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Squids Who Cry


Cha

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Plot: Squidward, Squilliam and Squidly become an alternative band called Squids Who Cry at a coffee shop in the city of Blistering Bottom.

" So what would make fish stay in Blistering Bottom?" Wondered a long time restaurant owner. She wondered this because he never knew what to expect of this place. There was nothing but noisy shouts and the sound of trolleys moving through. The scenery wasn't at the least bit appealing to the tourists. In the city of Blistering Bottom everything remains the same shades of foggy grey and chocolate brown. The transportation ran mostly with trollies and sidewalks. Boat mobiles were there but rarely were used inside the city. The citizens were even more depressing. They were a large grumpy bunch who drank and breathed the colors of brown and grey. Their meals were grey, their drinks were brown. Their eyes were brown, their clothes were suits of grey.

But yet... they enjoyed the simple trends of the area. They were shouted and made their own ways in the cramped sidewalks. But they took the time to enjoy their brown drinks and their grey foods. Their eyes were brown and their clothes were suits of grey but they enjoyed it. And this pride led them to create music of magnificent shades of browns, greys, purples, reds, and any other color. Their music was funky and bright. THAT'S what everyone stays here for and that's why every prideful person here has made his/her mark here.

This is why this Blistering Bottom was so interesting to three different octopus tourists who unknowingly would meet here.

One of them was Squidward Tentacles, who. enjoyed all art types. From the soft sounds of smooth jazz to the loud appearances of his self portraits. He came here to escape Bikini Bottom where he felt his art was hindered by the unartistic citizens. His neighbors were even more terrible than the citizens for they drove him bonkers with their childish behavior. He had to come take a vacation here then. After renting a tiny room in a motel, he made his way down a local coffee shop, called the Koffee Krab.

Not far from him, a rich octopus named Squilliam Fancyson III decided to take a nation wide trip. He was born a millionaire due to the wealth of his big oil business father and grandfather. Thus he remained careerless and did what ever be pleased to. Whether it be hanging out in his balloon/casino or making fun of his old high school band member, Squidward Tentacles. Blistering Bottom happened to be one of his stops. He wasn't too interested in any art but marching bands. He found out about the music diversity of the city and quickly ventured to come here. He stayed in the finest hotel in the area and decided to check out the Koffee Krab.

Around the same time another octopus who only spoke in old English named Squidly Spork was dancing on the street outside the Koffey Krab. He was hoping for any small coin he could grab inside his tentacles. He was a jester and whenever anyone asks of his costume, he explains that he was a medieval fool who landed here by mistake due to an innocent with a sponge and a starfish (thus people calling him a nut). He didn't live anywhere too long and never could find a place to stay. He hoped that maybe his clarinet playing or performing skills could take him somewhere. After being pelted with tomatoes for his bad clarinet playing, he went inside the Koffee Krab.

Inside the shop was a buzz of alternative music and hipsters. Bazzy Krabs was the owner of the Koffey Krab. She wore a rainbow colored headband, wild blonde hair beneath and a green dress suit. Her accent proved that even though she lived in Blistering Bottom, she had a a mixed accent of Irish and country.She with her triplet boys ran this place for ten years and counting.The proud owner was cleaning coffee cups when she saw three octopuses enter and sat down at the bar without noticing each other.

"What can I do for ye boys?" asked the owner.

Squidward: "I'll have a small espresso"

Squilliam: "And I'll have a much more classy drink, a small latte if you would"

Squidward's eyes widened when he realized this familiar voice. He quickly hid his face in hopes that Squilliam didn't glance at him.

Squilliam: Squiddy! Old chum! What are you doing here?

Squidward: Oh great..... -_-

Squilliam: I didn't know you could afford here.

Squidward: You mean getting a room in this city?

Squilliam: No, I mean your drink! *nasally laughs* Oh Squiddy, I knew I would have a good time here, but insulting you too is a bonus.

Squidward: Fantastic...

Bazzy Krabs: Here are your drinks you tw- oh I'm sorry did I forget to take ye order jester hat? she said glancing at Squidly*

Squidly: Oh...what?

Bazzy: Ye order Hun.

Squidly: Oh... what can-eth this one cent get thyself?

Bazzy chuckling: A drop of our hot chocolate

Squidly: I will-eth take it!

Bazzy: I was just joking Hun.

Squidly, sad: Awww...

Squidward: A circus doofus are you?

Squidly: That would be royal fool..

Squidward: Royal?

Squidly: Yes

Squilliam: Well that would explain your type of speech. Say, you wouldn't be one of King Neptune's fools would you?

Squidly: oh goodness-eth nay, I'm but a royal fool to King Kazo Krabs XI....

Squilliam: You know royalty?! You wouldn't mind to be friends with someone as lowly as me would you? *he flaunts a one hundred bill in his face*

Squidward: Hey I talked to him first!

Squilliam: And I offered him something worth wild. So check mate.

Squidly: oh thank you-eth

Squilliam: No problem and when you need a - *Squidly takes the money and blows his nose into it* Uhh or do that....

Squidly: Like I was say-eth I was King Krab's favorite fool...

Suddenly the triplets of Bazzy Krabs came out of the kitchen door.

One of them asked what Squidly just said and he repeated it.

Another one: We've been trying to uncover the mystery of King Krab's hidden treasure!

Squidward: Wait a second, I didn't go to school for nothing...

Squilliam: That's for sure, you were at school to be our lovely geek!

Squidward: No... What I was saying was that, didn't that king die a while ago?

Squidly: That is why-eth I need to get back in time!

All but Squidly:.....

The third one: And if he's related to our same Krabs family!

The first one: Well of course he is! How many people with the letter K for crabs as a last name can there be?!

Squidly: Don't hold thy breath....

*they all hold their breaths*

Squidly: No! No! I do not-eth mean it literally!

Bazzy: Boys!

*they all gasp out*

Squidly: I mean-eth Krabs' treasure is hidden to not even thyself the royal fool knows.

First one: Well the three Krabs triplets will soon know. Quickly Identical brothers! To the library! *they zoom out*

Bazzy: Boys! You're not done with your shif- Oh why bother, they're always getting into things. Sorry they bothered you three.

They all say that don't mind really.

Bazzy goes back to work while a dead silent comes around the three.

Squidly: So thou names be-eth Squidward and Squilliam?

Squidward: Uh yeah.

Squidly: And you two-eth be in school together from what thyself gathers. Friends?

Squidward: Most likely not.

Squilliam: Oh Squiddy you were always the downer.

Squidward: And you were always the vain of my existence!.... Besides two other idiots back home. Well anyways, I should get going back to my mot- *he looks at Squilliam* my motherly mansion back where I'm staying!

Squilliam, smirking: You mean that little motel down the street?

Squidward: Neptune I hate you.

Squilliam: You're so LOL CUTE when you're mad.

Squidward: That's it, I'm out of this city. I've just had enough of Squilliam Fancyson in one city, I don't need another city.

*Squidward about to leave when Squidly blocks the door*

Squidly: Wait! Do not-eth leave! Thou two are the only two thyself has made friends with!

Squidward: Yeah it was good to know you too... Now if you don't mind moving...

Squidly: PLEASE?

Bazzy on the phone: What? What do ye mean the live entertainment won't show tonight? I have a whole Saturday night crowd of paying customers without a band! Yes yes I know but... I need a singer, a clarinet player and a drum player! Yeah whatever bye.

Squidly: I can sing! And play the clarinet! *plays badly and everyone around moans* well heh... I can sing-eth on the spot.

Squidward: A clarinet player? *he thinks to himself about the time he world toured his way with SpongeBob SquarePants* Do they get payed?

Bazzy: A small fee, but yeah.

Squidward: I'll do it!

Squilliam: And what the heck, I majored in drums in band class. Even as barbaric as it is, it still is my best instrument to play. But you would know all about it wouldn't you Squidward?

Squidward: ugh....

Bazzy: So it's settled! Ye three will perform! All ye need is a name.

Squidward: Squidward and The Wardnets

Squilliam: Rich Boy and the Poors

Squidly: Squids Who Cry!

Bazzy: isn't that copyrighting Boys Who Cry

Squidly: Copyrighting mean-eth what in this modern world?

Bazzy: ..... Squids Who Cry it is!

The three of them go on stage and to Bazzy's surprise entertain the crowd.

They sing this:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=K53UEgCPDBc

At the end they take a bow on the small stage and exit towards Bazzy.

Squidward: I did fabulous as always.

Squilliam: I did CUTE LOL as always.

Squidly: I would never think we could-eth sound like that...

Bazzy: Ye boys did great!

A man comes up and tells them what a swell and unique performance they did. He reveals he's a band manager for bands like Boys Who Cry, Ned and The Needlefish and etc. He asks them if they would like to sign a deal with him as a band.

Squidward: Beats my old life. I'm going to be a star!

Squilliam: On tour with Squidward? But that would shun my eg- oh what the heck sign me up.

Squidly: If it means more drops of hot chocolate!

They all sign and await to see what happens next.

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Episode 2:

Squidly Spork, Squidward Tentacles and Squilliam Fancyson have all been given a chance to become an alternative music band. After the Koffey Krab was closed for the night, they stayed to talk to the band manager about their future as musicians. They sat at the bar and drank coffee. Bazzy was interested about this so she allowed them to stay and talk business there.

Their new band manager named Jaden Lamp told them that they would be judged by various other musicians.... but this wouldn't happen for a while since the studio was already booked.

Squidward: So what do we do until then?

Jaden Lamp: Just wait until we call you. Until then stay in the city.

Squilliam: And how long will this "call" be?

Jaden Lamp: Anywhere from a week to a month.

All three (except that Squidly had a -eth at the end of month): A month?!

Jaden Lamp: Yes... the studio is always full of other people who want to become artists. It's not like it's just yourselves. Well...uh These things need to be planned in advance and the fact that I AM able to get you guys inside in a month WITHOUT making reservations until today is incredible!

Squidward: Well, I guess we could wait a while.

Squidly: Be-eth no problem for me. Except I might need a place to stay and... uh bathe.

Squilliam: And what I may ask is the name of the company that you manager for again Mr. Lamp? Just wondering.

Jaden Lamp: Uh.....

Squidward: "Uh"? What do you mean "Uh"?

Jaden Lamp: Uh... as in the Uhman International Businesses!

Squilliam: Uhman? My father has worked along side about every big named musician studio...

Squidly: But I thought-eth he drilled for oil!

Squilliam: He also studied at the Bikini Bottom Art University.

Jaden: Well it happens to be uh.. A smaller and newer company yeah.

Squidward: But you said you worked for names like Boys Who Cry and Ned and the Needlefish. Being the fan of Boys Who Cry that I am, they would NEVER go for a company that's small.

Jaden: Well it branched off from the older company.

Squidward: I guess that would make sense.

Squidly: So do-eth we get special rooms until thee wait or...?

Jaden: Rooms?

Jaden Lamp without a second to blink runs out with his coffee outside the door.

All:. .......

Squidly: 29840991.jpg

Bazzy: ....Suppose he was a fake.

Squidward: WHAT? This can't be!

Bazzy: Sorry boys I really am, you know you could always perform here at the Koffey Krab. Ye were so great that I wouldn't mind having you perform again.

Squidward: I can't believe we were dooped by someone we barely knew!

Squidly: Well we knew-eth he liked coffee.

Squidward: And I was going to be rich and famous!

Squilliam: And I was going to be rich and famous too.... wait I already am! LOL

Squidward: Thanks for the offer Mrs. Krabs but..wait Krabs? As in Eugene Krabs is related to you?

Bazzy: He happens to be me big brother. Why do you know him?

Squidward: I work as a cashier at his grease fry trap.

Squilliam: Heh....cashier

Squidward: :bullshrimp:

Bazzy: Well any employee of Krabs is an employee of mine. Does this mean you're not going back to ye ole job?

Squidward: At this point playing the clarinet live every week sounds a lot better than my old job...

Squidly: And singing beat-eth dancing on the street for quarters.

Squilliam: Weren't you pelted by quarters?

Squidly: Yeah.... :(

Squilliam: Well singing at a bar doesn't sound like the life of luxury for me. And of my social status it would look dreadful to do so.

Squidward: Of course it would.

Squilliam: Well I do have a reputation to attain unlike some cashier boys and royal doofuses.

Squidly: Again, that would be royal fool.

Bazzy: So you won't be staying with the rest of the band?

Squilliam: Yes for as I stated before, I actually have a life.

Squidward: Oooh and I don't have a life too Mr. Rich Boy? I actually decided to stay with the band.

Squilliam: If you call dreaming about everything I succeeded in and earning two dollars an hour a life. *he smirks and rolls his eyes*

Squidward *getting up with clenched fists* I've had enough of this Fancyson! I'D HAD IT!

Squilliam: Sudden burst of angry eh Squiddy?

Squidward: Ohh you don't know the half of it.... For the last twenty years you've been calling me poor and saying I sucked eggs in high school. Saying I was a dumb blonde and the worst thing to happen to Bikini Bottom High! You ruined everything I cherished rather be a crush, a career or any happiness I had in my adult life!

Squilliam: You did that all on your own Squidward. It's not my fault you were and are untalented. *laughs*

Squidward socks Squilliam in his big fat nose, causing him to fall off the bar stool and onto the hard ground. Causing Bazzy and Squidly to help him up.

Squidly, singing: Now Squilliam told one bad line and Squidward wasn't fine, so now Squilliam lays on the floooor!

Bazzy: Now I barely know you all. But violence wasn't at all helpful now was it? You all three stuck together this night and made wonderful music. Ye can't be balin' out on each other now. You are friends now.

Squilliam: Friends? Okay, now this is just pathetic.

Squidward: I could say something else is pathetic. *Squidward leaves the Koffee Krab, slamming the door doing so*

Squidly29840991.jpg

Squilliam: Boy did he have a tempter....

Bazzy, thinking: Boy.... ME BOYS? Where are my triplets?! They left hours ago.

Squidly: You hath not seen them since?

Bazzy: No and that's why I am worried. They're never out this late *looks at clock and it says 12:30 AM* .

She decides to go looking for them for herself and leaves the two alone.

Squidly: We must-eth get the band back.

Squilliam: What? We're you were not just listening to the conversation? It's over!

Squidly: Not it be not!

Squilliam: Definitely weren't listening.

Squidly grabs his arm and looks him in the eye.

Squidly: Listen because I be-eth only saying it once. Thou know that we both don't have any where else to go. Thou may have-eth all the money in the world rich boy, but friends that thou can stick by? That be-eth priceless.

Squilliam: Wow... that is actually kinda something what you just said.

Squidly: What? I was just reading from a gum wrapper that fell-eth into my hot chocolate.

Squilliam: I guess we should get that cashier back.

They go searching for Squidward outside into Blistering Bottom. They search in the streets but can't find him at all. All of a sudden Squilliam spots Squidward with Bazzy Krabs and her three sons from a distance in an alley.

Squidly: Squidwart!

Squilliam: Actually it's Squidward.

Squidly: Squidward!

The two get closer to them to see Squidward and the Krabs family held at gun point by two thieves who were wearing socks for masks.

Thief 1: PUT THE MONEY IN THE BAG! PUT IT IN!

One of Bazzy's sons seeSquilliam and Squidly.

Son 1: Hey it's that jester and Monobrow!

Squilliam: Monobrow?

The thieves turn around and see them.

Thief 2: Get em!

Squilliam: Hey hey, if it's money you guys want... uh I have tons that I can give you. *he writes out a check*

Thief 1: We don't want money, we want to see you Squidward!

Squidward: Me? What kind of thieves are you? And how do you know my name?

Thief 1: We aren't thieves!

*they take off their masks to be SpongeBob SquarePants and Patrick Star*

Squidward: SPONGEBOB? PATRICK? What?!

Bazzy: Who?

Squidly: The chosen ones! :o

Squilliam: Oh them...

Son 2: Is that a talking cheese?

SpongeBob: We got worried for you when you never came back to Bikini Bottom!

Squidward: So you put on masks?

Patrick: actually those were for next Halloween, we thought we would show you them once we met you here.

Squidward: Well don't bother about worrying anymore, because I'm coming back now.

Squilliam: Wait Squidward! Don't go. I am... sorry for what I said. Our band IS important to me now.

SpongeBob and Patrick: A band?

Squidward: Well I don't know

Squilliam, I don't think being abused at is worth coming back.

Squidly: Please! We need-eth our clarinet player Squidwart!

Squilliam: It's still Squidward... And he's right.

Squidward: Well... I guess so... But we don't even have a band manager anymore and we aren't even famous. It doesn't even matter.

Bazzy: Who says ye need to be famous already? There's a top and a bottom for a reason.

Squilliam: Exactly, we can find our band manager any time, but we only have this time to be a band together.

All: Awwwwww.

SpongeBob: I don't know really what's going on, but that was beautiful.

Squidward: Wow, Squilliam that was deep.

Squilliam: I just read a gum wrapper that Squidly gave me. LOL

Squidly: Turns out I had-eth tons of them inside thy hot chocolate.

Bazzy: Well now that ye boys be reunited, how about a coffee celebration!

Bazzy's triplets: Yay!

Bazzy: Except for you three have school tomorrow.

Bazzy's triplets: Dang it...

*Back at the Koffee Krab in a table*

SpongeBob: So you started a band with your revival and a jester who looks familiar to me?

Squidward: Yep.

Patrick: So are you coming back to Bikini Bottom?

Squidward: Uh probably not right now.

SpongeBob: Well we guess we understand... we're going to miss you buddy for now.

Squidward: ditto

SpongeBob/Pat: Really?! :D

Squidward: HAHAHA NO.

SB/Pat: :(

Squidward: For once I finally have the chance to be away from the vain of my existences!

Squilliam: Hey Pal LOL <3

Squidward: Well almost. -_-

Bazzy: Let's all toast to ye three boys for being a band again! And fer being apart of my entertain' system.

Squidly: We didn't agree to-eth that.

Bazzy: You do if you want this toast! Ar Ar Ar Ar Ar!

Squidward: To better times!

*they all cling their coffee cups together and music starts as the the scene focuses out of the Koffee Krab and onto the sun rising to a new day in Blistering Bottom.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AFPervOXVgg

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Well I just spent like 2 and a half hours reading that and *sigh* that was beautiful. It made me feel more confident, I definitely like Cha more (I didn't even think that was possible XD ) and it even made Squidlsy my second favourite character. GOD that was BEAUTIFUL.

ENCORE

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