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17 hours ago, Kiyozu♡ said:

Lime ran all the way home from his business on the side of the shady side of Midget City. There he caught his only one hermano in the hands of his semi chubby tsundere husband, kissing away in THAT fatty grey neck of Old's. He looked in absolute horror for the one time in his life.

"Lime! He won't let go I-" But Lime ran into his bedroom slamming that door so hard it woke up Mr. Balloony from his nap in heaven.

"My Child, why are you so upset?" Mr. GOD asked his loyal chode chump disciple Mr. Lime Himself. 

"I caught my marido in the hands of my half brother." He sobbed into a lean cuisine and then held up a explicit picture of his beloveded that showed off THAT tiny pelvic area itself. "It's because I'm FAT isn't it."

"Child. You are a strong bisexual-"

"Homosexual." He corrected him. 

"Er..? Don't you have men and women clients?"

"you don't know what I got" the Mexican said in his best Rex impersonation.

"Daddy..? What's going on downstairs with Uncle and Daddy?" A two year old wobbling Young opened the door much to Lime's horror.

He hid the sexy picture of that toupee god and took his son's hand and gently put him back bed. Lime stormed down stairs as Cherry and Lil' Hiro themselves watched the love triangle unfold between the bars of the staircase. 

"HEY! If you want to take that outside away from our scientifically lab made children-"

"HE'S HARASSING ME YOU IDIOT" 

Dumb bitch Lime finally put two and two together and dove for his half citrus sibling. Lime put the man in a head lock.

"Dam, uncle got horny." Cherry added from the steps.

"EeeeGASAAAAA" Lil' Hiro said, trying his best to speak as usual. 

Lime threw Lemon out the winder and he flew into the clouds.

"GET THE HELL OUTTA MI CASA!" Lime yelled and they all cheered, well except Old.

"You ignored me.. I can't believe you I was being attacked by a bi-curious man and you went up to the bedroom for two hours and sobbed into a classic american-italian DISH!" Old slammed the door to the outside of the house and for once Lime felt like iShit.

"what have eyee become." lime sung sadly and cried back into his Italian-American-Mexican imported from China lean cuisine.

Sobbing gently into his Made in China brand Lean Cuisine, Lime began to question the fragility of life, and wonder why he had hurt his beloved husband in such ways as had occurred on that day, a day which forever would go down in history as The Day Old Snapped. The all-too-familiar sound of a slamming car door, followed by the revving up of an engine let Lime know that his lover, along with his many biological children, were on their way to RoofieBucks for an 'apology frappuccino' for the events they had been subject to witness that day.

"Now, children," Old began in his most paternal, fatherly voice, "the events that you witnessed today between me and your Uncle Lemon were truly disturbing, and so is the way your father handled them." Old drove up the window and ordered four triple venti roofie vanilla bean Teavana teas, the families personal beverage of choice. Looking back at his children, the toupee'd man pretended not to notice as his smallest baby, Young, wore a bizarre blue furry costume reminiscent of his favorite My Dad the Producer character. 

After returning, Old walked upstairs, sprite occasionally clipping through the world, into the LGBT Fuckpalace known as his and Lime's shared palace, where babe they LOVED 2nite to make up for the sorrows of the day before. 

 

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Chapter 217: Old is a (SOMETIMES) good father

On the day that was today of the day of which we just said, Mr. Himself (no not the lusty zesty Mexican dream man we all know and crave) was driving his oldest child of him and Lime's 3 month marriage (spider stickmen only need a few months to grow up in full grown adults so Lime is really 2 years old and we feel arkward) Cherry and their middle child Hiro were in the back seats. In the middle of them was a sweeping just recently turned 2 year old Young II.

"Why is your toupee on backwards?" Cherry laughed. She really did take after her father's wild personality. 

"Maybe I like it that way!" Old tried his best to contain his middle aged rage against his  fruit named child. 

"Why is Dad named after a fruit? Why am I named after a fruit? Why is Young named after a state of life and why will his name change to Old later? And who the fack came up with Lil' Hiro?" She asked.

"SHUT UP!!" Old yelled.

"AAAAAAAAAA" Young cried.

Old dropped his children in front of the Midget Elementary Academy.

"Coooo! Cooo!" Hiro said to him while getting out.

"uh yes love you too, lil' hiro." Old said arkwardly. "make sure you take your brother to Room 2, Mariah's Special Ed." He told Cherry.

"if you're such a scientist and whizz and all that why don't you fix Lil' Hiro's brain?" 

"Maybe he likes to be this way!" Old yelled again, annoyed and slammed the door of his van with the my child is on midget elementary school honor rolls.

"AAAAAAaaaAaaaaAaaaAAAAA!" Young cried again and Old took off without another word.

"Come on Lil' Hiro. If DAD won't talk to us as much as he does with Dad Himself during their closed bedroom nights, then We Will!" She grabbed his hand and they entered the school with their many half-siblings that they weren't allowed to socialize with because Old Neglects his other midget children usually. Also prom is Weird when ur all related. 

"Coo coo!!!" Lil' Hiro tried to vocalize with his beak thingy mahbob.

Cherry sat in a class full of midgets as WORLD FAMOUS HOLY SHIT SKEET HIMSELF THEIR SENSEI CAME IN AND SAT DOWN. 

"Today we're gonna learn about Salt." He said with fancy smart glasses and writing on the chalkboard.

"Just a little sodium chloride!" Cherry said WITHOUT raising her stockman spider Old creature hand and being called on. 

"Dude, it's Salt."

"That's what I said! Sodium Chloride!"

",,,,,,,," -music-

"That's what I said! Sodium Chloride!"

",,,,,,,,,YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO HIT THE BUTTONS WITH THE PICTURES OF F O O D ON EM" he went into super sayian mode and then destroyed the whole school.

"What a blowhard. Yay, school's out!" Cherry proclaimed with her rejoicing classmates as the audience cheered. 

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"coooooo cooooOOCooooooooo coooool!!!!!!!" Lil Hiro yelled in a fit of rage and perhaps even anger, emotions that Mr. Hiro rarely felt. 

"Lil Hiro, come on. We can't ALL be cool scientists who know that perhaps salt is called Sodium Chloride in some worlds, or more specifically, the chemical compound NaCl. Ha, CL! She has no career." They all took a moment to laugh, including Bom, Sandara, and Minzy who were all there for no explicitly mentioned reason. 

Meanwhile, Old noticed the explosion at the school and continued to drive away. "Those wacky children can deal with this. They'll probably just call an Uber. It's time for us to have father-son bonding, Young." The greyed-out, backwards-toupee'd man proceeded to turn on the radio, which was playing a medley of SNSDs greatest hits in honor of the fallen heroes. 

"솔직한 내 맘을 다들켜 버릴래 다 들려줄래!" Song Sunny the Boobs Woman, OFF-KEY as Rex might say. 

"That womban is only in the group because of her boobs." Old said in a fit of rage. 

"Boobs!" Young repeated. Old was horrified at the consequences of his words, but shook it off and pretended that nothing had occurred. 

"Now, Little Young, let me tell you a story," Old said, turning down the radio. "I met Preg recently, my name is Old (@oldSNSDstan) and this is my womb story. I met her October 20th of this year and it was horrific. She was rude, not classy and he lost a long time midget-maker that day. I walked into the $350 M&G and say hello, she replies with "toupee'd" and I shook it off because I thought maybe I had heard her wrong. As I approached her and asked to do my pose she stared at me blank faced. I continued talking "you saved my life" I say. "You're the reason I'm alive today". She looks me dead in the eye and says "you'll die soon enough, fatty" and then whispered "obesity". I started crying I had never felt pain like this and she started laughing and said "are you crying? Stop it. Stop it now" and she flicked my scrotum. The photographer took the picture and I headed out of the M&G section and that's when Preg started speaking whale to me. I still can't believe this happened. I cried writing this. I wish this weren't true but Pregasaurus Rex is in fact; a horrible BEAST. Thank you for reading this. And if you don't believe me ask Lime he was there with me." 

J5J2tr3.png

Young cried at the depressing happenings. How could this BEAST ruin his fathers 350 dollar M&G like this? He would kill her if he ever saw her, that is one thing he knew for certain. 

"AAAAsaaaaaa" Young yelled, attempting to communicate his eldritch feelings of contempt for the pregnant baboon woman who had disdained his father all these eons ago. 

"I know. What makes anyone think that BEACH would make me happy," Old scoffed, forgetting the I <3 Preg tattoo he had gotten in a region not even the birds could see. 

Meanwhile, at the school, Cherry and Lil' Hiro were on their way to Midgetway, the best location for a sandwich in all of Midget City, or perhaps the cheapest, as Old only gives his children $2 per calendar year of an allowance.  They sang Poppy's iconic bop Interweb on the way, hoping a local may hear their vocals and throw spare change. 

hOFJIiD.png

"If you're wondering what this is on my sandwich kids, It's Semen." The pair looked around, but couldn't identify any speaker so they shook it off and kept walking. 

 

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