Wumbo Ranks Billboard Year-End Hot 100 Charts! (Ahhh, the deed is done.)

[Steel Sponge]

how dare that the most commonly agreed and predictable choice for the #1 music act is not even wumbo's #1 on his list

With all seriousness though, I've been wondering for a while when The Beatles were going to show up just so I'd know how difficult it was to a pick the absolute best song from them. I've been liking everything that I've been seeing in this countdown, so I don't have any real complaints (well except gorillaz being even lower than foster the people srsly now). 

[Wumbo]

30-20

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30. Queen

I don't need to explain to you why I like Queen. If you need an explanation for why someone likes Queen, you're already beyond help. No one can guide you to the magical powers of Freddie Mercury and his band. It's nigh impossible.

…But, because this is a write-up about Queen, I suppose I'll do my best. Queen are simply an exhilarating band; their songs are always full of such power and might. They really put their all into whatever they're doing, whether it's rockabilly, power ballads, or a mini-rock opera. And of course, it all stems from Freddie Mercury. What a powerhouse of a lead vocalist and what a frontman presence. He might be the best-known frontman of all time, and for good reason. He simply commands your attention. That's not to discount the rest of the band's efforts, they are really good at genre-hopping and mixing, and it always sounds authentic. But let's be real here. Freddie Mercury simply is the band. He is an eternal superstar showman, and he is the reason this band places so high. What a masterful singer and performer, and a pretty damn good group to back him up.

Best Song: I know the one answer I'm not supposed to say is "Bohemian Rhapsody", but let's be real, it's fucking "Bohemian Rhapsody".

 

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29. Foo Fighters

Man, Foo Fighters are simply THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST- alright, fine, I'll write some more. You'd think after 70 of these entries, I could cut myself some slack, but nope! As the list goes on, it gets even more important to justify why these artists have ranked so high. So here goes.

One thing I really admire about the Foo Fighters is their consistency. They always seem to have songs under their belt that not only work on their own, but work within the time that they're released. They feel timeless and of their time, at the same time. A lot of the reason many Foo Fighters songs work is because of Dave Grohl. He just has such a powerful voice ready to scream at any given opportunity, but can also be restrained enough to mellow out if needed. Dave Grohl really does come off as a master musician throughout his storied career. First drummer for Nirvana, then lead singer of his own band along with part-time drummer for many other rock bands along the way. I wonder how different the rock landscape would look without Dave Grohl's influence. He was drummer for one of the most influential bands of all time, and went on to have his hand in many a band through the 2000s, not just the Foo Fighters. But I think Foo Fighters is where he does his best work. There's just such a chemistry and consistency there that make them a comforting band to listen to, even amongst all the screaming. Dave Grohl was a familiar presence through my childhood, and I have no doubts he and his rock band will continue rockin' for years to come.

Best Song: "DOA"

 

 

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28. Jay-Z

Hov! Jay-Z is simply the epitome of cool in rap music, even outmatching Snoop Dogg, who, let's face it, has become a bit of a punchline in recent years. Not Jay-Z, though. He's been working hard for the better part of two decades now, trying to maintain relevance in an ever-changing rap landscape. He does this by consistently being good at what he does. There's something familiar about a Jay-Z song, and yet he's also tried to change things up a little to stand out from the crowd. That 4:44 album released a few years ago is still a masterpiece in my view. The thing with Jay-Z is that it's so admirable that he continues to try when he really doesn't have to. I'd say most people would still know who he is if he stopped releasing music in 2010. But he kept on pushing himself to greater heights and working hard to maintain his relevance without question. It is simply impossible to overstate the amount of good music Jay-Z has left us with over the course of 20 years. And I have a feeling he's not done yet. Whether the topic is massive opulence, massive regret, or both, Jay-Z nails it nearly every time.

Best Song: "The Story of O.J."

 

 

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27. Guns N' Roses

I feel like no one really sticks up for Guns N' Roses. It might be because they've taken this awkward middle ground between hard rock and hair metal. It might be due to their prolonged hiatus only to come back with a supremely lackluster album in 2008. Or it might be that Axl Rose is kind of a dick. But whatever the case, I think that Guns N' Roses deserve to get the roses while they can still smell 'em. They're a lot more interesting of a band than you might think, and a lot of it has to do with Axl Rose's creative songwriting. Especially on the Use Your Illusion albums, it feels like you're taking a descent into madness when you listen to Guns N' Roses. The grimy sort of madness that can only be truly felt if you're an incredibly lucrative rock star with no idea what the hell to do with yourself. Seriously, some of the stuff gets so dark you'd swear you were listening to an alternate universe version of Nirvana. What really elevates Guns N' Roses, though, is Slash. He's another distinctive guitarist who you can tell from just a note or two. So many memorable riffs and moments, and it's no wonder so many people want him on their songs. But the two work best together. Axl Rose without Slash is ungrounded and overly pretentious, and Slash without Axl is, let's face it, creatively bankrupt. Not Slash himself, really, but, like, does anyone remember Myles Kennedy? Exactly my point. Guns N' Roses at their peak were seriously some of the finest and most interesting rock music you could find in the mainstream. I stand by that.

Best Song: "You Could Be Mine"

 

 

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26. Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson was likely a very disturbed person who had severe boundary issues. He is not someone to be looked up to as a person. But the music scene would likely be very different were Michael Jackson not a part of it. He doesn't wear the "King of Pop" moniker for no reason. His career spanning an impressive four decades (five if we're being generous) wasn't by accident. Even as a child, he was a musical legend, and he only got more influential and famous as he progressed through the 80s. There's so much interest and intrigue to his brand of pop star; the one not afraid to be a little creepy and unnerving, the one not afraid to star in his own mini-horror film. Again, hindsight states that more than a bit of this is harder to look at. But it's still fascinating to view in a vacuum.

I suppose now's as good a time as any to trot out the whole "separate the art from the artist" thing. I don't think anyone really has a good grasp on how they feel about this, even if they claim to. I certainly don't. For me, the best way I can describe it is that it's a case-by-case basis on whether I choose to uphold or ignore this principle. And it's not an easy decision to make, with any artists I really like. I mean, look through this list. It's full of assholes who did bad things. Axl Rose, John Lennon, 2Pac, James Brown, Gene fucking Simmons. And don't get me started on Noodle from Gorillaz. Little shit knows what she did. It's not like I'm blind to these issues. But if I were to go through and take out every artist who did a bad thing, I would be left with a pretty empty music catalogue. And you probably would too. So a little bit of cognitive dissonance is needed to stop me from going insane. Was Michael Jackson a bad person? Maybe, yes. But his music simply holds too much of a good history with me to let go completely. And he was a superstar that cannot just be left out of music history. He was a showman, a personality, and a talent to the highest degree. And maybe respect or admire isn't the word, but I do have to marvel at the legend that is Michael Jackson, the musician. And I wish I didn't have to spend so much time on the other thing, but it's basically woven into music discourse at this point. So here we are. Michael Jackson - Great musician, probably wouldn’t have invited him in for tea. That goes for a lot of this list and many others, but it is what it is.

Best Song: "Dirty Diana"

 

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25. Led Zeppelin

Anyway, it feels good to get back to just talking about music thieves on this list! Yeah, Led Zeppelin are notorious for lifting ideas from musicians in the past. But this never bothered me as much as it probably should, because all music comes from somewhere at the end of the day. And Led Zeppelin just happened to be the band that broke into the mainstream, being pretty great musicians in their own right. They're definitely the quintessential dad-rock band; you won't find many 50 year old+ men who aren't familiar with Led Zeppelin. There's just something with the amount of complexity they put into their songs without ever coming off as pretentious. John Bonham and John Paul Jones may be the greatest rhythm section in rock this side of Rush. So many classics in their catalog - I dare say I grew up knowing more Zeppelin songs than Beatles. Again, dad-rock radio staple. But there's a reason for that; their songs have legitimate bite and menace to them. A lot of this comes from Robert Plant's howling vocals. He may be an acquired taste, but once you have it's captivating. And unlike a lot of classic rock bands that have cooled on me, I still have great appreciation for Led Zeppelin. They have a real head of the class feel, the cream of the crop, what all great rock musicians in the 70s should aspire to be. The personality, the showmanship, the talent, the intrigue, the… well, maybe not creativity. But damn, what a great band.

Best Song: "Heartbreaker" (that's twice now from two different artists; clearly if you want to impress me, a good foot in the door is simply naming your song "Heartbreaker")

Honourable mention to "Whole Lotta Love"

 

 

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24. Earth, Wind & Fire

Earth, Wind & Fire are the embodiment of joy and happiness. They are such a breath of fresh air whenever I listen to them, like taking a huge weight off your shoulders every day. They are so glittery and shimmering, making for a fun experience listening to them every time. The kind of band that always makes you want to get up and dance, even if it happens to be like this.

But that's the beauty of Earth, Wind & Fire. They're the dance band for everyone, even those who can't dance. It doesn't matter how poor your skills are, simply join in on the fun because Maurice White and Philip Bailey are more than happy to let you join the party. The world needs more expressions of pure euphoria and delight like Earth, Wind & Fire give us every time.

Best Song: "Shining Star"

 

 

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23. Eminem

Oh, Eminem. What happened to you, man? It's hard to think of a rapper in recent memory with a rockier track record than Eminem. But he ranks so high on this list because when he is at his peak, it is simply unmatchable. He blows the competition away with his incredible flow, lyricism, and song-crafting. It's not always pleasant to listen to - in fact, it rarely is. Basically the polar opposite of Earth, Wind & Fire here. But what you get from Eminem at his best is a fascinating character study into this lower-class white boy from Detroit. Eminem paints such intriguing pictures in his lyrics and his rhymes are so clever they suck you right in. He really is a technically perfect rapper, but that only works when he has the pathos to back it up, like he does on his earlier work. That talent, mixed with that creativity and angst, makes for artistry that is simply not to be ignored. Unfortunately, he got old and started to suck after that. But peak Eminem? God, it's a trip.

Best Song: "The Way I Am"

 

 

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22. Tom Petty (& The Heartbreakers)

Tom Petty is a nice tall glass of iced tea on a hot summer's day. The perfect chillaxin' music. Music straight from the heartland, from one of the coolest cats ever to grace rock n' roll with his presence. It's impossible to state just how catchy, memorable, and timeless every Tom Petty classic is. He has such a way with melodies that stick in your brain and resonate so long after you hear them. I've really come around to John Mellencamp, but he was never going to compare to Petty. There's a certain energy to Petty's songs that keep me coming back; whether on his rougher tracks or his more sunshiny ones, he has that "X factor" in his music that makes it a joy to listen to every time. Whether with his backing band The Heartbreakers or without. Tom Petty was a tremendous loss a few years ago. His music will always resonate with me as something to put on while on a summer drive down the highway. The perfect Americana act for this Canadian doofus.

Best Song: "Here Comes My Girl"

 

 

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21. Soundgarden

Chris Cornell.

Okay, fine, I have more to say. But really, can't I sum up my reasoning for placing Soundgarden so high with those two words alone? It wouldn't be a stretch to call Chris Cornell the greatest voice in grunge history. The amount of range and power he has is incredible, and is enough to carry any Soundgarden song. The fascinating thing about him is that he could easily be an opera singer, but his talents are just as wisely used on grunge. His piercing howling is the perfect centerpiece to elevate Soundgarden above their peers. It also helps that Soundgarden started out sounding much more intense than many of their peers. That first album could just as easily be heavy metal as it is grunge. And with a voice like Chris Cornell's, you need heavy music to back it up, and heavy subject matter. Soundgarden have always been a beacon of powerful, shattering emotion, and every one of their albums absolutely crushes. What more can I even say? Fantastic band, absolutely breathtaking… and yet, there are two grunge giants I like even better. And you'll see both of them next time. But that shouldn't take away from Soundgarden's accomplishments at all. What a powerhouse of a band.

Best Song: "Outshined"

 

 

[Wumbo]

20-10

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20. Stone Temple Pilots

I don't claim to buck trends or anything - just look at the rest of my list for examples - but Stone Temple Pilots over the likes of Soundgarden, Nirvana, and Alice in Chains - not to mention in the Top 20 - must be considered some kind of a hot take, right? Well, it's my list, and this is how I genuinely feel. Despite the very real angst Kurt Cobain and Layne Staley portray in their music, and Chris Cornell's absolutely dynamite voice, it is Stone Temple Pilots that win the day over for me. And again, it all comes down to that versatility. Stone Temple Pilots have made a lot of songs uncommon to the grunge genre and have outlasted their peers by managing to stay relevant into the 2000s. They have two distinct eras, in my view: pre- and post-Tiny Music. A lot of it has to do with how Scott Weiland has changed his voice and persona to match the changing times of rock music. Before, he sounds just as dirgey and grungy as any of his peers. But Tiny Music brings forth a new side of the band where they're allowed to have a little fun and play around with the grunge sound. And to be clear, I love both sides of this band. If I hated one side, they would not have made it this high. But it's exactly that versatility and adaptability that elevate them above their peers for me. They weren't afraid to try new sounds and it paid off marvellously for them, and yet they still manage to hold their own among the grunge greats when it comes to classic tunes. Core and Purple are such classic grunge albums and unfairly get overlooked in the face of Nirvana or Pearl Jam. I think it's finally time Stone Temple Pilots get their due, and I'm here to give it to 'em.

Best Song: "Sex Type Thing"

 

 

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19. Goo Goo Dolls

…All right. So hopefully we've reached the last part of my list where one of my picks is a flat-out embarrassment. Your mileage may vary. Nah, but putting Goo Goo Dolls on this list at all, never mind #19, is just a recipe for disaster when it comes to my credibility. Not that I've ever really cared about that, so let's go!

To be honest, I never understood the lumping in of Goo Goo Dolls with your standard boring adult alternative bands of the mid-to-late 90s. Well, I understand it, but I don't agree with it. A big hit like "Iris" does a lot for your reputation, I understand, although for the record I absolutely love that song. But I think we gotta turn the curtain back a little and look at where the Goo Goo Dolls came form. Namely, the start of their career as the Sex Maggots. No, I'm not joking.

These guys started out as a punk band. The "Iris" guys. No kidding. And you thought Green Day sold out. Eventually, Johnny Rzeznik became too much of a pretty boy to stay in that scene very long, and they developed into a more palatable band with only a slightly more palatable name. I really sound like I'm bashing these guys left and right, but to be clear, I think they tread the line between their old selves and their newer ambitions extremely well. Most of the time a compromise just makes no one happy, but the marriage between punk rock Sex Maggots and non-threatening dreamboats Goo Goo Dolls worked. I think it's because they weren't afraid to get a little sappy amidst the crunchy guitars, but also weren't afraid to let Robby Takac, who has a much less pretty voice, sing on some of the B-sides. Again, I recognize some, or a lot, of this may be from my parents' influence - my mom's a huge Goo Goo Dolls fan and we both saw them live in concert. But if they didn't hold up for me today, they would not be on this list at all. And they do, because I still think they rock. Now stop me before I put The Wallflowers at #17 or something.

Best Song: "I'm Awake Now"

 

 

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18. Linkin Park

Man, talk about not getting your flowers while you can still smell 'em. Chester Bennington's death is obviously a tragedy, and it forces the conversation of thinking about what we really say about these stars and celebrities, remembering that at the end of the day, they are people too. Now, I'm not saying Chester's death was due to bad fan reactions from recent albums; that's ridiculous and no one deserves that guilt for saying they didn't like "Heavy". But listening to the album, and indeed Linkin Park's overall sound in general, you can really feel the pain Chester Bennington was going through his whole life. It's heartbreaking, and it also speaks to how great of an artist he was to be able to express that pain so thoroughly and evocatively in his music.

Linkin Park get pigeonholed way the fuck too much as just an "angry white boy band". Guilty as charged. But you look back on their work and it's a marvel of thoughtful songwriting and masterful performances. I've gushed about Chester Bennington enough, but it can't be forgotten how much Mike Shinoda brings to the group. He serves as an excellent counterpart to Chester's wailing; consistently tight, menacing flows that help to ground the songs he's on. They are so much better than I think they're remembered, and deserve so much more of a legacy than they've gotten. I hope to see them in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame someday; I sincerely think they deserve it. They were the voice of a lost, disillusioned generation, and helped a lot of people, including me, through some tough times. Let's give them that credit they deserve for being such a dependable and even innovative band.

Best Song: "In The End"

 

 

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17. Hole

Hole is the best grunge band. Hole is the best parts of Nirvana, Alice in Chains, Soundgarden, and Stone Temple Pilots, with the most hard-hitting and versatile discography of them all. Live Through This is an eternally great album, and Celebrity Skin's pivot is one that veers even further and works even better than STP. Their debut also crushes as raw, snotty grunge music that Cobain could only dream of matching. You can chalk up their relative lack of legacy today to general misogyny and ridiculous rumours surrounding Love and Cobain, which I'm not even going to dignify here.

We so desperately need more female voices in rock music. There's a perspective that you just can't get from bands like Nirvana that you can with Hole. There's a certain pathos that just comes with existing as a woman in a male-dominated society and genre, and Courtney Love consistently leans into that with such success in her own way. She's such an infectious personality as a frontwoman; her energy carries the sound of the band to levels of excellence.

There was a meme floating around Twitter a few years ago that went along the lines of Female Artist could do Male Artist's Song, but Male Artist couldn't do Female Artist's Song. It was to make a point about the versatility of female musicians and them generally being overlooked, and clearly some of them were over-the-top jokes but a lot of them had legs. And one I always think of is this: Courtney Love could do Smells Like Teen Spirit, but Kurt Cobain probably didn't have a Malibu in him. And that's okay! I don't think I would necessarily want to hear a Malibu from Nirvana, particularly when Hole already does it so well. Because at the end of the day, it's unfair to even speak of Hole in comparison to other bands. Hole is their own wonderful entity with tons of iconic songs, and they can make a name for themselves without any comparisons necessary.

Best Song: "Violet"

 

 

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16. Smashing Pumpkins

Smashing Pumpkins are a sneaky beautiful band. They have a great handle on songwriting and crafting melodies in just the right way to capture a mood, whatever it takes. They're like Queen in a sense, if Queen was angstier and more industrial-sounding. They can't really be bound by genre, particularly on their magnum opus, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. It feels like Smashing Pumpkins just sit on another level of rock music, being wildly ahead of their time and certainly influential to those who wanted to experiment more in the 2000s and beyond. A band with Billy Corgan as its singer should not sound as gorgeous as they do on songs like "Tonight, Tonight". But they do, and they are unparalleled to this day. Nothing really sounds like them, and they managed to be a mainstay in the minds of a disillusioned 90s generation. Shame Billy Corgan turned out to be a dick, but that can't take away from my fond memories of this band.

Best Song: "Cherub Rock"

 

 

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15. The Weeknd

Everyone, say hello to the Michael Jackson of this generation. Musically. Yeah, I've been completely won over by The Weeknd at this point. It's amazing, he just keeps topping himself with every new release and new singles. He feels like the next Michael Jackson not only in sound and talent, but also in longevity. I have a feeling he'll be able to be a star for a long time to come. He just has that staying power and pop knowledge to make him an instant classic of a performer, not to mention the meme potential. You all saw that Super Bowl performance too, right? Yeah, The Weeknd is not only a great musician and immense talent, but a fun personality as well. It warms my heart that talented artists from Canada can still make it big like The Weeknd has. Sometimes I even forget he's Canadian; I just assume anyone with that level of fame not named Drake or Bieber is American. Again, shouldn't matter, but you take what you can get. And The Weeknd is a pretty damn great ambassador for this country.

Best Song: "Starboy" (ft. Daft Punk (RIP))

 

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14. The Cars

The Cars are a perfect rock band. I don't mind them coming here and wasting all my time. A wonderful example of power pop and new wave harmonizing together to make the catchiest rock music of the late 70s. Benjamin Orr is truly one of the most underrated singers out there, and Ric Ocasek provides exactly the weird counterpart that the group needs. Not a single miss with this band, amazing. What more can I say? Go listen to their debut again.

Best Song: "You're All I've Got Tonight"

 

 

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13. Lorde

I don't think any artist has made such an impression on me with only two albums as Lorde has. She is an incredible pop star. Her songs are so evocative and emotional, and more than a few of them bring me to genuine tears when I listen. It is so wonderful to have music to move me in this way, and remarkable that it comes from someone so young. Lorde speaks with an undercurrent of both aged wisdom and reckless young immaturity. Her two albums are both perfect, running the gamut of emotions and vibes and parties. Every song, it feels like you're right there in the moment. They paint such vivid pictures of what it's like to be the voice in the song. I don't know when that third album is coming, but I cannot wait for the next chapter. It's been so sweet thus far.

Best Song: "Ribs"

 

 

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12. David Bowie

The most famous chameleon of music, David Bowie has seen, heard, and done it all. He is an absolute delight with any costume he tries on, which earns him his reputation. It's not as though he's trend-hopping, more so that he's able to keep up in his own way by adapting to the times and releasing whatever David Bowie music sounds like at that time. Part of that is due to his ethereal nature of always being a little offbeat from everyone else. There's certainly a lot of artists inspired by David Bowie, but few to really match him. He stands alone as a beacon of brilliant songwriting, melody, and showmanship. David Bowie is so effortlessly cool, whatever he does. No skips in his catalog, and a great inspiration for countless artists to come. So many artists on this list alone… they likely owe a huge debt to Bowie. It really feels like Bowie just… is music. Few artists feel like the definition of music as much as Bowie does. It's like he re-wrote the book for everyone. Fantastic artist, can't praise enough. Always a delight.

Best Song: "Ashes to Ashes"

 

 

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11. Our Lady Peace

Once upon a time, Little Wumbo was just beginning to understand different kinds of music for himself and responding to what got played on the radio. Around his Grade 7-8 years, he really latched on to this bitter, cacophonous Canadian alt rock band called Our Lady Peace, and bought all of their albums. He was so enamored that when an assignment in Grade 8 required him to write a letter to an actual, real life celebrity or band, he chose Our Lady Peace as his letter recipient and wrote a ridiculously gushy letter praising each and every band member. Of course, due to incorrect postage, the band never received that letter. So let this be a lesson to you all: throw out all your stamps to avoid severe embarrassment.

ANYWAY. Yeah, Our Lady Peace are a very, very important band to me. I'd say they were probably my most formative band as a kid and teenager. I would first hear them on radio constantly thanks to CanCon rules, and all their angsty, loud, raucous music really appealed to me. But more than that, the dark, despairing lyrics spoke to me. I guess if there was a reason I latched onto the post-grunge sound of rock music in the 90s and 2000s, Our Lady Peace was it. They're like a Canadian Live, but less esoteric and more impactful with their lyrics. They were still a deranged group, don't get me wrong, particularly in their early days. But they struck a chord with me at an early age and have remained with me since, even through their mellowed-out phases through the late 2000s. This band probably isn't for everyone, but that's the beauty of lists like these.  Everyone has their own story behind their favourite artists and bands, and my story makes sense to me.

I still blast any of their first five albums whenever I get a chance, and the emotions still hit me in the gut all these years later. I could have certainly done worse when picking a formative band. Sometimes you need music to kick you into a pit of despair and derangement to feel something. And sometimes you need that same music to provide messages of hope, which OLP has plenty of among the chaos. and sometimes you just need it to rock. Which it does. God, I love this band. Amazed they didn't crack my Top 10. But that… will have to wait one more week.

Best Song: Seriously? Not a chance. I'll give a shortlist of "Clumsy", "Superman's Dead", "Naveed", "Julia", "Carnival", "Big Dumb Rocket", "Is Anybody Home", "Life", "Automatic Flowers", "Thief", "Middle of Yesterday"- I am being told that my shortlist is too long and just pick a damn song already. Fine. "Clumsy" it is.

 

 

[Wumbo]

IT'S HERE

TOP 10

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10. Beyoncé

Is it possible for an artist such as Beyoncé to be underrated? I'm actually gonna go with yes, as no one has received more unnecessary flak for just… existing than Beyoncé. If you ever need proof that racism and misogyny are alive and well, you need only look at the way some people turn their noses down at Beyoncé, but can't quiiiite put their finger on why. You'd assume that some of this is just jealousy, but I think it's a very specific type of racist jealousy that absolutely hates the idea of a black woman becoming this powerful and successful. But Beyoncé very clearly deserves it. And despite what I said, she has gotten a fair share of praise and acclaim as well, deservedly so. I think it's her album Lemonade that absolutely ended up winning me over, putting me on her side permanently. I started to come around once I grew up and realized there was more music out there than grungy shit, but Lemonade is an absolute delight of an album, cementing Beyoncé as the type of artist that will forever have a legacy. And she deserves it. She deserves to be even more loved than she is right now. She deserves the world and more. She is simply #Flawless. I love Beyoncé, and she can do absolutely no wrong. She deserves a spot in my Top 10 and so much more. Fuck the haters, man.

Best Song: "Formation"

 

 

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9. The Tragically Hip

The Tragically Hip is Canada's band. I'm pretty sure that upon entry to our country, you are required to make a statement of declaration saying that you will listen to at least five Tragically Hip songs within the week. And given that they're mainstays on the radio thanks to CanCon laws, you won't have a hard time doing so.

But is the music any good? Well, absolutely. They wouldn't make it so far on my list if it wasn't. What I appreciate about The Tragically Hip, and Gord Downie in particular, are the storytelling abilities. The Tragically Hip are not just Canada's band by fame. They get there due to their keen understanding of this country, and their songwriting capturing the aesthetic of the country to a T. It really makes you feel like a Canadian listening to them, just as something by Tom Petty feels quintessentially American. This band is full of so many weird quirks, yet they remain a staple on Canadian radio to this day because people can't get enough of them.

I posted my Top 10 Tragically Hip songs in honour of Gord Downie, who had then been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and was in the middle of his last tour. Gord knew what it meant to be a good Canadian. He was smart and savvy, and had a heart of gold. He was always looking to highlight issues in Canada, particularly within indigenous communities, even up to his death. I only wish I got to see these guys in concert before he died. I did watch the final concert on TV and it was amazing. The energy, the performance, the effort. Canada loves this band. And I do too. They are the best musical representation of the country, for me. Canada was lucky to have these guys around.

Best Song: "Bobcaygeon"

 

 

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8. U2

U2 gets a lot of shit for being preachy. But I have to imagine the majority of that comes from Bono himself. Not even his music, just his admittedly obnoxious personality. But if you take a step back and look at the music, it is stunning just how well U2 holds up. Even in a decade as immediately dated as the 80s, they stand out by sticking to their principles and morals, and making the music they want to, which comes off timeless even today. And say what you will about Bono; he is a hell of an emphatic singer. He puts ultimate power into any mood he's trying to convey, which admittedly most of the time seems to be anguished rage. But he sells it well. And The Edge's guitar licks are consistently some of the most simultaneously hard-hitting and soothing sounds in music. They're just a great band. I think they deserve a hell of a lot more respect than they get. You go back to any one of their albums in the 80s and it's just fire-in-your-belly hard rock. You look at Achtung Baby and it's probably one of the best transformations this side of David Bowie. I've loved U2 since I was a kid, and unlike other bands that I loved during that time, they never got embarrassing or unbearable for me. Just more awesome.

Best Song: "Acrobat"

 

 

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7. Kanye West

Speaking of obnoxious personalities… so much has been said about Kanye West's escapades and controversies, which I personally find deeply uninteresting at this point. At some point it feels like punching down, like we're just making fun of this guy who clearly has serious mental health issues. So let's instead focus on why he became such a superstar to begin with: because he makes damn good music.

Find me an artist more positively influential on the rap scene today than Kanye West. You can't, because he's done so much over the past two decades of his relevance. He's an amazing producer, probably one of the best ever in the business. And he is a very emotional rapper. Even if his lyrics get a little "out there" at points, they are undeniably Kanye. He accomplishes the most important goal as a rapper, which is that you couldn't picture his words coming from anyone else. He is probably the biggest personality in hip hop, for better or for worse. And when it comes to his music and memorability, it's definitely for the better. Point is, there is simply no other artist on the planet like Kanye West. Yeah, he's egotistical, but he's earned it, and he's earned a place in hip hop fame, and he's more than earned a Top 10 spot on this list. There's only one Kanye. Because I don't think the world would be ready for two.

Best Song: "Jesus Walks"

 

 

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6. Kendrick Lamar

What is there left to say about Kendrick Lamar? It's such a cliché to even talk about him at this point. He saved rap music, he's the only good rapper, yada yada yada. Old head opinions aside, Kendrick Lamar is such a stunning presence in the hip hop world. It really feels like he rips the curtain away and really shows you what's going on in Black communities, all while being enough of a personality to garner mainstream attention. It's been so difficult for me to talk about hip hop over the years, because, let's face it. I am not the target demographic. And especially at the start of last decade, I was in way over my head trying to understand what made the rap artists of the day popular and why people like them. I still don't! I'm a white dumbass, leave me alone.

But I still know what I like. And though it took me a while to warm up to Kendrick Lamar's weird deliveries, now I can't imagine my life without his music. Because even though it's mainly centred around issues that I can't begin to understand through firsthand experience, I understand mental health. And I understand the anguish that you go through when you feel like you have to prove yourself to so many people, but feel like you're falling short every time. That's the real pathos and energy I get from his work. Kendrick is such an amazing writer and performer; I can't think of a song of his where I felt like he totally dropped the ball. Some questionable choices maybe here and there, but the emotion and the energy always shines through. Kendrick Lamar is my favourite rapper, and I'm sure I'm not alone in that opinion.

Best Song: "u"

 

 

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5. Stevie Wonder

Stevie Wonder is like if God himself came down from Heaven and started recording music. And no, I don't mean Danny DeVito. It is impossible to describe how much joy a Stevie Wonder song gives me. He's had the gift ever since he was a child, releasing that "Fingertips" song in 1963 to rousing  success. And he just got better and better through the 60s and 70s. And despite his generally sunshiny demeanour, he also had a hell of an acid tongue when necessary. He wasn't afraid to get righteously pissed and put it into his music. And he managed to do this while still making it danceable as well. That's something that most can't do for more than one song before flaming out, but Stevie Wonder found a way. He was almost guaranteed to appear in a Top 10 every time he hit the Hot 100 for two decades. And even though he considerably fell in quality in the 80s, he was still a nice guy to keep around and "Part-Time Lover" is still a jam. He's just someone you're wired to like; his overall personality and knack for great songwriting make him a mainstay in the music conversation. Nothing but respect for this man, truly one of the greatest talents in music history.

Best Song: "You Haven't Done Nothin'"

 

 

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4. Green Day

What was the first album you bought? Who am I kidding, half of you have probably never bought an album. Look at me showing my age. Uh, anyway. For me, it was Green Day's American Idiot. Probably the first time I really started to appreciate a band. And indeed, they exceeded my expectations with that album. An amazing rock opera from beginning to end. But I still wasn't cognizant of their earlier stuff. Eventually, I checked it out and now Green Day stands tall as one of my all-time favourite bands.

Green Day is the snot-nosed punk group everyone can appreciate. They have a flawless run of albums through the 90s, and went in different directions in the 2000s to great success as well. Warning is actually my favourite album by them, which is not an opinion held by many. But it was the perfect chance to show off their versatility after a decade of familiarity, and they pulled it off beautifully. Tons of hidden gems on that album, for real. This paved the way for them to really experiment with albums like American Idiot and 21st Century Breakdown, both of which are also excellent. Green Day's music always feels righteous, purposeful, and meaningful, no matter what they're singing about, even if it's jerking off from boredom. The rhythm section is unbelievable, just the perfect example to back up Billie Joe Armstrong and hold the listener's interest.

Yes, it's true they fell off HARD in the past ten years or so, probably even more than Weezer. I dare not mention their PURE UNCUT ROCK phase last year, which made them come off like sad old grandpas more than anything. But there's simply way too much for me to love about Green Day to not justify a spot for them in the Top 5. They were one of the first bands I ever became a fan of. I bought and listened to all their 90s albums and loved every single one of them. I'm still looking for hidden gems, even in projects that overall miss the mark. They're just a fun band to keep around. They make me happy. It also helps that green is my favourite colour, so they had a leg in the door to begin with.

One of the first things I bought music-related, even before the Green Day album, was a Green Day poster. It was the first poster of any kind I had, and it found a place on my bedroom door as a symbol of quite possibly the first band I ever fell in love with. I don't care how hard they fell off, that's a feeling you simply cannot take away from me. Green Day are simply a band forever etched into my psyche. My blood is type Billie Joe Positive. And I will keep listening to their all-time classic records for years and years to come.

Best Song: "Misery"

 

 

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3. Prince

Prince is the ultimate pop star. He is unmatchable in personality, talent, creativity, and musicianship alike. It is simply not enough to write about why Prince is so amazing, and if this were an objective list of, like, the best artists, Prince would be #1 without a doubt. I don’t think anyone even comes close to being purely as great a musician as Prince, at least in the mainstream. But this is my personal list, and I came to Prince a bit later than my Top 2, so at #3 he sits. But really, for how late I came to him, his spot at #3, over Green Day, a band I've loved unconditionally since childhood, is a major accomplishment.

We will never get a Prince ever again. The Weeknd serves as a great Michael Jackson replacement. There is no Prince replacement. It's impossible. When I think 80s pop, I think Prince. He revolutionized funk, pop, R&B, soul, and rock music to make it his own, and his personality through his music and outside of it is simply infectious. It's impossible not to appreciate the guy at least a little. I can't think of one person who doesn't like Prince. If you find them, please don't let me know.

Prince is essentially David Bowie in his final form, a musical virtuoso larger than life and able to swing from genre to genre. What elevates him above Bowie for me is that sometimes I find Bowie's performances slightly detached-sounding, which is part of the aesthetic and nothing wrong with that, necessarily. But you'd never find that problem with Prince. He oozes passion and soul. Every note he sings, he completely means it. He is the perfect example of what a superstar looks and sounds like.

Losing Bowie and Prince in the same year was mind-boggling to me. Two of the greatest musical talents who ever lived, gone. But Prince's death absolutely knocked the wind out of me. I felt almost detached from reality for a few days. There's just no way Prince could be gone. It was unbelievable. And it was then that I realized how lucky I was to live in a world where he did exist. Where he put on the greatest Super Bowl performance of all time. Where he churned out classic song after classic song without ceasing. The personality, the legend. The prince of music.

I only wish I could have seen him live in concert. But he will live on forever in music fame, and he deserves it. Prince is an eternal treasure.

Best Song: "Darling Nikki"

 

 

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2. Aerosmith

Aerosmith are 70s rock for me. Grimy, grungy, unwashed, 70s rock. This is stuff that was recorded in a basement with all different kinds of rodents running through. Rats in a cellar, if you will. Aerosmith feel like the most real picture of what living as a rock star in the 70s was actually like: Drugged-up, dirty, but able to tear the roof off with every performance. Of all the bands my parents grew up with, this is the one that sticks with me the most. Every song of theirs, you can picture yourself in the crowd, watching them live, broken beer bottles and Mary Jane littering the air.

There's just something captivating about the way Steven Tyler leans into all of his songs with such gusto. Even when they got a little goofier in more recent decades, Steven Tyler always seems like he's having the time of his life performing. It makes you want to root for the band wherever they go, and even though the 70s was clearly the best time for them, I think they held their own for decades to come and can still rock pretty hard today. I saw them around six years ago, they were still amazing and killed their live performance. Like they haven't missed a step after all these years.

Whenever I think of a rock n' roll band, Aerosmith is the first one that comes to mind. They have such an extensive catalog of classic songs and albums, and it all holds up to this day despite being etched very firmly in the 70s. I don’t know how unpopular this opinion is today, but I hold Steven Tyler up there with the rock gods. He is simply a captivating presence on stage and off, and has enough of a sense of humour to keep things interesting after all these years. Sweet, emotional, but will melt your face off given the opportunity. Awesome.

Best Song: "Nobody's Fault"

 

 

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1. Red Hot Chili Peppers

The #1 pick for this list is one that shouldn't be made lightly, especially if I'm giving it the weight of it forming my general opinions on music for years to come. I hemmed and hawed, paced and pondered, dithered and dathered over who deserves the spot. And I'll be honest: I could probably see anyone from Bowie onward having a chance at the #1 spot. It was tough to order these last 12 or so. I could come up with an argument for each of them to sit upon the highest part of the podium.

But, in the end, what will stick with me the longest? What will I still be listening to, not years, but decades to come? What will be the soothing sounds on my deathbed? And for me, it has to be Red hot Chili Peppers. They're just too iconic in my life to ignore. And they deserve my #1 spot.

I think it started when I heard "Suck My Kiss" and "Around the World" back to back. I was certainly aware of the Chili Peppers up to that point. I had heard the occasional song on the radio, "Under the Bridge" over and over. But I had never heard these two songs before, from two different albums spanning the 90s. And I think this was the band that genuinely got me interested in music. Sounds crazy, right? Red Hot Chili Peppers? Not exactly the most highbrow or intellectual of groups, or even necessarily creative. But something about them just clicked with me, and I knew I had to listen to both Blood Sugar and Californication right away. They both slap to this day, as does their double album Stadium Arcadium. As does pretty much everything they've released. Even their oft-forgotten One Hot Minute I think is massively underrated. They just hit a certain vibe with me, one that is carefree and coasting. I feel like I'm sailing down a California highway whenever I listen to them, and I've never even been to Cali!

Some things are just not fully explainable in words. The Red Hot Chili Peppers being my #1 is not going to win me any Pulitzers or notoriety. But it's my choice. And I can simply say that I have not yet found a Chili Peppers song that doesn't instantly improve my mood. Not one. I really got into them once I entered my teens, and they've pretty much been my favourite band since then. So it only stands to reason that they still hold that spot in my heart today. Disagree? I'd love to see your list and compare. But the Chili Peppers stay put at the top of mine. I was fortunate enough to see them in concert a few years back, and I hope to be fortunate enough to do it again someday. That's my list, peace out.

Best Song: Nope. Sorry. Can't do it. Tell ya what. You think of YOUR favourite Red Hot Chili Peppers song, and that is my favourite Chili Peppers song. Peace.

 

THANK YOU EVERYONE, THIS BIG DUMB PROJECT IS OFFICIALLY OVER. I could not, and would not have kept going without your continued encouragement and support, and I'm happy that it has finally concluded triumphantly. Much love to you all, and remember, fuck Paul Anka.

[Katniss]

This project was such a joy to follow and read about. Thanks for sharing your favorite musicians and why they’re so special to you
 

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[kev]

nice list

 

[Steel Sponge]

It has been such a long one, but this project albeit had a very good run. It was great seeing all of those who have made your all-time list, and I know at some later point, I'm going to have to do one of my own (like you've suggested that I can feel free to show my list), which of course, is going to take me lot more time before I feel that I have a versatile list for the next few years or so.

also one of my absolute favorite RHCP songs aside from the usual "Under the Bridge" and "Californication" is "My Lovely Man" so I may as well assume that's one of yours.

[Jjs Goodman]

great list, and it's kinda surreal to me this thread has reached the end of its journey, I'll never forget it 

godspeed son, and never forget pat monahan's untrimmed chest in your future endeavors