4BlackHawk

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4BlackHawk last won the day on December 6 2016

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463 Abominable Snow Mollusk

6 Followers

About 4BlackHawk

  • Rank
    I am with the 99%!
  • Birthday 08/27/1985

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Pronoun
  • Interests
    Everyone has a right to their own opinion; I was the March 2017 Employee Of The Month!
  • Location
    California, USA
  • Favorite Character
    Spongebob

Display Name History

  1. "Flushed Away."
  2. I'll pick the "Then There Were Less Hat".
  3. I'll whack Strezz, Whaleblubber, and Captain Magma!
  4. Throws at the "Pisces Moon" bottle.
  5. I'll hit it with my BEST shot; FIRE AWAY!!!!
  6. I'm spinning! Big money, big money, no whammies, STOP!!!!
  7. RAID!!!!
  8. SOF7

    It’s time for another cool episode; so buckle up as we head into Scandinavia for another exciting adventure of “Total Cartoon Global Cruise!” / Sniz is in the cock-pit and he says: “Last time on Total Cartoon Global Cruise, we traveled to the land of Newfoundland, Canada. There, the contestants had to chop down a great, HUGE tree, and then make a totem pole, of all the previously eliminated contestants! Captain Retro formulated a plan to get Zarbon and Bulma out of the game, which required a little bit of help! Enter Rocko, who raised ALL the right warnings to Zarbon, and made the alien REALLY start to question his role in this entire season! Bulma didn’t like that, and TRIED to undermine Rocko’s status, by outing him out as being Bi-Sexual! The strategy, didn’t work. And to make Bulma even MORE furious, Rocko quit the game; not out of stupidity, but just to SPITE her! We are now down to nine contestants; and we’re heading to a place where the weather is cold, and the Fjords are even COOLER! We’re going way out THIS time, on another rocking episode of Total Cartoon (sings) Global Cruise! I wonder, how do you say that in Norwegian?” / Instead of the usual show open, the Norwegian band A-ha, sings their gigantic hit song as Zarbon and Chameleon contemplate their relationships with Bulma and Dudley, respectively. / Genre: New wave. Sub-genre: Synth pop. Song: “Take On Me.” Sung by: A-ha! / “Talking away, I don't know what I'm to say, but I'll say it anyway. Today's another day to find you. Shying away, I'll be coming for your love, OK? Take on me, (take on me). Take me on, (take on me). I'll be gone, in a day or two! So needless to say, I'm odds and ends; but I'm me, stumbling away. Slowly learning that life is OK. Say after me, ‘It's no better to be safe than sorry.’ Take on me, (take on me). Take me on, (take on me). I'll be gone, in a day or two! (Synthesizer solo) Oh, things that you say, yeah; is it life, or just to play my worries away? You're all the things I've got to remember. You're shying away, I'll be coming for you anyway. Take on me, (take on me). Take me on, (take on me). I'll be gone, in a day! Take on me, (take on me). Take me on, (take on me). I'll be gone, in a day!” / And the epic song ends! / “Norway Out!” / The plane is in transit, and Suzie is REALLY enjoying herself in the V.I.P. Lounge treatment for the first time! Suzie says: “Oh, YEAH!!!! Suzie Carmichael has FINALLY got a seat in the WINNER’S circle! It took longer than I expected, but I did it!” Captain Retro says: “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Besides, you should be aware that I can’t HELP you win this thing in every single challenge that we come across; not for much longer, at any rate. It’s not just about skill, it’s also about luck! And luck has a FUNNY habit of changing when you LEAST expect it to!” Suzie scoffs and says: “I’m no fool! After all, I’m the one who got Angelica Pickles to actually threaten MY life, just by KISSING Otto Rocket, who didn’t even HAVE any more interest in Angelica Pickles, anyways! So I know how quickly luck can change!” Captain Retro says: “All the same, don’t expect me to keep working miracles for you. I estimate Zarbon’s only got one last chance to eliminate me. If he fails this time, Bulma will try to get ME to target him for sure!” Suzie scoffs and says: “You’re not HONESTLY going to play BALL with Bulma after all the UNDERHANDED tactics she pulled THIS season?! After outing Rocko like THAT?! I’m sorry; but as far as I’M concerned, she’s out of the game!” Captain Retro says: “You should know it’s not that simple! She’s got ZARBON to protect her! And the reason why we don’t ‘JUST’ vote her off and be DONE with it, is that Zarbon would be willing to KILL everyone if we even THINK about voting his love interest off! And unless Zarbon gets completely crippled, he’ll do pretty much the exact same thing if HE gets voted off!” Suzie says: “So I’m guessing it will boil down to a show-down; huh?” Captain Retro nods and says: “Pretty soon. Just keep this on the down-low, okay? Don’t give Bulma any MORE of a reason to target you, other than that you’re just another obstacle in her way!” Suzie smiles and says: “You can count on me! I’m not just the most FASHIONABLE on this plane, I’m also one of the most CUNNING and tactical! I won’t GIVE Bulma any reason to try to blind side ME!!!!” Captain Retro smiles and says: “That’s definitely one LESS thing for us to WORRY about!” (Confessional) Captain Retro sighs and says: “We’re definitely getting closer to the moment of truth; the possible paths to all the different futures have all been closed down. Soon, only one will remain. Bulma is not going to listen to anyone, nor will she care that what she is doing, will only end up hurting her own game. It’s all going to boil down to Dudley in this round. He’s the last one who has a chance of getting Zarbon to STOP Bulma from doing what she PLANS on doing! And if Dudley can’t do it, Zarbon is going to be in for a world of HURT in the next challenge!” / Suzie says: “It all makes sense now! I should’ve known that what Wally and Rocko weren’t being STUPID when they quit the game! Even if we HAD the votes, it wouldn’t have mattered if Zarbon could’ve just flat-out KILLED us! Captain Retro is only trying to protect us with this plan! And any plan that protects me, is a plan that I’m cool with! But one thing is for sure, if Captain Retro actually MANAGES to stop Zarbon in his tracks, it’s certainly going to give the rest of us a real GOOD reason to vote Captain Retro out, once we get rid of Bulma!” (End Confessional) Zarbon looks in the mirror, and sees that his left eye is once again completely healed, but he still sighs in sadness, as something is STILL completely nagging him, in the back of his mind! Bulma asks: “Come on, Zarbon! Why so melancholy? We’re doing a GREAT job of outlasting the other contestants! Victory is in the bag!” Zarbon groans and says: “Oh, when will we STOP hurting all the other contestants?” Bulma smiles and answers: “Just as soon as I get my CLEAN SLATE and EVERYONE only remembers me for being the talented, beautiful genius which I truly am!” Zarbon seriously says: “You cannot be SERIOUS!” Bulma smirks and says: “Oh really? Who else on this plane has an 888 I.Q. that could POSSIBLY match mine? I work CIRCLES computing figures around those other contestants, I make them look like they fell asleep, standing on their feet! I’m going to achieve VICTORY in this game! The question is, do you want to be WITH there WITH me, when I inevitably achieve my goal and get what I so RICHLY deserve?!” Zarbon asks: “But WHY do we have to HURT people in order to do it?!” Bulma screams: “SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!! Stop TALKING about those other contestants as if they could POSSIBLY amount to ANYTHING!!!! They are mere COMMONERS!!!! Second-class citizens! It’s not like they have any actual ‘feelings!’ That’s just a LIE spread by the Hallmark Greeting Card Company in order to SELL more Greeting Cards! We’re the ONLY contestants that MATTER in this contest! You would be WISE to remember that! You’ve only GOT a couple of more CHANCES, to TRY to get out Captain Retro ONCE and for ALL!!!! Do NOT…I repeat, do NOT…BE A DUMB-BUTT!!!! I thank you in advance!” (Confessional) Zarbon sighs and asks: “Why won’t Bulma LISTEN to me?! I’m only TRYING to HELP! I’m not even sure WHAT to think about her anymore!” / Bulma groans and says: “Figures! No matter how LONG you develop a ‘show-mance’ with somebody, and no matter how much PRETEND ‘love’ and ‘caring’ that you GIVE somebody, they ALWAYS have to try to THINK FOR THEMSELVES!!!! As if ZARBON could ever actually DO that!!!! Well, no matter! Zarbon actually only has ONE more chance to get rid of Captain Retro. And if Zarbon SUCKS again, I’ll just trick Captain Retro by using the old ‘Sympathy’ act, and play the perfect part of an ABUSED partner in a relationship! Than Captain Retro will coming rushing to MY side to protect me from Zarbon, quicker than you can say, ‘Easy Street,’ which is where I will be LIVING once I get MY Clean Slate!” (End Confessional) The five other contestants are in Normal Class, where they are all contemplating their next course of action. Skipper asks: “Say, Reggie? You no longer have your husband to fall back on, RIGHT?! How would you like to team up with ME in order to give Zarbon, Bulma, AND Patrick what they have COMING to them?!” Reggie scoffs and says: “I’d trust anyone ELSE before I’d trust YOU; Mr. CRAZY!!!!” Skipper shouts: “I am NOT crazy!!!! I’m the only one with any common SENSE on this plane!” Dudley scoffs and asks: “You call, going to FONDUE, threatening to BLOW up a steel door, and TRYING to dig up non-existent dirt on PATRICK, common sense?!” Skipper says: “I’ll decide what’s right and wrong around here! That’s my job as the top penguin agent in the entire world!” Chameleon says: “Look, I don’t know WHO you think you are, or who PROMISED you, that you were the only one that could WIN this challenge! But from NOW on; you act SANE around the rest of us! All right?!” Skipper seriously says: “Listen, you LIZARD; let’s get ONE thing straight! With the exception of MARLENE, I take orders from just ONE person/penguin; ME!!!!” Patrick chuckles and says: “It’s a wonder you’re still alive!” Skipper gives Patrick a dirty look and says: “Will SOMEBODY get that DISCOUNT BATH MAT out of my SIGHT?!!!” Reggie seriously says: “Say, you’ve got a LOT of NERVE!!!! Why don’t you just GROW up?!” Skipper seriously says: “NO!!!! I am GOING to be RIGHT about Patrick doing something DIABOLIC even if it KILLS somebody!!!!” And Skipper storms off to use the Confessional. Dudley groans and asks: “Why won’t that penguin ever LISTEN to REASON?!!!” Chameleon says: “You know Skipper. Once he gets an idea STUCK in his head, you can’t get it out unless you PROVE to him that it’s right or wrong!” Patrick asks: “A discount bath mat? That’s definitely an insult I’ve never heard before!” Reggie sighs and says: “Just ignore him, Patrick. He’s just upset that he doesn’t HAVE a close-knit circle of friends to fall back on, the way the rest of us do! Once Zarbon, Bulma, and Captain Retro are gone, I propose a FRIENDSHIP Finale!!!!” Dudley asks: “A friendship finale?” Reggie says: “Sure, the four of us, along with Suzie if she wants it, team up together as friends, and work together to get to the Final Five. Not as rivals, but as friends.” Chameleon says: “I can go for a finale like that!” Reggie says: “We promise to not try any diabolic plots or schemes against each other, and instead, focus on a good, clean competition in the last few challenges. So that way, the contestants who get to the end, will win the challenge fair and square!” Patrick says: “That certainly sounds like a plan to me!” The four contestants put their hands together and simultaneously say: “To the Friendship FINALE!!!!” (Confessional) Skipper groans and say: “I HATE THIS!!!! They are ALL deliberately PLOTTING against me! They WANT me to CRACK!!!! They WANT me to go INSANE!!!! Why else would they go to the trouble of COVERING for Patrick, and taking HIS side on everything?! Well, just because I’m PARANOID, doesn’t mean that I DON’T have any enemies! If Zarbon can mess around with Editing Footage, than SO can I! There’s got to be SOME dirt about Patrick in the hundreds of hours of footage that has been SHOT this season!” / Reggie says: “If we can pull this Friendship Finale off, it will make me feel a whole lot better about Rocko sacrificing his game for mine. That’s the sweetest thing he’s ever done for me, and I want to show him that I can be sweet to the rest of the ‘SANE’ contestants that remain in this competition! A good, clean, finish to this chaotic season, is something that I am REALLY looking forward to!” / Dudley says: “Skipper has a WARPED idea on just what exactly constitutes as common sense! Was he DROPPED on his HEAD while he was an egg?!” / Chameleon says: “I may not be the SMARTEST reptile in the world, but I know what ROAD KILL is! And right now, Skipper is the walking equivalent, as a contestant on this show!” / Patrick says: “If Skipper want to so DESPERATELY look for something on ME; he can be my guest! If BULMA doesn’t even want to TRY to target me, why in the world should SKIPPER waste his time?! It’s not like he’s going to FIND anything! What in the world could Skipper possibly be looking for?! You simply can’t find, what just DOESN’T exist!” (End Confessional) Skipper, using his highly skilled training as a Spy Penguin, travels through the ventilation shaft of the plane, enters into the Editing Room, and selects the program, titled: “All the episodes Played At Once.” Skipper chuckles and says: “This will SHOW Patrick!” / After sixty whole minutes of analyzing ALL the footage, Skipper is FLABBERGASTED, that he’s NOT finding out anything DIRTY about Skipper! Skipper says: “Come ON!!!! Patrick is TERRIBLE at keeping SECRETS?! Than that means that he couldn’t POSSIBLY be planning anything diabolic against anybody; he would’ve SAID something already! Did I really just BLOW my own chances THAT badly?!” Sniz activates the intercom, and over the loud-speakers, Sniz says: “Attention, contestants! We are headed to the land of Norway. Fondue thought it would be a good opportunity to experience a naval battle, just like the Vikings had. But…because a reality show has already DONE that; we are going to do something different! We are going to a theme park in Norway! There, games of skill and games of chance will test your luck! You will be trying your best to earn a high score by the end of the day! The highest scoring winner and a guest of their choice will receive the V.I.P. Lounge treatment, and immunity!” General Barracuda says: “Tell them what else they can expect!” Sniz announces: “Also, any contestants that might be THINKING about quitting, shouldn’t even bother! Because THIS time, it’s an AUTOMATIC elimination! The lowest scoring contestant must automatically pack their bags, and head OUT of the competition! That means, NO Elimination Ceremony! Do not pass go, do not earn a chance to collect up to $44.44 million in cold hard cash! We’ll be arriving at Norway in about an hour, and if we find ANY evidence that SOMEONE has been in the EDITING Room WITHOUT our permission, they will automatically have POINTS docked from WHATEVER their FINAL score is!!!!” Skipper panics and says: “Sniz will be coming! I better use the old stand-by!!!!” And Skipper pulls out a secret spy kit, which contains a packet which reads: “Secret Emergency Fingerprint Collection,” and under a folder which reads: “Zarbon,” Skipper uses a powder puff to ABSORB the absconded fingerprints, and spreads them all AROUND the Editing Room, so it will LOOK like ZARBON has been using the room! Skipper gets BACK into the Ventilation Shaft, and says: “Try to talk your way out of THAT, ADONIS!!!!” / In the V.I.P. Lounge, Suzie is drinking Crystal Pepsi, then she says: “A challenge based on games of skill and LUCK?!!! How is everyone going to fare in this one?!” Captain Retro says: “Totally unpredictable! All you can do is your VERY best! And don’t let Zarbon or Bulma try to pull any of their TRICKY tricks around you!” Suzie says: “I never would!” Captain Retro says: “If our good karma has been any indication, we’ll be safe in this round. But someone’s luck has run out! I suppose we’ll find out who it is; very soon enough!” (Commercial Break) / I’ll break here and stop for now. / Enough said, for now!
  9. "Spider-Man!"
  10. I'll trade in 125 doubloons for 125 tickets. (Can't WAIT to own a Unicycle!)
  11. I will also pick the "Total Cartoon Island" hat.
  12. To quote Plankton: "Oh my GOODNESS!!!! SQUIDWARD!!!!"
  13. Maybe it's just me, but the sandwich house gag kind of seems like it's both poking fun at the Pillsbury Dough Boy, and the average eating habits of the 'average' American. In any case, it will sure be interesting to watch once it comes out in the states.
  14. The "Power Rangers: Multiverse Force" episode, "The Drums of War," is now up. Some time in this upcoming week, I shall try to post the "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" episode, "Norway Out!"
  15. SOF7

    The Drums of War Ebony, Lettuce, Usagi, and Toby, are in the garage of Ebony’s house; and they’ve got a bunch of musical instruments spread out, as they’re trying to figure something out. Ebony’s garage is mostly painted in black, and covered with posters of Green Day and Blink-182. Toby says: “I’m all ready to start rocking out in a rock band, and become all famous and stuff!” Usagi says: “We have to figure out what we’re going to play, first!” Lettuce says: “And we have to figure it out before Ebony’s parents come home!” Ebony says: “I wouldn’t worry about that. My parents work late day…AND night shifts at the Ministry of Magic, they are almost NEVER home! While I like the independence, it is FRUSTRATING to have to cook up food for MYSELF all the time!” Lettuce says: “Well, I think we should get the hard part out of the way, first. What are we going to call ourselves?!” Ebony says: “Easy; the Dark Lords of the Underworld!” Lettuce says: “I want to be called The Oddballs!” Usagi says: “I want to be called Shiny Face!” Toby says: “I want to be called the Arena Progressives!” Pinkie walks in and says: “I have a Pinkie Keen idea! Why don’t you call yourselves, The Dark, Shiny, Progressive, Arena, Oddball, Face, Lords of the Underworld?!” The other Rangers simultaneously say: “We are NOT calling ourselves, The Dark, Shiny, Progressive, Arena, Oddball, Face, Lords of the Underworld!” (Quick Cut) Ebony sighs and says: “I CAN’T believe we’re calling ourselves, The Dark, Shiny, Progressive, Arena, Oddball, Face, Lords of the Underworld!” Usagi says: “At least we’ve got the NAME, settled!” Lettuce says: “Now all we got to do is figure out a sound!” Ebony says: “I’ve already GOT a sound! Listen to THIS!” Ebony picks up an electric guitar, as she plays and sings her version of a Green Day hit song, “Holiday”! / Ebony sings: “Say, hey! Hear the sound of the falling rain. Coming down like an Armageddon flame. Hey! The shame, the ones who died without a name. Hear the dogs howling out of key, to a hymn called ‘Faith and Misery’. Hey! And bleed, the company lost the war today. I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies. This is the dawning of the rest of our lives, on holiday! Hear the drum pounding out of time. Another protester has crossed the line. Hey! To find, the money's on the other side. Can I get another Amen? Amen! There's a flag wrapped around a score of men. Hey! A gag, a plastic bag on a monument. I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies. This is the dawning of the rest of our lives, on holiday! Hey! Say, hey! Zieg Heil to the president Gasman! Bombs away is your punishment! Pulverize the Eiffel towers who criticize your government! Bang, bang, goes the broken glass and kill all the fags that don't agree. Trials by fire, setting fire, is not a way that's meant for me. Just cause; hey, hey, hey, just cause, because we're outlaws yeah! I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies. This is the dawning of the rest of our lives! I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies. This is the dawning of the rest of our lives! This is our lives, on holiday!” / Lettuce gets an odd look and says: “We are NOT going to sing a song that INSULTS gay people! This isn’t the 1990’s, you know! It’s culturally insensitive to sing about songs like that! Now, here’s what I’m thinking of!” Lettuce starts playing a synthesizer, as he plays and sings his version of Talking Heads hit song, “Burning down the House.” / Lettuce sings: “Watch out, you might get what you're after! Cool babies, strange, but not a stranger! I'm an ordinary guy, burning down the house! Hold tight! Wait 'til the party's over. Hold tight, we're in for nasty weather! There has got to be a way! Burning down the house! Here's your ticket, pack your bags, time for jumping overboard. The transportation is here. Close enough but not too far, maybe you know where you are; fighting fire with fire! All wet! Hey, you might need a raincoat! Shakedown, dreams walking in broad daylight! Three hundred sixty five degrees; burning down the house! It was once upon a place; sometimes I listen to myself. Gonna come in first place! People on their way to work, and baby, what did you expect? Gonna burst into flame! OH!!!! (Synthesizer solo) Burning down the house! My house is out of the ordinary! That's right! Don't want to hurt nobody! Some things sure can sweep me off my feet! Burning down the house! No visible means of support, and you have not seen nothing yet. Everything's stuck together! And I don't know what you expect, just staring into the TV set; fighting fire with fire! Oh!” (Lettuce plays the synthesizer until the song fades out and ends). / Usagi asks: “Do you want to ADVOCATE burning down the house?!” Lettuce says: “It’s just an expression! It doesn’t MEAN anything!” Usagi says: “Well, I personally don’t like a song with THAT kind of message! I prefer something more light and bouncy; like this!” Usagi turns on a Karaoke machine, as she sings along to her version of Puffy Ami Yumi’s version of Cyndi Lauper’s, “Girl’s Just Want to Have Fun!” / Usagi sings: “I come home in the morning light, my mother says, ‘When you gonna live your life right?’ Oh, mother dear, we're not the fortunate ones; and girls, they want to have fun. Oh girls just want to have fun! The phone rings in the middle of the night! My father yells, ‘What you gonna do with your life?’ Oh, daddy dear, you know you're still number one; but girls, they want to have fun! Oh, girls just want to have; that's all they really want! Is some fun! When the working day is done, oh girls, they want to have fun! Oh girls, just want to have fun! Girls, they want; want to have fun! Girls, they want to have! (Hums) Some boys take a beautiful girl, and hide her away from the rest of the world! I want to be the one to walk in the sun! Oh girls, they want to have fun! Oh, girls just want to have; that's all they really want, is some fun! When the working day is done; oh girls, they want to have fun! Oh girls just want to have fun! Girls, they wanna have fun. Girls wanna have; they just wanna, they just wanna, girls just wanna, they just wanna; they just wanna, have fun! Girls, just wanna have fun! They just wanna, they just wanna; they just wanna, they just wanna; they just wanna, they just wanna; girls, girls just wanna have fun! When the working, when the workin' day is done. Oh, when the workin' day is done; oh girls, girls just wanna have fun! They just wanna, they just wanna; they just wanna, they just wanna, oh girls, girls just wanna have fun! When the working; when the working day is done. When the working day is done; oh girl, girls just wanna have fun!” / And the epic song ends! Toby is weirded out and asks: “What was THAT we just listened to?!” Usagi asks: “J-Pop, as performed by Puffy Ami Yumi! Isn’t it GREAT?!” Toby says: “I’d say it was ‘SOMETHING’, but I don’t think you’d like what I’d call it! Now, listen to what REAL classical rock music is all about!” Toby starts playing the drums, as he sings his version of a Genesis hit song! / Toby sings: “Stay with me. My love, I hope you'll always be, right here by my side if ever I need you! Oh, my love! In your arms, I feel so safe and so secure. Every day is such a perfect day to spend, alone with you! I will follow you; will you follow me? All the days and nights that we know will be, I will stay with you; will you stay with me? Just one single tear in each passing year. With the dark; oh, I see so very clearly now. All my fears are drifting by me so slowly now; fading away. I can say, the night is long, but you are here. Close at hand, I'm better for the smile you give! And while I live, I will follow you; will you follow me? All the days and nights, that we know will be. I will stay with you, will you stay with me? Just one single tear in each passing year there will be! (Drum solo) I will, follow you; will you follow me? All the days and nights that we know will be. I will, stay with you; will you stay with me? Just one single tear in each passing year, I will, follow you; will you follow me? All the days and nights that we know will be. I will, stay with you; will you stay with me? Just one single tear in each passing year, I will, follow you; will you follow me? All the days and nights that we know will be. I will, stay with you; will you stay with me? Just one single tear in each passing year.” (Hums and drums until the song fades out). Pinkie claps and says: “Say; that was pretty good!” Toby asks: “So you thought MY song was the best?!” Pinkie says: “I can’t DECIDE! All of them were all so good in their OWN fantastical way!” Ebony groans and says: “FIGURES Pinkie Pie would choose the EASY way out! Why couldn’t NARUTO have been here?! He’d give us an HONEST opinion!” Lettuce sighs and says: “You know how stubborn Naruto is; until he gets STRONG enough to take down BlackHawk in single combat, he’s NEVER going to stop spending his nights using the Simulation Planet at the Command Center!” Toby sighs and says: “Maybe we better sleep on it, and figure it out tomorrow. Mom will be upset with me if I’m late for dinner.” Ebony says: “Fair enough, even quarter vampires NEED their BEAUTY sleep!” Ebony goes into her own house, while the other Rangers head for their own separate houses. The garage is closed and the lights are turned off. But unbeknownst to Ebony, there’s a sinister looking, purple VIPER slithering in Ebony’s garage; and it TRANSFORMS into the familiar appearance of Vipera! Vipera chuckles and says: “Thanks to Circe’s latest magic ritual, I can now change into an actual viper ANYTIME I want! These look like some pretty good DRUMS; PERFECT to combine with Drako’s LATEST Blood Beast! Emperor Diabolica will take away MY curse for SURE!!!!” And Vipera takes HALF of the drum set; and teleports away! But no sooner does Vipera leave, than does an invisible RIPPLE appear in the room, and materializes into MIRROR!!!! Mirror chuckles and says: “Thank you for the BRILLIANT idea, Vipera! But you’re wasting your time! Queen Hedrian’s drum monster will be BETTER than yours; and WE will destroy the Rangers first! And once we do, the Orange Ruby will be OURS for the taking!” And Mirror takes the OTHER half of the drum set; and teleports away! / Emperor Diabolica smiles as Vipera arrives with the STOLEN drum set! Emperor Diabolica says: “Thank you for providing us with our latest weapon, to take DOWN those AWFUL Power Rangers! As a reward, I shall give BACK to you, what was ONCE taken away from you!” And Emperor Diabolica SHOOTS his magic, and produces a brand NEW Purple Motorcycle for Vipera! And Vipera pleasantly sighs in contentment! Emperor Diabolica says: “I figured you would like it. It’s STRONGER, it’s FASTER, and BETTER than the LAST one was! With your new Motorcycle, you’ll be able to DESTROY the Rangers in high-tech fashion!” Baphomet says: “That’s all nice and fine, but how is a DRUM set going to help us destroy the Rangers?” Drako says: “If you allow me to pour my blood vial on the drum set, I will show you.” Kraky impatiently says: “Well, hurry UP, then!” Drako dumps the blood over the drum set, and it TRANSFORMS into a strong, masculine, muscle-bound drum monster! The drum monster says: “I am Beat Him! Those Male Rangers are in for SUCH a thrashing by the time I get THROUGH with them!” Circe asks: “Just the male rangers?” Emperor Diabolica says: “Without the guys to fall back on, the girls will be MUCH easier for the rest of us to destroy! Besides, BlackHawk IS a guy, and he currently has the Orange Ruby, which WE will be TAKING once Beat Him DESTROYS BlackHawk!” Beat Him says: “I’ll show THOSE Rangers the DRUMS of WAR!!!!” And Beat Him teleports away! Baphomet says: “If you ask me, I think I could do a much better job of taking the Orange Ruby, ALL by myself!” Emperor Diabolica says: “Well, until YOU can pass a Loyalty Test the way that all the OTHERS can, that time shall remain ELUSIVELY out of your REACH!” / At Queen Hedrian’s base, Mirror magically FUSES her stolen drum set with an unhatched egg! Queen Hedrian smiles and says: “Once again, your spying skills remain unsurpassed!” Keller scoffs and says: “I could’ve gotten it TO, if I had been given a chance!” Demon King Banriki shouts: “DON’T be ridiculous! All YOU can do is turn into a SHIELD, and throw the occasional sugar bomb!” General Shogun says: “Besides, what does it matter just WHO got the drum set? All that matters is that WE destroy the Rangers, with the monster we will now FORM!!!!” And the monstrous egg HATCHES, and a very pretty, feminine monster with pink drums, comes out of the egg! The feminine monster says: “I am Pound Her! No female ranger stands a CHANCE while I’m around! I am VERY good at what I do!” Keller asks: “Why the female rangers?” Queen Hedrian says: “The male rangers will be DEVASTATED if something, ‘unfortunate’ were to happen with them! And if we OFFER to make a trade; say, the Orange Ruby for THEIR safety, I think they would be WISE to cooperate with us!” Demon King Banriki says: “Either way, they will ALL get destroyed in the end!” Pound Her says: “I will pound all those Rangers SENSELESS!!!!” And Pound Her disappears! Queen Hedrian sighs in contentment, and says: “If only my older sister could SEE me now; she would be SO proud of me!” / Beat Him is running through the city in the early morning, looking for a place to cause havoc! Beat Him asks himself: “Now, how should I create as much havoc as I can, in order to draw out the Rangers?” Beat Him looks around, and spots a Fireworks Factory! Beat Him smiles, and says: “That should work very NICELY!!!!” And he runs in! Soon after, Pound Her arrives on the scene, and says to herself: “The Rangers won’t be able to ignore a dire emergency happening in Coastal Falls! I think creating a situation at the Fireworks Factory should work NICELY!!!!” Pound Her runs in, but she is SHOCKED to see that Beat Him is about to start havoc of his own at the Fireworks Factory! Pound Her asks: “What are YOU doing here?!” Beat Him says: “I’m going to DESTROY the Male Power Rangers!” Pound Her says: “That’s what I’M going to do, but with the Female Power Rangers!” Beat Him gasps in shock and says: “How DARE you?! You’re RIPPING off Emperor Diabolica’s PLAN!” Pound Her says: “Your plan SUCKS!!!! Queen Hedrian’s plan is MUCH better!” Beat Him incredulously says: “You insignificant little…take THIS!!!!” And Beat Him BEATS his drums, and starts to produce powerful, energized musical notes to attack at Pound Her, who starts responding by doing the same, by POUNDING her drums to produce powerful, energized musical notes to attack at Beat Him! / The alarm blares at the Command Center, and this causes Naruto to exit out of the Simulation Planet! Naruto groans and says: “I HATE it when these monster attacks interrupt my TRAINING sessions! I was REALLY getting better against BlackHawk, as well! I managed to last a whole 40 minutes against him by myself; and almost fight him to a DRAW!!!!” Omnus says: “I’m afraid your personal goal will have to wait. Both Emperor Diabolica and Queen Hedrian have sent out a drum themed monster, and they are both ATTACKING each other within the Fireworks Factory in Coastal Falls!” Alpha 8 says: “Aye-yai-yai-yai-yai! It’s a FIRE Fight!” Naruto looks at the Viewing Globe and says: “Hey! Those creeps are using the same drums that are owned by Ebony! How DARE they take something that isn’t their own?! Although, I suppose they WOULDN’T be evil unless they did!” Naruto pushes his communicator and asks: “Ebony, are you missing any drums this morning?” / Ebony walks into her garage, and can see that her drum kit is no longer there. Ebony says: “Unfortunately, my drums don’t seem to be present at my house hold. Are they being used by the forces of evil?” / Naruto says: “You guessed it!” / Ebony groans and says: “UGH!!!! The one draw-back of being a Ranger; monsters ALWAYS tend to steal your STUFF!” / Omnus says: “I’ve done a thorough analysis on the monsters! If you destroy the monsters themselves, it will return your stolen drum kit to normal!” / Ebony sighs in relief and says: “Well, that’s encouraging!” / Naruto says: “Ebony, have the other Rangers meet me at the Fireworks Factory! Tell them to expect the usual! They’ll know what you mean!” / Ebony says: “Will do, Naruto!” / Naruto says: “Right then! It’s MORPHING time!” / Naruto says: “Tyrannosaurus!” / Naruto teleports into the Fireworks Factory, and Beat Him says: “Ah, my first quarry of the day!” Pound Her says: “Get out of the WAY, Ranger! I have no interest in fighting YOU!” Naruto says: “Sorry to disappoint you, but when you mess with one Ranger, you mess with all of them!” Beat Him says: “Imps, attack!” And a bunch of Imps appear to attack Naruto! Pound Her says: “Dusters, attack!” And the skeleton grunts teleport in to aid Pound Her. Naruto says: “Time for a warm-up! SABERTOOTH FOX MODE!" And Naruto once again gains his special armored form; very similar to his normal Ranger one, except that stylized fox ears were molded into the top of the helmet, and nine armored fox tails sprouted out of Naruto's tailbone. On the chest, rather than the symbol of Core Earth, the symbol resembled a spiral with eight symbols written in stylized writing around it. And it comes COMPLETE with a RED-colored explosion! Using his super-speed, Naruto takes his fire sword, and ZOOMS around with such force, that even Pinkie Pie would be impressed by the effort! Naruto makes SHORT work on the Imps, than he uses his fox claws to tear THROUGH the Dusters, and turns them ALL into dust, with a few, well aimed swipes! Naruto reverts into his normal Ranger form and says: “So much for the warm-up, time for the main event!” / Ebony has all the Rangers gathered at her house. Ebony says: “And that’s the story! Naruto is already starting to fight these two monsters as we speak!” BlackHawk and D.O.G. come running up, and BlackHawk says: “D.O.G. smelled something WRONG going on in town! Is there something out of the ordinary?” Usagi sighs and says: “You know it! Emperor Diabolica and Queen Hedrian are at it again!” D.O.G. says: “We’re lucky those two are at war with each other! It would be much harder for us to fight against the both of them if they were EVER to unite!” Lettuce says: “We’ve got to go and stop them!” BlackHawk says: “They’ll be after my Orange Ruby; I better come with you.” Pinkie asks: “Can you teleport with us?” Toby says: “I think so. It should be easy, given how resilient BlackHawk is in combat and fighting.” BlackHawk says: “D.O.G., I’m going to ask you to stay!” D.O.G. says: “I will obey, not just because I am designed to be a dog, but because I also love you!” Ebony smiles and says: “I love a man who takes care of his pet!” BlackHawk says: “He’s not just, ‘a pet,’ he’s a COMPANION! Two TOTALLY different things!” Usagi says: “We’ll argue about semantics later! It’s Morphing time!” / Ebony says: “Velociraptor!” / Toby says: “Stegosaurus!” / Pinkie says: “Ankylosaurus!” / Lettuce says: “Triceratops!” / Usagi says: “Hadrosaurus!” / And the Rangers and BlackHawk arrive at the Fireworks Factory! Naruto says: “There you guys are. You just missed warming up against the Dusters AND the Imps!” BlackHawk chuckles and says: “I KNEW that was you, with the impressive power level of about 4,000! You’re going to make me start LOOKING bad at this rate!” Than the Rangers hear a familiar ROARING, and Vipera CRASHES through on her new motorcycle! Vipera says: “She’s back, she’s BADDER, and she’s COOLER than EVER!!!!” Ebony asks: “A motorcycle-themed bad guy?” Toby says: “It’s not the first time she’s ridden one. We DESTROYED her LAST one, and we can do it again!” Vipera scoffs and says: “Maybe you didn’t HEAR me; it’s BADDER, COOLER, and it is way STRONGER than the last one EVER was!” Lettuce says: “It still won’t stop us from destroying it!” BlackHawk says: “I’ll deal with Miss Prima Donna, you guys take care of the Monsters!” The other Rangers say: “Right!” Vipera says: “At last, the Orange Ruby will be MINE!!!!” BlackHawk says: “Don’t count on it!” Vipera says: “Venom BLAST!!!!” BlackHawk says: “Woo Foo Field!!!!” And the venom that Vipera blasts out of her sword, is safely absorbed by BlackHawk’s magical protection! Vipera growls angrily and says: “You’re an ANNOYING little pest, AREN’T you?!” BlackHawk says: “Annoying? Possibly. A pest? Only to YOU!!!! Take THIS!!!!” And BlackHawk shoots an orange beam of energy with his Orange Ruby; and Vipera says: “Not THIS time! Shed SKIN!!!!” And as the Orange Beam CONNECTS with the exfoliated skin that Vipera sheds, it actually SPLITS into two, and ends up HITTING into Beat Him, and Pound Her, who are suddenly UNABLE to produce a single musical note with their drums! Beat Him asks: “What gives?! I’ve gone MUTE!!!!” Pound Her says: “The music is all GONE from MY drums!” Ebony incredulously asks: “YOUR drums?! You’ve got SOME nerve to call MY drums, your own!” BlackHawk says: “Not the outcome I was hoping for; but, when life give you lemons, you got to make some lemonade!” Pinkie says: “Time to make some music of our own! Power Weapons!!!!” / Toby says: “Water Axe!” / Pinkie says: “Diamond Boomerang!” / Usagi says: “Wind Staff!” / Lettuce says: “Earth Mace!” / Naruto says: “Flame Sword!” / Ebony says: “Shadow Daggers!” / The Rangers simultaneously say: “Super Power Blaster Cannon!” BlackHawk says: “FIRE RAY!!!!” And at the same time, the Rangers BLAST Pound Her, and BlackHawk FIRES at Beat Him!!!! And they BOTH fall down and EXPLODE into FLAME!!!! Their body parts split into chunks! Vipera growls angrily and says: “I’d use my motorcycle AGAINST you, except I don’t want you to use your Mega Racer against ME, again! I’ll use my Magic Regeneration Blast, and combine THESE two, small monsters, into one HUGE, giant monster! And to top it all off, this COMBINED monster will ONLY be loyal to Emperor Diabolica! Magic Regeneration Blast!!!!” Vipera shoots at the REMAINS of the monsters, and they MORPH into one, GIGANTIC, mish-mashed hybrid of a masculine AND a feminine drum monster! Ebony gags and says: “Ugh! That has DEFINITELY got to be the UGLIEST monster that WE’VE fought so far; and NOT because it’s both male AND female!” Lettuce says: “Thank you!” Vipera says: “Later, losers!” And Vipera disappears! BlackHawk says: “Guys, I’ll leave this up to you!” And BlackHawk flies away. Naruto says: “We need Dinozord Power NOW!!!!” Ebony says: “I call upon the Velociraptor Zord!” And Ebony plays her electric guitar. The dinozords all appear and get ready to fight, as the Rangers jump into their cock-pits! Toby says: “Say, I’ve been itching to see this Final Attack of the Velociraptor Warrior Megazord in action! Ebony, why don’t you show us what it’s all about?!” Ebony smiles and says: “With pleasure!” And five zords combine to form the Velociraptor Warrior Megazord! The five Rangers say: “Velociraptor Warrior Megazord, ACTIVATE!!!!” The mish-mashed monster, says: “I am BEAT POUND, I will BEAT, and POUND you!” Beat Pound, beat and pounds the drums to make the powerful energy musical notes. Pinkie says: “Activate Ankylo Shield!” And an energy shield swirls around the Megazord. Not only does it PROTECT the Megazord, it BOUNCES the energy notes right BACK at Beat Pound! Usagi says: “Time to finish this! Triceratops TRIPLE Spear DRILL!!!!” The three spear trips SPIN around like a powerful drill, and bore right THROUGH Beat Pound, creating a giant HOLE in its chest! The monster falls down, COMPLETELY destroyed! Lettuce says: “To quote Queen; another one bites the dust!” / In Queen Hedrian’s base, Mirror produces a bust of the fallen monster, Pound Her, and places it on a shelf, labeled, “Fallen Monsters.” Mirror says: “I just can’t understand how this whole plot FAILED!!!!” General Shogun ruefully says: “This wouldn’t have HAPPENED if Emperor Diabolica had just MINDED his own business!” Demon King Banriki says: “We need to be more aggressive! Take those Rangers out BEFORE they learn about our TRUE potential!” Queen Hedrian sternly says: “Don’t MAKE me put you BACK into the Phantom Zone! These Rangers are more persistent than I gave them credit for, but we are GOING to overcome them in the end! Only I can be allowed to OWN the Orange Ruby, and harness ALL the power within it! And when I do, I’ll become even stronger than my OWN Father, Master Vile! That is a victory that I can’t wait for!” Keller says: “Just make sure you send ME out, next time! I want to show those Rangers some of my OWN skills!” / Emperor Diabolica, is even madder than USUAL at the latest failure, as he is BLASTING his electrical energy CONSTANTLY at Kraky and Circe, and Emperor Diabolica screams: “FOOLS!!!! IDIOTS!!!! IMBECILES!!!!! I’m surrounded by a legion of LOSERS!!!! None of you can accomplish anything even REMOTELY competent!” Baphomet says: “And I am CERTAINLY inclined to AGREE!” Vipera scoffs, and asks: “Are you CRAZY?! He probably means you TOO; Baphomet!” Drako pleadingly says: “Settle DOWN, my Emperor! You’ll cause premature aging in your ageless body at THIS rate!” Emperor Diabolica sighs and says: “I have SUCH a headache!!!! It’s SO frustrating to see something that is SO close for you to obtain, and yet so FRUSTRATINGLY out of your REACH!!!!” Vipera sighs and says: “I quite agree, my lord.” Emperor Diabolica says: “We’ll, we’re not going to make ANY progress if we rest on our laurels! DRAKO!!!! I want you to start work on the NEXT Blood Beast, right NOW!!!!” Drako asks: “Already?!” Emperor Diabolica says: “That way, when it is time to attack the Rangers, the Blood Beast will be STRONGER than the USUAL Blood Beast, and it should be ready, to take the Orange Ruby for me, ONCE and for all!” Kraky sighs in pain and says: “I can HARDLY wait for that day!” Circe sighs in pain and says: “Me to, Kraky. Me, also!” / The six Rangers return to Ebony’s garage, and Ebony is pleasantly surprised to see her drum set, completely restored to its original state! Ebony says: “I sure wish MY magic skills worked THAT well!” Naruto says: “But you guys STILL need to figure out what you guys are going to sound like!” D.O.G., who is waiting for BlackHawk, starts wagging his tail, and D.O.G. says: “I have a suggestion!” Ebony says: “I’ve never taken advice from a dog before, but I’ll try anything legal at least ONCE!” D.O.G. asks: “You guys all want to play different music in this band, right? Well, why not pay TRIBUTE to someone who has played ALL different kinds of music throughout his career!” Toby asks: “Someone like that, actually EXISTED?!!!” / The scene cuts to the late evening night, of a Memorial Day celebration, out in the middle of a park, where a stage has been set up, with a bunch of sound and lighting equipment! Sans can be seen working as the Light Technician for this production! A FAMILIAR blond-haired, female woman, walks on-stage, and attracts the attention of Bash and Smash! Bash says: “Say! I think I’ve SEEN her somewhere before!” Smash says: “Her face IS familiar! Why am I getting these VIBES from her?!” The woman approaches the loud-speaker, and says: “I’m glad that I’ve been asked to be here. I traveled from VERY far away to be here! I am Kira Ford; here to promote the latest, and soon to be greatest musical act in rock and roll! I mean, other than me, of course! A rocking Weird Al Yankovic tribute band; I now present to you; The Dark, Shiny, Progressive, Arena, Oddball, Face, Lords of the Underworld!” Ebony asks: “We’re SERIOUSLY going with THAT?! And doing this?!” Lettuce says: “Hey! It’s not like it’s the WEIRDEST thing we’ve ever DONE together!” Usagi says: “True enough! Let’s DO this!” And the four Rangers start JAMMING to their version of a Weird Al Yankovic hit song, “Headline News!” / Lettuce sings: “Once, there was this kid who, took a trip to Singapore and brought along his spray paint. And when he finally came back, he had cane marks all over his bottom. He said that it was from when the warden whacked it so hard! Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. [Whip sound] Ah! Once there was this girl who, swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion. And when she finally made it, she saw some other girl who was better. [Ding sound] And so she hired some guy to club her in the kneecap. Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. [Thwack sound] Ah! Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. They got paid for their sound bites, and sold their TV movie rights. And then, there was this guy who, made his wife so mad one night that she cut off his weiner. And when he finally came to, he found that Mr. Happy was missing. He couldn't quite explain it; it'd always just been there! Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. Ah, ah. (There) ah, ah, (were), ah, ah, (there) ah, ah, (is). Ah, ah, (there), ah, ah, (were), ah, ah, (there) ah, ah, (is). Ah, ah, (there) ah, ah, (were), ah, ah, (there) ah, ah, (is). Ah, ah, (there) ah, ah, (were), ah, ah, (there) ah, ah, (is). There were, there is. There were, there is.” / And the epic song ends, as everyone applauds, including Kira Ford. However BlackHawk NOTICES her appearance there! BlackHawk thinks to himself: “I KNEW that woman looked familiar! She’s one of the Legendary Power Rangers, from the PAST!!!! What is SHE doing all the way here?! Certainly not just to enjoy this music performance! She must be here for an important reason; I just wish that I knew what it was!” / Episode Notes: With the exception of “Karaoke Knight,” this marks the most amount of songs EVER played in an episode of “Power Rangers.” In this case, they are Green Day’s version of “Holiday; Burning Down the House;” Puffy Ami Yumi’s version of “Girl’s Just Want to Have Fun; Follow You, Follow Me;” and “Headline News.” Ebony is revealed to like Punk Rock; Lettuce likes Post Punk; Usagi likes J-Pop; and Toby likes Classical Rock. Ebony, Lettuce, Usagi, and Toby form The Dark, Shiny, Progressive, Arena, Oddball, Face, Lords of the Underworld; the band name a mish-mash of ALL the possible band name ideas suggested by ALL four of the Rangers. They decide to become a Weird Al Yankovic tribute band, so that EACH of them can get a chance to play their own music while they are a band! First time that a PAST Legendary Power Ranger has been seen in this show, (in this case, Kira Ford from “Power Rangers Dino Thunder;”) and it WON’T be the last time a PAST Legendary Power Ranger will be seen on this show! Second appearance of Naruto’s Sabertooth Fox Mode! Vipera gets a NEW, STRONGER, and FASTER purple motorcycle in THIS episode, to replace the one that was previously destroyed by the Mega Racer! This episode contains elements of the abandoned “Power Rangers Multiverse Force”, PLANNED, episode, “Fire Fight,” which is mentioned by Alpha 8 in this episode. / Personal Notes: I want to personally thank Renegade the Unicorn, for his tireless help and advice. For without his knowledge, this episode wouldn’t have been possible, so he gets FULL co-writing credit for helping me bring this episode together! I also want to thank him for allowing me to use the abandoned plot of “Fire Fight,” for the second part of this episode; it really helped me create an exciting battle for the Power Rangers! / That’s my episode idea for today! Enough said, true believers!
Doubloons: $9,705


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