CDCB Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 We all remember SpongeBob's friend Used Napkin from "I Had an Accident," right? Here's a little spin-off dedicated to him. Episode 1 - I Talk About Myself What's up in the hypothetical hood, guys? My name is Used Napkin and I'm here to give you an endless smattering of details about myself whether you want them or not. If you have an objection to this then I politely request that you remove yourself immediately. Your kind is not wanted here. You see, I'm more than a mere piece of paper that you slide across your face. Don't trust the idiot who named this spin-off. He knows nothing about me. Nobody does. You will be the first to hear... to learn... the truth. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CDCB Posted June 9, 2013 Author Share Posted June 9, 2013 Episode 2 - I Talk About My Origin (Part 1) Look at this. When I was born, this is what they put me through. I applaud the brave soul who had the courage to record this footage. Because of his bravery people around the world can understand the horrors that us napkins have to endure when we are born. All the slicing, dicing, and chopping in this video brings back horrible memories of my experiences in the Bikini Bottom Napkin Factory. You can imagine my relief when the machine broke down while my chopped body was being carried across the conveyor belt. It gave me a moment to ponder what was happening to me. But that was only the beginning... 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jjs Goodman Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 Award winning story with such a great character. My new favorite spin-off. I will definitely keep up with this. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CDCB Posted June 9, 2013 Author Share Posted June 9, 2013 Used Napkin: Thank you, kind sir for your appreciation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
So Sejima Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 SO FUNNY! CANT STOP LAUGHING 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CDCB Posted June 9, 2013 Author Share Posted June 9, 2013 SO FUNNY! CANT STOP LAUGHING Used Napkin: I hope you are laughing with me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
So Sejima Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 Used Napkin: I hope you are laughing with me... I am Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CDCB Posted June 9, 2013 Author Share Posted June 9, 2013 I am Used Napkin: That's good to know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
box Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 Amazing, Used Napkin was the best character, 202 + stars. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CDCB Posted June 10, 2013 Author Share Posted June 10, 2013 Amazing, Used Napkin was the best character, 202 + stars. Used Napkin: I am better than both the Salami and the Baloney combined. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CDCB Posted June 10, 2013 Author Share Posted June 10, 2013 Episode 3 - I Talk About My Origin (Part 2) I continued to ponder the things that were happening to me. One minute I was being sewn together, the next I'm being hauled across a conveyer belt without a clue where I'm headed. I would have jumped off and run away, but that was impossible, me being limbless and all. All I could do was hope for a wind to blow me out the window and free me from the horrors that I was going to endure. Just my luck. Somebody fixed the conveyor belt and had it working again, completely ruining my plan for freedom. As the belt rolled on, it brought me closer to the edge. Closer... Closer... Closer... Until... 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CDCB Posted June 10, 2013 Author Share Posted June 10, 2013 Episode 4 - Filler #1 The following has nothing to do with me or my origin, except maybe that the properties described here are trademarks of Viacom. I request that you proceed to enjoy this regardless of its relevancy. Also, do note that the following was written by a 6 year old. Once upon a time, Dora the Explorer went into the woods and saw a bear. She got eaten by the bear and she was killed. So Map went inside the bear's mouth and saved Dora. But only Map didn't see Dora. She was chomped up in pieces. Then Boots went in and saw Map and then the bear put his eyeballs into his stomach and saw them saving Dora. And then he put his mouth in and said, "Dora's nowhere to be seen. She's down in my butt." And then the bear pooped her out. And the bear peed out Boots and Map and they went into a pile of orange juice. And then they saw a wolf and climbed on the wolf's back. Then they got an ax and chopped his head off! Then a rabbit came and then they chopped the whole body and ate the rabbit. Then Swiper came and saw the bear and he attacked the bear. But the bear attacked back and killed Swiper and just ate Swiper. And that's the end. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
So Sejima Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Funny filler Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CDCB Posted June 11, 2013 Author Share Posted June 11, 2013 Episode 5 - My Napkin Kin Imagine, if you will, being born and five minutes later you're crammed together with 99 other guys that you don't even know. It's a very jarring feeling and in my case there was no exception, except maybe that I was the lucky napkin who wound up in the middle of the stack. I decided that while I was there I might as well make the best of the situation and try to associate myself with these guys. Logically I decided that it was best to start off with a greeting. "Sup dawgs, I'm Napkin 50." "You're... crushing my... spine!" said Napkin 37. "Do you know any chiropractors?" Napkin 22 asked Napkin 18. Somehow, I don't think this social thing was quite working out for me. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MMM Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 This is hilarious. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CDCB Posted June 12, 2013 Author Share Posted June 12, 2013 Episode 6 - Napkin 50's First Move Napkins 1-49 hated me because I was "refusing" to remove myself from their diminishing spines. I tried to explain that moving around in a package with 99 other napkins was impossible, but they just called me stubborn. Morons. "Whoa dudes! There's like...an earthquake!" said Napkin 82. Indeed, the entire package was being shaken, but unlike the idiotic Napkin 82, I could tell that this was no earthquake. Something bigger than us... something larger was moving us to parts unknown. *THUMP* The next thing I knew, I was surrounded by approximately 9,999 other napkins. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MMM Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 It's still hilarious and probably pretty accurate if napkins could talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CDCB Posted June 12, 2013 Author Share Posted June 12, 2013 It's still hilarious and probably pretty accurate if napkins could talk. Used Napkin: Oh, we are perfectly capable of talking, good sir. We just don't talk in front of you inferiors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MMM Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Used Napkin: Oh, we are perfectly capable of talking, good sir. We just don't talk in front of you inferiors. Very sorry, Mister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CDCB Posted June 12, 2013 Author Share Posted June 12, 2013 Very sorry, Mister. Used Napkin: I am debating whether or not I should accept your apology. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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