Metal Snake Posted January 27, 2018 Share Posted January 27, 2018 Like OMJ, I got nothing. We totally killed that, that was the perfect preparation for the finale. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Jinjo Posted February 6, 2018 Author Popular Post Share Posted February 6, 2018 (edited) Well...at long last, here is the long awaited series finale to Riffing Theater, with a look at what originated this theater in the first place. Thanks to everyone who has viewed and helped riff over the years. It's been real. One-Shots 4. Some SOF Talk Show Claps Found (SBC Theater 4000) Spoiler 101: Some SOF Talk Show Claps Found [Jjs: It's hard to believe, but this is it everyone. Not only is this my last opening riff, but this is also the last one shot, and most importantly, our final Riffing Theater riff. And what a fitting way to conclude it by riffing what inspired Riffing Theater and riffing in general on SBC: the pilot for SBC Theater 4000, which happened to be riffing "SOF's Talk Show", an old work from his tv.com blog. Yup, not only are we riffing SBC Theater 4000, but our final riff is also another SOF work. There technically was more of SOF's Talk Show before this, but much like Total Toon Island, it has been lost to tv.com's staff. Whoops. But yes, we're concluding the run with a riff of a riff from 2011, which may cause a time paradox, but OH WELL, we've dealt with crazier. I felt there was no better way to end it, so let's make this riff a hell of a final ride, comrades! I've left lots of room for everyone. To make things come full circle even more, we even have three of the original four riffers from the SBC Theater 4000 pilot (Wumbo, Clappy & Metal), who I'm sure can find new material. They can also riff their past selves if they want, and others can as well. Really, just do whatever the hell you want for this, you can treat this as any old riff or make special callbacks to our past. Go wild.] [Wumbo: What? What? What? What? What? This better be about pizza.] [Clappy: Oh yeah, I remember that time SOF played the role of Jimmy Fallon, which then lead to him playing the role of Nostalgia Critic years later. Let's see if this blast from the past leads to a future spin-off based off a recurring segment too.] [Hayden: SOF has been a talk show host, a critic, a news reporter, a co-host of Jeopardy, a donor, a meme inventor, and a writer with a 3/4 success rate of his works winding up on Riffing Theater 3000. It's fair to say SOF is having a profession identity crisis. #Relatable ] [Metal Snake: I knew this day would finally come...IT’S TIME FOR US TO RIFF SOF’S POST HISTORY! So in preparation for this daunting task, let’s start all the way back from the very beginning, shall we?] [SOF: Oh man, my old lulzy tv.com talk show where I apparently thought I was Jimmy Fallon, despite not even watching any talk shows. I honestly feel honored (no speech though) another odd work of mine is the final riff, in a riff of a riff. I wish I had riffed this with the original SBC Theater 4000 crew, so it's great I finally get a chance. Dark Side of the Herd and ATTWL 3 I still regret more since I don't really consider this a true writing of mine. It was just something I wrote on my tv.com blog out of boredom and wasn't meant to be a spin-off or literature. One day, I was at a loss for something to write on my blog. So, as any bored kid would, I viewed the Nick.com message boards. I got the idea for a blog about a talk show involving SpongeBob characters, thus birthing "SOF's Talk Show". Fitting how our One-Shots started and ended with works that were on tv.com blogs. Like jjs said, there was more before this one, but I honestly don't remember anything about them, which is for the best. Now then, let's get to it, folks!] [Fred: We're riffing another riffing series? Ooh, how zen. Maybe someday, I'll make my own riffing theater where I riff "Jjs' Riffing Theater 3000" and call it "Fred's Riffing Theater 5000". A man can dream though, can he?] [JCM: So we're riffing riffs now? It's the moment I've always feared: Riffception!] SOF: Hello everyone, today is the season 1 finale and we have a special guest for you. [SOF: Oh goody, because I have my own special guest cameo for this finale.] [Rarity: That's not special at all! And the host has horrible fashion! Hmph! *leaves*] Past Claps: It better be Jimmy Two-Shoes or "we" riot! [Hayden: ] [Clappy: Thanks me for reminding me that Jimmy Two-Shoes was a thing.] [SOF: Oh yeah, I also completely forgot I was obsessed with that crappy Canadian series. That's what happens when you're young. I like how both Kid vs. Kat and Jimmy Two-Shoes of all things somehow come back from obscurity in our final riffs.] [Fred: If it's any cartoon character, it's Kick Buttowski. Or Assy McGee. Or Beavis and Butt-head.] Past Luke: That's a good introduction to a spin-off, a run-on sentence. We're in trouble. [Metal Snake: That’s a good first riff, nitpicking someone’s grammar. We’re in trouble.] [Fred: Past Luke is a grammar Nazi.] [JCM: Nitpicking people's grammar isn't funny? There went my whole routine.] *scene cuts to audience* [Audience: Boo.] [Hayden: ] Squidward: "SpongeBob, why am I here?" [Hayden: That's an excellent philosophical question, Squidward. I'll give you the most concrete answer that can be given right now. When a mama squid loves a daddy squid very much, they wrap their tentacles together and.....] Past Claps: Good question Squidward. Unless SpongeOdd lives underwater, both of you would be dehydrated by now. [Fred: Does that make him "SpongeCodFan" now?] [Clappy: Who says you can teach an old riff new tricks? Classic.] [Jjs: A very good point Ghost of Past Clappy, that will never be addressed. Unless Squidward and SpongeBob have water helmets on, but that's not clear at all, so...] [Wumbo: Don't think it's too far-fetched to assume that SOF got an air helmet and went underwater. I don't think that's what happened, I'm just trying to give benefit of the doubt where I can.] [SOF: Unfortunately, not even I remember the setting of this other than "some studio". I guess this plot hole is best left to interpretation.] Spongebob: "Because Squidward, I want you to see the show!" [Fred: Well, I sure hope that show is not Riffing Theater 4000. Somebody in the future should make a series like that that isn't shitty.] Past Wumbo: "And I cut your cable and everyone else's in Bikini Bottom, so the only way to see the show is to appear on it! Now stop asking stupid questions." [SpongeBob: And now Squidward, I want you to see the riffs of the riffs of a show within a show. How meta. *sips tea*] [SOF: Thanks for the gesture, bland SpongeBob. Too bad he doesn't appear again after this line, making this appearance...pointless. Yes, SpongeBob SquarePants couldn't even stay for more than one line. Maybe this also had a 20 dollar budget.] *Squidward groans*: "Stupid show." [SOF: As much as I agree with that sentiment, why did he even go to the show? It's not like I held him against his will to attend...at least I don't think I did, but considering Critic SOF, maybe I did kidnap both him and SpongeBob. Let's go with that. I just hope they got paid well.] [Squidward: Stupid show! You make me look bad!] [Jjs: *Squidward groans* is my new favorite character.] [JCM: I don't know. Loud and clear Squidward is giving him a run for his money. I know it's nitpicking grammar, but it's all I knooow. ] [Wumbo: Squidward's groan, who goes to 1,000 talk shows a year, is an outlier and should not have been counted.] Past Luke: I know how you feel, Squidward. Trust me, I know. [*Metal Snake groans*: Stupid past self. This is the best material you could come up with?] [Hayden: Seriously, that's the best current Luke could come up with? *etcetera etcetera, chain of riffs like this until the end of time and space*] Past Claps: I hear you loud and clear Squidward. SpongeBob's reasoning is piss poor and you should have just not listened to him like you usually do. Otherwise you would look out of character. Like so… SOF: "Please welcome Squilliam Fancyson!" [SOF: Of course, Squilliam just has to rub his nose into everything. Yes, this is the special guest I kidnapped against their will, everyone! I basically only added him for "drama" since it was the season finale and he's Squidward's rival. Too bad that drama goes nowhere.] Past Luke: Yeah, don't worry about the lack of commas and grammar errors folks. There's only a hundred more in this episode. [Wumbo: There... isn't a grammar error here? It's not like you need to HUNT to find grammatical errors in an SOF spin-off. Surely there was a better place to do this.] [Clappy: There should be a comma between "welcome" and "Squilliam", but even then, I know I've made that mistake plenty of times. We all have.] [Metal Snake: Forgive me, I was young and anal. A bad combination since it just made me come off as a juvenile ass.] [Hayden: Commakaze! In fairness though, commas are what Jjs edits in my riffs more than anything else. They can feel really superfluous.] [Fred: Yeah, don't worry about the lack of the comma in "errors", folks. See, I can nitpick just like you do!] [SOF: Don't worry about any grammar errors in this, folks, since those are sadly far from the biggest problem in this.] Squidward: "WHAT?! [JCM: ?!!??!!!] [Jjs: PLEASE WELCOME SQUILLIAM FANCYSON!] [Squilliam: "I AM the father!"] [Hayden: Fancy father, fancy son.] [Clappy: SERENITY NOW!] [Metal Snake: OH NO, SHE DIDN’T!] *Squilliam enters* [SOF: *cue crowd chanting his name*] [Fred: *does another Kramer-like slide in*] [Jjs: *cue laugh track*] [Clappy: *cue crowd going wild*] [Wumbo: *Seinfeld bassline*] [Metal Snake: *cue obnoxious whistling*] [JCM: *cue raising of cue cards*] [Hayden: *cue Total Drama Aftermath screen that drops down and starts highlighting key recap events and dirt in the Squidward/Squilliam feud*] Squilliam: "Hello everybody!" [SOF: Hi, Dr. Nick!] [Jjs: SQUILLY SQUILLY SQUILLY!] Squidward: "Hold it!" Past Elastic: No, firmly grasp it! [Past Elastic: *strikes microphone through Squidward's hand*] [Wumbo: No, SOILED IT!] [SOF: THE LID!] [Metal Snake: STOP! WAIT A MINUTE!] [Hayden: That's gonna hurt in the right now.] [Fred: Hold it! SpongeBob reference!] *everyone gasps* [SOF: Look at this "drama". Tv.com blog ratings gold, amirite?] Past Luke: Dear God, he interrupted someone! What's our world coming to?! [JCM: Off with his head!] [Hayden: ] Past Claps: Because if we had an audience member overreact like that, he would so not be taken out by security by now. [Wumbo: I think all of us might have missed that SOF was doing an intentional parody of these over-the-top talk shows and their over-the-top audience. Sometimes we gotta give the guy some credit. Of course, "cart-like catapult" still invades my thoughts so there's that.] [Clappy: Yeah, SOF did remind us time and time again back from 2009 to 2014 how much he wanted a hit spin-off/literature on both sites. So as annoying as this was in hindsight, the self-awareness is already here this early on. Granted that thought might change the deeper we sink our teeth into this. Oh and thanks Wumbo for reminding me of the "cart-like catapult" just when I thought I got that out of my head.] [SOF: I don't think I was intentionally trying to parody talk shows since I didn't watch any when I wrote this, but this is definitely a bad attempt at drama. Oh and funny you mention the cart-like catapult, considering what this "builds" up to (pun intended)...] [Metal Snake: Coming from someone who has grown very tired of the “IT’S SATIRE!” defense, I agree that we should’ve treated this as a parody. It’s a very flawed parody, obviously, but it only makes the criticism we intended to be serious back then look worse in the end.] [Hayden: SOF is a jokester. Context, critical thinking, and understanding of who is writing are factors you look dense for if you ignore. SOF must've blended in with the Nathan's of his TV.com days to be pounded on like this.] Squilliam: "What's the matter Squiddy?" [JCM: The Matter Squiddy is the most dangerous Squiddy.] [Hayden: SquidLivesMatter.] [Squidward: Well for starters, don't call me "Squiddy".] Squidward: "I don't think that's your plan!" Past Luke: Plan? What plan? [Hayden: ] Past Wumbo: Where did he say he had a plan? Unless "Hello everybody" is code for something, like "I plan to kill Squidward, bury him in an unmarked grave, and dance the Charleston on it." Past Claps: What plan? The plan to get interviewed by SpongeOdd? How diabolical! [Wumbo: Okay, first off, good job all of us for doing the same riff. Second, what in God's name was I smoking when I said that?] [Clappy: Yeah, I remember Elastic's set up back in the day that we weren't able to see what the other riffers were riffing. At least the set up is better now, but still...what plan?] [SOF: Yup, this is where the biggest issue comes into play: the talk show's lulzy pacing. I feel like I completely miswrote this line, because nothing so far indicates he had any plan. But what plan for the 100th time.] [Metal Snake: “Now here’s the plan, see?”] [Fred: The plan was to recycle the same riffs that other people made. How diabolical!] Squilliam: "Oh of course not! I wasn't here to be interviewed. Instead, I'm here to tell everybody your deepest, darkest secrets!" [Hayden: ] [SOF: At this point, I wanted to add "drama" for the season finale in hopes my tv.com blog would get lots of views. In hindsight, this "drama" goes nowhere, since spoiler alert, the "deepest, darkest secrets" are never revealed. Hooray for bait and switches!] Past Claps: Like I said...diabolical… [Metal Snake: “I’m going to show them an embarrassing picture of you at a Christmas party!”] [JCM: Good thing the talk show people didn't do their jobs and vet Squilliam or this might have been prevented.] [Fred: Oh no..... Squilliam is gonna tell the world about their secret relationship!] Squidward: "YOU WANT TO WHAT?! [Jjs: I'M HERE TO TELL EVERYBODY YOUR DEEPEST, DARKEST SECRETS! Squidward really needs hearing aids.] [Wumbo: YER A WIZARD HARRY! I'M A WOT??] [Hayden: If Squidward knew the other unspecified thing wasn't Squill's plan, why is he so shocked by the real plan?] [SOF: I was trying to make Squidward come off "dramatic" with his all caps questionings, but instead he's coming off like a confused old man who walked onto the wrong show set.] Past Wumbo: I want to make sure that you use quotation marks at the end of your sentences. If that means revealing to the world that you have 'shrinkage', so be it. [Wumbo: References! Really awkward references. Say, judging by some of my riffs here, I haven't changed a bit. Still better than when I spent half the riff jerking off to Kate Upton.] [Clappy: I love Seinfeld references as much as the next guy, but this one doesn't work for me.] [Squilliam: “You heard me right, I’m showing them the one with the bubbles!”] SOF: "Not so fast! [JCM: is what my girlfriend told me after i smashed her last night] [Hayden: JCM, that's hot.] [Jjs: Enjoy this line while it lasts ladies and gentlemen, because this'll be the only time this doesn't want to go "fast".] I have a better idea, why don't we have a challenge here? [SOF: Here's a better idea, how about slowing down?] The 1st one to make a successfully working invention becomes the Best Squid! [Clappy: What a transition, Mark.] [Fred: Obviously Sam from Rocket Power is Best Squid but whatever.] [Hayden: What? Why not something related to music? Phineas and Ferb has music while Squidward/Squilliam have never picked up a tool in their lives.] Past Wumbo: What is this, SOF's ADHD hour? [Wumbo: Y- Y'know what, I have nothing to say to this. Apologies to people with ADHD everywhere.] [Clappy: Yikes.] [Hayden: ] [Metal Snake: Okay, now here’s a part where I’ll do what my past self was mostly negligent in doing, not only in gently offering constructive criticism, but also timing constructive criticism. What kept me from commenting on this right away back in the day, I have no clue, because this is the first line that shows the show’s first major problem, pacing. I know this is TV.com era writing, but introducing a contest element into this out of nowhere is still just sloppy. I feel like this was just throwing in a Phineas and Ferb reference for the sake of it.] [JCM: What better way to determine who the best squid is than the creation of engineering marvels without any sort of preplanning or the basic requirement of hands?] [SOF: Wow, that may be one of the most jarring plot transitions, ever. "Throwing in a Phineas and Ferb reference for the sake of it" is exactly what this was. I barely remember anything about the other lost chapters of this, but from what I recall, I randomly threw in a bunch of other cartoon characters and references, just like Total Toon Island. Speaking of forced cartoon elements...] So now I'll let Chris [Jjs: Chris who? McLean? Christie? Walken? It's Chris McLean from Total Drama for clarity, but it'd have been nice if Host SOF had told us from the very beginning. Usually when you introduce a guest star in your talk show, you say their last name so the audience isn't confused as fuck.] [Fred: Who knew that our One Shots riffs began and now end with Chris McLean? At least there's no long introductions, I hope.] [SOF: That was fast. Yup, I threw Chris McLean into this for literally no reason other than Total Drama existed. If you thought Hayden's Chris in Total Toon Island was weird, wait until you see this one.] [Wumbo: Chris? More like cruse you, true believers!] [Hayden: So this is where Chris went now that's he been kicked out of all future Total Drama projects. Downgrade.] be the one to judge your inventions and then we decide which one is better, deal?" [Fred: Yeah because Squidward and Squilliam are the inventive geniuses of the show.] [SOF: Which "we"? Chris and past me? The royal we? The audience?] Past Claps: Don't even get me started on riffing this last statement. [Clappy: Please. Start. No need to over-exaggerate.] First of all, Squilliam can still reveal those deep dark secrets without there being a challenge Second, an invention competition to become Best Squid? Pure lulz at its finest. Third, Chris McLean is being brought into this? Where did he come from? Was he the special guest? Clarity is all I ask for. [Clappy: Or in other words, explain! Then again, with the amount of SOF stories we've riffed, it's just another day to me and what I've come to expect.] Past Elastic: I wanna hear secrets, dammit! [SOF: Same here, Past Elastic. Squilliam revealing Squidward's deepest darkest secrets would've been a much more interesting premise instead of whatever this turned into. I feel like we're being robbed of actual juicy drama. The fact I abruptly changed the initial premise shows I really didn't know what I was doing with this talk show anymore...not that I did to begin with.] [Wumbo: So this is where SOF loses me. If he's going for an over-the-top talk show parody, why not run with it? It feels like he just wanted to do a goofy show, but couldn't decide which one, so he just did them all. But this comes out of nowhere and has no meaning to anything previously. Just another day riffing!] [Hayden: Who was SOF's original guest if Squidward didn't stop by? We definitely should have had a talk segment with Squilliam first because Squidward didn't make them hold anything, he just gave SOF a ratings shortcut and SOF didn't have to write any questions.] [Metal Snake: Everything above, including the riffs by Clappy’s past self, I agree with. One thing I can’t believe I never pressed further with on riffing was them competing for the title of “Best Squid” with an invention competition. Whoever makes the superior contribution to science is the superior creature. ...And that’s it. No competitions for power, agility, endurance, just intelligence. Sure.] [JCM: Maybe it's the STEM major in me, but shouldn't the contribution to science be a reward in and of itself?] [Audience member: Nerd!] [JCM: I deserved that.] Squidward & Squilliam: "Deal!" [SOF: No Deal!] [Jjs: Squidward and Squilliam? Ooh, I see this predicted Squidiam.] [Hayden: Sandy & Plankton were the only correct pair to make this deal.] [Fred: I'm sorry, but you made a bad deal. Your case had $1,000,000 in it.] Past Luke: How the-? Wha-? [Metal Snake: “They AGREED to do something ridiculous in a ridiculous show! I AM SPEECHLESS!” Oh past me, you had a long way to go when it came to suspending disbelief considering what you went on to riff after this…] Past Claps: Poor saps! They would do anything for this made up award... [Clappy: Just like you would do anything for the "likes", right Past Clappy?] [JCM: Past Clappy gets a like from this fellow.] [Hayden: Clappy's pride? What rubbish.] SOF: "Excellent! So let's begin!" [Jjs: Let's not.] [Dr. Robotnik: NO!] Past Luke: STOP! What is going on?! I don't understand this at all! First of all, how does Squilliam know Squidward's secrets? He doesn't hang around him at all, what, has he been stalking him in the dead of the night? There's no explanation. Second, what kind of talk show host would have a contest in the middle of a freaking interview? Did he have this planned in advance, did he just randomly decide to do this? And third, making inventions? Are you serious? They came here without any tools or material! [Fred: Why am I asking YOU all these questions? Mermaid Man, where are you?] [Mermaid Man: I'm right here, woman!] [Clappy: Or did they Past Metal? One thing I've learned over my time in the riffing theater is that when it comes to SOF's works, anything is possible when you pull it out of your ass.] [Metal Snake: Despite actually seeing where my past self is coming from here…] *Squidward and Squilliam are both finding and gathering up their materials to work on their inventions.* Past Luke: WHAT?! [Metal Snake: ...yeah, scroll up to my “suspending disbelief” comment. I know a lot of this “RAGE” was acted, but one of the golden rules in reading fiction is to play along.] [Hayden: I personally just think SOF had a scrap pile collected for the occasion, but the writing does make it seem like Squidward/Squilliam had to leave the talk show and go to Lowe's. Uh oh, I said the L word. *gets banned and is unable to finish browsing SOF's blog*] Past Wumbo: It's amazing how many nuts and bolts can be found backstage. Not to mention means of electricity. [Fred: You guys are all nuts and bolts.] [SOF: I'm just amazed that Host SOF managed to fit all these nuts and bolts in the 20 dollar budget.] Past Elastic: The person who wrote this WAS nuts! [JCM: ] [Wumbo: You gotta give Elastic credit here for best sounding like an actual riffer on MST3K. I wasn't familiar with the show so my comments are just observations here and there. But it's clear Elastic had a different vision for this spin-off than we had. The Nostalgia Critic-esque vibe that JRT had seems fitting for our community, but I like the different flavors of commentary present in this one.] *Squidward and Squilliam then both start working on their inventions.* [SOF: This could use some construction montage music: ] Past Wumbo: I think at this point, SpongeBob slipped off to go watch that sea anemone porn show he cherishes. [Wumbo: I mean, yeah, but... c'mon dude, you don't have to air his dirty laundry like that.] [Hayden: If we can't have Squidward's secrets, we'll take Spongebob's!] Past Luke: What the hell?! This doesn't make any sense! You can't- UGH! Never mind! The faster we get through this, the better! [Clappy: I am curious as to what "You can't- UGH!" though....] [Metal Snake: “You can- UGH! all day AND night for just seven monthly payments of $19.95!”] [Fred: War! UGH! What is it good for?] *Seven weeks later...* [SOF: Hooray for pointless Bikini Top time skips continuing to haunt us, even in the finale! Seriously though, seven weeks?! WTF?] [Fred: Once, I was seven weeks old...] [Audience Member: FRED RECHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID] [Jjs: I hope the audience got food and sleep in those seven weeks.] [SOF: I think the way I imagined this was the talk show went on a seven week hiatus, and the audience got to take a break. Of course, that's not how talk shows work at all, and I have no clue why any of them would even bother to come back for the "thrilling" outcome after that long, or how it takes seven weeks to build something, but it's better than assuming the audience were trapped there against their wills. Or maybe they were knowing past me. Another thing to leave up to interpretation!] Past Wumbo: I take back my previous comment. This is SOF's Anti-ADHD Hour. [Wumbo: You were an edgy, edgy boy, Wumbo. (Seven weeks though, really?)] [Hayden: At least that's realistic with how long Squidward/Squilliam have had to research and start over a thousand times.] Past Elastic: I had no idea talk shows lasted 7 weeks. [Clappy: They can. Ask NBC and Conan O'Brien.] [Hayden: SOF had enough money to buy out the network for 2 months.] [JCM: >realizes conan's tonight show ended eight years ago >wonders what I've been doing with my life] Past Luke: Seven weeks? What's the audience been doing this whole time? Learning a new language? Wow. I just noticed that that's a much more productive thing I could be doing rather than reading through this nonsensical mish-mash of nonsense! [Metal Snake: *chuckles* “Learning a new language”. How sweetly naive I was back then. It’s obvious they were doing something much more dastardly to kill time, like watching another talk show by Jimmy Fallon.] [Hayden: The audience has been watching counter-programming and/or reruns of SOF's favorite shows that he has put up on the monitor. Either way, SOF's going into debt if he can't collect enough advertising/sponsor revenue.] Squidward & Squilliam: "Alright SOF, we are all finished, now take a look at our inventions! [JCM: You can say that again.] [SOF: Damn, did they plan that? I think their creepy unison speaking is more interesting than whatever they built.] [Hayden: Well aren't you two a lot like unsettling twin characters. ] Past Claps: Oh good lord. I feel sorry for the "audience". Sitting in that studio for seven weeks doing nothing. Oh wait that's right, they are watching Squidward and Squilliam invent. They must be piss poor at inventing for it to take seven weeks. [Clappy: Okay guys, but delayed riff here seven years late...what the hell were they suppose to be inventing in the first place that would take seven weeks?] [Hayden: Past Claps should put the invention where his mouth is.] [SOF: Inventor's block is one tough roadblock.] [Metal Snake: While spending seven weeks taking part in an invention contest is absurd, I can’t get bothered by it after suffering through two characters spending thirty years staring at a piece of pizza. Yes, I am implying that this is still better than Teen Titans Go.] Squidward & Squilliam: "Alright SOF, we are all finished, now take a look at our inventions!" [JCM: You can say that again.] [Jjs: We heard you the first time, unless SOF didn't.] [Hayden: One of them would finish early or finish later. Since SOF clearly didn't insert a deadline to have it ready by, this is the most contrived timing coincidence in Riffing's 294 chapter history.] [SOF: Deja vu. This is why proofreading is handy, even though I'm not sure how I pasted that twice. Or maybe Host SOF really did need to hear it twice, which wouldn't surprise me.] [Wumbo: They just wanted to show off their ability to speak in unison again.] [Clappy: It's like they can finish each other's.] [Clappy: Sandwiches.] [Fred: I think they probably invented one of those watches from The Fairly Oddparents that sends you 10 seconds back in time. That's the only credible explanation I can think of.] [Cosmo: RE-DO!] [Fred: That's the only credible explanation I can think of. Wait, what just happened?] SOF: "Okay Chris, you're the judge, observe their inventions and determine which one is better." [SOF: Why can't you do this yourself, jerk?] Past Wumbo: Ah. All is right with the world. [Wumbo: ...what?] [SOF ...wat?] [Fred: Yeah, what in God's name were you smoking there anyways?] Past Elastic: Who's Chris? [Fred: Chris Brown, obviously. We couldn't get Jason Derulo to judge because we still have dignity.] [JCM: Everybody hates Chris.] [Hayden: Total Drama fanbase really does. I'm convinced their complaints killed him. Can't handle a little sadism, smh.] Past Luke: You know, I just realized this spin-off's most fatal flaw. Can you guess what it is? The ridiculous plot? No. The speling errors? No. The characters not acting in character? No. The lack of any sort of logic, reason, rationality, science, physics, order, consistency, or reality whatsoever! No! It's the PACE. This story goes by too fast! There's not a single moment where the plot takes a break to develop a scene or explain anything! It's rushed beyond belief! If you want to have a good story, you need to take your time and develop the plot with care and patience. Not force everything to go at speeds unknown to man! [Wumbo: I'm going to write off "speling errors" as intentional and instead point out that this comment pointing out pacing problems is pretty poorly paced.] [Hayden: Actually, 7 weeks is a speed known to man.] [Metal Snake: Thank God I stopped taking after the Nostalgia Critic. It’s coming back to me now, I waited on sinking my critical claws into this until more towards the end because I thought it would fit better with the “Nostalgia Critic style of reviewing”. Yes, I agree that the pacing and storytelling in this show is a rushed mess, but constructive criticism, just like comedy, has to be timed well. Truer words were never spoken by Clappy, “You’re not the Nostalgia Critic, just be yourself.”] [SOF: As much as I agree the pacing of this sucks, I also agree it's for the best we stopped copying Nostalgia Critic style riffing and found our own voices. At least this talk show died before I could force Nostalgia Critic into it.] *Chris observes their inventions.* Past Wumbo: Quite the obedient assistant, isn't he? [Wumbo: ...yep. Can someone tell me what kind of point I was trying to make with these past two riffs?] [Fred: *observes these past riffs*] [SOF: Poor Chris has nothing better to do than observe inventions. Guess that's what Total Drama hiatuses do to him.] Chris: "Okay, Squidward invented a properly working Plasma Rifle, and Squidward developed a Nuclear Fusion Machine. [Jjs: Squidward got to build two inventions? Where the hell is Squilliam's? I call bull.] [Hayden: Did Squidward put his name on Squilliam's assignment?!] [SOF: I don't even remember who actually invented what.] [Wumbo: Squidward Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. HIS NAME IS MY NAME TOOOO...] [Clappy: And the winner is Squidward. If it took him seven weeks to build two inventions, then it's clear who the winner is.] [Metal Snake: Wait, this innocent-looking stadiums hosts the resources to build nuclear technology? Hope they’re not producing bombs behind the scenes…] [SOF: Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if Host SOF had some shadier motives than we've been let on. It would explain a lot...] Now to determine the winner..." [Fred: The winner is Uncle Grandpa, show's over.] Past Luke: Wait, what's there to determine? Squidward built both inventions. [JCM: Determine which of Squidward's inventions win the game for him more.] [Hayden: Too bad the government will seize both.] Past Elastic: Maybe Squilliam invented a cloning device. [Clappy: I know Wumbo already pointed it out, but I love Elastic's MST3K character inspired riffs.] [SOF: Maybe Squilliam cosplayed as Squidward.] Past Claps: Wow, Chris must feel honored to just tell the readers what they invented. I hope he is getting paid well to stand around. [Wumbo: It worked for Ryan Seacrest.] [Clappy: It's still working for Carson Daly.] Squidward: "Hey I think I should win! I am the best inventor there is!" [Jjs: When was Squidward (and Squilliam for that matter) ever an inventor, anyways? Unless this was inventing a new musical instrument or some shit, it feels like Sandy and Plankton should've been here instead.] [Hayden: Jjs and I jinxed. Perfect unison.] [SOF: Sandy and Plankton would've made much more sense for this plot, but past me was more focused on a juicy rivalry between Squilliam and Squidward because Tv.com blog ratings gold. Even though I don't think anybody even viewed this. Job well done.] [Wumbo: I mean, two inventions for the price of one is nothing to sneeze at. Maybe Squidward's got some hidden talent.] [Clappy: Shoot, if he doesn't win this contest, he'll certainly win Bikini Bottom's Got Talent.] [Metal Snake: “Boasting will make him feel more inclined to pick me! These show biz folk adore arrogant shitheads!”] Squilliam: "Oh Silence Squiddy, its obvious I'm the clear cut winner." [JCM: Silence Squiddy is almost as dangerous a Squiddy as Matter Squiddy.] [Hayden: Squilliam will win because he didn't build an invention that will endanger everybody. Seriously, what toxic waste dump did Grunkle Squidward steal from?] Past Luke: "I'm going to win because you built the inventions, and I didn't do jackshit! Ha ha, I'm so clever!" [Hayden: ] Past Wumbo: "Well Squilliam, at least I know that 'silence' is not a proper noun." [Wumbo: Hard Hitting Commentary There] Chris: "Actually... Squidward nor Squilliam has won." [SOF: So everyone else in the room won, yourself included?] Past Claps: D'aww, no Best Squid for either of them.....:sadface: [Clappy: ...what? You could have done better than that. I know you can.] Squidward and Squilliam: "What?! Why?!" [JCM: Because?!] [Hayden: ] [Chris: The winner is Jjs for "Jjs' Riffing Theater 3000"!] [SOF: I remembered SpongeBob existed and had him build an invention out of nowhere? Honestly, that might have actually been better instead of what we're about to get. Which is sad.] Chris: "You guys both are winners! You both have created equally good inventions." [Jjs: Well I'm sure the audience will be very happy they wasted seven weeks for that "twist".] [Clappy: Or at least Squidward did.] [Hayden: You know how the phrase goes, two things are equal to none.] [SOF: We're really going with this lame cliche? Yes, sadly, I actually wrote that. This just made pretty much everything a complete waste of time. If the audience don't get any refunds, this is one diabolical con from Host SOF.] [Fred: Really? The contest ends with both of them winning? Talk about a cop-out. That's just as bad as those "twist" endings where something really major happens at the end that affects the main character and their lives and then it turns out, it's all a dream. Man, those endings sure are awful! Now excuse me while I go shoot myself and die. *pulls trigger and falls* *wakes up* AHH! I just had a weird dream! I was criticizing some lame, overdone "everybody wins" cliche on an SBC talk show and I killed myself! What a bizarre dream, man. So glad it wasn't real though. Now where am I with them SBC riffs?] Past Elastic: What did they create exactly? This shitty talk show? Past Wumbo: "In other words, neither of you gave me enough bribe money to justify a winner. You had seven weeks, assholes! SEVEN WEEKS!" [Hayden: Maybe the rich Squilliam should have at least been shown doing that if he couldn't build an invention.] Past Luke: You did it. You went to the lowest common demoninator and made the contest end in a tie. You are incredible. You really are. Spin-off, you deserve a FUCKING AWARD for the incredible amount of disappointment you have brought upon to any poor soul reading this! SHAME ON YOU, SPIN-OFF! SHAME ON YOU! [Wumbo: This isn't the only time this happened, obviously, but the way we would get into histrionics over spin-offs is definitely Nostalgia Critic-inspired, even as early as here.] [Metal Snake: Again, even though my “RAGE” was just a joke, it, like this twist, is lame. Yelling and paraphrasing NC for the sake of it does not equal humor. I feel like I probably owe some responsibility for SOF’s Exciting Critic Corner now…] [Hayden: Yeah, Past Metal Snake's rants are rambly and don't come off like earnest frustration.] [Fred: You're right, Metal Snake. Not funny + not funny = NOT FUCKING FUNNY! *wakes up* AHH! I had another weird dream where I turned into The Nostalgia Critic! Maybe this is a sign. Maybe I should stop smoking marijuana before I go to sleep.] Squidward: "What? I don't get it, this makes no sense." [Jjs: Accurate.] [SOF: Oh Squidward, this is far from the only thing to not make sense.] Squilliam: "I don't get it either, where's my trophy?" [Jjs: *throws the user Trophy at*] [Hayden: Your trophy is in another castle.] [SOF: Considering you apparently didn't even build an invention, I'm not sure why you expected a trophy, silly Squilly.] [Clappy: Here you go: "For Doing Absolutely Nothing Longer Than Anyone Else - Squilliam Fancyson"] [Metal Snake: Do you two have butter in your ears? You tied. You both won last place!] [JCM: First place in my heart though. <3] Chris: "You guys, the whole secret to this contest was to declare you both winners to help you realize it doesn't matter which Squid is better, its to help you realize you shouldn't be rivals and keep competing against each other, you both are fabulous inventors, and you should make up and be friends because of it. [SOF: BOO, YOU STINK!] [Fred: I still think that Sam from Rocket Power is the Best Squid.] [Hayden: THIS IS NOT CHRIS MCLEAN. THIS IS THE MOST NOT-CHRIS DIALOGUE I'VE EVER SEEN. THIS IS NOT GROOVY, MY CATS.] Past Elastic: What a fucking pussy moral. Seriously, why? [Jjs: I agree with the Ghost of Elastic, why the hell did this need a moral? Was this talk show supposed to be "educational"?] [Clappy: It is. It taught me that SOF sucked at writing morals.] [Wumbo: So we've gone from Jerry Springer to... Invention Season with SOF to Oprah. I honestly wonder if any of this was intentional on SOF's part, going from one talk show cliché to another. Kudos if true.] [SOF: Nope, I didn't even watch any other talk show at the time I wrote this. Any references are unintended. If this was meant to be "educational", then I certainly learned that boy, did I sure suck at writing Chris McLean. There's no way in hell he'd ever be this kind or give a sappy moral.] [Metal Snake: But they weren’t even inventors in the first place. Again, incredibly poor pacing.] [JCM: All I learned is that I want my money back.] [Hayden: #IWantMyChrisMcLeanBack ] [Fred: I learned that apparently, Squidward is so great at inventing things like a fuckin' Nuclear Fusion Machine. Never knew he had that in him.] Squidward: "Well I suppose he has a point." [Hayden: ] [Dr. Robotnik: NO!] [Clappy: In before Squilliam repeats the same damn thing.] Past Claps: NO HE DOESN'T! [Wumbo: GET EM] Past Luke: "That's why we set this up on the spot, made you waste seven weeks of your life, and have now probably lost hundreds of our fans." [Metal Snake: Wow, there were actually times when my brutal NC-obsessed past self was too nice. Hundreds of our fans? You’d be lucky if the grandparents of your fans who still watch live TV and use Facebook would watch this after a stunt like this.] Squilliam: "I suppose I should agree. [Jjs: I suppose I should riff this repetitive dialogue, but I suppose I shouldn't.] [SOF: Same.] [JCM: You can say that again.] [Hayden: ] but now there's a new problem, [Hayden: ] [SOF: Only now?] [Clappy: You mean this show doesn't already have enough of them?] [Metal Snake: Oh, now what? We all have our own problems to deal with, you know!] [Fred: I have a problem with this show having problems.] while we were both busy talking and not keeping an eye on our inventions, [Jjs: Subtle.] [JCM: Just subtle as a whale.] [Wumbo: "...AND AS I WAS BUSY EXPOSITIONING MY EXPOSITION AND EMPLOYING 'TELL DON'T SHOW' TECHNIQUES..."] [Squilliam: Let me finish, while we were not making sure our inventions were safe, they stayed right where we left them and everything's okay, no final act plot twist. ] I looked at them just now and saw that they are both gone! [Clappy: Don't you mean you went to look at them, but they were both gone?] [Metal Snake: Tommy Wiseau told me to read off my script like this.] [SOF: Sounds like a mystery for Scooby and the gang! I'm sure they would've been forced into this had it continued.] Someone must have snatched them away from us!" [SOF: Even in our riffing finale, Someone gets one last cameo in. What a naughty troublemaker she's been!] Past Wumbo: Perhaps the plasma rifle fused with the nuclear fusion machine. [Wumbo: That's not how that works. That's not how any of this works... except maybe in SOF's Cuckooland Hour.] [JCM: Let the science major explain science stuff, thank you. Yeah, that isn't how that works at all.] [SOF: Note: If I ever continue this, the return chapter will be called "SOF's Cuckooland Hour".] *Everyone gasps again* [SOF: Glad the audience is still alive after seven weeks.] [Hayden: Gasp is right! That's gasp with an uppercase G that ends with p the first letter in pathetic.] Past Luke: Oh no! Thanks to them not paying attention, the devices got stolen! Damn you Squidward and Squilliam! It's not like there was a bunch of people in the audience watching! [Clappy: Fair point, but they were all too busy partaking in doing everything in unison. Does that count?] [Metal Snake: Again, I’ll give credit where credit is due to my past self for catching that plot hole, even if I did forget that the audience’s only role in this show is to gasp. And survive seven weeks without food or water. They’re like the audience that laughs at Disney sitcoms except they gasp instead.] [SOF: In the audience's defense, their interest in whatever was left of this talk show was likely drained after seven weeks of nothing happening.] Past Wumbo: Fucking hell, does this audience have shortness of breath or something? [Wumbo: And now the physically ill. Yep, they'll be giving me that Nobel Peace Prize any minute now...] Past Claps: M. Night Shyamalan! What a twist! [M. Night Shyamalan: STOP SHOUTING I'M NAPPING] [Hayden: Maybe the M. Night Shyamalan jabs will die with Riffing Theater.....or when The Last Airbender 2 is released.] [Wumbo: And so began our proud tradition of beating this poor director into the ground with every stupid "twist" reveal in a spin-off. Hey, everyone liked The Sixth Sense, right?] Chris: "E Gad! What are we gonna do now SOF? We need to find out who stole their inventions." [Clappy: Has anyone pointed out how consistently out of character Chris (McLean) was in this? Or were we too busy pointing out how "bad" everything else was? E Gad.] [SOF: In addition to how out of character Chris was, my biggest issue with his appearance is that...he didn't even need to be here (!). I literally could have done the "judging" myself. I really didn't need to shoehorn him in, but my cartoon obsession got in the way of what actually mattered.] Past Wumbo: I think it was Mr. Gad's brother, TJ. Past Elastic: E Gad sounds pretty rad. [Hayden: Maybe SOF should've just made the judge Barney the Dinosaur.] [Wumbo: Ignoring probably my best line in this riff... why, exactly, do we need to find these inventions? I thought the inventions themselves were just a way of getting to the shitty moral at the end of the story. Is it really necessary to find the inventions that were never gonna be used anyway?] [Metal Snake: And now this has turned into a mystery lit? What, did you want this to become like USMI? Were the inventions a sign of you bringing a science fiction element into this?] [Fred: Ooh, a mystery! Better call up our mystery-alcoholic friend, SpongeBoy!] [SpongeBoy: Oh my dear Neptune, Gary! Another mystery!] [Gary: Meow!] [Patrick: What does the mailman have to do with this, Gary?] [Mr. Krabs: I like money! Just thought I'd let you guys know that.] [Adam: I will appear in the next SpongeBob season, Season 34!] SOF: "I know, Plot Tweest! [SOF: Shaddup, you bucket of bolts.] [JCM: kill me now fam] Past Claps: M. Night is calling his lawyers as we speak. [Clappy: And I'm calling my lawyers to sue myself for consistent copyright infringement over the last seven years.] [Wumbo: Okay, well if you were going to be compared to M. Night Shyamalan, you may as well do the meme yourself.] [Jjs: Well since Host SOF did it for us, I guess there's no need for one last cameo from Mr. Shyamalan.] [Shyamalan: Or is there? WHAT A TWIST!] [Metal Snake: Remind me to post the Robot Chicken clip.] [Fred: I swear to God, if there's another plot twist coming up, I am gonna call up Chubby Checker and we're gonna do The Twist! .....okay, that doesn't really sound much like a threat but whatever.] But this is the season finale, [SOF: That was the only reason I added this "twist". Because it was the season finale. Had to add something to make this not seem like a complete waste.] so we must first scout out and start our adventure Past Claps: SOF's Talk Show Live...on the road. [SOF: With even moar pointless cameos of your favorite animated characters, "drama" and shoddy morals! Coming soon for Stephen Colbert's throne.] [Clappy: Is it seven years too late to buy my tickets?] [JCM: They're deeply discounted due to the fact that nobody wanted them.] [Hayden: He could perform at gas stations around the globe.] on who stole the plasma rifle and Nuclear Fusion Machine in the next season of SOF's Talk Show which wil be exclusively at SBC so stay tuned!." [SOF: Nope. On the bright side, maybe this will make it on Watchmojo's Top 10 Cliffhangers. I'd normally consider that a dishonor, but it'd be fitting for this.] [Metal Snake: Lol, “exclusively”. It may as well be a Capcom exclusive.] [Clappy: Which means you can probably catch someone ripping this off on SBM too because "exclusivity" doesn't mean jackshit anymore.] [Fred: Try and stop me, SOF! *starts uploading the next episode on KimCartoon*] [Jjs: Seven years later, and this is one hell of a cliffhanger I'm disappointed we'll never see resolved. ;( I'm sure many scholars will create their own metaphorical and philosophical meanings on this ending, along with how SOF's Talk Show could've ever continued.] [Hayden: It was Spongebob, who took them to play with Patrick. The two successfully caused a nuclear crisis that eradicated Bikini Bottom and SOF's Talk Show. ] Past Elastic: It died on the way there. Past Wumbo: "Of course, if this was the premier, we wouldn't be doing jackshit for you sorry octopi." Past Claps: What a cliffhanger! Too bad we don't find out what happened...nor does SpongeOdd since he cancelled his talk show after one season. Past Luke: And that's the end of this spin-off. A cliffhanger that I am not even remotely interested in finding out, because I was not even remotely interested with this! This was bad, just bad. Nothing was entertaining, nothing made sense, everything was just terrible. [Metal Snake: And that’s the end of Jjs’ Riffing Theater 3000. Past Luke, your riffs were bad, just bad...but not everything about them was just terrible. Some parts of our commentary were still entertaining and had points I genuinely agreed with. Yeah, this is a lulzy, obviously flawed show that had some lulzy, obviously flawed riffs, but the whole thing really just makes you go, “Ah, good ol’ SBC in 2010 and 2011.”. In my experience of working with Riffing Theater, I have generally had more fun riffing shows that are bad for reasons we’re all already aware of, since it challenges me more to find original things to say, new shortcomings to comment on, and new jokes to make. That being said, I hope you can tell I had a lot of fun doing a work we had already riffed for the grand finale. I love seeing how far we’ve all come as commentators, and I feel working on this show really helped a lot of us improve both our writing as a whole and the way we read these shows as a whole. One of the big reasons Jjs’ Riffing Theater has been so much fun for me to work on is watching how it’s helped unite the community. When I look back at these projects, I remember that each one of them could never have been possible without people coming together to each provide their own unique commentary. That’s what I’ve decided Jjs’ Riffing Theater is going to be for me now that’s it ended. Memories that will last forever.] [Wumbo: What a show, and what a funktastic ride down memory lane. It's really cool to see just how many people got involved in Riffing Theater over the years, eager to tear down bad works of the past or even offer up their own works for scrutiny. Riffing Theater became an integral part of the spin-off community in its own right, and deserved every ounce of popularity it got just for being such a fun concept. It never got too personal, it was just good-natured riffing and having fun. Thanks to jjs for moving forward with this idea and for all the fun times. Until we riff again, sayonara.] [Clappy: Thank god I got one last riff in before the show ended and with the best way possible: a riff within a riff of another lulzy SOF story. And if this is the last time I get to riff with this crew, I went out having a blast as I always do. I seriously enjoyed my time in the riffing theater with so many enjoyable to riff spin-offs, personal shames, etc. This series was fun to be a part of the past nearly five years and while I don’t know if this will ever be brought back for an encore, I will never forget it. Thank you gang for putting up with my hectic workload to riff stories with you all for good laughs. Thank you for the hours upon days upon weeks upon months upon years of entertainment. And especially thank you Jjs for always considering me for these projects. Goodbye red ink until we riff once more. This is Clappy, saying goodnight sweet prince.] [Fred: Wow. What an ending. I'm gonna really miss this show when it's all said and done. Which is now. I've had a blast riffing with others terrible or lulzy shows. Really wish I joined at an earlier time when shows like SOF's Critic Corner, Squidward's Childhood, both of Wumbolo's shows, etc., etc. were riffed. I'm not much of a spin-off/lit guy, I must admit. But if there's anything I enjoy the most, it's shitting on a lot of shows, which was why I was so invested with riffing in this. I'm so glad to be a part of this experience and I'm glad I could stay until the very end. Thanks to jjs and all of the other riffers in this project who had to suffer along with me. Anything to add, Ostrich?] [Ostrich: ] [Fred: My thoughts exactly. This is Fred Rechid, saying "Peace out." (Now do I get my paycheck?)] [JCM: I already did my long ending riff last time so I'm just gonna say I'm glad we didn't all get destroyed by Riffception and I'm glad we get to go out with a good one. I tried doing a talk show parody myself a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, and like this one, most of the gags were about how "involved" the audience is. While I don't remember enjoying ATTWL 3, I actually enjoyed reading this. It certainly wasn't good, by any means, but it was still entertaining, and the riffs, especially Elastic's, were a nice touch. After four-and-a-half years of riffing on SBC, I honestly wouldn't trade the experience for anything. It gave me an opportunity to read famous works I knew about but never got around to reading before (Down Under, The Killer Krab) and works I read before but got to read again with a more critical eye (Bikini Top, SBCPU), all while writing bad jokes. Riffing Theater is an example of why the "community" part of The SpongeBob Community has been so amazing, because I doubt a project like this could have worked at most forums, and I seriously doubt it could have lasted this long if anybody other than Jjs was running it anywhere but here. I'm glad the stars aligned to make this happen, because it truly has been something special. Somehow I managed to do another long ending riff. Seems fitting for my last two episodes. Thanks to everybody who has riffed with me, laughed at our riffs, and generally kept this wild, rusty (scratch that, not rusty ) train going. Signing off one last time, JCM: Professional Riffdiot.] [Hayden: After 125 riffs, I can say that I mined so much gold from being here. This more than anything is probably why I started participating in more activities on SBC. There are so many best SBC works I've never read. Which kind of underlines the point of why we need to encourage interest back in new creations rather than do Riffing Theater for another 5 years. The period we're riffing is nearing towards a decade ago. Adult responsibilities probably mean this is where it stops, but we've been this strong of a community thus far so what's another decade? I can't tell you how many times in Riffing Theater I over-deliberated on what my maximum strongest response could be. It was a hassle, but very time I feel like I satisfied myself and my standards. I hope to keep pushing my standards and I hope I've been able to amuse more than just myself. I aim to please. ] [SOF: Yup, this was just another Past SOF work. At least this is all that remains from it. I still find DSOTH and ATTWL 3 worse because like I said, I don't consider this an official work of mine, and I barely remember anything else from the missing chapters. I also found some So Bad, It's Good value to this. Regardless though, I definitely wasn't ready to make this either, and a talk show host I am not. Still, it was fun revisiting my first sort of "spin-off" for our final riff. I know I haven't had the best writings on here with things like SECC and ATTWL 3. While there were personal problems that contributed to them, I was just not ready for either and jumped into them too fast (just like this talk show!). English isn't my first language, so I tried to do the best I could. Riffing Theater taught me many valuable lessons over the years. I want to thank Metal and jjs in particular for helping me to try to improve my writing. Even if I might suck at doing it, I'll still keep trying. Maybe someday, I'll finally get one right. Overall, Riffing Theater was an awesome and fun ride for the past five years. This was an amazing journey for me and everyone else. Despite all of the shenanigans, it really showed new and reoccurring writers how to improve their works. Use your passion to write what you actually love to write. I say thank you to jjs, everyone who helped riff over the years, and especially to Elastic for inspiring us to make JRT happen. If there's ever more riffs someday, I'll be there. At least I can still reread the riffs whenever for nostalgia. It was a great pleasure to do this group project with all of you. To cap off my riffing career, I will finally say: *Porky Pig impression* Th-th-that's really all folks! ] [Jjs: There's really nothing else for me to say on the lulziness of SOF's Talk Show, so I'll skip right to the conclusion. Alas, we've reached an end here, my friends. Yes, that was it for my Riffing Theater 3000. It's giving me a lot of weird feelings, but it is definitely sad most of all. I figured there was no better way to end Riffing Theater than to riff SBC Theater 4000, what inspired this to begin with. In many ways, Riffing Theater was a spiritual successor to it, so it felt nice to have things come full circle here. It sucked Elastic couldn't continue it past this riff, so I'm glad we got to continue it in a way. I don't think there was any other better way to end this, honestly. As for the series as a whole, it was one hell of a crazy rollercoaster. We saw the literal definitions of "what the fuck" in Eddsworld Meets SpongeBob, Childhood Deleted with SpongeBob, World of Gloves and What Happens on Conch Street, the absolute snorefests that were Patty Daddy and SOF's "Exciting" Critic Corner, The Room of SBC that was And Then There Were Less 3.0, the poor aging of Down Under, Bikini Top and SBC Parallel Universe, some of our riffers' own personal shames in Life of Larry the Krab, SpongeBoy! Get a Clue, Bikini Bottom High, Ruty's Rapping Rampage, SBC: Investigation & Prosecution, Can You Please Past the Future, The Dark Side of the Herd and The Killer Krab, my own true personal shame in beta Undersea Mysteries Incorporated, the avant-garde poetry of Squidward's Childhood and Sponge's Atlantis, an actual decent work in Mermaid Man: The Aquatic Avenger, and other smaller scale works that were just...really damn weird at times, like Prince Neptune, The Runaway Sponge, SpongeBob: Diaries of a Serial Killer, SBC: The Soap Opera, Patrick V.S. World, The Adventures of DoodleBob, The Misunderstood Life of DoodleBob and these one-shots. With 32 projects riffed, there will still be so much material for people to look back on in the future, and I certainly know I will. I originally just made this after riffing Bikini Top with Ex for the lulz in summer 2013, and then this became a major cult hit across SBC. As we went further along, we all made legitimate and constructive reasons why a lot of things in this theater didn't age well at all, but still sprinkling fun comedy in there. It really changed the way a lot of us write, maybe even improving some of our writing and riffing skills. Of course, there are some things I really don't ever want to re-experience again from this, such as Heather x Seth, Mrs. Puff x Linus, SpongeSebastian's candy wrappers, the Bikini Top musical, and all of Down Under. Yeah, some things we riffed were that scarring on my mind. But that's the price to be paid for quality comedy! Not all of our riffs were perfect, and there were a few I wish we could've done differently, but nobody is perfect at the end of the day, which is the key theme of this theater. Even I admitted my flaws with several of my my own creations being riffed. I thank everyone who supported Riffing Theater the past five years, and everyone who helped me riff it. This was one group project that wouldn't have been as successful as it was without everyone else. It does hurt a bit deep down to end it, but we've pretty much ran out of things to riff. I don't want us to stretch for content and decline like some certain riffing critics. However, don't cry. Riffing Theater might not be over for good. Maybe someday, there will be a reboot or continuation of some kind. Who knows? But for now, I think it's for the best the theater closes and gets a well deserved vacation. Our riffers and sucky writing police squads also finally will get their well-deserved breaks. Just remember though, you don't need Riffing Theater to tell you if something is "good" or "bad" anymore. I think we've all matured that we can criticize writing on our own, and many of us have improved as writers thanks to commentary here, whether comedic or serious. So yeah, it's been real guys. See you soon, space cowboy...] THE END Edited December 14, 2018 by MLG Vanilluxe 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timmy Vermicelli Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 2011!Wumbo was a whole different animal. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel the Wolfgirl Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 In the short time I was here in the riffing theater, I had a ton of fun with you guys. Sad to see it go, but as Teenj himself said, all good things must come to an end. Fantastic work over the years, jjs. Godspeed to ya, and good luck on your current and future projects. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MMM Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 Weird to think that this is over. Good work everyone throughout the years. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Peach Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 i must say this surely this is end of the show, it had a grood run. thanks to everyone who had riffed once again 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Snake Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 Absolutely stellar finale. Like many, despite this being a great, truly influential show, I'm glad that it's ending now on a high note. Even as I don't truly believe that we'd ever end up becoming the next Channel Awesome, Riffing Theater has served its purpose, like you implied. Even if the content of it remained of high-quality, it doesn't change the fact that the show is not something we "need" anymore. Commentary and riffing on other people's works is essentially just comedic reviewing, it can't take the place of actual shows on SBC. All the more motivation to be putting our time into making our own original content. I'll also thank SOF for the shout-out to me, I'm always willing to help him make a good show. I guess I'll end this by saying that my top five favorite riffing projects, in no particular order, were Bikini Top Season 2 (even with the riffs of mine that I sort of regret now, everyone else's commentary was god-tier for 2014 standards), And Then There Were Less 3 (duh), Down Under (sorry that you didn't have fun with these riffs, but I'm very proud of the commentary I did on them), Eddsworld Meets Spongebob (still the worst SBC show I've ever read, but was too much bad fun not to love riffing), and of course, these one-shots. Literally, their only flaw was Elastic not being able to join us. Amazing work, all of you. Thank you for how well you've managed this show, Jjs. I can not wait to see what new shows you have in store for the future, because the future is looking bright right now. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fortnitefan12 Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 past luke for best spin-off character I gotta say, even though I became a fan of this theater towards the end, I still had a great reading these riffs. I'm a little sad to see this go, but it's like they say, nothing good lasts forever. I will continue to come back and read all the riffs again just because they're all so good, and I will always regret not being a part of the team. See you, space cowboy. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Ketchum Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 As a member of the riffing team myself, I would like to say thank you to jjs and all of the other riffers on this project. It's been a really fun ride. It's been also fun riffing on this one-shot project too. I really liked all of our riffs on this one and everyone was at their strongest here too (especially Laughing Ostrich, that guy was an underrated riffer). Really, I am so glad that I came back swinging to do the one-shots and finish with a bang. Because if I'm being frank, my riffs here blow away all of my previous ones in the past. I was really blessed to be a part of the experience in general. Speaking of, here's a list of my favorite projects on here (whether or not I were involved with them): Spoiler Squidward's Childhood SOF's Exciting Critic Corner Sponge's Atlantis Patrick Vs. World Childhood Deleted with SpongeBob SquarePants Life of Larry the Krab Patty Daddy World of Gloves What Happens on Conch Street Bikini Bottom High Eddsworld Meets SpongeBob SBC: Investigation & Prosecution Can You Please Past the Future SBC: The Soap Opera SpongeBoy! Get a Clue! Mermaid Man: The Aquatic Avenger The Dark Side of the Herd and yes, all of the one-shot projects Welp. That's the end of the show. Great riffing, and good night. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJ Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 That was a great final (and fitting) wrap-up, guys. I'm truly proud of the way the theater has entertained and united the community over the last few years - cementing itself as a true legacy. Hats off to you, Jjs, and to all the riffers and fans who made this ride well worth it. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Peach Posted June 16, 2018 Share Posted June 16, 2018 Holy shit, it's been 5 years already? Damn i still remember that time that we riffed one of best riffed series we had lincuding one of mine personally. I even glad how you guys DESTORYED ATTWL 3 with awesome riffs thank you y'all Also, thx to @jjsthekid for doing this amazing work tho 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel the Wolfgirl Posted June 16, 2018 Share Posted June 16, 2018 God, I remember when I was part of the Riffing Theater. Good times. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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