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Jjs' Riffing Theater 3000


Jinjo

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Oh, I am growing to like this story in a so bad, it's good way. I used to think it was just boring bad. Riffs are helping salvage the lulziness of it though.

8 hours ago, Austin Layers said:

[Clappy: As someone who doesn't watch My Little Pony anymore, and someone who does please feel free to let me know if I'm right or wrong, but I would think any sort of element would be not that easy to just simply take away.]

You're right. At first glance, you'd appear to be wrong because Discord did steal the elements in the Season 2 premiere...but that's only because the Mane 6 didn't have them in their possession at the time.

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The Dark Side of the Herd

5. Part V

Spoiler

The Dark Side of the Herd: Part V

[Renegade: The ACSpire Strikes Back.]

Meanwhile, during SOF’s group’s quest to find the elements…

“My feet are really sore right now,” said Elastic.

[Hayden: QGDBW_.gif ]

[RenBob: THE KRUSTY KRAB PIZZA

VERY TA-ASTY]

[Jjs: Feel free to take a break anytime, Elastic. After all, they still haven't cared I went missing all that much, so I doubt they'll care if you go missing either.]

“And walking is good exercise,” said Metal Snake.

[Metal Snake: Again, I actually do like walking in real life even though I’ve never said so on SBC. I wonder if Steel was spying on me back then…]

“We’re running out of time,

[Jjs: When was it ever said they had a time limit?]

I don’t know how nasty things will turn out when the darkness in the clouds are complete, but we must keep us,

[Grammar Police: Did you mean: up]

[Hayden: You already lost one of "us".]

as we are stronger than this sturdy mountain,” said Steel, “swift as the coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire, and mysterious as the dark side of the moon! That’s what we could be!”

[Fred: Let's get down to business! To steal.....some lyrics!]

[Metal Snake: Disney called, Steel. Mulan wants her musical number back. If this was a reference to the PMV of that song storytime posted, then chefmkt called as well.]

[Renegade: TFS wants to have a chat.]

[Steel: *gets in Disney's face* Yes, I'll make a ripoff, using you!]

“Hmm…pretty moving, but I give you doubt,” said Wumbo.

[Jjs: Even though I can't imagine Wumbo saying that, I don't blame him for doubting Steel, as I doubt referencing Mulan will make everyone badass all of a sudden.]

[Fred: He should've given him No Doubt! Ha! Get it! Because he.....reviews......music?]

[eugenekrabsthekid: I'm not paying you to do stand-up, Mr. Rechid. Now get back to riffing!]

[Metal Snake: pretty moving but i give you doubt

Yeah, if not for that zero-dimensional zombie from ATTWL 3, I’d call this the worst fictional Wumbo I’ve ever read in an SBC lit. Whenever the actual Wumbo makes a sarcastic joke or remark, he’s always very real about it, if that makes any sense. He’s not all, “Oh, that’s cool bro, but that’s also kinda lame!”, he tells it like it is.]

[Hayden: Can the element of doubt float itself out now?]  

“I wonder what else we could run into,” said Sabre.

[Jjs: Oh hey Sabre. That was a really important line. You sure needed to be in this story.]

“Yeah, strange things are happening and always will,” Jelly said,

[Hayden: And by always, you mean for all of two hours.]

[Jjs: Funny, I don't hear "Strange Things" by Randy Newman in the background.]

“Maybe we will encounter another spectacle while we’re still walking.”

[Metal Snake: RAZZLE DAZZLE GLITS AND GLAM]

[Hayden: TURN IT ALL UP]

[Renegade: 

]

She was right; there was another weird event in their path.

[Jjs: Subtle.]

Somebody was looking north in front of the group. He turns around and reveals to be carrying around smilies. It was 4EverGreen.

[Hayden: Those aren't smilies. They're severed heads he distorted the lip movements of.]

[Jjs: Ah yes, 4EverGreen. Yet another SBC user many works around this time mocked. Will it actually be funny though? Considering how everything has been going so far in this...I'd wager probably not.]

[Metal Snake: Carrying around smilies...I’m having flashbacks to SBC Mafia with “A CUP OF ICONS”. I just don’t get why simply holding something that should normally only exist within the realm of the internet in real life ever made for a joke. It’s especially funny when you look at what’s going on now with the negative reaction to The Emoji Movie.]

[Renegade: I misread that as "carrying around smiles". Fuck it, 4EverSauce is now a crack ship.]

“It always happens…” said CDCB.

[Jjs: What always happens? 4EverGreen blocks your path?]

[Hayden: Get used to it, CDCB, in the real world you sometimes encounter strange men. If they offer you candy, don't go with them. But if they offer you a VHS tape, you're among your kin.]

“Excuse me sir,” Sabre said to him.

“It is I, 4EverGreen. How may I help you?” 4EverGreen said.

[Jjs: 4EverGreen, is that really you? :rolleyes: When did you get so bland? :S ]

[Fred: This is too out-of-character for 4EverGreen. USE MORE SMILIES AND EMOTES! :glare::funny::stinkeye:]

[Hayden: Well since you're asking, have any Pokemon that you can pull out of your ass for them?]

“We need to continue our quest, so can you-“said Steel.

“No way, my master told me to keep you guys from moving any further,” said 4EverGreen.

[Fred: You mean Aku, the shape shifti-- *gets hit with brick*]

[Metal Snake: Here we go again...now I know why Steel was so serious in voicing his grievances on “noob hazing” back in the day.]

[Hayden: Is it that dastardly mutt, Captain Retro? Trying to keep civilization from moving any further past the retro age?]

“But we did stop tvfan, Elastic stopped Hasfarr and JCM,

[Jjs: Is it bad I forgot they stopped them? All of ACS' lackeys are blurring together with no real personality.]

we got two elements of harmony, and we’re going to get past you no matter what,” said Steel.

“Show me your best moves,” 4EverGreen replied.

[Fred: *Captain Falcon catchphrase goes here*]

“How about you show us your moves first? But I have faith that you’re going to attack us with smilies,” said Clappy.

[Metal Snake: Oh ye of little faith.]

[Hayden: They should show their moves at the same time.

OFLaZ.gif

“I have to say, with you against 10 of us, you’re a bit of a push-over,” said SOF.

[Jjs: I'd say more than "a bit".]

“I don’t think so…” said Deli.

[Hayden: What don't you think so? You don't think 10 can take on one? Strange time to speak up and disagree.]

[Jjs: At least someone in the group isn't blindly obeying every order, even though this is a strange time for Deli to suddenly grow a spine.]

Half of the group were circling around 4EverGreen, making of fun of him, until 4EverGreen speaks out.

[Hayden: Way to make the heroes look like a bunch of schoolyard bullies. Are they going to take 4Ever's lunch money?]

“SHUT UP AND LISTEN, IF YOU MAKE ONE MORE ANNOYING HUMDRUM ABOUT MY CUSTOM SMILEY USE, YOU WILL SEE MY WRATH AS YOU SUFFER IN THE PIT OF HELL, BECAUSE BEING PREDICTABLE, I WILL BE NEVERMORE!” 4EverGreen exclaimed in a somewhat demonic voice, with Steel screaming most of the time.

[Mermaid Man: STOP SHOUTIN', I'M NAPPING!]

[Fred: Yeah, be careful, guys! He has the power of turning you into a "moo cow" in Total Cartoon!]

[Hayden: Quoth the moo cow, "Nevermore".]

[Metal Snake: ...Steel screaming most of the time? About what? Was he trying to drown out the noise...with more noise?]

Returning to a soft tone, he says, “Now do you understand, and by the way, did I do good?”

[Fred: Doing good at yelling at people with a loud-ass voice? Son, you'll be a great R. Lee Ermey someday.]

[Hayden: seeks-validation-finds-none-thumb.jpg ]

“Well, it was really threatening enough to keep my mouth shut,” said CDCB.

[Hayden: It's not like you say many lines to begin with.]

[Jjs: I was going to make a riff, but Hayden beat me to it. :Laugh: Although to be fair, at least CDCB has more of a reason to be here than Sabre.]

“Please, minion or not, let us through,” said Jelly.

[Dolan: 4EVER PLS]

[Renegade: Image result for minion]

“If the master says I need to do a safe and senseless act of assassination, I can’t.

[Metal Snake: Safe and...senseless? Well, at least you got one part right.]

[Renegade: Safe, sane and consensual.]

So yeah, I’m going to kill you guys since he wanted me to do that,” said 4EverGreen.

[Jjs: Okay then. Instead of pointing out how I can't imagine 4Ever wanting to kill anyone, instead I'll point out how hilariously nonchalant this is for him.]

“Okay, that is nothing like you,” said Steel.

[Jjs: That could be applied to a lot of people in this story.]

[Fred: I concur. NEEDS MORE SMILIES!]

[Renegade: Nice, the fic is riffing itself.]

[Hayden: The only assassinations 4Ever is known for, is that of Nicktoons and their personalities/sexual preferences.]

“Seriously, snap out it, even though it might not work since we tried that on tvfan,” said SOF.

[Metal Snake: *tries to muffle laugh*

I hate to say it, but I actually can imagine SOF saying that.]

[Hayden: 9ZXyCXo.jpg?1 ]

“Nope, it’s combat territory now,” 4EverGreen replied.

So then, the group begins to fight with 4EverGreen with their swords, then meanwhile, in ACS’ lair…

[Jjs: Holy shit, that has to be the worst transition yet in the story. You don't even want to show us a potentially lulzy fight scene? How lazy.]

[Metal Snake: Wow, transition of the century. “So then, the action was about to begin, then meanwhile!” Just keeps me so engaged with the story.]

[Hayden: I guess our riffs are the only place we'll be seeing 4Ever get owned at.]

[Fred: Meanwhile, at the Legion of Doom! Ah, screw it. I doubt even the Super Friends narrator would make it sound good.]

“Dragiiin can be a bit stubborn in front of me sometimes, but he’s doing a pretty good job,” said ACS.

[Jjs: Yeah, too bad we haven't really seen any of that ourselves.]

”And you’re starting to like him, and you were sworn to be against him,” said World Travel.

[Hayden: How JCM would feel about World Tour in a nutshell. :( ]

“World Travel, I said I-“ACS then thinks for a moment,

[Jjs: This is probably the most he has thought about anything in the past six years. :bruh: ]

“You know what? I don’t need Dragiiin anymore, and I don’t need Jjs either.”

[Metal Snake: Ah, I always love a good abrupt change of plans.]

[Hayden: Maybe you should wait until after you use them to announce them as needless.]

[Jjs: Really? You're already ditching bland me and Dragiiin despite doing nothing with us? What the hell was the point of kidnapping us then? As you can tell, this miniseries can barely commit to its own "plots".]

“You don’t need Jjs already?” XTM said.

[Hayden: 8ae.gif ]

[Jjs: Even "ACS" is acknowledging how sudden this is.]

”Take a look, with science, he already destroyed few of what I have,” said ACS.

[Hayden: Few of what you have of what? >_> ]

[Jjs: ...Huh? I destroyed few of what? Your personalities? Explain, lit! Vague and strange explanations are another major problem in this.]

“Here’s the serum you wanted me to produce, AHAHAHA!” Jjs said.

[Metal Snake: So the next thing you decide to show us is him...creating something. What?]

[Fred: *almost reads "serum" as "semen" and then giggles a little* I mean, what?]

“I have something to say: screw you, just find the SBC members and take that stuff with you,” ACS said.

[Hayden: "Screw you, I actually do need you."]

[Jjs: ...well fuck me. Not just me, but fictional me too because he still has to put up with this. So ACS does need me after all? What the hell was the point of his earlier line then? Was Steel considering abandoning this plot line, but decided against it at the last minute? Also, take what "stuff" with you? Can I call the Vagueness Police up in here? This entire scene feels so forced, half-assed, and...odd. It's like it wasn't even meant to be in this originally, but Steel didn't want to erase all that "witty" banter.]

“Yes I will, with science!” Jjs said and leaves.

[Fred: Just don't blind me with it.]

[Jjs: Justin Nye the Science Guy.]

[Hayden: FW904AS.gif ]

“I could have told you that joining forces with anybody from your opposing website is a bad idea, but you didn’t listen,” said XTM.

[Metal Snake: Well, SBM used to be an opposing website of ACS. And look at them now. :)

[Jjs: There's a lot of things ACS doesn't listen to, but I'm surprised he isn't listening to himself.]

[Hayden: If they are brainwashed, then how is it an actual team-up with his opposing side?]

“Whatever, I have nothing to worry,” said ACS.

[Jjs: *about.]

It goes back to Steel’s group again, 4EverGreen was priorilly defeated.

[Grammar Police: Did you mean: priorly]

[Jjs: ...Did that ACS scene serve as a commercial break or something? Wow. The literature couldn't even be bothered to show us the full fight scene. Seriously, what the hell was the point of 4Ever even being in this story now? Just so you could "mock" him too? If you're going to "mock" someone, you should at least have done it in a way that didn't make his character feel pointless to the overall story. Even then, this portrayal of 4Ever was as bland as anything else. At least when other works mocked shamed members, they had some point in being in the story. Here, 4Ever adds nothing other than a nonexistent fight scene. Also, what is the "it" going back to Steel's group? A camera? Man, this part has so many instances of being half-assed and lazy it's not even funny. Enough said, true believers! ;) ]

[Fred: Crap, I missed out on the fight. DAMN YOU, ACS AND YOUR EVIL PLOT, DAMN YOOOOOOOOOOOU!]

[Hayden: Now Jjs can appear, say some threatening dialogue, and charge at them before the scene cuts to the other group.]

[Metal Snake: Called it. If you’re not going to make the build-up to the fight engaging, that reflects on how much you really care about the actual fight.]

[Renegade: Worst. Community Deathmatch. Ever.]

“Well, it wasn’t hard, but we didn’t unveil one of the two other elements,” said SOF.

[Hayden: There isn't an element for beating the snot out of 4EverGreen? I'm stunned!]

“Now let’s forge on, we can’t die here under the darkness surrounding the sky,” said Steel, but then, Jjs appeared, “Hey look, he came running back to us.”

[Metal Snake: I love how I initially got on this show’s pacing for being too sluggish, because holy shit, that scene was way too rushed. You couldn’t even separate Steel’s line of dialogue from Jjs’ dramatic entrance? Really? Are you even trying to build suspense?]

[Hayden: "Came running back to us". You last thought he was missing and possibly in danger. Holy shit, what an asshole line. You should at least feel relieved or concerned.]

[Jjs: What Hayden said. First, I go missing for barely anyone to care, and now I come back for barely anyone to care. That Simba, is the circle of life.]

“Weren’t you surprised? AHAHAHA!” Jjs said.

[Jjs: No, not really.]

[Hayden: 

]

Please don’t tell me the “master” turned him into Dr. Insano,” said Steel.

[Hayden: I'm still too lazy to look up what "Dr. Insano" even is.]

“I told you so,” Metal Snake said to Steel.

[Metal Snake: I’m half-tempted to say, “American Dad called.”.]

[Jjs: I'm still not sure how Metal knew I turned into Dr. Insano, but okay. At least he bothered to think about me, unlike these bland jackasses.]

“Now we must fight this crazed up fruit loop, right?” CDCB said.

[Metal Snake: ...Toucan Sam called. I don’t know why though.]

[Jjs: So I make my return, and CDCB's first thought is to fight me. I see how it is.]

[Fred: Well, at least he didn't call him a "Froot Loop". Hold on, I'm getting a call from some bird named Sam.]

[Hayden: giphy.gif ]

“Are you a dumbass? He’s an ally,” said Steel.

[Hayden: Steel doesn't even know how to write dialogue that fits with himself.] 

[Jjs: Way to insult your fellow members, Steel. You truly deserve to be the "hero" if that is what this story is building up to still. Also, CD is far from being the only person to deserve the "dumbass" label in this.]

“And from my master’s orders, you all must perish, with science!” Jjs exclaimed.

[Fred: I'm half-tempted to say, "Thomas Dolby called".]

[Hayden: If they perish without science, is ACS going to throw some of his toy blocks at you?]

“Drop the act and take off those goggles,” said Steel and flings the goggles around, easily making Jjs himself again,

[Jjs: "easily" No comment.]

[Hayden: HE WAS LITERALLY BLINDED BY SCIENCE. 

tenor.gif ]

“Wow, I can’t believe it was that easy.

[Jjs: Neither can I. And to top off the poor pacing, just what we need, ATTWL 3 level self-awareness...hooray.]

Now what was the last thing you remember?”

[Metal Snake: Uuuuuggggghhhhh. *points to my complaint on the terrible suspense building*]

[Jjs: Seriously though, it was that damn easy to set me free from ACS' control? This miniseries can't even fully commit to things it "sets up", another one of its major problems. On the bright side, at least my character won't be making forced Dr. Insano references anymore.]

“Well, I was someone’s lair and it turns out-“said jjs.

[Metal Snake: The lair was a lie?]

[Hayden: Jjs transformed into an entire lair?

jsoY8V2.gif ]

“Wait, what’s with that beaker?” Clappy said referring to the green serum. 

[Renegade: MEE MEEP.]

[Jjs: I dunno, blame Deli. She wanted me to bring her a Muppet.]

[Hayden: Splash it on 4EverGreen, it's the only way to revive him 4Ever.]

“I don’t know, and it must be fake,” said jjs and splashes it around him, “See, it was just some accessory.” But then a scroll comes out from jjs’ mouth.

[Metal Snake: What, did he turn into Spike?]

[Jjs: I thought my character wanted to go for some bagels, not scrolls.]

“Now he has a fever,” said Deli.

[Fred: And is the prescription.........more cowbell?]

[Hayden: Puking up a scroll is a common sign of a fever.]

”Nope,” jjs continued and read, “Dragiiin, if you’re reading this, you are relieved from serving me, and I bet you’re happy about that, yours faithfully, Prince Dark Ruler.”

[Metal Snake: ...Of course he couldn’t just tell Dragiiin that he was free to go and send him on his way, because…? I thought Dragiiin was still retaining most of his consciousness while he was hypnotized.]

[Hayden: Still not understanding why it came into Jjs' possession like that.]

[Jjs: Maybe ACS slipped that scroll into my lunch when I was under his possession. Wouldn't be the most ridiculous thing to happen in this.]

”I knew it!” Clappy said.

[Jjs: About time, but it was 2011. I think everyone and their damn grandmother could've guessed it was ACS.]

“It turns out ACS is the one behind all this, that asshole!” SOF said.

[Fred: It's pronounced "ACShole", but okay.]

[Hayden: Current SOF is more likely to swear on a tirade, but I can't vouch for Past.]

“So, did you guys get any new elements?” Jjs asked.

“We were too distracted that time, what did you expect?” Elastic said.

[Hayden: ....But you technically have found an element since the last time you saw Jjs.]

[Jjs: I expected you guys to make some progress maybe, asshole.]

“And finding all the elements is an important task right now, so we should catch up to Ex and the others to see if they made full progress,” said Steel.

[Metal Snake: GO AHEAD DAUNTLESSLY MAKE RAPID PROGRESS]

“Right behind you,” said Sabre.

“Yep, even though I give doubt that they are finished,” said Jelly.

[Metal Snake: Give doubt? Keep your negativity to yourself!]

[Hayden: Jelly can only give recycled Wumbo dialogue.]

[Jjs: Jeez, lots of doubt going around in this chapter. I guess I can't blame them for being negative though.]

Then it goes back to where Ex’s group left off.

[Jjs: Then it goes back to SOF's group, then it goes back to ACS' lair, then it goes to the riffing theater...]

“We’re almost at the peak,” said Pakasa.

[Hayden: Peak of this chapter, please?]

“Of course we are, without any further interruptions,” said Ex.

“What about tvguy, is going to feel alright?” CF said.

[Renegade: You missed a couple grammars there.]

[Jjs: CF is right. Is he going to feel alright after stepping in poisonous plants? Or will he be ignored? Or will that be another "what did you expect"?]

“Almost forgot about that, but it was just Poison Joke, what kind of harm can infect him?” Ex said.

[Fred: "Poison joke"? Sounds more like a Joe Cocker joke.

Also, I'd just like to point out the missing "he" the writers forgot to insert into CF's sentence. I almost lost my brain after reading that.]

[Metal Snake: Funny, because Ex’s avatar back then was from the MLP episode with the Poison Joke. He should know very well what kind of harm could affect, or “infect”, him.]

[Hayden: But Ex literally narrated to us in the last chapter that Poison Joke was going to do something to tvguy. *smacks Ex upside the head*]

“My vision appears to becoming trippy right now,” said tvguy, “Now I can barely see!”

“Damn it, at this time?” 70s said.

[Hayden: No, it was just going to wait for him to get home to cause him to go blind.]

“We’re not going to give because tvguy isn’t in good condition,” said Ex, “So now we have to find something to treat his effect from the Poison Joke.”

[Jjs: Something tells me the cure to a poisonous plant from My Little Pony isn't going to be easily found in real life, but sure, knock yourself out.]

Suddenly, a rumbling noise was heard.

“This noise is kind of making me famished,” said SpongeSebastian.

[Metal Snake: THAT WASN’T YOUR STOMACH LOLLOLLOLCAN’TBEATTHECLASSICKS]

[Jjs: Don't worry Seb. Pull convenient pieces of candy out of your ass to eat, and leave a trail of the wrappers behind for our antagonists.]

“I don’t think it’s any ordinary sound…” said Fa.

[Jjs: Thank you Fa for saying something anyone else could have.]

Then, ACS’ army of bronies came marching down while chanting “All hail Prince Dark Ruler.”

[Gary: Meow, Prince Dark Ruler.]

[Hayden: What do they have on their heads? Rainbows? Storm clouds?]

“Prince Dark Ruler, that’s ACS! So obvious,” said 70s.

[Metal Snake: His e-mail address having his full name in it still takes the cake as the most obvious giveaway of his identity.]

[Hayden: d-uh.gif ]

“And who are these people now, could they be more Spambots? I already killed enough,” said Ex.

[Hayden: Ex doesn't know how to differentiate between Spambots and human beings?]

“Actually, I think those guys are bronies, under control of ACS!” SpongeSebastian said.

[Jjs: Wow, OMJ was right. Everyone in this literature seems to jump to bizarrely accurate conclusions. How do they even know they are bronies? Do they have MLP clothes or something? Oops, there I go using my brain again.]

“Is that so? All I can see is a bunch of flashing green and yellow lights,” said tvguy.

[Hayden: So no red lights. Everyone's free to move.]

“Come on OMJ; kill them all, you’re our only hope!” Teenj said.

[Metal Snake: “Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. Committing mass murder is my only hope.”]

[Fred: More like Old Man Jenknobi.]

[Jjs: WHAT?! Teenj of all people is seriously suggesting for OMJ to KILL a bunch of bronies, even when Seb specifically stated they're "under control of ACS"?! WHAT THE FUCK!? And why does it have to be OMJ of all people who does this? If this is supposed to be morbid "humor", there's a time and place for that, not when a bunch of fucking enslaved bronies are about to attack them!]

“I would be your only hope if you’re all dead, but you’re all alive.

[Hayden: Way to get technical.]

And besides, we can’t slaughter bronies, we’re bronies too and they’re our kind after all,” said OMJ.

[Jjs: Praise OMJ for using common sense.]

[Metal Snake: Even as a brony myself, I can’t help but fear how this conversation would have gone if they weren’t bronies.]

[Hayden: This is how OMJ would sound in those circumstances.

Boz5IAd.png?1 ]

“You got anything else in mind, then?” 70s said.

“Yes, with an army full of bronies chanting the same thing over and over, we got nothing to worry. I suggested we love and tolerate the shit out of those guys,” said OMJ.

[Metal Snake: The irony is that the reason most bronies stopped saying “love and tolerate” is because of its overuse.]

[Hayden: Loving and tolerating a toxic fandom will just reflect badly on you all.]

“What kind of use is that?” tvguy questioned.

“We shall use…laughter, for the sake of obtaining the next element!” OMJ said, “Even if I’m too awesome to use that, just watch me.”

[Fred: If they want to use laughter, they should read this.]

[Hayden: Didn't think I'd need this again, but...

Boz5IAd.png?1 ]

[Metal Snake: “Too awesome.”. Rainbow Dash’s element is already taken, just letting you know.]

[Jjs: ...Okay, I don't once ever remember OMJ bragging about how "awesome" he is. Even if he was often portrayed as a "badass" in these stories, he'd never stroke his ego like that on the forums. Dammit OMJ, and I was on your side earlier! You've let me down!]

“I would if everything wasn’t so bright,” tvguy added.

[Hayden: Could be worse. Could be an army of Porygons shooting flashing missiles.]

“Ha, ha, ha,” OMJ says softly, the laughter suddenly made a dozen of the brony slaves disappear.

”Where did they go?” teenj said.

[Jjs: MLPforums? Although, that might be a worse fate than being ACS' slaves.]

“I don’t know, maybe someplace where they are loved and tolerated,” said OMJ.

[Fred: Swellville, Califlorida?]

[Hayden: Deviantart?]

[Metal Snake: Or maybe they went some place where they’ll be able to avoid bad laughs.]

“So now we have to keep laughing?” SpongeSebastian questioned.

[Hayden: Don't count on riffer participation.]

“I guess so,” said Ex.

Afterwards, the group keep using their advantage to make more of the bronies disappear until the path was all clear.

[Metal Snake: God, I know that scene was supposed to remind me of the forest scene from the MLP: FiM pilot, but it actually reminds me more of this…

]

”Wow, anti-climax,” said hilaryfan80.

[Jjs: HAHA SELF-AWARENESS SO CLEVER GOD DAMN IT]

[Hayden: giphy-3.gif ]

“I think I realized something,” said Fa, “If we were strong enough to vanish all those enslaved bronies, then that means we can beat ACS in no time.”

[Jjs: I doubt it, because we still have two parts left, but with this story's pacing, maybe it'll take them two whole chapters to even reach ACS.]

[Metal Snake: Just because you can beat the boss’ minions, doesn’t mean you’re ready to face the boss. Then again, this is ACS we’re talking, so I’ll let it slide.]

[Hayden: So you're spoiling Part 7 as being an anti-climax too?]

“True dat,” said Ex. Then a bright shining light appears unveiling the element of laughter, “And that makes three, we’re doing well.”

“I believe Steel and the others got a hold of the other three elements. If that’s true, then we must have all of them,” said Fa.

[Hayden: That's Fa-lse.]

[Jjs: Um, ACS has the Element of Magic. By that logic, you don't have all six. Is this story even keeping track of its own plots anymore?]

“Hmm…what we can do now is keep going,” said hilaryfan80.

[Metal Snake: No shit, unless this is actually an open-world game with sidequests.]

[Hayden: Weren't they right on the tail of the castle?]

”Jesus, this is going to take forever to reach the peak,” said Ex,

[Jjs: Even Ex knows how this story is dragging. I'd be surprised if you even reached the peak by next chapter.]

“And I don’t know and don’t care how high we are.”

[Fred: I don't know how high you guys are, but the writers are definitely high as a kite.]

[Hayden: "I don't care how much progress I've made". To be fair, I wouldn't want to look down either.]

[Jesus: Oh please, I only climbed Mt. fucking Sinai!]

“Because this is the final point of this mountain you’ll ever reach,” said Dragiiin once he appeared.

[Jjs: SURPRISE TELEPORTATION! Seriously, screw this pacing. First it's too slow, and now somehow it's too fast!]

“Drags, am I glad to see you,” said teenj.

[Hayden: I'm sad to not see him wearing drag.]

“Dragiiin is here, where?” Tvguy said, with his vision still messed up.

[Hayden: Here.]

“I am here, to do a confounded request for the master who cannot be named,” said Dragiiin.

[Metal Snake: Not to mention the master who cannot be bothered to tell me I’m fired to my face.]

[Renegade: ...Even then, he's already been named.]

[Jjs: To be fair, if I were ACS, I wouldn't want people to know who I am either.]

[Hayden: Let me guess, the other group shows up with the scroll and that's all it takes to defeat Dragiiin. Hopefully he comments on how confounded that is, too.]

”Oh great, Dragiiin is under a spell too?” hilaryfan80 said.

“And of course, we all know that your so-called master is ACS,” said Ex.

“As master Prince Dark Ruler says, I must now assassinate you guys,” said Dragiiin and holds up a long heavy sword,

[Metal Snake: Cloud’s bushido blade?]

[Jjs: Are we riffing SBC *holds nose* PU again?]

[Hayden: aFJHrYD.gif ]

“I assume only half of you guys are here, where are the others?”

“I don’t know, but they’re slow as sloth,” said Fa.

[Hayden: zootopia-sloth-oh-no-animated-gif.gif ]

“Okay then…as long as I’m standing, there’s nothing you can do,” Dragiiin continued.

[Metal Snake: What about if you were sitting?]

[Hayden: Or standing while falling?]

“We need to give him his memory back, but how?” SpongeSebastian said.

[Fred: Tell him that he's in a bad lit--I mean, bad dream.]

[Hayden: Read some of his classic posts back to him.]

“We can always bash him with something very solid,” said OMJ.

[Metal Snake: That won’t break his head open on top of it.]

[Jjs: Hopefully you don't give him brain damage or anything.]

“Good thinking, but what do we have?” Pakasa said.

[Hayden: I'm sure one of the members in your posse should have a skull thick enough.]

“Just this rock,” said OMJ, holding it.

[Jjs: It's not just a boulder, it's a rock! A rock!]

OMJ then throws it at Dragiiin, making him feel unconscious.

[Fred: Oh no! The Dragiiin has escaped from the Pokeball!]

“I hope that didn’t do too much damage,” said CF.

[Metal Snake: Yeah, it’s real annoying when you’re trying to catch a Pokemon and you score a critical hit on it.]

“Hey Drags, are you alright, and if you are, are you going to listen to us?” Ex asked.

“HELL YEAH I’M LISTENING,” said Dragiiin, “pretty damn straight if you ask me.”

[Jjs: Wow, that is one magic rock if it can cure hypnotism.]

[Hayden: tumblr_morf1z28HZ1srsvn8o1_500.gif ]

“And we have the old Dragiiin back!” Fa said.

[Metal Snake: In the most anticlimatic way possible, but still, we have him back!]

[Hayden: A rock has some firm competition with that scroll ass pull. Regardless, they still need to collect the 7 Dragiiin balls.]

“I can’t believe that fucking ACS did that to me,” said Dragiiin.

[Hayden: You never know what strange symptoms you'll get when you fuck ACS.]

[Jjs: Out of context, that is pretty fucking hilarious...and now that thought is in my head...GAH, GET IT AWAY!]

“But hey, it’s over now.

[Jjs: Not quite, sadly.]

It will be ALL over once we stop ACS once and for all,” said 70s.

[Jjs: ACS is unfortunately never stopped "once and for all", since he's still relevant in 2017.]

“And you’re lucky I’m right here now, so I’m joining your quest,” said Dragiiin123.

[Hayden: You were already in the middle of it.] 

”Dragiiin is a pretty good advantage, he knows Friendship is Magic pretty well,” said Fa.

[Metal Snake: What has knowing Friendship is Magic pretty well done to help so far? The only person it’s helped so far is me, giving me more to say in this commentary.]

[Hayden: Then I'm sure Dragiiin will procure them the last element, right?]

[Fred: I thought my thesis in the first chapter said otherwise.]

Then, SOF’s group arrives at the scene.

[Jjs: Is it bad I forgot they existed? I guess Steel forgot about 'em too due to this lulzy transition.]

“What is it now?” Ex questioned.

[Hayden: Just that group of imbeciles you tried to outrun.]

“Ex, it’s Steel and the others; they caught up to-“said teenj.

“I know that!” Ex continued, “So do you guys have the other half of the Elements of Harmony?”

[Hayden: Poor teenj was just trying to answer your stupid question :/]

“We don’t have the one,” said Steel,

[Jjs: Then why did Fa say you had all six earlier? Once again, proofreading.]

“I think the last element is somewhere inside that lair above us.”

[Metal Snake: Let’s hope it isn’t a lie like the lair.]

“From the looks of it…I think we’re only 90 paces away from encountering ACS,” said Ex, “In time to give him a piece of our mind.”

[Hayden: 90 paces? Earlier you said you didn't care how far along you were, now you have an exact number of paces configured?]

“And about Dragiiin, is he fine? He’s been under control from ACS in quite a while,” said jjs.

[Hayden: So were you and no one's doubting your recovery.]

“I AM FINE, okay?” Dragiiin said, “Now, do we want the world to be plagued with horrid darkness all over?”

[Hayden: At this point, yeah, kind of, a little. Give this story some fucking stakes.]

[Metal Snake: I really can’t think of a better response to this out-of-character line than something Dragiiin would actually say…

“Personality and changing someone so they fit the role”]

A half hour later…

[Jjs: Normally I'd make a snide riff, but I'm actually glad Steel spared us more boring mountain climbing.]

“Finally, we hiked through this extremely long mountain…and reached ACS lair, hooray…” said Ex with exhaustion.

[Jjs: See, Ex is getting tired of this lit too. Hang in there bro, you still got two parts left, sadly.]

“Well this is it; the path to our dreams of vanquishing SBC’s greatest trolls lays here,” said Elastic,

[Fred: But first, you gotta pay the troll toll to enter.]

[Metal Snake: Team Rage are hardly SBC’s “greatest” trolls.]

[Hayden: WhaleBlubber is still the OG in SBC lore.]

“And we finally made it with five of six of the elements retrieved.”

“Yep, this will look pretty easy…” said Clappy.

[Jjs: Looks pretty easy, but in execution, I highly doubt it.]

“Great, now let’s kick some rainbow ass,” said Dragiiin, and all the SBC members came inside the lair of ACS.

[Jjs: "All the SBC members came inside the lair of ACS". Words cannot describe how hard I lol'd. xD That may be one of the most unintentionally hilarious ways to end anything ever. Say what you will about this literature, but unintentional comedy is one thing it does well. Seems like I only laugh at this when it's not trying to be funny to begin with. Huh. Unfortunately, that's also the last positive thing I'm going to say about this, because...oh boy, see you guys for the finale. I'll leave it at that.]

[Fred: I'm gonna kick some ass, gonna drive a truck, ROCK FLAG AND EAGLLLLLLLLLLE! Are any of these It's Always Sunny references getting into your head yet?]

[Hayden: Yay, after 3 chapters of encountering easily defeated obstacles, we get to the ineffectual boss! I'm bursting with rainbow powered joy!]

TO BE CONTINUED…

[Renegade: ...No words.]

[Metal Snake: ...That is the best cliffhanger I have ever read. No, for real. I am being dead fucking serious. “Let’s kick some rainbow ass.” followed by “all the SBC members came inside the lair of ACS.”. I shouldn’t have to explain the lulz.

It’s also the perfect way to wrap up my riffing of this story. Definitely not the worst thing I’ve ever read, despite all of its problems. The first two chapters may have been dreadfully boring, despite at least being competently written, but these past three chapters have at least had things I’ve honestly enjoyed. Though the pacing and characterization of most of the SBC characters is still awful, at least the story started embracing its identity of being an MLP story. A corny and half-baked MLP story, but still an MLP story.

However, that doesn’t change my opinion that Steel could have done so much better. My biggest problem with this story, in all honesty, was that it did nothing to pull us into the world it was trying to create. If you want to mix the humor of TGWTG with MLP, go right ahead. But you have to build what you want to create. You have to build suspense, you have to build these character interactions, you have to build this humor. But I think I’ve said enough. I’ve written thousands of riffs like this. They’re all coming back to the same point.

ca496add2ba920392a71fbe480ed0810.jpg ]

 

Edited by jjsthekid
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“Just this rock,” said OMJ, holding it.

OMJ then throws it at Dragiiin, making him feel unconscious.

I laughed the hardest at this part, it was just so hilarious to imagine

 

      

   

These riffs were amazing, can't wait til the final two parts come out. I have to agree I lol'd at the part where all the SBC members were in ACS' lair :Laugh: 

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The "logic" behind tvguy and teenj wanting OMJ to kill the bronies is that they weren't bronies, even back then. It's still incredibly stupid though, not just for the obvious reason, but also because never back then did tvguy and teenj joke about wanting bronies dead. They're not 4Chan posters or Youtube commenters.

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8 hours ago, Austin Layers said:

all the SBC members came inside the lair of ACS.

I deadass spit out my water when I read this. Hoo boy, xDDDD.

Another really awful episode imo, but great riffs as usual.

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The Dark Side of the Herd

6. Part VI

Spoiler

The Dark Side of the Herd Part 6

[OMJ: Jason Lives.]

[Hayden: AKA the 4 year anniversary special of Riffing Theater. ]

[Steel: DSotH Part 6: No Good Beyond This Point: Episode 1]

[SOF: Yup, this chapter and onward is where the miniseries hits its worst point. Be prepared folks...]

The SBC

[The SBC: The one and only!]

[Hayden: Maybe don't abbreviate that, clunky grammar.]

slowly walked inside ACS’ lair taking a few minor steps.

[OMJ: IF YA SMEEEEELLLLLLLLLL WHAT THE SBC IS COOKIN'?]

[SOF: Finally, we reach the lair of ACS, and they sure are taking their sweet time.]

[Steel: Well, it has now come to the final destination. Why have I been hyping this up, alongside the final part? Shut up and read.]

[Hayden: Why are the steps so minor? It's just ACS, you bed wetters.]

“This is it guys,” said Steel, “We’re going to have some combat with ACS.”

[Trophy: Are we really? Let's think about that.]

[OMJ: So, this is gonna be just another regular Q1 for us then?]

[SOF: "Some combat"? Eh, what kind of combat?]

[Steel: I guess this is the part where I use my Mortal Kombat joke, cuz' this is definitely the first time I would have to use it.]

[Hayden: Rated G.

giphy.gif ]

ACS from the security room 

[OMJ: ACS from the security room?! What are you wearing?]

[ACS from the security room: Uhhh, just my Hitler themed boxers.]

notices the SBC members coming their way and goes to his control room 

[OMJ: You'd think they'd be the same room.]

[Steel: And across that point he would have to then enter the Shrine of the Silver Monkey and assemble the statue.]

[SOF: ACS has a control room and security room in this lair? Damn, I wonder where he got the money for this for an 11 year old...or a cartoon villain, which is what he turned into.]

to make a huge surprise at the members and exclaim, “Who dares enter my lair?”

[Hayden: big-freedia-201-you-already-know-gif.jpg ]

[OMJ: I love it when I walk into a surprise party and I'm threateningly asked what I'm doing entering someone else's house.]

[SOF: I think it's pretty damn obvious a bunch of SBC members entered your lair, you should know it's us, dumbass. Who else would randomly invade your lair in a large group? SBM? That reminds me, I'm still honestly surprised SBM weren't forced into this.]

“So you didn’t even notice us SBC members walking by in your lair? And doing that is a rule now?” Ex asked.

[OMJ: Well, it does count as trespassing. ACS could at least get a police department of some sort on your asses about that.]

[Hayden: People breaking and entering without consequence has been a thing since the first part, Ex is right, there are no rules for a group of children with plot armor.]

[Steel: I guess philosophical EX didn't get the idea that ACS' lair is guarded at all times.]

“SILENCE YOU IDIOTS! You may have gotten rid of my two sets of armies, but my two main subjects and two minor ones are going to make you pay!” ACS exclaimed.

[Trophy: Ah yes, the minor ones which always get the most focus in stories.]

[OMJ: This is like I'm watching a bad DBZ dub.]

[ACS: And that's TWO bad that you're all going to perish!]

[Hayden: Yeah, if they can defeat two armies, I'm sure 4 will be a satisfactory brigade to take them down.]

“Is that a challenge?” Wumbo questioned.

[Trophy: Not really.]

[SOF: Highly doubtful, considering the other "challenges" so far in this lit.]

[OMJ: Don't encourage this, please.]

[Hayden: tumblr_myh0a6y4rX1sqdjd0o1_500.gif ]

“Show us the best you can do, I know you’re such a push-over,” Clappy tormented.

[Trophy: Wow, "tormented". I can't stand by this and must root for ACS to succeed against this intimidating bully.]

[Hayden: ACS is a push-under.]

[OMJ: Clappy the Tormentor, FIST OF FATE!]

[Steel: After all the times that I wrote you like a coward in this story, I hope this makes you feel any satisfied, Claps.]

”Well of course this is a challenge. You assholes couldn’t last in the first round!” ACS continued, “Now…XTM, World Travel, kill those SBC hooligans!”

[OMJ: RAPSCALLIONS!]

[ACS: *old-timey music playing in the background* You scallywags shall not triumph over my astonishing masterplan!]

[Hayden: The kind of hooligan an SBCer is:

733Wn84.jpg?1 ]

From one of the doors, XTM and World Travel were walking to the members.

[Hayden: Take your time, I'm sure they'll appreciate not being caught off guard.]

“Hold on to your swords…” said Metal Snake.

[OMJ: Oh shit, they're walking into a 2-on-Fuck All battle! The situation is getting tense!]

XTM and World Travel stopped when they got as close as possible…

[OMJ: I'm just gonna assume nose to nose, it's a lot more funnier that way.]

[Hayden: Close as possible to which member? Unless all of SBC is sandwiched together like a mega robot.]

[Steel: They're the kind of people who can't commence a duel until they see their enemies up close. Were all the members wearing cologne once they started raiding ACS' headquarters and that the minions wanted a sniff?]

then horrifying when they start to attack.

[Trophy: "Then horrifying" What? Jeez, is this what SOF contributed?]

[OMJ: I'd be horrified if I was ACS knowing that this is my last line of defense.]

[Hayden: But they still have nothing on 4Ever's satanic possession.]

[Steel: Their fight isn't as horrifying as that little spelling mistake.]

[SOF: This chapter is pretty horrifying in how bad it is, so maybe this strange sentence has some accuracy to it.]

“Let’s fight these fuckers!” Dragiiin said.

[Hayden: *virgins]

[OMJ: Good ole SBC, fighting unfair battles with ACS since 2011.]

In a sword clash fight, 

[OMJ: Just "sword fight" wasn't enough for you? You had to make it somehow seem less impactful yet more stupid at the same time?]

[Hayden: Clashy clashy, flashy flashy.]

[Steel: No items. Meta Knight only.]

the SBC members were beating down World Travel and XTM. Surprisingly enough, the two minions also had swords. 

[OMJ: Yeah, I expected them to have wings or propellers at least.]

[Hayden: They brought weapons to a weapon fight?!]

[SOF: What the hell is so "surprisingly" about that reveal? Pretty sure anybody could've assumed they'd have weapons (!).]

[Steel: Yeah, let's just give them swords, because....say with me:

CONVENIENCE!]

In a matter of time, the clashing lasted for about a minute and Jelly, Clappy, Fa, and teenj’s swords have been dropped. Everybody else was still confident. 

[SOF: Some "clash" that was.]

[OMJ: So, were their swords dropped because they were that damn cocky or did they actually somehow got their asses handed to them?]

[Steel: How would XTM and World Travel have the upper-hand if they were supposedly fighting against at least more than 15 SBC members at once?]

[Hayden: Why didn't they pick the swords up? To make a sentence like this we'd have to assume XTM and World Tour murdered or injured them, but it doesn't state that. If you aren't willing to get graphic, it makes these four users look like total dopes for just deciding to call it a day.]

Steel was still fighting strong until his sword flipped and was yards away from the battleground.

[OMJ: What the hell is this, Nidhogg? No, actually, that's an infinitely better sword fight simulator than this.]

[Steel: My fictionalized self may not be the best fighter, but he seems pretty skilled in sword tossing.]

Ex finishes it off with his machine gun as he shoots around killing World Travel and XTM.

[Hayden: Not exactly a fate those two bastards deserved given their previous characterization.]

[OMJ: Great, now we look like a bunch of cheating bitch asses who couldn't even take ACS in a 2-on-Fuck All situation!]

[Steel: Hey, I thought I kicked you, boy! Also, a message to my past self: there are other terms for guns, and at least clarify what kind of machine gun he has in hand.]

[SOF: I'm still not sure why we decided to give Ex a machine gun in a MY LITTLE PONY story, but alright. RIP ACS and ACS.]

“Seriously, shouldn’t that be so hard?” Ex said.

[Trophy: Seriously, can't tell if biting sarcasm or forgot engrish. Trophy said.]

[OMJ: It really shouldn't have been, but you guys suck at fighting.]

[Steel: No, but you made that fight anti-climatic.]

[Hayden: Is Ex angry that they aren't bullet-proof? Also, how the hell does a machine gun represent MLP morals? Especially when last time they came up with a different way to slay the army without violence.]

“Good point,” said Pakasa.

[OMJ: At least Pakasa agrees with me!]

[DSotH!Steel: Golly, Pakasa said something! Now be a good boy and remain silent.]

“Oh I hate it when I lose some more minions,” said ACS, 

[ACS: Curses. Foiled again.]

[Hayden: Despicable You.]

[SOF: Don't worry, you can easily create more duplicates of yourself to replace them.]

“You guys are tough, but I when I show myself…oh, I am the toughest! 

[OMJ: Well, at least THIS seems accurately pathetic.]

[SOF: Are you tough enough to enter the Salty Spittoon though?]

[Trophy: Show myself? Toughest? Well finally, someone's daring in this show!]

Now are you all ready for round number two?”

[SOF: No.]

[OMJ: What is this, a horde mode but the hordes are all ACS?]

[Hayden: I forget what other two he even has.]

[Steel: I don't think so. It must really stink.]

“Meh, no thanks,” said 70s.

[OMJ: My sentiments exactly.]

[Hayden: tenor.gif ]

The floor the SBC members were standing on turns into an instant trapdoor, making them fall from that height.

[SOF: Dammit, I just said I wasn't ready! Oh well, maybe the fall will kill them and end this lit prematurely. Wishful thinking.]

[OMJ: It just wouldn't be a 2011 SBC Lit without Spongebobiscool! Is round two making them sing for their lives?]

[Steel: Okay, trapdoors, I think that's like the 500th cartoon villain trope I've used for ACS.]

[Hayden: That alone is the best way to kill them all if what's waiting at the bottom is hazardous instead of your goons.]

”So how long are we going to fall like this?” Jelly questioned.

[Trophy: Completely monotonous-no wait, this is like the first time where he hasn't used "said" to describe a characters dialogue!]

[Hayden: These characters really hate to seem living, even if it's fictitiously.] 

[OMJ: I'd be totally fine with the story ending at just this. Please. Let this be it!]

[SOF: I wish OMJ. :(

“It looks like ACS is not listening to that statement this time,” said SpongeSebastian.

[Hayden: I'm not sure how ACS would hear it.]

[OMJ: Hmm, then lets try another statement! "So how long until this story's over?"]

[Steel: It's funny because ACS "totally" had nothing better to do than rile on SBC.]

[SOF: I don't think there's ever any time ACS would listen to you.]

”And what are we suppose to do?” CDCB asked.

[OMJ: Totally botched these quotations. Don't think I didn't see that!]

[Steel: Do any of you have any idea that you're all falling from a trapdoor?]

[Hayden: At least sing a little!

]

”It looks like we’re going to take a splat on that basement floor in a few seconds,” said teenj.

[SOF: Thanks for making that clear to us, teenj.]

[OMJ: I'd get after him for the monotone over the severity of this situation, but if I were faced with certain 9 hours of televisual death, that'd be my mood too.]

[Hayden: I'd spend my last few moments spouting exposition.]

“Goodness gracious Captain Ob-“Dragiiin said sarcastically until they were smacked on the ground.

[Steel: And so they plummeted to their deaths.

The end.]

[Hayden: We'll never know how that sentence ended. Wasn't obvious enough.]

They were surprisingly still alive.

[OMJ: OH, WILL YOU ALL JUST DIE AND END THE STORY ALREADY!]

[Steel: Oh, come on! That fall would've killed them!]

[Hayden: No full body casts either?]

[SOF: How is it "surprisingly"? Pretty sure nobody in the audience thought for one second they were going to die, especially when there's a part 7. Stop with the "surprises" when there are none!]

”Excuse me for this one moment,” Steel said and breathes in, “WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD? Things are going real smooth and convenient; I mean….the logic doesn’t seem to make sense anymore! This isn’t a dream, but it must be some endless fantasy from an unknown force, how much more messed up can things possibly…”

[OMJ: Is this social commentary on my almost exact feelings toward this story, in a cosmic sorta way?]

[SOF: I'm not sure whether to agree with him or be completely confused at how this breakdown was randomly thrown at us.]

[Hayden: Legitimately thought I was reading another Steel rant riff and didn't notice it was part of the dialogue. Did Steel get in a time machine and edit that paragraph?]

[Steel: Somebody give my fictionalized self an Oscar for delivering that intense emotional breakdown. But that's not all I have to say regarding that "meltdown," cuz' allow me to point out that it CAME OUT OF NOWHERE. Second of all, even my character seems to be self-aware, as if I didn't already go through times where the other SBC members said that this whole quest for retrieving the elements is utterly pointless. If this story isn't just some kind of fever dream, then there shouldn't be anything logical about whatever is going on in this story. You know it's messed up, even when my own character acknowledges how messed up it is.]

“Relax Steel,” said Jjs.

[Steel: No need to worry, I was just done with my rambling.]

[Hayden: Control your emotions in the face of the grim reaper like they all just did.]

”And screw logic, it won’t matter after we beat ACS in no time!” OMJ said.

[OMJ: Jjs, could you kindly tell this asshat to shut the fuck up too?]

[Steel: Dark Side of the Herd: Screw logic! That should be its slogan.]

[Hayden: So after they defeat ACS, it won't matter if the basic principles of the universe no longer apply?]

Suddenly, the SBC members were automatically tied up in chains to the walls, and traps around the room were being activated.

[OMJ: So, they've been automatically chained up to walls and after THAT is when all the traps decide to activate?]

[Hayden: Yup, the trap wasn't the actual trap.]

[Steel: What do you know, technology has created self-squeezing and self-attaching chains.]

“So this is Round 2…” said SOF.

[Steel: Bondage, it seems.]

[Hayden: 50 Shades of ACS.]

[SOF: Yes, yes it is SOF.]

[Trophy: Tickle torture most likely.]

[OMJ: Forcing to read this story most likely.]

Falling rocks, spiders, and snakes were part of the traps.

[Trophy: Ooooh, ACS must've taken some advice from Monokuma!]

[SOF: Can you get any more cliche? Throw in rising water while you're at it.]

[OMJ: Well, they've already been tied up to the wall. Now it just looks like he's killing his own traps.]

[Hayden: The rocks will hit the chains and set them free.]

[Steel: Rocks and spiders and snakes? Oh my!]

“You know, I was expecting much more, speaking of the fact that ACS would go too far,” said Elastic.

[OMJ: Yeah, I was expecting a hydrogen bomb.]

[Hayden: Snakes and spiders might not even be poisonous.]

“I hate spiders…” said Clappy.

”I hate every obstacle here,” said Steel.

[OMJ: I hate kids with funny accents.]

[Hayden: I hate the feeling of hate.]

[SOF: I hate this lit.]

[Steel: I Hate Everything approved.]

“Maybe there’s a key somewhere in the walls,” said hilaryfan80.

[OMJ: No way. That can't really be-]

[Steel: Are we really going with this cliche?]

[Hayden: The key being in your ass would be more believable.]

“Bingo!” SOF said when he saw one.

[OMJ: ...I am so glad this is my last riff.]

[Hayden: Maybe SOF just saw a game of Bingo in the wall that they can pass the time with.]

[Steel: Oh yes, what are the odds that a key would be stored against the wall? You expect a key to be hanging from the ceiling? Just leave it up to the laws of....

CONVENIENCE!]

“So ACS is still a push-over,” said CDCB.

[Hayden: A push-over still doesn't leave the means of escape right next to the prisoners. Good lord, shut up.]

One of the SBC members tries to grab the key from the right-side of the wall.

[SOF: Which SBC member? Is this story getting so lazy it can't even properly name us?]

OMJ was the closest, reaches it, and sets himself and every other SBC member free from the clutches.

[OMJ: Bonafide badass right here.]

[SOF: Oh, okay. Well that was easy. So are there ever going to be any actual stakes in this or nah?]

[Hayden: d97.gif ]

[Trophy: This is a more effective trap:

XXwZZJ3.jpg?1  ]

“And we happen to be on the floor…filled with obstacles,” said SpongeSebastian.

[OMJ: Yeah, just look at all those squished snakes and spiders.]

[Hayden: Oops, should've sent all the rocks down first.]

[SOF: Thanks for pointing out the obvious...again. Is that Seb's only role in these literatures?]

“Spiders, punch em’!” OMJ exclaimed and starts punching spiders, “Snakes, you want some too?” He proceeds punching until they became tiresome.

[Hayden: *Spiders and snakes bite OMJ's knuckle*]

[OMJ: Who the fuck am I, Drax?]

[Steel: Given by the reference, you're the Angry Video Game Nerd, apparently.]

“We have to get out of here, there’s still falling rocks,” CF said.

[OMJ: No, please, stand where you are.]

[Hayden: *rocks proceed to knock everyone into a coma as everyone gets bloody bruises on their heads*]

[SOF: Those rocks are probably more menacing than our so-called "villains".]

[Steel: Rocks, ya' better sock it to 'em too!]

“No kidding,” Said Steel, “That door over is almost blocked.”

[Hayden: It'd be completely blocked if he was actually TRYING TO KILL YOU.]

[SOF: Only almost? ACS was too lazy to even fully block an exit? Guess he was too busy setting up the spiders, snakes, and rocks.]

The SBC members rush out of the second known area of ACS’ lair and forge on to the next room.

[OMJ: Otherwise known as the fifth known area of ACS' lair if we're counting both the security and control room separately.]

“Okay, so what do you have for round 3, ACS?” SOF said.

[SOF: Something dull.]

“Round 3, oh I will tell you what round 3 is definitely,” said ACS.

[OMJ: So slightly less rigmarole?]

[Hayden: giphy.gif ]

ACS steps out from the control room and enters the room where the SBC members have made it to. ACS was shown with 4 swords as his weaponry. He stands on a platform and plummets to a higher view.

[OMJ: So he plummeted...upward?]

[Hayden: He better hope his little trap door trick left them defenseless of things to counter swords.]

[SOF: ACS is holding four swords at once? Did he turn into General Grevious, or can he somehow fight with two swords in each hand?]

[Steel: You know what the story says: screw logic!]

“I challenge you to a battle!” ACS exclaimed.

[Hayden: You're going to use 4 swords simultaneously? That sounds like more trouble than you may think.]

“What about the other two minions?” Deli questioned.

[OMJ: Well, I'm glad you remembered because I sure didn't. :bruh: ]

[SOF: What minions? This story is too damn vague at times. He's referring to Lew and Goosey for those confused (even though Goosey jumped off the mountain and should have been presumed dead...), but it wouldn't have been hard to say their names, unless they were that much of an afterthought to Steel and I. Although, this line isn't pointless because...well, you'll see.]

“Those guys…well; they seem useless right now, so it’s just me!” ACS said.

[Hayden: The other two henchmen were fake news!]

[Trophy: Meh, fair enough, they've bs'd their way that far, makes sense to go after them himself and save those two for later instead of charging in with them.]

[OMJ: He probably ate them.]

[SOF: At least ACS was honest how Goosey and Lew have contributed nothing to the story so far.]

[Steel: I thought it was because they got walloped by Ex's "machine gun." Of course, I haven't forgotten about MarioOrangeDash and Goosey though.]

“Wow, just wow,” said SpongeSebastian.

[Hayden: giphy.gif ]

“Enough talk, let’s fight!” ACS said.

[OMJ: I see you forgot your quotations over 'fight' there. :bruh: ]

“We’re going to kick your ass!” Ex exclaimed and prepared his machine gun while everybody else was beginning to use their swords.

[OMJ: Moral of the story, always bring a gun to a sword fight.]

[Hayden: At least make the fall smash the machine gun. Ex thinks he's so hot with his illegal items. I wouldn't play Smash with him.]

As usual

[SOF: What a way to draw us in.]

the members began slashing away while Ex shoots at ACS, but unfortunately, his telekinetic 4-swords attracted them, and ACS began multitasking with these weapons and creating intense damage.

[Trophy: Such....detail.....]

[OMJ: Intense damage, how? Getting dirt on their clothes?]

[Hayden: The 4 swords are telekinetic? What the fuck is he? A Mega Alakazam?]

[SOF: ACS' swords are telekinetic? Ass pull much?!]

[Steel: ACS would've probably been beaten to the ground by now if he's not using one of his extrasensory perceptive swords to block his own body.]

“No fair!” CDCB said.

[Hayden: tumblr_lzpq1wueei1rq535ko1_400.gif ]

[OMJ: Well, this is, in fact, a 1-on-Fuck All situation this time, so the odds are most definitely in your favor.]

“Life and SBC isn’t fair! I have the powers and I can do whatever I want, I could easily win this!” ACS said.

[Steel: ...as typed by the generic villainous dialogue generator.]

[Trophy: Then win already!]

[Hayden: Life is SBC.]

[OMJ: Well, with how crappy they fight, you should, but you probably won't.]

“I don’t think you have the balls,” said hilaryfan80.

[OMJ: OOOH BUUUURRRNNNN!]

[Steel: Given that hilaryfan80 quipped about Goosey "committing suicide" earlier in the story, hilaryfan80 really does show no mercy. Yep, that totally sounds like hilaryfan80, alright.]

[Hayden: Well, ACS has most certainly shown he has stones.]

ACS gives his weaponry a test and uses his 4-swords to zap hilaryfan80 into oblivion or so.

[Trophy: Honestly, hilaryfan80 deserved it. No redeeming character traits to make me feel sad at fucking all. This is abysmal.]

[OMJ: "Into oblivion or so"? Lolwut the fuck.]

[Steel: The Lit doesn't want to give us the idea that it just killed hilaryfan80.]

[Hayden: Let's cut to a side plot of hilaryfan80 in oblivion. or so. Whichever one hilaryfan80's at.]

[SOF: ...So hilaryfan80 just died? What the hell? That was so lame and out of nowhere. Of course, it's not permanent, but still, that could've been written much better if it was supposed to be serious.]

“What did you do to hilaryfan80, or where is he? I can’t seem to think around here…” said Steel.

[OMJ: I'm assuming this is how you were writing this scene too.]

[Hayden: But most notably, Steel doesn't remember how to feel around here.]

[SOF: Steel is the only one who cares what happened to hilaryfan80 it seems.]

ACS then uses his 4-swords again, but misses everybody.

[Trophy: They didn't even dodge...he just conveniently misses after perfectly getting hilaryfan80.]

“Stand back, for I am Old Man Jenkins,” said OMJ, 

[OMJ: Way to completely rape 2011!me of all his badass-ness.]

[Hayden: You appear to be lost, old man.

hqdefault.jpg ]

but unfortunately gets slashed away by one of the attached swords ACS used.

[OMJ: That abomination fucking deserved it. Yes, I am actually rooting for ACS over myself.]

[Steel: That lasted as long as hilaryfan80 trying to fight ACS off. Weak, indeed.]

[Hayden: So does he have an open wound or did the sword just knock him on his ass? Clarification, I'm sure they can all be brought back to life by the end with some new BS friendship rule, so go all out.]

[SOF: I know a fight is supposed to be happening, but this is so goddamn boring and lame. I don't think once throughout the "fight" an SBCer has truly been a "badass", except Ex and his magic machine gun.]

“You dare own OMJ like that? I AM GOING TO BACKTRACE YOU TO THE CYBERPOLICE!” Jelly exclaimed, and dodges away from ACS’ weapons, unable to him.

[Trophy: Pfffftt whaatt, even back in 2011 nobody would say that out loud.]

[Steel: "Unable to him..." sure she was, whatever that meant. Also, here's yet another message to my past self: get a dictionary and learn what it means to use "backtrace" as a verb.]

[Hayden: Yeah! Trace that back and give ACS a nice massage!]

“Yeah, go Jelly!” Clappy said.

[OMJ: Yeah! You go at doing nothing, girl!]

[Hayden: With Peanut Butter, this would be over in a Jiffy.]

“I can’t seem to hit him,” said Jelly.

[Trophy: Backtrace doesn't mean you go backwards from making this anything interesting.]

[OMJ: I guess even 11 year old ACS was taller than her back then.]

[Steel: She probably doesn't have the audacity to hit an 11 year old with a sword, but who actually would?]

[Hayden: latest?cb=20130728053816 ]

“Feeling underestimated yet?” ACS said.

[OMJ: What? The huge comeback hasn't even happened yet to warrant that.]

[Hayden: Yippee, another weird sentence. Did you mean she's underestimating you or losing her willpower?]

Jelly then backs away and almost gets hit by ACS’ attracted swords. 

[OMJ: I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. His swords wanna fuck Jelly.]

[Hayden: JCM, that's gross.]

Tvguy decided to go up next and face ACS. ACS uses his 4-swords 

[OMJ: The Legend of Amphitrite: 4-Swords Adventures, the next big SBC lit, I just know it.]

to try to blind him, only to cure his Poison Joke effect.

[OMJ: Oh, that was still a thing? :bruh: ]

[Hayden: We really need an "ACS inadvertently helps them" counter.]

[Steel: tvguy was blind? Oh wait, I actually skipped on riffing part 5, that would've let me know otherwise that he was under the effects of Poison Joke. But hey, here's a solid reminder that tvguy is part of this story.]

[SOF: I actually forgot tvguy was blind too, whoops. And it gets resolved with an ass pull, yay!]

“Hey I can see-“said tvguy. 

[OMJ: i-can-see.gif ]

He was interrupted as he later gets zapped by his 4-swords.

[OMJ: RBk5fPC.png?1 ]

“That’s impossible…he pummeled hilaryfan80 and tvguy…” said SOF.

[OMJ: Wouldn't exactly call zapping people into oblivion or so "pummeling".]

[Hayden: SOF is either trying to censor events or the poor lad still hasn't faced the harsh realities of existence. Who wants to give him the talk? :( ]

[Steel: That's what happens when you're doing nothing but standing around and making points.]

“We’re not going down without a fight!” Ex and avoids ACS as possible while throwing kicks and punches quite successfully. ACS then flies ACS around by hanging one of his swords through part of his shirt. “Damn it…”

[Trophy: Maybe you shouldn't fly around yourse- I can't even tell if the speaker changed what the hell!??!]

[OMJ: I'm just imagining ACS flying himself like an paper plane or so.]

[Steel: If ACS is somehow fighting himself too, then there's no way that this all can't be a fever dream.]

[Hayden: ACS could be fighting himself and I'd still buy SBC losing.]

“I’ll do it, for the community!” Clappy said, and gets pointed by ACS’ many swords. Clappy tries budging until one was near his neck. Clappy slides down and moves away from ACS with a black flip.

[OMJ: ...Did he learn that from Kat? :funny: ]

[Steel: How about that.]

[Hayden: YurvLWm.gif ]

“Nice moves,” said Metal Snake and faces ACS, his telekinesis powers hits Metal Snake across to a wall, but with no serious injuries or some sort.

[OMJ: What the fuck are with these descriptions, mang?]

[SOF: What's a "some sort"? Didn't know that was an alternative to a serious injury.]

[Hayden: ACS really picks and chooses who he wrecks, despite hating us all equally.]

“This is bad,” SpongeSebastian thought. He goes in front of ACS and dodges his attached swords and 4-swords. 

[OMJ: They were two separate things this whole time?!]

[Steel: I think those other swords are just for decoration.]

[SOF: How many swords are there?!]

[Hayden: When are these dumbfucks all going to charge him at the same time? USE YOUR NUMBERS!]

SpongeSeb gives out a simple fist shot,

[OMJ: Whatever the hell that is, I'll just imagine him shooting out a closed fist like a rocket from all the carpal tunnel.]

[Seb: Gomu Gomu no Rocket!]

but gets fired up to the ceiling with ACS’ telekinesis. “Guys, I think the darkness is getting worse…”

[OMJ: Hey, that's no way to speak of DarknessDG!]

[Hayden: Even if she's getting worse enough at WOF to be tied with me!]

“You can’t do this ACS,” said CF.

[Hayden: CF is trying to be the ACS whisperer.]

“Try me,” said ACS. “I’d be crusing on my keyboard.”

“Is that supposed to be a joke by me? Because I’m not laughing,” said SOF, 

[OMJ: GOTTA MAKE SOF LOOK STRONG!]

[SOF: Neither am I, so we can agree for once there, boring version of SOF.]

[Hayden: The SOF I know actively tries to bank off his catchphrases!]

[Steel: It took him a bad nod to one of his typo jokes to get him fighting.]

he was about to get hit by the 4-swords but it missed. SOF tried basic attacks and grabbing one sword back, but it was no use.

[Trophy: Self-awareness. Isn't. Always. Funny.]

[SOF: At least I tried. Also, lol at "but it was no use". The narrator is giving up.]

[Steel: One line too late, buddy, but on another note, it's not even surprising anymore that ACS is still having the upper-hand and dodging attacks.]

“Hey Jelly,” said ACS.

“What?”

“ACS IS CALLING YOU OUT FOR FUCK’S SAKE,” ACS answered.

[OMJ: THIS IS A SERIOUS THREAT TO OUR SURVIVAL!]

[Hayden: Damn. All that call-out. So much insult and exposing of Jelly's username.]

[Steel: Can't have anyone forget that this is an SBC Lit by randomly shooting away any SBC references.]

“Great, he’s gone from fighting to tormenting. 

[OMJ: What? I thought that was already Clappy's character in this story?]

[Hayden: One instance of ear rape is not more torment than being electrocuted.]

[Steel: Then why aren't you continuing to fight? The fact that ACS is taking his time to torment already means that his guard's down!]

I’ll take care of this,” said Wumbo and tries to attack ACS, but was blocked by the attached swords.

[OMJ: Square Enix got nothing on this boss battle.]

[Hayden: NOW WHERE HAVE I SEEN THIS SCENE BEFORE?]
[Steel: GHoUgjG.png?1]

“Not today,” said ACS 

[OMJ: tumblr_miw7mpjIsp1rmazn7o1_500.gif ]

[Hayden: So you're saying there's a chance tomorrow?]

and attacks him multiple times with his swords, but of course, Wumbo misses the 4-swords.

“Damn, Wumbo too?” Fa said, 

[OMJ: That actually sounded as if Wumbo dodged the attack, but w'ever.]

“Come get some! I have only bare hands, but a noob like you should be already down!”

[OMJ: Any SpongeBob fan with two hands has a fighting chance.]

“Read come as “cum,” so sorry-“

[Trophy: I'm sorry that we at JRT have to leave this in, but how is he reading anything!??!?!?!?!!]

[SOF: Trophy is right, how is he reading what he's saying? I thought they were in real life the whole time? o_O]

[Hayden: This entire thing has been an online RPG quest.]

[Steel: Can I just...lock this Lit away in the vault now? I mean, it was merely a bad joke, but the fact that I had to read through such an awful joke should be a good enough excuse for why we shouldn't continue reading this!]

said ACS, and the quickly annoyed Fa punches through. Afterwards, he blocks by swinging his 4-swords. Of course, Fa avoided it.

[OMJ: Of course.]

[Steel: M. Bison quote.]

[Hayden: If several characters have been hit by it, how is it such a done deal for Fa?]

“He’s so strong, and we have to make sure none of us touches those quad swords,” said Steel.

“You started it all, do something!” 70s said.

[SOF: You could try too, 70s.]

“I don’t know, maybe Dragiiin has the upper-hand,” said Steel.

[Steel: ACS overpowers him, ACS overpowers him, ACS overpowers him...]

“You’re going down, douchebag,” said Dragiiin and prepares to attack, only to be prevented from ACS with his weaponry. “Aw fuck it.”

[OMJ: Aw fuck this fight already.]

[Hayden: Starting to wish this fight would end in a paragraph where it had a list of every SBCer that ACS one-shotted. First it's too little action, then it's too much of different members failing the same way.]

[Steel: How many more attacks in which they fail to hit ACS until he actually goes down in the dust? This fight isn't even trying to feel any less dull, it's just padding things out.]

[SOF: This fight is still going? Can something exciting happen?]

“You stole my machine gun, prepare to die,” said Ex, 

[OMJ: Haha. Princess Bride. That's something I'd rather watch right now.]

[Hayden: If he stole that, he can steal every sword and make it a 20 sword monster.]

whilst dodging the incoming bullets from the attached gun, 

[OMJ: He has a fucking emotionally attached gun now?]

[Hayden: Question time. Why isn't SBC drawing power from their five elements? The element of Magic seems like the only useful one.]

he tries using the basic attacks, but didn’t work as usual. 

[OMJ: As usual.]

[Steel: Padding as usual.]

[Hayden: What are the basic attacks?!]

[SOF: Even the narrator is getting tired of this boring, repetitive fighting...seriously, DO SOMETHING!]

“Since when did he become ACS the untouchable?”

[OMJ: That's a good one. I should add that to the list of things that should've never been a thing to begin with right away!]
[Steel: It's probably because you guys can't fight worth a darn.]

“Maybe we should give up,” said Pakasa.

[OMJ: Why is it that Pakasa here is always the one speaking some sense? Makes me miss this muh'fucka.]

[Hayden: Time to Paka his bags.]

“Pakasa, you’re fired,” said Steel.

[SOF: Easy there, Trump.]

[OMJ: Ssj? When did you come into this story? And please, feel free to read that as "cum".]

[Hayden: Best firing Pakasa has ever had. Better than frying.]

[DSotH!Steel: I thought I told you to remain silent for the rest of the story! Now go back home and think about what you did!]

“Now, how are we going to own this….bastard?”

[SOF: We got a badass.]

[OMJ: I sure hope you didn't hurt your brain coming up with that.]

“Admit it, I’m stronger than you all, and SBC is finished!” ACS said.

[OMJ: Six years later, and we're still parodying you in lits.]

[Hayden: Adult ACS is hatching a long-game as we speak. We're not out of the woods.]

“So is the world, good going villain,” said CDCB.

[OMJ: Quick, now's your chance to defeat him with one of your captivating bad joke threads!]

[Steel: Yeah, tell it to him! We're all going to die, anyways!]

[Hayden: Nice sarcasm, but mocking the villain is better saved for when they're losing.]

“I don’t care, I want everybody to love, honor, and respect me,” said ACS.

[Hayden: giphy.gif ]

[Trophy: And that'll only work if everybody is himself? Seems to work out.]
[OMJ: Well, he and his team already operate like such a hive mind as it is.]

”Hey, I think I’ve thought about his true weakness,” said Steel.

[OMJ: Which I shall now sloppily write into this climax! And feel free to read that the wrong way.]

[Hayden: His true weakness is a self-insert author that can bend the playing field however he chooses fit.]

[Steel: Ohhhh, this part was just waiting for the one cliche climax plot in which the SBC members suddenly figure out how to defeat ACS after spending most of the fight getting curb-stopped! Why didn't I think of it before? I was so focused on the ridiculous pace of that "fight."]

“That is unless you can’t touch him,” said OMJ, “so is it the Elements of Harmony, General Steel?”

[OMJ: Oh god, don't remind of that goddamn phase.]

[Steel: Ohhhh, and that "true weakness" just so happens to be the MacGuffins that the characters spent four separate parts scavenging for! I guess there was no real need to fight, huh?]

[Hayden: tumblr_lntwpaW4vi1qcwrtdo1_400.gif ]

“Yes, even the truth once ACS backs away from our view,” said Steel. ACS moves away to reveal a shrine of MLP: FiM junk. 

[OMJ: Not even memorabilia or merchandise, just junk.]

[SOF: What kind of MLP "junk" exactly?]

[Hayden: A true Brony wouldn't describe it that way. Poser!]

“For all the time we’ve been hiking up here, it’s come to the truth that ACS is a brony!”

[Trophy: ...........But..........that doesn't change anything? Where was this shrine and how was he in front of it the entire damn ti-oh forget it.]

[Steel: *Slow claps for that intriguing plot twist*]

[OMJ: And why does it matter if he's a brony? How is that a weakness- oh wait, everybody else here fighting him is supposedly a brony and they're all getting their asses handed to em so now that it’s been revealed that ACS is one too, he shall henceforth get his ass handed to him. I gotcha!]

[Hayden: But if ACS is a Brony, that means they can't hurt their own kind! Wah wah wah.]

[SOF: Meh, I don't mind this plot twist even if it doesn't make much sense. But maybe I'm being generous because of the much worse plot twist that's coming up...]

With that, Deli then does Rarity’s wonky faint.

[OMJ: So Deli has been in a coma for the past 5 or 6 years? Sounds plausible.]

[Steel: Now's still not the time for making MLP references.]

[Hayden: Deli-te this.]

[SOF: Yay, MLP reference. Almost forgot what this was supposed to be.]

“Plus, there’s 6 Elements of Harmony, it’s been 6 hours the darkness has been spread, and ACS has done over 6 attempts MLP related to slow us down. So he must also be a devil brony!” Steel said. Deli then does the same.

[Trophy: This was so bad, fainted Deli fainted.]

[OMJ: ...this story is definitely the work of the devil, alright.]

[Steel: *slow claps once more for how this plot thread, referencing the number of the beast, adds up to the intriguing plot twist*]

[SOF: I always knew ACS was a devil, but damn.]

“It’s all a lie, somepony else in this lair must love it!” ACS said and looks back at his sentence.

[Trophy: Maybe you shouldn't put it out there with a shit ton of glitter glue.]

[OMJ: Bad puns! His only weakness!]

[Hayden: He looked back at it so we're in a chat log. THIS WHOLE LAIR IS A FARCE!]

[Steel: Can't have our basic Saturday Morning Cartoon without ACS revealing his weakness in denial.]

“It’s over now ACS; now give me the last element!” Steel said and fights ACS for it.

[OMJ: GOTTA MAKE STEEL LOOK STRONG!]

[Hayden: Struggling to see how what was revealed makes Steel on par with his opponent. Somepony besides Pakasa needs to be fired.]

Throughout, ACS switches hands on holding the final element while trying to beat Steel with his multiple swords. 

[OMJ: a36.jpg ]

[Hayden: Resist the dicks.]

Steel didn’t give up and retrieved the last element.

[SOF: That was fast. But after all the boring fighting, maybe that's for the best?]

[Hayden: Where was ACS keeping that? Guess Steel proved he's the wrestling champ of the world.]

[Trophy: The action is still boring enough to fail to convince me on deciphering its ineptitude of giving a clear fight. Yawwwwwwnnn.]

[OMJ: This fight would've taken a half hour on Community Deathmatch, tops.]

[Steel: Everyone else decides to drop like flies but my fictionalized self isn't willing to turn away from a fight. Yep, gotta make myself look strong.]

“Metal Snake has been showing the element of generosity with his mind on that simple decision. CF is one of the nicest members around, hence the element of kindness. Elastic doesn’t turn away, as he’s the element of loyalty. SpongeSebastian obviously gave out the honest truth, the element of honesty. OMJ has persuaded to laugh at danger and he’s pretty humorous himself, the element of laughter. 

[OMJ: Why sir, I'd be more flattered coming from someone else.]

[Hayden: Enough lip service, we know this grand recap is just a build-up to you being on top of the social pyramid.]

And the last element, I have the element of magic!

[SOF: And yup, Steel is apparently the "hero" after all.]

[OMJ: Oh, no need to give us the brief reason as to why you got it like you did with everybody else. I got it loud and clear, GOTTA MAKE STEEL LOOK STRONG!]

[Steel: GOTTA MAKE MY OWN SELF LOOK STRONG AND HIS ATTRIBUTION TO THE ELEMENT OF MAGIC APPEAR CIRCUMSTANTIAL CUZ' MAIN CHARACTER COMPLEX.]

And together we are Voltron!”

[Steel: Plz no.]

[SOF: We're going to force Voltron into this too!?]

“No we’re not,” said Elastic

[Steel: Thanks.]

[SOF: Whew.]

[OMJ: Devilman, then?]

“Say your prayers ACS; you cannot defeat the power of friendship!” Steel said.

[ACS: 402.gif ]

[Hayden: No mercy for the guy in the closet.]

With a powerful blast coming at ACS from the flashing of the necklaces and tiara, ACS was vanquished and turned into stone.

[SOF: Haha, just like in Part 2 of the MLP Season 2 Premiere! Thanks for reminding me of something I'd rather be watching.]

[Trophy: Haha, it's hilariously ironic because the devil brony got turned to stone because he couldn't learn from the show to be magically the best friend ever.]

[OMJ: Ah, good, good. Now, is somebody gonna tip him over?]

[Hayden: Then he'd be a falling rock. (smirk)

[Steel: Not if Princess Celestia gives us a separate storyline in which we try to redeem him.]

“That was awesome!” Sabre said.

[OMJ: Thank you for your irrelevant opinion.]

[Hayden: I don't remember Sabre even attacking ACS.]

“The best part is, ACS won’t be wondering about anymore,” said Ex.

[SOF: I don't think he can wonder about anything.]

[Hayden: Ex is being stone cold about this whole ordeal.]

[Trophy: I'm wondering if SOF really had no involvement with the writing at all.]

[Steel: He didn't have any involvement with the writing, and that's what makes the writing for this miniseries look fairly surprising.]

[OMJ: Won't be wondering about WHAT?! Don't you dare leave this as a cliffhanger!]

“Is he dead?” Deli asked.

[OMJ: No, but I thought you were.]

[Steel: No, but he sure is stoned.

"CARLOS!"]

[SOF: *insert NC reference here*]

The ACS statue was tipped over, to be knocked down and crumbled into pieces. “Yeah, he’s dead.” Goosey said, suddenly appearing. 

[OMJ: Wow, I didn't think you'd actually do that. :Laugh:  ]

[Hayden: tenor.gif ]

[Steel: You guys can already tell, but this is where the "real, exciting plot twist" gets underway.]

[SOF: RIP ACS. Since the main villain is dead, the lit should've ended here, right? Nope, sadly. Oh jeez folks. We're finally here...we've reached this point. Get ready for the worst plot twist of the entire literature.....]

“I was really sick of his commands anyway.

“Goosey?” SOF said.

[Hayden: He's on the loosey.]

[OMJ: The sexual tension is off the charts.]

[SOF: Not sure how you survived jumping off a mountain, but hey.]

“Now what, the darkness is still there, did we forget anything?” Steel questioned.

[OMJ: Too much to list here.]

“Hey, why am I still alive!?” World Travel said randomly popping up and momentarily becomes dead once Ex picks up the machine gun from the pile of weapons.

[SOF: Even World Travel didn't want to be a part of this, can't blame him.]

[Trophy: ......momentarily becomes dead....MOMENTARILY BECOMES DEAD AFTER BECOMING ALIVE JUST BY THE MACHINE GUN BEING TOUCHED, WOW! That is not a good revival potion-whatever the fuck it was, if he didn't even take a bullet.]

[OMJ: If he's momentarily dead, then that means he'll pop right back up and the darkness will still be here. I'm starting to think Steel/SOF added such words like that and "or so" in just to increase the word count and somehow seem smarter with their advanced vocabulary.]

[Steel: My past self in 2011 tried to convince his readers that he had some extensive wordplay. It's probably why this Lit has some of its fair share of occasional grammar issues.]

“Nope,” Ex replied.

[Hayden: Ex being a remorseless badass is also a trope I'm tired of. Killing World Tour was senseless violence after they already won.]

[SOF: Welp, the "Ex is an asshole" curse has indeed continued. What exactly was the point in killing him? ACS is dead, just get out of there.]

It now shows Rainbow Dash clapping sarcastically and revealing himself in a Shadowbolt outfit.

[OMJ: AAHH, he's gonna cosplay us to death!]

[SOF: Oh hey, Lew still exists.]

[Steel: If you're wondering if this is part of the twist, well, I just forgot to mention that SOF's major contribution as an executive producer was making Goosey the main villain this whole time. Oops, spoilers, but is it worth keeping it a secret, given how horrible this story is?]

[Hayden: SOF really takes his grudges to the next level. I guess the SOF glorification moment is coming next? A 7th element for him?]

“Sorry to ruin the celebration, I just can’t believe you forgot about the true big bad here,” said Rainbow Dash.

[OMJ: Believe me, it was easy to forget. :whitney: ]

[SOF: Considering your lack of focus in this lit, it wasn't very hard to forget about you until now.]

[Hayden: They're kind of like goldfish. You get used to it.]

But we stopped ACS, everything should be fine by now,” said Clappy.

[SOF: I wish...]

[OMJ: Did you not just FUCKING HEAR HIM?]

[Hayden: Never mind, I haven't gotten used to it. :/]

[Steel: Yep, things are definitely a-okay.]

“This is the part where I tell you that I have the Elements of Disharmony!” Rainbow Dash continued, “Besides, ACS was too much of a noob to be the head of this whole thing.

[OMJ: But didn't he join SBC before you?]

Plus, I lied, Goosey is the big bad here, I’m part of the main event.”

[Trophy: ............I really wanna make a witty remark.....but I can't...........]

[OMJ: I sure wish I can come up with twists that are this twisted in DM.]

[Hayden: Steel probably did intend Rainbow Dash as the final boss, but then SOF told Steel that Goosey was more reasonable. Goosey defecting to the protagonists would happen in any other version.]

[Steel: It would make more sense to say that you were just horsing around, than have to waste a few lines of dialogue to put yourself back in the spotlight.]

[SOF: ...Yup, I really regret suggesting this Goosey twist so much. I know it came right the fuck out of nowhere, and completely contradicted everything about him in the past five chapters, considering he didn't even want anything to do with ACS. This "twist" causes the rest of the lit to hit rock bottom, and may be one of the worst twists in an SBC story ever. I'll tear into this more next part however.]

“What are you talking about?” SpongeSebastian asked.

[OMJ: THANK YOU.]

“It’s true, I am the true master of this evil plot, and we’re both going to make you all descend from your triumph,” said Goosey,

[OMJ: Spoiler alert, they make them plummet upwards.]

[Hayden: You know a thing or two about descending, but we've already riffed one death fall with no death too many this chapter.]

“Ain’t that a twist?” He said with an M. Night impression.

[Trophy: But....but.....I still don't care enough.]

[Hayden: SOF has a goose neck to twist.]

[OMJ: Ugh, you used an "i" instead of "ee". Automatic fail.]

[SOF: It's a twist alright...a really terrible and forced one.]

[Steel: NO. NO! You can't possibly get that wrong too, past self! You say it like: "What a twist!" or "What a tweest!" However, it turns out that the real twist here is that you ruined the joke!]

TO BE CONTINUED…

[Steel: Well, what do you know? Goosebumpsfan was the real villain of this miniseries, and like I pointed out before, this idea was conceived by SOF. What a twist. Nothing else to add, besides hyping things up for the final part. The rest of y'all can just wonder what the storyline for the last segment is like, since we're finished with 90% of the central storyline.]

[SOF: This was the most boring chapter yet. 90% dull fighting, with a tacked on end twist to give it another part. I'll save the rest of this rant for 7. You guys are in for a treat with the finale, oh boy...]

[Trophy: Unfortunately it was...the one short af show on here that did have to live up to a finale. Tis a pity.]

[Hayden: Now it's the anniversary of when the most riffs in one day were posted. I'll be back one last time to see SOF/Steel replicate 4Ever's style of passive aggression with Goosey. Also, we'll see if more of the herd is trimmed into oblivion or so.]

[OMJ: Well, good luck with that, guys!

But, to end this on a more serious note, I may not have really read this back when it was still going hot, but I probably would've felt the same about it then as I do now. The plot was forced and choppy, a lot of the characters were one-note, mainly doing nothing and some of them even suffered from Steel and SOF having to make themselves look strong. I can jot this down for Steel as still finding his groove as a writer, because this was back in 2011 and some of the stuff I've read of his in the years after like Underwater Survivor and Steelhorse Deathradish were a lot more decent than this was. The only thing I can really take some enjoyment out of is honestly the over the top, campy af ACS. Definitely one of your weakest works, Steel, but I felt you bounced back from it aight in some of your later ones.]

 

Edited by jjsthekid
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Now that I've been pampered with good fight scenes in SBC stories, I can't help but laugh at one that's as poorly written as the fight scene with ACS. It doesn't work seriously because it's not creative or compelling, and it doesn't work as a joke because it goes on for too long while using the same gag over and over.

I do disagree with this part being boring, because I got many lulzy laughs out of it, but it was indeed pretty damn bad. The first part could have been cut out of the story altogether. Disregarding World Travel and XTM's deaths, it's just filler, and has nothing to do with MLP or the Elements of Harmony. It's about getting out of an Indiana Jones trap. And this came before Daring Do, MLP's Indiana Jones-esque character, was introduced.

Then in the second part, ACS is a brony and they use the Elements of Harmony to defeat him. What? Why were they HORSING AROUND HUH HUH with swords and machine guns when they had the Elements of Harmony?! Why didn't they try stealing the last element to begin with instead of constantly using BASIC ATTACKS? So we could have a forced reference to Satanism? The "ACS is a brony" twist wasn't even foreshadowed. Neither was the end twist with Rainbow Dash being the bad guy. Those twists, however, at least give you the feeling that they were planned. Not like the twist with Goosey, which was just...ass. How's that for an AVGN reference.

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The Dark Side of the Herd

7. Part VII

Spoiler

It's finally over.

[Fred: Wait, that was the last chapter? Wow. That chapter may have been short, but I'd consider it to be the best chapter of the series. But that's probably because it was only one sentence long. So hasta la vista, Dark Side of the Herd!

....yeah, I wish that's how it went. Unfortunately, there are more than that sentence. Let's get this train a-rollin' now.]

[Renegade: Oh, thank God. This shitfest's finally coming to an end.]

[Jjs: Just the way that comes off sounds like even Steel himself wanted to get this over with, can't blame him.]

[Steel: end my suffering plz.]

[SOF: Finally indeed. Welp, we're going to end this with the follow-up to one of the worst plot twists ever...oh boy.]

[Hayden: 0fc9aff951e58dc7b1392d99b9f299e3.gif ]

Dark Side of the Herd: Part VII

[Clappy: The Herd Awakens.]

[Steel: Part VII: STOP right there and let me just warn you guys of what you're going to get in this final part. It's absolute proof of how much of a disaster this miniseries happens to be.

Observe.]

Goosey picks up the 4-swords left behind and says, “You were probably expecting this, since you-know-what happened.”

[Jjs: No, I wasn't expecting this terrible plot twist. Also..."you-know-what happened"? This lit doesn't even care enough to remind us on what previously happened. Just goes to show how little thought, time, and effort was put into it.]

[Clappy: Horrible plot twist aside, Goosey can pick up four swords at once? No, I wasn't expecting him to be a magician.]

[Renegade: I was honestly expecting a Legend of Zelda: Four Swords reference.]

[Fred: Nah, I was expecting The Spanish Inquisition.]

[Steel: Yeah I know you-know-what happened to you-know-who from you-know-when. I read it before from who-even-cares.]

[Hayden: Goosey has no event to refer to specifically. Which is why...

d1a7f29d220936b3904b903f64f758a4.png ]

[SOF: Backstory time. This "reveal" was my idea, which I suggested to Steel due to the feuds I had with Goosey around the time. Unfortunately, I didn't stop to think if the twist made any sense with what this miniseries had previously established. When compared to Goosey's earlier characterization...this comes right out of nowhere and makes zero sense. This awful and forced twist is definitely one of the worst parts of this lit to me, and what I regret the most of the ideas I suggested. With him taking over as villain for no reason, the rest of this is going to be rough.]

“Well, duh, but I didn’t know it was you the whole time,” said Steel.

[Jjs: I get the feeling Steel himself didn't know it was Goosey this whole time either. Intentional self-aware comment?]

[Clappy: Duh jjs.]

“My plan hasn’t been fully revealed yet, just watch,” said Goosey and presses a button from his teleportation device, transporting him and everybody else to Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.

[Steel: ....

The Lit now transported itself onto the world of Phineas & Ferb, because......

WHY!? ARE YOU SERIOUSLY SPILLING MY SEAHORSE RADISH? WHY, JUST WHY!? Oh, Goosey's a dieheard P&F fan, might as well insert this into the story. HAHAHA- classic past self, let me give you a round of applause! Yeah, a few sentences in and I already cracked. I mean, wasn't this story about SBC, MLP, bronies, TGWTG, and all that jazz? In fact, why can't this just be about everything? Why not have Goosebumps, The Walking Dead, The Muppets, Donald Trump, just whatever inserted into this unrealistic pile of dreck!?

This is actually repeated commentary, but from me and all the other riffers in this room, this is the kind of response you're going to get.

Sound it off, everyone below me.]

[Jjs: Really, now we're bringing Phineas & Ferb into what was supposed to be a My Little Pony literature? If you can't tell by now, this lit had no identity, one of its biggest problems.]

[SOF: HOW?! How the heck did they get transported to the world of Phineas & Ferb?! I didn't suggest that, but still, even with Goosey's P&F obsession, this is yet another out of nowhere plot element...and there's more of those to come, we're just getting started.]

[Clappy: ...WHAT WHAT WHAT!? Wasn't this supposed to be a SBC fanfic That Guy With The Glasses My Little Pony....you know what. This doesn't surprise me at all. I mean Jesus Christ, this whole literature is a freaking cartoon anyway with its uninteresting characters and no real identity. Why not throw in Phineas & Ferb because who the hell even cares at this point? Are you sure you don't want to add an eighth chapter, Steel and SOF? Because it's not too late to fit in Gravity Falls, Star vs. the Forces of Evil, Adventure Time, Regular Show, Steven Universe and whatever the hell else you can think of to jam into this shit show. There's no real end game at this point, so why the hell not?]

[Renegade: ...So, wait, this was meant to be a cash-in on a 2011 fad about ponies, but now it's about Phineas and Ferb? ...wha...BIG LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT!]

[Fred: There's only one thing that pisses me off more than geese, road bumps, and fans. Phineas and Ferb ass-pulls.]

[Hayden: Doofenshmirtz Ass-Pull Incorporated!]

“So we’re at Doof’s place, now what?” teenj asked.

[Jjs: Good question teenj. Now what indeed? Why do we care what happens next? ACS was the villain, not Goosey. This whole "Goosey is the true villain" twist is absolute bullshit, and possibly one of the worst twists I've ever seen in an SBC literature. It's like Steel and SOF tacked it on just to make another part of nothing.]

[Clappy: Now you wait for Perry the Platypus to show up, save the city, make an invention disappear, watch Candace fail to bust her brothers, and go inside and have pie.]

[Steel: Staying for pie would sound enough to me. It sounds a lot better than pizzas or bagels, or exposition...]

[Hayden: Teenj seems pretty cool with being transported to a cartoon dimension. Nobody even had to take in their surroundings to realize where they were either.]

“Or most importantly, how did he get a teleportation device?” Fa added.

[Timmy Turner: Uhhh, internet?]

[SOF: Good question. Too bad it won't be answered, much like many other odd things in this.]

[Clappy: Simple, young Fa. By means of everything else in this lit. Via a massive ass pull.]

[Jjs: THAT is what is "most importantly" to you? A fucking teleportation device? Not what a complete out of nowhere and slap in the face this "twist" is?]

[Steel: Even more important, why is this Lit giving you all these questions?]

[Hayden: Teleportation is more realistic than where it teleported you.]

“One of my lifelong dreams after my departure was to take over the Tri-State Area and the other universe,” said Goosey.

[Steel: And you want to do this for a particular reason, and not because you're just pretending to be Dr. Doofenshmirtz for the sake of the plot, right?

Sound it off, everyone.]

[Jjs: ...WHEN!? When was this foreshadowed at all in the past six chapters!? I thought Goosey wanted to get the fuck away from ACS in the beginning?! Didn't he jump off a mountain in 4 to his presumed death to get away from this nonsense?! Was that all supposed to be an "act"?! I'm not excusing this, this is lazy and forced. If this had been longer, I could've excused it, but this was planned to be SEVEN CHAPTERS. You should've used them wisely to build this up better.]

[Clappy: Wow Goosey, your motivations sound supremely forced and unfunny. WAS THIS HIS MOTIVATION THE WHOLE TIME?! Hell, at least ACS, for as awful of a villain as he's been in this story, had reasons to be the bad guy. Goosey was such a poorly established character in this story that this is inexplicable. And you know what, this just occurred to me. Is this Steel's attempt to make an out of nowhere plot twist like And Then There Were Less...and no, not the infamous SOF shit show, I mean MY STORY. Because at least I gave the twist villains a chapter to explain their reasoning on such short notice. NOT THE FINAL FUCKING CHAPTER.]

[Renegade: *repeatedly facedesks* FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUUUUUCK! I DIDN'T THINK THE KILLER KRAB COULD BE OUTDONE IN TERMS OF PLAGIARISM! And besides, that makes no FUCKING SENSE! SINCE WHEN DID GOOSEY WANT TO TAKE OVER THE TRI-STATE AREA?!]

[SOF: Goosey's life long goal was to take over a fictional cartoon universe? This is honestly one of the saddest portrayals of him ever, and such lazy motivations...yes, even worse than SBCPU's. I legitimately feel bad he got forced into this villain role for no reason.]

[Fred: Guys, he obviously wanted to live out his dreams being a character from the show he idolizes.]

[Hayden: The Tri-State area is a Tri-te goal.]

“Of course!” SpongeSebastian said with an M. Bison impression.

[Jjs: Oh hey, this is also a Channel Awesome lit...I think. Yay references...]

[Clappy: Yes, because I can totally picture SpongeSebastian, in his SBC News voice, impersonating M. Bison...]

[Fred: Jean Claude Van Dayum, he ain't.]

[Steel: Naturally.]

“So let me get this straight…if you planned this the whole time,

[Jjs: I highly doubt it.]

[M. Night Renmylan: What a tweest!]

[Steel: Of course!.avi]

you’re saying that you actually want to take over the Tri-State Area, OUR WORLD, AND SBC?! And it wasn’t ACS’ idea? I guess life must’ve been rough for you,” said Steel.

[Jjs: Or rather, the authors wanted to add a "plot twist" for "shock value" because the lit was so bare bones.]

[Hayden: Is Goosey going to go into a Doofenshmirtz style backstory about being a lawn gnome?]

[Clappy: Life must have been rough for Goosey. After all Steel, you've personally treated him like horse shit through most of this literature anyway.]

“Life is a bitch anyways, plus it was ACS’ original idea to take over the world and SBC,” said Goosey.

”Of course!”

[Jjs: Who said that this time? Seb again?]

[Seb: Of course, Jjs!]

[Steel: *insert bass boosted, shaking clip of M. Bison saying "Of course!" with red shading.*]

[SOF: I wouldn't be surprised if my character said that, with all the NC references he throws left and right.]

“Since he’s dead, I have the secondhand to do just that,” said Goosey. “Now watch…”

[Clappy: You have the secondhand? Since when? When did ACS pass down his plans to Goosey?]

[Steel: Clumsy wordplay as usual I see.]

[Hayden: Secondhand joke is bad for your health.]

“Behold Perry the Platypus, the Darkness-enslave-inator!” Doofenshmirtz exclaimed.

[Hayden: That doesn't even sound like a real -inator name Doof would use.]

[Jjs: Yup, you're actually throwing Phineas & Ferb elements into what was supposed to be a MLP lit and then turned into a Channel Awesome lit. So basically this lit ended up being a crossover between SBC, Phineas & Ferb, My Little Pony, and Channel Awesome. AKA, the worst thing ever.]

[Clappy: Wow, you're really following through with this. This is how you're treating your audience right now:  

3a9448a7dda0187fefccf5267b719813.gif ]

[Steel: And then the main plot cuts to a scene in which Phineas & Ferb meet the Mane Six and show them their latest invention, one of many for their endless summer fun. And then Candace tries to get Mom to bust the boys before the entire finale of this Lit turns into a legit P&F episode.]

[SOF: I bet Doof will totally have a point in being in the finale, and isn't being thrown in for absolutely no reason, no sir.]

“With this, darkness will fill the clouds all over the Tri-State Area and eventually, everybody will listen to me, and I will finally be ruler!”

[Clappy: Oh, so now this story is about not enough people listening to Doofenschmirtz? How about Steel and SOF not listening to what their audience wants?]

[Hayden: How do dark clouds translate to Doof being in charge? The real Doof doesn't explain this sloppily.]

“Hey thanks,” Goosey said, snagging the inator.

[Steel: okay bye.]

[SOF: I didn't know a random guy from a SpongeBob forum was appearing on the latest Phineas & Ferb episode.]

[Jjs: And we're supposed to take this seriously? Tone is also another problem this lit had.]

[Clappy: You know that Doof's "-inators" are machines that weigh hundreds of pounds, right? So either: Goosey is buff as all hell, the -inator is as light as a feather, or...and this one makes the most sense...Steel thinks we are all cartoon characters and have to act as such because this is his story and who gives a fuck about what we think.]

[Hayden: Hey! The -inator isn't what is supposed to disappear, he should've stolen Phineas and Ferb's device of the day.]

“Who was that guy?” Doofenshmirtz said with a confused look.

[Jjs: I don't think you want to know.]

[Clappy: The death of comedy.]

[Steel: Who that guy was is something that you'd see in a fever dream, like you and everything that's going on in this story.]

[Hayden: fa6cfe591f54c205eb4e8ce635c09648.jpg ]

“Great, we’re trapped in a totally bland cartoon show where Goosey is going to “take over the world,” said 70s.

[Jjs: Accurate summary of this miniseries. Thank you 70s.]

[Clappy: ...huh!? Are we finally showing self-awareness of what I've been saying since episode one!? Christ. Even the fourth wall breaks in this lit are starting to piss me off.]

[Fred: They're Goosey and the Brain! They're Goosey and the Brain! One is a genius, the other's insane!]

[Hayden: Snarf!]

[Steel: Welcome to The Dark Side of the Herd.]

“Of…course, okay I’ll stop,” said SpongeSebastian.

[Jjs: Even Seb is sick of the writer's "gags".]

[Clappy: I doubt this is the last of these TGWTG gags, so why stop now Seb?]

[Hayden: Seb didn't even need an intervention. Even he feels it's played out.]

[Steel: And then a few minutes later, Seb starts randomly chiming in with "TIMING!"]

“Hey guys, how about giving us a hand?” hilaryfan80 said, revealing that he, tvguy, and Perry are in a trap.

[SOF: Did they activate Goosey's trap card?]

[Jjs: Wut? When was it ever stated they were in a trap? I thought hilaryfan80 and tvguy were vaporized into "oblivion or so" last chapter. Did the "or so" mean they somehow got teleported to Doof's lair? I see pacing and half-assed explanations are still problems even at the end. At least that's two things that came full-circle.]

[Hayden: So instead of vaporizing them, ACS sent them into a cage with a platypus in a cartoon, even though ACS' plan never involved what Goosey's doing.]

[Clappy: AGH! I'm getting ATTWL 3 flashbacks for the umpteenth time with these random characters getting stuck in traps. Now watch as SOF and Steel build some massive ass pull of a contraption that will free everyone just like in Phineas & Ferb because fuck me, am I right? GO AHEAD LIT. I DARE YOU.]

“Sure thing, as soon as Goosebumpsfan over there experiments the inator,” said Steel.

[Hayden: Steel would rather just watch the villain make enormous progress instead of saving his friends or stopping said inator experiment.]

Goosey points the doomsday invention to the sky and the clouds were now filled with darkness.

[Jjs: Wow. I'm on the edge of my seat. Dark clouds. Truly evil.]

[Hayden: Now Phineas and Ferb will have to go inside and waste one of their 104,000 days of sunny summer.]

[SOF: Is anybody going to even try to stop him from using the inator? No? Okay. Our "heroes" everyone.]

“Just as planned…” said Goosey.

[Clappy: How meta...]

“Again, JUST EXPLAIN!” SOF said.

[SOF: Quiet you.]

[Clappy: *insert laughtrack here*]

[Jjs: Yet another forced Nostalgia Critic reference. Seriously, why are you trying to throw in "humor" when Goosey is trying to "take over the world"? It doesn't work here for "comedy", because suddenly the lit wants us to take this seriously, and it's not even funny or fitting.]

[Steel: For a forced Nostalgia Critic reference, this one sums up the story's narrative very well. Just explain before I nuke the whole neighborhood!]

[Fred: Yes, SOF. Explain where the P&F elements all came from and all of these inconsistencies.]

[Hayden: cd381bcbbd17e42e6d446f34bb130a7c.gif ]

“Within an hour, you’ll all be my slaves and help me become ruler of the Tri-State Area,” said Goosey.

“We’ll never help you!” Pakasa said.

[Clappy: What a character defining line. You absolutely deserved to be in this story Pakasa.]

[Hayden: 7f02c7b8f400ccbcd3747be44ab5b20e.gif ]

“I win, you all lost, deal with it!” Goosey replied.

[SOF: ...We're supposed to find him threatening?]

[Fred: Damn, we're dealing with a bad-ass here.]

[Steel: Groundbreaking villainous dialogue.]

[Hayden: They've been dealing with it fine given their total lack of resistance.]

“But we’re all here and we can destroy that thing faster than you can say donkey balls!” Metal Snake said.

[Jjs: *cricket chirps*]

[Clappy: I bet you can destroy that thing faster than anyone can search for a time outside of this lit anyone ever said "donkey balls" on this site.]

[Renegade: "Donkey balls" is how I'd best describe this series.]

[Fred: Donkey balls. The device isn't broken yet. You guys lost the bet.]

[Steel: ....Then destroy it faster than he can say donkey balls. Why are you just standing around?]

[Hayden: I don't think they could destroy it faster than a 10 hour loop on YouTube of the phrase donkey balls.]

“Oh really, because I’ve already confiscated the device that activates the trap Doofenshmirtz already trapped Perry and those two guys other there with,” said Goosey.

[Grammar Police: Did you mean: over there]

[Clappy: Thank you Grammar Police. I was getting tired of pointing out how many times this story needed heavy editing.]

He presses the remote, letting Perry go, but activates the trap again to prevent tvguy and hilaryfan80 from escaping and trapping everybody else except SOF and Steel.

[Hayden: He let Perry go...why exactly? Wouldn't Perry still try to do his mission? He's more of a threat than all these couch potato SBCers.]

[Jjs: VAGUENESS POLICE! What "trap" is this anyways? A cage trap? How are all the SBC members inside of it except for Steel and SOF? Oh, and of course SOF and Steel avoided the trap. Yup. I was right in my riffs from the credits in Chapter 1, they ended up being the "stars" after all... More ATTWL 3 callbacks...]

[Clappy: OH COME THE FUCK ON. What a massive amount of horse shit. Of course Steel and SOF are the only two people who were not standing anywhere near the group. Of course Steel and SOF get the god complex treatment. Now watch as they are the ones who save this site and we proceed to worship the ground they walk on for the rest of this lit because WHO THE FUCK CARES AT THIS RATE.]

[Steel:

]

“It looks like you can’t use the Elements of Harmony now with the element of magic,” Goosey said to the trapped members.

[Clappy: ...what the hell does that even mean? Are the Elements of Harmony trap-proof or something? They are still technically trapped in the same room, are they not?]

[Steel: But how can't they use it if they have it?]

“The Elements of Harmony, what are you guys talking about?” Doofenshmirtz questioned, still confused.

[Jjs: Again, I don't think you want to know.]

[Renegade: It's a long, complicated, and extremely stupid story. Oh, wait...]

[Hayden: 0806dfa70e8ff893095fe0081a8df469.gif ]

“Silence pharmacist!” Goosey said.

[Steel: That's not a nice thing to say to your idol.]

[Fred: "Silence pharmacist"? What, is he/she gonna offer me prescription earplugs to help me through this mess?]

[Hayden: We're going to need some prescription drugs if this keeps up.]

“Wait, how come we’re not trapped?” Steel asked.

[Jjs: Because you two need to prove you're the "heroes" somehow.]

[Clappy: Because you "two" wrote this.]

[Steel: It's all part of the motto, GMMLS:

GOTTA

MAKE

MYSELF

LOOK

STRONG.]

[Hayden: Wow. So Goosey intentionally left them out rather than any skillful avoidance from SOF/Steel.]

“That’s because you two are first on my blacklist for a reason,” Goosey answered.

[Hayden: I prefer hit list as the terminology.]

[Jjs: A reason I'm sure that was "foreshadowed" in the past six chapters.]

[Clappy: Yeah, because this blacklist was elaborated on in the previous six chapters...]

[Fred: Because ALL HAIL THE CREATORS OF THIS LIT, THEY ARE GODSENDS]

“Count on it, we’ll defeat you, even without the Elements of Harmony,” said Steel.

[SOF: Who is this "we"?]

[Hayden: Am I forgetting a line where you were stripped of them?]

“As if, oh and if I have all your friends airborne, would that slow you two down?” Goosey said, as Rainbow Dash raises them to the clouds.

[Jjs: Oh hey...Lew still exists. Is it bad I actually entirely forgot he was in this? I'm dead serious.]

[Clappy: FUCK OFF. I know this has become a cartoon by all accounts, but even that is fucking implausible. Also yes, let's give Lew an actual purpose in this story after six fucking chapters.]

[Steel: Just in time to make sure Lew hasn't gone unnoticed.]

[Hayden: Cloud Kingdom! They just need some sky hooks to get on down.]

[SOF: I forgot Lew was in this too, he had no reason to even be here. Go on Lew, fly away from here before it's too late.]

“Let them go…” said Steel.

[Renegade: BISMILLAH NO! WE WILL NOT LET THEM GO!]

[Clappy: Don't forget to say please Steel, because you of all people are our heroic "badass".]

[Fred: Can't hold them back any more.]

[Steel: The quest never bothered them anyway.]

[Hayden: Yeah! Stop playing with Steel's toys! Only he's allowed to bend them to his will.]

Goosey then takes out his 4-swords and says, “Now, which one shall I eliminate first?”

[Clappy: I'm sorry, but I still can't believe Goosey can hold four swords at once. Did he grow an extra pair of arms? This is the most curious I am about anything in this chapter.]

[Hayden: Goosey is also a Psychic type Pokemon.]

“Wait, that thing didn’t kill tvguy and hilaryfan80,” said SOF.

[SOF: You just now noticed? Seriously, shut up me.]

[Steel: Thanks for the reminder, Delayed Reaction SOF.]

”That’s because ACS doesn’t know how it works, so goodbye douche nozzles!” Goosey replied.

[Jjs: Seriously, how are we supposed to take this seriously?]

[Clappy: And you do know how it works? Elaborating is a wonderful thing.]

[Hayden: If he didn't use it the right way, then how did it do what it did at all?!]

[SOF: If Goosey knows how it works, why doesn't he kill everyone right now with the swords? Or is he just going to gloat and not attack? Hmm, who does that remind me of...]

Up in the air, the trapped SBC members are held captive in the clouds by Rainbow Dash.

[Jjs: Thanks chief, kind of already inferred that from "Rainbow Dash raises them to the clouds".]

[Clappy: Thank you for that unnecessary recap. I didn't just read that.]

[Fred: Hey, a little clarification never hurts. Not in this lit though.]

[SOF: Also, how is Lew even flying, Rainbow Dash cosplaying aside?]

[Steel: Well, everyone who's reading through this already knew that, but why stop there? The SBC members are facing near death. Rainbow Dash, a.k.a. Lew, is dressed as a Shadowbolt. The sky was blue, but now it's dark because of the clouds covering it up from Doof's inator.]

“I wanted a battle, so I’m going to commence one. I bet you can’t stop me since I have the “Elements of Disharmony,” said Rainbow Dash.

[Clappy: ...I think you all know by now that I know next to nothing about My Little Pony these days, but why do I seriously doubt the existence of Elements of Disharmony?]

[SOF: ...Yup, another out of nowhere plot element.]

[Hayden: Maybe should have shown a subplot of Rainbow Dash collecting those?]

“Wow that went by pretty quick” said CDCB.

[Steel: But that grammar error certainly didn't fly past my past self's radar quickly enough.]

[Jjs: This self-awareness is starting to piss me off. Seriously, are we sure this wasn't an ATTWL 3 prequel? It really feels like it.]

[Clappy: Well this is an ATTWL rip-off. That's for sure.]

[SOF: I wouldn't be surprised if some elements from this rubbed off on me for ATTWL 3. Would explain a lot.]

“A battle is a battle, bring it on, you and what army?” Ex said.

[SOF: An army of grass-I mean, Plankton's cousins?]

[Clappy: ...it's the little things that could have been edited with this story that shouldn't piss me off, but they do. That's literally THREE SENTENCES and it's meshed into ONE RUN-ON with two comma breaks. It's making me want to pull my hair out.]

“What army…I don’t need one, this battle is about to get 20% cooler than you thought!” Rainbow Dash replied.

[Fred: SPOILERS: No, it won't.]

[Jjs: Oh hey, a MLP meme. Let's see how many of these "jokes" can be shoehorned-in along with Nostalgia Critic gags before the end.]

[Hayden: 20% cooler than what I thought is still 0%.]

[SOF: Cool, almost forgot this was an MLP story.]

“The Elements of Harmony…maybe without Steel it can work,” said CF.

The 5 members then try this, but it doesn’t work,

[M. Bison: Of course!]

[Steel:

]

due to Steel being on the ground. 

[M. Bison: Of course!]

[Steel: plz, no more quoting M. Bison, I'm already getting burned out from them for just one reading.]

Rainbow Dash retaliates by activating the Elements of Disharmony, causing him to be surrounded with power and shrouded in dark mist. The elements shine and a dark blast is aimed heading at the SBC members, causing a striking hit on everybody and unfortunately causing Jelly to fall.

[Clappy: Wow. This dramatic moment is making me unintentionally laugh. It hit everybody and only one member fell? It feels like Steel just grabbed a dart board full of names, threw a dart, and it landed on Jelly. So congratulations Jelly. You are the dumbass this story chose to give the idiot ball to. Oh and choosing the word "unfortunately" to label someone you are "killing off" is even funnier.]

“Jelly, no!” OMJ said and drops down to try and save her.

[Fred: Brian, no!]

[Jjs: Even if Jelly does "die"...I hate to say it, but who cares? She barely had any proper focus or development throughout this damn story. Stakes are another thing this lacked.]

[Hayden: OMJ jumping off a cloud might be sweet if anything between OMJ/Jelly had been written.]

“How touching,” said Rainbow Dash sarcastically.

”Seriously dude, now you seem to be crossing the line…twice,” said Jjs.

[Jjs: ...Who the hell would ever talk like that in a "situation" like this?]

[Clappy: You "SEEM" to be crossing the line? What Jjs? Does he have to kill you to make the word "seem" become "are"?]

[Steel: I don't know how many times my past self has been using broken English, but he certainly hasn't been using it...twice.]

[Hayden: If he crosses it a 3rd time, he gets a time-out.]

While OMJ was saving Jelly, Rainbow Dash was preparing for a Sonic Rainboom attack at them. Rainbow Dash misses,

[Jjs: I know I haven't avidly watched MLP since Season 4, but I don't think the Sonic Rainboom can "miss"...]

[Steel: He fired, and it missed.]

[SOF: For someone who loves pretending to be Rainbow Dash, he sure is sucking at mimicking her powers.]

while Jelly and OMJ’s fall was broken by Goosey.

[Clappy: Thus killing Goosey. Story over. The end. Because you fell from "seemingly" hundreds of feet in the air. Goosey...and Jelly and OMJ for that matter, should be dead.]

[Hayden: How were they directly over him?]

“My hero…I guess,” said Jelly.

[Hayden: I ship it.]

“Get off me…” said Goosey.

[Steel: ...before his lungs become completely crushed, thus resulting in his death.]

“I’ll take care of that,” Rainbow Dash then uses one of the elements to bring the two back up on the cloud. “It looks like the Element of Laughter isn’t laughing about this.”

[Jjs: *cricket chirps*]

[Clappy: Well that makes two of us not laughing.]

[Fred: Hardy har har.]

[Steel: That was so funny, I forgot to laugh.]

[Hayden: Fuck the element of laughter's sense of humor.]

”Well duh because that’s as cruel as burning a building!” OMJ said.

[Jjs: I see the "humor" came full circle too.]

[Fred: I see he found the Element of Edginess.]

[Hayden: Stop shaming arsonists and use your falling from great heights survival powers to jump off that cloud and land on Goosey again.]

“Okay guys, it’s time that we act serious!” Ex said and attempts to attack Rainbow Dash with his bare body.

[Clappy: Well gee, thanks Steel. Like we really needed to imagine Ex running around in his bare body. Excuse me while I go vomit.]

[Hayden: Ex and his usual dick moves.]

Rainbow Dash flies up, making Ex miss. Rainbow Dash then creates a dark sphere of energy to hit Ex.

[Hayden: I think falling on the ground nude would cause enough bruises and scratches. Dark sphere is just overkill.]

“You’re going down!” tvguy said and attempts to attack Rainbow Dash, only to be quickly blasted by Rainbow Dash’s same attack.

[SOF: *yawns* Yay, more dull fighting, fitting way to end this...]

[Jjs: I don't know how you make fight scenes this boring and repetitive, that should be a crime in and of itself.]

[Clappy: Is there an Element of Excitement? Because this is lacking in it.]

[Hayden: What I want to know is why they're able to attack Rainbow Dash if they were all caged. Just make a cloud cage, or don't poof them up there at all.]

“I’m getting sick of you guys losing, even for me,” said 70s

[Jjs: Gee, thanks for the support 70s. Asshole.]

[SOF: Feel free to step in anytime now, 70s.]

[Steel: Because you can't fight worth a darn? I said it in the last part, but this still applies here.]

[Hayden: I can think of 70 reasons he should shut the hell up.]

and does the same to try and stop Rainbow Dash, this time to jump and avoid the incoming blast. Rainbow Dash flies up and the same effect happens and 70s gets back to his original cloud.

[Clappy: Original cloud? How many clouds are involved with this?]

Unfortunately, Rainbow Dash later strikes him with the Sonic Rainboom.

[Hayden: These stories never let 70s get a hero moment after he talks a big game. I think that was subconsciously intentional.]

[SOF: "Unfortunately" Okay, I lol'd. It's amusing that this story acts as if people legit care what happens to anyone by this point. But I guess some attempt at making us care is appreciated with how lazy this finale is overall.]

“No CF, it would be too dangerous to come and face Rainbow Dash,” Clappy said to CF once she began to step in.

[Clappy: Hey Clappy, isn't that what everyone else is doing right now? God forbid if CF gets involved in this.]

[Hayden: Clappy is sexist and should let the quiet girl quiet this storm.]

“It’s always worth trying,” said CF.

“I think she’s trying to say that we’re all acting like pussies, put aside me…and some of you,” said Dragiiin.

[Jjs: Thank you again Drag. Maybe you can save this lit.]

[Steel: And he couldn't because of...what was it that he said on that thread, again?

Quote

personality and changing someone so they can fit the role

Oh yeah, that.]

“Um…Rainbow Dash, would you please be very careful with your balls of psychic energy and attack just a little bit?” CF asked softly.

[Jjs: Okay, even if CF is the "nice one", why the hell would she think this will work? Lew is clearly past the point of reasoning if he's blasting rainbooms nonstop at them. Stop trying to make "suspense" when there is none.]

[Clappy: CF kindly trying to reason with the villain is still more believable than Steel and SOF being our "heroes".]

[CF: Only a little bit should do. :) See, that's a compromise!]

Rainbow Dash took no levels of the attempted irresistibility,

[SOF: ...Wat?]

[Clappy: Irresistibility...what? That's not the right word and you know it. REASONING.]

[Fred: Simply irresistibility.]

[Steel: Whatever happened to irresistibility? Milkmaidman, tvguy347, even Cha!]

[CF: b880ecce8a1117b7f0b7e431470a4505.gif ]

and does his same attack, but it misses.

[Renegade: This shit's riveting as fuck, I'll tell ya.]

[Hayden: fe9fcc367ddce4655eac3f2356da7a0c.gif ]

“This is impossible…” said Jjs.

[SOF: What's impossible? An attack missing?]

“Yep, and the main deal is to wait until I want to make my final blow, which I will do in five…” said Rainbow Dash.

[Hayden: Five minutes? That's a long time on Namek.]

“This is bad, we’re being owned by a brony,” said Clappy.

[Clappy: Um, by this story's logic, you are all bronies.]

[Fred: You think that's bad? I was once owned by a middle schooler once.]

[Hayden: The hypocrisy is apparent. When ACS and Goosey reveal brony interests, it's a way to laugh at or undermine them, but when SBC are bronies, they're cool for it.]

“I hope he doesn’t finish at the count of 2,” said teenj.

[Clappy: Once again, thank you for contributing to this story teenj. Your purpose sure was served.]

[Hayden: 2 IS NOT 5. WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE WHEN YOU REFUSE TO USE YOUR TIME WISELY?]

[Steel: GOTTA MAKE THE OTHER SBC MEMBERS LOOK WEAK.]

All of a sudden, the bronies that disappeared from laughter 2 parts ago reappear and fall on Rainbow Dash, before he could do his final attack.

[Jjs: Is it bad I also forgot that even happened? Seriously, every "plot element" in this lit is so jumbled together. I legit had to reread Chapter 5 to even know what the hell they're referring to here.]

[Clappy: I think what's even more shameful is that the story had to remind us, the readers, that this happened two parts ago. However, it was smart to include that because I don't think anyone remembers this even happening due to lack of caring...so good job.]

[Hayden: Where have they been all this time? Stopped for fast food along the way?]

[SOF: Where did they fall from? A portal in the sky? Why did they just appear now? Are the bronies still under that mind control? I'd start plot hole and ass pull counters, but I think it's impossible to keep count by this point.]

[Tracer!Ren: Cheers, love, the deus ex machina's here!]

[Fred: There's only one way how all of these bronies suddenly fell on Rainbow Dash...

Very odd ass-pull!!!!!!]

[Steel: Nothing to say here since I didn't riff part 5...]

“What the hell?” Rainbow Dash said.

“I didn’t expect them to teleport all the way here,” said OMJ.

[Jjs: I get the feeling Steel didn't expect that either until now.]

[Hayden: All teleportations lead to the Phineas and Ferb world.]

“No matter, I can still do it, prepare for the Atomic Rainboom, because this is where it all ends!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

“Great, he’s turned into ACS if he’s trying to kill us too,” said Fa.

[SOF: "If"? Pretty sure someone threatening you with an "Atomic Rainboom" means nothing else but death.]

[Clappy: Earth to Fa. All the bad people are trying to kill the good people. Isn't it obvious?]

[Hayden: So. Slow. On. The. Uptake. We're halfway through the chapter and several of them are still blinking and wondering what Goosey is doing. It's not cute, it just makes me wonder what's in the water they are drinking.]

“Not if I have something to do with it,” said Dragiiin as he steps in.

[Jjs: Now Dragiiin is going to grow a pair of balls and save the day? Once again, there was zero build-up to this...but I actually don't mind surprisingly. Better than Steel or SOF being the "heroes".]

[Hayden: Well to be fair, Drag has been swinging his balls around, just should've hit something sooner.]

[Steel: Surprised to see that the two utmost important characters are getting as much focus at this point, but then I just remembered this "epic battle" is still going on...]

“Are you sure about this Dragiiin?” Teenj questioned.

[SOF: Yeah, you could still ditch this lit like you did in ATTWL 3. You don't have to do this, Drag!]

“Trust me, brony against brony, I’m sure to win against him,” said Dragiiin.

[SOF: Oh well, maybe he really can save this lit. Worth hoping?]

[Clappy: Can't go wrong with that logic. Everyone should attack at once in that case.]

[Hayden: I think I'm all trusted out after so many fake-out misses.]

“Hmm, and I thought I was the element of honesty,” SpongeSebastian added.

[Steel: And honesty has to do with Dragiiin's logic, because...?]

[Hayden: No, you were the element of common sense for pointing out something dangerous. Also, stop encouraging Dragiiin's egotism.]

[SOF: ...How is what Drag said being honest? I feel like this line was only thrown in to remind people what Seb's element is.]

[Clappy: I HATE HATE HATE repeating my riffs from three chapters ago, but stop confusing "arrogance" as "honesty". Fuck off lit, just fuck off.]

[Billy Joel: Hooooonestyyyyy! Such a misused word!]

Dragiiin faces Rainbow Dash as Rainbow Dash soars and prepares to create the Atomic Rainboom. With a surprise, Dragiiin’s palm creates a rainbow-like blast that could come from the Elements of Harmony.

[Hayden: The only palm I'm thinking of is one with a face.]

[Clappy: It could come...but it shouldn't come because didn't they just try using the Elements of Harmony a few pages ago, and it didn't work because Steel wasn't with them? I call massive amounts of ass pulling bullshit.]

[Drag: Wind Tunnel!]

The blasts are now blocked and Dragiiin’s phases through, destroying Rainbow Dash.

[Hayden: What did he phase through? Is he Draggy Phantom?]

“NO!”

[Renegade: TASTE THE RAINBOW, MOTHAFUCKA

Sorry, had to.]

With Rainbow Dash’s defeat, his Shadowbolt clothing was leftover.

[Clappy: So we're supposed to believe Lew was dressed as a Shadowbolt? Speaking of clothing for that matter, are all the SBCers still dressed as TGWTG characters during this entire story? Because if so, that's just over the top ridiculous.]

[SOF: If they are all really still dressed as TGWTG characters during this, that makes it even harder to take anything happening seriously. Also, bye Lew. Fitting how you got a lame death to match your lack of presence in this story.]

[Steel: I can't believe a Shadowbolt got pummeled by Film Brain.]

[Jjs: RIP Lew. But really, who even gives a shit? Lew barely impacted this lit, and vanished for most of it, so this "epic battle" came off kind of...pretentious? Add that to the list of this lit's many many many many faults.]

“What the fuck just happened?” Ex said.

[Jjs: Are you blind? Drag clearly killed Lew. Seriously, you know this lit is bad when not even the characters can be bothered to see what's going on, in the final chapter!]

[SOF: I guess even Ex is too disinterested to pay attention anymore.]

[Hayden: Damn whippersnappers must be too busy playing on their phones to care about entering cartoons or murder.]

“It appears that Dragiiin has the Elements of Harmony within him without needing the true authentic ones,” said OMJ.

[Jjs: ...I'd say this is another bullshit plot twist, and makes the entire element quest pointless, and both are true, but...I don't care anymore. Steel clearly didn't care at this point, so why should I either? Also, to be fair, Drag saving the day is at least barely better than what I was initially expecting (and sort of makes sense with the ACS grudge), but it's not enough to save this awful finale. But yeah, this is still worth an ASS PULL POLICE!]

[Clappy: Yep, like I said just a few riffs ago, that's a massive amount of ass pulling bullshit.]

[SOF: BOOO!!! FUCK OFF. That came out of nowhere...again. This made their entire element quest pointless if Drag had the Elements in him this whole time...how many more forced plot twists will this have before the end?!]

[Steel: B.S., B.S.! BEEEEEEEEE-ESSSSSSS. So, now the story expects me to believe that Drag had the Elements within him and he could've pulled off something like that earlier? Get out of here! GEET OUTTA HEEERE!]

[Hayden: American Dragiiin. He's cool. He's hot. Like the frozen sun. He's young, he fast. He's the chosen one. He's gonna stop his enemies with his ass-pull power.... Dragiiin up.

e07e92289ceaca8fecef540c82ba8e51.gif ]

“Damn, so convenient and yet confusing, either choice of words, that was still pretty awesome,” said Wumbo.

[Steel: Oh yeah, because of convenience. Who would have thought?]

[Jjs: Ignoring yet another awful self-aware comment, I cannot imagine Wumbo saying any of these words together in a sentence like that, in any context.]

[Clappy: Not only that, but STEEL DID IT AGAIN WITH THE RUN ON SENTENCES. Hell, I'm probably missing multiple times this has happened, but I can't not notice it now. EDIT EDIT EDIT.]

“Thanks for the compliment, now let’s stop that Goose,” said Dragiiin, and the SBC members’ then drop down to where SOF, Steel, and the teleported bronies were.

[Clappy: Dropping down. Therefore, falling to their deaths.]

[Hayden: Don't be silly Claps, that's the one consistent thing about this story. Heights. Don't. Hurt.]

[Steel: Time to take out the trash, once and for all. And by trash, I mean the story.]

“It’s no use, we can’t stop him, we really do need the Elements of Harmony,” said SOF.

[Steel: Since you skipped it, here's another run-on, Claps.]

[SOF: Thanks me for deducing something anyone else in the cast could have. Gotta give me as much dialogue as possible before the end, amirite?]

“Hey, we’re right here!” 70s said.

[SOF: Hi.]

[Hayden: To quote Trophy.... "So?".]

“I just got an idea…we need Goosey to press the self-destruct button, we should both know that Doof would always install a self-destruct button in these machines,” said Steel.

[Jjs: Of course Steel is the one to suggest that. I guess he had to shoehorn-in one way for him to be the "hero".]

[Hayden: I could see SOF suggesting that more than Steel :/]

[Clappy: That is honestly one of the lamest resolution ideas I've ever read in one of these stories. But this must be the "Goosey is a dumbass" trope finally coming into play.]

[Fred: Or maybe call Agent P? Nah, bullshit to that, time for a stupider plan!]

[Hayden: Speaking of, where is that little Platypus traitor?]

“Care for us to help, instead of creating a boring climax?” OMJ said, without an answer from SOF or Steel.

[Jjs: See, the characters themselves find this boring!]

[Steel: The two "strongest" characters probably won't trust him, since we had to deal with a boring fight.]

[Hayden: "Without an answer". Well OMJ, you tried, but you already know how SOF/Steel roll.]

“That would be crazy enough to work,” said SOF.

[SOF: Whatever you say, if it gets this to end already, be my guest.]

[Renegade: Given all the ass pulls we've seen so far? Not really.]

[Steel: Or not and just say it's a crazy idea then just go along with it since this story is about to end anyways.]

[Hayden: Lol at them acting like this is a creative plan. It hinges on the -inator having an easily conquered flaw, not on either of you being crazy outside the box thinkers.]

“Yeah, especially with the Elements of Harmony,” said Dragiiin, popping up.

“Oh yeah, I didn’t realize you guys escaped!” Steel said, finally realizing.

[Jjs: Just goes to show how important the other SBCers were if the author couldn't remember they escaped.]

[Hayden: Steel's narcissism is higher than the cloud they were trapped on.]

[Clappy: Are you telling me that Steel is that oblivious to not realize that they just escaped?]

[Renegade: Our hero, ladies and gentlemen.]

[Steel: Thanks for taking your time to notice that. *sarcasm*]

“Not a chance, these two are going solo!” Goosey said, grabbing Steel and SOF.

Steel then quickly grabs the remote that activates the trap and captivates Goosey.

[Clappy: Captivates? Lmao. So Goosey is "attracted" to the trap. Whatever your fetish is bro.]

[Hayden: Steel seducing Goosey is the only amusing Steel sequence in 7 chapters.]

[Fred: Goosteel Sponge doesn't really roll off the tongue as a good ship name.]

[Steel: You're right, I was thinking "Stoosey" would be an appropriate name.]

“Not bad, but we have at least 10 minutes until we become slaves in 10 seconds flat,” said SOF.

[Steel: GOTTA MAKE THEM MLP REFERENCES.]

[SOF: Jjs, I'd like to request this version of SOF take the title as the King of Captain Obviouses. Please?]

(While the final fray was coming to an end, this music plays:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WKofkmLxSQ)

[Jjs: So nothing is playing because that video is gone. First a broken logo, and now a broken song. Seems fitting.]

[SOF: I don't even remember what this song was supposed to be.]

[Fred: Okay, you know what's hilarious? I looked up the ID for that video and most of the results had to do with Japanese anime. If they wanted to end this like an anime, they're certainly doing it the wrong way.]

[Steel: You know, I'm just going to stroke this story's ego and give it this music:

It's more pleasant to be listening to this than reading this Lit.]

“With the power of friendship, we can defeat Goosebumpsfan in less than 10 minutes; we totally got him this time!” Steel said.

[Clappy: This time? Are you implying that this has happened before? PLEASE, NO PREQUEL TO THIS, I BEG YOU.]

[Hayden: They'll talk for 9 more minutes before heading towards the -inator.]

[Jjs: Based on the pacing of this, something tells me Steel himself had to go somewhere in 10 minutes when writing this, and had to hastily wrap this up as a result.]

With the six elements and Dragiiin’s newfound power combined, a double rainbow blast was created; ready to destroy Goosey and the inator.

[Hayden: It's a Z-Move because it's putting me to sleep. :D ]

“Double rainbow blast all the way,” said Goosey and begins to weep.

[Clappy: What lame last words.]

[Goosey: Team Goosebumpsfan is blasting off again!]

[Steel: 2011 memes. classic.]

[Hayden: 26a0b53eddebf4fad7c57753b94093c1.jpg ]

“YEAH, TASTE THE RAINBOW OF AWESOMENESS MOTHERFUCKER,” Dragiiin yelled.

[Renegade: Hey, I used that line a bit ago!]

[Steel: Hey, I was expecting that line to pop up at some point in this Lit!]

[Hayden: 8bf2b3529c889c5d6875f6d17373d6ed.gif

This is what happens when you eat Skittles, since they're so gross.]

“NO!” Goosey screamed.

[Renegade: 

]

As expected, the double rainbow blast hit the inator and Goosey. The inator self-destructs and the blast surrounded Goosey, causing his ultimate fall.

[Jjs: Is it that hard to say "death"? Why are you now trying to sugarcoat it? Also, I guess this means I wasn't the only one to kill off Goosey for poor reasons in a literature. Just wow.]

[Clappy: At least you can say that Goosey died in a more reasonable and not a shamefully lame death, Jjs.]

[Hayden: Steel is really afraid of triggering people. It doesn't even have to be gruesome, just say what actually happened. Steel treats his SBC viewers and the SBC members in this story like idiots with no ability to process events.]

[SOF: RIP Goosey. Even with the problems I had with him back then, he didn't deserve this at all. I definitely think this is worse than his fate in SBCPU S1, since at least there he wasn't forced into being a villain at the last second. This was one of his worst portrayals in an SBC lit ever to me.]

With the inator destroyed, the clouds cleared up and the darkness has faded.

[Jjs: If all that "doomsday machine" did was make clouds dark, then I'm not sure if our bumbling "heroes" even needed to do anything.]

[Hayden: People wouldn't get enough Vitamin D, jjs. It would've been an epidemic for the Tri-State Area.]

“It’s over…it’s finally over,” said tvguy panting.

[Jjs: I wish tvguy, but we've still got dialogue left below.]

[Clappy: According to the page scroll, it's not. :( ]

[Hayden: So was that line at the top supposed to be a sneak peek of this part?]

[Steel: Too bad we still have to go through the bit with the afterparty and the closing lines from none other than Stale Spork.]

“We can “worry” about Goosey and Rainbow Dash later, we better get home,” said Steel and grabs the teleportation device.

[Jjs: Why would you need to "worry" about them? They're dead.]

[Clappy: I guess Steel is worried about the arrest warrants for the death of innocent people.]

[Hayden: Worry about cleaning up their remains....if there are any.]

[Steel: It is I, your future self! Come out with your hands up in the air! You and your friends are under arrest for voluntary manslaughter!]

So he, the rest of the SBC members, and the bronies then teleported back to ACS’ lair.

“Curse you random members of the internet!” Doofenshmirtz shouted.

[Jjs: Honestly, I just feel plain bad he had to be in this at all.]

[Hayden: How did he know they were from the internet? Perry the Platypus actually deserves to be cursed out for abandoning his post to a bunch of dumb kids.]

[Doofenshmirtz: Curse you, SOF and Steel, for stealing from Phineas and Ferb!]

[Steel: Curse you, Poorly Written the Literature!]

[SOF: I see "characters who had no reason to even be there in the first place" was a reoccurring theme for this.]

The scene now shows everybody back in the real world.

[Clappy: Um no, we clearly just read we were teleporting back to ACS' lair? What the hell gives?]

[Steel: I guess my past self wanted to give away some more info for once.]

“Is the sky all clear now in our world?” CDCB asked.

[Clappy: I don't know CD, why don't you look up?]

[Hayden: And I thought people that didn't Google their easy questions were bad.]

“Let’s have a look,” said Steel and walks up to the balcony to see the darkness no longer in the sky. “Yep, there’s nothing to fret about anymore. ACS and his cronies are gone, we stopped Goosebumpsfan, unleashed our powers, and the bronies are no longer in control.”

[Clappy: Thanks for the recap asshole, but CD asked if the sky was clear. Not for a recap of today's events.]

[Hayden: Were the powers technically even theirs?]

“You know what this calls for: a party!” Deli said.

[Hayden: Perfect, you can pick up some subs from the Deli.]

[Fred: Calm down. We can all celebrate after this ends.]

[Jjs: Ah, I remember when we partied til we were purple in the Parties section. Good times...better than the ones in this story.]

[SOF: Get Pinkie Pie in on the party if you want to force in another cartoon character cameo and still make this an "MLP lit".]

[Steel: And after that, you can all roast your faithful hero for dragging you all into this quest, but then again, we already got that taken care of.]

”Yes, when we get back, we shall commence a celebration,” said Jjs.

[Clappy: Yes, because I can totally read Jjs wording his announcement just like that.]

[Jjs: Pip! Pip! Cheerio!]

The scene then goes to the hotel room, but without the bronies.

[Jjs: And so the enslaved bronies pretty much amounted to nothing and had zero point in being in the story. What a way to make people care about the brony fad. :) ]

[Clappy: So without everyone on SBC too by that logic.]

“It was too bad we had to return the book,” said Jelly.

[SOF: Oh yeah...they had a book. I forgot about that too.]

“But we still had the adventure of a lifetime,” said Steel, “Someday in history, everybody will remember us.”

[Jjs: I highly doubt it, since it took me a long time to even remember this literature's existence, so...]

[Clappy: Wow, the way that quote was worded really made my skin crawl. What a pretentious statement.]

[Hayden: No, this is not going in any history book. This is not even a footnote. Then again, 6 years later and here we are remembering. :o ]

[Fred: When he said "adventure of a lifetime", I was about to be triggered to make a reference to the Coldplay song. Then again, why should we add Coldplay to this?]

[Steel: Too bad everyone will remember how bad this miniseries was.]

“Okay, so now what? We can all go home?” Elastic asked.

[SOF: Yes, please. Can we end this now?]

There was a slight pause and then Steel says, “Yeah, pretty much, we’ll be waiting once we return on SBC.”

[Clappy: Are we really supposed to believe that everyone waited for Steel to give them the okay to go home? Are you fucking kidding me?]

[Hayden: Again, Steel determines how their lives play out. Like his little dolls. If he had told them all to cosplay as Phineas and Ferb characters and continue going to the convention, they would've listened instead of getting back to their families.]

While we see the SBC members exit the hotel, Steel does a narration upon seeing him write a letter.

[Jjs: Of course Steel gets the final lines of the story.]

[Clappy: Because Steel as a character hasn't sounded anymore arrogant than he has in this last part, why not?]

[Hayden: Steel saw himself write the letter and narrated it? Mindfuck.]

[Steel: This must be the part where my fictionalized self writes his friendship letter. Lucky for you all, I got a glimpse of the first draft: Dear SBC, I learned absolutely nothing. Your faithful hero, Steel.]

“Dear SBC,

[SBC: *throws letter in the trash before beginning to read the rest of it*]

[Steel: If you get this letter, please give my lit a great review. I just hope it doesn't end up being riffed in the future.]

[Steel: And this was all he wrote because an atomic Rainboom suddenly (and conveniently!) hit him. End.]

[Hayden: Because an internet community wants a hand-written letter mailed to them.]

I don’t know why I’m writing this,

[Jjs: Accurate.]

[SOF: A little honesty never hurts.]

[Hayden: To make the story feel like it has an ending instead of all the SBCers going "welp" and scramming.]

[Fred: I don't understand why I read it. At 1 in the fucking morning.]

but I’m certain I suddenly wanting to do this to wrap things up.

[Clappy: You certain you suddenly want to do this? You can't even proofread your own letter to the whole site?]

[Hayden: He's certain this letter will make the last 7 parts some cohesive and profound statement.]

[Fred: I'm suddenly wanting to take you to grammar school. Lesson 1: Out-of-Place Words.]

[Steel: I suppose you're going to give them....a Winter Wrap-Up? Hehehe....]

I spent a day with my e-friends from SBC,

[Steel: But only 19 of you. Fuck the rest of you, SBC.]

[Hayden: I hope he got his money back for that weekend hotel room.]

[Fred: I don't recall more than 24 hours being a day.]

[Jjs: Those events only lasted a day? Hard to believe since it felt like an eternity.]

[SOF: I call bull. No way in hell did the events of this last only a day.]

[Steel: It was messed up, but it turned out alright since we managed to save the Earth from impending doom.]

and it turned out unexpected, great, and quite risky.

We’ve accomplished a lot of things, unleash the power of the Elements of Harmony, vanquish ACS, Goosey, Rainbow Dash, and some others,

[Jjs: I wouldn't give 'em names either. Poor spambots, ACS' "brothers", JCM, tvfan, Hasfarr, and 4EverGreen.]

[Hayden: Recap mania never ends.]

[Clappy: This is great evidence for the upcoming arrest warrant for all these killings.]

[SOF: I guess this really goes to show how important the other enemies were if they are reduced to a simple "some others".]

and passed through all these obstacles. I’ve learned barely anything during our quest,

[Jjs: And I barely learned anything from this, so that makes two of us.]

[Clappy: Make that three.]

[SOF: Make it four.]

[Steel: See, what did I tell you? My fictionalized self didn't learn anything.]

[Hayden: There's really only one response I have to this.

33f5785ebe6946eee594ada8313f3181.gif ]

but it was still epic,

[Jjs: What's your definition of "epic"?]

[Steel: That's an unusual way of spelling "chaotic."]

and I’m thinking about doing another the next time destiny approaches.

[SOF: No thanks.]

[Clappy: NO NO NO, I BEG YOU, PLEASE!]

[Fred: One "The Dark Side of the Herd" is bad enough, we don't need another.]

[Hayden: PART 8! ENCORE! THE CROWD WANTS MORE OF YOUR KNACK TO NOT ENCOUNTER ANY LIFE LESSONS!]

[Jjs: Was this supposed to be a possible sequel hook? How the hell would you have even continued this?]

Your faithful student,

[Clappy: Is student a new member group yet? Can we banish Steel and SOF to the student group?]

[Steel: Just banish my old self, even DSOTH!SOF deserved better.]

[Hayden: The sequel series will be SBC Academy. Where each week they have adventures with a new fad in class and learn nothing.]

Steel Sponge,” he finished.

THE END

[Steel: Well, it's finally done - for real. The only way I can cap this off now is with the joke I should've pulled earlier, yet I can use it now since this sums up the entire story very nicely:

 

]

[Mistah Rechid: Steel Sponge, I read your 7 chapter paper and I gotta tell you, it's the most messed up shit in the history of my teaching career. And I now just started at the SpongeBob Community High School. It gets an F-- from me, now go to the principal's office ASAP.]

[Jjs: This was honestly one of the worst finales to anything I've seen in SBC history. I...can't even begin to describe it. Holy shit.]

[SOF: That was...awful. From the terrible plot twists, to the boring action, and rushed pacing, this left a very bad taste in my mouth...like a stale chocolate bar.]

[Clappy: Yeah, this was humiliating to riff. I legitimately feel bad for this part ending on such a terrible note.]

Reviews appreciated.

[Jjs: Gladly. You know, even with Riffing Theater about to end in two projects from now, it's amazing we're still finding stories that are aging this horribly. Steel has done MUCH better than this, and so has SOF, whether for writing or ideas. No, this isn't all-time bad or anything, we're not talking Eddsworld Meets SpongeBob bad...but honestly guys, I thought this lit sucked. I'm not joking with my ATTWL 3 comparisons, I really think it's almost as bad at some points. I'm sorry Steel and "SOF", but where do I even begin? Let's start with the fact it pretty much had no identity. What the hell was this miniseries trying to be? At first, it's supposed to be "satirizing" the brony fad, but then it drops Channel Awesome elements on us to poorly parody Suburban Knights and Kickassia, and then we get Phineas & Ferb elements thrown in. It had zero identity. But that's just the beginning of my problems. The tone is terrible. It tries to be serious at parts, but the characters don't really bounce off each other well enough for that to work. The jokes clash with the tone horribly, and fall completely flat on their face, as shown in this finale. The "characterizations" range from boring to ATTWL 3 levels of terrible. You know there's a MAJOR problem when I just find myself not caring if the SBC members save the world or not. They come off as either boring or uncaring jerks, such as in chapters 2 & 4. The pacing is awful. Even when the "plot" (which is disjointed and all over the place) starts, it still feels somehow like not much is even happening, and that's probably due to how the story feels bare bones. When it's not as slow as molasses, other parts go by way too fast, much like this finale. This finale was extremely rushed, and throws too much at you in little time for you to care about what's even happening.

Next up, as I hinted, it's completely unoriginal and uninspired. I lost count on how many times the "plots" and "characterizations" (ACS and Goosey being villains, OMJ being "badass", Drag being "goofy", the users getting together somewhere, the brony fad, the users going on some quest, etc.) were done so much better by people around this time like Clappy, OMJ, Elastic, tvguy, and even Steel himself in his other works. This lit borrowing those elements isn't a bad thing in and of itself, but it does nothing new or exciting with them. If you're going to take potshots at shamed members, at least make them feel like they have a purpose and aren't cardboard cutouts. ACS is the "villain", but he hardly does anything until his anti-climatic demise, and he's barely given a decent motivation for being the "villain". At least other works around this time gave some sort of backstory on why ACS was an ass, but this just tosses him in as a villain because why not, resulting in this ACS seeming like a bland cliche. Lew added literally nothing to the story. When I have minor villains in stories, at least they have some sort of reason to be there. Goosey being the "true villain" was an awful and out of nowhere twist, it feels like it was only added in to make the lit an extra part longer. It's very jarring with his earlier characterization of him wanting nothing to do with ACS. Bringing me to the next point, this story is also very sloppy and inconsistent. First they're heading to a convention (which was still never fully explained btw), then they cosplay as Channel Awesome reviewers for no reason...in fact, that reminds me, the whole "users cosplaying as reviewers" thing went NOWHERE. What did it add to the story? It's like Steel and "SOF" realized how odd that was, and abruptly wrote that element off with zero explanation. After that, the plot finally kicks in where they go on an element hunt, because the world is at stake for whatever reason. Finally, ACS dies and Goosey is somehow the real "mastermind", who wants to take over the world with zero build-up. It feels all over the place. There's other things that go completely nowhere, such as 4EverGreen and Storytime's random appearances, the enslaved bronies, the convention, and that scene from the very first chapter with my character as a detective (and the awful Onix joke). Oh yeah...remember that? I wouldn't blame people for forgetting. What the hell was the point of that scene? Was it supposed to be pointless, or was my character supposed to have a larger role, or what? I know I'm making a big deal out of one small (and stupid) scene...but it really does show what a disjointed mess this was. Again, it was from the start planned to be SEVEN CHAPTERS. If you can't keep your story consistent for seven chapters, that's inexcusable to me.

Now for the pony stuff. A lit based on the brony fad sounds cool in theory, but the whole brony element kind of feels...phoned in? It didn't feel like they even wanted it to be there. The few MLP elements there are barely amount to anything, I felt nothing during them because the references just feel soulless, and impact nothing at all. It does nothing to really draw in any MLP fans, because it can't really decide what it wants to be about. If it had more MLP references, or something, it could've actually drawn in MLP fans better. If you want to parody one of the Channel Awesome movies, fine, but at least have it tie into what it was supposed to be about. You could've had the users cosplay as MLP characters, that would've made sense. Hell, if you really wanted this to be an SBC+MLP lit, you could've had the SBC members get transported to Equestria and meet MLP characters or whatever. Sure, Down Under already did that similar premise (and horribly), but just because that similar concept was done before doesn't mean Steel couldn't have done something original with it. At least it would've kept the actual pony theme, and maybe would've had an actual identity unlike whatever this mess was supposed to be. But the fact my idea was already done before does show how little original things you could've done with this basic concept to begin with...more on that at the end.

Also, I honestly think this is worse than Can You Please Past the Future, Steel's other personal shame. While that still isn't very good, at least it abruptly stopped after those two chapters and had some sort of identity. This got to tell its complete "story", so you can't say "But jjs, it could've improved if it continued! :( " Nope, that's not going to work this time, because this literally told its story. It can't continue because this was the ending. Steel and "SOF" had always planned for this to be 7 parts, and I'm judging this on the complete product we got. Since this is complete, I'm going to be much more critical on it. 

I will say that if this had ended right after ACS died, it would've been a little better...but not by much. But the worst part of it all, and the biggest sin this commits to me, is that...it had zero reason to exist. You may be confused by that. Stay with me, hear me out. It was only made due to one fad back in 2011. Yes, the brony fad was popular, but come on guys, did we really need an entire literature to basically tell us "yup, these SpongeBob users like ponies, hur hur xD"? That's pretty much all this boiled down to. It tried to (soullessly) cash in on the success of that fad, but I can't say it does that, since the MLP elements feel thrown off into the background with no rhyme or reason. Yes, I'm aware several other creations around this time satirized the brony fad, and I know I did in Rusty's Raping Rampage. Here's the thing though. When I satirized the brony fad in RRR, at least it was only for one episode, and it actually tried to draw in MLP fans in a caring way. I moved on after that, I didn't make some "epic" multi-parter out of it. There was no real need to make an entire literature based on the brony fad. Satirizing that worked better as one-off stories or gags in creations, not an entire literature. If you want to make a lit on MLP itself, sure, but...an entire literature based on internet users liking ponies? There's only so far you can run with that basic premise even for a miniseries, so I'm not surprised this had so much other crap thrown into it. Maybe if it had executed the pony elements better, it could've had a reason to exist, but as it stands the way it was, it had no reason to exist. Literally nothing new was brought to the table in execution as I said above. The fact this had no reason to exist is honestly the worst possible thing I can say about it.]

[Clappy: Yeah, this was fucking terrible. I'm amazed at how many of these stories keep aging so badly. I honestly don't even know what else to say that can't be said because this was pretty horrible to read. I hate to repeat what others are going to say, or at least Jjs, but this was such a soulless cash-in on what's popular to write about: SBC themed lits and ponies (and to some extent That Guy With the Glasses...seriously, I still can't believe that and Phineas and Ferb somehow got forced into this mess). This seriously had no reason to exist. It did absolutely nothing new and nothing original that other writers weren't doing better like myself, Jjs, Elastic, OMJ, hell even Steel himself. Lazy can't even begin to describe how worthless this story was because not only can it not come up with original plots, but it can't even come up with new tropes that haven't been done before. If you can't bring anything new or anything exciting to the table, then just leave it on the drawing board saved to your desktop and not share it with the rest of us.]

[Renegade: *sigh* OK...you wanna know how I called The Killer Krab the worst thing I've ever riffed? I take that back. The Killer Krab is actually GOOD when compared to this piece of shit. Contrived ripoff plots, ass pulls as far as the eye can see...and it was just painful all around. I know I'm gonna repeat what everyone else will, but this really had no reason to exist, and I can see why Steel considers this a shame. He's gotten so much better in writing since then, and as for SOF...I'm sure he doesn't look back on this too fondly either. SO THANK YOU, DARK SIDE OF THE HERD, FOR BEING THE WORST THING I'VE EVER RIFFED!]

[Fred: I can't say that this was the worst literature I've ever riffed. Oh wait, I can. Like, what was it supposed to be? A That Guy with the Glasses cosplay? An MLP-based adventure? A Phineas and Ferb-based adventure? The more chapters I riffed, the more confused I got, the more forgettable they got. Like wow. Just.......wow. My eyes hurt, my brain is scrambled, and now I gotta hit the sack. Finally. Screw this lit. Hard in the ass. Like ACS did.]

[SOF: This was a flat out mess. I don't think it was as bad as ATTWL 3, but I am still pretty disappointed in how this turned out, even with my lulzy "Executive Producer" position. You all know by now how I didn't contribute that much to this, but I did suggest a few ideas that ruined a lot of the story's flow. Goosey being the true villain, and the Nostalgia Critic elements were both my ideas, and I know now neither of them even needed to be in this from the start. Steel and I both had entirely different visions for this, and colliding them together without much planning hurt this overall. Back in fall 2011, I was a huge NC fan, so that's why I suggested some NC references and jokes be made, but they just came off forced and cringey in-context. The fact I contributed to both of those elements makes me just as guilty to this, and why I consider it my last personal shame riffed here. I don't think mixing My Little Pony, Channel Awesome, and Phineas & Ferb was a good idea to begin with, and further shows the confusing vision this had. I also admit I didn't feel I was ready to be a writer at the time of this, which is why I didn't help Steel actually write it. This also later contributed to why SECC (and later ATTWL 3) was a disaster in that same time period. I just didn't think it through all the way. Hopefully someday I can try to do something with a co-writer by my side again, and actually have our visions blend together in a less strange way. This is SOF, signing out.]

[Steel: Looks like I'm the last to have my say on how horrid it was looking back at the pile of mess that was Dark Side of the Herd. Just when I said this was my old shame, it was practically for the same reasons as to why Woahwoah Reviews was an old shame for me, which was for making a few infamous SBC/tv.com members written like laughingstocks when they didn't deserve to be treated so much like punching bags. As you can tell, I don't think CYPPtF is the worst thing I've ever written. This is. Going back to Dark Side of the Herd, in this timeframe, was like opening up Pandora's box. That's how awful it was. And how awful did I think it was? I'll be honored to take home the title for having the worst piece of literature on SBC ever written...and I'm only saying this out of spite. It's safer to say that Dark Side of the Herd is the Star Wars Holiday Special of spin-offs/lits, because I am absolutely horrified that I actually wrote this thing. It's so bad, that I deleted the document that I've had containing this story, and if I was able to, or if I had the audacity to, I would've deleted the entire Lit. I've also been keeping quiet about this, but you can seriously tell how lazily written this thing was once I speak of how it was written. You want to know when I started writing the miniseries? The week before its release. You want to know how many episodes of MLP:FiM I've seen while writing it up? Not 20, not 10, but SEVEN, including the Season 2 two-parter. So, I stand by my general consensus that not only is this the worst thing I've ever written, but this is one of the laziest spin-offs/lits ever written, and as if I haven't acknowledged all this before, the story suffers from a contrived plot with very few thrills, a cartoony, over-the-top approach, the characters of SOF and I being glorified as protagonists, the rest of the SBC members of this story being reduced to the point where they show no significance and just play the role of an entourage, ridiculously straightforward dialogue from the "less important" SBCers to make the two protagonists look more smarter and dependable in comparison, lacking a true identity, in which elements of MLP, TGWTG, and even Phineas & Ferb are forced into it, sheer conveniences happening all over the place and for the sake of the plot, cheap cliched villains, occasional grammar issues, dialogue occasionally sugarcoated with wordplay that doesn't fit within what the characters are trying to say, boring and predictable fights, boring characters, boring exposition, and a ton of other things that I can't fit in this text, but most of all...JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN THIS STORY DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE WHATSOEVER! Why does my fictionalized self want to take his e-friends to a convention and dress them up like Internet critic from TGWTG? Why do the Elements of Harmony exist in the real world? Why does Goosey want to take over the Tri-State Area? Why do Storytime and Sabre randomly show up? WHY WAS THIS EVEN WRITTEN IN THE FIRST PLACE? Well, you guys would be in disbelief if I said that the whole concept, in which it uses elements of MLP:FiM, is not a cash-in, but something that just wrote itself and I decided to go along with it. It could've been a good idea, but it turned into something awful.

Also, if you guys think that I'm blowing out of proportion by declaring this Lit as a solid contender for the worst piece of literature on SBC, don't forget that I'm only saying that out of spite and I'm not actually encouraging you folks to call this the worst. I also have a strong guilt complex and have a good number of old shames: My Digimon Lit, which I wouldn't be surprised if it never gets on Riffing Theater, because the only thing anyone would rile on about is the shameless plagiarism of the first few episodes of Digimon Adventure. SBCrats, but gladly enough, it ended when it was starting to get worse. The original Z-Storm story, which ended up being discontinued due to the messy, fairly cliched storyline. Woahwoah Reviews, because of one reason I've already stated earlier, but I'm also surprised it still has some of its fans, and that even Woahwoah himself approved of the Lit's humor. And then there's CYPPtF, which I already covered last year in Riffing Theater. Now, to change the subject here I just want to call out those who claimed "Eddsworld Meets Spongebob" as the worst. Think about this for a moment: which is more surprising, an SBCer, who's probably a lot younger than he says he is, writing a spin-off filled with grammar and pacing issues, or an SBCer, who was 16 at the time, writing a miniseries on the spot with few grammar issues, but a lot pacing issues, along with all that I've said that that hasn't already been said about DSOTH, while almost every part of it wants to be taken seriously? Also, is DSOTH a solid contender for the worst? That's up to you guys, but most people will otherwise have a different opinion on what they feel is "the worst," so DSOTH may not be "the worst." Furthermore, I want you all to keep this in mind: Most people don't write fanfics so that they could feel like they're professional writers, it's all for trying to entertain themselves and other readers. My past self probably didn't enjoy writing this and wanted to get it out of the way, so I'm going to make it absolutely sure that I NEVER make this fatal mistake in the present. Anyways, I had a good time riffing this old shame of mine, especially since it allowed for me to change my mind about CYPPtF being my biggest regret.

By the way, I'm not actually quite done with DSOTH just yet. I have a score to settle with it....

Part 8 (The Mock Chapter), coming soon...]

[Hayden: I really want that mock chapter right now. An earned treat for the fruits of this labor. We only have two riffs left, and I'm glad that, spoiler, neither of them will be about magical horses. That's what I call a Bright Side of the Herd.]

 

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Good riddance to this catastrophe. Loved you guys' riffs and ending rants. Really summed up everything that sucked about this.

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Jjs' essay at the end took every word out of my mouth. He even brought up the awful tone of this lit, the main problem with this lit that actually irritated me most. I went into this story completely expecting the storytelling, pacing, and SBC characterizations to be shit, but I did not expect how bad the tone would be. I'm not going to take a dumb story Steel wrote six years ago too seriously...but that's exactly the problem. This story takes itself too seriously while constantly trying to be "self-aware" of its stupidity. No no no. If you want to write a stupid story about ponies that doesn't make sense, roll with that shit. Don't just keep saying that it's bad, go nuts with the nonsense.

Steel's essay at the end actually made me want to defend Steel...from Steel. No, I'm not getting on the riffs for being too harsh or anything. It's just that there's some jazz here that doesn't jive with me. Removing everything about the story and lamenting that much about something you wrote six years ago is not going to solve anything. Don't want to get on Clappy, but neither is just leaving the story on the desktop and not sharing it with anyone. That is not how it works. You write shit, you look at that shit and see what you can do to improve it. And the reason we show other writers that shit is because of how invaluable it can be to get a second opinion.

This story failed because of a lack of discipline on both Steel and SOF's end. The setup dooms it from the getgo. Just imagine how much bumbling could have been avoided in the first two episodes without the TGWTG gathering crap and how much less rushed the final battle with the SBCers and the twist villain would be without Goosey. I'm glad SOF took accountability for some of this, but I don't think Steel realizes how much it impacted the story. I trust that SOF didn't suggest Phineas and Ferb to be included at the last minute, but I'm sorry, when you throw Goosey in at the last minute when you already have a villain who's all about My Little Pony...the rest speaks for itself.

I don't think that this story "added nothing new". I think it added too much new that wasn't good because it was still in the concept stage. And with only seven chapters to tell the story it wanted to tell with all these characters, the only things that got fleshed out were the things that weren't new. It's almost like Down Under trying to tell its incoherent mess of a story in seven episodes. I'm not trying to play the devil's advocate, I'm just saying what's on my mind here. You can't throw all this shit in a blender and expect a smoothie, especially when you've overloaded the blender. You can't make a good smoothie without the right mixture.

I did love all the riffs, I just wanted to try saying something new at the end while reiterating what's already been said well enough as little as possible. Then again, I say stuff like this all the time. So, once again...

576660__safe_solo_animated_spoiler-colon

 

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I'm honestly proud of how great my and everyone else's riffs turned out. Guess this lit was very easy to tear apart. What with all of the MLP, P&F, and TGWTG (abbreviations lmfao!) elements mixed in, I got very lost in the story. And I still don't get how this whole adventure lasted one day according to epilogue!Steel. Did they ever get any nights to sleep or did time just slow down for them? I don't know and I don't care. Just glad how fine these riffs turned out and I can't wait to riff the next project we do.

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"I don't want to get on Clappy..." then proceeds to get on Clappy a couple times in his last comment.  Very well then.  Must defend my stance because I've been name dropped.

That is not what I meant and I thought others realized that.  One of the many purposes of the riffing theater is for comedic entertainment, while proceeding to cover second opinions like you elegantly stated.  Do you think I mean every single thing I type in my riffs seriously?  Of course not.  As Jjs once told me, if anything I say would be deemed offensive or harsh, he would gladly remove it and often times I remind him that when we talk about the riffs.  If Jjs and Steel thought that my comment was harsh, they would have gladly removed it and I would have had zero problems with that because I wouldn't want either of them to be harmed by my words.  I consider Steel a friend and I'm sure he would know that I wouldn't want him to not share any of his stories with this site no matter how good or bad anyone on this site would see them.  I thought you would realize that to and not take that comment so literally, but as we all know, not everything we type is indicated with sarcasm tags, so I hope you know now that I don't actually mean anything by that.  I like to get involved with the riffing theater crew for fun and play off the stories we riff for comedic purposes, not to kick people down and tell them what they can or cannot share with our site.

However, I disagree with your stance about adding too much new.  My interpretation of the story was that the only new element being added was My Little Pony, which I do admit is a new idea.  But the most important element (not an intentional pun) is the execution and that was definitely not new.  The ground works for the story were very similar to And Then There Were Less in execution of all the SBCers being sent to *insert random location here and split up into groups to figure out...well in this case where the six elements of harmonies are* while also being very similar to Down Under and SBCPU in execution of overcoming the big bad guy and going on journeys and what have you.  Also executing your characters with such SBC fanfic tropes from the antagonists portrayals, to making your stars out to be badasses, and having so many side characters be so one dimensionally bland...yeah I'm sorry but with the amount of times we've come across these tropes while riffing, not new.  I don't think Steel brought any new ideas in terms of the execution of this story, even if the idea of adding the My Little Pony, TGWTG Suburban Knights, and Phineas and Ferb elements were.

Thank you Steel for sharing this story with us.  We all have stories we are ashamed of and I hope you came out of this feeling unscathed because you've done so much for the spin-off community to know that one or two stories don't determine how someone is as a writer.

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40 minutes ago, Clappy said:

"I don't want to get on Clappy..." then proceeds to get on Clappy a couple times in his last comment.  Very well then.  Must defend my stance because I've been name dropped.

That is not what I meant and I thought others realized that.  One of the many purposes of the riffing theater is for comedic entertainment, while proceeding to cover second opinions like you elegantly stated.  Do you think I mean every single thing I type in my riffs seriously?  Of course not.  As Jjs once told me, if anything I say would be deemed offensive or harsh, he would gladly remove it and often times I remind him that when we talk about the riffs.  If Jjs and Steel thought that my comment was harsh, they would have gladly removed it and I would have had zero problems with that because I wouldn't want either of them to be harmed by my words.  I consider Steel a friend and I'm sure he would know that I wouldn't want him to not share any of his stories with this site no matter how good or bad anyone on this site would see them.  I thought you would realize that to and not take that comment so literally, but as we all know, not everything we type is indicated with sarcasm tags, so I hope you know now that I don't actually mean anything by that.  I like to get involved with the riffing theater crew for fun and play off the stories we riff for comedic purposes, not to kick people down and tell them what they can or cannot share with our site.

However, I disagree with your stance about adding too much new.  My interpretation of the story was that the only new element being added was My Little Pony, which I do admit is a new idea.  But the most important element (not an intentional pun) is the execution and that was definitely not new.  The ground works for the story were very similar to And Then There Were Less in execution of all the SBCers being sent to *insert random location here and split up into groups to figure out...well in this case where the six elements of harmonies are* while also being very similar to Down Under and SBCPU in execution of overcoming the big bad guy and going on journeys and what have you.  Also executing your characters with such SBC fanfic tropes from the antagonists portrayals, to making your stars out to be badasses, and having so many side characters be so one dimensionally bland...yeah I'm sorry but with the amount of times we've come across these tropes while riffing, not new.  I don't think Steel brought any new ideas in terms of the execution of this story, even if the idea of adding the My Little Pony, TGWTG Suburban Knights, and Phineas and Ferb elements were.

Thank you Steel for sharing this story with us.  We all have stories we are ashamed of and I hope you came out of this feeling unscathed because you've done so much for the spin-off community to know that one or two stories don't determine how someone is as a writer.

Well fuckn' said, Clappy.

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28 minutes ago, Clappy said:

"I don't want to get on Clappy..." then proceeds to get on Clappy a couple times in his last comment.  Very well then.  Must defend my stance because I've been name dropped.

That is not what I meant and I thought others realized that.  One of the many purposes of the riffing theater is for comedic entertainment, while proceeding to cover second opinions like you elegantly stated.  Do you think I mean every single thing I type in my riffs seriously?  Of course not.  As Jjs once told me, if anything I say would be deemed offensive or harsh, he would gladly remove it and often times I remind him that when we talk about the riffs.  If Jjs and Steel thought that my comment was harsh, they would have gladly removed it and I would have had zero problems with that because I wouldn't want either of them to be harmed by my words.  I consider Steel a friend and I'm sure he would know that I wouldn't want him to not share any of his stories with this site no matter how good or bad anyone on this site would see them.  I thought you would realize that to and not take that comment so literally, but as we all know, not everything we type is indicated with sarcasm tags, so I hope you know now that I don't actually mean anything by that.  I like to get involved with the riffing theater crew for fun and play off the stories we riff for comedic purposes, not to kick people down and tell them what they can or cannot share with our site.

However, I disagree with your stance about adding too much new.  My interpretation of the story was that the only new element being added was My Little Pony, which I do admit is a new idea.  But the most important element (not an intentional pun) is the execution and that was definitely not new.  The ground works for the story were very similar to And Then There Were Less in execution of all the SBCers being sent to *insert random location here and split up into groups to figure out...well in this case where the six elements of harmonies are* while also being very similar to Down Under and SBCPU in execution of overcoming the big bad guy and going on journeys and what have you.  Also executing your characters with such SBC fanfic tropes from the antagonists portrayals, to making your stars out to be badasses, and having so many side characters be so one dimensionally bland...yeah I'm sorry but with the amount of times we've come across these tropes while riffing, not new.  I don't think Steel brought any new ideas in terms of the execution of this story, even if the idea of adding the My Little Pony, TGWTG Suburban Knights, and Phineas and Ferb elements were.

Thank you Steel for sharing this story with us.  We all have stories we are ashamed of and I hope you came out of this feeling unscathed because you've done so much for the spin-off community to know that one or two stories don't determine how someone is as a writer.

Two things.

One, of course I knew you did not seriously mean that Steel should have just never shown us the story or imply anything malicious. I was not getting on you. That was also an exaggeration. If anything, the rant was "getting on" Steel. Because not only do I name drop Steel right from the getgo, if you match up your one line with his essay where he bemoaned ever creating the story, you can see something that might discourage a newcoming writer. That was the issue I had.

Second, you say you disagree with my stance about adding nothing new by saying that the execution was nothing new. But if you look back at what I wrote...

"I think it added too much new that wasn't good because it was still in the concept stage. And with only seven chapters to tell the story it wanted to tell with all these characters, the only things that got fleshed out were the things that weren't new."

Basically, I said, "the new things aren't executed, and the executed things aren't new". So I think we're actually together on that. I wasn't bullshitting when I said it wasn't getting on you, this is not the face of someone who wants to start SBC Rap Battles when they name-drop someone.maud-pie-my-little-pony-friendship-is-ma

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It's back, baby. And so begins our penultimate riff.

Undersea Mysteries Incorporated

1. Beware the Beast from the Sea

Spoiler

[Jjs: Welcome all, to our penultimate riffing project, and our last big riff. This is Undersea Mysteries Incorporated, my true personal shame. Some of you may be confused by that, but yes, this is my truest personal shame instead of Parallel Universe, Soap Opera, or even Scooter's Paradise. I wouldn't blame people if they entirely forgot this existed, since it pretty much is only known as a "spin-off that happened" in my career. There's a good reason I haven't really mentioned this since its brief run in late 2010 to early 2011. I've been ashamed of how it turned out for years, and just really wanted to forget about it. This was my attempt to parody Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated (a show I liked around this time), SpongeBob style, because...why not. Sounds cool in theory, but unfortunately a lot went wrong:

1.) I was 13 years old at the time I wrote it, so don't expect Shakespeare level writing.

2.) SDMI went on a hiatus midway into its first season, and since I had no clue when it'd come back, I had to wing my own story for the second half. This results in a lot of plot holes, inconsistencies and things not making sense when compared to the first half.

3.) However, even before then, the first half wasn't good either, since it was mostly me trying to mediocrely copy SDMI episodes. Due to the fact I was writing this in a tv.com style format, any form of depth, pacing, or characterization those episodes had got lost. I don't think the tv.com format excuses a lot of the sloppy and lazy writing in the first half, since many others were able to make compelling stories in the tv.com format. It's pretty clear I was rushing this out in the beginning just because SDMI existed (and that's literally the only reason this was made).

I did try rebooting this back in 2013 for one whole episode (!), but eventually lost interest in it, along with the fact I still had some guilt over how the original turned out. There's also many other problems that contributed to the original's failure, but I don't want to give everything away yet, like an actual good mystery.]

[Katniss: I've never seen Mystery Incorporated, but riffing this parody of it should still be interesting. *buckles in* Let's get this show on the road, y'all.]

[Hayden: I have seen all of Mystery Incorporated and was around for some of Jjs' fan days back when it was airing. Show ended two short months before Riffing Theater. Hopefully that history can sharpen my riffing reflexes.]

[Steel: Hey all, I just want to say that I have indulged in this spin-off before and I can even remember considering this as one of my absolute favorite spin-offs/lits that I read.

I was 15 at the time and when Jjs says that this spin-off wasn't really good in retrospect, then I might as well treat myself to this spin-off again to see if it'll end up tasting like spoiled milk as of now. But who knows? I gave Killer Krab a bit of a pass, so maybe I'll handle USMI enough?]

[SOF: I was active around the time this was made, and remember reading at least the first half, but eventually lost interest in it due to my younger self finding the story too confusing (lol). However, I barely remember any of it, so I guess I'll be going into this mostly blind. I am going to be keeping my expectations relatively low, as it's safe to say something from seven years ago is not going to age well at all, especially with how jjs is describing it.]

1. Beware the Beast from the Sea : Plot: Spongebob says to Sandy, Squidward, Patrick and Gary," Yay, another mystery solved!" As soon as all 5 try to walk out the room, the jail cell closes on them. Officer Nancy says," I told you kids to stop Solving Mysteries. See this badge? Leave it to the police."

[Hayden: SpongeBob and company then lawyered up and sued the police department for improper arrest.]

[SOF: See this rushed introduction? Leave it to the riffers.]

[Jjs: Okay, STOP. Much like SpongeBoy rushing us into its beginning, so does this. We've barely begun and I'm already baffled.

One, they aren't "kids". When I made this, everyone was written in mind as the same age they currently are in the show. I figured I'd clarify this just so people don't think we're riffing SpongeBoy 2.0, the so-called "USMI rip-off" (though surprisingly this also shares a few issues with that...you'll see the more we go along).

Two, SpongeBob and friends began solving mysteries when and why, exactly? It's literally never explained once in this spin-off why they randomly decided to copy Scooby-Doo and solve mysteries. I know this beginning is copy and pasted from SDMI's pilot, but there it actually made sense because it was with characters we already knew solved mysteries. Here, we're just supposed to believe SpongeBob, Sandy, Squidward (who I honestly doubt would even give a shit about mystery solving, but I digress), Patrick and Gary made their own little group off-screen because...why not. Nice job throwing us into the beginning with zero context. Unfortunately, this is also probably the least of the spin-off's problems. Boy, we really are off to a good start.]

[Katniss: Yeah, slow down there Jethro. You just threw us right into the action without any backstory explaining what the hell is going on. What mystery were they solving? Why were they put in jail? Mermaid Man, where are you?]

[Steel: Well, as long as it has a little less Scooby-Doo quotes shamelessly thrown in the mix and business going on as usual, we're in good hands, right?

First sentence in, and I can say that this felt pretty rushed.]

Spongebob says," I wish some people would like it if we solved a mystery for once.." A few minutes later, Officer Nancy lets them out. She says," Silly me, I can't keep kids in Jail. But seriously, leave it to the police."

[Jjs: So nice, she had to say "Leave it to the police" twice. Loving the copypasta dialogue.]

[Hayden: Well she sure treated a serious job fuck-up very nonchalantly.]

[Katniss: Oh, my bad. Officer Nancy didn't have them in jail, she had them in Jail. Capitalization is Very Important.]

[Steel: Jail is probably a famous restaurant chain while SpongeBob and friends didn't realize they needed a police badge to hang in this joint. It should make sense if it has a capital J in front of it.

btw, word of advice from 7 years into the future: start a new line when someone else is talking.]

Spongebob goes back to work and Mr. Krabs says," Boy, I know you have had solving mysteries a few months ago with your gang.

[Jjs: ...What? What the fuck does that even mean? Me no speak broken English. So far, I have to owe Past Steel an apology for getting on him about the lack of proofreading in Dark Side of the Herd, because boy, there's a lot of that here too.]

[Katniss: I should leave this to the grammar police.]

[Hayden: Add a "since" before "a few months ago". Still a run-on sentence but at least it fixes the exposition that Fred's father, I mean Mr. Krabs, is trying to impart.]

[Steel: "I know you have had solving mysteries a few months ago..."

Yeah, for that lack of proofreading, the editor has now been sacked.]

[SOF: We're barely more than a minute into the pilot, and so far, we've got a rushed introduction and a sloppy sentence. This is going to be fun.]

But one day, your going to make a mistake you will regret."

[Jjs: There's more than one mistake I regret about this spin-off, trust me.]

[Steel: And the writing itself is going to teach you a lesson you'll never forget.]

[SOF: Like that "your" instead of "you're."]

Spongebob says," You mean, not capturing a monster?" Mr.Krabs facepalms himself with his claw.

[Jjs: Thank you Mr. Krabs.]

[Hayden: tenor.gif ] 

[Steel: At this point, Jjs can't be anymore right about the writing, cuz' look at how those sentences were structured.

"You mean, not capturing a monster?" "You mean, if we don't capture a monster?"

Mr.Krabs facepalms himself with his claw. Mr. Krabs gives himself a facepalm by smacking his head with his claw.

That should do.]

Meanwhile, in a sewer, a few workers are digging.

[SOF: For what, exactly? Is there treasure down there? Workers have reasons to dig for things, and I doubt they'd just dig in a sewer of all places. I think THIS is a mystery they should try solving. I'm seriously more curious about this mystery instead of whatever the actual one is.]

One of them starts eating some blue ice cream

[Hayden: What flavor is that? Inquiring minds want to know.]

[Steel: >Some blue ice cream.

There's so little detail there that it's making me believe that they're eating crystal meth flavored ice cream.]

and falls back!

[SOF: That "some blue ice cream" must have been really heavy if this worker can't keep their own balance while holding it.]

He breaks open a brick wall,

[SOF: Apparently that worker is also made of steel if he can break right through a brick wall. What the hell?]

revealing a passage to some underground cavern. The worker says," We must have landed into one of the old Bikini Bottom Mines." Another worker walks through the cavern and notices some tanks of blue stuff. He says," Hey, what is this stuff?"

[Jjs: It's tanks of blue stuff. Didn't you read the description, jackass?]

[Katniss: It's purple drank.]

[Steel: The same ingredients used to make some blue ice cream.]

The 3rd Worker

[Jjs: The 3rd Worker is my favorite name.]

[Hayden: Only 2 workers were needed for this mysterious cavern scene. >:/]

[Steel: So important that both 3rd and Worker are capitalized.

Now what kind of parents would name their kid The 3rd Worker?]

[SOF: I'm personally more interested in the stories behind 1st Worker and 2nd Worker, but this guy will do.]

opens it and a giant stream of blue stuff explodes out of it! They all scream.

[Steel: Help, we're drowning in a river filled with Airheads Blue Raspberry Freeze!]

[SOF: It? Last I read, there were "tanks of blue stuff", plural. Did he only open one, or did all of the tanks become one object? Dammit, look at this spin-off making me think!]

Spongebob and Squidward then Walk out of The Krusty Krab after work ends.

[SOF: We go from three workers getting attacked by a blue stream to SpongeBob and Squidward walking out of the Krusty Krab. Smooth transition.]

Squidward says," Your lucky this didn't get on my record Spongebob! Me being in Jail would be bad for my Clarinet Club."

[Jjs: Clarinet Club? Who else is in this club that never gets mentioned again in the spin-off?]

[Hayden: Is Squidward in a high standing of this club? Or is he the only member?]

[Steel: Oh boy, that lack of proofreading is hurting me.]

They keep on walking, but just then, the manhole they are about to approach explodes! Squidward says," Sweet neptune, duck!"

[Steel: I guess Neptune isn't so important enough to be capitalized. You must not be a proud citizen of the deep blue if you can't use your omnipotence's name correctly.]

[SOF: When a manhole explodes right in front of you, I think you want to do more than "duck". Try running away from there.]

The manhole goes flying up and crashes down, luckily not hurting anyone.

[SOF: Not like there's anyone else around, apparently. If there any civilians around, it looks like we've got more ATTWL 3 cardboard cutouts, because I think real civilians would question what the hell is going on or run or scream.]

Lots of blue steam appears. Some odd,

[SOF: SpongeOdd.]

tall Blue Creature roars. It throws some blue goo at Spongebob, but he dodges and the monster disappears.

[Jjs: Wow, some monster that was if it immediately gave up after one dodge.]

[Hayden: Blue Goo....hey, that's the ice cream flavor! Love that kind. :D

[Steel: I guess it's no wonder why it's called "some blue ice cream" now: it's trademarked by Some odd, tall Blue Creature.]

[SOF: Some people, some blue ice cream, some blue goo, some underground cavern. How about putting in some effort with descriptions?]

Spongebob then pulls out his Shell Phone and calls Patrick and Sandy. He tells Patrick to grab Gary.

[Jjs: ...Why Patrick? Is he watching Gary right now for SpongeBob or something? Are they just together? I know I'm making a big deal out of one small line, but it really does show how little context and thought was put into any of this.]

[Hayden: Gary getting snubbed of a personal call. I'm going to assume Patrick can just transport Gary faster, but SpongeBob should invest in a snail scooter.]

[SOF: Apparently this episode predicted Pet Sitter Pat a year before it premiered. Spooky.]

All 5 arrive.

[Steel: Just in time for them to form the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers.]

[Jjs: Just like that. Also, it shouldn't be "all 5" because SpongeBob is already there, unless we're getting introduced to a sixth new member out of the blue. Wouldn't surprise me with how rushed this is so far.]

[Hayden: Squidward was there too, meaning only 3 had yet to arrive.]

Sandy says," Whoa, what happened here?" Squidward says," Well, at least we have some mystery to investigate."

[Jjs: Sandy asked what happened here, not to point out the obvious, asshole.]

[SOF: Silly jjs, when you see a manhole cover stuck in the ground, it's common sense that a giant blue slime monster caused it. That's Sandy's fault for not figuring it out on her own, stupid squirrels.]

[Katniss: Thanks for your concern, Squidward.]

[Steel: Nobody said you can speak, Squidward.]

[Hayden: axyfgyK.jpg?1 ]

They all climb down the broken manhole spot.

[Jjs: So I guess nobody is just going to answer Sandy.]

Sandy says," Hey, this is one of the old Bikini Bottom caverns!"

[SOF: Last I read, they were entering into the sewers, not the caverns. Transition, where are you? There's another mystery worth solving (and I still haven't forgotten about those shady workers!).]

They all have flashlights, except for Gary.

[Jjs: Poor Gary. :( Though, this line is actually a weirdly fitting metaphor for the spin-off overall. Gary represents me, and the "no flashlight" represents no overall plan for this spin-off.]

[Hayden: Gary needs to fight for better gang benefits, this is getting cruel.]

[Steel: #Snails4FlashlightRights2017]

Gary sniffs around the dark cave.

[SOF: Who needs flashlights when you have snail sniffing.]

Sandy shines her flashlight at some silver object. She says," Hey, what is this? A clue." It is some Silver Pendant.

[Jjs: Just like in the first episode of SDMI, but I made it silver instead of gold. Wow, how original.]

[Hayden: Bronze is definitely the lesser done.]

[Steel: I'm guessing the next episode will involve SpongeBob and co. investigating the Dile Folk in Dilesborough.]

She opens it up and there is a picture of 2 fish in it.

[SOF: Red fish and blue fish? That's what I'm gonna assume because we have no idea what either look like. Details, where are you as well?]

Spongebob views it and says," Nice work Sandy!" Patrick then shoves his flashlight in his mouth and shines it up on the top of the cavern.

[Jjs: Probably the most in-character thing anyone has done in this so far.]

[Steel: Just what I need from a children's spin-off to show me a scene of a sea star deep-throating a flashlight.]

All 3 workers are stuck in some blue cacoons!

[Grammar Police: Did you mean: cocoons]

[Hayden: I'm just going to believe they were all stuck in beans. http://www.dictionary.com/browse/cacoon ]

[Steel: Gee, isn't there any blue object that isn't considered "some blue?" I probably need to step outside and take a look at the some blue sky. Then again, I can always stay here in some blue underwear and watch some Blue's Clues, or hear a wolf howl at some blue corn moon.]

Officer Nancy then arrives in her police boat

[Jjs: Huh!? She drove her police boat all the way underground?! In reality, the three workers were taken above ground, but still, this poor transition would probably make some people think Officer Nancy just randomly appeared underground, and considering the pacing of this, that could've happened.]

[Katniss: That transition happened so quickly that my neck almost snapped.]

[SOF: It's a good thing jjs cleared that up, because I was about to have a lot of questions. But now I do have one: Is Officer Nancy the only police officer around here?]

[Steel: Deleted scene: Oh, mystery team, I'm both respecting your work on investigating but asserting your authority as a police officer by coming in anyway!

*Crashes into the mines with the police boat*]

and says," I knew I shouldn't have let you kids out of jail. See what happens? People get trapped into blue stuff!"

[Jjs: Remember: never let a bunch of innocent kids out of jail, or people get trapped in blue stuff.]

[Steel: Some blue stuff, but whatever floats your boat.]

[Hayden: tenor.gif ] 

Sandy says," But we found them like that!" Patrick says," Don't worry, I'll talk to her."

[SOF: I'm sure Patrick will be the best for negotiating.]

Patrick then runs up with one of the Workers trapped in the blue cacoon!

[Grammar Police: Did you mean: cocoon]

[Hayden: Who is growing all these blue beans?]

[SOF: See? What did I tell ya?]

[Jjs: Once again, my sincerest apologies to Past Steel. There's gonna be a lot more grammar errors in this, trust me.]

[Steel: I guess taking one of the workers trapped in a blue cocoon is so exciting that it needed an exclamation point. Words from the wise:

"Cut out all these exclamation points. An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke." - F. Scott Fitzgerald.]

Squidward says," Y-You stole a body?!"

[SOF: Ruh roh!]

[Jjs: Even though this is just another copy and pasted SDMI moment, I could actually imagine Patrick stealing a body. Patrick is weirdly the most in-character so far...and that's sad.]

[Katniss: First he steals a balloon, then he steals a body. Patrick is wild.]

[Hayden: Next he'll steal a blow-up doll.]

They then hop into their Mystery Boat and ride away. Squidward drives it.

[SOF: Who is riding shotgun? It's amazing I'm more invested in insignificant mysteries than the actual mystery itself.]

[Jjs: Yes, because I can totally imagine Squidward wanting to drive people around (let alone SpongeBob and Patrick) for mystery solving. If anything, he'd probably make someone else drive it.]

[Hayden: I can attest that they should have let the squirrel drive.]

[Steel: If Squidward's the Fred of the mystery gang, I guess I can see why. All he needs now is an ascot.]

He says," So..where do we take the body?" Spongebob says," Oh, I know! Professor Rolan!" He is at the Undersea High school, even though none of the gang goes to it. 

[Jjs: So...how does SpongeBob know who he is? This was honestly just a lazy excuse for me not to include the school subplots SDMI had.]

[Hayden: So no Shaggy/Velma adaptation? Also, you can't beat the familiarity and trust that comes with a high school teacher you've never been a student of.]

[Katniss: Your first thought is to bring the body to a high school teacher who's probably teaching a class right now? Smart plan.]

[Steel: We're going from Scooby-Doo references to Pokemon references now. Rolan is one letter off from Professor Rowan.]

[SOF: The school is literally named "Undersea High school"? I'm worried on how well the education is if they can't even capitalize "School".]

 However, spongebob knows him well.

[Jjs: Again, how? Just a forced detail that goes completely nowhere.]

Spongebob and Patrick carry the body into his class.

[Jjs: Ignoring the lulziness of this, I love how two people that don't attend the school can just walk in there without any background checks or questioning. Glad to see our public schools have such wonderful security.]

[SOF: Officer Nancy appears to be the only officer in town, and can't be everywhere at the same time. Give her a break.]

[Hayden: I just had a brain twitch, why didn't Officer Nancy tail after them?]

All of the fish scream and run out.

[Steel: All of them? I guess even the ones running the school thought to themselves, "screw it, those randos are carrying some mine worker inside a blue cocoon! That's horrifying!"]

[SOF: Lucky stiffs getting to just ditch class like that. I wish some weirdos would interrupt my classes more often by carrying some dude in a cocoon into the classroom.]

Professor Rolan says," Couldn't you kids have waited until I finished my lesson?"

[SOF: Look on the bright side, now you don't have to give any homework today. Those kids actually got a sweet deal despite probably being traumatized.]

[Katniss: Hey prof, do you really expect students to stay in class when two people bring in a body that may or may not be dead?]

Spongebob says," Professor Rolan, we need your help." He then examines the body. Gary opens a Clam's cage (Which is the class pet) and they get into a fight.

[SOF: And wh-wh-whacky hijinks ensued that we'll never learn further about! Screw the mystery, I'd rather read Gary fighting a clam. That's yet another thing I'm more interested in than the actual mystery itself.]

[Jjs: Foreshadowing to Clam & Gary, JCM's canned spin-off? Makes me wish that had been completed instead of this. :( ]

[Hayden: 

But seriously, what purpose did Gary have to do that?]

Professor Rolan says," Well, it looks organic but I need to study it more.." Later over the night, Professor Rolan hears a strange noise. He looks out of the class and sees the Janitor.

[Jjs: Is it Henry, the mild-mannered janitor?

5e6529ea73dc5728f5f3af09e5ba4867--vintag ]

Professor Rolan keeps studying and screams.

[SOF: Even teachers get terrified of studying.]

The Janitor walks in. Professor Rolan is stuck to the ceiling in blue slime!"

[Steel: Well, at least that's one thing that some tall, odd Blue Creature didn't trademark.]

[Jjs: Nice misplaced quotation mark. But this line really does show one of the spin-off's biggest issues, actually. It's pretty much impossible for anyone to be invested or feel suspense in what's happening due to the small scale tv.com format this is written in. It results in a lot of "serious" moments coming off lulzy or rushed. I mean, look at it:

"The Janitor walks in. Professor Rolan is stuck to the ceiling in blue slime!"

Avant-garde poetry right here.]

[Hayden: I hope the Janitor cleans that mess up.]

Spongebob is at the Krusty Krab and is sad.

[SOF: It's okay to feel sad sometimes, kids.]

He says," Well, Professor Rolan ended up getting slimed in blue stuff! And it is all my fault! All my fault!" He is crying.

[Jjs: How did they hear about this? Did this become public news? Also, I wouldn't say it's all your fault, since this school seems to have some lousy ass security as it is.]

[Hayden: tenor.gif ]

[Steel:

]

Squidward slaps him across the face.

[Jjs: Thank you Squidward.]

[SOF: Hey, I was going to do that.] 

[Hayden: 7MoaXpe.jpg?1 ]

He says," It was all of our faults!"

[Jjs: Ehh, I still blame the shitty security more, but sure.]

[Hayden: Mainly it was Rolan's for agreeing to something like that for a stranger.]

Patrick says," I didn't do anything."

[Jjs: Other than stealing the body in the first place, but sure.]

[Steel: I ain't do nuthin.']

Sandy shoves him.

[SOF: Squirrels really need to watch where they're going. *adds that to list of squirrel jokes*]

Sandy says," Everybody, be quiet! I brought a sample of the blue stuff." Patrick then pulls out some blue icecream

[Jjs: Ice cream. It's two words. Spacing exists, past me.]

[Hayden: Not calling it blue goo was a missed opportunity.]

and starts eating it. Sandy says," Hey..that icecream and blue slime look exactly the same!" Patrick finished it and eats the slime sample.

[SOF: Seriously, it's amazing Past jjs could apparently only give any form of accurate personality to Patrick of all characters.]

Patrick says," Yum, Goofy Goober's newest icecream!" They all say," What?"

[Jjs He said it's Goofy Goober's newest ice cream. What's so confusing about that?]

[SOF: Or they need hearing aids.]

[Hayden: Does it come with Goofy Goober's newest line of underwear?]

Spongebob says," What do we know about Greg Goober?" Sandy says," Well, he showed up in Bikini Bottom 3 years ago with his icecream and started his Icecream shop." Spongebob says," Maybe me and Patrick could get jobs to get some info!"

[Jjs: Assuming they have any positions open, or if either of you can even pass an interview, or-ah, who am I kidding, I didn't put any further thought into this, and just copied what SDMI did because...why not.]

[Hayden: Greg Goober. Casual new character drop and unofficial Goofy Goober origin.]

[Steel: I can't help but read "icecream" as if the characters are saying it pretty fast, as a compound word may sound.]

They all agree. Spongebob and Patrick get jobs at Goofy Goober's

[Jjs: Once again, pacing, you never let us down!]

[Hayden: Patrick's lack of experience and SpongeBob already having a full schedule job be damned.]

[Katniss: I guess the job application process at Goofy Goober's is ridiculously easy.]

[Steel: Time for some quirky work montage?]

and later during the night, Greg Goober leaves and says," Remember to lock up!"

[Steel: Nope, we don't get to see anything.]

Spongebob gives the signal and Squidward, Sandy and Gary enter.

[SOF: Not even an ice cream parlor can get any decent security. Shame.]

They explore around the shop and Spongebob and Patrick eat some icecream. Sandy finds a locked door and she decides to look around for the key of it. Gary sniffs the door and unlocks it with some nail from inside his shell.

[Jjs: Glad to see Gary keeps convenient nails at all times in his shell. Yup, there's gonna be some ass pulls too.]

[Hayden: Nails are more essential than flashlights.]

[SOF: "Some nail" joining the group of some things that need more explanation in this pilot.]

Spongebob and Patrick open the door and the Blue Slim Creature is in it!

[Steel: Oh hey, that character still exists.]

[Katniss: The Blue Slim Creature? Ooh, looks like someone lost weight. Guess he doesn't like ice cream.]

It roars.

[Steel: Exhilarating.]

Patrick picks up Gary and they run.

[SOF: When did Patrick become Gary's legal guardian?]

Sandy comes to the door and says," Hey, wasn't this locked?"

[SOF: The snail beat you to it. Looks like squirrels are slower than snails. *adds to list of squirrel jokes*]

Spongebob and Patrick run into her and smash into the room. Sandy goes falling down some secret hole. Squidward appears and says," Are you 2 insane?"

[Jjs: What do you think, Squidward?]

[Hayden: No, they're 2 fast and you're 2 furious.]

[Steel: I don't know but you must be insane to be using words as numbers like Prince would.]

Sandy says," Hey guys, I found something." Patrick says," Hey, wasn't this the same cave we were in the other day?"

[Jjs: The other day? Apparently this spin-off also has pointless time skips like Bikini Top, even though it feels like this entire episode is taking place in a day...]

[Hayden: Well at least that means they weren't hired on the spot.]

[SOF: No, sorry, you're not going to convince me the events of this pilot are lasting multiple days. I've seen some crazy time skips in SBC works, but nuh uh, not buying it with this pacing.]

Squidward says," Hey, there is another hole! It leads to the Bikini Bottom Bank!" Sandy says," Well, now we know what the Blue Slime Monster's goal is. That is..if it really is a monster!" Spongebob says," It is trap time!"

[Steel: Steel says: Very solid reminder: there are a ton of words to use other than said or says.]

[Jjs: Yay, time for a classic Scooby-Doo trap. Hopefully my past self did something right and bothered to keep the charm of those...hopefully.]

The Blue slime creature comes down into the cave and groans.

[Jjs: Why would he be groaning instead of growling? Is he actually not invested in stealing money from a bank? Some "monster" this is.]

[Hayden: Maybe he's groaning along with the rest of us.]

Sandy says," Over here stupid!" It throws some blue slime at a rock and follows her. Patrick says," Uh..hello."

[Jjs: Do you how do.]

It squirts slime from its hand at Patrick and he eats it.

[Jjs: Oh, my dirty mind. :Laugh:  ]

[Steel: Can anyone reassure me if this is a children's spin-off?]

[Hayden: Why is there no difference in the chemical composition of the ice cream and the blue slime? How was it able to coat people into cryogenic stasis?]

Spongebob cuts some rope. The rope snaps and a wood plank comes flying down on another wood plank, launching a rocket into the air. It burns the rope to some anvil and it is about to hit the Blue Slime creature, but it dodges it. The anvil smashes into a cart and loops around smashing into a cage.

[Jjs: I don't even fucking understand how that trap worked. I feel like whatever I was trying to copy from SDMI probably made more sense there than in some 13 year-old's fanfiction.]

[Steel: Kevin McCallister, eat your heart out.]

[SOF: I'm getting bad flashbacks to the "cart-like catapult". Even in cartoon format, I don't think what just happened could transpire at all. I think my brain just turned into some blue goo.]

The cage goes zooming by and Squidward says," This is gonna be great!"

[Jjs: Seriously, I can't even imagine Squidward being this invested in capturing a fake monster. Is his life that pathetic?]

[Hayden: Maybe Squidward just played a lot of Mouse Trap as a kid.]

[Katniss: I guess Clarinet Club doesn't do enough to fill the excitement he so desperately needs in his life.]

The cage then drops and lands on..Spongebob and the gang!

[Homer: D'oh!]

[Katniss: square-1483538046-shocked-joey.gif ]

[Steel: Somewhere in a different universe, Kevin McCallister is laughing at your failed trap.]

Sandy is behind a rock.

[Jjs: Sandy was able to avoid it because why not.]

[Hayden: I thought it was Sandy's trap before, but since it backfired someone else must have devised it.]

Gary says," Meow?"

[Jjs: Thanks for that insightful line, Gary.]

[Hayden: Gary still the MVP.]

The blue slime creature laughs and shoots blue slime at them.

[SOF: Not "some blue slime"? I'm disappointed, this monster can't even stick to the name of their attack!]

Sandy starts to run away and runs up the hole. The creature follows her and shoots blue slime at her legs. She screams. Spongebob says," Eat guys, it is icecream!" The slime creature is about to finish Sandy off, but The gang appears and squirts the creature with a icecream tube. It gets stuck to the wall. Mr. Krabs and Officer Nancy appear!

[Jjs: Lmao at these half-assed transitions. I also owe Past Steel an apology for criticizing his transitions in Dark Side.]

[Hayden: Where'd they get the ice cream tube?!]

[Steel: So many things happening in one paragraph...]

[SOF: Wow, that resolution happened so fast I forgot to blink!]

Squidward says," Mr.Krabs, what are you doing here?"

[Jjs: Good question.]

[Steel: Quoth Sabre from DSOTH: "I dunno."]

[Hayden: He should've been the culprit considering it's a bank scam.]

Mr.Krabs, says," I went to find you 2! You didn't show up for work. Plus, I had installed a GPS in Spongebob's head and found him here."

[Jjs: ...That's either really fucking creepy or surprisingly in-character for Mr. Krabs?]

[Katniss: I dunno, that sounds too costly for Mr. Krabs to do. He can't waste his hard-earned cash on employees!]

[SOF: ...Uh, wow. I can definitely at least imagine post-movie Krabs doing that.]

[Hayden: Krabs needs to stop jamming stuff into Spongebob's holes.]

Spongebob says," So, that is what was ringing in my head."

[Jjs: Because this ringing was totally elaborated on before in the chapter.]

[Hayden: Guess it wasn't the shell phone.]

[Steel: I thought the first clue would be SpongeBob hearing "recalculating route" in his head.]

[SOF: This is why foreshadowing can be useful.]

Officer Nancy says," What is that blue thing?" Greg Goober appears and says," I got an alarm at my house saying someone was in here!"

[Jjs: Hot damn, everyone is just dropping in on this shindig. Why don't us riffers go there next, because...why not?]

[Steel: Suddenly Steel Sponge from SBC appears and then says, "Hey, I know you're all MINING your own business but what's going on?"]

[Hayden: Better question Nancy...you already found the cavern a few days ago, so why did you do no follow-up?]

Gary unmasks the blue creature

[Jjs: Uh...how?]

[SOF: Either Gary is taller than I remembered or he has an ability to magically grow arms I don't remember.]

[Steel: I guess the story just gave up there and decided to provide us with the ending immediately so.]

and it is Professor Rolan!

[Jjs: GASP NO WAY IT WAS THE TEACHER WOW THIS TOTALLY ISN'T HOW IT HAPPENED IN SDMI EPISODE 1 NO SIR :o 

[Katniss: So...did Professor Rolan just cover himself in blue ice cream/slime/stuff/whatever? 

...Yeah, maybe I shouldn't think about it too much.]

[Hayden: The way that was worded before almost made it sound like the janitor captured him in it.]

[Steel: So it was not The 3rd Worker or the Janitor? No surprise, but come on, I'd expect that they'd be invited if this scene was going to try and bring in almost the entire cast of the episode.]

Squidward says," What?!"

[Jjs: Where's the group gasp? I thought you guys rehearsed this shit, dammit.]

[Steel: It also can't be complete without "PROFESSOR ROLAN???" if this is a Scooby-Doo homage.]

He says," I was exploring the sewer one day and discovered the old mines were connected with the sewer when I busted open the wall. I then put my plan into action to rob the bank. I used my old Skeleton costume and framed Mr.Goober for the crime using his new treat.

[SOF: Some good job you did "framing" him, because nobody even suspected it was him. Not even our "protagonists" once directly thought it was him, they just went there to investigate, but for all we know they could've thought it was another employee that was the monster. This is why context can be useful as well.]

I also made my own Sliming into the ceiling of the school! It was genius!"

[SOF: If you say so, but I get the feeling it wasn't easy to get down.]

Spongebob says," I can't believe this."

[Hayden: I can't believe it either....what kind of freak just goes roaming down into the sewers?]

[Jjs: Maybe this would be more heartbreaking if SpongeBob's history with Rolan had been elaborated on at all beyond a throwaway line.]

Professor Rolan says," I need money, and the school stopped paying alot.."

[Jjs: Subtle.]

[Hayden: So the education board are the real villains of this episode.]

[SOF: First terrible security, and now underpaid teachers. Bikini Bottom really needs to fix its public school system.]

[Katniss: FTqo7g0.png ]

Sandy says," What about this Silver Pendant?"Mr. Krabs gasps, but hides his gasp.

[Jjs: Don't put much thought into this folks, because this goes absolutely nowhere. I was originally going to copy Mayor Jones' shadiness onto Krabs, but since I had to abruptly change the story midway in (and before SDMI S1 revealed anything further on Mayor Jones), any early episodes that hint to something with Mr. Krabs go absolutely nowhere by the end. Hooray for planning.]

[Steel: So we're going to be sitting through a character arc that's never going to happen? This must be another warning sign about the spin-off aging very poorly.]

[Hayden: Let's just assume Krabs gasped because he thought it was valuable and wanted to sell it.]

[SOF: The good news is, Past jjs decided to take my advice and actually foreshadow something for a change. The bad news is, it's foreshadowing something that never goes anywhere due to no planning. Whoops.]

Professor Rolan says," Never seen it before." He gets taken away by officer nancy.

[Jjs: Poor Nancy couldn't even have had her name capitalized. You can tell I was rushing to get this done.]

[SOF: Also, no "I would've gotten away with it if weren't for you meddling kids"? You couldn't even copy the iconic line, I am disappointed.]

They come back to the Krusty Krab. Sandy says," I wonder who this Pendant belongs to?" Just then, the phone rings. The caller says," You are all doomed. You should have never taken that pendant out of the cave. Now you have uncovered a mystery that should have remained secret.

[Jjs: This spin-off?]

[Hayden: IdBOks.gif ] 

Call me Mr. N."

[Jjs: Instead of Mr. E, I made it Mr. N as a reference to N from Pokemon Black and White, which were coming out in Japan around the time I wrote this, because...why not. In case you haven't realized, "why not" was pretty much my mantra for this whole thing.]

[Steel: *Tries to insert a line said by N, but apparently, I'm too lazy for that*]

[Hayden: If you had gone with Mr. Y you would have been able to slightly keep the "Mystery" pun together when you spell it out.]

He hangs up. They all gasp and the screen fades black.

[Jjs: Oh no, I can't find my seat... :( 

Well, that was pretty bad, but it could've been worse...like the rest of the series. Consider that a strange positive for this strange beginning to a strange spin-off.]

[Katniss: Yeah, this was a rough start. Transitions from one scene to the next were rushed and the story does more showing instead of telling, which deprives us of necessary explanation, especially with the relationship between SpongeBob and Professor Rolan. However, like jjs said, it could've been worse.]

[Steel: Yeah, that was pretty bad, I'll admit. It's not bad in which the story feels so convoluted, but when you know the story feels very rushed. I was probably too nice when I considered this one of my favorite spin-offs.]

[SOF: If this episode apparently "wasn't as bad" as some of the remaining parts of the spin-off, then I'm legitimately scared on how the rest goes.]

[Hayden: Here are the closing credits to give that lame reveal some sort of dignity and rescue the tone:

]

 

Edited by jjsthekid
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