Jump to content
  • Advertisement

Jjs' Riffing Theater 3000


Jinjo

Recommended Posts

You have no idea how happy i was when i went through this thread, and found out one of my shows', Prince Neptune, got riffed. THe riffs were hilarious and spot on. I love being mocked sometimes. And yeah, i have no idea what i was thinking with it. I seriously i thought i was being clever with some of thios stuff,and it really sucked. I know i planned to do something with the evil ex wife thing, but i don't remember when i would do it, or what i would do with everything else. I'll go with the eploige you guys had.

 

If you ever take on my other show, The Minorly Average Show, I'd love to joni in with it. It may be even worse than Prince Neptune, at least with the early episodes.

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

World of Gloves:

 

1. Who Are They:

Spoiler

 

[Jjs: Alright, this spin-off is called "World of Gloves", created by Wumbolo! I have no idea what to expect from it, but anything involving gloves shouldn't be bad, right? It's...it's gonna be bad, isn't it? Let's just get this over with.]

 

S1 E1 --- Who are they

 

[Trophy: You tell me bitch.]

[Halibut: That is definitely a pulls-you-in kind of title. I have a feeling it's going to be the most suspenseful part of this thing.]

[Jjs: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?]

 

The new serie!

 

[Jjs: The new Siri? Wow, now Siri has been upgraded so much that it is now a fanfic on a SpongeBob site!]

[Halibut: A Siri fanfiction is something only Wumbolo could come up with.]

 

World of Gloves! Patrick loves it!

 

[Trophy: So, is this a TV show inside the world of SpongeBob?]

[Jjs: Well, if Patrick approved this spin-off, then I'm sure it's great!]

[Halibut: It's one thing to get a fake endorsement from a fictional character, it's going the extra mile to get an endorsement from a fictional character whose main premise in the show is to be a dumbass.]

 

It all happens in Bas Vegas

 

[TrophyOH HAHA, VERY FUNNY! Oh wait, Nick used this in a game once on nick.com, AHAHAHA OH SO ORIGINAL!]

[Halibut: As a bonus, Bass Vegas is an actual place used in Have You Seen This Snail?]

[Jjs: A "bas" is apparently a bachelor of applied science, so basically our main characters must be getting their BASes, right?! Right?...]

 

and other settings are simillar to SpongeBob. The main characters aren't from SpongeBob but some SpongeBob characters still appear in some places.

 

[Jjs: Fiddlesticks.]

 

The main characters are: Carlos, Michael, John, Phil and Eugene.

 

[Jjs: Carlos Arroyo? Michael Jackson? John Holland? Phil of the Future? Eugene Krabs? Interesting cast...]

[Halibut: I bet Phil is the smartass in the group.]

 

Anne also appears often, so count on her, too.

 

[Jjs: Anne Hathaway?]

[Halibut: Anne sounds like a very unique individual filled with passion.]

 

They often hang in a coffee bar, although they never drink coffee!

 

[M. Night Shyamalan: WHAT A TWIST!]

[Trophy: Oh my god, we finally found something more pointless than the Smoothie Shack! RUN FOR THE SHELTERS!]

[Halibut: Maybe they live the "Doing stuff on their Mac to get attention" stereotype that most people who go to coffee shops experience.]

 

They drink fruit juices, smoothies,

 

[Trophy: WHAT I WAS JUST JOKING JDFJJDHJJDJKSDJKSD!]

 

teas (yes, sometimes when they are a bit dummed),

 

[Jjs: I dun dummed from thar grammer.]

 

cokes and chocolate milk.

 

[Halibut: Ooh, they do coke? This is a very extreme group of friends.]

 

They are mostly teenagers,

 

[Trophy: ...Mostly? *is tempted to dial Pedophile Polic-oh they retired nvm*]

 

like Pearl, 

 

[Jjs: Why are you trying to make us hate them already?]

 

but Michael is mature.

 

[Jjs: Atta boy, King.]

 

Today, John is late.

 

[Jjs: I knew one day males would get pregnant! This is testosterone's worst nightmare!]

 

„Where were you?“ asks Phil.

 

„You're suspicious!“ notices Carlos.

 

[Trophy: WELL, YOU'RE AN ELEPHANT FATTY! *cue laugh track*]

[Jjs: Those commas acting as quotation marks are pretty suspicious as well.]

[Halibut: The lack of character development in this makes me want to go to a coffee house and not drink coffee.]

 

„I slept longer, then I went to the shopping center. I think it's 10 o'clock.“

 

„Nope! It's 12 AM! You hear! It's 12 AM.“

 

[Jjs: DO YOU HEAR WHAT I HEAR?]

[Trophy: What smoothie shack rip-off coffee shop would be open this late?]

[Halibut: I legitimately think Wumbolo thought that 12 AM was noon.]

 

What will they do?

 

A: Yell at John.

B: Go shopping.

C: Go haircutting.

D: Today's episode is over.

 

[Jjs: I choose E. All of the above.]

[Trophy: I choose F this actually gets interesting by next episode then.]

[Halibut: I choose F because this spin-off deserves an F.]

 

Credit goes again to Scootaloo and his Adventures of Kyle and Carl!

 

[Trophy: Again? Okay, this all sucks, end of story, good night! I AM OMEGA! Ω.]

[Jjs: Wait, were the characters in this based off of that? Even if none of us read it, he sure did a good job developing the characters for us. I'm glad we got such a great insight on these crossover characters. Let's see... we learned they have a bunch of celebrities in the cast, got Michael Jackson's ghost, John Holland is pregnant, they do coke, and they don't drink coffee. That's good enough for me.]

[Halibut: Sometimes in the Riffing Theater, there are spin-offs that people riffing it can give paragraphs explaining what's so bad about it in detail, and then there's stuff like this which is too bland to even criticize legitimately. I cannot wait for the next episode of this wonderful serie!]

 

2. It's time for... Blah!

Spoiler

S1 E2 --- It's time for... Blah!

 

[Jjs: Pretty accurate title of what to expect.]

[Halibut: I can barely wait for the adventures of the people with unbelievably vague names :D ]

 

„I'm telling you. That party yesterday was very hard. I thought it will end ...“

 

[Jjs: Interesting, another combination of present and past tense. I will have thought it ended too.]

[Halibut: Wait, party? What party!? There seems to be zero connection between the first episode and the (last) one apparently.]

 

„JOHN!“

 

„What?“ John asks greedy.

 

[Halibut: Greedy? Does Wumbolo have no knowledge of descriptive wording? He didn't even use it like an adverb like it's supposed to.]

[Jjs: Maybe "Greedy" is a new character, or he's asking Eugene Krabs.]

 

„I must go to bathroom.“ Eugene teases him.

 

[Jjs: Well, I guess that answers that.]

[Trophy: You tease someone by going to the bathroom?]

[Halibut: Once again, no knowledge of descriptive wording. I think Wumbolo just misread a half-assed PDF of a thesaurus he downloaded online.]

 

„Okay. Go.“

 

[Jjs: "But first, if you're going to get off, clean up after yourself!"]

[Halibut: Is John like Phil's babysitter or something?]

 

While Eugene really pretends to go to bathroom, Phil and John continue to discuss.

 

[Halibut: Pretends!? I can't take these twists! First, we find out when this group goes to a coffee house they don't actually drink coffee, and now this? Shyamalan is being given a run for his money.]

[Jjs: Well, this confirms my joke theory. Eugene better clean up that mess now...]

 

„Blah, blah, blah.“ John is angry at his friends.

 

[Trophy: OH NO, HE'S PEARL! RUN FOR IT!]

[Jjs: Someone must be a Kesha fan.]

[Halibut: Blah, blah, blah is what I can make of this whole spin-off because I can't understand shit.]

 

„You will be late on our hangings!

 

[Trophy: OH COMMISSIONER GORDON!]

[Jjs: Wait...what? Is this implying what I think it is...?]

[Halibut: jjs, I do not think he's implying anything. I think it's fairly obvious this group of vague-named people are suicidal Satanist cult leaders.]

[Jjs: With Michael Jackson's ghost being in the group, that seems like a fair guess. False alarm then.]

 

You! I think you were somewhere else. You thought it was 10 AM when you came here, but you still look suspicious.“ Phil starts to doubt.

 

[Trophy: How does he look suspicious? Is he wearing dark grey or a trench coat?]

[Jjs: Wait, who is Phil actually talking to here? I know it was between John, but this is so vague that "You" could be anyone. It could even be....us.]

 

„Nah. Bye. I wanna go try that new fast food restaurant.“

 

„Hey! You are stupidly lying! Don't go! I know where are you going! I know you have a secret!“

 

[Halibut: Stupidly lying, eh? I need to make a list of adverbs Wumbolo is using horribly wrong.]

 

John is already down the street. Phil thinks that he lies. Eugene comes back.

 

[Trophy: I don't even... I can't process this.]

 

„What happened?“

 

[Jjs: What everyone said after reading this.]

 

„John has a secret.“

 

„What secret?“

 

[Jjs: He knows this spin-off is a piece of shit.]

 

„I don't know.“

 

[Trophy: If you're the writer and don't know, then we'll never know... HEY THAT HAPPENED!]

[Halibut: This story is harder to follow than... I can't think of a metaphor that isn't tasteless.]

 

„You yelled at him?“

 

„He didn't hear me anyways.“

 

[Halibut: Maybe telling the reader who's saying what every once in a while at least would be refreshing.]

 

„You know that he'll now maybe change his secret a bit, because he heared

 

[Jjs: I heared Grammer Police's brain fried fram some dun dummed grammer eh]

[Halibut: I heare people booing over this when reading it.]

 

that you mentioned a „secret“? The secret will remain the same but it won't have exact details.“ Michael finally notices.

 

„I agree.“ Says Carlos.

 

„I must go home now.“ Says Phil. „See you tomorrow!“

 

„Okay, bye!“

 

The next day afternoon, ...

 

[Jjs: So we skipped to the next day, and then skipped to the afternoon? Cool, double time skips. Bikini Top should've taken a note from this.]

[Halibut: Zero words.]

 

A: They start worrying about John not being at time.

B: They play football.

C: They believe that John's not their friend anymore.

D: They all play Minecraft.

E: They are at internet a bit longer. They surf about SpongeBob SquarePants, a character that they see on TV more and more. (note: this choice will be about SBC)

 

[Jjs: I pick none of the above, just like I'm sure nobody did with this strange, strange spin-off. This spin-off was just so half-assed and confusing that it makes me wonder how seriously you can take Wumbolo's writing. This was terrible, but yet...it's inoffensive. It is probably the worst thing we've riffed, but yet it's hard for me to really dislike it. Mostly because it's hard to tell if Wumbolo was trying or not, and maybe he had planned for it to go somewhere, but I guess we'll never know. I never read the show this apparently used characters from, but this didn't do a good representation of them. Also, this show has a pretty damn misleading title, because I saw no gloves at all! So, what's next? Well....apparently, this now brings us up to episode 99 of Riffing Theater. That means....next episode is grand episode 100! What will be riffed? Stay tuned....]

[Trophy: *sees B and tries not to think of The Room to give jjs ideas* So, that's how this ended huh, well nobody probably cared anyway.]

[Halibut: This spin-off was hard to riff. It was just hard. It was given so dangerously little effort that in some parts I literally had no clue what was going on in the spin-off. Time was terribly paced, adverbs were misused in the most abominable ways, the dialogue was scrambled, and the quote marks just upright bother me. Where were the occasional SpongeBob characters that Wumbolo promised in the very beginning? All I got was a group of, once again, vaguely-named people who little to no personality whatsoever. I can only imagine what would've happened if this thing ended properly.]

 

Epilogue:

 

*Jjs is seen in a meeting room with the two JRT producers.*

 

[Producer #1: Alright jjs my boy, the 100th episode is going to have to be a big one. You're going to have to riff the shittiest spin-off in existence.]

[Producer #2: We're talking, absolute, total shit!]

[Jjs: Sounds pretty bad. But what is there to do? We've done Sponge's Atlantis, we've done SOF's Exciting Critic Corner, we've basically attacked all the infamous shows by this point.]

[Producer #1: Maybe you could do one of 66ers tv.com spin-offs.]

[Jjs: Nah, most of the tv.com shows are only two sentences, that doesn't give us much to work with.]

[Producer #2: How about Total Cartoon Island?]

[Jjs: Eh, that'd give everyone headaches, and I don't feel like paying for aspirin.]

[Producer #1: How about one of your own works?]

[Jjs: ....]

[Producer #1: Well, I'm just tossing something out there! You gotta take risks!]

[Producer #2: We can brainstorm more tomorrow, let's call it a night.]

 

As all three leave the studio, a strange black car approaches jjs as he walks down the sidewalk. The window rolled down to show two shady black figures.

 

[???: Come with me if you want to live...]

[Jjs: Wait, what. Is this really happe-]

 

A sack is then put over jjs' head and he is thrown into the car, as it drives away...

 

TO BE CONTINUED...?

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

As an early Christmas present from me, here's the first episode of SBC Parallel Universe, which is also...

 

THE 100TH EPISODE OF JJS' RIFFING THEATER 3000!

 

1. Spam Parade

Spoiler

[News Reporter: BREAKING NEWS! ONE WEEK AGO, JJSTHEKID, ADMIN OF SBC, FAMED CREATOR OF RIFFING THEATER 3000 AND STORM RACERS, HOST OF JEOPARDY, AND MUCH MORE, HAS GONE MISSING! We are unsure of his whereabouts or the circumstances behind his disappearance. The community is in shock and panic over this mystery. He also disappeared right before JRT was about to riff its 100th episode. Is this a part of the celebration, or is it something more? Stay tuned for updates-]

[Trophy: Will you shut up already? I mean seriously, this is all we can have?]

[News Reporter: Well, we've got nothing else to do, so...]

[Trophy: SO WHAT!??! YOU'VE GOT NO EXCUSE HERE! *viciously attacks reporter so hard that this has to show up because it's more appropriate* 

5QJyrf5.jpg?1

]

 

...

 

Jjs is seen waking up in a mysterious, messy and small room. The bag had been removed from his head and is seen in front of a camera, but tied up in a chair.

 

[Jjs: Ugh....where am I? What happened?]

 

The two mysterious men from the end of Episode 99 enter the room, with masks on.

 

[Jjs: You guys! Why did you kidnap me? Are you guys the producers in disguise? Oh, is this a part of the 100th episode? Funny prank guys! So, what are we riffing?]

[Mysterious Man #1: YOU aren't riffing anything. You have been held prisoner by us for a week, and you are missing the 100th episode of your precious show.]

[Jjs: YOU VILE FIENDS! You can't do this to me! The riffers need me for the 100th episode!]

[Mysterious Man #2: Not anymore. If you are going to be released, we're going to make you suffer a taste of your own medicine. We want revenge, and we will force your riffers to...riff one of your own works.]

[Jjs: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, MYSTERIOUS SHADY MEN! Why are you doing this?!]

[Mysterious Man #1: We'll explain more in time...but first...]

 

Mysterious Man #1 puts ducktape over Jjs' mouth and turns on the camera. At the Riffing Theater studio, many riffers are seen in the lobby wondering how to save Jjs.

 

[sOF: I got it, let's build something to save Jjs!]

[steel: Let's take the studio and push it somewhere else!]

[CDCB: I say we tip something over...wait, I'm not even a riffer anymore. See ya alligators later. *walks out of studio*]

[Wumbo: I say we need someone with a degree in Wumbology! Hey, I know I'm not a riffer anymore either, I just wanted to make a Wumbo cameo...oh forget it. *exits studio as well*]

[CNF: I say we do a clip show! Oh wait, wrong topic.]

[Clappy: Okay, something is seriously up. Why would Jjs disappear around the exact same time for the 100th episode?]

[Hayden: I'm going to laugh if this is all a prank by jjs for the 100th episode.]

[Producer #1: I swear, this isn't a part of the 100th episode. Jjs has gone missing.]

 

The TV in the room turns on and shows Jjs tied up, as everyone gasps.

 

[Mysterious Man #1: If you want jjs back, then you will do what we ask.]

[Metal Snake: Um...what's going on here? o_O]

[CNF: You bastards! If I knew where you were, I swear I would-]

[Mysterious Man #2: Jjs is in our posession, and he is safe...for now. For the 100th episode, we're taking over. If you want him back alive, you are all going to riff one of Jjs' shows.]

[sOF: WHAT A TWIST!]

[Producer #2: We're not associating with terrorists. How did you even get yourselves on this tv anyways?]

[Mysterious Man #1: Our identities are confidential. If you ever want to see him again, you will riff....SBC Parallel Universe, the so-called "best literature" from this man.]

[sOF: Hell no, SBCPU was good!]

[Clappy: Yeah, I'm just assuming these are two anti-SBCers. We're not giving into your demands.]

[Mysterious Man #1: Then it looks like you'll never see him again. You will never know where he is and the site will go in chaos...]

[Producer #2: FINE, WE GIVE IN!]

[JCM: are you insane]

[CNF: Can we fire him?]

[Hayden: Can I take his position if we do?]

[Producer #1: I hate to say it, but we don't have much of a choice. If we want jjs back, we may have to riff this.]

[Mysterious Man #1: Excellent. The more you riff this show, the more you will know who we are and why we are doing this. Jjs will be returned alive if you comply. Farewell.]

 

The TV turns off, as everyone stands confused and shocked in the room.

 

[CNF: Maybe we should've just done a crummy clip show...]

[sOF: ew no, that korra clip show was terribal]

[Hayden: Well everyone, welcome to Jjs....or rather, Hayden's Riffing Theater 3000!-]

[Trophy: HEY WHO PUT YOU IN CHARGE?! *tackles Hayden*]

[CNF: U GO GURL! SWING FIRST!]

[Hayden: THOU WHOM SWING FIRST, SHALL QUENCHETH THINE THIRST! *viciously bites into Trophy's nec..tarine*]

[Clappy: Okay...on "Jjs'" Riffing Theater 3000, we have no choice but to riff SBC Parallel Universe, what is considered to be jjs' best work. Is it? Well, I liked it from what I remember, but we'll see if it holds up. I admittedly didn't read it in its entirety when it was popular, so I'll have an unbiased view here. It's still the 100th episode, so we'll try to make jjs proud and do the best we can. And hopefully we can get some forced celebrity cameos.]

 

Season 1

 

1. Spam Parade

 

[Halibut: This is one hell of a parade.]

[CNF: Spam. Spam everywhere.]

[Clappy: Well that title doesn't bode well.]

[Hayden: They'll have parades for just about anything these days, won't they?]

 

One night, WhaleBlubber called up his friends WoodHammer126, BigSteamPile and SquareBob 65. He had a plan for them.

 

"We're going to spam up SBC!" demanded WhaleBlubber.

 

[Halibut: Good for you considering you tried many, many times.]

[CNF: Will you spam more poop everywhere?]

[Hayden: *gasp* WhaleBlubber is just as dastardly and daring as I remember him!]

 

"You do know we will fail again, right?" said SquareBob 65.

 

[Trophy: Well, we're off to a wonderful start... SquareBob 65? Are these real trolls or did he really half-ass these names?]

[CNF: Great way to promote confidence, keep it up!]

[Clappy: And why should anybody be intimidated by dialogue this unmotivating?]

[Hayden: If he knew that, then why would he be putting together a plan? More like Dunderhead 65 if you ask me.]

 

"If done correctly, it won't," said WhaleBlubber. "Here is what I propose. We will each make accounts each day. On Monday, WoodHammer makes an account.

 

[Clappy: Gasp!]

 

On Tuesday, BigSteamPile makes an account.

 

[Clappy: Double gasp!]

 

On Wednesday, SquareBob makes an account.

 

[Clappy: Triple gasp!]

 

Last but not least, I make an account on Thursday, which will end with a bang!" said WhaleBlubber.

 

[Trophy: Or just have a wild party by banging everyone... wow, this sounds so wrong already, what is wrong with me? :P ]

[Halibut: Who knew WhaleBlubber plans his attacks so elaborately! This is apparently World War II.]

[WhaleBlubber: On Friday, we rest. On Saturday, we go to a strip club. On Sunday, we execute Plan Z...and that's it. Never thought I'd get this far.]

[Clappy: And by elaborate, you mean he is just going to help boost activity? That's what I love about trolls. Even in non-existent lit form, they plan to make spam accounts....for what purpose? It just helps the site increase in activity and membership because it just fires up users like SOF to try and tell them off but to no avail does it actually work in their grand scheme of things.]

[Hayden: Stupid trolls. At least we can rest safe and sound in the knowledge that I will never boost this site's activity. Unless....being a part of this riff is going against that duty of mine at this very instant. What have I done?!]

[Announcer: DID SOMEONE SAY "BANG"? WELL, HERE'S POINTLESS CELEBRITY CAMEO #1....ARIAANNNNNNNAAAAA GRANDEEEEE, WITH JESSIE J AND NICKI'S MINAJ'S BANG BANG!]

[Ariana Grande: IMMA SHOW YOU ALL HOW TO GWADUATE:

]

[Nicki Minaj: Now I bet yall fat ass bitches in the mothafuckin club wanna hear about my Anaconda-]

[Announcer: *Nicki is escorted out by guards* I think that's enough, let's continue with the riff!]

 

"Hmm, interesting. You know, this could work!" said WoodHammer.

 

[Trophy: I highly doubt it.]

[Hayden: Way to POUND that positive attitude into the team WoodHammer.]

[Halibut: WhaleBlubber's fans will so obviously work.]

[Clappy: ....but what is his plan besides make accounts? What are these guys purpose anyway except to just be yes men?]

 

"You're always positive about things," replied BigSteamPile.

 

[CNF: You're just as pessimistic as SquareBob over there.]

[Hayden: At least WoodHammer has his own unique trait. He's not a TOOL like you guys.]

 

"Leave me the hell alone, you pile of -"

 

[Clappy: Shit. He was going to say shit.]

[Hayden: Mhm. I think you NAILED it Clappy.]

[Trophy: STAY BACK DEMON, WITH POWER OF HOLY WATER, THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!]

 

"STOP FIGHTING!! Come the hell down WoodHammer!" yelled WhaleBlubber.

 

[Trophy: Since jjs is the only one who knows the police hotlines, I guess I'm making the calls here...]

[Grammar Police: Do you mean: calm the hell down]

[Halibut: Hey kids, calm over here for some free candy.]

[CNF: Yeah, "calm" over here for grammar lessons. ;) ]

[Hayden: Maybe WhaleBlubber was just scared WoodHammer would come in an upward direction thanks to all that sexual frustration.]

 

"Okay, fine. I suppose you are right, we need to be positive to each other to do this," said BigSteamPile.

 

[CNF: Ye have seen the error of your ways...oh wait.]

[Clappy: To do what? Answer SBC profile questions like what's your favorite SpongeBob character?]

 

We cut to Wednesday. All of WB's henchmen have made accounts.

 

[CNF: Warner Bros. has henchmen now?!?!?!]

[Hayden: Aw. We were barely even walked through this master plan. :( ]

 

They have been posting regularly, but also been making odd posts.

 

[Clappy: Which means they are posting archive bait circa 2011 SBC.]

 

Fellow member Fa grew suspicious when BigJoe123 (WoodHammer) bumped the thread regarding sharks. Then, BigSteamPile posted in the spambox poop about a thousand times.

 

[Grammar Police: Did you mean: posted poop about a thousand times in the spambox]

[Halibut: While the jump the shark joke was actually pretty awesome on jjs's part, isn't that what the spambox is for? Pretty sure you're sorta encouraged to post fucked up stuff in it. It's called SPAMbox for a reason.]

[Hayden: I don't want to live in a world where BigJoe123 cannot post about his appreciation for HAMMERhead sharks without judgment being cast upon him. :/]

 

"WhaleBlubber, is that you?" questioned Wumbology as he replied.

 

[Clappy: Thank you for your somewhat unnecessary blandness.]

[CNF: Because he's totally gonna tell you his true identity by just asking]

[Hayden: Ace Detective Wumbo on the job. Already has the right suspect pulled out of his ass but the wrong face in front of him.]

[Halibut: Foreshadowing at its finest, ladies and gentlemen.]

 

"Haha, I am just random," replied BigSteamPile.

 

[CNF: I told yah he wouldn't spill.]

[Hayden: Nice to meet you random. But what about your last name?]

 

" :angry:  :oB)  :rolleyes:  :unsure:   :ph34r: " replied Elastic in the thread.

 

[Halibut: I kind of doubt Elastic would post that... anywhere.]

[Clappy: Back in 2011, Elastic would probably just post something about Fritz the Cat.]

[CNF: ELASTIC IS A SPAMMER, CALL THE SPAM POLICE! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uedw5flJ9M8 ]

[Hayden: A face is worth a thousand words. Which is why six of them is an impossible combination to unlock.]

 

Then, WB joined under the account BigFang. He posted in the introductions topic, and acted normal. However, that70sguy92 checked his IP to see if he was a spammer or troll. He checked WB's henchmen and got no results since they hadn't joined SBC before. 70s checked his and...

 

[Clappy: Well, this whole section is awkward because....recent discoveries....70s was (supposedly) 2011 WhaleBlubber....]

[Hayden: Well, 70s ought to check himself before he wrecks himself.]

 

"Shit, it is Sharky," said 70s. But it was too late. Him and his men began to spam the site to oblivion.

 

[Halibut: Too late? How is it too late to ban these guys? It must be a really difficult process.]

[CNF: Well, you could spam so much that you can't get the banning tools to work.]

[Hayden: The important question to ask is if it's Thursday yet. If not, WhaleBlubber's carefully laid plan could be in shambles!]

 

CF and Clapmaster were the only mods online at the time, so it was difficult to clean up.

 

[Clappy: And that's funny because out of those two, I would have been the only one cleaning up.]

[Hayden: Well, that's good karma, because now CF has to clean up CDCB's act. His comedy routine that is.]

 

But luckily, ExKizuna was also online along with 70s and tvguy. ExKizuna banned Sharky's account before he could post a link to meatspin.com.

 

[Trophy: meatspin.com exists? I THOUGHT IT WAS A MYTH!]

[Disclaimer: We at Jjs' Riffing Theater 3000 are not responsible if you go to the provided link above.]

[Halibut: Well to be frank Trophy, on a scale of 1 to 10 on the Shock-o-Meter, it's only a 5 to be honest. That doesn't mean you should see it, though.]

[CNF: Spin me right round baby right round like a record player...I will never forget that song now.]

[Clappy: You mean Ex wasn't on the XAT talking about anime with ZBF?]

[Hayden: Has Ex not linked that on the XAT before himself?]

[Announcer: If we're talking about spinning, it's time for the next pointless celebrity cameo....HEREEEE'S FLO RIDDAAAAAAA!]

[Flo Rida: Yo dawgs, y'all probably have forgotten this song by now, but I exist, and this song exists, so:

]

 

"Take that bitches!" yelled Ex as he swung his banhammer at them.

 

[Halibut: I would love to see Ex swinging a visual banhammer at these guys. Somebody needs to draw it out.]

[CNF: That would be so damn cool. I want a banhammer man.]

[Hayden: Never bring a WoodHammer to a BanHammer fight.]

 

"So..is that the last of them?" asked tvguy.

 

"Will sharky poo ever get a clue?" said Clappy. "Hey, that rhymed."

 

[Trophy: ...So I really liked this back then? I'm doomed.]

[sin Against Comedy Police: Rhyme is not a crime, but it should be used within reason, and this line is treason.]

[Hayden: I think we can all give a clap or two to that magnificently sharp wit Clappy was able to display.]

[Clappy: *groans*]

 

Then, WhaleBlubber made another account known as BigMeatyPoop and quickly made a thread that stretched the page. He was then banned after he posted it. But, he stretched it so long that it began to make a virus.

 

[Trophy: Wut?]

[Halibut: That's pretty impressive. A page so long, it creates a virus out of thin air. Team Rage should've used this to their advantage by now.]

[Hayden: Two accounts?! IN ONE DAY?! STICK TO THE PLAN MAN. IT'S NOT EVEN FRIDAY YET. OR THURSDAY EITHER FOR ALL WE KNOW.]

 

"Um guys, why is the entire page gone?" asked Sabre in the OT Lounge.

 

Just then, the background turned blank. A black hole began to appear on the Spongebob Twitter widget and a freaked out tvguy looked through it.

 

[Clappy: Wait....someone actually used the SpongeBob Twitter widget back then?]

 

"I see other users in there!" he exclaimed.

 

[Halibut: Wow, it's one thing to make a virus out of thin air with your spamming, but creating a black hole is some next-level shit. I laughed out loud from how illogical this is.]

[CNF: It's called a literature for a reason man.]

[Hayden: You spin me right round baby right round like a record baby...wait, were we still on that Flo Rida cameo? Dangit, now I can't get it out of my head!]

 

70s, Ex, and Clappy also looked through and saw the users. The users were...odd.

 

[Clappy: SpongeOdd.]

 

They were just shadows. Everyone then logged off and went to xat.

 

[Halibut: Who knew black holes with shadowy figures inside had access to SBC? Neil DeGrasse Tyson was wrong about everything.]

 

"The fuck was that?" asked Elastic.

 

"The users looked familiar," said jjs.

 

"I noticed one of them looked like a few of our users," said Steel.

 

[Clappy: Users....looked like our users....and by that you mean they had similar profile pictures?]

 

"Well, I don't want to know what it was," replied 70s. "Now, let's move on and pretend it was a dream or some glitched ad."

 

[Halibut: So a black hole popped up on your guys' screens and you guys brush it off? How professional.]

[Hayden: That's just 70s for ya Halibut. Trust me, you missed much darker times than that black hole.]

[CNF: My question is - what the fuck happened to SBC?]

[Announcer: Speaking of having a dream, time for our last celebrity cameo, here's....NELLY!]

[Nelly: Y'all probably forgot I still exist, except for my dope ass remix I did with Florida Georgia Line! Well, if you forgot who I am, here's a little single that'll make the mood:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6O2ncUKvlg ]

 

Meanwhile, we see WB talking with his gang.

 

"Ah ha ha, we sure hacked them there Spongeheads hard!" yelled SquareBob.

 

[Clappy: And by hard you mean...posting?]

[Hayden: Spongeheads wins the insult of the year award. Though I'm not sure how anyone's brain is able to soak up this drivel.]

 

WB then went to spam a baseball site

 

[Trophy: Oh FUCK YOU TOO JJS!]

[Hayden: At least he's moved on from spamming anything significant.]

[Halibut: Just imagine a bunch of diehard baseball fans being together in space just debating about which is better, the Dodgers or the Twins.]

 

when suddenly, the same portal appeared again and his gang were sucked through it.

 

[Trophy: I know this is a fanfic and all, but I really need the Logic Police. Time to make a new hotline for this mess... *calls them up on time for the next episode*]

[Halibut: So yeah, obviously, this is not the worst thing ever riffed, but wow is it fun to riff. It's so cheesy and dated, it's kind of glorious in how bad it is.]

[CNF: Dun dun dunnn...

 

So overall, I kinda actually liked this, surprisingly. Some stuff I could pick apart, but overall it wasn't terrible. Certainly better than most of the shit we've done for the past 100 episodes. Welp, thanks for having me for the 100th episode! Wish jjs could have been here though...we will get you back man, just hold on for a little longer...]

[Hayden: WhaleBlubber would guest star in this, the scoundrel. Not our worst but also not the work of an adult mind. (Which reminds me, even I have some riffing material tucked away) 100 episodes is a milestone that Total Drama, the Avatar franchise, iCarly, Ben 10, Hannah freaking Montana and an onslaught of other things I cannot recall have reached. This may not be on the same scale of grandiosity or even generate a dime for the time, but damnit criticism is still its own reward. Here's to many more riffs and many more obnoxiously terrible pieces of typed literature. Oh and the safe return of Justin. I hope those monsters aren't staring at him!]

[Clappy: Honestly, this was more vague than anything else....probably part of the reason why I don't remember this as well as others did. So even if I don't riff this as much as other users will, I'll certainly be tuning in to see if any of this will click in my memory banks. Until next time Riffing Theater, until next time.]

  • Like 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

SBC Parallel Universe Season 1

2. Meet the Opposites

Spoiler

2. Meet the Opposites

[Trophy: This better be a good Christmas Eve present.]
[steel: SBCPU, that lit, huh? How bad can this be? Jjs is also still missing. I'd love to leave this theater and search for him, but I guess we're stuck here under the mysterious men's demands.]
[Halibut: Trophy, don't get your hopes very high up.]
[sOF: Ugh, do I have to-]
[Mysterious Man #2: *appears on theater screen* Remember, jjs' fate will be determined by your cooperation. You better riff SBCPU, and riff it good if you ever want to see him again. *episode comes back on*]
[sOF: *sigh* Well, okay. I loved SBCPU when it was popular, but we'll see how it holds up. A bit of harsh irony jjs goes missing just when he is announced as SBC's next leader. Those shady men truly are evil.]

Steel Sponge logged onto SBC the next day.

[sOF:
]

He noticed nothing looked odd. He then noticed he got a new PM from someone.

[Trophy: A user who wasn't even on back then? Wow. http://www.thesbcomm...r/2801-someone/ ]
[Halibut: The fact there's a person on SBC called Someone is just perfect.]

He thought this was strange since him, Sabre, and Fa were the only ones online at the time. He didn't think any of them would PM him for anything. He checked his messages and the portal from last night appeared!

[sOF: And that kids, is why you don't open mail from someone you don't know.]

"Okay, I am going to find out once and for all what this about!" he said.

[Grammar Police: Did you mean: what this is about]
[Trophy: Once and for all? You just saw this, so...]
[steel: And he's off to figure out what "this about" is.]
[Halibut: Steel, it's you talking. You should know what was going through your brain.]

He clicked the portal and then he acted odd. He was sucked inside his computer and into the odd portal. He then awoke in an odd place. It was strange, he was in a forest of some sort.

[steel: If only my internet could do that. I wouldn't even mind being transported to Ferngully.]
[Halibut: These last 4 odd sentences are odd.]
[sOF: I just hope he's not Sponge Odd. Haha, get it? GET IT? *gets tomatoes thrown at* Aw fishpaste.]

"Where am I?" he said to himself.

[Trophy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBjwMSIC7ik ]
[steel: Sorry Trophy, but this would sound more accurate:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1tj2zJ2Wvg ]
[sOF: Time to bring back a one-off riff gag, which I coincidentally also used for the SECC SBCPU episode...
"There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone.]

He looked around and continued to walk through the path. Just then, someone tapped on Steel's shoulder.

[steel: I don't remember Someone tapping me on the shoulder in this story....]
[Halibut: Someone has a great character in this story. I hope she has more spotlight later on in the lit.]

"Aaaah!" yelled Steel. It turns out, it was Fa and Sabre.

"You were sucked into this odd place too?" questioned Steel.

"Yeah, I got a weird PM," said Fa.

"So did I," said Sabre.

[Trophy: HOW COINCIDENTAL!]
[Halibut: I feel that there should be a conclusion made about all of this.]

All three walked along the path.

[sOF: We're off to see the wi...I mean, mysterious place!]

Just then, they spotted what appeared to be a city. There was yellow and blue buildings.

[sOF: Only yellow and blue? Is this city a fan of the St. Louis Rams?]

The buildings were internet sites! One of the buildings said Music.com. Another building said AvatarBuddy Mania.

"Avatar Buddy Mania? Sounds like SBM," said Steel.

[Trophy: Yeah, because the 2008 KCA's so made Avatar SpongeBob's opposite... LOGIC POLICE!]
[sOF: Sorry Trophy, but I have to object. To be fair, Avatar winning the KCA's caused a huge war between SpongeBob fans and Avatar fans, so I can see jjs' logic here. Moving on...]
[steel: Logically, just about any other Nicktoon could be the opposite of SBM, even Fanboy & Chum Chum. *boo* *hiss*]
[Halibut: Wait, is this supposed to be a diss to SBM? If it is, then it doesn't make sense.]

"Music.com sounds like a knock-off of tv.com," replied Fa.

[Halibut: For extra effect, make the staff of Music.com people who aren't assholes.]
[sOF: Also, make the site actually active.]

"I know this sounds crazy, but with if we are in an opposite world?" inquired Steel.

[Grammar Police: Did you mean: but what if we are in an opposite world?]
[Trophy: Also, I swear, do I need to make a "Jumping to Correct Conclusions Out of Nowhere Police" too, or make them a branch of the Logic Police?]

They walked into the city. Just then, a man walked up to them.

"Hi, I'm Wood Sponge!" he greeted them.

[steel: Weird how "Wood Sponge" sounds sexual once you think hard about that.]
[Halibut: The funny part is that there's an SBC member called "Wooden Steel".]
[sOF: How much wood would a wood sponge chuck if a wood sponge would chuck wood?]

"Wood Sponge? Okay, I really think we are in an opposite world!" said Steel.

[M. Night Shyamalan: WHAT A TWIST!]

"Hold on, I am writing ideas for a new episode of G-Storm," he said.

[steel: Can't wait to hear from Aries Sun, O-Zone Survivor AC Style, and A.A.N.G. Determination either.]

All 3 then walked away. Just then, they bumped into another person.

"Hi, I'm Familyguyfa. I love Family guy!" said FamilyGuyFa.

[steel: NO WAY!]
[sOF: Crazy talk, I assumed he loved The Simpsons!]
[Halibut: I love how all the people in this lit refer to themselves as their username no matter what. No sharing of actual names in any way whatsoever.]

"That sounds like Southparkfa!" said Sabre.

"Um hi," replied Fa.

Another user walked up known as SabreAang (aka Circle Robot).

"Hi, please call me Circle Robot now," SabreAang/Circle Robot said.

"That is a copy of my new name Boxy Robot!" said Sabre.

[Trophy: NO FREAKIN DUH!]
[steel: Yeah, wait until Sabre sues your arse off.]

"This is getting creepy," said Fa.

"Welcome to our universe!

[Trophy: When did you know about them being from an opposite world exactly? LOGIC POLICE, BRANCH OF CONCLUSIONS!]
[sOF: I think that would be a PLOT HOLE POLICE actually, but it's not a big issue. Maybe they know that time/space travelers are real, it's not the craziest thing to happen. Moving on...]

Want me to show you 3 around?" asked Wood Sponge.

[steel: He's gonna give them the "wood."]
[Halibut: I don't need to see that.]
[sOF: He's gonna bring it around town.]

"Uh, sure," said Steel.

[sOF: Didn't they just look around earlier? Are they trying to find Waldo or something?]

"Well, this building in front of us is Music.com, a site dedicated to Musical toons! The forums are VERY active.

[sOF: Well, now it is definitely an opposite of tv.com.]

Over here is Britainbricks, a site dedicated to Legos. Then we have AC, the Avatar Community. It is rivals with AvatarBuddy Mania as well." Wood Sponge explained, touring them around.

"A lot of those places sound like sites in my other world," said Steel.

"What world?" asked Wood Sponge.

[steel: Looks like Steel's said too much, we're in for some trouble.]
[Trophy: BUT YOUR FRIEND SAID WELCOME TO OUR UNIVERSE, WEREN'T YOU RIGHT THERE!??! LOGI- uhh, REDUNDANC- err no, well, I'm lost on what police to call here, since some of them haven't been used in a while.]
[sOF: I think that would be INCONSISTENCY POLICE! Sorry jjs, but I gotta agree with Trophy with here. I guess these opposites must have Critic SOF amnesia.]
[Halibut: If I were to go to a universe like this, I'd probably kill myself.]

We then see two more users enter the world. It is Elastic and Ex.

"Where the fuck are we?" said Ex.

[sOF: Where the FUCK is that fourth Chaos Emerald?]

"Seems like quite a bland place," said Elastic.

Will they survive in the opposite world? How will they deal with these opposites? Stay tuned..

[Trophy: Do I have to?]
[steel: I wanted to go bowling!

However, despite some logical points Trophy made, this is pretty good so far.]
[Halibut: They deal with the opposites the same way I deal with insects. A shitload of poison.]
[sOF: I still enjoy SBCPU, but it does have some problems. We'll see how the rest goes, and I hope we get the safe return of jjs...]

  • Like 8
Link to comment
Share on other sites

SBC Parallel Universe Season 1

 

3. Opposite Jumble

Spoiler

3. Opposite Jumble

 

[sOF: Here we go, episode 3! In the mighty jumble, the opposites sleep tonight...]

[Halibut: Welcome to the jumble, kiddos.]

[Rusty: Dun dun dun.]

[steel: I jumble, you jumble, he, she, me jumble....]

 

2 more users went flying into the opposite world, which were Old Man Jenkins and JellyFishJammer.
 

[sOF: I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky! For extra lulziness, I suggest people imagine OMJ and Jelly flying into the world as a superhero duo of some sort.]

[Halibut: Hmm, I can see OMJ with wings.]

 

"W-Where are we?" wondered Jelly.

 

[Rusty: Either Paducah, Kentucky or Bikini Top. I'll vote for Paducah.]

"This place looks like something from my dreams," said Old Man Jenkins.

 

[steel: His wet dreams?]

[sOF: I have a dream...that one day, I will visit a strange world with opposites of SBC members.]

[Halibut: OMJ obviously has some fucked up dreams...]

 

They walked along a path and saw a garden. Jelly picked up some flowers, but someone grabbed her hand.

 

[sOF: Wait, picked up the flowers? Did she just pick them up, or did she rip them straight from the ground? If the latter, then that's a little rude...]

[Rusty: There's a law against picking flowers here, madame.]

"Stop right there!" said an unknown opposite.

 

"Who are you?" asked Jelly.

"I'm PeanutButterBammer!

 

[steel: Destroyer of faulty peanut butter brands!]

[sOF: IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!]

[Halibut: I feel ashamed that I first read that as PeanutButterGamer.]

 

I hate the Beatles, but I love New Kids on the block," said PBB.

 

[steel: Despite not knowing who Jelly is, she just automatically replies with this. I'm guessing this is supposed to be her catchphrase?]

 

"You hate the Beatles?!" gasped Jelly.

 

[Rusty: Yes, didn't she just establish that.]

"Sorry, we have our opinions," said PBB as she ate some peanut butter. "Wanna play New Kids on the Block monopoly?"

 

[steel: I'm still wondering why PBB would conveniently talk to Jelly. I figure she wants to talk to her, but she does that by expressing her opposite taste?]

[Halibut: New Kids on the Block Monopoly... I cannot grasp the sheer weirdness of that.]

"No thanks," said OMJ.

We see somebody planting crops.

 

[sOF: If it's the same person Jelly stole flowers from, she's in trouble. Off with her head for attacking those innocent flowers!]

[Halibut: Is somebody the opposite of the user Someone?]

[Rusty: If it is, I need to call the Antonym Police.]

 

They walk up to Jelly and OMJ.

 

[sOF: "Somebody" turned into "they" awfully fast. Looks like we're going to have a public stoning for Jelly's terrible crime now.]

"Howdy, I'm Young Man Jenkins," he said.

"Wow, he is younger than me," OMJ pointed out.

 

[Halibut: No shit.]

[steel: And they're completely void about this.]

"Wanna play Life?" he asked. "Or watch very old TV shows that are in black and white and are ver-"

 

[steel: I'm already playing Life right now.]

[sOF: Ironic enough, I think it would be the other way around for OMJ/YMJ, but I guess it's not worth nitpicking.]

"Oh dear lord, this person is so boring," said OMJ.

 

[Halibut: I don't know, playing Life sounds like an adventure to me.]

[Rusty: I sometimes watch old TV shows to riff and practice my Crow impression.]

 

"Hey..are we in an opposite world or something? Their names are similar to ours," said Jelly.

 

[Halibut: I can't believe she took so long to realize this.]

[steel: Really, how does "opposite world" easily get to the top of the heads of these members in this story?]

[sOF: Wow, Trophy was right. We really need to make a "Jumping to Correct Conclusions Out of Nowhere Police". While it's a reasonable guess, it does seem a bit out of nowhere for Jelly to randomly decide this just based on names.]

 

"I don't care who or what they are, I'm getting out of here," said OMJ.

 

[sOF: Door's right over there OMJ. I hope you have better luck escaping this lit than we've had riffing it.]

[steel: And then he went home.]

 

The 2 walked away and bumped into Ex and Elastic.

 

"You guys are in this fucked up place too?" said Ex.

 

"I like this place. It's so bland," said Elastic.

 

[sOF: Accurate summary of this episode so far.]

[Rusty: Agreed.]

[Halibut: I don't know, this universe does seem interesting... yet stupid.]

 

Elastic then noticed the building known as music.com and went there as soon as possible.

"Get back here!" yelled Jelly.

 

[steel: "I'm gonna rip you a new one!"]

[Halibut: Since when was Jelly Elastic's nanny?]

He went inside. He looked through their music forums and selections. He was hoping they had a Butthole Surfers forum, but since this was an opposite world they have never heard of it.

 

[sOF: NCEX9te.jpg?1]

 

He created an account for music.com. He then met a user there known as Plastic. Elastic knew he sounded similar to him, but unfortunately, he didn't get what he hoped for when he learned he and everybody else has never heard of The Butthole Surfers due to it being an Opposite World.

 

"Okay, this site has terrible music taste. I'm out," said Elastic.

 

[steel: And then Elastic went home too. Enjoy your SBC members that are already tempting to be leaving this story.]

[sOF: And that's our story folks, Elastic left! Good night!]

[Rusty: *Cue SNL closing music*]

He was expecting to be banned. But he wasn't.

 

[M. Night Shyamalan: WHAT A TWIST!]

"This place seems less harsher than a place called tv.com," said Elastic. "Eh, maybe I'll stay."

 

[steel: I wonder what their TOS' would look like. Probably just a thank you card.]

[Grammar Police: Less... harsher... do we need to say it?]

"Tv.com?" asked a user named AvatarOddFan.

 

[sOF: Not much to riff here, but funnily enough, I binge-watched Avatar and Korra not too long ago, thus making my opposite is a bit inaccurate now, but oh well. It's as if jjs predicted the future with this. :P ]

 

"A site from my world that sucks. Also, your name sounds like a user named SOF from my world," replied Elastic.

 

"Well, I love Avatar. I love 4Kids, but I hate WBA," said AOF.

 

[Rusty: Is this guy an opposite of me as well? I bet he has insomnia, THAT BRUTE!]

[steel: I don't know guys....I think I've run out of ideas to riff. I'm out! I'm done! I'm sorry... *leaves theater* Yet...we still have to save Jjs. Could the series be finished without my support?]

[Announcer: Yes, and you shall contemplate your memories of who made Riffing Theater important for you. And we've got pointless celebrity cameo Sarah Mclachlan to benefit. Now let's see you feel!

]

[steel: Aw, what am I doing? *kicks door open and returns to theater.*]

 

"Wow, you are exactly SOF's opposite!" said Elastic. "And with spectacular grammar, too."

 

[Halibut: shots-fired.jpg ]

[sOF: Heh, I'm not offended by this line, but I am a bit confused on why AOF didn't reply to this at all. Not only that, but if I were AOF, I would probably think Elastic is a bit crazy if these opposites don't know they are in an opposite world. Looks like this world will never deny a guest, even with the most ridiculous stories.]

 

Meanwhile, we see WhaleBlubber and his gang stuck in a forest.

 

"Where are we?" wondered WhaleBlubber.

 

[sOF: I have a feeling we're going to be seeing this question a lot...]

Before he could continue, him and his gang were tied up in sacks and put onto a wagon. It drove away.

 

[sOF: And that kids, is why you always make sure there's no people with sacks and wagons behind you when you enter a bizarre, foreign world.]

[Halibut: A wagon? What is this, 1820?]

[Rusty: Ah, a Red Rider BB....wait, that's a gun.]

[steel: Hey guys, I decided to return to riffing this!]

[Halibut: Good to see you still have the spirit to work with us, but we're almost done with this episode.]

[steel: Those guys could breathe inside those sacks, right?]

 

"Help! Get us out!" yelled BigSteamPile.

 

[Rusty: NO!]

[steel: Alternatively speaking, MMMFFHMMFHFFMMMM! Anyways, this lit is still looking good for me. Though, I wouldn't say that this was as exciting as I remembered, at least from the start.]

[sOF: "Help" is an accurate representation of how we and jjs feel right now. So yeah, so far this is bringing back some nostalgia, and I can't say I dislike it, even though it does feel a bit lacking in some areas. I just hope it picks up soon before I run out of riffing material. See you soon, folks.]

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Good riffs. Also, after reading this and episodes 4-9 in preparation for my riffing, all I have to say is...wow. Look below if you want to see some future gold...

 

Spoiler

Episode 4:

 

The 2 began to get into a villain fight. WhaleBlubber shot spam. Massan tried shooting him. WhaleBlubber dodged a lot. He was fast. In the end, WhaleBlubber managed to punch Massan in the face. Massan escaped though and said," We will meet again, fool."

 

Episode 5:

CDCB sat there in despair. For once, he was angry. He then jumped up and pushed GDGB.

"Get the fuck off!" he yelled.

The two began to fight hard-core.

 

 

Episode 7:

"You failed me...the people from the other world are still alive.." Massan said, cracking his fist.

"They grew suspicious!" he whispered.

"You could have killed them at least. Beat them up or something.."

 

Episode 8:

 

"The man who killed CDCB was none other than Massan Najwa," said Blubber.

"Who?" asked Fa.

"A mass murderer wanted in this world. He sent out a clone of CDCB to impersonate him and he ended up killing both."

"Dang," said Steel.

"Hold on, we don't know if this is real or not," said Fa.

"It is. My men were killed by him. We had a dreadful encounter with him yesterday," he said.

"Hmm...I guess that explains why your friends aren't here," said Fa. "I believe you...but if you pull any funny stuff, I'll hurt you so bad!"

 

Episode 9:

 

"80s...70s?" questioned a confused Wumbo.

We seen an officer named Mumbology who doesn't care when two opposites litter.

"Whatever," he replies.

 

I don't mean to insult jjs, but I'm sorry, I'm starting to find SBCPU to be really cheesy now. It's so corny it's funny to me. :P

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

SBC Parallel Universe Season 1

4. Captured!

Spoiler

Jjs is seen looking at a tv in his room, and just finished marathoning the riffs of 1-3.

[Jjs: Traitors, scum! I can't believe they would riff one of my own works, without me! I'm so proud...yet, so betrayed!]
[Mysterious Man #1: *walks into room* Well, if they ever want to see you alive again, they have no choice.]
[Jjs: Can you just let me go? I can gladly riff SBCPU-]
[Mysterious Man #2: No, you must stay.]
[Jjs: Also, why do you guys keep knocking me out?]
[Mysterious Man #1: Just to make sure there's no struggle, which is why we used the knock-out gas on you for a week. Now then, don't give us a hard time, we need to get back to planning.]
[Jjs: Er...did you guys do anything to me during that week-]
[Mysterious Man #2: Enough! But before we go, I'll say this: The key is in your literature...*both leave room*]
[Jjs: Ugh, I gotta warn them somehow...but how? Wait...these idiots left me untied...*digs through pocket and pulls out a remote* Aha, I still have the Jjs-Bot remote!]

Hayden is then seen alone in the Riffing Theater, ready to riff Episode 4.

[Hayden: So...I'm the only one riffing? Wow guys, how rude. Oh well, I've always wanted a solo riff...in this dark, empty, room. I miss jjs.]

*The Jjs-Bot is the seen rolling into the theater*

[Hayden: What the? What is jjs' robot doing here? That just makes me miss him even more. Is this my riffing partner? Well, it'll have to do...]
[Jjs-Bot: Hayden, it's me, jjs.]
[Hayden: wait wut. Have I gone mad?]
[Jjs-Bot: It's actually me, jjs. I'm speaking to you through this robot. I still had the device for it in case of emergencies, and yes, you can go ahead and call the ASS PULL POLICE, but whatever. The producers programmed a function for me to speak through a mic on this remote for the robot.]
[Hayden: Wow, that's so cool, yet so needlessly complicated. So, did you escape from the kidnappers?]
[Jjs: No, I'm still stuck in a room. I basically know nothing about them or where I am, other than they hate me, and that a "key is in SBCPU". I am also FURIOUS you all decided to riff one of my own works without me. *pinches Hayden*]
[Hayden: OW! Sorry bro, but we had no choice.]
[Jjs: I am proud though, you learned a thing or two from me. I have to admit SBCPU isn't that great looking back, and it does have some issues.]
[Hayden: You don't say. I mean, "When will Sharky poo ever get a clue"? Really? What were you smoking?]
[Jjs: I did say I don't think it's that great anymore, and I've had these thoughts long before I ever decided to riff it. So yeah, let's get this riff started, as I don't know how long it'll take for those men to get back here.]

4. Captured!

[Jjs: Ironic, considering my current status.]
[Hayden: You couldn't have planned it better had you tried.]

WhaleBlubber and his gang ended up in an odd house. They were in someone's basement. They heard footsteps.

[Jjs: Someone can't make up her mind if she wants to be in this lit or not.]
[Hayden: Why is someone's basement inside Kan's house?]

"Who's there?" asked WoodHammer.

"Let us go!" demanded WhaleBlubber.

[Hayden: Yeah, because saying that ALWAYS works. My how the mighty sure have fallen.]

"You are not going anywhere..."

[Jjs: Now this show is just taunting me...]

"I am Massan_Najwa," he replied.

"Your name sounds like this user from SBC named Hassan. He wrote some cool fanfics," said Square Bob.

[Hayden: Well, don't go overboard with painting a picture here. Obviously Hassan has no other traits or can't at least have one of these fanfics of his name dropped.]

"That's nice, if I actually cared," he replied.

[Jjs: Whoa, someone's a badass.]
[Hayden: I'm kind of with Massan on this one.]

"Don't be a dick," said WoodHammer. Just then a bullet entered WoodHammer. Massan put away his gun.

[Jjs: RIP WoodHammer. Episode 1 - 4. Died of rude behavior.]
[Hayden: WOODn't you know it? Massan was the one to put the final NAIL in his coffin.]

"Oh my god, you killed him!" yelled BigSteamPile.

[Jjs: You bastard!]
[Hayden: At least we can always cherish his final words and how much of an impact they clearly had on Massan.]

"What do you want? Why did you kill one of my men?" asked WhaleBlubber.

[Hayden: I'm sure WhaleBlubber has many more men tucked away in his closet.]

"In case you idiots haven't realized...I am a wanted outlaw in this town!" replied Massan.

[M. Night Shyamalan: WHAT A TWIST!]
[Hayden: That didn't really answer the question though. WoodHammer was just trying to help you turn your life around.]

WhaleBlubber knew they had to escape. But instead, they decided to ask him questions.

[Jjs: Pfft... coming from the creator, I have to admit this line is really contradicting and lulzy. These two lines can also sum up ATTWL 3 pretty nicely.]
[Hayden: Smart call Blubby. The escape can wait until he has shot more bullets into your heads for daring to blink in his direction.]

"What did you do?" asked BigSteamPile.

"I robbed a few stores, like I banned a few people from music.com. But of course, this whole plan was arranged by my master..."

[Jjs: He robbed a few stores just like he banned people from music.com? Strange comparison...I can only imagine how a scenario like that would've went...

*Massan is seen breaking into a grocery store with a gun*

Massan: Alright, put your hands in the air, and put the money in the bag! Don't make me ban any of you!
Cashier: Wait...ban? What are you talking about?
Massan: JUST DO IT!
Cashier: *puts money in bag*
Massan: Good, now all of you don't do something silly like call the moderators or anything! But of course, this was all arranged by my master, hehe. Toodles!
Customer: What the hell?]
[Hayden: This plan of his master's seems very connected. I'm sure killing WoodHammer instead of banning him was also vital. Is Massan the new Hersht?]

"Who would that be?" asked BigSteamPile.

There was a slight hesitation.

[Jjs: IUx9fZA.jpg?1 ]

"Are you with the cops?" asked Massan.

[Hayden: Yes, a guy named BigSteamPile sounds like an extremely professional law enforcement officer.]

"No, we are just curious," asked Square Bob.

"I've also killed some people," said Massan.

[Jjs: No way, I wouldn't have gathered from him killing WoodHammer earlier. I'm also not sure why Massan is just randomly telling trolls from another world this info, unless he is confident he is going to kill all of them.]
[Hayden: Thanks for all the fun facts Captain Obvious, but you seem to be continually avoiding of actually answering questions. At least you aren't killing them every time they ask one....]

"Wonderful to know," said WhaleBlubber.

"Now...you weirdos stay put. I am arranging my next plan," said Massan.

[Hayden: You mean your master's next plan? Seriously, you didn't even tell them you weren't going to reveal who that is to them. You skipped over it entirely. And if you told them that you killed people after killing their friend right in front of them then you must be aware they aren't cops that are going to narc on you.]

"What are you going to do with us?" asked WhaleBlubber.

"Hmm...that I haven't decided. You were walking throughout my base. This house is hidden within the many trees," replied Massan.

[Jjs: Hidden within trees? Is Fortree City in this opposite world now?]
[Hayden: Wow, a house surrounded by trees, never heard of one of those before.]

"Although.."

"Although what?" asked Square Bob.

"I do have some plans for you. I am letting you go," he said.

[Jjs: Well that was fast.]
[Hayden: This is getting pretty damn close to the lulzy logic of villains in Bikini Top.]

"Are you serious?" asked WhaleBlubber.

"...after you escape the forest!" yelled Massan as he knocked the 3 of them out. They awoke in the forest.

[Jjs: Massan sure changes his mind awfully quickly. I'm assuming he is just trolling with them at this point. Trolling the trolls is a genius plan.]
[Hayden: He's either really indecisive or has a few screws loose.]

"I'm watching you..."

[Hayden: From inside a tree I presume? Creep.]
[Jjs: Great, looks like Massan also owns the Trick House in this opposite world...]

"Who was that? Massan?" asked Square Bob. Just then, a bullet shot at Square Bob.

[Jjs: RIP SquareBob. Episodes 1 - 4. Died of obliviousness.]
[Hayden: No, it was the Gingerbread Man. NOW PERISH!]

2 down, 2 to go.

[Jjs: Looking back, I don't know if this countdown was very necessary. Plus, who is even saying this? Steve and Hobo from the Bus Station?]
[steve: Yeah, nothing wrong with keeping count since readers are obviously too stupid to figure it out.]
[Hobo from the Bus Station: I did it because your old self promised me a dollar, and I still never got one. :( ]
[Hayden: The Master is counting.
The-Master.jpg ]

"Now, we have to stay together," said WhaleBlubber.

"Agreed," said BigSteamPile.

Just then, BigSteamPile pulled out a knife and tried to slit WhaleBlubber's neck.

[WhaleBlubber: *gasp* BSP, I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL?!]
[Hayden: Never trust a pile of shit kids!]

WhaleBlubber shot spam at him and his mask flew off. It was Massan.

[Jjs: ...Shot spam? Does WhaleBlubber have a spam gun or something?]

"I killed him too and pretended to be him!" chuckled Massan.

[Jjs: RIP BigSteamPile. Episodes 1 - 4. Died of impersonation. That now raises some creepy questions... what did Massan do to them while knocked out? Just like how I wonder what those men did to me while knocked out...just creeps me out thinking about both scenarios.]
[Hayden: I think I know where the mask came from.....What horror movies were you watching back then jjs? o.o]

"You're going down! You killed my crew, now I want revenge," said WhaleBlubber.

[Hayden: What an emotional climax we've had set up. With all those important characters dying like, um, uh...what were their names again?]

The 2 began to get into a villain fight. WhaleBlubber shot spam. Massan tried shooting him.

[Jjs: Lol...shooting him with what, exactly? Another spam gun?]
[Hayden: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTbuqQdV4ag ]

WhaleBlubber dodged a lot. He was fast.

[Jjs: I'm getting bad memories from Arianna's "training montage" in Bikini Top Episode 26.]
[Hayden: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKnHYcSG9Po ]

In the end, WhaleBlubber managed to punch Massan in the face.

[WhaleBlubber: You know what? Fuck this, I've had ENOUGH! *runs up and punches Massan in the face*

...Last ATTWL 3 reference, I promise.]

Massan escaped though and said," We will meet again, fool."

[Hayden: You gave up after one punch? *claps* Outlaw of the ages folks, apparently he can only kill people in the cheapest ways possible.]

He disappeared.

[Hayden: So he's a magician now too?]
[Jjs: The Wild Massan fled!]

"Great, I am all alone," said WhaleBlubber.

[Jjs: tumblr_l725p2ymNJ1qaqps8o1_500.png ]
[Hayden: You're used to that by now Blubby.]

He walked off, saddened at his losses.

[Jjs: And that's all folks, WhaleBlubber lost! Good night!

Yeah, coming from the creator, this is a bit embarrassing looking back...but it does have some comedic value to it. As Metal Snake said, the biggest problem is that the dialogue is definitely corny and awkwardly written, not to mention the awkward abrupt endings every episode has. While this was definitely where the show started to pick up with its plot, I feel like it didn't go anywhere until the 2nd half of Season 1. Might as well throw that out there now, since I don't know how much longer I can use the Jjs-Bot. Thanks for the help Hayden. Hopefully I can escape and return to riff more episodes...]
[Hayden: Well that's one way to ring in 2015. Massan's motives made no sense, and it's fine if jjs didn't want to reveal too much too soon but the way he worded Massan's lines came off flawed. WhaleBlubber's henchmen turned out to be utterly useless as well. The only one I cared about was WoodHammer, and that was primarily because of all the puns I was able to make. I guess we'll see in future episodes if this brand of villainy continues to remind me of Bikini Top. It was certainly not the worst episode thus far, but perhaps the chapter should have started off with this forest escape battle so that it could build momentum and suspense and have Massan seem more threatening than his extended dialogue made him out to be. Escape as fast as you can jjs so we can make sense of this....]

Epilogue:

Jjs is seen finishing his riffing statement, when the two Mysterious Men walk in and confiscate the remote.

[Jjs: Aw crap.]
[Mysterious Man #1: *destroys remote* You have been a very bad boy. No more TV for you, and you're going to be tied up again. Got that?]
[Jjs: It was fun while it lasted...sigh, okay. :( ]

Jjs sat there, tied up, and saddened at his defeat. Wah wah wah.

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nice riffing for that episode, it got better and better as it went on. And yeah, it is kind of spooky that this lit is providing callbacks to Bikini Top and ATTWL 3. Hell, it even makes me recall some of the silly stuff I wrote in my works. XD

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

SBC Parallel Universe Season 1

 

5. Writing The Fool

Spoiler

[Trophy: *just seen entering the studio after the last episode* IDIOTS! THEY HAVE NO IDEA ON HOW TO POINT OUT EVERY DETAIL! *throws microphone through the window* I'M NOT PAYING FOR THAT!]
[Producer 1: Oh yes you will, and you won't get your pay for this episode either!]
[Trophy: Oh, just because I point out the truth, I can't express myself abo- wait we get paid?]
[Producer 1: We never gave you your paychecks? Oh no... *cue Scrooge McDuck jumping into his money*]
[Trophy: I always wondered how he really got so rich... but this is my show now!]
[Producer 1: Who do you think you are?]
[Trophy: I think I know who I am, and do NOT make me have to do a Shadow the Hedgehog reference here...]
[Producer 1: Well who am I to argue? You're the one who'll be suffering for me.]
[Trophy: PROVE IT!]


5. Writing The Fool

[Trophy: ...I hate my life. *starts drinking cactus juice*]
[OMJ: I came. Ladies, please contain your orgasms.]

[Rusty: The author's writing about himself!]

[JCM: "The Fool" was a pretty good novel I hear.]

More users entered the Parallel Universe. The people who entered were CDCB, Hassan and 4EverGreen.

 

[JCM: Their opposites are FunnyMan, StillHere, and ItAin'tEasyBeinGreen, respectively.]

 

"What's this place?" asked Hassan.

 

[Rusty: Obviously the Satellite of Love.]

"I don't know but I LOVE the scenery!" said 4EverGreen.

[OMJ: I don't see any crudely drawn cartoon dicks here.]

"You love stupid things," said Hassan.

 

"You are mean," said CDCB.

 

[JCM: "Yeah, I thought Canadians were nice!"]

[Trophy: Why did I have to lose connection with the chief of exposition?]

"I'll have you know I have a fantastic taste in things! Conker's Bad Fur day is the best video game ever." 4EverGreen boasted.
 

[OMJ: "And I only played it for twenty minutes! Enough said, true believers!"  EQWodpw.gif  ]

[JCM: Have you tried "there's no place like home"?]

 

"It would help if you two could actually say something that would help us get out of here.." Hassan sighed.

 

[Rusty: PARTAY!]
[OMJ: If this is how Hassan is, I can't begin to imagine how his opposit- oh wait, he seems like a dick too.]

 

CDCB then walked away, while 4EverGreen ran off when he saw a building that said "Short Writing Stories". Of course, he didn't see when it said Short.

[Grammar Police: Did you mean: he didn't see when it said "short"]

[OMJ: The place must be built with three sentence walls of text.]

"I'm here to enter!" he said.

 

[Rusty: Mr. Enter.]

[JCM: But little did he know that he was actually volunteering as tribute in the Hunger Games.]

 

He then pasted a story from an episode of Total Cartoon Action. He then met 4EverBlue.

 

[Rusty: That's what Bryan watched!]
[Trophy: Hold on, how can he paste a story when he's not even on a forum? LOGIC POLICE!]

"Hi, I'm 4EverBlue. :( "

 

"Why so sad?" asked 4EverGreen.

 

[JCM: Watch out, 4EverBlue. He might try to put a smile on that face. c8p2p2j.png Three movie references in a row! I'm really out of ideas!]

 

"I'm sad." 4EverBlue replied.

 

[Trophy: I shouldn't *headdesk* have lost *headdesk* connection with the *headdesk* exposition police! *headdesk*]
[OMJ: So sad, he wants to die...his name a different color.]

A judge came up and said 4EverGreen he was disqualified because you are supposed to write short stories.

[Trophy: Yeah, 3 reasons: He typed it, it was long, and he pasted it from god knows where!]
[Judge: I sentence you to move in with your aunty and uncle in opposite Bel-Air!]

[Judge: I used to be a Supreme Court justice, but now I'm reduced to judging short stories on the internet. What has become of my life?]

 

"Aw dang! This reminds me of the time when I walked into a-" 4EverGreen said, but he was cut off by the Judge.

 

[Rusty "-sexual torture chamber."]
[OMJ: Darn, cut off what sounded like a great set-up for an actual joke.]

"Run along now," said the Judge.

 

[Rusty: Oh, the British stereotypes, IT BURNS! IT- 

hqdefault.jpg ]

CDCB walked into an alley and met GBGD.

 

[Trophy: Oh no, not this cliche...]
[OMJ: DCBC would've sounded more rockin and rollin. Things that actually sound to be opposite CD. Aside from fantasizing about Max & Ruby, I guess.]

[JCM: GBGD? Great Britain's Greatest Detective! He's Sherlock Holmes! What a twist!]

[M. Night Shyamalan: WHAT A TWIST!]

 

"Hi, I'm CDCB. How's the weather?" he asked.

[Trophy: GO TO A TELEVISION AND LOOK AT THE WEATHER CHANNEL! OR JUST LOOK UP! YEESH, DON'T BE FAILING LIKE THE SEAHAWKS DID HERE BY FAILING TO LOOK UP!

 ]

[OMJ: Are you gonna ask about his sex life next? ...Or lack thereof?]

"Buzz off." GBGD replied.

[OMJ: This story sure is full of dicks. And I'm not just saying that because PeanutButter and Jelly are the only female characters so far.]

"How rude!" CDCB replied back.

 

[JCM: No, "buzz off" is British for "it's rainy outside".]

[Trophy: For such a short episode... THIS IS TAUNTING ME SO MUCH FOR THAT ACCIDENT WITH THE CHIEF!]
[OMJ: WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO RUUUUDE?]

"Don't tell me what to do, punk!"

 

[Rusty: I do what I want. 228.gif ]

[OMJ: If he weren't retired, he will.]

he yelled as he pushed him into a pool of water.

 

[Rusty: I'M MELTING!]
[OMJ: DO THAT!]

CDCB sat there in despair. For once, he was angry. He then jumped up and pushed GDGB.

 

[OMJ: Imma let you hulk out CD, but does this mean GD gets happy when gets pushed into a pool of water...or fire?]

[JCM: Is he GBGD: Great Britain's Greatest Detective or GDGB: A God Damn Gummy Bear?]

 

"Get the fuck off!" he yelled.

 

The two began to fight hard-core.

 

[Rusty: Hardcore porn.]

[JCM: He fights hard for a gummy bear.]

 

Will CDCB defeat GDGB? Find out in the next episode!

[OMJ: On Cinemax After Dark!]
[Producer 1: Had enough yet?]

[Trophy: Don't think I'm done with you... I still know what happened between you and the chief!]
[Producer 1: ...And you'd like your money from Scrooge McDuck, sir?]
[Trophy: PRONTO! *Producer 1 scrambles away to Scrooge McDuck* Hehe, sucker.]

  • Like 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[Trophy: I think I know who I am, and do NOT make me have to do a Shadow the Hedgehog reference here...]

 

Possibly the first pop culture joke Trophy made that I understood perfectly, no insult to him. :P OMJ also did good for his first time riffing!

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...