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Community Deathmatch opens back up to a video package for a returning member.

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RISE to the Velveteenj experience.

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Thinks twice. But acts once. Looking away is not possible. It's what you ALL yearn to be. The Velveteenj.

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The scene then switches to the backstage area of the Deathmatch Arena, where Karen is standing by with a mic in hand and looking to ready to conduct an interview.

Karen: Teenj has been blessed by the ssj gods with a new username: The Velveteenj! But with that out of the way. Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time, SpongeOddFan

The camera zooms out to show SOF standing next to her with Omair and Harish, of course, being not too far away from their maharawat. They applaud SOF for a good minute or two before finally fading back into the background. SOF is looking more accomplished with himself than usual for some reason.

Karen: SOF, you were recently bestowed a great honor here in the SpongeBob Community. During the last round Golden Community Awards, your peers voted for you to be the latest inductee of SBC's Honorary Member Hall of Fame! How does it feel to be the latest recipient of one SBC's highest honors?

SOF: Holy shit, I have no idea I actually won anything.

SOF nudges for Omair and Harish to applaud him again for this accomplishment, which they happily oblige to.

Karen. really? You looked pretty happy with yourself just now, I just sort of assumed you were aware.

SOF: Karen, I am your Modern Day Maharrrrrawat! It is a title of honor that I carry with me everywhere I go for the rest of my life. But to be SBC's Honorary Member, this is like I've been here since 2010, even longer if tv.com were taken into account. Damn, it makes me feel very special that SBC is growing with community for me to come here, meeting new friends, chatting on XAT, play games lke WOF/D&D and winning some stuff that i've never been more accomplished than I do right now. As much I enjoyed being part of the SpongeBob Community. Without SpongeOddFan, it won't be same with SBC. So first and foremost, your maharawat would like to thank the 1.3 billion people of India, who have all voted for me to receive this title, and I shall wear it proudly as a symbol of solidarity for my country! I would also like to thank the 1.3 billion people of India again, for giving me even more momentum heading into my Most Active Member title match against the impostors that this community has lined up to fail at the feet of The Modern Maharawat! Now, I shall speak to my in my home language of punjabi!

SOF obnoxiously clears his throat before speaking to his people once again.

SOF: Maiṁ bhārata dē lōkāṁ dā dhanavāda karanā cāhudā hāṁ jō-

Karen: AAAAHHH!!!

Omair and Harish hastily pulls SOF out of the way as a stray trash can soars onto the scene and crashes where SOF had been previously standing. SOF fumes as Trophy "The Trash Man" Stealer jogs into view, laughing maniacally to himself as he begins to devour the contents of the can he just threw.

Trophy: Heheheheh! The Trash Man! Uuuueeeerrrhh! Uuueerrhhh!

Karen: Ladies and gentlemen, it appears as though we have just been blessed by the ssj gods with the unwanted and unwarranted presence of The Trash Man!

Trophy gnaws on some used toilet paper and scowls and growls at the camera.

Karen: What brings you all the way out here, this far from the shoutbox, Trash Man?

Trophy: I smelled a whole heap of gobbage coming from this way, so I came here to gobble it all up before anyone else could! But I see now that the only gobbage around here

Trophy turns to face SOF, sniffing him.

Trophy: Is you!

SOF angrily overreacts, wanting Omair and Harish to hold him back in order to prevent him from maiming The Trash Man himself.

SOF: Who do you think you're talking to, you filthy rodent!? I am your maharawat, your honorary member, and I demand respect!

Trophy: Well, get in line you crazy Canuck! The Trash Man has been overlooked for years! I only started getting attention the moment I decided to start eating garbage! Arrrruuuhh! Arrrrruuuh! Arrrrgh!

Trophy's primal growling startles SOF, who then shoves Omair and Harish in between himself and The Trash Man.

SOF: Well get used to the disappointment, peasant! You didn't win an award this past awards season, you've barely won any of your deathmatches! You can't even be likable enough to win a day! You are THAT fucking pathetic!

Trophy: I don't need to be liked by these people! I'm a self-made Trash Man! I'm a villain! The only reason you were voted into that Most Active User title match is because those people wanted to see you get killed by Zaid. Me, on the other hand, I voted for myself! None of you had the balls to even do that, yet The Trash Man did! I've been overlooked for years, so that was me putting the spotlight on myself! But even that act of selfish selflessness wasn't enough to do me any good! So before you go demanding respect, I want you to remember real good just how good you've got it compared to The Trash Man! Ayeeeaarhhh! Ayeeeehhh!

Trophy scares SOF some more until the director of Community Deathmatch, Guano, barges onto the scene to check on what all the hubbub was about.

Guano: Just what the hell is going on here?! I've got a year's worth of deathmatches left to write and direct, and here you all are yelling right outside my door!

SOF: Guan, this pissant disrespected me, your maharawat! So just take out the trash k?

Guano: My mahara-what now?

Trophy: Guano, I don't like how my character is being overlooked. It's time to take The Trash Man out of retirement! This is what the people really want, not some fake pompous asshole with a text impediment!

Guano: A 15 year-old kid eating trash? Nobody wants to see that.

Everybody starts arguing mover each other, pushing Guano to his boiling point.

Guano: Alright, look! LOOK! Let's settle this whole problem the only way that we know how around here, with a good ole fashioned Deathmatch!

The crowd pops at the announcement.

Guano: Next time on Community Deathmatch, it'll be "The Modern Day Maharwat" taking on "The Trash Man", and the winner will go on to compete for the Community Deathmatch Most Active Member title alongside Fred Rechid, Hayden, The OBAB Show, Crushingmayhem and ZaidCatDog in the six-way dance!

SOF: WHAT?! WHY DO I HAVE TO RISK MY TITLE SHOT FOR THIS PEASANT?!

Guano: Ratings, SOF. All the sweet, precious ratings.

SOF: This is bullshit! This is a slap in the face of your maharawat!

Guano: I have good faith in you, SOF. Really, I do. You pulled off a miracle at the GCAs, so I have no doubt in my mind that you could pull another one here! As you were, gentlemen. Preferably, farther away from my office.

Guano walks off, leaving SOF to seeth. SOF turns back around to see Trophy laughing maniacally right in his face.

Trophy: Heheheheh! Arrrrruuugghhh! Ayyyeeeeerh!

Trophy scares off SOF and his lackeys. The scene then switches back to Chad Francis and Hayden.

Chad Francis: Can you believe it, Hayden?! Next time on Community Deathmatch, we are going to witness The Modern Day Maharawat and The Trash Man fight to death!

Hayden: I don't exactly know how to feel about this, Francis! I could very well be sharing the same ring as The Trash Man! Just having those words leave my mouth makes me wanna vomit. What are the odds that they'll just kill each other and save everybody the embarrassment?

Chad Francis: I'd say not too good, Hayden. But speaking of next time, I have officially received word from my sources on Wikipedia that "The Snark Knight" JCM will be making his Deathmatch return in what's explicitly stated to be "just a cameo"! What could that possibly mean, Hayden?!

Hayden: It means that we truly are getting desperate for ratings, it seems.

Chad Francis Well that is then, folks, because right now, it is main event time! "The Good Guy" Crushing Mayhem will step into the ring for the first time ever! Just who will his first opponent be?! My sources tell me that they've heard rumblings that it could be a fellow moderator. Could we possibly see Crushing Mayhem pitted against his best friend, Metal Snake?!

Hayden: I sure hope so, Francis! The less competition for me and jjs, the better!

Chad Francis: Prepare to witness history here, folks! The main event starts NOW! 

We head down to the ring where Karen is standing by to do the official introductions.

Karen: Ladies and gentlemen, the following Deathmatch is scheduled to have ads enabled!

Crowd: ENABLED!!!

Karen: Introducing first, from somewhere in the world, Puerto Rico! "The Warrior of the Net", "The Defender of the Community"! He is "The Good Guy" Crushing Mayhem!

Crushing: *SPITS* I spit in the face of people who don't want to contribute!

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Crushing makes his entrance, eating his trademark slice of bread. The crowd pops hard for The Good Guy affirming the place he's had in their arteries since his very first appearance on the show. Crushing swallows down some bread as he takes in the euphoric feeling of the bustling activity that's erupting from the crowd. He posts that he's feeling "average" in the How Are You Feeling Now? (Emotionally) thread, to an even louder pop.

Chad Francis: "The Shining Star of the Shining Star!" "The Pride of Puerto Rico!" Crushing Mayhem is here to step into the Deathmatch ring an active member, and he is looking to step right back out even more active than he was going in! Neither rain, nor sleet, nor hail will stop him from logging on! He's no sold hurricanes and black outs, all to be able keep coming back to this home away from home that we all call The SpongeBob Community!

Hayden: I hope you brought a condom with you tonight, Francis. Sounds like you're gonna need it once the show's over.

Crushing enters the ring and posts for the crowd some more.

Chad Francis: The Good Guy steps into the ring to compete for his first time, but just how good to go is he? The last time we were blessed with his presence, he was borrowing Internet from his local library. He was merely helping to fight off an unfair assault that time, and even then, it was barely enough to sustain himself!

Hayden: Crushing has gone on record to say that his home Internet is back online, unless, of course, that was yet another contradiction on his part in yet another attempt to make himself sound competent. I guess we'll have ourselves a true answer in just a few moments.

Chad Francis: Well, there is one thing we all can count on, everywhere we turn we see Crush Mayhem there breathing life into this community! A trait that may prove to be more than beneficial in the Deathmatch ring tonight!

Hayden: A trait that should be beneficial, but it all comes down to just who is standing across from him in that ring.

Chad Francis: And we will find that out, right now!

Karen: And his opponent,

"BLAZE IT UUUUUP!!!"

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Chad Francis: OOOH MYYYY!!

Hayden: You have gotta be fucking kidding me?!

Chad Francis: THE GREAT AYA IS BACK IN THE DEATHMATCH ARENAAAA!!!

Aya smugly makes her way to the ring, flaunting her SBM global moderator badge proudly to the crowd as she does so. Crushing reacts with a "bored" post in How Are You Feeling Now? thread. 

Chad Francis: Talk about a big match feel here, Hayden! Two of SBC's most active, both being active duty moderators on opposing SpongeBob fan sites! If ever there were an SBC vs SBM scenario here in the Deathmatch Arena, this has potential to be just that and much more!

Crowd: YOU SOLD OUT! YOU SOLD OUT! YOU SOLD OUT! YOU SOLD OUT!

Aya: I didn't sell out, I bought in!

Hayden: Well, you sure as hell wasted lunch money there.

Chad Francis: While this may be a dual-site literature, this is still very much a pro-SBC crowd, being that this still is "Community" Deathmatch.

Hayden: Yep, and this pro-SBC crowd takes none too kindly to this turncoat conducting herself the way she is right now. I never thought I'd ever find myself saying this, but I really want Crushing to win here.

Chad Francis: But "The Good Guy" may very well have his hands full in this matchup, Hayden! "The Man" according to his twitter profile, Aya is certainly no stranger to Community Deathmatch! He's competed in his fair share of deathmatches over the years, including one against Crushing's old, dear friend, Jelly, in what was a barn burner of a season finale!

Hayden: And now she's back looking to do that once again with another of SBC's latino population. But that match against Jelly resulted in a crushing loss for Aya's America, has she learned anything since then, and will she apply it to Crushing here tonight?

Chad Francis: For his sake, he better, or he will risk not being seen as a top member here among Deathmatch's elite! Aya hasn't been seen in active Deathmatch competition since that fateful match against Jelly, he may just be written off entirely if things don't go his way tonight!

Hayden: I sure hope that's the case, Francis, I really fucking do!

Aya grabs Crushing's last update from the How Are You Feeling Now? (Emotionally) thread and throws it right back in his face.

Chad Francis: A blatant show of disrespect on Aya's part towards Crushing's contribution!

Hayden: There is no low that she won't go to feed that insatiable ego of hers, even willing to go so low as to get down on her knees and help herself to some of that meat. And even after all that, she was still made a mod of the "kid-friendly" SpongeBob fansite!

Chad Francis: His methods since bursting onto the scene five years has been questionable at best, but you can't deny the results he's been seeing since then! Working his ask thread up to being the most posted-in topic in all of SBC, learning directly under the founder of Community Deathmatch himself,

Hayden: Pause on that.

Chad Francis: became the first ever chat mod on SBM,

Hayden: Or as I see it as, cafeteria supervisor.

Chad Francis: working his way all the way up to becoming a global moderator on what is arguably the biggest SpongeBob fansite on the web! He's come a long way! He's redesigned, he's rebuilt, and now he is looking to reclaim himself tonight! "The Man" vs "The Good Guy"! Here. We. GO!

Aya and Crushing square off with each other in the ring, tensions building uncontrollably.

Clem: Alright you two no-lives! I want a good, clean fight! No spamming and/or unnecessary posts whatsoever! Any last requ-

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Chad Francis: Holy shit! I can't believe it! "¡El Señor!", "The Ooze", The Executive Producer is here, LIVE, in the Deathmatch Arena!

Hayden: And we already know all about the history he has with one of these two competitors, Francis! It looks like the great Aya is already calling in favors in getting this Deathmatch in her favor!

Chad Francis: Here's the big boss, the man whose money flows through the Deathmatch Arena like blood in its veins! He is what's keeping the budget, well, budgeted. He helps in producing the spectacle that is Community Deathmatch episode by episode! Just what does The Executive Producer have to say after such a long, butt-pounding, action-packed night that isn't finished yet?!

Ozu: First and foremost, I would like to thank each and every one of you who line up, waiting to get into MY arena and waiting ever so patiently to view MY show that I slave over putting together on MY budget! But now that that is out of the way, I would just like to make an announcement regarding this match up. In fact, I would like to raise the stakes here a bit more by offering you two a business opportunity! A chance for one you two to increase your username value, because the winner of this Deathmatch shall be crowned MY first ever

Ozu motions for his Yes Man to come out, who is carrying with him a burlap sack. Yes Man reaches into the sack and hands the contents over to Ozu.

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Ozu: SPONGEBOB UNIVERSAL CHAMPIOOOOOOON!!!

Chad Francis: & Hayden: WHAT?!!?!?!?!?

Crushing posts a new emotional feeling update, feeling rather "above average" after that announcement, while Aya marks out like the mark for herself that she is.

Chad Francis: A brand spankin' new championship title has been introduced here tonight, and we will be crowning the first ever title holder also tonight!

Hayden: Big things are certainly popping for Community Deathmatch in 2018, but I just can't help but bring to attention just what these two overly-active marmosets have done to even earn such a grand business opportunity by The Executive Producer, himself?! This is Crushing's first ever Deathmatch and already he was getting the buildup and fanfare befitting of a potential face of the community, but to be given such a huge championship match after years of being just a one-note character, it is just beyond ridiculous, Francis! And Aya, she's only gotten one win over a glorified jobber of all people, and she's lost the the only major match she's had! And isn't just convenient that she is one of the two reasons why this guy is even relevant around here anymore in the first place? Neither of these two are worthy to be thrown into such a position! This is just yet another example of what the hilaryfan80 regime is doing to this community; playing favorites! As big of a moment for Community Deathmatch as this is, I feel that it's my duty to call bullshit on this one, Francis! And bullshit doesn't like receiving calls this late at night! (At the time of this writing)

Chad Francis: Call it however you want, Hayden, all that we know is that we're getting a brand new SpongeBob Universal Champion here tonight!

Ozu: Ring the bell!

Crushing is immediately met with a hard steel chair shot to the back. Aya continues cracking against steel against Crushing's spine mercilessly as Clem hastily calls for the bell to be rung in order to officially start this Deathmatch. Aya continues to wail away on Crushing with the chair like a madman for about a hot minute before placing the chair under his head. She waits for him to stir himself back up before pulling him in and planting him back down with an emphatic Curb Stomp right onto the chair, crushing his head against the cold steel under her boot. 

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Crushing instinctively rolls out of the ring to try as Aya yells at Clem to check whether Crushing is dead or not, but she quickly gets her answer as Crushing pops back up to his feet, but holding his head in pain. Aya scopes him out before running the ropes again and diving right on top of him.

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Landing on her feet, this gives Aya the opportunity to quickly continue her assault as Crushing actively recuperates. He picks his downed opponent up and seats Crushing up onto her shoulders. She then charges towards the security barricade with Crushing still in tow, power bombing him back-first right onto the security barrier that separates the crowd from the ring.

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She picks Crushing back up and running power bombs him again against the ring apron, without a doubt the hardest part of the ring.

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Aya calls Clem back to check on Crushing's status. Clem checks his pulse before picking his arm up and let's it drop back down to the floor, but Crushing stops his arm from hitting the floors, showing a sign of life that tells Clem that he's still in this thing.

Chad Francis: Aya immediately and underhandedly went on the offensive right out of the gate, doing her best to overwhelm The Good Guy in her wave of activity, but Crushing will not be put out to pasture that easily!

Aya angrily runs over to Curb Stomp Crushing's cranium back into the hard floor of the arena, but Crushing manages to move his head out of the way and avoids Aya's foot. He then sweeps the leg, tripping Aya out from under her and she lands hard on the floor alongside him. Crushing picks Aya up, places her in a headlock and runs up the steel ring post for a Sliced Bread #2 right on the arena floor.

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Chad Francis: Crushing showing exactly why he is the innovator of activity, rallying himself up to mount both a defensive and offensive against The Architect of The Fantastic Five!

Hayden: She's gonna need to call in a few favors from them too if she wants to get out of this one alive!

Crushing throws Aya back in the ring. She gets back up to her feet as Crushing makes his way back in, prompting him to deck her with a vicious clothesline, turning her inside out as she plops on the floor. He then picks Aya up by the arm and puts her in a wrist lock, wrenching away on her arm before ramming into her repeatedly with some rough shoulder blocks. He then pounds away on Aya with four hard right hands before clocking in a fifth discus punch, but as he was spinning around and winding up for the hit, Aya manages to duck it and clocks him with an enzuigiri kick.

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They both crash to the mat from all the fatigue, both competitors having to struggle back up to their feet. Aya makes up to her feet first, goading Crushing to get up as well for a well-placed jumping knee strike right in the face of The Good Guy. Crushing refuses to let the force of the blow knock him off his feet, so Aya then runs the ropes and drops Crushing with a one foot drop kick to the face, right where she kneed him. Crushing's nose is bleeding profusely from the back-to-back blows as he's laid out on his back. Aya ascends the ring ropes and sizes him up for something real special, a Phoenix splash, which she nails picture perfectly.

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But before she could make contact, Crushing manages to get his knees up, causing Aya to land directly on his knees and more than likely cracking more than a few ribs from the impact. Crushing actively springs back up and pulls Aya in for a back stabber.

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Crushing the places Aya into an excruciating abdominal stretch, placing even more pressure and discomfort on his midsection.

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Chad Francis: What a hell of a Deathmatch we've been treated so far! A hotly contested, back and forth match for the right to be called the Champion of the SpongeBob Universe! And after such a red-hot start, Aya seems to be slowly fizzling out the longer that this match goes on! Long-term activity only serves to empower his opponent, and Aya is finding that out for himself first-hand!

Hayden: This is a member who refused to let Mother Nature, herself,  take her course and prevent him from being active on this site. Aya may think she's pretty great, but if something as great as that can't kill this man's activity, then I don't think that anything, either in this world or the next, can!

Aya manages to elbow away at both Crushing's knee and ribs, but he pulls her in deeper for a rolling death cradle, having her at his mercy

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Aya flails back her elbows wildly mid-roll, forcing Crush to break his hold and leaving him open enough for Aya to go for another enzuigiri kick, but Crushing sees it coming and counters it

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Chad Francis: Crushing may have just taken away Aya's most lethal weapon in his arsenal! Those knee strikes were instrumental in dealing as much damage to The Good Guy as he has!

Crushing allows Aya the opportunity to get back up to her feet in order to face him on equal footing. Aya charges with another knee strike to the face, but Crushing blocks it effortlessly. She tries surprising him with a right hand next, but Crushing calculates that too and quickly makes her pay for it dearly.

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Chad Francis: An absolutely crushing series of posting combos by The Good Guy! The likes of which we haven't even seen here in the hallowed walls of the Deathmatch Arena! Crushing, truly in a master class all his own, throwing Aya around like he were a rag doll!

Hayden: More like a sex doll, I'd say.

Chad Francis: How does it feel like having to step into the ring with this hell of a mang in the near future, Hayden?! ZaidCatDog might not be the only monster you'll have to contend with!

Hayden: While I do have to admit that this has been quite the eye opener, this is also a learning experience for me. With each second that this Deathmatch goes on, the more I get to study and calculate his posting strategy and then come up with a full-proof counter to said posting strategy! No one is unbeatable here, in fact, I'd say that I have golden community award-winning strategy in mind right now! So you're kind of right there, Francis, Zaid isn't the only monster these other sheep have to contend with, because I will be in that ring too, and so will my best friend, jjs!

Aya is slung to the outside, being thrown right through the ropes and landing hard on the arena floor. She crawls around in agony before reaching under the ring for something. Crushing approaches her from inside the ring and grabs her by the hair in an attempt to pull her back inside, but Aya cracks him right in the skull with another steel chair as he does so. Crushing collapses in the ring as Aya taunts him and the crowd with the chair at ringside.

Hayden: An actually smart, well played move by Aya there, but will she be able to capitalize on this opening that she's given herself? Because she's usually the one opening herself to other people, as we have all seen before, so this might be new territory for her.

Aya pulls herself into the ring, using the ropes to support herself as she sizes Crushing up for another running Curb Stomp, but Crushing manages to roll out of the way in the nick of time. Aya continues to give chase as Crushing rolls away and nails him with a stiff super kick as he went to get back up to his knees.

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She then picks him back up and readies him for another well placed, possibly match-ending knee to the face.

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But Crushing manages to block the knee at the last second and pulls Aya in for another Sliced Bread #2, but as he leaps off the ropes, he transitions his body even more, turning it into another back stabber and then immediately locking Aya in his patented Mayhem Crusher, cranking away on her back and slowly using her own arms to choke the life out of her.

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Aya finds herself now fighting to not lose consciousness, as that means imminent death. 

Chad Francis: Aya has found himself firmly locked in the Mayhem Crusher after a flawless counter to the knee strike by Crushing! Will he muster up the balls necessary to escape this death grip, or will he eat defeat yet again at the hands of another filthy foreigner?!

Hayden: In spite of the fact that Crushing and I will be adversaries in that ring very soon, I hope the latter will be happening, Francis. I really fucking do.

Chad Francis: My sources tell me that the only reason Aya came across SBC in the first place was through her initial association with you, Hayden. Care to elaborate on that backstory?

Hayden: The less that's said, the better.

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Chad Francis: OH MY GOODNESS FUCKING GRACIOUS!

Hayden: Now you have REALLY GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!

Chad Francis: "The Ace in the Hole", "The Lunatic Cringe", Cha has returned to the Deathmatch Arenaaaa!!!

Hayden: Who in jjs' name let this fucking fool out of her dungeon?! Aya pulling out all the stops, all the favors in order to cement herself as something she sorely is not! She's only got three holes going in, and two of them are being occupied by The Executive Producer and Cha!

Chad Francis: He's got two holes going in, Hayden!

Cha prances her way down to the ring with a bunch of papers in hand.

Chad Francis: We haven't seen Cha in an active role in this lit since since she, too, ate defeat at the hands of the Jellyfish Jammer!

Hayden: One can only assume that she's here to suck up to Aya some more and help her win this match and the SpongeBob Universal championship!

Chad Francis: She's bringing with her an assortment of papers! What could they possibly be for?!

Cha enters the ring and gets right in Aya's face, who is still locked in the Mayhem Crusher.

Cha: Here's your divorce papers! All well thought out and organized with both of our best interests in mind, you son of a bitch!

Chad Francis: Cha's got the divorce papers that Aya's long sought after, and what a time to bring them to her, right on death's door!

Cha throws the divorce papers in Crushing's face and breaks the Mayhem Crusher with an elbow drop right on his throat.

Hayden: OH SNAP, I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT, FRANCIS!

Cha: The Royal Fool is attacking The Good Guy! She's coming through in the clutch with the assist to Aya!

Chad Francis: That's my line, you bitch! Very much like the time Aya's ask thread was facing close competition with OMJ's ask thread, Cha came along and helped to widen the gap exponentially for The Man to maintain his top thread title!

Cha connects with a few more wild punches to Crushing's head and face before picking him up and planting him down with Dirty Weebs.

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Chad Francis: No good weeb goes unpunished as the Dirty Weebs connects with The Good Guy!

Clem gets closer to exam Crushing's body, which instinctively responds with an "average" in the emotional thread.

Chad Francis: Consciously or not, The Good Guy is somehow still in this thing!

Cha helps Aya back up and brings The Man back to her senses, pointing down to Crushing to signal something much worse for The Good Guy.

Aya spreads her arms and legs apart before bringing them back together to primally roar

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Aya: KAWAIIIIIIIIII-

Cha: No, no, not like that! KAWAIIIIIIIIIII!

Aya: KA-WA-IIIIIIIII-

Cha: No, no! It's KAWA-

Hayden: Oh will you two just shut the fuck up and do it already!

Chad Francis: Interpret that as you may!

Cha hoists Crushing up onto Aya's shoulders, positioning him for a Double Powerbomb. They charge right towards one of the corner turnbuckles and they proceed to Powerbomb through it, impaling him right through the steel ring post. The ring post is erupting out of his stomach, with some of his intestine being strewn out for all to see. He lies around the ring post, motionless, prompting Clem to check on his situation.

Chad Francis: We've seen this move being executed by the likes of Team Rage before! It's the very same maneuver that killed Jelly following her win over Aya! Perhaps Aya HAS learned a thing or two from that experience!

Clem calls for the bell as Aya and Cha celebrate like the next episode of The Frollo Show just dropped.

Hayden: Not like this! NOT LIKE THIS!

Chad Francis: Aya has just won the SpongeBob Universal Championshi-

Crushing: OYÉ!

Crushing is seen pulling himself up off of the ring post, pulling his entire body through with sheer willpower alone. Once unstuck, he lands right on his feet, stumbling a little, before rising back up with his right hand over the gaping hole in stomach.

Crushing: I didn't hear no bell yet, chicos!

Hayden: Thank Neptune, my prayers have been answered!

Chad Francis: Crushing adamantly refusing to say "DIE", frees himself from the ring post with every fiber he has left in his being! I can not believe what I am seeing here, folks! How is this even possible?! Some of his intestines has been forcibly forced out of his body!! No one has ever survived an insta-kill move like that here on Community Deathmatch!!!

Crushing: Good times don't last...but Good Guys do, mang!

Hayden: Well there's your answer, Francis!

Cha looks to go back on the attack, but she's held back by Aya, who wants a piece of Crushing for herself. Aya drop kicks Crushing back into the corner that he was impaled through. They trade back and forths as if it were 2013. Aya blocks a couple of Crushing's incoming punches and rocks him with a knee strike to the gut, followed by a knee strike to the face and then wrapping that up with an enzuigiri kick to the head. She grabs his prone head and bangs it repeatedly against the bloody turnbuckle that his guts were still wrapped around. She grabs Crushing and readies him for a Pedogree.

Chad Francis: Shades of h8/ old Fantastic Five stablemate, Clapmaster, being shown here, as he looks to finish Crushing off with Clappy's signature move!

Hayden: A move that's been specifically designed by Clappy, himself, to bury any and everybody! So quite the veteran move by The Man, I must admit.

But before Aya could fully execute the move, Crushing frees himself by pushing her into Cha, sending The Ace back through the ropes. Aya gives Cha a like, giving Cha the strength to prevent herself from falling out of the ring. Cha slingshots her back into the fray. Aya sees her coming and ducks, allowing Cha to catch Crushing by complete surprise with a Foolish Lariat that's fueled by some strong like-baiting tbc fan art.

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Chad Francis: Cha putting everything on the line for Aya, even her coveted art! She's won practically every day for a reason, folks!

Hayden: And that reason is like-baiting bullshit like that! Which should automatically strike her from the record books much like how that stupid idiot OMJ's posting record has been wiped clean!

Aya pulls out a lighter and fills it up. She then dumps oil on a downed Crushing. Crushing attempts to get back up to his feet but he slips on the oil. Aya flicks on the lighter and holds it up for all to see.

Chad Francis: Aya appears to be setting her opponent up for her Side B! Can Crushing even respond to it in time after all the damage he's taken?!

Aya: BLAZE IT UUUUUUUUUPPPPP!!!

Aya throws the lighter at Crushing and sets him ablaze.

Hayden: She's never done drugs a day in her life, the fucking fake ass, the fucking blind leading the blind!

Chad Francis: The Flame Egg has made contact, and Crushing is feeling every freakin bit of it!

Crushing flails around the ring, engulfed in flames. Aya helps Cha up and they back away, leaving the fire to do its work. Crushing eventually succumbs to the attack, falling to the mat. Clem has a fire extinguisher brought to him and he extinguishes the flames before they could get anymore out of control. Once the smoke settles, all we can see is the charred, burnt remains of Crushing. Clem examines steaming corpse, deciding that enough is enough. He goes to raise Aya's hand in victory.

Clem: WINNER, AY-

Crushing: Good times...may not...last...

They all turn to see Crushing extra crispy slowly rising back up to his feet.

Crushing: but good guys...DO, MANG!

Chad Francis: BOBBA MIA! CRUSHING MAYHEM WILL NOT DIE!

Hayden: Way to pull through in the clutch, Crush!

Pissed off at her inability to finish her opponent off, Aya grabs Clem throws him into Crushing like a battering ram, but Crushing catches him and places the server safely in the corner. Aya leaps off the ropes for a diving knee, but Crushing sidesteps it, barely grazing it, and strikes The Man down with a vicious lariat in midair. Cha comes back in with a drop kick of her own, but Crushing blocks it and knocks her down as well. He lifts them both up, setting them up for a double suplex combo. But as soon as he goes to lift the both of them, Crushing begins to crumble under the combined weight, strain and damage he has taken. This allows Aya and Cha to take over nail him with double slingshot suplex.

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Chad Francis: It appears that Crushing has pushed himself farther than his mind and body could handle! You can't help but admire the fight in The Good Guy, but what cost is he willing to pay in order to keep this level of activity up against two almost equally as active members simultaneously?!

Hayden: Fight through the pain, Crush! Post about it if you have to! You've done it before and you will do it agayn, god damn it! This turncoat can't win!

Aya and Cha continue double teaming Crushing, bombarding him repeatedly with their head canon.

The scene cuts to somewhere in Puerto Rico, where Lil Squidly is seen meddling with Crushing's Internet connection.

Hayden: That little bastard! So he's the one behind this?!

Chad Francis: Shades of Cha's very first Deathmatch against Jelly beginning to show itself here as Lil Squidly, who we have not seen or heard from in almost five years, has been brought off the shelf and has been enlisted once again to meddle with somebody else's Internet this time!

Hayden: A completely cheap, underhanded and very bitch tactic being employed by these two bitches, Francis! Crushing just had his Internet all squared away and now they are working to undo all of that!

Chad Francis: I can't disagree with you there, Hayden, but deathmatches are won by any means necessary! Anything can and will go here, and this is no different! Aya's found a weakness, and like any weakness that find in a life or death situation, you have to exploit it by any means necessary in order to win!

Hayden: I just wish that anybody BUT the dick touch trio here were the ones employing it.

Cha pulls a weakened and battle-fatigued Crushing up and has him in position for another Dirty Weebs. Aya ascends the rope and sizes them up for something huge. Just then, Aya leaps off the ropes, using her foot to stomp the prone Crushing's head down, pulling Cha down with them in a Curb Stomp/Dirty Weebs combo that they'd like to call "To Be Discontinued". Crushing's head splatters on impact from the combined force of both moves. Aya yells at Clem to examine the body, which he does.

Chad Francis: Crushing has been To Be Discontinued! But will it be enough to do just that?!

Suddenly, Crushing's hand grasps Clem's collar, who is getting freaked out by the fact that a headless, burnt body is still being active by showing signs of life. Aya looks on horrified until Crushing's headless, charred remains plops back down to the mat, defeated.

Clem: WINNER, AYA!

The Executive Producer steps into the ring to reward Aya with the newly minted SpongeBob Universal Title.

Ozu: Aya, it is my highest honor to bestow onto you the-

But Aya just snatches the title out of his hands and pushes him out of the way. She poses on the turnbuckles with her newly won title to a very mixed reaction from the crowd.

Chad Francis: The manhood dream has come true! The Man has finally become just that after so long, almost five fucking years! He has redesigned, he has rebuilt, and now, he has claimed, without a doubt, Deathmatch's greatest prize as his own! Aya has become Community Deathmatch's first ever SpongeBob Universal Champion!!

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Aya celebrates up the entrance ramp and Cha joins in, gifting her with the divorce papers that she's longed for as a little something extra to go along with her win. They then hold up each other's arms in victory with the SpongeBob Universal Title in between them.

Chad Francis: And now Aya has been given the divorce papers! The dream truly coming full-circle for him, but what could it possibly mean for Chaya from here on out? Could there be shared custody between them over the ownership of the SpongeBob Universal Title?! Cha did say that she had those papers done up with both of their best interests in mind!

Hayden: I'll tell you what. This is fucking bullshit, Francis! She has claimed nothing on her own! She made it this far off of the blood, sweat and tears of others! She is nothing, and she will continue to be nothing no matter how hard the hilaryfan80 agenda wants to push it! I know it! You know it! Everybody in this fucking arena knows it! This bitch does not deserve shit! You can be damn sure that my best friend, jjs, and I will not stand for this true injustice that's been done towards our community!

Chad Francis: Well until then, folks, we're all out of time! I'm Chad Francis!

Hayden: I'm fucking pissed off, and you should be too.

Chad Francis: Wishing you all a good fight, good night!

https://youtu.be/0wymm2l-kt8

Post-credits, we open up to The Executive Producer's officer, where The Executive Producer is having a conference call following tonight's huge event.

Ozu: Yes, I can see it all now, the rating's for this episode will be through the roof, I know it!

Caller #1: And this new champion of yours, can she be trusted to carry the brand?

Caller #2: Can she carry out our agenda?

Ozu: Gentlemen, would I have given him the championship if he weren't?

Caller #3: She's certainly not as active or as strong as the other one was.

Ozu: Crushing would be much too conflicted, he has a track record of getting in the way of progress. I must admit, though, he had me shitting my pants out there thinking he could actually win.

Caller #4: Then what makes this Aya a better candidate to be the face of Community Deathmatch?

Ozu: He knows when to stay in line. Throw that dog a bone and you'll have that bitch on a leash in no time.

Caller #5: And if that bitch proves to be uncontrollable?

Ozu: Well, that's the great thing about championships, they can change hands!

Caller #1: In any case, we have taken it upon ourselves to provide a little "insurance".

Ozu notices a box on his desk that wasn't there earlier. He opens it and takes out its contents.

Ozu: A key?

Caller #5: Just in case.

Ozu: May I ask what for, exactly?

Caller #3: You'll know when the time comes.

The call goes dead. Ozu exams the key and sees that it's been engraved with poop symbol and the word "balæna". The door to his office bursts open and Guano angrily barges in. Ozu hides the key away from sight.

Guano: Dad, we need to talk.

TL;DR results

 

Spongetron w/Metal Snake defeats Katniss w/Wumbo


Angry Koopa defeats Illiniguy
Aya defeats Crushing to be crowned the first ever Community Deathmatch SpongeBob Universal Champion

Next time

 

SOF vs Trophy: Winner gets into the 6-Way Most Active User Title match


The Deathmatch in-ring return of JCM!
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The following you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is not entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein... Anyway, it's just posts!

 

 

Honor Among Friends

Our episode opens up to The OBAB Show fine tuning yet another spazzie award-nominated installment of his cut rate episodic literature, The OBAB Show, when he is approached by a big name in the spinoff/lit industry.

The OBAB Show: Wow! Did you come here to submit your personality to me in order to be featured on The OBAB Show? Because Neptune knows I can't get to know who everybody is on my own outside of the other aspiring trash mongers!

Jjs: Then why are you on my friends list for? You know what, that's besides the point. I am truly glad to have someone like you on my friends list, OBAB! You're bold, you're brash, you are strong! You're a perfect rock to lean on during times of crisis. That, my friend, is value and I value that about you.

OBAB: You really mean that?

Jjs: Of course, I do! I see something in you that those crybabies over at SBM will never be wise to. You bring a certain entertainment value that very few people have even come close mastering in this fandom of ours. I, myself, am one of those people, and I can recognize that very same talent when I see it, and OBAB, you most certainly have...

???: ........IT!

Hayden walks into scene now with two envelopes in hand.

Hayden: And by entrusting you with these, my best friend, jjs, and I would like to officially welcome you into our inner circle! So what do you say, ol' bold and brash, do you want to keep slumming in the trash for the rest of your god forsaken online life or do you want to get the respect that you rightfully deserve from the two people whose opinions matter most around here?

OBAB: Didn't you two run me down before? You pegged me as hot garbage and then said that you'll kill me easy?

OBAB gets in both of their faces, but jjs and Hayden keep their cool.

Hayden: Us? You must have us confused for that stupid idiot, ssj or-

Jjs grabs Hayden by the shoulder and pulls him back a little, cutting him off.

Jjs: I think what my best friend is trying to say is that we did do just that, but since then, we've had plenty of time to think all that bad blood over, which is why we are here to make things right by you, OBAB. You certainly don't belong in the trash and what you contribute is what I would barely even consider to be "spam".

OBAB: Not a spam?

Jjs: Most definitely NOT a spam!

Hayden: We're trying to make things up for you the best that we can.

Hayden hands the envelopes over to OBAB.

Hayden: And I think you'll find that these will more than make up for it.

Jjs: Our personalities :)

OBAB eagerly opens the envelopes and views their contents, awe struck.

OBAB: Y-You mean that I...

OBAB begins to tear up in joy.

Jjs: My best friend, Hayden, and I both figured that if we could boost Community Deathmatch's quality to greater, unseen heights, then just think of what we can do for The OBAB Show.

OBAB: I-I...honestlydontknowwhattosay!

OBAB tries to hide his tears, but continuing to hide them behind his eyes is proving to be too much for him.

Jjs: There's no need to say anything, you don't owe us a thing! Except maybe, starring roles of course.

OBAB: You'll both be top billing! I'll personally see to that!

Hayden: Although, we, as your new best friends, do feel that we owe it to you to give you

Hayden pulls a third envelope from his pocket and hands it over to OBAB.

Hayden: this.

OBAB: A third personality?

Jjs: It's an idea we both came up with that we wanna pitch to you :)

OBAB opens up the third envelope and skims it over.

OBAB: This is the personality sheet for ZaidCatDog. It says here that he's to be a new villain?

Jjs: Precisely. You see, Hayden and I thought that the old dynamic between you and Blaze and any other (insert typical troll here) has gotten stale, so we want to try shake it up a bit! Of course, you've got the final say, but please, take some time to really think this one through. Every hero is only as great as their villain, after all! 

Hayden: And you can't get much worse than the guy who didn't even knew the theme song lyrics of the show he was trying to parody.

OBAB continues looking the personality sheet over, becoming more and more aggravated the more he read.

OBAB: This is a spam to him? He thinks that The OBAB Show is a spam and it deserves to be vanquished?!

Hayden: His words, not ours-

OBAB: THIS IS NOT A SPAM! ;)

OBAB begins to have a tantrum, putting both Jjs and Hayden on edge.

Jjs: We know that, OBAB! Believe me, we do! But not everybody is like us, OBAB!

Hayden: We are honest men! We genuinely like your product, we don't just go around getting people's hopes up by liking things ironically! We are better than that. People who do shit like that, they are weak! They are lying to more than just your face, they are lying to themselves! 

Jjs: These people don't know what the fuck they want! You think that you're doing something good for them, and then they turn on you like nothing! This is exactly why we are extending our circle out to you because we know, we get you! This is why I welcomed you with open arms when SBM threw you away like garbage! You don't belong in the trash, OBAB. You belong with people who truly care about your well being, who will never give up on you the way  THEY did. This community needs works like this, it needs The Riffing Theater and The OBAB Show to slap these people with a little bit of reality, but only that, to help them improve themselves. We are not a bunch of self-obsessed maniacs. We are a community, THE SpongeBob Community!

Jjs puts his hand on OBAB's shoulder to provide some comfort.

Hayden: We humbly ask this of you as friends, OBAB,

Hayden puts his hand on OBAB's other shoulder.

Hayden: please, help us make that word mean something again.

OBAB plants his face in his hands and wipes all the tears away. He looks back towards jjs and Hayden with a cold expression on his face.

OBAB: Tonight, The OBAB Show is back on the air.

Chad Francis: Welcome death fans, to what is sure to be another butt-pounding installment of one of SBC's longest running bi-monthly episodic literatures! Welcome to Community Deathmatch! I am spunky SpongeBob reporter, Chad Francis! Joining me in calling tonight's action is none other than-

Hayden: And what you are experiencing now is none other than The Gift of Hayden Tho, so have your snacky snacks at the ready as you proceed to drink it iiiiiiin, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn!!! Now THAT is how you do me justice, Francis! Why is your worthless, cheap popping, meme ass still out here?! Huh?! That's my best friend's spot that your parasitic, dead account is currently occupying!

Chad Francis: Well, I've got some hard questions for you too, Hayden. Just what do you and jjs have planned there with OBAB, and does it have anything to do with the fact that you have no hope in hell of beating the biggest threat to your Most Active Member aspirations, ZaidCatDog?!

Hayden: What you saw back there was my best friend, jjs, and I making someone feel warmly welcomed in this community! Now I know that the word "community" might mean jack shit to most of you hypocrites in this day and age, but jjs and I, we still like to use it in our daily vocabulary whenever we decide to log on! Which is a lot more being put in than what could be said for practically all of you! And just who are you to try and ridicule me about not having what it takes to beat Zaid? That is a gross assumption on your part, meme gene. Such big talk coming from the guy who, along with his previous stupid idiot broadcast partner, has their asses handed to them by Zaid on a silver platter.

Chad Francis: Yes, Hayden. You are correct about that, I DID have my ass handed to me by The Worst Incarnate, so I should know from first-hand experience just what a member like him capable of! And seeing what you are capable from the best seat in the house, I must say that you have absolutely nothing on what any of your five opponents are capable of!

Hayden: Oh, is that so?

Chad Francis: Yes it is, Hayden. No matter how bad he may get, Zaid always gets the job done in emphatic fashion! Crushing gave one of the most impassioned performances in Deathmatch history during his hotly-contested SpongeBob Universal title match against Aya last time! We've all seen the damage that OBAB is capable of over on SBM, I just hope he's smart enough to see past your lies and deceit! Fred has come a long way as one of SBC's top-seeded cashiers! Even the two users fighting for their spot here tonight, SOF and Trophy! Both of them have breathed new life into their characters and they are both going on the tear of their online lives! And then we have you, Hayden, still jjs' butt buddy after all these years! Still holding his jock because you can't even hold a candle to him and everything that he's accomplished for himself! It's a wonder why he has so much invested in you? I'd like to say its all just a pity fuck on his part, but who in their right mind would ever have people for someone as deplorable as you, I just can't wrap my mind around it!

Hayden: You wanna know what he sees in me, Tad? Do ya?!

Chad Francis: Yes, I'm sure we'd all like to be enlightened!

Hayden: Well prepare to reach the epitome of enlightenment, because plain and simple, WE ARE BEST FRIENDS.

Chad Francis: Yeah, sure! If it helps you sleep at night.

Hayden: It does! It does help me sleep at night, and do you know why? I can sleep easy knowing that there is at least one person in this world full of sheep who I can truly depend on. I can just go ahead and count the sheeple while the one exception, my best friend, joins me during the countdown. The same goes both ways. And you are all fucking jealous of that kind of a bond because you all wouldn't know what having a best friend is even if one fell right onto your laps. Look at yourself, Tad. You're nothing but a joke character based on a joke member that's somehow, by some miracle, amounted to slightly more than what the person you're based off of ever could achieve in his entire existence. I AM THE REAL DEAL. If anybody is the threat heading into this six-way, Tad, it's me. Because I have achieved what no one else, aside from my new best friend, OBAB, in this six-way could! I've made lasting friendships, and things like that don't die. They can never die! And to further prove my point, I am more than willing to step into that ring tonight!

Chad Francis: Oh, sit the fuck down, we all know that's just another one of your lies.

Hayden: Then why don't you just come down to that ring with me? And maybe then you will see first-hand that I truly am an honest man.

Chad Francis: You can't be serious!

Hayden: Dead serious, in fact. Come on, Tad! The crowd wants...

Hayden & The Crowd: ...IT!

Hayden: I want...

Hayden & The Crowd: ...IT!

Hayden: and I sure as hell know that you want...

Hayden & The Crowd: ...IT!

Hayden: So why not just do...

Hayden & The Crowd: ...IT?!

Hayden: I mean, it's like you said, you've already stood on opposite sides of that ring with the very capable ZaidCatDog. What could a piece of shit like me possibly do that he can't?

Chad Francis considers taking up the challenge when his train of thought is suddenly interrupted by a hard slap to face.

Hayden: Oh yeah, I can do that. Be seeing you in that ring, buddy!

Hayden takes off his headset and heads down to the ring. 

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After a few minutes, Chad removes his own and follows suit. 

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Chad and Hayden square each other up in the ring. They're about to go at it even without a referee dispatched to officiate, but they find themselves interrupted by the timely arrival of The Executive Producer.

Ozu: STOP! Just what is it that you two are trying to accomplish here?! There is no referee present, no sanction has been made. I can't very well let two members of my esteemed broadcast team kill each other at the beginning of a broadcast, it is unprecedented! A Deathmatch First, one might say... In case you have all forgotten, this is MY arena! MY production! MY word is law within the confines of MY show! And as such, this match has been given MY blessing to be officially sanctioned! And don't worry, those of you viewing from the comfort of your own homes, for I have a replacement broadcast team already in mind!

Wumbo makes his way out to much fanfare, handing off a link to his blog to a very lucky guest in the audience who will definitely not be going there, before making his way up to the broadcast booth and taking Chad's seat.

Wumbo: If you think this is gonna get political, well don't. I've just sworn a solemn oath backstage to cut that bull crap and to moderate the action right down the middle. Just as long as things in that ring don't get too unnecessary or even remotely spammy, well then that'll just be a-okay! Politics are completely out the window from here on out. Lets get my broadcast partner out here, shall we?

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Renegade: Sick of this entrance yet?

Wumbo: As Neptune is my witness, I really fucked myself over here, didn't I?

Renegade joins Wumbo in the broadcast booth, choosing to sit Indian-style on the announce table instead of taking Hayden's seat next to Wumbo. His plumber's crack is on full display for Wumbo to view exclusively. Renegade collects his thoughts before finally breaking the ice between the two.

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Renegade: Thoughts?

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Wumbo: I'd much rather take 2Chainz's "Crack" than deal with yours on any given day of the week, that's the first thought that comes into my mind.

Renegade: Can't we just get through this episode without you constantly being on my ass about something, as much as the thought of that turns me on right now.

WhoBob: Not funny.

Wumbo: We can't even go through a status update without so much as that. But taking what you just said, very non-comedically, might I add (thank you WhoBob), into account, I will definitely be making more of an effort to do so.

Renegade: So, what are your thoughts on this match-up?

Wumbo: I hope Hayden fucking dies.

Renegade: Well, at least we can agree to disagree.

Wumbo: Progress! Not that you would know anything about that, but still.

Clem runs into the ring and follows The Executive Producer's orders by immediately calling for the bell to be rung.

Wumbo: And with that, this impromptu Deathmatch can finally get underway!

Chad Francis and Hayden quickly tangle up with Chad getting the early advantage, taking Hayden for a ride by throwing him around with some quick news updates coming straight from Wikipedia.

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Wumbo: Ready, Willing and Reliable, as he likes to describe himself! Chad, going straight to the source with some devastating looking news updates right out of the gate! It could put Hayden out of the posting news on the shoutbox business if he can keep this 

Renegade: He's ready and willing to go straight to an uncited and unreliable source, Wumbo. What he is spreading around is pretty much fake news, for lack of a better term. Just look at how hazardous, how sketch it looks on first glance. He's leading people, yourself included, on and taking them for a ride with the wrong information.

Wumbo: Well, at least his sources are a lot more credible than your opinions.

Chad goes to throw Hayden again, but Hayden manages to turn it around and overtake Chad. Before Hayden can inform Chad with some news of his own, Chad manages to counter Hayden into an ankle lock.

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After a few seconds of torture, Hayden summons the strength to counter himself out of it, using the ropes as both leverage and a weapon.

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Hayden scrambles of the ring in order to come up with a game plan, leaving Chad with some time to recuperate from the whiplash in the ring.

Hayden: You can't touch me, I'm the real news around here! Me, not some meme!

Crowd: MEME!

Hayden: ME!

Crowd: MEME!

Hayden: ME!

Crowd MEME!

Hayden: ME!

Hayden continues to go back and forth with the crowd.

Renegade: Hayden, showing some pretty surprising and knowledgable ring awareness here in the early-goings of this Deathmatch. Expertly maneuvering himself out of Chad Francis' ankle lock with some help from the handy ring ropes.

Wumbo: And much like The Wu-Tang Clan, those ring ropes are nothing to fuck with, folks. Made out of elevator cable wire, those ropes have single-handedly torn off a wrestler's ear in real life. I should know, it's been written into the script specifically for me to say by one of SBC's renowned wrestling experts.

Things between Hayden and the crowd starts boiling over as he grabs one of the guests at ringside and pulls them over the barricade, slamming them hard down onto the arena floor with a scream of frustration. He then mounts the guest with a series of hard lefts and rights.

Wumbo: Hayden is flat-out attacking the guests in attendance here this evening! This will certainly do us no favors in attracting more potential members! Hayden is soiling the good SBC name with this deplorable act of brutality! We here at SBC do not condone actions such as these!

Renegade: Yeah, but being snide about it on the shoutbox and in status updates are things that do fly around here.

Wumbo: How could jjs possibly let something like this slide?!

Renegade: It's quite simple, my dear Wumbo, Hayden is jjs' hand-picked best friend and golden boy. Every forum has that marquee non-staff member who is the heart, soul and ass kisser of the community, and Hayden fits jjs' definition of that bill to a tee.

Wumbo: Either way, this is just inexcusable.

Chad makes his way to the outside and links Hayden with yet another hard piece of news on the arena floor, dropping Hayden of the back of his head and saving the guest for anymore punishment. He then takes the action back into the ring by throwing Hayden in. Hayden gets back up and blindsides Chad on his way back in, kicking him in the gut and throwing Chad into the ropes. Chad bounces back as Hayden tries to get him with a pop-up link about some news regarding some Duck Tales, but Chad Francis surprises him with another amazing counter link about the two new weeks of SpongeBob episodes coming up.

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Renegade: Fake news! Everybody and Webby's mother knows there's only one new week coming up, Chad Francis merely got Hayden with some cheap click bait.

Chad attempts to take advantage of the situation by ascending the top rope for a high-risk, uncredited piece of news.

Chad Francis: THREE NEW WEEKS OF SPONGEBOB AIRING SOON! AIR DATE TBA!

Chad then leaps off for a triple rotation moonsault, one for each new weeks of episodes, and lands it on Hayden.

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Wumbo: Chad Francis is putting his integrity as a SpongeBob news reporter on the line here in this Deathmatch!

Renegade: But at what cost, Wumbo? It's stupid moves and decisions like that that can ruin one's news career. People are gonna find out the truth eventually and realize that what Chad's putting out is all for show.

Wumbo: At least he's bold enough to put it all out there, unlike you, who would just rather tuck and hide it immediately afterwards because even you can't defend your own opinions.

Clem checks on Hayden's status, who manages to put his hand up to indicate that he is still alive, which Chad can't believe. Chad goes to link Hayden with some more news, but Hayden is able to hold him off and stop his tracks, back elbowing Chad in the face as he tries doing so. He then grabs Chad and throws him shoulder-first into the corner ring post. Chad slumps down in the corner, holding his shoulder. Hayden plans out his next move, backing himself into the opposite corner in order to size Chad up for something huge.

Hayden: Jjs, get your butt in this thread stat, new batch of Power Rangers news coming just for you!

Hayden comes shooting out of the corner at Chad like a cannonball with some Super Ninja Steel news, but Chad dodges it in the knick of time, causing Hayden to crash and burn right into the ringpost for himself. Chad grabs Hayden from behind again, shoves him into the turnbuckle and links him up with a Tom Kenny interview that he didn't conduct for a new channel that he has no affiliation with.

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Clem check for a pulse again and once again, Hayden manages to show a sign that he's still in this thing. Chad Francis is in even more disbelief.

Renegade: You can only go so far in life reporting fake news. Chad Francis is just starting to realize his threshold right now.

Wumbo: You should know, getting by on such delicate, fragile opinions hasn't done you any favors in life neither.

Chad heads over to link up some more, but Hayden grabs him and throws Chad into the ropes once again, causing Chad's head and neck to snap against it. He then gets Chad up for another Pop-Up Window link about the air dates for Steven Universe's upcoming new episodes. Chad takes the news hard as Hayden nails it with full authority. Clem checks on Chad and determines that he still has a pulse, forcing Hayden to take drastic measures. Hayden throws Chad to the outside and lifts him up for a devastating power bomb onto the ring apron. The back of Chad's head and neck takes the full brunt of the move.

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Wumbo: Oh dear Lorde!

Hayden dusts off his hands, more than pleased with his handiwork. He shifts his attention towards Clem.

Hayden: Make the damn call! He's over! Done with!

Clem exits the ring and tends to Chad at ringside, who is unresponsive and has blood coming out from the back of his head, nose and mouth.

Hayden: Raise my fucking hand already, you stupid idiot!

Clem goes to do just that.

Clem: WINNER, HAYDEN-

Hayden quickly pulls his arm away.

Hayden: Get your paws off me, you damn, dirty stupid idiot!

Hayden then shifts his attention and ire towards the crowd.

Hayden: THIS JUST IN! IT'S ME! I WON YOU BUNCH OF SHEEP! ME! I AM THE NEWS! AND IN MORE BREAKING NEWS, I WILL SOON BE YOUR MOST ACTIVE MEMBER! ME!

Jjs comes out and embraces Hayden on the entrance ramp, celebrating his best friend's first ever Deathmatch victory.

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Wumbo: Hayden wasting little to no time in basking in his self-righteous glory, and here comes jjs to enable it.

Renegade: The facts don't lie, Wumbo, and Hayden brings with him nothing but the facts. As cold and hard as they may be. Like my dick right now.

Wumbo: Hard, I can get, but why is it cold?

Renegade: I WAS IN THE POOL! :funny:

Wumbo: Haha yes Seinfeld. I know :glare:

Renegade: But speaking of my dick, I'd say that Hayden's chances of winning The Most Active User six-way has just gone up. And I'll just leave it at that.

Wumbo: No reasoning behind why you think that?

Renegade: I have no strong opinion on Hayden's chances whatsoever.

Wumbo: Well, I'd personally say that despite the obvious animosity that's there, I felt Hayden really came into his own here tonight. He used his strengths and his environment against his opponent, and while I do not condone bashing potential members, you can't really argue the display of intensity in Hayden's performance here tonight in the face of a very strong ground game that was implemented by his opponent, Chad Francis.

Renegade: A strong ground game, sure, but Francis made the fatal mistake of going too high risk, sending himself literally over the moon happy with the absolutely shoddy news content that he was putting out here tonight. My opinion isn't too strong on the matter, but he really left himself open for Hayden to take full advantage of following that three weeks of new SpongeBob announcement. He just was not ready to back that sort of bombshell up and I think he ended up just causing more damage to himself than his opponent. And if we're lucky, that pathetic display was hopefully the last we'll ever see of the spunky SpongeBob reporter here on Community Deathmatch. That's all I'll have to say on that matter.

Wumbo: Well, it definitely won't be the last we'll see of Hayden, as he heads into the Six-Way Most Active User Title match with some much needed momentum as well as a much needed win on his own. Many people, myself included, were of the impression that he would just fall back on his friendship with jjs, that he wouldn't be able to stand on his own two feet, but Hayden has proven himself to be just as brutal on his own. But this point has to be made here, he only got a win over a "meme character", as he likes to call them. He's gonna be stepping into the same ring as five of Community Deathmatch's elite for the right to be called Community Deathmatch's Most Active! Will he be able to hang with them? And more importantly, just who will claim that right as their own?!

Renegade: No comment.

Wumbo: You're shooting an awful lot of blanks tonight, Ren. No wonder why your two girlfriends never bothered coming back for you.

Renegade: Anyway, speaking of the Most Active Member Six-Way, "The Modern Day Maharawat" SpongeOddFan, will be putting his spot in the big dance on the line when he locks horns with Trophy "The Trash Man" Stealer later on tonight!

Wumbo: But coming up, the newly crowned SpongeBob Universal Champion, The Great Aya, will make make presence known right here in the Deathmatch Arena and, as rumor has it, will address any and all future challengers to her title! "The Man" comes around NEXT, as Community Deathmatch rolls on LIVE!

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The episode opens back up to somewhere backstage, where Spongetron and Metal Snake are looking to spread the word of love.

Spongetron: My name is Spongetron Snake, and I am the First Lady of The SpongeBob Community! And this, this is MY MAN!

Metal Snake: I...am Metal Snake! X3

Spongetron: Almost four years ago, I joined SBC in search of something. Something very special! Something that my heart ached for, and that something was love! Something that everyone needs, but not everyone finds

Metal Snake: But luckily, you found me, Sweetie Pie! :3

Spongetron: ;3 so for those of you who haven't found love, THIS might be the closest you'll ever come to it!

Metal Snake: So just lurk in our ask threads and embrace OUR passion!

Spongetron: And witness...the magic...

Spongetron & Metal Snake: ...of...friendship!

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Renegade: Don't they just give you the greatest (GREATEST) boner you've ever had, or is it just me? :funny:

Wumbo: Well...we're back! Thank you for continuing to join us here on Community Deathmatch, even in light of some noticeable broadcast changes earlier in the show. In case you missed it or just flat-out refused to read, the previous broadcast team, Hayden and Chad Francis' issues with each other reached its crescendo, culminating in a heated, impromptu Deathmatch that Hayden won, unfortunately.

Renegade: And if you're just joining us, we here in the Deathmatch Arena are about to bare witness to Community Deathmatch's first ever SpongeBob Universal Champion, Aya, who's making her first in-ring appearance since killing Crushingmayhem for the title! And rumor has it that she is here to shed some light on where her SBC career is going, as well as to address any and all potential challengers to her title.

Wumbo: I am receiving word from Deathmatch officials right now that Aya  is officially here in the building.

Renegade: Let us all give a warm welcome, well at least slightly warmer than what most of you give me, to Deathmatch's conquering hero, "The Man", "The Architect of SBM", your SpongeBob Universal Champion, The Great Aya!

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Wumbo: What in Todd's name? Th-This isn't Aya! Who-Who is this member and why does it look like they just...found a random picture on the Internet to pass themself off as?!

Renegade: I don't know, but whoever that is can get it, that's all I gotta say- hey, wait just one gosh darn minute here. I know that missing child anywhere, Wumbo! Tha-That's gotta be The Wolverine! The Wolverine has raised all sorts of hell over on SBM throughout the past year and it appears as though they're finally looking to bring that vintage brand of hell raising across the border onto SBC soil.

Wumbo: Just how do you know that missing child anywhere?

The Wolverine makes their way down the ramp, all while taking the time to chastise some of the audience members for not being good enough SpongeBob fans.

Renegade: There is no one that could make you dislike the classic character that is Wolverine quite like this asshole can. Even WhoBob had to go against his moral code and speak ill of Logan in order to get his point across that thick, adamantium coated skull. So come on already, staff, do your job and ban this dumb fuck already.

Wumbo: Yes, what he said.

Wumbo says, nudging and winking to have them ban Renegade instead.

Wolverine steps into the ring and demands to be handed a microphone.

Wolverine: For those of you who don't know I am, I don't care! SpongeBob is the only thing you need to know. Every time I come onto these forums, I dominate the discussion! I've carved a path of deconstruction and broken arguments to get here! And my arrival signals The End of Discussion for anyone that stands in my way! I look at this..."SpongeBob" Community, and I think to myself, there is really nothing worth knowing sponge about. There's no discussions, there's barely even any fans! You had to condense everything that made your namesake relevant into one dead, hollow, poor excuse for a section. And don't even get me started on its contents. Almost nothing but a bunch of pussies posting empty, thankless feedback towards the show that made everything here possible in the first place! This is about more than just some bitch who can't decide which gender she wants to be today, parading around some title that wouldn't even exist without SpongeBob! It's about fucking time that somebody stepped up to restore balance to this fandom! So I'm sorry, "Great Aya", but I'm afraid you're just gonna have to settle with taking a backseat to the real main event of the evening, and every evening for that matter on your local Nickelodeon station! I am The Lone SpongeBob Fan, and I-

???: Hold my beer.

The camera pans around the entire sold-out arena, trying to pinpoint the source of that piece of dialogue. A lone, rather extreme SpongeBob fan is seen making his through the masses.

Renegade: Who's this fucking dumbass and why should I form an opinion of him?

The crowd begins singing along to this user's theme.

Crowd: SAY YOUR PRAYERS LITTLE ONE! DON'T FORGET MY SON! TO INCLUDE EVERYONE!

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Crowd: I TUCK YOU IN! WARM WITHIN! KEEP YOU FREE FROM SIN! TIL THE MOLUCLEMAN COOOOOOMES!

The Molucleman is busting open and chugging down cold one after cold one, but leaves just enough to hand the can off for a random audience member to hold as he makes his way down.

Wumbo: Who would have ever thought that The Molucleman from SBM would ever make an appearance here in the Deathmatch Arena, let alone make another appearance on SBM ever again after that one-shot post he made about how he doesn't want to see SpongeBob end before adding an exclamation to that point that point by claiming that SpongeBob SquarePants is one of the best shows he's ever seen! Truer words have never been spoken by a four year old!

Crowd: SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEEEEN! GRIPPING YOUR PILLOW TIGHT!

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Wumbo: Steel's got the right idea, but lets just hope that right idea doesn't become yet another spinoff.

Renegade: The Molucleman looking as if he has just finished up a SpongeBob binge, a beer binge, what have you?! Double the brain cell killing, I guess! And now he's straddling his way through the crowd and to the ring! He'd be lucky if he doesn't kill himself on the way over!

Crowd: EXIIIITTT LIGHT! ENTEEEERRRR NIGHT! TAAAAAKE MY HAAAAND! WE'RE OFF TO KRABBY KRABBY LAND!

Wolverine: Stop getting excited for him! You should be excited for me, goddammit! FOR ME!

Wumbo: And as expected, The Wolverine is absolutely losing his shit over the fact that this newbie is getting a much warmer reception than he could ever hope to receive both online and in real life! Perhaps in some parallel universe where you're not a complete fucking douchebag and using missing children posters as your reality images, you bloody cunt. And now OMJ is asking in the script if everybody's happy now that he's taking the piss out of somebody that deserves, and I think I speak for all of us when I say that "yes, we are. But it still won't be enough to get any of us to actually read this."

The Molucleman takes some time to shove SpongeBob down more audience members' throats before finally staggering into the ring to meet The Wolverine face to face.

Renegade: Never before have two self-proclaimed "big fans of SpongeBob" ever shared a deathmatch ring at the same time. Not until this very moment! Yet another Deathmatch first on a floating shopping list full of em. There is just no telling what either of these fans will do when their fandoms are on the line!

The Molucleman whips out his Singapore cane and uses it to pelt Wolverine repeatedly, knocking him out of the ring.

Wumbo: The Molucleman wasting no time making the first move with a weapon from his homeland of Singapore!

Renegade: Dishing out capitol punishment all the way from Wisconsin! :funny: The Molucleman is on the attack! 

Wumbo: Wolverine hasn't a clue of what to do, as always! Taking each swing of that cane as they come!

Molucleman canes Wolverine clear over the barrier separating the ring from the audience. The Wolverine seethes as he tries to recover in the crowd, ultimately choosing to just leave the same way that The Molucleman came in.

Renegade: The Wolverine has decided to leave! As was expected! He's chosen to live to possibly fight Molucleman another day in a Deathmatch that will hopefully be made official by then!

Wumbo: Either that or make another shitty joke regarding his fake pictures. Either way, it's not something to look forward to, I'm sure. This is like watching OMJ's ADHD Hour. What the fuck was the point of that unnecessary, borderline spammy segment? I apologize to the folks at home that have to see this, but just be lucky that you weren't here live for it. My god.

The Molucleman binges on some more SpongeBob as the crowd pops for it.

Wumbo: Don't encourage this, please. In fact, I feel inclined to make and pin a topic discouraging these kinds of abhorrent and unnecessary segments right after this goes off the air.

After binging about five episodes in a row, The Molucleman finally decides to get his ass out of the arena. He heads up the ramp, where he is met by

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Renegade: Oh my god only knows, it's "The Greatest Server That Ever Joined"! The Great Server is back in The Deathmatch Arena! And he looks none too amused by what he sees going on around him!

Wumbo: He looks like he's already got one ball out the door, but we all know, myself especially, that it takes balls, PLURAL, to really walk out on either of these SpongeBob fan sites!

Renegade: Just what kind of stupid idea does he think he has in mind for tonight, Wumbo? He's already pulled out the most generic, tackiest thing in the book by polling us on our favorite Nicktoon of all time. I can't even begin to imagine just how low he's willing to go to scrape at the bottom of that barrel he calls a brain.

Wumbo: I don't even have to add anything to that. All of that coming from his mouth is just about the greatest insult that ever left anybody's mouth.

The Great Server hatefully brushes past Molucleman, who is far too into this SpongeBob marathon to even notice The Great Server making his way out. Server enters the ring with a microphone in hand and goes right to addressing the situation at hand.

The Great Server: You have to excuse me, I know this is not my scheduled time to be out here, but it seems to me lately that people just choose to thrive in this self-imposed chaos, so I figure that now should be my time. You see, I've got a problem!

Crowd: YOU'VE GOT PROBLEMS! *clap clap clap clap clap* YOU'VE GOT PROBLEMS! *clap clap clap clap clap* YOU'VE GOT PROBLEMS! *clap clap clap clap clap* YOU'VE GOT PROBLEMS! *clap clap clap clap clap* YOU'VE GOT PROBLEMS! *clap clap clap clap clap* 

The Great Server: Now, I know you're thinking that my problem is that after another idiotic post by an equally idiotic user, there is just no spick or speck of SpongeBob on SBM left to satisfy me. And this is true! But right now, my problem has a name. And his name is President Squidward! You see, Prez, I know, just like all of these people, that you're kind of a prick. Some people could say the same about me. And we also know that you don't have to go make ass of yourself in the shoutbox or status updates to drive that point home for us! You must be so embarrassed to know that it only took me a few seconds to type out a long-winded post that makes you look like more of an ass than you could have ever done so yourself!

None of the crowd likes that post.

The Great Server: So what did you do? You decided to take that embarrassment, that frustration and that anger out on anybody you saw fit! And one of those people just so happened to me, but let me introduced you to just who I really am, in case you forgot! I'm The Great Server! I'm the SpongeBob fandom! I'm The Greatest SpongeBob Fan to Ever Join! I'm the only Loud House fan on this site! And when you try to copy what I say and turn it into some cringe meme, well then now we've got a problem!

The crowd pops at this building drama.

The Great Server: You see, when I log onto this forum, I'm not the most active or most popular member, but do you know what I do have? I've got a set of balls every bit as big both your like and post counts! I'm about to be done with this site once more. but you see, I can't live with myself if I let people like you walk all over me! I say what's on MY mind and I speak the TRUTH and I stand up for myself and my fandom! That sounds a little bit like another guy we just saw out here, The Wolverine. Now, I don't always consider myself an X-Men fan and I will always prefer the upcoming Loud House movie over Logan, but I respect a man like The Wolverine, who stands up for both himself and his fandom. What we just saw out here before I came out proves my point that this does not feel like a SpongeBob site anymore! It's as if you're being punished for being a fan of the show that these sites are built on and I cannot and will not stand for it any longer! 

The Great Server takes out a stone iPad tablet and pulls up a note with some commandments he has written down himself.

The Great Server: So, I decided to make this post as one last send-off before I let the community decide whether if I stay or leave for good. You know me, I want to help this site, but, I don't know if I can help this site anymore.

The Great Server looks down at his feet in disappointment, almost crying even, as the crowd patboo him out of the building.

The Great Server: So, I hope you guys take this post seriously, because I can guarantee you that this site will go downhill at some point if if none of you take this seriously.

The crowd smashes that Meh button like there's no tomorrow.

The Great Server: So, by my calculations there are 4 possibilities; one that's just great, one that starts off bad but then gets good, one that starts off good but then gets bad, and one that leaves a sad ending to SBMania!

GREAT

The Great Server: So, the best possibility I can see, is that you guys take my advice seriously, and begin to spruce up the site. People take others opinions better, less unfunny memes and fads that may drive people away, and SBM becomes great again with me ultimately deciding to stay. Win-win all around!

BAD

The Great Server: So, another possibility is that you guys decide you don't wanna take my advice seriously, and continue attacking each other and continue to follow cringy memes. I think this will drive more and more people away, SBC will probably overtake SBM as the most popular SpongeBob site, and the site ultimately collapses with me ultimately deciding to leave. Lose-lose all around!

GOOD AND BAD

The Great Server: Take my two other possibilities and combine them together, either you guys don't take my advice seriously at first, or you guys take my advice, the site goes back to normal for a little while, but then reverts to the same stuff.

Wumbo: Yes, well, way to lose all seriousness with that confusing ass one.

Renegade: Mods, do your fucking jobs and do this dumbass a favor and by helping him take his fragile, little baby steps out of here. This is just embarrassing to the entire community.

The Great Server: So, I'll just let this post's reception tell me whether or not if should I stay or should I go.

Wumbo: It's almost like The Clash song has taken on a life of its own in the form of a sad, strange, little man.

The Great Server just stands in the center of the ring, taking in all the reactions that the crowd can throw at him.

???: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH, GREAT SERVUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHH! DON'T YOU DARE BE SOUR! CRRRRAP ON SBM'S NEWEST DUMP AND FEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLL THE POWUUUUUUUUUHHHHH!

BMC: It's a New Dump, yes it is!!

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President Squidward, Big Meaty Claws and KarateSponge come out to make their debut appearance on Community Deathmatch as a unit. Collectively known as The New Dump, the trio make their way down to the ring, crapping on SBM's new trash section as they do so.

Renegade: Their gimmick may be a bit dated, but there are absolutely no words that could describe the impact that The New Dump has made on SBM! I mean, it's not like it lasted long enough :funny:

Wumbo: The New Dump steps into the Deathmatch ring for the first time as a team and they are just galavanting around, people don't know whether or not they should cheer or boo. One minute they can be genuinely entertaining, the next they can genuinely annoying! Whichever way the wind blows on SBM, I guess!

Prez: The New Dump-

The crowd almost immediately craps on them. Prez, Big Meaty and Karate can each only nod in approval.

BMC: Your boys!

Prez: Your soon-to-be 

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Prez: Community! Deathmatch! Tag! Team! CHAAAMPIOOOONS! are here. So, you are being this ridiculous over one post I made when I was half asleep at 12 in the morning lol

KarateSponge: That's pretty late.

BMC: Yeah, Great Server shouldn't have even been up.

Prez: So, here we have the greetest fan of the lamest show to ever join

BMC: And he's not talking about the LAMO House!

Prez: making a complete ass out of himself, and that's saying a lot coming from me

KarateSponge: True! True!

Prez: Trying to overstep his boundaries, going way out of his jurisdiction to dictate us over how we should act!

BMC: Over how we should post!

KarateSponge: And over how we should run this site!

Prez: Just who do you think you are?

KarateSponge: WHO?

BMC: WHO?

KarateSponge: WHO?

Prez: WHO?

BMC: WHO?

Prez: WHO?

KarateSponge: WHO?

The Great Server: I'm the difference maker around here, that's who!

BMC: Well then, what difference would it make if you were to stay?

Prez, BMC & Karate: NAH-THING!

BMC: And, what difference would it make if you were to, say, stay?

Prez, BMC & Karate: NAH-THING!

Karate: GOT EM! :Laugh:

Prez: You know, never in all my five years on SBM did I dare think that there'd be anything that would ever have The New Dump beat in terms of succing, and like all new "things" here on SBM, we are more than ready to beat it like an old horse, so without any further ado...

The New Dump proceeds to crap on Server now.

Prez: SER-VER SUCCS!

Prez & BMC: SER-VER SUCCS!

Prez, BMC & Karate: SER-VER SUCCS!

The crowd joins in, repeating the sentiment in a bunch of status updates.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Sponge...dude!"

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Wumbo: As if things couldn't get anymore anal here, folks! Here comes the current head of SpongeBuddy Mania, Spongedude!

Renegade: I could really go for some anal with any one of the guys out here in the ring right now, Wumbo. And that's all I'll have to say about this subject.

WhoBob: Not funny.

Wumbo: Prez certainly hasn't made his public distaste for Spongedude a secret these last few months, so to see these two together in a Deathmatch ring is nothing short of electric! The atmosphere here in the Deathmatch Arena has visibly changed! Prez! Spongedude! Anything can happen!

Spongedude paces himself on his way to the ring, looking about as smug as his posts. Prez has Big Meat and Karate hold his hippie weave as the head honcho finally enters the ring and the crowd goes mild. Spongedude straight up just takes Prez's mic out of his hand and proceeds to use it as his own.

Spongedude: So, what seems to be the problem here, once again?

The Great Server: You wanna know what the problem is? The problem here is that "members" like them are dragging your community down! They've injected the environment with copious amounts of vitriol and cringe!  It kills me to see them killing this site with the way you've turned a blind eye to their downright criminal activity!

Prez: You wanna know what's really criminal? You shamelessly liking the LAMO House.

Karate: GOT EM! :Laugh:

The Great Server: How about you get your head out of Prez's ass first because that's like the second time you supposedly got this whatever it was. It's fucking obvious that you're  reaching at this point.

Prez and Big Meat both have to hold Karate back.

Spongedude: That's enough out of all of you! If it isn't already obvious enough, I, for one, am glad that I'm not any of you right now.

Wumbo: Hard to argue there.

Spongedude: Otherwise, I'd just be out here looking real stupid trying to measure dicks in the same ring as the biggest dick of them all, me!

The crowd: YOU CAN'T ADMIN!

Spongedude: I disagree.

The crowd: YOU CAN'T ADMIN!

Spongedude: I'm very good.

The crowd: YOU CAN'T ADMIN!

Spongedude: I disagree.

The crowd: YOU CAN'T ADMIN!

Spongedude: I'm very good. That just proves my point exactly. Now Prez, I want for you and your groupies here to apologize to The Great Server and bury the hatchet like how I buried you all just now. So, if you'd please, for once in your pathetic online life, be the bigger man, so's that I can finally go back to implementing some real change on SBM without anyone's consent. That'd be a real plus, thank you.

Prez can't bring himself to strike back at Spongedude just yet, but he won't bring himself to concede to The Great Server neither. Before Prez can make up his mind, somebody else decides to throw their hat into this conflict.

"BLAZE IT UUUUUUUUUPPPPP!!!"

Wumbo: Great! From another pompous ass to another.

Aya makes her first entrance into the Deathmatch Arena as its SpongeBob Universal Champion. She is joined by Cha, who is pleasing her with some fan art so that The Man doesn't have to go through the pain of having to look over the sea of pro-SBCers that are in attendance. With the Universal Title draped over one shoulder and her SBM Global Mod badge draped over the other, she scales the steel steps that lead into the ring, but Cha stops her so that she could hold the ropes for her and to give her universal champion an easier time getting into the ring.

Renegade: Why don't we have a relationship like that, Wumbo?

Wumbo: Because I don't fucking like you nearly as much as Aya likes Cha's posts.

Renegade: Speaking of which, congrats on breaking Cha's stranglehold over the week. (At the time of this writing)

Wumbo: Well, uh, thanks. I actually appreciate that.

Renegade: Do you appreciate it enough to agree to a three-way with my and my girlfriend, @TrixieTheUsherette? I have absolutely no opinion on closed relationships, so she and I both mutually decided together that we should keep an open relationship. So, you know, I can do things :funny:

Wumbo & WhoBob: Not funny.

Cha has a specially made, self-drawn portrait of Aya brought out to commemorate this huge event in Community Deathmatch's history. Aya flashes her title in The Great Server's face, then The New Dump's, and finally Spongedude's before having a mic handed to her by Cha.

Aya: Take it easy, big dong. You're attributing yourself with what is arguably the weakest spot on aman's body. Just one well-placed kick, and you'll be on the ground laying, my friend.

The New Day: OOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Karate: GOT EM!

BMC: You've just friend zoned, motherfucker!

Spongedude: That's an awful lot of talk coming from someone who attributes herself as being "the man". Like you said so yourself, just one well-placed kick and YOU will be on the ground laying, my guy.

Aya: I thought you were a bit more attentive than that, 'dude. I said that's the weakest spot on a man, whereas I am The Man. I think I've shown plenty proof of why that is the case during my way down here.

Spongedude: Yes, you're now the "SpongeBob Universal Champion". Even I must admit, that's quite the achievement for SBM to have under its belt.

Aya: Thank you, I'm glad we can at least agree on that. But for right now, if you are all done taking up my valuable screen time, I think I've been plenty generous enough for today. So, I'll be taking my segment back. With all due respect.

Spongedude: I agree, I think these four have made big enough asses of themselves as it is. What's the harm in seeing a fifth? Let us leave the great Aya to her one man fan club.

Aya: On second thought, I think what I have planned for right now actually falls in line with what each of you want! So please, by all means, stick around! You can all be my honored guests and bear witness to the true dawning of a new era for SBM. Please, I insist.

The Server, New Dump and Spongedude all relent, each of them deciding to stick around for the festivities.

Aya: You know, I was so caught up in the heat of the moment when I first won this thing that I didn't even take the time to properly thank those who truly helped pave the way for my being here, in this spot, right now. I stand here, in front of God and my mother in heaven tonight, as I said time and time again that I would become a Community Deathmatch champion! In the tradition of terminoob! In the tradition of Clapmaster, of the brothers Spongedude and spongey34, of that70sguy, of the innovator tvguy, of Crushingmayhem, the man who just will not die! As the real saiyan prince, ssj, upstairs tonight! From the Aquatic Nuggets, to the Jjs', to the DadMoms, to the... *gulps* OMJs. I accept this Universal Title- wait a second. Of Grubby Grouper, of the Classic Nickelodeon Fan himself, Stone Cold! Of...

Aya looks over at Cha, giving her a wink as they trade thanks.

Aya: my fellow mod, Trophy, who despite me betting against him tonight, I know he worked just as hard as I did to get where we're at today! 

Aya is beginning to look as if she's about to actually bust out a crying emote, a first for her.

Aya: This is it tonight, mom!

Aya unbuckles the belt from around her waist and holds it up in front of her. She looks down at it with a warm, heavy heart.

Aya: God, that's beautiful, aya really. And Fred Rechid. And they can all

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Aya: KISS MY ASS!

Wumbo: What in the hell is she doing?!

The Great Server is disgusted by this blatant disrespect to SpongeBob and the fans of who do still love him in this community, The New Dump are just ironically liking it, while Spongedude can only do his best to somehow be more smug than Aya is about this whole situation.

Aya: Because I am not The Man who accepts a torch to be handed down to me from a website that died, R.I.P., five years ago! The Great Aya is The Man who ignites the new flame of the show that will keep this community in continuation!

Cha hands over a completely new and hand-drawn title belt to Aya, who proceeds to hold it up proudly.

Aya: Tonight, before God and my ambiguous mother as witness, I declare...myself, "The Architect", as the NEW TBC Champion of the Communities!

Aya pulls Cha in the frame.

Aya: WE have set out change the face of the SpongeBob fandom! So tonight, let the new year begin. The year of renewed activity, the year of The Architect, the year of To Be Continued!

Aya drops the mic and leaves the ring with her new TBC title and Cha in tow, making sure to step all over the discarded SpongeBob Universal Title on her way out.

Wumbo: Just when I thought this bitch couldn't be anymore unpleasant, she goes right on ahead and takes a steaming pile of shit on this community's livelihood, its heart and soul. This show is home to some of the most lowbrow, disrespectful content in spinoff/lit history, but all of that just pales in comparison to what we just witnessed here tonight. I'm sitting next to the purveyor of a good handful of that content, that is saying something!

Renegade: Say and think what you will, but what Aya did took a lot of balls, and you all know just how much that shit can turn me on! Aya, you and me, we can do things! TrixieTheUsherette wouldn't mind. Let me slide into your PMs. That's all I've gotta say.

Wumbo: Well, coming up next, it is our main event of the evening, folks! Trophy "The Trash Man" Stealer will fight "The Modern Day Maharawat" SpongeOddFan to the death, the winner of which shall go on to compete in the Five-Way Dance to crown the first ever Community Deathmatch Most Active Member!

Renegade: Who will walk out of the Deathmatch Arena one step closer to a date with destiny? I'm already feeling jilted! Stay tuned to find out-

The scene suddenly switches to the backstage area, where the body of The Molucleman is seen strewn out on the floor, lying in a pool of his own blood. Community Manager and Deathmatch medic, Mr Dr Professor Patrick, arrives on the scene, distraught. He tries to resuscitate Molucleman's account by posting a new topic and/or blog about him, but his efforts are in vain. hilaryfan80 can only wait until the next time The Molucleman decides to log back on, whenever that may be.

hilaryfan80: Oh my god, who did this?! This is against the rules, it's against Deathmatch's code of honor! I need to find who did this. And trust me, when I do, the topic I'll make regarding it will be legendary-

???: Don't waste your time.

hilaryfan80 turns around to see The Wolverine looming over him.

The Wolverine: He had it coming.

Wolverine limps off, still damaged and hurt from the walloping that Molucleman gave him earlier. hilaryfan80 gets up to give chase.

hilaryfan80: You stop right there. I order you, as your manager, to stop this instant!

Wolverine limps his way through a nearby door and closes behind him. When hilaryfan80 charges through, he is met by jjs and Hayden, whose shared presence causes the doctor professor to back up.

Jjs: You know, this is exactly the kind of shit that wouldn't happen under my watch.

Hayden: Just how many more members are you willing to hurt before realizing that?

Jjs: Just leave him to what he's got left, Hayden.

Hayden: However many that may be.

Jjs and Hayden both smash hilaryfan80 with that Meh as they continue on their merry way. The camera pans out to show OMJ watching from around the corner of a nearby hallway, smirking before dialing back down said hallway. The scene fades to black.

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The Sad Part

 

Wumbo: Welcome back to Community Deathmatch, folks. Before we move on with tonight's proceedings, I'm afraid we have some "somber" news to report to you. As we just saw before the commercial break, The Molucleman was viciously assaulted backstage. We have just received word from hilaryfan80 in a new topic that The Molucleman had succumbed to the injuries he had sustained. The attack took place outside of an officially sanctioned Deathmatch ring, so right there, that is a red flag. I've been scripted to say that we here at Community Deathmatch don't condone such violent, vicious behavior outside of the ring. If you have any problems or issues, please stick to PMs or just settle it in the ring. It's really that simple, guys. Do I really need to make a pinned thread stressing that?

Renegade: The Molucleman had just made his official Deathmatch debut earlier this evening, immediately rubbing The Wolverine the wrong way while putting his love for SpongeBob out on full display and it appeared as though everybody in attendance took a liking to that. That kind of brand loyalty is something you don't see around the SpongeBob Community too often. You know that he was just one of "those" new members who are only good for a brief, cheap pop. Sure, he may have been a shit member to some, but I think that the most important thing here is that he was OUR shit member. And that's about as far as my opinion on him will go.

Wumbo: Shut up, Ren. Anywho, switching gears here, up next is our main event of the evening, which shall see-

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Wumbo: Oh my god, it's Clappy. The Ding of Dings, fresh off a much deserved and well earned Honorary Staff Member title victory both on Deathmatch and irl, is back from his busy schedule to grace us with his presence! He's already got a mic in hand, so lets just see what the Ding has to say to his people first.

Clappy: Did you all really think that your ding was through with Community Deathmatch? Think again!

The crowd erupts in likes, and a few sads since they seem like more of a thing now.

Clappy: I mean, is this really what Community Deathmatch has come to? Has it really fallen to the point where SOF and Trophy, of all people, are seen as main event players around here? Oh, how the mighty have fallen. SBM even went as far as to throw Trophy a mod badge, that's how bad the state of these sites are. Community Deathmatch is in need of some real star power, some real Best Member nominees, and you are looking at the best of them all! The last episode I was in was called "The Clappy Appreciation Thread", and well, I think we all saw just how hard I buried OMJ's attempts at burying me. Nobody, not even he, can play "The Games"! So as your Ding of Dings, I hereby decree that tonight, this episode shall now be known as the real Clappy Appreciation Thread! And to further show your appreciation to me, I will even compete for you all right here, right now in the true main event of the evening! So Clem, get your illiterate ass back in here. And if anybody back there wants a taste of a real main event, best member-caliber match up, then feel free to be my guest because I've got a hole in the ground reserved just for you!

Clappy drops the mic and his Honorary Staff Member title. He stands in the middle of the ring, awaiting his next challenger. A few minutes goes by without a response.

Clappy: Is THIS the level of competition we have going today?! You are all burying yourselves more than I ever could the longer that this goes on-

The camera cuts to a locker room backstage.

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Grim Reaper: You're on, mon.

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JCM marches his way to the ring while The Grim Reaper plays unfitting music.

Wumbo: I-It's him!

Renegade: Ladies and gentlemen, an ordinary black man who can do extraordinary black things is making his way to the ring as we speak to answer the call of The Ding! :funny:

JCM makes it out to the entrance ramp to a chorus of sads before proceeding to flood the shoutbox with the sheer power of his shouts.

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Clappy looks on, laughing in the ring at level of competition he's about to contend with as JCM enters the ring. They circle each other around the ring.

Crowd: JCM! JCM! JCM! JCM! JCM!

Renegade: Come on, guys. Let's get a token chant going! "TOOOOOKEN! TOOOOOKEN! TOOOOOOO-

Wumbo: SHUT YOUR STUPID FACE UP, REN! I can't believe what we are about to see, folks. Clappy and JCM in the same ring at the same time! Never did I think Community Deathmatch would ever get to this point. I thought we'd stall a bit more with shit that nobody reads this to see like The Molucleman or Angry Koopa.

Clem: Any last reques-

JCM quickly goes on the offensive, spearing Clappy down with authority.

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Wumbo: JCM putting his football fanaticism to the test here against "The Games"! Clappy is down in just the first few seconds of this match up!

Renegade: Clappy looks to be overselling it a bit tho, he could just be pretending that hurt in yet another way to bury his opponent. We've never seen Clappy look this vulnerable in a Deathmatch ring thus far in his SBC career, this could very well just be him playing mind games and trying to get into JCM's head.

Clappy writhes around on the mat a bit more before quickly  working his way back up to his feet, but JCM has already been sizing him up for another colossal spear.

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Wumbo: JCM with another-

Renegade: black

Wumbo: -lightning fast spear to the ding! Clappy has been swept off his feet once again at the hands of somebody who he's helped made famous once before with his SBCinema series! 

Renegade: I can't buy this, Wumbo! I just can't! Clappy must be toying around with his food or something. It is just inconceivable that somebody like JCM can give somebody like Clappy this much of a walloping! Could you imagine just how big of a black eye this could be on Clappy's SBC career if he really isn't playing around with JCM here tonight!?

JCM wastes no time and effort in picking Clappy right back up before hoisting The Ding of Dings into the air with great strength, keeping him, and Ren, suspended in disbelief before squashing Clappy back down to the mat with a thunderous JaCkhaMmer.

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Renegade: The Blackhammer somehow, some way connects to The Ding!

Wumbo: Shut up, Ren!

Clem tries to get a read on Clappy's status before calling for the bell.

Renegade: WHAT?!

Clem raises JCM's hand in victory.

Clem: WINNER, JCM!

JCM pulls his arm away from Clem before quickly marching back out the way he came.

Wumbo: As Todd is my witness, JCM has just snapped Clappy's near five year undefeated streak smack-dab in half!

Renegade: I am still trying to process this through my head, Wumbo. What we just saw here is equivalent to Black Panther absolutely slaughtering the box office in just it's opening weekend!

Wumbo: Just shut up, Ren! Toddammit man! You just don't fucking get it, do you?! SHUT UP! We were a promised a cameo by JCM for tonight, an what a fucking cameo that was. In and out in short order with no dialogue against The Ding of Dings, The Clapmaster! JCM has played "The Games" and he came out with that W for Win. Clappy has, perhaps inadvertently this time, made JCM famous once again right here in the Deathmatch Arena.

Crowd: KOOPA! KOOPA! KOOPA! KOOPA!

Angry Koopa makes his out now, staring intently at Wumbo and then rudely brushing past JCM, who doesn't even acknowledge him.

Renegade: Oh, and just what the hell could this piece of shit want now? Do your job, staff.

Wumbo: It seems he's taken some issue with my comments regarding him earlier. Sorry not sorry.

Koopa steps into the ring and immediately kicks Clappy's dead account out of there in disrespect. He then angrily shouts for a microphone, to which he is handed one.

Angry Koopa: I couldn't help but notice someone 

Crowd: @Someone ! @Someone ! @Someone ! @Someone !

Angry Koopa: Trust me, if her lousy ass were still around, I'd destroy her and her little works of art too! Now as I was saying before being so rudely fucking interrupted, I couldn't help but notice someone out here trying to sully my name. Wumbo, you might as well set that W to an L for Loss, because I would just destroy you all the same, much like your brother-in-billboards out right here outside this ring! It looks real tough to be spitting game from behind a commentary table, but let's see you try bring those critiques out here in this ring and we'll see who the better reviewer is!

Renegade: A Pieguy knockoff vs a Todd in the Shadows knockoff? Ratings gold just waiting to happen right next to the ReneKai wedding, which has been made all the more possible now that she's joined SBC. Just saying :funny:

Wumbo: I don't fucks with SBM rejects, man. Talk about the lowest of the lowest bottom feeders.

Angry Koopa: Just as I presumed, and I don't blame you, Wumbo. Not really. Because I'm sure you know by now that when people step into the ring with me, it's not just their life that ends. No sir. All their content dies along with them too. And seeing as how you're still clinging to that blog of yours for dear life, I can understand the measure of caution you're choosing to take here. Nobody wants to see their legacy disappear just like that. But the thing is, I am The Content Destroyer! I don't give a shit who you are, if you've got content, I'm pretty much guaranteed to destroy that bitch! So, if you're not willing to come down here and be my next victim, I'm just gonna have to go up there and claim you.

Koopa throws away his mic, but before he can leave the ring he's interrupted by

The entire community populace gets up on their feet in a loud mixed reaction of yays and sads. 

Renegade: Bah god only knows almighty!

Wumbo: Could it possibly be?!

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Wumbo: Just look at that guy go, giving that violin t h e  p l u c c !

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Karen: Ladies and gentlemen, we have been blessed by the ssj gods with the return of The Memer Known As Shinyaaaaaaaaa Succaaaaamuuuuuuuuuuraaaaaaaaa!

Wumbo: The King of Gangnam Style is BACK in the Deathmatch Arena! And the entire SpongeBob universe, myself especially, cannot get enough of him!

Everyone in attendance proceeds to echo everything that @shin says and does.

Renegade: Earlier, Clappy brought up how there was an apparent lack of star power on the Community Deathmatch roster. Well, Community Deathmatch sees his complaint and raises him a rock star! Shinya Succamura looking as if he has not skipped a beat since last logging into the community one year ago.

Wumbo: One year too fucking long, mind you! And it's been even longer since he last stepped inside the Deathmatch Arena. Almost five years, I think it was, since he teamed with she-shin and Kevin to take on Supergameman, Sbnator and Murica! Now, it looks like he has his vast array memes sighted solely on Angry Koopa! And boy, wouldn't everyone just LOVE to be Angry Koopa right now!

Before Shinya could make his way further down the entrance ramp, he is suddenly blindsided with a stiff roundhouse kick to the back of the head. He crashes down face first on the ramp, the force of the blow causing him to go rolling down it some.

Wumbo: What the fucking hell?! Who would be so bold, so dastardly, so undeliciously evil as to attack Shin during his grand re-entrance?! The entrance that any wrestling fan here has been waiting for for two years! Who, I ask you?! Who?! So that I can fucking kill them myself!

OMJ: You all know it's that time of the year agayn! Time for all of us to jump on Shin's dick!

OMJ kicks Shin over and pounces on him, going to town on The Memer with a series of hard right hands. The crowd rains sad reactions down on OMJ, who doesn't let up on his assault.

OMJ: You are all completely pathetic!

He then grabs Shins legs and opens them up to plant some stiff knees and boots onto Shin's succ region.

Renegade: Oh my Johnston! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJZOe65eA4Y :funny:

OMJ: Succ on that, you stupid fucks!

Wumbo: What the fuck did Shinya do to deserve this?! These two have always been more or less cool with each other! They're both two of the funniest motherfuckers this side of the SpongeBob fandom! This is a heinous, deadly assault taking place outside of a sanctioned Deathmatch here! And not only that, he's employing hard, stiff blows below Shin's belt! He is throwing his own tradition out the window right now! Why OMJ, WHY?!

Rengade: I think you answered your own question there, Wumbo. They are two of the funniest members in this community and on Community Deathmatch, there can only be one.

Wumbo: SHUT UP, REN!

OMJ: tenor.gif

OMJ sizes Shin up, egging him to log back in.

OMJ: giphy.gif come on, I ain't waiting all fucking year!

OMJ picks Shin up onto his shoulders, setting The King of Gangnam Style up for the Go To Sleep.

Wumbo: No, no! Anything but this!! We just got him back!!!

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Renegade: OMJ just put Shin to sleep!

Wumbo: YOU SON OF A BITCH! IF YOU WANTED TO DO THAT, YOU SHOULD'VE JUST LET HIM READ A GODDAMN DEATHMATCH EPISODE, YOU FUCK!

OMJ kneels down next to Shin before staring right into the camera.

OMJ: This is everything that you wanted. And there will be so much more.

OMJ gets up and leaves looking like a man possessed. He is, however, met on the  top of the entrance ramp by hilaryfan80, who simply can not believe what he just witnessed. He verbally reprimands OMJ and gives him some warning points for his actions. OMJ throws the warning points back into hilaryfan80's face before heading to the back. hilaryfan80 leaves him be and goes to check on Shin. hilaryfan80 goes to work giving Shin the succ. Shin manages to respond to hilaryfan80's resuscitative efforts with a 

Shin: :succ:

hilaryfan80 raises Shin back up to his feet and proceeds to help him to the back, much to everybody's relief. However, Angry Koopa comes charging in and grabs Shin from behind, locking him into the Spirited Away.

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Shin tries fighting out of it, but he's still too beat up from OMJ's attack to fight Koopa off. hilaryfan80 attempts to pry Koopa off of Shin, but it isn't until Wumbo personally intervenes that Koopa decides to let go. Koopa and Wumbo go toe to toe, trading blows with each other. Koopa looks to be winning the exchange until hilaryfan80 intervenes on Wumbo's behalf and they take turns hammering away on Koopa before simultaneously drop kicking him over the guard rail and into the crowd. Koopa decides to scurry off in order to fight another day, putting some distance between himself and hilaryfan80 and Wumbo. While all of this is going, OMJ makes his way back out and picks Shin up again by the throat.

OMJ: I told you, you cheap fucking pop. There will be so much more.

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Wumbo tackles OMJ down and beats on him until hilaryfan80 separates them. A captcha team finally come out to escort an unapologetic OMJ away while Wumbo and hilaryfan80 salvage Shinya from the stage. The entire community comes together for another huge sad reaction for Shin as he's pulled out from the wreckage.

Renegade: I have no opinion on this whatsoever as Community Deathmatch rolls on LIVE!

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The following you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is not entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein... Anyway, it's just hate mongering!


Community Deathmatch opens back up with one of the cameramen following OMJ backstage as he's taken away by captcha.

???: Leave him to me, boys.

The Open Window Maniac walks into view, twirling his nightstick around.

OWM: A security risk like this needs the best man on the job.

OMJ: The best man? :Laugh: Last I checked, I was the guy next to the groom. 

OWM: Last I checked, nobody really bothers to look at your profile.

OMJ: Where the hell was this level of security when jjs was out there killing Homie, huh?

OWM: That was just Homie :okay: What jjs did, he did it with the community in mind. What you did, you selfish, little, petty prick. What you did, that warrants the death penalty, if you ask me.

OWM rams his nightstick into OMJ's abdomen. The blow brings OMJ to his knees and he begins bleeding from the mouth. 

OWM: That, and I just don't like you. Not anymore. Jjs wasn't lying about that.

OMJ: Oh trust me, I already knew. You still follow this show even after all these years and you've given me nothing to show for it for almost as long. Real fucking heartbreaking.

OMJ spits up some blood in OWM's face.

OWM: I can only hope you're capable of taking away a valuable lesson from this.

OMJ: I can only hope that you're capable of taking jjs' nuts out of your mouth.

OWM proceeds to beat the old man down with his nightstick as the scene switches to Jjs and Hayden entering the private chat of "The Modern Day Maharawat" SpongeOddFan.

SOF: What the Christ do you two think you're doing just walking into the presence of your Maharawat as if you weren't already a couple of peasants?!

Hayden: Just take it easy, Kan, we aren't here to exchange any hostilities.

Jjs: We are here to extend a hand of friendship :)

SOF: Friendship? How dare you use that word. You don't even know its meaning. I've got a more general idea of it and I probably can't even spell it right!

Jjs: Yeah, well, who would you always go to make sure that you did spell it right?

SOF: I am beyond help, especially coming from the likes of you.

Hayden: Then how about the likes of me?

SOF: Please, I trust you about as far as I can throw you.

Hayden: Let's be honest with ourselves here, that's pretty far.

SOF: That is true. Just what is it that you want?

Hayden: You see, my best friend, jjs, and I think we may have come up with a bit of a solution to our Most Active Member problem.

SOF: Our Most Active Member problem?

Hayden: Come on, Kan, even you have to know just how big of a threat Zaid is heading into this Most Active Member title match. We've all seen what that stupid idiot is capable of in between those ropes. Crushing, he's manageable, for a good guy that refuses to die, he sure did do just that in his match against Aya! Of all fucking people, mind you, Aya!

Jjs: Look, to get things straight to the point, we already have an "business relationship" going on with The OBAB Show, gave him a few perks that comes with being acquainted with powerful, honest men such as us. But what we have going on with him, well, that's just business. My best friend, Hayden, and I would like to offer you something far better, something much more lucrative and befitting of our Modern Day Maharrrrawat!

SOF: I do like the sound of that. The way you rolled those r's just now, not everybody does that.

Jjs: See, Hayden and I are not just "everybody". My best friend, Hayden, and I would like to be your, stay with me now, Best Friends!

Hayden throws some celebratory streamers over SOF as jjs tries to edit SOF so that he would celebrate along with them, but SOF cuts him off.

SOF: I am well aware of what you have done for me in the past, jjs, but make no mistake, it was only I who got myself to where I'm at [/b]now![/b] of course, I wouldn't have been able to have done it without the undying support of the 1.3 billion people of India, who you continuously FAIL to open this community up to! Sad! That is 1.3 billion potential members that you have failed time and time again to translate towards this site's success! I do not need any so-called "friends", especially not from the likes of you people! All I need right now is MY people!

Jjs: Well SOF, I'm afraid that 1.3 billion other, well, you's don't quite measure up to what Hayden and I are capable of doing alongside you.

Hayden: Hold on, time out. "You people"? What do you mean you people, Kan?

Jjs: Leave it alone, Hayden.

Hayden: With all due respect, jjs, I just think that this pretentious, little pissant seems to have forgotten the "people" who made him what he is today! I'd rather drink in the gift of a thousand gallons of Katpiss than ever having to tolerate 1.3 billion SOF's around here cluelessly butting into matters that are way out of their league and miraculously going through their days somehow remembering how to breathe oxygen!

SOF: You people mock me, you loathe my very existence whenever I come around and you don't even try to hide it, you subject me to your distasteful sense of humor, you dare relegate your Maharawat to being the butt of your jokes! But worst of all, you two have the fucking nerve to enter MY private chat and insult MY people to MY face!

Hayden: You sure are throwing around a whole lot of "my's" there, Kan, yet how ironic is it that almost everything in your SBC career can be attributed to your ass being carried by others. And I'm not just talking about me or Jjs. You couldn't even so much as beat Mermaid Magic, of all the stupid idiots NOT around here, on your own. You needed to have your two bitches around to pick up the slack for you. Sad! Just look at me out there earlier tonight, I beat Chad Francis all on my own. Sure, it may not seem like that big of an accomplishment, but it's more of an accomplishment than anything you have to your name! You couldn't even beat me in our first Deathmatch without four other members winning the damn match for you!

SOF: This is a whole lot of talk, talk, talk coming from you, Hayden, yet who was the one reaching out to whom for an alliance just now?

Hayden: :glare:

Jjs: Hayden, if SOF here sincerely thinks he's above our help, then lets just leave him to his delusions. He doesn't need us, and we definitely don't need him. He'll just continue being what he always has been and what he always will be, a complete and utter non-factor.

Jjs and Hayden leave the PC, but Hayden briefly chimes back in for one more thing.

Hayden: Sad!

Hayden exits the PC again as the scene fades back to the Deathmatch Arena, where Wumbo has reassumed his post on commentary.

Wumbo: Welcome back, folks. I'm just, still in utter disbelief at what transpired here just before the break. For those of you just tuning in or just too lazy to read back for yourself, the SpongeBob Community's much beloved, Shinya Succamura, made his return to Community Deathmatch in order to confront "The Content Destroyer" Angry Koopa. Things just completely spiraled out of control from there. Old Man Jenkins, the founding father of Cmmunity Deathmatch, came out and launched an absolutely malicious tirade against Shin from completely out nowhere. No one could've seen it coming, it was just that out of left field. A swerve for the sake of a fucking swerve, if I've ever seen one. hilaryfan80 and I managed to pull Shin out of our now heavily-damaged stage here. He's been rushed over to the nearby Industrial Park, where we can only hope and pray that he's still with us even after all of that.

Renegade: Yeah, nothing could possibly justify OMJ's actions here this evening. As you rightly put it earlier yourself, Wumbo, he just threw his own rule book out the window and went into business for himself. This is about as far as I'm willing to go about this subject.

Wumbo: Even this motherfucker was appalled by it. THAT'S SAYING SOME SHIT RIGHT THERE.

"WE ARE THE NATION...OF NERDYKAIRI!!!"

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Kairi makes his first ever appearance on Community Deathmatch, looking quite baffled and genuinely perplexed as to why she's the only person in her club.

"We are the nation, alive and in discord.
Don't diss Kairi cuz she'll bum rush the whole board
Listen what she's sayin.
She's for real, not playin.
Kairi's the nerd, hit your knees and start acceptin!
NATION OF NERDYKAIRI!!"

Wumbo: Who even is this right now? Do we have confirmation? D-Do we have confirmation? I really wanna say this is DiabolicalGenius.

Renegade: I'll tell you exactly who she is, Wumbo, that right there is somebody who I would like to bang!

Wumbo: Whoever this DiabolicalGenius thinks she is, she sure is marching down to the ring with authority. And by that, I mean, stomping all the way down like some child having a tantrum.

Renegade: Even hotter! :funny:

WhoBob: Not funny.

Kairi: Stop laughting at me!

Kairi enters the ring and has a mic handed to her. She lashes out at the stagehand for doing that.

Kairi: Stop bulling me! That's bulling!

She proceeds to break the stagehand's hand, costing the poor bastard the one job he had to do

Kairi: Why you're so mean to me?!

The crowd doesn't react whatsoever.

Kairi: Stop. Laughing. At. Me. You're being a bullys to me!

Renegade: Stop laughing at her, guys. I know I'm not one to pick sides, let alone protect a precious snowflake, but just look at her and tell me with a straight fucking face that she wouldn't make a precious Mrs. the Unicorn!

Wumbo: You settling down is an oxymoron.

Kairi: Having the Sora x Kairi Hater. Is mocking! Having my icon, even though I wanted people to use it, is laughing! This is bulling! If you don't stop laughing at my person. And my love for fictional characters, and stop posting everything I say! I'll kill you! You hear me?! I'll kill you!

The crowd won't even spare her a sad reaction.

Kairi: Ugh! What do you people want from me?!

Wumbo: They seem to not be reacting to counteract your overreacting.

Kairi: Well accept my apologies. It's all I ask. And if you don't. I'll kill you! That's all I ask.

Crowd: ...

Kairi: You people are being so difficult to handle, I said I'm sorry! It's not enough for you?! Die! Just die and accept my apology!

Crowd: ...

Kairi: Hawkins is taking everything I say as a joke. I bet you all have been quoting me. Oh, I know! I haven't seen it! And Karate has a mocking title! Trust me, I'll kill him too but not before he stops being a difficult and accepts my apology!

Crowd: ...

Kairi: Oh, need I go on? Kaiju thinks my insults sucked! He should be the one apologizing to me! You all should, but you're all being difficult and bullies! Like Spongetron, who doesn't like when I talk about my precious favorite character!

Renegade: That's just a little hypocritical on tron's part, that's all I have to say.

Wumbo: For once, we can agree on something else.

Kairi: Ben tried to pass as me on another server. And Hawkins, Hawkins is posting everything I say on websites and refuses to listen to me, in other words you hate me around here! How would you think Sora feel if he saw what you were saying about him?! And about me?!

Wumbo: Alright look here, More Spandy, I don't know who the hell you think you are, so that should be all that matters.

Kairi: There's no other place for me to go, I have to be on that server, I've just got to! Why does everyone have to be so cold at me? Have I not been warm?! Have I not already been accepting?! If I can't get you to accept my apologies, then it looks like I'm just gonna have to make you! Sora would want me to kill you all for what you did, so what Sora wants, Sora gets. The Nation of NerdyKairi is starting a revolution and if you can't already tell, it WILL be televised!

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Kairi: WE ARE THE NATION OF NERDYKAIRI!

NerdyKairi proceeds to leave the ring to absolutely no reaction.

Wumbo: I don't know what to say, folks, but it appears as though ACS has just waged war on us again. I just can't wait for this storyline to be swept under the rug!

Renegade: I don't think I wanna settle down anymore...

Wumbo: Surprise of the night right there.

Suddenly, a the real surprise of the night pops up on the Community Deathmatch big screen to surprisingly massive likes from the crowd.

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HawkbitAlpha: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: rofl: Something the matter, nerd? Came here expecting to wage war on a madman, but instead waged war on a chat mod?! :rofl: I see you, I know who you are. You say that YOU are gonna kill ME? Not if I kill YOU first! We are not just on the march to war, Kairi, we are on the MARCH TO MADNESS! You bring your club, if you even have one, and I'll bring mine, which I have in abundance! It's called having friends, Kairi, I figured Kingdom Hearts would've already taught you about that. Because it will be YOU against ME, and I will

Hawkbit acts like he's sweeping something into a dustpan and then throwing its contents into the trash.

Hawkbit: CLEAN UP YOUR ACT! Hit my profile music! I'm not even here live right now, but still, I want you all to listen to this shit!

 

HawkbitAlpha: GOOD FIGHT!

Hawkbit takes out a handgun, loaded with ammo to use against Kairi, and kisses his profile music before pointing the gun at the camera.

HawkbitAlpha: And GOODNIGHT!

Hawkbit shoots the camera, causing the big screen to black out as HawkbitAlpha's profile music plays. Kairi flinches, thinking the bullet would actually fly out of the screen and hit her. Everybody in attendance starts to :Laugh: at her, much to her annoyance.

Kairi: You all gonna die! You all gonna die!

She shouts before heading to the back, looking so much worse than she did before she came out here.

Wumbo: I can't believe it! Did we just witness ACS wage war on himself?! What the hell is going on around here?! This is just madness!

Renegade: This is Sparta! :funny:

Wumbo: Haha, yes, 300. Dated meme. Very original. If you can't already tell, we are on the March to Madness, folks! You can't kick off the month of March much better than, well, that. Wait a second, I CAN think of a better way.

Renegade: And how's that, Wumbo?

Wumbo: Why, with a good ol' fashioned Deathmatch, of course!

Renegade: Oh yeah.

Wumbo: Transitions be damned! It's finally gonna happen, folks! SpongeOddFan vs Trophy, winner goes on to compete for The Most Active User title!

The scene switches to somewhere backstage, where Trophy appears to be making his way towards the entrance tunnel with a filled up trash bag slung behind his back in one hand, and a closed trash can in the other. The camera continues to follow as he continues to make his way.

Trophy: SOF, our SBC careers have somewhat mirrored each other. We've both been treated like comedy relief on multiple occasions, we've competed together across the community. And if you go back to our debuts on Community Deathmatch, to see how far we've both come now as serious contenders to a major Deathmatch championship, I think it's fair to say that no two members define the words "character development" quite like myself and The Modern Day Maharawat. Whereas SOF's path to success has been filled of likes and acceptance, a villain's road to the gold has been somewhat different. Now SOF, I know you've gone through your fair share of trials and tribulations yourself, but if you honestly think you had to go though hell to even be in consideration for Most Active, then wait until you get a load of me!

Trophy angrily drops what he's carrying and pulls some trash out of the bag, which he proceeds to devour.

Trophy: Whereas Jjs and Hayden would do anything to hurt you, I am the member who CAN DO EVERYTHING! Need the proof? Look at your calendar and see where Ooooooofy Day falls on this year! You can't because it's long gone! What you need to understand, SOF, is that my motivation isn't to be liked. My motivation isn't even to be meh'd by any of you. I've already got my hands on the global mod badge that really matters in this fandom, in spite of you! My only motivation is to become the Community Deathmatch Most Active Member. LOOK INTO MY EYES, SOF!

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Trophy: LOOK INTO MY EYES, LITTLE MAN! Do you see ANY weakness? Do you see ANY remorse?! Take a long, deep look into these eyes.

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Trophy: Because these are the same eyes that you're gonna be looking into when you're begging for mercy. These are the same eyes that are gonna be staring back at you when you are SCREAMING in agony and pain! And when you're SCREAMING, when you're CRYING! When you are at your most vulnerable, your most clueless as to what to do! THAT shall be my moment of glory. :tommy: because that will be the moment that you have to give up the one thing that means more to you than anything else. The one thing that I long for! The one thing that a villain truly deserves. A villain will be one step closer to being your Most...Active...Member...

Trophy finally reaches the entrance tunnel.

Trophy: The Trash Man Cometh.

Trophy makes his way out onto the entranceway to, ironically, some likes thanks to the cheap Danny Devito pop. He throws all sorts gobbage into the crowd, even eating some of it and then spitting it into some of the guest's faces as he makes his way down to the ring.

Wumbo: Trophy "The Trash Man" Stealer, saying some rather unnecessarily unnerving things before making his way out here. Unfortunately, it wasn't quite spammy enough for me to shut down right then and there.

Renegade: There is absolutely no denying all that Trophy has accomplished since his humble beginnings. Even working his all the way up to global mod on SBM, a position that has long eluded him here on SBC.

Wumbo: Isn't he the same guy who ran Fa off by teasing his love for Wendy Corduroy?

Trophy leaves his trash at ringside before entering the ring, gnawing on a rotten apple in the corner, waiting for his opponent to make his entrance.

Karen: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Hindi voice behind SpongeBob, accompanied by Omair and Harish, Shanoor Mirza!

Renegade: Oh wow, it appears that the whole Indian angle has finally paid off.

Wumbo: Official members of the SpongeBob crew have a notorious track record here on SBC. Hopefully Shanoor Mirza here breaks the cruse tonight.

Shanoor Mirza: deviyo aur sajjanon, krpaya aadhunik divas mahaaraashtreeyra, spanj od phain ka svaagat karen!

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Mirza joins Omair and Harish in kissing SOF's feet, but he SOF calls them back up to tell them all something important.

SOF: I don't want any of you out here for this match. This is is something your Maharawat has to do on his own.

Harish: What?!

Omair: I've been slacking off on my studies to see you through this, SOF!

SOF: And you still will.

Harish: This is outrageous, my Maharawat, you can't possibly be thinking about taking this volatile peasant on your own! He's dangerous, he's dirty-

SOF: I have to, I want to!

Harish: I do not like this, not one bit! Our Maharawat is committing suicide!

SOF: That is exactly why I need this!  I need this to prove to myself, to prove to all these people, to even prove to the 1.3 billion people of India that I can go the distance on my own! That all my activity, all my growth up to this point hasn't just amounted to nothing!

Omair: I'll abide by your wishes if you promise me just one thing, my Maharawat.

SOF: What is it?

Omair: Please, don't let that dastard get away for what he did to Fa.

SOF: I'll see what I can do. Just keep Mr. Mirza safe.

Omair & Harish: Yes, my Maharawat!

Omair and Harish usher Shanoor Mirza to the back as SOF continues down to the ring on his own.

Wumbo: SOF, for the first time in his online life, has made the conscious decision to do something on his own. This could either be a good thing or a bad thing for his opponent! We've seen just what SOF is capable of on his own, "SOF's Exciting Critic Corner" and "And Then There Were Less 3" being two very glaring examples! He could possibly use that to his advantage and overtake Trophy by surprise, but by doing that, he is also opening himself up to some potentially sharp jabs and criticism!

Renegade: He originally came into deathmatch looking like the clear cut winner thanks to the company he keeps, but taking that out of the equation, this is looking more and more like an all or nothing battle for The Modern Day Maharawat!

Clem: Alright you two, I want a good, clean fight! Cannibalizing is, I guess, okay but don't do it if y'all don't have to! Any last requests?

Trophy motions for a mic to handed to him, to which he is handed one from a new stage hand that we had just hired.

Trophy: This is it, SOF. The first day of the rest of your afterlife, all of which can easily be avoided if you just use your brain for once and leave. So just consider this your last chance to go home.

Trophy offers SOF the mic to answer his offer of surrender, but SOF just whacks it out of Trophy's hand.

Trophy: I knew I shouldn't've just assumed you had a brain to begin with.

Wumbo: SOF! TROPHY! Who will remain active?! 

Clem: Well then LET'S GET IT ON!

Trophy and SOF immediately come to blows with Trophy winning the exchange, drowning SOF out with a flurry of shouts. He pounds SOF into a corner, beating him to the point that SOF's legs already give away and he slumps down against the corner turnbuckle. Trophy goes to town, punching him in the face and head repeatedly, refusing to let up until finally taking a moment to gloat.

Trophy: BOW TO THE FIST! HEHEHEHEH! TRASH MAN!

Trophy backs himself into the opposite corner, lines SOF up and charges for a Cannonball.

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Trophy hits the opposite corner again to nail SOF with a second Cannonball. He gets back up for a third, but SOF manages to roll his crushed body out of the way, causing Trophy to hit nothing but the hard turnbuckles and to land right on top of his head. Trophy is still quick to get back up to his feet, but he finds himself getting up into the receiving end of a belly to back suplex courtesy of SOF.

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Both members are down, impact of the move taking just as much out of SOF as it did for Trophy.

Wumbo: Already, these two former comedy routines are putting it all out there for the chance to be crowned SBC's most active! 

Renegade: A testament to what the honor, or dishonor to some, means to both of these members!

SOF is the first fighter up and pulls Trophy in for a double underhook suplex and connects with it.

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SOF rolls over, still holding onto Trophy, and attempts to connect with it a second time, but Trophy manages to reverse it into a modified gringo killer of sorts, but with SOF instead facing Trophy's backside.

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SOF lands awkwardly on his head and Trophy gives him no time to breathe by immediately placing the Maharawat into a grounded headlock. He wrenches away, tightening his hold around SOF's neck in order to rip his head clean off.

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Wumbo: It appears that Trophy has himself a gameplan! A rather surprising gameplan as Trophy has proven himself capable of killing his opponents through the sheer force of his powerbombs, which target mainly the body if executed correctly. Targeting an opponent's head and neck area has proven fruitful in many Deathmatches past!

Renegade: As a practitioner of such a style, I can personally concur. It's a strategy that works!

Wumbo: Trophy must want to secure this victory early in order to save himself from taking anymore punishment than he already has, especially heading into the Most Active Member title match in which one of these members will take on five others who are just as hungry and bloodthirsty for the gold!

Trophy picks SOF up and whips him into the ropes. SOF bounces back as Trophy hoists him up for a pop-up powerbomb, but SOF manages to leapfrog over Trophy's head locks the Trash Man in the cobra clutch.

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SOF tries his hardest to fully hit Trophy with The Cruse, but Trophy's squirming and constant fighting of the hold forces SOF to take alternative measures, bringing The Trash Man down with a cobra clutch Russian leg sweep.

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SOF gets back up and stomps Trophy, who manages to catch one of those stomps with his hands and trips SOF over. They scurry back up to their feet and once there, the lock up with each other and struggle for control. Trophy  eventually gains the upper hand in the struggle and slowly backs up SOF up into the corner, but SOF manages to whip him back around and puts Trophy up against the corner instead.

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He then bashes Trophy's head into the turnbuckle for good measure.

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Wumbo: SOF proving himself to be just as capable on his own so far, even managing to out wrestle Trophy for dominance!

Renegade: He's now got Trophy in the corner, or should I say, SOF's Exciting Critic Corner!

Wumbo: This is what we all feared SOF would try to do! This is a move we haven't seen pull off in almost 7 years! That last time he did it, the results were disastrous! It had left a stigma on SOF's SBC career for years to come! 

Renegade: The man is clinically proven to not be a critic in any way, shape or form, but perhaps now, all these years later, he will finally prove his critics wrong!

SOF places Trophy in a tree of woe position, tying the Trash Man's legs around the top turnbuckle to make sure he remains in this position. 

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The scene abruptly cuts to jjs and Hayden beating on Omair and Harish backstage, thrashing them all around the private chat area. They turn their attention over to Shanoor Mirza, who they proceed to mercilessly double powerbomb through a nearby turntable. The scene switches back to SOF as he ascends to the top turnbuckle and looks down at his vulnerable opponent suspended below him. Trophy looks up and the two bitter rivals lock eyes with each other.

Wumbo: This is it! Can SOF put the final nail in the coffin!?

SOF leaps off the top turnbuckle and goes for The Final Thoughts.

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But right before he could make contact, Trophy manages to pull himself back. SOF just barely misses him and lands right on his feet, but the force and the weight of his missed final thoughts prove too much for his legs to handle, breaking both of them on impact.

Wumbo: SOF misses his mark and the point once again! History was doomed to repeat itself here tonight!

Renegade: But you can not fault the man for trying his damnedest! For trying to be the best competitor he can be by righting the wrongs in his past!

Wumbo: Despite everything that may have gone down between us here on Deathmatch this past year, this is still heartbreaking for me to watch. And even after all that punishment he opened himself to, he's still trying to find the strength to get back up and to get himself back in this thing!

SOF screams in agony and pain as he struggles to get back up on his feet, but try as he might, he just can't. Trophy, still upside down, sees this and a smirk curls over his face. He quickly unties his legs and frees himself from the tree of woe. He wastes no time in flooding SOF with an onslaught of vicious shouts and fists, breaking SOF into submission. Trophy even takes his time repeatedly wrenching and snapping away at SOF's broken legs before finally placing them in a figure four leg lock.

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Wumbo: Oh dear Todd!

Renegade: SOF's pain levels must've just gone up to 11! Because he likes going one step beyond.

Wumbo: Haha. Nostalgia Critic- SHUT YOUR FUCKING FACE, RENEGADE!!!

SOF desperately tries to reverse the maneuver by turning over onto his stomach, but Trophy won't make that easy for him, making sure that SOF can't move all his weight. SOF tries to pry himself free with his bare hands, but it only proves more futile. Trophy laughs at his attempts before punching away at his legs, which were still trapped in his figure four. He then takes a few bites out of SOF's prone, broken legs. He chews on the leg meat before spitting it back out in SOF's pain-stricken face.

Trophy: I EAT GOBBAGE!

Wumbo: Alright, this just goes far beyond unnecessary and spammy! If he continues to persist with that disgusting display, I'll put an end to this goddamn match my own damn self!

Suddenly, jjs and Hayden run in and they proceed to mob Trophy, forcing him to break his hold over SOF and to cough up some of the pieces of SOF that he did ingested. They wail away on Trophy before Hayden throws him violently to the outside, where he picks the Trash Man back up and throws him back-first into steel steps that lead into the ring.

Wumbo: Oh thank Todd, never have I been more glad to see these two show up!

Jjs walks over to SOF and offers him a helping hand for old time's sake. After a moment of hesitation, SOF refuses the offer, spitting right into jjs' hand in defiance. Hayden comes around the ring and grabs SOF from behind by the head, clawing into the Modern Day Maharawat's face as he aggressively pulls him out of the ring, as well. 

Renegade: SOF, choosing to spit back into the hand that fed him for all these years! Outright refusing to accept anymore of his help!

Wumbo: I see it less as SOF refusing Jjs's offer of help and more so him being well aware, as did I,  of what jjs and Hayden were up to coming out here and sticking their noses into a Deathmatch that they have absolutely no business in! They came here to make sure that neither of these members make it to the six way dance!

Jjs motions for Hayden to pick up SOF and power bomb onto the ring apron. Hayden goes to do exactly that, with some assistance from Jjs, who helps to hoist SOF onto Hayden's shoulders, but suddenly

Jjs: That fucking bitch...

Wumbo: No way! SBC's resident stuck-up bitch is back in the Deathmatch Arena?!

Hayden drops SOF to the side as he and his best friend eagerly await Homie's arrival. She still has not made her way out, even after a good a minute had passed.

Jjs: Finish what we started.

Jjs orders Hayden, who immediately obliges.

Hayden: With pleasure.

Hayden heads up the ramp to meet up with Homie, who still hasn't shown herself. He cautiously reaches the entrance tunnel and peaks into it before slowly making his way in. Hayden makes his way into the backstage area, turning the place inside out in his search for Homie.

Hayden: Where are you, you damn ho?! You do realize you're only delaying the inevitable?

???: Reach for the skyyyy, boy!

hilaryfan80 suddenly lunges at Hayden and they begin to trade verbal and physical blows. Hayden desperately throws some shade at hilaryfan80, who shrugs it off and clocks Hayden in the face with a discord server he just picked up. With Hayden disoriented, hilaryfan80 grabs a nearby turntable, stands it up and topples it right on top of Hayden. With the turntable crashed right on top of a fallen Hayden, hilaryfan80 steps all over the fallen table, adding more weight onto Hayden. Hayden can be heard muffling more shade from beneath the turntable as hilaryfan80 kneels over him triumphantly.

hilaryfan80: Xat fucking sucks. Get with the damn times, bitch.

Meanwhile, Jjs throws SOF back into the ring and leans him up against the turnbuckle for a Helluva Kick. However, once he sees what's been unfolding between hilaryfan80 and Hayden backstage on the Deathmatch big screen, he puts a stop to those plans.

Jjs: MOTHRAFUCKER! Where the hell is Captcha at?!

Jjs looks to be going to his best friend's aid when the sound of some loud footsteps can be heard coming right from behind him. A feeling of dread overcomes jjs as he slowly turns back to see

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Jjs: Mothrafucker.

Wumbo: The face to face confrontation we have all been waiting for! 

Renegade: Jjs looks like he's just seen a ghost!

Wumbo: Remember, jjs didn't manage to kill Homie the last time he had her where he wanted. But now, Homie has jjs right where she wants him. There is a whole lot of hell to pay and Homie has come to collect!

Jjs and Homie continue to stare each other down until Jjs decides to make the first move.

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Homie: :ok2:

Jjs, thinking he lulled Homie into a false sense of security, goes in to nail her with a Helluva kick, but Homie ducks it and really lays into jjs with a nasty spin heel kick.

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She proceeds to kick the shit out of jjs, kicking him clear out of the ring. Jjs lands on the arena floor awkwardly and, choosing to fight another day,mdecides to flee through the crowd. Homie jumps out and gives chase, running jjs all the way off out of the arena. Jjs runs all the way out to the parking lot, where a limo pulls up to pick him up.

SBL: Get in, quick!

Jjs dives in through the window.

SBL: Move the fuck on!

SBL yells to his driver right as Homie manages to catch up. She manages to land a few kicks on the limo before it speeds off into the night.

Homie: :Lollipop:

Back in the arena, SOF manages to recuperate just enough to reach over through the ropes and pull Trophy back into the ring. Trophy is bleeding profusely from the head from having his head drilled into the steel steps earlier by Hayden. SOF fights his way onto his feet, fighting through the pain to lift Hayden up into The Cruse of SOF.

Wumbo: This is it! The Cruse of SOF! SOF could retain his spot right here!

SOF suddenly feels one of his legs crumble down beneath him. He's forced to let Hayden go as he's brought down to one knee. SOF turns around to see a bloodstained Old Man Jenkins standing over him with a smirk on his face.

Wumbo: You have got to be fucking kidding me?!

Renegade: It's OMJ! But last we saw him, he was being escorted out of the arena by captcha!

Wumbo: Well, I guess that explains what the hell happened to them!

OMJ grabs hold of SOF and hits him with the Old School Expulsion.

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Renegade: What the hell has gotten into ole Jenks?! He has even less business being out here than jjs and Hayden did!

Wumbo: He's had his way with this community enough for one night! I'm going in there!

Before Wumbo can even get up from his seat, he finds himself suddenly attacked from behind by American Idiot, who beats Wumbo repeatedly with a pizza cutter. 

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American Idiot glared over at Ren.

Renegade: Hey man, I don't have an opinion on any of this! You do you!

American Idiot goes back to work on Wumbo.

Renegade: then after the show, maybe I can do you :funny:

OMJ approaches Trophy, dragging SOF along by his hair. He tosses SOF over to Trophy, who glances back at the old man in confused. He plays along anyway and sets SOF up for his patented Package Piledriver.

Trophy: TROPHY DELIVERY!

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SOF's head caves in on impact, killing him instantly. Clem doesn't even have to come in to check.

Clem: WINNER, TRO-

OMJ chases Clem off, taking the opportunity to raise Trophy's hand in victory, himself. This gives Trophy a Like in the process.

Trophy: TRASH MAAAAN! HEHEHEHEH!

Renegade: Bah gawd! Trophy has done it! He's killed SOF for the right to compete for the Community Deathmatch Most Active Member title in his place-

American Idiot: The rules are about to change! Sell it! Drive that point home like your fucking online lives depend on it!

Renegade: Whether you love it or hate it, folks...it's gonna happen. The entire script has been flipped and I'm afraid that not only Community Deathmatch, but the entire SpongeBob  Community landscape is about to change drastically because of it. This is Renegade the Unicorn saying goodnight...goodbye-

The episode goes to static.

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What an excellent, back and forth Deathmatch.  Trophy cutting one of the best promos in DM history as well.  Gotta give props to my fellow SBM mod, y'all know.

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Clearly the lesson is that SOF should've tried to get my help against Hayden and Jjs while hilaryfan80's the distraction, silly Mahawarat

also is it just for me or are most of the images broken o.o 

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52 minutes ago, PEPSI✭MAN said:

Clearly the lesson is that SOF should've tried to get my help against Hayden and Jjs while hilaryfan80's the distraction, silly Mahawarat

also is it just for me or are most of the images broken o.o 

Must be something on your end. =\ They all show up fine for me.

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