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Jjs' Riffing Theater 3000


Jinjo

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Time for this short ride to come to an end.

 

Also, as a fun little note, the Bikini Bottom High riffs currently hold the record of having the most riffers (8 for 1 and 3). So that's cool. Anyways, enjoy the "finale".

 

Bikini Bottom High

 

3. Friday Night Delight

 

Spoiler

FINALLY! I have finished the new Bikini Bottom High. Sorry for the lengthy delay, but I don't know if this episode makes up for it xP

 

[Hayden: The long delay made up for the first two since everyone scrubbed this from their memory. Thanks for dirtying our minds up again with a chapter three.]

[OMJ: 5gipr3e.jpg?1

Finally, my greatest creation has BEEN COMPLETED!]

[Trophy: I have my doubts...]

[MMM: Are you even trying?]

[Wumbo: You know... it's one thing to have a bad spin-off. Nobody blames ya for it, it happens to the best of us. It happens to me too, sometimes. But the one thing that really bothers me is this lack of confidence. Right from the get-go, if you tell us it's gonna suck, then it's probably gonna suck, because you've already planted that thought in our heads. So... let's see how true this prophecy turns out to be.]

[OMJ: I usually employ that tactic whenever I believe I wrote something good so that I can rub everybody's big fat nose in it.]

[Clappy: Well, here's the thing though. This episode can more than tell you that I knew this spin-off sucked. More on that once I reach the very end of this chapter.]

 

3. Friday Night Delight

 

[OMLJ: Anybody who makes a reference to Afternoon Delight will be bricked.]

[MMM: I'm actually riffing this on a Friday night, but this is anything but a delight.]

[OMJ: Pretty bold title, mang. Doesn't even have to be in bold to see just how bold it really is.]

[Hayden: Someone's getting laid.]

 

It was the day after Angela’s birthday party and there were bodies laying everywhere,

 

[bubblerock: Well, that escalated quickly.]

[MMM: Too much cake and ice cream....gets them every time.]

[Trophy: And they're dead, GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!]

[Yakko: Please don't steal my catchphrase, Trophy.]

[Wumbo: 

 

#sorrynotsorry]

[OMLJ: And everyone died. The end.

 

Well, we did it! We finally finished Bikini Bottom Hi--crap, there's more?!]

[Hayden: She murdered all her guests with outrageously terrible Pokemon references.]

 

red cups all over the floor,

 

[Wumbo: 

 

#definitelynotsorry]

[OMJ: Looks like blue solo cups got snubbed from another party. Again.]

[MMM: Now a red solo cup is the best receptacle
For barbecues, tailgates, fairs and festivals
And you sir do not have a pair of te-]

 

and school starting in a hour.

 

[OMJ: I'm sure Principal Asshat will give everybody the day off. After all, they're all passed out and hungover at his house.]

[Hayden: No concerned parents in sight.]

 

Nancy: You see, this is why partying on a school night is so horrible.

 

[Clappy: Hehe, self-awareness...that's not funny.]

[OMJ: And it's also a good reason why following your throbbing vagina against your common sense is not that good of an idea neither.]

[Hayden: A little late to chide everyone else for something you willingly participated in, bitch.]

[bubblerock: Okay, did this story really go so low to use a chat format? What idiot or group of idiots would do that?]

 

Jimmy: Lighten up babe, the day just begun and you are already acting anal.

 

[OMJ: Yes, could you please just save that for in bed.]

[Hayden: Well with terrible grammar like that Jimmy, no wonder she's anal about your ABC's.]

 

Nancy: Shut up, has anyone seen my brother?

 

Monroe was on the pullout couch in Angela’s guest room, naked and lying with Katie after a wild night of sexual activities.

 

[Clappy: She gave him bass.]

[steve's friends: THERE HE IS!]

[Hayden: Did I call it or did I call it?]

[OMJ: Well he lost his innocence about as fast as these kids lost their's reading this back in the day.]

[Wumbo: Heh. Heh. "Pullout".]

 

His virginity is history

 

[OMJ: Thank you for confirming that a dude named Monroe can get laid before I can.]

[Hayden: So is it monumental enough to be placed in the Bikini Bottom High history books? I assume with the type of Principal we have on our hands that this type of stuff must comprise Monroe's textbook lessons.]

 

and he still can’t believe that the head cheerleader is sexually interested in him.

 

[OMJ: That still makes both of us, don't you worry.]

[Hayden: Well, they don't call her the "head" cheerleader for nothing.]

 

Being the new starting quarterback of Bikini Bottom High has its benefits.

 

[Clappy: Yeah. Fish STD's.]

[OMJ: Yeah, such as having friends with benefits.]

[MMM: Don't you mean "the starting QB"? Also, here's a picture of the Monroe this spinoff is supposedly referring to:

 

QVhVD99.jpg

What happened to you, man?]

 

He snuck away to let Katie sleep as he went to go get ready for school.

 

[OMJ: Lose virginity, go to school. At least somebody still has some priorities in check.]

[Hayden: He's not going to wake Katie too for if she needs to get home or go to school herself?]

 

He realizes that he had a missed call from his father, so Monroe gave him a call.

 

[Trophy: ...I called it, and I am disappointed.]

[Fred: Monroe, are you there? Daddy needs help with another leg transplant!]

[OMJ: I'm sure he's calling for a thank you because without that quarterback position and with his name, none of this would have even been possible.]

[Hayden: Ha, finally! Monroe's about to get screwed in a different type of way for being out all night.]

 

Fred: Monroe, my boy. You got the starting job for the first home game of the season congrats!

 

[OMJ: So he gets the position without even properly trying out, he loses his virginity to the cheerleader and now he's getting paid to be in the position he never properly tried out for?!]

[Hayden: ........................]

[sponsors: Today's Riffing Theater has been brought to you in part by

6rGkgO5.jpg?1 ]

 

Monroe: Thanks dad, I hope its not just because I’m your son.

 

[OMJ: I smell plot twist incoming! He's really not his son.]

[Hayden: I think Fred's trying desperately to compensate for giving you the name "Monroe".]

 

Fred: Monroe, I have watched you step your game in the rec leagues the past few years. I know what you are capable of and I have faith in you to make me the proudest father in the world no matter what.

 

[MMM: That's what they all say.]

[Fred: And if you you end up singing and dancing, I will slap you SO hard!

vymHyb8.png?1 ]

[OMJ: 

]

 

[Fred: That time not withstanding!]

[Trophy: Even if he has the worst game in history of mankind professional or not?]

 

Monroe: Thanks dad, this means a lot to me.

 

[Monroe: Thanks dad.]

[Clappy: Thanks dad, I talk like a character from the 1950's but pull out cliches from modern teenage dramas.]

 

Monroe is now feeling like he is on top of the world and nothing was going to knock him down.

 

(The song Knocks You Down by Keri Hilson featuring Ne-Yo and Kanye West plays in the background as Monroe struts to school…..foreshadowing perhaps? 893573.gif

 

)

 

 

[bubblerock: No shit.]

[Trophy: And of course it's foreshadowing.]

[Wumbo: Pointing out the obvious, perhaps? yFlMe9s.png ]

[Hayden: Thanks for knocking the point into us with a bag of bricks, Clappy.]

[OMLJ: I feel this is more fitting.]

[OMJ: Is this foreshadowing him inevitably getting knocked down but he'll get up again and then you'll play Tubthumping?]

 

As soon as Monroe arrives at school, Brad grabs Monroe and slams him up against the wall outside of Bikini Bottom High. Brad looks extremely pissed off as he confronts Monroe as that smile quickly fades off Monroe’s face.

 

[Clappy: He's just giving him a congratulatory beat down. Nothing out of the normal.]

[MMM: Who's Brad? If memory serves, he just came in out of nowhere. If not, then I forgot about him. Reasonable excuse.]

[OMJ: I like how it tells us the dude's name as if we're already supposed to know who he is. But I digress. Thank you, story, for holding our hands a whole two feet or so with how quick that foreshadowing came to pass.]

[Hayden: Angela's going to be pissed he used Take Down instead of False Swipe. Gotta train her boyfriend and delete that move.]

 

Brad: So you will never believe what happened today.

 

[OMJ: I don't know, you found something in your sock?]

[Hayden: Angela's father molested you?]

 

I looked at the starting line-up roster for tonight’s game and guess who is the starting quarterback?

 

[Monroe: ME! WHAT DO I WIN? *drools*]

[bubblerock: The Pope?]

[Clappy: Tim Tebow?]

[OMLJ: Chad Kroeger?]

 

Monroe: I think I know who it is, but I’m not going to say who….

 

[OMLJ: 

 ]

[MMM: Random switch of format for no reason? Check.]

[Clappy: I hate you.  Maybe Mr. Krabs shook out your brains in Krabby Land.]

[OMJ: Yeah, that'll cushion your ass from getting knocked back down to earth even harder.]

[Hayden: Good thinking Monroe. Not admitting to it will force Brad to look elsewhere for someone to blame.]

 

Brad: The starting quarterback job was all I had besides good looks, a knockout girlfriend, and my popularity.

 

[OMJ: Seriously, these guys are putting Mr. Glass Bones & Paper Skin to shame.]

[Hayden: He's clearly lost so much in his life, guys. 1gQ9YCe.png ]

 

I was suppose to go play Division I football for Algae University,

 

[OMJ: Home of the Algae.]

[Hayden: Oh yeah, the only other town in the entire story.]

 

then get drafted to play professional football and win the Bubble Bowl and become a Hall of Famer!

 

[bubblerock: And then I'll suffocate seconds after being inducted!]

[Trophy:

1: The Bubble Bowl has fans above water...

2: You have a freakin' ton...

3: Algae University...]

[OMLJ: But you failed and played football for Moss College instead.]

[OMJ: I can't fux with a guy who seems to have his future all planned out, albeit with no back up plans whatsoever, but still more than I have planned out for myself.]

[Hayden: Hate to burst your bubble, but....]

 

Monroe: I think you need to set more realistic goals for yourself man…

 

[Hayden: There's the snark assist from my main man Monroe. USA! USA!]

[Trophy: BUT MONROE, NOTHING BEATS THE POWER OF BELIEVING IN YOURSELF!]

[Wumbo: Can I just punch Monroe now?]

[OMJ: Too bad, I think I've made it quite known so far that I called first dibs.]

 

Brad: Now you got jokes?

 

[OMLJ: Does this spin-off have any?]

[MMM: Jokes? Where?]

 

I’ll tell you what. Unless you want your head kicked in, you are going to throw the game tonight. You are going to play terribly and make your daddy bench you and put me back where I belong as starting quarterback.

 

[Clappy: Your plan is going to fail because there is no way I wrote a 90s cliched comeback....or did I?]

[Trophy: It's his first game with the team, chemistry could be off. Not everything relies on one game.]

[Hayden: Trophy, cool it with the nerd talk.]

 

Monroe: Well if you want to go back to where you truly belong, you should turn around and just kiss the ground your girlfriend walks on….

 

[Hayden: Oh snap. Get back in your Poke Ball, douche!]

 

Brad then proceeded with a knockout punch to Monroe.

 

[Clappy: apTfjDh.gif ]

 

Brad: Let this be a hint to the following things.

1. You don’t know who you are messing with

2. You should keep your mouth shut

3. You better do as I say, or this is a prelude of what is to come

 

[bubblerock: 4. ur a basic bitch :^)]

[Clappy: Can I have another hint?]

[Wumbo: Thanks for point-forming that list through dialogue, Brad. Makes it so much easier on the eyes.]

[OMJ: Great, more foreshadowing. Just throw in a hundred winks, nudges and farts while you're still on fire.]

[Hayden: Can you write that on a post it note since Monroe is allegedly unconscious right now?]

 

Monroe slowly got back up from the knockout punch as Brad walked off. Monroe now had a decision to make, should he make his father proud and give it his best, but then get the shit beat out of him or try to avoid another confrontation with Brad and lose the starting quarterback job he primarily got for being the coach’s son.

 

[MMM: We got daddy issues?]

[Trophy: Or tell your dad what's going on? OH NO, WAIT, THAT WOULD BE UNCOOL OF YOU!]

[OMLJ: Or "un-coral", as the cool kids call it.]

[OMJ: Ehhh, either way you'd still be unlikable.]

[Hayden: Straight outta good options.]

[Clappy: Thank you for that pointless recap of what I just read. Now onto the pointless montage with insert random pop song here.]

 

(The song Playing God by Paramore plays as Monroe starts to make his way back up from the KTFO punch and as he contemplates over Brad’s words

 

)

 

 

[OMJ: Oh, if Butters were riffing this right now.]

[butters: Paramore is trash. Hayley Williams voice is terrible.]

[Hayden: KDmwOdL.jpg?1 ]

 

Meanwhile, Nancy’s mind isn’t on her school work today. She keeps thinking about what happened last night. Why was there a wolf underwater?

 

[MMM: I don't know, why WAS there a wolf underwater?!]

 

Why did the wolf feel overprotective of her? Why did Jimmy have blood coming out of his mouth a while after this incident took place?

 

[Narrator: Why am I asking you all these questions? Mermaid Man, where are you?!]

[Clappy: Why is the paint not drying on the walls?]

[Wumbo: We could spend all night trying to figure out the answers, or we could make better use of our time and try to un-pop popcorn.]

[MMM: No. Don't even pretend like Jimmy's revelation is going to be a surprise.]

[Holmes: Well Watson, we've finally found a code that is impossible to crack.]

[Jadakiss: Why Halle have to let a white man pop her to get a Oscar

Why Denzel have to be crooked before he took it

Why do people push pounds and powder

Why did Bush knock down the towers]

 

Nancy decided that the only way she has to figure this out is by observing Jimmy.

 

[OMJ: In other words, just giving herself an excuse to check him out some more.]

[Hayden: Start with that mysterious bulge in his pants and then work your way up, detective.]

 

So at lunch, she, Susie, and Jimmy all sat together in the cafeteria.

 

[OMJ: You'd think she'd be eating with the thespians and he'd be eating with the shirtless, Native American werewolf clique.]

[Trophy: Must resist...urge to skip!]

 

Jimmy: Can I help you? You seem to have an odd fascination with my body.

 

[MMM: rbyH9q2.jpg?1 ]

[OMJ: SEE, I TOLD YOU!]

[Trophy: URGE...GETTING STRONGER!]

 

Nancy: Well I am doing an anatomy project and I am just checking out the differences between the male and female body.

 

[OMJ: I'm sure that would require you both to take your clothes off, so what's stopping you from being so straight forward about that?]

[Trophy: MUST RESIST!]

[Wumbo: Wow, that's terrible. *writes down in possible pick-up line list for later*]

[Hayden: Oh honey, they have diagrams for that. Maybe you can ask somebody IN THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE to print one off for you.]

 

Jimmy: Do I have to point out the obvious?

 

[Trophy: I CAN LAST THROUGH THIS IN ONE PIECE MENTALLY!]

[Wumbo: "My raging boner won't wait out this conversation, dear."]

[OMJ: Get it? Cuz his penis is the obvious in question!]

[Hayden: You don't have to, but your author certainly advises the obvious is pointed out at all times.]

 

Susie: Well if you are talking about differences, Jimmy you do have that odd tattoo on your back.

 

[Trophy: Phew....it didn't go there.]

[OMJ: You know, I was just kidding when I made that Twilight crack. I can't believe this is really going there...]

[Hayden: What the fuck does a tattoo have to do with the human body's anatomy?]

 

Nancy: What kind of tattoo?

 

Susie: Oh let me show you.

 

Susie then proceeded to draw out the tattoo as it looks like this…….

 

Devil_pentagram.jpg

 

[MMM: oooohhhhhnnnnoooooo]

[Producer's Note: Actually, it was supposed to look like this:

tiger-head-clip-art-30961.png

But we had to make it edgy because the network forced it upon us.]

[OMJ: As opposed to just moving his shirt up a bit and showing it?]

[Hayden: Susie just wanted to show off her quirky art skills to remind us why she's significantly more fleshed out as a female character than Nancy.]

 

Nancy: Why does that tattoo look so familiar? Jimmy, isn’t that what I think it is?

 

It was too late, as Jimmy has vanished from the table.

 

[Hayden: He got out while he still could. God bless him.]

[OMJ: He sure had a lot time in between that drawin-]

[Jimmy: I'M THE WOLFMAN!]

 

Things are starting to get a bit more peculiar to Nancy as something is definitely up with Jimmy.

 

[Hayden: So you learned jack shit in that scene past reaffirming your previous assumption. Moving on.]

[OMJ: Just another Strange Day at Bikini Bottom High.]

[Trophy: Well it wasn't a total disaster.]

[Clappy: You're right Trophy. That dialogue wasn't too terrible.]

 

(The song Voices by Saosin plays as Nancy starts to contemplate Jimmy’s secret

 

)

 

 

[Clappy: ....but this nonsensical music is.]

[OMJ: Come on, Clappy. Voices by Rev Theory would've been much better.]

 

The school day ends as it is Friday night. The first home game of the season for the Bikini Bottom High Sea Miners

 

[OMJ: Whoa, whoa, whoa! As in jjs's Sea Miners? If that's the case, I must admit I like that reference, or better yet, they take place in the same universe. A guy can fan fiction fan fiction.]

 

as they play the Rock Bottom Sea Urchins and Monroe is finally ready to perform in his first game of the season as starting quarterback.

 

[OMJ: So is Rock Bottom's school called Rock Bottom Low?! Get it cuz they're...deep in the trench- no? K, I'll stop.]

[Hayden: Oh, Rock Bottom instead of the obvious move to make it a team from Algae.]

 

Brad: Remember Rechid, your ass is going to be on a silver platter if I don’t get what’s coming to me.

 

[Monroe: No! Not my donkey!]

[Hayden: Are you sure an ass sandwich isn't what you want coming to you either way this goes down?]

[OMJ: Bring some new beating to eating out somebody's ass.]

[Waiter: Sorry, we don't serve "Monroe's ass" at this establishment. Look at the menu, moron.]

[Waiter 2: That'll be $531.97 plus tax.]

[Wumbo: gotta eat the booty like groceries]

 

This made Monroe even more nervous as the game started.

 

[Monroe: I GOT DIARRHEA]

[OMJ: Better yet, should've just said that. Might make Brad think twice about putting your ass on a silver platter.]

[Clappy: I wouldn't want to eat dat ass either.]

 

The Sea Miners got the ball first as Monroe got first dibs on the playmaking. He threw a 25 yard bomb that was caught for a first down. Fred loved what he saw and Monroe was happy, but he saw Brad looking pissed.

 

[Fred: Aah, who cares. At least he ain't my son!]

 

Monroe then realized that he already forgot about Brad’s threat so he screwed up the next play and fumbled the football away. He kept screwing up plays throughout the first half as the Sea Urchins started to pull away and had a 24-0 lead.

 

[MMM: Zero fucks given.]

[Trophy: ...So his playmaking awfulness means the defense has like 20 yards to work with or are they bad as well?]

[Hayden: They're throwing bombs? Maybe football is as wicked as Trophy says it is.]

[Clappy: No...you're not going to do that 90s cliche Clappy. Please don't tell me.]

 

It was halftime as Katie walked straight up to Monroe and smacked that shit out of him.

 

[Trophy: OOOH, IT'S GOIN DOWN TONIGHT!]

[MMM: Gotta get that team encouragement up in here, mhm.]

[OMJ: Not just any shit, that shit. I'm sure that didn't help his diarrhea.]

[Hayden: Maybe she got all the diarrhea out so he could concentrate.]

 

Katie: What the fuck was that about? You better get your head out of your ass and win this for us or we are through.

 

[OMJ: Yeah, so that way Brad can put his head up your ass in the showers.]

[Hayden: So even the girls give a flying shit about football?]

 

Monroe: I thought you actually had feelings for me.

 

[bubblerock: I thought Clappy put feelings into his work.]

 

Katie: I sleep with the school quarterback to gain credibility and you are sure are blowing your chance right now.

 

[Clappy: Heh, "blow".]

[Trophy: You willingly admit that to his face? So you have sex with guys to GAIN credibility? Some freakin' cheerleader. I'll leave this to the others not too astonished by this.]

[MMM: I'm not sure if she has any clue what "credibility" means.]

[Wumbo: "If this continues, I'll have to go back to sleeping with guys for money again!"]

[OMJ: She would sure are know about blowing, wouldn't she.]

[Hayden: It's one game, Prima Donna. A little early to deny him the V card and reveal your true intentions.]

 

Monroe: Oh don’t worry about blowing anything from me,

 

[Trophy: NO!]

[Clappy: ....ugh...]

[MMM: What a way to go out.]

[OMJ: Yeah, you should worry more about the syphillis.]

[OMLJ: Welp, I'm done with this. Just wake me up when it's all over. And please don't reference that Avicii song.]

 

we are through.

 

[Trophy: Phew. Another close call.

[OMJ: Well, that lasted about as long as those two in bed, I'm sure.]

[Hayden: If he keeps up this pace he can have a girlfriend for every day of the school year.]

 

Monroe stormed back to the locker room where he ran straight into Fred.

 

[Fred: MY LEG!]

 

Fred: You ok son? What is going on out there? Ever since that first play, you have been a completely different player. Don’t listen to all the crap you are probably going to get from the other players. I will always be proud of you no matter what.

 

[Monroe: Thanks dad.]

[Fred: Even if you do give into all the crap you're probably getting from the other players.]

[Fred: Even if I'm completely oblivious to the fact that someone is intentionally sabotaging himself....MY LEG!]

 

Monroe then realized that it’s not about himself or even about Brad. His father made him the starting quarterback because he was proud of him, so he decided that even though it will mean getting his ass kicked by Brad.

 

[Hayden: Was that a cut off?]

 

The second half started and Monroe completely turned his act around and started to play much better as the game moved on. The game ended as Bikini Bottom High beat Rock Bottom 35-24 as Monroe was able to get 35 unanswered points for them.

 

[bubblerock: mchammer.gifWE WIN DANCE PARTY NOW mchammer.gif]

[MMM: Oh, so he actually does have skill.]

[Trophy: AND THE DEFENSE IS SUDDENLY GOOD, I DON'T GET IT! LIKE LOW MORALE? THEY'D STILL HAVE A BIG LEAD WHEN GETTING THE BALL BACK THE FIRST TIME UGGGGHHHHHHHH!]

[Hayden: Clappy didn't do as much research on football games as Trophy.]

[Clappy: Yep....I raped that 90s cliche. That's fucking impossible that the other team didn't get a single point. As Trophy pointed out, the defense magically got better while the offense of course livened up? Horrible....just horrible cliche.]

[OMJ: You know, that still doesn't make the whole "dad's the new coach and immediately makes his son the starting quarterback" thing come off any less dickish. I mean, if he had a proper tryout and actually showed some stuff, then fine, but I can actually feel where Brad's coming from because he's apparently put more time into this team than Monroe, I assume he's at least just as good as 35 unanswered point scoring Monroe (which we will never really know cuz fuck tryouts, this story's over) and to see some new kid be thrown in the lap of school luxury out of straight up nepotism, yeah, I'd want to to kick his ass and tear em a new one too.]

 

(The song Symphonies by Dan Black and Kid Cudi plays during the montage of the second half of the game. 

 

)

 

 

[OMJ: Now this is when Tubthumping should've start playing.]

 

The team celebrates as they carry Monroe off the field except for Brad who gives Monroe a sharp stare as Monroe knows that he has dug his own grave and that Brad will be out for vengeance sooner or later.

 

[Hayden: Or never.]

[Trophy: OR TELL YOUR DAD WHO IS ALWAYS PROUD OF YOU, WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!]

[brad: Maybe if I stare at him sharp enough, I might just impale him.]

[MMM: Wait, does this mean we never get to see Brad's vengeance?]

 

Songs From This Episode

Knocks You Down – Keri Hilson featuring Ne-Yo and Kanye West

Playing God – Paramore

Voices Saosin

Symphonies – Dan Black and Kid Cudi

 

[OMJ: *DOWNLOADS THEM NOW*]

 

Feedback is not required, but it would be nice

 

[Hayden: Don't guilt me into typing anymore than I have to. I'm not working overtime. *flips Bikini Bottom High and Clappy off as he walks through the football stadium and does an iconic fist pump*]

[OMJ: Well, if you say so. *escapes to freedom with my newly-downloaded tunes* I'll just leave this series with this.

 

 

Dawson had a creek, but Clappy got High.]

[Trophy: Well this is a waste of my time, that's what. Nice enough for you? I could go way deeper than this if you gave me more material, it would've been interesting to see if you could have made this better after 3 eps, because 3 episodes isn't enough for a whole spin-off, but then again Bikini Top got 1000% worse, so I dunno here.]

[MMM: Just look at this spin-off. Look at it. I'm personally awful at keeping spin-offs nice and afloat, but LOOK AT IT. It's more than likely for the best that we've never heard from this again. If there's something good I can say about this thing, it's that it's probably the best show that features a rebellious fish named Jimmy that is secretly a werewolf and also has a Devil's Pentagram tattoo...BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY ONE. So, yeah. I'm out.]

[bubblerock: Yeah, um, this was certainly an interesting read. It was almost so bad it's good at points, what with the obvious Bikini Top ripping off and... the fucking werewolves, man. I mean, holy shit, this is a story if you want a good laugh, but obviously not for the reasons intended.]

[Wumbo: Yep. I love Clappy's writing, but everyone has a bad one and this was yours, man. Trying so hard to be Bikini Top, ripping off every lazy trope, and just being a big mess all around. Thankfully you've got a lot of good stuff on your repertoire, so it's not like this stains it in any sort of way. At least that's what I tell myself when I re-read Anchovy Busters.]

[OMLJ: Clappy, as much as an excellent spin-off writer you are, I do have to agree that this is one of your weakest works. Then again, any spin-off that attempts to be like Degrassi or Fifteen tends to be pretty bad, unless it's done right. At least it didn't overstay its welcome like Bikini Top, because if it did, I'm pretty sure each season would be more unbearable than the last. Thankfully, you have made more great spin-offs than bad spin-offs, so this spin-off shouldn't tarnish your reputation. Just try to steer clear of writing similar to Bikini Top. yFlMe9s.png ]

[Clappy: Okay, time for my own come to Jesus. I am well aware how awful this is, not because of the fact that it's me blatantly trying to replicate Bikini Top's success. Spoiler alert, but I'm not the only one who has done this whether it be in parody or not. It's because I tried to do something I was not comfortable doing just to have people read my works. I have never been a fan of teen dramas even when I try to be. I hate how cliched they are. I hate the forced dialogue. I hate the stereotyping. I hate everything about them. It's rare when I find one of these I can tolerate. Yet, just to try and replicate the success of the self proclaimed number one spin-off, I sold out on my own beliefs of the genre and made one myself. I was disappointed in my product and it showed. Badly. That's why this was my last true SpongeBob based spin-off for awhile and why I took a hiatus from spin-off writing afterwards. This project completely depleted me of all my creativity because I knew it was awful and I wasn't enjoying myself writing it. Not until I bought the rights to Skodwarde did I actually start enjoy writing again.

 

But take a look at everything that has been riffed in this thread before making any judgments. Is it really all time bad? I don't think it is. Not because I wrote it, yeah it's bad. But at least it ended abruptly with those three episodes. I mean, it's not at the levels of Bikini Top S2, Runaway Sponge, or ATTWL v3 (Sorry guys, you might find it The Room of SBC, but it's just a massive terrible mess. Quotable, yes, but just a flat out pain to read.). I may just be giving myself the benefit of the doubt for ending it before it got any worse, while those kept going and going thinking that they were successful. But yeah, this is just a short sighted mess that could have been easily avoided if I stayed true to who I am as a writer and not try to sell out in an attempt to gain viewers.

 

Here's the thing though I wanted to accomplish with this riffing. Everyone has a bad spin-off/lit. Whether they like to admit or not, none of you are perfect writers. If I can admit I have a bad writing, so can you. Look back at your works. Re-read them. Are you telling me something that you thought you were proud of awhile hasn't held up well? Because that's what happened here. Steel, Wumbo, OMJ, Metal Snake, and anyone else, I'm calling you guys out. Go through your past works and submit one of these to get riffed. If Jjs and I can come out of this knowing that we have a spin-off/lit we aren't proud of, so can each and every one of you. Don't hold back on yourselves either. Just treat it like it needs to be treated and put it to shame to never be heard of again. Bikini Bottom High isn't staining my reputation at all. Your one bad work isn't going to stain yours either.

 

So you can do one of two things. Just sit back and have fun mocking your peers for works they aren't proud of. Or look back and tell Jjs that you want to riff your own work. I recommend choosing the latter. It's way to easy to just say that other people's works have flaws. It's an actual challenge to be able to own up that you have a writing that is not good. Always go for the challenges. They help you grow as a person to show that you are human and have made a mistake. A mistake that needs to be riffed to knock your ego down a few pegs, while still having a good time making fun of it.]

 

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I have offered Jjs to riff The Killer Krab before and I'm pretty sure I mentioned I'd be down with Post Fiction as well in one of my SBCPU riffs. I just remember Jjs telling me that he didn't think KK was too riffable or something (WHICH IS BALDERDASH). Those are the main two I'm least proud of that actually lasted a good bit. Well, either those or BadBob CoolPants.

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Regarding the riffs, they were good like always, and regarding the actual spin-off, yeah, I believe the reason the spin-off didn't work is because Clappy was not enjoying writing it. However, I do understand because I also had to learn the hard way to write for fun, not for "fame".

 

Regarding the final thoughts, that was an excellent speech, Clappy. Also, please do not take this as me being defensive, but I can honestly attest to and even prove that I have been open to having my own works riffed.

 

...

 

I'm serious. :P Jjs can testify that I have said that my spin-offs and lits are open to being riffed by him multiple times in PC in the past, and I even have a riff of one of my own works in progress that I began months ago. I just never finished it because I was so busy with other projects and got out of the mojo.

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Well I'm glad to know you guys have offered yours up as well. It really is a challenge that I think more people should take up on instead of just going for the easy notorious targets to riff on. Hope we do more of that in the future.

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This isn't anywhere near terrible so far, but yeah, this is nowhere near as funny as I remember it. I would've laughed at LT's joke if he communicated in actual curse words, but...censored curse words? That doesn't really work for a recurring joke.

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Besides my Masta Artisan reference at the end there, this wasn't terrible (so far).  Just incredibly unfunny, which is not what I expect from Wumbo's comedy lits.  But yeah I'm afraid for how the rest is.  Not like I fear it's going to be really bad, but when you hear the same unfunny joke over and over again, it starts to get unbearable.  Which is what I predict the rest of this series will go, but hey, we shall wait and see.

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Ruty's Rapping Rampage

2. Whip My Hair

Episode 2: Whip My Hair

[MMM: JUST WHIP IT]

[JCM: Whip your own hair. You grown.]

[Fred: I know there's something wrong, but I'm not going to whip it.]

[Clappy: Watch me riff. Watch me not like.]

The Rut and his crew continued to drive the Lamborghini. LT was on his Motorola cell phone,

[JCM: Motorola cell phone? Is this from 2013 or 2003?]

[Fred: Bitch, I use an iPhone.]

[Clappy: This was 2013, not 2008.]

trying to make contacts, a feat made difficult because he could only communicate through censored curse words.

[MMM: So many beeps you'd assume the phone never stopped ringing.]

[Fred: So..........he's Q*Bert?]

[Clappy: Then why not text?]

He hung up the phone, spouting censored curse word after censored curse word.

[JCM: A call with Comcast will do that to you.]

[MMM: Try to say "censored curse word" five times fast. Any way you could make that more of a mouthful?]

[Clappy: Well it's Motorola, what do you expect? Verizon and AT&T have great Rut crew plan deals going on right now. I bet you can probably get yourself a tablet too with some sort of bundle package.]

“Hey! Who’s that?”

[JCM: Who's that? That do that, do that?

Oh, this isn't the Iggy episode? All right.]

Stacy 56 spotted a young girl standing on the side of the road.

[Clappy: .....uh oh, sounds like she's going to be needing an adult in 3...2...1...]

The Rut stopped the car. He recognized the girl as Willow Smith. "Hey, I know you!” he exclaimed. “You’re Jaden Smith’s sister.”

[MMM: Hey! This is so flatly written I really can't think of anything to say.]

[JCM: "You have my condolences."]

[Fred: Nope, it's just Chuck Testa.]

[Clappy: ....yeah, it's not like she has more famous parents or anything.]

“Haters gonna hate. I just shake ‘em off.”

[Clappy: But what about fading to irrelevancy? Was Willow Smith still a thing in 2013?]

[MMM: Predating Shake It Off, too.]

[Fun Fact Box: Taylor Swift got the idea of Shake It Off from this show.]

Willow Smith shrugged her shoulders to show her indifference.

[Clappy: You mean not flip her hair? Gasp. And here I thought I had this one note character figured out.]

“Let’s move on,” Lobber M suggested. “We don’t need to associate with rappers with failed careers.”

[JCM: Yeah, you're too busy being it.]

[MMM: You need some ice for that bu....the ice just melted.]

[Fred: Well, she's gonna need some Vanilla Ice for that burn.]

“Hey yo! That’s cold!” Willow yelled.

[Clappy: Not as cold as the awkward silence of hoping that line was funny.]

“So what? Just shake me off,” Lobber M replied.

[JCM: Not without a ring on that finger! On the other hand, a ring might make it painful...]

[MMM: How does one do th-]

Willow Smith whipped her hair back and forth, whipping Lobber M repeatedly. “Hey! Ow!”

[MMM: Hair can naturally lash someone? Drop all those nuclear weapons, we've found something more powerful.]

[Fred: Willow Smith used Hair Whip! It's super effective!]

[Clappy: Hey look, she did that thing in her song...is it funny yet?]

“So Willow, what can we do so that we end up the exact opposite of you?” The Rut asked.

[JCM: Yeah, who'd want a Top 40 single and a guaranteed inheritance of millions of dollars? I know I wouldn't.]

[Clappy: On top of that, who wouldn't want to be associated with one of the richest families in Hollywood that will make her career happen whether it be in music or acting?]

[Fred: Well, for one, learn how to come up with lyrics that aren't the song title repeated over and over again.]

“You want some of this?” Willow threateningly pointed her dreads at The Rut.

[MMM:YAGpXPd.png ]

[JCM: And immediately was gunned down by a white police officer.]

The Rut gulped. “Moving on.” He put the car into drive and sped off. And the Rut Crew rolled on.

[Clappy: Taking the joy out of it's viewing audience with it.]

[MMM: Just gonna end like that? Censored Pulitzer after censored Pulitzer after censored Pulitzer. At least it's really short, I could say that. Doesn't mean it's good, though. (Jumps on train to fit the theme, train rolls off bridge)]

[JCM: I riff this liiit back and forth. I riff this liiit back and forth.]

[Fred: I have no words.]

 

Edited by jjsthekid
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...Wait, that's it?! That felt way too short. Worse, the only joke that actually satirized Willow Smith...was the joke that everyone makes about her. Man, this is worse than I remember it, and I don't even remember reading too much after this...

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Ruty's Rapping Rampage

3. Aaron's Party (Come Get It)

Episode 3: Aaron’s Party (Come Get It)

[MMM: Come get it? Nyeh, I'll have my assistant pick it up.]

[Fa: Oh, I made it back just in time for the ball! Lovely]

[Fred: WHEN YOU'RE READY, COME AND GET IT NO--Wait, I probably shouldn't reference even shittier songs in a shitty song.]

The Rut and his crew continued to drive the Lamborghini. LT was still not making any progress with his phone calls. He hung up once again, spouting censored curse word after censored curse word.

[MMM: Wasn't funny the first time, not funny now. Who am I kidding, this doesn't need to be said.]

[JCM: Ha ha! It's almost as unfunny the second time!]

“You know, we really should get someone else to handle the contacts,” Stacy 56 suggested.

[MMM: Oh?]

The moment she said that. LT’s Motorola phone rang.

[Fa: Boy, Motorola's are so 2000 and late! *finger wags*]

LT picked it up. “#### ##### ##### ####?!” he sputtered.

[Fa: Oh boy, we're still doing this joke...]

[MMM: #### ## ## ####### ###### #### ## ## ###########!]

[JCM: ##### indeed.]

[Fred: 867-5309-e-ine]

“Hi, this is Aaron Carter,” the other end said.

[JCM: The other end is my favorite character.]

[Fred: Is this the Krusty Krab?]

 LT put it on speaker so everyone could get in on the conversation. “#### ##### #### ####!” he yelled.

[MMM: Number what? NUMBER WHAT?]

[JCM: I haven't seen that many hashtags since Hillary Clinton's last attempt at "youth outreach".]

“Aaron Carter? That guy hasn’t been relevant since… ever!” The Rut insisted

[MMM: Part of me wants to believe Wumbo secretly used this as an outlet for his thoughts on rap music, but I'm looking wayyyy to deep into it.]

“Also, he’s not a rapper.”

[Fa: Hey! Joe Carter had a very famous ho- Oh, Aaron Carter! Sorry, got nothin' for ya.]

“That’s where you’re wrong, buddy boy!” Aaron insisted. “I had a successful hip hop career throughout the late 90’s!”

[MMM: Oh, he did...take it....seriously.]

[Fred: Ah yes, I remember all of Aaron Carter's hit song.]

“Oh, really? And how successful are you now?” The Rut asked.

[JCM: Define "success". If you mean "making millions of dollars a year" successful, no, but if you mean "just appeared on Dancing With the Stars" successful, he's your guy!]

“Well, I just filed for bankruptcy, actually…” Aaron admitted.

[MMM: What do you say to this, really?]

[JCM: The IRS confiscated all of Aaron's candy.]

“That’s all we need to hear. Buh-bye!” The Rut hung up.

Aaron grew angry. “They can’t mess with me,” he vowed. “My songs were played on Disney and Nickelodeon!

[MMM: Looks like Cartoon Network rejected the man.]

[Fred: But not MTV or VH1. They only want to play music videos from talented people.]

I WILL regain my fame!”

[MMM: By playing your songs on Discovery Family?]

[Fa: He was number 1! Can't for him to become this series' hooded stranger in the dark alley.]

On the other end, The Rut gave a pep talk to his crew. “Look,” he insisted. “We can’t keep wasting our time on has-beens. We need to find a current rapper as our mentor!”

[JCM: I heard Will Smith's back on the market.]

“#### ##### ######## ####!” LT screeched.

[MMM: LT needs to release an EP or something.]

[Fa: *67 here. Yeah, uh huh, tell 'em I want that TV-MA rating after all...]

“I know you’re doing your best, but we need to give the reins to someone else,” The Rut replied. “Lobber M? Do you think you can handle the contacts?”

[JCM: Contacts? But he has 20/20 vision.]

[MMM: How long has this "new contact handler" idea been in your heads? Since LT took the job in the first place?]

“Dude, you’re talking to Lobber M. With a rap name like that, how can I lose?”

[Fa: *How couldn't I lose? Minor correction there.]

“Prove it,” The Rut replied. “Get me… The Real Slim Shady.”

[JCM: Sure. Just as soon as he stands up.]

[Fa: An Eminem appearance! What could go wrong? This should be fun, while this episode really wasn't. See ya next time fellas!]

[Fred: Eh, I wasn't really feeling this episode much, but hopefully, this next one will be better riffing material.]

 

Edited by jjsthekid
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