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JCM last won the day on July 20

JCM had the most liked content!

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3,803 Clam Whisperer

About JCM

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    Locust Abortion Technician
  • Birthday 11/06/1995

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  • Interests
    Reading, writing, and the vidya game awards
  • Location
    In your worst nightmares
  • Favorite Episode
    The Soup Nazi
  • Favorite Character
    Gregory House

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  1. JCM

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  2. JCM


    213a. Skod-away One day, SpongeBob and Mrs. Puff are driving around in a graveyard because why the fuck not SpongeBob continues to pay Mrs. Puff to teach him how to do something he's clearly not well-equipped to do so they might as well shake it up every now and then. Despite that, Mrs. Puff gets bored, anyway, so she decides to take them to the only remaining payphone on the planet to call a replacement instructor. That payphone turns out to be right outside the Bikini Bottom Jail, and right after Mrs. Puff goes into the booth, Skodwarde jumps over the wall that's around the prison and into SpongeBob's car. SpongeBob is surprised to find Skodwarde, who has spent the last several months imprisoned for theft, murder, and basically every sex crime imaginable, in his car, and Skodwarde is surprised to find SpongeBob waiting outside instead of his getaway driver, but with the prison alarms blaring, he gets impatient and tells SpongeBob to floor it. They drive away, and Mrs. Puff, who is just coming out of the phone booth, panics when she sees the tire tracks where SpongeBob once was. Skodwarde's getaway driver, Asshole Dan, pulls up in front of the prison a few moments later, and Mrs. Puff jumps into the car with him, telling him to follow SpongeBob and Skodwarde, which Dan happily does due to Skodwarde owing him money. Police cars start tailing SpongeBob and Skodwarde, so Skodwarde tells SpongeBob to drive even more like a madman than usual. SpongeBob does this, causing millions of dollars of propety damage and killing hundreds of civilians, but they do eventually lose the cops, to Skodwarde's relief. As Dan and Mrs. Puff survey the damage SpongeBob has done, Mrs. Puff feels that she's failed as a teacher, and Dan tries to cheer her up by telling her that if she was his teacher, he'd wanna bang her. They fuck in the backseat of the car after that, of course, and we return to SpongeBob and Skodwarde, who are now in front of a store in the middle of nowhere. SpongeBob and Skodwarde walk into the store, and Skodwarde immediately blurts out, "Any porn in the store?" There is no porn in the store, so Skodwarde buys one of the fitness magazines on display in the hopes that there will be some pages of half-naked fish in there for him to jerk off to later that night. After Dan and Mrs. Puff are done with their crash course in sex ed, they continue looking for SpongeBob and Skodwarde, and they manage to find the two before the hordes of policemen specifically trained to catch criminals because that's the power of love or some shit I don't know. Dan honks his horn, and Skodwarde thinks it's the po-po behind him, so he orders SpongeBob to speed up. SpongeBob does that, speeding right off a cliff that conveniently drops them right in front of the Bikini Bottom Jail again, just in time for the police cars that should have been all over the city looking for them to surround them, the police chief ecstatic that his strategy of doing nothing and waiting for the criminals to come to them while they ate donuts and masturbated finally worked. The police brought Skodwarde back into the prison and confiscated SpongeBob's car due to it being connected to a crime and due to the policemen being assholes. Speaking of assholes, let's check in with Asshole Dan and Mrs. Puff again. Oh, they're fucking in the backseat of their car again. Let's check in with Skodwarde. Well, what do you know? He was able to smuggle the magazine into his prison cell and he was able to find a half-naked fish in it! I'm sure he'll have fun with that. Let's check in with SpongeBob. He's walking 15 miles to his house because he doesn't have a car anymore. I'd feel sorry for him if I gave a shit. Episode over. Do something else with your lives.
  3. JCM

    SBC's 9th Year Anniversary

    Craziest thing about this is I've been here for seven of those nine years. My seventh year anniversary passed last week. Suffice it to say, a lot has changed since then.
  4. https://www.warnerbros.com/archive/spacejam/movie/jam.htm
  5. JCM

    Unpopular opinions you have

    Since hating ChefBob is apparently an unpopular opinion, I hated ChefBob.
  6. Since we can apparently browse archives of TVTome now, that.
  7. JCM

    234b. ChefBob

    This is the only episode I watched of the four, and I just didn't like it. It feels like a mixture of As Seen on TV and Squirrel Jokes, but not as funny as either one of them. The puppet concept was interesting, but that "fight" SpongeBob had with it just felt out-of-character, and it went on way longer than it needed to. That "comeback" by ChefBob at the end was stupid, and the live action added nothing to it. If this was the best episode of Season 11, I'm glad not to have seen the rest of the season (outside of the one episode that shant be named).
  8. JCM

    Q&A With Mr. J

    I remember getting 6000 posts, then getting 6000 posts again because the forum changed how posts are counted.
  9. [align=center]Episode 6: The Shade Figure, Part II[/align] [JCM: We're finally at the last episode, and to help me take it apart is our biggest riffing crew yet! God knows I'll need the help.] [Steel: This is Steel, reporting live from a temporary computer (actually a laptop), and I just wanted to say that I'm glad to see that I'm at the very final stretch of this wretched spin-off.] SpongeBob couldn't believe his eyes; his emotions were in an everlasting turmoil. [Wumbo: After reading this shit, I can relate.] All he could do was look at the shade figure, curious with his powerful mystique. "SpongeBob, your destiny is of far lengths. Your bankruptcy and your job with 'The Jig' was part of destiny to get you to this very spot. You're the chosen one, SpongeBob. [Steel: And that is still a load of crock. Hey Patrick, or shade figure, as I should apparently be calling you, aren't there a lot of other miserable fish out there in the sea that could use your help in becoming destined?] [Wumbo: "Me saying the same thing three times is also part of your destiny. Destiny destiny destiny. Beetlejuice!"] Your mission is to go and rid the plague of the demon that lurks within 'The Jig'." Patrick gave a smirk, and continued. "The man which you had... er... sex with... [Wumbo: Rape =/= sex, but you know, they say you gotta write what you know.] [Steel: I'm pretty sure that man would rather be referred to as the man who raped SpongeBob.] his name is unknown, [Steel: But aren't you a super-powered being? Couldn't you just B.S your way into figuring out the identity of the so-called man? That would save a lot of trouble.] but he's the demon that walks upon Bikini Bottom. He opens up to you, meaning you can stop him!" [Hayden: Only a homosexual can manipulate a gay male's feelings. ] [JCM: I don't think letting demons sodomize you is an effective way to stop them.] Now looking at his feet, SpongeBob was trying to process what Patrick was telling him. [Steel: But SpongeBob forgot what Patrick was rambling on about because he was thinking about his shoes.] All of the events from earlier, from his bankruptcy to this moment, has left him in despair. He was broke, forced into doing things he didn't want to do. [Wumbo: For example, he was forced into reading SpongeBob's Host.] What was he supposed to do? [Steel: NOTHING! Nothing besides not doing whatever some untrustworthy randos tell him to do and find a better job opportunity.] The cold ocean swayed to and from his pores, sending chills to his soul. [JCM: Seriously, man, see a doctor.] [Wumbo: I don't think this is how oceans, pores, or writing works.] The moon, now full, reflected off his face. [Steel: As the moon shone on his body, SpongeBob could see, with his own eyes, a suit of armor forming around him, making him a Moon- oh wait, wrong spin-off.] [Hayden: ] Feeling like he had no other choice, SpongeBob said, "I'll do whatever you say. What am I supposed to do?" Patrick smiled. "What else do you think? You've got to get into the mind of the man.  [Steel: I don't think SpongeBob would want to know what goes on inside of that man's mind.] But I must admonish: be care with him. [JCM: I didn't know he was into bee care.] [Wumbo: Looks like the writer should have been more care with proofreading.] If you're not careful, [Steel: But you said he should "be care with him," har-dee-har.] he will enter your body like a parasite. [Hayden: When did this become some weird sci-fi horror movie? I guess MDPP didn't consider the rape itself repulsive enough.] In order to help you prevent that form happening, [Wumbo: "I wonder why I can't become an English teacher! Must be the damned feminazis."] [Steel: "...In order to help you prevent that form happening." ...So that man has a one-winged angel it seems.] I'm going to help you become irresistibly attractive. I doubt he'll hurt a catch." [Wumbo: Jesus Fucking Christ] [Steel: Or, you know...you could have SpongeBob just kill him...unless that man is actually a legitimate demon who can't be killed through normal means. I wouldn't know because this spin-off doesn't completely acknowledge that.] With his mighty power, Patrick held both of his arms straight out of his sides, [Steel: And then he blew up. So, then poor SpongeBob continued to live his sad, miserable life without fulfilling his destiny as the 'Chosen One.'] and muttered a spell. "Subinimmoh tse muroced SpongeBob!" [JCM: Gesundheit.] [Steel: Hogwarts shuns you for your poor attempt of writing a magic spell.] Blue flames came out of his hands, which startled SpongeBob. [Steel: He's just surprised that someone can make fire in underwater.] Then, with a swoosh, Patrick threw the flames at him. [Steel: Well, that took an unusual turn.] SpongeBob immediately started transforming. His eyes went from normal to large, his nose blew up like a balloon, his eyelashes shot out of his eyes, his cheeks naturally started blushing, his voice got higher, and his hands became smaller. [JCM: So he became Donald Trump?] For SpongeBob, it was like going through puberty all over again, but this time was backwards. [Steel: ... ...End this. End this now.] [Wumbo: They say that the top signs of puberty are shrinking noses, pale cheeks, and eyelashes being shot into your eyes.] [Hayden: Ah yes, the fascination with puberty. Steven probably wants to go through it again and hope he gets it right this time.] The ocean felt different to SpongeBob. Everything to him was in a new light: the ocean, instead of sorrow in feeling, felt pink -- unmistakably pink. [Wumbo: This is a metaphor, or something.] Everything felt like a color. [Steel: In other words, SpongeBob is on drugs.] Patrick felt like blue, the moon felt black, Gary felt purple, and SpongeBob himself felt white. [Steel: White guilt.] [Wumbo: SpongeBob felt an irresistible urge to eat Lunchables.] [Hayden: When does the craving for Lunchables begin?] SpongeBob felt a bitter taste in his mouth: the taste of sugar. [Wumbo: how the fuck do you not know what sugar tastes like how dumb are you] "Now for the finishing touches. Satidnuciu cih oge!" Patrick muttered again, [JCM: get yoself some tissues] [Steel: I could probably decode whatever magic spells Patrick is uttering through Google Translate...but I don't think I'd feel comfortable doing that.] with his hands turning orange this time. He threw the orange flames towards SpongeBob, then clapped his hands. "All done!" He exclaimed. "I feel really gay now," Spongebob said. [Hayden: ] [Wumbo: So this is... reverse conversion therapy?] [Steel: I don't think turning SpongeBob into jailbait is the way to make him feel or look 'gay.'] "You're supposed to. You know SpongeBob, it's time that you accepted your sexuality. Might as well be gay." Patrick gave a smirk. "I should know." [Steel: Yes, because you can "definitely" determine someone else's sexuality by deciding what it is.] [JCM: I decided that I'm sexually attracted to fruit a long time ago.] [Hayden: I'm still trying to get past the confusion of why everything is suddenly a color, not all of those colors are part of the LGBT flag so what the hell is the intention?] SpongeBob's eyes widened. "Do you mean?" "I'm sorry -- I misled you. I'm not gay, I'm actually asexual. I can't feel love. [Wumbo: that's not what asexual means you fucking clod] [Steel: 'Asexual' means having no romantic interests, moron.] [JCM: The definition of asexuality is contrary to the one that you've put forth, you sodden-witted lord!] You see, I'm a shade figure, which means I don't really exist. I'm nothing more than a shadow." [Steel: If Patrick "doesn't exist," then he should just be a figment of SpongeBob's imagination. Is this story actually trying to convince me that SpongeBob is actually on drugs?] [Hayden: "I can't feel love". "I don't really exist". ] SpongeBob looked down at his shoes once more, which felt purple. [Wumbo: THIS IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR ACTUAL DESCRIPTION STOP WRITING LIKE THIS HOLY FUCKING SHIT] [SpongeBob's shoes: I love being purple!] "Cheer up, SpongeBob. It's not like it's the end of the world." Patrick grunted. "You know, it's better to love than to never feel it at all." [Hayden: What is he trying to justify here? That if you're homosexual you can at least still say you aren't an asexual freak? One group needs to be kicked down still? Fuck off.] SpongeBob looked up at Patrick with gleams in his eyes. For the first time that day, he actually smiled. [Wumbo: One more time than I smiled riffing this. Lucky.] [Steel: And it's the only time that we get to see him smile in this spin-off.] "Now, I want you to go to sleep. I will come back whenever I can, but for now, I want you to keep going back to 'The Jig'. I want you to go and see what you can find about the man. Once you do, I'll tell you what to do from there." Another lightning bolt struck the ground, and SpongeBob was out cold. [Hayden: Oh, now lightning causes fainting too. So many non-fatal side effects.] [Wumbo: Again, if only I could get so lucky. Flush this and any memory of its author down the toilet where it belongs.] [Steel: And he never got to come back to 'The Jig' to settle the score because he died after getting struck by lightning, the end. Yeesh, that's a pretty grim way to leave a spin-off dead, huh? Even if the discontinuation of the spin-off prevented it from getting any worse, that doesn't stop it from being the worst thing I've ever read on this website. There, I said it. This was an absolutely frustrating read from beginning to end. What's amusing about this spin-off is that even way back when, I never liked it. Most of us feel dumb now for giving it positive reception during those times, but if I had the gall to, I would've given this spin-off a lukewarm review, and maybe then MDPP would've tried to improve it. Maybe then, I would've warmed up to it as well, but here I am now, declaring it as the worst piece of written literature on SBC that I've ever read so far, and no matter what else that's bad in the Spin-Offs/Lits archive I come across, I don't think they can top this. I thought it would be impossible to put on a lock on any particular work, that would even include one of my own for the title of 'the worst,' but I finally discovered the best possible contender. The writing has a laundry list of problems, and I don't think i can get through ALL of them. To sum up the writing, it's basically the quality of Bikini Top and Down Under combined, but with barely any salvageable moments and with slightly more, occasional grammar mistakes. While those two spin-offs tried so hard to be deep. meaningful, and such, SpongeBob's Host tries way too hard to sell its drama, making a good chunk of its moments edgy for just about all the wrong reasons. Some of the story's plot elements don't normally suffer from being harsher in hindsight after MDPP's real life scandal, some of the particular scenes are just flat out morbid. The scenes with SpongeBob being forced to work at a strip club, him having sex with a 15 year old whale, and him getting straight-up raped by an unknown man, two of which were there to try and create a dramatic effect, were red flag warnings of the spin-off getting too obscene for its own good. The apparent final segment with Patrick turning SpongeBob into jailbait was the final nail in its coffin. Second of all, it's very, very melodramatic. The first four episodes are basically the story tossing in some of the most depressing and dramatic scenarios imaginable, in a way that they can be summed up like this: Oh no! SpongeBob is broke and homeless! Oh no! SpongeBob got laid off from his job! Oh no! SpongeBob has to work at a strip club! Oh no! SpongeBob could suffer a horrible fate if he gets a girl pregnant! Oh no! SpongeBob got raped by a complete stranger! That's just scratching the surface. Third, the characterization hardly makes its cast feel authentically human. In this story, SpongeBob is nearly nothing more than a miserable sadsack. Patrick, for unknown reasons, is a 'shade figure' with little to no emotion to give. Pearl obliges to prostitution with no background beyond that. I know this story barely got its start, but during its run, little time was spent on developing these characters still. Oh, and I should also mention that there is one particular problem that I have with SpongeBob's characterization, which is his lack of common sense. If he feels forced to be in those situations he faced, he shouldn't have stayed in them. The pain that SpongeBob suffers through in 'The Jig' all could've been prevented if he ultimately decides that he shouldn't be in a place that makes him completely uncomfortable, even if it's a place where he could land a job. Fourth, the romantic scenes are not, I repeat, not sexy, nor did the author have a good grasp on how one's sexuality is determined at the time of this writing. SpongeBob, after having unwanted sex with an unknown man, that ends in pleasure, is automatically billed as gay, even though he has had sexual pleasure with Pearl and that somehow doesn't question if he's actually bisexual. Fifth, we're supposed to buy this as some sort of prequel to "Help Wanted," which is the pilot episode of the series, while also being absolutely distant from the spin-off's tone and atmosphere. Throughout the entire spin-off, it goes absolutely nowhere with its concept, as it focused mainly on giving the story depth and some unnecessary TV-MA rated edge. That particular problem with the spin-off above brings me to the last and certainly most discerning detail I got from it: it doesn't follow any specific direction towards its concept. As I've said before, this spin-off likes to throw in sorts of needless drama into its plot, but when it gets to the fifth episode does it experience a shift in style by introducing Patrick as a supernatural being who claims SpongeBob to be the chosen one who is destined to rid the world of evil. That's the point where I feel like MDPP was trying so hard to make this spin-off as dark, deep, and meaningful as possible. MDPP was merely 18 at the time that he wrote this spin-off and while I don't know if he rediscovered it and feels personally ashamed of it, I don't think it's safe to say that he's a talentless hack at that very point (but I have a feeling that some of you would be willing to do that honor of calling him as such). One thing's for sure, he still wrote the worst thing I've ever read from this website's archive of stories. If you still think Eddsworld Meets SpongeBob is still the worst, I have just one question to ask: which surprises you more?: a poorly written spin-off from someone with little prior experience in writing or a poorly written spin-off from someone who was 18 at the time and just so happened to be a major in English literature? Heck, I even found some new respect for my biggest shame, Dark Side of the Herd, as it didn't have any very off-putting moments like SpongeBob's Host did. If anything positive can be said about this spin-off, this is a solid enough example of a story that can pretty much educate every other fellow writer on SBC on how not to write one. To finally close out my thoughts on this god forsaken spin-off, I am inclined to drop just two more f-bombs because that's what it deserves: Fuck this spin-off, and once again, fuck you MDPP. This is the sponge of steel signing out.] [JCM: I was gonna go on a rant, but Steel seems to have covered that for me, so all I'm gonna say is my joy at this spin-off ending is stronger than my annoyance at it ending on a cliffhanger. 15 year old me, who was impressed by any writing that had big words, liked it a lot, but it's much easier for me to see its flaws now that I've taken a couple of college English classes and seen plenty of examples of good and bad writing with sesquipedalian prose. I can now say with the full authority of an English minor and sightly-more prolific reader than I was seven years ago that this is a poorly written spin-off. SpongeBob may not have expelled his demons, but I'm happy to say that I've expelled mine, and I'll be even happier if I never have to think about this spin-off again. Thank you to everyone who suffered through it with me, and sorry if you wanted to riff and didn't get to, but this may get revived in the future with something juicier (though probably not as bad, since even I have my limits). Until then, goodbye!]
  10. [align=center]Episode 5: The Shade Figure, Part I[/align] [Steel: The episode where SpongeBob takes up figure drawing, perhaps?] The giant figure slowly approached SpongeBob around a slightly-lit corner, which scared him tremendously. SpongeBob, now hiding inside a cardboard box he had found near a dumpster in the dark alley, shivered with shakes down to the very core of his soul. [JCM: You should probably see a doctor about that.] [Steel: Now he already knows how Squidward would've felt.] The blizzard winds blew violently through his pores reminding him of the events that had happened that day. [Steel: Does the weather get this harsh whenever SpongeBob feels so down?] "S-s-stay away from me!" SpongeBob screamed with all of his might. [Hayden: ] [JCM: I doubt the telling the random blizzard that wasn't mentioned once before this episode and clearly only exists as a plot device to go away will do much.] And with a swoosh of the wind, the dark figure came out of the shadows and into the light, taking SpongeBob by surprise. [Steel: Oh so this is "The Shade Figure" that this story is trying to tell me about. ...The mysterious man/woman. The shadowy figure. He/She who lurks in the shadows. The unknown. The Shade Figure. Cool name, cool name.] It was merely a household pet: a snail! This snail had came to the dark alley to get to its home, which SpongeBob had taken. The snail was very shy, but it wanted to meet SpongeBob. [Steel: I don't remember this being how SpongeBob and Gary met.] [JCM: Stealing an animal's habitat will make you more likely to get bitten than make that animal want to be friends with you.] [Hayden: That's right, we're throwing the origin story of how Spongebob and Gary met into a show about Spongebob's dark sexual past. No tonal clash here. Also you can't call it a giant figure and then pull that.] "Meoooow!" The snail said. SpongeBob couldn't help but smile. This had been the first ray of sunshine he had the entire day. "You're so cute!" The snail felt brave [Hayden: You'd have to be brave to approach what is basically MDPP in a Spongebob mask.] and went to him, and he started to purr with delight. [Steel: I'd never thought I'd say this, but...Congrats, you have just given us the very first pleasant moment from this entire story.] SpongeBob couldn't help himself but felt joy within himself. "Maybe this world isn't so bad," SpongeBob muttered to himself. "Do you need some food?" [Steel: And then the snail got shot. What I've learned from the first four chapters is that this story just loves to throw in some depressing or disturbing scenes for a dramatic effect, but I shouldn't jump to conclusions...] [JCM: The snail gets shot then raped then shot again for maximum edginess.] [Hayden: "Spongebob couldn't help himself" Just don't have sex with the snail please. I don't want to know what people in Kentucky do with animals.] The snail gave him a glare and its stomach gurgled loudly. "Meoooow." The snail was starving. SpongeBob, looking at his half-eaten can of soup, decided to give it some of the can. "I know it's not much, but it's all that I have. We'll just eat like this together." SpongeBob sighed, glared at the sky, and felt some relief. [JCM: And just like that, it stopped snowing...] "God, if you're watching me now, please help," SpongeBob whispered into the sky. "I've become indigent [Hayden: ] , a poor person hiding in the deep shadows of Bikini Bottom. And I've lost everything, including my own identity! [Hayden: Just look in that dumpster for your name tag.] Please, help-" SpongeBob began to cry as he said his prayer, and the sky started raining onto Bikini Bottom. [Steel: f] A roar of the sky accompanied with a bright flash began to illuminate the sky, and then a flicker frightened the freaky ghouls of the alleys. [Pretentiousness Translator 5000: Thunder Go Boom Boom.] [JCM: I wish my alleys had freaky ghouls.] Out of no where, [JCM: No where, yes where, Wario Ware.] a lightning bolt struck in front of SpongeBob and the snail. [Steel: Yep, I know this story too well. What were the odds?] The sparks from the lightning bolt sparked up a dense fog, enough to make both of them cough with disgust. [Hayden: I hate when a bolt of lightning gets my allergies worked up.] Out of the fog came a hooded figure, a figure as scary as death himself. [Grim Reaper: What did I do?] [Steel: So...is that the so-called Shade Man?] SpongeBob started trembling at the sight: it was death! [Steel: Once again, what were the freaking odds of that?] The figure had a large black cloak that scuffed on the pavement, its face remained too dark to establish, a head that ended in a point at the top, a white foggy glow, and a grim presence. [JCM: But does he play unfitting music?] With a deep voice, the shade figure [Steel: Knew it, but come on, you can't just not call him a "shadowy figure."] announced, "SpongeBob SquarePants, I come from the deep depths of Hell to make a deal with you. An eye for an eye, an arm for an arm. A deal." [Steel: Welp, we've now stumbled upon the plot point where SpongeBob has to make a deal...with Death himself.... ...Can this please end, now?] [Hayden: How many appendages do you need to permanently kill MDPP's writing dreams?] "What?" SpongeBob asked confusingly. [Grim Reaper: SpongeBob SquarePants, I come from the deep depths of Hell to make a deal with you! An eye for an eye, an arm for an arm! A deal!] The shade figure just smiled and said, "The darkness is upon us." [Steel: Is this guy the devil or is he from Organization XIII?] "I'm so confused," SpongeBob says. "I lost my job, I was forced to be taken to 'The Jig' only to be forced into sex with a young teenager, [Hayden: This...this is deliberate. This foreshadowing can't be a natural coincidence. This is what MDPP wanted for himself and his fiction tells us that. A therapist should've caught up to him 5 years ago.] and then get raped by some giant... and now this! What the heck is going on?" [Steel: I ask myself the same question about what's going on this story every single time I think about it.] SpongeBob began to shake, quivered, then managed to mutter, "Who a-are you?" The shade figured laughed and took off his hood to reveal himself as a pink starfish. "I am Patrick the Shade Figure, Destroyer of Darkness. [JCM: um wat] [Steel: Original Character. Do not steal.] A prophecy foretells that a yellow homosexual sponge will save the world. [Hayden: You found the wrong guy then.] That would be you, SpongeBob." [JCM: um wat] [Steel: Ah, bull, BULL! This spin-off had to throw in a thinly veiled outline for its Chosen One cliche?! Move along out of here, fellas.] [MDPPBob: ] A bright lightening bolt flashed again behind Patrick, and SpongeBob was just stunned by what he was seeing. [align=right]To be continued...[/align] [JCM: um wat] [Steel: I'd rather not continue, but I must. Only one chapter left...let's see if it goes down or if it's even more a slight improvement to the first four chapters...]
  11. JCM

    SBC Fantasy Football League

    The biggest time investment will be the draft itself, which will likely be August 31 or September 1, depending on which day we have the most people. After that, it's only 15-20 minutes a week (at least how I play it) to check scores and make any necessary roster changes. There are people who spend hours a week on this stuff, but I don't personally think that's necessary.
  12. Clappy tried to make this happen a couple of times before but never got it off the ground. I think this would be an interesting replacement for the bracket challenge, so I'm officially recruiting members for a fantasy football league. If you don't know a thing about fantasy football, that's alright! I didn't know about fantasy football when I played in my first league last year, didn't show up for the draft, and ended up winning it all! I'll help anyone who wants to participate learn the basic rules, and there will be incentives, of course. Whoever reaches the fantasy playoffs will win 5,000 doubloons Whoever reaches the championship game will win 10,000 doubloons Whoever wins it all will win 20,000 doubloons And I'll give you 1,000 doubloons just for signing up! I'd like 10 people for this league, but I can do a little less if there's not a ton of interest. I'll likely be doing the draft the last week of August, so you have some time, but obviously, I'd like to get this league together as soon as possible.
  13. JCM

    SBC's Top 50 Best Episodes Ever 2018!

    CWN packed in an absurd amount of jokes into 11 minutes, and while it wasn't as strong overall as KKTV, it's still a solid number one in a solid list overall. Thanks for your great work compiling and revealing the results of this list, Wumbo. You're easily the best Top 50 host we've ever had.
Doubloons: $1,146,241

Independence Sword 2012 (KK) A *free* limited edition sword for Independence Day 2012. Its aura seems to weaken everyday, suggesting it will eventually lose its ability to hurt others. (Note: It's as powerful as the Basic Sword; if you have a better sword, you can get this as a collectors item.)1
Spat (KK) A *free* limited edition sword for SpongeBob's 13th anniversary. Its aura seems to weaken everyday, suggesting it will eventually lose its ability to hurt others. (Note: It's as powerful as the Basic Sword; if you have a better sword, you can get this as a collectors item.)1
Santa Suit 1
Santa Hat (2012) 1
King Neptune for a Day Everyone on the site must respect you and refer to you as "Your Majesty/Your Highness" and you pretty much get to do whatever you want for an entire day (of course, anything that's found unreasonable will either be deleted or you will have this revoked, whichever the admins see fit).2
Blue 1
IPB 1.3 Skin Get exclusive access to our IPB 1.3 skin!1
Aqua 1
St. Patrick's Day Hat 1
Leprechaun Suit 1
Pot of Gold 1
SpongeBob Easter 2015 An exclusive icon given to people who finished the Easter Egg Hunt 2015!1
SpongeBob Basketball Outfit An exclusive icon given to the Band Geeks, who won March Madness 2015.1
Squidly An exclusive item given to whoever purchased it from the Prize Store at Spin-Off Festivals 5 & 6.1
Clown Wig 1
Cotton Candy 1
Sky 1
Pink 1
Lime 1
Ocean 1
Orange 1
Purple 1
Yellow 1
Clown Costume 1
SpongeCraft Hoodie 1
SBC Music Hat An exclusive hat for your iFish character to celebrate SBC Music 2.0's release!1
Teal Pants 1
Yellow Bass Guitar 1
Blue Sunglasses 1
Cookie Eating Hat 1
Goofy Sombrero 1
Smoothie 1
Hawaiian Shirt 1
V11 Polo Shirt An exclusive item for your iFish to celebrate the launch of V11!1
Bumblebee Costume 1
Groucho Glasses 1
Clown Shoes 1
Underwear 1
Sponge Popsicle 1
Christmas Eyes 1
Carol Book 1
Santa Hat An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2015.1
Santa Beard An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2015.1
Santa Sweater An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2015.1
Santa Pants An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2015.1
Santa Boots An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2015.1
SpongeBob Christmas 2015 An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2015.1
Squidward Christmas 2015 An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2015.1
Chocolate Clarinet An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2015.1
Chocolate Starfish An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2015.1
Chocolate Fruitcake An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2015.1
Golden Spatula 1
Chocolate Donkey An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2015.1
Snowman Costume (2012) 1
Wheel of Fortune T-Shirt 1
Pirate Outfit 1
Black Pirate Pants 1
Wooden Sword 1
Red Bandana 1
Green Sunglasses 1
Orange Double Neck Guitar 1
SpongeBob Easter Portrait 2016 An exclusive icon given to people who finished the Easter Egg Hunt 2016!1
Chum Bucket Bucket Helmet An item exclusively given during April Fools 2016!1
Magic Hat 1
Lollipop 1
Skodwarde Badge An exclusive item given to whoever purchases it from the Prize Store at Spin-Off Festivals 6 or 7. This item is proof the user bought it.1
Red Electric Guitar 1
Ice Cream Cone 1
Paddleball 1
Popcorn 1
Skodwarde Hoodie 1
Yellow Sunglasses 1
Ring Master Hat 1
Ring Master Outfit 1
Glove World Employee An exclusive item given to whoever purchased it from the Prize Store at Spin-Off Festivals 6 & 7.1
Clown An exclusive item given to whoever purchased it from the Prize Store at Spin-Off Festivals 5 & 6.1
Glove King Badge An exclusive item given to whoever purchases it from the Prize Store at Spin-Off Festival 5 or 6. This item is proof the user bought it.1
Trump Hat Make America Great Again!1
Bronze Medal 1
Silver Medal 1
Band Geek Track Jersey 1
Band Geek Track Pants 1
Soccer Cleats 1
Tennis Racket 1
Band Geek Foam Finger 1
Golf Hat 1
Basketball 1
Gold Medal 1
Name Change Change your name.
Note: this can only be used once every two weeks!
Squidly Hat 1
Squidly Outfit 1
Squidly Shoes 1
Patrick Knight Helmet 1
Patrick Knight Tunic 1
Patrick Star 1
SpongeBob Frankenstein An exclusive item given to whoever completed the Candy Hunt at Octerror Fest 2016.1
Hot Chocolate Cup 3
Silver Bell An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2016.1
Gingerbread Man Costume 1
Reindeer Hat An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2016.1
SpongeBob & Patrick Christmas 2016 An exclusive item given to whoever completed the Present Hunt at Snowcember Ball 2016.1
Holiday Gary An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2016.1
Holiday Patrick An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2016.1
Chocolate Krabby Patty An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2016.1
Chocolate Dollar An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2016.1
Chocolate Spatula An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2016.1
Chocolate Jellyfish An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2016.1
Headphones 1
Keytar 1
ALS Jacket An exclusive item given to those who have donated to the ALS Association.1
Bubble Dress An exclusive item given to those who have donated to the ALS Association.1
Fairy Dress An exclusive item given to those who have donated to the ALS Association.1
Sailor Hat An exclusive item given to those who have donated to the ALS Association.1
Lifeguard An exclusive item given to those who have donated to the ALS Association.1
Lifesaver An exclusive item given to those who have donated to the ALS Association.1
Magic Shell An exclusive item given to those who have donated to the ALS Association.1
Seaberry Pie An exclusive (and delicious) item given to whoever won the Pi Day: Number Trivia at March Madness 2017.1
SpongeBob Basketball Player Given to whoever completed the Basketball Hunt at March Madness 2017.1
Become a Loyal Customer Get access to our exclusive Loyal Customer group!1
Xat Time Travelers Badge 1
Jester Hat 1
Red Balloon 1
Xat Time Travelers Shirt 1
Carnival Barker Outfit 1
Carnival Barker Hat 1
Carnival Cane 1
Gold Viking Helmet 1
Monkey Plush 1
Candy Apple 1
Rollerskates 1
Unicycle 1
Glovey 1
Turtle Plush 1
Miss Appear Shirt 1
Man Ray Head 1
Man Ray Costume 1
Dirty Bubble 1
Dirty Bubble Collectable An exclusive collectable of the naughty bubble himself. Only given to the Villains for winning July of Justice.1
Jellyfish Hat 1
Jellyfish Net 1
SpongeBob's Jellyfishing Glasses 1
Jeffrey the Jellyfish Costume 1
Kevin Given to whoever won it from Jellyfish Bounce at Jellyfish Festival.1
Tree Costume 1
Winter Boots 1
Elf Costume 1
Jingle Bell Hat 1
Holiday Scarf 1
Elf Ears 1
Elf Hat 1
Santa Claus An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2017.1
Chocolate Flower 1
Chocolate Karate Glove 1
Chocolate Snail 1
Cheese Tie 1
Box Head 1
Box Outfit 1
Box Shoes 1
3D Glasses 1
Jellien Given to whoever won it from Asteroid Blast.1
Band Geek Vuvuzela 1
No 1 Squid Does not suck eggs!1
Community Deathmatch Badge 1
Secret Agent Snail Badge 1
Squid Shirt 1
Clown Costume 2018 1
Clown Wig 2018 1
This One's On The House A shirt for Skodwarde fans.1
Mystic Guardians Shirt 1
Cotton Candy 2018 1
Mime Costume 1
Bunch of Balloons 1
Mime Beret 1
Red Racer 1
It's Just Posts! A shirt for Community Deathmatch fans.1
Red Propeller Cap 1
Horsey 1
Balloon Flower Hat 1
Jolly Good Rookie Donut For he is a jolly good Rookie!1
Steel Hoodie 1
Community Deathmatch Shirt 1
Jelly Donut 1
Little Clown 1
Pride Flag To show off your pride!1
Free Toy Free toys for everyone!1
Squidward Soccer Given to whoever completed the Soccer Ball Hunt at Sponge Cup.1
Elvis Hair 1
Gogeta Hair This hair is a limited edition hair, only won by giveaways, commemorating the leaving of ssj4gogita4.1
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