And now, the time has finally come after 8 years. The end of Skodwarde...late at night. I've decided to post the last three episodes of the series together as a tv movie of sorts, since the first two are connected to the finale. Don't forget about Hayden's episode above as well. Enjoy!
225a. Bubble Buddy III: Game of Bubbles
(Written by jjs)
One day, while working at the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob gets word from the (fake) news about a new town that has formed faraway from Bikini Bottom, called Bubblefell (wow original Game of Thrones reference amirite). His old pal Bubble Buddy has set up his own city where bubble people live in harmony. However, Bubblefell announces it has banned Patrick Star from setting any foot in there due to the events of “Bubble Buddy II: Back in Black”, where Patrick (under Pathulu’s possession) humiliated Bubble Buddy by making him eat shit and tried to hurt his son Shinya. And we had to remind you of that because it’s been 4 years and a good majority of you don’t even remember that anymore, ar ar ar! SpongeBob is confused by this, since he was never in the loop about what happened during that ordeal, so he confronts Patrick about this. Patrick takes a few seconds to remember, but then realizes this is when Pathulu was controlling him to do evil shit. SpongeBob says they should head over to Bubblefell to apologize and get on Bubble Buddy’s good side again, cause SpongeBob is the love sponge and doesn’t want any negative vibes up in here, man. Skodwarde’s attention is finally caught when the news talks about how Bubble Buddy’s clan has partnered with Skolliam, who has generously donated them much money to help build their empire. Skolliam brags about how he has more money than Skodwarde and makes a better ally to Bubblefell than him. This makes Skodwarde furious, realizing Skolliam is trying to manipulate Bubble Buddy’s bubble clan with his greasy tentacles for only one purpose: so he can have an army for war. This is what Skolliam’s lil shady subplot has been building up to all season, so he wants to come with SpongeBob and Patrick, regrettably, to help them get Bubble Buddy off of Team Skolliam. Before they embark on their adventure, Mr. Krabs asks them what happened to Scott out of curiosity, realizing he hasn’t seen him all week. SpongeBob tells him that Scott turned out to be a spy for Skolliam and died during the shenanigans in “Bad Times at Scrapped Dimension”. Krabs admits he was never keen on adding him to the cast anyways, and is glad that jackass is dead. Skodwarde notes that Krabs and Plankton technically died in that void, but thanks to the power of bullshit and god powers, both are back to life as well. Krabs looks at Skodwarde like he’s high, not remembering any of this, and tells him to get back to work, Mr. Skodwarde. Between Gary's temporary death (which Skodwarde informed SpongeBob about off-screen to really get that anger going towards Skolliam), Scott's death, and Krabs and Plankton's fakeout deaths, SpongeBob realizes the show sure is killing people off like it really is Game of Thrones...which worries him for a bit for how it will end, but he laughs it off!
After a nautical nonsensical journey, Skodwarde, SpongeBob and Patrick make their way to Bubblefell, seeing the glorious bubble city before them. The bubble people are living their way of life like any normal people would, except a lot more sophisticated than the sex and drug riddled Bikini Bottom. Which is kind of telling on fish society rn if bubbles are the more sophisticated ones. The Three Stooges decide to enter, and Skodwarde knows this is a bad idea. The bubble people then stop dead in their tracks when they see Patrick casually walking alongside them, knowing he is forbidden. Before the bubble people can crucify Patrick on a cross and cancel him however, SpongeBob tells them to STOP! SpongeBob says they come in peace and want to make amends with Bubble Buddy, saying he is his creator and should deserve to speak with him. Bubble Buddy comes forward with his son Shinya, surprised to see SpongeBob, but kind of not happy to see Patrick, obviously. SpongeBob tells him the wishes to speak to him, and that Patrick will do no harm. Bubble Buddy agrees to speak, and escorts them to his bubble castle. Skolliam is seen watching the events transpire from a bubble building above, and laughs, knowing everything is going according to his brilliantly concocted plan. He then fades into the shadows like an evil cartoon villain would and keeps laughing.
The Three Stooges enter Bubble Buddy’s fancy castle, and are impressed by its size and design. Bubble Buddy offers them some drinks, as his bubble guards give them soap. SpongeBob and Patrick happily drink it. SpongeBob then explains to Bubble Buddy that Patrick was under the influence of an evil demon named Pathulu, who has been taken care of and Patrick is clean now. Patrick says it’s true, and that he is very sorry for making him eat shit in front of his son. Bubble Buddy normally would think this is bullshit coming from anyone else, but it’s coming from SpongeBob, so he believes him and forgives Patrick. Skodwarde also reveals to Bubble Buddy that he has been duped, tricked, smeckledorfed, etc, because Skolliam is an asshole only using his clan for his own gain and is not who he claims to be. Bubble Buddy refuses to believe that though, because Skolliam was very nice to him and gave him many resources, along with his own security team. The so-called “security team” reveal themselves to be Skolliam’s Legion of Doom, consisting of: Kevin (HEY EVERYBODY, KEVIN’S BACK!), Dirty Bubble, Mussell Airhead and Killer Moth. All four were hired by Skolliam as “protection” for Bubblefell, but Kevin reveals in actuality they were hired to kill SpongeBob, Patrick, Skodwarde AND Bubble Buddy so Skolliam could eventually takeover the city and control the bubble people for himself. Kevin then realizes he probably shouldn’t have said that out loud. Bubble Buddy is pissed, realizing he really HAS been smeckledorfed and Skodwarde gives him a “I told you so” look. Bubble Buddy says he will expel them from his city and the team charges at the Legion. Several bubble guards try to apprehend them, but they get popped, angering Bubble Buddy. SpongeBob unleashes his kah-rah-tay moves on Killer Moth and the Dirty Bubble. In the midst of the shitstorm, Patrick gets sent flying at the Dirty Bubble, popping him (POP THE BUBBLE!) with his pointy head, and killing him for legit real. Bubble Buddy cuts off Mussell Airhead’s head with a bubble sword. Skodwarde finishes by killing both Kevin and Killer Moth with his god powers. “Ah, the deed is done.” Skodwarde said to himself contently, smiling at their dead corpses, rotting on the ground. A bubble janitor comes by and cleans up the ugly mess. Bubble Buddy thanks them for saving his city and will think better next time about trusting random people. Skolliam was watching the events through a security camera, and sits back. While disappointed he was unable to control Bubblefell, he is not deterred by the slaughter of his legion, as he only used them as fodder distractions and the Kevin guy was a “pain in his ass” anyways. He then sets his sights on the rest of Skod’s allies, wanting to target someone else this time after killing Gary failed thanks to time shenanigans. He takes particular interest in the three female characters: Sandy, Puff Mama and Karen, which is a devious cliffhanger to lead into the penultimate episode coming next. SpongeBob and Patrick are happy that they’ve patched up things with Bubble Buddy and his clan, as they smoke up some bubbles to make the bubble folk happy, and Bubble Buddy laughs, all jolly to be on good terms with ‘em again. Skodwarde doesn’t celebrate though, because he makes one thing clear to SpongeBob and Patrick: War is coming.
Meanwhile, beneath the gooey mess the city was built upon, the ominous force that is the “Clusterfuck” begins to fester, as everything is coming into alignment for the endgame…
225b. Girls Night Scissoring
(Written by @Cha )
The episode starts as Sandy does some quirky scientist stuff and then out of the blue calls Karen despite never have established a friendship before. Meanwhile, Plankton is having a bitch attack in the background, claiming that someone stole his self torturing device with knife and screwdriver actions. She invites the Puff Mama, the city’s most well known lesbian bad bitch. While the ladies go out, Skolliam watches them from afar like a creepy stalker, and gets his groove on. He plans to woe the ladies onto his side for his upcoming war, because he’s horny af for some action. Or maybe he'll just kill them like a raging incel. Skodwarde and him agreed for their war tomorrow, so this would be the last night Skolliam gets for some old classic fucking around fun. After a night’s worth of women power and steamy powerful women love, the women finally decide to circumsion Plankton but found out his most powerful dream was to finally get rid of that flappy foreskin that was cursed upon his penis. They do the same with SpongeBob but he cries out in a delightful orgasm and thanks the ladies for giving him the soft touch of consensual love he’s always craved his entire life. Afterwards, the ladies all sigh because as much as they wanted to afflict physical pain to innocent victims, what they really needed was to cause it to the most baddest bitch under the sea. They ponder amongst themselves on who the baddest bitch in the sea is, until Skolliam appears before them. He introduces himself fancily as Skolliam T. Finessebitch III, finally revealing his full name before the show ends. He offers them to join his army for the upcoming God War, but the women just wanna have a nice night out before the show ends since they have never interacted before. SpongeBob and Skodwarde both make it to the scene, trying to stop Skolliam from doing his next dastardly deed. Skolliam tries to tickle the women’s fancies by showing off his features, but they are not falling for his tricks, so they agree he is the one who must be targeted next. Before they have a chance to do so though, Skolliam kills the three women with his god powers right there, accepting the three will not be turned. “I need romantic passion of someone who cares for me, platonically and a deep friendship of said individual.” Skodwarde and SpongeBob stand there shook that he went there. As Skolliam converts to the West Baptist Church to find his inner spiritual and morally clean future with pastor Nathan Phelps (who he later kills and uses the church's power to help him for the war), the girls decide to relax in hell as the funny sitcom credits role. Skodwarde, annoyed that Skolliam has killed off more cast members too soon, brings Sandy, Puff Mama, and Karen back to life, and decides to get it on their lil fun. The women accept as a favor for saving them, and the four have a nice jacuzzi party. SpongeBob also pops in cause why not. Unfortunately, Skodwarde cannot quite relax as he knows one thing is coming: the God War. But he decides to spend a chill last night with his lady friends while it lasts, embracing the possibility things may never be the same again after tonight…
226. It’s a Wonderful Skod!
(Written by jjs for part 1 and @Old Man Jenkins for part 2)
Patchy the Butt Pirate and Potty are seen doing what those two knuckleheads do best: being annoying fucks in their last cameos ever, since it wouldn’t be the Skodwarde finale without ‘em! After some nautical nonsense and whacky bullshit hijinks involving pirate booty, sexy pirates, fireworks, a car chase, and other crap I don’t even know what to write, do you people really want more Patchy by this point? Patchy hastily makes it home and turns on his very ancient television, saying that he thankfully made it back just in time for the Skodwarde series finale! Patchy tells Potty that this will be the biggest clusterfuck of a series finale Bikini Bottom has ever seen, so strap in ( ) and prepare for a wild ride…
One day, and for what may be the final day in Skodwarde history, it is…not happy at all. Bikini Bottom is preparing for a war. There’s a grim, gloomy atmosphere over the city, as Skodwarde and Skolliam are about to have the biggest, bloodiest and most brutal god war history has ever seen: The Great God War. This war will answer two of the spin-off’s biggest questions: who the better god is, and who is truly better in bed. This shit’s gonna make any Game of Thrones battle look like a baby shower, I tells ya. Skodwarde has gathered his forces outside Downtown Bikini Bottom, where their battle camps are all set up. His forces consist of: SpongeBob, Patrick, Gary (who is ready for payback), Sandy, Mr. Krabs (in Armor Ass Krabs mode), Plankton, Karen and Prick in a reluctant alliance, Puff Mama (regrettably), Fred, Larry, Pole, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy (in non-speaking cameos), members of the Nazi Squid Cult, Skoddy Skoddy (who decided to make a quick vacation break to help out Skodwarde) and JCM in a surprise last time cameo. SpongeBob asks Skodwarde if The Great God War has really an endgame the spin-off had been building up to before this last season. Skodwarde responds by slapping SpongeBob, telling him of course they never had an endgame plan, it’s Skodwarde of all spin-offs, silly! But then, this makes Slodwarde have a deep philosophical reflection. Was his only purpose in this whole universe to star in a naughty parody of a children’s cartoon that would somehow culminate him into fighting Skolliam? Had he been wasting these past 8 years away for something seemingly meaningless? He thinks back to all the past shenanigans he revisited from “Scrapped Dimension” and realizes his world could be coming to an end, and that it’s all gone before you know it (kind of like the ending of The Sopranos), thus lowkey worrying him about how he’ll make it out of this battle. SpongeBob then realizes the first movie supposed to be the finale (lmao who the hell knows anymore), but Skodwarde shrugs, saying even he and Dickelodeon don’t know the continuity of it anymore. Mr. Krabs says that this finale better be Breaking Bad or The Sopranos quality and says to Skodwarde that if he pulls a Dexter, Game of Thrones or Lost, he wants his money (and coke) back. Skodwarde tells him that of course this finale will piss people off, people haven’t been pleased with the direction of this show since Season 4 ar ar ar! (it’s not a Skodwarde finale without yet another gag mocking post-movie). That’s enough fourth wall breaking for now kids, let’s see what Skolliam is up to!
Skolliam is seen in his large, bloated, fancy mansion house. He is happily relaxing in a hot tub with his prostitutes, pleasuring them with his tentacles and doing all sorts of wild drugs together. While Skodwarde and SpongeBob may have foiled (or soiled) his attempted assassination of Gary, fucked up his Scrapped Dimension plans, resulting in the death of his inside man Scott, bested his fodder legion, and interfered with his scheme to woe Puff Mama, Karen and Sandy, he is not deterred, explaining those were just mere warm-ups to prepare his true power for today’s events. He flexes and shows off his expensive golden battle weapons all ready for war. He says today will finally prove once and for all to the world that he is better than Skodwarde at god powers and in bed. He then goes on a philosophical monologue about how he’s hated being pushed aside forever now and how Skodwarde gets the spotlight. He even points out how Squilliam never appears in the show they are parodying anymore, showing the universe is clearly against every counterpart of him. He will no longer eat shit nor get the short end of the stick, because today will be his day. Skolliam then breaks out into a musical number, but suddenly, it gets cut short by the doorbell. Skolliam is furious by this, and puts on a bathrobe, approaching the door. He opens it to see the God of Supremacy Orange Cop with the Funky Cops and other coppers, looking like they are ready to bust him. The prostitutes hide, as the God of Supremacy Orange Cop explains Skolliam is under arrest for trying to start a catastrophic war, and it is his job to keep balance. He also says Skolliam’s “genius” is exposed, as Skolliam looks down to see his robe is exposing his dick. The God of Supremacy Orange Cop then slaps Skolliam with a ticket for public nudity, finally making him reach his boiling point. Skolliam actives batshit mode and pulls a Tony Montana, taking out his golden machine gun. He opens fire on all of the police officers, gunning them down and killing the God of Supremacy Orange Cop, for legit serious real (!). The Funky Cops manage to luckily escape, as they hightail it out of there, deciding to retire from the force knowing their outdated cameos can only go so far. Skolliam brags that he is above the law and nobody EVER will interrupt his pompous bragging songs. He keeps shooting his machine gun into the air like a fucking madman, saying once he’s done fucking Skodwarde, he’s gonna fuck the sky, fuck the whole world, and reshape it into his perfect world. He’s even going to fuck the writers of this finale! He heads back inside, takes off his bathrobe, and puts on his special golden battle armor, ready to fight. Before he leaves, he pleasures his prostitutes with his tentacles one last time. He tells them he will bring them back Skodwarde’s head, and tosses some more drugs at them to play with. He then heads off to the agreed warring point, and continues singing his song that was rudely interrupted.
Meanwhile, in Bubblefell, Bubble Buddy notices the ground is moving weirdly, and he knows he’s not high. The Clusterfuck is slowly beginning to awaken due to the tides of war. Its presence begins to cause tremors across Bubblefell, popping several bubble homes in the city and killing multiple bubbles civilians. Bubble Buddy evacuates the residents and his son Shinya, getting them the fuck out of there. At the battlefield, Skolliam strolls up casually, all by himself. He looks onward at Team Skodwarde and laughs, saying he can take on all of them while blindfolded. Sandy asks Skolliam where his mighty army is, and Skolliam scoffs this off, saying he is a one man show, needing no army. Skodwarde yells for the Avengers-er, Team Skodwarde, to assemble! Skodwarde sounds the war horn. He divides up the allies into three squads, making them surround Skolliam, while Skodwarde, SpongeBob and Patrick stand into middle, like, Cap, Thor and Iron Man in Endgame. The squads all starts bombarding Skolliam at once, throwing every attack, sex related object, innuendo, pop culture reference and episode callback they can at him. Skolliam walks out of this unscathed and laughs, ready to fuck shit up. Skolliam begins wrecking everyone like Thanos, showing no mercy or shits. He sends the allies flying all over the battlefield and makes them flop like fish. Gary jumps at Skolliam and begins to maul his face like a savage, pretty damn pissed he killed him and all that. Skolliam then swats him off, saying he always hated snails. Patrick throws multitude of condoms, dildos, porn magazines and other crap at Skolliam, which he incinerates with pew pew lasers from his eyes. Sandy then jumps at Skolliam from behind like ninja Arya Stark, wanting to put the HI-YAH-K up Skolliam’s ass, as she unleashes her kah-rah-tay moves. Skolliam taps into his inner Jackie Chan and releases his own moves back, whooping Sandy’s ass and sending her flying. Skoddy Skoddy then does his own sneak attack and hits Skolliam in the nuts with his club. Skodwarde is proud of his caveman ancestor, but Skolliam impales Skoddy Skoddy with a sword, killing him, shocking the team. There’s our second casualty of the finale. Skodwarde is actually kind of saddened by this surprisingly, honored Skoddy went out for him. He says Skoddy’s sacrifice will never be forgotten and seeing how desperate the situation is becoming, decides it is time for a powerhouse. Skodwarde, SpongeBob and Patrick then activate their Power Rangers morphers, summoning their big ass Power Rangers mech. (as seen in “The Clash of Tritawn!” and “Attack of the Shit That Came From Goo Lagoon!”) The mech runs on autopilot and starts firing pew pew lasers at Skolliam, who expertly maneuvers them with the most erotic dance moves. The mech tries to step on him, but Skolliam goes Super Saiyan and stops the foot, holding onto it. Skolliam pushes the foot upward, and makes the mech lose its balance, causing it to have a mighty fall. Skolliam then quickly delivers a final blow to the mech, making it fall to pieces. Skodwarde, SpongeBob and Patrick cry in agony at its loss, because they truly loved that mech they only used once in a blue moon! This loss does not deter them, as Team Skodwarde regroups to reorganize their strategy, whole Skolliam pleasures himself to taunt them.
Skodwarde begins to think of new battle tactics to take that son of a bitch down. However, Plankton chimes in by saying he’s getting tired of this clownery and has his own quick solution to end Skolliam. He proposes to use his mind control device that he attempted on Squidward in “Scrapped Dimension”. Mr. Krabs wishes he had proposed this sooner, but Plankton says he just likes to watch the world burn. He activates the device, sending the miniature figures into Skolliam’s mind, as he feels like he’s getting a mindfuck and begins to spasm. Unfortunately, the plan backfires horribly when Skolliam hatches a genius idea. Skolliam uses his god powers to hijack the device and take the miniature little shits out of his head. He places them all inside of Skodwarde’s allies, and orders them to kill Skodwarde, SpongeBob, and Gary who are the only three unaffected. The allies all begin to dogpile the two, as they keep jumping into one large pile and forming clusterfuck over them. Skolliam then prepares a supercharge blast to annihilate everyone right then and there now that they are in one place (hardcore shit). Skodwarde and SpongeBob struggle to make their way out of the mind controlled team pile, and it is here that Skodwarde realizes damn son, he underestimated Skolliam and that he may be a wee too overpowered. He hopes either jjs and/or OMJ will pull a rabbit out of their hat for him on this one, and so I shall oblige. Skodwarde then remembers hey, his Pimp God Boat exists, so he summons that, making it go flying at Skolliam. Skolliam dodges and it laughs, but then Skodwarde smirks, realizing that was his own lil distraction. Gary then jumps at Skolliam and begins mauling the fuck out of him again, and smashes the mind control device into pieces. The mind controlled allies are turned back to normal, wondering what the hell just penetrated their minds, as they stand back up. SpongeBob is proud of Gary for his heroic deed and gives him a treat. Skodwarde then realizes how powerful his rival is, and in a rare bit of Skodwarde giving a shit about others for once in his life, doesn’t want his team to die by his greasy tentacles. Skodwarde yells at Skolliam, telling them it’s time they settle this fight like real men. Skolliam concurs, saying this has gone on long enough and he’s bored now. Skodwarde and Skolliam both charge up their god powers, preparing ultimate attacks (and since this is the finale, don’t worry, it won’t take 5 episodes like in DBZ). Skodwarde tells his team to stand back a hell of a lot, as he finishes charging. Skodwarde and Skolliam both launch themselves at each other (hehe). They have a fatal clash, causing a giant anime-esque explosion across the battlefield. Everyone looks in awe. The two awake on the battlefield, with both fatally wounded, but get up, still fighting. Before either of them can lay another tentacle on another however, Bubble Buddy and his survivors run into the area, cockblocking them. Bubble Buddy is panicking, telling them they are all doomed. Skodwarde looks at him like he’s high, confused by what he’s babbling about. SpongeBob says that “babble like an idiot” wasn’t on the agenda for today, double checking it. As everyone tries to understand what the bubble clan is trying to say, suddenly…
BOOM!!! A giant bubbly, black explosion resembling a mushroom cloud is seen from Bubblefell. Everyone stops fighting and looks at it, wondering what the actual fuck that is. The Clusterfuck has awoken from Bubblefell, and is going to destroy everything Skodwarde (and Skolliam, I guess) has ever loved, as it begins to make the universe fall apart around it. It slowly moves toward Bikini Bottom. The Clusterfuck is coming.
With The Clusterfuck incoming, Skodwarde orders his team to ready themselves as it makes its dynamic entry. The Clusterfuck's influence spreads all throughout the world from the Bubblefell like a geyser, absorbing everything in its path into the catastrophically large cluster of its combined fucks. Not even Encino, California is spared from the unfortunate fate as it becomes a lost city once again, lost in a sea of endless fucks. Patchy's neighbor, Mrs. Johnson, is the first to be painfully swept away into the Clusterfuck. Patchy and Potty futilely try to brave the sea of fucks by getting on their handy dandy row boat, but waves of fucks swells in and proceeds to rock their boat in clusters. Patchy urges Potty to fly away, throwing her into the air himself as their boat capsizes with him in it. He cries in pain as his body dissolves into the clusterfuck like acid. With his last breath, Patchy tells Potty that he regrets playing with her like a puppet, and that he should've just fucked her when the chances presented itself. Potty had no time to mourn the death of her closest on/off companion as she had to immediately take flight to get herself away from The Clusterfuck, however, a white gooey clustery hand of fucks reaches out from the sea and grabs her as she soars away in midair, pulling itself back down into The Clusterfuck with Potty still firmly in its grasp. Good riddance, amirite?
Skodwarde uses his god powers to try and contain this Clusterfuck, but it proves to be far beyond his power (a recurring theme this season). SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy and Mr. Krabs each tap into their own individual god powers to assist Skodwarde, but their combined might is barely even enough to make a dent in stopping this monstrosity (another recurring theme for this season). Bikini Bottom quickly becomes overwhelmed by The Clusterfuck as well, all of its residents being forcefully, painfully absorbed into the large cluster of its combined fucks. Screams of agony echoes not just throughout the whole world, but the entire universe. Live-Action Asylum Escapee Santa is also swept away on on the moon (which is still under construction by his midgets dressed as elves). Realizing that they'll need much more god power to combat this thing, Skodwarde sucks up his pride and appeals to Skolliam for his help. But this is exactly what Skolliam has been wanting this entire season; a cruel, agonizing end to Skodwarde. Skolliam leads their new Clusterfuck overlord in the anthem of deletion until he's splashed in the crotch by a small cluster of fucks that dissolves away his thick and valuable pubic hair upon contact. Everyone has a good, hearty laugh at this turn of cruel irony all at Skolliam's expense. Skolliam explodes in anger, wanting Skodwarde to finally admit that Skolliam is indeed better in bed than he is in order attain his services. Skodwarde isn't willing to concede to those demands until things really start to go to shit, forcing himself to finally admit that Skolliam IS better in bed at the very last second.
Skolliam joins Team Skodwarde in the assault on Precinct Clusterfuck (one more dank reference before the end!). Skodwarde realizes that this very damn well could be his last stand, as well as his last chance to get all his shit in, so he looks back on events throughout the entire series that has led him to this exact moment. The words Lady Skoga imparted onto him in "Scrapped Dimension" rings heavily in his mind, confirming that their growth and experiences in the Scrapped Dimension didn't end up getting scrapped in the end. Ready to finally shine his holy light into the darkness, Skodwarde wrestles control of the team from Skolliam long enough to take charge once again in order to finally lead this world to a better place when the dust settles.
Everyone powers up to the zenith of their godly power, finally being enough to bring The Clusterfuck to task. However, they all kinda forget that The Clusterfuck absorbs everything upon contact, allowing it to gobble up everyone (with Skolliam being the first to go). All that's left are Skodwarde, SpongeBob, Sandy and The Worm Plankton. Plankton takes the time to note just how much "this fucking stinks" before harakiri'ing himself by lying flat on his back for The Clusterfuck to finish off. The Bubble Clan shows that they're something to Clusterfuck with when they, too, are unceremoniously absorbed into it. SpongeBob cries like a little punk ass bitch while Sandy makes one last call to her former flame, Frenchy, to see if he can deus ex their asses out of this situation, however, the Clusterfuck grabs hold of her tail amidst being put on hold. Skodwarde and SpongeBob try to save her from its clutches, but it's no use as it spreads more and more over her body, completely dissolving away her plot armor. Frenchy finally picks up right at the end of her life, allowing her to get an SOS over to him before she could profess her undying love for the narrator. As her undying love dies right in his ear, Frenchy beams down to Bikini Bottom like almighty God, himself. With a capital g.
Frenchy asks what the hell's happened since he last appeared on the show and Skodwarde informs him that he won't even get halfway through "Scrapped Dimension". Frenchy berates Skodwarde and Skolliam for letting things get this fucking bad between them. He reveals that they were always his favorite specimens to study and narrate for, but that this latest pissing match between the two is exactly why he barely pops up in these episodes anymore. At his wit's end, and in a moment that finally acknowledges that Frenchy is indeed the most powerful being in the Skodwarde universe, Skodwarde prays to Frenchy for his help in ensuring a happy ending to his show. He tells Frenchy that he's learned his lessons, undergone the proper character development, even finally admitted to himself that Skolliam is better in bed than he is (I want you all to remember that as the biggest thing to take away from this spinoff). Skodwarde begs Frenchy for a miracle, anything!
Using his god powers, Frenchy conjures a door into existence, dropping it right behind Skodwarde and SpongeBob. Frenchy narrates that it is a "backdoor", one that shall take the core and foundations of this world and re-establish them in another with an entirely clean slate, all without the risk of a rampant Clusterfuck fucking their shit up this time around. SpongeBob notes how that kind of sounds like a "reboot", but Frenchy corrects him, narrating that it's more in line with a "spinoff that'll more than likely retcon most everything you know up to this point". Skodwarde asks if that's their only option. Frenchy says that it is. Skodwarde thinks things over a bit before finally deciding to go along with it. SpongeBob asks Frenchy why he cant just save their tailfins with a snap of his fingers if he is so powerful. Frenchy informs them that this entire universe is beyond repair thanks to The Clusterfuck, that it's best to start off fresh. SpongeBob seems vehemently against this, but before he can voice his opinion, The Clusterfuck attacks and lays siege upon them. Skodwarde uses every last ounce of his god powers to hold The Clusterfuck at bay, urging SpongeBob to step through the backdoor himself and spin them off to a much better place. SpongeBob refuses, saying that they're in a much better place right now.
Skodwarde tells SpongeBob not to get sentimental now, of all times. SpongeBob reminds him of all the character development they had undergone just this past season alone and how they've all come to peace with how the series must end. They can't keep doing this same old shit forever, they've all earned a dignified end to their stories, not to have all their stories be thrown away as if none of it ever happened. Frenchy narrates to SpongeBob that this could bring all his loved ones back to life. SpongeBob asserts himself and rebuffs that he would rather have seen them die for something rather than live for nothing. Unamused, Skodwarde quickly stops putting forth effort into his last stand. The Clusterfuck immediately stops attacking, seemingly frozen in place. Skodwarde says that this isn't how the story is supposed to end. The gathering storm, the growth, the final boss battle, the sacrifice that must be made to guarantee a bittersweet happy ending. Skodwarde yells that this shit is what good stories are made of. SpongeBob concurs, but says that their story should end here. Skodwarde corrects SpongeBob, saying that "this is MY story, not ours." Using his god powers, Skodwarde causes The Clusterfuck to break away into dust. Confuzzled, SpongeBob turns to Frenchy, who also fades away like dust in the wind. SpongeBob checks to see how jjs and OMJ are gonna explain this one, but there is only dust where they once wrote. SpongeBob slowly comes to the realization that he may have forgotten to feed Gary before marching him to war and, even more importantly, that something is very amiss.
Then, it hit SpongeBob like the god fist to his face just now. SpongeBob is sent back first into the closed backdoor. SpongeBob comes to the conclusion that everything; Skolliam, the God War, The Clusterfuck, absolutely everything up til this point was meticulously orchestrated by Skodwarde. He was in complete control throughout the entirety of these last 8 years, and they all played their parts right down to the letter. Skodwarde insults SpongeBob, riffing on how anyone could possibly think that a french narrator or a bunch of virgins on a SpongeBob forum could have any power over him. This revelation and thought that all his loved ones died for nothing pushes SpongeBob over the edge, causing him to tap into the latent power of both his Ultra Bullshit and Ultra Badass simultaneously, becoming a true master class in character development. The newly Perfected SpongeBob charges up to engage Skodwarde in god battle, but Skodwarde uses his god powers to undo all 8 years of those developments with a mere snap of his suction cups.
"Fine, is that the way you want it?" Skodwarde asks, wiping his hands clean. "Story's over. Welcome to the end."
SpongeBob collapses to the ground, his mind is absolutely emptied of everything and he's left completely powerless to do anything. He greets Skodwarde with his vintage carefree attitude as the backdoor swings open, causing a great green light to flood out. Skodwarde vanishes from sight as the world begins to crumble all around SpongeBob. And so for the last time ever, after some nautical nonsense involving god powers, the end of the fucking world and SpongeBob running around in fear, trying to seek shelter in familiar place after familiar place, all of which inevitably fall one after the other, the backdoor begins to suck everything in like vacuum. SpongeBob is the last to be drawn toward the open door, but he ain't going in without a fight, holding onto the door's hinges with all his might long enough for the door to shut right in his face, as well as his fingers.
(Backdoor Pilot) Koncentration Kamp Koral: Help Needed
One day, Koncentration Kamp Kounselor Skodwarde subjects his prisoners to the worst punishment of all; being animated in CG. But he concludes that even this isn't punishment enough, so he goes ahead and decides to execute all the prisoners in his stead, which is pretty much every other character on the show. Using his god powers, he throws them all in the gas chamber. Koncentration Kamp Kounselor Skodwarde proceeds to spend the rest of his day killing them all to the tunes of "Living in the Sunlight" by Tiny Tim.
Special thanks to everyone who read and helped contribute to Skodwarde over the years. There's no doubt it left a legacy on this spin-off section, and I was honored to have ran it for the remainder of its run. Though I don't deserve the credit, as that goes to OMJ for bringing it into this world to begin with. I also extend thanks to the multiple writers that were involved across its run who helped add their own visions and voices to this. The group aspect of this spin-off was what made it so fun for many. While I know it may be sad to end it with so many new episodes of SpongeBob we could adapt, and its own upcoming spin-offs, there's a multitude of factors that led to OMJ and I both agreeing that this needed to end on its own terms. Unlike its counterpart, we can't keep milking the god forever. Sadly, we highly doubt at this moment there will be any Skod content for the foreseeable future, so this is very likely the last piece of Skodwarde content you're getting for now. The memories of this spin-off will last forever and I'll never forget it.
See ya in another life, brother.