Gintoki♥

Ask the Great Aya anything

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"Alright! Goodnight everyone!" Sensei smiled his students as they sat around an open hotel lounge bonfire.

"There's no way I'm getting up from this lovely spot, Sensei." Gintoki remarked, staring into the embers of the fire. With each moment, he looked into the fire's light, he felt like it was slowly sucking his very soul out. "AH HELP!" He hastily stood up and cried.

"Let's gather round the campfire and sing our campfire song." Katsura said and then blushed. "Shinny, did you hear that? I made a Cheesehead-dono reference!"

"I did hear that, Honey." He smiled blissfully.

"Why are you five having a bonfire in the middle of a hotel lounge? That's pretty rude of their hospitality." Sensei smiled as the fellow residents all ran out of the hotel from this fire (and possibly Sensei's creepiness). And then Takasugi quickly got on the ground, to his knees in front of him.

"I'-I'm so sorry S-Sensei..." Shinsuke begged.

"HEY I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN GET ON HIS KNEES FOR SENSEI!" Oboro shouted out, his bird took a spat in Takasugi's direction.

"Shinsuke, your long hair fetish is showing again." Gintoki fell to his face on the open flames from the mysterious sword now sticking out of his back skull. Skele and Katsura stomped on his body to get rid of the flames, hurting him even moreso.

"I AM THE ONLY ONE WITH A LONG HAIR FETISH!" Oboro yelled out.

Sensei poured water over the fire and then on Oboro, Takasugi and Gintoki's heads.

"Hahaha you're all wet!" Sakamoto laughed.

Sensei then waved to them a friendly goodnight and Oboro smiled, following behind him.

"Sorry Oboro but I only have one bed!" Sensei said.

"Yeah I knew that when I booked the room." Oboro said very seriously. 

"Very well then, come with me." Sensei smiled. Oboro's eyes grew to the size of Lucy's diamonds. All of a sudden Poe came flying out and landed on his shoulder. "Here you go little fella, haha!" He placed Not What He Seems Bird Crumbs™  on his shoulder and Poe frantically pecked it up.

"POE... YOU TRAITOR!!" He screamed out and then fell to his knees, against the wall.

"Looks like you'll have to roommate with Gintoki and the others!" Sensei said while entering the elevator with Poe, he shed a single bird tear. For he knew he had betrayed his very best friend for the sake of bird food.

"OI!" Gintoki yelled out in detesting. "Are we all gonna take this jizz colored hair boarding room with us? Skele? Tatsuma? Takasugi? Katsur-"

"Those two already left like ten minutes ago and said they'd be back in eleven. Haha, wonder what drinks they're gonna get us." Skele said with his boney hand resting on his chin.

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"....Let's all quickly go back to the hotel room before they get back." Gintoki dead eyes said.

"Ahahaha! What about that white haired man over there though?" Sakamoto asked.

"Hmm." Skele looked at depressed Oboro in the corner of the hotel lounge room.

He had his face up to his knees and earbuds in his ears, listening to Rubber Soul on full blast. Oboro looked up for a second once he felt someone's presence there, he opened his eyes and saw a boney hand extending to him. 

"You okay?" Skele smiled, Oboro's black eyeliner under his eyes was running all down his face.

"SKEELEEEE." Gintoki and Sakamoto yelled out. Gintoki punched his head against the wall and Sakamoto held his hair in his head at this nice guy's deed.

"WE WERE SO CLOSE TO LEAVING PEACEFULLY AND NOW YOU GOT THIS JIZZ HAIR MANIAC IN ON OUR GIG!" Gintoki shouted.

"Hey guys, we're bac-" Katsura said entering into the room and holding Takasugi's hand.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Gintoki grabbed Sakamoto, Skele and Oboro and threw their deadweight bodies into the elevator along with himself. The samurai then punched a button to close the door shut.

"That's the last time we buy vending machine drinks for everyone." Shinsuke rolled his eye, dumping the tray of Sprites and Monster Energy Drinks into the trash.

"So what is the matter?" Skele asked Oboro, who was in another corner with his emo self. Gintoki let out a groan.

"Well.. you see I have a crush.. on this man." Oboro started to blush up.

"What's his name?" Sakamoto smiled.

"Uhh... Er... Uh...." Oboro fidgeted around.

"TATSUMAAAAAAAAA" Gintoki yelled.

"Come on Kintoki! This is much more interesting than whatever we were previously doing!" Sakamoto said.

This gave Gintoki bad flashbacks of the fire... it trapped his soul. He never wanted to go back to that he thought as goosebumps ran down his body and he gulped.

"Oi Jizz Hair, spit it out. We can only make this subplot so long." Gintoki hit him in the back with a mighty thud, causing his black guyliner to fall off.

"Um... Utsuro.." He finally spoke up.

"..."

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"...."

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"That's a lovely name!" Skele smiled. 

"Yeah I like it! Sounds foreign!" Sakamoto spoke.

"Fine.. Fine... if you really want the Yorozuya Gin-chan Dating Advice Experience™ kit, you must pay up, Birdy." "We're talking $29.99 American smackeroonies (plus shipping and handling.)" gintama-gem-series-sakata-gintoki-suit-v

"I have fourty Sensei Tokens, what will that buy me?" Oboro said pulling some out of his pocket.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO." Gintoki then straighten his tie. "Ahem. Depends.." Gintoki examined one of them. "What can I buy with them?"

"Any Not What He Seems Good Boy Flavored cookies!" Oboro smiled. Gintoki then ripped apart the elevator's doors and threw now yelling Oboro down the moving machine to his untimely death.

"Okay guys, let's go." Gintoki said stepping out of the elevator. Skele and Sakamoto looked deathly frightened at what just happened.

——

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"ROKU NO CHIMATA NIIIII"

“Chief’s voice is so beautiful, he could read a phone book and it would sound amazing.” No Man shed a tear and so did Abuto... almost. ;) 

“FIVE FOUR THREE SEVEN TWO ONE SIX NINE! THAT’S HITOSHI YURKO’S NUMBER!” Kamui sang out in a booming, lovely voice while looking through the yellow pages.

“You guys ever get FUCKING tired of Shinsuke and Shinsuke’s Husband stealing our spotlight now?” The songbird asked taking a break from the hotel complementary bedroom karaoke machine.

“Aw Chief, everyone had their turn in the spotli-“ Abuto was interrupted as he was flipping through some Harusame Monthly room quarters improvement pages.

“No, that’s the name of a song, silly old man!” Abuto looked up and Chief was in fact very right. 

“By Cyndi Laper eh?” He examined the karaoke machine, scratching his scruffy chin.

“OI! SHUT UP! We’re trying to makeover this jizz hair dude in here!” Gintoki yelled from the other room, pounding the wall. 

"Call me that one more time perm head scum." Oboro whipped out pressure needles different than the needle he usually whipped out.

“NO, you shut up pennyless Samurai! HA!” Kamui laughed but heard noble laughing on the left walls. “That sounds like Shinsuke’s Husband! I wonder what movie they’re watching WITHOUT me.” He smiled clinching his microphone tighter. 

Abuto looked at No Man with a sour expression, while No Man had his ears covered with the pillow. 

“Oh Chief...” Abuto shook his head at his boss’s lack of understanding things like that as usual.

“OI, If you don’t shut up I will make you shut up!” Gintoki could be heard slamming his room door shut. But instead of entering the yato’s room he stomped his way to two doors over. “ZURA! KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE LAU-“

Gintoki could be heard screaming high pitched and ran back into his room, slamming the door again and frantically locking it. 

“Gintoki, were just deep sea crab hunting with the Elites in our room.” Katsura could be heard saying. 

“TOO MUCH SOY SAUCE! IMITATION CRAB IS BETTER!” Gintoki could be heard saying, possibly in feeble positon. 

Abuto and No Man looked at the nonexisiting camera. Kamui was still smiling.

“Abuto. No Man. I say we take a visit to the Samurai’s room.” Kamui said cracking his knuckles. The boys slammed open the door, it cracked on the wall it hit. 

“WAIT! PLEASE! IT WAS JUST AN AUDIO GAG! I NEEDED MORE SCREEN TIME THEN OUR BRIEF SHIPWRECKING STORY LATELY!” Gintoki screamed, cartoonish sounding punches could be heard. “OI! SKELE! TATSUMA! JIZZ COLORED HAIR! HELP! THIS MAY BE A JOKE SIDE STORY BUT THEY ARE GIVING ME FULL ON YATO PUNCHES! JUST DON’T STAND THEREEEE! AAAAAAHHHH!”

Meanwhile Sensei and Poe could be seen watching a documentary on sea life and eating popcorn while on bed. 

"Wow. Everyone sure is making a ruckus in the other rooms. Eh Poe?" He smiled and handed a popcorn piece to the crow.

"CAAAW!" He said and guzzled it down.

---------

An hour later and the yato three were doing a BRAID TRAIN. Abuto had his hair already braided by Kamui, much to his demise. While Abuto was nervously braiding his Chief's hair, for one wrong move and he could lose his other arm. Kamui was pulling on No Man's few strain of hairs on his neck to braid, causing him great pain.

"Well that was fun! beating up some poor Samurai ass, boys but I'm kinda bored now." Kamui added in a sad tone, but kept his smile. "Let's invade the Valentine's arc and beat our other selves up to the death! Winner takes the other’s place in this world!” He stood up and got his rusty mallet out. And by rusty mallet he means his rusty Heady. 

"CHIEF! You can't just break the 4th wall that badly!" Abuto told him. "And I think we're the same people in either story."

"Why not?" He smiled, slugging Ungyo's head over his shoulder by his black braid. 

"I'm kinda split on this one dogs. On the one hand it would be like a cool video game to fight myself. Kind of like a glitch in the system. On the other hand, if either of me loses, I'll have to spend the rest of my life knowing I beat my own ass." No Man sat on the floor with a blanket as neither of them wanted to share a bed with his sticky self.

"Aren't you use to beating your body-" 

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"Well we can't visit ourselves and beat ourselves up. Not is it only not possible, it would be a damn waste of my time." Abuto-

"WE KNOW, SCRATCHED YOUR SCRUFFY CHIN!" Kamui and No Man yelled at the dialogue.

"Face it OLD man. You wouldn't fight yourself because both versions of yourself couldn't keep up with us younger kids." Kamui said and No Man gave him a high five. 

"Yeah OLD man." No Man laughed.

"No Man you're literally only two years younger than me." Abuto got into bed and laid down, turning away from the two.

"I guess it's just you and me Chief." No Man shrugged.

"Let's go to GODDAMN BIMMY'S old hideout and fuck shit up!" Kamui smiled big and hugged the even more decaying head of his former third officer. 

"Dog, who knows where that is and I kind of want to get that Chipotle in a few days man." The green man said but then Kamui punched him in the gut.

"Don't tell you EVER Chief what to do, HA! Let's go scare people in the hotel then since I do want some of that barbacoa burrito action. Follow me, Halfster." Kamui chuckled but No Man was bent over in pain but followed anyways.

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The cop duo was on the bed. Isaburo was standing up, preparing a speech to them perhaps. Nobume was reading up on her Good Boy and Girls in Japan while eating jelly filled donu- ahem Isaburo’s healthy carrot and celery snack he made for her specifically. It had a cute smiley face made of radishes and everything. Isaburo was all about the details. Takasugi was sitting on their bed with Katsura who was dangling his legs and eating a banana.

”Oh dear Neptune Katsura...” Shinsuke intensely looked at the long hair man slowly grasp the yellow stick between his soft lips and bite it down each time. Nobume threw her healthy snack in Takasugi’s face.

”Say Shinsuke, I never asked but why don’t you call your husband by his given name? Didn’t he take the name Takasugi anyways?” Isaburo wondered.

”Yes on paper he did. But I’ll show you. Hey Kotarou.” Shinsuke said.

“Kotarou janai, Katsura da!” He looked at his husband very seriously and even annoyed.

“Well then. Anyways here are a few ground rules while we both share this room.” Isaburo held up a scroll and it fell down, revealing a very long list of things for the couple not to do. He rolled it back up and handed it to Shinsuke, who promptly threw it out the window. 

“That is ridiculous.” Shinsuke said plainly. 

Katsura then looked at his hand and then to the floor. He slowly inched the hand to his husband’s behind but Nobume pulled out her sword. 

“We’re not kidding you know.” She said. 

“You know you could comply Shinsuke. After all you did become less of a terrorist and we did have to mix it up at headquarters because of it.” Isaburo added. 

Shinsuke was about to get his katana he always used during his tempter tantrums- I mean for defense but wondered what “mix it up” meant. Cut to headquarters, even though it was up in flames (literally) from its leaders being gone, the building was all shiny white marble and gold colors. The walls and giant gold and diamond studded pictures of Isaburo and Nobume in shades kept it tack as everything around it was burning up, the Mimawarigumi were yelling a muck. What that had to do with Shinsuke becoming less of a terrorist was something up for the readers to decide.

“Nobume. That’s right I have a few rules for you as well. No doughnuts past 12 am, it is bad for your health.” Isaburo proclaimed waving a finger like he was a parent. 

“That’s funny, I guess I’ll have to show everyone..... YOUR EMBARRASSING SNAPSHOT OF YOU AT THE CHRISTMAS PARTY.” She held it up for all the Eliteos and terrorists to see.

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“WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT?!” He pointed to the picture in question. Her, Takasugi and Katsura were in hysterical laughter.

”BWAHAHA! THOSE BEAN PAD PAW SOCKS!...” Katsura stopped laughing suddenly and turned to his husband. “Baby, will you get socks like that for me?” He asked quietly.

”I don’t know why you terrorists are laughing when you wore the same very outfit a few months ago!” Isaburo called them out, pulling out future blackmail pics of his own.

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“I don’t know, I think I look pretty good in the Christmas get up shtick myself.” Zoom out to Nobume.

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“Hey where’d that suburbian neighborhood behind her come from?” Katsura wondered.

”Hey, at least I was pulling it off well. And Katsura is already a well known hot babe pro at drag.” Boobssugi I mean Takasugi crossed his arms over his bosom I mean pecs.

”Yeah, biphobic much, police man?” Katsura said and gave Takasugi a slap on the ass I mean hand.

“What does that have to do with you two being bisexual... Fine Nobume. But only two doughnuts after 12 am.” He said. She then pulled out a giant ass copier machine and slammed in on the bed, putting the lewd picture of her boss on it. “Fine. A dozen but that’s it young lady. Now give me that picture.” The two Elites reached for it but ended up in a slap fight. Katsura looked in curiosity.

”Welp, I’m bored of this.” Shinsuke crawled over to his side of the bed and put the covers over him. 

---------

Cut forward to around 2 am, after a deliteful movie binge of all three Back to the Futures, water balloon pranking poor wavy haired civilians and smoking some joints I mean smoking some salmon and crab that Gintoki saw earlier. The elites (as always in their uniforms) were passed out on their own bed. Krispy Kreme donuts and Isaburo’s cellphones laid all over it. But a large lump in the covers of the terrorist couple’s bed next by could be seen. A faint giggle could be heard within it.

“Katsura stop laughing please. Honey, you’ll wake them up.” Shinsuke said looking down at him below.

“But I’m very ticklish, especially right there. You know that Shinny Boo.” He kept noble laughing.

“Shhh, Kotarou.” He whispered slightly angry.

“KOTAROU JANAI KATSURA DA! SHINSUKE, I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT OR ZURA, ESPECIALLY DURING S-“

They saw a sword go through the covers, causing them to scream. It just barely missing them and instead hit a plastic bottle and yellow oil poured out of it. 

“CANOLLAAAAA!” Katsura yelled out.

“You two have fucking 5 seconds to get dressed or this time I’m not missing purposefully.” Nobume said from above the covers. 

“What?!” Shinsuke said.

“5.” She said.

“But how are we suppose to put on our clothes with the sword stuck in the covers above us and you guys watchin-“ Katsura called out.

“4.”

“HEY, give us the space to do so then, dammit.” Shinsuke called out. 

“3.”

“Oh god, we’re gonna die like this. A sword trapping us in the covers and your sword in the covers trapped inside m- I mean haha.” Katsura said worrisome. 

“Don’t worry Honey-chan. I won’t let that mean gluttonous blue haired girl touch a single strand of your silky salon washed hair.” Takasugi rubbed his husband’s face softly. He had no time to play his overdramatically romantic Sakura Kiss song though. 

“2.” 

“Y-you mean it?” Katsura blushed.

“Oh I very, VERY mean it.” Takasugi began to hug him tighter than they were already and kissed his shoulders slowly. This caused Katsura to get ticklish and laugh again. 

“1.” She stabbed the covers once again. But this time it hit with no sound as if it was pierced by something much softer than skin. She lifted up the sword from the teared up hole to see what was on the end of it.

“Come on Nobume, we’ll have to pay for these hotel sheets now.” Isaburo said now sitting up in bed and yawning. 

“MY PON DE RINGS?!?!!” She yelled out crazily, ripped open the covers, ripped them apart (I’ll let you visualize that) and grabbed them by their buck naked heads. Isaburo frantically stood up and covered her eyes, for her safety against these very apparent senseis.

“HEY HEY! MY ANTENNAS!” Katsura called out.

She hoisted them over her head like an Olympian Elite disc thrower and threw them out the closed glass window, it shattered.

“WE’RE FALLING AGAIN TO OUR DEATHS! THIS IS LIKE THE THIRD TIME THIS MONTH!!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!”  They shouted and landed with a loud thud in the parking lot on a OIING random civilian. A Vice-Chief perhaps looking for their disappearance of his terrorist prisoners and his fellow cops.

“I told you we should have rotated cuddle night to tonight, Shinny.” Katsura said. The random civilian was now in a puddle of his own blood beneath the naked two.

“Great, now we’re gonna have to get pay for that mess in their bed and the window for sure.” Isaburo sighed out, looking at them down below. He still had his hand over Nobume’s eyes. “I’m sorry you had to see something like the birds and the bees or rather, the butterflies and the bees for the first time. You are too young and it was my fault. But that text message to Mr. Piece of Pizza Ceaser’s was important.”

“See? All I saw was their blood from my fists.... and my sugar high.” Isaburo looked over at their bed and saw five new empty boxes of doughnuts.

”Now Nobume, I told you only a dozen affer midnight.” He shook his finger.

TBC

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Sakamoto stretched his arms out and let out a good yawn.  The sun was hitting their room, as it faced East.  Nearly 6 am, a perfect time to get up, get ready, and grab breakfast.  He looked to his right and saw Gintoki sprawled out on his side of the bed and Skele sleeping soundly on his pull out couch-bed.  Oboro wasn't anywhere to be seen in the room.  Tatasuma rubbed his eyes and reached for his glass of water but instead grabbed a (sticky) hand instead,

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  Sakamoto pulled out the gun from under his pillow and shot the (sticky) hand.

"YO WHAT THE FUCK DOG YOU JUST BLEW MY HAND TO BITS!"  No Man and Kamui slid out from underneath Gintoki and Sakamoto's bed.  The other two Joui members got startled and woke up themselves, hiding under the covers thinking this was one of those famous hotel drive-bys.

"TATSUMA I'VE BEEN HIT!"  Gintoki yelled, unable to hear from the ringing in his ears.

"Way to go Halfy!  Now you're down to half the number of hands you can use to play with yourself!"  Kamui said laughing.

"THIS AIN'T FUNNY CHIEF, I'M BLEEDIN!"  No Man said, his hand pouring buckets of blood on the carpet.

"Hey, at least you scared him like you said we would!"  Kamui said.

"You said that DOG!"  No Man said, trying to take a swing with his mutilated hand, only to have Kamui crunch it, making it bleed more.

"Totally wasn't my idea Samurai Gintoki, it was this half man here!"  Kamui said, whistling as he was turning out of the room.

"GET BACK HERE, YOU'RE PAYIN FOR THIS ONE DOG!"  No Man yelled chasing the red-head out.

"Am I dreaming...did a midget just appear under your guy's bed?"  Skele asked.

"You've got a lot to learn friend."  Gintoki said, rubbing his eyes.

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"Chief?  Why are you running?"  Abuto was standing at the door of their hotel room, having actually gotten a full nights sleep. His tired old man face was now beautiful and full of vibrant colors.

"Oh you know, uh, young looking old man!"  Kamui said running.  No Man quickly followed, a blood trail in his wake,

310?cb=20170307120109 "I'm not getting involved."  he said to himself, heading to breakfast.  He walked past the hotel entrance and glanced outside to see a few police lights,

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"Did you hear yelling Zura?"  Takasugi asked, holding his now even more bandaged head.  He was sitting on the curb with Katsura, both men covered in bandages.

"Zura janai, Katsura da.  Sounded like that Half Amanto, he's always yelling about something."  Katsura said, holding an icepack on his ribs.  Both men were clothed (thankfully).  They looked as an ambulance carried off the man they crushed, it seemed he was going to be ok, but his legs looked really bad.

"Katsura, Shinsuke, what did we say about landing on civilians.  It just makes you look even more like terrorists."  Isaburo and Nobume walked outside of the hotel and struck a pose,

"I got Snoop's verses."  Nobume said, eating a morning pon de ring.  Isaburo snapped his fingers, as he knew he was stuck with Dre this time.

"West Coast eh?  That's pretty lame to be honest, wouldn't you say Sho-chan?"

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"Shinsen...hmph, what do you think you're doing in this story?"  Isaburo asked, texting.

"I'll give you three seconds to put that phone down.  1,"  Matsudaira fired a shot, shattering the phone.  Isaburo looked down, not shocked.  "Me and Sho-chan are here to collect the man those terrorists crushed, Hijikata-san."  Pops said, lighting up a cigarette.

"H-HIJIKATA?!"  both terrorists said, now fearing for the worst that the Demon Vice Chief would extract revenge somehow.

"Why is the Shogun here anyway?"  Nobume asked.  Shigeshige adjusted his sunglasses, trying to look cool.  "He look really lame in all that garb out here with those knock-off brand shades."  These words hurt the Shogun, who let a tear come out of the shades.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT SHO-CHAN?!  I'LL KILL ALL YA!"  Pops pointed his gun at Nobume but misfired every time, her dodging on point.

"It's okay Matsudaira-san, my feelings aren't that hurt.  I just have to enjoy the little things you know?"  the Shogun said.  He removed his shades, revealing black marks outlining the glasses on his face.  Pops face palmed.  The Shogun walked over to Katsura and Shinsuke sitting there,

"Like these gentleman here, they are free as a bird, being naked and getting tossed out windows.  That's a simple life I'd like to live one day."  Shogun said with confidence,

"That's not really a life to live Sho-chan."  Matsudaira said.

"What do you say men?  Why not jump again?"  Shogun asked,

"No thanks, I already died 4 times this month, plus the Shinsen want our heads.  I'm not up for that kind of stress right now."  Shinsuke said.  Shigeshige nodded,

"I see, then I guess someone will have to do it."  The Shogun ripped off his royal clothes, and stripped all the way down to his whitey tighties.

"SHO-CHANNNN!"  Pops started to run towards the Shogun, but it was too late, he ran into the hotel.

'I've gotta look cool for that Elite girl, she totally dissed me and I have to make up for that.'  The Shogun thought, running full tilt to the roof.

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"Wa...was that the Shogun that just ran by?"  Oboro asked Sensei.  The two and Poe were sitting at breakfast and witnessed the briefed man run by, shortly followed by Pops.

"Sure seemed like it!"  Sensei said, stuffing his mouth full of pancakes.  Gintoki walked into the breakfast area and yawned,

"Sensei, when are we going driving next?"  Gintoki asked, picking his nose.

"In a few hours once everyone's eaten breakfast."  Sensei responded, smiling.  Sakamoto and Skele entered shortly, followed by Abuto.  "Good, now I just need those two Yato and my car ride is complete!"  Sensei said.

"Yeah, they're still going at.  I didn't bother with them."  Abuto said, drinking some diet coffee.  He spat it out, thankfully.  The breakfast room fell silent as they heard a scream from outside, followed by a loud SPLAT.

"SHO-CHAAANNNNN!"  Everyone rushed outside to see the Shogun completely incapacitated, bleeding on the ground.  Kamui and No Man also ended up outside, finally running out of breath.  Everyone stared at the body, then finally,

"SHOGUN KA YOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  They all yelled and rushed to their respective vehicles to book it out of there.

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"Look!  4 days until we reach Chipotle....by car."  Takasugi said, pointing out the window.

"Yes and it's a miracle you haven't rented that backseat for some of your dojo challenging."  Isaburo said.

"After last night...well...."  Katsura said, but he felt a pair of glowing, dark red eyes piercing his heart from the front seat.  He quivered in fear.

"Y-yeah you're right.  We probably will be doing that on our own time...hehe."  Takasugi said, but that "hehe" was enough for Nobume to draw her sword and slice the extra bandages off his face.

"And if you know what's good for you, you'll move that Cranola away from my rings."  Nobume said, sheathing her blade.  The two embraced each other, scared, very scared.

---------------------------------------------------------

"I still don't trust those Yato back there, giving me the scares like that."  Sakamoto said, looking back at Kamui and No Man who were passed out.

"They didn't sleep once last night, I'm not surprised honestly.  Chief has always been a car baby.  If you don't catch him, he might even fall asleep at the wheel of our ship."  Abuto said, chuckling at the expensive of Chief.  Kamui extended his hand and strangled Abuto, somehow he knew he was getting made fun of in his sleep, eventually letting go and snuggling back into a comfy position.

"Speaking of untrustworthy, Mister "Throwing me down an elevator shaft" sitting behind me scares the ever living daylights out of me."  Oboro added, Poe nodding in agreement.

"It's not my fault you were making lewd comments to Sen-"  Skele and Sakamoto covered Gin's mouth before the words spilled out,

"Sen-who?"  Sensei asked in the rear-view mirror with a smile.

"Sen...Sensuke!  Shinsuke!  Just misspoke haha, silly old Gintoki."  Gintoki said, trying to play it off.  Sensei was trying to read him, but accepted it.

"I didn't know you liked Shinsuke, Obo!  Don't tell Katsura though, he's really tough I'll tell ya."  Sensei said laughing.  Oboro and Poe gulped, but they both looked back and shot daggers into Gintoki's heart.  He was frightened of this jizzy man and his blackbird.

"Ha!  Don't Mami haha!"  Everyone stopped and looked at Kamui who was sleep-talking.

vlYiYza.png  Abuto pulled out an audio recorder,

"Imouto, ha!  Mami...Papi..."  Kamui peacefully dreaming, while in the waking world his worst nightmare was about to come.

"This is going over the intercom somewhere, the timing has to be right though."  Abuto said, chuckling menacingly.  Suddenly the car stopped when everyone wasn't paying attention,

"Yeah I'd like uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"  Sensei held the "uh" for awhile.  The passengers noticed they were at WcDonalds.

"Oh, could I get something Sensei?  I got my own money!"  Skele said, but the Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh was still going.

"ONE COFFEE....BLACK.  That'll be it."  Sensei said.

"That'll be 1.03, pull around to the second window."  Sensei pulled ahead and waited.

"I really wanted some food..."  Oboro and Poe frowned.

"I really wanted coffee, and oh!  Look who's driving."  Sensei said.  The worker handed him a coffee, and in turn Sensei paid.  Sensei peeled out of there to stay near the Elite Squad Car.

"Come on Sensei..."  Oboro said, beginning to shake him.  Sensei looked annoyed and jerked his arm away, but that caused the coffee to spill in his lap,

"I DIDN'T MEAN IT!"  Oboro yelled, hiding, Poe flew to the back of the car.  Sensei pulled over to the side of the road,

"It's no big deal Oboro, it's just a little spill."  Sensei disrobed and tossed it into the trunk, Sensei was now in shorts and shirtless.

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"Poe...this is the single greatest day of my life."  Sensei looked over at Oboro before starting the car and smiled.  He clocked Oboro right in the jaw, knocking him out instantly.  Poe flew back to the back of the car and hid behind Abuto.

TBC

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"I can't take this anymore. I need some fresh air." Takasugi sat up from laying his face on the table and He dragged unshaven self across the restaurant. 

"Hahaha! Shoyo-chan, look at the old midget man. He's a wallowing mess." Kagura laughed and so did the princess.

"MEANWHILE WHERE'S YOUR DAMN BIG BROTHER? WACKIN' AWAY AT HIMSELF?" Takasugi yelled at Shoyo, causing several Shinsen members to put up their swords to his neck and he gulped. "I think I'm just gonna go outside then." He dashed to the patio outside the restaurant. He breathed in the soft warm air and looked at the nature. He then turned his head. There she was.

"Honey..." The aching of his heart grew even more so, his heart pounding. This was it, he had to make a move or things could get worse.

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"Katsura..?" He walked up behind her.

"Katsura is not talking to you right now." She held her steaming cup of joe and switched her nylon leg she was crossing over the other.

"Can I talk to Zurako then?" He sat backwards in the chair across from her and she sighed.

"I guess." She said.

"That's a cute beach robe, hahaha." He rubbed the back of his head playfully.

"What do you want Takasugi." She set her cup of coffee on the table.

"Last name basis, ouch." Shinsuke said. "Well Mrs. Takasugi, I want to apologize for the way I acted earlier to Katsura."

"Are you sure of it? Because Katsura seemed pretty annoyed at you earlier." She crossed her arms.

“Honey.” He pulled his chair next to her and held both of his husband’s hands. Zurako looked back with innocent shocked eyes. “Honey, you and Sensei are the reasons I even left that life of crime behind me. I-I know these past few months have been completely different for us all, all our friends and everyone but there’s no way in hell I’m gonna lose you again. Even just after a stupid fight.” He started tearing up a little but she wiped off his tears and looked at him lovingly with tears herself. Her husband rubbed away hers.

"Shinsuke... I'm so sorry. I was too friendly to that man." Zurako hugged him, a sense of relief that blanketed over Shinsuke. “But I need to tell you something about our Sensei.” She said in a soft voice.

“Sure, sure go ahead darling.” He kissed her hand all the way up to her shoulder. Shinsuke looked up in hopes of seeing that beautiful sweet lipstick smile again but instead saw someone behind her.

“Shinsuke, I need your help to kill the man who killed you and your husband and that White Demon."

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“AAAAHHHH!” Shinsuke yelled out but suddenly Sensei disappeared, leaving only his laughing audible before fading away.

"Dammit Utsuro. Where did he go now. I've been tracking him for several hours now." Zurako took off her head to reveal to be another man.

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"Don't ask why I'm wearing lipstick under my mask." The god added.

"AAAH! EVEN WORSE! AND YOU'RE THE BASTARD WHO PUT ME AND BANSAI IN HELL!" Takasugi fell down in his chair to the floor and backed away quickly. 

"Shinsuke, now settle down dude. I need to tell you something. You need to put an end to your Sen-" Billy noticed the scenery around him getting all fuzzy. "Oh he's waking up. That's perfect." Billy rolled his eyes and took a sip of his coffee on the table. "Can't contact those damn bastard brothers of mine and can't talk to any of these mortals without them flipping out. And now I got damn throat sucker slobber all over me." He wiped it off with a restaurant napkin.

February 16th 2:12 PM

6 days left


"AAAAH!" Yelling Takasugi woke up in puddle of sweat, knocking over his orange juice on his hotel restaurant table. Everyone was now looking at his five-o’clock shadowed mess of a man self. He then felt a bazooka and an Elite sword at the back of his head.


“I SAID AAAHH NOT EEEE! WHY ARE YOU ALL STILL HERE ANYWAYS? IT'S LUNCH TIME!” He yelled at the cop sadists while running out of there. He dusted himself off. Matako tried to run up to him but stopped at the entrance.

“SHINSUKE-SAMA WAIT! I HEARD YOUR SEPERATED NOW! BUT YOUR MATAKO IS HERE FOR Y-“ Matako was met with a head chop by Elizabeth and her knocked out body dragged back into the restaurant by the duck. 

“To think, four months ago as a full on extreme terrorist I would have toasted their Bakfufu asses and here I’m having my ass handed over by them. HEH!” Takasugi gave a sour expression and lit his pipe, taking a loud puff. He then wiped his hands down his scruffy, unshaved face.

He was a mess. That dream with his honey made him feel a million times worse. His heart didn’t even feel like it was there anymore. He was either aching or confused now. The terrorist started walking on the beach but memories of that dream came oozing back in like black tar. Unsettling and uncomfortable. 

“Oi, toasted our Bakufu asses? Do you want to go back in that direction then?” A man was laying up against the wall of the hotel’s resturant front, exhaling a cigarette of his own.

At this voice Takasugi felt like drawing his sword, but shrugged it off. It was a pathenic one even if it was powerful anyways.

“I never said I wanted to.” Takasugi stopped walking and took another puff. “Do you think a uncontrolled beast like me wouldn’t already go back to that blood stained life if I wanted to, Demon Vice Chief?” He turned his head, smirking at him. 

“I don’t know, it seems some people have already taken control of that beast.” Hijikata said.

Thoughts of Shinsuke’s Joui friends begun flooding his head. And then Sensei. Takasugi’s compass of right and wrong, his driving point to actions. The reason why he even considered associating with his old friends again and becoming more of a good man. Besides Katsura, Katsura, where even was he? He thought. But the last two dreams Shinsuke had lately have left him in uncomfortable confusion. Katsura. Sensei. Katsura. Sensei. It kept switching between them. And the felt unsettling real, he was almost convinced they were real at this point. But that last message Sensei asked of him in the dream before he just woke up and then there was that god.. it was all out paranormal even.

“So what ‘Vice-Chief’ are you gonna put me in cuffs?” He said breaking his train of thought and chuckled. But Hijikata didn’t break his glare, looking at the eafternoon ocean.

“Tell me Shinsuke, as a curious man, why did you retire of that extreme life? Odd enough that even my men are still trying to fully understand.” 

“I think you actually very know the answer to that question. It’s like you said. I’ve got some bastard of friends looking out for me.” Shinsuke kept walking, a slight smile on his face. “That stupid White Demon especially. You demons are all the same though, you care too much about wild beasts.” 

“Who said I cared anything about you Joui? Or even wanting to associate with that other Joui runt of a demon?” Hijikata left out another puff.

“I think you might if you’ve been having the dreams I have lately.” Shinsuke remarked. Suddenly a man came limping up to them nearby, wearing a feathered coat.

“S-STEVE!” Hjiikata ran to him when he saw him injuried, Shinsuke walking close by. He collasped into both their arms.

“What happened?” Concerned Shinsuke asked, examining his leg wound. 

“Oh good. The two most important people to me besides my brother are here.” Steve gave a little smile but they could tell he was very sorrowful along with other emotions. 

“Steve.. who did this to you?” Hijikata spoke very seriously. He looked at the feather coat. “Don’t tell me...”

“Sensei?!” Takasugi drew his head back. “Why would he hurt you of all people, Steve? We’ve all known each other for so long.”

“I’ll explain everything, Toshi, Shinsuke. But first I have to ask you both something.”

“Anything!” Hijikata begged.

“Go right head.” Shinsuke nodded.

“This is probably the first time I’ve ever seen just the three of us together.” Steve smiled. “How’d you two get so close?” 

Zoom out to the terrorist and the cop touching shoulder to shoulder while holding up Steve from the sand. They looked at each other.

“OI. BACK OFF CELL 12.” Hijikata barked out, moving away rapidly.

“I can say the same thing to you, mayo fucker.” Takasugi brushed off the shoulder that had grazed the Shinsengumi uniform.

“Did you just hear that Steve? How are you even friends with Japan’s most wanted imbecile?” Hijikata pointed to smirking Shinsuke. 

“How is Steve best friends with a poorly crafted cigarette smoking, v-bang shaped oaf is the better question.” Shinsuke took a puff out himself. 

“These poorly made cigarettes will be shoved up your splittered wood pipe ass!” Hijikata said getting pissed off now.

“Interested in my wood and my ass? How unfitting for an upright authority figure for this country. Shinsuke added.

“Always someone like you taking basic phrases and making them out to be dirty. A reflection of your life perhaps.” The Vice Chief exhaled his cigarette angrily. “And can’t be interested in something that no one can see, shorty. As we would all know from your disgusting cell back at the station, you homocidal maniac.” He had lost it.

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Steve couldn’t help but laugh out now as the two were now angrily having a “who can smoke the most” contest, their tempers getting the best of their judgement. 

“OI YOUR JUST LIKE THAT OTHER ANNOYING JOUI BASTARD.” Hijikata said exhaling five cigars at a time.

”LIKE HELL I’M LIKE THAT SILVER HAIRED BASTARD!” Shinsuke inhaled 7 pipes at a time, almost giving into his homocidal tendencies. 

“Why is Hijikata-san and a terrorist playing games? I-I’ve never heard of such an alliance.” Isaburo stated in fake disbelief.

”Come on man, no one even asked us about it. Don’t ham it up please.” Nobume whispered, leaning in.

Him, the gorilla and cop sadists duo were watching the three from the resturant’s porch now.

“Oi, should we put an end to all this charade, Kondo-san?” Sougo said, slinging his bazooka over his shoulder.

“Nah, it’s alright. Let’s just go back to work.” Kondo gave an evil smile as the two walked back in the restaurant but.

“Where do you think you two are going?” Nobume had her sword at their backs.

“I was just gonna visit Fake Otae-san and Otae- I mean do some files.” Kondo fake laughed.

“Dammit Kondo-san.” Sougo said and pulled out a purple antenna and inhaled it happily.

“OI! Did he lend you that or you pull that thing out of your prince boyfriend, Sougo?!” Kondo said distressed.

“Oh I hope Shinsuke doesn’t smoke too much, Nobume.  We’d have to reschedule our skydiving while cupcake making lessons course with him and Katsura if he comes down with something.” Isaburo said looking up at the trio at the beach but still texting away with his thumb. Kondo and Sougo looked alarmed to hear this.

“Class dismissed.” She flashed her memory forgetter neutralzer in the Shinsen’s faces and the two Elites ran off all goofy to their own personal standby hangout. 

“Isaburo, are we going back to the roadtrip story then since our work here is done?” Nobume asked her partner in crime.

”Shh, you were not suppose to break that level 4th wall, Nobume.” He said as they were still sprinting. But it went on for several more minutes.

“Why didn’t our plot end end yet? We already got out all our one-liners about elites and donuts.” She said blank face.

But then they saw someone on the docks of the beach. He was holding a script and about to leave with another WHATing gentlemen. 

“Oboro.” Nobume audibly screeched her feet like a car, leaving a trail of dirt and visible shoe mini moats. Isaburo followed closed at hand, doing the same thing. 

”Nobume you know what this means...” Isaburo stared at the illuminating white haired man, powerful enough to throw down over an entire government singlehandedly.

“OUR OWN SUBPLOT, FINALLY!” They both cheered. 

“SHIIIT DOG AHAHAHA!” Nobume said and then gave each other the most detailed and intricate cool handshake known to man, unable to even be videotapped by a mere mortal alone but this writer managed to quickly snap a picture of it.

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“Oh jesus..” Oboro said silently. Poe made a sour face at the Elites while sitting on his master’s shoulder.

”Who are those funny firefighters in white suits?” Raj asked his fellow actor. “AND WHY DO THEY GET THEIR OWN SUBPLOT?! RAJ HAS BEEN HERE SINCE 2.0 AND HE HAS GOT SQUAT SHIT!!!!”

————

February 16th 3:45 PM

6 days left

“There is is Nobume, right above! The breaker line and timestamp that separates each subplot from the other. I only dreamed of seeing one just for us-“ Isaburo was pecked on the head by Poe. 

“Mukuro. What do you two want?” Oboro asked, looking up from his script. Poe landed back on his shoulder.

“Is that..” Isaburo had Nobume puff on his monocle and then he wiped it off. The two cops then held their mouths to not break out hysterically. 

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“If you two laugh, I’ll make sure it’s your last.” Oboro said, holding pressure needles in his hand now. Poe had some in his claws as well.

“Woah just take it easy man.” Isaburo said giving his best Drake Bell impression. “Since when are you a serious character again?”

Oboro and Poe begun tearing up and bit their lips. They looked away from the gang. 

“My whole presence in this universe is nothing more than a joke, isn’t it?” He asked.

"Is that a trick question." Nobume asked blank face.

”Are we really missing out on the Wheel for this?” Isaburo leaned into his partner, whispering.

“No matter. I knew Sensei didn’t need me or services anyway.” With his back still turned to them, he opened up one of the balls on his necklace and it had a even smaller necklace and picture inside of it.

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“Yes, he didn’t need me.... Him that luxious light golden locks of his... those crafted by Zeus abs... or that tight posterior I've been blessed with seeing.. in my dreams...

”Maybe it’s still not too late to catch Wheel.” Isaburo said, the sick looking Elites tried to tiptoe away but a loud man got right in their faces.

“HEY! DON’T WALK AWAY FROM MY FRIEND!” Raj forced.

”Raj....” Oboro turned his head over his shoulder, slight smile on his face.

“I meant the chicken. He gets me in ways I couldn’t begin to describe.” Raj pointed to Poe who gave him a dirty look back.

”Actually Oboro, your Sensei has been acting quite odd lately.” Isaburo was texting away now. “Hiding people in his buildings for endless days, being secretive when asked about anything."

“It’s all apart of his plan.” Oboro smirked. “His domination on this comic book world of ours will be soon here.”

“So you do know his plan?” Nobume asked. Oboro and Poe looked shocked but rubbed their hair back, playing it cool.

”Course I do, me and Sensei. We tight.” He and Poe pounded their chests. 

“So tight that you’re aparting ways to go star in some show right now?” Isaburo said not looking up from intense texting. 

“Errr uh..” Oboro wanted to look cool, no he NEEDED to. Poe then flew off his shoulder and onto Isaburo’s, who flinched a little. Poe motioned with his claw for Oboro to come forward

“Hey who are you texting anyway?” Oboro asked. 

“I’m just looking at the secret cam I placed on a secret person in mind.” Isaburo said showing it to everyone else. 

“NO WAY! THIS THING VIEWS SENSEI’S PRIVATE BEDROOM?!” Oboro’s face got red and he made weird steamy panting. The other three and even his bird looked at him odd. “Y-you know, useful in case for facetiming for errand and other duty needs.” 

Sensei could be seen in his bedroom now, dusting off a mysterious white powder from his hands. The camera was angled from the ceiling.

“Isaburo, who did you place this camera on? Who’s viewing his bedroom right now?” Nobume asked.

“Let’s just say I was working on a secret mission with them in order to rat things out once and for all, Nobume.” He zoomed in on random areas of the room.

”FLIP PHONE IN 2018? AHAHA! You crack me up firefighter man!” Raj uproared, causing Isaburo to frown and shed a single tear.

———

February 16th 8:43 PM

6 days left

“Dat oughta do it!” Kamui wiped off his hands at the work he didn’t even touch. The ship was made of palm trees but it collapsed all on 4th. 

“God dammit, we’re gonna miss the climax of this arc at this rate.” Abuto put his hand on his forehead. 

Kamui looked at Gintoki from the distance, staring into the ocean. “Abuto, take over things here for now.”

“What’s there to take over? The whole damn ship fell apart.. again.” The ossan scoffed. 

“Samurai, are you alright?” Kamui asked.

“The sooner we get off this damn island, the better.” Gintoki didn’t break his stare. He held the remaining fragments of the flower that cured their love sickness.

“Wow, this is quite unlike you Samurai.” Chief then looked around and leaned back on his shoes. “You usually don’t get all emo like purple midget! Ha!” He was still staring. Kamui didn’t realize it but he put his hand on Gintoki’s shoulder. “Hey, I’ll be alright. Whatever you need to do, I’ll make my bastard of a crew help you out!” He gave a thumbs up. Gintoki returned it with a very slight smile.

“Once a prince, always a prince”. Gintoki joked.

“Are you hitting on me again? Neither of us are into dudes you kook! HA!” Kamui laughed and mighty slapped him on the back, causing him to fall on the sandy floor.

“Uh dog...” No Man walked up to Abuto and pointed a (sticky) figure to the sky. 

“JET!” Several of the yato men said. Gintoki and Kamui looked up themselves at the Lilymu aircraft.

“Oi, did that Old Man seriously plaster that Jizz head on his merchandise already?” Gintoki picked his nose, looking at the jet with Oboro on it.

“We could have taken my own private jet you know, Ozu.” Gendo said from inside of it. The jet slowly landed to the deserted island.

“That dinky little thing? I’m suprised your quote on quote big NERV company gave you such a dinky hunk of junk, Hasegawa.” Ozu took a sip of his imported tea.

“I’m suprised the original main character of this fanfiction has barely been in this arc and never in the spotlight!” Gendo retorted back. Ozu started to flame up, causing his tea to boil.

“Settle down, you rich bastards.” Umibozu said in a calm tone and used a fire extinguisher to cool off Ozu. 

“BALDY BASTARD?!” Kamui said once the doors to the jet opened up. “NOPE! NOT going in.” He smiled but Abuto picked him up and walked inside of it.

“Odd Jobs.” Ozu stood at the edge of the jet with the other two dads and crossed his arms.

“What gives you the right-“ Umibozu crossed his arms too.

“-to abandon us for some crazy war veterans?” Gendo finished off the statement. 

“DADS!” He ran up to them and gave them a BIG BEAR HUG. “Oh how I missed those old men smells.” He squeezed the three tight as they all punched him in the head. He, Umibozu and Ozu then all looked at Gendo.

“HASEGAWAAAAA!” They shouted and cried.

“Fuckin’ geez.” Gendo said annoyed.

“Hasegawa, d-does this mean you’re an official dad?” Gintoki asked. “Does it mean I get to print out some Dad Quad shirts?”

“Er uh...” Gendo started to sweat but decided to play it cool. “I mean, I guess. Since you all beg for me so badly Pfft whatever.” They hugged him tighter now, causing him to lose oxygen. “Fuckin’ geez.”

"Wait, what is that in your hand?" Umibozu looked at the black flower Gintoki was holding.

"Oh that's just the cure for that damn love flow-" The other dads took this away from him now to make money- ahem cure the others infected in Okiwana from it.

“Damn, this is nicer than you other jet Old Dog joyride-“ Ozu was now menacingly staring at No Man. “I mean, gazed at... Ozu..dog.” The green yato sweatdropped.

“How did you three find us anyways?” Abuto said as the rest of the yato pirate crew entered and the ship took off. The crew looked around the fanciness and expensiveness of it. Some of them pocketing some of Ozu’s priceless posessions. 

“Did you have me FUCKING CHIPPED?” Kamui asked at Umibozu. He punched poor Abuto in the head enough that he finally let him down.

“Actually Chief, I finally got a signal on my phone and called your pa-“ Abuto sweated at smiling Kamui. “-your friend Bun Head, who called old man Ozu over here.” He tried to smile.

"Ha! Bun Head. Good times." Kamui smiled and shook his head.

“Heavens no, I didn’t chip you idiot son.” Umibozu leaned into Abuto and whispered. “Kouka was the one who had him chipped.”

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?!?!?!!” Kamui was held back by several of his officers, but it was of little use. He broke free and launched at his papi I mean baldy bastard opponent.

“I guess we’ll never figure out who sabatoged the ship.” 4th looked out a window with Ham-san next to him. 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Kamui stopped his running at his old man and screeched to them. “That damn 5th did it!”

“What? Me Chief? Why do you say that?” Ham-san said surprised. 

“I mean introduction to a new character at the same time this all happened, dogs.” No Man casually walked up and took a plastic grape from the decore on the table, thinking it was real. He started to choke but no one paid attention.

“Ham-chan I mean Ham-san has worked with us for years!” 4th defended.

“Why didn’t we know your boyfriend was back on the ship until AFTER this shit of a disaster happened, 4TH?” Kamui smiled but 4th was sweating buckets now.

Lowest rank and part-time ship’s chef Jeremy came up and gave No Man the Heimlich.

“Thanks Jimmy.” Worn out No Man gave a thumbs up. 

“It’s Jeremy.. Anyway, here’s your food you requested, Officers 4th and 5th.” He bowed to his superiors and walked away. 

“If I may give some insight of what I think happened, Chief.” No Man requested.

“No.” Kamui smiled but No Man whispered into his ear anyway. “HahahahaHAHAHHAAHAHA!” Kamui broke out hysterical, other people on the ship looking at him. He then pointed to them. “YOU TWO are not allowed to do that on the ship!” He playfully slapped both of their heads but mostly 4th’s. He turned back to his 3rd officer (who frantically put back his magazine in his sticky pocket.) “Well that was anti-climactic.”

“Yeah dog and here I thought we would solve it like some muthafuckin’ big murder mystery.” No Man said and didn’t look down to see he sat on poor sleeping Abuto. The mullet man started to have nightmares for some reason. 

“This tastes kinda different, don’t you think Ham-cha-“ 4th’s head collasped on the table. Causing Ham-san to gasp and several members went up to his aid.

“What happened?” Ozu asked looking at the even greener than No Man yato.

“Chief, do you think it was Jimmy-“ No Man saw his captain running to find the man.

“Of course! He’s a baldy! They’re ALWAYS guilty, ISN’T THAT RIGHT MR. CHIPPED ME MAN!?” Kamui smiled and yelled.

“Technically, your Mami had you chipped you little ace brat.” Umibozu said, some of the redhead’s crew mates started to chuckle silently even though they usually feared their teenage captain tremendously. 

“I DON'T KNOW WHAT ACE MEANS AND THAT MAKES ME FURIOUS!" Smiling Kamui got out the fire extinguisher and started to spray everyone in the twenty feet radius with it, including poor still sleeping Abuto who got even more nightmares.

“Chief! We need to worry about 4th! Chief!” Ham-san waved to him frantically. 

“I’ve seen that idiot brother get like this before.” Gintoki walked over and placed a hand on Ham-san’s shoulder. “Oi reddy, your boyfriend's a dead-" He looked at the yato. "H-H-HAM-SAN?! Gintoki cried and hugged him. Ham-san sighed but petted his head.

———-

February 16th 9:20 PM

6 days left

"So Steve, what's wrong with Sensei? ....Steve?" Takasugi asked, the gang had been walking most of the day as Steve found it hard to put it in words to Shinsuke especially.

"You mean you haven't felt any weird vibes with him at all?" Steve suddenly asked the terrorist, surprising him.

"Of course I have. I mean... I can't believe I just said that." Shinsuke head his hung low as the men were walking, who knows to where and for how long.

"It's okay Shinsuke." Steve placed a hand on his shoulder. "I know how close you are to him. Which is why I needed to let you know more than anyone."

Shinsuke squinted his eyes and saw a red fuzzball in the distance as they got closer.

”YOU!” Shinsuke yelled at the police officer. “You ruined my relationship WITH MY HUSBAND!”

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He handed Shinsuke a piece of paper.

-Sorriez. I just wanted his friendzhip again. :( - It read.

”YOU’LL BE ALOT MORE SORRY WHEN I’M DONE BOMBING YOUR-“

“Oi, take it easy Terrorist head or I’ll put you in cuffs like I should have done long ago.” Hijikata added. Saitou was so scared though that he ran to the nearest restroom. Revealing a man who had been standing behind him on guard.

"Your Sensei Yoshida Shouyou isn't the man he seems." 

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"Shogun!?" Hijikata said surprised. 

Takasugi tried to make a dash but Hijikata grabbed his arm in time.

"Relax Takasugi Shinsuke. I have no plans to arrest and/or execute you." Shogun said.

"For now." Hijikata said and Shinsuke gave him a dirty look back.

"Steve." Shogun looked at him and bowed to him on the floor respectfully. The purple and green hair men were in awe.

"OI, MAYO FUCKER..DID THE SHOGUN JUST BOW DOWN TO STEVE?" Takasugi asked. Hijikata smacked him across the shoulder. Unwise choice, Demon Vice Chief.

"Shigeshige, there's no need for that. I am but another Edo tourist." Steve smiled and offered his hand for the royal man to stand back up.

"SHIGESHIGE?" Hijikata said shocked.

"Shinsuke. Toshi. My Blues Clue's finding friends. I'm sorry it took me so long to meet you both together face to face." Steve placed his hands on their shoulders. 

"Don't worry about that. I see this man's face every night right above another man's face." Hijikata looked at the terrorist with a sour face.

"Yeah it's not a problem, Steve." Takasugi spat on Hijikata's shoes..

"Your Sensei. He... is from several different universes. He's rewritten them. He's watched several of us die before-" Shogun added,

"What are you talking about?" Shinsuke raised his eyebrow. Hijikata was confused too.

"He isn't the man he seems. He was originally apart of a universe where my brother Joe was a horrible man-slaughtering maniac. Shinsuke....  Toshi..." Steve said slowly.

 "Joe... he killed the both of you in that world. He even killed Kats-" Steve saw Shinsuke draw his blade.

"OI, what are you doing you terrorist?!" Hijikata called out.

"You're lying. I don't know why you're saying such slanderous things about my teacher. Steve when you've known him almost as long as even I have. Or even Joe for that matter." UWEDiav.png

"That's why I wanted to tell you myself, Shin." Steve started to tear up. "Because you're my favorite Blues Clues buddy besides Toshi and I use to care for him as almost much as you do. Maybe even the same amount." Takasugi lowered the sword and put it back. 

"I'm sorry for getting so hasty with you." Shinsuke said silently, Steve nodded in understanding.

 "Shouyou.." The detective sighed. "He told me every single detail. He even said he's known my parents in several different dimensions..." Steve started to tear up more, Hijikata went in for a little hug. 

"I'm confused as well, Steve. But I trust in your judgement. Plus there's that leg wound he supposedly gave you." Hijikata said looking into his eyes.

Shinsuke, I need your help to kill the man who killed you and your husband and that White Demon....

These words were at the back of Takasugi's mind. This almost real dream. And the dream he had the night before.

“Believe me or not....we are all leaving this comic world and burning it up with him the first chance we get.” Steve gravely said with his back turned.

"WHAT?!" The both of them said back.

"It's.. incredibly sorrowful for me as well when Steve told me all of this. Our country, our home. Where we were all born." Shogun started, placing his hands on Hijikata and Takasugi's (who flinched) shoulders. "But I trust your friend because he is the owner of our world and he spared my life."

"Spared?" Hijikata asked.

"I guess not buying that Shogun Assassination arc manga was a blessing in disguise." Steve made a little smile.

Takasugi almost burst into tears now. First the reveal about the most important figure in his life supposedly betraying him this entire time and now he could be leaving their world as he knows it?
——- 

Flashback

February 16th 12:45 PM

6 days left

“Did you enjoy what you saw earlier, my student?” Utsuro smiled. The student flung down to the floor from his hiding place. Ninja stars were in the back of him. The man tried to pull them out but couldn’t reach without severe pain.  Utsuro walked over to him and pulled them out himself. 

“Something I learned while observing those goofy ninjas who were with you and your husband earlier! Now why did you come to spy on me, Katsura?” 

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“You...laced Elizabeth’s cookies in posion...” Katsura said between heavy breaths. 

“Now why would I do that? She is very important to Exploding Feminism.” Utsuro smiled. Back injuried Katsura managed to hoist his elbows for support so he could see up.

“Really now, Katsura. Did you honestly think you could go and fool your own teacher by sneaking in here? You know what, I’m glad you saw what you did. You were the last student I still needed to reach.” Utsuro grabbed a cookie close to him and took a bite. “See? No posion. You seem to have been overreacting.” He chuckled a bit.

Katsura pulled out his katana and aimed at at the back of Utsuro’s head. He was now standing up, despite his critical bleeding. His teacher just had his hands behind his back casually, he didn’t even flinch a muscle from his student.

“GLAD I SAW WHAT I DID?” His sword was shaking a little but he standed his ground. “YOU KILLED YOUR STUDENT, SHOUYOU. IF THAT IS EVEN YOUR REAL NAME AT THIS POINT FROM WHAT I OVERHEARD.”

“You’re right Katsura. I did kill my student. And you’re also right, that isn’t my real name." He sighed. "I am still the sensei who raised you up as an orphan, but I have also outgrown this comic book story and rewrittened it for everyone’s benefit. Much like you and your husband have rewrittened it with being a married couple. Compared to your actual status as esstranged friends/enemies in the Gintama show.”

“You leave him alone. Shinsuke and the other students, YOUR students have done nothing wrong. So why did you visit them?” Katsura poked his head further with the blade. 

“To have them help me make this world a better place.” Utsuro replied.

“You can make this place a better world by LETTING IT BE THE WAY IT IS!”

“Katsura.” He turned his head to him, but the blade was still pointed. It shocked Katsura to see his teacher’s serious expression. “Can you even fathom how long it took for this world of yours, of mine, of ours to come about?” Katsura remained quiet, as he did not have the answer. 

“Your marriage with your husband, Shinsuke. Now that was a very, very important detail to me when recreating these universes. Your relationship was rare to come across in most of the universes I encountered. Some might say I did it in your behalf, finding one where you both were together still. How can any of you say I don’t care for you?” Utsuro asked.

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“Sensei.." Takasugi said with his back turned to him, looking at the uproars of fire. "I don't understand how you called me here. OR HOW YOU'RE EVEN ALIVE!" He turned to him in up most tears. "T-TELL ME...”

"Takasugi.. tell me this first. What do you think of Katsura?" 

"What does that have to do with you?!?!-"
"Please." Shouyou smiled.

"He's nothing more than a stray dog to me, like Gintoki." Takasugi said."N-now Sensei please explain-"

"Do you still remember No Man?" Shouyou sighed and asked again.

"Who?" Takasugi simply asked.

Utsuro thought fondly of that flashback from the second universe. But it also saddened him. He turned his attention back to his student.

“Can you really grasp your head around Joe killing you side by side next to your loving husband in your own puddles of blood and spilling out guts? You can’t even begin to think about how that must have looked like, I couldn’t want to begin to imagine, Katsura. But can you imagine it Katsura?”

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Katsura teared up, his face turning pink and the tears rolled down his cheeks as he bit his bottom lip.

“Now will you just let him get away with it? He killed far more than just you and Takasugi. Shinpachi, Hijikata, Hasegawa, the list sadly goes on my dear student. He also prevented any of the other comic worlds to our existence.” Utsuro added.

“Joe-dono killing us all or not... Joe isolating our own comic world...T-that wasn’t the Joe this Katsura knows presently...” Katsura spoke with a shaky voice.

“But making that single bad Joe pay for what he did was necessary you do agree on that.” Utsuro said and Katsura let out a sigh.

“For the sake of the crimes that he committed, I suppose so. But I do not know that full story whatsoever. All I know is that Joe got what he needed to from what I’m hearing and that MY Joe is innocent. And it is selfish for you and it’s selfish for me to hear you reset the universe for the sake of two of your students.” Katsura’s grip on the katana got tighter and shakier. “But not the true reason why you keep resetting things. You just wanted Joe especially and the rest of us to be your lap dogs.” His hand got even more shakier. 

“Shaking that hard? Now what’s the matter? Can’t kill your own teacher?” Katsura couldn’t see him smile from where he was standing but just knew he was. 

“I can kill... because I remember your own bushido before you abandoned it and murdered my one of my closest best friends. The honor the samurai being the most important thing, much more important than ones life. You’re not honorable to anyone or anything, whatever your name truly is.” 

“Utsuro.” He answered and smiled.

But then the smile disappeared by muscle relaxation. 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

 

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Katsura’s face grew dark as he lowered the sword and hung his head low for several seconds. But then he got on one knee and looked at the decapitated head of his once beloved father figure, resisting every urge inside himself to bawl out even moreso.  

“Sensei...” Katsura pulled out a secret tiny camera and audio recorder from his kimono shirt. The label read Mimawarigumi on it. “Well Isaburo-dono, I hope you got what you needed, if you’re there. “Wait...” He saw something shine from the pool of blood around the head. He picked up a metal object and placed it between his fingers to examine it. A bullet..?”

Katsura heard a rustle in the window.

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”Katsura, why did you do it? Why did you defend the man who killed you?” Joe said with and teary eyes.

“The kind man I’ve seen most of my life hanging out with my husband.... doesn’t have to take the blame for someone he has never met... You aren't him, Joe-dono.” Katsura said, with his back still towards them. "If Sensei was true about what happened in that other world compared to this one... with Sensei so-called protecting us against you.. things here are sure different. Aren't they Joe?"

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"Katsura..." Joe looked even more sorrowful. 

Katsura flinched and blinked his eyes, looking around the room frantically. The head and the body was gone, not a single drop of blood laid on the floor either. Joe and Wilford were confused too. Then they heard that chilling voice booming out through the bedroom.

“It won’t be that easy, to get rid of me, Takasugi Kotarou. I still have Sunday coming up. And it looks like this time Takasugi Shinsuke is possibly gonna be the only one who’s gonna come out of the 23rd Universe unharmed, if he obeys my orders."

"23 universes?” Joe gasped.T-that's way over 300 years worth of time though..If he spent at least fifteen years in each universe..." He couldn't even speak out anything but that.

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TBC

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RY3LZYo.png"Fuck the police." Nobume said putting on her shades and along with Isaburo, who gave her a loud high five.

"Say Nobume." Isaburo started. "I think I just pulled a Big Blue. Also, how did we wind up in here in the Mal-Wart jail? I thought we were the prime examples of cops." He was texting away.

"HEY NO PHONES ALLOWED IN JAIL!!" Raj yelled and grabbed his phone, breaking it in half. This caused Isaburo to shed a single tear and frown. Nobume looked over at her poor partner in crime and an anger flamed up inside of her. 

"YO! GET YOUR CHICKEN DINNER ASS ON THE FLOOR AND SHUT THE FUCK UP!" mKL1waa.png

Nobume ordered the YouTuber, pulling out a gun from no where. (In reality it was merely a twinkie that kinda was in the shape of one but the supercod didn't know that.)

"OKAY! OKAY!" Raj screamed out scared, putting his hands over his head.

"I WANT YOU TO BARK. BARK FOR ME." She yelled out, holding the dessert up to the bars.

"WHAT?" Raj 

Isaburo made a clicking sound on the side of his mouth. 

"HEY! OKAY OKAY J-JUST DONT SHOOT! THIS IS MY BEAUTIFUL FACE FOR DA INTERNET AUDIE-"

"DO IT!" She cracked her fist.

"BARK BARK BARK BARK!"

"NOW ACT LIKE ONE!"

"WHA-"

"Bang." Isaburo said. Raj ducked to the ground, fearing he might have been shot. "OH MAH GOODNED, I WASN'T SHOT!"

"Now try this again." Nobume said gravely.

"UH, UH.. I AM DE CANINE BARKING AWAY! ARF!" Raj licked himself and chased his imaginary tail.

"LICK YOURSELF HARDER!" 

"Nobume, you crack me up." Isaburo pressed on his thumbs like he was still texting away, but realized there was no phone there. It was like merely phantom limb for him. He sighed. "But how are we gonna get out of here? That funny looking man collapsed from your doggy orders and he has the key."

Zoom over to Raj, passed out and a fly out and in out of his open mouth.

"Or at least I think he's alive." Isaburo added and scratched his Elite chin.

"Hmmm.." Back to blank face Nobume examined the lock on their cell door. She pushed it open. "Oh hey, it was never locked Isaburo."

"Wonderful. Let's make our grand Eliteo escape." They made a goofy style run.

"Where to Isaburo?" She asked him.

"I don't know. I don't even know where we are." He looked down, there was nothing before them but an empty white room. "Hey author, you got anything in mind there?"

"Won't work Isaburo, we need a hostag- I mean translator to talk to them and figure out what's going on." She explained. Out of no where she pulled out a poor glasses boy who had no chance or business being in the story. 

"I heard that..." Shinpachi said plainly.

"YO WHAT THE FUCK IS GOIN' ON." Nobume put her twinkie gun to his head, Shinpachi welped.

"WAIT ISN'T THAT JUST A-" Shinpachi tried to speak out but she pushed the dessert deeper into his skull and it assploded it's white cream all over his face. "Ewwww."

She flung his oiing body across the white room, causing it to slam hard into the wall and a door emerged.

"Good thinking, Nobume." Isaburo said pretty bored. They ran for the bright light, entering the long awaited for and dragged out roadtrip arc. Shinpachi's body laid idle in the corner, but his plot armor had saved him (this time and this time only because the writer is feeling rather generous.)

-----------

2 Hours Ago

“Four more days until Chipotle!.... by car.” Gintoki proclaimed looking at the fuzzy cows in the fields as they drove. How did they get so fuzzy? Were they breeded that way perhaps? Genetic mutation? He just hope they didn’f get too close by a fire... Gintoki feared the haunting and soul stealing flames of that burning gas now. 

“Shinsuke! Shinsuke’s Husband! What are doing here?” Kamui said with a big smile on, looking at them sitting in the way back in Sensei's mom van.

“Shinsuke’s Husband janai, Katsura da, Leader’s Brother-dono.” Katsura replied seriously.

“Don’t call me that.” Kamui smiled back.

“Kamui, you text and voice messaged me thirty times in a row and to get our asses in this car.” Shinsuke said pulling out his phone but didn’t realize he still had the home page on display.

Spoiler

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“Oh FUCK.” He scrambled to get to the text message page before anyone saw it. 

“WELL so nice of you to FINALLY ANSWER ME BACK!” Kamui smiled with an angry vein. 

“Is this for real? Are we married or something Kamui that you have to be apart of everything I do?” Takasugi asked. Grinning Kamui cracked his knuckles. 

“NO! We are married Shinny Boo!” Katsura got in his face as Gintoki sat with fish eyes between them.

“Zura, I was saying it sarcasti-“

“Zura janai, Katsura da.” 

“Oi, everyone shut up already. It’s bad enough my eyeballs had to witness Shinsuke’s monstrosity of a phone wallpaper.” Gintoki got out some eye drops.

“Y-YOU SAW IT?!” Angry and embarrassed Shinsuke said too loud in the car, causing the car to swerve a little and smiling Sensei to clutch onto the wheel harder. Oboro and Poe made big gulps.

“What are you gonna do Shinsuke play us a lil’- lil’ uh lil’ 2000’s emo song on your banjo or somethin’? Doesn’t your Bansai tree have one of those already?” Gintoki said.

“What wallpaper Shinny Boo?” Katsura asked. Takasugi rubbed the back of his head and smiled at his husband.

“If you show one of us something dog, you have to show us all. Those are the rules of sharing por- I mean pictures.” No Man nodded.

“You’re right green guy, it was definitely por- alright.” Gintoki said crossing his arms. 

“Hey Samurai.” Kamui started.

“Yeah what?” Gintoki grumbled.

“The back of your head is bleeding! Haha!” Kamui pointed to Shinsuke’s sword in the perm head and Abuto shook his head. There was a brief silence now.

“Oh.. is it my turn for dialouge again dog?” No Man wondered. 

“No.” Chief smiled. 

Sensei turned his head with a menacing smile that intimidated everyone but Kamui. Takasugi bowed down in his seat humbly for his dad- I mean teacher. Sensei then turned back to the road.

“Now then boys.” He smiled and looked at Poe now in the open glove department in a blanket and sleeping. “And crow!” He chuckled. “I will be driving for three more hours non-stop, so please be considerate of the other person during this time.”

“Three hours stuck in here with everyone else” Shinsuke said quietly.

“I know right, three more hours with some barbaric yato.” Gintoki was kicked in the face by them but was spared his life somehow.

“I was talking about you...” Shinsuke stared at poor Gintoki who probably needed life support now.

“Oi, Zura. Make an excuse up so we can stretch our legs a while.” Gintoki nudged him with his bloody arm. 

“Oh um...” Katsura pondered this hard. “Sensei!”

“Yes Katsura?” The teacher smiled and looked at him in the back mirror.

“Er um, I need to stop at Mal-Wart to pick up.. uh.. BRAS!” The whole car fell silent.

“I KNEW IT! HE'S A WOMAN! No guy except me can have that luxurious of hair. Now pay up green shorty!” No Man sadly slapped Chief a 20 dollar bill and he sniffed it up like a fresh batch of cherry slurppage from the home turf. 

“Well I don't know why you all were looking at me like that, I need them. Zurako’s gotta do what Zurako’s gotta do.” Serious looking Katsura crossed his arms and nodded.

“Sure! I need to pick up some personal things for the car anyways. I say we all go there for a pitstop boys!” Sensei replied and the car members then cheered.
————

“Well, I think it was a good idea to throw those terrorists in the other car, Nobume. It’s rare we get the chance to entertain other people in our without them licking each other up.” Isaburo said while driving and she nodded, eating a triple glazed. 

"And it gives Katsura's hips a break." Nobume added. Isaburo looked upset that she even knew something like that. The both of them turned their heads to the rear. They had to remove the disgusting backseats from the previous several dojoing occasions but pimped out the new space.

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“Wow! This hot tub is great!” Skele smiled as his bone dry bones were soaking in the bubbles.

“Ahahaha! The martinis are a nice touch too!” Sakamoto took a sip of his.

“So uhm.. uh.... uh...” Isaburo scratched his temple.

“Skele.” He smiled.

“And I'm Kintoki! Just kidding! Haven’t you heard? I’m Sakamoto! Ahahahaha!” Isaburo and Nobume both cringed at this.

“Do you guys do anything uh interesting for work?” Isaburo spoke out awkwardly. He looked at Nobume who gave him the look.

“Yeah! You see I work in the Heroes Assoc-“

“I’m a goods trader! Ahahahaha!” Sakamoto interupted his boney friend.

“Cool. Cool.” Isaburo said. There was a long odd and awkward pause.

“So.. How does that treat you both?” Isaburo asked.

“Uh it’s cool.” Skele said, taking a sip of his alcohol.

“Just the usual deals.” Sakamoto shrugged.

“Oh... nice...” Isaburo said. Another long silence.

Nobume opened a new container of doughnuts to eat and Isaburo went in to take one as well.

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"......."


“Oh hey, Tatsuma. I got a text from Zura. He says they’re all stopping at Mal-Wart for a brief-“ 

“SORRY EMEGERCENY ELITE BUSINESS ONLY!” They said and then Skele and Sakamoto were thrown out the car and on the side of the street. The car made a screeching speed for it. 

“HEY!” Sakamoto said angrily, waving his arms at the car to come back.

“Well.. could be worse Tatsuma! I could have-“ Skele fell apart again. Sakamoto had to once again put him together and scrambled for pieces on the road so people wouldn’t run them over.
———---

"S-Sensei! We made it, Tatsuma!" Skele burst open the doors to the Mal-Wart. The two had two walk 5 miles just to make it there.

"There you guys are, what took you so damn long." Gintoki said rubbing his poor stomach that hasn't eaten in three days. Skele and Sakamoto met up with the other car group in the middle of the store.

"Skele! Tatsuma. We're all gonna pair up with someone." Sensei clapped his hands together in excitement.

"No way Shouyou, I want a main role in the arcs as much as the next guy but I draw the line at getting it because of Joui love or yato! Or in Skele's case, both! Ahahaa!"  Sakamoto laughed.

"What..?" Skele said confused.

"No Tatsuma you idiot, Sensei didn't mean that." Shinsuke rolled his eye.

"Why Sensei?" Katsura asked.

"So we can all leave in exactly an hour on the dot! It'll be easier if we each look out for the other." Sensei looked at his custom made Exploding Feminism watch point to exactly nine o'clock. "First people to be paired up...." Sensei spun around and his fingers landed randomly on two of them.

"Gintoki and No Man!" He smiled.

"Aight dog, fine with me." No Man shrugged.

"Wait.. this one's Abuto right..?" Gintoki whispered to Kamui, pointing to the green man.

"Honestly I'm terrible with names. So I'm gonna have to get back to you on that, Samurai." Kamui whispered back.

Suddenly the doors slammed open of the Mal-Wart, two cool dudes popped out.

"You!" Isaburo started.

"Two" Nobume added.

"Are coming with us!" They both said and smiled, pointing to the terrorists. A bright shining light was behind them.

"No." Shinsuke said plainly. The shining light disappeared, the cops put down their pointing fingers.

"We kinda already made plans just the two of us." Katsura added.

The two Elites were felt defeated.

"Oh come on Katsura, Shinsuke! I'm sure you two could mix it up and do something without each other-" Sensei softly pulled them apart physically.

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They collapsed in a puddle of blood.

"Oh my! Never mind." Sensei put them back together and the blood disappeared out of nowhere. They stand up like nothing had happened.

"What drama queens." Oboro rolled his eye and so did Poe. He accidentally bumped into Isaburo behind him causing the man to stumble away from Nobume.

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"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!" Oboro shouted.

"Ha! You should see Halfy without his tissues or Abuto without his man comb!" Kamui was punched on both arms but then punched them back with even greater force, sending them flying to the greeting cards aisle. "Only so many times you two can hit me back from a response without me doing something about it." He cracked his knuckles. The two battered up yatos came back limping to everyone.

"Well that leaves..." Sensei did a spin around and his finger landed on two of them. "Abuto and Skele!"

"Alright! This should be a time to relax." Abuto said and they gave each other a good guy high five. 

"Well guess that's it then. Come on Sensei, let's go. Oboro started to walk to the left but Sensei pulled him back with great force to everyone else.

"Nope! Oboro, you're going with Sakamoto!" Sensei smiled. "While it looks like me and the big pirate chief himself are together." 

"You got that right Samurai Gintoki's, Shinsuke's and Shinsuke's Husband's Sensei!" Kamui smiled.

"B-but.."

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"Nope nuh uh! Our bond isn't THAT strong." Chuckling Sensei pushed Oboro's bloody self next to Sakamoto and waved them away.

"I-i-isn't that strong....?" Oboro teared up, Poe handed him a tissue with his claw.

"Aahahahaha! Let's go Mr. Jizz!" The trading man patted Oboro's back, causing Poe to whip out some poisonous needles in his claw.

"What a overdramatic moron." Shinsuke rolled his eye and gave Katsura a high five on the ass I mean hand.

"Ha! Takes a emo to know a emo!" Kamui laughed. Takasugi's fists tightened though.

“What's the big rush to be together Mr. and Mr. Takasugi? You two going baby crib shopping?” Sensei joked. 

“..H-huh..." They both looked blank faced and spaced out, as if they cracked internally and mentally.

“O-Oh I’m sorry! I might have opened up a can of worms I shouldn't have.” Sensei waved his hands. 

“Little Shinsukes...” Katsura still looked beyond help.

“I could be called daddy..” Takasugi looked longingly into the distance of the warehouse Mal-Wart.

“I could be called papa..” Katsura said blushing a little and had a faint smile.

“Are you sure you two don’t already call each other-“ Smiling Kamui grabbed Takasugi’s sword before it could launch into his skull. He then flung it right back to the midget's face. 

“LEADER’S BROTHER-DONO!” Katsura said angrily.

“Yeah?” He smiled.

“Your hair is so silky soft still from the salon! I’m jealous.” Katsura complemented as Takasugi tried to pull his own sword out of his only good eye left.
————------

"Well...uh.. one sec." Gintoki looked at his hand at Kamui's writing. "No Dick. Did I pronounce that right?"

"Chief is the dick." No Man replied deadpan. "So uh, Samurai Dog, did you need anything?"

"Well I'm piss poor and flat out broke, so I have nothing planned." Gintoki put his hand in his kimono. He then noticed some cute girls walking by but felt intimidated to talk to them.

"Don't worry Samurai Dog, I know something that gives even better feelings than those women could probably give you." No Man patted him on the shoulder. Gintoki looked in eager learning from this wise, slightly older and greener man.

"See you on the other side, brother." Gintoki saluted with a roll of toilet paper in his hand as did No Man. They slammed shut both of the unisex bathrooms next to each other.

--------------

"So Samurai Gintoki's, Shinsuke's and Shinsuke's Husband's Sensei." Kamui breathed in. "WOW! That's a mouthful, mind if I call you Turtle Man?" Kamui pointed to a little sea turtle pin the teacher had on his kimono jacket.

"Hahaha sure thing, "Chief"." Sensei said, holding an empty basket in his hand as they went down some aisles.

"You know I like you Turtle Man. You're not annoying like SOME idiots I hang around." Kamui opened up his wallet with a picture of 4th and put a big loogie on it.

"Glad you see me in favorable eyes. Now did you need anything Kamui?" Sensei asked.

"Besides becoming the strongest in the universe? Nah not really." Kamui shrugged. "Oh hey look! THEY HAVE A WHOLE PIRATE SECTION!!!!!!!!!!"

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Kamui ran to the merchandise like a little kid on Christmas morning.

"Strongest in the universe..." Smiling Sensei repeated to himself and chuckled putting a can of WD-40 in his hand basket.

-------------------

"So Katsura..." The two of them were looking straight ahead while walking through the store. Takasugi was trying to contain his excitement while Katsura looked as serious as always."Where are we gonna take a go at it?" 

"Hm... Well not the hardware department.." Katsura rubbed his soft chin.

"How about the gaming aisle?" Takasugi suggested pointing to it not that far from the couple. "We can play while we play." He walked up behind Katsura and gently grabbed his waist.

"Not there either Shinsuke." Katsura squinted his eyes, still in deep deciding it. He continued walking and Shinsuke caught up with him.

"I got it! How about we go with the classic choice. The changing rooms?" The midget suggested again. "I mean it's pretty easy to do anything in there. Anything." wGMWXIE.gif

"No Shinny. I can figure this out myself." Katsura replied.

"Okay, okay. It's your choice anyways this time, cutie." He backed away.

"Hmm...There! I got it!" Katsura pointed to the toy aisle and ran to it. Shinsuke followed.

"Really Honey-chan? I mean this place is crawling with kids usually." Shinsuke looked around it and then shrugged. "Well those little twerps have to learn about the butterflies and the bees eventually." He begun untieing his kimono.

"What do you think you're doing?" Katsura asked looking over his shoulder at him.

"Well hopefully in a few minutes I'll be doing-"

Katsura flopped on a big stuffed animal bin and made a stuffed animal angel. "Isn't it great Shinny Boo? And it's all to ourselves! This will be the greatest cuddle night in weeks! I even wore my puppy paw pajamas underneath my regular clothes in preparation!"

"Cuddle night..?" Shinsuke pulled out his (nope) highly scheduled out calendar and examined it.

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"Awww man." He put it away.

"Yay!" Katsura tossed him a piggy stuffed animal. Shinsuke chuckled, tossing it back and joyfully joining his husband in the endless pit of them.

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----------------

Meanwhile two good intellectual chums were hanging out in the Mal-Wart's Barbuck's. 

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"It's just so refreshing for someone else to realize the tribulations that come with not giving yourself a little TLC from time to time you know?" Abuto said.

"I totally get it my man. I can't imagine going one week without buffering and polishing my ribcage." Skele replied, smiling. "What I always say to the people who work under me is follow your dreams, work hard and you can achieve anything."

"Easier said then done when your ship is a crew filled with blood thirsty super warriors." Abuto scoffed.

"Oh crazy warriors. You should see the heroes table at lunch then. Took us three hours to wipe away everything my hero Tatsumaki destroyed in her drunken fit of rage." Skele put a boney hand to his skull and smirked at the ridiculousness. 

"Try still doing all that when your Chief isn't even intoxicated." Abuto added. Both of them started laughing now.

"One plain black coffee, only one pump of sugar?" The waitress said with their orders.

"Oh that's mi-" Both of the men said. "Ahaaaaa." They playfully pointed at each other.

TBC

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16 minutes ago, Honey-chan♡ said:

"SHINSUKE, I HAVEN'T FELT THIS ALIVE!"  Zura said, grabbing Shinsuke by the waist.

still my favorite tbc line out of context? I also like how when I ctrl-f it was the only result in the entire arc for "waist"

only appropriate

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