The following you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is not entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein... Anyway, it's for your benefit! Intervention We open up to FeelMyFeel333 standing in the middle of the Deathmatch Arena with an assortment of buckets sitting upside down behind him. FeelMyFeel: You know, at one point, I tried. I tried so very hard to empathize with all FeelMyFeel: of your weaknesses. And what did all my empathy ever got me? All it ever served for, was to be an enabler for each and every one of you. FeelMyFeel: All I ever did was satisfy your insatiable hunger for attention, which is the furthest fucking thing from what you all really need! And no, it's not a shoulder to cry on or an ear to have listen to your pathetic sob stories you call "lives". It's none of that. I am going to take your hunger, and starve you dry. What you all need, is an intervention. And it's not just any intervention. It will be a Straight Edgy Intervention! FeelMyFeel: Now, the first step to recovery for people such as yourselves is a confession. You need to stop lying to yourself and be honest to yourself at least once in your life by admitting that "I have a problem". Guests: You have a problem! You have a problem! FeelMyFeel: I do have a problem, I am man enough to admit that. And my problem is with all of you, but no sweat, I'm looking to solve that problem right now! So what I need is for all of you wasting away here to stand up, and even those of you reading this at home, stand up from your chair for the first time in what may feel like weeks, hold your hand out above you and feel my feel! FeelMyFeel: You can even place your hand on your computer monitor if that helps, given the fact that your entire lives up until now revolved around it as if it were the center of your entire solar systems! You do that. But I do need everyone in this arena right now, and for everybody all around the World Wide Web, to stand up right now and admit that YOU ARE ALL ADDICTS. The guests all :patboo:'s in unison. FeelMyFeel: Now that, that sounds like denial. You are all addicts! FeelMyFeel: Usually addicts are oblivious to the fact they have an addiction or that they have a problem. YOU PEOPLE HAVE PROBLEMS. You are in denial of the fact that you are weak! You are in denial of the fact that you are powerless! All of you are in denial of the fact that you are NOTHING without the internets that corrupt your mind and withers away at your real lives! But don't worry, because I'm about to teach you all how to survive. FeelMyFeel: You all recognize it, it's the "How Are You Feeling? (Emotionally)" thread! But how many of you recognize the dangers of letting your emotions run wild on the Internet? Obviously, not a lot of you, I mean, let's take a look at some of these hideous displays. FeelMyFeel: "Annoyed". "Depressed". These are the kinds of posts that annoys me so much that it depresses the shit out of me, that said shit being the shit that I can give about what you're feeling (emotionally)! FeelMyFeel: "Hopeful for the first time in a long time". What a sad life you must live... Well, you know that right there is a goddamn lie right off the bat. Hopeful about what, exactly? That you are actually feeling something other than self pity until the next time you decide to stub your toe, then you're back into the sad cycle of sadness? FeelMeFeel: Just reading that made me so very ill, so don't expect me to mother goose it for you this time. Posts such as this can shake me up pretty badly from the dread that there are many more just like it both before and, inevitably, to come afterward. I could go on screaming for a full minute about how fucking disgusting public displays of emotion like these are, but unlike you, I have self control! Why do people like you have to be in my online life. Even with unhinged emotional states like that, you people still go online to get your daily intake of poison! You might as well be throwing your brains into the trash. But tonight...tonight, we throw this, and all posts associated with it, FeelMyFeel: in the trash. And pay close attention, because this is how you survive! FeelMyFeel proceeds to stomp out the one post that didn't make it into the trash. FeelMyFeel removes another bucket from the lineup. FeelMyFeel: What we have here, is your typical ask me section. And you people hide behind topics such as this and you use it to make up for your social life, which even by ever so low Internet standards, is very, very sad. You should be ashamed of yourselves. This. Is. Not. Being. Social! What this is, FeelMyFeel: is Failure Made Into a Topic. You make one of these threads, you so much as ask any of these weak fools a question, you are succumbing to your own addictions! You are giving up! You are FAILING at life! Now, the problem with these became so rampant that they had to actually move them into their own little section of the community. That's all this "community" is good for, isn't it? You all just take your problems and try to push them somewhere else instead of facing them head-on. What you all need to do, is look inside yourself and find the straight edgy in you! Well lucky for you, I'm about to push this problem into the one place it truly belongs. FeelMyFeel: Pay attention! FeelMyFeel removes the last bucket from the lineup. The guests in attendance pop hard at the sight of it. FeelMyFeel: Judging by your reaction, I can tell that this is your life! How sad. Now, how many of you would like to see me drop an emotional load on you right now? FeelMyFeel: You make me so ill. That is NEVER going to happen! However, I can imagine all of you here in this "Community" have partaken in this, this personal hell. You all need to be responsible for your actions taken both online and in real life, yes I'm spelling it out instead of abbreviating it, you can make no abbreviations in life! What are in these sharing times is nothing but poison! It says "the one area where people want to hear your life story". That italics seems to imply the level of sarcasm I would use when describing this god forsaken section, but I really don't want to hear your life story. And you people shouldn't want to hear it, neither. This is the embodiment of all your addictions to this "community" and of your inadequacies! The embodiment of all that eats away at your mind, it ruins your relationships! You need look no further than this mess! https://www.thesbcommunity.com/profile/2884-rachel-bloom/?status=15258&type=status FeelMyFeel: This! This is the WORST of them all! Ladies and gentlemen of the Failure Community, when you share your life stories, you are poisoning yourself as well as others! And just like these sharing times, you are throwing your lives away. The guests :patboos: this act mercilessly. FeelMyFeel: This is 2017! 2011 was six years ago! FeelMy Feel: How's this for unloading? FeelMyFeel: I know you all must be going through a whirlwind of feelings right now. But after something euphoric such as this, you should only be feeling one thing, and one thing only. You all should be feeling...my...feel. I have practically given you the tools to survive. https://youtu.be/EurGYUPRPxQ Feel!yFeel: May you use these tools to accept straight edgy into your lives, in true hopes of finally carving out a better living for yourselves. I hope that at least one of you will log out of this today a changed a person, a straight edgy soldier, and find the strength within yourself to move one step closer to being that much better than all of you.
Old Man Jenkins posted a blog entry in OMJflixHey, if TNA can have a hall of fame, then Community Deathmatch can sure as hell have one of its own! So I figured with Community Deathmatch's 4th anniversary coming up in April (holy fucking shit that's old), I thought what better way to commemorate it than to sorta honor the people who helped spawn the madness and whose matches put Community Deathmatch on the map! So here's the gist of things. - I'm gonna keep things simple similar to SBC's own hall of fame and have just two categories; the Member and Match categories. - The Member category will honor a single, exceptional member (cuz hell if CD's picked up enough steam to induct an entire class) who has appeared on Community Deathmatch in any capacity. Whether they are one of the best, most fleshed characters on the show or are just a shit-tier undercarder. Whether they took part in a match for the ages, just talked straight trash, conducted interviews, took shit, gave shit, appeared only on the Exhibition episodes that I post on this blog, etc if this particular character left so much as an impression on you. If they impressed you enough to convince you that they deserve such an honor, then nominate them right on in! And, of course, don't nominate yourself. That shits tacky, mang. I mean, CD can get pretty tacky, but that's too tacky. fuck it, nominate whoever. It makes things more interesting ad easier. Deathmatch can pull this tacky shit off. - The Match category will honor the one match that viewers/voters felt stood out from the rest. Same deal goes for matches; whether it was the best damn match on the show (be it the main thread or the Exhibition entries on this blog), or the worst. If it holds a special place in your heart above all the others, then nominate that lil fucker in! Of course, don't nominate matches that you, yourselves, might have been in. fuck it, nominate whatever. It makes things more interesting ad easier. Deathmatch can pull this tacky shit off. - This post announcing it officially marks the cutoff for nominees. So anything Deathmatch-related posted before this announcement is fair game for nominating. Anything that may be posted hereafter, unfortunately, will not count. But hey, there might be next year! If you happen to have anymore ideas for categories, feel free to lay em on me. I may just add them to the ballot or at least save them for the future. I'm thinking about leaving the nominating process open til the end of March to give potential voters/new readers some time to digest the Deathmatch lore in full. Then have the official voting process go down in April, which just so happens to be Community Deathmatch's birth month. Not that I'm expecting a huge voter turnout, cuz this shit ain't everybody's cup of tea here lel hopefully we can muster up just enough to justify this ceremony exercise your right as an SBC member, a Community Deathmatch fan, and nominate today!
Raw: - Kevin Owens came off like a real beast here, almost scary. From his opening promo to his evisceration of Sami. Definitely looking like more like serious the top heel that he's always meant to be. Definitely can't wait for his match with Goldberg at Fastlane. - Honestly felt that Bayley would've benefitted a lot more had she given the title back to Steph/Charlotte. Idk, it just seems off for her character to decide to hang onto it, especially after the promo she cut right before it. It would've made her looked more honorable and more like the role model that they're trying to push her into being. And it would've been a prime opportunity to plant the seeds of dissent between her and Sasha. - It was a sight for me to see Neville tear Gallagher for being a british stereotype. Been waiting for that. - Are they trying to turn Enzo heel? Bragging about his and Cass' win at Cesaro's, the very much over face of his and Sheamus' dynamic, expense and the actual "Thank You Sheamus" chant after he Brogue Kicked the hell out of Enzo for it. - Holy crap did Big Show and Strowman put on a show during that main event. And these big men matches usually don't go over well, so that is saying a lot. Strowman has definitely shown he has made improvements since his initial call up (my god, the chain wrestling they had going on) and it takes two to tango, Big Show definitely brought the best out of himself and his opponent and helped put the Abominable Strowman over pretty huge here. Mad props to both big men. A nice passing of the torch match, if I ever saw one. Smackdown: - With majority of the brand's major singles stars being preoccupied by the battle royal main event, I felt Smackdown put a nice spotlight on their Women's division with the time and space leftover. They tore it up for what felt like half the show. Wish the Raw Women's division had that kind depth and investment put in. - The Usos cut a pretty dang good promo, if I do say so myself. Good on them. I wish the rest of the tag team gets time to really put themselves out there too, instead of being seen as glorified enhancement. - AJ so totally hit the fucking floor before Luke lol.
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