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Showing content with the highest reputation since 01/18/2020 in all areas

  1. 23 points
    10 years. 10 years on this community. I’m not alone to have this kind of milestone celebration, but I know we’d feel the same way. What a long time it has been. I never even actually planned for my time on SBC to end up lasting this long until I came into terms with the fact that I’ve become so attached to this website. I’ve been meaning to make it my goal this year that I get a lot of things done; my life on the internet and my own real life. I might have said this for every other year, but knowing that I’m going to be 25 later on, I have to make it happen. Time will only tell when I’ll stop being a regular member on SBC. I’m glad enough that I’ve stayed long enough to celebrate this milestone along with a few other longtime members. The best way for me to celebrate this occasion is with something that I’ve been meaning to do for a long time, something in which I haven’t done since a long time too. For all those that I’ve gotten to know very well, I have some of my own words to share. So without further ado, here are some shoutouts. My official anniversary isn’t for another two days but since I feel like some others will celebrate with these, I’m posting these earlier so anyone else can have their own time to celebrate: @4EverGreen: I never thought I’d start with you, but here I am. I appreciate how very well you stick your guns and keep your composure even after the many times someone like Hayden would make a wisecrack about you. Although I was also somewhat like that during my earlier years, I knew to stop when I started came to terms with the person that you tend you be ages ago, while I’ll still make an occasional wisecrack whenever you make one about you-know-what-singer-you-hate-to-death. Other than that, I appreciate how dedicated you are with your own writing. While I have only recently read bits and pieces of your recent work, I also must say that I like how you have a style like no one else has. Just keeping doing you. Enough said true believer. @70s: The eponymous former site leader during SBC’s early days. We’ve had our strives and I’ve endured drama on your part, same with tvguy, but even back then, I’ve appreciated the time you’ve taken yourself to be a valuable member. IIRC, you were one of the first few members of tv.com’s SpongeBob community to give me feedback from when I started my spin-off writing career. I remember it very well being negative, but it still serves as a reminder of how much better I’ve gotten in writing from in that span of time. Heck, since discovering your Bikini Top spin-off, though it has still aged gracelessly, I was committed to become the serial spin-off story writer that I’ve been for a long time thanks to it. You’ve matured a lot since you’ve started to open up about your real self, and in the process, you’ve become one of the more pleasant members of this community that I’ve come to know. @Aquatic Konquest: I love your graphic designs, especially some of the skins you’ve made for this site and I respect you for being one of my fellow Truth or Square backers. @CDCB: You are one of the funniest members I’ve known and considering that we’re both animation industry majors on the spectrum, it’s no surprise how we’ve gotten along so well. If you’re still focusing on your future animation career, I’d love to see it take off while I continue to work my way towards it. @Clappy: I like your reviews and your style of writing them. I always have. You’ve also inspired me to do my own entertainment reviews (and also Doug Walker, but I regret taking inspiration from him), including for my own preferred medium, so I’m thankful for that too. Also, because I haven’t said this before, congrats on your marriage, man. @Coffee_lover: I haven’t seen you around for a while on SBC and there were a few times we’ve talked. If you’re still there, I just wanted to say that you’re my favorite shitposter on here and while you have some of the hottest SpongeBob/animation takes I’ve seen, I appreciate how well you discuss them. @CyanideFishbone: We’ve squabbled a bit about music tastes a few times while you still very much regret your past self, but hey, all is still good between us. You have good taste in music and as well as some good taste in anime, considering how your review of MHA S3 got me interested in the series (I haven’t read your review to avoid spoilers, but I will soon once I’m up to that speed). @dmandamanAndKnuckles: You’re really great at the competitive scene on SBC and also a cool person to be around with. @E.V.I.L.: We haven’t spoken to each other in ages, but I want to let you know that I still think you’re a cool and humorous guy. @Funyarinpa: Although I’m by no means a sports fanatic like you are, at the very least I could say that I appreciate your contributions to this site (and on SBM before it sunk so low), especially during the Metalgate and Third Renaissance periods that we’ve all endured. Being a bit of a fan of Wander Over Yonder myself, I also respect your devotion to it. @G4RY SMELLY: Even if I don’t love Up as much as you do, we still have some common ground since I do love Up and I love Pixar as well. here’s also hoping that you find the cure for your itchy balls. @HawkbitAlpha: I’ve known you since you were a member named ACS who was hellbent on trying to “destroy SBC.” You took a rather long time to erase that past self of yours and mature, and when you matured enough to return to SBC, you earned a lot of my respect. I know it’s cliché of me to bring this up and contrast it the person you are now, but most others here said it best that you’ve had the best redemption arc out of any former enemy of SBC. If anything else I could add, I have stopped being mad at (or to an extent, stopped caring about) ACS by 2014 and I was silently willing to give you a second chance when you first spoke on SBM about making amends. You were young then and now you’ve grown up by a lot. You’re also one of the smartest members I’ve come to know, so I commend your political knowledge compared to my lack thereof. @Jackie Chan: No contest, you are my favorite SBC god. You can kick my butt any time. @JCM: You’ve made yourself out to be a great site modder and as well as a great site leader. Also, while I haven’t mustered up the time to read most of your writing like for most other fellow spin-off/lit writers here, from what I’ve seen, you are a talented and humorous writer and I appreciate you for continuing to give the writing forums a pulse. @jjsthekid: There’s so much I could say about you, but I want to keep things fair and not provide too much. You’ve been one of my greatest friends on SBC since our first year on here. We’ve both been making names of ourselves within the spin-off/lit community. Every once in a while I still have convos with you on Discord about things like Pokemon, Spyro, and other topics we’re both keen on. Most of all, you remain one of the biggest contributors for SBC, organizing events, keeping things in order, communicating with other fellow members, etc., so it’s no wonder a lot of my gratitude goes out to you. @kev: I’ve got to hand it to you for giving me some support and feedback for my entertainment reviews. Other than that, you’re a funny and cool guy, plain and simple. @Majesty Yuka: We’ve been close friends since around 2012 when we’ve been exchanging some funny jokes, including the time where I’ve been inspired to go by ‘the gnarliest stuff in the ocean.’ Ffs, I even made a serialized joke spin-off where I wrote a version of myself to be a serial killer who makes burgers out of lethal seahorse radish based on your request. It’s no surprise to see why I’ve remained a close friend, since years later you would open up about your own personal life issues and I would come around to give you my support. Enough about you and I though, the rest of these words are for you alone. You are an amazing and unique artist. That and you are one of the nicest and most supportive people I’ve come to know in this community. @Mr. Kite: It’s always nice to have someone interested in the animation medium as much as I am. Also, because I have my review to prove it, I’ve enjoyed your writing on your Lit, so I’d still like to see you continue it later. @NegiSpongie: You may be done with posting in the spin-off/lit forums and I have seen little of your writing myself, I’ve heard from word of mouth on fanfiction.net ages ago that you are one of the most respected SB fan-writers there, so if I do indulge in your writing at some later point, I do feel like I could enjoy your writing. Aside from that, I respect you for being one of the biggest SB fans here. @Nick Cannon: I commend you for being able to moderate SBC even after knowing that you have epilepsy. Other than that, I respect you for being one of the few other music critics on the site and for being a pretty outgoing guy. @Old Man Jenkins: You’re a talented and humorous writer (We wouldn’t have had Skodwarde without you, man) and an all-around chill guy. @OWM: We’ve hardly talked to each other, but I can certainly tell you that you've done a great job as a site moderator. @Patty Rose: I admire your art and your graphics for SBC. You’ve made some great contributions to the site, so I know you make a great co-leader for the community. You just keep doing what you do best, girl. @President Squidward: Being friends with you was something that took time. One of my earliest memories of you was through some of your posts in that old, infamous Frozen 2 thread, when you still had that weird Disney hate boner. Years later in 2017, I would find myself bonding with you over our own frustrations towards YT’s TTG-hating-circlejerk cartoon analysis community before we began talking about our own interests. I like how you’re a man of many interests and you’ve gotten me openly curious about subjects like Wunschpunsch, Plaid, and Karl Hadrika’s work though I haven’t started delving into either of those things yet. You’ve outdone yourself in showing your devotion towards your interests by evolving from the Squidward crossovers guy into the leader of a Squnschpunsch movement that even you got me into. While I still got to create my own Squnschpunsch drawing due to your overlord request, I am focusing on that and I assure that you’ll love it when it’s done. @RarityOdd: No question about it, you have the biggest heart within the community and you’re one of SBC’s most dedicated members. Even while English wasn’t your first language, I respect how well you’ve communicated with each one of us. Heck, you and I have been close friends since our first year on SBC, when we were Phineas & Ferb defending “fugitives” in a timeframe when some of the members would scream bloody murder over anyone expressing their love for the show. Putting aside those weird times, it’s good to see how you’re still close to us and the forums even after you’ve decided to stop keeping up with the series that this website is built around. @Renegade the Unicorn: It’s hard for me to muster up the time to read most of the stories archived on SBC, so I’ve merely seen bits and pieces of your writing, but I still respect your creative drive and dedication to then and as well as helping keep the spin-off/lit forums alive. @Sauce Mama: You live up to your old handle, Serving Up Smiles, and that’s an understatement. Simply put, you’re a very pleasant, amazing, and even sometimes a cool person to be around. @SG19: We’ve rarely talked to each other. Regardless, I respect you a lot for being one of the few OGs still dedicated to being part of this community. Also, and I’ve only heard of this through JCM’s shout-outs thread, congrats on your college graduation. @Snom: Like most other fellows, our relationship started off rocky. And like most other members, I would understand you better later on and respect you as one of our biggest OGs. You were an interesting person, which made writing your fictionalized self on UWS S3 fun. Not only that, I appreciated your support for my said spin-off and as well for being one of the biggest competitive players on SpongeBob Jeopardy, though I wasn’t around for most of Trophy’s and your victories. @Sweat: I like your eccentric taste in music, as it has gotten me openly curious about some of your favorites. Other than that, I’ve also enjoyed your Squidward Chat! spin-off. @teenj12: I wish I could say this to you earlier, but anyways, congrats on you for focusing on your publishing career. It’s sad to see that you had to prematurely end some of your Teenjverse stuff. Regardless, I still respect you for your contributions to SBC, your contributions to the spin-off/lit writing community, and for taking this big step towards your own life. @terminoob: Now you, you are the true OG since SBC wouldn’t have been made without you. Early on, we’ve had our disputes. Despite that, I always thought you were a cool guy. I like your passion for the animation medium and I love your artwork. If you’re still focusing on your graphic novel career, I’m eager to see it take off and then I could be one of the first few hundred or thousands to witness your work. @tvrepairman: I’ve had to endure a lot of your drama in the past. As the years came by, you’ve matured by a lot. You may be too pre-occupied with your own personal life to pop up again and find this, yet still I wanted to let you know that I respect you for all that you’ve done for this community. I became an immediate member thanks to you and sbs1fan promoting the heck out of the old forumotion site on tv.com (a.k.a. the MySpace of my time). Back when you were an active writer for the spin/lit forums, I respect your consistent creative drive and your articulateness for your young age at that time. Even though it got you a little too far a few times, I respect your serious devotion to keeping SBC alive and active until you were done co-running the site. @Tyrion Lannister: You’re an underrated and talented writer based on what I’ve seen of your spin-off/lit writing and you’re just a cool person in general. @WhoBob: Along with a few other members, you are one of my fellow entertainment nerds. You’re great at writing your reviews on top of being a great person to talk to. @WinterArcanine: I know I wouldn’t forget to mention you since you are my partner in crime in defending the greatness that is Truth or Square. I also commend you for your big devotion to SpongeBob in general. @WoahResurrectedCrap22: I’m surprised how well you took the criticism and cheap jabs that some of us had given you back in 2010-2012 in retrospect, even after I’ve said it numerous times that I was personally ashamed of writing a Lit satirizing you to the point of erasing it. That goes to show that you’ve matured. Although you seem to have left the site on your own terms or probably due to some drama on Discord that I wasn’t completely aware of, I feel you’re still out there continuing on to do better things. @Wumbo: While Claps got me interested in doing my own entertainment reviews, you inspired me to do my own music critiques through your own pop music reviews. Your passion for music is undeniable and those reviews of yours come out on top most of time. You’re also a competent writer, knowing your past history as a spin-off/lit writer. @Young Nug: You’re one of the site’s best pop culture debaters and as well as one of the best former admins we’ve had. It’s a shame that I don’t see you around so much anymore since you’re focusing on your own real life outside the net. So here’s hoping that you’re making the most of your life right now. And a special thanks to everyone else that I couldn’t give a shoutout to. The rest of you mean a lot to me. -Finally, I also have some shoutouts to those who have either been inactive for years (or for several months) or are outside of SBC yet still remain important to me and are worth my own words: Classic Nickelodeon Fan 1: I appreciated your input on the spin-off/lit forums, as well as for the rest of the site when you were a mod. You’re a really nice and creative guy too, so it’s no wonder why we still miss seeing you from time to time. ExKizuna: Oh boy. I had squabbled with you more than anyone else. You’ve caused a good enough amount of drama in the past too. When you’ve had the reputation of being a “cool” and “badass” member, some of the things you’ve done here haven’t aged well. How some of us used to write you on our respective Lits haven’t aged well either, given the whole Ex SBC Lit curse as Jjs’ Riffing Theater described it. I’m also never going to forget the time you were trying to get me banned before we both made amends on XAT. Despite how I feel about your past, you still remain important to me for a few reasons. Having talked with you, I’ve learned when I needed to stop talking, I’ve realized how much of a pest I was for consistently asking to be a mod during my first year, and I’ve learned to grow a backbone (although, sometimes, it wasn’t all for the right reasons). I also feel like you may have regrets of your own past self since those moments happened a long time ago, and if so, I’d say you’re still cool in my eyes and I hope we can still be…moddies (jk, i won’t ever call us that again). Goosebumpsfan2: I’ve known you as Goosebumpsfan here on SBC and on tv.com. I’ve known you as The Regurgitator on the Phineas & Ferb Wiki. I’ve known you as Spongey444 on SBM and on your own blog. Of course, we had our rough times, including when I’ve heard about your fights outside of SBC with SOF. We’ve had some good times too as you were the first person to stand by me for loving P&F. In addition, I’ve read a few of your entertainment review on your respective blog and I must say, you’re quite a good reviewer and I’m glad to see that you’ve been making a living out of something you enjoy doing. Homie: I want to thank you again for your bravery during the Third Renaissance and for letting us all know about your story. The more I got to know the person that you are, the clearer it was to me that you’re one of the most mature and smartest people on SBC. You’re pre-occupied with your own personal life, so I can see why you’re no longer active on here. Nonetheless, just keep being strong. Jane: I still remember very well when you were once known as Teamwork/Stancakes. I also still remember when you ended up getting banned on XAT before getting banned on SBC once because you couldn’t control yourself, all back in 2016. Even despite your behavior back then, I’ve always thought you were a cool enough person to talk to on the forums and while you’ve outgrown SBC, I respect you for your soul-searching that made you redeemed and earned your unbanning. Also, while I’ve seen little of your digital artwork, I love what I’ve seen of it. MadameCat: I’ve haven’t heard from you since you ended up getting banned on tv.com in 2011 while the pre-movie/post-movie debates were still going on there, so this is going to feel like I’m talking to a ghost. Still though, I at least want to reach out to you with nothing more than some words on your behalf. While my experience with Ex taught me not to be a doormat, looking back at my regretful experiences of targeting you during the so-called nostalgia disputes taught me how important it is to respect the opinions of others and it taught me to treat people online like how I want to be treated. However you’re doing now, I hope you’re making the most out of your life. I haven't heard from you in such a long time, yet you still remain in my mind because of this solemn reminder. PIEGUYRULZ: I respect you for distancing yourself from SBM sometime after you knew about what was going down there. Also, I think you’re a talented reviewer (though some “Sportz?” detractors might beg to differ) and I have mad respect for you calling Nickelodeon out for their B.S. come the Kamp Koral spin-off announcement, which goes to show sometimes that great minds think alike. Sabre: The last that I’ve heard from you, you logged back in one day in 2015 to tell us that you’re focusing on your job as a television writer in your home country. If that’s still your career, then I give you cheers for continuing to move on to great things. I still miss you a lot though. SpongeSebastian: You weren’t just one of the first few friends I’ve made on tv.com when I first joined. You were the OG member of the SpongeBob internet community. Since those early days, you were the first guaranteed person any other member on tv.com would know when they were introduced to the community. I don’t see you around anymore, but I still appreciate your contributions a lot. tvfan95: You left the community on such an odd note, but the SB spin-off writing world would’ve never existed without you making it into the creative movement that it was since 2008, so I have some respect to give to you. Thanks for reading and here's to another year of SBC.
  2. 8 points
    Holy crap! I've been on SBC for 10 years. Honestly, i didn't think i made this far, and how i've been makung grood friends here on the forums, xat and Discord. I just wanted to thanks to everyone who were being supported me. It really means a lot to me. When I first joined SBC, which i was migrated from TV.com. I didn't realized how amazing this place been. it was such a wlid ride over the years. from moving forumotion to vBulltin to IPB. I also had fun chatting with you guys in XAT & Discord. There was weird times when we were noobs days, and how we were back in. Persionally, 2011 was one of my favorite year in forum-wise. my personal fave SBC skin is v5 Dophin and v8 Orca. As for favorite SBC feature? i would say iFish which i rreally liuked it tbh. I'll probably do top 10 personal fave SBC event tomorrow. But yeah, it was such fun & exciting place to be part of SBC member. and the best of all, you guys are one of kindest users
  3. 5 points
    Damn, i feel old. Today marks my 10 year SBC Anniversary. I feel proud to be part of SBC. special shoutout to @jjsthekid @Steel Sponge @Majesty Yuka @Randall Weasott @Patty Rose @Aquatic Konquest @President Squidward @OWM @Katniss @Wumbo @70s @CDCB @teenj12 @E.V.I.L. @Nosferatu! and @Goobz for being good friends with me over the years!
  4. 4 points
    Let me keep this short and sweet. WE ARE LIVING IN A TELEVISION RENAISSANCE! What a time it is to be alive for new and exciting ways to reinvent how we view television. From streaming our shows to binge-watching a series in a matter of hours thanks to streaming, we are definitely living in the best timeline to watch television in ways we couldn’t have imagined twenty years ago. And honestly, that’s why it was that much harder to write this best list. Because I had to make so many painful cuts and I had to keep watching more 2010s shows so I didn’t miss anything else. And I’ll be honest, I probably missed a lot of stuff that you guys are going to point out in the comments and replies. So I’ll save you all the trouble and put it on my constantly growing watch list when I have the time to keep watching more and more shows. So with that being said, here is what this tasteless idiot thinks are: CLAPPY’S TOP TWENTY BEST SHOWS OF THE 2010'S
  5. 3 points
    let’s pretend there’s a university. there’s three history courses. all of them are about the American Revolution. the first one, HIST 2015, is basically a brighter version of Hamilton, one that plays up the strengths of the American experiment. Taught by the bright-eyed, eccentric, and talented (if mildly derivative) Professor Abrams, it hits all the positive hallmarks, calls back to names all the students know, and even introduces a few new ones. It’s not challenging, it’s familiar, and it’s basically just AP US History again, but hey, Abrams is fun and it works, even if sometimes it gets a bit too celebratory for its own good. Everyone leaves the course pretty satisfied. but HIST 2017 is different. The head of this class, Professor Johnson, has a wildly radical approach to his subject matter. Instead of going on and on about the wonders of the American experiment, he asks questions about the ethics and morals of it. Like, hey, didn’t these founding fathers own slaves? Isn’t this country built on the backs of those slaves? Built on a legacy of systematic slaughter and bloodshed? Is this a legacy even worth upholding? It’s a depressing re-evaluation of the American history, but it’s not inaccurate by any means. However, even though Professor Johnson looks at America without the rose-tinted glasses (wink!), he takes great pride and joy in what America represents and what it can be. Most of his class focuses on the American Revolutionary leaders and their friends, a group of scrappy rebels who came from nothing and banded together in the face of adversity, not tied to any legacy before them, only dedicated towards the one ahead. It’s a rejection of nearly everything the kids have been taught about America before, but in a lot of ways, an embracing of what it can be. Johnson’s belief that anyone can be important in this story pumps through the class and makes it feel alive and unique. It’s flawed structurally in a couple ways, and gets away with asking a lot of questions it doesn’t have to answer, but in that, it’s almost beautiful. Students loved HIST 2017. They got a lot out of it, too - new world views, more empathetic outlooks on cultures, the works. But when they come back home for the holidays to their families, the parents don’t like it. Not one bit. And they react viciously. Cries of “That’s not the America I remember! Not MY America!” pepper dinner time arguments all over the country. HIST 2017 is so divisive that it sends the University into a frenzy as it gets bogged down with complaints from angry, conservative parents afraid of change. So the university decides to make a new course. HIST 2019. HIST 2019 is... Also different. The university didn’t have a lot of time to develop the course. A professor who specialized in history about the Jurassic period was supposed to teach it, but the university decided in the end to go with Professor Abrams again. And to be fair, it’s a tough position to be in for sure - with all the audiences he has to appease, and the University’s reputation hanging in the balance, this is easily the most important class he’s ever taught. In his crunch for time, he looks over Professor Johnson’s course and sees that it’s basically undone everything his original course set up. And in a moment of self-reflection, he stops and thinks about what that means. He asks whether the America that Johnson sees and the America he sees can be reconciled, completely oblivious to the fact that they’re the same America. And he decides that they can’t coexist - not in a coherent way, at least. So he decides to walk it all back. This team of rebels that everyone cared about so deeply? He makes sure to reinforce their place as mere cogs in the machine of the legacy that everything in America is in service to. He takes what his and Johnson’s class were building to, a way to undo the sins of the father by first reinforcing what America is and then deconstructing it, and bastardizes it. He ends up walking back some of Johnson’s positions so hard that he actually ends up reinforcing problematic elements of America that even his original class didn’t. The limited time he had to prepare the class gives the entire thing a rushed, slapped together feel, sometimes feeling as if Professor Abrams is talking just to check off boxes on the syllabus. Certain days of class feel like Abrams is literally pulling random facts out of his ass to make his retcons to the previous class fit. And he makes some of the critical information for the final available on Fortnite. Yknow, for the kids. In the end, the class spells the beginning of the end of the History program at the university, leaving the students angry and confused about what the point of the courses even were in the first place, and more worried about the future of America than ever before. If HIST 2015 was about how cycles exist and repeat, and HIST 2017 was about how those cycles can be toxic and need to be broken, all 2019 did was prove that regardless of the broken nature of those cycles, they’ll nihilistically continue, no matter what you do, and whether you want them to or not, all at the behest of villains that continue to rise up and never really die. The night before class starts, Abrams nervously looks over his lesson plans for the year, afraid of the backlash, trying to do his best with a subject he’s loved ever since he was a little kid. He looks to the university committee for help - they merely shrug, hoping it’ll get the complainers off their backs, so afraid of rocking the boat that they’ll do anything to steady it again. Abrams thinks about these complainers, and he cocks his head, wondering if these people so resistant to change truly ever understood the thing they were criticizing in the first place. Maybe he doesn’t himself. But it’s a fleeting thought. He waves it away, hops into bed, clicking off his lens flare night light as he does so. “Showtime,” he says to himself in the dark. But no one is listening. Not anymore. anyway now that we’re done pretending: “The dead speak!”? get the fuck outta here man
  6. 3 points
    Thanks for the acknowledgment. Sometimes, I honestly can't believe I managed to last ten years long, either!
  7. 3 points
  8. 2 points
  9. 2 points
    looks nice cover art, but i won't buy this DVD.
  10. 2 points
    damn, I really have been on sbc for 10 years now huh
  11. 2 points
    I have 8 more movies to watch first but I MIGHT do 50 movies of 2019 ranked worst to best, not sure yet!
  12. 2 points
    Checked this one out out of curiosity, it wasn't a bad episode. However, I did have a couple issues with it at points. Most of it came from directional issues; Spongebob and Patrick were written really off the rails this time around, even for this point of the show. I feel like they could've toned them down a fair bit and the episode would've turned out tons better. This also adds another issue; I feel like the stakes weren't high enough for a good majority of the episode, and instead of going for a full-on plot, it throws that aside just to be another instance of "lol funny". With that in mind, the episode feels less like an escape plot and more of an exploration plot for a good portion of the episode (of course, that is not a bad thing at all; what they did do with the plot, locations, etc. was actually rather creative). In addition, there are definitely parts of the episode I found legitimately funny. Overall, I would probably give this episode a fair 7/10; watchable and enjoyable for the most part but not without flaws and other things which could have been improved upon.
  13. 2 points
    Blimey, haven't posted in here a while huh? Guess it has to do with me not feeling like I have anything good to show, but I think an update would be of order, so here are my two recent drawings that I'm kinda happy with. (for the moment at least) A lil' Classic Amy trying to mimic her older modern self! Amy and the girls (and enby) lined up for a quick snap!
  14. 1 point
    The Lorax isn't that bad tbh
  15. 1 point
    are we judging these on comedy because if so then kamikaze wins for being the most unintentionally funny album of the past decade
  16. 1 point
    Sorry for the schedule slippage! I'm finally ready with the first part of my newest episode for this series! I hope you enjoy it! / In an unusual twist, Marlene is standing on a pier overlooking the ocean, and she says: “Last time on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, the two teams and the remaining contestants, found themselves pitted head to head in an icy competition, in an all-out snowball fight in an unusually exciting game of Capture the Flag! Due to Blonda suddenly becoming indisposed for reasons that I don't feel comfortable repeating here, the prize for the team, was that a coach of THEIR choice, should they win, would become the NEW coach for the remainder of this season! Although I got picked by the Killer Prawns, I used MY knowledge of Rico's weakness to hot peppers, to give Bubble Bass and the other Killer Prawns the edge they needed, to FINALLY achieve a victory, and secure MY place as the new coach, for the remainder of this season! Unfortunately, what I could NOT anticipate, was that the other Power Pandas, with the exception of Skipper and Kowalski, would turn on Rico! They saw Rico's mental instability, and general lack of trustworthiness, as liabilities, and booted him from the game. While I do regret Rico's elimination, there will STILL be plenty of jungle thrills, sailing spills, and maybe some nautical chills, on a special, sea-faring, jungle exploring, and very exciting spectacle episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! Nailed it!” / Instead of the usual show open, a highly stylized movie-type opening shows a bunch of the contestants running and slashing their way through an unfamiliar jungle, avoiding all the dangerous local wild-life located within, all to the tune of a hit Creedence Clearwater Revival song! / John Fogerty sings: “Whoa, thought it was a nightmare! Lo, it's all so true. They told me, 'Don't go walking slow, 'cause Devil's on the loose.' Better run through the jungle. Better run through the jungle. Better run through the jungle. Woah, don't look back to see. Thought I heard a rumbling, calling to my name. Two hundred million guns are loaded; Satan cries, 'Take aim!' Better run through the jungle. Better run through the jungle. Better run through the jungle. Woah, don't look back to see. Over on the mountain, Thunder magic spoke; 'Let the people know my wisdom, fill the land with smoke.' Better run through the jungle. Better run through the jungle. Better run through the jungle. Woah, Don't look back to see.” And the hit song fades out into the opening show title. / “Surfing And/Or Safari!” / The episode proper opens up, as the sun is rising on a bright, sunny day. In the fancy hotel, both Bubble Bass and Johnny Krill are relaxing face down on a massage bench, while heavy gorillas, Bada, and Bing, are taking out the various kinks and problems in their backs, by WALKING on the backs of Bubble Bass and Johnny Krill with all their might! Johnny Krill says: “You know, when Tigress said that this massage treatment would take away all the PAIN that I've ever endured during my history as an extreme sports daredevil, I thought she was CRAZY, but these certified gorilla masseuses are REALLY doing the TRICK!” Bubble Bass says: “This is how you KNOW Tigress is in a good mood! When she WANTS the two of us to enjoy a LUXURIOUS morning of pampering and quiet SERENITY!” Johnny Krill says: “Yeah. Now the TRICK, is, being able to KEEP Tigress in a GOOD mood!” Bubble Bass says: “It's not going to be THAT easy! Don't forget, Tigress has a hair TRIGGER temper, that could FIRE at any MOMENT, due to being on SUCH a short fuse, so for the LOVE of Neptune, PLEASE don't do and/or SAY anything stupid that could get YOU, or WORSE, ME, in trouble!” Johnny Krill says: “Ignoring that OBVIOUS jab at my intellectual skills, why don't we just take CARE of the problem now? Just ELIMINATE Tigress and ELIMINATE the guess work on how to keep her happy!” Bubble Bass suddenly gets up, but Anti-Cosmo casts a gust of wind to BLOW his towel off! Bubble Bass rolls his eyes and says: “Oh, REALLY mature, Anti-Cosmo, you blew my towel off. Don't you EVER get tired of being so PREDICTABLY irritating?!” Anti-Cosmo says: “It's only irritating to you, not to me. Besides, I'll STOP doing such thing when it STOPS being funny.” (Confessional) Anti-Cosmo says: “As in, NEVER!!!!” (End Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “And Johnny Krill, are you out of your barnacle-filled mind?! You KNOW Tigress is our STRONGEST player, and our BEST chance of MAKING it to the Final Three! Without Tigress, our entire PLAN falls apart! And where would THAT leave us?!” And Bubble Bass suddenly hears both Bada, and Bing, wolf-whistle at Bubble Bass' nudity, and Bubble Bass says: “Why don't you take a picture?! It will last longer! Oh, wait; don't bother! We're being filmed!” And Bubble Bass grabs his towel and wraps it back around him! Johnny says: “Look, all I'm SAYING is, that we KNOW that we're going to have to cut Tigress out sooner or later. She may be our best bet for getting to the Final Three, but she would ALSO be able to absolutely DESTROY anybody who GETS to the Final Three with her! It's a double-edged sword! She's both an asset, and A liability! See where I'm coming from?” Bubble Bass says: “All I know is, Bulma got eliminated RIGHT after she got rid of Zarbon, the STRONGEST member of her alliance! I don't want to see you or ANYBODY on our team making the same mistake! As far as I'm concerned, as long as Tigress doesn't do ANYTHING to endanger us, or ANY of our fellow team-members, she can stay! If, and only IF, she becomes a genuine problem, will we even CONSIDER eliminating her, and ONLY as a LAST resort! The LAST thing WE want to do, is anger anybody THAT strong!” And Bubble Bass points to Bada and Bing as prime examples of his statement! Johnny sighs, and says: “Okay, then. Just let it be known, for the record, I was the FIRST one to suggest that!” Bubble Bass says: “Don't let it be written as your epitaph!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “Do I personally think that Tigress could be a liability to my chances of winning this season? Possibly. However, I absolutely REFUSE to say something STUPID that could potentially HURT my chances of winning! The smart thing for me to do, is to keep my head low, and let Tigress attract ALL of the attention to herself! I mean, it IS what she wants! And if all the attention gets focused on HER, it actually gives ME a better chance of making it to the Final Three! Tigress may have the MUSCLES to make it to the final three, but it also paints a bigger target on her back, and that will probably LEAD to her OWN undoing!” / Johnny Krill says: “Okay, MAYBE I was being a little blunt! But Bubble Bass HAS to admit that I have a point. Neither of us can match up against the raw strength that resides inside of Tigress, so we've got to look out for each other, as brothers in arms! I mean, Bubble Bass is obviously trying to do the same for me, as far as having an alliance with me goes! Whether that feeling extends beyond the competition, I can't say for sure at the moment. But I'll cross that bridge only IF and/or when I might end up coming to it! Foresight is EVERYTHING in a competition of this nature!” (End Confessional) The Power Pandas are sleeping in the cabins, and just starting to wake up. Po rounds up the Power Pandas who AREN'T Skipper and Kowalski, and he says: “Well, our worst fears have been confirmed. Our penguin members were only looking out for themselves, and were willing to do ANYTHING, to try to take control of the game!” Theodore says: “Obviously, we KNOW that now! But we're in the clear now, RIGHT?! I mean; Rico is GONE now, and Kowalski is on probation! So that leaves only Private! And I don't think Private will do anything to rock the boat, given what has happened!” Jenny says: “It's hard to say. After all, while Kowalski may not be able to COMPETE in this upcoming challenge, he can STILL give his advice and knowledge to Private, and that COULD give him the edge over the rest of us! We are going to have to be on GUARD, and try to stay united! If we let those penguins convince that one of US needs to be eliminated should we lose, they'll find themselves on the verge of control again! And if WE want to have a chance of winning, we CAN'T allow that!” Danny says: “I quite agree! If there are ANY legal tricks we can use in this upcoming challenge to keep us safe, I suggest we use them! That way, we'll look good IF we lose, and COOL if we win! And under NO circumstances, do we repeat ANY of this to Private and Kowalski! THAT, means YOU, Theodore!” Theodore nervously asks: “Why do you MEAN, ME?!” Jenny says: “Well, statistically speaking, you ARE the most likely of us to get nervous enough, to try to save your OWN skin!” And Theodore gulps nervously! (Confessional) Theodore says: “The worst part about Jenny's statement, is that as a robot; she's practically RIGHT about it! Other than singing, I really don't HAVE any special skills that could help me out in a competition of this nature! I only signed up for this competition in order to make Alvin happy! I wasn't expecting to get picked! Thankfully, I have HEARD that Brittany is back as an intern! Maybe SHE can give me the advice that I need, to prevail in this challenge!” / Jenny says: “As a robot, I was not PROGRAMMED to feel such emotions as fear and nervousness! However, I'm not necessarily sure whether this is a good thing OR a bad thing at the moment! After all, from what I've witnessed, any other contestant, who is able to become afraid and nervous, can ALSO get a boost of adrenaline and bravery, and accomplish feats that they wouldn't be able to accomplish normally! While I can do a lot, it takes a lot of effort on MY end, to do MORE than I've been programmed to do! And while I CAN calculate for a lot, the HUMAN factor, of being variable and unpredictable, STILL leaves a lot of guess-work on my end! But all things considered, I just hope Theodore can prove himself to us, and to himself! After all, his safety as a member of our team, depends on it!” / Po says: “Believe me, I don't WANT to have to be AGAINST the penguins, but they DID start this whole mess! If they could have just kept RICO in line, we wouldn't have HAD to eliminate him! BUT, they didn't, so we HAD to do what we did! We're probably doing Private and Kowalski a FAVOR in the long run! It was nothing personal!” / Danny says: “So far, everything has been going relatively SMOOTH in the challenge department! Nothing TOO out of the ordinary! And yet, unless my ghost senses are acting up, I have a supernatural feeling that something STRANGE is about to happen!” And then, as if on command, a strange voice comes out of Danny, and he says: “Crikey!” And an Australian Fedora blows in from out of nowhere, onto Danny's head, and Danny is SUDDENLY channeling Steve Irwen! In an Australian accent, Danny says: “Smells like some strange magic blowing in from a didgeridoo from the outback! I best keep my wits about me, if I want to keep my fellow team-mates safe!” (End Confessional) Private and Kowalski are sharing the same cabin room, mainly because they wanted to be SURE, that nobody else would be ABLE to find ANY of their plans and ideas for the remainder of the challenge. Private says: “Kowalski? I just wanted to thank you again for stepping up and telling the truth about that whole Rico ordeal. I know it's not what either of us wanted, but there's no WAY either of us can win, if we have to resort to such underhanded tactics to get farther in the game!” Kowalski says: “I had to, Private! Such a moment of weakness is INEXCUSIBLE for a genius such as myself! I couldn't let YOU suffer because of a mistake that I made! Rico may be gone, but we will NOT let his elimination be in vain! We shall simply have to work harder AND tougher, to get past the rest of the challenges that come our way! We've got to look out for each other now, more than ever! Our safety and security depends on it!” Private says: “I quite agree!” Kowalski hands Private a clip-board, and Kowalski says: “Private, I want you to study this clip-board.” Private asks: “YOUR clip-board?! But, why?!” Kowalski says: “Simple. You KNOW I can't compete in this upcoming challenge. I'm on probation. Therefore, YOU will have to use the plans I'VE developed, to see you through this challenge, and win US immunity! I've carefully developed every possible challenge scenario for this season, and strategies for getting past them all! Now, these plans will only take you half-way to your goal! The rest, is all up to you!” Private says: “Do you really think I can do it by myself?” Kowalski says: “Don't just do it for yourself; do it for Rico!” Private does a flipper slap with Kowalski, and Private enthusiastically says: “For Rico!” (Confessional) Private says: “I've certainly come a long way with my fellow penguins! Kowalski has put his complete trust in ME, to carry out HIS plan! That's a BIG responsibility for a penguin commando such as myself, so I certainly don't want to take this matter lightly! If there is ONE thing that penguins NEVER do, is that penguins, never say 'DIE'!!!!” / Kowalski says: “It's all in Private's flippers now! I gave him my analytical analysis, now it's up to him, to figure out how to use it best! If ANY penguin can get me out of THIS mess, it's ALL Private!” (End Confessional) Suddenly, everyone starts to hear the sound of SOMEBODY playing a didgeridoo! Tigress says: “Ooh! Must be the sign to come start today's challenge! Aren't YOU excited, Fee and Katarra?!” Katarra, still floating eerily, says: “Well, 'Excited' is HARDLY the term I would use for the upcoming challenge we have to face!” Fee suspiciously says: “WHY?! What do you KNOW?!” Katarra says: “Well, it's not MY place to say, but you know how WELL my intuition has served ME during these past few challenges! And my intuition tells me that not only are we facing a safari challenge, but Johnny Krill is ALREADY entertaining ideas of trying to vote YOU off, Tigress!” Tigress says: “THAT B--!” Than Tigress remembers that FEE is in the room, and Tigress swallows a gulp, and says: “BIG jerk! I won't let him USURP me! He thinks he can JUST eliminate ME, he's WRONG! I wasn't voted STRONGEST female of the Valley of Peace for 14 YEARS running for nothing! He wants to mess with the tiger? He's going to get the claws, AND the fangs!” Fee says: “I hate to break your 'Roaring Rampage of Revenge'; but that idea is NOT going to fly! Remember the season THREE penalty vote rule? It IS still in effect, you know! That's NEVER going to go away!” And Fee twitches nervously, as if expecting Tigress to absolutely SCREAM and LOSE it, but instead, Tigress gets a VERY devious look on her face, and she says: “Who said anything about PHYSICAL revenge?! A TRUE master doesn't ALWAYS rely on her fists to solve her problems! There ARE alternative ways, to DEAL with a problem!” (Confessional) Fee says: “Is it just me, or does Tigress seem super CREEPY when she gets a sinister smile on her face?!” Katarra pops in, and she says: “Trust me, it's NOT just you!” Fee jumps back, and she says: “Thank you Ms. ESP; which stands for EXTRA Spooky Personality!” / Tigress says: “If there's one thing I love MORE than using my fists to solve problems, it's BLOWING my opponents away with my superior BRAIN power! Johnny is going to find himself HUMILIATED if he TRIES to eliminate me! However, eliminating HIM now, would be a pretty BIG mistake, if I want to move FORWARD in this game, AND keep Bubble Bass on my good side! So, I think that I'll fire a WARNING shot across Johnny Krill's BIG prawn nose...thing, and eliminate someone inconsequential like Fee or Katarra, and let the OTHERS take the fall for their elimination!” (End Confessional) The contestants (minus Kowalski who is on probation), run out to the pier, expecting to see Sniz, only to be surprised when they find General Barracuda playing the didgeridoo, and Marlene, dressed in her brand new coach outfit, with a microphone in her hand! Theodore nervously asks: “Uh, does something seem off here?” Brittany appears in a fancy intern outfit, and she says: “You mean OTHER than seeing Danny sport an Australian fedora and an obviously FAKE Australian accent for no discernible reason? Not really!” General Barracuda chuckles an evil laugh, and he says: “Welcome, to the Safari, of general unpleasantness!!!! It is the safari challenge to end ALL safari challenges, or so Anti-Cosmo claims!” Marlene says: “If you LIKE that sort of thing!” Po asks: “Where are Sniz and Fondue?!” Anti-Cosmo suddenly appears, and he says: “I'm sorry to break it to you, but Sniz and Fondue are not here, they are in the deserted jungle island in the middle of this lake.” Jenny says: “We're in the middle of Lake MICHIGAN!!!! There IS no deserted jungle island in the middle of this lake!” Anti-Cosmo says: “I have a magic wand, you're argument is invalid. In any case, I have placed Sniz and Fondue in the middle of that jungle island with no clothes, shelter, or any modern conveniences, mainly because they were ANNOYING me, and I needed a good laugh!” Tigress rolls her eyes and asks: “WHY would you do something so PEDANTICALLY stupid and MINDLESS as that?!” Anti-Cosmo says: “Simple! I'm an evil, sophisticated genius, and it AMUSED me! In other words, I was bored!” Fee scoffs, and says: “I SWEAR, you are the MOST generic, most cliché riddled villain EVER!” Anti-Cosmo says: “Aren't those the EASIEST to hate, though?” Bubble Bass says: “I hate to admit it, but JERK wad has a point!” Bubble Bass says: “In any case, your challenge this time might be straight-forward, but it WON'T be easy!” Johnny Krill says: “Wouldn't BE any fun it if WAS easy!” Anti-Cosmo says: “Speaking of, I'm going to need two victims—volunteers, to step forward.” Theodore says: “I'm afraid of PAIN!” Anti-Cosmo says: “I wasn't TALKING about YOU! Bubble Bass and Po, come ON down!” Bubble Bass says: “Oh, you MUST be bugging!” But Anti-Cosmo simply waves his wand, and magically lifts Po and Bubble Bass to float over to where Anti-Cosmo is floating, than Anti-Cosmo DROPS them onto the ground! Po says: “OW! We could have just WALKED to where you were!” Anti-Cosmo drolly says: “Yeah, but where would the fun in THAT, be?! You two are very lucky, you're going to be GUARDING Sniz and Fondue from the RESPECTIVE other team! You can't help the rest of your team RESCUE Sniz and Fondue, and they can't ASK for your help, either! So, if the OTHER team manages to get past you, AND rescue Sniz and Fondue first, that means your team will LOSE, which could put YOU at risk of elimination!” Private says: “Well, that seems awfully UNFAIR for the ones who have to GUARD Sniz and Fondue!” Marlene says: “Which is why BEFORE Sniz and Fondue got abducted, they had me introduce the ULTIMATE insurance policy to getting eliminated! Now a full-time item, at LEAST until the Final Six, I'd like to bring back, the legendary Pendant of Life!” Danny, still channeling Steve Irwin, says: “Crikey! That's amazing!” Fee says: “I thought that was LOST after Angelica kicked it out of the plane last season!” Marlene says: “It was, but during one of Skipper's MANY penguin espionage excursions, he found it again! Hidden somewhere on the Island that Anti-Cosmo made appear, is the Legendary Pendant of Life! If you can find it, and present it at the Elimination Ceremony BEFORE the votes are read, you will be saved from elimination, and whoever has the most amount of votes BESIDES you, will be eliminated instead! Think of it as an extra-life in this game!” Brittany sarcastically says: “Wow, that's REALLY nice! You know what would have been nicer? If that thing had been around when I was actually COMPETING in this season! Like, BEFORE I got eliminated!” Marlene says: “I wasn't a coach HERE yet, so you STILL would have been out of luck!” Theodore says: “Brittany, if it makes you feel any better, I would've given the Pendant of Life to YOU if I had it in my possession.” Brittany just sighs, and says: “Thank you, Theodore, that means a LOT to me!” (Confessional) Marlene says: “As a coach, I have absolutely no power over who gets eliminated, not even my favorite penguin players! So, to make up for their recent loss, I introduced the idea of bringing back the Pendant of Life to Sniz and Fondue! Thankfully, they really went for it! So, if Private is as intelligent as I BELIEVE he is, he should find the Pendant of Life no problem! That way, at least ONE of the penguins has a decent chance of making it to the Final Five, even if their team should LOSE a challenge! It's the LEAST I could do FOR them!” / Private says: “You know, ever since Skipper became a family man, it feels like it's messed up our penguin dynamic. I thought Marlene only cared about spending time with Skipper, but it looks like I was wrong. She LIKES us, she REALLY likes us! I've GOT to find that Pendant of Life! Kowalski's safety may depend on it!” / Tigress is intrigued and says: “A Pendant of Life, huh? Looks like my window of opportunity has just opened! I'll SNAG that Pendant for myself, so even IF everyone else TRIES to vote me off, they STILL won't be able to! I'll just vote off whoever I find MORE annoying in this challenge! That should give EVERYONE the message that they shouldn't mess with ME!” (End Confessional) Anti-Cosmo says: “In any case, Bubble Bass and Po, I shall now transport you to the island where you will guard Sniz and Fondue. But before I do, I just want to say that you don't really LOOK like jungle island guards, so I'll just have to take care of THAT!” Po asks: “Well, what kind of jungle island guards are we supposed to look--.” (POOF!) And both of them are transported, but NOT their clothes, and they wind up on the magically created jungle island, armed ONLY with their clubs and their wits, and Po, VERY confused, finishes asking: “Like?” Bubble Bass groans, and yells: “Anti-Cosmo, you piece of underwater, chum scum! If I manage to SURVIVE this episode, I am GOING to find a way to make YOUR life miserable!” Fondue suddenly yells: “Quit YOUR complaining! At least YOU actually HAVE something to protect yourself! Sniz and I weren't even given that!” Po says: “He HAS a point, Bubble Bass!” Sniz walks out of a make-shift bamboo hut that happens to be on the island, and Sniz says: “Yeah, life might have given you some lemons. Well, more specifically, Anti-Cosmo has. But when life gives you lemons, you should make some lemonade!” Bubble Bass says: “So, what do YOU suggest I should do?” Sniz says: “Well, if you've ALWAYS wanted a full body tan, but didn't want to go to a full body tanning booth, here's a perfect opportunity to get a full body tan! Luckily, General Barracuda had the foresight to stockpile this island with lots of food, and sun-screen! You can NEVER have too much sun-screen!” Bubble Bass sighs, and says: “I'll take you up on that offer. Heaven knows, I'm PROBABLY going to NEED it!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “Plenty of food and sun-screen, but no CLOTHES?! General Barracuda DEFINITELY has some SKEWED priorities! At least I won't STARVE on this episode!” / Po says: “I have to AGREE with General Barracuda! If I could ONLY pack two things, it would be a LOT of food and sun-screen! I mean, there are so many OTHER worse things in this world than NOT having clothes!” (End Confessional) Back on the pier, Anti-Cosmo says: “Okay, Po and Bubble Bass are on guard duty, so now it's time for the REST of you to get prepared for this challenge! You will each grab a surfboard, and use it to get to the jungle island that I created out in the lake! Once your on the island, feel free to look out for the Pendant of Life if you want, but watch out for the dangerous wild-life that I placed on the island. If you think something is there that SHOULDN'T belong there; just remember, it IS my magic, and it IS what I felt like bringing to the island! Use any non-lethal method you want to incapacitate the guard you have to face, and be the first team to bring Sniz and Fondue back to safety. The team that brings them both back, will be safe. The losing team, will have to face ANOTHER Elimination Ceremony, and lose yet ANOTHER team-mate, no questions asked! Is everybody game?” Tigress seriously says: “I'm game for ANYTHING you can dish out, creep!” Tigress picks up Bubble Bass' clothes, and says: “Once I find Bubble Bass, even though he can't help me, I will at LEAST have the decency, to give him HIS decency back! It's the LEAST I can do for him” Jenny sighs, and says: “I guess I got to do the same for Po.” And Jenny grabs Po's shorts, and puts them in a plastic bag. Marlene says: “Very well then, it's time to get this show on the road! And to demo the surfing segment of this challenge, we've brought back former contestant, and last season's champion, Reggie Rocket!” Reggie surfs in on an epic wave, and comes to a graceful landing on the beach. Marlene asks: “So, Reggie, how are you doing?” Reggie says: “Look, I REALLY didn't come here to chat, I just came here to demo the surfing part of this challenge and get paid. I'm considering this practice for a global surfing competition that's going to be happening soon!” Marlene says: “Very well, then. I'll let you get right to it!” Reggie says: “Everybody watch!” Reggie eyes the magical waves of the lake, gauges their height, speed, and amount of wind sheer, than rockets off, and makes hair-pin turns around the buoys dotting the path to the island, and successfully makes it to the jungle island. Reggie shouts something, but she's so far away from the contestants, they can't HEAR what she's shouting! Johnny asks: “What did she say?!” General Barracuda says: “Anti-Cosmo, bring her back here! Don't MAKE me put the hurt on you!” Anti-Cosmo says: “I'm only doing this, because I'm pretty SURE you actually COULD hurt me if you WANTED to!” And Anti-Cosmo waves his wand, and brings Reggie back. Reggie said: “I said; 'That's all there is to it'!” Fee says: “Really?! I thought you said something else!” Reggie says: “I would've, but Nickelodeon doesn't want us to be SUED by Warner Bros. OR their associates!” Marlene says: “MAN, our lawyers ARE cautious!” General Barracuda says: “No, they are just REALLY cheap! Which is STILL pretty much the same thing in MY personal opinion!” Marlene says: “Anyways, on your marks, get set--!” (Blows her whistle!) Marlene shouts: “GO!!!!” And a hit song by The Beach Boys starts playing as all of the surfing contestants start surfing their way around the buoys! / “Let's go surfin' now, everybody's learning how. Come on and safari with me! (Come on and safari with...) Early in the morning we'll be startin' out, some honeys will be coming along. We're loading up our Woody, with our boards inside, and headin' out, singing our song. Come on (surfin') baby wait and see; (surfin' safari). Yes I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Come along (surfin') baby, wait and see, (surfin' safari). Yes I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Let's go surfin' now, everybody's learning how. Come on and safari with me! (Come on and safari with...) At Huntington and Malibu, they're shooting the pier. At Rincon they're walking the nose. We're going on safari to the islands this year. So if you're coming, get ready to go. Come on (surfin') baby, wait and see, (surfin' safari). Yes, I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Come along (surfin') baby, wait and see, (surfin' safari). Yes I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Let's go surfin' now, everybody's learning how. Come on and safari with me! (Come on and safari with...) They're anglin' in Laguna in Cerro Azul. They're kicking out in Doheny, too. I tell you, surfing's mighty wild. It's getting bigger every day, from Hawaii to the shores of Peru. Come on (surfin') baby, wait and see, (surfin' safari). Yes I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Come along, (surfin') baby, wait and see, (surfin' safari). Yes I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Let's go surfin' now, everybody's learning how. Come on and safari with me! (Come on and safari with...) With me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari.” / And the song ends as all the contestants finally make it to the jungle island that Anti-Cosmo created! Marlene says: “And just like that, the first part of the challenge is done! What kinds of dangers will our contestants have to face on the island BESIDES Bubble Bass and Po?! I don't know, but I'm sure glad that I personally DON'T have to face them! See for yourself when we come back, on this episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!” Reggie asks: “Can I get paid now?” / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!
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    You and I have WAAAY too similar music taste, it's scary.
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    Currently listening to the Best of Donna Summer!
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    Aww I'm happy to be friends with ya, Steel! I've always found you to be awesome and we really need to talk more. I look forward to your masterpiece!
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    Thank you for the acknowledgment, and yes, I still do exist!
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    @Steel Sponge I just wanted to say thanks for mentioning me to your 10 year anniversary shoutout. it was amazing how both of us ended it up being part of SBC after we left TV.com ten years ago. Here's hoping we'll still be around.
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    I thought first 2-part series premiere was really good. liking this kind of style with different theme like pirates. my favorite character is Juliet cause she seems very interesting to me. Looking forward for more.
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    “-But what’s wrong with that? So that’s why I want to live with that pain. because it’s proof he still lives on inside of me.” FLTBC said while the two stared at the grave of Jebediah. “But I’ve only come to feel this way because you and this child are with me.” FLTBC gently felt on her pregnant belly. Enshou turned around and started walking away without a word. “So Enshou, don’t you die in battle and forget me. You must live longer than me and cry when I die.” Enshou reflected deeply on these words as he was moving farther from sight, That was the last time I spoke with her, she said she would continue to live with the pain- FLTBC then punched her stomach as hard as she could, Enshou spun around and ran back to her, getting on his knees. “NOOOOO LIL ENSHOOOUU- though I totally support your decision to yeetus the fetus, FLTBC. Our child would have been an abomination.” He got up and dusted himself off, his little fantasy world collasped as the detectives facepalmed. “Come on why are you trying to add to this world Sir, we got to go! This place is crumbling!” Stephen grabbed a hold of his hand as they all started to bolt it as Jebediah’s mind was crumbling around them, slowly turning back into the void it once was before when he was imprisoned. The ballroom had disappeared, Roberta and Suave quickly opened a portal and flew into it. “WORMY YOU COWARD!” Enshou shouted. “And I thought better of you Sex god.” He crossed his arms. The mortals kept running through the tunnels dungeons, avoding falling debris at every turn. “Haha, see Overlord, the baby bump just was an imaginary pillow!” FLTBC pulled it out from under her dress, Enshou made a shocked Woutuber thumbnail face. “That would explain a lot since we haven’t had sex much after BOD arrived.” Enshou got hit in the head by some debris, knocking out and falling back into Stephen’s arms. “What happens if we don’t make it out in time?!” Haji exclaimed. “Then you’ll all become like me inside a mind! Ooh, more imaginary friends to play with!” FLTBC clapped her hands excitedly. “Yeah we’ll certainly become imaginary if we are crushed to death.” Umibozu got ahead of everyone and slid through the final dungeon cave, suddenly it completely collasped with rocks covering the door. The others stood at the other side of it anxiously worried. “W-What are we gonna do now?” Heiji asked. Umibozu simply punched the landslide of rocks, shattering them into pebbles. “COME ON!” He yelled. They continued outside of the dungeon and into the open air. The sky had turned eerily dark, a great thunderstorm was happening and started to spew off purple and green lightning everywhere. They ran through the village, the ye olde buildings crumbling and falling before their very eyes. FLTBC too immersed in her surroundings that she didn’t notice bricks from one shop were about to fall onto her head. “LOOK OUT!” Kintoki swooped her up and away from the pile. He continued to carry her, looking determined and straight ahead while FLTBC just stared at him in awe. “Come back again brave warriors!” The deteriorating Lord George waved to them as they passed him by. His skin melted off his face and his burnt black bones on his still alive body then crumbled into dust. The world itself was completely crumbling behind each step they took forward, literally trying to beat them before Jebediah’s consciousness would fade. They saw a bright light at the end of the dark void, sprinting even faster. “HOW ARE WE GONNA OPEN IT BOSS?!” Haji yelled. “THE ONE WAY WE KNOW HOW, HAJI. CONTROLLED CHAOS!” Roberta and Suave came out of a portal right at the bright light. They made it larger enough for the mortals to be able to pass through. “Come on! Hurry!” Roberta urged them. “IT’S NOW OR NEVER KIDS!” Heiji yelled. They all stepped inside of it at the same time the final part off Jebediah’s world collasped. The next moment they awoke, they saw Poe was frantically flying over their wet and cold bodies inside the Long Wohn after dragging them all out himself. He pecked at Umibozu’s bald noggin to make sure he was alive but the yato shooed him away. They all groaned as they sat up from the restaurant’s floor. “We really did it..” Stephen rather surprised. He took off his captain’s hat and brushed back his hair. Enshou was sucking his thumb next to him, still peacefully asleep. Heiji put his arms around his protégés in joy. Umibozu got off the ground and walked over to the ice hole, surveying it for himself. He heard a loud thump underneath it, the coffin was sinking lower and lower into the lake until it went through the ground itself, still continuing where he couldn’t see it. He raised an eyebrow but got up from one knee. Kintoki looked down into his arms where FLTBC was. “Where did that lady go...” Kintoki looked around for answers. “Probably back into his conscience.” Stephen looked over at Enshou still sucking his thumb. “C’aww!” Poe trying to drag another person out of the ice hole, getting Umibozu to help him. “What in the hell..” Stephen stood up and approached them. FLTBC loudly coughed as Umibozu gave her his cape to get warmer. “FLTBC..?” “Captain?” She asked back. The detectives then circled her as well. “How is this even possible, she was just an image of Yuka.” Umibozu said staring at her who was just as confused. “Quite the mystery but I say that’s hardboiled mystery solving enough for one day. Who’s up for some Camus and Burgers?” Heiji asked them. “Yeah!” Haji and Kintoki smiled and started to walk away with their boss. “Come on Sir.” Stephen smiled over his shoulder. Enshou then opened one eye up, “FLTBC?” They walked outside the restaurant, casually strolling through the chaos of the drag queens vs the Dakini. “Take this!” Azumi blew a visible kiss in the direction of one of the Dakini. “AAAH, I’M IN LOVE!” The man put a hand to his forehead and overdramatically fell to the ground. Meanwhile inside the restaurant, Jebediah’s purple crystal popped out of the ice hole and into the air, Roberta flew out of a portal and quickly grabbed it. She put it in her bag for safe keeping. She noticed Umibozu standing there looking at her and nodded to him, “I’m gonna collect Jazzy.” He nodded back and watched her as she went back into the portal, disappearing as quickly as she came. Umibozu walked over to the cashier counter and leaned against it for some time. He smiled and decided to wait there until his idiot son returned from whatever he was doing. He had a lot to tell to both his kids once he would see them. Poe flew on his shoudler and cocked his head. “Yeah, yeah. And I’ll take you to the Old Man after I’m done here.” Umibozu gently petted his beak. Stephen and the others had walked off the ice and tread through the snow, still freezing from their wet clothes. They could be heard in the midst of a conversation. “So where do you think you’ll go, Lady?” Stephen asked. Enshou stumbling out of the rink, taking off his boot and dumping the water out of it which had a fish inside of it. He sped walk up to them and pushed his way in between FLTBC and Stephen. “She’ll be living on Burei in the castle with us, Captain. You’ll make a fine edition to one of the tops of my minion army, FLTBC.” He said, she smiled. “Well I already know all there is to know about Buerian politics, Overlord! Maybe I can study abroad for a change.” She replied. “You could study on Earth, there’s lots to learn about how things work here!” Haji chimmed in. “And what better way to learn about Earth than through the eyes of a detective.” Heiji said, Haji and Kintoki turned their heads to him, shocked. “What you did back there was very hardboilian, Lady-san. What do you say? Care to join us and our unending venture for action, justice and tomfoolery?” Heiji smiled as the trio looked at her, Haji and Kintoki were in suspense waiting for a reply. “That sounds wonderful! I’d love to!” FLTBC grinned, Haji and Kintoki cheered. “Wait Boss, we barely have enough room in your tightpacked apartment for the two of us!” Haji said. “Well Genghai-san is always looking for some help around the place. You could stay with us if you like, FLTBC.” Kintoki offered. “I’d love to! Thank you!” She replied back. Enshou’s expression went dark. “...You gotta be fucking kidding me.” He said. “I promise I’ll visit Burei as much as possible, Overlord.” FLTBC kissed him on the cheek, Enshou made an annoyed sigh. “Fine. You better keep your word on that FLTBC. Come on Captain, let’s go celebrate a late Hanukkah.” Enshou then smirked. “Yes Sir!” Stephen pulled out a fully lit candelabra and the two walked away in another direction. The four detectives continued heading into Edo. While on the ice rink both sides were starting to get tired of their fighting but continued on. Tatsuma was gracefully making figure eights through all the mayhem while Mikey looked like he was dying from exhaustion “Ahahahaha! Come on Lieutenant! We gotta break the world record for longest nonstop skating!” Tatsuma cheered him on. “I-I.. I’m gonna pass out now.” Lt Simon collasped in the ice. Somewhere in space with their ship, Mutsu could be seen rolling her eyes. As Ougai was slaying the powerful crossdressers or moreso they were just skating around him pretending to have been slaid, one of his men whispered in his ear.” “Soutatsu was captured..?” He said in shock. Hedoro came gracefully skating up to him. “Well it looks like the Earthlings weren’t as weak and treacherous as you thought, Ougai-san.” Hedoro softly said and Ougai let out a big sigh. “Retreat!” Ougai yelled out to his men, they dropped whatever they were doing. Azumi pulled out a pen and paper from his shirt and wrote out his number to some excited Dakini. The Saigou whistled and the crossdressers dramatically skated out of rink to meet him. “All this action~ has made us tired! What do we do now Mama?” One of them said. At that moment the ice rink started to crack from the sheer amount of abuse it had been suffering and Tatsuma and Mikey bolted out of it just as the ice completely crumbled up into pieces, miraculously and thankfully the restaurant stayed afloat. “That was my only source of entertainment in this entire arc! Now what will we do Lt?” Tatsuma said bummed out. Suddenly the Wurvivor chopper flew above them and Ketsuno pulled out her megaphone. “Follow us and watch the GRAND FINALE OF WURVIVOR LIVE downtown!” The crossdressers and tradesmen eagerly nodded and started to run. Meanwhile the detectives were walking through the city streets now. “You know FLTBC, now that you’re a real person you could totally pick out a name if you like.” Haji said. “Ohh.. a real name. I’d really have to think about that.” She scratched her non-imaginative chin. “You’ll have plenty of time to think of one now, Lady-san. You got the mind of a hardboiled detective.” Heiji said, FLTBC smiled and nodded. Kintoki then excitedly picked FLTBC up in the air and twirled her around. “Oh this is so exciting, now there’s four of us! Who knows all the adventures we’ll have!” Kintoki then opened his eyes and looked directly into hers for the first time, His pupils shrunk, he then realized what he was doing. The android put her down and awkwardly looked away flustered. FLTBC just put a hand to her face and giggled a little. “..This might get a little more awkward than we thought, Boss.” Haji whispered to Heiji who also had made a confused and uncomfortable face. The chopper finally arrived at the center of the city, citizens were lined up behind the ropes and guards of the set. “Wow, I know the city is literally falling apart and we can be murdered in cold blood by several amanto species that hate us but I can’t believe we snagged a spot in front row!” Pakuyasa excitedly said behind one of the barriers to Ikumatsu who smiled. Their hands accidentally touched as they leaned against the railing and they both retracted them, blushing. “Hello everyone and welcome back to the FINALE of the WURVIVOR! Shinsuke, Pirako and Otae our Final Three are all lined up to face the greatest obstacle of the game yet! Climbing Edo’s Terminal Station!” “Is that even legal? Wouldn’t they get killed by an aircraft if they don’t die from the fall?” Tetsuko asked Tatsumi. “Don’t worry babe, we have the entire fire department right here just in case!” Tatsumi kissed her guns. “I can’t believe I got shoved from massive screentime just to see Shinny make an ass of himself on live TV, again. He’s probably gonna lose, anything heigher than 5 foot scares him.” Gintoki said fully decked out in supportive merchandise of Shinsuke’s face and a number one foam finger, Shinpachi’s face just darkened. “Go Boss Lady! Go Pirako-chan! Woo!” Kagura cheered. Pirako, Shinsuke and Otae looked at the building from the base they were at. Otae and Shinsuke looked at it nervously but Pirako spit on her hands and grabbed onto the rope attached to her harnness. The other two followed and so would begin the slow progress for the grand million dollar prize. ———————— “Your Majesty, a gift from your older brother.” A pair of Oukokuan guards dropped a tied up Soutatsu at Barkas’s feet of his castle’s throne room. Barkas raised one eyebrow, Soutatsu was making the same ugly scowling face as usual. “He is being charged for his war crimes on Earth. He also finally admitted to poisoning your father the Royal Highness. What do you wish to do with him?” Soutatsu stared straight ahead of him as Barkas kept looking at the former Shinra leader. “Go on your Majesty, kill me already. My soul has already been dead for a long time.” Soutatsu squinted his eyes. “I don’t think I will..” Barkas then untied his ropes himself. “W-what..” Soutatsu dropped the rope off of him and then stood up. “Why didn’t you kill me, Barkas..” “All these years of army service and yet you still don’t know the meaning of being a soldier, Soutatsu.” The Shinra man raised an eyebrow at these words. Barkas continued to clarify his point. “You have suffered enough, I have suffered enough. Would our fathers want us to continusly engage in our worlds hate against each other? Even if I slain you there would be just another man filled with wrath and revenge in his heart. I am not gonna allow this.” Barkas extended his hand out to Soutatsu who just looked at it in shock. “You’re seriously trusting someone like me again..?” He said rather taken back. Before the blue haired man knew it, he heard a familiar voice behind him. “Soutatsu-san, we can’t do this without you. We’re an united army together against a universe filled with enough enemies.” Ougai crossed his arms. Soutatsu turned around to see, Eren, Fumiko, Enshou with Stephen, Shige, recovering Sooyoung and the Skolexians next to him. “Plus, you like, totally interrupted my Hankukkah subplot. I’m reporting that as antiseptic.” Enshou crossed his arms. “Sir, it’s.. nevermind.” Stephen said. Soutatsu stood there for once without an angry look to him. “So what do you say, Soutatsu?” Barkas asked. Soutatsu stood there for some silent moments before he looked away and extended his hand. Barkas met his and gave him a hearty handshake. Soutatsu finally faced him and gave him a slight smile. The two broke it off and the others came up to them in positive spirits. “So where are we gonna build this new Liberation headquarters of ours, big admiral?” Eren said patting Barkas on the shoulder with his flipper. “I was thinking.. on Shinra.” Barkas smiled at Soutatsu who looked surprised once again but smiled. “I would be honored to.” Soutatsu nodded. Shige went to put his hand on his shoulder but Soutatsu flipped around and pointed a ninja star at him. Everyone stared at him shocked. “Sorry Shogun-sama, force of habit..” He sheepishly put it away. Shige just made a mild chuckle and grabbed him in an unexpected hug. Suddenly Bores, B.H. and Tatakin came hopping in the room, in who also had been tied up to be punished. They fell on their faces, Bores sweared out in frustration. “What about us Boss?” Hercules asked Soutatsu who just loudly sighed. “Well, you three did help me out a lot. After we give Kada-Hime a proper burial you’re free to help us on Shinra with building the headquarters, I guess.” He redundantly said. “LOOKS LIKE ITS TIME FOR A LITTLE CONSTRUCTION BOYS.” Bores broke free from his bindings as did the other two. The trio gave each other a loud high five. “And you ugly peasants all call me the odd ball of the group. Come on Captain, we WILL have our Hanukkah subplot.” Enshou snapped his black acrylic fingers and turned around with his dark cape flowing behind him, Stephen following close. Everyone else there had their faces darkened as he walked away. Fumiko then leaned in to whisper to Soutatsu, “Next time you plan on getting stabby chief, maybe aim it towards that guy.” He nodded in agreement, Barkas’s expression just darkened. Ougai then turned to Sooyoung, “Hey Sooyoung, how are you feeling? You’ve been rather quiet.” She communicated something in his head. “You’re right, with the Tendoshu’s feat you would think we’d be celebrating... But all that happened was the smaller predator was eaten up by the scariest beast on the food chain. And now all the vulnerable is freely open for him to prey upon.” The two leaders continued staring straight ahead as the rest of them were still congratulating Barkas. The screen cuts to a zoom up of Nobunobu closing his phone and putting it back in his shirt pocket. “Welp, looks like Shige headed back to Oukoku after all, they got them blue haired bastard in chains or somethin’. “..Probably should’ve had said that outloud..” He was still aboard the terrorist ship with his little cousin at the mercy of the shipmates. Before he knew it though, Katsura, Matako, Takechi and Elizabeth with the rest of their crew returned to their ship. “Big cous-“ Nobunobu got up defensively in front of Soyo as the terrorists folded their arms. The pressure in that room was intense until Katsura nodded and his crew stepped aside for the royals to exit the front door to the Shinsengumi just outside. Nobunobu nodded back as he met gazes with the terrorist captain right as he stepped out. “Oi come on your highnesses before those crazed extremists pull out weapons.” Hijikata said turning around once the royals were okay. They begun escorting them away from Edo’s bay area and into a private limo with the dogs as well. “Whoever thought we’d see the day when we were working with those greasy piglets, eh Hijikata-san? NobuNobu-sama?” Sougo said, Nobu just looked straight ahead and nodded, knowing exactly what he meant aiming it at him. “Sougo, what the hell are you doing.” Hijikata said as he was driving the car. Sougo had a skull in one hand and a script in the other for reasons this author wasn’t gonna explain either. “Seems like white coats aren’t the only ones willing to bend back rules and come crying for our help when the Bakufu have a bigger threat than us on their backs, huh Katsura-sama?” Matako said as the main terrorists were still leaning on their door. It was silent for a moment. “Sometimes I wonder who’s helping who..” Katsura simply said. His crew begun to reflect on his words as they started heading inside to celebrate their second Christmas together as a united family. “Hey guys, Shinsuke is still hanging in there in the competition!” Kyoushirou said putting back on the television for the rest of the members to watch. Matako with stars in her eyes eagerly ran to the couch as Bansai, Kyuubei, Takechi followed to sit next to the bunch of bandmates. Katsura and Elizabeth were hanging out beside the wall as the Oukoku put back on his Renho disguise. “Long month?” Katsura smiled. -Eh, rather not think about it. A thing of a king’s past as far as this terrorist’s concerned.- Elizabeth shrugged it off. “Elizabeth, I’m really proud of you you know. This has been quite hard for you and I’m not just talking about what happened to your brother. You have dealt with a lot of personal changes in the past year but you put inside all your reserveness and doubts to come out of your shell and help Barkas out. And for that I’m really proud of you.” Katsura put a hand on his best friend’s shoulder. Elizabeth made an embarassed kind of smirk in his costume that he thought thankfully his friend couldn’t see. -Family bonds run much deeper than I ever thought, no matter how many years apart.- Elizabeth and then Katsura looked over at the rest of the crew intensely into the TV program, sharing snacks and cheering on their captain to win. -..I guess that emotion I felt is how you feel with that midget after all those years seperated.- “And I’d feel that way with anyone here if we were seperated, Your Majesty.” Katsura patted him on the shoulder. The warm buzz of conversation around them and Christmas decorations continued inside the boat, Elizabeth briefly looked outside one of the small circular windows and caught a glimpse of a figure idly standing there in the rapid falling snow. He raised an eyebrow. -That’s odd, I thought all the black coats had left by now.- Elizabeth signed, he squinted his eyes trying to make out who it was. Katsura begun looking as well. Once some of the snow storm had cleared, Katsura and Elizabeth could better make out who it was. Katsura’s pupils shrunk. “Nizou...” Katsura softly said. Elizabeth then make a loud whistle with his flippers and beak, getting everyone else’s attention. He gestured them to come closer, their faces went pale as well. “K-Katsura-sama.. how is this possible after Okinawa..?” Matako said fearfully. Katsura furrowed his eyebrows. ———- Yuka could hear the sound of a door creaking open causing her wake up. She slowly opened up where her eyes would be and sat up in bed. She then turned around to see Roberta in her bedroom by her dresser. Yuka pushed up against the headboard in fear, Roberta heard this and turned around, “D-Don’t be frightened! Please. Sorry I was just.. didn’t want to wake you up.. Valentino said I could just pick up Jazzy here. We finally defeated Jebediah.” Yuka looked surprised, not sure if we was more surprised they defeated that nightmare of a Bureian or that Valentino had trusted that woman enough to leave her alone in a room with her. Yuka eased up a little but still kept her guard up. “We’re gonna use Jebediah’s purple crystal to restore the Altana inside Jazzy.” Roberta explained. Yuka nodded a little and then turned her head away. Roberta looked at her for a moment in sorrow but then looked down. The angel then snapped her fingers and the Stairway to Heaven appeared. Roberta looked ahead and begun climbing it, but suddenly Yuka spoke up, “What.. the hell is wrong with you Roberta...” Roberta paused and looked a little confused at this statement. “..How am I suppose to attend to your grave when you’re in and out the living realm now? To an empty casket?” Roberta got tearful not knowing to smile or not if it would offend Yuka, so she just looked down. Yuka misinterpreted it as her being upset with her half-joke. She slithered outof bed and spoke up to ease the awkward tension a bit, “Roberta. I need to be alone. I will be damaged for a very, very long time about everything...please understand.” Roberta felt very surprised at that last part, it almost seemed friendly. “I completely understand. Thanks for even talking to me, Yukes. T-that means a lot, more than you could imagine.” More tears streamed down Roberta’s face as she nodded and continued up departing from her ex-lover once again. Yuka was safe and okay as long as Roberta stayed away, the Skolexian was content with that. But then Roberta shook her head and went back down, Yuka raised an eyebrow where it would be. Roberta snapped off an edge of the crystal and then did a chant. She crushed it in her hands and then blew it into the air. Before Yuka knew it, the purple dust was swirling around her and lifted her up into the air. Roberta put her hand up as the spinning Altana produced a blinding light and then exploded. It safely carried Yuka down to the ground. Yuka opened her eyes to a very familiar sight of her own hands in front of her. “My..my body..” Yuka put her hands on her arms and face in disbelief, looking at herself. Roberta made a shy little smile not looking at her, “It’s amazing what some chants and crystals can do huh, Yukes? Don’t tell the gods learned that trick. We’re on good terms but they might be pissed at me for sacrificing some crystal for Jazzy for you. I could only get it to its previous state but it should hold it up and you’ll probably be able to morph freely!” Yuka got up from the ground, standing some feet away from the other woman. Roberta looked awkwardly around, scratching her neck.” I-I know I can’t exactly resurrect the dead Yukes otherwise I would. But honestly you’re perfect like this too, it has a-always been b-b-beautiful to me-“ “Thank you, Roberta.” Some long moments went by and they broke their hug, a frozen Roberta just walked backwards with the fish bowl and onto the staircase. “I-I.. have to go talk to Sophia..” She uttered out. The two kept a locked view on each other the entire time, Yuka looking somber as Roberta with a look of shock, until she faded away. Yuka then snapped out of it with a surprised expression. “Wait, ...Sophia?” Yuka’s bedroom door then came busting open by a gooey hand. ”SORELLA! Are ya alrite?! I heard a lotta noise comin’ in hereah- S-S-Sorella?! YA BODY IS BACK?! YO SKELS! FEMURSON! GET IN HERAH!” Roberta went back to Heaven, her and Suave were met with a wonderful celebration of raining confetti and cheering people as they got there with the cure for Jazzy. Suave broke away for some time and then came back with a pep in his step, “Father says the purple transfusion will work! Isn’t that great Robes? ..Robes?!” However Roberta was still completely frozen with her look of shock. She put her hands on her chest, the embrace and warm scent of Yuka still lingering on her where the ex-lovers bodies met. Meanwhile on Earth, Valentino had Skele and Femurson knelt down in playful headlocks. “I’m tellin’ ya! We gotta go hit up tha pizza joint across tha street and celebrate with a cheesy holiday pie! Dis is a Christmas miracle! Whatya say, Yukes? .. Yukes?!” Yuka had a blank expression as she kept staring at the wall where the stairway previously was, her mind not even on her restored physical state or Valentino and the others babbling about. After some time she let out a slight smile. —————- Oboro was digging his feet into the sand of a secluded beach as the sounds of seagulls and waves crashing and splashing were very apparent. His knees were up to his chest as he was in a deep thought. “Who knew Sensei could travel at will to a place like this.. Or who knew I could.” Oboro had been there for several hours already, but felt like his medication was only just beginning. The fact he even got to that location with mere simple actions and thoughts was alarming. If he could do this so easily, how would the rest of his powers change the world once he tapped into them? Did he even want to tap into something that enormously dangerous and possibly unlimited? He couldn’t even face the Sensei of the past at the moment because like how he fixed the unraveling of the universes by himself, he had to do this again by himself otherwise he wouldn’t grow as a person. As he was getting more lost in the deep end of his mind, he thought he heard a peculiar faint buzzing sound in the back of his subsconscious. He shrugged it off merely as an illusion and resumed his train of thought. But the sound gradually become less faint and less like a buzz. Oboro paused all his thoughts to address the noise which was increasingly becoming stressful for him. He furrowed his eyebrows and put his hands to his forehead, trying to concentrate on it. That’s when he heard it, his entire body went cold and numb. He lost any sort of realization he had on the outside world on the bone chilling familiar tone of that voice... that damn, cursed voice.. “Hello Oboro.~” “Jebediah-dono.. How could that truly be you? Your soul is imprisoned inside a void.” Oboro said very serious and uneasily now. “We share blood my dear Oboro. As they say, blood runs thicker than water. Your Sensei also had these powers with me.” “I-impossible..” Oboro stood up from the sandy floor looking around the palm trees of the tropics. “Hmmm?~ He never told you? Well get use to all the things he failed to mention to his ‘prized first student’. Such as the fact we were in regular contact all these centuries. Especially during Okiwana! We talked endlessly during that time.” If Oboro didn’t have chill sweats and a pale face, he certainly did now. “What do you want Jebediah-dono...” Oboro regained his composure and now fearlessly stared at the sky. “Relax. I don’t want anything, at the moment at least. But remember...” Jebediah said this last part rather seriously and paused drawing the white haired man’s attention even more. “I may not input myself in your most critical trials to come ahead. I may not talk to you for days, weeks, months, years, centuries, millennia.. But I will always be there. Whenever you feel like I have finally given up on you, when you have a quiet rest after a long day, whenever you are peacefully sound asleep, I will be there to communicate through our minds interlinked together for all eternity of your immortality. You will never ever even for a moment forget who I am, Oboro. I am greater than you, I am greater than your teacher or I am greater anyone who has ever lived and died inside or outside the comic book. And the wrath of my revenge on its universes will be greater than any reset or unravel imaginable. With that I bid you farewell Keeper of Peace. Enjoy the beaches of Bermuda, I’ve heard they’re lovely this time of year.” Jebediah was silent after this, Oboro fell to his knees and stared at the skies surrounding the Triangle. ——————— “Hey can you not vacuum so loud? Geez.” Billy said as he laid about on the couch as Ungyou vacuumed under his feet. Ungyo just stared ahead and kept cleaning. Then a portal opened and an individual stepped outside of it. “Wormy Mommy!” Gedomaru got up from the living room and hugged her around the waist. Roberta returned it. “Aah, almost forgot.” She handed over the Bang skull to the kid. “Perfect! Thank you!” Gedomaru excitedly clutched onto it and put it on top of her skull throne. Billy painfully sat up on the couch and looked over it. He turned back around and resumed watching the TV, grabbing the remote to flip through the channels. “Nice outfit Wormy, but your little girlfriend is that a way.” Billy lazily pointed to the ceiling. Roberta stepped in fromt of his plasma tv, still smirking. “Yo your stupid slimey worm body is blocking my football!” She then turned off screen’s power button, Billy scrambled up. “HEY!” “You honestly weren’t gonna tell me. Were you Bills?” Roberta crossed her arms. “How stupid your get up is? Congratulations, did you get your wings?” He said sarcastically. He went to pick up the remote but she snatched it from him and his face darkened. “They made me a Cherub actually.” He looked a little surprised but laid back in the sofa again. “You gave your Pops a tremendous amount of energy to fuel that last dream catcher, didn’t you? That wasn’t just all of his power alone.” “That would explain why Billy-sama is acting more of a lazy ass than usual.” Gedomaru stated from her throne. Ungyo was wrapping up the cord of the vacuum in the corner but nodded agreeingly. Billy squinted his eyes. “UHHH ‘NEWSFLASH’ as your caterpillar crawlin’ ass always says, I was stuck here the entire time. How could I even have reached that Old Fart up there if I’m banished forever from there?” He asked. “You tell me. It’s like you’ve said before Bills, you and your brothers are all connected, you can sense when something is wrong. Daddy’s little favorite temporarily was in telepathic connection with him.” “Tsssk.” Billy sunk even deeper in the couch and rolled on his stomach. “Even if that was true, it’s not like those stuck ups would ever acknowledge what I did for them this time.” He buried his head in arms into the arm of the sofa. “I didn’t come here just to pass some greetings, dude. I came to bring you to the celebration ceremony in Heaven.” At this Gedomaru and Ungyou looked very surprised. Billy peaked his eye out of his arms and then slowly stood up from it. “What did you just say..?” He asked. Roberta just sighed and put her hands on his shoulders. “Billy, you have done a lot for me over the years. More than I ever deserved. You never gave up on me even when the entire universe had. You and I are both in the same in so many ways that it was only fair that I showed the amount of trust, faith and love you showed to me back to everyone else to prove who you truly are. You’re a damn hero Billy. There, you got me to finally say it you assface.” Billy made a sort of chuckling smirk and put a hand to his face. The angel walked away from the living room, snapped her fingers and the Stairway to Heaven appeared just beside the poker table. “You deserve more than anyone else to walk up these stairs with me to the party. Now, are you gonna join me and visit your recovering Fishy bro?” Billy finally wiped his hand off his face. “I don’t think I’d exactly fit up there, Robes.” But before he knew it, Gedomaru and Ungyou had locked their arms around each of his. The God looked caught off guard. “That makes four of us, then.” Gedomaru stated. Billy stared at the staircase for a long moment and begun to walk chained together with his friends as Roberta joined in. “Can’t believe you bozos talked me into this.” Roberta and the other two smiled at these words. The four took the first step up and slowly worked their way up to the clouds high above. ———— “Welcome back to the exciting conclusion of Wurvivor!” Ketsuno exclaimed as the crowds around her cheered. “Don’t look down Shinsuke.. don’t look down...” He kept telling himself. The three of them were now half way up the chrome terminal. It was quite tiring but at least they weren’t strangers to climbing after their previous ice challenge. Even as a trained samurai use to hardship, Shinsuke’s legs were getting a pounding by the stress onto them. “Gotta... do this for Honey..” Pirako had Otae and Shinsuke beat by some feet, but her zealous efforts were starting to catch up with her. She slacked back for a few moments catching her breath, Otae used this pause to take a big stride upwards. Both the black and white coats arrived to the scene after they dropped off the royals to a secret place of safety once the castle could be repaired. Hijikata took out a cigarette once stepping out of the car and shook his head st the event. “I don’t know how this was approved.” He said. “The Shogun-sama is quite a Wurvivor fan, so that’s how. Though us white coats being assigned to work down here with you filthy coats instead of being with them is a crime in itself.” Isaburo said fastly typing Nobume who was watching said royals somewhere. Hijikata let out an annoyed click and looked away. “Now then Lady Who Shall be Named Later-“ Heiji started. “I would have went with FLTBA Boss. Fake Lady To Be Announced!” Haji chimmed in. “You see Jebby, what is the first thing you do?” He asked. The four were in one of Genghai’s abandoned sheds filled with all sorts of gadgets. “Uhh, Uhh. Buy him some Camus. No. Take his wallet! No.. Stare at the wall! No.... Call his bird friends to help him sing a little tune and sweep the Overlord’s Dark Castle of Doom. Darn!” She snapped her fingers in disappointment. Heiji got behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. “Come on kid, you got this.. Remember your hardboilian training of twenty minutes since our last subplot ended.” He urged her. She took a deep breath in and eyed the Jebby bag. “Okay..” She put up her boxing gloves again but right as she was about to punch it, she pulled out a coconut cream pie out of nowhere onto the bag instead. “SPLAT! ACME BOMB!” FLTBC threw an old timey bomb at it and it blew up. “WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP!” She spun around on the heels of her shoes and then rolled up her sleeve while scrunching her face at the mutilated bag. “WHHHY I OUGGHTTA... PUT ‘EM UP! PUT ‘EM UP!” She circled her fists around. “Nyuck Nyuck Nyuck. Exit left, stage right!” She got in a frozen motion to run away. “WILMAAAAA!” She fell to the floor dramatically, looking at the gods heavens above. Heiji and Haji clapped impressed, their eyes watering up. Heiji wiped a proud tear from his eye. “-BLUSH ACTIVATED.-“ The two turned to flustered Kintoki who sheepishly covered up the sensors voice box inside of his abodemen. “Boss, look! It’s almost time for end of the Wurvivor Arc!” Haji pointed to her Wickey Wouse gloves watch. “Great Scott, kids! That’s enough training for one day, we gotta vamoose!” Heiji pulled out a black hole from his cartoon pocket, he then grabbed all three of them with one arm and jumped into it. They jumped out of it, Kintoki landing in Haji’s strong child arms. “Nice catch!” He said, she smiled and put him down. “Dear God... this large of a crowd makes me miss the Wacy’s Thankgiving Parade.” Heiji dropped his cigar from his mouth and on the floor. However, he didn’t know it a parked gasoline tank truck was next to him. It fell in a puddle of leaking oil and then burst into flames. The flames then caught the truck on fire, exploding it into the air and sending it straight into the terminal, which started to catch on fire. “BOSS!!!!!” Haji yelled. “I-I.... BARELY DID ANYTHING! Why do these things keep happening to us!?” Haji blubbered, falling to the floor. Kintoki then slapped him. “You gotta snap out of it Boss! Sorry, I didn’t mean to slap you. But in times of situations like this its at our upmost we focus on the safety citizens of Edo at hand. I don’t make it a habit of using physical violence, except of course if it involves self defe-“ Haji proceeded to slap Kintoki and FLTBC slapped him as well a seconds later. “Sorry I thought this was another training exercise!” She said. “We got to evacuate all the citizens here. Someone’s got to get to the chopper to rescue the Wurvivor contestants!” Hijikata ordered his men who begun filing out. Isaburo begun ordering out his men as well. Sougo ran up to them, panting. “Hijikata-san! I think one of our men already got to the chopper.” The man told him. They squinted their eyes and behold the individual. “SAITOU-SAN WAIT!” Hijikata and Sougo yelled but it was too late, the chopper came spiraling down back to Earth as people were screaming and running away. The impact firey explosion was heading fast for the citizens. Gintoki grabbed Kagura as him and Shinpachi were running for their damn lives. “OIII THIS IS NOT WHAT TOTALLY MAIN CHARACTERED FOOOOOORRR!” Gintoki screamed out as the fire was coming up quickly behind them. “That was the last of the choppers after Saitou did that the last arc too..” Sougo said to Hijikata as they were just staring at the roaring blaze of the downtown city. Hijikata clenched his hands in his hair in disbelief of the level of escalation this was happening at. “We got to help our fellow officers. Kids you know what to do!” Heiji said. “On it Boss!” The trio replied back and got into formation. “WAIT BOSS THIS IS RIDICULOUS THIS WON’T SAVE THE FIRES!” Haji yelled. “I GOT IT!” Tetsuno blasted Heiji with gallons of water out of visible view.. “THAT’S NOT GONNA HELP ANYTHING EITHER!!” Haji exclaimed. “I got an idea, Vice Chief!” Tetsu then ran back into the fiery downtown. “TETSU WAIT!” Isaburo started to run after him. “Don’t look down..” Shinsuke then glimpse to see a bright orange light and then smelled smoke. “DON’T LOOK DOWN DON’T LOOK DOWN. DEAR GOD WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE A HEIGHTS CHALLENGE?!” “What is he screaming about down there now.” Pirako said finally catching up back to Otae. The two then looked down, their surprises were shocked. “Woah where did that fire come from, bro?!” “Oh my this doesn’t seem like a part of the challenge.” Otae commented back. Shinsuke was visibly sobbing. “Unless it is a challenge..” Piracho scratched her chin and then begun reclimbing. “Pirako-chan, I don’t think-!” Otae tried to say but the woman was already further away. She shrugged. “Well, maybe it is.” Isaburo was still chasing Tetsu through the downtown as the buildings close to the terminal were busting with flames. “Testu where are you going?! Damn it. What the hell are you doing you oaf..” Isaburo tried to avoid thinking about the extreme heat he was facing all around him and to focus on the task at hand. He then saw it far above in the smokey distance, Tetsu had been knocked by some debris that had fallen off one of the buildings. “TETSUUU!” The white coat sprinted even faster, despite the heat becoming more intense. He crouched down to Tetsu’s body and started frantically picking off the heavy pieces off of him. “I-Isaburo..?” Tetsu said while opening up one eye. “I can’t feel my legs..” He mumbled out. Isaburo ignored him and tried to heave up a piece of ceiling. “This last piece is too heavy for me to lift up alone, you got to help me Tetsu.” Isaburo grunted. “LISTEN! Don’t fall asleep on me now!” “Isaburo.. I’m sorry.. I thought I could take matters into my own hands but I just proved to be a nuisance to you as always.. Maybe you had the right to want to kill me back then.” He coughed, spacing out again. Isaburo begun tearing up. “No.. Testu.. you are not a nuisance to me.. I’m the nuisance to you. I should be the one being killed. And I should have told you how much you’ve meant to me. But all I have done growing up is pushed you away because I felt embarrassed. When in reality I feel the exact opposite now.” Isaburo’s tears begun running down, Tetsu made a somber and surprised expression, forming tears of his own. “I love you.. And we’re gonna get out of here, Tetsu. Now help me lift this, okay?” “O-O-Okay..” Tetsu even though he was very weak pushed upward with it with the strength he had left. He knew he couldn’t leave this world and his big brother now. The two finally pushed it off of him and embraced in a big sobbing hug. “I love you too.. Isaburo..” After they broke from the embrace, Isaburo managed to piggyback him slowly out of there. But smoke was becoming more intense on their lungs, Isaburo begun coughing up blood and collasped underneath Tetsu. Tetsu laid there, just only able to stare at the pure grey smog above his head. He shakingly pulled out his phone and pressed a number. “Just what I was looking for, a signal. I hope you will hear this... Don’t worry big bro, I’m gonna get us both to safety.” Tetsu begun coughing up harder and harder until he eventually closing his eyes, the camera fading to black with him. But then suddenly he woke up with someone shouting out his name next to him. “Don’t worry, my ping pong buddy. Jackie will get you to safety!” Jackie had the ladder of his emergency chopper lowered down, Tetsu smiled before passing out again. He loaded them on there with the sheer strength of his upper bodder strength and laid them down. He then pressed a button on his Dragoncopter and the bottom of it opened up with a giant water balloon twice its size. “Taste the flames power of a REAL dragon evil arson!” He pressed it again and it dropped down below onto the terminal and buildings around it, instantly pulling it out. The citizens on the outskirts of town cheered but Shinpachi’s face went paled “SISSSTTTERRRR!” He screamed. However he then heard the sound of the Dragoncopter above him. He looked up and Jackie slid down the ladder. “Do not worry Shinpachi-san!” Jackie smiled, “..How do you know my name..” He said in a monotone. Pirako, Otae and Shinsuke peaked out of the chopper, Shinpachi made a smile of relief. Meanwhile close by the hardboilian detectives were being arrested by the Shinsen and placed in cuffs. “Didn’t Enshou tell us Jebediah killed him?” Kintoki asked as they were escorting them to a car. “Who knows, our Lord works in mysterious ways.” Heiji said quoting the good frenchie himself. Haji made a sigh of despair at their situation her Boss lead them in. “And to think, this happened on such a beautiful sunny day!” FLTBC exclaimed but then gasped. “HHHH! That’s it! I’ll call myself Sunny!” Sunny said as they were pushed inside the squad car. “Hey guys! Look even the writers are usin-“ The door slammed behind them and begun driving them away. Isaburo and Tetsu had been brought down by Jackie and stared at each other from their stretchers. They made little smiles as they were being loaded into the ambulance. Pirako, Otae and Shinsuke were sitting on the ground covered in warm blankets and drinking hot chocolate. Ketsuno walked up to them with two camera men. “I’m so sorry for what happened you three!” She then turned to the cameras. “Folks, we have just witnessed the first ever Wurvivor ending in tragedy.” “But we’re still alive, so like. Who won?” Pirako asked. “Yeah who won?” Shinsuke asked the host. “Well technically none of you did make it to the top. And the challenge was to reach the top of the Terminal.” She plainly said. The three contestants faces went dark at her. “But to avoid any...” She put a hand over her mic and made a gesture to stop rolling and whispered. “Legal issues..” She made another gesture to resume filming, “We’re gonna have a rock paper scissors competition for whatever money in the suitcase that wasn’t burnt on the top of the terminal!” Their faces went dark again. “Who the HELL puts the grand prize up there?!” Pirako said. The trio sighed and begun to play the game with each other. Pirako started with Shinsuke, he threw paper and she threw rock. “NO!” She exclaimed. “YES!” Shinsuke said. He turned to Otae who threw up scissors as he threw up paper. “Damn...” Ketsuno then picked up Otae’s hand high in the sky. “WINNER OF EDO’S WURVIVOR, SHIMURA OTAE!” “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe it!” Otae smiled big as she put her hands to her fade in disbelief. She stood up, Ketsuno got the mostly burnt suitcase handed to her by the director. She slowly opened it up to see the contents. “Huh, twenty-five thousand dollars, it’s not a million but it’s still pretty great!” “Well there you have it folks! Several grueling weeks of intense challenges and incredible players finally led up to an extreme devastating turn out of events that somehow ended on a very positive note! Tune in next time for more unpredictably and drama, here on WURVIVOR!” Ketsuno waved off her cameras. They wrapped it up and then went to get hot cocoa somewhere else. Shinsuke and Pirako got up annoyed and walked away as well. Otae sat there looking at the money as Yorozuya slowly came inching up behind her. “Oi, that would be uhhhh, a perfect amount to you know for rebuilding the work place for your little precious brother...?” Gintoki said. “Alright, Gin-san. I’ll give you the funds to rebuild the Snack Bar and Odd Jobs.” Otae answered. “Wow, really Sis?!” Shinpachi smiled big. “You’re the best Boss Lady!” Kagura collasped her arms around the woman in joy. “W-wow that was easier than I thought.” Gintoki said rather surprised. “But you have to do a favor for me.” Otae said smiling with her eyes closed. “Sure anything, I mean anything for the person who did this for us.” Gintoki scratched his hand on his neck, chuckling it off. The scene cut to the Shimura dojo, the Odd Jobs were sitting merrily at a table when Otae came out of the kitchen with loads of plates and containers filled with mysterious and scary burnt up food. “Try all my recipes from this new cookbook I got!” She smiled and brought out many more after that. “Anything but this.” Gintoki said in a painful tone. Meanwhile Josh, Joe and Steve were inside Mr. Salt’s house and were flipping through the comic book to get to the right page with Edo. “Boy am I glad to finally be on winter break!” Josh said with a smile on his face. “Well a break after a month’s straight of work would do us good. Steve said stretching his arms. “Aw, that’s finally the spirit Stevey!” Joe pointed his finger to the right location. They begun saying their ska-dooes. “I wonder if we missed anything important while we left.” Josh wondered. “Nah, the holidays are usually pretty calm around this time of year.” Joe answered. They begun shrinking and teleporting inside. Their jaws dropped at what laid before them. Tatsumi was continuously hosing down the already put out burnt buildings, the city was completely evacuated and barren of other people. In the corner of their eye they can see the posh golden castle that overthrew Kada’s still there, glitzy and overshadowing the rest of the city. Hijikata came casually walking up to them scribbling some notes for reports. “Oh there you three are, man you missed the biggest disaster we ever had.” Hijikata said with little concern. Joe went to open his mouth, “St-“ “Don’t even say it.” Steve said and the audience laughed. The screen cut to some days later, the detectives were standing on trial for burning the entire city down. “In my defense I had to use real illegally imported cigars, I’d look too old to juul.” Heij said. The judge narrowed his eyes and then banged his gavel. The four were thrown into Edo’s Maximum Prison and had the door slammed behind them. “LEMME OUT LEMME OUT!” ... The Looney Tunes ending card zoomed out to reveal to be on an old timey antenna TV. A pair of silk glove hands were slowly clapping in front of it as the credits to the authors were being played. The individual snapped their fingers and the TV disappeared. They sat down and took a sip of their tea in the vast emptyness imprisoning them. “What a delightful display of comedy those people in Edo made since my absence.” Jebediah closed his eyes, savoring every moment of it. “Mmmm.~ My dear, dearest dear.” He looked down in his teacup, the image of FLTBC’s face appeared in the leaves. “The seed I have planted has just begun. You were my demise and one day I shall make you the demise of the entire real world you now live in. All of you will remember that day marked as the universe’s armageddon and my revelation.” Jebediah made a humming laugh. His teacup and plate disappeared and he got up from the ground. He politely bowed. “Shall I have this dance?” He begun dancing with himself, he twirled around, the camera facing his back as the scene transitions into his back again but this time a long time ago. He was ballroom dancing this time with a woman who he was a stranger to. When their dance led them near the balcony doors, Jebediah took this as an excuse to finally be free. He let go of the woman’s hands but courteously bowed to her and then quickly dashed outside to the balcony. He hung on the railing and wiped his forehead drenched with sweat. “Finally broke away?” The other person there across from him said. Jebediah stood back up and regained his composure. He stared at the dark glow of the night at his kingdom’s castle. “You’re usually quicker at parties to ditch the crowds, Jebby.” “I’ve just never really been a fan of dancing, especially with women I never met. I just wish people wouldn’t care about it so much.” He spoke out his natural accent. He uneasily wringed his hands. “Oh I don’t care that you’re into men too, Jebby.” The lady joked, Jebediah’s face grew dark. “Remind me why you’re here Professor before I toss you and your labcoat over the railing...” Jebediah said in a monotone. “Such the shy and reserved man finally cracking a joke, you invited me here Jebs!” She smiled and jokingly punched his shoulder. She then looked a bit more serious and sighed. Jebediah turned to face her as she stared at the sky. “I’m guessing you and your team haven’t found any change in the atmosphere, Zara.” He said and she ran her hand through her hair. “It’s deteriorating at an even quicker rate than we expected.” She turned around and slouched up against the railing. “Jebs, we’ve been friends for a long time haven’t we? I’m gonna give it to you straight, with all the strains of war and pollution this damn planet won’t survive another thirty, maybe even less than twenty years.” Jebediah pinched the bridge of his nose in grief. There was a brief dreadful silence as inside the bright castle it was bursting with joyfulness and partying. “Despite everything Burei has accomplished for millennia after millennia, evolution, enlightenment, arts, intellect.. and yet we still act like damn cavemen killing our own kind and for what? None of us will be able to remember once we’re all bloody dead.” Jebediah’s concentration was broken as Zara was chuckling at him. “What’s so funny..?” “What the hell is that accent at the end of what you said?” Zara asked him and then they both broke out into laughter, cutting the tension. “Oukoku has been meddling with this planet from a close by solar system lately, they call themselves Earth. Quite fascinating cultures really, especially those British chaps.” Jebediah’s light up with joy for the first time Zara saw that night. He realized he had still been doing the accent and awkwardly stopped it. “Quite fascinating!” She imitated his dialect inflections and flicked her wrist, they laughed a little again. It was silent again as they stared at the smoggy polluted sky even visible at night through the capital city. “Jebediah.. we will get through this. Even if we have to leave Burei, we’ll all stick together.” “Zara, that will never be an option for me. Do you know what I have done since I became king? Really a whole lot of nothing. What people say about me, even what you joke about me, is right. I’m a reserved man, shy and quiet to the touch. I’m a coward who didn’t deserve this title when he recieved it five years ago. But..” Jebediah looked farther into the bright distant lights of the skyscrapers. “But if I shrink back and let this world rot out, then I’d be the biggest coward of them all.” Zara took a surprised look at him. “Jebediah.. You’re not a coward, you have the heart. Not the scientific facts, but the heart.” She sighed and put her hands in her coat pocket. “But heart won’t cut it in this case.” “Prof, have you heard the rumors lately about those extraterrestrials from out of this solar system? Pointy ears and green skin, not like our similar neighbors mind you. Legends of straw hat men who have these incredible supernatural capabilities. We just barely know the universe outside our system, so many aliens to know and find out about.” Jebediah said, Zara just raised a Buerian eyebrow. “Jeb as your best friend, I know you have an active imagination but you honestly don’t believe in those rumors, do you? Crazy aliens from another space with powers to make miraculous miracles?” She asked. “Who knows..” Jebediah looked intensely into the horizon and then squinted his eyes. “-maybe we could use a miraculous miracle right now.” He looked at Zara again who met his gaze. “Would you care for a dance, Professor?” “Really? I thought you were uncomfortable with dancing with a burning passion, Jebby.” She said raising an eyebrow and smiling. “What’s with this all of a sudden.” “Call it something to distract our minds for the moment.” He replied. She just shrugged, “Sure.” He then took her hand and the two lightly whirled around on the balcony of that moonlit night centuries ago. Jebediah twirled around his future wife and he spun around as well, the camera on the back of his coat until it switched to his modern day one. Present day Jebediah continued to sway around alone as the camera slowly zoomed out revealing the immense darkness of the void once again. TBC
  32. 1 point
    I making amino acid puns, tho most arent a trypto-fan of them?
  33. 1 point
    We're doing the SB Musical on Cy tomorrow night. Check the calendar event for details, and don't miss out!
  34. 1 point
    “Dancing in the Dark” - Bruce Springsteen
  35. 1 point
    Presenting a very crude take on what is perhaps the most popular game in the SpongeBob SquarePants library! A teacher with murder in her eyes, socks in questionable condition, oblitherating the fourth wall like there's no tomorrow and lots and lots of screaming! What more could you ask for? Are ya ready kids? Probably not, but let's go anyway! Literally just a random idea for a spin-off/lit (it's based on SB but on a game, so...does that still qualify for Spin-Off status? I am confused. ) that hit me the other day when I woke up and I was like, "Damn, let's do it and see what happens." Basically, it's gonna be a lot of stupid fun. Like...really stupid, goofy fun. I am calling it "Nonsensical" for a reason. Unlike a lot of what I usually write, this is way more laid back and goofy in nature and just provides me an opportunity to be free as I virtually take the mickey out of a beloved video game. Rated PG-13 because it turns out I am a sailor mouth when it comes to stupid fun and I don't want to take any chances with a lower rating. In terms of the actual content, it's not really gonna delve into anything explicitly violent/sexual, hence why I've opted for PG-13 as opposed to Mature. Will upload the first chapter - the opening - soon enough. Again, this will be weird...this will be stupid...but that is the point...because...why not? No sponges, sea stars or squirrels were harmed during the conceptualization of this written work. Unfortunately said sponge, sea star and squirrel did cause emotional harm to an octopus on set.
  36. 1 point
    Been back at uni for only a week and I've realized how much of an armchair contrarian I am when it comes to my course every opportunity I can get. Three straight hours bitching about an assignment with somebody else has definitely been a highlight of my week though, so I can't complain.
  37. 1 point
    Here we go. This works as a nice homage to the POTC film series, but I also threw in my own fresh spins and expansions which you'll see the more we go along. This is a huge growth from my spin-offs over a decade ago. This will be a lot more mature than SR and MG, but still fun enough for everyone. Enjoy. 1. Pirate's Life: Part I … In the past, an ominous, murky fog is shown covering a large sea. A large, bronze navy ship emerges from the fog, named the HMS Dauntless. Aboard it are several Royal Navy soldiers from a far off land. A singing is heard as the ship grows closer. “Drink up me hearties, yo ho! We pillage and plunder, and loot and thieve! Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me…” a girl, named Juliet, sung. As she sings, a hand clutches her shoulder, startling her. She turns around to see a man wearing a dark leather jacket. “Quiet, miss Rose! Cursed pirates sail these treacherous waters. You don’t want to bring ‘em to us.” The man warned her. “Mr. Higgs, that’ll do.” A navy lieutenant said to the man known as Higgs. “She was singin’ about pirates. You and I both know it’s bad luck to be singing about pirates, lieutenant, especially in this eerie fog. Mark my words.” Higgs explained, looking out at the foggy ocean worried. “Consider them marked. On your way now.” The lieutenant replied. “Aye, sir.” Higgs replied, and gets back to his deck swabbing duties. He pulls out a flask and superstitiously takes a quick drink from it. “I think it would be awesome to meet a pirate!” Juliet said eagerly, thinking about them. “Think again, miss Rose. Vile and disobedient creatures, those scoundrels are. I will personally see to it that anyone sailing under a pirate flag or wearing the pirate brand will get what they deserve: a swift drop and sudden stop.” The lieutenant replied sternly, as this makes Juliet nervous and sad. Higgs is seen gleefully miming a pirate being hung to Juliet, trying to cheer her up. “Lieutenant Tyrell, I appreciate your ambition to hunting pirates, but I am a tad concerned about the effects this subject will have on my daughter…” Juliet’s father, Isaac Rose, spoke to the lieutenant known as Tyrell. “My apologies, Ambassador Rose.” Tyrell replied. “Actually, I find it all fascinating.” Juliet replied. “That’s what concerns me…” Isaac replied, sighing. Suddenly, from out of the fog, a parasol is seen floating in the water. Juliet watches it in curiosity, seeing it bounce off the ship’s hull. She then sees something even more curious: a teenage boy emerges from the fog, who is on his back, unconscious. “Look, there’s a boy in the water!” The girl shouted, surprising the crew. Isaac and Tyrell both look out from the ship’s side, spotting him too. “Man overboard! Grab the ropes, fetch a hook! Haul him on board!” Tyrell ordered to his men. The sailors scramble to get the boy aboard, as they manage to get him out and lay him on the deck. “He’s still breathing.” Tyrell checked. Higgs looks into the fog and spots a truly haunting sight he will never forget. “Mother of Neptune…” Higgs said, worried. Higgs’ fear turns everyone on board’s attention from the boy to the sea, which is no longer empty. Debris and wreckage from a ship is scattered all over the water. Whatever remains of the hull burns, and the tattered flag floats in the murky waters. “…What in blazes happened here?” Isaac asked. “Most likely the powder magazine. Merchant vessels do tend to run heavily armed.” Tyrell speculated. “Lot of good it did 'em…look, we’re all thinking it, so I’ll say it! It was pirates who did this!” Higgs said, worrying the crew. “There is no proof of that. It could have just been an unfortunate accident.” Isaac replied. “Rouse the captain, immediately!” Tyrell ordered to a sailor, and then ordered to his crew, “Heave to and take in sails! Launch the boats!” “Juliet, I want you to accompany this boy. He’ll be in your watch, take care of him.” Isaac ordered her. Juliet nods, as I watches her move away. A small boat with several sailors on it rows its way toward the wreckage ahead. The boy lays motionless on the deck, as Juliet is beside him. Suddenly, he grabs her wist, as he Is now awake. Their eyes lock, as she takes his hand in hers. “It’s okay. My name’s Juliet Rose.” Juliet introduced. “…Sawyer Turner.” Sawyer introduced, looking around at his setting. “I’m watching over you, Sawyer. It’s okay.” Juliet replied. “I don’t need no watchin’, but thanks for the concern.” Sawyer replied somewhat ungrateful. He then slips back into unconsciousness, and the movement has opened the clear of his shirt. There is a chain around his neck. Juliet tugs it free, revealing a mysterious gold medallion. She takes the medallion from around his neck. One side of it is an ominous skull glaring at her. To Juliet’s limited view, this can only mean one thing. “…He’s a pirate?” Juliet wondered. “Has he said anything?” Tyrell asked, as Juliet whirls to see him behind her. She craftily hides the medallion behind her back. “His name is Sawyer Turner, that’s all he would say.” Juliet repelled to him, managing to successfully hide her discovery. Tyrell nods and then turns to some of his crew. “Take him below.” Tyrell ordered, as he moves off. Juliet goes to the stern of the ship and examines her treasure: the mysterious gold medallion. An eerie wisp of wind then blows through the air, making her look up. Moving through the fog, silent as a phantom, appears a large sailing galleon ship, waving its ominous black sails. Juliet stares at it, too scared to move or cry out. A jolly roger flag flies from the top. Juliet looks from the jolly roger to the medallion, noticing the skull on the flag is the same as the one on the medallion. Fog engulf the black ship, except for its flag. As Juliet watches, it appears as if the skull seems to turn and grin at her. She then shuts her eyes tight. … Flash forward to 8 years later, in the present day. The scene opens to a large island archipelago called the Enhalas. Enhalas is seen as a dangerous, largely unexplored “no man’s land” by most of the ocean world, as it’s ruled over by pirates, outlaws, bounty hunters, and supernatural entities. Any “laws” there are nigh impossible to enforce. For centuries, many powerful factions from multiple countries have tried to conquer the area, but failed. It is foretold that whoever rules Enhalas will control the entire ocean. On the ocean horizon, a mast comes into view against the sky. Standing atop the yardarm in swashbuckling splendor is a sharply dressed, lone pirate. He gazes keen-eyed at the HMS Dauntless in the distance, which looms into a port on a large island nearby. His attention is then draw to something below, as he leads from the yardarm to the rigging. He drops below, as his boots splash into the foot of water filling the hull of the small dory, named the Jolly Mon, he is riding, which only has a single sail. There are multiple holes in the bottom of the dory, as it is slowly sinking. The pirate sloshes through the small dory, picks up a bucket, and starts shoveling out what he can. The dory keeps sailing, as the pirate takes quick notice of the skeletal remains of three pirates hanging from gallows on a rocky promontory. A fourth, unoccupied noose bears a sign: “PIRATES NOT WELCOME - YE BE WARNED.” The pirate is undeterred by this, as the dory slips past the gallows. The pirate jumps to his feet and removes his hat. He gazes at the pirate skeletons and empty noose, paying a moment of respect. The pirate keeps sailing what remains of the dory to the large island port nearby. The port, dominated by the HMS Dauntless, bustles with activity as many people reside on the island. A port worker spots the pirate’s bucket floating in the water, and looks over just in time to see the pirate on top of the sinking crow’s nest. He nonchalantly steps directly onto the dock, as the dory sinks behind. The pirate strolls past the port worker. “Hey, hold up there! It’s two shillings to tie up your boat at the dock.” The port worker said. The pirate casts a dubious glance back at the sunken dory’s mast, which is sticking out of the water. “Also, I will need to know your name.” The port worker added, as he opens a ledger and holds it up. The pirate then tosses five shillings onto the ledger. “What do ye say to five shillings and we forget the name, eh?” The pirate bargained, winking to the port worker. The port worker considers, and then shuts the ledger. “Welcome to Port Royale, sir, or “Mr. John”.” The port worker said, smiling, as he quickly moves off. The pirate acknowledges the welcome, moves past the port worker’s desk, and spots a small money bag sitting on top of it. He picks up the bag and shakes it. Pleased to hear the rattle of coins, he pockets it and keeps walking onward. The pirate looks across the bay of Port Royale to a ship known as the Interceptor, belonging to the navy. Holding the thought for later, he heads into the large town on the island, looking for someone. Meanwhile, Juliet’s eyes open, as a parallel to the flashback. No longer a child, she is now twenty years old, laying in bed. She looks as far out the corner of her eyes as possible. Could there be someone else in the room with her? Juliet sits up, ready for anything. Thankfully, she is alone. She gets up and walks to a dressing table. She pulls a drawer all the way out, reaching into a space beneath and takes out the same gold medallion she obtained as a child. It has not lost its luster or sense of dread. In the same drawer space, there is also a book she kept about pirates and several drawings she made years ago of pirate ships. She stares at the medallion, absently returns the drawer to its place and puts on the medallion. She looks at herself on the mirror, thinking it fits passably. She then hears a knock on the door, and it startles her, causing her to accidentally knock down the chair. “Juliet? Is everything alright?” Isaac, now the governor of the island, asked from the other side. “Yes dad, I had a brief slip is all.” Juliet replied, as she quickly puts on a dressing gown, hiding the medallion under it. Governor Rose enters, wearing a sharp business suit. A maid also enters, who is carrying a gift box. “Still asleep at this hour? It’s a wonderful day out!” Governor Rose said, looking out the window to see Port Royale’s large village settlement before him, along with Fort Weatherby, the navy’s main base of operations on the island. “I have a gift for you.” He opens the maid’s gift box, unveiling a gorgeous, sapphire dress. “Oh my, it’s beautiful!” Juliet said, impressed. “Indeed so. Thank the best designers here on Port Royale for the lovely craftsmanship. As the governor of the island, I will always ensure you have access to quality products like so. Try it on.” Governor Rose said. Juliet then goes behind a screened-off dressing area and puts on the sapphire dress over her gown. She looks into the mirror and is impressed, although it is somewhat tighter than Rose anticipated, which was not his fault. Nonetheless, Juliet assumes it will be fine. “By the way, you shall be wearing that to the ceremony today.” Governor Rose said, confusing Juliet from behind the screen. “What ceremony?” Juliet asked. “Captain Tyrell’s promotion ceremony. I thought I had given sly hints to you this was coming.” Governor Rose revealed. “Right…I knew it.” Juliet replied. “Commodore Tyrell, he is about to evolve into. What a great man. He and Admiral Valek have helped save our flourishing island on many occasions. Perhaps when you’re older, he’d make a great partner for you.” Governor Rose said, making Juliet embarrassed. “Not interested. I do not see him in that way.” Juliet replied, as Rose laughs. “Of course, of course, I only jest. Just know that he does care about you a lot, after all, you’ve known him since you were a mere child. Besides, he’s almost like family at this point.” Rose replied. “Governor, you have a visitor.” A butler said, approaching him. At the Rose mansion foyer, the visitor is seen. He is dressed in rough clothing, clearly out of place, and he knows it. He is biting on a tooth stick. He is holding a special presentation case and looks impatient. He inspects a sconce on a nearby wall. Suddenly, a section of it breaks off into his hand. “Dammit…” the visitor whispered. At a loss as to what to do, the visitor hides a section in an umbrella stand just before a servant walks by. “Hopefully the governor won’t notice that lil’ mistake…” the visitor said. He hears footsteps, as Rose, Juliet and the butler approach. “Ah, Mr. Turner! It’s good to see you again!” Rose said, revealing the visitor is Sawyer. “Good day to you, chief. I got your order.” Sawyer replied. Sawyer puts the presentation case on the table and opens it. Inside of it is a beautiful dress sword and scabbard. Sawyer takes it out reverently and hands it to Rose. Rose removes the sword from the scabbard and inspects it. “That blade right there is folded steel, best around. The handle’s got some of that gold filigree laid into it. If I can see it, I’d like to display a little magic trick.” Sawyer said, as he takes the sword from Rose. Sawyer then balances it on one finger at the point where the blade meets the guard. “Looky here, chief, perfectly balanced. The tang here is nearly the full width of the blade.” Sawyer explained. With practiced ease, Sawyer flips the sword, catches it by the hilt, and offers the sword back to Rose, bowing slightly. “Impressive…very impressive. Commodore Tyrell will be most pleased with this.” Rose replied, impressed with Sawyer’s demonstration. Rose returns the sword to its scabbard and hands it to Sawyer. As he puts it back into the case… “Do pass my complements to your mentor.” Rose said. This strikes a nerve with Sawyer, as the work is clearly his, and he’s proud of it. “Oh, I will. A craftsman is always happy to hear when his work is appreciated and acknowledged…” Sawyer was saying sarcastically, when he trails off upon seeing Juliet walk down the steps and wearing her dress. “Juliet, you look wonderful.” Rose said. “Well howdy, someone sure got fancy for today.” Sawyer said, trying to casually hide his flirting. “Sawyer, so good to see you! Funny, I had a dream about you last night.” Juliet said. “About me, huh? Well gee, I’m honored.” Sawyer replied. “Erm, Juliet, is that entirely proper-“ Rose was asking. “A dream about the day we met. You remember, of course?” Juliet asked him, ignoring her father. “Of course, how could I forget, miss Rose?” Sawyer replied. “How many times must I ask you to call me “Juliet”?” Juliet replied. “At least once more, miss Rose.” Sawyer replied smugly, annoying her. “See, Mr. Turner here at least has a sense of respect. Now, we must be going.” Rose said. Rose takes the sword case from the table and hands it to a servant. He leads the servants out the door. “Good day, Mr. Turner.” Juliet said in passing to Sawyer, as she heads out. Rose follows Juliet out the door, toward their escort, a luxurious carriage. “Good day, Juliet.” Sawyer said to himself smugly, staying behind. In the carriage, Juliet looks over her shoulder at Sawyer as they ride off. Elsewhere out at sea, a naval battle is occurring between a large, red navy ship and a lone pirate ship. The navy ship is called the HMS Crimson Devil. It’s controlled by an admiral wearing an all red outfit, who looks at the pirate ship menacingly. The pirate ship is trying to sail away from the Crimson Devil, but it’s gaining on the ship. “Admiral Valek, it’s in range.” One of the soldiers reported to the man in red, known as Valek. “Obliterate that filth. Take any remaining survivors into custody.” Valek replied. The Crimson Devil opens fire at once onto the pirate ship using a mix of gun turrets and cannonballs, quickly destroying it piece by piece. All of the crew abandons ship and jumps into the waters, as debris flies everywhere. The crew desperately tries to swim away, but are cornered by two smaller boats from the Crimson Devil. The soldiers point their guns at the pirate crew. “…Parlay?” one of the pirates tried to beg, but is taken into custody along with the others. They are brought on board the Crimson Devil, handcuffed. “Which one of you is the ship’s captain?” A soldier asked. “I am.” The pirate in the middle spoke up, as he is forcefully escorted into the ship’s cabin. Valek is inside, standing in front of his desk which has many intriguing maps and notes laid about. A picture of the gold medallion Juliet found years ago is seen amongst his papers. “Haha, wow matey, your suit is so…red!” The pirate said in fascination, giving a nervous laugh and twitching. “Greetings. I’ll get right to the point. Tell me where the highly sought “treasure” is at and perhaps I’ll spare your comrades.” Valek demanded. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about, man!” The pirate replied in fear, trying to hide something. “Yes you do. Pirate scum like yourself and bounty hunters all over have been quite fascinated in this mysterious “treasure” as of late, whatever it may be. It has quite the high price reward which would draw any scoundrel out of hiding. Your ship was clearly not prepared for combat, so you were looking for something, and not to mention, all of your friends looking for this treasure have been coming through this exact area.” Valek explained, showing an impressive knowledge of the ongoings on pirate life and area around. “Okay, f-fine, I shall squeal: We were headin’ to that remote island close to Port Royale…uh, Nevarro, that’s it, yes, yes! We heard on the sea chatter that the treasure might be located there, but we don’t know for sure! That’s all I know, I swear!” The pirate confessed, terrified. “Thank you for your cooperation. This only confirms my theories.” Valek replied, seeming content. “I told you the info, can you at least show a captain some honorable lenience and cast me into the brig?” The pirate bargained. Valek then walks closer to him, worrying the pirate. “Please…don’t…KILL!” The pirate yelled in fear. Valek stands still for a moment, easing the pirate’s fears. Suddenly, Valek then pulls out his maroon rifle and shoots the pirate right through the chest. His body collapses to the ground, dead. “Heh…wouldn’t think of it.” Valek replied coldly, as he blows the smoke off of his gun. “Sir, what should we do with the rest of his crew?” A soldier asked. “Execute them all.” Valek ordered. “Yes sir.” The soldier replied, as he leaves the cabin. “Get this off my ship.” Valek ordered to another soldier, pointing to the pirate’s body. The soldier nods, as he picks up the pirate’s corpse. He tosses it overboard, as it flails into the waters. His companions are seen being lowered on their knees, as the soldiers ready their guns from behind. Gunshots go off, as Valek walks out of the cabin, and smirks at the sight. “Dispatch a small squadron to the island of Nevarro for scouting at once. I’ll be attending Tyrell’s promotion ceremony.” Valek ordered to an officer. “Right away, sir.” The officer replied. The pirate from earlier is seen wandering through the walkways of Port Royale, seeing multiple buildings along his way. He makes his way to a tavern, with a sign hanging above the entrance titling the establishment “The Sailor’s Tavern”. The pirate pulls out a poster from his pocket, checking to see if he’s at the right place. He is correct, as he puts away his pirate hat and casually opens the door, walking into the tavern. Inside, there is a rough crowd of sailors, normal island residents, scoundrels, pirates, and other suspicious figures. The bartender looks at the pirate, and gives him a smile. “Drink up me heartie.” The bartender winked at him, implying he knows the man is a pirate, and is a sympathizer. The pirate heads to the back of the tavern, seeing a lone, familiar person sitting by themselves at a table, having a drink of rum. The person is revealed to be Higgs, who is surprised to see the pirate. He is wearing a gold badge belonging to the Bounty and Treasure Hunters Guild. “…It really is you. Nice to see ye again after so long, Mack!” Higgs said to the pirate, getting up, as they give each other a brotherly hug. “Could’ve found a better residence, Vince. I haven’t set foot on Port Royale in years!” Mack replied. They sit down at the table, as Higgs gets him a drink. The two catch up. “How did you get here without a ship or crew?” Higgs asked. “I found a way, as always. I thought you would’ve learned by now to never underestimate me.” Mack replied, taking a sip of his drink. “What I mean is, the navy has been crackin’ down on pirates coming through this area as of late. It’s a fool’s errand to even set foot on Port Royale anymore.” Higgs explained, taking another sip. “Like I said, I found a way. I kept a low profile and may or may not have used my charm to con my way in. Captain’s secret.” Mack replied, winking. Higgs lets out a light laugh. “You know Mack, I never stopped believing. I’m still loyal to you ’til the bitter end.” Higgs said. “I know, mate. Even though my previous attempts at making a new crew ended in unfortunate blunders, you were always there. It’s been a rough many years, but it’s always a joy to see a familiar face again, and one I trust. Now I feel a tad less…alone. They say to trust no one in Enhalas, but you’ve proven to subvert that expectation.” Mack replied. “I’m still deeply sorry ya lost everything. Wish I was there for ya sooner, but after the your attempted new crews didn’t work out, I needed a break from the pirate life. Have you had any runs in with him as of late?” Higgs asked cautiously. “No. Not since the night I was mutinied and stranded. Every night I think about him.” Mack said. Mack has a brief flashback, showing himself and an unknown pirate, his former First Mate, at the forefront, along with several other pirates on the same ship Juliet saw as a child. Mack then holds out a pistol, looking at it, which has a single bullet in it. “Still saving the bullet for him, huh.” Higgs replied. “One day.” Mack replied. “I’ve heard the stories. He’s made his way up as one of the most ferocious pirate crews in Enhalas. All this makes me glad I left that pirate and navy lives behind, now I’ve been relaxing a calm life here.” Higgs said. “You’re a representative for the guild now, eh? Quite a transition from the pirate life, if I do say so myself. Never imagined you had in it you.” Mack said curiously, looking at Higgs’ badge. “Wasn’t in the cards at first. I settled down here the past year, and then the business opportunity called. Not one for action anymore myself, but I make quite the riches from representing the guild. They need all the help they can get out here.” Higgs said, holding out several bags of money and kicking a steel box on the floor, which contains all of his requests. “Dare I ask mate, do you give out bounties for pirates? Would be rather unfortunate if my face was on one of your assignments one day…” Mack said curiously. “I sure don’t, since most of my clients be pirates, and I ain’t scaring ‘em off. There’s a few in hiding here right now.” Higgs said, waving toward a few sitting at the bar. “I guess the pirate life never truly left me. Unfortunately, business is rather slow for me lately due to few pirates making it here anymore, and the bounty hunters flock to other reps.” “Which brings me to the next reason I’m here.” Mack said, placing the poster on the desk. Higgs looks at it, with a grim look. “I see. You want in on that forsaken treasure too.” Higgs said. “Tell me what you know about it. I hope it’s worth all the trouble it’s giving the pirate crews. Word spreads fast, even to a now “nobody” like me.” Mack asked. “All I know is, the request is from an anonymous client, and the reward price varies depending on negotiations. Whatever it is, it’s located on the island of Nevarro.” Higgs explained. “Great, thanks for the help, and so off I am to my next destination!” Mack said, finishing his drink. “Wait, how will ye get there without a ship?” Higgs asked, befuddled. “Not to worry mate, I have that covered.” Mack replied, winking. “Just try to maintain that low profile of yours. If you get into any trouble, I want no part of it, since I myself have been keeping a low profile here and would prefer to not become a fugitive.” Higgs cautioned to Mack. “Count on me, Captain’s honor.” Mack replied, as he is about to leave, but Higgs has one more thing to say. “Just so you know Mack, if you’re looking for a new crew, I want no part of that either. I’m not coming back to that life.” Higgs said sternly. “No feelings hurt from me. When I fetch that treasure, it’ll give me the reputation to assemble together a new crew from scratch. Then I’ll find him.” Mack said determined. “Good luck, lad. I’m rooting for ya, I know if anyone can get that treasure, it’s you.” Higgs said, as he sits back down, and Mack leaves the tavern. Outside Fort Weatherby, soldiers march into the courtyard, taking their places for the ceremony. Admiral Valek arrives slightly late. “Apologies for being late governor, I had important business to deal with.” Valek said to Rose. “Not a problem, admiral.” Rose replied, as the ceremony begins and several residents of the island are attending. “Two paces, march!” A soldier yelled. The soldiers, now divided into two columns, obey the order. “About face!” The soldier yelled. The soldiers obey and turn, now facing each other. “Present arms!” The soldier yelled, as they obey. Tyrell then walks between the two columns of soldiers and moves toward the presentation area where Rose and Admiral Valek wait for him. With precision, Rose removes the sword and scabbard from its case and presents it to Tyrell, in full dress. Tyrell accepts the sword, executes a flourishing salute, first to Rose, then to the officers, and then to the audience, assembled beneath the glaring sun. Among the audience is Juliet, who is sweating. She winces, discreetly adjusts the corset through the material of the dress, trying to hide her discomfort. “Congratulations, James Tyrell. You have been promoted to Commodore. I’ll be looking forward to working with you a lot more closely from now on.” Valek said, congratulating the now Commodore Tyrell and shaking his hand. “It is an honor, sir. I will not disappoint.” Tyrell replied. Mack makes his way down to the dock, passing two marines on sentry duty, taking advantage of what little shade there is on the dock. But when Mack saunters up, the two are immediately on alert. “This dock is off-limit to civilians, sir.” One of them, named Toby, said. “I’m terribly sorry, I didn’t know. If I see one, I will inform you immediately.” Mack replied. Mack tries to move around the two, but they block his path. “Apparently there’s some sort of high-toned and fancy to do up at the fort, eh? How could it be that two upstanding gentlemen such as yourselves did not merit an invitation?” Mack asked, trying to mess with them. “Someone has to make sure this dock stays off limits to civilians.” Toby replied. “It’s a fine goal, to be sure…but it seems to me that a ship like, makes this one here a bit superfluous, really.” Mack said, looking at the Dauntless and then at the Interceptor. “Oh, the Dauntless is quite a power in these seas, very true, but there’s no ship that can rival the Interceptor for speed.” Toby replied. “I’ve heard of one, supposed to be very fast, nigh uncatchable…The Eclipse Pearl.” Mack said. The other soldier, named Murray, scoffs at the name. “Well…there’s no real ship that can match the Interceptor.” Murray replied. “The Eclipse Pearl is a real ship, though.” Toby replied. “No it ain’t!” Murray replied. “Yes it is. I’ve seen it.” Toby replied. “You’ve seen it, huh?” Murray replied. “Yes.” Toby replied. “You haven’t seen it.” Murray replied. “Yes, I have!” Toby replied. “You’ve seen a ship with black sails, that’s crewed by the damned and captivated by a man so evil that the abyss itself spat him back out?” Murray asked. “…No.” Toby replied. “No, indeed.” Murray replied smugly. “But I’ve seen a ship with black sails.” Toby replied. “Oh, and yet no ship that’s not crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that the abyss itself spat him back out could possibly have black sails, therefore couldn’t possibly be any other ship than the Eclipse Pearl. Is that what you’re saying?” Murray replied. “…No.” Toby sighed. “It’s like I said, there’s no real ship that can match the Interceptor-HEY!” Murray replied, looking for Mack, but he’s not there. The two soldiers look around, and spot Mack standing at the wheel of the Interceptor, casually examining the mechanism and whistling. “You!” Murray yelled. Mack looks over in exaggeratedly innocent surprise. The sailors hurry toward the gangplank and board the ship. They raise their guns and approach Mack. “Get away from there! You have no permission to be aboard, mate!” Murray ordered. “I’m sorry sirs, it’s…such a beautiful ship.” Mack replied. “What’s your name?” Toby asked. “John, or Johnny, if you prefer.” Mack lied. “Where’s your business in Port Royale, “Mr. John”?” Murray asked. “And no lies!” Toby added. “I must confess, then. It is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, sail my way to a nearby isle, collect my treasure, use that reputation to build myself a new crew in Swashbuckler Outpost, raid, pillage, plunder, and otherwise pilfer my black guts out!” Mack revealed. “I said no lies!” Toby said annoyed. “…I think he’s telling the truth.” Murray replied, holding his gun. “If he were telling the truth, he wouldn’t have told us that, duh genius.” Toby replied. “Unless, of course, he knew you wouldn’t believe the truth even if he told it to you.” Mack replied, making Murray and Toby both ponder. Back at the ceremony, Juliet, who is pale and sweating due to her extra clothing, fans herself weakly, oblivious to the celebration and chatter around. However, that is not the only problem, as the medallion she has is beginning to act unnaturally, little to her knowledge. Tyrell then approaches her. “You don’t look so well. How about getting some fresh air?” Tyrell offered her, extending his hand. “That would be nice.” Juliet replied, taking it, as he escorts her to a parapet. “Quite the dress your father got for you. It’s splendid.” Tyrell noted. “Yes, but I’m feeling…ill.” Juliet said, as the golden medallion begins to have a strange effect on her “Don't worry, just take in the fresh sea wind and it’ll help.” Tyrell replied. Juliet loses her balance and stumbles away, as the medallion glows. She reaches a hand out to the parapet to steady herself, but it slides off and she vanishes over the wall, gone. Juliet plummets from the top of the cliff, down toward the sea. Tyrell turns, to find Juliet gone. “Juliet?” Tyrell asked, as he looks down. “JULIET!” He leaps to the top of the parapet, prepared to dive, but a lieutenant, Pearson, catches his arm. “Sir, the rocks! It’s a miracle she missed them!” Pearson said, pointing below. Tyrell shakes off his arm and then looks down, realizing Pearson is right. He jumps down and runs underwater. An unconscious Juliet continues to sink deeper into the water. Mack, Murray and Toby are still in shock from the sight. “Shall you gents be saving her, then?” Mack asked to the two. “…I can’t swim.” Murray revealed, as Toby shakes his head, indicating neither can he. “Pride of the navy, you two surely are.” Mack replied, not surprised. He takes off his hat, coat, and then hands his pistol and sword to Toby. “Don’t lose these.” Mack said, as he dives underwater. Juliet keep drifting down unconscious. The medallion slips loose from her bodice, and it turns slowly, until the skull side is fully visible. A shaft of filtered sunlight hits it, and it glints, and a signal reverberates out across the sea. “What was that?” Toby asked to Murray, who shakes his head, shrugging. A gust of wind comes up. The two grab their hats and look up at the flag, which has begun to blow in the opposite direction. The wind pits up, blowing in from the sea. The skeletons of the three pirates hanging from the gallows on the rocky promontory spin from the rabid wind. Juliet’s unmoving form hits the bottom, and then, Mack is there. He wraps an arm around her and makes his way to the surface. Mack swims toward the docks. Tyrell rushes down, followed by his men. Beyond him, past the rocky point, far out to sea, an ominous fog gathers. Toby and Murray help Mack haul Juliet out of the water. Mack climbs up, exhausted. Juliet is on her back, as Murray examines her. “Not good, she ain’t breathing.” Murray said, as Mack slips Toby’s knife from its sheath. “Move!” Mack demanded, as he pushes past Murray and Toby is shocked. Mack slits Juliet’s dress down the middle and yanks it away, as Toby holds it. Juliet remains still and then she coughs up water, as removing the dress has allowed her some breathing room once more. “I never would have thought of that.” Murray said curiously. “Clearly, you’ve never been to Thalassia.” Mack replied. Mack then spots Juliet’s medallion on her neck. Make catches it up in his hand, and is surprised. “…Where did you get this?” Mack asked, intrigued and knowing what it exactly is. Before Juliet can answer, the blade of a sword is at Mack’s throat. Tyrell’s new ceremonial sword, as a matter of fact. “On your feet.” Tyrell ordered to him. The rest of Tyrell’s men reach the scene, including Rose. “Juliet! Are you all right?” Rose asked, putting a jacket over her. “Yes…yes, I’m fine.” Juliet replied. Rose notices the dress Toby is holding. “Shoot him!” Rose ordered at once, angry. “Wait, father! Commodore, do you truly intend to kill my rescuer?” Juliet protested. Tyrell looks at Juliet, and then nods to his men. Mack nods a thanks to Juliet. Tyrell sheathes his sword, and then extends his hand to Mack. “I believe thanks are in order.” Tyrell said. Mack takes Tyrell’s hand. They shake, and Tyrell tightens his grip, yanks Mack’s arm toward him, the tears back the sleeve of Mack’s shirt. It exposes a brand on Mack’s wrist: a large “P”, revealing Mack was marked as a pirate long ago. “Had a run in with the Eastern Trading Company, did we…pirate?” Tyrell said, revealing his identity. Shocked reactions occur, but the soldiers are well-trained. In the blink of an eye, half a dozen guns are aimed at Mack. He winces. “Kill him.” Rose demanded. ___________________ 2. Pirate’s Life: Part II Mack is surrounded and his situation is not looking good. “Keep your guns on him, men. Pearson, fetch the irons.” Tyrell ordered at once. Tyrell then notices something else: above the “P” brand is a tattoo of a star and sword struck into it. “Well, well… Mack Stark, isn’t it?” Tyrell realized. “Captain Mack Stark, if you please, sir.” Mack said, revealing his last name. “Well, I don’t see your ship, captain.” Tyrell said, glancing out at the bay. “I’m in the market, as they say.” Mack replied charmingly. “He said he was gonna commandeer one.” Toby reported. “I told you he was telling the truth,” Murray said to him, and then hands Tyrell Mack’s piston and belt, “These are his, sir.” Tyrell examines the pistol. “No additional shot nor powder.” Tyrell noted, as Mack shrugs. Tyrell then examines his compass and tests it. “A compass that doesn’t point north.” Tyrell noted, as Mack looks away, slightly embarrassed. Tyrell then half-draws the sword from the scabbard. “Wow, and I somewhat expected it to be made of wood. You are, without a doubt, one of the worst pirates I’ve ever heard of.” Tyrell said, as he re-sheates the sword. “But you have heard of me.” Mack corrected. Pearson returns with shackles. Tyrell grabs Mack by the arm and drags him over to Pearson. “Commodore, I truly must protest!” Juliet said, feeling this is unfair. “Carefully, lieutenant.” Tyrell ordered. Juliet steps forward. Rose’s jacket slips off her. She is unconcerned, but he is intent on putting it back on. “Even if he’s a pirate, this man saved my life.” Juliet said. “One small good deed is not enough to redeem someone of a lifetime of wickedness.” Tyrell said. Pearson snaps the manacles closed on Mack’s wrists. “Though it seems to condemn him.” Mack noted. “Indeed.” Tyrell replied, smiling. Now that Mack is safely chained, Tyrell nods to his men. They stow their weapons. “Finally, my moment!” Mack said. Acting upon lighting fast instinct, Mack wraps the manacle chain around Juliet’s throat, using her as ransom. Guns are drawn again, but now Juliet serves as a shield. “No! No! Don’t shoot!” Rose ordered. “I knew you’d warm up to me. Commodore Tyrell, my merchandise, please. And the hat, don’t skimp.” Mack bargained. Tyrell hesitates and balls his fists in frustration. “Commodore!” Mack taunted. Tyrell takes them from Murray and holds them out to Mack. “Juliet, is it?” Mack said to her. Juliet is now more angry than frightened. “It’s miss Rose.” Juliet corrected. “Miss Rose, if you’d be so kind? Come, come, dear, we don’t have all day!” Mack said. Juliet takes the belt and pistol from Tyrell. Mack is quicker and takes the pistol from her. He then motions for her to do something. She figures out what he wants: put the hat and belt on him, since he cannot. She does so at once. “Easy there, dear.” Mack said. “You’re despicable.” Juliet said annoyed. “Sticks and stones, dear. I saved your life, you save mine, and we’re even. Pirate’s Code.” Mack said, as Juliet finishes, and the mention of the “code” interests her. He turns her again and then backs up until he bumps against the cargo gantry. “Gentlemen…m’lady…you will always remember this as the day you almost captured Captain Mack Stark.” Mack boldly decreed. He shoves Juliet away, grabs a rope and kicks free a belaying pin - a counterweight drops and Mack is lifted up to the middle of the gantry, where he grabs a second rope. Mack swings out and away from the gantry. “Would you shoot him already!?” Rose demanded angrily. “Open fire!” Tyrell ordered. The soldiers shoot, but all miss. “On his heels!” Tyrell ordered, as the soldiers race after him. Make swings out onto a yardarm, spots a rope leadings down and snaps the manacle’s chain over the rope. He slides down to a further dock and drops down. Mack makes his way across a bridge, dodging bullets. Tyrell watches as Mack disappears into the streets. “Pearson, Mr. Stark has a dawn appointment with the gallows. It would be a shame if he missed it.” Tyrell ordered. Pearson understands and heads off to gather a search party to patrol the whole island. Tyrel also orders more guards at the Dauntless and Interceptor in case of another theft. “Admiral Valek will not be particularly happy to hear about this incident on my first day as Commodore…” Tyrell sighed, prepared to report the incident to Valek. “I never thought you’d have an encounter with a real pirate, how unfortunate it happened today. I will take extra precautions to make sure you and every resident of Port Royale is safe.” Rose said to Juliet, escorting her. “Thank you father, but I will be fine. He spared my life, he has no reason to harm me.” Juliet said. “That’s what he wants you to think…” Rose sighed, but Juliet shrugs it off, as they head back to the mansion. After getting her safely inside, Rose and Tyrell head back to Fort Weatherby together to report what happened to Valek, as they approach him in the courtyard. “Sir, I regret to inform you a wretched pirate somehow made their way onto this island. He escaped custody and is still out here somewhere. I take full responsibility for the failure.” Tyrell reported. This news intrigues Valek instead of bringing on any anger or disappointment from him. “No apologies needed, Commodore. By any chance, did you get their name?” Valek asked curiously. “Yes. It’s Captain Mack Stark. Is his name familiar to you?” Tyrell asked. “Why yes, of course it is. He was once quite a famous pirate, captaining The Eclipse Pearl, and then fell from grace after a mutiny from his First Mate. He will not be a concern, he is nothing now. He came here to seek an opportunity…perhaps a certain treasure…” Valek said. “Admiral Valek, with all due respect, I fear your obsession with “The Treasure” will hinder our progress on catching this dangerous pirate on our very island. It does not feel important to the current issues at hand.” Rose said. “I beg to differ, it is very important. After all…both of our concerns may line up together in the end. What I find even more concerning however, is that my team has still not reported back from the Nevarro patrol hours later.” Valek replied. “Shall I send a few of my men to investigate the island?” Tyrell asked. “You may, James.” Valek approved. “This seems like a waste, your men are probably fine. We need to keep as many soldiers as possible here to hunt down the pirate.” Rose said. “That will not matter now that he knows you’re hunting him. These pirates know how to hide well. But a bait will always draw them out of hiding. You should get some rest, governor. I can tell you’ve had an exhausting day.” Valek said. “Very well, admiral. Thank you.” Rose said, as he heads off back to the mansion. Mack carefully approaches The Sailor’s Tavern and sneaks his way inside. He goes over to Higgs, who is still sitting at the table. “I take it someone didn’t keep a low profile.” Higgs said, sipping another drink and seeing Mack in cuffs. “Not to worry, I have the situation under control. But uh…I may have to hide here for a bit, more of those nasty soldiers will be coming.” Mack said. “Wise choice, you’d be best waiting til’ nightfall. They’ll be on high alert for the rest of the day.” Higgs said, knowing how they operate by now. “Indeed, I shall let the lot think I have cleverly hidden myself or fled the area for now.” Mack said. “If you ask me, and you’re free to disagree, but they’ll likely be waiting for ye now at those fancy ships. Remember, making stupid decisions out here will get you killed.” Higgs warned. “I knew you’d say that, Vince. Fortunately for them, I have alternatives to use. I know there must be several smaller vessels these soldiers use, correct?” Mack said. “You’d be correct. There’s a few spare ones at a dock near the blacksmith shop. Nevarro isn’t far at all, so you’d be best taking one of those for a quick back and forth. Also, you’d be extra wise to get yourself out of them restraints first. ‘Fraid I have nothing to get you out of those.” Higgs suggested to him. ” “The blacksmith would do, I presume.” Mack replied. “It would. The mechanisms in there would break any iron. Life has a strange way of aligning things together for ye, let me tell you. I still don’t know if it’s dumb luck or your hidden genius.” Higgs replied, curious. “My plan all along, mate. I like to test your knowledge to see if you still know me.” Mack winked. “One thing’s for sure, you sure haven’t changed much in the the year we’ve been apart.” Higgs said, laughing, and taking another sip. Mack waits until night begins to shine down on the island. He leaves the tavern and stealthily makes his way through the streets. Several soldiers come patrolling down his path, shining flashlights around, as Mack quickly hides behind several crates. They go onward, as Mack casually walks off, heading around a corner. He quickly passes by several civilians who pay him no mind, not knowing yet from their authority that he is a pirate is on the loose and that very pirate is walking right past them. “Lovely night, ain’t it?” Mack said to the civilians, trying to hide his manacles from them. “Good night to you, sir.” A woman said, passing by, and not noticing his pirate get-up. Mack then sees the blacksmith shop nearby, as an anvil sign is over it. Right next to it is a small dock, containing the wooden boats needed. Mack then hears noises coming from inside the blacksmith shop, and this confirms to him he can use the equipment there to free himself from the manacles. Plus, perhaps he could seize the opportunity to gain new weapons. After all, who truly knows what awaits him on Nevarro? And with his recent encounter, more weapons may not hurt. Mack sneakily makes his way to it, and hides behind a statue outside the entrance, making sure no soldiers are nearby. He then slips through the pass-thru doors leading inside the building. The forge is dark, lit by lanterns. Every tool is in its place, the workbench tidy and neat. Mack removes his hat and reaches for a short-handled sledge. A bottle hits the ground, making Mack jump. Mr. Brown, in a blacksmith’s apron, sleeps in the corner. Mack checks to make sure Mr. Brown is indeed passed out by giving him a hard poke. Brown snorts and turns away. Mack turns to go then turns back and shouts. Another snort is Brown’s only response. Mack quickly moves to an anvil, brings the sledged down on the manacle links. It’s not working. Mack reacts in frustration. He looks around and spots the gears of a mill. Below it stands a small seahorse, with a harness attached to the animal. Mack pulls a tool from the blacksmith’s fire, and the end is red hot. He looks over at the unsuspecting steed. The seahorse jumps and starts to move, tugging on the harness. It moves the gears of the mill. Mack puts the links of the manacle between two of the gears. As they come together, the link snaps, freeing Mack’s wrists. He gleefully moves his hands again. Suddenly, he hears the sound of the latch on the door. Mack dives for cover. Sawyer enters, and notices the mill moving. He stops the seahorse and looks around the place. He spots the drunken Mr. Brown in the corner. “Right where I left ya.” Sawyer checked. Sawyer takes off his coat, then notices: the sledge resting on top of the anvil. “…Not where I left ya.” Sawyer said curious. He moves casually toward the sledge and then spots something nearby: Mack’s hat. Sawyer reaches for it, but the flat of a sword blade slaps his hand. Sawyer steps back. Mack stands there, sword leveled at Sawyer. He backs Sawyer up, toward the door, as Sawyer glares at him. “I don’t fancy intruders…wait, you’re the pirate those soldiers are huntin’!” Sawyer realized. Mack acknowledges this with a tip of his head and then frowns. “Say, you seem somewhat familiar…have I threatened you before?” Mack asked, strangely finding something recognizable about Sawyer but can’t figure it out. “I’m flattered, but sorry to disappoint ya pal, I’ve made it quite a point to avoid familiarizing myself with pirates.” Sawyer replied. “Ah, well then, it would be a shame to put a black mark on your record. If you’ll excuse me…” Mack said. Beside the door is a grindstone and a sword resting in the honing guide. Before Mack can react, Sawyer has it in his hand. “Do you think this is smart, friend? Crossing blades with a pirate? Remember, making stupid decisions in Enhalas-“ Mack was reminding. “…can get ya killed, I know very well by now, thanks for the lecture, professor pirate. You threatened miss Rose.” Sawyer said annoyed, as he assumes an en grade position. Mack runs his sword blade along Sawyer’s. “Only a little. Also, my, word sure travels fast around this island.” Mack corrected. “I know a thing or two by now about eavesdropping on them soldiers when I shouldn’t be, one of my many talents.” Sawyer bragged, as Mack attacks. The two men trading feints, thrusts and parry with lightning speed, almost impossible to follow. Sawyer has no trouble matching Mack, as he lashes out in anger and frustration. “Despite the attitude, you know what you’re doing, I must concede that…excellent form! But how’s your footwork? If I step here…” Mack was saying, testing Sawyer. He takes a step around an imaginary circle, as Sawyer steps the other way, maintaining his relationship to Mack. “Very good! Now I step once more.” Mack said, continuing. “If your lil’ dance routine is supposed to piss me off, it’s working, partner.” Sawyer said getting frustrated, as Mack doesn’t care. They are now exactly opposite their initial positions. “Ta!” Mack said, applauding. Mack turns and heads for the door, now directly behind him. Sawyer registers an angry surprise, and then with a vicious overhand motion, throws his sword. It buries itself into the door, just above the latch, barely missing Mack. Mack tugs on the sword a few times, and it is really stuck in there. He rattles the latch, but the sword blocks it. Mack mouths a curse, but when he turns back to Sawyer, he’s smiling. “Wonderful trick there, except, you are between me and my way out once again. And now you have no weapon.” Mack said, taking the sword. Eyes on Mack, Sawyer lunges for a new sword from the furnace. This one has a glowing, red-hot tip. The steed, startled, starts moving. Mack looks over at the moving machinery and then leaps forward. Sawyer and Mack duel, as their blades flash and ring. Then Mack’s chain smashes across Sayer’s sword, disarming him. Sawyer grabs another, as Mack distressingly becomes aware that the entire room is filled with bladed weapons. “Who made all these?” Mack inquired. “I did, and I practice with ‘em four hours a day!” Sawyer bragged. Mack throws a tool at Sawyer’s head, and throws whatever other tools he can, as he continues to aggravate Sawyer. “You need to find yourself a partner, mate!” Mack suggested. Sawyer sets his jaw, as he reaches down and picks up a second sword. “Or, perhaps the reason you practice four hours a day is that you already found one, and are otherwise incapable of wooing said bride.” Mack taunted. He gets a direct hit, as Sawyer coils even more tightly with anger. “Funny you point that out, because I practice four hours a day so that when I meet a pirate…I can kill it.” Sawyer revealed. Fearless, Sawyer drives Mack backwards, and up, onto a movable ramp, wheels in the center. When Mack passes the mid-point, the ramp balances, and rolls wildly as the two men fight. Sawyer gets Mack’s chain wrapped around his sword, as Sawyer twists the handle of his guard through a link, and stabs the sword up. Mack’s manacled left arm is now suspended from the ceiling. Not good. He parries using one hand, twisting and dodging. Sawyer is proud of himself until Mack slams down on one of the boards. It flies up, hitting Sawyer in the chin and sending him flying off the cart. Mack tries to pull the sword out of the beam. He jumps up, wrapping his legs around the beam, using fall his weight to free the sword. Sawyer grabs another sword and jumps back onto the cart just as Mack is able to free the sword. It causes Mack to crash back onto the cart, sending Sawyer flying upward where he lands on top of one of the beams. Mack rolls off, hitting his head. Dazed, he gets to his feet, but can’t find Sawyer until he looks up…just in time to see Sawyer cutting the rope that holds a bunch of casks. “Fun, now I get to see a pirate fly and die.” Sawyer taunted, as the casks fall onto the cart, sending Mack flying up to the beam. Mack hangs onto the beam, gets to his feet and the fight continues as they both straddle the beams. Sawyer is finally able to kick the sword from Mack’s hand. Make jumps off the beam, as Sawyer follows and points his sword at the unarmed Mack. Mack compresses the bellows, blowing a shower of sparks into Sawyer’s face. “Dammit!” Sawyer yelled, unable to see, as he is knocked back and Mack kicks Sawyer’s sword out of his hand. Sawyer grabs a piece of iron, looks up and Mack’s pistol is aimed between Sawyer’s eyes. “You cheated!” Sawyer said. “Pirate.” Mack reminded, as he steps forward. Sawyer steps back, fully blocking the back door. From outside arrive the sounds of pursuit. “Move away, lad.” Mack demanded. “No.” Sawyer replied. “Please?” Mack asked. “No! I ain’t stepping aside and letting an outlaw like you escape! Turning you in would make me a fortune, boy.” Sawyer said. Mack readies his pistol, as Sawyer stares back. There is a long moment of silence. “This shot is not meant for you.” Mack said, still knowing what he’s fighting for. Mr. Brown sneaks up from behind, ready to hit Mack with his bottle. Mack then quickly turns around, knocking the bottle out of Mr. Brown’s hand, as it smashes onto the ground. He then trips him, as he slices open a bag of powder, masking his escape. “NO!” Sawyer yelled angrily, making his way through the powder to find Mack. “I almost had ‘em, still counts for a civic duty…” Mr. Brown said drunkenly, trying to get up. Tyrell and his men arrive, as Sawyer runs outside looking for Mack. “Come back here and finish this, you coward!” Sawyer yelled into the night. “Where did he go?” Tyrell asked. “Don’t know, but when I find him, he’s gonna be a dead man.” Sawyer said, fuming. “Sweep the perimeter, and make sure he’s not heading for our ships.” Tyrell ordered to his men. Mack is seen hiding behind the shop. He waits for the soldiers to pass by, and sneaks along the back. He sees the boats still in tact at the dock. He pushes one of them into the water and begins rowing. “Now without further stalling, here I go, at last!” Mack said, setting sail to Nevarro to claim his treasure. He keep sailing his way and sees several lights shining at Port Royale, indicating the search for him has gotten tighter. “Unfortunately for them, I will be taking my business elsewhere. It was a nice treat knowing you while you lasted, Port Royale.” Mack said, waving farewell to it from the distance and ready to get his pirate reputation back. Nevarro approaches on the horizon. It is a small, quiet, tropical island. He makes port on an old shore, where he sees both the navy boats that were sent to investigate are also docked. This somewhat worries Mack, as he investigates both boats. “Not touched in hours…” Mack said, feeling both boats, and getting an uneasy feeling. “Eh, perhaps they simply lost their bearings.” He carefully walks into a forest, and holds out his compass. It doesn’t point him in any direction, so he decides to go with his gut. He slashes his way through vines and bushes. At a clearing, he stumbles upon several dropped weapons and loot belonging to pirates. He picks up the bags of money and one of the swords for safe keeping. Mack keeps traveling onward, and then stops dead in his tracks when he comes across a morbid sight: Multiple dead bodies of navy soldiers from Tyrell’s men, revealing they perished by an unknown entity. “…Oh.” Mack said, examining the morbid sight before him. “They were attacked. Dead, like the others who have passed through here.” A voice said, startling Mack. An enigmatic old man reveals himself, wearing a helmet and jacket. He is riding atop a tan jellyfish, surprising Mack. “Quite a sight. Didn’t think anyone would still be alive here given the trail ’til now.” Mack said. “I am Echo, a resident of this isle. Known as Mr. Echo by many now, if you prefer. Been here a long time, I have. Let me guess, here for the treasure too?” Mr. Echo asked to him, almost comically by this point. “I could be, but if you have to ask that, then you already know the answer.” Mack said cryptically. “So it would seem. Many souls have tried to claim the relic on this isle. None of them ever came back. But you…you are different. I will help guide you to it.” Mr. Echo said curiously. “You’re helping me? Not that I’m not thankful, but usually a lone native on a mostly obscure isle leads to trouble.” Mack noted curiously. “I am not alone. These pirates, hunters and soldiers have brought nothing but chaos to this peaceful domain. If removing this treasure restores peace to the island, then it shall be done. I have spoken.” Mr. Echo replied with wisdom. “Fancy ride you have.” Mack said, impressed with the jellyfish. “I’m a jellyfish farmer here. They are representative of the beautiful life and nature this isle exhibits, and why that order should not be disrupted. Come.” Mr. Echo said, telling Mack to follow. The jellyfish rides off, carrying Echo, as Mack follows. They go to a remote part of the island, where Echo’s jelly farm is, and multiple jellyfish are flocking around. A shack is set up, where Echo resides. From the entrance, several packages of food and curious artifacts can be seen inside the residence. Echo gets off of his jellyfish and gives it a snack. “Returning the favor, as should be the natural order.” Echo spoke. “I know what you mean very well, shame many don’t appreciate returned favors today.” Mack said. “I will have one of my jellyfish guide you to the location. But you must tame it to gain its trust, or it will not let you go.” Echo said. “Seems a little much, you could just give me a tour on the way, yeah? I’m sure you aren’t that old to be unable to walk.” Mack said. “There is a strange group on the island protecting your treasure, and they are merciless. I am too old to take them on. They will attack you if you approach their fortress from the ground, grave mistake many before you have made. Flying in from a jellyfish will catch them off guard. I have spoken.” Mr. Echo said. “Whatever you say, mate. Anything to get this over with.” Mack said. Echo shows him to a hand made pen of wood, where inside of it, a lone green jellyfish awaits. “Tame the creature best you can, but bring no harm to it, or that will ruin the bond.” Mr. Echo said. “You sure are a spiritual one, bucko. Alright friend, give me your delicious offerings so we may bond for our brief journey!” Mack spoke, walking forward toward the jellyfish. The jellyfish does not respond, as it floats there, looking at Mack. Mack then does a pirate jig in hopes it will get a response, but still nothing. “Tough crowd, this one is.” Mack said. “Those fancy tricks may help a pirate, but they will not soothe a jellyfish. You must show your dominance.” Mr. Echo told him. “Right!” Mack said, drawing his sword. He steps closer toward the creature, and swings his sword around, then points it at the jellyfish, trying to assert dominance. This angers the jellyfish however, as it lets out a zap from its tentacle, disarming Mack’s sword, as it falls across the dirt. “Easy there-“ Mack was saying, as the jellyfish then whacks him with two tentacles and sends him falling to the ground. The jellyfish then floats back to its original spot, as Mack is annoyed. Mr. Echo continues to watch in curiosity. “Of all my years as a pirate, taming a beast of the wild is not exactly what I was trained for, not that we pirates really do “training”.” Mack rambled, looking frustrated at this task. “Do not attack, it will only anger the creature.” Mr. Echo said. “I wasn’t trying to, actually, that was just me trying to make a stunt.” Mack replied. “The creature has a different interpretation of attacks than us. Gain control using another way and communicate you are not its enemy. You appear sly enough to do so.” Mr. Echo told him, as he observes. Mack ponders, and gets an idea. He picks his sword back up and tips it on his finger, in a similar way Sawyer did earlier. The jellyfish watches, as Mack flings the sword into the air. Mack then takes a leap of faith and jumps on top of the jellyfish. It tries to grab him with its tentacles again, but Mack grabs both tentacles, as he uses it to steer the creature and gain control. The sword then lands, as Mack grabs it with his right hand. Mack pets the jellyfish, trying to calm it. “Easy there, jelly.” Mack said. The jellyfish stops moving and is much calmer. Mack has tamed the jellyfish, and has had his strength recognized by it. Mr. Echo is impressed and looks in wonder. “The jellyfish is now yours. Command it and it will know where to go. I wish you best of luck on your journey to the fortress, pirate.” Mr. Echo said. “I must inquire good gentleman, but while I am happy I shall be the one to remove the treasure from your island’s dilemma, why help a low life, foul pirate such as I?” Mack asked, still wondering if there’s more to this. “Around your age I once was, and I too, had a past shrouded by darkness. Come to this island to cleanse myself, I did. I hope that your current path brings you better fortune than it brought me. I have spoken.” Mr. Echo said cryptically, hinting to a deeper past for him, as he heads back to his shack. “What an odd fellow. I like him.” Mack said, as he motions the jellyfish to move. The jellyfish then flies upward, as Mack hangs on, and looks at the island of Nevarro from below, fascinated. While flying, he spots another shore, where two destroyed pirate ships are, belonging to several crews that attempted to take the treasure. However, also on the shore is a small, rusty boat, confusing Mack. Enhalas rarely sees any advanced machinery and technology such as that, especially on obscure islands like Nevarro. Powerful countries have attempted to use technology such as this against the pirates, but the pirates are quicker to adapting than they think, or perhaps, the supernatural oddities that surround the area also played a factor in keeping them away. Whatever it means, Mack knows this will only complicate his hunt further. Mack keeps flying, and sees a large, run down steel bunker ahead, which is the “fortress” Echo described. Mack tells the jellyfish to go lower, as he tries to make out what he can. From a stealthy view, he sees several mysterious, cloaked, rugged tattooed people holding weapons. They are carefully guarding the “fortress”. “Motley lot.” Mack noted. Mack has no idea what to make of this group. Were they secret island natives? Cannibals? Another group of pirates or hunters? Whoever they were, one thing is clear: They are in the way of his treasure. Below him, he spots the bodies of Valek’s initial group of men that were sent to investigate. They too perished by whoever the strange group guarding the fortress is. Mack makes the jellyfish go down lower into the trees, and hides behind one. The jellyfish then makes a noise and carefully flies away from the area. “One way trip, eh? Thanks for your service, jell acquaintance.” Mack said to the jellyfish, as he sees it flying off back to Echo’s farm. Mack walks carefully through the trees, trying to get closer to the bunker up ahead. He then improvises a plan, as he casually strolls out in the wide open. All of the people aim their guns and broken weapons right at Mack. “Don’t take one more step, pirate!” A woman yelled, ready to fire her gun. “Oh, but I shall. You stand between my prize that I plan to commandeer and use said riches to rise up back to the top of the totem pole. Unlike the other saps before, I am much different, for I be Captain Mack Stark. Surely you’ve heard of me, yeah?” Mack bragged, trying to distract them. “Never heard.” A sniper from up top replied, as he opens fire, and Mack runs around, avoiding shots. Mack then swings his sword, clashing with several of the bullets. He then goes into hiding behind another tree, as another blast hits one of the branches. “Oh dear.” Mack said, as he looks through the items he salvaged from the pirate loot. He shoots one of the looted pistols at a guard, hitting them in the arm, and disarming their rusted blade. He sends several more shots to scare them off, but the gun runs out of ammo. He is annoyed and tosses the pistol right at a guard’s head, angering them. “Lootin’ really is a game of roulette, you never know if you’ll get the bad end of the draw.” Mack said to himself. The guard approaches closer, as Mack runs around the trees, hiding from the angry guard. Mack approaches behind the guard, and taps his shoulder. The guard turns around, seeing Mack is gone, as they swing their sword at a tree. Mack then jumps them from behind and knocks them in the back of their head with his sword’s hilt, making the guard fall unconscious to the ground. The other guards come to this sight, and Mack is gone. “Who else wants a piece of me?” Mack bragged, as his voice echoes through the forest, and the guards angrily fire their guns around. Mack then swings down from a tree and knocks down two of the guards. He then slashes his sword at another guard, stabbing them in the leg. He keeps playing around with the others, swinging his sword around. One guard stabs their sword forward, but Mack avoids it and then trips them to the ground and knocks them out. Another guard tries to punch Mack, but he grabs their arm and throws them forward. Mack then jumps up, grabbing a large branch above, and spins off of it. He lands deeper into the forest, right into a group of more guards. “…Oh.” Mack realized. “End of the line, pirate scum.” One of them said, about to fire. Suddenly, multiple gun blasts go off, taking out the group one by one. Mack slashes at the two remaining guards, knocking them down. Mack is curious where these blasts came from, as he cautiously waves his arms in the air. “…Parlay?” Mack bargained to the shooter, whoever it may be. The shooter approaches from the shade, revealing a rusty, black assassin robot holding guns in both hands. The robot is made of junk and scrap, not looking very advanced. Mack is fascinated by this odd sight for a pirate setting, and realizes it must have taken the rusty boat he saw earlier. The robot approaches the two remaining guards, and kills both with two shots. “Uh…thanks, mechanical terror from beyond my wildest dreams.” Mack said curiously, as the robot begins to analyze Mack to determine if he is a threat. “Are you with the guild, pirate?” The robot asked. “I suppose you could say I’m a friend of someone associated with the guild, if that counts on your computer’s programming.” Mack said. Mack then pokes the robot’s steel core with his sword. “Do not do that.” The robot said sternly. “My apologies. You got a name?” Mack asked. “IR-44. I am an assassin for the guild, and have been sent for the asset identified as the “treasure”.” IR-44 said. “Great, so am I. I am Captain Mack Stark, surely you have heard of me!” Mack bragged. “No.” IR-44 replied. “Disappointing. But perhaps we can ally together for this task, you have quite the gunslinging methods.” Mack said, impressed. IR-44 processes this. “We may, but only one of us walks away with the treasure.” IR-44 replied. “How about we split it 60-40?” Mack offered. “That is an uneven deal.” IR-44 replied. “Blasted machine…help me get in and we’ll figure that out, savvy?” Mack replied to the machine. “Yes. There are still several guards waiting at the entrance. I must warn you that if I am captured, I must initiate a self-destruct protocol.” IR-44 said. “Let’s not do that, yeah? Follow my lead.” Mack replied, as the two head back to the bunker. They hide behind trees, as they see several snipers up top, and a three more guards stationed outside, waiting for the rest to come back. “On my signal-“ Mack was saying. IR-44 then walks forward. “What is that thing?!” One of the guards yelled, shooting at it. IR-44 then begins to spin its body around, and opens fire at the snipers on top, taking them out. “You sure have initiative.” Mack said impressed, walking forward, and clashes his sword with one of the remaining guards. Mack slides his sword along the guard’s blade like he did to Sawyer, and grabs him. He tosses him against the metal wall. IR-44 then shoots him, and takes out the lone remaining guard. “Show-off.” Mack said, as the two head for the bunker. The two enter the bunker cautiously, waiting to see if anyone else is waiting inside for them. There is no movement. There is much junk scattered across the floor. At the end of the room, thrown against papers, is an emerald studded metal treasure chest with a mysterious lock. “Well that is a conundrum, Higgs never mentioned it’d be locked up…” Mack said, pondering a new improvisation. IR-44 then opens fire at the lock, breaking it off. “Just as planned!” Mack said. He slowly opens the treasure chest. Mack expects a lot of untold riches. But what he gets is something else entirely. Instead the chest is…an unidentifiable, mysterious green slug like creature with two, small black eyes. Mack is paralyzed by this, as this is not what he expected was worth all the trouble over. Yet, Mack feels something majestic, fascinating and unnatural about this creature. It is no ordinary “treasure”, he knew that much, at least not ones he’s familiar with. The “Treasure” stares at Mack in fascination, and smiles. IR-44 then points its gun at The Treasure and is about to fire. “Whoa, whoa…hold up mate, this treasure looks to be very valuable, and a living being.” Mack said, trying to make IR-44 lower its gun. “My command was specific: I have orders to terminate.” IR-44 said, pointing its rusty gun to the creature, as it gives off sad eyes. A gun blast goes off. Suddenly, IR-44’s body collapses to the ground, fried due to a shot into the back of its metal head from Mack. He stole IR-44’s other gun when it wasn’t looking, and tosses it aside. “Treasures aren’t for “termination", especially…this.” Mack said. Mack stares at the strange slug creature in curiosity, wondering what he has gotten himself into. … Meanwhile, The Eclipse Pearl is sailing through the murky seas of Enhalas, surrounded by the ominous fog again. The light from Juliet’s medallion reaches the ship, as the light shines onto a mechanism which records where it’s traveling from on a paper, and makes a compass point in the direction of Port Royale. The pirate crew gasps upon seeing this, and realizes it only means one thing. A pirate goes into the captain’s cabin to report this. A lone figure is sitting at the desk, mostly obscured by the shadows. “Captain Bedossa…the last piece of the gold has finally been found. It’s coming from Port Royale, according to the directions.” The pirate reported to the one known as Bedossa, who stands up. “Aye, it truly has been a long time. To Port Royale we be headin’, boys!” Bedossa decreed sinisterly, letting out a smile. Notes/Trivia: -Character Debuts: Mack Stark, Juliet Rose, Sawyer Turner, Hector Bedossa, Admiral Valek, Commodore James Tyrell, Mr. Echo, Governor Isaac Rose, Vince Higgs, Mr. Brown, Pearson, Toby, Murray, IR-44 and -Area Debuts: Enhalas, Port Royale, Nevarro -Ship Debuts: The Eclipse Pearl, Dauntless, Crimson Devil, Interceptor, and Jolly Mon (sunk) -Enhalas is based on the Bahamas and in turn, Caribbean sea. Like Posidonia in Mystic Guardians, it is also named after a sea plant, in this case, Enhalus. I feel so content after writing this. The spark really is back.
  38. 1 point
    This special ended up being not as good as expected and it wasn't as good as Handemounium but it was a much better special than Birthday Bloutout imo. My only complaints with this episode are that pacing can be messy at times and i wish they'd cut down on craziness and loudness but what made me like the episode was the overall plot. It was just too much fun to see behind the scenes of Glove World and I loved parallels they made with Glove World/Disneyland and Mr. Glove World/Walt Disney. Best jokes to me were the reference about frozen Walt Disney theory, hamfisted line, Mickey Mouse reference, and Patrick yelling at the old robot that he broke the Mr. Glove's head cuz old robot kept saying they broke the rules. I do wish this episode was better than what we got but it was still a pretty entertaining SpongeBob special imo. Grade: B+
  39. 1 point
    Happy birthday @Nick Cannon!
  40. 1 point
    To celebrate the 21st anniversary of my birth, I am officially going to make 9 plus 10 equal 21.
  41. 1 point
  42. 1 point
    Little Women wow, can I even put into words how good this film was? Such a warm, beautiful, funny look at society and specifically women’s role in society during a time where they didn’t have the agency they deserved. What a script! What a musical score! Saoirse and Florence 100% deserve their Oscar noms (and Greta should’ve gotten a directing nod, ahem). It just made me so happy.
  43. 1 point
    Damn, ROH really gave The Villain the world with what they offered in order to retain his services. Making WWE main roster money in ROH has been unheard of up til now and they even handed the books over to him AND for only 40 dates a year. Can't blame him for taking such a sweet deal. And all the speculation about him working to keep bridges open with both NJPW and NWA, along with possibly building a new one with AEW, this could lead to even bigger things further down the line should the wrasslin gods will it to be. Each promotion has a key, unique component that could help the others grow along with em. Securing the services of Brian Cage is definitely a huge get for AEW, who need more hoss-types to further diversify their talent pool. Plenty of fresh match ups lined up for him. They should also seriously consider making a play for Jeff Cobb, who hasn't formally re-signed with ROH yet last I heard. If he still ain't on WWE's radar now, he would be a token to any other roster out there. Very good on Alex Shelley for finally getting recognized and picked up by WWE, especially after his past hardships in recent years. Been a fan of his since I first saw him wrestle for TNA in 2005, so this has been a LONG ass time coming. Better late than never, I guess. He'll be right at home in NXT for however long this run for him may be. Would be a hell of a treat if they manage to bring in Chris Sabin, as well. And lastly, very saddened to hear about La Parka II's passing. It's always hard to hear about wrestlers passing away years before their time, but it's especially heartbreaking seeing them give their lives doing what they love in the ring. Tragic times like this serves as a grim reminder to us fans just what kinds of risks these highly trained men and women undertake for our entertainment each time they step through the curtains. I hope he's at peace and resting easy in paradise. My condolences go out to all his loved ones.
  44. 1 point
    THEY TELL ME IMMA BE A LEGEND I DON'T WANT THAT TITLE NOW CAUSE ALL THE LEGENDS SEEM TO DIE OUT
  45. 1 point
    There's only a handful of episodes that I declare "irredeemable garbage". (those episodes being Pet or Pests, Summer Job, and Big Sister Sam) Even some of my least favorite SpongeBob episodes have at least one or two parts that I liked or had no problem with. All That Glitters: SpongeBob being reunited with Spat was a heartwarming little moment. Fungus Among Us: decent foreshadowing + the ending got a chuckle out of me To Love a Patty: The grilled shoe joke + SpongeBob's cutesy face when he took his patty out to dinner The Splinter: The beginning was alright, even if it was a little too slow-paced for my taste + "P.S: You're an idiot". Sun Bleached: The radical soda guy. Choir Boys: The talking toilet paper + The return of the grandma from "Have you Seen This Snail?" Squid's Visit: Squidward going insane was actually somewhat funny. Shuffleboarding: "My leg!" + Man-Ray's shrunken head The Clash of Triton: References to the Goofy Goober Stuck in the Wringer: SpongeBob telling Patrick off was cathartic. Someone's in the Kitchen with Sandy: "ooh..try again" A Pal for Gary: As much as I LOATHE this episode, I actually gave it a 2/10 instead of a 1/10 because the beginning was tolerable + Gary saving SpongeBob was pretty awesome + the design of monster Puffy Fluffy looks cool + heck, I even don't mind the design of normal Puffy Fluffy. Yours, Mine and Mine: As terrible as the episode is, I actually tolerate it. The 30% cuter gag was kinda funny as well. Rodeo Daze: "How to open things" was a pretty funny little gag and the rodeo song was tolerable. One Coarse Meal: The ending got a chortle out of me, plus the "suicide" scene came across as more of a frivolous segment than a serious one. Trenchbillies: Patrick playing SpongeBob as a banjo. Hide and Then What Happens?: The appearance of Patrick Not-Star. House Sittin' for Sandy: The ending is slightly entertaining, and seeing SpongeBob in a French maid outfit is...rather alluring. Smoothe Jazz at Bikini Bottom: Kelpy G's return Squid Baby: "My face! My face! Also my leg, but mostly my face!" Ink Lemonade: The haunted house scene was intriguing. As far as some other unpopular SB opinions: Jellyfishing was one of season 1's stronger episodes. It's not in my top 5, but it's genuinely hilarious. Ugh was an amazing episode that would easily go in my top 50. Party Pooper Pants and The Sponge who Could Fly are both good episodes. Squid Wood was a decent episode. Just seeing SpongeBob dance with mini Squidward was just adorable and it's very hard for me to find any overt Squidward torture in it. Breath of Fresh Squidward ain't half bad. Sure, the second half was a bit annoying, but the first half was great. It's so charming to see Squidward genuinely enjoying himself. Spongehenge was just a middling, albeit intriguing episode. If the episode had better pacing, it would have been a good episode, maybe even a great one. Yeah, the ending was pretty agonizing towards poor SpongeBob, but the rest of the episode is at least somewhat captivating. Gone was another intriguing episode. The ending, while overhated, was stupid but I didn't particularly mind it at all. Cephalopod Lodge, while absolutely stupid, was actually really hilarious. I couldn't take that episode seriously at all, especially with all of those Illuminati secret society references. One Coarse Meal's biggest flaw was how drop-dead boring it was, not the infamous suicide scene. The Cent of Money was just a mediocre episode. Seeing SpongeBob confronting Mr. Krabs of his wrongdoings was just a breath of fresh air, especially after watching A Pal for Gary. Are You Happy Now was an enjoyable episode and the infamous scenes were pretty funny. SpongeBob was also pretty likeable in this one, which was something that I didn't quite expect. I think that the way they portrayed depression was executed in a feasible way. SpongeBob, You're Fired wasn't an abomination. I still don't like it, due to it having an idiotic and scatterbrained plot, Krabs at one of his worst appearances yet, and how they turned SpongeBob into a workaholic, but it has several redeeming qualities. Seeing Squidward saving SpongeBob was just awesome, the mascot fight was pretty clever, and the scenes with Patrick's mutated second head were all hilarious.
  46. 1 point
    For those of you that don't get how huge of a deal the death of Soleimani is, I'll try to make it clear. Some people thought it was like assassinating our National Security Advisor... but no. Soleimani was a national hero in Iran, and us killing him is very much equivalent to anyone taking out our Vice President. Soleimani said once that he wanted to be made a martyr. Now, we've given him exactly that. With the Iranian people rallying behind is death, the Iran nuclear deal is completely done. All signs are pointing to us heading straight into war, something I've been dreading would happen for a while now. Now, how big of a deal is that? Well... Iran is not Iraq. It's not Syria. It's not Afghanistan. It's not like any country that we've invaded since 9/11. Iran is a powerful player in the Middle East, and until recently, a relatively-stable country for the region. Before Trump pulled us out of it, they were held to an agreement (the aforementioned Iran nuclear deal) that prevented them from developing nuclear weapons. Under Soleimani's command, their military played a crucial role in fighting ISIS. Most of all, though, they have a population more than twice the size of Vietnam, the country where we lost our most infamous war: I don't care what political stripes you have, or if you have any at all. Everybody needs to come out against this war, because if (probably when, sadly) we get into it with Iran, it'll be worse than any we've waged since WWII. Don't listen to anyone who wants to tell you otherwise - more than likely, they're the same people who said we would be in and out of Iraq in months, that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction, and that Venezuela currently poses a national security threat to us. ♫ When two tribes go to war / One is all that you can score ♫
  47. 1 point
    Hello, I'm Scott, president of Domino's Pizza. Have you heard of Hatsune Miku?
  48. 0 points
    *shakes nervously a bit that Can You Spare a Dime is only 6-5*
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