Hayden

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Hayden last won the day on September 27

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472 Abominable Snow Mollusk

About Hayden

  • Rank
    Customer
  • Birthday 08/01/1996

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    http://TV.com and MySpace

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  • Pronoun
    ssj4gogita4
  • Interests
    HA
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    Like I'd tell you

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  1. The Incredibles 2

    Good for you Jack Jack.
  2. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

    Everyone, let's go get a diagnosis!
  3. Ask the Kat

    https://www.spoilertv.com/2017/11/crazy-ex-girlfriend-episode-307-getting.html Why is Josh not in this title? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE PRECIOUS NAMING FORMULA, CEG?
  4. Rarest moment on SBC

    The only thing rarer than THAT is someone reading your works of fiction in FULL instead of SKIMMING them! Enough said!
  5. 2017 was the greatest year of television we've ever encountered. My 55 spot ranking will cover it in depth. (Unlike 2015, this is a year to actually get excited about, so it'll be finished).
  6. Ask the Kat

    I literally imagined and willed this exact announcement into coming today...... https://www.spoilertv.com/2017/11/youre-worst-renewed-for-5th-and-final.html Hopefully the twists and turns tonight propel the four leads into a spot where I can feel they'll be fully grown by the end of s5, or at least like people. S4 has felt both like a climax and a stalling game. Making me think it could've originally been the planned goal. FXX is clearly attached to it but if it went on the characters would just devolve further (to make it primary comedy before story). Will Jimmy/Gretchen resume engagement tonight? (If a wedding happens, I hope s5 ends on a parallel to s1 finale). Will Jimmy try out therapy? And will the show finally follow through on Lindsay/Edgar? Fall 2018, yo. CEG will probably end 2 short months after this does.
  7. Hollywood Sexual Misconduct Scandals

    Katniss, I don't like stupid people I like you Therefore you are not a stupid person
  8. 224a. Squid Noir

    I guess the Jellyfish that swam by the KK at the start were our clue, subtler than the three fake suspects set-up. Other than that, the beginning part was very standard anti-Clarinet shenanigans. But given Squidward ends up as an act at the Jellyfish Bar, it seems this was necessary to make us empathize with Squidward's woe so he can succeed later. Squidward as a stern detective was a role he was drawn for. He got to smack Spongebob around (and yay Patrick did too by end) and provide one-liners like these: "Only a family member could stomach putting their lips on this fool". (Grandma's Kisses reference reminds me they could bring his Grandma back easily). "I don't have friends, I have suspects". (Spongebob's friend you haven't cleared of charges response was better than his repetitive coin disappearance gag). "Mage of all things moronic, Bubble Bass". (Lame taste in figurines, but perfectly in-character selection for Bubble Bass hobby). Krabs getting the dame makeover was a classic bit of his employees giving him a much deserved go-around. I missed that kind of team dynamic from SB/Squid. Unlike multiple others, I didn't mind the rapid color change scene. It kind of gave Squidward restoring it back from black and white an extra pop. Grade: Give Us a Squid Noir Squeal!
  9. Hollywood Sexual Misconduct Scandals

    Still believe the Dan Schneider crap to just be people judging him based off physical appearance, the exposure would have happened by now with at least one actress. Happy to be proven wrong since I'm not going to say it's impossible for one of Nick's most powerful employees to have abused it in 20 years, but it feels like an internet lie that got out of control? Louis CK is as creepy and pathetic as his character was on the show. There were a lot of uncomfortable jokes on that which I should've taken as warning signs. I was always confused by its popularity but stuck with it to try and see what I wasn't catching. Literally why I almost never get invested in an actor/actress. All I care about is the character arc, the person underneath that character is just doing a job. I can maybe end up being drawn to their physical features, but I'm not going to feel a betrayal like I would from an individual I actually have to count on. There are too many entertainers out there to give a shit how many get their karma. The industry will still be able to make my shows and movies. Hopefully this huge string of firings will remind other assholes how goddamn replaceable they are in such a competitive field.
  10. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

    All I ever prayed for every day, was to resent my mother in a regular way!
  11. 224b. ScavengerPants

    The hunt is finally over. The hunt for a redeeming attempt at the end of this bring the color rainbow. (Hoping Squid Noir is a 5/5 deal tho). Nothing too sadistic happened to Squidward (How can a man stand it?) and SB/Pat had a few genuinely funny cartoon-y faces in the midst of their baby routine. The scavenger hunt extending to really far travels outside of Bikini Bottom did slightly remind me of the good old scavenging for crowns in Shell City days. That rock was really cool to give Patrick its spare rope. Other solid comedy bits: Squidstache, Boxing Begonia and Patrick holding it up as champ, "Six months later", Squidward making a mega house, the way SB/Pat say "Brothers". Speaking of that, I predicted the joke to be them finding a long lost brother just because that's usually how the world reacts to Squidward's little white lies. Good swerve and well worth it for that adorable framed family portrait.
  12. 225a. Cuddle E. Hugs

    Wasn't fond of Spongebob's characterization. Not just because he had a psychotic break either. Maybe I would've preferred a different thing to trigger the hallucinations, and for Cuddle E. to not be a total creep. What could've been a fun thing like Bubble Buddy just got really disturbing, and also too childish. This is by far the worst consecutive run of Spongebob episodes in years. This week is not bringing the color, instead it's draining all the color out of me. Deplorable. Grade: E for Empty (on ideas)
  13. 218b. There's a Sponge in My Soup

    Soup. Hippies. Awful when separate. But when they combine they make....a stupid, mediocre, and aimless episode of Spongebob. It was just 11 minutes of lazy stereotyping. The soup diving is what elevated it to a cringy nightmare though. Was Kaz high or was he just testing Nickelodeon's standards? The worst problem I have is that nobody was likeable in this. Krabs was trying to poison customers and I wanted the hippies to be set on fire. Maybe that'd be enough heat. Spongebob's heel turn comes out of left field and seems like another excuse to pad time since Krabs suddenly thinks of a solution right after the nonexistent shut-down crisis. Which brings us to Squidward's privacy continually being taken from him. 3 episodes in a row now not about Squidward, but he's the end punchline in two of them. Final Grade: Cold pool of sweaty soup.
  14. 221b. Stuck on the Roof

    If I never see Spongebob twerking to dubstep again, it'll be too soon. Don't FOP or PPG yourself by trying to relate to youth through that. I think if the ladder got knocked over/destroyed it would make this premise more believable. Very convenient materials tossed in that dumpster I must say. His hand puppet shadows being able to touch things was just the writers trying to find a way around him not being able to ruin Squidward's night. Lazy. Spongebob really should've looked into a construction job before Help Wanted. RIP Squidward, who suffocated in that sand. I'll go against the grain (haha sand pun) and say this wasn't as good as No Pictures, Please. Final Grade: We've been roofied
  15. 221a. No Pictures, Please

    Yeah 4Ever, Plankton getting stomped on, zany coincidence. Clearly more strange than the end of this episode since the series never has established the Plankton getting squished gag. Check your house for spy cameras. Oh nevermind, you've probably already been chipped. I should've known The Tidal Zone beginning was a set-up but Patrick finding a fellow idiot didn't seem that unusual. Take out that referential gimmick and what do you really have the other 10 minutes? We don't need to be introduced to every SB character like the tourist was. Fish skeleton cemetery was right idea, but too little too late. "If you look to your left, you'll miss everything on your right" was the only Tour Guide Patrick moment I liked. Oh, and him "having a key" to the dome. Spongebob's warning at the end smash cutting to an instant enormous mob also got a chuckle. Patrick lucked out that Mr. Amazing scared off the retribution coming for him. Final Grade: Backing away
Doubloons: $572,659


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