Jump to content
  • Advertisement

Community Deathmatch


Recommended Posts

I started reading some of this today and it's actually pretty good. I had fun laughing at myself during my nooby days on SBM. I also see it as a way for members to improve, which is something that Team Rage may never understand. Good job. I'm nominating this for Honorary Show for the Golden Community Awards.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

HELLOOO SBC!

HHptRKy.jpg

Are you ready for Community Deathmatch? Well, it's not done yet

JVgcCC0.jpg

But here's a lil pre-match hype. Please take your mouses off the back button and please welcome our opening act!

Wolf Blitzer: Breaking News!

CfmGJSS.jpg

Wolf Blitzer: This just in the Tense Situation Room, we have received conflicting reports that North Korean hackers has griefed SpongeCraft, owned and operated by the SpongeBob Community, the current object of everyone's ire and attention! We have standing by with us right now, a possibly reliable source of information from the inside.

Spongeboblover: So I was just on chat, minding everyone's business asking them to come on SpongeCraft with me when these two guys, OMJ and Clappy, came and they actually came with me to SpongeCraft. In fact, we came here together! So there I was, mining my own business lol see what I did there? Here's my head shot.

pNwSTBl.jpg

Spongeboblover: Whoops :funny: see what I did there again?! Here, take my real headshot.

WpxQbNg.jpg

Spongeboblover: As you can see, I'm the butt of my own jokes! HAHA!

Sblover gets cut off.

Wolf Blitzer: Now we here in the Tense Situation Room can't confirm for sure just how reliable this source's statements are because he is literally speaking out of his own ass, but we here in the Tense Situation Room will continue to keep you informed and updated with any scrap we can possibly get our claws on and blow out of proportion, like SpongeBob forums-

The screen cuts out

L7S0fFxl.jpg

r5MRgRE.jpg

Chad Francis: Thanks Wolf! Spunky SpongeBob reporter, Chad Francis, the only reporter who brought you a live summarization of an interview with Tom Kenny, here with my dog, Spunky!

JZZVCmM.jpg

Spunky: *LOUD ASS BARK*

Chad Francis: Reporting LIVE from the weird part of YouTube, where I am trying to find the mysterious compound of Mr Enter because it's a slow news day everyday when it comes to SpongeBob news and I am not DadMom. Now being that the Chad News Network station wagon is based in this part of YouTube as well, it shouldn't be too hard to find according to my reliable source, Wikipedia.

The scene cuts to Chad Francis approaching two rural users.

wbZXd0f.jpg

Chad Francis: Excuse me sirs and/or madames, Chad Francis here of Channel Chad Action News!

Atalaef: MR ENTER WAS IN HIS REVIEWING INFANCY THEN! HES GOTTEN HIS CARTOON DEGREE SINCE THEN!

Spunky: *LOUD ASS WHIMPERS*

SpongeCob: You'll find em, just head down there and make a topic half a mile that way.

bYdV3nG.jpg

SpongeCob: You'll know.

Chad Francis: Alright, thank you!

Cha Francis walks off with Spunky.

Chad Francis: I wonder if Wikipedia knows any other routes.

Chad gets in his car, scrolls around Wikipedia, and drives off.

Spunky: rrrr *TWO LOUD ASS BARKS*

Chad Francis: Quiet, Spunkyyyy! This is why you'll never be spunky reporter- *hits something*

L8b5MdT.jpg

Chad Francis: *cheeses it* This just in, folks! A deadly hit and run has just taken place and your own resident spunky news reporter, Chad Francis, is hot on the trail of the fleeing assailant! More on this at 11!

tumblr_n63njjYUgA1sut4kno2_500.jpg

Chad Francis: This is spunky news reporter and my dog, Spunky, here, reporting live from what Wikipedia tells me is the Mysterious Enter compound.

cWocU4f.jpg

Chad Francis slowly approaches from the side of the house.

Chad Francis: Oh dear, I have just laid sights on one of the members of his fan base. He appears to be in the process of burning his own eyes out or digging his own grave, either/or.

qJVmuOU.jpg

erWryO9.jpg

SB DW: Shhhhh...

Chad Francis: Oh no, he just saw me! Curse me for being so goddamn spunky-

Suddenly, someone or something pulls Chad Francis aside.

???: Hey mate

Spoiler
6QsnT3e.jpg

Chad Francis: AAAHHH! It's definitely something!

More Spandy: You may enter.

More Spandy leads Chad Francis to the doorsteps of the compound.

More Spandy: Don't hate

Spunky lets out a few LOUD ASS WHIMPERS before they enter the Enter fan base. Voices could only be heard chanting one thing

???: Enter. Enter. Enter. Enter. Enter. Enter.

Chad Francis strays from More Spandy and enters the room where the voices emanated from.

Kgegl8J.jpg

Takuto Shindou: Enter. Enter. Enter. Enter. Enter.

Chad Francis: Oh dear Neptune...this is just terrible! You heard it here first on Chaddel 11-

More Spandy: HEY! I already told you not to hate.

More Spandy backs down a corridor and points Chad Francis off.

2QjMBOl.jpg

More Spandy: Enter.

Chad Francis heads into the direction that More Spandy was pointing and strolls down the hallway to a locked door. He turns back to see More already gone before turning front find himself face to face with

9ZQa3OP.jpg

Mr Enter: There you are! Please, enter. I've been waiting for you.

Enter proceeds to lead Chad Francis and a LOUD ASS WHIMPERING Spunky into the dark room, humming the MLP: FiM theme, before the camera cuts out to static.

Chad Francis: Back to you Chad News 11 in LA!

fIpORwul.jpg

Who the hell is that kid?

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Apologies for taking my sweet ass time with this one. A lot of online drama just came up throughout all this and it's all very good material, so good that it blew up this what was supposed to be one (maybe two) part season 2 finale that I planned on posting back in January, into damn well the entirety of season 3 lol (for details on the exact episode listing, check the DM wiki page). I originally wanted to post this last part in it's entirety but between all the stuff going on in it and my overall procrastination as of late (and bear in mind that I write everything and make all the visual aids on just an ipad alone), I'll have to post it in parts as I go along making it because it'll probs be a clusterfuck if I post it all at once. So hopefully some DM is better than none at all. Consider this and the parts to come all the same episode, like a movie of sorts. The SpongeBob Movie, to be exact, since it came at the end of the third season. And then watch as things decline from season 4+.

In other news, Community Deathmatch made two years last month! So also consider this a two year anniversary celebration of sorts.

The following program you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is not entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein...except maybe everyone, lets face it

...Anyway, IT'S JUST POOOOOOSTSTSTSTSTS!

The ACSaga: Seems He What Not or The Probs Disappointing Follow-Up To An Otherwise Great Episode (aka The Walking Dead Season 3 Finale [also aka Community Deathmatch Season 3 Finale])

We're buddies, don't panic

We're all a little manic

And in this lit classic

We're infecting your PC

dX4LrAn.jpg

We're comic expensers

We lose our shit at all the censors

d9lB2if.jpg

On SpongeBuddy Mania

It's full of dramedy

So here's SBMania

It's the trashiest site in town

Our home sweet home, it stands alone

When garbage day comes around

SpongeBob: Shift's over. I'll see you in the A.M., Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: Hold on there, me boy! Take that pile of filth out with ye.

C7XWO3O.jpg

Sign up and get ejected

The gags are all expected

82BNJmol.jpg

xUdxmacl.jpg

JVgPmBN.jpg

hdUQYFO.jpg

On SpongeBuddy Mania

Shit is going down!

He's a furry and he's not funny

kH7iXNm.jpg

Ooooooofy: They're Gwen and Senor, dummy

aX6cD8t.jpg

Storm Allen's got his honeys

wYjVDMd.jpg

and HESRUSTYOKAY(DABAHDEEDOW)

There's Katniss and Popeye (get a room)

Web Surfer's a tough guy

NTfLG0W.jpg

Nards can't get pussy

a77tu8X.jpg

319KiSu.jpg

and Team Rocket is insane

xu0We29.jpg

kAYRb9f.jpg

bo4PozC.jpg

In the SBM Blogs

You will earn cartoon degrees

The reviews are bad

Nothing to add since we tried copying that blob's atrocities

We're still buddies, don't panic

We're just all a little manic

It's SpongeBuddy Mania

Come and join the schlock!

AND NOW THIS STATUS IS LOCKED LEL

nrnQgN2.jpg

Grandmaster: Gladly- !!!

The Ayas fire off their technicolor hair colors and it hits ACS head on. The Grandmaster tries to take in as much of the blast as he could.

Jjs: BAH GAWD WHAT IN NEPTUNE'S NAME IS HE THINKING?! THINK ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS! THINK ABOUT YOUR FAM- oh yeah, right

The Ayas' hair dyes manages to blast The Grandmaster off his feet and into the air.

Jjs: Aya's (plural) taken that behemoth off his feet and has given him more than he could chew! A Deathmatch first here, folks! And he's heading straight for- THE BROADCAST BOOTH?!

Jjs ducks as the blast makes contact with the broadcast booth of the entrance ramp, ACSploding on impact. Jjs nonchalantly emerges from the rubble with only dirt on his clothes.

Jjs: ACStounding! Aya has single-handedly blown ACS to kingdom cum!

Crushing also nonchalantly emerges from the rubble, unscathed and eating a slice of bread.

Crushing: You can say that again, Jjs, but keep it to yourself by all means chicos!

Aya: Who wants to kiss my cheeks?!

Halibut: Thank you Aya tbh

Rusty: ITHANKYOUOKAY!

MMM: I thank you from the bottom of my arteries, m'queen!

RcIzMdm.jpg

Aya: I see I have some takers.

Smitty: I'm #1 in line, and no one can tell me otherwise!

Aya: Go to your room.

French Narrator: And thus, Smitty goes to his room as the sun begins to rise, driving off the dark of night and shining it's lively rays of light ironically down on the Deathmatch Arena, and the members who desperately needs it. And on cue, this sets off Omair's mental alarm clock.

Omair: Mr. Sum came pu andhe he smield at me!

Wp2PT87.jpg

Mr. Sun: It's gonna be a cold one, just wait and seeee!

Omair: I humped outof deb and I rsn outside feling most exclited gay squiddified! ITWAS THE SNOW GAY EEEEEVERRRR-

dfO534xh.jpg

ZVKsBfZ.jpg

Omair: YOU NASIC BUTCH!

JJGFlSi.jpg

Omair charges at Mr. Sun, and he immediately goes out in a blaze of glory on contact because it's the fucking sun after all. We then see the SBMers celebrating ACS being gone until the next time he and/or his only halfway likable-

Jjs: Which is stretching it like ACS in a pair of size 34 jeans.

personality, Doc Hunter, rears his ugly head back in and they start being pals again, I guess.

Prez: Finally! I'm free, free from all his PMS!

Halibut: Don't you mean PMs tbh?

Prez: No.

Prez begins dry humping the air in celebration because its so edgy, you could cut your finger on it while reading.

Jjs: We here at Community Deathmatch, much like with bruised egos and hurt butts, claim no responsibility for any paper cuts received from reading herein!

Crushing: But don't take our word for it mangs.

Halibut: Lets celebrate this momentous occasion with a plug.dj party!

French Narrator: And so, every SBMer (consequently, about 80% of SBCers) got on their buttplug.djs and probably annoyed the snot out of each other until they realized that plug sucks and switched over to SBC Music and posted porno vids until

Clappy and OMJ suddenly crash into SBC Music and they beat each other down on the dance floor.

Jjs: Bah GAWD! Clappy and OMJ have literally crashed the festivities and are now battling through the crowd of prepubescents!

Clappy jumps to pounce on a down on his back OMJ, but OMJ reacts by kicking both legs up and over, catching Clappy in the chest and kicking him into the SBC Music turntable while everybody was too busy watching their first porno and popping their first boners. Clappy sends OMJ flying into the video feed, breaking it.

Jjs: Oh no, Clappy and OMJ have now broken SBC Music with their egos!

Crushing: A tough loss, but I'm sure everybody will get over it eventually. I know I won't.

Jjs: But for now, I must perform my civic duty as new Director in Chief of the SpongeBob Community. Yeah, remember when we "abolished" the main admin position, folks?

Jjs gets up on stage and searches for some music to play.

FVrUeG0l.jpg

pOJXYybl.jpg

tgNRsshl.jpg

OpiQ0kZ.jpg

Jjs: Now I can't believe I'm really gonna have to announce and put a pin on this, but here's what SBC Music is really for, I tell you hwat.

Clappy and OMJ's fight spills out into the Community as Jjs gives everyone a lecture about posting porn on SBC Music.

Crushing: Clappy and OMJ look to take their activity elsewhere while Jjs single-handedly kills the activity yet again by literally cock blocking little kids' wet dreams, thus throwing the Community into yet another slump like other main admins before him, mang.

tumblr_mmbo1sa2Lv1r65ftxo1_500.gif

Crushing: Or maybe not.

Clappy and OMJ fight all the way to Glove Universe, using various glove paraphernalia on each other.

Crushing: Clappy and OMJ have now invaded the Glove Universe shop, no doubt giving that ghost town the most activity it's seen that doesn't involve chicos buying new usernames!

Clappy: I've got gloves for my CLAPPY ACTION FIGURE!

Clappy shouts as he puts on a pair of gloves and uses them to clap his hands on OMJ's head multiple times.

Crushing: Clappy giving OMJ the good ole-fashioned Clap. Perhaps clapping on such a creative mind will maybe or maybe not help him think up of yet another new, creative username.

OMJ: I got my Glove Fleshlight!

OMJ proceeds to beat Clappy's head with it.

Crushing: OMJ sure is going to town on Clappy with that Glove Fleshlight, chico.Yes, something tells me he's had experience with this before. He may be active in the Games, but Jenkins isn't foreplaying around here.

Clappy gets back on the offensive and gives OMJ an overdose of The Clap, so much that it changes up OMJ's profile.

Jjs: I can't believe it! Clappy has clapped so much that it changed OMJ's username almost entirely.

Crushing: About time, that took you long enough.

Jjs: Sorry, they wanted an encore lecture.

Clappy: There's some irony in here somewhere :laugh:

Viagra Man Jenkins: Takin another one of my jokes? I have no rockmate :stinkeye:

Crushing: If you're wondering how Jenkins keeps himself so active around the forums, mangs, well now you know.

VMJ slaps himself with Name Change to change his name back, then he grabs another Name Change and hits up Clappy's profile with it.

Crappy: "Crappy"? :glare: is that the best you can come up wi-

OMJ then hits Clappu up with multiple Name Changers, one after the other.

Jjs: Crapmaster, Crap Frost, Crappy Bird, Craptain America!

Crushing: The Crapmissioner, Crap Eastwood, Crapward, Crappy the Elf.

Jjs: Crapimir Pootin, CrapDog, Nostalgia Crap, Crapotato!

Crushing: Crappy Rhodes, Crap Morrison, Crapotle, Crapert.

Jjs: Crapper Pines, Crapples, Mini Crapward, Handsome Crapward!

Crushing: Crapton.

Clappy: Oh, that's goo :glare: but not goo enough!

Clappy tackles OMJ onto a boat heading into the Tunnel of Glove and they hammer away all the way inside.

NhGGuIW.jpg

There's a calm surrender

To the rush of day

When the heat of a rolling wind

Can be turned away

An enchanted moment

And it sees me through

It's enough for this restless warrior

Just to be with you

Oz5YaBf.jpg

And CAAAAN YOU FEEEELLL THE GLOOOOVE TONIIIIIIGHT?

It is where we are

Clappy: Forget the picture! This one's personal :glare:

GepBcCU.jpg

OMJ: AH! AH! AAAHHH!

It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer

That we've got this far

FHgf62L.jpg

Trophy: Why isn't he writing a new ATTWL? Why isn't he participating in the xat games while I'm carrying our team? Why isn't he doing anything ever? WHY IS HE NOT BEING FIRED OUT OF MY CANNON? :glare:

RSF notices Clappy having at it with Jenks, something they too used to have back in good ole 2009. Things weren't the same between Clappy and RSF. RSF rose above hate and hustled, stayed loyal to and respected SBM while Clappy rose to power at SBC. They would barely give each other passing glances during Clappy's monumental visitations to SBM. For once, RSF felt the need to do something that wasn't sports-related.

Q5tOQA8.jpg

Clappy pins OMJ down.

9VotO6m.jpg

sEmApS7.jpg

F2cEWPU.jpg

At the end of the ride, they fight out of the boat and right to the photo counter to pick up their snapshot.

pjWvxVM.jpg

Before kindly fucking each other up again, out into the community.

Jjs: While they ravage through the forums, lets head right back to the ring, where it's filling back up with spam, egos, teenage angst and menstrual blood! Otherwise known as,

o545xLR.jpg

  • Like 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

But I sure love playing p0rn on SBC Music, it's my national pasttime. :(

Also a note you might wanna have me make remarks about the past failures of the Anaheim Ducks to RSF if it goes in that kind of direction.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...