Gengar

Community Deathmatch

The Next Big Poll!  

15 members have voted

  1. 1. Upon whose corpse shall Nards' client, Zaid CatDog, feast on next?



418 posts in this topic

Oh, god this made me almost die laughing. Alt-Beachers :Laugh: 

Seriously, though, Brian Wilson is a mad genius, along with Daniel Johnston, Chris-chan, and Syd Barrett. Good job, Jenks.

Spoiler

oh, and by the way, nominate me for the alt-beachers party in the 2033 election #MakeBrianWilsonGreatAgain :funny: 

 

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20 minutes ago, Aya♥ said:

Renegade as Black makes me laugh more than it should

Same. I barely know much about pro wrestling in recent years, but this had me rolling, rock, roll, rock, Plymouth Rock roll overrrrr... :funny: 

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sorry, not sorry

 

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The following you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is not entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein... Anyway, you're just TOO DAMN OLD!!

 

 

"You've Been Great Served" & "Trash Talk"


Our episode opens up to a shot of SpongeBob's #1 Fan standing at a podium on the top of the entrance ramp. He has on a suit and tie, all dressed up for a very formal affair, seemingly. Of course, it's a wonder how he even knows how to dress himself. He somehow grabs a microphone all by himself, which only adds to today's surprises, and takes it to his mouth right before placing it in his mouth, whole. A yes man from backstage comes out to tell him that that's not what the microphone is for and walks him through on what to do from here.

SpongeBob's #1 Fan: Welcome to the first ever Community Deathmatch edition of JCMterviews! Starring, JCM- what?! JCM is starring in this?

SpongeBob's #1 Fan literally thinks out loud right before following this so that he can corner it in a dark alley later.

 

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JCM makes his way out to the ring now a little too over enthusiastically to a roaring silence despite his best efforts to get the crowd to give at least two shits about him.

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JCM: Yeah, that's what I wanna hear!

SpongeBob's #1 Fan: But JCM, I don't think they seem to care at all.

JCM: That was sarcasm, Fanny, now fucking educate yourself or I'll follow you back to your home and kill you in your fucking sleep.

SpongeBob's #1 Fan: Was that a sarcasm? 

JCM: Nah, man. Nah. But Imma catch you later! Tonight, outside, at the end of my butterfly knife!

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JCM: Anywho! I just wanna take a moment to welcome you all to the first ever JCMterview here on Community Deathmatch, filmed LIVE on location in a thread that more than two people will read!

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JCM: My first guest this evening is fortunately not anyone of you guests, so y'all can gladly stop sucking up all my future babies!

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JCM: But nah, my first guest here tonight is somebody who claims that SBM is in rather dire straits of late, currently going through its "worst month in SBM history". I know, surprising, because I thought that was every month!

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JCM: But nah, here's The Great Server.

 

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TheGreatServer makes his way to the ring, fresh back from his almost half an hour break from SBM.

JCM: Look at you, looking all accomplished with your cut-rate reviews and shit! Bring it in, my man!

JCM brings The Great Server in for a hug but quickly dodges it at the last second.

JCM: Gotta love this guy, man, such a card!

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JCM: But first thing's first on tonight's agenda, how does it feel like to finally find yourself in such a godly thread in comparison to what SBM tries to pass off as "humor"?

TheGreatServer: To be honest with you, JCM, 

Story: 9.5/10
 
The story of this lit is amazing, This old man named Old Man Jenkins lies in a community of SpongeBob fans called the SpongeBob Community, He takes dumps on people for a living.
 
Characters: 10/10
 
The characters are perfect, We have Old Man Jenkins, Jjs, Hayden, The Ding of Dings, ACS, PatBack, Bad Reviews Halibut, Renegade, and Guano, another really small cast, and these characters are also lovable, I cut and pasted these things in my Rocko's Modern Life review though.
 
Humor: 10/10
 
The humor is also perfect, It's memorable, full of innuendos, and is overall just...great.
 
Overall: 4/10 (Perfect Show)
 
I love this lit and would put it in My Top 5 topics of all time!
 
JCM: Yeah, well, get off your own dick. I didn't ask for your whole life story. 

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JCM: Anyhow! What's with the white hair? I know this picture to represent you comes from that Lamo Show

TheGreatServer: I knew it was gonna be just a matter of time before that gets said.

JCM: but yah, that shit's still got me tripping. Are you that stressed, son? Did you scared shitless? Please let us know here first on JCMterviews!

TheGreatServer: Well, Lincoln has 12 sisters, which is very relatable, so that all really adds up and overwhelms a young boy.

JCM: But nah, to put that laughing my ass off show firmly off to the side, I think we all here at JCMterviews really wanna know just how you feel finally being showcased here at the showcase of the immortals, Community Deathmatch, which is an oxymoron, mind you.

SpongeBob's 1 Fan: What's that? Can I get the stains out of my underwear by using that?!

JCM: Perhaps the bloodstains once I'm done with you, but yah. The Great Server! Finally making his Community Deathmatch debut, and the possibilities for opponents are almost endless! I mean, we could have The Great Server vs ACS!

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JCM: We all know how much ACS is salivating at the thought of finally getting his stubby ass fingers on you! We could have The Great Server taking on all them Loud House haters! Now wouldn't that be a treat, people?!

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JCM: But nah, or-

???: *the audible sound of somebody nutting*

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@Jaredthedecimator : EAT FRESH!

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JCM: we could just...have this. Motherclucker, answer me right quick before I let Jesus take over from here, just what in God's name are you thinking stepping into a Deathmatch ring with an absolute daughterfucker like Jaredthedecimator.

TheGreatServer: Well, I was thinking that having a match with one of the toughest SOBs on Community Deathmatch was enough to pull me out of my one hour retirement. Am I nervous? Yeah. Am I scared? Absolutely. But if I can somehow, someway, pull off the upset, perhaps everybody on SBM will finally lay the fuck off me and treat me and my opinions with a little more respect, seeing as how I may very well beat the Monster Among Children. Because I truly believe that any kid with twelve sisters has a fighting chance! I can only imagine what that may do...for my reviewing career...

JCM: Well, hopefully two or three people out there will care enough to imagine what could have been after tonight. This is JCM for JCMterviews, signing out!

JCM quickly logs off, leaving TheGreatServer to fend for himself from here.

Jjs: Does this little shit actually think he can pull the upset here tonight?

Hayden: The only "upset" we may be seeing, jjs, is the slim chance that some upset people might be butthurt by their character portrayals here tonight!

Jjs: Somebody should really notify TheGreatServer's next of kin, his 12 sisters, and break the news to them that the Lamo House is about to get a little less lame after this one! Because their brubber is about to go one-on-one against The Monster Among Children here on SBC, who likes to eat it fresh out of the womb! This is a monster of a man who proudly proclaims himself to be The New Face of Daisy's Destruction!

Hayden: And this isn't the former subway guy's first experience in a Deathmatch ring. No sir. He has fought in an exhibition match before in OMJ's blog before against an equally as young, equally as parasitic of a tapeworm, nameless member who Jared just absolutely dominated with tremendous feats of both strength AND speed for such a big man! Mind you, the kid he was facing then obviously had a much stronger opinion that more people can honestly get behind than TheGreatServe does. So don't be surprised if you see a literal cut and paste of that decimation on display here tonight!

Jared finally steps foot into the ring and immediately backs TheGreatServer into a corner, who cowers. 

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Clem actually does his job and gets Jared to back off him.

Jjs: SBC's very own server giving his fellow server a helping hand in getting the decimator off of him for the time being!

Hayden: I think TheMediocreServer here is finally beginning to realize just what he's up against. Not Who(Bob), but what.

Clem: Alright y'all, I want a good, clean-

TheGreatServer quickly goes on the attack, trying to catch Jared off guard with a pair of surprise punches to the face, but they barely even phase him. Jared simply brushes those off before grabbing Server and hammering him down to the mat with authority.

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Jjs: Ooh! It's almost as if Jared just whipped out his dick and slapped it right across Server's chest!

Jared picks Server up off the ground effortlessly and roars into his face before putting him back into the corner. Jared licks his chops pervertedly before running into the opposite corner and bouncing back right into Server with great force behind his splash, squishing Server in between him and the corner turnbuckle. Jared then plops himself onto Server into the corner, trying to sneak a taste 

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before finally Face Fucking the kid into oblivion, leaving the once great server an absolute mess on the ring canvas.

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Clem: Winner, Jaredthedecimator!

Clem, despite feeling that it's his duty to look out for a fellow server, immediatelybails from the ring as Jared pulls the straps down on his top, going shirtless, before Face Fucking TheGreatServer even more.

Jaredthedecimator: I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!

Jjs: Oh dear Neptune, he's going in for seconds!

Hayden: As if the first time wasn't sloppy enough!

Jjs: Stop it! Stop it goddammit! He's had enough! And I'm not just saying that because I want him to be more active here on SBC! I mean, the kid's got a family! HE HAS SISTERS! There is absolutely nothing to laugh my ass off to here! No matter what he may have done on SBM, it certainly isn't enough to justify this!

Hayden: Stick to the goddamn diet, Jared! You're eating out in excess!

Jared finally decides he's had enough after the fifteenth Face Fuck. He then makes his exit from the Deathmatch Arena, but not before making one more demand.

Jaredthedecimator: I WANT YOUNGER COMPETITION!

Jjs: Good lord, he wants even younger competition?! Maybe I should ramp up SBC's advertising campaign? Maybe even lure some SBMers back here?

Hayden: Yeah, maybe you should do both of those things. Just to make sure that WE can be safe!

Jjs: Just who in this community can even hope to last more than a minute against The Monster Among Children?!

Hayden: Certainly not WhoBob.

Jjs: Now that, we can agree on once again, best buddy! But right about now would be the part of the show where we tell you to have a good fight, good night. Well, tonight, we here at Community Deathmatch have a special surprise in store for you, because you will be getting two, count em, TWO Deathmatches in one post! A feat I don't think we've accomplished since The Deathmatch Salute to Wumbo!

Hayden: But if that's a wrong, feel free to take it to me first so that I could tell you just how fucking wrong you are, and just how fucking right my best friend, jjs, is!

Jjs: You'd do that for me? 

Hayden: I'd do anything to you, jjs!

Jjs: Wow Hayden, I couldn't have asked for a better best friend to have! *wipes tear*

Hayden: So without any further ado, let's drink in this gift of a second Deathmatch, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn!

 

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Fairly new SBM member, Younes, makes his way to the ring now, flaunting the t-shirt that he shat out personally for such an occasion.

Jjs: It seems the advertising campaign that I have yet to kick into high gear has paid off!

Hayden: In dividends!

Jjs: Welcome aboard S.S. SBC, Younes! I'll be happy to have ya!

Hayden: Ahem.

Jjs: Just not as happy I would be having my best friend, Hayden!

Younes enters the ring and calls for a microphone.

Younes: Amazing SPONGEBUDDY!!!

The crowd goes ballistic, borderline gay, for the guy.

Younes: Hello my Friend!!! ^-^ what do you think of my design? rofl.gif

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Younes: if you want it you have just to visit the URL https://goo.gl/tZNsPh to Find Your Best t'shirt #Love__Spongebob ! :wub:

Jjs: I'm immediately regretting that now :bruh:

Hayden: You and me both, best buddy, you and me both.

Younes: if you like it please rate it 0 --> 10 :*

Hayden: You want to know what I'd rate? Huh? Do you wanna know what rating such a piece of filth would get from the likes of Hayden tho?! *clicks pen* Younes just ma-

 

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Jjs: The Hot Tempered Enigma, The Perfect 10! He's here! He's finally here in the Deathmatch Arena!!! Hayden, I think about everybody here have just about died on gone to heaven!

Hayden: Heh, yeah. Not everybody.

Crowd: 10! 10! 10! 10! 10! 10! 10! 10!

Jjs: 10! 10! 10! Come on, Hayden, you can't possibly hate on one of the greatest members to have ever stepped foot in this community!

Hayden: I thought you knew me better than that, jjs. Pfft, watch me. Perfect 10, do you know what you get for dare interrupting my catchphrase? Huh?! Do you know what committing such an egregious sin will earn you in this life, Hot Tempered?! I'll tell you hwat *clicks pen* YOU JUST MA-

Jjs grabs Hayden's writing hand to stop him.

Hayden: Jjs?! What do you think you're doing, you stupid id-

Jjs: *gasps*

Hayden: ...As my best friend, I want you to explain yourself. Now.

Jjs: Hayden, I'm sorry best buddy, but this is just somebody that I simply can not and will not allow to be put on your list.

Hayden: What're you saying, that I-

Jjs: I won't allow it.

Hayden takes a big gulp, retracts his pen and slowly puts it down.

Hayden: Very well then. But you are only delaying the inevitable, best buddy.

Jjs: Yes, folks, a man of few words, but just one number. The Perfect 10 has finally come back to the community!

The Tenigma: Entrance%2B2.gif

The Tenigma continues basking in his moment when

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Jjs: What the fuck? What's the meaning of this?!

Hayden: Finally, somebody with a working brain in their skull who shares the same unpopular opinion as I do!

Jjs: This is completely uncalled for! This assault is unprovoked! The Tenigma did nothing to deserve this!

Hayden: He existed, he breathed air! THAT is what he did! And I couldn't agree with this act of god any more! Somebody up there is REALLY looking out for me!

Jjs: This isn't the time, Hayden!

Hayden: You're right, best buddy, I need to savor this moment for every damn thing that it's worth!

The assailant pulls The Tenigma back up off the ground and right into a End of Discussion right onto the arena floor. The crowd rains down with a chorus of :patboos:

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Jjs: Bah gawd, I think that killed him!

Hayden: I sure fucking hope it did, jjs! I sure fucking hope it did. They're doing these stupid idiots a favor.

The attacker dusts himself off and motions for a mic to be brought to them.

Jjs: Hey, isn't that- No. Isn't that SBM member, SquiddyPie?!

Hayden: So that's who I have to thank for all of this.

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SquiddyPie: For too long. For too long, I've watched this fandom of the show I've loved be reduced to a laughingstock! And it's all thanks to the likes of you.

He points down to The Tenigma.

SquiddyPie: And you.

He points over to Younes.

SquiddyPie: But most of all, people like each and every one of you 

He points around at everyone in attendance.

SquiddyPie: who enable this behavior to a point that it's become a cancer! You now have people bitching like the little, whiny, spoiled bastards that they are about how we discuss the damn show that these sites revolve around! Saying that there isn't much left to talk about, yet they sure do go above and beyond in the absolute stupidest, self-deprecating ways to try and put themselves and their shitty, stale ass senses of "humor" over with their memes, or at least their piss poor attempts at making em! You don't even have to discuss about a kids show to know who the real kids are around here. I don't even have to say names, because these dumb cunts know damn well who they all are. Shoving their, ironically, laughably unfunny shit in the faces of anybody with a set of eyes and ears to see and hear. So much so to the point that we degenerated into needing two, count em TWO, Dumps. It takes a real band of complete, utter dumbasses to mess up a perpetual trash forum. And you're not just gonna stop at one, now you're looking to somehow up the dumbass ante up and try to mess up two. You're about the only jokes I see around here. You've made "discussing SpongeBob" such dirty words to say nowadays. I think it's time somebody reminds you what REALLY belongs in the trash. Because I ain't done yet.

SquiddyPie makes his way into the ring now in The Tenigma's place.

Jjs: Not by a longshot, as he steps into the Deathmatch ring to try and take another member who he sees as "enabling such trashy behavior".

Hayden: I may not agree with all of it, but I can agree with that much, jjs!

Jjs: True, SBM is pretty trash. I mean, two trash forums?

Hayden: I know, what a bunch of headless chickens.

SquiddyPie stands across the ring from Younes, staring each other down.

Clem: Alright you two, I want a good, clean fight! So yeah, with all the talk about trash earlier, please keep that to a minimum. Alrighty then, lets get it on, y'all!

Jjs: And tonight's second featured Deathmatch is finally underway!

Hayden: You know who my pick to win is!

Jjs: You and me both!

SquiddyPie and Younes lock up in the middle of the ring, Younes in particular struggling for control, when SquiddyPie effortlessly throws him off into the corner with a lot more strength behind his argument.

Jjs: For having such a bod worthy of not having to put on a shirt, there sure is a noticeable difference in strength between Younes and his opponent!

Hayden: He's gonna have to fight this one on his own. None of his circle jerkers obviously aren't coming to his aid, as we've seen with The Tenigma right before him!

Younes uses the ropes to pull himself up before quickly going back in for the attack, but gets knocked right back out with a thunderous right hook from SquiddyPie.

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Hayden: SquiddyPie telegraphed that quite beautifully!

Jjs: Absolutely no chill when it comes to this SquiddyPie! I think it's best to have him cool off on the windowsill after this is over. Such seriousness behind his attacks, there is seemingly no getting past that stoic exterior!

SquiddyPie doesn't wait for Younes to regroup this time as he quickly pulls Younes up and right into another End of Discussion in the middle of the ring! 

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Younes is left busted open, lying motionless in the ring. Clem heads on over just raises SquiddyPie's hand in victory.

Clem: No contests here today. Winner, SquiddyPie!

 

SquiddyPie just smirks at the camera from the middle of he ring before immediately making his exit.

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Hayden: Leaving about as immediately as when he arrived. SquiddyPie proving tonight that he means nothing but serious business here on Community Deathmatch!

Jjs: Hayden, we had not just one, but TWO imposing, dominating forces arrive on the scene here at Community Deathmatch! And they both made incredibly short work of their opponents! I asked this earlier and I will ask again for emphasis, just who can stand up to this new breed of competitor here?!

Hayden: I don't know, but if there is one thing I do know, it's that they are absolutely nothing in comparison to us, jjs. :)

Jjs: Always and forever, Hayden. :)

Hayden: Drake and Josh, eat your hearts out.

Jjs: Well folks, I'm afraid that we really are all out of time! From myself and my best friend, Hayden, here at Community Deathmatch, we'd like to wish you all a good fight, good night!

 

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3 hours ago, Sunshine Banjo Face said:

figured Squiddlypie's role woould be ElectricPikachu aka mr. "Can't discern actual homophobia from people getting upset over spongebob episode rankings" :P

I actually tried basing SquiddlyPie's role on this argument

https://www.sbmania.net/forums/topic/54560-plz-make-your-signatures-smaller/

but thanks for bringing that up. There's potential for a tag team or a stable here :Laugh: 

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The following you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is not entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein... Anyway, he's gonna take you back to past! To watch those Miyazaki flicks that suck ass! He'd rather have a red yoshi take a diarrhea dump in his ear! He'd rather eat the rotten asshole of a dropped yoshi and down it with beer! Idk wtf I'm doing anymore.

 

 

Content Destroyer

Jjs: Good evening, death fans! I'm jjsthekid!

Hayden: And I'm jjsthekid's best friend!

Jjs: Here to bring to you yet another phoned-in edition of Community Deathmatch!

Hayden: Once agayn!

Jjs: And boy, what a piece of crap do we have in store for you! Will it be the smelly kind?

Hayden: Or perhaps even the corny kind, jjs!

Jjs: Well, you'll just have to stay tuned to find out! So without any further ado, let's head on down to the ring with one of SBC's official servers, Clem, who will no doubt put his trademark staleness to worse use here in officiating tonight's featured bout!

 

Jjs: Could it be?! The very much anticipated return of That Guy?!

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Hayden: Well, it sure is a guy, all right.

Jjs: By my name, that's YouTube content creator and resident SpongeBob reviewer who's actually loved, Pieguyrulz! I don't think we've seen him step foot in a Community Deathmatch episode since The SBM Show!

Hayden: And I don't think he's stepped foot in the SpongeBob Community, like, ever! So a double loss for anybody with minds of their fucking own. 

Jjs: You and me?

Hayden: You and me <3

Jjs: Just what in my name could his agenda be here on Community Deathmatch?

Hayden: Bleed us dry, more than likely. Cartoon reviewers are the worst kind of reviewers out there. Right next to WhoBob.

Jjs: That may very well be the case, but you certainly can not deny the fact that he must be swimming in all the nerd choch you can ever possibly imagine!

Hayden: Just look at the mindless sheep over on SBM practically handing the guy their bananas and cherries over like they were some sort of offering to a higher power!

Pieguy calls for a microphone to be handed to him.

Pieguyrulz: Hey guys, Pieguyrulz here!

Hayden: Oh, this should be just grand. Enlighten us, oh purveyor of stuck up opinions! Bestow upon us little people your litany of thoughts that are much sought after so in cut-rate video formatting! I'm no ears.

Pieguyrulz: I'm not a bad reviewer. I'm not a good reviewer. I'm PIE Guy!

Jjs: And there it is! The one thing that makes him suitable enough to be yet another Roman Reigns-inspired character. What? Is every user with the word "guy" in their name just gonna be lumped together with the Roman Reigns gimmick? Are we gonna see the (admittedly, long awaited) debut of The DS Guy next?!

Pieguyrulz: Some of you guys may not like this, some of you guys may love this. I should probably shut my mouth, but, when it comes down to it, no other content creator has more support here than I do. It's the truth. I have a thread that's 400+ pages strong and still going. Just look at Mr Enter, just look at MoBros, or Vailskibum, or EyeOfSol, or PhantomStrider. You can even look at RebelTaxi. You can look as hard and as much as you want, but you won't find them as easily as you can find me. So this is the plan, after the season 10 review, I don't care if I have to go through Whirly Brains or Sportz, I AM the #1 cartoon reviewer! And would you like to know why? Because this is MY SpongeBob fan choch, so I make the reviews around here!

 

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Jjs: Oh my me! It's AngryKoopa2002, here in the Deathmatch Arena!

Hayden: And he's looking every bit as angry as his stupid username seems to imply!

Koopa marches his way down to ring with a microphone and gets right in the face of his idol-turned-rival, Pieguyrulz.

AK: I couldn't help but notice that you seem to have forgotten my name. And I also couldn't help but notice that my name wasn't on that list, because you've NEVER beat me!

Pieguyrulz: Alright, I was trying to be a good guy in letting you off easy on this one, but I guess you all can even take a look right here. Right in front of you, AngryKoopa! Even harder to find when standing toe to toe with the likes of me.

AK: Well then allow me to reintroduce myself, my name is AngryKoopa2002! I am your reckoning, as well as the TRUE #1 content creator and your NEW favorite cartoon reviewer!

Pieguyrulz: You still have yet to take what I told you before to heart. Is it because, unlike all of the crap that comes spewing out of your mouth, it was true? You'll never be a TRUE reviewer to me, let alone a halfway decent one. You don't even deserve to bear the word "Angry" in your username! As far as I can see, you're only Just Koops. You will always be, much like your namesake implies, a generic, one (foot)note of a reviewer who's only angry because he's drowning in a sea full of them.

Koopa seems to back off a bit and even offers Pieguy a little golf clap before headbutting him right on the bridge of the nose with all his anger. Pieguy stumbles and rolls out of the ring to recover from the blow, but Koopa's immediately gives chase, meeting Pieguy on the outside and utterly having his way with him.

Jjs: It would seem that tonight's featured Deathmatch is officially underway as AngryKoopa finally lashes out at his former idol with a vicious, rather scumbobby assault, if I do say so myself!

Hayden: Pieguy has had his way with the cartoon fandom for years, it's about high time that somebody finally gives him a taste of his own shit, jjs! And that day's finally arrived in the form of "The Content Destroyer", himself!

AngryKoopa throws Pieguy back into the ring to really get this Deathmatch started up the right, but Pieguy quickly rolls back up to his feet and clocks Koopa with a Mermaid Man Punch right as the angry one stepped back into the ring. Pieguy sets himself up in the corner, lining Koopa up for something huge. Pieguy declares Koopa to be "ScumBob!" at the top of his lungs before charging in for a Spear of a Krabby Patty, but Koopa telegraphs this and meets Pieguy with a big boot right to the face, knocking Pieguy off his feet. 

Jjs: Koopa has proven himself to know all the ins and outs of his opponent, and he's putting that ability to read him into fine use right here! I mean, not just anybody can be declared ScumBob and not get torn to shreds! Right?

Hayden: The hell if I know, I don't watch shit. Except for right now, that is.

Koopa grabs Pieguy and charges him into the corner turnbuckle, before ramming into him repetitively with a series of powerful shoulder blocks right to the ribs. He finally takes a step back after the 10th shoulder block, but quickly catches Pieguy with an enzuigiri right to the side of the head, rattling him even more.

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Pieguy sinks into the corner, leaving himself open for Koopa to run the ropes and nail him in the face with a running knee to the face right into the corner, snapping Pieguy's neck back some. Clem gets Koopa to back off long enough for him to check on Pieguy's condition. As soon as it becomes clear that Pieguy is still breathing, Koopa charges back in for more, nailing him with repeating right hooks to the face repetitively before transitioning it into some more well-placed headbutts that causes Pieguy to lose his footing and get down on his back. Koopa lays in a series of forearms and elbows to the forehead of Pieguy now to even more disastrous results for his opponent. Koopa picks up Pieguy's limp body and whips him into the ropes. He readies for more punishment as Pieguy ricochets back towards him, but Pieguy surprises him with a huge clothesline that damn near almost takes his head off. Koopa recoils back onto the ropes, giving Pieguy the window to head outside the ring and nail him with a Drive Thru.

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Pieguy takes some time to bask in the SpongeBob fan choch coming his way at ringside when a dazed and groggy AngryKoopa suddenly puts everything on the line when he comes firing back to get some of that choch for himself.

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Koopa throws Pieguy head-first into the steel ring steps before picking him up and slamming him spine-first right down on top of them.

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Koopa puts Pieguy in a headlock and pulls him all around ringside like a rag doll until Pieguy musters up the strength to send Koopa face-first into the steel post of the ring when they got close enough.

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Pieguy turns Koopa around for some well placed uppercuts upside the destroyer's chin, beating him back into the ring. Koopa manages to brave the blows in order to whip Pieguy into ropes again. Pieguy tries meeting him with another big boot, but Pieguy ducks it this time and bounces back with another Mermaid Man Punch that knocks Koopa back off his feet. He belts out another primal "ScumBob!" yet again.

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Pieguy: SCUUUUUUMMMMBOOOOOOOBBB!

before charging at his opponent for another spear, but Koopa chops him down with a huge leg sweep.

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Koopa picks at the bones and sets Pieguy up in the corner for his patented Ball Buster.

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But right before he could bust Pieguy's balls, Pieguy manages to slide himself out once he got on top of Koopa's shoulders, leaving Koopa shocked and confused long enough for him to run the ropes and finally take Koopa down with a vicious Spear of a Krabby Patty.

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But suddenly

???: *the very audible sound of somebody nutting*

 

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Jjs: Hayden, wake up! Something slightly more important's finally come up!

Hayden: Does anybody other than Aya even care about this guy at this rate? The reaction to the last episode was just terrible with him at the forefront.

"The Abominable Pitch Man" slowly makes his way to the ring, staring a hole right through a confused Pieguy. The former face of Subway wastes no time hopping up into the ring, but Pieguy stops him right in his tracks with a huge uppercut, causing Jared to stagger a bit on the ring apron before cocking, loading and blasting Jared point blank in the face with a an even bigger Mermaid Man Punch that knocks Jared back down to the floor, but he still manages to land on his feet. 

Jjs: Dear me above, I don't think we've quite seen "The New Face of Daisy's Destruction" rocked like this before! At least, not in bed.

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Pieguy rants on Jared a bit before getting struck down with a thunderous enzuigiri to the back of the head courtesy of a barely conscious, and very angry, Koopa who decides to take advantage of the distraction. Koopa then pulls Pieguy into a Spirited Away clutch, wrapping himself around SBM's #1 SpongeBob reviewer and slowly squeezing the life out of him.

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Jjs: Koopa's looking to literally spirit away his opponent into the next world with his bare hands!

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Koopa also begins to up the pressure by shoving words down Pieguy's mouth for good measure. Just the mere thought of all that spongebob fandom choch places Koopa in a state of pure ecstasy as he continues going to work on Pieguy. Completely choking him out until he finally goes limp in his arms.

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After a hot minute of spiriting Pieguy away, Koopa finally loosens his death grip for Clem to survey. Clem wastes little time in raising Koopa's hand in victory.

Clem: Winner, AngryKoopa!

Koopa scares Clem off before getting scared off, himself, by Jared, who marches into the ring. The Content Destroyer and The Monster Among Children eye each other off.

Jjs: Ahhh shit, could we possibly see a clash of titans here tonight, folks?!

Jaredthedecimator: I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOOOOOUUUUU!!!

Jared grabs Pieguy's body and effortlessly throws it over the top rope and out of the ring. Jared smirks at Koopa and makes a suggestive locking gesture at him before following suit. Koopa finally leaves Jared to his business for all the fandom choch waiting for him back in the community, not wanting to witness anymore of what Jared has in store.

Jjs: Aw shit, cop out!

Jared pulls Pieguy's lifeless account up with only one hand and shouts right in his face

Jaredthedecimator: THIS IS ALL MY FRESH CHOCH!

Jared slings Pieguy over his shoulders before power slamming him right through the security wall between the ring and the guests.

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Hayden: As you are my witness, jjs, if Pieguy wasn't dead before, he sure as shit is now!

Jared almost immediately gets right back up to his feet and poses over Pieguy's body.

Jjs: "The Content Destroyer" is on the loose! "The Monster Among Children" is still very much among them here tonight as he lays claim to Pieguy's leftover choch! Just what does this spell for everybody else here on Community Deathmatch, Hayden?!

Hayden: I'm pretty sure it spells out that we're all out of time for tonight, best buddy!

Jjs: That, it does, Hayden! That, it does! So from all of us here at Community Deathmatch, stay safe, stay alive, and as always, we wish you a good fight, good night!

 

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