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Old Man Jenkins

Coffin Jockeys
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    11,357
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Old Man Jenkins last won the day on May 17

Old Man Jenkins had the most liked content!

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10,123 #1 Soda Drinking Hat

About Old Man Jenkins

  • Rank
    bad boy
  • Birthday 05/03/1993

Contact Methods

  • AIM
    FIRE
  • MSN
    BC
  • Website URL
    https://im2.ezgif.com/tmp/ezgif-2-b9a4e20a00.gif
  • ICQ
    https://68.media.tumblr.com/5a28af2aa7723c05ee0126d6ca2c5be6/tumblr_inline_oeugo9SmBb1tgg50f_500.gif
  • Yahoo
    Soda, just drink it

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Pronoun
    Ze
  • Interests
    - Getting senpai to notice me takes precedence over all
    - Basketball, y'all
    - Money
    - People buying my stuff
    - Circumcised swimming
    - Banging on a trashcan
    - Drumming on streetlights
    - Riffs! Yeah, right!
    - Pug trafficking
    - Grand Slams with extra Ham and a SIDE OF CARROT CAKE
    - FUUUCK
    - Throwin' down face-downs
    - Then ending my turns
    - Hey Ben.
    - Yeah?
    - See ya.
    - ...Yeah...
    - Puhhhhh
    - "Yo! Kai!"
    - "THAT'S MY NAME"
    - drinking up the gift of Jericho
    - I feel like I'm a bigger fan of Pokemon now than I was as a kid
    - Putting children's cartoon characters into adult situations
    - Honor
    - Family
    - Tradition
    - And donuts
    - Not Caring!
    - Covering wars, ya know
    - Getting it memorized
    - Making tombstones for stray dogs
    - This list is getting UPBEAT! UPBEAT!

    This is the life, you see. The devil tips his hat to me.
  • Location
    Hawaii
  • Favorite Episode
    Survival of the Idiots
  • Favorite Character
    I love Morty, and I hope Morty loves me

Recent Profile Visitors

626,546 profile views
  1. Old Man Jenkins

    Wrasslin' Crew: Last thread got future endeavored

    Aside from a very bittersweet ending, I enjoyed Summer Slam 2018 for the most part. AJ vs Joe was definitely match of the night for me, shame it was stranded smack dab in the middle of the show. I didn't mind the squash matches too much since it fit well given who won in all three of them (my heart weeps a bit for KO tho). Becky really needed the heel turn more than Charlotte, I think. I'm all for Ronda being women's champ, it's a nice change of pace for the Raw Women's Title picture. The Miz definitely needed the win over D-Bry here, especially if their war continues. Dat ending tho, mang. I liked that Strowman made his presence felt and all that but he ended up looking like a bit of a dolt. He ended up just being collateral damage rather than a looming threat and that's something unbecoming for a Monster Among Men. They really boxed themselves into a corner with this feud in general and I think that happened the moment they gave away the blow off for the Lesnar/Heyman friction on Raw. It was the sole thing that made this iteration of the Lesnar/Reigns feud really interesting and could've salvaged it. I know they wouldn't really have Heyman and Roman hook up, but having the blow off at Summerslam could've made for a better ending than what we got. I mean, who comes out of this looking good? Roman sure didn't get his triumphant clean win over Brock in my book (and the "big victory celebration" afterwards was fittingly awkward and brief), so I'm conditioned to think that he'll finally get his moment "the next time" they cross paths. Brock didn't look nowhere near as violent and dangerous as Heyman hyped him up to be and he looks dumb for letting himself be distracted by a dude he already (and quite handily) took out of the equation. And I talked about Braun earlier. They also could've done a better job of handling his whole "cashing in on the winner" thing. I don't think the announcers tried sweeping that one under the rug, so it painfully came off looking like they were giving the crowd a brief glimmer of hope to distract them from the foregone conclusion. It added confusion to the mix and made the ending seem all the more abrupt. tl;dr: good show, probably the best so far this year (or since the post-Mania season started, at least). Ending was ass tho, could've been better if they had balls, whether it being doing something different for once or just sticking to their push behind Reigns.
  2. Old Man Jenkins

    What'd ya last watch? (Movies)

    Mile 22, how they gon' have Rowdy Ronda Rousey in this and not have her have a fist fight of her own. I like that Lauren Cohan is getting more work outside of Walking Dead and Iko from The Raid movies is getting these Hollywood roles, but this was a pretty crap movie overall.
  3. Old Man Jenkins

    The Spyro series

    If this delay means getting all three games on one disc (which is what it sure is sounding like) then I don't mind. I'm gutted, sure, since it happened so close to the launch date and I've been literally counting down the days, but this seems to be for the best. Especially since I heard that they were still scrambling to complete Year of the Dragon fairly recently and Toys For Bob really had to stand up to Activision in order to approve this delay and put the game out on their own terms. Here's to hoping the extra time is beneficial in polishing a great finished product.
  4. Old Man Jenkins

    Wrasslin' Crew: Last thread got future endeavored

    http://www.wrestlinginc.com/wi/news/2018/0816/644881/top-wwe-star-out-of-action-with-injuries/ sucks to hear. Not just Matt, but I've been hearing rumors and stuff for like the past month or so about Jeff's status as well, what with him apparently being injured again and possibly dealing with nerve problems. As much as I'd like to see them stick around longer and hopefully be given the chance to flesh out their characters more, it's looking more and more like the end of the road for one or both of them.
  5. Old Man Jenkins

    Ask Miss Smiles!

    How's Riverdale? It's on my very, very long list of shows to peep.
  6. Old Man Jenkins

    What'd ya last watch? (Movies)

    Slender Man: Marble Hornets was better than this shit. The Ritual: Pretty good Netflix horror flick. Crazy Rich Asians: Not too big on rom-coms but this turned out pretty damn good, sorta reminded me of a live-action Disney princess joint at times.
  7. Old Man Jenkins

    Wrasslin' Crew: Last thread got future endeavored

    Damn, Dean. Dude's like the same size as Lesnar is now that he's back in the USADA pool. I need whatever diet and workout plan he's been on.
  8. Old Man Jenkins

    Ask the Great Aya anything

    NXT Takes Brooklyn and Summerfest predictions?
  9. Old Man Jenkins

    What'd ya last watch? (Movies)

    BlacKkKlansman, loved it. Another highly recommended. The Meg, now that's what I call mindless entertainment. Would've been interesting to see how Eli Roth would've directed it had he stuck on.
  10. Old Man Jenkins

    First look at Dora from the live-action film

    Here's to seeing Danny DeVito as the Grumpy Old Troll
  11. Old Man Jenkins

    How are you feeling? (Emotionally)

    Had one of my better weeks this past week.
  12. Old Man Jenkins

    What'd ya last watch? (Movies)

    "Sorry To Bother You": Up there on my favorites list so far this year. If you have a surreal ass sense of humor and are into social commentaries, I'd highly recommend. "The Spy Who Dumped Me": Pretty funny, more brutal than I expected and to add onto that, it had some pretty good action to boot. "Darkest Minds": Pretty interesting premise (although it does scream X-Men) that just bored me the more it went on. typical YA trilogy kickstarter. Nothin special to me. "Christopher Robin": It hit the right notes for me. I laughed, I teared up a bit at some points. Not quite Paddington, but still good. Plus, Ewan McGregor. The overall message can be pretty wonky depending how you view it.
  13. Old Man Jenkins

    Super Smash Bros Switch

    I'm so fucking hyped for the Castlevania inclusions! K. Rool too.
  14. Old Man Jenkins

    What'cha playing?

    Donkey Kong: Tropical Freeze
  15. Old Man Jenkins

    Skodwarde

    215a. [redacted] Friends Our episode kicks off with our good friend, Patchy the Butt Pirate, and his parrot, Latrine, apparently rowing themselves to Bikini Atoll all the way from Encino, California. He should really think about entering the Olympics. He gives us all a friendly reminder why he's looked so down upon on this show. Toilet is harassing the local kids, which Patchy, of all people, gets after him/her for. Can can't help it because he/she is a redacted. Patchy goes on a very enlightening speech condemning his/her's redacted actions before taking out a comically large spyglass, that took up most of this episode's budget, in order to, ya know, spy on the Skodwarde cast and jerk off to them. Our real episode begins in what seems to be Jellyfish Fields minus the jellyfish, where the entire main cast are gathered around for Sandy's birfday. And if you remember from Salsa Fillercus, the main cast now includes everyone except Plankton (but for the sake of sanity, lets just focus on the main main cast of Hunka Hunka Larry, Skodwarde, SpongeBob, Patrick, Puff Mama, Mr. Krabs, his darling daughter Pole, Scott and Bubble Bath at this point). Skodwarde is contractually obligated to attend, so don't wrack your mind too much around how out of character this is for him. Pathulu eats the entire birfday cake...then eats a knuckle sandwich from Sandy for being such a fat fucking bastard. SpongeBob assures everyone that he made a spare one just in case Patrick decided to be a fat fucking bastard today. Skodwarde asks if there's nuts in it, informing everyone that he's allergic to nuts. SpongeBob quells his fears by declaring that it is indeedly nut-free, unless he means testicles. Skodwarde laughs off that notion before somberly looking down at the surgical scars where his testicles had once been and using his god powers to shove his plate off to the side. He then leaves to have a moment with his thongs. Now I know what you all must be thinking; if he had no nuts this whole time, then where did all the jizz come from when he would jizz himself? Well, I'll leave that to the conspiracy theorists. Sandy couldn't ask for a better cast of critters to be in a spinoff with (except maybe The Squirrelly Adventures of Sandy Cheeks). It's really starting to feel like Tex-Ass all up in here. Krabs and Puff Mama are shown to be just milking Krusty Lust nostalgics and Kruff shippers everywhere while Hunka Hunka Larry, Scott and Bubble Bath are doing the things that make them such endearing characters. Pole's just there doing pole things. We should probably overhaul the cast billings for the eleventh season. Meanwhile, Patchy is still up there, jerking, when he spots what he believes to be a murder taking place in the next field over, so he and Outhouse have themselves a Disturbia-inspired adventure, but hopefully they die. Back at the party, a cosmic turn of events happens when a pasty ass-like object emerges from the confines of a nearby undersea volcano and it floats through the sky like some Majora's Mask shit. Everybody but Sandy are immediately attracted towards it, Krabs even dumping Puff Mama right then and there once it catches his attention. The moon's light shines down on the party and it begins to have a strange effect. What could it do? Turn everybody into gods? Nah, we've had enough of that plot point in God Coupon and other episodes I'm sure. The partygoers caught in the moonlight suddenly start redacting on kids, eventually spreading over to the main main cast. Sandy is unaffected by it tho. Sandy watches in horror as the main main cast do unspeakable redacted things. Skodwarde returns, having made peace with his nut problem, and Sandy immediately shudders at the thought of what a redacted with god powers might do. She desperately tries to shield Skodwarde from the moon's light, but her efforts are in vain when Skodwarde stops giving a fuck and he casually leaves her designated shaded area. Now officially redacted, Skodwarde uses his god powers to shut down the whole show and proceeds to literally hold it hostage. Having just celebrated Sandy's birfday, everyone decides that she's much too old for them and they leave her be. In dire straits, Sandy butt dials the one character who can prove to be even higher than a god. The French Narrator (who is totally not the Cyclops from the Skodwarde Movie btw) answers her call, high as a kite and wondering if he's hallucinating any of this because a talking squirrel is just too weeeeeiiiiird. He realizes that he's talking to Sandy Cheeks when she reminds him of that romantic evening they spent together in Monaco. Frenchy offers her anything he can to help her current situation. Sandy wants to know just what the fuck is up with that floating Ron Weasley looking freckle pale ass in the sky. Disappointed, Frenchy puts the engagement ring away and informs Sandy that what she's witnessing is Steven's Moon. The emergence of Steven's Moon is a terrible event that happens out of nowhere and it causes anything that gets bathed in its light to devolve into a predatory, pedophilic and psychopathic state. He theorizes that Sandy's air suit must double as plot armor, which saved her back in Salsa Fillercus and is what's saving her from exposure to Steven's Moon. Sandy asks if there's anything she can do to put a stop to it, but Frenchy informs her that her best option is to just wait it out. She asks how long, to which he replies, "maybe about a weekend." With no other choice, Sandy takes the characters that matter to her the most and keeps them safe at her Tree Dome. With The Jackoff Crew, the two salesman who tried to sell SpongeBob sex in "Jellyfish Holocaust (ok, they weren't actually in that, but if i could write that ep again, I'd fix that mistake in a heartbeat), Heart Man and the sexual deviant who is Skodwarde's version of The Con Man in "Sexual Chocolate With These Nuts" all safe and sound in her Tree Dome, Sandy proceeds to wait it out. Two days pass and the events of Steven's Moon is on the verge of finally being put behind her. However, Skodwarde lays siege to the tree dome and slaps her in the face with a message as to why he decided to take down the show in the first place, citing her "immature and wily reactions to these events " as the second main reason behind saving his own foreskin, of course. This gives an opening for the rest of the main main cast to storm in, as well. Patrick is posing as a pediatrician going by the trustworthy name of Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick, Puff Mama is teaching a high school English class now, Scott is working as a Scuber driver now and is using the job to get kids where he wants them, Krabs is doing sinister callbacks to Krabby Land while threatening to cut her with his claws, Bubble Bath has already gone through the trouble of doxxing her, SpongeBob has just found out what sex is and is writing creepy fanfics about it and I can't come up with anything clever for Pole. She's lying about being in jail when she's really partying with friends, I guess. Skodwarde proceeds to use his god powers to forcibly remove Sandy's plot armor. With more terrible acts happening than she can handle, Sandy butt dials Frenchy again. Frenchy narrates that Sandy has the power within her to stop all of this. Sandy has an epiphany, and in a moment of clarity, remembers that she too has god powers! Having had trouble tapping into her god powers before, Sandy digs deep inside herself to fully tap in to all that power. The skies darken and the weather takes a crazy turn for the worse as Sandy once again ascends to become Hurricane Sandy. Using her hurricane force winds, she has her god powers shift the clouds in order to redact Steven's Moon, thus shielding Bikini Bottom from its evil and returning everyone back to normal. Goddamn, I just realized she is using her god powers in a way that matches her gimmick. Sandy keeps the storm up until Steven's Moon finally gets drowned out and thrown into real butt-pounding jail. Sandy descends back to her mortal form and is pleased to see that everyone is back to what is considered to be normal in the Skodwarde universe. Her celebration is cut short when a red pill emerges from the very same undersea volcano now and it too ascends into the sky. Everyone doesn't swallow it. Everyone except for Sandy, that is. And doing so causes her to devolve into a teenaged Fortnite fangirl who's way into edgy things and fantasizes about some white Lunchable-loving dude who's older than her and she's never even met. Frenchy tries to propose to Sandy once again, but back pedals tf away from ever wanting to do that again. And thus, our episode ends with Patchy and Commode not dead yet, and being hailed as heroes for their Disturbia-inspired exploits. The French Narrator jumpscares the shit out of Patchy in order to prepare him for the bigger jumpscare that is to come, Luke's Document. The French Narrator leaves them to their fate as the red pill rises out of the ocean shoves itself down their throats. Patchy transforms into a Puerto Rican that's dedicated to forum activity and doing strange things with fish, while Potty turns into an even more callous Sonic fan who orgasms at the very thought of the Skodified version of Ink Lemonade being posted soon.
Doubloons: $44,334


ImageNameDescriptionAmount
Independence Sword 2012 (KK) A *free* limited edition sword for Independence Day 2012. Its aura seems to weaken everyday, suggesting it will eventually lose its ability to hurt others. (Note: It's as powerful as the Basic Sword; if you have a better sword, you can get this as a collectors item.)1
Spat (KK) A *free* limited edition sword for SpongeBob's 13th anniversary. Its aura seems to weaken everyday, suggesting it will eventually lose its ability to hurt others. (Note: It's as powerful as the Basic Sword; if you have a better sword, you can get this as a collectors item.)1
Golden Spatula 1
Lime 1
Name Change Change your name.
Note: this can only be used once every two weeks!
1
Goofy Sombrero 1
V11 Polo Shirt An exclusive item for your iFish to celebrate the launch of V11!1
Santa Beard An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2015.1
Santa Sweater An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2015.1
Santa Pants An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2015.1
Santa Boots An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2015.1
SpongeBob Christmas 2015 An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2015.1
Squidward Christmas 2015 An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2015.1
Chocolate Clarinet An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2015.1
Chocolate Starfish An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2015.1
Chocolate Fruitcake An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2015.1
Magic Conch 1
Chocolate Donkey An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2015.1
Chum Bucket Bucket Helmet An item exclusively given during April Fools 2016!1
Sky 1
Yellow 1
Skodwarde Badge An exclusive item given to whoever purchases it from the Prize Store at Spin-Off Festivals 6 or 7. This item is proof the user bought it.1
Silver Bell An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2016.1
Reindeer Hat An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2016.1
Holiday Gary An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2016.1
Holiday Patrick An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2016.1
Chocolate Krabby Patty An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2016.1
Chocolate Dollar An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2016.1
Chocolate Spatula An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2016.1
Chocolate Jellyfish An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2016.1
Community Deathmatch Shirt 1
Xat Time Travelers Badge 1
Jingle Bell Hat 1
Holiday Scarf 1
Winter SpongeBob An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2017.1
Santa Claus An exclusive item given out during 12 Days of Christmas at Snowcember Ball 2017.1
Chocolate Flower 1
Chocolate Karate Glove 1
Chocolate Snail 1
Lei 1
This One's On The House A shirt for Skodwarde fans.1
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