Michael JCMson

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Michael JCMson last won the day on August 9 2016

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3,204 Fry Cook Legend

About Michael JCMson

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    God Forgives I Don't
  • Birthday 11/06/1995

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  • Interests
    Reading, writing, and the vidya game awards
  • Location
    In your worst nightmares
  • Favorite Episode
    The Soup Nazi
  • Favorite Character
    Gregory House

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  1. I actually enjoyed Alien despite all the slow moving scenes in it, because when things got going, they really got going. Aliens was more of a traditional sci-fi action movie and is actually one of my favorite movies period. If I went into Arrival with a better idea if what type of movie it would have been, I probably would have appreciated it more.
  2. PG

    29a. Kappa Squidma When Headmistress Wobbegong catches James-Sebastian Seahorse III and other members of Kappa Finma hazing a pledge, she threatens to shut their fraternity down unless they kick James-Sebastian out and replace him with a president of her choice. She ends up deciding on Squidward because she knows he'll hate running Kappa Finma as much as Kappa FInma will hate having him in charge, a combination she believes will prove most entertaining. She turns out to be right, as Squidward messes up at every turn as Kappa Finma's president. The members of Kappa Finma eventually show up at Wobbegong's office to beg her to let them make James-Sebastian president again, and while she doesn't allow that, she does allow them to replace Squidward with Ray, a compromise all of them, including Squidward, happily agree to. Notes: First appearance of James-Sebastian Seahorse III and Kappa Finma since "Welcome to the Fin Fraternity" in episode seven. 29b. Bare Necessities Squidward and Peterpus are learning about figure drawing in art class and are excited to draw an actual model for the first time instead of just each other. The model walks into the classroom wearing a robe, and after sitting down on a stool, she takes the robe off, revealing nothing underneath, to Peterpus' horror and Squidward's delight. Though Squidward eagerly begins the drawing, Peterpus is unable to look at the model for more than three seconds. He eventually goes to the professor telling him that he's uncomfortable drawing a nude model, and the professor, annoyed, tells Peterpus that if he doesn't do the assignment, the professor will fail him. Peterpus reluctantly starts the drawing, but he's still unable to look at the model for too long, so he has Squidward give him detailed descriptions as he draws based on those. First appearances: Nude model, Professor Gilliam Trivia: The model was originally going to be shown from the front several times, but due to complaints from the network, she was only shown from behind.
  3. If you wondered where I was this time last week, I was in the Music City itself, Nashville, Tennessee! I spent the weekend in Nashville to film my school's club ice hockey team in their conference tournament. I wasn't originally supposed to do it, but a position opened up, and the hockey players' parents were paying for everything, so I figured "why not".Our trip didn't get off to the best start. The bus I was riding in with the hockey team and fellow media members broke down in the middle of the trip, and our bus driver seemed to have no idea how to fix it for the longest time. After half an hour of us sitting in the bus bewildered and afraid, the driver told us in his very thick Italian accent that "it's time to Mickey Mouse" this. Nobody on the bus knew what that meant, but whatever it was, it worked, and we got a brand new meme out of it.The coach bought a bunch of DVDs to watch on the bus after lunch, and the team chose to watch Superbad. I had never watched Superbad before, so it was a pretty fun experience seeing it for the first time with a bunch of college guys. I could barely hear the movie above all the hooting and hollering, but I could still appreciate it for the penis jokes and the reminders that MySpace and cell phones that only called people were still popular in 2007.Shortly after Superbad ended, the bus reached the hotel, and I was put in a room with two other media members. We watched Futurama until it was time to leave for the hockey stadium. I had never filmed hockey before, so following that little puck around the skating rink with my camera was a nightmare. Whenever you watch hockey, don't forget the work that these camera people do, because it is without a doubt the worst sport to film.Thankfully, we won the game, so it wasn't a totally miserable experience, even if it meant I had to film another game the next day. After going back to the hotel, my roommates and I got together with some female media members, and we all got dinner together. Since I was the only person in the group who was 21 or older, I had to buy us liquor after we finished dinner, my first time visiting a liquor store and hopefully my last.I didn't actually drink any of the liquor because I was all business, but I still hung out with the girls and my roommates in the girls' room, where we watched Friends and everybody else got drunk. The girls kicked us out right before midnight, and my roommates passed out pretty much as soon as we got back to our room. I didn't really mind, as I didn't feel like staying up late that night, anyway.I woke up at 6 a.m. the next day and trashed central time in the shoutbox because I can't go a week without angrily posting something in the shoutbox. About an hour later, I went down to the lobby to eat breakfast, and the coach and bus driver were the only other people up that early. I learned that the coach was from Canada and came down here to play hockey, but he fell in love (with a woman, not America (well maybe America too (it was an American woman, after all (I'm using way too many parentheses here)))) and decided to stay.My roommates, their female friends, and I spent most of the day visiting the hot spots at Nashville. First of all, every stereotype you hear about Nashville is true. People wear cowboy hats and ride horses down the street, and all the bars play live country music 24/7. After eating at one of the bars, we went back to the hockey stadium and covered our team's next game, where we lost to Georgia because we lose to them in every sport.Our team was devastated after the loss, though I wasn't as sad about it because it meant we would be leaving at 2 the next day instead of 5, when the championship game probably would have ended. Going home from Nashville was going to take us eight hours, and I still had school on Monday, so the sooner we left Sunday, the better. I did feel bad for the hockey players, though, even though they were all from the North and reminded me of my own inadequacies.That night I did stay up late eating pizza and watching Central Intelligence with my roommates. Central Intelligence had Kevin Hart and The Rock, so it was amazing, of course, and took the bad taste of that night's loss right out of our mouths. That and the pizza. The bad taste returned the next morning, though, when our hockey team lost the third place game, which I filmed with less than five hours of sleep. We went straight to the bus after that and spent eight hours riding home, though we got there at 11 PM instead of 10 PM because of crazy timezone magic. Despite the time there being objectively wrong, I had a lot of fun in Nashville and would go there again. Plus, I watched three great comedy movies for the first time. (The other being Horrible Bosses on the ride home, which like Central Intelligence and Superbad was a 10/10). I also watched Grown Ups for the first time on the bus, which was definitely a movie, but not what I would call "great" or "comedy". Still, it was a decent way to kill time. Anyway, if you actually managed to sit through all of my rambling and bad attempts at humor, you deserve a prize, so I'll give you one. Behold: Your very own country guitar! *some rules and restrictions may apply
  4. Glad you like it. I'd be a huge fan of CEG if I were still alive.
  5. I just thought it was boring. I'm glad it addressed the rarely-answered question in sci-fi of how people and aliens talk to one another, but I wish so much of the movie didn't move so slowly. I guess I got spoiled by the Star Treks and Independence Days of the world, so when I got a sci-fi movie that wasn't those things, I couldn't help but come out disappointed. It's the same reason I didn't like 2001: A Space Odyssey. I just prefer faster-paced movies.
  6. I don't really watch YouTube. I'll give 99% of it to charity after I pass away.
  7. I still consider myself a SpongeBob fan, but I don't go out of my way to watch new episodes anymore.
  8. PG-13

    Fun fact: Cy goes over an hour into the video before skipping.
  9. PG-13

    Episode 28 New Jersey (1966) (The van passes a sign saying “You Are Now Entering North Bergen”. John Brennan, who is staring out the window, gasps when he sees it.) Brennan: Hey, I remember growing up here! (to CDCB) Think we can make a stop at my old place? CDCB: Just tell me which way to go. Edgar: Wait a minute! I know enough about time travel to know that meeting yourself in the past can lead to paradoxes! Brennan: Blah blah blah! It’s not like I’m going to talk to ten-year-old me! I’m just going to have a look around. Edgar: Fine, but after that, it’s straight to Cambridge. Brennan: I’m your superior! You don’t tell me what to do! Edgar: As long as we’re in 1966, we’re equals. CDCB: Don’t make me turn this van around! (chuckles) I’ve always wanted to say that. (After a few minutes of driving, the van stops by a house on a hill.) Brennan: It's much smaller than I remember it, though of course it is. (Brennan leaves the van and walks around the house. CDCB follows him.) Brennan: I haven’t been here in over 20 years, you know. After my father died, it hurt too much. What I’d give to hear his voice again. (Brennan hears muffling behind a wall. He puts his ear close to it and smiles.) Voice 1: Johnny, you know it’s past your bedtime. Why are you still up? Voice 2: Sorry, dad. I was just reading the latest Ranger Rick comic book. He goes on so many great adventures! When I grow up, I want to go on adventures. Voice 1: I’m sure you will, but right now you need to go to sleep. Voice 2: Okay, dad. Can I just finish these last few pages? Voice 1: (pauses) Sure. Voice 2: Thank you, thank you! I promise I won’t stay up past my bedtime any more after this! Voice 1: You better now. And I better not hear about you sleeping in class. Voice 2: You won’t! I promise! (Brennan’s face is covered in tears now.) CDCB: Are you alright, Mr. Brennan? Brennan: Yeah, I’m fine. I won’t keep you any longer. This is just something I felt I had to do. (CDCB nods, and they walk back to the van. After the van drives off, another van appears just moments later, and two men in black suits and sunglasses come out of it. They walk up to the house, and after knocking on the door, a woman opens it.) Woman: May I help you? Agent 1: Are you the owner of this residence? Woman: No, but I’m his wife. Agent 2: Can we ask you and your husband a couple of questions? (takes out a badge) We’re with the CIA. Woman: Oh, uh, Owen! Voice: Yes, Dorothy? Dorothy: Men from the CIA are here to talk to us! Voice: CIA? Well, alright, then! I’ll be there! Dorothy: Mind telling me what this is about? Agent 1: You’ll find out in good time. Virginia (2016) (David Cohen enters the lab to find JCM tapping mindlessly at a keyboard.) Cohan: Jeez, son. The others left an hour ago. Why are you still here? JCM: I just needed to… (yawns) Finish up another program. Cohen: Man, you’re really dedicated, aren’t you? JCM: I guess. Cohen: As you know, there’s an opening for head lab technician. How’d you like to fill it? JCM: Me? I’ve been here for a day! Cohen: And you seem to care more about this stuff than anyone else working here. If you want the job, it’s yours. JCM: I don’t know. Cohen: You’ll make a hundred times the salary. JCM: I’ll take it! Cohen: Good. Now go home and get some sleep. JCM: Yes, sir! (JCM saves the program then walks out of the lab with Cohen.) xat.com/sbcommunity (ding dong) jjs: yoCM JCM: yo JCM: has sbc fallen into disarray without me yet? jjs: No jjs: But ISB pricks are spamming Xat JCM: what? (ding dong) abney: The deal's off abney: I'm banning JCM's ass right now JCM: what the crap did i do? abney: Your ISB people spammed up our chatroom abney: If Aya wasn't there to ban them it would have gotten messy JCM: Aya can ban people now? abney: Yes abney: She's a chatmod JCM: SBM has chatmods now? Bubble Buddy: Shhh! Don't say the S word here! Omair: you really need to keep up with the times jcm JCM: coming from sbm's premier spammer Bubble Buddy: Shhh! Don't say the S word here! abney: Can someone turn that off? Omair: I haven't spammed in years Omair: Omair: dangit not again Omair: just roll your mouse over it JCM: OutOfDateCM? JCM: that's not even clever Omair: you're not even clever abney: Can we get back to the matter at hand? jjs: Yeah, ISB is getting to be a real problem jjs: They spammed us too jjs: And they're stealing some of our members JCM: that's just fewer people for you to moderate JCM: you shouldn't be complaining about that as the only admin jjs: If you didn't help make ISB in the first place I wouldn't be the only admin jjs: And SBC's doing fine without you btw JCM: whatever JCM: i'll talk to the ISB folks JCM: just don't ban me from SBM again Bubble Buddy: Shhh! Don't say the S word here! abney: grr MDPP: I'm working on it JCM: oh JCM: i almost forgot to tell you guys JCM: the cia just promoted me to head lab technician Omair: grats jjs: Weren't you just accepted to that internship this morning? JCM: yeah JCM: it happened pretty fast abney: You work for the CIA? abney: I read something about their director just disappearing abney: Along with the Fugitive Four JCM: is that what they're being called? Omair: you're really behind the times jcm JCM: well whatever they're being called not all of them disappeared JCM: hayden's still being held for questioning abney: What? abney: Do you know when he'll be released? JCM: not any time soon, probably abney: Interesting MDPP: Alright, you can now say "SBM" again Omair: sbm <3 JCM: Shhh! Don't say the S word here! MDPP: JCM... JCM: what? JCM: abney threatened to ban me JCM: i won't resist a chance to troll him jjs: he just left anyway JCM: i should probably do the same JCM: can't have the isb folks stirring up any more trouble cytu.be/r/sbm Torts: Jicem! Torts: the man Torts: the myth Torts: the legend Jicem: whose idea was it to spam sbc and sbm? BMC: it was mine BMC: i thought it'd be a fun way to get a rise out of them Jicem: well it worked Jicem: and now i'm getting crap from both sides Torts: just ignore them Torts: you can stick with us Torts: Jicem: i don't want to stick with you Jicem: or whatever that is Jicem: just leave the other spongebob forums alone BMC: make us bitch Jicem: i make a skin for y'all and you treat me like that? BMC: thanks for the skin but don't tell us what to do BMC: we'll promote isb however we see fit Jicem: well i can't say i didn't try fredphelps: Who just requested ten hours of interior crocodile alligator? Jicem: Jicem: have fun (7/7/16) Virginia (2016) (A man walks into Cohen's office.) Cohen: Hello. May I ask why you're here? Man: I'm here to provide the fugitive you're holding with legal representation. Cohen: (surprised) And your name? Man: Beck Abney.
  10. In honor of JanuGary, I've created a new skin based on everybody's favorite snail! Any questions, concerns, or comments about this skin can be posted in this topic. Enjoy!
  11. My dream job is to be a writer for Adult Swim, and it's still something I'm working towards.
  12. PG-13

    Episode 27 Virginia (1966) (John Brennan wakes up in an interrogation room. CDCB, CF, Trophy, and the lab technician are sitting with him.) Brennan: W-where am I? When am I? Lab technician: Just take it easy, John. Brennan: How am I supposed to "take it easy", Edgar? I feel like a stranger in my own building! CF: We're all as confused as you are. Brennan: Shut up, traitor! You’re the last person I want to be consoled by! CDCB: The only reason we betrayed you is because you were going to shut down Xat! Brennan: Why do you care about that “Xat” so much, anyway? CDCB: It has…sentimental value for us. Brennan: What? You know what, I don’t even give a shit. As soon as we get back, I’m throwing all of you in federal prison! Voice: I’m afraid that isn’t your decision to make. (Brennan turns around to find that the voice belongs to Richard Helms, who has just walked into the interrogation room.) Brennan: Director Helms! Helms: Glad to see you’re conscious again. Now tell me: how did you get into CIA headquarters with a weapon? Brennan: I know you won’t believe me, but I’m the director of the CIA in the future. Some freak accident sent us back in time! Helms: You’re right. I don’t believe you. (scratches chin) The only logical explanation is that there’s a mole. Until you tell me who the mole is, you and your friends will stay in here. For days, if need be. CF: But he’s telling the truth! (Helms walks out and locks the door behind him. Brennan slams his fist on the table he and the others are sitting around.) Brennan: Goddamn it! How are we supposed to get out of here? Trophy: I have an idea. Brennan: Like I’ll listen to a kid! Edgar: At least give him a shot. Trophy: Unless you have something better. Brennan: (grumbles) Fine. (A few hours later, Helms walks back into the room, and everybody’s missing.) Helms: What the? (CDCB jumps out of a nearby corner and hits Helms over the back of the head with a chair, knocking him out. He then feels through Helms’ pockets until he finds a set of keys.) CDCB: Alright, let’s go! (Everybody else comes out of hiding and follows CDCB out of the interrogation room.) Brennan: It concerns me how easy this was. (An officer spots them.) Officer: Hey! (The officer pulls out a gun, but CF does a cartwheel to knock him out.) CF: Thank you, training. (More officers start appearing, so Brennan, Edgar, CDCB, CF, and Trophy run towards the exit, trying desperately to avoid the officers’ shots. One of the shots hit Trophy in the leg just as he reaches the exit, causing CDCB to drag him out the door as he screams in pain.) Trophy: Those assholes shot me! CDCB: Don’t worry! I’ll get you cleaned up before we hightail it! (CDCB throws Trophy over his back as he and Edgar run to one of the vans outside the building. Meanwhile, CF and Brennan hold the exit door shut as bullets fly out of it.) Brennan: Hurry up before I lose a hand! (Once CDCB reaches the van, he starts trying Helms’ keys out one by one. He manages to unlock the van on the third try.) CDCB: Alright, it’s open! (CF and Brennan let go of the exit door and head towards the van as officers run out of the door and shoot at them. As soon as they’re safely in the van, CDCB drives away with them.) Brennan: I can’t believe I’m running from my own agency! CF: It won’t be your agency for another 50 years. (Trophy, who is in the backseat with them, stares at his wounded leg, which CDCB wrapped his jacket around.) Brennan: Where do we go now? CDCB: Far away from here. Edgar: Can I make a suggestion? CDCB: Sure. Edgar: There's someone I know who works for MIT. He might help us figure out how we got here and how we can get back. (Brennan mutters in disapproval.) CDCB: Do you have something to say, Director Brennan? Brennan: No, carry on. (CDCB speeds the van up as he turns onto the highway.) Virginia (2016) (JCM walks into CIA headquarters to find agents running around in panic.) JCM: Uh, is this a bad time? Agent: Director Brennan is missing! JCM: (surprised) What? Then who do I report to? Agent: David Cohen, for now. (The agent points to Cohen's office. JCM enters the office to find Cohen on the phone.) Cohen: Yes, I know, Mr. President. I'm aware that it's a shitshow, Mr. President. (Cohen hangs up the phone and sighs.) Cohen: Who are you? JCM: The new lab intern. Cohen: Well, the head lab technician disappeared with Mr. Brennan, so I'm not sure if you want to start now. JCM: Well, it sounds like you'll need another lab tech, doesn't it? Cohen: (chuckles) I like the way to think. The lab's down the hall, if you want to start getting to know the other techs. (JCM walks into the lab, where techs are busily tapping away at their computers.) JCM: Hey, guys. What's up? Tech 1: Well, well, well. If it isn't the new intern. Tech 2: Should we haze him? (JCM gulps.) Tech 1: (laughs) We're just messin' with ya! (JCM sits next to the tech and reads what's on his screen.) JCM: Are you trying to hack into a network? Tech 1: Yeah, but Edgar's better at this stuff than any of us. Tech 2: It sucks because this network is being used by some pretty nasty terrorists. Edgar was so close to getting into it, but then poof, he was gone. JCM: Let me try. (JCM spends several minutes typing code into the tech's computer. After executing the code, he waits several more minutes for a pop-up confirming the code's success.) JCM: There. We're in. Tech 1: What the hell? Tech 2: This kid's a prodigy! Tech 1: Mind if you help us out with something else? JCM: Sure. (Later that day, JCM heads to the restroom as Hayden walks out of it, escorted by officers.) JCM: Hayden? Hayden: JCM? JCM: Did those officers watch you pee? Hayden: Really? That's the first thing you choose to say to me? JCM: It's the first thing that came to mind. Officer: How about you move out of the way, son? JCM: You totally watched him pee, didn't you? Officer: (annoyed) Move out of the way before I shoot you. (JCM moves out of the way as the officers take him to his interrogation room.) JCM: (whispering) They totally watched him pee. (The officers push Hayden into the interrogation room, where Agent Grimes is waiting for him.) Grimes: Now that you've had your bathroom break, I'm going to ask you again: where are Brennan and the fugitives? Hayden: I don't know. Grimes: Wrong answer. (Grimes punches Hayden in the face.) Grimes: Whoo! I haven't gotten to do that for a long time! (Hayden wipes away the blood coming from his nose.) Hayden: You think I'm scared of you? Because I'm not. Grimes: I'm sure a few more blows will fix that. (Just as Grimes is about to land another punch, someone pulls his hand back. Grimes turns around to find out it's David Cohen.) Cohen: That's enough. Grimes: You said I could do this my way. Cohen: I changed my mind. Go outside. Get a breath of fresh air. (Grimes grumbles as he leaves the interrogation room. Cohen sighs and follows him out, leaving Hayden sitting in the room alone.) xat.com/sbcommunity (ding dong) Omair: cha <3 Cha: hey guys MDPP: Glad to see you back on Xat Cha: thanks Cha: srry for getting you demoted again MDPP: Nah, it's fine MDPP: Besides MDPP: We still have Bubby Buddy MDPP: WHAT TEAM Bubble Buddy: WILDCATS MDPP: WHAT TEAM Bubble Buddy: WILDCATS MDPP: WILDCATS Bubble Buddy: GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME MDPP: I'll never stop loving that Cha: Abney's still upset about ISB, though Cha: And more of our members are flocking to it jjs: Yeah, we're starting to lose members to it, too jjs: I don't see the point in it myself (ding dong) Bubble Buddy has made PoofieGook a member jjs: who you PoofieGook: a PoofieGook: asdf PoofieGook: asdfghjkl; jjs has banned PoofieGook forever jjs: wtf MDPP: Look what he just changed his name to MDPP: ISBRULEZ SOF: ew isb jjs: SOF knows what's going on
Doubloons: $1,095,565

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Spat (KK) A *free* limited edition sword for SpongeBob's 13th anniversary. Its aura seems to weaken everyday, suggesting it will eventually lose its ability to hurt others. (Note: It's as powerful as the Basic Sword; if you have a better sword, you can get this as a collectors item.)1
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