Jjs' Riffing Theater 3000

[Jjs Goodman]

Here we go, the last two episodes of this. I apologies if our riffs for this haven't been that great, but I promise the last three things we riff will be worth riffing, and have a lot of material.

Mermaid Man: The Aquatic Avenger

12. Double Team Disaster (Part 1)

Spoiler

[Jjs: This is a work of Van Gogh.]

(We open at a courtroom. Bikini Bottom's district attorney stands at one table, and the Dirty Bubble and his lawyer stand at the other.)

[Fred: Ooooh, it's a courtroom case. I hope they're guilty. I hope somebody gets the chair.]

Judge: This case is now dismissed. (bangs gavel)

[Fred: No. Case not dismissed! I wanna see someone get the chair! I want to see some tears!]

[JCM: I thought this was a family show!]

[Jjs: Bring in the dancing lobsters!

 ]

District attorney: Your honor, if you could please reconsider...

[Teenj: Funny how the Judge and District attorney are just...nameless.  ]

[Jjs: Maybe his family's last name is really "Attorney", and his parents named him "District".]

(The judge walks into another room, and the district attorney puts his head in his hands.)

[Jjs: I'd feel that way too if my above riff is true.]

District attorney: (sighs) Not again.

[JCM: Maybe you should quit and take up plumbing. I doubt you'd have to deal with as much crap every day.]

(The Dirty Bubble floats out of the courtroom, where Sal, one of his henchmen, is waiting for him.)

Dirty Bubble: Thanks for bribing the judge for me, Sal.

[Teenj: Welp, I guess they don't call him 'dirty' Bubble for nothing.]

[Jjs: The judicial system really needs some readjustments if our judges can be easily bribed.]

Sal: No problem, boss. Where to next?

[JCM: We're going to Disney World!]

[Fred: We're going to Escalator Land!]

[Jjs: We're going to Gotham City!]

Dirty Bubble: Well, we'll obviously have to teach Mermaid Man a lesson. Where did you see him last?

Sal: He and Man Ray were duking it out on the plaza.

[Fred: sal that's gross]

[Teen: Time for another fighting porno? No? Okay..]

Dirty Bubble: Man Ray?

Sal: Yeah! Don't you read the news anymore?

[JCM: Dirty Bubble is the JCM of this universe.]

Dirty Bubble: We don't get the paper in jail.

Sal: Oh, right. Sorry. Man Ray is Mermaid Man's worst enemy.

[Teenj: Interesting that the Dirty Bubble is unaware of Man Ray.]

[Jjs: Damn Wisconsinians, I knew they were pure evil, like newspaper comics!]

Dirty Bubble: Really? What makes him so special?

[Fred: Well, for one, he has checks with little poodles on them.]

[JCM: The preferable term for his condition is morally disabled.]

Sal: He's a diabolical villain with no regard for underwater life or property.

[Teenj: I like Sal. He's good at summing shit up.]

[Jjs: Yeah, rename Sal to "Mr. Exposition", stat!]

Dirty Bubble: Sounds like my kind of guy. How can I get in touch with him?

[Teenj: Oh yeaaah, supervillian team up.]

Sal: He's in jail now.

[Jjs: D'oh!]

Dirty Bubble: Well, I can't have that!

[JCM: Better save up your Monopoly money.]

Sal: What, you're gonna spring him?

Dirty Bubble: Sure! All this Man Ray needs is direction, and I have direction to spare! Together, we can eliminate Mermaid Boy from the face of the Earth!

[JCM: Finally. Somebody else who hates Mermaid Man-Barnacle Boy shipping as much as I do.]

(The theme song plays.)

[Jjs:  

]

[Fred: 

]

(Cut to Man Ray's jail cell. A guard unlocks the cell and gives Man Ray a slip of paper.)

[Jjs: First judges, and now our own police officers can turn evil! Looks like our entire law system needs readjustments.]

Man Ray: Huh? What's going on?

Guard: You're free to go.

[JCM: Life imprisonment just doesn't mean what it used to.]

[Jjs: Do any of the other guards know about this, or are all of them in cahoots with the Dirty Bubble?]

Man Ray: Really? Just like that?

[Teenj: Don't question it, just go, dummy!]

Guard: Yes. Just go to that address, and there won't be any problems from here on out.

(Man Ray shrugs, reads at the slip of paper, and walks out of the police station.)

(Cut to an abandoned warehouse.

[Jjs: TO THE ABANDONED WAREHOUSE, AWAY!]

Man Ray enters the warehouse and looks around.)

[JCM: Abandoned warehouses have addresses?]

Man Ray: Nice place you got here.

[Fred: 

]

Dirty Bubble: Thank you.

Man Ray: Whoa! Are you...

Dirty Bubble: If you're about to say the Dirty Bubble, then yes.

[JCM: No, he was about to say Bill O'Reily, but that's close enough.]

Man Ray: How did you get me out of the brig?

[Jjs: Put me in the brig to take his place, I don't mind!]

Dirty Bubble: I have connections all around. Getting you out of jail was easy.

[Jjs: A lot easier than it should've been, maybe our prison security is that bad nowadays.]

Man Ray: What do you want with me?

Dirty Bubble: I want to make a deal with you.

[JCM:   ]

[Fred: Oh, I thought we were playing "Deal or No Deal" first, but okay.]

Man Ray: What kind of deal?

Dirty Bubble: The kind where you get to see Mermaid Man perish before your very eyes.

[Fred: The chair?]

Man Ray: Sounds exciting.

[Jjs: It may sound cool, but the execution matters the most.]

Dirty Bubble: It will be.

(The Dirty Bubble takes a rolled-up blueprint out from under a couch.)

[JCM: Purchase our state-of-the-art abandoned warehouses: now with blueprint-hiding couches!]

[Jjs: Damn, this warehouse has everything. I want to take residence in it when they're done.]

Dirty Bubble: Now, this is how it's gonna go down...

(Cut to Mermaid Man's house. Mermaid Man is reading a book with the radio on.)

Reporter: (on the radio) Breaking news! Man Ray is standing on the roof of a lighthouse, threatening to drop a baby off it if the baby's parents don't pay a ransom of $100,000!

[Fred: Manray Jackson?]

[Jjs: Only $100,000? Go all the way to a million, amateurs.]

Mermaid Man: (gasps) Man Ray? Again?

[JCM: Get better villains and I won't have to re-use him every episode.]

(Cut to the aforementioned lighthouse.

[Jjs: TO THE LIGHTHOUSE, AWAY!]

Spectators are gathered all around it, pointing to Man Ray at the top, who seems to be holding a baby by the legs.)

[Jjs: "It's a bird, it's a plane, no, it's a super villain about to drop a baby!"]

Commissioner Johnson: All of you! Get out of the way! My police squad is trying to handle the situation!

[Jjs: Key word: trying]

[Teenj: Yeaah, but we all know Mermaid Man's just gonna come and handle it for you guys.]

(Suddenly, Mermaid Man appears above the lighthouse and lands beside Man Ray.)

Commissioner Johnson: (rolls eyes) Of course.

[JCM: Johnson apparently hates Mermaid Man again? Yeah, why not.]

[Fred: He's a superhero. Who else were you expecting?]

[Teenj: I guess he's over his crush..]

Mermaid Man: Hand over the baby!

[Teenj: Is it ever really that easy, MM?]

Man Ray: Mermaid Man! You got here sooner than I thought.

[Jjs: There was less traffic today due to everyone watching your stunt.]

(Mermaid Man punches Man Ray, and Man Ray nearly lets go of the baby.)

[JCM: Clever strategy.]

[Fred: Okay, if THIS isn't Man Ray going full pedophile Michael Jackson right now, I don't know who is!]

[Teenj: I love how he punches him with the baby still in his hands. There's gotta be a safer strategy...]

Man Ray: (wags finger) Ah-ah-ah.

[Jjs:  ]

Mermaid Man: Give it to me!

Man Ray: You want it? Take it, then!

(Man Ray turns around and throws the baby, and Mermaid Man chases after it. When he catches it, he realizes that the baby is just a doll.)

[JCM: Show me on the doll where the bad Man Ray touched you.]

[Teenj: Well, well, well... nice twist, JCM.]

Mermaid Man: What the...

[Teenj: F...udge.]

(The baby doll explodes, sending Mermaid Man flying back and crashing through one of the lighthouse walls.)

[Fred: Stop baby doll abuse now.]

[Jjs: Insert obligatory "Did Michael Bay direct this scene?" joke.]

Mermaid Man: What...is going...on?

(Mermaid Man faints.)

[JCM: Even more clever strategy.]

[Jjs: The Mermaid Man fainted! Would you like to use your next superhero?]

(To Be Continued)

[Fred: No, because Mermaid Man actually died.

.........that actually sounds pretty bad in hindsight, doesn't it?]

13. Double Team Disaster (Part 2)

Spoiler

[Fred: IT'S THE FINAL RIFFDOWN DUGGA DUN DUN--oh fuck it, let's get to it.]

[Renegade: So is this a science fiction double feature?]

[Jjs: This is a work of-eh screw it. Final episode time folks.]

Narrator: Previously on Mermaid Man: The Aquatic Avenger...

Dirty Bubble: We'll obviously have to teach Mermaid Man a lesson. Where did you see him last?

Sal: He and Man Ray were duking it out on the plaza.

Dirty Bubble: Man Ray?

[Renegade: WELL HE SURE AIN'T BARNEY THE PURPLE DINOSAUR]

[Fred: No. The Dayman. Fighter of The Nightman.]

Sal: He's a diabolical villain with no regard for underwater life or property.

[JCM: HE POISONED OUR WATER SUPPLY, BURNED OUR CROPS AND DELIVERED A PLAGUE UNTO OUR HOUSES!]

Dirty Bubble: All this Man Ray needs is direction, and I have direction to spare! Together, we can eliminate Mermaid Boy from the face of the Earth!

[Renegade: THE ADVENTURES OF BARNACLE MAN AND MERMAID BOY]

[Larry: And Larry.]

(Cut to an abandoned warehouse.)

[Jjs: TO THE ABANDONED WAREHOUSE, AWAY!]

[Teenj: Haha, always an abandoned warehouse in one of these things.]

Man Ray: What do you want with me?

[Teenj: To make the final porno in this spin-off, obviously!]

Dirty Bubble: I want to make a deal with you.

(The Dirty Bubble takes a rolled-up blueprint out from under a couch.)

[JCM: Seriously, what is a couch doing in an abandoned warehouse? Why is that a thing?]

[Jjs: I don't know, but I still want the abandoned warehouse after this is over.]

Dirty Bubble: Now, this is how it's gonna go down...

[Fred: Is Ke$ha gonna go "Timber"?]

[Renegade: ...Ew.]

(Cut to a lighthouse.)

[Jjs: TO THE LIGHTHOUSE, AWAY!]

Mermaid Man: Hand over the baby!

[JCM: no u]

(Man Ray turns around and throws the baby. When Mermaid Man catches it, he realizes that the baby is just a doll. It explodes, sending him flying back and crashing through one of the lighthouse walls.)

[Jjs: I'm not sure if the recap really needed to be this long, but you do you.]

(The theme song plays.)

[Jjs: Final episode and still no idea what the mysterious theme is.  But here's one more Batman song to cap it off:

]

[Fred: It's my final riff so why not?

]

(Cut to the abandoned warehouse.

[Jjs: Narrator used Cut. It was super effective.]

Mermaid Man regains consciousness and finds that he's hanging upside down over a vat of boiling tarter sauce, which Man Ray and the Dirty Bubble stand in front of.)

[Teenj: ...Torture porn?]

[JCM: I'd watch it.]

Dirty Bubble: Well, well, well.

[Renegade: 

]

Mermaid Man: Man Ray? The Dirty Bubble? You're working together?

[Teenj: Oh no, no. They're just randomly standing beside each other while watching you hang over a vat of tarter sauce.]

Man Ray: Yes. After all, two heads are better than one.

[Fred: Or better than none? Like that Kenan and Kel movie?]

Mermaid Man: Why haven't you killed me yet?

[JCM: Because that would make too much sense.]

[Jjs: He's probably keeping you alive for the lulz, an alibi for most SBC members and antagonists.]

[Teenj: Evil Villain Monologue, of course.]

Dirty Bubble: We want you to be awake so we can hear your shrieks of pain as you're burned alive.

[Teenj: I know people have their weird kinks, but...]

Mermaid Man: Sorry to burst your bubble, but that's not happening!

[Fred: Gee, I haven't heard that joke used before!]

[Renegade: Ha. Get it?]

(Mermaid Man tries to use his heat vision to burn the rope, but nothing comes out of his eyes.)

Mermaid Man: What's going on?

[Captain Obvious: You're currently hanging over a vat of boiling tarter sauce, and you're unable to use your heat vision to burn the rope.]

[JCM: Thanks, Captain Obvious!]

[Captain Obvious: No problem.]

Man Ray: What's going on? Two words: sodium pluflouroxide.

[Fred: Five words: What the hell is pluflouroxide?

I mean, this is a spin-off, sure, but I'm not sure I heard that word used before. Sodium chloride? Sure. I still need a fucking dictionary to find out what "pluflouroxide" means.

Plus, I searched it on Google and the only result is the transcript for this episode.]

[Jjs: JCM was so daring and creative he invented a new chemical!]

Mermaid Man: Huh?

[Teenj: Lol, same MM. Is this supposed to be the equivalent of lead or Kryptonite for Supergirl/Superman?]

Dirty Bubble: Your weakness! Sodium pluflouroxide! It took hours of research from my henchmen,

[Jjs: That we never saw, but continue.]

but we finally found it: a chemical that nullifies every single one of your supernatural abilities! We mixed that chemical in with the tarter sauce below you, so you ain't goin' nowhere!

[Grammar Police: Did you mean: tartar sauce]

[Teenj: Sooo, his Kryptonite.]

Mermaid Man: (pauses) I didn't even know I had a weakness.

[Jjs: That makes two of us.]

[Renegade: *facepalm*]

[Teenj:  ]

Dirty Bubble: We all have our weaknesses, Mermaid Man. Man Ray was smart enough to point that out to me and encourage me to look that chemical up in the first place.

[JCM: Underwater Google is surprisingly thorough.]

Mermaid Man: You're not going to get away with this! Evil never wins!

[Fred: Except that one time in that one show.]

Dirty Bubble: (laughs) There you are with your heroic delusions! Evil does win! It wins everyday, and it's about to win now!

[Teenj:  ]

Mermaid Man: No...no!

[Renegade: Yes...yes!]

[Fred: Old YouTube Poop meme.]

Man Ray: Prepare to die, Meddler Man!

[Teenj: Epitome of this show's cheesy dialogue. xD]

[JCM: Meddler Man is my favorite character.]

[Jjs: I want a spin-off about Meddler Man.]

(Man Ray points his raygun at the rope that suspends Mermaid Man in the air. Mermaid Man takes one of the seashells off his chest, and he throws it. The seashell gets lodged in Man Ray's raygun, and when he shoot it, the raygun explodes.)

[Fred: Tarzan shoot raygun.]

Man Ray: Gah!

[Renegade: The Norwegian supermodel?]

Mermaid Man: You know, you really shouldn't underestimate me.

(Mermaid Man swings on the rope until he's upright and clinging to it. He uses the other seashell to cut the rope from his legs, then he swings on the rope again, jumping when he has enough momentum.)

Dirty Bubble: Why are you just standing there? Stop him!

[Jjs: Uh, who? Us? Last time I checked, I don't think the riffers are your henchmen.]

[JCM: Probably should have indicated who he was talking to, but yolo and all that.]

(Mermaid Man lands in front of Man Ray. Man Ray throws a punch, and Mermaid Man dodges it. Mermaid Man picks up Man Ray and throws him to the other side of the warehouse.)

[Teenj: Nice.]

Dirty Bubble: Oh, poopy.

[Renegade: Ooooh, I'm telling! You said a bad woooord!]

[Jjs: Such language!]

(Mermaid Man pushes a picking pin

[JCM: ALLITERATION]

out of his glove and points it at the Dirty Bubble.)

[Teenj: Time to die!]

[Jjs: WATCH THE POINT!]

Dirty Bubble: Alright. I surrender.

[Teenj: ...Cause he doesn't wanna die .]

Mermaid Man: Really? It was that easy?

[Jjs: Yes. Yes it was.]

[JCM: ]

Dirty Bubble: Of course not! Man Ray, get the vial of sodium pluflouroxide!

(Man Ray struggles to his feet and takes a test tube out of his pocket. Mermaid Man uses his heat vision to destroy the tube.)

Man Ray: Oh, well. (passes out)

[JCM: rip in peace]

Dirty Bubble: Dang it! I really shouldn't announce what we're going to do before we do it!

[Jjs: I'll proofread your ideas next time.]

[Renegade: ...]

Mermaid Man: Are you going to surrender or not?

Dirty Bubble: Yeah, yeah. Put the handcuffs on me.

[JCM: Dirty Bubble is kinky.]

[Jjs: But the Dirty Bubble doesn't have any hands.]

(The Dirty Bubble stretches out two hands, and Mermaid Man cuffs them.)

[Jjs: Never mind!]

(Cut to the police station. Mermaid Man walks into Commissioner Johnson's office.)

Commissioner Johnson: So, you got Man Ray and the Dirty Bubble into our custody again, and you exposed the headquarters of the Dirty Bubble's criminal operations.

Mermaid Man: (sighs) Yeah.

Commissioner Johnson: Why do you seem so dour about this?

[Mermaid Man: Because you're probably gonna fire me for being a superhero.]

Mermaid Man: No, it's great. It's just that...I'm mortal. I never thought about it before, but my life has the potential to end (snaps) just like that.

[Jjs: This is a dark way to end the spin-off...]

[JCM: What a way to end a spin-off! Philosophical musings about the frailty of life!]

Commissioner Johnson: What are you talking about? You have laser beams coming out of your eyes, you can fly, you can shoot waterballs. You're practically invulnerable!

[Teenj: Someone's little crush is coming back.]

Mermaid Man: Yeah, practically.

[Jjs: Better than barely.]

But I just learned that there's something out there that could undo that, something that could make me as vulnerable as the rest of you. If word of it comes out, I'm finished.

[Teenj: Then why would you tell someone else and risk word getting out?]

Commissioner Johnson: So what are you going to do?

[Fred: Will he:

A. Retire from superheroing

B.  Smoke some weed

C. Nothing

Text your answer now.]

Mermaid Man: I'm going to be less arrogant. I'm going to treat each and every fight as if it were my last. This mission isn't something I plan to give up, but it is something I'll be approaching much more carefully from now on.

(Mermaid Man turns and starts to head out the door, but then he stops.)

[JCM: "Oh, right. I probably shouldn't be walking through a police station when I'm still a wanted man."]

Mermaid Man: (smiles) I just thought that you should know that.

[Jjs: Hero and cop bromance. Warms the bottom of me cold heart, it does.]

(Mermaid Man leaves Commissioner Johnson's office, and Commissioner Johnson goes through his employees' files. He shakes his head when he sees the record of corruption and cowardice within his own police force.)

[Jjs: I knew it! Might want to start by firing those prison guards.]

Commissioner Johnson: If only we had more heroes like him.

[Teenj: Awww, okay I ship it now.]

(The End)

[Renegade: ...Well, I must confess, in a similar vein to the Killer Krab in that I've run out of things to riff. Whereas TKK was literally so bad it mentally exhausted me, Aquatic Avenger is literally so average that there is nothing to riff. As JCM has shown us before, he is an excellent writer and can immerse us into the worlds of whatever he wants. This, however, is as bland as plain yogurt. There's no flavoring to it, just bland action and dialogue. I can see why JCM considers it a shame. While it is good to some degree, I feel like JCM just chugged it out as fast as he could. As for his supposed Batman TAS influence, I can't see it. What is obvious is the Nolan references, which is kinda jarring when you look at the premises of the episodes. Overall, I give this a meh/10.]

[Fred: Honestly, I didn't think this was that bad. I've seen more tedium in Down Under and more lulz in stuff like Ruty's Rapping Rampage (idk), but this felt......kinda average. Not God's gift to the earth or something, god forbid, but I'm not gonna consider this the worst thing I've ever riffed. That dishonor goes to Down Under. This is just above average at best and mediocre at worst. This is Fred Rechid saying "Peace".]

[Jjs: Overall...this was the best thing we've riffed in Riffing Theater history, in my honest opinion. It's not fantastic, but I enjoyed reading it, even though riffing this was difficult, it really was. I had no major issues with it, other than some cheesy lines and rushed action. I don't think I would consider this JCM's personal shame in the slightest, but I could see why he kind of regrets it, mostly due to the reasons I mentioned above. Still, I'm glad JCM took up the challenge of having us riff something of his. Riffing something that's actually good doesn't hurt, and it was something different. Maybe I'm biased since I also made a Mermaid Man spin-off, so I had a bit of nostalgia appreciation, but I found no major issues, other than maybe Barnacle Boy's lack of presence, though I know that would've been fixed in Season 2. I think it found a good balance between being short and long. It also ended on a pretty decent note I'd say. It's very rare we actually riff something that gets a proper conclusion (spoiler: this is the only thing we'll riff that gets a good conclusion), and I thought it was a fitting one. With some minor fixings, I think this had potential for more, and I think that's the first time I've ever said that for something we've riffed. Our riffs were probably not up to par, but what can you do when it's a decent work?

However...because I think this is the best thing we've riffed in Riffing Theater history, that should probably tell you that the final three things we riff will not be very good. Uh oh!]

[Teenj: JCM, that wasn't bad... like, at all. Sure, general cheesiness and sometimes rushed scenerios, but the show was actually pretty enjoyable. I think if you had worked on it for longer, it could of progressed to greater highs and worked out those small kinks. In the end, I'd definitely read a reboot of this from you.]

[JCM: Though I still think this is the worst spin-off/lit I've written, I appreciate it more for what it is now. I was never going to make Batman: The Animated Series. I was a good writer back then, but not that good. How mediocre it turned out compared to my expectations for it is why I consider it my personal shame and why I abandoned it after its first season. I wouldn't say I regret writing it, though. It did have some interesting re-imaginings of characters like the Atomic Flounder and Kelp Thing, even though it could have done more with Mermaid Man's most well-known villains, Man Ray and the Dirty Bubble. It also could have done more with Barnacle Boy, who I planned to have a bigger role in Season 2, had I done one. Since I've always loved superheroes and comic books, I'm glad I had the opportunity to write this spin-off, despite it not turning out how I wanted it to. Maybe I'll reboot it someday. Maybe I'll do something completely different. Who knows? This may be the end, but it isn't quite The End yet.]

 

[Metal Snake]

Meddler Man made this entire thing worth it

The riffs for this show were not at all bad, it's just that riffing good shows is different from riffing bad shows. When riffing something good, you just have to be more self-aware of the fact that this is all just a joke for fun, unlike with riffing something bad, which gives you plenty of leeway to mince serious criticism in.

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

...GG, guys. GG.

[Jjs Goodman]

Here we go, the long-awaited riffs for The Dark Side of the Herd are here for Spin-Off Festival 7! I think these might be some of our best riffs in Riffing Theater history, so enjoy.

The Dark Side of the Herd

1. Part I

Spoiler

[Jjs: Backstory. Once upon a time, SBC had a brony fad in 2011. Steel and SOF decided to make a miniseries literature cashing in on the success of that fad. And that’s the only reason this lit existed. A lit based on the brony fad doesn’t sound bad, right? Well...unfortunately, let’s just say they forgot a lot of things to make it good. Well technically speaking only Steel did, since SOF only suggested ideas for this, and didn’t actually write any episodes, but this is still a personal shame to both. What went wrong? You’ll see as we go along, but let’s just say if you thought Can You Please Past the Future (Steel's other personal shame) was an uninspired rehash, hoo boy...]

[Steel: Yo, this is a story all about how my spin-off/lit career flipped, turned upside down, so take a moment and sit right there, and I'll tell you how I created a Lit called Dark Side of the Herd.

While SOF will have some things to say about this, let me give you some insight on what inspired me to create this. It was 2011. I was a big fan of the Nostalgia Critic at the time, and the brony phenomenon was going on. I discovered Suburban Knights, then I thought to myself, "hey, this sounds like a good idea for a Lit. I can insert all my closest SBC brethren and make them feel honored that I included them in a major project that's quite like Kickassia/Suburban Knights. And since almost everyone on SBC loves ponies, I might as well put two and two together and make my newest masterpiece."

And here we are, riffing yet another one of my works that I've disowned for quite some time. Since DSotH is pretty big compared to my other worst creation, this will be a lot more entertaining to cover.]

[SOF: Oh boy, THIS literature. I helped Steel with this, but as jjs said, all I did was suggest some elements to Steel. However, I still feel ashamed of it. You'll see why as we go along. Thanks for having me jjs, let's see how badly this held up in the past five years...]

The Dark Side of the Herd: Part I

[Fred: You know, I like Pink Floyd as much as the next guy, but I doubt even Pink Floyd would make this good.]

[Hayden: Evil ponies? I've herd it all before.]

A mysterious figure walks by, it was in his home. 

[Jjs: Let me guess. It’s going to be ACS.]

[Clappy: Ah yes, the ACS is the butt of all writings trope. One that has definitely been done to death. But my question is, will it be funny?]

[SOF: Of course it's going to be ACS, what else did you expect since this miniseries defines the words "been there, done that"? Actually, there's more than that...you'll see what I mean.]

[Renegade: As if it were ANYONE ELSE'S home. Boy, are we off to a great start.]

It goes upstairs and looks at the computer.

[Hayden: Not unlike my routine.]

[Clappy: So ACS is an it now?]

[Steel: Careful, you wouldn't want him to catch you not using his preferred pronouns.]

[Renegade: ...Is this Pennywise?]

The figure is revealed to be a 12-year old guy. After some flashbacks about a website called the XAT, he goes into rage and flips the computer.

[Jjs: Yup. It’s going to be ACS.]

[Clappy: And now it's a he again? Proper pronouns. Learn them.]

[Steel: ACS was never the same since the XAT Famine of Twenty-Eleven.]

[Hayden: Flashbacks? Sounds like a case of PXATTSD.]

“I’m fed up with this world,” he said.

[Hayden:  ]

[Fred:

]

[Clappy:  ]

[Steel: Yep, it was a matter of time that I would slap in a reference to The Room.]

“Don’t get your knickers in a bunch ACS, it’s the internet,” said his brother World Travel.

[Jjs: CALLED IT! What do I win?!  ] 

[SOF: NOTHING, NOW GET OUT!]

[Hayden: ...World Travel? Why not just name him World Tour?]

[Steel: And the main villain is....ACS! Let's celebrate for this wonderful surprise! *Blows party horn.*

Seriously though, it was 2011. Was it any wonder?]

“Why must everybody on SBC hate me? Ever since, I’ve been declaring vengeance for those who hate me,” said ACS.

[Renegade: Ummm...hello, is this the Redundancy of Redundancy Department? You're needed again.]

[Jjs: But seriously, ACS, is that really you? Where’s the over the top temper tantrums? You sound so boringly emo here.]

[Hayden: World Tour shouldn't have to put up with this Total Drama.]

[Clappy: Let's break down this equation here:

1. Everybody on SBC hates you because:

2. You've been declaring vengeance on those who hate you.

Survey says. They hate you.]

[Steel: I hate this sentence as much as this sentence hates me.]

“Tyranny is never a solution to any problems,” said his half-brother XTM.

[Clappy: Neither does talking to yourself in third person.]

[Jjs: Why does ACS keep talking to himself?]

[Hayden: Nice lecture but...

 ]

[Steel: This conversation becomes even more awkward now that you'll all know that I realized it a little late that the rest of ACS' brethren are the same person, and that I didn't know what exactly the term 'half-brother' meant.]

“I’ll be upstairs, going on Rebellion Against Cyber-Bullying, I have my Hypercam just in case,” said ACS.

[Fred: I hope it has dat "Unregistered Hypercam" bug at the upper-left corner.]

[Clappy: ...okay, I've been around the SBC blocks for seven years and ACS has been around for six. Not once do I remember him saying he's going on Rebellion Against Cyberbullying (which is all one word btw). That was never an actual site. His actual site was some shitty flying simulator forumotion site which its name is too irrelevant to even care about. If you are going to "bash" someone, at least get your facts right.]

[Hayden: That sounds like a parody name of Cards Against Humanity. Only I'm guessing all the cards would be cuddly compliments with nothing crude.]

“Here he goes…” XTM said to himself.

ACS goes on Rebellion Against Cyber-bullying, which was his Forumotion website.

[Clappy: Once again, not a forumotion site.]

“I can’t believe some person hacked the place, but it’s over now,” said ACS. “Now…I must think of some sort of revenge against those cruel SBC members, it could be anything…”

[Hayden: So the first time we ever visit this website, ACS finds out it was hacked, apparently by SBC, and "over now". Such well crafted ACS motivations.]

[SOF: I also see ACS got over his site being hacked very quickly...seriously, pacing, where are you?]

Then out from his window was a bright rainbow soaring down and it seemed loud enough for ACS to hear. ACS then stops to go outside to see what happened.

[Renegade: TASTE THE RAINBOW MOTHAFUCKA]

[SOF: ...How do you hear a rainbow?]

[Hayden: What sound does a bright rainbow soaring down even make?]

[Jjs: Careful ACS, that might be a figment of your imagination from spending too much time on the computer.]

[Clappy: ...what the actual fuck? I'm laughing.]

[ACS: ACS hate rainbows!]

[Steel: Just in time for ACS to realize his true cutie mark talent.]

“What’s going on?” He asked.

[Hayden: Just losing your attachment to reality.

 ]

The shadow reveals a human in Rainbow Dash clothing, he says, “Came back from SBC, I think I know you as ACS.”

[Jjs: Just an fyi, this "Rainbow Dash" is actually Lew/MarioOrangeDash, an infamous SBC troll who spammed MLP videos on Xat. He was also focused on in SBC: Investigation & Prosecution and SBCPU S2. Had to give some backstory or you’ll probably be thinking ACS is talking to a cartoon character...which wouldn’t be out of character for him, actually.]

[Hayden: I needed the backstory because I riffed both those and I don't remember this nobody.]

[Clappy: ACS talking to a cartoon character? With how comically this story has started off so far, I wouldn't be surprised if this was a giant cartoon.]

[Renegade: Either that, or Rainbow Dash is actually Yoda.]

[Fred: Hello Rainbow Dash, my old friend

I've come to talk with you again]

[SOF: Ah yes, Lew aka MarioOrange aka whatever the fuck other names he went by. He, along with someone else you're about to see, didn't even need to be in this to begin with. More on that later into this miniseries.]

“And I know you as a fan of that dumb show; I don’t want to be involved with the whole pony craze!” ACS said.

[Fred: Hey, I don't want to be a part of your airplane fetish craze either.]

[Steel: Yeah, 'member when ACS expressed contempt with MLP at one point in time? This is part of the reason why ACS plays a big role in this Lit.]

[Hayden: Contrarians > Equestrians]

“I’m Rainbow Dash, a former member just like you,” he said.

“You sure are not Rainbow Dash to me,” ACS replied,

[Steel: Well, he sure isn't Fluttershy. And judging that ACS denies seeing MarioOrangeDash as Rainbow Dash, you can say that ACS is...colorblind! *sorry sorry bad joke*]

[Hayden: Naming yourself after a cartoon character is severely unoriginal. You tell em, ACS.]

“Now what do you want?”

“First I have a question, do you think friendship is magic?” Rainbow Dash replied.

[Hayden: Is this some sort of test? Because friendship and supernatural powers are two different things, bud.]

[Clappy: Sorry MLP fans, but I'm glad that fad died down when it did because I couldn't take sentences like that last one seriously. And that's coming from someone who actually thought the show was good...just not great, but still participated in the fad anyway.]

[Philosophical Fred: That is a good question, indeed, Rainbow Dash. IS friendship equal to magic?

Friendship is defined as "the bond between two people who are friends". Magic is defined as "the power of apparently influencing the course of events by using mysterious or supernatural forces". And in the adjective form, magic is another way of saying the two words "exciting" or "wonderful".

So yes, friendship IS magic, but at the same time, it's not. You cannot use friendship to impress people at a child's birthday party, but friendship is, indeed, a pretty wonderful thing, so it IS magic.]

[Fred: That's a stupid question. You're stupid.]

“Hell no, do I look like a brony!? I just wish that whole craze could end.”

[Jjs: Well ACS eventually got his wish a year later after this was written.]

[Steel: This a meta joke, but a lot of close-minded folks might've got their wish as well. Still, ACS' statement is pretty harsh in hindsight.]

[Hayden: So I'm not supposed to be agreeing with ACS?]

[Renegade: Do you look like a brony, punk? Well, do ya?

The answer is yes.]

“Even though this one particular guy didn’t entirely destroy my stay, but it’s Dragiiin. Do you ever experience something so unfortunate that you want to take the anger out on him?”

[Hayden:   ]

[Clappy: And this is why we edit before we post because the wording of this quote doesn't make any sense. Why bring up Dragiiin the hell out of nowhere? Where did this question even come from in context to the dialogue? I...I'll just keep reading.]

“Yes…out of all SBC members, Dragiiin makes me sick.”

[Fred: Hey, don't say that to the most epicness of lulziness member! >:(]

[Hayden: Yeah, the spelling of "dragon" makes me nauseous sometimes too. Why 3 i's?!]

“We’re not done with this conversation yet…” said Rainbow Dash.

[Jjs: That’s a shame, because we’ve barely started and it’s already dragging.]

[Clappy: Or being cohesive to the development of the backstory. It's a confusing mess.]

[Hayden: ACS ranting while you ask creepy questions is not a conversation.]

Steel Sponge Productions Presents

 

[Renegade: AWWW YEAH, TINYPIC'S MY FAVORITE SBC LIT!]

[Fred: Jjs, you lied to us! You said we were riffing Dark Side of the Herd, not Tinypic (whatever that literature is)!]

[Jjs: Steel Sponge Productions Presents: A broken image. This is why we don’t use tinypic. I lol’d. Don’t know how much longer I’ll be laughing at this, but at least it gave me some unintentional comedy so far.]

[Steel: Welp, melt me with jet fuel and call me Steel Phineas. Looks like tinypic ate up my cheap logo for this Lit. So much for showing off my old bannerfans skills, huh?]

[Clappy: I wish this story had been moved or deleted.]

[Hayden: I choose to believe it being a broken image is symbolic.]

Dark Side of the Herd (I have a banner planned, but bannerfans wasn't working for me for some reason after I did the first one)

[Jjs: ...sucks.]

[Hayden: Just ask JCM to polish one out.]

[Fred: It's okay. I'm not a huge Bruce Banner fan anyways.]

[Steel: Well, at least it wasn't because of laziness, eh Past!Steel?]

Starring:

Steel Sponge 

[Steel: hehe, that's me.]

SOF 

[Fred: And no one else. Only Steel and SOF. The rest of the people are just corpses.]

[Jjs: Interesting how the people who created this are the first two listed. Will they be our main characters?]

[Clappy: Do I even need to bring up what I've brought up in previous riffs about SBC user fanfictions? I will for those who don't know. If you are making your writers out to be your stars, that is only asking for them to be placed that much harder under the microscope. Now Steel and SOF will be the focus and now they will be given the god-complex. Or maybe I'm wrong, but based off the placement on the cast list and especially SOF's writing past, I doubt it.]

[SOF: There I am Gary! Don't worry though, if I recall correctly, I'm mostly a minor character in this, which is for the best after ATTWL 3. Steel on the other hand...]

[Steel: I wouldn't be ridiculed. For a clear reason, Doug Walker always appears first in the credits for those anniversary specials.]

[Hayden: The worst person to write for is yourself. Because you know so much about yourself that you get lazy with writing the other personalities.]

that70sguy92 

[Clappy: Oh boy...let's see if the 70s adaptation curse continues.]

jjsthekid 

[Hayden: Confidant, pal, amigo! Maybe you'll finally get a hero role instead of a "guy that exists" role.]

ExKizuna 

[Jjs: Oh boy...let’s see if the Ex adaptation curse continues.]

[Steel: If my representation of Ex turns out to be unlikeable, I know I'm going to be jumping off this ship with you.]

Clappy 

[Steel: Oh boy, let's see if all these other characterizations don't end up falling flat. (Spoiler alert: it does fall flat. )]

Wumbology 

Jelly 

SpongeSebastian 

[Hayden: Still relevant to SBC in 2017.]

CF3689 

Old Man Jenkins 

Dragiiin123 

[Hayden: I'm sure the ACS grudge means only good things for him.]

tvguy347 

Elastic Dog

Metal Snake 

[Hayden: Tron gets to see her man on the big screen.]

teenj12

Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick 

[Hayden: Did he fund this production?]

CDCB 

Deli

Pakasa43

[Hayden: Steel gipped me for this Pakaderm?!]

[Jjs: Right, Pakasa existed.]

[Steel: 'member any of these other SBC users? Pepperidge Farm 'members.]

Fa 

With:

[Steel: Credits! Beautiful credits!]

Sabrespongebob

Goosebumpsfan2

[SOF: Oh jeez, Gurgy is in this? This will end well...]

Rainbow Dash

and ACSBehemothHellCat

[Jjs: I can’t believe that entire cast list took up two whole fucking pages. We’re off to a fantastic start.]

[Clappy: Unnecessary padding is such a wonderful thing. It only adds to the "importance" of the story.]

[Hayden: I, for one, welcome the ability to keep scrolling. But why even bother separating the last four from the starring list?]

[Fred: Hey, what about the other thousand-something members you forgot to mention? #SBCMembersLivesMatter]

Executive Producer:

SOF

[Jjs: This is pretty hilarious in hindsight knowing SOF’s real contribution to the literature.]

[Clappy: Even knowing what we know now about SOF's involvement in this, I'm still holding him just as credible.]

[SOF: Even though I barely actually "helped" Steel for this, I still feel just as guilty for this lit. All I did was suggest some ideas, and pasted some of Steel's parts for him, that was as far as my lazy contributions went for this. Good job Past!SOF, you sure earned the "Executive Producer" title.]

[Hayden: What made SOF want his name on this so badly? Isn't being Jjs' sidekick enough?]

Directed and Written by

Steel Sponge

[Jjs: Catering by Steel Sponge, acting by Steel Sponge, art direction by Steel Sponge.]

[Clappy: From the people who brought you Steel Sponge. Special thanks to Steel Sponge. Dedicated to Steel Sponge.]

[Hayden: This man really Steels the show.]

[Steel: No Steels were harmed in the making of this Steel Sponge Production. Maybe some other alloys, though.]

[Fred: In the beginning, Steel Sponge created the earth, the heavens, and some random literature with some random dude named SpongeOddFan.]

Now it shows another SBC member in a dark room. It was jjsthekid.

[Jjs: Jeez me, could you at least turn the lights on?]

[Hayden: I'd say it opened with the spotlight on Jjs, but there's no light to be found.]

[Steel: Uh-oh, looks like the Lit lead Jjs into the set of Fifty Shades of Grey.]

“There’s been crimes going on here, and the biggest one was the three-night hack attack and we have no idea who the hell started it, but with hacking as a federal offense, we’re going to find it and that crime doer will be in the slammer. 

[Jjs: Nice try Metal Snake. We already riffed SBC: Investigation & Prosecution.]

[Clappy: Who still says crime doer, grandpa?]

[Hayden:  ]

[Steel: And there's only one possible culprit: Kira. Also, hooray for more 2011 SBC pop culture.]

[SOF: Why is jjs portrayed as a bland detective? Strange way to start this off, since spoiler, this scene has nothing to do with anything else in the rest of the miniseries...]

We may have not gotten T-shirts

[Hayden: They were expecting T-shirts specifically to be laying around?]

or any other evidence, but still…that person is going to expect…” Jjs monologues and puts on sunglasses, “the Onix-pected!”

[Jjs: *cricket chirps*]

[Hayden:  ]

[Clappy:  ]

[Fred: Man, that punchline was so lame that Roger Daltrey didn't even scream "YEEEEEEEEEEEAH" after it got said.]

[Steel: First couple scenes and a credits sequence in, and I think we've already come across the worst joke of this Lit.]

The room shows a desk with a lamp, a bowl of fruit, and an Onix plush.

[SOF: ...Wat? I don't get it, are we supposed to laugh at this?]

[Steel: ....

WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS DUMB VISUAL JOKE??? Explain, past me, explain!]

[Hayden:  

Jjs hugs this every night after a good munching of fruit.]

[Jjs: ...I don’t get the punchline here. What's with my Onix obsession? I mean yeah, I still liked Pokemon back in 2011, but I don’t recall once ever mentioning anything about Onix. Oh don’t worry, there’s many more awkward and strange jokes on the way.] 

[Clappy: Wow, you're really doing it. I can't believe it, but you're seriously putting this much effort into explaining why your joke is funny? Because it's painfully not.]

“I call that detective practice, it’s going to work someday,” said Jjs.

[Jjs: A terrible one-liner is going to get someone arrested someday?]

[Hayden: Maybe Jjs is talking about his other rock hard snake.]

[Clappy: Why are we still focusing on this? Anything else, please.]

[Steel: You better work on your comedic skills while you're at it. That was Onix-cceptable.]

Then the scene goes to somewhere else, 

[Jjs: Which isn’t vague at all.]

[Clappy: Lmao, even the story is ready to move on to anything else but this.]

[Renegade: GREETINGS FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE]

[Fred: Does that mean we're gonna be seeing something else now? I hope it's It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.]

[Steel: And that was what I'd like to call....a pointless scene.]

[Hayden: It should've described other random objects in Jjs' bedroom.]

it was another SBC member by the name Steel Sponge. He was seen knocking on a door.

[Fred: Who could that be knocking at my door? *knock knock knock*]

“Hello, are you the one in-charge of the station?” Steel asked when the guy opened the door, “For advertising reason, I want to use the radio station to promote SBC, even the spin-offs that exist there. What do you say?”

[Clappy: I say that is the most unrealistic half-assed pitch I've ever heard...is this supposed to be funny?]

[Hayden:  ]

[Fred: I say go bother someone else, you goddamn weirdo.]

[Steel: If it's advertiser-friendly, I'd say you have a shot at this.]

The guy just uses a blank expression and silence ensues. 

[Jjs: That’d be my reaction too if someone said that to me.]

[Clappy: That's the reaction of everyone who is reading this.]

[Fred: Echoes, the sounds, of silence.]

[Steel: Most relatable character in this Lit.]

[Hayden:  ]

Steel walks around and does stuff to try and make him talk, by making faces, saying “Boo,” and such.

[Clappy: Wow. This is the death of comedy right before our very eyes.]

[Hayden:  ]

[Renedoge: such description. much prose. wow]

[Steel: That wasn't funny...or scary.]

[Fred: Steel hates the lit that he created? Zeeeeeeeen.]

“Whatever, I’ll probably just break in…” said Steel, but the guy closes and locks the door when Steel was attempting to sneak in, “Third time this week, not a big deal.”

[Jjs: So Steel tried breaking into this station two other times this week? Christ, and I thought I didn’t have a life.]

[Hayden: Breaking and entering is a VERY big deal. Especially when you announce it aloud.]

[Clappy: Our hero everyone. You sure deserve that main credit headline.]

[Steel: Um...wow, I never thought that it'd be a good idea to represent myself to go as far as to break the law.]

Then, from a bush, ACS appears.

[Jjs: Note to self. Make sure ACS isn’t in any conveniently placed bushes the next time I go outside.]

[Hayden: Too bad your Onix can't learn cut.]

[Clappy: A wild ACS...man, this story has been so unfunny that it doesn't deserve that Pokemon reference.]

[Steel: Is that conveniently placed hiding bush a rental from Team Rocket?]

“Steel Sponge, he’s got nerves of steel. 

[Jjs: HAHA GEDDIT]

[Clappy: I sure haven't heard that one before...*sarcasm*]

[Hayden: And the self-absorbance of a sponge.]

[Fred: SpongeBob reference.]

In my eyes he’s not,” said ACS.

[Clappy: ...okay, let's stop this before it goes any further. Are you trying to imply that ACS has a problem with Steel? Sure, ACS hates SBC as a whole, but let's stop and really think about this. Exactly what has Steel done to ACS? Because if I remember correctly, all I've ever noticed when it comes to Steel in any sort of ACS involvement is Steel being too hard on his past self about his involvement with ACS when in all reality, he never did anything directed towards him. Hell, I could understand SOF getting hated on by ACS more than I would ever understand Steel.]

[Hayden: I wouldn't put much thought into it Clappy, that's been the ACS reaction to anything so far. Character 1 goes "I like this and this" and then ACS goes "nah that's just the worst".]

[Steel: To be fair, I never actually regretted being angry with ACS, but yeah, there's barely a reason to give ACS any connection to the Steel that's being portrayed in this Lit.]

“Well, it felt like a joke at first. I have a lot of questions, but who are you?” Goosey asked.

[Fred: We're The Who.]

[Jjs: Hi Goosey. Yay, another shamed SBC user that many other works around this time mocked...noticing something so far?]

[Clappy: What Jjs said above me. I wonder if Goosey will be made off to be as dumb, cowardly, and oblivious as he always was in these stories. The SBC fanfic tropes are starting to become increasingly noticeable the more these get riffed.]

[Hayden: Everything in this has felt like a joke at first...and at last.]

[SOF: Where did Goosey even come from? Was he in the bush with ACS? We'll never know, since the pacing and transition in this are baaad.]

[Steel: ANNND here we are with the insertion of Goosebumpsfan in this story, and yeah, you can probably see why I had to put him in this Lit due to the feud he had with SOF. This is gonna suck...]

“I’m ACS, and true…it’s like saying Justham is frankly a piece of ham,” 

[Jjs: I can’t believe we’re only the first episode in and we’re getting so many lame puns. Are we riffing ATTWL 3 again?]

[SOF: I wish.]

[Clappy: Justham in a cameo.]

[Hayden: Let's keep hamming it up.]

[Steel: And water is wet, cows go moo, the leading cause of death is death, an iceberg sunk the Titanic, CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DIDN'T DISCOVER AMERICA, WE STILL DON'T HAVE FLYING CARS-]

said ACS. Suddenly, World Travel pops up.

“And I would love to have a taste of that ham,” said World Travel, going off-topic.

[Jjs: *cricket chirps*]

[Clappy: Can we please start an awkward joke counter after this episode? Because it will be the only way to sit through these and keep us sane.]

[Hayden: Maybe it was on-topic. Maybe World Tour is trying to justham-bone?]

[Steel: Somebody call a bargain store clerk, cuz' that's the cheapest innuendo I've ever written.]

[Fred: These guys need to stop talking like pussies and ham it up, amirite?

No? Not funny? Well, of course it's not.]

“World Travel, how did you even get here?” ACS said.

[Steel: He was always here...]

[Hayden: Uh, duh, I think he knows how to travel the world.]

“I followed you, and I wanted to remind you not to go crazy,” said World Travel.

[Hayden: Excellent progress on that. Thanks voice in ACS' head.]

“Can I go home now?” Goosey said.

[Jjs: Wow, even Goosey doesn’t want to be a part of this.]

[Steel: I wonder how many more quotes we're going to see that's going to make us go, "Yep, that's how I'm feeling right now while reading this..."]

“YOU STAY,” ACS exclaimed.

[Goosey:  ]

[Clappy: Sorry Goosey, but you have to suffer like the rest of us reading this.]

[ACS: THE MIGHTY ACS COMMANDETH YOU TO DO THOU!]

“Well, it looks like you have things straightened out, so I’ll see you later,” said World Travel, and leaves ACS’ sight.

[Hayden: Wow, that's some flat-out self-denial. Back in the recesses of ACS' mind he goes.]

“You know, this is just pointless,

[Jjs: Accurate.]

[Clappy: Pot calling the kettle black.]

[SOF: Just like a majority of this miniseries.]

[Renegade: Unintentional metahumor.]

[Steel: ...Yep, we're going to see a lot of these type of quotes.]

I felt like you picked me randomly, and I’m in deep shit, because Steel knows what happened-“Goosey was saying, ACS cut him off.

[Clappy: Oh hello god-complex. You're making a much earlier arrival than I expected.]

[Hayden:  ]

[Steel: "I felt like you picked me randomly,"

"you picked me randomly"

So this is how part of the plot has started for Goosey. If that's bad, wait until it progresses...]

“Here’s the plan: walk up to him and tell him how to get into that radio station,” said ACS.

[Hayden: Goosey would have knowledge of this how?]

“Wouldn’t that be supporting the main target?” Goosey replied.

[Clappy: Ouch. God-complex. You're so blatant that it hurts.]

[Hayden: Helping him commit a felony will only support Goosey's arrest for aiding and abetting.]

“Not for long, now get out there and do it for real, because I’m not afraid to use my Hypercam!” ACS replied.

[Jjs: Uh oh Goosey. Don't let ACS use his dreaded Hypercam, or he'll upload a video of you with Bon Jovi music blasting in the background.]

[Steel: Oh yes, Hypercam: the most prominent threat used for blackmail.]

[Fred: What's he gonna do? Record us to death?]

[Hayden: Some cameras look like shotguns to the untrained eye.

 ]

Back at Steel’s scenario, he says to himself, “Someday, I’ll march my way to that radio station, and I’m not going to wait.”

[Fred: "I Don't Want to Wait"? I don't think that kind of radio station plays that song.]

[Clappy: I hope you don't mind me asking, but exactly what is the endgame for Steel with this radio station story? He promotes SBC on the radio and then what? Everyone listening suddenly joins SBC? Because I don't know about you guys, but when I hear a radio commercial, I immediately change the station looking for other music to listen to.]

[Hayden: Saying you'll do something someday implies waiting. Someday, I'll figure out why that sentence was so clumsy.]

[Steel: If that's his life's goal, then I feel bad for my fictionalized self.]

He gets surprised once Goosey approaches to him.

“Uh, hi Steel,” said Goosey.

[Renegade: ohai mark]

“What the hell do you want, and how do know where I was?” Steel asked.

[Clappy: Steel's right. How do you know where he was?]

[Hayden: How do know Steel affinity for talk like caveman?]

“I don’t know…” said Goosey and pauses for a moment,

[Hayden: Okay audience, was that a satisfying answer? Yes, No, or...

 ]

“So I see you really want to go up that radio station.”

“Just to help with advertising SBC, that’s all,” said Steel,

[Jjs: If you really want to help, try spam raiding other forums like we did back in the day.]

[Hayden: What kind of demographic would even hear this on the radio? SBC's oldest age grouping is Millennials. Steel isn't being charmingly naive here at all, it just makes me want to see him grounded and sniveling.]

[Clappy: Last time someone advertised SBC on any sort of radio:

]

“They won’t let me in because they don’t want to advertise something like that. I know what you did one time, and you’re not going to help.”

[Hayden: You also probably aren't paying them anything to put it on air since you're a little twerp with no basic understanding of a business economy.]

[SOF: I wouldn't want Goosey involved either, since he had no reason to even be in this miniseries. Seriously, why did ACS invite him here? Much like other things coming up, it's left unexplained and poorly set-up.]

“But teamwork is a wonderful thing, isn’t it?” Goosey said.

[Fred: Teamwork (Stancakes) is not wonderful cuz he got banned.]

“Oh now you’re proving a point,” said Steel,

[Hayden:  ]

[SOF: I don't think there's any "point" to this so far.]

“But just this once. Do you know I could get in?”

“Just watch me,” said Goosey. Goosebumpsfan then knocked on the door…

[Hayden: He'll scare the guard with a creepy Goosebumps bedtime story.]

“What do you want?” The guard said.

Steel then punches him in the faces and sneaks in.

[Renegade: "Faces"? So wait...the guard was Harvey Dent?]

[Fred: Watch out, folks. We got a little badass runnin' up through here.]

[Jjs: I can’t even imagine Steel doing this at all. Did Down Under Ex’s spirit possess Steel here?]

[Clappy: Oh Christ, now Steel is writing himself out to be a badass. God-complex, what is your endgame here? Because radio stations are not THAT easy to break into.]

[Hayden: Guard's more talkative for Goosey because I guess Goosey is easier to take seriously than Steel.]

[Steel: Ugh.... One. That came out of nowhere. Two. If my DSotH self could've actually done that, why didn't he do that BEFORE? Three, "faces" shouldn't be plural. Four. Remember when we reviled some of the representations of Ex in some of the works we riffed? Trying to write someone as a badass is proving to be a bit of a problem considering how, at this time, anyone wanted to make themselves act cool. I mean, you can make it work, but it's just painful to see how I've written myself to go as far as to clobber some people just to advertise SBC on a radio station.]

“I told you that I didn’t need your help,” Steel said to Goosey, “Not that you’re a decoy or anything.”

Steel and Goosey then enter inside the radio station, and both come across one empty booth.

[Hayden: How miraculous they didn't encounter a single other person! I guess kiddy Steel just one shotted anybody else. And I'm sure they've thought about all the repercussions of the unauthorized message they're about to send out, basically alerting everyone in the station.]

“Now it’s my turn to tell them about SBC,” Said Steel, “And that’s not the only thing.”

“What do you mean?” Goosey said.

Steel is then on the air and says, “Hello everybody, you’re wondering, “Who the hell are you anyways?”

[Fred: No. I'm wondering why we care about this?]

Let me tell you, my name is Steel, but you can call me Steel because I like to pretend that my first name doesn’t exist.” Steel announced.

[Clappy: Do you hear that sound? That's the sound of dead airwaves.]

[Hayden: 

]

[Fred: I thought your name was "Double S in the Morning".]

[Steel: Why even tell people you're preferred to be called by your username when you already addressed yourself as such?]

“Okay then, so I guess-“said Goosey.

“Zip it, we can’t let you know that you’re in the radio station,” said Steel. He continues and then says, “Forget about the previous statement, you know how microphones are always kept on, now anyways…”

[Clappy: ...where are the chirping crickets? Is this back and forth so boring and unamusing that not even the crickets want to chirp for it?]

[Steel: Yeah, and now some people on SBC know that you have Goosey with you in the soundstage. So much for trying to turn off that mic, huh?]

[Hayden: Do people on SBC even know Goosey's voice? Why does Goosey being recognized matter when Steel's identity being public will realistically get him in massive trouble? All the cops/station need to do is IP trace him on the thing he's advertising. Also, I'm pretty sure any improv ever has been less cringy than this, and if Steel is assumed to have rehearsed this...]

Then the scene is someplace else

[Jjs: Which still isn’t vague at all.]

[Clappy: Are the smooth transitions someplace else too because they are not here.]

and shows another SBC member, named Clappy, along with another named Justham.

[Hayden: Well now that Clappy enters the story, I've decided to post something about him that will be less embarrassing than whatever he does in this story.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=clappy ]

“What’s for breakfast?” Justham said.

[Renegade: ...Just ham.]

[Clappy: Let's thank Steel for not making a green eggs and ham "joke".]

[Fred: I wouldn't read it on a cake, I wouldn't read it in a lake

I do not like this lit with Justham, I do not like it, Steel-I-Am]

“I’ll find something once I’m done,” said Clappy.

[Jjs: Clappy, is that really you? When did you get so bland?]

[Hayden: He has no Clappetite.]

“Addicted to SBC again?” Justham replied.

“Making over 9,000 posts is an achievement you know,” said Clappy, “There’s a thread implying that Steel is doing a radio broadcast about SBC, I should check out the online radio,” said Clappy.

[Steel: This is pot calling the kettle black if you judge my activity on SBC at the time this Lit was written.]

[Clappy: Yes, because I clearly have nothing else better to do with my life.]

[Fred-di Pickles: Clappy, it's 4 in the morning. Why are you posting on SBC?]

[Hayden: I don't think I've even made that many. This characterization comes off sounding like a straight up diss. Steel gets to be a badass while Clappy sounds like the dork. Also, what does this thread imply? Did Steel link the site or did Clappy pin down the one and only magic online radio?]

Zooming back to where Steel is, he continues and says, “Spongebob Community, go there. If you are one, here’s a surprise: as anybody is listening this, tell everybody else, because it’s time! You can start giving me a phone call. Dial or text 555

[Steel: Obligatory fake first phone number combination.]

-666-

[Steel: Number of the beast.]

1279,

[Steel: Sym-Bionic Titan reference.]

yeah…that’s the number.”

[Jjs: I almost feel tempted to text that number and see what happens.]

[Clappy: Worst radio pitch. Ever.]

[SOF: Gee, where I have seen this plot before... *coughKickassiacough*]

[Fred: The last time I did that, there was this breathy guy on the phone asking me to come to his house with the promises of Disney movies and candy.]

[Hayden: The surprise is that if people sign up for SBC, they can phone this dweeb? Yeah, I see the god-complex angle, so far all of this has been a "me, me, me" broadcast instead of anything resembling good intentions.]

“Are you going to believe that one member can respond to you?” Goosey said.

[Clappy: Valid question from Goosey here.]

“I already said you don’t have the right to speak!” Steel said to him again.

[Clappy: Hey fictional Steel. Fuck you. The Constitution gives him as much right to speak as you to punch out a guard.]

[Hayden: Can Goosey speak if he dials/texts that number?]

[Steel: One chapter in, and I already feel like calling out my past self, cuz' if I really did portray myself as some hot-tempered, internet tough guy/loose cannon cop who doesn't play by the rules for most of this Lit back then, then I might reconsider calling my other old shame as my worst written work. It's just painful to see that I have myself look dishonest, cuz' if I were now to portray myself now in a Literature, it would be just like my own personality as this Lit makes my fictionalized self act the exact opposite. So, to my past self, you wanted to portray yourself like the Nostalgia Critic, right? That's not a bad idea, but don't make him a complete butt.]

The phone next to the microphone then rings.

“And now I got my first call,” Steel then picks it up and says, “Hello, you’re on the air with yours truly.”

The caller was Clappy, “Um yeah, when you said “it’s time,” what’s that supposed to mean?””

[Jjs: It means it’s time for the plot to actually start...hopefully.]

[Clappy: It's time for something to actually happen.]

[Hayden: It's time for Steel's horrible in-episode speech structure to be nitpicked. If only the rest of us riffers could call in live right now.]

[Fred: It's Adventure Time!]

[Steel: Time for some character development.]

“I just want to tell you that I received a reservation to-,” said Steel, “Wait, I got another call,” he then talks to the other caller and says, “This is Steel.”

[Renegade: Is this the Krusty Krab?]

[Caller: *snicker snicker* So.....uh.....I'm looking for a person named "Jack Kingoff"? Are you "Jack Kingoff"? *snicker snicker*]

[Steel: Remember when I said that the past work of mine that I riffed took the storyline from an episode of Total Drama? These next few pieces of dialogue are ripped from Kickassia.] 

[Hayden: I should kick your assia for ripping off Total Drama.]

“What the hell is wrong with you, now you’re doing a radio broadcast to advertise a forum?” The caller was a member named ExKizuna.

[Clappy: You know, in case you forgot that all these people were once members.]

[Jjs: Wow, Ex actually asked a legitimate question. Maybe, just maybe, this will break the adaptation curse...]

[Hayden: Are any of the callers not going to be conveniently from the site being advertised? Maybe somebody confused? Maybe somebody that will cuss Steel out?]

[Steel: Never did I even want to see my portrayal of Ex call out my portrayal of my own self. Good work DSotH!Ex, maybe you'll be a better character than I am.]

“I guess you must be Ex, short story, but I’ll explain at the end of these calls because I think I’m getting another one,” said Steel, and he was right,

[Clappy: Even Steel is procrastinating from letting this plot kick in. Also, how can you not know if you are getting another call? Do you not recognize the busy dial tone?]

[Hayden: All that matters is that Steel's right.]

“May I help you?”

[Caller: Uh hi, stop calling me, you fuckin' weirdo.]

“It’s 4: 31, dipshit,” said a member named Dragiiin123.

[Jjs: Why do you keep writing “a member named”? We already know they’re a member of SBC, considering it was only posted on here (thankfully).]

[Steel: A member named Jjs made a point there.]

“Who are you again?” Steel said.

[Fred: A member named Dragiiin123.]

“I’m Dragiiin. By the way, when you said “it’s time,” was it some kind of plot of yours? And does it involve My Little-“said Dragiiin.

[Clappy: Wow. I've seen some very lazy set-ups for a story, but this one might just take the ca- hold on, I've got another call.]

[Hayden: *on phone with Clappy* That was a pretty big goddamn leap of correlation.]

[Renegade: If he's looking for a plot, then it certainly isn't happening here.]

“I’ll answer later, I got yet another call,” said Steel, “Who is it?”

“This is Jelly, what’s the point of broadcasting something like that, and what do you mean “it’s time?” Jelly asked.

[SOF: Can we call the Padding Police out of retirement? Because it looks like we're gonna get a lot of padding, joy.]

[Jjs: So is the rest of this episode just going to be users responding to Steel’s strange and unexplained radio broadcast? Wow, just wow. This may be one of the laziest set-ups I've ever seen for an SBC pilot in riffing history so far...]

[Hayden: Let's go through every member telling him he's a moron, leading up to him being forcefully kicked out of that booth. Only ending to this chapter that fits.]

“I’m in a bundled mess right now;

[Clappy: Accurate.]

[Hayden:  ]

I’ll tell you in a moment, which is the time I’ll answer the other previous callers,” said Steel, and then gets another caller, “Should have guessed…”

[Hayden: STOP TAKING CALLS AND JUST GO BACK TO CLARIFYING ON THE RADIO.]

The caller was tvguy347, “Dragiiin was wrong, it’s 1: 33,” said tvguy.

[Hayden:  ]

“And I assume its tvguy,” said Steel, “And besides, it is 1: 33 since we’re in the West Coast.”

[Jjs: Cool, timezone lessons. Now can we please move on? You could’ve done this whole calling thing in a montage, it didn’t need to drag on for what feels like forever.]

[Fred: Well, apparently, everyone who doesn't live in the West Coast is wrong. It's 1:33 and anyone who says otherwise shall be egged to death!]

[Steel: Stop ripping off Kickassia and actually focus on the story that's meant to be told here.]

[Hayden: How does Steel keep assuming the correct members on his first try? Jesus Christ.]

“Dude, at least give a meaning on why you’re doing this,” said tvguy.

[Clappy: Seriously. Even your own story is getting tired of this never ending bullshit. I've wasted two pages on reading this and I'm honestly getting tired riffing this. Move on already.]

“Listen, I made a good deal to go to a convention with our closest e-friends, so give that reminder to the others,” said Steel, “And another call at the right time…”

”This is SOF, I can help, right?” SOF said.

[Jjs: The meta here is hilarious.]

[Clappy: I think you've helped enough SOF.]

[Hayden: SOF helped improve this scene.]

[SOF: Wow, not even a typo or error in that line.]

“Yep, I’ll give you the place where you, I, and the rest could meet before the convention once Im done with my broadcast,” said Steel, “Got another call…”

[Steel: Oh man, I can't take enough of these calls after calls!]

[Hayden: Steel has found his calling.]

It was Clappy again. “So that’s what you meant by saying “it’s time?” Clappy asked.

[Fred: No, he was talking about the Imagine Dragons song, duh.]

[Jjs: Jesus Christ, now I know how Clappy felt in Can You Please Past the Future. Can we move the fuck on already? We don’t need Steel talking to every SBC member to get to the "plot"...especially when their conversations are pretty much the same thing.]

[Clappy: I've already chimed in on my thoughts earlier on, but yeah. This is beyond lazy.]

[Hayden: Can someone tell me why this had to happen over a radio station instead of with a fricking chat box on SBC?]

“Exactly, tvguy should be spreading the word, and I’ll tell you guys where we would meet before that convention begins, and I checked out an excellent hotel room for all of you,” said Steel, 

[Jjs: Wow, Steel can easily check out a hotel room when he was only 16 at the time this was written. I know literatures never had to be realistic, but come on now.]

[Hayden: He checked out a hotel room without telling anybody the details beforehand? You kind of need to negotiate this shit. A+ handiwork, jackass.]

“That’s all I have for the moment, so let’s go to our sponsors,” Steel then goes off the air.

[Clappy: Then what do you call what you just did for SBC?]

[Steel: Sign up for a 30-day trial on Audible.com, a company headed by Amazon. It offers amazing audio programs for your favorite books and other forms of literature. Audible is also allowing the use of some spin-offs/lits for their audiobook library. So maybe if you want to listen to one of your old shames and ask yourself "why did I write this crap?," then Audible might be the perfect choice to get you started on using audiobooks.]

[Hayden: How are there sponsors when he just hijacked it and is sponsoring something...

 ]

“Wow, busy day, eh Steel?” Goosey said.

“Well no, and it wasn’t really difficult to negotiate with those guys,” said Steel.

[Clappy: It would have been easier if you just GOT TO THE FUCKING POINT.]

[Steel: Says the guy who had to juggle around a ton of those phone calls.]

[Hayden: How was he advertising SBC if he was just telling everyone about an arrangement he set up for all of them to go to a convention? And I guess it isn't hard to negotiate something when you dictate it without talking to anybody else.]

“And you’re going to a convention? May I come?” Goosey replied.

“I didn’t say I planned on making you go, so you can run back to where you were before,” Steel replied.

[Hayden: So if you didn't plan on MAKING someone go, they can't volunteer to come along of their own free will?]

[Clappy: Run. Run back to your computer screen.]

Goosey then leaves the radio station along with Steel.

[Hayden: You're forgetting the part where the guard woke up and shot them both.]

The next day, the location was in San Diego and Elastic was walking by.

[Jjs: Elastic doesn’t live in San Diego, so I am very curious how he got there. Explanation?]

[Clappy: Must have traveled by sheer convenience. Like everything else in Steel/SOF-verse.]

[Steel: For the convenience of making an SBC meet-up/team-up Lit, of course.]

[Fred: Everyone all lives in California now, I guess. Me? SOF? Jjs? JCM? Wumbo? Clappy? Zoidberg? We all live in California now.]

“So this is the hotel room Steel was talking about,” Elastic said to himself.

He enters to see a crowd of other SBC members with an annoyed look on their faces, with the exception of SOF. 

[Jjs: Wow, accurate representation of the riffers.]

[SOF: Ironic considering how little I actually contributed to this.]

[Hayden: They all realize they didn't have to come, right? Or what? Would Steel stalk them, break into their houses, and punch them? When would he ever do something so disrespectfu-oh.]

Clappy, Dragiiin, Jjs, CF, OMJ, Jelly, Fa, tvguy, Ex, Deli, Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick, 70s, SpongeSebastian, Metal Snake, Wumbology, CDCB, Pakasa43, and teenj12 were also there.

[Clappy: Hey, I recognize those names from the credits. I also laughed at how most of those full usernames got abbreviated except for Pakasa and teenj. It's like Steel is telling them you are relegated to keep your full username.]

[Jjs: Also, scratch my previous riff. How the hell did any of these people get here? Only tvguy and Steel live in California. Did they take an airplane? If so, that is an even faster airplane than the one OMJ took in ATTWL 3. As you can tell, pacing is apparently an urban legend in this literature so far.]

[Hayden: Steel paid for all their travel expenses because he's a secret billionaire. Also, all of these users have neglectful parents that don't care where they go.]

[Fred: Everyone all lives in California.]

[Steel: Can't really B.S. my way out of this weird pacing. However, my excuse is the Lit indicates that Steel collectively invited them all to come to a convention in California with unspecified means of transport. So in other words, convenience.]

“Not what I had in mind,” said Elastic.

“True that,” said Metal Snake.

[Hayden: I'm sure 20 people can share one hotel room without fuss.]

Steel then comes in and says, “Hello members of SBC, how are you guys?”

[Clappy:  ]

[Steel: Wouldn't be surprised if the best possible response is "We never asked for this."]

“A little bit annoyed,” said 70s.

[Jjs: Is 70s riffing with us too now?]

“So Steel, you called us here to tell us to go to that convention with you?” Ex asked.

[SOF: Does "that convention" have a less vague name?]

“Pretty much, it’s going to be a pleasure to hang out with you all,” said Steel.

“And that’s it? This is ridiculous and appreciative at the same time,” said CDCB.

[Hayden: I wouldn't call appreciative the right word.]

“Now here’s what I want you guys to do: SOF suggested we can pose as TGWTG critics from that one popular website, it’s all just for fun,” Steel explained.

[Jjs: ...WHAT? WHY?! Why are they posing as That Guy With The Glasses (now Channel Awesome for those unaware) critics? That came right out of nowhere. In fact, while I'm at it, why are they even going to this convention? Seriously, what the hell is going on here? I thought the first episode of a miniseries was supposed to actually set things up.]

[Hayden: I see SOF helping is off to a great start.]

[Clappy: To add on to all of this mindfuckery, isn't this supposed to be a MLP story? Because outside of Rainbow Dash at the very beginning, there is nothing going on involving that. So far the only thing being set up is that no one likes ACS (trope), Goosey is dumb and spineless (trope), fictional Steel is supposed to be written like an all knowing badass, but is coming off as an obnoxious asshole (god-complex), and that the rest of the SBC cast is being clumped together as one giant group of bland and boring (who cares as long as Steel and I assume at some point SOF look strong).]

[SOF: LMAO WUT? Yeah, believe it or not, but the cosplaying part actually wasn't my idea (but the NC element in general was). That was Steel's idea, which I don't think I agreed to or knew entirely about, since the "posing as TGWTG critics" thing doesn't impact this in any way. Hell, me suggesting this is kind of lulzy in hindsight since I've long outgrown Nostalgia Critic.]

[Steel: I don't think I need to add anything to this except that this little plot fragment taken from Suburban Knights won't have any real meaning by the time the main storyline actually comes into effect.]

[Fred: If I could be a Todd in the Shadows or Cinema Snob, sure. Still, what?]

“What do we choose?” 70s said.

[Renegade: CHOOSE THE RED PILL.]

”What did you expect? Choose somebody that is from TGWTG and come back to me, so you guys can wander around in stores and find the best of what you think,” Steel continued.

[Renegade: AAAAAND welcome to Diet Kickassia.]

[Clappy: Message to our protagonist. Not everyone on the internet knows about TGWTG or is that not "what did you expect". And what the fuck do you mean "wander around in stores and find the best of what you think"? Good lord, this needed to be read over for grammar once more.]

[Hayden: What if none of them even look like TGWTG critics? If it's just for fun, why can't anybody cosplay as whatever the hell they want? This is seriously starting to top the radio bullshit for an unbelievable and fucked up situation. I'm surprised Steel didn't just have himself kidnap everyone, because so far it'd be in-character with what we've seen from him.]

“Okay then…” said Wumbo.

[Clappy: Wow Wumbo, you sure sound bland. I would expect a clever reply to such a demanding prick.]

[Wumbo: So I'm basically held against Steel's will and he wants me to dress up as some critic from a reviewing website that I have little to no knowledge of. Okay, sure. I'll roll with it.]

A few minutes later, everybody left, except SOF and Steel.

“We already have ours handled?” Steel asked.

“Of course,” said SOF, “I am the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don’t have to.”

[Hayden: Good, I don't want to remember it.]

[Jjs: Foreshadowing to SOF’s “Exciting” Critic Corner?]

[SOF: *facepalm* OH GOD, please no Critic Corner flashbacks.]

[Clappy: Does that make Steel the Nostalgia Chick?]

[Renegade: I call Linkara!]

[Fred: What's a Nostalgia Critic?

Also, P.S. The Real Nostalgia Critic doesn't skip over any important episodes or scenes when reviewing stuff.]

It later shows outside.

[Clappy: Seriously though, fuck these transitions. I'm in for a long riffing period if they are this poorly written.]

[Hayden: SOF's great NC acting later shows outside?]

The convention was shown, along with Rainbow Dash looking into it ominously.

[Hayden: Uh ohz!

 

At least these will get some mileage.]

TO BE CONTINUED…

Whew, I'm bushed.

[Fred: Yes, you are. And so am I. Good night and good luck.]

[Hayden: 

*goes on only two chapter break I'm getting*]

[Jjs: You were that tired only after one episode, where nothing pretty much happened if I might add? Something tells me this is a very bad sign for the remaining six parts, if this one wasn’t enough of a bad sign.]

[Clappy: Yeah, that was a lot of work. This is the first riff in awhile that has left me speechless. NOTHING HAPPENED. And there are six more parts too? Christ, sign me up for more of these because I am actually intrigued as to how much worse this will get.]

[Steel: This part was uneventful, and that's an understatement. After that disastrous warm-up of a chapter, the next part should be where the storyline actually starts moving along. Will it get worse? Well, I've already been thinking about if I will actually have attain some new respect to my other old shame that I riffed, so we'll see how the rest of this story goes...]

[Renegade: Yeah...I'm just gonna say that this is Seinfeld's premise, a "show about nothing" taken to the logical extreme. Also, way to abandon a potential satire plot for Diet TGWTG anniversary specials not even halfway through. Can't wait to see how further downhill this goes.]

[SOF: Wow, literally nothing happened in part one. All we get is a strange introduction to the SBC members, along with a slow and lazy set-up. If you're expecting lots of MLP, prepare for a disappointment to say the least. Even though I barely did anything contribution wise other than giving Steel some lazy ideas, trust me, I regret this a lot. Oh boy, just wait to see how the rest goes, because I have a bone to pick with this old shame...]

 

Edited December 13, 2018 by MLG Vanilluxe

[Clappy]

I'm quite proud of how these riffs turned out pretty well if I do say so myself.  So many people playing off each other very well.  If I could signal one riff out in particular that had me laughing was Steel's Audible advertisement.

Can't wait to see how the rest of these turned out.

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

Nice job, guys. I really liked Clappy's riffs the most in this one.

[Joe Biden]

Awesome riffs, guys. I think they came out really nice.

[SpongeOddFan]

everyone did awesome job with their riffs.

[Jjs Goodman]

The Dark Side of the Herd

2. Part II

Spoiler

The Dark Side of the Herd Part 2

[Jjs: Hopefully something actually happens in this part.]

[OMJ: Well, at least I'm sure Spongetron can appreciate that title because Pink Floyd.]

[Metal Snake: I don’t get the title, discounting the Pink Floyd reference. What is the dark side of the herd, according to this show? Have we been bad bronies? Are we the black sheep of the bunch?]

[Steel: The title is somewhat of a reference to Pink Floyd, but sadly they're not making an appearance in this Lit.]

Steel and SOF were near the entrance waiting for everybody else.

[Jjs: Yup. I guess Steel and SOF are the "stars" of this lit. Now the question is, will they be written well at all...or interesting?]

[SOF: I hope my only purpose in this story isn't just to follow Steel around and always agree with him...oh wait.]

[Steel: Could you guys be any slower at developing your characters?]

[SOF: what he said]

[Steel:

]

Later, they all arrived.

[SOF: How much later? I hope Steel and I didn't wait too long.]

Steel, who was already there,

[Metal Snake: I never would’ve guessed, he was only near the entrance waiting for everybody else.]

was Linkara. Ex was Cinema Snob, Jjs was Spoony, Elastic was Phelous, Pakasa was Benzaie, Dragiiin was Film Brain, Jelly was Nostalgia Chick, OMJ was Angry Joe, CF was MarzGurl, Deli was Obscurus Lupa, 70s was Bennett the Sage, Wumbo was Jew Wario, SpongeSebastian was Handsome Tom, Metal Snake was Todd in the Shadows, Clappy was Paw, and Fa was 8-Bit Mickey.

[Jjs: Cool, Channel Awesome reviewers. Still not sure how this actually relates to anything, though. I could also be a douche and say I don't think I'd ever be Spoony in any context, but okay, sure, why not.]

[SOF: So uh, is this a Channel Awesome lit or a MLP lit? Either way, it appears Past Steel and SOF couldn't make up their minds, as you'll see the more we go along.]

[OMJ: Yeah, Elastic would def be Cinema Snob, at least to me. Wumbo would without a doubt be the definitive Todd in the Shadows, among others. Ex can be my Other Joe. Everyone else is a blur to me, but Mothra would definitely take Film Brain considering her history of boners for him, for whatever reason.]

[Metal Snake: Most of them are nothing like the reviewers they’ve been matched up for, big shocker. I can’t imagine Jjs as Spoony for the life of me and OMJ as Angry Joe...the lel, the lel…]

[Steel: At least this part isn't dedicated to introducing the characters they're playing tho. For a Lit that intends to be a homage to Suburban Knights, this is technically one of two things you're only getting from it.]

hilaryfan80, teenj, and CDCB didn’t have a costume.

[Jjs: Wow, not even CDCB, hilaryfan80 and teenj want to get involved with whatever the fuck this is.]

[OMJ: Maybe they brought their pony costumes instead since this is still somehow an "MLP lit", but were then told not to.]

[Metal Snake: hilaryfan80 wouldn’t make a bad Rainbow Dash if we’re talking personality matchups, but I guess Lew stole his costume.]

[Steel: I would've brought up the whole "I ran out of Channel Awesome reviewers to have anyone else portray" excuse but looking at this right now, I can only give these guys credit for not getting with DSotH!Steel's system.]

“Everything seems to be in order except for few of you,” said Steel, “and tvguy, who are you suppose to be?”

“Who do you think I am? I’m Fry from Futurama,” said tvguy.

[Jjs: Not even tvguy wanted to follow the theme, can't blame him...seriously, why the hell are they cosplaying as Channel Awesome reviewers?]

[OMJ: It must be the dark side of this "herd" I keep hearing about. I guess Channel Awesome reviewers bring out our dark sides. Maybe to the Todd Squad.]

[Metal Snake: No Steel, tvguy always used Bender from Futurama as his avatar. Even if you forgot that, just think about it. Who do you think matches better with him?]

“Well, you had it all wrong, but you’re not the only one who any of the TGWTG reviewers isn’t,” said Steel.

[Jjs: ...Who the hell actually talks like this and in what dimension?]

[OMJ: Bitch, you had that sentence all wrong. It's like some goddamn verbal rubix cube.]

[Metal Snake: What, did SOF edit this?]

[Steel: I guess I've been spending too much time with SOF.]

[SOF: Even though I didn't write or edit any of this, this does feels like something I'd write. Maybe I possessed Steel in this line or something.]

“Who the hell is that guy with the glasses anyway?” tvguy asked.

[OMJ: it's the guy that won't get hit in this story obvi.]

[Steel: Why don't you ask That Guy With the Glasses? Lol, puns.]

“Don’t mean it literally, and it won’t be a long story,” Steel replied,

[Jjs: I hope not, because this episode is already dragging, and we've barely started.]

[OMJ: It's gonna be a long story, isn't it? Steel's gonna go all Walking Dead on this shit now and dedicate an entire one hour episode to something so stupid and minor and non-contributory to the main story?!]

[Metal Snake: I sadly understood the last thing you said better.]

[Steel: hey is it just me or is this episode getting longer? *Scrolls down* Oooohhhhh nooooo....]

“Now that we’re done, let’s go inside!”

[OMJ: Oh, no. I was wrong. It looks okay. 

 ]

They all went inside and the convention was huge as it should be.

[Jjs: Lovin' the details.]

[OMJ: So are we gonna film the next fucking TGWTG movie or are we gonna get on with this "MLP lit"? The very likely fact that this isn't even a Brony convention already disturbs me.]

[Metal Snake: So...this is BronyCon?]

“Now, which exhibit should we stroll to first?” Steel said.

[OMJ: ...And this is our story badass right here?]

“PONIES,” Jelly said randomly,

[Jjs: There's the pony theme. Now my question is, how the hell do ponies and Channel Awesome reviewers correlate?]

[Metal Snake: Who the hell randomly says “PONIES” unironically?]

[Steel: It's funny because the majority of SBC used to be obsessed with ponies.]

“Well, that exhibit over is crowed anyways,” she said referring to the MLP: FiM exhibit.

[Jjs: "Exhibit over is crowded"? Wow, Clappy was right last chapter, this thing needed proofreading too.]

[Metal Snake: >PONIES

>but the exhibit is crowded anyways

Love the inconsistent attitude. What are you, Gollam?]

“Dibs on that one,” said Clappy, and everybody except teenj and tvguy followed them.

[OMJ: Clappy is really embracing the brony culture all while not being a full fledged viewer of it! If I can give this story credit for one thing, it's this probably unintended accurate portrayal of most of our shallow love for this show at the time.]

“You two aren’t coming?” Steel said.

[SOF: I don't blame them.]

“We aren’t completely introduced to that stuff yet, so we’ll do whatever else we want to do,” said teenj.

[Jjs: At least teenj and tvguy have spines unlike everyone else so far.]

[OMJ: Two of the younger members at the time having more individuality than most of their seniors. I'm definitely rooting for them more than us right now.]

[SOF: "That stuff"? Strange way to identify MLP...]

[Metal Snake: Not completely introduced to it yet? You can just say “We aren’t MLP fans.”.]

[Steel: teenj and tvguy decided that they had enough with Steel's charade and decided to ditch him for the rest of the story.

...I assume.]

They continue off and we now see ACS who was hiding in a potted plant, along with Goosey again.

[Jjs: Note to self. Make sure ACS and Goosey aren't hidden in any potted plants I see.]

[OMJ: Could you get anymore cartoonish? Are they both spying on us with a couple of oversized binoculars, but Goosey is looking through the wrong lens that makes us appear farther away?]

[Metal Snake: After all this drab exposition, paying homage to the Looney Tunes just doesn’t fit.]

[Steel: In the next episode, ACS hides behind a ficus, as conveniently placed by his conveniently appointed florist.]

“Now Goosebumpsfan, I need you to tell me where I can find Dragiiin. Every active member I know and despise should be here,” said ACS.

[OMJ: Oh come on, not all of us dick rode Dragiiin back then- ahh who am I kidding, we all still dick ride Dragiiin til this day.]

[SOF: What confuses me is, why does ACS want Dragiiin so much to begin with? What did Drag even do to him? If it's a reference to a fight they had, this lit could have explained it better...once again, lack of proper set-up.]

“Elementary, Dragiiin is dressed as Film Brain who’s in the My Little Pony section,” said Goosey.

[Metal Snake: God, I love taking the time to let the unintentional hilarity of some of these lines sink in.

“Elementary, Dragiiin is dressed as Film Brain who’s in the My Little Pony section.”

Forget the bad grammar, the BAD ENGRISH implying that it’s Film Brain in the MLP section and not Dragiiin, who. would. say. that. in. real. life.]

[SOF: Speaking of Film Brain, Mothra would've made sense to cosplay as Film Brain due to her obsession with him like OMJ pointed out. She even liked MLP, so she could have been perfect to use...just yet another wasted opportunity for this miniseries.]

[Jjs: What SOF said...although, after how I portrayed Mothra in SBCPU S2, and with how this story is going so far, maybe it's for the best another literature didn't have her.]

[Goosey: Elementary, my dear ACS. You know my methods.]

“Wow, for somebody who has made a lot of typos, you sure are smart,” said ACS.

[Jjs: Wow, Goosey isn't being portrayed as the spineless idiot for a change? Maybe this miniseries won't be as unoriginal as I think it is so far, but I'm getting ahead of myself.]

[OMJ: Probably the best compliment you're ever gonna get out of ACS.]

[Steel: For a Lit that's making a lot of typos, Goosey sure is smarter than it's making him out to be.]

“Don’t speak of that, and besides I’m a true fan when it comes to TGWTG,” said Goosey, “Now can I go home? You can’t just drag me around to places like that.”

[OMJ: Yeah, that's like almost kidnapping somebody against their will!]

[Metal Snake: “Don’t speak of me being smart!”]

[SOF: Goosey still doesn't want to be a part of this.]

[Steel: For some reason, I feel I got my character and Goosey's backwards, cuz' if there's anyone I'm rooting for right now, it's him. He speaks for himself when he says he has no reason of being plastered into this story. Even after the trainwreck that was Chapters 6 & 7, I show pity for how I ended up writing him.]

“My plan is not done yet. I’ll be right back, you find the two non-participants,” ACS said referring to teenj and tvguy.

[Jjs: How would they even know what teenj and tvguy look like?]

Teenj and tvguy were walking around until Goosey catches up to them.

[OMJ: If Goosey is so eager to go home and get the fuck away from ACS, why doesn't he just bail right now? I mean, ACS just left him by himself with no threat  or insurance policy loomed over him.]

[Steel: If Goosey wants to go home, these two will go home with him.

I assume.]

[Metal Snake: Walking around until the guy who’s hunting you down catches up to you, great tactic.]

“Do I know you from somewhere?” Tvguy said to Goosey.

[Jjs: *points to riff above* Again, how the hell does Goosey know they are tvguy and teenj? Did he stalk the Reality Image topic?]

[SOF: Maybe ACS did considering how much he stalks us, and showed Goosey what they look like.]

“Some dude forced me in here, okay?” Goosey said, “I’m Goosebumpsfan.”

“And you’re also forced to stalk us, right?” Teenj said.

[OMJ: That's an oddly direct conclusion to come to, but whatever stops this story from stalling, who am I to fucking complain.]

[Steel: You know, if these guys were so story-savvy, they wouldn't keep hanging around for the rest of the story.]

“Sure, but not like I wanted to but…” Goosey replied, the two turned away after that, “Well, I tried.”

[Jjs: That's okay, you get a ribbon for trying.]

[SOF: That's okay, you can try again in six months.]

[OMJ: Good, let's just leave him to his captor and not call the proper authorities even though he can just escape right now if he really wanted to.]

[Metal Snake: What, was this supposed to be a joke? If it was, it’s the kind of joke that doesn’t understand these things called timing, pacing, and delivery of punchlines. But what do I expect when this entire show doesn’t seem to understand timing, pacing, and the delivery of punchlines.]

[Steel: That's okay. You tried harder than I did writing this.]

Meanwhile at the MLP: FiM exhibit, Rainbow Dash was one of the attendees on stage,

[OMJ: LOOK EVERYBODY, IT'S RAINBOW DASH AND NOT SOME SPONGEBOB FORUM TROLL SECRETLY PLOTTING TO KILL OTHER SPONGEBOB FORUM MEMBERS!]

while the SBC members were watching, and with Dragiiin peering through with his eyes filled with anticipation.

“Oh my goodness, I’m so excited!” Dragiiin exclaimed.

“That’s Film Brain to ya,” said SOF.

[SOF: Lovely, a bland SOF characterization... *sarcasm*]

“Yep,” said Dragiiin, “Even though I didn’t want to do that.”

[Metal Snake: THE VOICES IN MY HEAD TOLD ME TO DO IT]

“So you’re Metal Snake, right?” Jjs said to him.

“Yep, I’m the one who can barely see with this mask, and I bet you’re the insane guy,” said Metal Snake.

[Steel: Did I ever mention some moments where this story was filled with exposition? This is what you're all looking at right now.]

[Metal Snake: Yep, this is a perfectly accurate reenactment of how a typical conversation goes with Jjs and I.]

[SOF: "The one who can barely see with this mask" and "the insane guy" are odd ways to classify Metal and Jjs...]

“Preferably experiencing on doing detective work, maybe we can go for some bagels,” jjs replied.

[Jjs: Compelling.]

[Steel: Why stuff your face when you should be cracking down on some SBC trolls?]

[OMJ: So this is how SBC would be if everybody were Steel.]

[Metal Snake: bagels

For God’s sake, at least the food in SOF’s writing wasn’t bland.]

“Well, this is it. I can’t wait to see what’s in store,” said Jelly.

[Jjs: I can wait, considering nothing has been "in store" for this so far.   ]

“Once this is over, maybe we can go for some bagels,” said Clappy.

[Jjs: Why is bland Clappy stealing bland me's dialogue?]

[OMJ: Gotta admit, it's a nice pickup line. I'm sure its helped Steel score plenty of mamacitas in his day. Maybe I should steel bland you's dialogue next.]

[Metal Snake: was i too hard on you no i was not too hard on you

Recycling an already bland-as-hell line? You have to be fucking kidding me. Even if you just had Clappy say “donuts”, I wouldn’t be too miffed.]

[SOF: I'm not even sure if this is supposed to be a joke, because all it's doing is making me hungry instead of laughing.]

[Steel: ...Sure. You know, maybe a bagel would sound good right now. In fact, let's all ditch this theater and go for some bagels. I like bagels, who doesn't like 'em? What kind do you guys like? Cinnamon raisin? Poppyseed? You guys prefer white, wheat, or rye?

You see that? This piece of meta fiction should be doing something besides providing random exposition.]

”Do you think that should matter?” Jelly said.

[OMJ: In her defense, bland Clappy really did come out with that zinger completely out of nowhere. Like an RKO.]

[Metal Snake: Everything is pointless if you really think about it…]

[Steel: Come on, you know you want a bagel too.]

One fan in front of OMJ says, “Hey, are you that one guy from SBC?”

[Jjs: Oh hey, here's OMJ. Let's see if OMJ is portrayed as a "badass" yet again, another SBC literature cliche.]

[OMJ: I probably paid him to say that. But let's be real, SBC sure as hell isn't pop culture knowledge.]

[SOF: No, he's the guy from SBM, which reminds me, surprised they haven't been dragged into this yet.]

[Steel: Um...which guy are you referring to, Old Bland Jenkins?]

”What do you mean “that guy?” I’m definitely not OMJ if you were thinking of that,” said OMJ.

[Jjs: Never mind. OMJ, is that really you? When did you get so bland?]

[OMJ: I'm not This Guy. I'm not That Guy. I'm THE Guy.

  ]

“So it is you-“said the fan.

“Nobody must know,” said OMJ, punching him in the knuckles.

[OMJ: Well that's awfully rude of me, but I do enjoy playing me some Bloody Knuckles.]

[Jjs: I don't get the joke here. Even when you try to make OMJ look "badass" (if that's what's being attempted here), why does OMJ want his identity hidden so badly? Does he not want people to know he's in this miniseries (wouldn't blame him)? Context...PLEASE.]

[Metal Snake: He punched him in the...knuckles? Is it a friendly fist bump? Is he actually trying to hurt him? For the love of God, please clarify!]

[Steel: Whoa, slow down Mike Tyson.]

“Hey guys, it’s starting right now,” said Steel.

[Jjs: About time. It only took more than half the episode of fluffing.]

Rainbow Dash comes out and says,

[SOF: Comes out of where?]

“Greetings bronies, it looks like I’m the opening act, I am Rainbow Dash,” he said.

“But you’re not exactly Rainbow Dash,” said Pakasa.

[Jjs: *cricket chirps*]

[OMJ: I miss that guy and his penchant for stating the obvious in an awkward manner.]

[Metal Snake: No shit-for-brains, he’s exactly Fluttershy.]

[Steel: Thanks for the heads-up, Captain Obvious.]

“Good point…I am Rainbow Dash of SBC, formerly,” Rainbow Dash continued, “Now, this interruption is absurd because I’m a fan and everything, but look what I have to show you,” he said and holds up a box.

[Metal Snake: THE MYSTERY BOX]

[Steel: Oh no, he's going to unveil the embarrassing snapshot of me at the Christmas party!]

[OMJ: So the SBCers in attendance are just not gonna take note of the fact that this Rainbow Dash is also from SBC? It's just that common to randomly run into each other like this without pre-planning it first? Well, this is an SBC lit so I guess so. Shutting up now.]

“Be careful, he could be a deranged maniac who keeps separate heads in that box,” said Ex.

[Jjs: Okay, I'll give props where it's due. That's actually something I could somewhat imagine Ex saying...somewhat.]

[Steel: Oh, and since this is a story about members on a SpongeBob forum, the Lit couldn't just forget to drop in a little SB reference.]

“Maybe,” said Jelly.

[OMJ: Thank you, Jelly, for your morbidly irrelevant opinion.]

“I present you the six Elements of Harmony,” Rainbow Dash. Once he opened it up, it was empty.

[Jjs: Just like the "plot" of this miniseries.]

[Metal Snake: *Gasp* JUST LIKE IN THE SEASON 2 PREMIERE OF MY LITTLE PONY I’M GETTING MY BRONY FANCUM EVERYWHERE]

[SOF: Oh hey, this is an MLP lit. About time we got to the MLP elements...pun intended. Too bad those will also be very underwhelming.]

“It’s empty, what a killjoy,” said Fa.

[OMJ: My joy for this died on arrival.]

[Metal Snake: KILLJOYS, MAKE SOME NOISE]

[Steel:

]

“It’s missing indeed, but not a big deal because everypony is going to-

[OMJ: Hehe, that attempt at a pony pun tho. Or would it be a "puny"?]

“Rainbow Dash continued, until the section of the convention suddenly blacked out, leaving some people screaming.

[Jjs: Looks like the convention owners forgot to pay the electric bill.]

[OMJ: What a bunch of foals.]

[Metal Snake: Hey, I didn’t mean that literally.]

[SOF: Are these screaming people real at all, or just another case of ATTWL 3 cardboard cutouts? Oh jeez, another ATTWL 3 reference...]

All the way back to tvguy and teenj, tvguy says, “Hey, somebody turned off the lights over there.”

Back to the main attraction, OMJ says, “Hey guys, there’s still some light over there.”

[OMJ: Does Mr. Krabs own this convention center?]

[Metal Snake: The dark side of the herd is the dark side of the store.]

Everybody then exited the MLP section until the lights were back on.

“That was just weird,” said SpongeSebastian.

[Jjs: More like boring.]

[SOF: More like lazy.]

[Steel: And that's a bold statement.]

[OMJ: Yeah, but not as weird as WhaleBlubber emailing you, and only you, personally. Don't think I've forgotten that Blubber Seb.]

“Let’s see, we don’t know how the exhibit blacked out like that, but at least we’re all still here,” said Metal Snake.

[Metal Snake: “At least we’re alive! Boring, but alive!”]

[MS: So in other words, nothing happened! Yay.]

“I don’t think so, I don’t see Dragiiin, and so he must have gone missing!” CDCB said.

[Steel: Well...almost nothing.]

[Jjs: FINALLY, something happened! Not a particularly good happening, but it's a start.]

[SOF: IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME, we finally got the plot to start...holy shit.]

[OMJ: Or maybe he went to another panel or maybe the bathroom or he's off wearing square pants and living in a pineapple!]

[Metal Snake: We’re just a little less than midway in, and this is finally the start of the fucking plot. I remember being one of the people who actually got tired of everyone complaining about exposition back in the day. Now I can understand their frustration better than ever.]  

”Oh, the horror!” Deli said.

[OMJ: I remember you two having major beef one time over the fact that he was thinking about calling you a cunt. You're the last person who, I would think, should be worried about him.]

“Going overdramatic, right?” Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick said.

[OMJ: About as over dramatic as spitefully spamming a forum with Pokemon or leaving because nobody voted for you in an internet forum awards show. But, not as dramatic as me having beef with Samoan drug dealers. Hehe, that shit's in a class all by itself!]

[Metal Snake: *facepalm*

These characters play off of each other like SHIT. Deli’s line was corny and bad enough, but hilaryfan80’s reaction is even worse and a poor attempt at self-aware comedy. You realize that Dragiiin has possibly been kidnapped or even killed, right?]

[Steel: You can say that again.]

[SOF: What MS said, this isn't a very good time for jokes...not like this lit ever has good times for jokes, but still.]

“A little test, but this is serious, Dragiiin could be anywhere. If he’s not here, then he’s not in the convention!” Deli said.

[Jjs: Maybe he just got bored of this literature's stalling and went off to spam a place for the lulz like he did in SBCPU S1.]

[OMJ: "A little test" of what, exactly? Our fucking patience?]

[Metal Snake: “If he’s not here, then he’s not in the convention!”

So if he’s not here, then he’s not here? Brilliant observation, Dr. Watson!]

[Steel: ACE DETECTIVE]

“I’m still confused here, whoever took Dragiiin away, and why does it want him so badly?” Steel questioned.

[ACS: Damn you, Dragiiin! Get into my mouth! How dare you disobey me.]

“I think something weird is going on here, starting with the Elements of Harmony,” said Storytime, who was conveniently an attendee.

[OMJ: Or maybe we can start with you popping the fuck out of nowhere. That's even weirder, if you ask me.]

[SOF: Ohai Storytime.]

[Jjs: "Conveniently". Yes, and now storytime shows up out of nowhere despite not being mentioned in the credits at all last chapter. It's like Steel and SOF originally forgot he was the one who started the brony fad on SBC, who would've made a lot more sense to put into this from the start, and just lazily added him now.]

[Steel: Going along with what Jjs just said. This isn't even half of the story on how much time I even spent writing this miniseries.]

“If they were missing before, then they must have been missing before he we got here in the first place.”

[OMJ: Dafuq, mang?]

[Metal Snake: The way these characters talk makes my brain sad.]

[Steel: I don't think you have to worry about trying to assume the gender of the six elements.]

“Storytime7, is that you?” CF asked.

[Jjs: Of course not! Did you see a fucking "7" in his name earlier?! Quit pulling shit out of your ass, CF! And crack a fucking frown once in a while, gosh!]

“I think he is,” said OMJ, “I’m pretty glad to see him here.”

[Jjs: Did OMJ even have an actual conversation with Storytime back in 2011? Why would he be glad to see him here? Serious questions.]

[OMJ: I can, with the utmost of certainty, say that we never did have an actual conversation, therefore, I can say with confidence that I wouldn't necessarily be the gladdest person in the room to see him just about anywhere.]

[Steel: Thanks again, Captain Obvious.]

“And that was some excellent thinking Storytime, you got anything else?” Steel said.

[Jjs: Well so far he has more to offer than all of episode one and more than half of this episode, considering he seems to be the one moving the "plot" along.]

[OMJ: With a name like "Storytime", it must move shit along.]

[Metal Snake: Excellent thinking? He assumed that the Elements of Harmony were missing before they arrived, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to come to that conclusion.]

“Yes, while we ponder on,” said Storytime.

[SOF: Please don't ponder on, just get to the point.]

“Damn, a lot of things strange are happening,” said SpongeSebastian.

[OMJ: Is pointing out all the "strange" shit that's happening your only purpose here?]

[Jjs: Yes, Drag going missing and the convention blacking out sure are "strange". It's not like these things can happen at any ordinary convention.]

[Steel: Thanks for pointing that out.

CAPTAIN

OBVIOUS. *sigh* Does everyone in this Lit sound so straightforward?]

Meanwhile, we then go to ACS’ lair,

[OMJ: I'm sorry, but that just sounded like you interrupted the narrator like-]

[Narrator: MEANWHILE-]

[OMJ: We then go to ACS' lair. It's like something should've been there, happening, during that meanwhile before we got forcefully taken against our wills over to ACS' lair.]

where ACS holds Dragiiin captive. Dragiiin was locked and strapped to a table.

[Jjs: I guess this is one of ACS' kinks.]

[OMJ: You might wanna bound and restrain him as well for good measure.]

[Metal Snake: Is this Cupcakes now?]

[SOF: I hope not...]

[Steel: Unless he's interrogating Dragiiin Gingy style, I'm out.]

ACS walks up to him and says, “Well, well, well. I have kidnapped Dragiiin, SBC’s famous troll.”

[OMJ: That legit sounds like a status he would make.]

“Damn straight, but don’t get your panties in a twist,” said Dragiiin,

[OMJ: If anything, his panties should be straighter than its ever been. This is obviously a huge victory for him.]

“I can easily defeat you and escape, but first, what the fuck is going on here?”

[Jjs: Thank you Drag.]

“Teamwork happens,

[OMJ: What? Stan's gonna show up as a colluder too now?]

[SOF: I hope not, we have enough badly written shamed users in this so far.]

with a dose of friendship…the evil kind,” said ACS

[OMJ: We get it, he's the villain!]

[Metal Snake: To be fair, magic can be evil…]

[Steel: My Little ACS: Evil is Magic.]

and holds up a tiara, “Guess who happens to have an element of harmony, with Rainbow Dash’s help.”

[OMJ: TMI, bro.]

[Steel: Yeah, you better watch it when you're going against Princess ACS.]

“You’re a hater, and I know a hater would have no idea about how the elements work,” Dragiiin replied.

[OMJ: 

] 

[Metal Snake: The line is bad enough, and even worse is how the Elements of Harmony just...work in this world. With no explanation.]

“But I have Rainbow Dash on my side,” ACS replied. “He’s not the only one; I got XTS, World Travel and Goosebumpsfan.

[Jjs: So only ACS, Goosey and Lew.]

[Steel: That's one too many of you, pal.]

[OMJ:

]

Also, prepare yourself for this one.”

[OMJ: Dragiiin's body is ready.]

[SOF: Gee, I wonder what this could be.]

ACS gives out an instant call, revealing an army of anonymous members.

[OMJ: An instant call? Is that some sort of failed social media platform like Tout or Keek? I mean, it's fitting given how out of date ACS can be. The dude still uses a chatzy and forumotion.]

[Metal Snake: Anonymous is in on this?]

[Steel: Did he have to go through the kind of thing where he had to interrupt all those calls too?]

”I also got myself an army of Spambots.

[OMJ: An army of personalities would've more than sufficed.]

There’s more, they will make sure that the new SBC is as messy as possible with spam, enough to be destroyed,” ACS explained.

[Jjs: Oh hey, a reference to the Spambot Invasion of 2011. ACS didn't have anything to do with that though, but clever, I guess.]

[OMJ: Consider Lochinvar lochindropped.]

[Steel: I can imagine it right now. Egg and spam. Egg/bacon and spam. Egg/bacon/sausage and spam. Spam/bacon/sausage and spam....]

“Shit cannot happen,” said Dragiiin.

[Jjs: Shit can happen, even from the best writers, if this story is an indication so far.]

[Metal Snake: We don’t need pics to prove that shit happens.]

“Once my process is complete, I’ll be official as Prince Dark Ruler!”

[OMJ: So once he finally takes a shit, he'll officially become Prince Dark Ruler? That's all I'm getting here.]

[SOF: Prince Dark Ruler? Why does that sound like something out of a bad parody?]

ACS continued, “AND THERE’S MORE!”

[Metal Snake: ACS is a salesman on a TV advert now?]

[Steel: He'll double the offer with the spambots.]

[OMJ: 

]

“Now what the fuck do you have?” Dragiiin replied.

[OMJ: He's already given you the main gist of it! Can you just defeat and escape him already so we can be done with this.]

“With my magic element, I have the ability to make regular bronies from the internet into my slaves,” said ACS.

[OMJ: So would it not work if everybody is meeting each other irl in this lit?]

[Metal Snake: Enjoy being an admin on MLPForums?]

[Steel: How imaginative, but hey, this is my writing from 2011 after all.]

“YEAH RIGHT, SHOVE YOUR “MAGIC” UP YOUR ASS.”

“Okay then. Since you’re trapped like this…”

[OMJ: WHOA! WHOA! DON'T ACTUALLY DO IT! At least not for our virgin eyes to see.]

ACS then makes Dragiiin’s eyes swirl through his magic element, “Be my slave, it’s time to be that!”

[ACS: You are now the amazing CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS!]

[Dragiiin: TRA LA LAAAAAAAAA!!!]

[OMJ: I'm sorry, I've watched that trailer one too many times throughout my cruise days.]

[Metal Snake:  ]

[Steel: Obey Wario, destroy Mario!]

Dragiiin then begins his ill-fated obedience to ACS, “As you wish, my master.”

[OMJ: Ah yes, good ole fashioned brainwashing. The only way ACS can make friends. Look no further than RK.]

[Jjs: ACS being the dominant and Dragiiin the submissive. This could make for an interesting, but fucked up, fanfiction.]

“Perfect!” ACS said, “Now, those SBC members, vengeance against all who don’t respect me!”

[OMJ: Good luck getting vengeance on the entire World Wide Web then.]

“Who even cares, master?” Dragiiin said, “And besides, I don’t feel like it.”

[Jjs: Not even Drag wants to get involved with ACS Cliche Scheme #52545874485.]

[Steel: No surprise since this is ACS villain insert #52545874485.]

[Metal Snake: Lulz, some hypnosis that was if he can talk back to him.]

[SOF: Psh, wow, ACS needs to get better mind control powers. He should try the watch Woahwoah used from the SECC finale.]

“Go out there and destroy them NOW!” ACS replied,

[OMJ: Wait until he finishes his ice cream!]

[Steel: Try lightening up his mood with some bagels tacos.]

“Hmm…if you want punishment, then expect banishment as I throw you in a dungeon in the place I banish you to.”

[SOF: ...What the fuck?]

[OMJ: How this didn't single-handedly kill off the entire SBC lit genre is beyond me.]

[Steel: Hey, if you're an anti-brony ACS, then why are you throwing in a pony reference?]

Dragiiin gives out no reply.

[OMJ: I don't fucking blame you. I can't figure out a snappy retort to that either, let alone a riff.]

[Metal Snake: I also do not blame him. An obscure reference to the MLP show here and there does not an MLP lit make. All it does is just make this feel more awkward.]

Then it goes back to the rest of the SBC members.

[OMJ: I hope to god that wasn't a genuine attempt at a cliffhanger.]

[SOF: Ugh, these transitions are still bad, and they are worded like that for the rest of the miniseries...yay.]

“From what Rainbow Dash was trying to show us, maybe the Elements of Harmony are practically real,” said Storytime.

[OMJ: Then maybe I can pull out an empty box and say God is in it too!]

[Metal Snake: MAYBE they’re PRACTICALLY REAL?! WHAT?! They’re either real in this fictional world or not! MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

W-wait a minute...HOLY SHIT…

It can’t be...bland characters that sound nothing like their real SBC counterparts, characters not speaking like any ordinary human being would, characters not understanding the line between fiction and reality…

...it’s another motherfucking precursor to ATTWL 3.  Why does it feel like everything keeps forcing me to bring up that lit?!]

“I don’t know if I can call that logical, convenient, or expected,” said Ex.

[Steel: Why not alll three - but replace logical with illogical?]

“Or unexpected, whichever way you put it in,” said Jjs.

“Is that real true? Teenj said, “And thanks for dragging us here.”

[OMJ: WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN GOING ON HERE?]

[SOF: Real true? Wut? Did Steel mix up teenj and SOF's lines?]

[Metal Snake: And now it’s a bad 4Kidz dub, I’m not following this. How did Storytime drag them here? They would’ve come whether Storytime asked them to be here or not.]

[Steel: Not sure if this is a compliment or sarcasm. From the beginning, I could tell that tvguy and teenj are the type of characters that want something else better to do.]

“I wonder where those elements could be, they’re assumingly scattered and we don’t know where they are,” said SOF.

[SOF: Wow, not one typo or grammar error in that sentence...come on bland me.]

“What are you guys talking about?” A random attendee asked.

[OMJ: Buddy, I don't think you'd wanna know.]

[Steel: You'd only understand if you were on that stuff that I was on while writing this thing.]

[SOF: Quick random attendee, go away before you get involved in this mess.]

“We’re not talking about anything,” said Storytime. He lied.

[OMJ: Thanks for elaborating. I never would've guessed.]

“It looks like Storytime is nowhere near finding the element of honesty,” said Fa.

[OMJ: And you're nowhere near finding the element of kindness.]

[Metal Snake: HUH HUH HUH HUH BRONY HUMOR THAT’S WHAT BRONIES FIND FUNNY]

[Steel: Message from the future to my past self: how long is it going to take for you to find the element of laughter?]

“If we need to find a source that can help us locate the Elements of Harmony…there’s one place I know,” said Clappy, “THE LIBRARY!”

[Mermaid Man: TO THE LIBRARY, AWAAAY!]

[OMJ: But what's the source that can help you locate the library?]

[Metal Snake: LIBRARY! WE’VE GOT THE DICTIONARY ON CD!]

[Steel: I was thinking we could consult the Great Big Book of Everything. But hey, whatever makes you want to shout it out loud for emphasis.]

With that, everybody appeared in a library, which was about a mile away from the convention.

[Jjs: Yay for convenience!]

[SOF: Man, the transition in this is still awful. They all just magically appeared at the library? Did they teleport or something?]

“Now where is the book that tells us about the Elements of Harmony?” Jelly said.

“I found it!” Wumbo said, “It was under E!”

[Jjs: Because a library in California happens to have a book on the Elements of Harmony...ASS PULL POLICE!]

[Metal Snake: Just when I thought the incorporation of the Elements of Harmony into this plot couldn’t get any worse. It adds to the lulz when you know that in real life, they actually do have books about The Elements of Harmony…

...that are works of fiction.]

[Steel: E for extra convenient.]

[SOF: E for Easy.]

“Nice thinking, Wumbo,” said Steel

[Steel: I never would've guessed it was under E! Somebody give this guy a Nobel Prize!]

[Steel: If you were more story-saavy, you would've figured that out already.]

and reads the book, “Elements of Harmony, blah, blah, blah, magic and friendship is a powerful combination, eh, eh, eh,

[Jjs: Did SOF write this book?]

[SOF: I wish, but this was 2011 when I was too lazy to help Steel properly.]

[OMJ: It sure seemed like he wrote this chapter.]

[DSotH!Steel: too long; didn't read lul.]

and rumors say that the Elements of Harmony in our outskirts are located in Central Park…”

“Central Park is in New York, how does that make any sense?” 70s said.

[OMJ: How does Central Park being in the outskirts of anything make anymore sense?]

[Metal Snake: Things making sense in this story? Oh, you funny man…]

[Steel: Oh 70s...what do you really expect from being inserted into a story that makes no sense whatsoever?]

“Actually, according to my GPS, there is an area like that in San Diego, nicknamed “central park,” said OMJ.

[Jjs: When did OMJ have a GPS? Elaborate, you vile fiend!]

[Metal Snake: Are they in OMJ’s truck right now? This is where details come in handy.]

“OMJ, where did you even find that?” Steel said with surprise.

[OMJ: Well, I was actually in San Diego that year, so genuine coincidence!]

“Found it in a shelf, under G,” said OMJ.

[Steel: G for glaringly, excruciatingly convenient.]

“Random convenience, so little time,” Wumbo added.

[Jjs: Hehe self-awareness...clever. Not. The ATTWL 3 vibes are strong.]

[SOF: And spoiler, there's a lot more of those vibes coming.]

Then, an army of Spambots came in through the ceiling and prepared for attack.

[Steel: And then a skeleton popped out because random convenience.]

“Now what is this?” 70s said.

[Jjs: What is this...what is this...Are you fucking BLIND!? It's an army of spambots coming in through the ceiling and preparing for an attack, dumbass. Seriously, even 70s of all people should know what the hell a spambot is since he used to ban them.]

[Metal Snake: 

]

[Steel: Yeah, I mean, look what we're dealing with here. You got to draw the line somewhere. You gotta draw a line in the sand, dude! You gotta make a statement. You gotta look inside of yourself and say "Why was I willing to rip-off a quote from Game Grumps to try and put up with this?" Well, this miniseries exactly.]

The Spambot army then proceeded by producing advertisements out of nowhere, trying to create a wall.

[SOF: Any ordinary people in this library? Do we care? Nope? Good.]

“It’s like a firewall, but it’s a spam wall!” Storytime said.

[Jjs: *cricket chirps*]

[Storytime: Oh my goooooooooooooood.]

[Metal Snake: “It’s like that firewall joke from The Incredibles, but it’s as funny as an actual wall!”]

[Steel: Thanks for the clarification....once again....

CAPTAIN IF MY NAME ISN'T POINTING OUT THE OBVIOUS ALMOST EVERY TIME.]

“Quick, we need the book,” said Steel, and everybody evacuated the library.

[OMJ: Wow, and without even bothering to check the book out. You couldn't even help the library fend off the spambot attack. I'm sure the librarian would've gifted it for you if you did, but no, just go ahead and steal it. You're all thieves and douchebags. This is who we're made to root for here!]

“Find that park and start searching for the Elements of Harmony,” said Storytime, “Whoever the antagonist, stop him, while I stall these guys!”

[OMJ: Jeez, randomly arrive only to be written off in your first appearance. Still doesn't change the fact you all stole that book and didn't help the goddamn library.]

[Metal Snake: So we’re going with this cliche? With a character we barely know being the one sacrificing himself? May as well have characters we barely know being the ones to save the world. ...Wait…]

[SOF: Wow, what lazy writing. Storytime appears out of nowhere just to be written off out of nowhere...seriously?]

“We’ll do it, but we hate to abandon you,” said SpongeSebastian.

[OMJ: Like you ABANDONED that library! Isn't that something "strange" you should be pointing out?!]

[Seb: I hate complicated choices!]

“Before it’s too late,” Storytime continued, “Maybe you’ll run into more of your friends.”

[OMJ: Poor guy, doesn't even have friends.]

[Steel: And more random conveniences.]

Storytime then begins to be surrounded by the spam wall while the others wander off.

[OMJ: I'm just imagining them casually wandering around aimlessly and without thought offscreen rather than running for their lives.]

[Metal Snake: Lol, they don’t even run away, they just wander off. Really sets the mood of how threatening those spambots were.]

[SOF: So...are they ever going to come back for storytime, or is he gonna die?]

“What to do, what to do,” said Steel. “We have to find those elements quick.”

“No shit,” said Elastic.

[Jjs: We have enough people riffing, we don't need undercover riffers this time, dawg.]

[OMJ: The most contributive thing I've heard from anyone in this group all chapter.]

[Metal Snake: Easily the most enjoyable exchange of dialogue this entire episode...and it’s just a simple retort…]

[Steel: Thanks, I kinda needed a character who's willing to point out the blatant obvious for a piece of literature filled with straightforward dialogue.]

“I say we split up in two groups to find the six elements, think about that,” said Steel.

[Jjs: Uh oh, please don't think about it...please. If we've learned anything from riffing works like these, splitting up is always a disaster.]

[OMJ: Yes, take a moment to sit around and think about that while rabid spambots are out for your blood.]

After a while of thinking about the groups,

[OMJ: Oh my god, they actually did it and it took them a while.]

[SOF: They spent a while thinking while spambots are still on their trail? Those are some slow spambots.]

[Steel: Show don't tell.]

the first one consists of Steel, SOF, Clappy, Metal Snake, Jelly, Elastic, jjs, CDCB, Deli, and Wumbology. The second one consisted of 70s, Ex, CF, Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick, teenj, SpongeSebastian, OMJ, tvguy, Pakasa, and Fa.

[OMJ: Well shit, Steel's team has both the main god characters on it. Rest in fucking pieces my team.]

[Metal Snake: I got put with Jjs, Elastic, and SOF? Wow, Steel knew who I was compatible with back then better than I did.]

“Alright, we now got things settled,” said Steel.

[Jjs: Yeah, now something is actually happening, and it took two chapters out of seven.]

[SOF: It's pretty bad to me if it takes two parts out of a seven part miniseries to start the "plot"...]

“To be quite honest, I wanted to go with OMJ,” said Jelly.

[OMJ: Ah yes, the days when The Threesome and JellyxOMJ were still a thing.]

“I bet everybody else in my group wanted to, now we have to pick the leader,” said Steel.

[OMJ: Was I seriously that favored by everybody back then?]

[Steel: In 2011, I'm highly certain everyone have collectively agreed that every other SBC member was special.]

“I volunteer as the leading critic of Steel’s group; I am the one who’s the Nostalgia Critic here. That right, Steel Phineas?” SOF said.

[SOF: *groans* Why?! My character shouldn't be a leader, someone more mature would've made sense for this role.]

[Jjs: Of course SOF is the leader. Do I even need to bring up ATTWL 3 at this point?]

[Metal Snake: Ha ha ha, TOTALLY not one of the lines SOF asked Steel to put in.]

[Steel: And this is the moment where my fictionalized self actually spoils SOF's fictionalized self by making him leader...]

“Well, that’s a good point, so you’re fine,” said Steel.

[Jjs: No, that's not a good point, but I know you wanted to just move this along already, can't blame you.]

[Steel: I dunno, you may not possess any magical powers or anything, so- Oh, hey guys, he's the Nostalgia Critic! Let's pick him! k now let's go.]

“And I have an idea for picking the lead of our group,” said tvguy, “Raise your hand if you volunteer ExKizuna.”

[SOF: As long as the Ex adaptation curse doesn't continue, sure.]

Almost everybody in the second group picked Ex.

[Jjs: Wonder who the others that didn't raise their hands were.]

[OMJ: Wow, I'm surprised nobody wanted me. I guess if I were in the group, maybe.]

[Metal Snake: We get it, OMJ and Ex were big favorites among members back then. What’s the joke?]

[Steel: I'm surprised half of those hands weren't raised for OMJ, but whatever...]

“Wouldn’t call it lucky, but I’ll do it,” said Ex.

[OMJ: And he's not just saying that because Steel and SOF have a gun on him.]

“Alright then, for the Elements of Harmony, let’s go onward to victory!” Steel said, “And…SPLIT UP!”

[OMJ: GODDAMMIT! IT'S MAKE LIKE A PAIR OF SIAMESE TWINS AND SPLIT...AND THEN ONE OF YOU DIES! YOU SOUND LIKE AN IDIOT WHEN YOU SAY IT WRONG!]

[Metal Snake: It’s “MOVE OUT!”. If you’re trying to mime the humor of TGWTG specials like Suburban Knights, you have to do more than copy dialogue from it. You have to put us in a world where we can jive with jokes like that.]

[Steel: Could've gone with "now let's make like a banana and split."]

There were two different paths. SOF and the others took north, while Ex and the others went right.

[OMJ: Or east.]

[Steel: East? I thought you meant "weast."]

[SOF: Did we go to Norm of the North?]

TO BE CONTINUED…

[Jjs: Hooray, something actually happened. Took a lot of nothing and lame lines, but something finally happened.]

[OMJ: TO BE STALLED...]

[Metal Snake: Holy crap, I can’t believe it’s finally over. These episodes feel so much longer than they actually are. The plot is just so disjointed, the pacing is terribly sluggish, and the dialogue is some of the most boring dialogue I’ve had to endure in a while. Preparing myself for a long ride right now…]  

[Steel: Two parts down, five to go. I'm going to end my suffering by the time I'm done with part 7, so it's a long way ahead. I hope you guys managed to survive past that and that suicide joke in part 4. The story's only going to get even more lazier from here.]

[SOF: This is dragging a lot worse than I remembered. Maybe that's why Dragiiin is in this...bad jokes aside, it slowly moves along, and a lot of characterizations like mine feel very dull. Combining SBC, MLP and TGWTG together is a very strange combo so far, that may have worked in theory, but spoiler, falls flat on its face here. At least the story knows where it's going from here, but even then it still has problems. ACS being the main villain could be interesting, but so far he's pretty dull like everyone else...although let's just say things don't go the way you expect with his plot, and I'll leave it at that. Until then, see ya later.]

 

Edited May 1, 2018 by jjsthekid

[fortnitefan12]

Quote

[OMJ: Well, at least I'm sure Spongetron can appreciate that title because Pink Floyd.]

Thanks for thinking of me   

I loved this riffing more than the last one. I was dying of laughter during this one, awesome riffs everyone! 

[Metal Snake]

Even with hilarious commentary included, it still took me nearly an hour and a half to read both of these episodes again. Normally, when I experience something that initially bored me again, I enjoy it more as I see what everything was building to. With this, I do see what everything is building to...and I don't enjoy it because the exposition is just so bland.

I did finally catch though that Steel breaking into the radio station was a potential Pokemon reference. And even though they actually didn't have BronyCon in San Diego back then, they do now, which is eerie...

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1smBLl_b-QLSrsiM-O9EMkXaXHHSTe2HwngGUh5GB3Xg/edit#gid=0

...that's something, right?

Edited June 6, 2017 by Nick the Wizard

[TJ]

This show definitely has a lot of problems with humor and pacing, but these riffs are at least making it somewhat bearable to get through xD. Great job, guys. 

[SpongeOddFan]

this is great pt 2 riffs, guys.

[Jjs Goodman]

The Dark Side of the Herd

3. Part III

Spoiler

The Dark Side of the Herd Part III

[Fred: Revenge of the Shit-th]

“So where should the first one be?” CDCB said.

[Renegade: I don't knoooow, Davey!]

”I’m no psychic,” said Steel, “I guess this is harder than I thought.

[Metal Snake: Our leader, everyone.]

[Fred: I'm no Superman.]

[Trophy: Already less intense than Metapod vs. Metapod.]

“Don’t say that,” said Wumbology, “I think one of us has to discover one.”

[Renegade: Of course! THEY'RE THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY!]

[Metal Snake: Our supporting characters, everyone.

“We should not follow something like this again it is a trick.”]

”Perhaps we need to be in trouble for an element to be visible,” said Steel.

[Trophy: Yeah, we can totally survive anything coming our way with the powers of friendship!]

[Renegade: True, the Mane Six were in various situations when they discovered their elements, but DOES THAT MEAN YOU CAN COPY THE PLOT OF S1 E1 + 2 IN THAT REGARD?!]

“What kind of trouble could we run into? We can’t keep walking around forever,” said Deli.

[Fred: Watch out for poor grammar and storytelling.]

[Trophy: With this padding so far, we sure golly gee can, and it'd be great to know you all even more while we wait friends!]

“CORRECT…yeah, I got nothing,” said Steel, “What do you got, SOF?”

[SOF: A rock.]

[Metal Snake: Is this a glimpse of the kind of conversation that went on during this story’s production?]

“I see a bunch of trees and a bunch of rocks,” said SOF,

[Trophy: Wow, I was just kidding at the plainness.]

[Fred: And I see the air. And stars too. And the boring....zzzzzz.........plot.....zzzzzzz.]

“I also see an avalanche coming right at us…”

[Fred: Zzz... *wakes up* ...Wut?]

[Trophy: There's the convenient avalanche! Hopefully this one isn't ruined and falls apart under the ownership of the Kroenkes.]

“Oh crap,” said Steel. The falling rocks from the nearby mountain tumble down and block the rest of the path for the first group.

“This is just great; we’re going to keep experiencing these kinds of mishaps!” SOF exclaimed.

[Metal Snake: the fuck that scene what the fuck

First of all, when was it implied they were on a mountain trail? Second, why is every joke in this show so terribly timed? You can not just say, “Oh, there’s an avalanche coming right at us.” out of the blue and expect BIG LAUGHS. The final nail in the coffin is the “OH GOLLY ME” attitude. The underwhelming reaction to a freaking avalanche. There’s no excuse when the source material that inspired this (the MLP episode Dragonshy) did an avalanche scene way better, giving you a sense of suspense and peril. This is total weaksauce.]

“And there’s no escape now,” said an unknown voice, eventually revealing a Spambot, until the mask was taken off,

[Metal Snake: Until the mask was taken off? So taking the mask off transformed him into something else?]

“Yeah, I don’t have spam powers, but I was ordered to stop you.”

[Renegade: Then why are you a fucking Spambot?]

“Who are you and who’s responsible for this madness?” Steel said.

“I am…tvfan95, but I can’t tell you who is making the disaster happen, he is somebody is must not be named,” said tvfan.

[Renegade: ...Is it ACS?]

[Fred: "Somebody is must not be named"? He sounds pretty cool.]

[Trophy: ...Isn't giving any other hints basically doing the same as saying the name at this point in shows like these, except it just delays it further and makes it a drawn out mystery?]

“Are you crazy, why are you working for Voldemort?” Deli questioned.

“Okay, so he ripped that off from Harry Potter,

[Metal Snake: He certainly didn’t rip off that version of the name (SOMEBODY IS MUST NOT BE NAMED) from Harry Potter.]

but he still cannot be named,” said tvfan, “I am forced to obey the orders of my master.”

[Fred: I see tvfan is under Aku's control.]

“Cut that out, you’re being ridiculous,” said Steel.

“Don’t call me out like that, you should give respect to me and the master,” said tvfan.

[Trophy: He says, while being surrounded by a bunch of people who could punch your nuts until they burst and pop like bubbles.]

[Metal Snake: Only the master can call me out like that! ACS IS CALLING YOU OUT TVFAN]

“Okay, so what are you going to do to us?” Elastic said.

“Well, I don’t have any powers, expect for self-defense, so I’ll do just that,” tvfan replied. He then fights with Elastic Dog and starts off kicking him.

[Trophy: Kicking? Ooooh, I wanna do some kicking!]

[Metal Snake: Holy crap, I was genuinely contemplating making a, “But I know karate!”, joke after the “no spam powers” line. Shows how predictable this show is.]

“Should have gotten some weapons,” said Steel.

“Yeah, but now we’re stuck,” said jjs.

“Come on Elastic, kick some real ass,” said Jelly.

Elastic then proceeds beating tvfan some more, and easily defeats him. Elastic then says, “Not a problem.”

[Trophy: Why can't the details be used on actual fight scenes? I know those can be hard af to write, but c'mon man, JCM tried!]

[Fred: I don't think even "You're the Best" would make this fight scene less bland than it actually is. I'm sorry, but bad writing does not exist in this dojo.]

[Metal Snake: Wow, even when these characters are acting tough, they’re as bland as tofu. Though to be fair, there’s plenty of bland, tough food in the world...]

”Is he okay, and if he was controlled by the “master,” should we wake him up from that state?” Jelly said.

“He’ll be alright, maybe he will forget about it once we find all the elements and return home,” said Clappy.

“Excellent work you’ve done,” another mysterious person said, it was Rainbow Dash and Dragiiin on a cloud,

[Metal Snake: He can ride a cloud? Who is he, Goku? I know it’s supposed to be because he’s a pegasus...but the story says he’s not really Rainbow Dash, so what the hell? Unless it’s Dragiiin’s cloud. Now THAT would be funny.]

“But your progress still lands on zero, you make finding the elements pretty challenging,” Rainbow Dash said.

“Hey, it’s that former member from SBC,” said Steel.

“So Rainbow Dash, are you the one not to be named?” SOF asked.

[Metal Snake: SOF is worried about copyright claims from Hasbro.]

“How can I? I can’t hack for shit, but I can work for that,” said Rainbow Dash.

“And it looks like you found Dragiiin, now give him back to us,” said Metal Snake.

[Metal Snake: Lol, of course I’m the one who wants Dragiiin back the most. ] 

“You think I can give the masters’ blessings to you that easily?” Rainbow Dash replied,

[Metal Snake: Dragiiin is a blessing...FROM ACS?! Wow, that is easily up there with one of the most unintentionally offensive things I’ve ever read.]

[Maury: ACS...IS THE FATHER!]

“And besides, he won’t listen to you since he works for the mastermind now.”

[Renegade: Calling ACS a mastermind is a bit too generous, don'tcha think?]

[Fred: I'm still hoping it's Aku. That would legit make a great twist.]

“It’s true, your words mean nothing now,” said Dragiiin.

“How about giving him back by force?” Clappy questioned.

“Go ahead,” said Rainbow Dash, and swiftly leaves with Dragiiin on his cloud.

[Metal Snake: *humming to the tune of Ode to Joy* Anticlimax, anticlimax! Build it up, all for nothing!]

”Damn, and I can’t believe he showed up just to rub it in,” said CDCB.

[Trophy: Well it's villainy 302 to always give a clue or outright reveal yourself to the protagonists, who can overcome you by finding out how to persuade you to the good side and away from those evil, nasty, rotten cookies!]

“Well he’s right that we don’t have any elements right now, I wonder if the second group has at least one,” said Steel.

“I think there’s something familiar about SBC’s Rainbow Dash, if he was compared to the six elements, then he probably represent not one of them,” said Wumbo.

[Fred: Hello, Wumbo! Do you how do?]

[Metal Snake: these are not the sbcers i know especially not wumbo

Where do they keep pulling this backwards-ass logic from?

>Rainbow Dash is compared to the Elements of Harmony

>”He must NOT represent one of them!”

?!]  

“You’re right….how about we make some weapons to help us through and find a way to clear that path,” Steel suggested, referring to the rocks blocking the rest of the way.

“So we have to make something out of wood and rocks?” Wumbo said.

[Trophy: Like a catapult!]

”Pretty much, and whatever else are in this park,” said Steel.

[Metal Snake: Wait, the mountain path is right next to the park? Is the Forest of Death there too?]

[Renegade: Forest of Doom, Snake.]

”And we need somebody with artistic talent and can make them tremendously,” said SOF.

“I have artistic talent,” said Jelly.

[Trophy: That means nothing unless you can actually build shit and be handy with tools.]

“Then let’s get to it,” said SOF.

[Metal Snake: Being good at drawing does not necessarily make you a weapons expert.]

[Fred: Unless you're in ChalkZone, of course.]

“That went by really quick,” Jelly added.

[Renegade: Hooray for non-existent montages!]

[Fred: Rocky must've threatened to sue them for similarity and so they cut out that montage.]

About a half-hour later, Steel, SOF and the others successfully made their weapons. Then they approached the rocks in the way.

“Wait a minute, why didn’t we think of making our weapons before?” Clappy questioned.

[Renegade: USE YOUR BRAIN...OR LACK OF ONE.]

“Well, we were in a rush, and we were too lazy to do it before,” said Steel,

[Metal Snake: Again, I truly do feel like this is a glimpse of what went on during production of this story.]

“and Deli, are you using Muppets as weapons?”

“Um yeah, is that a problem Steel? And besides, it’s a good advantage once you see it,” said Deli.

[Renegade: ...The fuck.]

[Fred: Besides Animal, I don't see how somewhat realistic puppets who talk can be used as weapons.]

[Trophy: How are muppets weapons, is it like an RPG where you threaten to give them muppet blowjobs and the enemies are shocked in disgust, leading to easy attack?]

”Now we smash them into pieces!” SOF exclaimed, and they cleaned away the rocks in the way. The path was now clearer and the group then comes across a very bright diamond.

[Metal Snake: It’s so funny how they don’t even explain what the hell these weapons are aside from the fucking Muppets. I can’t at all envision them smashing rocks into pieces unless they were using giant hammers and one of the Muppets happened to be Mrs. Piggy.]  

“Hey, I see something,” said jjs.

“Indeed, that is the brightest diamond I have ever seen,” said Clappy.

[Fred: Are you blind? That's obviously a volleyball!]

“Um…yeah, may I clarify that this could be a trap?” Steel said.

[Trophy: Who doesn't love a good trap?

  ]

“What are you talking about? It’s just a diamond,” Elastic said.

[Metal Snake: And diamonds can sell for a high price if they’re of good quality. You can’t imagine something like that being used for bait?]

“And is it strange to see a diamond like that in a park?” Metal Snake said.

“There were rocks in this park, and a diamond is considered a rock,” said Wumbo.

[Fred: Thank you, Mr. Geology.]

“Come on, think about it. You could choose the next path, or the diamond, uncertain events, and then the next path,” said Metal Snake.

[Metal Snake: Come on mundane version of me, this isn’t a goddamn Choose Your Own Adventure game! Eerily enough though, I actually did use to have a bizarre obsession with “Choose Your Own Adventure” shit, so I’ll give you points for that.]

“So you’re saying that this diamond is slowing us down? Good thinking,” said CDCB.

“Not what I meant, but let’s just ignore that thing. It doesn’t concern us, we don’t know why it’s laying around there, let’s keep going,” Metal Snake continued.

[Metal Snake: Woah, did Steel just write for me to both say and do something believable at the same time? The world as we know it is coming to an end!]

Then suddenly, a bright light appeared from the left of the group, and it was an Element of Harmony in the form of a necklace.

“Yes, we actually got one!” Steel said.

”I suppose it means generosity,” said CDCB.

[Trophy: Instead of being generous by taking the diamond, selling it, and using the money for good such as charities? That's far more generous, especially if taking the diamond could ruin your quest while you're at it, you're trying to be super good, and therefore get an element to help you so you don't die trying to be a stupid hero.]

“And Metal Snake was probably clever enough to move forward without the diamond,” said Elastic.

[Metal Snake: Ah, good ol’ mundane version of Elastic rubbing my ego.]

”So now I’m Rarity? I thought I was Todd in the Shadows,” said Metal Snake.

[Fred: No, I thought I was Todd in the Shadows! I'm not sure if Metal Snake even reviews music at all. Keep your fucking characters consistent.]

[Metal Snake: Correction, you’re not like Todd in the Shadows in the least, and SOF has dibs on Rarity.]

“Not literally, but you as TitS just means you’re in a costume,” said Steel.

”Heheh, you spelled tits,” said Wumbo.

[Fred: Heheh, you have the sense of humor of a 13-year-old.]

[Trophy:  ]

[Metal Snake: Heheh, the last way Wumbo would talk is like Beavis and Butt-head, uh huh huh huh.]

“Alright then, one element found, five more to go,” said Steel and the group moves on forward

Now it shows the second group, which is lead by Ex.

“The elements are suddenly real and now we’re on this scavenger hunt,” said Ex, “and so far, we found nothing.”

[Metal Snake: What, no cussing or frustrated ranting about this situation? You can’t throw Ex in a stressful scenario like this without his trademark venting.]

“We just started Ex, and you’re the leader after all,” said 70s.

“Do I really have to be part of this mission? I’m not even a bro-“said tvguy.

[Fred: He's not a bro? I think we're looking at a different side of tvguy than we thought. Or should I say.........tvlady!]

“If you want to help, then stay put,” said Ex.

“To be honest, I never really wanted to be in this mission,” said teenj.

“That’s what I said, and of course, everybody else just wants to do this girly business,” said tvguy.

[Metal Snake: You’re doing this for your and everybody else’s survival, it’s not unpaid volunteer work at a beauty shop you prissy pussies.]

”Well, you’re the one who volunteered Ex to be the leader,” teenj replied.

“But that doesn’t mean I wanted to go with him.”

“Does that make any sense? You know what-“

“No fighting!” CF said.

[Fred: Whatever you say, Shakira.]

[Trophy: ]

“She’s right, we didn’t make this group so you two can put aside saving the world and just quit,” said Ex, “Well…if we were saving the world, but it’s not going to get any worse.”

[Metal Snake: Smile. Tomorrow will be worse.]

Just then, darkness was spreading through and filling the clouds.

“Of course somebody had to bring that up!” 70s said.

“Also, are we even prepared? What if Spambots like the ones from earlier show up?” hilaryfan80 said.

“I made some weapons while you guys weren’t looking,” said Ex.

[Ex: Did I say "made"? I meant, I stole some weapons that some other goobers made.]

[Metal Snake: Why is it so easy for them to just “make weapons”?! Even simple things like knives and crossbows can’t just be pulled out of your ass.]

“Okay then. If we’re lucky, we can find an element,” said Pakasa.

[Trophy: Hopefully, you're all put in an ocean full of Francium.]

Then, an army of Spambots appeared marching in their path, preparing for attack.

[Trophy: This is legitimately better pacing than this story:

  ]

“And there they are, get ready for battle,” said Ex.

When the Spambots approached the second group, one of them said, “We’ve been ordered by our master to stop you SBC members; you cannot go any further now.”

“Obviously,” said Fa.

[Metal Snake: If only self-awareness automatically equaled humor…]

“And who is the master doing all this?” Tvguy asked.

[Renegade: ACS! THE LETTERS OF THE DAY ARE A-C-S!]

“We can’t tell you, he must not be named,” said one of them, “Get ready for some spam.”

[Fred: Yum. Spam sounds delicious. Put it in a burger, and yuuuuuuum.]

“Okay then. Well, get ready to die!” OMJ said.

[Trophy: It's not even like I can take this as positive sarcasm, or if he legitimately is a nihilistic, suicidal thrill seeker at this point.]

[Metal Snake: OHWAHAHAHAH COME ON GET DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS]

“Yeah, like what OMJ said!” Ex said and uses his weapon to try and swipe away the Spambots, while some were multiplying, “And just how many of these are there?”

[Fred: Durrrrrrr, 24?]

“I think about OVER NINE…hundred,” said Pakasa.

[Trophy: Might as well just say "Where's that DAMN fourth element" right now while we're at it, get all the meta-2011 humor out of the way right now.]

[Metal Snake: I’d undermine Dragon Ball meme humor with a snarky remark, but I don’t want to step on any of Hayden’s toes.]

“Don’t just stand there…” said Ex.

Then everybody else in Ex’s group start to attack the Spambots. They use their weapons multiple times while the Spambots were multiplying themselves, almost as if it never stops.

[Renegade: Such action. Much intense.]

[Metal Snake: Wait, they used their weapons multiple times against multiple enemies? No, I thought they’d end this fighting scene straight away by killing everyone with a single blow along with the suspense!]

“We don’t die, we multiply,” the Spambots said.

[Renegade: Phrasing.]

[Fred: HERE COME THE HOTSTEPPA]

“Fucking brilliant, leave us alone, we’re trying to find the Elements of Harmony!” Ex said.

Without exhaustion, the group was still attacking the Spambots, until the multiplication stopped and there were about five left.

“We don’t know why you stopped, but this is how it ends,” said Ex.

[Metal Snake: Unless they, you know, had a strategic reason for stopping?]

“Not yet,” one of them said, “Reveal the kraken!”

[Renegade: 

 ]

“What the snarf?” Ex said.

[Fred: I swear to fuck, if he starts talking like Snarf from ThunderCats, imma kill a bitch.]

There was a lake not too close to the group and the Spambots. Coming from the waters was a kraken, ready for attack.

[Metal Snake: Waters? There’s a fucking sea near the park now?! Are they on the beach in Las Ve- no, not worth it.]

[Trophy: Also, how deep are park waters, apparently enough for a kraken to go unnoticed.]

[Fred: Can we call the Ass Pull Police again? Seriously, what the hell?!]

“Is this some kind of test?” Tvguy said.

[Fred: Yeah. What's 2 + 2? And don't say it's over 900!]

[Renegade: A Johnny Te-no, won't go there. Though, it wouldn't be out of place in that show.]

“You guys just have fun,” one of the Spambots said. Then they all left.

[Trophy: They still could've multiplied to give even more help to the kraken.]

“Hmm…cowards,” said Fa.

“That kraken over there is still enraged,” said SpongeSebastian.

“I know,” said Ex, “Guy in the Fry costume, chop off the balls I wish it never had off.”

[Metal Snake: Ex was hoping the kraken would be a female.]

“To me, tvguy kind of looks like Marty McFly that way,” said Fa.

[Fred: I'm sure Sabre would be up your ass right now after that sentence you just said.]

[Metal Snake: A young Mexican kid dressed like Philip J. Fry = 

The resemblance, I do not imagine.]

“But wait…” said CF.

“There’s no time for that CF, we can’t let the Spambots get ahead of us,” said tvguy and proceeds to try and kill the kraken. At the first attempt, he got hit from a whip by the kraken’s tentacles.

[Metal Snake: Ooh, this kraken be kinky.]

[Fred: *insert Devo reference here*]

[Trophy: Since we're going with 2011 memes:

  ]

After that, the other members except CF try doing the same to the kraken; only some manage to attack the kraken.

[Renegade: Wait...they were attempting to whip the kraken with tentacles?]

“Guys, wait…” said CF.

The others still continue to attack the kraken multiple times.

[Metal Snake: Multiple times again? Because we keep forgetting that this isn’t One-Punch Man.]

“I think it’s time to finish it!” 70s said.

“Time for the onion ring doughnuts,” said OMJ.

“We don’t have onion ring doughnuts,” said Ex, “But yeah…”

[Fred: Yeah, but don't you guys have bagels?]

“WAIT!” CF shouts. CF then walks to the kraken and sees an arrow in one of the kraken’s tentacles.

[Metal Snake: Gee, I wonder where this is going…]

“So those Spambots jabbed an arrow on that kraken?” Ex said.

“Now, this will pinch a little bit,” said CF and gently removes the arrow from the kraken’s tentacle. The kraken roars but becomes less violent.

[Metal Snake: Less violent? So it normally causes others less harm?]

“Okay, so CF did what she had to do, now what?” 70s said.

Just then, a bright light appears from above, revealing an Element of Harmony, which represented kindness.

[Trophy: ...But they tried to ki-nvm.]

“Aw yeah, we got one!” OMJ said.

[Metal Snake: VICTORY DANCE!]

[Renegade: Now I see the MLP connection...it goes the Killer Krab route and copies episodes from its source material! Top-notch writing, Steel.]

[Fred: I am tempted to play that Dora song, but I'm not gonna because I have dignity.]

“And it will be my responsibility,” CF added.

“Now we just have to find five more and this will never happen again!” Ex said.

“Hold it, what about Steel and the others? I suppose they found an element already,” said hilaryfan80.

“What do you think this is a race?” Ex said, “I bet they’re doing fine so let’s not worry about them.”

[Metal Snake: Let’s not worry about them because of you betting so? Okay, we’re confident enough in your gambling prowess!]

“I have to ask, how long is this park?” Teenj asked, “I can assume that we’ve nearly walked a mile and a half.”

“I think we’re about a half mile away from exiting the park limits,” said Ex, “Time to get serious again, those Spambots are on that mountain over there, so let’s climb it, in hopes of finding another element!”

[Metal Snake: So they were in the park the whole time. And now they’re leaving it. Shame, I wanted to see them go to the tropical island in the park.]

“Still find this ridiculous,” teenj added.

[Trophy: Oh boy don't feel down, fwiend! We can do this, together!

]

Ex’s group then proceed to climb the mountain and catch up to the Spambots. The scene then goes to ACS for a moment.

“Unbelievable, they found two elements,” said ACS, “But they’ll never find the element of magic.”

“Maybe they will while you’re holding it in your hand,” said Dragiiin.

[Metal Snake: “Not if I keep my hand clenched into a fist!”]

“Get back to work,” said ACS.

[Dragiiin: Aye aye, Mr. Krab--I mean, ACS!]

“As obedience as you wish, you still can’t tell me what to do master,” Dragiiin replied.

“Just do it,” ACS replied and then gets back to his subject, “My plan is nowhere near in failure…”

[Metal Snake: It’s not in failure, it is a failure.]

NOTES:

Metal Snake obtains generosity while CF obtains kindness.

[Fred: Ayy, lookit that.]

[Metal Snake: I’d make a snarky remark about this, but I don’t want to step on any of Jjs’ toes. Overall, I’m surprised. I wouldn’t call this episode “good”, persay, but it was still a huge step up from the massive borefests that were the first two episodes. Very flawed still, indeed, though at least there were enjoyable parts that made me feel like I was reading an actual story and not just an exposition dump. Then again, you can also say that I’m just feeling generous. Uh huh huh huh.]

[Trophy: I'm not sure whether to just be a smarmy asshole on 2011's humor or actually critique this, because really the most I can say is that the length should be put more into the fights than pointless exposition which just serves as unsatisfying padding, when really this could last 4 sentences if it wasn't trying to cram so much unnecessary bs everywhere.]

[Renegade: This was...meh. Still bad, but not too too much.]

 

Edited May 2, 2018 by jjsthekid

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

Awesome riffs, guys.

[fortnitefan12]

Well, at least they didn't go with the obvious and give the Element of Kindness to Metal Snake  

Man, those were some great riffs. I forgot to say this before, but I'm happy to see Metal Snake back doing riffs again.  

[Hayden]

What in the ever-loving snarf was that chapter?

[SpongeOddFan]

5 hours ago, Austin Layers said:

”So now I’m Rarity? I thought I was Todd in the Shadows, said Metal Snake.

no @Nick the Wizard , you're Princess Luna. Although i already called dibs on Rarity, anyways.

Anyways, everyone did great riffs.

[Jjs Goodman]

The Dark Side of the Herd

4. Part IV

Spoiler

The Dark Side of the Herd Part 4

[OMJ: The Final Chapter. Oh, I wish.]

[Steel: A New Hope? Spoiler alert: Like the rest of this Lit, this part is not good.]

[Hayden: There are as many of these as there are Star Wars movies. 4-7 are considered the best Star Wars movies. Not naive to apply that to this lit...]

[Clappy: I don't even blame them for not naming these "parts" to divide them up. This story is so boring that they all just mesh into one giant blob of mediocrity that it's not even worth trying to figure out which part is which.]

The scene goes back to SOF’s group…

[OMJ: Looks like SOF is carrying the badass luggage for this chapter. Yay.]

[SOF: Why did it have to be me? But like I said before, at least I don't have that much of a major presence in this.]

[Hayden: SOF = Still On Fire.

http://i.imgur.com/tyq9bwl.jpg?1 ]

[Clappy: I think I finally figured out the answer to What is Christ? SOF was the answer this whole time with how often he gets given the god complex in his stories.]

[Steel: I've been tempted to try not to point this out, but as far as I'm concerned about SOF's role in the story, I can't really say that I spoiled him that much. Yeah, he's obviously the secondary main character and leader for one of the groups, but I had to give SOF this sort of leadership status, because, you know....he's dressed like the Nostalgia Critic, key figure of Channel Awesome. If that doesn't really add up to why SOF is given this status, that's because it doesn't. At the very least, I didn't give him literal godlike powers.]

“I can’t believe that happened because I rejected a diamond,” said Metal Snake.

[OMJ: Maybe it's because you let it down gently.]

[Steel: Maybe it's because you called her a clod.]

[Hayden: http://i.imgur.com/05zcWd5.gif?1 ]

[SOF: I can't believe I'm riffing this extremely long part.]

“Okay, so where should the next element be? We already have one,” said SOF.

[Clappy: By conveniently pulling it out of your ass like how you discovered the last one.]

[SOF: Well past me, maybe you could try looking since you're the "leader" instead of having to ask the others.]

“I don’t know, it could just randomly pop up,” Elastic said sarcastically.

[OMJ: I don't know why he's saying it sarcastically, it's literally how it's been happening.]

[Hayden: The elements are going to appear much like Legendary Pokemon do when you're going through grass post-game.]

[Clappy: Christ, why even add my last riff if the story is going to "sarcastically" imply it?]

[Steel: We've done countless jokes about how some lines in the Lit sound like our exact responses, but as it seems these characters know too much, and yet they're all in this kind of position to be forced by my fictional self to go on a perilous adventure for Elements of Harmony.]

“You know, I’m bored, and there must be a way to fight it,” said jjs.

[Clappy: See? Even Jjs is trying to fight the boredom.]

[SOF: I don't blame him, I'm bored too.]

[OMJ: God damn, even the characters, especially jjs, couldn't give a fuck less about what they're doing even tho the fate of the world is at stake, apparently.]

[Steel: It's like if even my fictional self forced to make the other fictionalized SBC members keep their silence about how they'd rather hang somewhere else besides, you know....partake in this "perilous adventure," but they decided not to do as directed anyways and remind the audience that they're being held against their will.]

[Hayden: Held against their will? So Jjs is like this?

 ]

“I WAS FROZEN TODAY!” SOF said randomly, “now did that help you erase that boredom?”

[SOF: ...Really!? Why are you making forced Nostalgia Critic jokes at this time? And to answer your question, no, I'm still bored. Fuck off, 2011 SOF.]

[Clappy: I don't know. What other Nostalgia Critic memes can you blurt out randomly in a failed attempt at being funny?]

[OMJ: I don't know, do you mind blurting that out for the rest of this story?]

[Steel: How about this? Elephant *Burger King appears* a Chuck a-Norrissssss, the big lipped alligator moment, bat credit card, ZUUL MOTHERFUCKER ZUUL, TIMING, OF COURSE, ASK ME WHAT IT MEANS, ASK ME WHAT IT MEANS. There, that should keep you satisfied now, wouldn't it!? Since this is 2011, y'all would be all over these Nostalgia Critic gags.]

[SOF: Screaming about something interesting that happened to me makes up for your mundane and uneventful existence in my epic quest.]

“Close enough,” said jjs, “We have to hurry, darkness is spreading through the air!”

[OMJ: *boredom is spreading through the air!]

“Yep, and whoever did this is going to pay,” said Steel, 

[OMJ: Yep. Mmhmm. *sips beer*]

[Steel: You wanna take over the world, it's gonna cost ya,' boo-boo.]

“Let’s see, the next destination we’re approaching is at a pretty long bridge…not what I expected, but we’re going through that.”

[Hayden: Is it rickety and ready to fall apart at any instant?]

[Clappy: Oh my god. These transitions are so forced and half-assed that we are now being narrated about where they are going.]

[OMJ: What did you expect, something even more boring and generic?]

[Steel: Our next obstacle is a hill. We'll just have to go up the hill, then down the hill and we'll still be on our way to defeat the evil forces of ACS.]

“That is unless it belongs to a certain troll,” said Jelly.

[Hayden:  ]

[Clappy: Der her her...she's specifying ACS.]

[OMJ: Oh great, it's this fucking cock block again.

  ]

[Steel: Remember that this miniseries is partially a homage to the Channel Awesome anniversary specials, so we ought to blurt out Nostalgia Critic jokes while we can.

"I'M A BAD TROLL, A VERY BAD TROLL."

Resume.]

“It’s just a bridge-“said Elastic Dog.

“And it says that the river is about nine feet deep,” Steel added.

[SOF: ...What is "it"? What is telling him how deep the river is?]

[OMJ: The biggest threat in this story so far, no doubt. A 9 feet deep body of water with nothing even in it, not even sharks with FREAKIN' LASER BEAMS attached to their heads.]

[Hayden: It's only a threat because...

 ]

[Steel: But you won't really know that the river looks like this, unless you're close enough to falling:

http://i.imgur.com/Q7zWQlg.jpg?1

Now it's a real threat.]

[Clappy: Bridges don't tell you how many feet deep the river is, you know-it-all. Also, nine feet deep? The river is as deep as a community pool?]

“Just watch me,” said Elastic Dog and goes through the bridge. Unfortunately, the steps become loose and fall into the river

[Clappy: Unfortunately?! Not only does this story need editing, but it also needs better use of a thesaurus. Don't you mean "suddenly"?]

[Hayden: Also, *across. Unless Elastic is Danny Phantom now.]

and an expected fog spreads through. “Now what’s going on?”

[Clappy: *points to riff above* Case in point. An EXPECTED fog?!]

[Hayden: You wouldn't be asking what's going on if you expected that fog like everyone else. Read the damn brochure.]

[OMJ: Yeah, who the fuck invited this fog to come along since everybody seemed to expect it so much?]

[Steel: You know, I thought I wouldn't have had to give you guys the image of the exaggerated Super Pitfall trap, but now I remember I can easily reminiscence this scene to another...]

“There’s something touching my shoulder…” said jjs.

[OMJ: Well, you wanted something to help fight off your boredom, you reap what you sow mah boi.]

[Hayden: It's an Onix that will then proceed to make itself into a sturdier bridge for them to use.]

“Well, neither of us are doing that,” said Wumbo.

[OMJ: Well assuming you're right next to the guy, you can't at least tell him who is doing it then? Fucking dick.]

[Steel: Oh boy, the classic "hey, something or somebody is touching me," cliche.]

Elastic was still confused.

[Clappy: You're not alone bud.]

[Steel: At this rate, this dude is pretty much my favorite character in this story so far.]

Then, two shadowy figures approach Elastic, they were revealed to be Hasfarr and JCM,

[SOF: JCM in a cameo.]

[Steel: Yeah, cuz' I certainly haven't used these characters already in UWS and CYPPTF...]

[Hayden: Why call them shadowy figures if in the same line you reveal their identity?]

but not exactly.

[Steel: ...Then who are they? You can't just contradict yourself like that, story!]

[OMJ: Not exactly? What, do they not have faces or something? Paint a picture here!]

[Clappy: Why single out those two? There are many users in this story that are not exactly portrayed correctly.]

[Hayden: So they are imposturds?]

“Hasfarr and JCM, what are you two doing here?” Elastic asked.

[OMJ: I think the better question is, what are they doing together? I can't, for the life of me, ever recall a time where these two interacted.]

[Steel: Unless you guys couldn't tell already, yes, this is derived from the scene where Rainbow Dash proves herself as the element of loyalty when she confronts the Shadowbolts. If this story is about going on a scavenger hunt for the Elements of Harmony, why not take fragments from Part 2 of the MLP series premiere, that's exactly what I did in 2011.]

“Maybe this bridge does belong to a troll,” said Wumbo.

[OMJ: Now let's not jump to conclusions yet, as unnecessary and somewhat spammy this bridge is.]

[Hayden: That troll made a bad investment.]

[SOF: I wish the "troll" had been Discord, because that'd make this story a little better.]

“I guess not, but it could be a trap and Elastic must not fall for it,” said SOF.

[OMJ: 2011 sure was a crazy time! Ahhh, those were the days when SOF would make more of a point than Wumbo.]

[Clappy: Seriously. Every time I see SOF or Steel be the voice of reason in this story, I just want to tear out my brain stem, carry it into the middle of the nearest four-way intersection, and skip rope with it, then go on riffing what I'm reading now.]

“Look, I’m on a quest to “save the world,” which is unexpectedly real,” said Elastic.

[Elastic: And if you couldn't tell already, I'm in this Lit even though I never agreed to being a part of this....]

[OMJ: Alright, how could the fog be expected, but not this whole "save the world" schlock that has been somehow in some way building up for three whole episodes up til this point?]

[Clappy: ...the world? THE WORLD?!?!! Exactly when did this story imply that the entire world was in danger?!?! Was it amongst the endless amount of nothing that happened in the first two parts!?!?! Hell, I even reread the third part and I saw nothing life threatening let alone world endangering. Seriously story, fuck the hell off.] 

[Hayden: The world revolves around SBC. We're special people.]

“But we have an offer you might agree with. You’re an original SBM member, 

[OMJ: Oh yeah! Elastic was originally from SBM and he, at first, joined SBC just to spam it. 2010-2011 sure was fuckin cuh-razy!]

[Clappy: An original SBM member? By those technicalities, nearly everyone in this story is an original SBM member. Hell, even I was a SBM member before joining SBC.]

[Hayden: I wasn't! Maybe pure SBC-ists are excluded.  ]

[Steel: Your main (glorified) protagonist also joined SBM beforehand, so there's apparently bigger fish to fry, pal.]

and we have special praise to cater you with,

[Clappy: Who in the nine hells...]

[SOF: Who is this "we" you speak of?]

so you can ditch your other friends and come with us,” said “JCM.”

[Clappy: ...talks like this?]

[OMJ: So did Steel and SOF just pick out two schmucks from catering and gave them the "roles of their lifetimes"? But on the realsies, I'd go with them. Wouldn't want that special praise to go cold and these caterers are working on the hour.] 

“Well, those guys are bronies and you guys are not,” said Elastic.

[Clappy: Thank you for that illogical, yet somewhat discriminatory reasoning.]

[OMJ: That's just discriminatory.]

[Steel: And your point is...?]

[Hayden: His point is that bronies are actually sissies.]

“Who cares about this pony craze? We have something better

[OMJ: Oh god, is this gonna be the Mini Member fad or the potato fad?]

[Clappy: I'm preferential to the SBM is trash fad.]

[Hayden: All fads are bads.]

and you must join us, we promise we’re not doing anything evil,” said “Hasfarr.”

[Hayden:  ]

[OMJ: I say you can trust him, since he was obviously a well-known member that contributed so much to the site before he vanished! Now if you wanted an obscure member up in here, I would've preferred our resident badass Hassan instead from SBC*holds nose*PU Season One! Some of that could've rubbed off here because boy, do we need it.]

[Clappy: Do ho ho ho, they are so going to do something evil...seriously, is it the point to make everyone else out to be massive dumbasses or boring as tar except for primarily SOF and Steel? Because it sure feels that way so far.]

[Steel: >"You can ditch your other friends..."
>*Comes out of the shadows*
> *The other SBC members try to convince Elastic that he's in the middle of a trap.*
>"We promise we're not doing anything evil."

Is Elastic, one of the most self-aware characters in the story, going to think about the decision he's going to make? Okay then...]

“Is that it?” Elastic replied.

[Hasfarr: You bucket of bolts!]

[Clappy: Unfortunately, it's not over yet my dear elastic canine. I'm not even past page two on Microsoft Word and I'm bored out of my fucking mind.]

”We got all sorts of fun things we can offer you, and you won’t worry about a thing anymore, what do you say?” “JCM” said.

[Hayden: Act now and they'll throw in a free letter jacket!]

[OMJ: Jeez, are these guys riding around in a van offering free candy too?] 

[Steel: I dunno, but they come off as drug dealers to me. Don't listen to them Elastic, real suburban adventurers don't do drugs.]

“Please don’t do it,” Clappy hoped.

[OMJ: Well shit, if you're within earshot of them, why don't you try at least telling him not to? But if this really were E-Dawg, he'd have the brainpower to not be fooled so easily anyway unless he's just entertaining the idea of joining them just to fuck with em.]

[Clappy: Seriously? I hoped? Why don't you fucking do something about it, you ball-less interpretation of me?]

[Hayden: It's just your innocence, Clappy. Embrace it.]

[Steel: "Dude, have you ever thought, like the rest of us, that this is a trap? I'm only hoping that you'd make a dumb decision since the author doesn't want me to do something useful."

The fact that I had to sum it all like this pretty much sums up my old self's lack of aims to give the rest of the cast any real depth. Gosh, why can't this miniseries just end already and the other half of it didn't retroactively exist? If you want to give the other SBC characters a significant role here, at least make them feel more like than they're just your entourage.]

“Duh, do you really think I can fall for your tricks, even if you are Hasfarr and JCM?” Elastic said,

[Clappy: The amount of times I can picture Elastic saying things this remotely realistic = 0.]

[Steel: If you wouldn't ever be dummied into accepting their ruse, you could've made the decision to bail earlier.]

“So yeah, the deal is off.”

[OMJ: The Dimma-Deal is Dimma-DONE.]

[Hayden: http://i.imgur.com/15FKrRW.png ]

After that, “Hasfarr” and “JCM” fade away 

[OMJ: Damn, they have better transitions than the actual story does.]

[Clappy: OMJ beat me to it. Although to be fair, PowerPoint transitions are only one step above the transitions we've been getting in this story so far.]

and the fog subsides while Elastic proceeds by fixing the bridge.

[OMJ: And everybody else just stood around looking pretty, I guess.]

[Clappy: Yes, because an "at the time" thirteen year old is a master at construction work.]

[Steel: What can we do without Elastic the handyman, fellas?]

[Hayden: *as Elastic crouches down and hammers the bridge back together, the part he's crouching down on breaks and he plummets into the water never to be seen again*]

“That was freaky, but we’re proud for you Elastic,” said CDCB.

[SOF: Oh hey CD, you still exist in this story. I wouldn't blame people if they forgot, because the amount of lines the others get is lacking.]

[OMJ: That's right, everybody shift your pride over to the most productive mothafucka in this group.]

[Hayden: Is Elastic now leader instead of SOF?]

“Yep, I can go for you guys anytime,” said Elastic.

[OMJ: Pause.]

[Clappy: What the fuck does that even mean?]

[Hayden: It means he's willing to die for them.]

[Steel: You would be down for SBC members....for what exactly? I paraphrased what Claps already said, but again, what kind of sentence is this?]

Then, another bright light appears, and reveals another Element of Harmony, which represented loyalty.

[OMJ: Well there you go. Another element of harmony has randomly popped up for the guy being sarcastic about it earlier. This gag has finally come half circle.]

[Hayden: All Elastic had to do was defeat shadows to fulfill the foreshadowing.]

[Clappy: Yeah, it's sentences like these that show how little I actually paid attention to continuity in My Little Pony as a whole. Because while I did think it was a cute show, this not only represents mixing SBC with My Little Pony is not only an absurd idea, but one that can't even begin to be taken seriously. I know I can't take that last sentence seriously. How about you all?]

[Steel: The Convenient Side of the Herd strikes again.]

“That was easy,” said Wumbo.

[OMJ: Yeah, it's not like you did all the work to obtain it.]

[Hayden: As easy as pressing a button.]

[SOF: http://i.imgur.com/0Dgmhnu.jpg?1 ]

“Looks like that Elastic’s the loyal one,” said Steel.

[OMJ: Get it?! Cuz he's a dog and he's loyal! I see the underlying themes here, mah bois! I see you!]

[Clappy: Woof.]

[Steel: Such a good boy.]

[Hayden: So does that make everyone else in the pack disloyal and unpredictable?]

“Congratulations Elastic, you’re Rainbow Dash,” said Jelly.

[OMJ: God fucking dammit, how the fuck many Rainbow Dashes are there gonna be in this story?!]

[Clappy: He's Rainbow Dash. You're Rainbow Dash. I'm Rainbow Dash. Are there any more Rainbow Dashes I should know about?!]

[Rainbow Dash: Danger's my middle name. Rainbow 'Danger' Dash.]

“Like Metal Snake said before, it’s not like I’m really her or anything,” said Elastic, “but I wonder if I can do the “sonic rainboom” with this necklace.”

[OMJ: Could you please demonstrate to the Riffing Theater and destroy what's left of this chapter? And if this sonic rainboom truly is nothing destructive like I think it is, then you know how empty and shallow my supposed fandom for this show was at the time.]

[Hayden: I'll demonstrate if it destroys what's left. 

http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/f/f0/Rainbow_Dash_performing_a_sonic_rainboom_S1E16.gif

http://www.picgifs.com/reaction-gifs/reaction-gifs/my-little-pony/picgifs-my-little-pony-5411464.gif ]

[Clappy: Okay, stop. Seriously. Does ANYBODY...and I mean anybody...think for a single second that Elastic would actually wonder if he has the powers of a cartoon pony. Any of the other riffers? Any of the members reading this? Any of the bots viewing this topic from Google? Any of the miscellaneous guest viewers? Any otherworldly powers or beings? Good lord, am I so sorry to what I said about Steel's interpretation of other users in Underwater Survivor back in early 2015. This is ten times worse.]

[Steel: I'd also like to apologize on behalf of Malelimin and all those other random UWS OCs, for a miniseries as shallow as DSotH, it would've been more deserving to have you guys dragged into this.]

“Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it appears that Jjs is missing too. I can’t find him anywhere,” said SOF.

[OMJ: Ehh, he's probably off helping revise this chapter for you.]

[Clappy: Wow, you are sure taking the news of one of your best online friends missing rather lightly.]

[SOF: Sucks to be jjs, because apparently I'm the only one to care so far. Something also tells me my character didn't do a good job looking.]

[Steel: And here's Bad Timing SOF giving us the wake-up call.]

[Hayden: I'm telling you, he went on ahead with his pal Onix and they are having crazy adventures together.]

“Oh no, we must have lost him while the fog appeared, so somebody must have dragged jjs away from us, poor guy,” said Steel.

[OMJ: And this poor guy was also still one of your admins at the time, so this should be raising more of a red flag than just talking smack about the staff.]

[Clappy: And you are generalizing this disappearance extremely well. Who's to say one of you two aren't that somebody?]

[SOF: I should also note this whole "a user being separated from the group" plot is reminding me of ATTWL...not 3 thankfully, but still, you can tell Steel and I were also trying to copy that story's success to an extent.]

“I think we’re almost at the end of this park, now what?” Metal Snake said.

[OMJ: Find your admin/one of your best online friends, you fu-]

[Hayden: *kicks Metal Snake off bridge, much to Tron's horror*]

[Clappy: Wow, seriously? Your two god level characters are making themselves out to be the concerned ones at the expense of making everyone else out to be ignorant to the disappearance of one of your site’s admins. Fuck off.]

“Whatever happens to us, we get an element, so to be sure, if we’re standing still, we might find an element without making a budge,” said Clappy.

[OMJ: Alright, 1.) Elastic legit worked to get that last element of fucking harmony and it didn't just pop up randomly because the rest of you blokes just stood by and did nothing. Stop fucking misconstruing that! These are the people we're supposed to fucking root for here.

And 2.) Your fucking admin, one of your best online friends and mine's, has just went missing! Did everybody back then just not care if jjs were to completely not log in ever again? These are the people we're supposed to fucking root for here!]

[Clappy: ^This. Just this. What else am I supposed to say except everyone else is just being written horribly at the expense of making Steel and SOF look that much stronger.]

[Steel: Only my fictionalized self in this story wouldn't bother making a change of plans and keep focus on finding the elements. If Jjs ends up being dissected by ACS or torn up by a coyote during the mission, that's his fault.]

“Yes, and budge rhymes with fudge!” Deli said.

[OMJ: These are the people we're supposed to fucking root for here!]

[Single-Minded Deli: http://womenwriteaboutcomics.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/tumblr_np484oMbt51rgvfxho1_500.gif ]

[Clappy: Fudge off.]

[Steel: Now's not the time to be making half-baked MLP references.]

[Hayden: We've established that fudge and elements are more important than Jjs' well-being, so once we have some fudge and all seven, we can go back for Jjs' body.]

“Wait, there’s some guy over there,” said Steel, and the group walks up to him.

[OMJ: Awfully trusting for a bunch of Internet people who almost got by two...things posing as their fellow members.]

[Steel: Oh, Convenient Side of the Herd, you never let us down with your unexpected plot turns!]

“Is there any way further? We’re trying to find the Elements of Harmony,” said Steel.

[The rest of the group: And Jjs.]

[DSotH!Steel: Who?]

[OMJ: Alright, if a bunch of neck beards came up to me randomly in a public park and laid that shit down on me, it'd be the only thing I would talk about for years. And maybe even pass it on down for future generations.]

[Hayden: The problem with DSotH Steel is that he leaves massive amounts of information out when approaching people. So he's either being daft or doing it intentionally or some combination and it makes him loathsome.]

[Clappy: Okay, I know I've beaten the editing of this to death, but seriously. If someone came up to me at a park and asked that last sentence above, I wouldn't be distracted by the absurdity of the Elements of Harmony actually being a real thing. No, I would wonder what the hell does someone mean by "is there any way further". Any way further to where? What the fuck do you even mean?]

“I saw some people walking up that mountain over there,” the person

[Hayden: But was one of them lanky with dark hair and brown eyes?]

[OMJ: Oh great. Look guys, Person is here! Got any thoughts on how SpongeBob is doing now with Hillenburg back in the fold, you fu-]

said and then turns around, “I’m Sabre, I don’t know why I’m here though.”

[Clappy: I'm sorry, but Sabre brings up the most logistical sentence in this story. Why the fuck are these exact people inserted into this story? No seriously, actually stop and think about it without reading any further. If there are a limited amount of people who can get these elements, why are the other twenty or so people here? To be cheerleaders? To say one or two things and be completely forgotten about? To make SOF and Steel look like rockstars?

On a related riff, who the fuck would actually introduce themselves as their username? Because I know I wouldn't go up to some random schmo on the street and say, "Hi, I'm Clappy."]

[OMJ: Oh great. Look guys, Sabre is here! Got any new Beatles albums or another new chapter to post for Adventures in the Underground City, you fuck? But seriously, I could really use the latter.]

[Steel: I don't even know how else I should even respond to this. FOR WHAT REASON IS HE OUT HERE OTHER THAN BY SHEER COINCIDENCE?]

[Hayden: He had a vision that he'd need to go out to that exact spot and stand in place.]

“Nice to see you Sabre, you want to join us?” SOF asked.

[SOF: Wow 2011 SOF, in addition to being boring and having oddly perfect grammar, you also seem willing to let any random person you see join your group. I also love how Sabre, much like storytime, appears out of nowhere in this story. Why didn't we just include them from the start? Ugh.]

[OMJ: You definitely won't have a strong chance of going missing and not being cared about afterwards if you did. If anything, they'll just replace you like you're Lotso in Toy Story 3. Great, now I have a sequel for this in mind where all the surviving stupid idiots here come upon a new SpongeBob forum called SpongeySide that's ruled by jjs with an iron fist.]

[Jjs: "Where's your SpongeBob NOW, Sponge of Steel?"]

[Steel: I'll make a note of that.  ]

“You guys are bronies, right?” Sabre questioned.

[Steel: What gave it away for you? The first thing you would notice is that they're dressed like internet critics.]

[Hayden: Is that the deciding factor in whether you tag along?]

“Of course we are,” said Clappy.

[Clappy: Oh yeah? You and how many of your "friends"?]

[Clappy: Of course we are!

http://i.imgur.com/j3WV5Fd.jpg?1 ]

“Good enough, I’m in,” said Sabre.

[OMJ: You hear that, any potential abductors and kidnappers out there? If you say that you're a brony, you're golden!  ]

[Hayden: But they didn't do the secret special brony handshake.]

[Steel: Clearly, he hasn't read through our terms and conditions.]

“Still, I wonder what happened to Jjs,” said Steel.

[OMJ: Well it's about damn time somebody brought that back up-]

[Clappy: ...SEE!?! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I JUST RIFFED ABOUT.]

[Hayden: Sabre will fill the head count back up and they'll forget entirely. Watch.]

[Steel: And here's Delayed Reaction Steel acknowledging this current issue.]

“Well, there’s no time to lose and we got to climb that mountain,” said Elastic.

[OMJ: ...And THIS is supposed to be the LOYAL one?! Get out of my sight, all of you!]

[Clappy: Is there a way to revoke these harmonies because this Elastic sure is loyal...a loyal asshole.]

[Steel: It beats me having the Element of Loyalty tho.]

[Hayden: Why do you need to climb the mountain if Elements of Harmony come to you at a whim?]

Meanwhile,

[SOF: http://i.imgur.com/22AoE0d.jpg?1 ]

[Clappy: Meanwhile, these transitions still suck.]

it shows Jjs inside ACS’ lair.

[Clappy: ...HOW!?!?! No seriously, how in the hell did this happen? Jjs said something is touching his shoulder and then he just randomly shows up at ACS's lair? Good fucking lord. This story...you know what, fuck this. This is a cartoon. Because nobody and I mean nobody can just bend logical whim this impossibly. How else can you explain such shitty transitioning? Such one dimensional characters? And especially, and actually continue reading this, such a cartoonish villain. Because ACS up to this point and for the rest of this story, is such a cartoonish villain. Because who else would have an evil lair except a cartoon villain?]

[OMJ: So if I get angry more often, will the story continue to bend to my whim? Cuz I like thinking that I have that power.]

[Hayden: Where is this lair? Are we talking secret bunker, ominous castle, or sitting atop a volcano?]

ACS himself approaches Jjs.

[OMJ: No, not Darris or World Travel or JD nor Felix. This is true blue ACS in all his 12 year old glory. So basically what we still get from him til this very day.]

“I knew it; you’re the one making all this mess, are you?” Jjs said.

[OMJ: Who else could it be? Ever? No matter what timeframe any lit is set in?]

[Steel: I never would've guessed either.]

[Hayden: ACS is getting himself all over the floor and Jjs just vacuumed.]

“Of course I am, and I had some help,” said ACS, “now, I could explain the main thing to you, but I want you to do something for me. First, look behind you…and now look back at me…”

[SOF: *sigh* Can this story get any dumber? (Spoiler: It can)]

[Clappy: ...or you could just...you know...not listen to him.]

[Steel: Yet another dated meme reference. God knows how many people got old of that Old Spice joke.]

[Hayden: Is he going to switch into another personality while Jjs is not looking?]

“Wait, what are you trying to do?” Jjs said.

[ACS: Here I have two tickets to that thing you like. THE TICKETS ARE NOW DIAMONDS! I'm on a plane.]

ACS then uses the element of magic to hypnotize Jjs, “Now, what you will become is totally different, and you’ll be known as Dr. Insano from this day forward. 

[OMJ: I mean, if there's a Doc Hunter, this ain't too far from it.]

[Clappy: Haha, get it? Because that's a TGWTG character. Good lord, there have been more TGWTG callbacks than there has been My Little Pony references.]

[SOF: That's your evil plan? Hypnotize jjs into being a TGWTG character? Huh!? Why not hypnotize him into being a MLP villain, to fit the original theme?]

[Steel: What do you know? Jjs really does turn into Dr. Insano because....why not?]

[Hayden: More like Dr. I Say No. ]

Also, you will find the SBC members and take away the elements you can find, bring them back to me when you’re done.”

[OMJ: Uh uh uh! You weren't specific enough, he's probably gonna come back with a rock, a cup of watermark, a candle, and one of those mini fans!]

[Clappy: As someone who doesn't watch My Little Pony anymore, and someone who does please feel free to let me know if I'm right or wrong, but I would think any sort of element would be not that easy to just simply take away.]

“Yes sir…” said Jjs.

For a few minutes, Jjs was starting to become Dr. Insano until it was complete.

[OMJ: Uncanny. 

http://i.imgur.com/yvWfyrR.png?1]

[Hayden:  ] 

“Yes…now find those SBC members and make them pay, don’t forget about the elements,” said ACS.

[Clappy: All that's missing is a maniacal laugh and ACS's transformation into a cartoon character would be 100% complete.]

[OMJ: Yes, and forget everything that made you blend in with the rest of the crowd by becoming generic villain #2! Character development at its finest.]

[Hayden: So did ACS even think to tell Jjs to just act normal and infiltrate the group? Or is "Dr. Insano" just going to take on 20 people? .....Nevermind, none of them would move as Jjs snatched the elements.]

[Steel: I guess the story really wants to give so much focus on the MacGuffins. So, apparently SOF's group can go on without Jjs, but no one must forget the Elements of Harmony.]

Then it comes back to SOF’s group.

[OMJ: I'd rather not.]

[Clappy: Okay, this might just be the worst transition yet. What a way to kill any sort of attempt at building upon a crucial moment in your story with what just happened to Jjs.]

“I’m having a thought he will become Dr. Insano,” said Metal Snake.

[Steel: Whoa dude, it's like you just predicted the future.]

[SOF: Apparently 2011 MS was secretly a psychic, good to know.]

[OMJ: Jeez, the insanely accurate conclusions everybody in this story can come to. He could've been fucking flayed alive for all you know, and here you are cracking TGWTG jokes. I mean, it could've happened! That transformation sequence was as vague as all our futures.]

[Clappy: ...okay, fuck my riffing. Apparently building upon your crucial story moment is by having Metal Snake become a psychic and knowing exactly what happened to Jjs. Because now...AND JUST NOW...does Metal Snake care about the whereabouts of Jjs. When last time I checked, Metal Snake's last line was how he was excited about getting out of a park.]

[Hayden: Damn Luke, That is So Raven.

 ]

“Sure he dressed like Spoony, but that doesn’t mean that he will be Dr. Insano,” said Steel.

[OMJ: Oh, that's an actual TGWTG thing? That's what I get for not fucking with Channel Awesome's midcard.]

[Steel: Yeah, like it couldn't POSSIBLY happen unlike when it happened not too long ago, right?]

“Hey, I think I can see Ex’s group above us, and we’re at the beginning of this mountain,” said Clappy.

[OMJ: Or, ya know, at the bottom.]

[Clappy: What good eyesight you have. How many fingers is he holding up?]

“You know, finding the Elements of Harmony is pretty tiring and we could deserve something else,” said Wumbo.

[OMJ: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN DO TO DESERVE ANYTHING? Goddamn, way to make Wumbo here one of the most unlikeable fucking asswipes you could ever find in any SBC lit. You wanna know what's REALLY unnecessary and somewhat spammy, this interpretation of Wumbo!]

[Clappy: Not just that, but "we could deserve something else"? Deserve what!? A cookie!? A better fanfiction!? NORMAL PEOPLE DON'T TALK LIKE THIS LET ALONE WUMBO.]

[SOF: Deserve what, something actually related to My Little Pony? I seriously don't understand this story sometimes. Also Wumbo, if you're that tired, feel free to take a break any time and let the others do it, since I doubt you'll be important.]

[Hayden: For all the errors of this concept and its circumstances, shouldn't a brony be happy to be doing this once in a lifetime mission related to something he's passionate about? Wumbo deserves a slap in the face.

http://31.media.tumblr.com/0d334211f007132e349423053db6fc7a/tumblr_mrovypjCs21sck82vo1_500.gif ]

[Steel: ...I'm not mad, but I am annoyed with the unintentional self-awareness right now.]

“Obviously, our celebration time comes later, so let’s keep moving!” SOF said.

[OMJ: Oh you did it. You guys fucking did it now. I wanted to give y'all the benefit of the doubt, but it seems that I was wrong. You really did give yourself more character at the expense of another, didn't you? I can go on with my running joke about SOF making a lot more points than Wumbo back in 2011, but this needs to be addressed because I just love dat wumbooty that fucking much! It's almost as if you switched Wumbo and SOF's dialogue immediately in post. You took one of the best things about 2011, at least to me, and you brought him down to your level! It's like that one CatDog episode where they were fighting over who gets to keep all their brains and smarts except Wumbo now isn't literate enough to fight back! It disgusts me! Get out of my sight, all of you!]

[Clappy: Seriously. Making SOF look strong at the expense of Wumbo is such unrealistic character development (or whatever this story wants to call it because these people are not even characters) because I can seriously picture these two being switched backwards, with SOF being the one that wants to cop out and do something else, while Wumbo wants to continue forward.]

[Hayden: Yeah, not gonna lie, SOF tends to be the flighty one who would go "meh" at the thought of having to extend effort.]

[SOF: Seriously, it feels like we swapped Wumbo and old SOF's lines here.]

Then it goes back to Ex’s group…

[Steel: Okay.]

[OMJ: Oops! I did it again!]

[Clappy: And then. Fuck off.]

[SOF: Then this, then that...]

[Hayden: I guess Jjs wasn't able to teleport back to finish that plot point yet.]

“Damn, this mountain is really steep,” said tvguy.

[Steel: Good to know, and large bodies of water are deep.]

[OMJ: I wouldn't expect anything less from a freakin' mountain.]

[Clappy: But this is also coming from the same story that thought the deep river was in reality as deep as my community pool. Also, I was apparently able to see a group of people on a mountain from a far distance, so maybe that mountain was in reality a hill.]

“No shit, we should catch up to the Spambots…by now,” said Ex, and rests from exhaustion.

“Ex, you don’t want to sleep during our important quest,” said CF.

[OMJ: Ah 2011. A time when nobody had anything else going on for them!]

[Clappy: Sleep? What is sleep?]

[SOF: Didn't Ex stay up really late for some All-Nighters? Pretty sure sleep would be his last concern.]

[Hayden: Have they camped out for the night? At all? Oh well, easier time for the Spambots when they have no energy.]

“I know, those Spambots are probably up to something, but that’s not going to stop me,” said Ex. Eventually, Ex’s group find the Spambots again. 

[OMJ: How inconveniently convenient.  ]

[Clappy: Okay, these conveniences aren't even convenient anymore. No wonder the character development sucks because who wants to feel anything for these characters and what happens to them when you can just shove plot points right at them?]

[Steel: Yeesh, how many more conveniences until this Lit wins a prize for its 1,000,000th butt pull?]

Ex then says, “We meet again…”

[Evil Emperor Zurg: FOR THE LAST TIME!]

“So you can make it this far…” said one of them, “Be extra careful not to trip and fall…”

[Clappy: Or you might get a boo boo.]

[OMJ: Well, at least these spam bots care about the well beings of the people that they spam without remorse.]

[Steel: Thanks for your politeness....spambot.]

[Hayden: I get the impression that spambot isn't being sincere about that warning.  ]

“Right, but there’s no way you can make me do that,” said Ex.

[OMJ: Not even...SPAM??!?!!!?!]

[Hayden: Ex is going to trip over the spam in his sleep exhaustion.]

“Now let’s prepare for a fight,” said one of them.

[Clappy: Minor nitpick here, but it is very annoying when stories say things like this when it's so obvious a "fight sequence" is going to happen.]

[OMJ: Let us Kung Fu fight!]

[Steel: MORTAL KOMBAAAAT!]

[Hayden: Do they wish to engage?]

“Okay, but it looks like you guys will be the ones falling from this mountain, said Ex, but spoke too soon when the Spambots were revealed to have guns.

[OMJ: Holy shit, never bring guns to an Internet fight!]

Clappy: WHAT WHAT WHAT!?!? I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS...allow me to elaborate why I'm not mad, but baffled by this. THIS IS A MLP/SBC FANFICTION. There is a difference between stories, like ATTWL: A FUCKING MURDER MYSTERY, that you would expect weapons to be used, and stories like something that includes MY LITTLE FUCKING PONY and AN INTERNET COMMUNITY THAT IS DRESSED UP LIKE INTERNET CRITICS that for some reason, decided we need weapons involved. What in the hell were Steel and "SOF" thinking?]

[SOF: To add onto Clap's riff, why do the spambots even need guns? I thought all they needed to do was spam us to death with their advertisements?]

[Hayden: http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/863/036/113.gif ]

“Oh crap, they have guns,” said SpongeSebastian.

[OMJ: I can hear that so vividly in that monotone, nasally tone he would always use to announce the SBC News.]

[Steel: What did you think they were going to be carrying, supersoakers?]

“Kill them all!” Ex exclaimed and uses his sword to swipe away the Spambots.

[OMJ: Okay Governor.]

[Steel: For Narnia!]

[Hayden: Foolish Samurai Ex.

http://i.imgur.com/51mrnaD.png?1 ]

The Spambots use their same strategy to multiply more Spambots. 

[Spambots: MUL-TI-PLY!

 ]

[Hayden: That's a lot of Spambot Jex.]

The other members then proceed to fight off the Spambots while dodging the bullets. 

[OMJ: I bet none of you can even play a goddamn sport, let alone fight and dodge bullets.]

[Hayden: It's true.  ]

The members were still hacking 

[OMJ: But I thought 2011 was the time when nobody could hack, yet we still got hacked anyway.]

and slashing away while the Spambots were still working up for their disadvantage, the luck in defeating them is in-between at that point.

[OMJ: So it's a pretty even fight now, in lame man's terms?]

[Steel: Well, let's consider that a draw.]

[Hayden: So are those Spambots going to land a single fatality with the vastly superior weapon they have?]

[Clappy: I know this story is implying there is a fight, but I've never been so bored reading one. You know, I had my share of problems with SBC Parallel Universe, but at least the fight scenes were entertaining. There is seriously no effort to make me even give a damn about what's happening.]

“Give up now,” said one of the Spambots.

[OMJ: What kind of fucking Spambots are you? Ask if you wanna whet my whistle already!]

“How very stupid of you, all that comes to my mind is slashing the fuck out of you guys without an end,” said Ex.

[OMJ: Spambot Lives Matter.]

[Clappy: Then slash the fuck out of them please. Don't reveal your game plan, you idiot.]

[Steel: If you're going to end the Spambots, then finish them already! Did you sprain your ankle or what?]

[Hayden: 

]

“Speaking of no end, how many bullets they even have?” tvguy said while everybody is still avoiding the guns.

[Clappy: You forgot a "do". You also forgot guns don't have unlimited bullets, you idiots.]

[OMJ: Obviously none now, since it sounds like they're just throwing their bloomin guns at them.]

[Hayden: I take back every word from before. This collective SBC squad is clearly the most elite and agile band of ninjas on the planet.]

[Steel: The number of bullets that the participating Spambots have is a company secret.]

“I don’t think we can’t do this much longer,” said teenj.

[OMJ: You don't think you "can't" do this much longer? Well there goes whatever tension there ever was here.]

[Clappy: Sure would be nice for the Grammar Police to make a final Riffing Theater return for this story because lord knows I would be here all day correcting the hell out of it.]

[Steel: You better think before using a double negative.]

[Hayden: I can't not laugh at how botched that attempt at making it seem like they were having a hard time was.]

“They’re really persistent,” said tvguy.

[OMJ: He should know, he spammed SBC on other sites like SBM and that Spandy forum to kingdom cum back in them days.]

“Hell to their resistance,” said OMJ.

[OMJ: Who the fuck says that.]

[Clappy: You apparently.]

[Steel: Only from the mind of my 2011 self.]

[Hayden: Heaven to whichever side gets wiped out.]

Eventually, the Spambots were creating a spam wall.

[SOF: Who paid for it?]

[OMJ: Oh no! It's an even more gigantic version of those stacks of spam cans you see in grocery stores that can be easily brought down! Oh, the inhumanity!]

[Clappy: http://memeshappen.com/media/created/We39re-going-to-build-a-wall--meme-61511.jpg ]

“No, it’s that again!” Ex said, and continues fighting off the Spambots, “JUST DIE!”

[OMJ: You should try hacking their xat a handful of times, that sure got you places before.]

[Hayden: That wall is EX-tra thicc.]

[Steel: He could also try doing something.

...

Yep.]

“They don’t die Ex, they multiply,” said teenj.

[OMJ: Sounds like some cheesy slogan for an 80s b-movie horror flick.]

[Steel: Dark Side of the Herd: the newest SBC miniseries created by Steel Sponge. "They don't die, they multiply!"]

“And there’s no stopping us now, because I’m going to change that!” Ex said and swings around his sword, which unfortunately falls down the mountain,

[Hayden: I'm having flashbacks, babe.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/9c69101b482e9cbd89b1fad0e642479a/tumblr_omwbc1hWf01qmrge7o4_540.gif ]

“Can I borrow that?” Ex said and snags one of the Spambots’ machine guns, “I am ExKizuna, motherfucker!”

[OMJ: Very Deadpool, much Lobo.]

[Hayden:  ]

[Clappy: So much for Steel saying he doesn't like to curse.]

[Steel: True, but I actually do still put in swear words in my works, and that's because I'm not saying them directly as myself. Also, my current self said that he doesn't like swearing, while my 2010-2012 self has used swear words directly, so the aforementioned quote isn't really a good sentiment.]

[Hayden: If you're typing the swear words, you're saying em in your mind's eye.]

Ex then starts shooting around at the Spambots for a chance to beat them all.

[OMJ: Shit, are they as terrible at dodging as they are at shooting? These SpongeBob forum members make it seem like such a breeze.]

[Steel: Did they partake in the same pointing, shooting, and dodging academy as the Stormtroopers?]

”Take that, you cockroaches!”

[SOF: Whoa, we got a badass folks.]

[Clappy: I feel like I should be more annoyed by the Scarface reference, yet I feel more embarrassed than anything else.]

[Hayden: Cockroaches, beetle drones. Close enough.]

[Steel: Apologies to any cockroaches who were offended by that remark.]

“Good work Ex,” said hilaryfan80.

[OMJ: Let's be honest here, hilaryfan80 would be the one to save our asses.]

[Clappy: And then make a topic about it.]

[Hayden: But only for Loyal Customers.]

Ex was still shooting, managing to wipe out all the Spambots in their path.

[OMJ: Fuck, didn't even have to reload or nothing? Did he enter the infinite ammo and zero reload cheats?]

[Steel: If that's true, then I might as well kick him from the rest of the story. Real perilous adventurers don't cheat.]

“The next time I run into them, they’re going to expect an unpleasant surprise,” said Ex.

[OMJ: I don't know, I quite enjoyed the fog's company while it lasted, a lot more than you lot.]

[Hayden: EX-pect the un-EX-pected.]

“Well, the Spambots are gone and there’s no sight of an Element of Harmony,” said SpongeSebastian.

“Hey guys, what’s up?” Goosey said when he was walking up to the group.

[Ex: Just reveling in my carnage.]

[SOF: Hi. Why are you here?]

[Clappy: ...surprise surprise. Another random convenience. Are we suppose to believe that Goosey just waited until the gun show was over before randomly popping up? And the bigger question, are we suppose to be that stupid to believe there is no correlation?]

[Steel: Before we...uh...all got started, I already got the...the uh Dark Side of the Herd *belch* drinking game underway. I-I-I took a shot for every, uh....for every time some-something convenient happens. It's uh...it's not the best *hiccup* decision I ever made, but someone....but uh someone had to-to do it. It's-it's not my best Rick impression, not my best *belch* Rick impression, but I managed to accomplish that better than the person....personalities of the rest of the SBC members.]

“I think the question is, how did you even get here?” 70s said.

[OMJ: I think the question is, where are your wife and kids while you're off playing brony with a bunch of SpongeBob forum users?]

[Hayden: Sara supports all his endeavors. Even if those kids are driving her mad. There's someone who deserves better, Wumbo.]

“Never mind that, so I heard you guys are looking for-“said Goosey.

[Hayden: http://i.imgur.com/spG7PRa.jpg?1 ]

[Steel: Pretty much the exact answer I was expecting for him to respond with.]

“Yes, this is the whole point of our mission, and how did you know we’re searching for the Elements of Harmony?” Ex asked.

[Clappy: Well, way to spoil our plans, genius.]

[Goosey: Actually, I was gonna say I heard you guys are looking for jjs, but I see you have far more pressing matters to attend to.]

[Steel: ^ I KNOW, RIGHT?]

[Hayden: I'm going to read that as Goosey shading them instead of him being serious.]

“I don’t know, it was a pretty fishy story, but…” said Goosey.

“Come on Goosebumpsfan…all you have to do is talk,” said OMJ.

[Clappy: Or "OMJ", I got a better idea. And that goes for the rest of ya, LET HIM TALK AND STOP CUTTING HIM OFF.]

[OMJ: You can either talk or HELL TO YOUR RESISTANCE.]

[Steel: High quality interrogation.]

[Hayden: Padding like this is why I'm still up at 6 AM riffing this drivel.]

“The master who must not be named ordered me, happy now?” Goosey finished and quickly jumps out from the mountain.

[SOF: ...WTF?! I didn't suggest that...this story went from boring to fucked up.]

[OMJ: Is this some kind of "Are You Happy Now?" reference?]

[Clappy: Is this the so called "suicide joke" because it sure seems pretty tame.]

[Steel: Well, it sure is leading to it.]

“Wow, and I didn’t even have to lift my machine gun,” said Ex,

[Clappy: I know Goosey was the butt of some jokes back in 2010 and 2011, and I never really thought he was that annoying, but good lord, if your reaction is to threaten to shoot him, then Christ, the Ex is an asshole adaptation curse continues.]

[OMJ: You should scratch that itchy trigger finger, Georgex Zimmerzuna.]

[Hayden: Well if SOF hates him, I'm sure Goosey deserves to be staring at the barrel of a machine gun. Oh well, doesn't matter now, no one could survive that fall....]

[Steel: I just said that there was a tasteless suicide joke in here, but there was also this. Consider that an oversight, but it could've been worse and I would've written Ex to actually pull out his "machine gun." Seriously, who refers to guns like that besides people in the military?]

“So I guess Goosebumpsfan flew the coop.”

“Or committed suicide, whichever is more accurate,” hilaryfan80 added.

[Steel: And there it is folks! Feel free to file a complaint towards Steel Sponge Productions for this tasteless joke any time. But hey, what did you think was worse? Ex's gritty remark about pointing a gun at Goosey or hilaryfan80 joking about Goosey jumping to his death? You decide! No pressure.]

[OMJ: Good ole hilaryfan80, making things simpler for us since 2011.]

[Clappy: Oh, this must be the one that Steel regrets. Nah, I am more annoyed by the asshole-ish remark from Ex.]

[Hayden: hilaryfan80 could've said worse considering that's the only logical conclusion to be had from a daredevil stunt like that. Gives me goose bumps. *gets shot by Ex*]

“Now he’s gone, so what do you guys want to talk about?” Teenj said.

[Steel: Anything besides morbid humor.]

[SOF: Wow, they didn't even bat an eye to his apparent suicide.]

[Clappy: What do you think this is, the XAT? Weren't you on that mountain for a reason?]

[Hayden: Let's talk about Degrassi. Season 10-11 era was going on around this time.]

“If you mean anything, then, so…how about we talk about stuff around this mountain?” Ex said.

[OMJ: Or, ya know, go back to saving the fucking world or something along those lines.]

[Steel: No thanks, old-timer.]

[Hayden: Maybe a butterfly or ladybug will pass by, which is more urgent.]

“Hey Ex, I see something above us,” said 70s.

“It looks like some kind of big castle, could be somebody’s lair,” said Pakasa.

[OMJ: Or it could just be me guessing your name in the Guess The Next Poster game, Pakasa.]

[Clappy: Oh hey, Pakasa is in this story. Almost forgot about that with the amount of focus certain people have been getting more than others. Seriously, I still don't understand why this many people need to be on this "adventure".]

[Hayden: First thing Pakasa thinks to call it is a lair? Oh well, at least this answers my question. It's a 2spooky4u castle.]

“Okay, I see that, now let’s keep going,” said Ex.

“Hold it!” SpongeSebastian said, “We’re near Poison Joke territory,” said SpongeSebastian.

[OMJ: What?! Community Deathmatch wasn't even a thing back then, that's absurd!]

[Hayden: Ohoho, these jokes have been poisonous, alright.]

[SOF: Wow, an actual MLP reference, hard to believe. Forgot this was an MLP fanfic.]

[Clappy: ...*googles Poison Joke*...oh, it's a My Little Pony reference. Kind of easy to forget that this is a MLP based story outside of all the talks about harmony and Rainbow Dash and GUNS AND THAT GUY WITH THE GLASSES.]

[Steel: I'm guessing this is the part where Seb effortlessly obtains an Element of Harmony. But I don't have to guess, I already know that this is true.]

“Now we’re being stalled by plants, any more sight-seeing interruptions you guys would like to share?” Ex said.

[Hayden: Wumbo's getting his vacation after all.]

[OMJ: Well, since you asked, The Spam Canyon seems like a good enough Internet terminology-inspired landmark to tourist at.]

[Steel: http://i.imgur.com/FdPwHpR.jpg?1

Here's a picture of a spring within the Amazon Rainforest. It's many miles more of a pretty sight than reading this Lit.]

“This is no joke, Ex. Trust me, and you’ll have to skip your way out from the Poison Joke,” said SpongeSebastian.

[Clappy: Skip? All you have to do is skip? Once again, THIS IS A CARTOON.]

[Steel: Whatever happened to a hop and a jump?]

[Hayden: If it's not a joke, why is it in the name?]

[OMJ: I personally wouldn't trust him. Not only do I think he's Blubber, but I would rather not skip like some little girl through freakin poison. Perhaps a nice sprint or a brisk run.]

“You’re being overdramatic,” said tvguy and simply steps on the Poison Joke and attempting to squash it a bit, “See, nothing wrong here.”

[Hayden: Poison Jerk.]

[OMJ: The squash match I never knew I needed.]

“You really don’t understand, do you?” SpongeSebastian said.

[Clappy: No, I seriously don't. ELABORATE.]

[OMJ: What I don't understand is how you're freakin Floronic Man all of a sudden.]

[SpongeSebastian: Ya' know Dylan, the plant is poisonous, but this is the moment where I'm going to say that I told you so.]

“Seriously, even plants like that can’t grow on a mountain,” said Ex, 

[OMJ: Plants like that can't grow anywhere.  ]

“Still, we have to avoid it, and then we can keep going.”

[OMJ: Good luck avoiding something that can't even grow in that environment! Way to contradict yourself!]

So everybody then skips away from the Poison Joke to continue their way.

[Clappy: CAR-TOON!]

[Hayden:  ]

[OMJ: Wow, and here I thought he wasn't being fucking serious about the whole skip thing. Bunch of pansies.]

[Steel: That wasn't too hard now, was it?]

Eventually, another light shines and reveals another Element of Harmony, which represents Honesty.

[SOF: Okay then, now that was easy.]

[OMJ: Seriously? Being forreal about skipping through poisonous jokes is enough to warrant an element of harmony for honesty, no less? So has everything else that's been said by everyone else complete bullshit then? hilaryfan80 couldn't just get it for his brutal honesty about Goosey's suicide earlier?]

[Clappy: What a load of horseshit. That's what gets him "honesty"? Do you even know what honesty is? I wouldn't call knowing what a nonexistent plant is being honest.]

[Hayden: Being practical about something that can harm them all is a great act of honesty! Screw this, ACS could accidentally possess all these qualities and there wouldn't be any sort of race right now.]

“Okay then, I doesn’t get that,” said 70s.

[OMJ: I could make a tired SOF joke that's in bad taste, but I will be strong and refrain by saying that I doesn't get it neither.]

[Clappy: These typos are far more glaring than usual.]

[Steel: My brain's hurting. I doesn't feel good.]

[Hayden: I doesn't think 70s should teach that to his children.]

“I guess SpongeSebastian showed honesty when warning us about the plants,” said Ex.

[OMJ: Oh sure, give Blubber in disguise here a fuckin honesty sticker too while you're at it.]

[Clappy: Knowledge in herbs isn't the same thing as honesty, dammit.]

[Hayden: The Element of Knowledge was right for this task, even if it would still feel like a shortcut.]

“Even though tvguy stepped around in them,” said teenj.

[OMJ: Then an Element of Stupidity randomly pops up and bestows itself to tvguy, thus shutting you up.]

[Clappy: Can I just copy and paste OMJ's riff because that was my immediate thought?]

[Steel: Looks like we're both going to commit to this. That was too golden.]

“Yep, now we got two elements and there should be four left!” SpongeSebastian said.

[OMJ: That didn't go to his head at all.  ]

[Hayden: For those at home, both groups together have 4 and there are two left. Or...three? Oh shit, just when I think I have it figured out. >_> ]

“While tvguy is going to experience some kind of effect from the Poison Joke…we go into that lair tonight!” Ex said.

[OMJ: Fucking spoilers, mang, shit.]

[Hayden: It's like Steel is having him talk directly to us. Thanks, I never speculated the character that did a dumb thing would face dumb consequences.]

[Clappy: Is the Poison Joke bad comedy because this is already unfunny enough.]

[Steel: Uh-oh, spaghetti o's! Aw shut up, fictionalized Ex.]

“After this, maybe we should have some pizza,” said teenj.

[SOF: OH GOD, no ATTWL 3 callbacks please.]

[OMJ: Yes, let's celebrate our admin's poisoning with some goddamn pizza!]

[Hayden: I wonder which bastard will sneak the extra slice they reserve for Jjs.]

[Steel: Cowabunga! With all seriousness, it looks like they're no longer in the mood for bagels. But next time, they're going to be telling me that they're going to want some pizza bagels.]

“Yes, as long as it’s not the one that gives me heartburn,” said Ex.

[Clappy: Okay then, grandpa.]

[OMJ: Is that forreal? Has that happened to him before? What an old fart!]

[Hayden: Which kind of pizza topping gives him heartburn? Probably a detail worth mentioning if you're going to introduce that trait.]

[Ex: Just make sure I get some applesauce for the road.]

Then it goes to ACS’ lair.

[Clappy: And then it goes back to Steel and SOF's group, and then it goes back to Ex, and then it goes back to Rainbow Dash and then THESE TRANSITIONS ARE DRIVING ME MAD.]

“Damn, damn, DAMN!” ACS exclaimed, “They have four of the scattered elements in two hours!”

[Hayden: Two hours? What kind of wacky timeline is this?]

[OMJ: Not so scattered if they just randomly appear to them which makes the journey that much easier.]

[Steel: Nice job, villain.]

“It’s the power of friendship ACS,” said XTM, “Theirs is just as stronger than you.”

[OMJ:

  

OH MY GOD! The fucking holy grail of ACS jokes has just been randomly popped up on us! I've taken more than my share of cracks at him, I'll let somebody else do the dishonors!]

[Clappy: You know what, I'm willing to forgive the grammar problem with that sentence because LET'S HEAR IT FOR ACS AND THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP! TWO THINGS I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER HEAR SAID IN THE SAME SENTENCE! "Four parts" in and I finally laughed at something in this.]

[Steel: I guess it's no wonder that ACS is letting the SBC members' mission of defeating him look easier.]

[Hayden: Oy ACS, we're gearing up for a confrontation like this.

]

“First off, get back to your stations and leave me alone, 

[OMJ: But you're already alone. I'll stop!]

second, whose side are you on?” ACS said.

[Clappy: The Power of Friendship.]

“Just saying,” XTM replied and leaves ACS’ sight.

[OMJ: 2011 Darris/JD was so mellow back then.]

[Hayden: Well you said it pretty righteously, XTM.]

“Hmm…those SBC members are stronger than I thought, no matter…I may have Rainbow Dash, Dragiiin, and jjs…but that won’t be enough, it’s time to unleash my army of enslaved bronies!”

[OMJ: You should really go about installing freaking LASER BEAMS on their heads if you really wanna stand a chance.]

[SOF: Brony slaves? Are they members of mlpforums or something?]

[Clappy: If you have hundreds of enslaved people, then why are you valuing capturing three people instead of just using those hundreds? I...I just don't understand all these logical loopholes.]

[Hayden: It's that much sweeter to use your enemies against your enemies....even though we haven't seen Dragiiin or Jjs interfere with the group once.]

[Steel: The Convenient Side of Herd, fellas.]

ACS then calls out his army of hundreds of brony slaves.

ACS then tells them, “If see a group of SBC members, seize them all. If you cannot do that, kill em’ all!”

[Clappy: Got that? IF SEE A GROUP OF SBC MEMBERS!]

[SOF: I know ACS is sad, but killing us over a game seems a bit much...but also sadly in-character at the same time.]

[Hayden: If they can't seize them, they probably can't kill them. Jedi bullet maneuvers, remember?]

“Yes Prince Dark Ruler,” one of them said.

[Random enslaved brony #26636: *Okay Governor.]

[Hayden: Wow, around 30,000 of these. Enjoy that number tag of individuality.]

“Haha, this will not fail! And in time, those SBC members will never find all the elements and the darkness will engulf for eternity!” ACS exclaimed and does an evil laugh.

[OMJ: Ah yes, nothing screams villainy more than a choppy sentence. Forget Community Deathmatch's interpretation of ACS, this one right here should win a Best Antagonist Award.]

[Clappy: ...and there's the evil laugh. Cartoon villain transformation complete.]

[Steel: Will the evil sorcerer Prince Dark Star get his revenge? Will the SBCers find all the elements in time? Find out in the next exciting episode of The Dark Side of the Herd!

Too bad I won't be hanging around for part 5, since I'm only patient enough to go on ahead with the last two parts.]

[Hayden: Everyone's skipping town on 5 but me....*gulp* I assume from here on out only one Harmony Element will be obtained per chapter. Seems troublesome.]

TO BE CONTINUED…

[OMJ: ...UNFORTUNATELY.]

[SOF: Damn, that was just as fucking boring as Part 2. I'm holding my full thoughts until the finale, but you can tell this miniseries has no idea what it wants to be about. It's feeling less of a MLP fic, and more of a TGWTG fic with some MLP references slapped onto it. Well...see y'all later.]

[Clappy: Yeah, no thank you. I only have one more chapter to riff and so far, I'm missing Can You Please Past the Future. Despite being probably the worst spin-off/lit title ever, at least that wasn't as painfully long as this. I'm holding back most of my thoughts until the final "part", but Christ, I can't hold back for much longer because despite being a massive mess, this sort of idea has already been done so much better by other writers. The My Little Pony theme can only cover up this fact for so long until you notice how little My Little Pony is actually in this damn thing and start to notice how much this resembles And Then There Were Less, SBC Parallel Universe, Rusty's Raping Rampage, Down Under, hell even some of Steel's other writings to name a few. Like I said, I'll save more of my thoughts until the end, but this is pretty damn bad so far.]

[Steel: So, Dark Side of Herd, so far....it's still not good. No, I have some new respect towards my other old shame, CYPPtF, because I had such a strong guilt complex towards that, but this miniseries is continuing to become so much worse. Pray for me.]

 

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

Awesome riffs as always, guys.