEPARTMENT TAKEN DOWN!" Super Cod hit Hijikata in the face with his billy club and knocked him out cold. "TOSHI! I'LL GET YOU CRIMINAL....if I could get out of these restraints..." Kondo had unfortunately tied himself down so he wouldn't go anywhere while they were waiting in traffic. Sougo was asleep and all that was left was Gonard. "BRING IT BLUE HAIR, I'LL MAKE YOUR FACE TURN BLUE WITH MY SUPER AMAZING CHOKE OUT!" Super Cod lounged into the car at Gonard, but Gonard shrugged him off. "That's not cool hurting Jimmy's friends! A friend of Jimmy's, is a friend of mine!" Gonard said, getting ready in a fighting stance. "Oh you think you are so cool with your martial arts and blah blah blah. PREPARE FOR MY ULTIMATE TECHNIQUE: THE RAJ PODGE!" Super Cod began to drift in the air, channeling in what seemed like chi. His life energy began to glow as he felt power enter his system. "Yes...THIS IS TRUE POWER, POWER GREATER THAN PEWDIEPIE!" as Raj was yelling about a Swedish man, Gonard grabbed him by the leg and threw him against the squad car. "Hey, that was pretty easy!" Gonard said, with a confident smile. He was quickly interrupted when Super Cod grabbed his ankle and tripped him to the ground. "YOU CAN'T STOP ME! YOU STOLE MY CHICKEN DINNER!" he threw a big punch and it landed square in Gonard's face. Super Cod let the fists rain, punch after punch he was connecting. "AND THIS LAST ONE...IS FOR MY MOMMY!" as he was cocking his fist back, a hand grabbed Raj's. He looked up to see a man wearing a face mask. "Oi, I'm trying to sleep in the police car, can you please quiet down your little rough housing." Okita said, clinching harder on the fist. Super Cod stood up and hit Sougo with his other hand right in the gut. The punch was enough to catch the off-guard officer and send him flying against the police car. Okita slowly took the face mask off his face, revealing that evil and sadistic look. Super Cod met his gaze back with a stare as hot as curry. Raj signaled the 'come on' gesture at Sougo, which is quickly did. Sougo unsheathed his sword and began slashing, but Super Cod met his every swing with a more perfectly timed dodge. "YOU CAN'T BEAT ME, I AM THE NUMBER 1 YOUTUBER!" Raj backflipped his way out of a slashed directed to the gut and threw the billy club directly a Sougo, which he cut in half with his blade. "Oi oi, just give up now, I don't want to get too serious with this goofy get-up on." Sougo said, adjusting his bomb outfit. Sougo noticed that the billy club had knocked his bazooka off the patrol car when he split it. Raj also took notice and the two tried to scramble for it. "You don't even know how to use such heavy firearm!" "I'VE SHOT SOMETHING BIGGER IN THE RAJ'S PANTS!" the continued to struggle for the weapon, and Gonard began to stir again. He looked up at Kondo, and the two acknowledge each other. Gonard started to slowly crawl his way un-noticingly towards the car. The bazooka scramble was happening on the opposite side, so Gonard was in the clear to help Kondo out of his self-bondage. "And where do you think you are going BLUE MAN?!" Super Cod came out on top of the scuffle, Sougo was downed and bloody from the encounter, just as Raj was cut and blending from his arms and cheeks. Gonard slowly stood up, also beaten and blooded, raising his hands in defeat. "THAT'S RIGHT TBC SCUM! I WILL RID THE WORLD OF YOU HOOLIGANS!" Super Cod said, walking around the car to face Gonard, bazooka in face. "Look pal...I don't want any trouble...I don't even remember crashing your Circle K!" Gonard said. "IT WAS A 7/11 YOU DOLT! YOU WOULDN'T KNOW A CLASSY CONVENIENCE STORE IF IT HIT YOU IN THE HEAD!" as Super Cod said that, a sword swung by and stabbed him in the right leg, downing the Indian man. He screamed in pain as he fell over. Gonard looked over and saw Yamazaki looking up from the inside of the trunk. "Jimmy! You saved my life!" Gonard hurried over and got his friend out of the trunk. Kondo cheered on from the roof too, but Raj was not in a good shape. "You stabbed...THE GREATEST YOUTUBER EVER! YOU'LL HEAR FROM THE GOOGLE!" Super Cod said, fading out of consciousness. "You're under arrested buddy. I think you're hiding more than you're letting on." Yamazaki said, booking Raj in handcuffs. He shoved Sougo, Hijikata, and Raj into the back of the squad car while Gonard got in the front seat. "Let's get back to the party and find out what's really going on." TBC @Slightly more Spooky Kiyozu♡
  4. Ask the Great Aya anything

    he needs to cheer up with all those good dads around him
  5. Ask the Great Aya anything

    "Well, we've really done it now Jimmy." Gonard said, sipping his tea in their jail cell. "I AM AN OFFICER OF THE LAW!" Yamazaki was shaking the cell door violently. The guard banged on it with his billy club. "Y'all keep it down in thar. I don't want to haf to come in thar." the officer tipped his hat, and twirled his club. "I'm apart of the Shinsengumi pal, I wouldn't mess with me. I have connections with the shogun." Yamazaki said, trying to intimidate the guard. The guard snickered and stopped twirling this club. "Hello boys! It is I, Supercodplayer1995. Did you like my southern accent I put on? I know I don't have much of an accent myself, but I figured I'd give it a try. It shows I am a much better entertainer than Pewdiepie. You also may be wonder, "Why is Raj not working at 7/11 anymore?", well, go ahead and ask." Raj leaned against the cell wall. "Uh...who are you?" Gonard asked confused. "Yeah, I've never seen you before in my life." Yamazaki added. "WHAT? YOU DESTROYED MY 7/11 WITH YOUR OTHER STUPID COP FRIENDS!" Raj yelled. "I AM NOW A COP JUST TO FIND YOU ALL AND ARREST YOU. ALL YOU TBC PIECES OF TRASH!" Raj yelled. "Hmm, yeah doesn't ring a bell...you got a sandwich?" Gonard asked. "Me and Jimmy are starving in here." "NO, YOU WILL GET BREAD AND WATER, THAT IS IT! IN INDIA THAT IS ALL I HAD TO EAT FOR MY LUNCH!" SCP threw bread and water at the two buds. Raj whistled a tune and walked away. "Gonard, we have to get out of here. Nevermind the guard, he shouldn't be a problem." Yamazaki said, rubbing his chin. "Don't worry Jimmy! I have a plan, I know just how to trick the guard!" Gonard said, coming up with a plan. -------------------------------------------------------------------- "Why are you here in the lobby...uh kid?" Shinpachi asked, holding a bowl of candy. "Well, I was supposed to go to the halloween party, but obviously my guardians kind of left me..." Shinji said, looking down at the ground. "Hey, it's alright! Come on, I'll help you get up the stairs." Shinpachi offered his hand out to Shinji but as he did that, Gintoki and Katsura landed on top of Shinji. Shinpachi stood there, shocked but not surprised. "Oi Zura, how did we not break any bones?" Gintoki asked. "Zura janai, Katsura da." Katsura said, brushing himself off while standing up. Shinji looked up as he heard a familiar voice and saw the glorious: Shinji stared in awe, it wasn't his alien boyfriend, but his voice reminded him of that warm feeling. "Zura, stop doing that, you're embarrassing us. This little brat is staring at you like you're a God or something." Gintoki said, rubbing the wound on his head. "I'm sorry Gintoki, but I have to relish in as much spotlight as I can. I'm not just a one sentence character on this chapter of TBC!" Katsura yelled. As Katsura let out his yell, Kagura came back with a rattled Mitsuki. "I found this blue haired girl like this in the bathroom. She was crying in the stall I threw up in, uh huh." Kagura said, taking the bowl of candy back. "It was horrible...the homeless man nailed to a cross, then Lily...she just disappeared." Mitsuki was crying again. "No need to cry blue-haired lady." Umibozu walked out of the gift shop with another full set of hair. "Papi!" Kagura ran over and hugged her dad, he hugged back and sat her down. "There's a serious killer at foot Gintoki. We can't split up, the 7 of us here need to stay in the lobby. We can't let the killer back in, or get out. If we split up, it'll be over." Umibozu said to Gintoki. "Oi, I like your idea Baldy. Let's get our battle station ready!" Gintoki said, pointing towards Madao hanging from the cross outside. ---------------------------------------------------------------- "HA! That green bastard always makes me laugh!" Kamui said, laughing. "Now, nice ladies...and the other orange haired kid. I don't like being tied up! But, I forgive you...if you tell me where you put my Halloween slurpees. Ha! I had TWO of them, and I don't see them anywhere! Abuto, make sure they don't leave!" Abuto shrugged and stood at the door of the living room. Takasugi was still tied to the chair. "I...uhhh..Mikey took them!" Kiyoko pushed Mikey in front of her. "NEEH! I didn't take your slushies...she did!" Mikey pushed Saachan in front of him. "As if I would steal YOUR slushes! I only steal Gin-chan's and that's it!" Saachan said, squinting. "IF YOU DON'T TELL ME WHERE MY SLUSHIES ARE, THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY!" Kamui slowly took off his cupcake hat. "But, you know. Ha! HA! I only, SAVED ALL OF YOU! It would be noble of you to give me my slushies... Oh, oh I am getting frustrated again Abuto. Come over here and rub my shoulders..." Kamui said, sitting back in his chair. Abuto walked over and started to massage his shoulder. "I don't think they know where your drinks are Chief." Abuto said, taking care of his Chief. Kiyoko, Mikey, and Saachan started to back up. "No, no. Don't go anywhere, please. My boss here is just a little hot-headed. If he tries anything, I'll stop him. Could you think of anyone, or any place they could be?" Abuto asked calmly. "Well, you can't wait a good drink, so I'll check the fridge." Kiyoko walked over and opened it but found no slushies. As Mikey and Saachan were attempting to search for the drinks, the upstairs sliding doors slammed shut and out stepped 5 cool ass looking dudes "And then, the bartender says: "Why the long face?!"" Ozu said, as the 5 of them began to laugh. "YOU!" Kamui bolted up and got in Saitama's face. "YOU TOOK MY SLURPAGE! YOU'LL PAY HA!" Kamui threw a giant chop down on Saitama. "Ah!" Saitama said, as the chop did nothing Kamui looked in shock, he tried hitting him again but nothing. Saitama gave him a light push, and it sent Kamui flying into the Bansai room, obliterating the doors. "CHIEF!" Abuto ran to his aid. "You are going to pay for that, right Baldy?" Ozu said, starting to flame up. "I AM TERRIBLY SORRY FOR WHAT MY SENSEI DID!" Genos took a knee and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a bunch of bills and handed them to Ozu. Ozu's eyes turned into dollar signs. "Uh, Ozu, are you ok?" Guano asked. "Of course me boy!" Ozu said, giving Guano a noogie. As the boys were having a good time, Abuto let out a yell. Everyone stopped and looked into the room. Abuto walked out with a shredded bansai plant in his hands. "NO! MY BEST FRIEND! WHAT KIND OF CRUEL MON- oh wait that's just the plant." Takasugi said. Ozu looked on, absolutely shattered. "Kiyoko...I need to rest." Ozu slowly sulked off into his room, defeated. "They left a note..." Abuto picked it up, the note covered in leaves. "THE 4TH VICTIM HAS FALLEN...AND EACH ONE OF YOU WILL FALL LIKE DOMINOES." TBC @Slightly more Spooky Kiyozu♡
  6. Ask the Great Aya anything

    Can't believe it, we might be getting more Mikey. This is the brightest timeline
  7. Ask the Great Aya anything

    spooky dads, but all lovely
  8. Ask the Great Aya anything

    not a bad halloween costume
  9. Ask the Great Aya anything

    Big Boss vs. Foxxy in the pre-show. First of three women matches, pretty legit yo. I think Alica has this win, she hasn't had one in awhile. THE Brian Kendrick and Jack the Gentleman vs. Cedric the Entertainer and Richard Swan. Will probably be your standard tag match, I see Cedric and Swann winning. Elmo vs. Lucha Things for the Cruiserweight Title. I believe Enzo will regain the Cruiserweight Title with the help of his cronies. We next have a Halloween costume party: In which, I believe Finn will win. Miss Pissed Bliss vs. An Old Woman for the Women's Title. Should be an okayest match, Alexa will retain. Social Media Emma takes on the debuting Asuka Langley. I mean come on dog, ain't no way Asuka is losing. She picks up the W. The Main Event is the 3 on 5 TLC match between something that will actually make people cheer for Roman and The Irish-Swish Chocolate Bar, The Jizz, BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN, and THAT'S GOTTA BE, THAT'S GOTTA BE KANE! The Shield wins, no doubts.
  10. Wrasslin' Crew: Last thread got future endeavored

    FUCKING END ME MY GUY
  11. Ask the Great Aya anything

    "Mikey, you are coming up to the Penthouse for the Halloween Costume Party, right?" the purple director's voice could be heard over the phone as the American was laying in his bed. It was nearing Halloween, the air was cool and the leaves falling. It was nearing just around 6:00 pm, the day starting to set. Mikey had been in bed all day since it was a rare occasion of no work. Lily-Mu was on a short one week break to shoot a big Halloween episode. Mikey bumped his cell phone against his head and finally responded, "Yeah dude, I'll be up there in like 10 minutes tops." Mikey hung up and threw the phone on his bed. He completely forgot about the costume party and let out a little "Neeh", very quietly and disappointed in himself. Ozu had been planning the party for a whole month now, and Lily-Mu's biggest star forgot to even buy or make a costume. 'What in the world am I going to wear?! Do I just wear my superhero costume?!' Mikey was scratching his head after running ideas through his thick skull. He was rummaging through his dresser, pulling out all sorts of wacky clothes, "Giant fish? No. Suavey Guy? Nah. Guano's skin?! Maybe... Ah ha!" Mikey pulled out the perfect costume, he knew this would wow the ladies. The party up in the Penthouse was bouncing, the whole Lily-Mu cast, Kiyoko (much to her chagrin, she was forced to attended her rival company's party), and a few extras that helped with the other half of the TBC story. "OI, WE WERE INVITED HERE BECAUSE WE ARE GOOD FRIENDS, NOT STORY TELLING ACCESSORIES!" Shinpachi interjected at the author. The author knew they couldn't talk back, it was no use with this 4-eyed fool. All four members of the Yorozuya were there and clad in costumes. It was amazing how they managed to fit Sadaharu inside the penthouse, but it seemed to work in a way. "Oi, Pachi-boy, I only brought you guys here so I could drink the free punch and stare at Kiyo-" But before Gintoki could finish, he was hit in the head by Kagura. "Gin-chan, you can't keep saying those things in the company of others that aren't me and Shinpachi, uh-huh." Kagura said, shaking her head. Guano walked over to the Yorozuya and greeted them. "I'm glad you guys could make it...I guess. Not really sure what you guys did to make this Halloween episode, let alone all your other friends." Guano said, surveying the living room of the Penthouse. The Penthouse looked nicer than ever, the walls and ceiling finally patched up and the floor and furniture looking spick and span. "No, no. Thank you Guano-san. We are honored to be invited to your party! I still can't believe we got invitations." Shinpachi said, rubbing the back of his neck. He knew all the grief they have caused them in past, so it was quite the surprise. "Ozu specifically invited the silver haired samurai and the bald one. They're pretty good friends after all is said and done." Guano said, walking over to another group. "Ha! Nice costume you big doofus. Why did you dress up like that shit-head?!" Kamui's laughter could be heard through the entire party. The man was double fisting slurpees he bought on Yato. "Real premium slurpage from the home turf!" Kamui had previously been describing No Man, as he had dressed up like Umibozu for the party. "Hey, your old pops is a real hero of the Yato race! Gotta show some respect for the hero of my half race dog!" No Man said, tipping his aviator hat. "You do know Umibozu is here, right No Man?" Abuto said, pointing at Umibozu wearing a rocking 80's wig, talking with Ozu. "Yeah Ossan! I'm stuck in a small room with the two people I hate most in the world! It's SO fun!" Kamui was hammering one of his slurpees, shooting dagger eyes at his sister and father. "Chief, you do know we left Shinji downstairs." Abuto said, looking kind of concerned. "Why are we still hanging out with that dull dude? He brings us down, ha!" Kamui said with a roaring laugh. "He's our little bro-bro dog. Show some respect for the Shinj, Chief!" No Man said, crossing his arms. "HA! Coming from a microwienie like you?" No Man had to be held back by Abuto after the insult. Guano made his way over to greet the trio. "Woah, No Man, you aren't looking so hot. I hope you three are doing okay!" Guano said, going to the next group. "Did that Tanuki just talk at us? Ha!" Kamui took a big slurp. Guano was walking around with his clipboard, wearing his Masked Tanuki outfit, marking off names of the guests. He noted that Lily, Mitsuki, and Gonard all showed up. Gonard was hamming it up with his buddy Yamazaki. "Jimmy! I'm so glad you came...you did bring my sandwich right?" Gonard asked. "Of course Gonard!" Yamazaki pulled out a sandwich from behind his back. Gonard jumped with joy and clapped. Guano heard a knock at the door and headed towards it. "Hey Guano!" Mikey was at the door dawning his costume, "Great costume Mikey...Hey, is that a real sword?" Guano asked. "Uhhh...no." Mikey pushed pass the director and sat on the couch next to Lily. "Why are you dressed like that you American spaz?" Lily said, scooting away from him. "Thought it would be hip! Just look at all the samurais here!" Mikey pointed at Gintoki, who was attempting to spike the punch, Katsura showing off his long legs in a fish net for his nurse costume to Yes Man, and Takasugi talking with a bonsai tree. "Whatever dork, just leave me alone." Lily said. Yoshi was also on the couch, on the left side of Mikey. "Don't worry Mikey, she''ll come around to you eventually." "Who are you, weren't you dead?" Mikey asked standing up. He cleared his voice and began to speak up. "AHEM! Now that the main star is here, let's get this party...STAR-" But as Mikey was about to commence the fun, the lights were cut. People began to yell, shriek, and cut ins of Kamui's laughter. Suddenly, the lights came back on to reveal the scene, "Hey, how did he die again?" Mikey asked, just now realizing his sword was the one stuck inside the cameraman. "NYEH! I DIDN'T DO IT!" Mikey was freaking out. Everyone was talking, murmuring, and kind of glancing at the corpse. "I'm calling the Shinsengumi, we have a murdered here!" Yamazaki stood out of the crowd of people with a phone in his hand. "AS FOR THE REST OF YOU! STAY PUT!" Yamazaki was putting on a tough guy voice. He pulled Ozu, Yes Man, and Guano from out of the crowd. "Everyone, even though this random person whom we never met has died and ruined our party. NO ONE WILL LEAVE THIS PENTHOUSE UNTIL YOU ARE FOUND OUT!" Ozu said, flaming up. *Gasp* *Ha!* "Whatever Old Man." Gintoki said, picking his nose. TBC
  12. Ask the Great Aya anything

    tiring
  13. Ask the Great Aya anything

    recently it's been 6 am to 2 pm, days are random right now
  14. Ask the Great Aya anything

    I would think so, that's why Billy targeted him first
  15. Ask the Great Aya anything

    I think that if a God kills a God, he's just gone for good. Billy is in Hell but has the restraints on him, his wings clipped so to speak.
Doubloons: $4,458


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