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The following you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is not entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein... Anyway, just reward me!

 

Kill For Sport

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???: I realized a long time ago that the best way for me to truly provide a living for myself on the Community wasn't by playing little games or asking questions or giving answers or making lists, it was by competing, fighting tooth and nail with the "best" of em for everything I've ever received and earned.

Cuts to shots of him fighting against faceless bots, the Deathmatch equivalent to jobbers.

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Trophy: People see Deathmatch as just another lit, but to me, I see it as a sport. The closest possible thing to competition I've ever felt in this Community, and you better know that I've certainly won my lion's share of competitions. You may as well just reward me any and all titles you have right now before I go ahead and steal them all.

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Trophy: Don't let the color of my name fool you. Do know that I have more than earned the right to be SBC's only emerald colored name. But it means more than just that to me, the color tells me that I'm green. Not green in the sense that I'm just some noob who has no business being here. I'm green in the sense of envy. I look at everybody else; Clappy, Aya, Cha, Sauce, Fa, Omair, ACS, Blaze, Halibut, Jelly, Crushing, Renegade, even some nobody like fucking Steel, who have had more justice done onto them here on Community Deathmatch, whereas myself? I hardly call being a foot stool to the likes of Dr Sex, Big D and PatBack to be any sort of justice done onto me. And now here we are again, rewarding me with a much better experience as I've so rightfully earned.

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Trophy: When I first joined, I knew people were betting against me and I know that they still are. Nobody ever counted on to me to last as long as I have with my reputation, but I can't help it, it's what I am. It's what I've been bred to be from the first moment that I signed up. I prove people wrong and I excel them. I'm a survivor. I'm a fighter. 

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Trophy: Consider this...your last chance to go home.

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Trophy: Because the last thing anybody wants to be, is the last exploding guy that bows to the fist of SBC's strong fool.

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1 hour ago, Old Man Jenkins said:

The following you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is not entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein... Anyway, just reward me!

 

Kill For Sport

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???: I realized a long time ago that the best way for me to truly provide a living for myself on the Community wasn't by playing little games or asking questions or giving answers or making lists, it was by competing, fighting tooth and nail with the "best" of em for everything I've ever received and earned.

Cuts to shots of him fighting against faceless bots, the Deathmatch equivalent to jobbers.

1am7ae.gif
image.jpg

Trophy: People see Deathmatch as just another lit, but to me, I see it as a sport. The closest possible thing to competition I've ever felt in this Community, and you better know that I've certainly won my lion's share of competitions. You may as well just reward me any and all titles you have right now before I go ahead and steal them all.

1am7s8.gif
image.jpg

Trophy: Don't let the color of my name fool you. Do know that I have more than earned the right to be SBC's only emerald colored name. But it means more than just that to me, the color tells me that I'm green. Not green in the sense that I'm just some noob who has no business being here. I'm green in the sense of envy. I look at everybody else; Clappy, Aya, Cha, Sauce, Fa, Omair, ACS, Blaze, Halibut, Jelly, Crushing, Renegade, even some nobody like fucking Steel, who have had more justice done onto them here on Community Deathmatch, whereas myself? I hardly call being a foot stool to the likes of Dr Sex, Big D and PatBack to be any sort of justice done onto me. And now here we are again, rewarding me with a much better experience as I've so rightfully earned.

1am808.gif
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Trophy: When I first joined, I knew people were betting against me and I know that they still are. Nobody ever counted on to me to last as long as I have with my reputation, but I can't help it, it's what I am. It's what I've been bred to be from the first moment that I signed up. I prove people wrong and I excel them. I'm a survivor. I'm a fighter. 

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Trophy: Consider this...your last chance to go home.

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Trophy: Because the last thing anybody wants to be, is the last exploding guy that bows to the fist of SBC's strong fool.

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FIGHT TROPHY FIGHT

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The following you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is not entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein... Anyway, life's just a box!

 

Path of Self Destruction

We open up to a user keeping post inside of a cardboard box somewhere inside the Community. He pops his head out, revealing himself to be @box! before leaving the relative safety of his box with a dirty rag over his masked face to possibly hide the shame.

Box: Oh, sorry to keep you waiting. I was just in there imagining myself in a community that's run by people who actually have a general idea of what they're supposed to be doing. The last time anybody ever saw me anywhere on Deathmatch, I was practically being crucified then stuffed into a pine box for something that, in the end, you were all wrong about. Do you remember it? Well you're about to. 

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Box: It was the moment you all jumped on the ghetto ass Nuggets train and rode his black pecker all the way to Shitsville, the place that this Community has been in for years now. How's it feel now, to see your golden boy, your gold nugget, your token walk away from you, yet another cog in the machine, all of which conveniently boxed into one group, a group you stupidly see as retirees. You wanna know what I see? I see them for what they truly are; quitters! They haven't done jack worth shit around here and I honestly hope I ain't the only one that see that. These are quitters that you put into power, that you put in charge of the welfare of our once great community. And it's because of you stupid asses who put these quitters in charge who have sucked this community for all it was worth to them before throwing it to the wayside! And I ain't talkin bout the school, but hell, this community doesn't seem much different from how that place conducts itself. Now I may just be some little idiot, a "lidiot", to the whole lot of you. But it sure says a lot about you when it only takes a little idiot to see that this place is no longer the temple of veneration it once was, it's become a goddamn gangsta crap sideshow. You are all the freaks putting yourselves out on disgusting display for the entire world wide web to see with your ringmasters calling all the shots because they may not be able to work their way around an admin panel, but they can sure as Davy Jones work you all up like the mindless abortions you are. Let me ask you something, did anybody ever answer that phone? Huh? Because I fucking called it, you sons of bitches! Just like how I called it dead to rights 4 years ago that Nuggets was ill prepared for his job and you all gave me crap for it! For being the only member here to use a little logic in his reasonings. And that was only 4 years ago. Now, 4 years later, this place has lost even more of its brain cell and it still looks as if I'm the only logical box troll still up in this bitch. I take a look at the powers that be now, and I see absolutely no reason to feel safe in my own sharing time anymore. And all the same, I see absolutely no reason to feel threatened by a cabinet of weaksauces anymore!

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Box: A wise retard once said, yes I said it so allow me to reiterate once more in violation of rule that no longer exists, a wise retard once said that life was like a box of chocolates, you know, you just never know what you're gonna get. Well to me, if its full of chocolates, then the only thing you're gonna get is a box of fucking chocolates. And chocolate is sweet, which gives the implication that life is sweet, and life can never be so sweet all the goddamn time! You all live out your days here as if it were and it makes me sick to my stomach. Life ain't a box of chocolate, it ain't even a bucket of wood shavings. Life is just a box! You do not know what could be in it, therefore you truly do not know what you're going to get. It could be chocolates, it could be a tie, it could the old man cap you buy for grandpa because you don't know em well enough to get the man what he really wants. Life for you is just me, and I don't have no chocolates to spare so its gonna be anything BUT sweet. You cashiers, you managers have had it too easy for too long! You must be living in your own "SpongeBob Universe" to be blind to what I see going on right in front of your Neptune forsaken faces. So allow me to pry your opens, give me permission to knock your doors down. You may see an entire SpongeBob Universe full of nothing but "activity", I see nothing but victims. My victims. I think each of you can't moderate your way out of a cardboard box, so how's about you actually do a little testing for yourselves by helping me "test" that theory". I implore you, I challenge you, do whatever is in your limited power to stop me. You can give me all the tired, petty holier than thou bullshit you want. I only need my actions speak for me. So silence me if you can, moderate if I let you!

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The following you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is not entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein... Anyway, BINYA BINYA!

 

A Once in a While Member

 

Shylah SquarePants: Once in a while, comes a member so unique, he defies expectation. Once in a lifetime, comes a member so extraordinary that not even a review from Clappy can do him justice.

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Shylah SquarePants: Ever since May 30, 2016, SBC has been home to such a member. A kid so insane, that he doesn't even pay OMJ for his services and guests flock from all over the world wide web just to watch his life story unfold.

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Shylah SquarePants: A yellow-bellied polliwog so extreme, his actions have been classified as "terrorism".

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Shylah SquarePants: A member so terrorizing, that his tactics have been banned from seeing the light of day on SBC soil.

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Shylah SquarePants: He is the Suicidal, Homicidal, Genocidal, EXPECTATION DEFYING member known the world over as...

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???: BINYA! BINYA!

Shylah SquarePants: BenPaz!

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The following you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is not entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein... Anyway, leave the light on.

 

Community in Pain

We open up inside a dark, dank (in the traditional sense) basement of some sort. A figure sits in the darkness with nothing but a computer monitor, sounding as if crying to himself.

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???: The most beautiful woman...in the world! Every night, mommy used to let me stay up til at least 9 o'clock...to be on SpongeBob forums! But little did she know, I wasn't staying up til 9 o'clock pm...I was staying up til 9 o'clock AM ON SPONGEBOB FORUMS! The anger that boiled in her the moment she found out. She did unto me the worst possible thing imaginable, she took my escape away. And then, for a brief, fleeting moment of clarity, the anger that had boiled in her was nothing compared to the wrath that was unleashed from inside me! Why was I having such a bad day?! Was it because I had finally reached the 70th contribution milestone when she found out? I just don't know! All that I do know...is that @The SpongeBob Community is in pain. I thought she did, but she never understood! NOBODY COULD EVER UNDERSTAND LIKE I DO! Nobody except, maybe, you...

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???: The gang's all here *sobs* You understand that The SpongeBob Community is suffering. YOU UNDERSTAND THAT THE SPONGEBOB COMMUNITY IS IN AGONY! Well the time has come to relieve that pain, which will be better for me, BUT NOT SO ENJOYABLE FOR ALL OF YOU! She broke my heart, so I broke something of hers! But, at the very most, I still have my escape

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???: Leave the light on, I'M COMING HOME!

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The following you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is not entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein... Anyway, don't read me.

 

H O N K If You're a Real American

We open up to somewhere in urban Cullman, Alabama.

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Todd Phillips: my fellow americans, i would like to introduce to you a close,personal friend of mine. he's a native and a great,REAL american,uncle tedekiah phillips!

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Ted Phillips: My fellow Americans, I've got a question for ya. What is wrong with America?! Ted Phillips knows what's wrong, Todd Phillips knows what's wrong, but I think most Americans have forgotten just what is wrong with America! Years ago, me and my nephew's daddy were hunkering down in a jungle in the Persian Gulf with bullets flying from all directions, and do you know why we were there? It was because we were real Americans! We are patriots! It was the early 90s, it was a great war to take part in! And now, 25 years later, I look around and I see a country that I can't even recognize anymore. We live in a time and place where the Confederate flag has been wholly condemned and gay marriage has been wholly recognized as a completely normal part of society! I see people with mind sets not like mine and I come across people that I don't even know what they're, they can't even form a sentence, words consisting of more than just four letters isn't in their vocabulary, they can't even talk to me! And I look around and wonder, just where do these people come from? But most importantly I think, how do we get rid of em? Because it occurred to me that these people actually bleed the same blood that I bleed, that they're "real Americans".  But whereas their blood only run black or damn near every color of rainbow, me and my nephew's run RED, WHITE AND BLUE! We, the people! Americans, REAL Americans, know the truth. Ted Phillips knows the truth. Todd Phillips knows the truth. 

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Todd Phillips: i know the truth! and it hurts right in the childhood,in the nostalgia!

Ted Phillips: Because this is the land of the free and the home of the brave. Not the land of the free and the home of EVERY CUCK WHO WEREN'T AROUND TO TRULY LIVE LIFE DURING AMERICA'S GRACE PERIOD, THE 90S AND MID 2000S! This a Real American, its our country and its our land to protect and defend because we are real patriots, we are Real Americans! And remember; We, The People!

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Todd Phillips: we,the people!

 

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The following you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is not entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein... Anyway, IT'S NOT A SPAM!

 

Well, It's The OBAB Show: Part One

We open up to a shot of SBM, where ssj is seen attending to the latest spam wave afflicting the forum at the hands of Ol' Bold and Brash.

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Ssj: OBAB, you and I both know just how far your spamming has gone on lately and quite frankly, you've finally gotten me at least halfway annoyed by it. I can't say that happens very often, so give yourself a lil pat on the back for that one.

OBAB: ;)

Ssj: But unfortunately for you, not everybody  here has patience as ironclad as you and I, so I'm afraid this will actually have to force my hand, and I'm pretty sure it's common knowledge by now just what I do with said hand at night, so rest assured that its been kept in tip top form since the last time it was forced into any situation :)

OBAB: Look, ssj, I know what you're gonna say and-

Ssj: And I know what you're going to say too-

Ssj & OBAB: It was not a spam ;)

Ssj: And that's where the road forks for you, my friend. :) how many times have I told you?

Ssj & OBAB: "No employee wants to be a Squidward!"

OBAB: I got it! I'm not a Squidward ;)

Ssj: You may not be a Squidward, but you've chosen to name yourself after a crap painting of his, so in your special case, I'd say you're actually kinda worse. But there's room to improve, OBAB, there's always room to improve. And judging by the lack of brain coral occupancy in that cranium of yours, I'd say you've got plenty of room :) You don't have to live up to your name, OBAB. You don't have to wallow in the trash to scrounge up a living for yourself here on SBM, is Old Man Bran Flakes really a nice cereal box? You've gotta be kiddin me! But there's opportunity here for everyone. :)

OBAB: And I have been taking advantage of every opportunity given to me ;)

Ssj: Every opportunity to spam, yes, but I'm talking about doing something a bit more to make yourself presentable to everyone here. Continue writing that show of yours, take criticism, improve on it. There's nowhere left for you to go but up, or down if you're so inclined. Which would be such a terrible shame to have happen on my watch.

OBAB: But, I don't understand. They were not a spam ;

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Ssj: Before you finish that wink, get your head out your tail fin and just accept the plain fact that it was spam. Quit trying to deny it. I'm trying my best not to burst your bubble here, but I'm just gonna go ahead and burst it anyway for your own good, as well as for the good of SBM. You're walking on thin ice, OBAB, far away from the dump that you've gotten so accustomed to. Some sites may not have set standards for their junkyards, but I like to keep my ship running ship shape. That's what separates SBM from the rest, you see. Why do you think SBC has chosen to hide its trash from most of its general population? You are pushing those standards well beyond city limits and that's where this parade should end. How long do you honestly think you can keep this up? Just how much more punishment and warning points do you think your account can take? What other options do you have once I've reached my limit? You can't possibly think that SBC would be clamoring to have you on board, almost all of its population is SBM's. and take it from the likes of Blaze, Storm and Yellowshdow, you won't last as long there with your reputation. And OBAB, I'm just trying to put this into perspective for you because you're family. I consider everyone to be apart of the SBM family tree, no matter who you are. Think about what you're giving up here. You're thinking about giving up all of this

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Ssj: just because you have no self control. You can't go one day, let alone one hour, one hour, without causing some sort of ruckus. And OBAB, I'm gonna have to go there, but every member's greatest fear

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Ssj: SBMers, medically, are proven not to be long lasting in life and cease to function without having SBM to fall back and land on.

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Ssj: This is about you, and this is about your future, OBAB. You're going to make the right decision and you will clean up your act starting now. 

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Ssj: And OBAB, I'm sorry, it must hurt. The truth just hurts sometimes, but the person who is hurting more than you right now, is me :)

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Ssj: I think everyone can benefit from a break from SBM every now and then, and I think now may just be one of those times for the both of us. What do you say, OBAB?

OBAB: I'll be a good noodle! I promise you, I'LL BE A GOOD NOODLE!! :(

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Ssj: Well you have to prove to me, prove to us all that this isn't just another case of you saying, but a case of you doing :) now go, dry up those tears before somebody around here drinks it up for you.

OBAB salutes ssj and marches off to go dry up them tears. Ssj goes to log off for the next day or two when the sound of a gun loading is heard behind him

Hunter: Bang bang, you are dead. And no, I'm not talking about your sister. Ssj, ssj, ssj, once again giving me more ammo to use against you. When will you and your cronies finally grow up and realize that this little "punishment" system you have going on, it isn't working? This isn't first grade, this is a threat to national security, SBM's security. And I'm doing whatever I can do to drill my best solution into those cro mag-non skulls of yours. Hell, I could no scope headshot you right now and I bet none of you would even feel a thing.

Ssj: None of this concerns you, any of you, and I do mean that literally. So I suggest that you just ignore it and go play mod on your site while I do mine.

Hunter: You're doing yours, alright. Doing them in, that's what you're doing letting scum like that loose into your community again. On my forum, I...we have a saying for that. It's called being clinically freakin brain dead.

Ssj: They must be, letting someone like you take the reigns.

Hunter: I'm sensing the beginning of a tense situation here, as always with you and your kind. Somebody charitably, out of the goodness of their heart, gives you real constructive criticism and you just spit it back in my face. Real typical. You know, you ain't much different from SBC.

Ssj: Say that again and I'll make you eat your words, again.

Hunter: Instead of words, I'll just have to feed on your tears, as I usually do whenever we get into these admittedly petty squabbles.

Ssj: Well if they're petty even to you, then what always brings you back here on my doorstep?

Hunter: Plain and simple, I'm here to give you a fair warning. Now don't take this as a threat to the SBM motherland of any kind. You're hearing this from me first. Your friends with benefits, SBC, they're about to be in for a world of ::dolphin noise:: ::dolphin noise::. Now, out of the goodness of our hearts again, we gave them fair warning as well and as always, they're taking it as childishly as can be expected of them. Their hateful fics abound with slander made against us. They claim to be the mature SpongeBob forum, but even I can admit that SBM is where the maturity is at, both in the community and on staff. I'd like to think I can trust that you won't do anything to ruffle anymore feathers at TF HQ, but after this little tense situation of ours, I'm beginning to have second thoughts. Maybe you just make you and SBM suffer as you, yourself, have made SBM suffer by having absolutely no backbone.

Ssj: I think I have just about enough backbone to deal with the likes of all of you and your empty threat #362.

Ssj says, gathering up his ki. Just as Hunter was feeling backed into a corner once again, The Grandmaster shows up to save his ass and ease tensions.

Th Grandmaster: Hunter, that is enough!

Hunter: Martin, I-

The Grandmaster: It appears as though I have to bring Joh Annus back onto SBM duty. Rest assured, ssj, I will have Joh Annus on your anus soon enough.

Hunter: My apologies, Grandmaster.

TGM: Don't be sorry, Hunter. Leave that to ssj.

Ssj: Hello Martin, here for another lesson on how to act your age? :)

TGM: You can ridicule me all you want, ssj, just watch what you say about my brothers.

Ssj: Just how many brothers can one guy have?

TGM: That's a good one, beating on the old dead horse, I see. As you usually tend to do. To help broaden your limited horizons, we are http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BloodBrothers you see. I owe my life, both on and offline to them. Likewise, they owe their lives both on and offline to me. That simple to grasp, yes? Unlike that farce of a "family tree" you got going here, we at TF 51 are the real deal. That's what separates us from you.

Ssj: And all this time, I thought it was my sanity that differentiated us.

Hunter: We log in and you all just expect a bunch of maniacs. When very little do you know that you are in the presence of not maniacs, not even men

Ssj: Tell me something I don't know.

Hunter: but :dolphin noise::ing gods!

Ssj: And that, I don't even think to be true :)

TGM: Calm down, Hunter, we're leaving.

Ssj: Thank you, don't come again! :)

Hunter: Hypocrites, each and every god::dolphin noise:: one of you. Can't even work up the balls to ban somebody as lowly as OBAB, but will reign fire and brimstone to the only sane people around here! Which by your flawed logic, should say a lot considering your opinion of us, which you previously stated!

TGM: Hunter, that is quite enough!

TGM says, pulling him away by his ear.

TGM: This is your final warning, ssj, and I hope you take it to heart when dishing out anymore of your "final warnings". Setting that threat loose onto SBM once again has all but hammered all the nails into your coffin. Take a leave of absence if you must. That is why we choose to be here, to moderate when you don't, which is almost all the time. But this time, we'll take your advice and break free from here too. The big question is, will OBAB, a known terrorist, mind you, follow suit? Or will he just take advantage of the situation, the opportunity, that has been presented to him. This is where your blind faith in him and your community will truly be tested. And when your community becomes undone in your selfish absence, we will not be there to help you clean up the mess you made.

TGM turns back to Hunter and they prepare to log off.

Ssj: Thank you, don't come again! :)

Triggered, TGM turns back around.

TGM: And final FINAL warning, ssj. Lochnivar is real. The Demon King, and no, not Piccolo, shall rise signaling for Lochnivar to drop! And you won't even know what'll hit you.

TGM and Hunter finally log off, looking like the bigger men in their eyes, as ssj does the same with a smile on his face and absolutely no selling their threat.

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The following you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is not entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein... Anyway, it's just ACS so who the fuck cares.

 

Raging = Ratings

We open up to the bush league SpongeBuddy Mania splinter forum established by ACS, the Redhawk Faction Archive.

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The Grandmaster appears to be addressing a very tense situation to himself.

TGM: Brothers, as we all may know, Joh Annus, TF-51's very own top munitions expert, was tasked to shadow over and administrate SBM in place of Hunter following a very malicious meeting that went nowhere with SBM's very own top doofus in charge, ssj4gogita4. Unfortunately, we have received intelligence that Joh Annus had a just as malicious run-in with SBCers while he was out collecting ammo in the SpongeBob Community for the coming conflict. Gentlemen, if it weren't war before...then it sure as shit is now. I tasked our very own scout, Digital Shadow, to locate Joh Annus and salvage whatever he could from his mission and what Shadow has found will very well rock Task Force 51 to its very core. The ammunition he collected, Joh Annus' video logs that he recovered, will serve to disgust yet ultimately empower us as we march closer into battle. It is with a heavy heart (har har, I'm fat, i get it to those of you vile SBC scoundrels that may be watching!) that I relay these findings to you. Take of it what you will. Grandmaster, over.

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The scene cuts to inside the Spinoff/Lits section, being recorded on a camcorder

Joh Annus: Joh Annus Log; Stardate = September 11, 2016, Mood = Impotent. I have just landed inside hostile territory, behind enemy lines, where I have been tasked to collect ammunition if in the inevitable event an armed conflict with the community of savages known as the SpongeBob Community should occur. This community of sea sponge worshipping terrorists are quite known for the vast amount of written works they have accumulated at their disposal. They venerate it, take a great amount of pride in what they're somehow able to shit out onto their general populace like a brand of agent orange.. Of course, being the band of ill advised, poorly run rogues that they are, a good handful of those written works houses some of the most hateful fan fiction known to the entire world wide web. And it is my sworn duty to scope them out and recover any and all viable ammo that can be used against them to greatly strengthen our already full proof chances for total victory in this ever increasingly tense conflict. Wish me luck, brothers. I'm about to stare into the abyss right down to its very soul, and I can already feel it staring back into mine.

The scene switches to The Marvelous Misadventures of PatBack.

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Joh Annus: Look brothers, barely even a minute into my mission and already I have struck an ammunition goldmine. How many times have we told them, brothers? We are not pussies and we are most certainly not "assholes". My name may be Joh Annus, but it's a fucking Swedish, possibly Scandinavian, family name that goes all the way back to biblical freakin time. Where do you dinguses possibly think The Red Saints got their name from? Why, one of the apostles of Jesus Christ of course, the original red saint himself and the patron saint of victims of cyber bullying everywhere, St. Annus! You threats to International Airways Virtual Airlines security are the assholes here. We're just dicks, dicks that will no doubt buttfuck all you "assholes" when you least expect it, so

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Joh Annus: FUCK YOU.

The scene switches to SBC Falls.

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Joh Annus: The Marvelous Misadventures of PatBack has led me to this next fan fiction of hateful intent, written by jjsthekid, no less. It's said be a very strange and peculiar place. I mean, how strange and peculiar can it possibly be if its yet another carbon copy piece of manufactured garbage on the SBC assembly like at Krabby O Mondays. And you idiots say that we at TF-51 don't know sponge. We should slit all your throats in your sleep for such an absurd proposition, but we won't because unlike all of you, we are the closest thing to decent human beings anyone's ever going to come across in this dark corner of the Internet, so

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Joh Annus: FUCK YOU.

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Joh Annus: Oh, this fucking joker.

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Joh Annus: FUCK YOU TOO.

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Joh Annus: My brothers, I hope your rage will be as fury driven as mine once you all finally see this, because THIS right here has driven me to a fury that is at an all time high! How dare they, how fucking dare they bring a close, personal friend of Ed's into this! These mongrels wish, pray and hope that they had even the slightest shred of good storytelling as Mr. M. Night Shyamalan! The injustice done onto the integrity of this good man will not go unpunished! For when SBC Falls and Lochnivar drops from the sky, fear the beast that is just one guy!

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Joh Annus: HOW'S THAT FOR A FUCKING TWEEST, YOU MOTHER-

The scene switches to Snog, Marry, Avoid: SBC Edition.

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Joh Annus: Nothing too out of the ordinarily hateful to report here, although it is quite obviously the painful handiwork of ssj v2, Mr Dr Professor Patrick, so

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Joh Annus: FUCK HIM. Cunt.

The scene switches to BenPaz's Life Story.

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Joh Annus: As somebody who has fairly recently gotten into Avatar, the live action adaptation of which that was directed quite beautifully, might I add, this admittedly tickles my fancy. Nothing can get much better than SBMers dying a slow, painful fiery death at the hands of a regime that we at Task Force 51 try to emulate to the greatest of our combined abilities. Brothers, I honestly believe this gets the highly coveted and sought after TF-51 medal of acknowledgement!

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Joh Annus: FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.

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The scene then switches to the Deathmatch Arena.

Joh Annus: Now this, this right here is the cherry on top of this massive pile dung you all call a "community". The cause of so many heart attacks for many members of our elite ysflight guard. We meet again, old man, although this is like my first time coming here and getting a feel for all of you in your natural habitat. I only need that much to know that you are all rabid dogs that need to be put down immediately. They claim this and others like it to be a "SpongeBob forum", a "children's forum". Bah! The only thing I've seen here, brothers, is the death and decay of humanity right before my very eyes. Entering a setting of such untold amounts of depravity may be complete suicide to you, brothers, but the ammunition to be had here could be damn near nuclear. With that kind of firepower at our disposal we will be even more unstoppable. The risk is very well worth the reward. Pray for me, brothers.

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Joh Annus: Right off the bat, FUCK YOU. You've lost the battle and for that, you have lost the war and you are dead!

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Joh Annus: Look at this, brothers, they don't even have respect for their fellow members. Such awful, disgusting and downright deplorable displays. Who could possibly do so much harm? Who possibly has this much time on their hands to willfully scope out every bit of an entire community and pick them apart like they're nothing? Who I ask you? WHO?!

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Joh Annus: On a lighter note, I am really liking the cut of this BenPaz's jib. Possibly a new recruit into our ranks? Of course not.

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Joh Annus: Admittedly, your brother here got a nice, hearty laugh from this one. Perhaps negotiations may be possible after all?

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Joh Annus: FUCK YOU, Todd.

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Joh Annus: What in the fuck. BMC pretty much admitted he just murdered his mom. What the fuck is wrong with you people?

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Joh Annus: Oho yes, this is quite amusing if I do say so, myself. Now, OBAB and ssj, people who do deserve getting a new ripped into them, are now in the process of having said new one getting ripped into them as I speak! I implore you, brothers, perhaps negotiations may be the best course of action for us to take with these SBCers.

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Joh Annus: Hold that thought, brothers. Wh-what the hell is this?

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Joh Annus: What in my name is all of this?! Th-They've got it, they've got Hunter! A-And The Grandmaster!

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Joh Annus: They've got it all!? How did they get their hands on this?! This is complete balderdash, brothers! I thought our meets with the SBM staff were in private?! Th-They're even making fun of my name! It's Swedish, possibly Scandinavian, you lifeless fucks! FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. 

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Joh Annnus: Oh, my heart! Never in all my years of systematically losing my mind over children forums have I even been fury driven to rage quite like this, brothers! We are at threat level Danger Dog, brothers!

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Joh Annus: Wait, what the actual fuck?!

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Joh Annus: Why?! HOW?! FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. *foaming at the mouth* you know so much, yet you all know so fucking little! FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK. FUCK. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

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Joh Annus: You think you've gotten us all figured out?! It is quite the opposite, believe me! Assuming makes an ASS out of YOU and not ME. I've got you in your own backyards! Lochnivar is REAL! It will drop before your very eyes and you won't even know what'd hit you as you all drop dead in the wake of it dropping! You worthless fucks! I should kill you!

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Joh Annus: FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. 

Joh Annus: You-You are all the same! Negotiations shall NEVER take place between us! I'll make fucking sure of it! Consider this your final warning, SBC, you're all well and truly FUCKED. So fuck signing in! And fuck joining!

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???: Hi, how are ya?

Joh Annus turns back to see himself confronted by a clique of anonymous users.

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Joh Annus: B-But how? How can you see me?! *whips out his gun and aims it at them* I'm just a guest!?

Anonymous User: Well we see a lot of things. In fact, I'd say that we see damn near everything. And we don't want to see it. Not a single thing.

Joh Annus: Then allow me to fulfill your dying wish.

Joh Annus pulls the trigger, but his gun jams up. He pulls on it multiple times more but to no effect.

Joh Annus: What?! I don't understand, this ammo is the strongest I've ever come across. Why isn't it working!

Anonymous User: Perhaps on SBC members, it'll work to great effect. But we are not SBC members. Not anymore.

Joh Annus: What do you mean? ELABORATE!

Anonymous User: We just keep to ourselves nowadays. A practice that I wish everybody else would adopt for themselves, you especially. We hide ourselves, and in doing so, we hide the shame of ever being associated with anybody in this place. So you see, you may have ammo to use against them. But good luck trying to find any on us. And seeing as how you like making a spectacle out of yourself for all to see, you've made it all the more easier for us to fire back against you.

Joh Annus pulls back his gun and staggers back a bit.

Joh Annus: Look, it appears you have your own grievances to air with this Community-

Anonymous User: And we will.

Joh Annus: As will me and my associates. Look, perhaps we can strike up some sort of a deal, a treaty between our sides in rebellion against this SBC scum!

Anonymous User: Once again, I don't think you understood the first time. We don't want to see it. Not. A. Single. Thing.

The anonymous user's two lackeys leap up and pounce on Joh Annus, causing the scene to go to black as Joh Annus is heard struggling with them. The screen statics back to Joh Annus being in SBC Music with some music already playing

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The chat is flaring up with messages, but Joh Annus sees nobody else in there with him.

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Joh Annus: What the hell is this?!

???: You just answered your own question.

Joh Annus makes a break for the home page, but he's intercepted by an unseen force and his camcorder drops to the ground.

???: It's hell.

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We then see Grandmaster again, who has just finished relaying Joh Annus' findings to the rest of his task force.

TGM: From what our intelligence can make of this, the SpongeBob Community have seemingly assembled their own special op task force to counteract our own. A task force that has somehow gotten its eye on us. This, gentlemen, is not only an act of terrorism, but it is an act of war, plain and simple. I want to ensure that Joh Annus' sacrifice will not have been in vain. He gave his online life to give us the edge that we need in shifting the tides of this war. These SBCers will stop at nothing to see to it that Task Force 51 is disbanded and destroyed. But as long as activity still flows through that Community's streams, we will always be there to give them the utmost of hell! Only until the day comes when that Community is as dead as Steel's spinoffs, which I believe will be soon, will we finally be able to move on with our online lives and systematically freak out over a children's forum elsewhere. This is what we do here at Task Force 51. We wage and win flame wars and we actually claim victory to arguments on the internet! We wear the emotional and mental scars from such battles with the highest of honor! They think they've got us where they want us. We're only playing them like a guitar! Strum and pull their strings, and hear the music they make while my guitar gently weeps as they all suffer at my hand. It is time we make preparations for Lochnivar's activation. Gentlemen....this is war. Grandmaster, over and logged out.

TGM proceeds to log out as he returns to the real world. 

ACS sits at his computer desk, musing to himself over what has just transpired. He checks in on his parents to make sure that he didn't disturb them with all of his raging. They were squirming around just a little bit before ACS closes and locks their door. He goes back into his room, taking a seat on his flattened chair and facing a wall full of various iPads.

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ACS: Terminate Joh Annus' account. Assign a new recruit in his stead, name him Johanneus. Make him Swedish, possibly Scandinavian. Perhaps throw a little black in there to mix up the pot. And have him put on SBM duty.

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ACS: Turn on Lochnivar...

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