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Wumbo Ranks Billboard Year-End Hot 100 Charts! (Top 100 Artists)

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Top 10? Bottom 10? I'd like to think I'm more opinionated than that.


Okay, so this will either be the best or the worst thing ever. Basically, I'm taking a look (a listen, rather), at the Hot 100 Year-End Chart of 2013, and will rank them based on my opinion of each song, from best (#1) to worst (#100). The list will commence with me posting numbers 50 to 41 (i.e. the worst of the best half) and numbers 51 to 60 (i.e. the best of the worst half). We'll continue from there until we reach the Top 10 and Bottom 10.


So strap in, because we're in for a bumpy ride, starting tomorrow!



1959: Page 8/Explanations Page 20

1960: Page 18

1961: Page 27

1962: Page 48

1963: Page 26

1964: Page 21

1965: Page 37

1966: Page 19

1967: Page 12

1968: Page 50

1969: Page 43

1970: Page 36

1971: Page 31

1972: Page 19

1973: Page 15

1974: Page 24

1975: Page 27

1976: Page 26

1977: Page 25

1978: Page 50

1979: Page 41

1980: Page 16

1981: Page 28

1982: Page 37

1983: Page 10

1984: Page 41

1985: Page 32

1986: Page 24

1987: Page 30

1988: Page 50

1989: Page 45/Explanations Page 46

1990: Page 11

1991: Page 33

1992: Page 40

1993: Page 47

1994: Page 38

1995: Page 20

1996: Page 4

1997: Page 39

1998Page 21

1999: Page 44

2000: Page 42

2001: Page 22

2002: Page 5

2003: Page 35

2004: Page 49

2005: Page 17

2006: Page 46

2007: Page 13

2008: Page 30

2009: Page 50

2010: Page 7

2011: Page 9

2012Page 23

2013: Page 1

2014: (Check Clappy's Best and Worst of 2014 thread)

2015: (Check Clappy's Best and Worst of 2015 thread)

2016: (Check Clappy's Best and Worst of 2016 thread)

2017: ^this but 2017

2018: c'mon now

2019: lol



TOP 100 ARTISTS: Page 51

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The Top:



​50. "Gangnam Style" - PSY




For whatever reason, "Gangnam Style" charted on the Year End charts this year and "Gentleman" didn't. This is just my personal opinion, but it might be because "Gentleman" sucked.




Wow. If he did this with any other artist, they would have all the grounds to sue him. Anyway, "Gentleman" was such an obvious attempt to play off of "Gangnam Style" that it wasn't even funny. Seriously, it wasn't even funny. I wasn't laughing.


As one of three novelty songs that made this list, "Gangnam Style" belongs smack in the middle. I'm pretty sure everyone's forgotten about it now, but apparently it was big in 2013 at some point? Whatever.



49. "Best Song Ever" - One Direction




I will admit that One Direction got a lot, lot better this year. While I panned this song in my first review of it, it really is One Direction's best song ever. Granted, that's not enough for it to go higher than this, but at least they're not on the bad end of the list. Keep climbing like this and maybe I'll learn to like you. Maybe.



48. "Get Your Shine On" - Florida Georgia Line




Just your average catchy country song, enough to outrank a One Direction song. Congratulations, Florida Georgia Line. Don't expect me to be too nice to you later.



47. "Catch My Breath" - Kelly Clarkson




Another "tail end of 2012" song, this one appeared on Kelly's Greatest Hits album. While it doesn't stack up to previous hits, it's still a fun, if slightly generic tune.



46. "Still Into You" - Paramore




Uh, speaking of generic... listen to Paramore's new song! This song just squeaked into the year-end charts at #100, and man, does it sound like that kind of song. It's catchy and fun enough for me to put it in the top half, but Paramore used to be a lot better, if not at least more interesting.



45. "Demons" - Imagine Dragons




Looks like Imagine Dragons is taking some backlash around here as of late, and here's probably their most infamous song, sitting at number 45. This is Imagine Dragons' worst song, no question. But I still can't say I hate it. No matter how boring the composition may be, the lead singer still tries to sell the song through his vocals, and I think he does a good job of it. Imagine Dragons should thank their lucky stars they have him on board. (I'm kind of skeptical as to how much work the rest of band did on this song, anyway.)



44. "I Cry" - Flo Rida






That hook. That fucking hook is the only reason this made it even this far. That and I never really hated Flo Rida (despite my previous statement). He was always just kind of there. Just being kind of there with a catchy hook? Congratulations on outranking Imagine Dragons, Flo Rida.



43. "It Goes Like This" - Thomas Rhett




I have an embarrassing amount of country music in this half. Hell, I'd be saying that even if this was the only one. But for one reason or another, country music stepped up big for me this year. I can't hate this song at all, as well as songs that will outrank it. But don't worry, there's still plenty of country music in the bottom half.



42. "Royals" - Lorde




I wouldn't quite call myself a convert when it comes to this song. I was always kind of on the bubble about it, and 42 is still pretty close to the middle. But there was one very important thing that I discovered this song was not: boring. The near-a capella instrumentation can backfire (ahem), but it worked here. I still couldn't really tell you that this is a masterpiece as everyone else seems to believe, but it's good. Not great, but good.



41. "Try" - P!nk




Somewhere along the line, I just grew flat bored of P!nk. But this song has enough going for it that it scores in my top half. I think the video's interesting, there's a clear, uplifting message there, and P!nk gives it all she has vocally without being irritating.

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The Bottom:



51. "Diamonds" - Rihanna




What can I say? This emotionally open ballad scored below "Gangnam Style". I don't think I'll ever be a Rihanna fan. There are times when she knocks it out of the park, but this? Not one of them. Still trying to get "SHYINEBRYETLIKADYIAMOND" out of my head.



52. "Adorn" - Miguel




Can't say I really hate Miguel, but this song was not a very good first impression of him. It's just kind of there, not really all that exciting. It is sweet, I guess, but I can't do much with this.



53. "Let Her Go" - Passenger




This might have worked better if this guy didn't sound like a cartoon character. The lyrics are nice, but I cannot get past this guy's goofy voice. It's like Whitey from Eight Crazy Nights trying to sing a heartbreak song.



54. "Bugatti" - Ace Hood ft. Future, Rick Ross




Surprise! I can't do much with a rap song about how rich the rappers are! I know this is a stark contrast to my usual opinions of rap music, but bear with me. The one thing this song has going for it that scores it this high is that Ace Hood at least brings some energy to this overworked topic in his flow.



55. "22" - Taylor Swift




I can't say I hate this song as much as I used to, but it is still pretty grating. Taylor Swift's "make fun of our exes" line is pretty much a "fuck you" to anyone who hated her in the first place, so fuck you back, Taylor.



56. "Runnin' Outta Moonlight" - Randy Houser




Told ya there would be country music in the right half of this list. I'm not even sure I need to elaborate here. The only thing this song is missing is beer. Girls and trucks are front and center though. Thanks, Randy Houser, for being horribly generic enough to rank below "22".



57. "Downtown" - Lady Antebellum




Yeah, I never really liked Lady Antebellum. I will admit that "Need You Now" is a good song, but I can't do anything with songs like this. Oh, he doesn't take you downtown like he used to? Why don't you go by yourself, or with your friends, or something? The women's movement wasn't for nothing, you know!



58. "Brave" - Sara Bareilles




Ironic that a song about being brave is so milquetoast that it appears in a Windows commercial. Take your half-assed motivational speech elsewhere, Bareilles.



59. "#thatPOWER" - will.i.am ft. Justin Bieber




Yeah, here's a trend that needed to stop: will.i.am. Oh, and the hashtag song titles, too. Surprisingly, Justin Bieber keeps this from going any lower. Probably one of his best performances, but maybe it's just because it very much overshadows will.i.am's terrible, terrible performance. If there was any song that you needed to prove will.i.am wasn't trying anymore, this was it.



60. "Love Somebody" - Maroon 5




"I know you're inside, feeling so hollow", this song begins, and that's exactly my sentiment of this song: hollow. Something must have snapped inside me that just caused me to stop liking Maroon 5, because not a single one of their songs this year appears on my best half. Yes, this is actually the highest one. Overexposed? More like Underwhelmed.

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The Top:



40. "Carry On" - fun.




Unfortunately, fun. couldn't bring all of their success over to 2013. But the success they did have was well-deserved. While Nate Ruess's voice can get a little grating in this one, it's still a fun, uplifiting song.



39. "The Other Side" - Jason Derulo




JAYSON DERULOO is actually getting better, as evidenced by this song. While there's still some work to be done, it's loads better than shit like "Whatcha Say".



38. "The A Team" - Ed Sheeran




Yeah, uh, remember this? Apparently its popularity crossed over into 2013 as well. Not that I'm complaining. I'd be crazy to put this on my bad list.



37. "Some Nights" - fun.




This is the kind of song that grabs your attention and never lets go. Call it what you want, just don't call it boring. (Also, another hit from 2012? Come on 2013, where are your hits?)



36. "Counting Stars" - OneRepublic




OneRepublic knocks it out of the park with this one. ToddInTheShadows made an interesting comparison between this and "Demons", saying that it was like the two bands switched places. I'd have to agree. While "Demons" was the least interesting song that Imagine Dragons have done, this is definitely the most interesting song OneRepublic's done.



35. "Mama's Broken Heart" - Miranda Lambert




I guess I was anxiously waiting for Miranda to have her "Before He Cheats" moment, and I guess this is about as close as we're going to get. And hey, I'm totally fine with that. This powerhouse of a song packs some real down-home anger. While she's not digging my key into the side of the yada yada yada, I still wouldn't want to mess with her.



34. "Gone, Gone, Gone" - Phillip Phillips




For my money, this is a much better song than "Home" (whoops, spoiler alert). I can't really explain why, except everything seems to come together here and nothing feels forced. It's like "Home 2.0".



33. "Let Me Love You (Until You Learn to Love Yourself)" - Ne-Yo




Other than an annoyingly long title (who are you, Fall Out Boy?) this song is great. As I believe I said earlier, it's One Direction's "What Makes You Beautiful" done right. And why shouldn't it have been? Ne-Yo gets it. And he's fantastic at showing it.



32. "Hall of Fame" - The Script ft. will.i.am




Big, stupid, grandiose production? Putting every ounce of emotion and soul into the lyrics? Reducing will.i.am to a guest part where he actually does little damage? Check, check, and check.



31. "Crash My Party" - Luke Bryan




Maybe I'm just a big softie, but for one reason or another I liked this song enough to rank it thusly high. Unlike other country songs where the guy sounds insincere, this sounds sincere. And as Linus Van Pelt searches for the most sincere of pumpkin patches, I too will search for sincerity in country songs.

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The Bottom:



61. "One More Night" - Maroon 5




Useless Maroon 5 Song Number Two. This song just starts off unpleasant with Adam Levine's tuneless wailing and never recovers, at all. Obviously People magazine has never heard his voice to vote him "Sexiest Man Alive" Hell, he wouldn't get Sexiest Canine Alive with this.



62. "Wanted" - Hunter Hayes




Remember how I preached sincerity in country music? Well, this has none. Seriously, it's like country's answer to "What Makes You Beautiful. An honest version of this song would go.


I wanna have some sex

And then we'll have some more

I wanna reach my climax


For not being completely honest with me, Hunter Hayes gets sent to his room without dinner.



63. "Fuckin' Problems" - A$ap Rocky ft. Drake, 2 Chainz & Kendrick Lamar




Haha, get it? He's got a FUCKING problem! In the same way that an alcoholic has a beer problem! Oh, mercy.


No, but that is the best part of the song, and that's all I need to say. Next!



64. "Just Give Me a Reason" - P!nk ft. Nate Ruess




When I said that P!nk became flat boring for me, this was exactly the song I had in mind. My God, could there be a more boring production than this?*


But the worst part of this song by far is when P!nk and Ruess try to out-sing each other, and it descends into a torrent of wailing and screeching. P!nk ultimately "wins" this battle, shattering glass within ten miles' radius of the recording studio.


*(Spoiler: the answer is yes.)



65. "Beauty and a Beat" - Justin Bieber ft. Nicki Minaj




The cheesy song title is pretty much all you need to know about the song to get a good picture of what it's like: just plain stupid. Nicki Minaj doesn't help matters by threatening to hit Justin with the ether. While I'd like to do it as well (if I am meant to take this as literally as possible), I know it's not acceptable behaviour, but Minaj plays it off as if it is. Oh well. Enjoy your 2-second retirement, Biebs.



66. "Girl on Fire" - Alicia Keys ft. Nicki Minaj




So, it's safe to say I didn't have much use for Nicki Minaj this year. This time though, she was just stuck on a boring song. This is apparently the "inferno version", and while it packs more of a punch than the original (anything would have to) with Nicki's parts, the two parts don't work together at all and the song turns into a mess.



67. "That's My Kind of Night" - Luke Bryan




Country song staples roll call! Trucks?


I got that real good feel good stuff
Up under the seat of my big black jacked up truck


Check! Girls?


Rollin' on 35s
Pretty girl by my side


Check! Beer?


Girl hand me another beer, yeah!


Check! And in the first 8 lines, too! Pretty soon, country music is literally just going to be those 3 words over and over again, and Luke Bryan isn't helping with this shit.



68. "Summertime Sadness" - Lana Del Rey & Cedric Gervais




I would have this on the top half of my list if it was the original. That's a testament to how much this remix sucks balls. I mean, my God. Even I can't stick up for EDM when it tries this shit. Leave good songs alone.



69. "Sure Be Cool if You Did" - Blake Shelton




Again, I don't buy this. And even if I did, it comes off as kind of whiny to me. Also, you're a married man for Christ's sake. Start acting like it.



70. "The Fox" - Ylvis




And suddenly, everyone stopped caring about what the fox said. And the world was at peace.

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  • You don't like Just Give Me a Reason. I personally thought it was one of the best songs of 2013. I think I have a better tolerance for bland than other people do.
  • YES, ANOTHER PERSON WHO HATES THE REMIX OF SUMMERTIME SADNESS! People are always saying that the remix is better because it's happier, but it's NOT TRUE! Sometimes, we need a little sadness, Cedric Gervais, you stupid fuck.
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Surprisingly Todd actually made me like Counting Stars from his comparison to Demons. So glad you have WDTFS I honestly think it's horrendously obnoxious. P!nk's songs just mostly make me cringe from the vocals now. Anything Nikki or Rihanna related is usually a no no for me.

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P!nk's vocals are still far less cringeworthy than Ke$ha's vocals or the screaming you hear in most death/heavy metal songs.


Actually, I think Ke$ha is a far better singer than P!nk, and there are no deathmetal songs in the Billboard Hot 100. :P

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Actually, whenever someone tells me Ke$ha can't sing, I like to refer them to this song:




Ke$ha is a lot smarter and has a lot more talent than she lets on. The problem with her is that she undermines her talent with worthless songs. Also, she raps.

Wow, I take back everything I said about her being untalented. Guess changing her image was a publicity stunt. Kinda wish she hadn't, though :/

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The Top:



30. "I Want Crazy" - Hunter Hayes




So this is loads better than "Wanted", for one simple reason: it sounds sincere. Linus, Pumpkin patch, blah blah blah.



29. "Troublemaker" - Olly Murs ft. Flo Rida




I think the fact that I'm bobbing my head to this song as we speak and not caring who sees is enough of a testament to how great this song is. This also proves that Flo Rida works best as a guest artist.


No, but holy fuck this song is so catchy. i know I'll have this in my head the next few weeks.



28. "Next to Me" - Emeli Sandé




Simple message of "meet the new boss, completely different from the old boss", but this song has enough clout to hammer the message home. This song took too long to become popular in North America, but at least it got there eventually.



27. "Swimming Pools (Drank)" - Kendrick Lamar




Okay, I think I finally get Kendrick Lamar. If nothing else, this song is fucking awesome. We definitely need more "Swimming Pools (Drank)" and less... nearly everything else in hip hop these days.



26. "Berzerk" - Eminem




"Let's take it back to straight hip hop, and start it from scratch", Eminem professes, and while I still don't think this is back to classic Eminem, god damn, he tries. This is the hardest Eminem's tried in a long, long time, and it shows big time. I don't even care that I still have problems with the song's flow, it's Slim Shady, and he's back. So fuck everything else.



25. "Highway Don't Care" - Tim McGraw ft. Taylor Swift




Did I mention I'm really a big softie on the inside? It's duets that usually hit me the hardest (unless they're all screamy and unpleasant and whatnot), and this song just works. In any case, it's better than when Tim McGraw had a bromance with Nelly back in 2004. Oh Jesus, that still makes me laugh. We'll get to your country collaborations this year later, Nelly. Anyway, yeah. Great song from two country artists that can be great if they have the right material.



24. "Bad" - Wale ft. Tiara Thomas




Is it bad that I never made love, no I never did it
But I sure know how to fuck


Wow. I don't think rap has had a more emotional hook than this one this year. Setting the tone for the entire song, while the verses are great as well, the chorus is definitely the standout in this song. Tiara Thomas is a goddess. Also, those bedsprings in the background. Subtle, but effective.



23. "Little Talks" - Of Monsters and Men




Did I mention I love ridiculous indie songs? This is about as great as it gets. You have that overblown chorus with the horns, leading into a pretty deep storyline between the two singers. Gosh, another duet! The singers really take this song to the next level. I only wish I could separate the song from the ridiculoustastic video, which may be influencing my vote.



22. "Radioactive" - Imagine Dragons






Heck, it's not even my number one Imagine Dragons song. Yes, I love the song. But is it the best of 2013? Hardly. While it is some quality ridiculous indie (my favourite part is when Dan Reynolds sings "I'm breathing in the chemicals", and then gives THE GREATEST BREATH IN THE WORLD), that's not enough for it to be a truly spectacular song of 2013. Granted, it beat out a lot of songs to get this far, so it definitely has a lot of things right about it. The pounding drum, the desperate vocals, the straightforward lyrics. I smell a nuclear holocaust approaching.



21. "Wagon Wheel" - Darius Rucker




For reasons even I can't quite fully explain, this little ditty beat out the greatest song of 2013. I think it's because it seems to be going back to old country roots. When it comes to country, Darius Rucker seems to get it. The result is a damn good country song. So good, in fact, that it's the top country song on this list. Good job, Rucker. Now get back to Hootie & The Blowfish where you really belong.

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I will distribute my likes in due time, but I really dig your idea here Wumbo. Tempted to rehash it, but I'm going to at least do more than just a Top/Bottom 10 system as well when it comes to my year end stuff. Keep up the good work, despite me disagreeing with some of your positions obviously. :P

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