Jjs' Riffing Theater 3000

[Metal Snake]

Another good episode despite there not being much material to riff, and I wish you guys good fortune once again with the finale!

[kev]

What a great episode

[Jjs Goodman]

Finale time.

 

SOF's Exciting Critic Corner

 

1. SBC Parallel Universe

2. Eelz

3. Underwater Survivor: SBC Style

4. Robot Trout

5. SBCinema

6. Spin-Off Action: Reboot

7. SBC Therapy

8. SBC Mafia

9. Down Under

10. Noob Troop

11. Storm Racers

12. A Tribute to Sabre

 

13. The End of the Show (Or is it?)

Spoiler

[Jjs: Well everyone...it's time. No, not time for that, it's time for us to finish off SOF's "Exciting" "Critic" Corner. We have here today: Steel, Hayden, CNF, Wumbo, and of course, SOF himself. I'm not going to spoil too much for this one to new viewers, but let's just say you are in for a lulzfest. Clappy was right in his riff of Noob Troop that this episode basically defines the words "been there, done that". Now let's get started.]

[steel: Or is it? It was bound to come to end for good. We wouldn't want a SECC 2 now, right? But this better not give Past SOF ideas. I couldn’t really believe I missed my opportunity to riff Noob Troop, but I’m back again, and I have better plans with this episode.]

[sOF: Can't wait to tear my old self apart this time.]

[CNF: I hope it's as lulzy as I remember it!]

[Wumbo: Before we tackle what many consider to be an infamously, stupendously terrible end to a misguided lit, I'd like to pay a tribute of my own: SOF, this one's for you. Ol' Blue Eyes did it his way, and no one can say you didn't either.]

[Hayden: Oh boy, one episode away from season 2! *looks above* WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS MASTERPIECE IS GOING TO END?!]

 

We see SOF wake up, feeling tired, and get out of bed.

 

[Wumbo: Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs.]

[CNF: Sounds like me in the morning.]

[Jjs: I bet he's just tired from copy and pasting scenes of shows.]

[Hayden: He's probably getting out of bed for Saturday morning cartoons. That's the only reason for a Canadian to not sleep in.]

[steel: And…play me off Nelly!

But we’re only at the beginning, so I’m just warming up.]

SOF *confused*: Why was I in bed?

 

[CNF: Hmm, I don't know, I'm gonna need to think about that for a while.]

[Hayden: SOF normally sleeps on the floor, so this question is perfectly valid.]

[Jjs: I don't know, you tell me. Did you have sex with someone not mentioned? Or did you just forget all humans need to rest?]

[sOF: He should have had Jex instead, I can hook him up with a Bikini Top character to do it with.]

[Wumbo: Funny that Past SOF was confused by the only non-confusing part I've encountered thus far.]

 

Hmm maybe I was taken away or something.

 

[steel:….You’re kidding, right?]

[Jjs: Taken away by aliens, I bet. Now, why is this important at all? Are you reviewing today or what? Are you interviewing another person?]

[Hayden: TAKE ME AWAY, TO BETTER DAYS, TAKE ME AWAY, A HIDING PLACE...]

[CNF: Attention folks, SOF got raped last night. If you see him, contact this number: 1-555-DUMBREVIEW]

He went outside to find out what’s going on, and he sees a nearby studio.
 

[Jjs: What's going on? SOF just woke up from bed, there's nothing to be confused about. He's heading off to his Critic Corner studio...right? Right?]

[CNF: I repeat, call 1-555-DUMBREVIEW if you see this man...kid...horrible critic...whatever.]

 

"Hmm, since when was there a studio near my house?" SOF wondered.

 

[CNF: Since you started writing shitty reviews.]

[steel: The same reason why me and Ex were suddenly kidnapped by your executives.]

[Jjs: I wonder the same thing, is SOF's town named "Convenience Town"? Now seriously, it's your own studio, stop being silly. It's as if SOF forgot he was a critic because someone forced him to and this is going to spawn into a M. Night twist....nah.]

[sOF: Well, whatever is going on, he was sure forced into a confusing state!]

[Hayden: The studio must of been built overnight, it makes perfect sense.]

He went to the studio where we see a mystery director who is ready for the next episode with SOF.

 

[Jjs: Now SOF has his own director? I thought he was his own director? Plot twist! Don't worry, you'll be seeing many plot twists in this episode...ones that M. Night himself wouldn't even do. Alright, I've teased you guys enough.]

[Wumbo: If I directed this, I'd like to remain a mystery too.]

[CNF: If SOF doesn't know what this is, how does he know about directing the next episode? MINDFUCK!]

[Hayden: How do we know he's ready? Why didn't the director go to get SOF himself? What if Kan had walked off a cliff instead of to the studio because he thought he was a bird? There's a huge possibility that could of happened.]

SOF looked around and saw a sign that reads "SOF’s Exciting Critic Corner" on the studio.

 

[Jjs: On the studio? So the studio got crushed by a giant SECC sign? RIP SOF and Mystery Director.]

[steel: SECC: The Alternate Ending]

[CNF: ...nevermind, he's dead. Cut the phone line!]

 

“That’s funny, I don’t remember being in that show.

 

[Jjs: That's funny, I don't remember this being SOF's Exciting Amnesia Corner.]

[Hayden: Amnesia? Is that some kind of new Pokémon?]

[Wumbo: Funny, but not "ha-ha" funny. In other words, nothing's really changed.]

[steel: And I don’t remember subscribing to Fancy Living Digest either, what am I talking about?]

[CNF: NOW LISTEN HERE SON. I DID NOT PUT UP WITH 12 EPISODES OF THIS JUST TO HAVE YOU FORGET IT ALL! *hits SOF with frying pan*]

 

Maybe they think I’m trying to be the Nostalgia Critic or something.

 

[sOF: Surprise, but you already are!]

[Jjs: Now who could possibly think that?]

[Hayden: SOF's train of thought with all of this is perfectly believable.]

[CNF: You were, and we suffered because of it. REMEMBER SOF!]

[steel: With his name ALL OVER THE PLACE within the criticism and the style of this show itself, it should be as obvious.]

 

Something's definitely not right here." SOF said to himself.

 

[sOF: You don't say?]

[CNF: Something wasn't right ever since Episode 1.]

[Jjs: You got that right, SOF suddenly forgot about his own "critic" corner. What black magic is this?]

[Hayden: Something is amish here indeed. There's also something amiss.]

[Wumbo: Well, here it is. My fourth riff of this series, and finally we get a semblance of logic here. Only replace "something" with "a lot of things".]

[steel: And I’m still wondering what’s not wrong here.]

 

"Also, who is that guy? *points to mystery director* Hey, I’m here Mr. Director." SOF said.

 

[steel: It’s not polite to point, even to the man in-charge, Spin-Off Lorax.]

[Jjs: I thought you would have already noticed him, considering the line above. What, was he too faraway from your sight?]

[CNF: Remember jjs, Past SOF is blind.]

[Hayden: If SOF is so clueless, how can he see one person and immediately assume they are a director?]

“Ah SOF, you made it just in time. Ready for your next review for the season?”

 

[Jjs: Apparently not, because he forgot what his own show was about!]

[Wumbo: *sigh* Why didn't he ever ask US if we were ready?]

[CNF: I'm not ready.]

 

The Director said who was wearing a cloak suit of some sort.

 

[Hayden: This would of been nice to mention earlier instead of us just having to think Kan went blind and couldn't make out who the person was.]

[Jjs: A cloak suit? What, is he the Grim Reaper?]

[CNF: Where's Billy and Mandy?]

[sOF: No, he's the Terminator, and he's going to terminate this show.]

[steel: Must be somebody from the Hidden Underwater Triad, once again.]

[Wumbo: Ah, yes. There's no mystery when it comes to lines like this: Cliché City.]

“Uh, review?” SOF said, confused.

 

[Jjs: Was he speaking in Greek? He said review, which you have attempted to do eleven times in this series, and failed each time.]

[sOF: No, he was speaking French!]

[CNF: SOF speaks Canadianese.]

[Wumbo: Come now, jjs. Cut the man some slack. A review is a far departure from the usual content of this lit.]

[steel: Review. Verb. Examine an object with the intention of associating change if necessary.]

[Hayden: Well yes SOF, since you immediately started talking about Nostalgia Critic, a review ties in with your theory that you pulled out of your ass despite not remembering anything.]

 

“All I know is that I’ve been asleep or I have amnesia."

 

[Wumbo:  ]

[Hayden: Yes SOF, you remember where you live, your name, and that you apparently don't do reviews, so amnesia is a perfect diagnosis for yourself.]

[Jjs: Just gonna stop this to appreciate this line: "or I have amnesia" I'm not the smartest person in the world, but I'm pretty sure a person with amnesia doesn't think they would have amnesia...]

[CNF: ...what is this I don't even. *explodes*]

[steel: How do you know if you have amnesia!?]

 

Then SOF remembered some flashback where he saw some kind of watch swinging over his face.

 

[Jjs: A watch, the most important thing ever! They can tell time, are shiny, and can swing over SOF's face!]

[sOF: Wow, so a watch is the only important thing he can remember from his amnesia.]

[CNF: Hypnotized, just what I thought Watson!]

[steel: Watch Blast! HUAH!]

[Wumbo: SOF, SOF, can't you see? Sometimes your words just hypnotize me.]

[Hayden: This is so mysterious, I'll never be able to guess what's going on. Oh wait, that's just like every other episode of this show then.]

 

It could be a special watch but as the flashback ended, SOF's memory went blank again.

 

[Hayden: Special watch? Spoiler alert, but I'm pretty sure normal watches are still used for hypnosis. Sorry, had to let this cat out of the bag ahead of time.]

[steel:  …………… *deadpan* This is SOF’s Exciting Critic’s Corner, everyone!]

[Jjs: Dangit, the only thing he could remember was a watch. Better luck next time.]

[CNF: 

] 

[sOF: Dr. Claw: Next time, Inspector Gadget.]

“So what's going on?” SOF said to himself

 

[CNF: Duh, I don't know. Me stupid.]

[steel: And I say HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA…]

[Jjs: Oh, how we share your thoughts.]

“So are you ready to do this, SOF?” The Director asked.

 

[Jjs: No, because he has amnesia, remember?]

[Wumbo: Amnesia isn't a virus... but it sure is spreadin' like one!]
[steel: Do who? Do what? Answer, Mystery Director!]

[CNF: SOF: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?]

[Hayden: He must be deaf. Clearly SOF is more than ready to do this, despite him asking you out loud questions that would indicate he knows something is wrong with the scenario.]

 

“Um, I need to use the washroom,” SOF lied.

 

[CNF: You gonna fap, SOF? *smirk*]

[Wumbo: NO SOF DON'T GO IN THERE! I've seen terrible things happen in that washroom... mostly done by myself, but that's beside the point!]

“Oh, okay, go ahead," The Director said.

 

[CNF: NO NO NO HE'S JUST A CHILD HE ISN'T READY TO-dammit.]

SOF headed back outside of the studio.

 

[steel: IN THE BATHROOM!]

[Jjs: I love how the director didn't even notice this. His Grim Reaper hood must be covering his eyes.]

[Wumbo: C'mon now. You really expect an amnesiac to remember where the washroom is?]

[CNF: Director: Hmm, my client just went out the back way...must be using a tree.]

“First, I have figure to out who is behind all of this," SOF said, as he looked around the trailers and found the Mystery Director's trailer.

 

[sOF: Something's sure smelling, and I think it's a mystery cliché!]

[Wumbo: Great. Now this show has become the Trailer Park Boys.]

[Jjs: Who is behind all of this? It's you, silly. I have no idea who that Grim Reaper Director is, because to our knowledge, you've been the one doing all these reviews....or has he? I know I said I'd stop teasing, but it's so hard.]

[CNF: SOF confirmed for Sherlock Holmes.]

 

"Perfect spot to investigate," SOF said.

 

[Jjs: Investigate what? Investigate when the hell this episode will turn into a review, or actually make sense?]

[CNF: The Mystery Of The Terrible Summarizing Corner.]

[Wumbo: Yes, "investigate". You just have fun "investigating" yourself in there, Past SOF.]

[steel: Quite a bunch of knowledge Past SOF has for somebody who apparently remembers nothing at all.]

SOF went inside the trailer and saw some scripts from previous episodes of his show.

 

[CNF: I'VE STRUCK GOLD!]

 

“Wow, those are scripts that I was reviewing….but that doesn’t makes sense.

 

[CNF: I can concur SOF.]

[sOF: And is this important at all? Nope? *falls asleep then*]

[Jjs: Nothing makes sense in this episode so far.]

[Wumbo: "Wow, I remember... but now I don't remember."]

 

How can I be a reviewer if I don't any good reviewing skills?

 

[Wumbo: Now who told you that?]

[CNF: If I don't any? ...Wut.]

[sOF: *zzzzzzz*]

[Jjs: Ask the Nostalgia Critic. He'll give you great tips.]

[Hayden: You don't have to be good at something to do it Kan, just look at Taylor Swift.]

[steel: Well, that justifies a question for proper advice that could have been given out during the show in the first place now, doesn’t it?]

 

Hm, maybe there is something else I can find," SOF said, as he walked around until he stepped on something. He gasped when he picked it up.

 

[sOF: *wakes up* Did I miss anything important? Seems like I didn't, carry on then.]

[Jjs: What, did he pick up some sense?]

[steel: Did he step on a Lego?]
[CNF: Rock: Watch where you're going yah lazy bum!]

“That’s the same weird watch I saw earlier...” SOF said, as he looked closely.

 

[Jjs: I spoke too soon.]

[CNF: Watch: I'm gonna kill you, I'm gonna kill you..]

[sOF: Don't stare too close SOF, or you might get amnesia again...heh, spoiler I know.]

 

“My guess is that it is some hypnotist watch of some sort."

 

[Jjs: A hypnotist watch! The perfect thing every director's trailer needs!]

[CNF: Now available for 5 easy payments of 99.95!]

[Hayden: And of course this valuable watch is just lying on the floor, does that cloak suit not have pockets?]

 

SOF noticed some book on a table, so he read it.

 

[steel: And he stopped reading it once it was “War and Peace,” or some other crap like that.]

[CNF: SOF: Hmm Gone With The Wind...nah too confusing.]

[Jjs: Wow, the Grim Reaper Director sure loves leaving things out in public, only in Convenience Town. Also, SOF read it because it was just there? Would SOF read someone else's mail if it was just there?]

[Wumbo: Okay, Chandler. It's something you find in a director's trailer.

"A watch! A book! Another thing that SOF randomly notices, distracting him from the previous item!"]

 

He skips around some pages to find some clues. SOF began to read when he saw a page that interested him.

"As I was on TV.com, I vanished for some time...but I returned to the Off-Topic Lounge in July 2010."

 

[Jjs: This...is still a review, right? So far it feels like an attempt to parody all those "mystery/adventure SBC shows", and it's not doing it right, to say the least. In fact, time for a new police squad - RIP-OFF POLICE (1)! Considering everything SOF steals in this finale, I figured this would be appropriate. This whole mystery theme itself feels like And Then There Were Less, and a self-promotion of the fact SOF was going to do ATTWL 3 at the time. Don't worry folks, there's more rip-offs to expect...]

[CNF: Woo-hoo!]

[steel: Goodness, not these SBC/TV.com/etc. jabs again…]

 

“Return?” SOF said, “But why?” He continued to read.

 

[CNF: So you could fap to Phineas and Ferb porn of course!]

“I had gotten into a fight with tvguy347 and I decided to flee. I came back with a new account in 2011, but vanished again from that site.”

 

[Hayden: Was our director friend writing a biography? How convenient.]

[Jjs: RIP-OFF POLICE (2)! This journal nonsense feels like the exact same shit I did with thesuitelife's story episodes from SBC Parallel Universe.]

[sOF: I remember when mystery SBC shows were actually relevant. Is this relevant? Nope.]

[steel: When the finale seems to be rushed with these types of borrowed plot devices, it can't be good.]

[Wumbo: I think I almost feel like caring. Nope, just my foot falling asleep. Could we move on?]

SOF finished reading it. “I wonder who it was?"

 

[Jjs: Yeah, it's not like they could put their name at all in the book just for plot's sake.]

"This user must be from TV.com.

 

[sOF: Whoa, what makes you think that?]

[Jjs: Well no shit sherlock SOF, I wouldn't have guessed considering he said "As I was on TV.com".]

[CNF: No really? Totally couldn't have guessed that!]

[Wumbo: Detective SOF went on to deduce that the sun rose that day.]

[Hayden: Impeccable detective skills as always SOF, almost as good as Duck-tective's mystery solving skills.]

[steel: So, how many of these captain obvious moments did we have throughout the entire thing, again?]

 

Better take this," SOF said, as he grabbed the hypnotist watch.

 

[Jjs: Watches are the most important thing in this episode so far.]

[CNF: I'm beginning to wonder why I'm WATCHING this! heh tv humor.]

[steel: He hypnotizes himself, and SECC gets renewed for another season thanks to the Mystery Director, thus was a bitter end.]

"I think it’s time to have a little talk to Mr. Director," he said to himself.

 

[steel: That’s Mr. MYSTERY Director to you!]

[Jjs: Are you going to give him a half-assed interview like you did with Sabre?]

[Hayden: Of course Jjs, SOF will be half-assed when he does it.]

[sOF: Great, another interview. Will Past SOF actually ask anything important or beat around the bush?]

[CNF: So Mr. Director...how did you come up with the idea of this shitty fanfic?]

[Wumbo: "Hi, I was snooping around in your trailer for no good reason, and discovered a watch that I think I saw in a dream, as well as a book that contains a passage that may or may not apply to me. Care to explain your behaviour?"]

SOF headed back to the SECC studio.

 

[CNF: Thanks for that info SOF, totally didn't figure that out on my own. Time to call the Redundancy Department!]

[Redundancy Department: Redundancy of Redundancy Department would like to have a word with Past SOF in that cheap studio which is a cheap studio somewhere in Canada in a town on a block in a street.]

"Welcome back, SOF," The Director said. "Ready to start reviewing?"

 

[Jjs: No, because I still have amnesia.]

[CNF: GO AWAY I DON'T KNOW YOU.]

[steel: How long was SOF “in the washroom" anyways? The Director can’t seriously wait that long for such an investigation.]

 

"Actually, I wanted talk to you about something.." SOF said to the director.

“What is it?” The Director asked.

 

[Jjs: I want a raise. I'm not getting paid enough to make bad reviews, boss.]
[steel: When a female critic and a male critic love each other, they-]

 

“About this!" SOF said as showed him a hypnotist watch.

 

[Patrick: AAAH, HORRIBLE!]

[sOF: MY EYES!]

[CNF: BALD BALD BALD BALD BALD! MY EYEEEEEEEEEEEEES!]

 

"Now tell me...what DID you do to me?”

 

[Jjs: More like what are you doing with this episode.]

[CNF: More like this show belongs in the trash!]

[Wumbo: If this episode is a prelude to the entire series, then yes, Mr. Director. What did you do to him? And us?]

“I-I-I don’t know what you are talking about!" The director said nervously.

 

[Jjs: At this point, I don't think anybody does.]

[steel: And I don’t know where this show is headed anymore.]

[Hayden: Confrontational SOF is the best kind of SOF.]

[CNF: *sips cup of tea* I'm sorry, were you saying something?]

“Alright doc, spit it out. I want the truth…who are you, really?" SOF asked.

 

[sOF: He should stay a mystery if he is directing this show.]

[steel: That’s MR. Doctor Mystery Director to you!]

[Jjs: Was it that hard for you to ask him this earlier?]

[CNF: When did SOF become Bugs Bunny?]

[Wumbo: Doc? What, now Looney Tunes is getting the copycat treatment? Of course, you know, this means war!]

“Very well then.." The director said as took off his cloak suit to reveal...

 

[Wumbo: Dude, put that thing away. There are like, children here!]

[Jjs: Get ready folks for the second worst twist in SBC spin-off/lit history. What's the first? We'll save that for later...but now, get ready for your "What a twist!" lines.]

[CNF: WHOA WHOA THERE PARTNER...oops]

[sOF: M. Night twist in 3...2...1...]

 

woahwoah678.

 

[Jjs: 

]

[Hayden: Um yeah...who is that again? Obviously a user like me who may have never heard of him before will not have a hard time knowing who the hell he is.]

[CNF: Call JCM now!]

[sOF: Plankton: HOLY PLOT TWIST!]

[Wumbo: Woah. Woah. WOAH. What?]

[steel: (And allow to me make my call back from my H.U.T. quote)…DARN IT, WOAHWOAH!]

"You? You’re the director? But that’s impossible!" SOF said.

 

[sOF: I'll give him some credit for not using WhaleBlubber...but using woahwoah might be ten times worse.]

[CNF: The story goes that Steel captured woahwoah for his show, and made a deal with SOF to lend him for his review show. But woahwoah managed to wake up from his hypnotization and hypnotize SOF!]

[Jjs: Oh, it's possible. Because SOF wanted a cheap way to throw the blame on someone else's shoulder so he could stop getting flak for these episodes. Unfortunately, he failed to realize this is fiction.]

[steel: Well certainly, it can’t be as impossible once you realize I pretty much saw this coming, speaking from the creator of Woahwoah Reviews, the MAIN INSPIRATION, and current old shame, of SECC from start to finish. I’m just starting to wonder whether or not most of the time Past SOF was usually nabbing his own ideas through Woahwoah Reviews, with the whole shticks, criticism style, guest cameos, and all that jazz that I’ve been doing until I decided to cancel it, while reading the spin-offs/lits about 1/3 of the time by just copying, pasting and scene cueing all that dialogue that we suffered through. But it can’t all be like that, there’s more shapes of things to come from what he’s ripped off…]

“Yes, it is I whoawhoa678, YOUR director!” woahwoah laughed.

 

[Jjs: RIP-OFF POLICE (3)! This whole inclusion of woahwoah might as well be as well some attempt to parody Woahwoah Reviews, considering that gave SOF the idea for this. Sadly SOF fails to realize making woahwoah the villain is a horrible twist, because he had zero build up and was crammed in just to again, throw the blame on someone else's shoulders. Also no, don't say Woahwoah being included in that Episode 5 commercial was a hint, because I doubt you were planning this then, as SECC wasn't critically reviewed back then.]

[Wumbo: Whoa. WHOA. It's woahwoah. Not whoawhoa. Whoa.]

[steel: Whoawhoa678, you say? Oh pffft…nevermind, I guess I got the wrong address or something.]

[sOF: Someone should rename this finale to "SBC Show Parodies", stat!]

“But why?” SOF said. “I mean, I thought you vanished from TV.com."

 

[Jjs: RIP-OFF POLICE (4)! No, he didn't vanish from TV.com. You're basically just using suitelife's story from SBCPU and just replacing suitelife with woahwoah. A SOF twist in a nutshell. In fact, this whole "dramatic reveal" could basically be the damn same way suitelife revealed himself, as well.]

[steel: Didn’t we all vanish from TV.com?]

[CNF: If we keep calling these guys, SOF is gonna have to be cut up in fourths just to serve his time in 4 jailhouses!]

“Yes, I did. But I returned as I was able to work on my plan by creating a new series for the terrible SBC site.

 

[sOF: Wow, you're a true mastermind!]

[Jjs: Man, he must have had so much time to plan that out.]

[steel: And he used SOF as the victim? YOU FIEND!]

[Hayden: This is the best revenge plot I've ever heard of. Miles ahead of hacking the site, flaming it, or trolling it, make a bad literature that barely anyone might read, that will inflict terror.]

[Wumbo: Oh, you devious fiend! How dare you tarnish the idea, development and reputation of SBC with... a bad lit? Whaleblubber is a better villain.]

 

I believe I found the perfect user to be the star or I shall say "horrible reviewer",

 

[CNF: Correction: Horrible SUMMARIZER, bitch!]

[Jjs: Huh, a self roast. Too bad SOF did it the wrong way here.]

[Wumbo: I too enjoy the comedy technique of self-deprecation... although I'm not very good at it.]

[steel: Woe is me!]

 

which is why I choose you!” woahwoah explained.

 

[Jjs: Pikachu, I choose you!]

[Hayden: PIKACHU, USE THUNDERBOLT ON THIS AWFUL SERIES FINALE!]

[CNF: 

] 

 

“So you used me for this all this time?” SOF asked.

 

[CNF: 

]

[Jjs: What gave it away? The fact he just said he chooses you?]

[sOF: Yes, he used you to pick up his weekly groceries.]

[Wumbo: Hey, just be glad you weren't used for land development. THAT'S not nice.]

“Indeed, and I hypnotized you to act like you are NC," woahwoah laughed.

 

[Hayden: But SOF was acting nothing like Nostalgia Critic. I think that watch is broken, you need a refund.]

[Jjs: Man, hypnotist watches are used for such crazy schemes nowadays.]

[Wumbo: Well, you didn't do a very good job. You forgot to make him witty, insightful, funny, and thorough.]

 

“It would be my perfect revenge plan ever. I stalked SBC as well, which is why I made you review SBC spin-offs and lits."

"You what?!?" SOF gasped.

 

[CNF: What is so hard to understand man?]

[Jjs: He stalked SBC as well, which is why he made you review SBC spin-offs and lits. SOF can't even understand his own characters.]

[steel: Yes, he has done a thing no generic noob/troll Lit character has ever done before.]

“Yes!” woahwoah laughed.

 

[sOF: Was Woahwoah on laughing gas? Seriously, he has to laugh every time he says something evil!]

“Wait, that doesn’t add up. Why did you make me do Tv's Terribly Terrible Sunday anyways?” SOF asked.

 

[steel: Because it wouldn’t be like the Nostalgia Critic without all the “constructive criticism” put in.]

[Jjs: Oh for goodness sake's SOF, now you're just trying to throw even more off your shoulders. Woahwoah didn't make you do it, you did it on your own for payback at tvguy. Woahwoah didn't make you do this show, either....wait a minute, PLOT HOLE POLICE (1)! How the hell does SOF remember Tv's Terribly Terrible Sunday?! Did he just get his memory back for this exposition?!]

[CNF: SOF was smoking pot while writing this, HE THOUGHT IT WAS REAL!]

[Wumbo: Well, this doesn't add up, how you made me review spin-offs. First off, why'd you make me review spin-offs? Answer that one, smart guy!]

“Well, I used my hypnotist watch to hypnotize you to act rudely about tvguy’s works, since I hated him due to that incident back in July 2010,” woahwoah explained.

 

[Jjs: Man, using SOF to coincidentally hate tvguy's works!]

[CNF: You son of a bitch!]

[Hayden: SOF, hate tvguy by yourself like a man, that's what I'm doing, and that's why I have chest hair.]

 

"He made a mockery of me!"

 

[CNF: Someone has too much free time.]

[Jjs: Oh boo hoo! Tvguy mocked me, so let me hypnotize SOF to horribly review shows and mock tvguy's to ruin SBC!]

[steel: Blah blah blah, genericness, Woahwoah, evil plot, moving on…]

"So you are the one who caused all this controversy for SECC, and to make the users hate me?” SOF said.

 

[Jjs: Now who said we hated you? The only person who caused controversy for SECC was none other than...you, SOF. Plot twist!]

[CNF: It's all your fault, SOF. ALL OF IT!]

[Hayden: Sorry to beat you to the punch Jjs, but PLOT HOLE POLICE (2)! How does SOF remember getting any flak at all if he had amnesia?]

[steel: Hate you over a lolworthy literary work? You might have spilled a lot of salt over for that blurb.]

"Exactly!” woahwoah678 answered.

"Also, this whole show was just…a setup?” SOF asked.

 

[Jjs: That's funny, I thought this was the finale, not a repeat of SOF's interview with Sabre. Sorry Metal Snake, but I think SOF's questionare with woahwoah has officially turned into the bridge keeper questions from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.]

[steel: WHAT…is the air-speed of an Unladen Swallow!?]

[Wumbo: YEEEESSSS, YEEEEESSSS, IT'S ALL A SETUP, WOAHWOAH HYPNOTIZED YOU, YOU ABOLISH ALL RESPONSIBILITY. CAN. WE. MOVE. ON?!]

 

“Correct!” woahwoah678 answered. Now we don’t have time to do a little interview, it's time for you to review..Post Fiction!” woahwoah said.

 

[steel: SECC: The Lost Episode.]

[Jjs: I don't know what I'd prefer: A summary of Post Fiction or this cliché mystery.]

[CNF: Lulz mystery or another boring summery of a show I haven't read yet. Hmm...]

“No! I won’t join you!” SOF yelled.

 

[sOF: Darth Vader: Join the dark side, Luke..I mean SOF.]

[Jjs: Join Woahwoah, he has cookies...and a plot twist.]

[CNF: SOF...I am your father.]

“You must now!” woahwoah laughed.

 

Woahwoah grabbed the hypnotist watch and tried to hypnotize SOF.

“NOW SOF, look at me!” woahwoah laughed “You’ll review Post Fiction, got it?"

“I-I-I," SOF said, as he was struggling to get out of the trance.

Then SOF thought of an idea.

 

[CNF: Lightbulb.]

[Jjs: Was his idea inflatable pants?]

[steel: How did SOF think of an idea while his mind was going to be washed out anyways? My mind itself is screwed over through this logic!]

[Hayden: A better idea would of been to make sure he didn't grab the watch, SOF.]

“Hey woahwoah, if you let me go I’ll review Post Fiction,” SOF said lying.

 

[Hayden: ...but if he hypnotizes you, he can probably squeeze out another 12 episodes before you're smart enough to know what's going on.]

[Jjs: Hooray, using one of the most cliché lines in a kidnapping scenario ever!]

[steel: This episode finale was already a cliché flash flood.]

[sOF: Award for "Most Cliché Line" goes to...]

[Wumbo: Hey woahwoah, if you don't make me do something, then I'll do it for you. Seems legit.]

“Really?” woahwoah said.

“Sure,” SOF said.

“All right then,” woahwoah said, as he cancelled the trance.

 

[Wumbo: Worst villain ever? Yes, yes it is. Worst. Villain. EVER! Woahwoah just fell for the oldest trick in the book. Are you shitting me sideways? I'm surprised he didn't hypnotize himself by accident!]

[Jjs: You know, I just realized a massive plot hole in all of this. PLOT HOLE POLICE (3)! If Woahwoah had hypnotized SOF before...why didn't SOF try to think of any ideas the previous times woahwoah "hypnotized" him? Seriously, everything in this episode so far has been useless plot devices.]

[steel:  ]

[Hayden: Is SOF trying to make fictional woahwoah dumber than himself?]

 

“NOT!” SOF yelled.

 

[Wumbo: Ha ha, NOT! That was popular about 20 years ago or so.]

[CNF: SYKE!]

SOF kicked woahwoah's feet, hurting him.

 

[sOF: MY LEG!]

[steel: Kicking? I want to do some kicking!]

[CNF: woahwoah: Owwie.]

[Wumbo: Go for the jugular! THE JUGULAR!]

“GAHHHHH!” woahwoah yelled.

 

[Wumbo: God Almighty, I think you'll live man. You may never play the clarinet again, but you'll live.]

 

“That’ll teach him,” SOF said.

 

[Jjs: Teach him what? Teach him to not let you put the blame on him for these reviews?]

[CNF: Teach him the ways of the SOF KICK!]

[steel: Teach him that getting kicked in the feet is extremely bad karma? Well I’ll be…]

 

SOF ran out of the studio to escape.

 

[Jjs: Wow, it's not like there's any guards there or anything.]

[CNF: Or the guards were asleep watching reruns of SECC.]

[Wumbo: Everyone knows you stand perfectly still to escape. Amateurs.]

 

He ran off to a nearby forest. Woahwoah followed him and started chasing him.

 

[sOF: Wow, a forest apparently grew overnight too!]

[Jjs: A forest near a studio that is near SOF's house. Does Convenience Town have a cliff near the forest too? Oh wait...]

[CNF: YOU FOOL!]

[steel: Followed by a Holiday Inn, roads and highways, a nice clean lake, and a Sonic restaurant (Yum).]

“Come back here you fool!" Woahwoah yelled.

 

[CNF: That's what I said to jjs for spoiling a part of this!]

[Jjs: Man, woahwoah and SOF sure have been working out to run this fast. Being forced to review shows does that to a guy.]

[steel: “GET THEM YOU FOOLS!”]

The chase continued until they reached a cliff.

 

[Jjs: Heh, am I psychic or what?]

[sOF: Yes, yes you are jjs.]

[CNF: Jjs The Psychic. A new sitcom coming to ABC, who passed on this lulzfest of a mystery.]

[steel: Where is this taking place anyways?]

[Wumbo: Well, a cliffhanger if I ever saw one.

Philistines.]

 

“Oh shit..” SOF stopped.

 

[CNF: I came...inside...]

Woahwoah finally caught him at the cliff as he walked closer to SOF.

“So this is the end of the line, SpongeOddFan. Join me or I'll push you off the cliff!" woahwoah laughed.

 

[Jjs: And the award for the Worst Threatening Line in history goes to...]

[CNF: Come to the dark side, SOF! We have cookies and 5,000 TV channels with nothing but your shitty show on them!]

[steel: Incoming cliché tsunami!]

[Wumbo: So you'll push him off the cliff, and then what? Use your watch to hypnotize someone else? Nobody reviews like SOF, man. Nobody.]

“I’ll never join you! Even some users hated you for your awful reviews in your blogs!” SOF said.

 

[Jjs: Well, Wumbo's brain has definitely been fried if it hasn't already. I'm not even going to point out the irony here.]

[Wumbo: You know, I used to worry about my brain frying. But now, I find that it makes a good deep fat fryer. Look, everybody! Fritters! The perfect riffing snack.]

“Heh, funny you say that, but I’m just as good as you are.

 

[CNF: I gotta agree with woahwoah here.]

[Jjs: Why did woahwoah just insult himself?]

[steel: Equality at its best.]

 

Now farewell, oh and once I win, I'll be the best director of all time!" whoawhoa laughed.

 

[sOF: YES YES, WE GET IT ALREADY! JUST PUSH HIM! Seriously, I think he's about to win the award for "Longest Gloating Time"!]

[Jjs: I thought your goal was to ruin SBC with a shitty lit, not to become the Best Director of all time! Talk about motive change.]

[CNF: whoawhoa? Is that woahwoah's good reviewing brother?]

[steel: I guess woahwoah’s brother whoawhoa wanted to join him for the last laugh.]

“THAT’S JUST CRUSING WRONG!” SOF yelled.

 

“You crused your keyboard?” woahwoah questioned.

 

[CNF: No, it was the work of DAFFY DUCK: THE WIZARD!]

[Wumbo: Great, just great. I think Past SOF's lines here are nonsensical on purpose, but I can't tell the difference!]

“That’s my joke, dude,” SOF replied.

 

[Jjs: Heh, you made a typo SOF. You sure got him.]

[Hayden: Great, now SOF's attempting to ruin his one and only decent gag by acknowledging it and using it himself.]

 

“Whatever, so long!” woahwoah laughed. He was about to hit SOF, but SOF jumped up and landed behind him.

 

[sOF: Wow, Past SOF sure has been doing gymnastics...or has he? I smell a plot device, folks!]

[Jjs: What the hell, is SOF suddenly a ninja?]

[Hayden: Is he a Supah Ninja?]

[CNF: SOF secretly auditioned to be on Supah Ninjas.]

[steel: SOF: the Human Pogo Stick]

[Wumbo: Why didn't he just do that in the first place? This is just crusing wrong.]

“What the?!” woahwoah said.

 

[Wumbo: Yeah, pretty much.]

“Hey woahwoah, take this!" SOF yelled and pulled out a freeze gun.

 

[steel: 

]

[Jjs: Wow, Convenience Town allows people to pull lethal weapons out of nowhere too!]

[Hayden: SOF still needs a freeze gun even when his enemy is dangling off the side of a cliff.]

[CNF: *pulls freeze gun out of ass* Oh hey, what do you know.]

[sOF: Wow, pulling weapons out of nowhere. What else does Convenience Town have out of nowhere? A shotgun? A sword?]

 

“Hey, where did this come from?

 

[CNF: aw yeah I'm a psychic.]

[steel: What do you think? When you run of ideas and just yank something out of nowhere? Sure. I come prepared for Jjs to point out the next flaw in the show’s originality.]

[Jjs: No idea, it seems like SOF pulled it out of his ass...literally.]

[Wumbo: HEY WOAHWOAH TAKE THIS WAIT WHERE DID THIS WEAPON THAT I OBVIOUSLY KNEW ABOUT BEFOREHAND BECAUSE I THREATENED YOU WITH IT COME FROM?

Fritters, anyone?]

 

Whatever, take this woahwoah!" SOF yelled, as he froze him with it.

“NOOOOOO!” woahwoah678 screamed as he was frozen solid.

 

[Jjs: RIP-OFF POLICE (5!) Woahwoah being frozen? Huh, I remember when suitelife got frozen the exact same way in SBC Parallel Universe 26.]

[steel: Darth Vader approved.]

[sOF: I swear, I think I'm watching Johnny Test with all these re-used ideas from other shows!]

[CNF: Might as well rename this "A Tribute To Ripping Off Better Spin-Offs Than This".]

“Now to take care of the business,” SOF said.

 

[CNF: The deed is done...oh wait wrong show.]

[steel: It look likes you’re the one who’s frozen today. Bitch.]

[Jjs: You mean to turn this back into a review show?]

We cut back to the studio where the frozen woahwoah was taken away by security guards.

 

[steel: And then he melted, cuz’…why not?] 

[Jjs: PLOT HOLE POLICE (4)! So...out of nowhere, security guards are suddenly at the studio, and have no problem with taking away a frozen child. I mean sure, woahwoah did "force" SOF to review shows for him, but freezing someone alive is apparently not illegal at all. What, is woahwoah going to turn into Mr. Freeze in "SOF's Exciting Critic Corner 2: Woahwoah Strikes Back"?]

[CNF: See, I told yah they were asleep watching this show!]

 

SOF went back to the same studio he was at earlier.

 

[Jjs: So, we cut back to the studio, and he went back to the same studio? Redundancy Department in 3...2...1...]

[Redundancy Department: Redundancy of Redundancy Department would like to have a word with Past SOF in that cheap studio which is a cheap studio somewhere in Canada in a town on a block in a street.]

 

“I guess this means no more SECC then.” SOF said as he threw the stuff into the recycle bin. "Oh well, it's for the best."

[CNF: PRAISE THE LORD IT'S OVER!]

[Jjs: PLOT HOLE POLICE (5)! Why does SOF even give a shit about no more SECC? Like Hayden brought up earlier, SOF shouldn't even remember the flak at all. SOF was "hypnotized" into reviewing it, so he shouldn't even remember it at all.]

[Wumbo: I trust him.]

 

“Excuse me Mr. SOF..” a man said “Your bill."

 

[CNF: NO NO NO YOU SAID IT'S OVER! STOP IT NOW!]

“For what?” SOF asked, confused.

 

[CNF: For your purchases at the Sex Shop.]

[Jjs: For the pain you've forced upon the viewers.]

[steel: That’ll be 1.05 USD from the 25 cent budget of your show, Mr. SOF.]

“For destroying the studio! *points to damaged stuff around the studio*" The man said.

 

[Jjs: PLOT HOLE POLICE (6)! Whoa, the studio is suddenly damaged for no given reason? I guess Steel's cliché tsunami got to it.]

[steel: WAH WAH WAAAAAAH.]

[CNF: Oh sorry, that was me throwing a rage at this SHOW NOT BEING DONE!]

 

"But I-I didn’t do it!” SOF cried.

 

[Hayden: Ok, I'll fess up, I did it, TAKE THAT YOU LITTLE WEASEL, NO HAPPY ENDING FOR YOU.]

[CNF: No silly, I just said I did it.]

[Jjs: Both of you are wrong, nobody did it. Because it was thrown in for a plot device.]

 

“Yeah right, hey everyone, let’s get him!" The man said.

 

[Jjs: Who is this man anyways? Is he just another character thrown in for plot's sake?]

 

The angry mob shouted at him.

 

[Jjs: I guess this angry mob is the people SOF kidnapped for his audience.]

[steel: For goodness sake, I think this episode is already turned into a cliché BLACK HOLE from this point on.]

“Oh crap!” SOF said as he screamed, while angry mob goes after him.

 

[Wumbo: Saying something while screaming takes true talent.]

[Jjs: RIP-OFF POLICE (6)! Remember the ending from the Rusty's Raping Rampage episode "Super Hero Fun Time"? Well apparently SOF did, so he re-used the ending from it here to lead into another useless plot device.]

[sOF: The Count: That's six, six rip-offs!]

 

They run to the cliff SOF was at before, and he stepped back.

 

[Jjs: RIP-OFF POLICE (7)! Hey SOF, remember And Then There Were Less and the cliff scenes in both versions? Oh right, SOF did ATTWL 3, so I guess here's a little more self-promotion.]

[CNF: Shameless self promotion if I might add.]

[steel: Don’t take it so roughly SOF, you can jump backwards and forget all about it again.]

[Wumbo: WHY WOULD YOU RUN TO THE SAME CLIFF YOU NIMROD UGH MY GRAY MATTER]

One of the angry mob members threw a pitchfork and it missed, causing SOF to loose balance, and he fell of the cliff.

 

[Jjs: Get ready folks for the worst twist in SBC spin-off/lit history...]

The camera zoomed at SOF’s face and zoomed out to reveal Steel Sponge's face, screaming as he woke up.

 

[Jjs: 

]

[sOF: Plankton: HOLY PLOT TWIST!]

[steel: Yes, indeed I was the main idea behind the ENTIRE review show, the whole freaking time. United we stand, from where I was resting in that scene, from what I am witnessing, from the bright mind of Past SOF….I am the one. I AM THE MAIN FOCUS! THE MAIN BASIS! THE CHESS MASTER! THE DREAM WEAVER! THE ALMIGHTY CREATOR OF THE FICTIONAL, DREAMT UP UNIVERSE THAT HAS INCEPTED THE SPIN-OFF LORAX, WHO WOULD REVIEW ALL THESE SPIN-OFFS AND LITS TO THE FANFIC’S OWN RISING INFAMY BEFORE CLOSING THE BOOK ON THE FINAL CHAPTER OF POORLY WRITTEN TORTURE! I had a dream where SOF created a bad show that only exists from yours truly! WHAT. THE. FLYING. FLIPPIN’. HECK!? Moving on...]

 

“Whoa, thank god that was just a dream. Oh boy, I had a really crazy dream about SOF. *yawns* Time to get some sleep,” Steel Sponge said, as he began to snore softly.

 

[Wumbo: Well, um.]

[Jjs: Wow, just wow. You did it, you actually freaking did it. Thank you SOF, for creating one of the worst twists in not just SBC spin-off/lit history, but in history itself. You just went to the lowest common denominator and did a twist not even M. Night himself would do. In fact, RIP-OFF POLICE (8)! SOF never heard of The Bob Newhart Show, so he stole Elastic's alternate RRR ending. I think SOF just won the award for "Worst Twist in History", folks!]

[CNF: After this shit I wanna re-read RRR. Anyone got beer and my weed?]

[steel: GO TO BED! EVERY NIGHT OF YOUR LIFE! That’s right "me", go back to sleep, you’ll need it.]

[Hayden: Let's see if we can fit in another dozen cliché twists before it's all over.]

The scene begins to fade as text appears.

 

[Wumbo: Yeah, uh. Still trying to find... words...]

“The End” appeared as the episode ended.

 

[CNF: OH MY GOD IT'S OVER! FUCK YES!]

[Wumbo: YOU DID IT! YOU ACTUALLY DID IT! YOU USED THE ULTIMATE CLICHE TO END OFF THE SERIES. IT WAS ALL A DREAM. WELL HALLELUJAH, PRAISE SATAN. THERE IS NO GOD, ONLY DREAMS WITHIN DREAMS WHERE FREEZE GUNS APPEAR OUT OF NOWHERE AND WOAHWOAH WEARS A CLOAK AND GOD DAMN IT]

[sOF: Worst ending ever? Yes, WORST. ENDING. EVER!]

 

Author’s Note: Thanks to everyone who read my lit. This series wasn’t that good as I wrote it and I know the series sucked after episode 5. I decided to end this series for a clear reason: I feel I cannot do it anymore. Tv's Terribly Terrible Sunday was mean and I feel bad for doing that. Thanks for helping me try to improve my lit, Clappy. I understand that it wasn’t a good idea to make something like this. I know this series I made was terrible, and it is my second failed project (first being Krusty Kelp City).

 

[Jjs: Not going to dig too much into this part, but let me revisit a line from Clappy's reviews: The idea of the show was not a bad one. Had you actually put forth effort and not half-ass them and ass-kiss to people, it could have worked.]

[steel: Well, I can breathe again. Seriously though, it wasn’t that bad, but it ended up making out to be one of the worst fanfics/lits/spin-offs/etc. ever. So yeah, it was dreadful, but I’d see worse and/or seen worse.]

[Past CNF: Aw guys, it wasn't that bad.]

[CNF: SHUT THE FUCK UP PAST CNF, THIS SHOW WAS HORRIBLE! Get back in your cage before I rape you...]

[sOF: He tried, and he got a terrible Nostalgia Critic rip-off. But I'll give him an F for effort!]

 

Sorry fans who actually liked it. But in the meantime. ATTWL 3 is still coming though. Anyways, this is SOF, saying thanks to readers.

 

[Jjs: No, thank you for ending this. I think you can all sum up my thoughts on this horrible finale, so here's another stat count:

 

Plot Hole Polices: 6

Rip-Off Polices: 8

M. Night Twist Videos: 2

Redundancy Department: 2

 

To further expand on what SOF stole from:

 

Rusty's Raping Rampage: Stole the ending from Super Hero Fun Time and the ending from Elastic's alternate ending.

 

SBC Parallel Universe: The idea of a journal and user disappearing, and the whole reveal with woahwoah was similar to suitelife's reveal itself.

 

Woahwoah Reviews: The whole inclusion with Steel and Woahwoah may as well have just been a parody of Woahwoah Reviews.

 

And Then There Were Less: The cliff scene and ending before the Steel twist, and the whole fact this was basically a commercial for his version of ATTWL 3...which spoiler alert, may or may not be riffed in the future.

 

I can tell this is considered the worst episode of an spin-off/lit for a reason. And I think we all know why. We're finally done this, folks. It's over, you all may rejoice.]

[steel: Well, look at time, I should kick it off and sign off from all this riffing. It was fun for a while, and I hope to riff some episodes for the next target. So long.]

[sOF: THANK GOD, IT'S OVER! I can't believe I wrote this garbage, thank you all for riffing. Let's hope the cops finally catch Past SOF.]

[CNF: REJOICE! REJOICE! REJOICE! Seriously that was just  lulz. But yeah, thanks for letting me  riff this show, even though it was god awful. I'm just glad for it to be done now. I'll be  happy to come back for more riffs...]

[Hayden: Can't wait to see what we riff next. Hopefully nothing by SOF anytime soon, riffing something by SOF is way too exhausting and easy at the same time if you know what I mean.]

[Wumbo: And he did it his way. Or Elastic's way. Or Clappy's. Or Steel's.

Well, it's over. And you know what? I think that riffing along with you guys has led me to... appreciate this series in a sense. It's so bad, but it's so spectacularly bad. Every time I thought we'd seen the worst, Past SOF turned around and showed us another chapter of badness. My hat's off to you, sir. No one could have done this but you, and I mean that as a compliment on the highest level.

(God a dream it was all a fucking dream serious fucking ly?) ]

 

Epilogue:

 

(Police squads have caught up to SOF)

 

Plot Hole Police Officer: Alright, we've finally caught the diabolical Critic SOF!

SOF: D'oh, curse you officers!

Rip-Off Police Officer: You've given us quite a run, but you're at the end of the line. *cuffs*

Irony Police Officer: Uh guys, I just realized..

Bias Police Officer: What?

Irony Police Officer: What jail do we put him in for all the crimes he has committed?

Off-Topic Police Officer: Aw crud.

SOF: Wait, woahwoah hypnotized me! 

Rip-Off Police Officer: *sees frozen woahwoah* Huh, oh yeah. Your finale said that.

Bias Police Officer: And?

Rip-Off Police Officer: Let's just arrest him, that'll be easier. 

Plot Hole Police Officer: Fine with me, put em in the Plot Hole Jail!

Off-Topic Police Officer: But....do we know if he truly did hynoptize SOF?

Plot Hole Police Officer: Don't know, don't care. Besides, now the prisoners have their own ice block for the summer heat!

 

THE END

 

 

Now..here's a teaser for the next show to be riffed, courtesy of CNF:

 

Spoiler

Patrick: East? I thought you said Weast!

Mr. Krabs: Weast? What compass are you reading lad?

Patrick: This one sir. *hands compass*

Mr. Krabs: That says West, Patrick.

Patrick: Oh.

SpongeBob: Land ho!

Mr. Krabs: Move over pink one!

*Mr. Krabs looks through his telescope*

Mr. Krabs: Dear Neptune...it's the lost city of Atlantis!

Bubby00000: oh this no it's Sponge's Atlantis lolz 

Mr. Krabs: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

COMING SOON.

[MMM]

Woah this last one was long. Anyways good job.

[Metal Snake]

Great work, all of you. That last episode is so horrible it's awesome.

[So Sejima]

a teaser by trophy

everyone on SBC is shown having fun

jjs: HEY ALL RIFFING FANS AAND RIFFERS UP NEXT IS THE ORIGINAL SPONGES ATLANTIS

Riffers and riffing fans: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

*Scene fades to black*

[ClassicNickelodeon Fan 1]

I have yet to read the other riffs, but I'm glad to see my teaser used <3

[Wumbo]

[I'M A TRASH CAN]

I'd Like to Riff on The Episode Next Season But i will not be there to riff Monday So It's going to be Tuesday

 

Edit: Need to read Sponge's Atlantis Or i Don't Have to?

[Jjs Goodman]

Here's the riffs for Sponge's Atlantis. Yes, I am posting all three at once because it's so short it's not really worth spanning out.

 

Episode 1: Pilot

Spoiler

[Jjs: Time to begin what people either consider to be the worst spin-off ever, the most unintentionally bad spin-off ever, or the lulziest spin-off ever by the infamous creator himself...Bubby00000.]

[Trophy: Okay then, let's get started on this supposed bad show.]

[Mike: Nice to be here, let's see how bad this is.]

[CNF: Great to be here. please god let this be better than SECC]

 

All the people make signs like this to keep Atlantis

 

[CNF: *draws picket fence*]

[Jjs: Uh oh folks, it looks like the Guild of Writers are going on strike again...in the lost city of Atlantis? Well I'll be.]

 

 

 

[Jjs:  ]

[CNF: UNFAIR NOT FUNFAIR!]

[Trophy: He spammed a sign saying spam. Paradox!]

[Mike: That emote represents this "spin-off" in a nutshell.]

and it's about to be torn down but then Bikini Bottom offers to merge with Atlantis so Atlantis becomes one big place.

 

[CNF: Cool story bro.]

[Trophy: What just happened?]

[Jjs: Bikini Atlantis, a true male's dream.]

[Mike: Why do the people of Bikini Bottom even want to merge with it? How do they merge with it if both areas are faraway? I think this image sums up the "logic" of this show: 

]

Episode 2: Atlantis TV

Spoiler

[CNF: Atlantis TV? I hope it's as lulzy as my spoof on this one.]
[Jjs: Huh, this Atlantis not only has a Writer Strike, gets renamed into Bikini Atlantis, but also has TVs! Well I'll be.]

Perch Perkins wakes up in the morning and does not want to broadcast the news to Atlantis

 

[CNF: DEAL WITH IT BRO.]

[Jjs: Oh great, they're having a News Reporter Strike too?]

 

, so he hijacks all the systems to say 

 

[CNF: If that's referring to the creator, I agree!]

[Jjs:  ]

and he gets arrested. xD

 

[Mike: So...Perch Perkins wakes up, doesn't want to do a news broadcast, does one anyway by airing a sign saying "I'm With Stupid", and gets arrested. I am now fully convinced that Bubby was on drugs when he wrote this.]

[bubby00000: I sure was lolololol!  ]

[Jjs: That's what he gets for having a News Reporter Strike.]

[CNF: That was sure anti-climatic.]

[Trophy: Well, this show definitely turned into the "WTF Is Going On Show"?]

Episode 3: What The Critics Are Saying

Spoiler

[Mike: Oh great, fake reviews! This will be fun!]

[Roger Ebert: "The best thing my eyes have ever graced upon." (also RIP)]

[CNF: HOORAY FOR NON-EXISTANT CRITICS!]

We decided to use this episode to show you what the critics are saying about Sponge's Atlantis.

 

[Jjs: Man, this show must be that great. An entire episode dedicated to "critics" sharing their thoughts on this beautiful masterpiece.]

The_Bob_Ball: I love this show!

 

[CNF: U better be kidding...oh wait you're fake so it doesn't matter.]
[Jjs: THE Bob Ball? So the other Bob Ball is a fake? Oh well.]

[Mike: Bubby couldn't even spell the "critic's" name right.]

[Trophy: Remember my SB Steps On A Flower spin-off? I wonder if this show was basically that back then, except hated.]

Wumbology: I love this show too! It's even better then that Google sign? How did it go? Oh yeah,, but it sucks compared to this!

 

[Mike: A Google Sign would be much better than this spin-off.]

[CNF: Sponge's Atlantis is my friend.]
[Jjs: Wumbo chose the Sponge's Atlantis Search Engine over Google. Dang, this show must be good with all the marketing it is getting!]

 

The_Bob_Ball: YEAH SPONGE'S ATLANTIS ROCKS!

 

[Mike: YEAH, SPIN-OFF OF THE YEAR FOLKS!]

[CNF: SIT DOWN, YOU ALREADY HAD YOUR CHANCE!]

[Jjs: ...but unfortunately the show got a 3% on Rotten Tomatoes, so these "critic" opinions probably mean jack shit.]

 

Jjsthekid: [!] Amazing. Has a nice charm like old spin-offs.

 

[Mike: Oh great, even jjs is in the "SPIN-OFF OF THE YEAR"!]

[CNF: Someone forgot the other sarcastic tag.]

[Trophy: Does he still think so? Probably not.]

[Jjs: Damn right Trophy...wait a minute, what the...I never wrote that? IMPOSTOR!]

 

More soon!        

 

[Trophy: NOT! So that was Sponges Atlantis, lulz. See you next time on Jjs' Riffing Theater 3000!

[Jjs: Thanks guys. Yeah, this show was bad quality wise, but if you look at it for lulziness, it is kind of So Bad, It's Good. Sorry if there wasn't too much to say here, but it's that short, so we're stuck with what we got. See you guys next time.]

[Mike: Oh boy, this "spin-off" was such a disgrace I can't even call it a spin-off. Whether or not if it is So Bad, It's Good or So Horrible, It's Bad, I don't know, but I am aiming for the second one. Thank you for having me jjs.]

[CNF: ....Well....um, that was lulzy. Adios amigos, see you later for the enchiladas!]

[Metal Snake]

The main event for this one was definitely a waking up to a smell of the cocoa. THIS is what we considered to be the worst spin-off ever written?! Then this is the most overhated spin-off in the history of spin-offs that have been overhated, my goodness. 

[Supergameman]

Can you great people at JJS riff Chapter 5 or Chapter 6 of my lit The Adventures Of Kyle and Carl?

[Metal Snake]

Can you great people at JJS riff Chapter 5 or Chapter 6 of my lit The Adventures Of Kyle and Carl?

 

Thanks for reminding me that I should really recommend some of my stuff to be riffed. Just the stuff I have on SBC though. The stuff I have on FF.net, OH MY GOODNESS.

[Jjs Goodman]

Time to bring this bad boy back to life. The voting unfortunately didn't exactly go anywhere, so it's been cancelled. However, I will be using one of the shows that was suggested in the voting. The next victim will be...

 

Spoiler

Patrick V.S. World

 

Let me know if you are interested in riffing it.

[So Sejima]

I'm in

[Supergameman]

I'm in...

[Wumbo]

I don't even remember what it is, but sure.

[Jjs Goodman]

Alright, those will be enough spots for now. The riff of the show will be coming soon, when all people riffing finish.

[Jjs Goodman]

Patrick V.S. World

 

1. The Beginning Part I

Spoiler

[Jjs: Hello, I'm the Riffing Critic, I riff it so you don't have to! Welcome Trophy, Wumbo, Supergameman (aka Scootaloo), and Steel, to what people consider to be a very horribly lulzy show by TarterSauce25. Is it as bad as I remembered? Let's find out.]

[steel: A spin-off by TarterSauce25? Looks like I'm going to be taking a stroll to Memory Lane.]

[Wumbo: Hey, TarterSauce25! I remember him! I don't specifically remember anything about him, but I remember him!]

[Trophy: TarterSauce? Whoa there buddy, it's TARTAR Sauce. If the guy couldn't even spell his own name right, uh oh. *throws away all tartar sauce owned in shame*]

 

*Patrick sat in his sand room one early morning and started at the wall for a minute.

 

[Jjs: TarterSauce probably started staring at a wall to get the idea of this spin-off.]

[steel: And I guess the spin-off already became boring.]

[Trophy: Somehow it did.]

[Wumbo: Stop, stop. You've already lost me. "Sand room"? Patrick's house doesn't even have rooms! It's a hole under a rock.]

 

On the wall was a picture of his best friend Spongebob. Spongebob had just got shipped off to a super-secret military base on the other side of the ocean bottom for accuse of murder, drug possession, and grand theft.

 

[Jjs: Instead of simply going to jail, he gets sent to...a military base? Yeah, the writing was definitely on the wall.]

[scoot: He doesn't die, he just goes to a base?! I should have done this years ago.]

[steel: So, if I sign up for the military, I get confined and locked up in prison? Phooey.]

 

Patrick didn't know why Spongebob would do such a thing.

 

[Trophy: Easy, SpongeBob was controlled by Dr. Blowhole.]

[Wumbo: Well, we don't really know either. Why? Because you haven't explained it. It's drama without context. Does Squidward have an STD too? Why not? Anything's possible in The Land Without Context!]

[steel: I have to admit. Some of Tarter's grammar is surprisingly good.]

 

He didn't believe it one bit that Spongebob did any act of crime.

 

[Jjs: If you can't pay the time, don't do the crime.]

 

He knew somebody was behind it. He had to find out.

 

[Trophy: I ALREADY SAID IT WAS DR. BLOWHOLE!]

[Jjs: Detective Patrick on the case!]

[steel: The Mystery theme must have been really big back then.]

 

*Pulling the top of his rock up, he hopped out and walked down the street and walked over to a specific address. He was trying to find the gun shop so he could buy some weapons to bail out Spongebob.

 

[Jjs: He should use Ed's Gun Store if he really wants heavy material.]

[scoot: "I need some illegal weapons to bust out a wanted criminal. Got anything?" Is that how he is going to approach it?]

 

He obviously would need some heavy-fire weapons to get past security.*

 

[Jjs: Well no shit, I thought he would have needed magic tricks to get past them.]

[steel: I wouldn't mind seeing Patrick trying to cut a security guard in half.]

*The address was Squidward's house. He knocked on the door waiting impatiently. Squidward opened the door, surprised to find him there.*

 

[Jjs: Squidward's house is a gun store? Hey, I'm not gonna question it, so neither should you.]

[steel: To join in with the surprise, Squidward has a gun shop in his house? So this takes place in Covenience Town now rather than Conch Street?]

[Wumbo: Uh, why is no one questioning the random asterisks? Am I the only one worried?

Wait Squidward sells guns what the hell. I think I liked my STD story better.]

Squidward - What do you want this time Patrick?

 

[Jjs: "Hello there sir. My friend got shipped out to a military base for a bunch of crimes, and I need to bust him out. Got any guns that will help?"]

[Trophy: "I got grounded by my mommy, can I hide here?"]

[steel: Spite the good punctuation...the dialogue and sentence schemes baffles me. Squidward and Patrick's conversations is scripted with a dash? There's asterisks in these sentences....]

[Wumbo: Gosh, I know Squidward's a sad, lonely individual detached from the outside world, but even he should notice his neighbour being shipped off to a military base.]

Patrick - Do you sell weapons?

 

[Jjs: No, the gun shop address was a lie. IT'S A TRAP!]

 

I looked you up in the Yellow Pages, and found a gun shop address, and walla. I'm at your house. 

 

[Jjs: I think I just died a bit here. That's like saying "Hello sir, I looked up your shop in the yellow pages, I found a shop address, and I'm at your shop".]

[steel: Patrick found walla! Patrick put walla in the Items Pocket.]

[Wumbo: Holla for walla.]

*Squidward looked around quickly.*

 

[Jjs: What, did Squidward think Patrick had cops with him?]

Squidward - I didn't put my house adress for the gun shop Yellow Page....shit.

 

[Jjs: Well then who did?]

[steel: And then the grammar suddenly got worse for a moment.]

[Trophy: Liar.]

[Wumbo: There's a separate Yellow Pages dedicated to gun shops only? As if the regular one isn't useless enough.]

 

I must have accidentally put it in on accident. Probably wasn't thinking straight.

 

[Wumbo: Meth. Not even once.]

 

Better get it fixed right away. Well, come in quick then.

 

[Jjs: "Let's see, what will I do today? Oh I know! I'll accidentally put my house address in the yellow pages book and then forget about it!"]

[steel: Squidward is so stupid, he labeled the Gun Shop with his address. Ironically, Patrick is acting smarter than this, which would make him OOC.]
[Trophy: This is a dream world then.]

 

*Patrick walked into Squidward's house. He'd been in it a million times from him and Spongebob messing around in it and playing Hide and Seek.

 

[Jjs: Well, those two definitely need girlfriends.]

[Trophy: One million times? Wow, Patrick got smarter then he was in Hide and Then What Happens?.]

[steel: For a while, those two ought to get tired of playing Hide and Seek in his house "a million times."]

 

Squidward led him into a closet which Patrick had seen before. Just an ordinary closet. Or was it?*

 

[Jjs: 

]

[steel: Is he going to Narnia?]

[Wumbo: Just a clichéd phrase. Or is it? Yes, yes it is.]

 

*Squidward walked over to the top left side of the closet and smacked the shoebox that was on a shelf.

 

[Wumbo: "Why haven't I worn this yet?"]

 

All of a sudden, a chunk of the closet floor began to expand out, a narrow stairway lead down stairs to a basement it looked like.*

 

[Jjs: So wait. Is the gun shop in his house or what?]

[steel: Is he going to the Stairway to Heaven? Answer me!]

Patrick - Your kidding me right?

 

[Jjs: Heh, at least TarterSauce had some decency to jab his own logic.]

Squidward - Do I look like I'm kidding? 

 

[Trophy: I don't know, does this look unsure to you?:  ]

[Jjs:

]

 

2. The Beginning Part II

Spoiler

 

*Squidward lead Patrick down the tunnel for a good 30 minutes.

 

[Jjs: Holy damn, that's a long tunnel.]

[scoot: He's richer than I thought!]

[steel: What? Now he's going to Wonderland? I'm still speculating here!]

[Wumbo: Are we there yet? Are we there yet?]

 

Squidward had grabbed a musty candle and had used it to guide them down the stairs.

 

[Jjs: A musty candle? What is this fascinating new type of candle?]

[steel: VTXLGZDUG LV QRW ZKDW KH VHHPV]

[Trophy: Gah, this makes no sense to me. *malfunctions and shuts down*]

[Wumbo: A "musty candle" is the type of candle that gets you lost in a tunnel for a good 30 minutes.]

 

Patrick could only see the sides of the walls when climbing down, but there was blood splatted all over the wall. It was brutal post-carnage as well as there were ropes and flesh hanging in them.

 

[Wumbo: Uh, Squidward?]

[Jjs: So Squidward is not only a gun dealer, but he is also a deranged murderer. I knew that sick fuck was hiding something.]

 

Rats scurried around as well.

   

[steel: And apparently, rats can breathe underwater.]

 

*They finally made it to the bottom of the stairs, and a giant, glass framed door stood in front of them.*

 

[Jjs: Not only is he both a gun dealer and deranged murderer, but now he is also the guardian of the Holy Grail!]

[Trophy: DIPPER, MABEL, YOU MIGHT WANT TO SEE THIS!]

[Wumbo: Glass is clear. The opposite of thisspin-off.]

Squidward - I better do this real quick.

 

[steel: Yeah, unlike how long it took to look at your secret passageway.]

*Squidward typed in a bunch of random digets

 

[Jjs: Two new words in this spin-off: "Musty" and "Digets"]

 

and numbers as the doors looks began to un-wind and expand open.

 

[Jjs: Huh, so the doors now have fashion looks.]

[Trophy: Ugh, not fashion]

[Wumbo: Digits AND numbers? Numerals too?]

[scoot: Numbers and "digets" must be different in TarterSauce's world.]

 

Eventually, the giant high-tech door pulled open, and steam blew out.

 

[steel: *Cough cough cough*]

[Wumbo: "Eventually"? Why is everything in this spin-off slow as molasses? If this were a TV show, there would be no one who would bother to sit through it. It would be longer than reading a 4EverGreen Total Cartoon Island episode.]

 

When Patrick walked into the large room, he was stunned.*

 

[steel: Patrick is paralyzed! He cannot move!]
[Trophy: MAGIKARP, USE SPLASH TO UNPARALYZE PATRICK!]

 

*There were weapons EVERY wear.

 

[Jjs: Now there's weapons as clothes too. Thanks TarterSauce! I'll definitely get gun clothes and clothes for my house doors.]

[steel: Sweet. Now I can wear an AK-# as a t-shirt!]

 

From tanks to plain out guns, there was every gun imaginable.*

 

[Jjs: I should be questioning how Squidward was able to fit tanks into his basement, but it's probably the same logic as Bikini Top: It just can!]

[steel: This spin-off has officially turned into Scenery Porn.]

Patrick - I....I...ugh....gahh...eh......

 

[Jjs: So many weapons they gave Patrick a stroke.]

[steel: Goodnight, sweet prince.]

[Wumbo: Somebody's been reading too much of TarterSauce's writing.]
[scoot: I'll take the gahh...eh...]

 

Squidward - Stop bitching.

 

[Jjs: Yes, because Patrick was clearly bitching while having a stroke.]

[Trophy: Wow, this is as intense as a slow moving parade.]

​[Wumbo: See, he told Patrick to stop bitching! That means he has attitude, you see. Swearing unnecessarily, am I right?]

 

I know your amazed, but after hearing that from other customers in my other store, I've gotten tired of it.

 

[Trophy: What other store? Jjs, time to call the PLOT HOLE POLICE!]

[Jjs: Good call Trophy. Does Squidward also run a Shop Rite? Well, that's another job to add to this increasingly long list of Squidward's occupations.]

[Wumbo: "The last guy to bitch in my shop is hanging from the ropes right now, so watch it."]

 

So what guns would you like?

 

[Jjs: "Yeah, hey Mario. Let me get a large double olive, double-"]

 

Patrick - I'll take the M-16, the Gullet, the Rocket Launcher, the AK-47U, a d-23 scop.....

 

[steel: So apparently, Patrick is suddenly smart and is a weapon enthusiast while Squidward is the new Stan Pines. Keep going...]

[Wumbo: And I'll take some context. You're all out? I'll try a better spin-off.]

Squidward - WOAH! How much money do you think you have here? 

 

[Jjs: It's Patrick, so he's clearly richer than Bill Gates.]

[steel: Allow me another question, how the heck did you get all those weapons anyways? I bet you stole em' and put them in Mr. Krabs' pants like with his first dime, just the same.]

[Wumbo: I support that theory, Steel. "Mr. Krabs, is that an M-16 in your pants or are you just happy to see me?"]

 

Patrick - I have some pocket lint and 3 pennies. *Droll's like a dumb ass would.*

 

[Jjs: Drolls, a new word to join Musty and Digets.]

[Trophy: GRAMMAR POLICE!]

[steel: Patrick's brain coral is acting up...]

[Wumbo: Hey guys! Remember Patrick's dumb? Of course not, because I totally forgot his character. But then I remembered he was stupid, and I probably should have changed the previous lines to reflect that, but EDITING, ya know? So here! He's *misspelled drooling* because he's stupid! Who says effort is necessary?]

Squidward - Silly shit!

 

[Jjs: I see SOF's Exciting Critic Corner isn't the only show that tries too hard with unnecessary swears.]

 

You won't even be able to afford a single gun, let alone my worst gun.

 

[Jjs: Spare some change?]

 

These things are hard to smuggle off military ships, and I'm not going to stand for average prices.

 

[Jjs: Time to update Squidward's Job List:
1. Gun Dealer

2. Deranged Murderer

3. Holy Grail Guardian

4. Shop Rite Worker

5. Smuggler]

[scoot: What is Mr. Krabs in this show, a drug dealer?]

[steel: Squidward is quite a remarkable fellow to pull off all this.]

[Wumbo: Stay away from the ropes, Patrick!]

 

You better start paying me some big dough now if you want any guns.

 

[Jjs: Will you take belly button lint?]
[steel: Shut up and take my unbaked cookie dough!]

 

Patrick - I'm desperate here. You don't understand. Didn't you hear about....who's that guys name again? Ughhh.....

 

[Trophy: Patrick's not that dumb.]

[Jjs: Oh yeah, Patrick's dumb, remember again guys?]

[Wumbo: *drolls*]

Squidward - Spongebob you imcomplete dipshit!

 

[Jjs: Musty, Digets, Drolls, and Imcomplete. We should make a book with all these pretend words TarterSauce is making.]

[steel: Oxford got nothin' on this.]

[Wumbo: Jane, you ignorant slut.]

Patrick - Oh yeah! Well he got shi.....

 

[Jjs: He got ellipsed.]
[steel: Holy shi! What's going on now?]

Squidward- Cut the crap. I already know the story. Every citizen in the ocean knows.

 

[Trophy: How long ago did this happen again?]

[Jjs: Wow, word gets around fast around the entire ocean. "HEY EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE OCEAN, DID YOU KNOW SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS IS IN A MILITARY BASE FOR MANY VAGUE CRIMES?" "AWW, THAT'S TERRIBLE!"]

Patrick - Well I need guns to bail him out!

 

[Jjs: Rather then peacefully trying to work things out with the military, he must resort to Call of Duty violence.]

[steel: I thought this was Patrick V.S. World, not Patrick V.S. Time Consuming Rant Between Squidward On Buying a Freaking Weapon, amirite? *Boo*]

[Wumbo: Balls Almighty, did anything happen in those past eight lines other than shoehorned-in "character"?]

 

Please lower your prices! I can even get my special piggy bank and pay you.

 

[Jjs: Nah man, he'll only accept belly button lint.]

Squidward- You know what? Forget this. I don't care how much cash you have, I don't trust you with my guns!

 

[Jjs: Well I can't blame you, with how TarterSauce is writing Patrick, he probably would be stupid enough to shoot himself with them!]

[steel: This storyline doesn't look like it's moving forward.]

[Wumbo: And as of now, I no longer trust TarterSauce to write an episode of my spin-off.]

Patrick - You can't keep them?

 

[Jjs: Not once, not twice, but three times in a row we have forced Patrick stupidity! Of course he can keep them, how the hell did you think he got them in the first place? Oh right, he's a smuggler.]

[steel: Here's a thought: If Patrick can be smart at random in this story, why couldn't he call the police force about Squidward's secretive smuggling and send him over to the military?]

[Trophy: Steel is onto something here.]

 

Your a scam artist! Now I know why your so grumpy!

 

[Jjs: Sweet, time to update Squidward's Many Many Jobs List:

1. Gun Dealer

2. Deranged Murderer

3. Holy Grail Guardian

4. Shop Rite Worker

5. Smuggler

6. Scam Artist

He must make a fortune.]

[Wumbo: I...I do not think "scam artist" means what he thinks it means.]

Squidward - Your asking for a beating dirt bag! 

 

[steel: Smuggler Squidward would like to battle!]
[scoot: Smuggler Squidward used Scam Attack!]

 

Patrick - Well, I.....I'm going to....

 

[Jjs: "Now that I got you two right where I want you...I'd like to buy all of your chocolate."]

[steel: The suspense is killing me!]

[scoot: Pull a million dollars out of your ass to pay him?]

 

Squidward - Your going to do what? Your the dumbest person in Bikini Bottom. You can't cut crap! Give it up!

 

[Jjs: Make that seven jobs:

1. Gun Dealer

2. Deranged Murderer

3. Holy Grail Guardian

4. Shop Rite Worker

5. Smuggler

6. Scam Artist

7. Professional Wrestler

 

Squidward's talking some serious trash, I place my bets on him winning considering his experience. What about you guys?]

[steel: I'm betting on Mr. Star.]

[Trophy: Patrick, considering the title.]

[scoot: Go Skodwarde.]

[Wumbo: Straight outta Compton, crazy motherfucker named Squidward.]

Patrick - Don't make me mad!

 

[steel: Never make Patrick angry. You wouldn't like it when he's angry.]
[Jjs: PATRICK SMASH!]

Squidward- OOO!!! I'm scared!

 

[Jjs: Seriously, has this fight gone anywhere?]

[steel: Are they still in the Secret Passageway Saga?]

[scoot: I'm not even sure if this is a fight.]

*Patrick couldn't take it anymore. He ran toward Squidward, grabbed a sharp stake knife off one of the nearest tables

 

[Jjs: How convient, it's as if Squidward wanted someone to kill him.]

[steel: Well, that saved me from my point of insanity.]

[Wumbo: Remember, guns don't kill people. Angry starfish coming at you with knives do.]

 

and jumped at Squidward. He dug the blade through his blobbish head,

 

[Jjs: Another new one: Blobbish. We now have Musty, Diget, Drolls, Imcomplete, and Blobbish for our imaginary words by TarterSauce.]

 

as Squidward fell to the floor, blood and flesh pouring out every where.*

 

[Trophy: NOT SQUIDDY, YOU SHOULD'VE KILLED PEARL INSTEAD! *kills Patrick*]

[Jjs: Is this some sort of sequel to Bikini Top?]

[steel: Bikini Top is much less bloody-gory than this.]

[Wumbo: Flesh doesn't "pour out". You don't need to be a biologist to know that. You may need a degree in Wumbology, however.]

*Patrick took Squidward's bodie

 

[Jjs: Now six: Musty, Diget, Drolls, Imcomplete, Blobbish, and Bodie. I can see proofreading wasn't a strength of TarterSauce either.]

[Trophy: Spell check probably failed him.]

[scoot: Moist and delicious bodie.]

 

and hid it under a table hundreds of feet away from the murder.

 

[scoot: Like in the tunnel?]

[Jjs: RIP Squidward. He lived a good life serving many multiple jobs.]

[steel: Patrick, you moron! You could get sent to the military for doing that!]

[Wumbo: See, you may think that Patrick would leave fingerprints doing this. But he doesn't have fingers, you see. Always one step ahead, that Patrick. At least in this spin-off, anyway.]

 

Nobody was ever going to come back here again, so he decided this could be his personal place for weaponry. 
 

[Jjs: Well, it's not like the police are going to investigate.]

[steel: Oh boy, wait until there's gnats and s**t everywhere if he's not going to do any spring cleaning...]

 

Grabbing a load of guns and weapons off the endless numbers of shelves, Patrick ran out of the gun room and began walking up the stairs. Next up: The other side of the ocean to save Spongebob.* 

 

[Jjs: This summer, one starfish takes the law into his own hands...]

[Wumbo: Well, it's a good thing he can always fall back on the "personal place for weaponry" that will soon be on the other side of the ocean.]

 

Episode 3 premieres next week.

 

[Jjs: NOT!]

[steel: And then the spin-off was cancelled for God knows why and never saw the light of day. The End.]

[Wumbo: Wait, this was two episodes? It barely qualifies as one.]

P.S. - This Spinoff is terrible. You can read it at your own risk. 

 

[Jjs: Well that's just dandy. Now if only he had told us this at the beginning.]

[steel: At least he was surprisingly honest. This spin-off was bad, but not SECC or Bikini Top bad. I guess that's it.]

[scoot: WONDERFUL, BRAVO!]

[Trophy: Wow, even the author admits it's bad. I liked it until Squidward died.]

[Wumbo: No, it wasn't terrible. There were misguided characterizations and pointless lines, but I could have seen it going somewhere. And then apparently he cancels it? Well, that just musties my candle.]

[Jjs Goodman]

Alright fans...here's a surprise: It's back! As a gift for Octerror Fest, here is the next terrifying tale to be riffed...

 

Spoiler

Childhood Deleted With SpongeBob SquarePants

 

PM me if interested...up to 3 spots will be available.

 

Edit: All spots are full, riffs will be coming soon.