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Congress to Allow Mayonnaise to be a musical instrument


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Ever since I was a little girl I always wanted my own Mayonnaise to play. My family never had much money, so I was on my own. I scraped up some money selling lemonade at my lemonade stand, walking dogs, recycling cans...then finally I had enough. $5.88. I walked down to my local Acme and I purchased my first jar of Mayonnaise. I was ecstatic! I quickly ran home and began researching how to play.

Needless to say, my parents weren't too happy with me, wasting my money on something frivolous. They begged me to stop playing, to give their ears a break from my terrible playing. But I said NAY! Nay to them! I will pursue my dreams! I practiced every day, for hours until I could play magnificent pieces.. . Brahms' Piano Concerto No. 1, 1812 Overture, Symphony No. 5: I, I was a prodigy!

At age 12 I began playing at a local restaurant, people were always amazed at what complex pieces I would play with ease now. But the other kids, the other kids didn't understand. They were trying to convince me that playing the Mayonnaise would never get me anywhere except without a good egg sandwich. I ignored them.

Now, at age 17, I am playing at the Civic Opera House, the California Theater, the Dicapo Opera Theatre and hundreds of places around the US. I'm achieving my dream, I'm doing what I love. I showed the other kids what Mayonnaise can do for your life, I showed them that I truly love playing the Mayonnaise.

Please, don't let Congress allow other kids to go through what I had to, the uphill battles of convincing people Mayonnaise was worth more than just for eating, it was for creating and achieving dreams.

It's time for Mayonnaisists to be no longer discriminated! It is time for people to realize what dreams that can be created and achieved with this beautiful instrument! It is time for people to stop playing in fear!

Mayonnaise IS an instrument!

Mayonnaise DESERVES that title!

FOR THE CHILDREN!

FOR THE FUTURE!

FOR AMERICA!

-Abby T Sullivan,

Professional Mayonnaisist.

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Amazing. Simply amazing. If only it had been realized.

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