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Decided I'm gonna be posting the finale in parts, but they're all still the same episode and not actual separate parts one, two etc. Sue me :stinkeye::funny:

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...Anyway, IT'S JUST POSTS!

Episode 20 2: Zero Darkstar Thirty Black Cock Down (Sorry Nuggets)

THEN

Dylan: You will be entering the most dangerous chatroom in the entire World Wide Web. SBM's people will believe everything ACS tells them, including that he's friends with Dennis Rodman or he doesn't urinate or defecate.

Elastic: Wait, is this supposed to be a reference to the last three parts? Wtf is going on here?

Sex: You meanin to tell me that our boi don't pee or poo? :glare::funny:

Elastic: Of course he pees and poos, stupid. Otherwise, where else would all that food go? He'd just assplode?

Sex: Now, I have to admit something, he pretty slimmer than y'all give em credit for. I'm just sayin! I ain't admirin dat bod, I'm just admirin dat workout regimen he got goin on. I can see dem scalenes of his :funny:

Dylan: And that's why we at SBC would like you to take him out.

Elastic: Take him out? Like, for a guy's night out on the town? Give him a few friends to hang out with for once because I might just be for it, I sorta feel sorry for the guy.

Sex: Take em out to dinner? Muh'fucka be hungry and he'd just love my parent's place. :smirk:

Elastic: ACS gets some social interaction time in, gets his stomach full, he's happy, Yianni's parent's place makes some major dollar off him, they're happy, everybody wins!

Dylan: No, you dumb BETches we want you to take him out.

Sex: Is that a rib on Black Entertainment Television? You know Nuggets ain't gon like hearing dat shit :laugh:

Elastic: ...You want us to kill the North Korean member of Team Rage?

Sex gets on his mic.

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Sex: You wanna go kill ACS? :funny:

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Elastic: Totally, I'd love to assassinate that ass. It's a date.

Elastic and Sex approach the deathmatch arena.

Sex: And as the two best friends stared each other in the eyes, they knew that this might be the end of that long road. And even though neither one could say it out loud, they were both thinking...

Elastic & Sex: ...Lloyd Kaufman.

Elastic: And this is why everybody thinks we're gay.

NOW

As MR was about to toast Elastic Dog on an open-fire, Elastic catches a glimpse of Sex's now headless corpse. Everything went white suddenly, but it wasn't Sauce, it was the flashbacks.

OMJ: Along with tonight's special musical guest, Chicago!

Jjs: Thats not going over our budget?

OMJ: I threw everything but the kitchen sink at em.

Jjs: Just for a lousy band that's not Imagine Dragons?!

OMJ: Not at the band! I was using Chicago as incentive to get CM Punk to sign up for Deathmatch, but the fuckin UFC got to em first.

Jjs: The ole Community Deathmatch motto we have here, folks: "A whole lotta somethin for a whole lotta nothin!"

OMJ: You think he would've signed up had I threw the kitchen sink at him?

Jjs: He'd probably just get hurt.

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I guess I thought you'd be here forever

Another illusion I chose to create

Jjs: That last part goes more with ACS. just sayin

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You don't know what you got until its gone

And I find out a little too late

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I was acting as if you were lucky to have me

Doin' you a favor, I hardly knew you were there

But then you were gone, and it all was wrong

Had no idea how much I cared

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Now being without you takes a lot of getting used to

Should learn to live with it, but I don't want to!

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Being without you is all a big mistake

Instead of getting easier, it's the hardest thing to take

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I'm addicted you babe!

You're a haaaard habit to breeeeaaaak!

OMJ: Sex addiction can be pretty difficult to overcome, Jjs!

Jjs: And how would you know that?

OMJ: Because-

Grandmaster: You touch yourself at night.

Jjs: Vintage ACS, trying to haphazardly use other people's jokes.

Ex: Y'all two are still gay.

Elastic: Yes, we were. We were gay.

OMJ: W-wait what?

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Elastic: We were happy, we had something, a bond, a brotherhood that was real. Something you fat fuck wouldn't know anything aboooouuuuuttt!!!

Elastic pounces up from the open fire, somewhat charred and burned, and lays a couple punches to MR's face before taking his chopsticks and jamming them into his eyeballs.

OMJ: Now you know you ain't Korean when you can fit anything, let alone chopsticks, into your eye sockets!

Elastic slams MR's head to the ground by his chopsticks. Elastic successfully fights him off, but finds himself surrounded by the other members of ACS's and Eights. Elastic proceeds to suicide dive outside the ring and onto the rest of them, but ACS and his butt buddies manage to catch Elastic in mid-air and shove him spine first into the steel corner post.

OMJ: Elastic, putting the "suicide" in "suicide dive"!

They then give him a six man Triple Payday, back-first, into the ring apron. Elastic's back cracks against it before dropping to the floor.

Jjs: Or a Sextuple Payday!

OMJ: Jjs!

Jjs: What?

OMJ: Too soon!

The Ragers proceed to go hard on Elastic, laying on some hard stomps and punches while he's down.

OMJ: You know, Nuggets would make a perfect Craig Robinson- oops, better edit that out before he gets offended.

Jjs: I think it'd be more offensive if he wasn't Craig Robinson. It'd be like casting non-Asians in The Last Airbender.

OMJ: You bring up a good point, Jjs Baruchel. And hopefully he appreciates that Avatar comparison just enough to not get offended at the both of us.

Grandmaster: I don't think you gentlemen quite know the hole you are continuously and rapidly digging yourselves into-

???: Whoa, just take it easy man and take some Viagra.

Grandmaster: Really? This? Again?!

ACS: WE WILL NOT TAKE IT EASY! The ACS' and Eights takes it hard! We go in hard, we are hard, we don't need Viagra! WE ARE THE VERY DEFINITION OF HARD.

???: Yes, quite like that hard, constipated piece of shit that you can never quite push out of there. But if anybody, and I mean anybody, is gonna be digging graves and burying people in them, it's gonna be...me...

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Clappy: Accompanied by these guys :funny:

Nuggets: And OMJ, I do take offense, sir, I do! :glare:

Nuggets gives OMJ 20 warning points.

OMJ: Holy shit, mang!

Nuggets gives him 5 warning points.

OMJ: What was that for?!

Nuggets: Taking Yeezus in vain :glare:

The guests in attendance start to chant "Holy Shit", prompting Nugs to give them five warning points too, as The ACS's and Eights leave Elastic and set their crosshairs on Clappy and company.

Jjs: I can't believe it! Clappy's ego has shown itself once again here in the Deathmatch Arena!

OMJ: I think that IS Clappy, Jjs! Although I'm sure his ego would be the same size!

Jjs: And he's brought some back up along with him in fellow returning deathmatch victors: Nuggets, Shin and Termi!

OMJ: Does Nuggets look a bit whiter to you?

Jjs: Surely things haven't been easy for him since the accident, when Team Rage made an attempt on his life following his dominant win over Box during this past season's premiere.

OMJ: Team Rage almost made literal soul food out of him that night, and Nuggets looks to be back, with weapons!

Jjs: Those weapons being the rather blunt instruments of construction that laid out the foundries for this SpongeBob Community that we live in today!

OMJ: And Shin.

Jjs: But those instruments are looking to cause plenty of destruction, and they have about seven users to systematically pick apart here tonight!

OMJ: Or just one very big user.

Crushing: The more members we have joining in on this thing, the merrier mang. It's just too bad we'll end up with less once it's all said and done chicos.

ACS: Well, well, well. If it ain't the Billboard charters! You morons done plugging each other up, riding each other's billboards? You wanna get in on this pounding? Well then line right up, because like I said, the ACS's and Eights go in HARD.

Shin: I forgot how much of a presumptive twat you were ACS, thanks for reminding me. You maximum edgy fedora wearing teen.

Clappy: Coming from the guy that plays Chad Kroeger, ACS, I can totally imagine your bite being a lot worse than your bark.

ACS: You morons wanna see my bite, well EAT ME YA MORONS!

Jjs: I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be the other way around, ACS.

Clappy: You know, you talk a lot of shit, ACS. But real talk, everything that comes out of your mouth is complete and utter bullshit. But unlike you, just you, we don't talk shit. We sling it because we here believe that action speaks louder than words.

Termi takes a few new works of his art and hands them out to Clappy, Shin and Nugs for them to show ACS's and Eights.

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OMJ: The first shits have been fired!

Nuggets: Or in this case, maybe a little of both to get it through all the fat covering your skull!

ACS: You think that'll be enough to intimidate me, intimidate US?! We already took out three of your moron friends! We'll do the same to you all the same! rofl.gif

OMJ: Somebody should get that pregnant walrus out of here before it gets hurt in the carnage!

Jjs: Jenks, I believe that's just ACS rolling on the floor laughing.

OMJ: And I was just about to say that a certain dirty white girl has been hitting the sauce on that walrus one two many times. But somebody should really send in the Oompa Loompas so they can get ACS to the juicing room, stat!

Jjs: He sure comes off like the brats from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

Grandmaster: Gentlemen, I am still present here, you know. AND I will report to ACS all this balderdash post haste.

Jjs: I thought he reports to you.

Grandmaster: I SAID WHAT I SAID, RAPSCALLION!

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Clappy: You hear that, Shin? The Brat is gonna go do the same to us all the same!

Shin: No! Not like this clap! Not like thissss!! Not while I have more blazers to buy or rugs to wear as shirts or cars to pose in front of to pass it off as my own! Nuggets, I only type in Georgia font because of you man, after your home state!

Nuggets: Clappy, I used your saxophone to unplug my dj!

Clappy: Termi, I don't trust that bitch in apartment 23- WTF is that supposed to mean, Nugs? :stinkeye:

ACS: ENOUGH WITH THE DOGSHIT, now line up so we can eat you alive!

OMJ: Thats the spirit!

Clappy: There you go talking shit and being a hypocrite again. Look ACS, we're gonna make your final hours the best you've ever had.

Nuggets: And we ain't talking about Drake!

Clappy: And this time, we're gonna sling and talk more shit right back. So much, that you're gonna drown in it!

Shin: DROWN IN IT

While the ACS's and Eights were all caught up in their banter with Clappy, Elastic made it back into the ring, pulled down his pants sat atop the ropes. He proceeds to douse ACS (plural) in a shower of shit.

Jjs: Clappy, proving why he likes Christmas so goddamn much, has bought Elastic enough time to give ACS a little taste of his own medicine!

OMJ: And like most cough medicines, it tastes like shit!

Jjs: Jenks, I really don't think ACS would be that idiotic enough to-

ACS: Hey this ain't chocolate pudding, THIS TASTES LIKE SHIT!

Jjs: And my faith for humanity lessens more more as this episode goes on, folks!

OMJ: How would he even know what shit tastes like anyway?

Jjs: Well like the Clap said, a lot of it sure comes out of that mouth of his.

Grandmaster: Gentlemen, I, for one and only, can vouch that he's eaten Odysseus' Swiss cheese before.

Jjs: ...Should I call the regular police or...

ARE YOU READY?

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Shin: eh you think you can tell us what to do

Termi: You think you can tell us what to wear

Nuggets: You think that you're better

Clappy: Well you better get ready to bow down to the clapmasters

KICK IT DOWN!

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D-Generation Xat crotch chops the ACS's and Eights before running down the ramp and clashes with the ACS's and Eights head-on, promptly kicking their asses.

Jjs: Dear Neptune below, I cannot believe what I am seeing!

OMJ: I can't apply this picture of what we're seeing directly into my forehead, jjs!

Jjs: D-Generation Xat is here in the Deathmatch Arena, and they're here to take the fight back to ACS's and Eights, who are stuck rolling around in the shit like the pigs they really are!

Crushing: I always thought it was a pretty bad move to separate the xat from the community, mang, although I'm sure the staff had the community's best interest at heart. The xat gets more members and activity than the community these days, chico.

Grandmaster: I scoff that you degenerates really think that this pitiful last line of defense will be enough to take down a multitude of specially trained special-ops teams composed of very special people who each have a special place in my heart, brought up under my special supervision, and no one else's but my own especially.

OMJ: Cool it, Mr. Simmons.

Jjs: I'm beginning to think you really are special.

DX fights ACS's and Eights back all around the ring. Clappy is getting clap happy, clap slapping the shit out of ACS and Felix's mouths, Shin is going around super kicking any ACS's and Eights member he comes across like a maniac, Nuggets is giving Doc Hunter and Wolfie a couple of six-piece meals before giving ACS a ten piece meal because that mothrafucker's hungry. Termi bashes MR-17 in the head with his briefcase before bashing Darris in his jerry curls multiple times with the fist that hides in his beard.

OMJ: DX is kicking ACS's and Eights around like Kevin Spacey to the gluttony victim in Se7en!

Clappy: We'll be singing, when we're winning!

Shin: WE'LL BE SINGING

Jjs: A Deathmatch Season Finale Post-Show SBC Music After Party?!

OMJ: Fuck yeah, I'm down with that!

Jjs: Well Jenks, I've got two words for ya, and those two words are, and I quote, "SUCK IT!" because you can't play music on mobile.

OMJ: :stinkeye:

ACS and Felix manage to outnumber Clappy and they throw him nose-first into the steel ring post. Nugs comes in for the assist, but Doc Hunter and Wolfie come back at him and Wolfie lays him out with a Wolf Fang Fist. Felix drops a still beaten and bruised Elastic down from the ring while ACS and MR assists Darris in apprehending Termi. They hold Termi in place for Felix to Madcat claw his face, and beard, off.

OMJ: Well, they ain't winning now so no Deathmatch SBC Music After Party for y'all either :laugh:

Jjs: No! Claw off anything but the beard, please!

Grandmaster: Reminds me of the time I first taught KD how to shave. Haha.

OMJ: What? When he was 5?

Shin suddenly comes diving out from the ring, but Darris intercepts him and headbutts Shin head on with his Jerry curls, smashing his face in a bit, before pile driving him to the hard floor. Shin lays on his head, rigid, before flipping over three times and flopping to the floor.

Darris: XTMRAAAAAAAGEEEE!

Jjs: Shin's overselling it a bit.

OMJ: Come on, Jjs, he works at, like, Macy's or a Korean restaurant or some shit. He oversells for a living!

Team Rage picks Termi back up and Felix goes back to work, clawing Termi's face, but more importantly the beard, off.

Jjs: Noooo! This is sadder than ACS, this is sadder than the opening to Up! Neptune damn them!

OMJ: If Termi ever wants to make a Pixar movie with such a downer opening, I think he should make this happen.

Nuggets rushes into the ring and football tackles ACS right back out of it.

Jjs: Nuggets just tackled ACS and himself clear out of the ring!

OMJ: Davy Jones' Locker hath no fury like a black man scorned, Jjs! And Nuggets looks to be looking for some reparacions.

Jjs: And it seems to be by stuffing ACS into said locker, Jenks!

OMJ: Something tells me ACS is pretty used to it.

Jjs: I would not be surprised in the slightest, Jenk Man. But I would be surprised if he actually did fit.

Grandmaster: Gentlemen, I for one can tell you for a fact that ACS is the one that does the stuffing around here, the little rebel rouser.

Jjs: Yes, and I'm sure he stuffs it into the turkey as well.

OMJ: And speaking of stuffing, Jjs, Clappy's getting it beaten out of him right now!

Clappy tries to get up, but Hunter and Wolfie knocks him down to the floor hard with their Ding Dong Death Drop. Clappy gets up from it like it was nothing, but they knock him back down all the same. Clappy gets up for more and he gets just that.

Jjs: Clappy gets knocked down, but he gets up again!

OMJ: They're never gonna keep him down!

Jjs: Clappy's doing an awful lot of no selling to the ACS's and Eights here tonight.

OMJ: Of course he is, Jjs! He's a manager or some shit at Hertz. He doesn't sell cars, he rents em out for a living!

Nugs gets some stiff shots in on ACS outside, but ACS surprises him with some selfies of himself at 4 AM.

OMJ: ACS is pissing the night away, Jjs! He's pissing the night away!

Jjs: What in Neptune's name could he possibly be doing up at that almost ungodly hour?

OMJ: Making chocolate pudding.

Crushing: Oops, better edit that out too mang.

Jjs: I think it'd be more racist if it were vanilla pudding.

OMJ: Or strawberry.

Jjs: Who could strawberry pudding possibly offend?

OMj: ...Native Americans.

Inside the ring, Termi, sans the beard, is being hoisted up for a Triple Payday onto one of the corner turnbuckles.

Jjs: Bah gawd! We have seen this move happen before folks! It even took the life of another one of the community's most gifted artists, Jelly, who also has quite the storied history with the bulk of our combatants here this evening.

OMJ: Speaking of which, Crushing, since you've been ironically dead throughout this part of the commentary-

Crushing: Sometimes the best contribution is contributing nothing at all, mang.

Jjs: Dafuq?

OMJ: Well, last time you were on commentary, you said you'd work on getting Jelly's killers. Here they are all lined up in a row, ripe for the taking and yet you're not taking...lives?

Crushing: Like I jes said, chicos. Sometimes the best contribucion is contributing nada at all.

Jjs: While I'm sure Clappy would jump at the chance to verbally spar with you on that one, I'm afraid he's too preoccupied physically sparring with Hunter and Wolfie of Team Rage, who are continuously jumping at the chance to-

Grandmaster: THEY'RE TF-51, DUH! *fixes monocle* as you were saying, gentlemen.

Jjs: And Termi has been just about set up for the Triple Payday for about two whole minutes.

Felix, Darris and MR-17 hold Termi up over the steel turnbuckle, but Termi digs through his portfolio and pulls out three PayDay candy bars. He proceeds to toss them down to the three Ragers below. They each grab a bar for themselves.

Jjs: Termi's quick wit has pulled through for him again here, folks! He's used three PayDay bars to sorta bribe Darris, Felix and MR out of killing him! Talk about a triple payday, indeed!

OMJ: Do they even know that stuff's supposed to be good for them?

ACS overpowers and throws Nuggets into the audience barricades and stomps him out a little before going back into the ring and blindsiding Termi with some lemon party from behind. He then goes to snap his boys out of it.

ACS: WHAT ARE YOU MORONS DOING? You're supposed to check your candy first before you eat them from strangers!

Felix: What can we say, we're victims of circumstance

ACS: 2705453_o.gif

Darris: Hey, you leave him alone!

ACS: Who asked you!

Felix: Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk!

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Jjs: It appears the principle members of Team Rage are fighting amongst themselves!

OMJ: Maybe if we're really lucky, he might just kill himself!

Jjs: Whoa, you just entered some pretty dark territory there man, and I'm not just saying that to offend Nuggets.

Termi gets in the middle of their squabble and breaks them up.

Termi: Gentlemen. Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen.

Grandmaster: I say it with more finesse, more baritone in my voice, the likes of which can't quite be easily replicated, gentlemen.

Termi: We're all mature, like-minded manchildren, right? Well, I know I am. I don't really know you, but as SBC's most mature member, I challenge you to a battle of wits.

ACS: You're freakin on ya FREAKIN MORON! But can it be the ones with the cheese? I like the ones with the cheese.

Termi: Wits, not Ritz.

ACS: Well this just got a whole lot more FREAKIN MORONIC!

Termi digs into his portfolio again.

Jjs: What else could Termi possible have prepared in that portfolio of his?

Termi takes out two glasses and some bottles of alcohol.

Jjs: Seems he's prepared himself a few drinks!

Termi: A true gentlemen's challenge being, a drinking contest.

ACS: You really are a freakin moron, aren't you? I couldn't expect no more or less from the creator of this trash heap. Felix, show em how a real man drinks.

Jjs: Ironic, considering he's not real,

Felix: You're fuckin on, queer.

Felix and Termi fill up and grab their glasses.

Termi: After this, I'm gonna have to change my name to Terminix, because I'll be the one that clears out you pests.

OMJ turns to Grandmaster and grabs his mic.

OMJ: OHHH! *drops the mic*

Termi and Felix start chugging their drinks down. They go through various bottles, but Termi seems to be holding up a bit better than his opponent. Elastic and Nugs try to get in on it, but ACS and MR quickly deny them entry by knocking them back out.

Jjs: Felix looks to be blitzed while Termi's in the club getting tipsy!

OMJ: Lightweights.

Felix bobs around a little, trying to take his latest glass to his mouth.

ACS: Felix, you will win this or by god, I'll disown you!

Felix takes the glass to his mouth but accidentally rams it into his face out of intoxication, knocking himself down to the floor.

ACS: FELIX!

Termi continues to chug down like a warrior.

ACS: FIX THIS, FELIX!

OMJ: He drinks a whiskey drink! He drinks a vodka drink! He drinks a lager drink! he drinks a cider drink!

Jjs: He sings a song that reminds him of the good times!

Termi: "What if I say I'm notlikekekdjfj the others? What if I say I'm not just...another OEN of your plays? Your the pretender! I WILL NEVER SURRENDER!"

OMJ: He sings a song that reminds him of the better times!

Termi: "I can't think 'cause I'm just way too drunk out of my mind! Is this it? Is this it? Is this... IT?"

ACS grabs a bottle of rum and cracks it into Termi's beardless face.

ACS: Felix, you always were a FREAKIN MORON

ACS has Darris and MR scoop Termi up. They hoist him onto ACS's shoulders for yet another Triple PayDay.

Jjs: This could the end for Termi here, folks!

OMJ: He's gonna be leaving us for the great, big art school in the sky!

Termi: Stop! If you lemme go, I can get that internship with Pixar and bring you more Planes!

ACS and Eights actually lower him down a bit.

ACS: You would really do that?

Termi: No, I'LL FUCKIN SEE TO IT THAT IT CRASHES AND BURNS! HAVE IT FUCKIN GROUNDED LIKE IT SHOULVE BEEN IN THE FIRST PLACE

ACS, Darris and MR lift him up all the way.

ACS: Well, check this out! Me and the boys are about to make a Picasso. WITH YA FREAKIN BODY!

Clappy sees this unfold from the outside and looks to get up again, but Hunter and Wolfie intercept and knock him down again.

OMJ: Clappy gets knocked down! He gets up again! You're never gonna take him down! Clappy gets knoc-

Jjs: Can we stop tubthumping for one minute, because Clappy's got up again and he's fighting back!

Clappy decks both Hunter and Wolfie with hard right hooks. He rushes the ring, but Wolfie holds him back. Elastic suddenly charges Wolfie out of nowhere and rams him into one of their flight simulators. They bite, growl and claw at each other while Doc Hunter pulls Clappy away from the ring and rams him into the barricade and lays a few punches in. Clappy's ego protects him and he effortlessly kicks Hunter in the midsection and pulls him in for a Pedogree right onto the concrete floor, flattening his face.

Jjs: CLAPPY WITH THE PEDOGREE ON THAT CHILD ACTOR!

OMJ: Poor kid better get used to that in showbiz!

Clappy storms the ring again right as Hunter pulls his head from the ground.

OMJ: Dear Neptune, that looks like it-

Jjs: Don't say it :glare:

OMJ: But you don't even know-

Jjs: I know you've been wanting to pull it out your ass ever since we first mentioned it :stinkeye:

OMJ: Hertz :troll:

Jjs: Bah GAWD, after that Pedogree, that's a face only ACS's mother could love!

OMJ: And even that's a bit of a stretch!

Hunter goes to crawl over to Clappy again, but Clappy pulls up the ring apron out comes five Baby Sandler's.

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Jjs: How the fuck did they get in here?!

OMJ: I thought I had this place cleared out of this sorta crap five episodes ago?!

Jjs: Well however they got in here, they did, straight from Clappy's Crappy Cinema! I would not want to be Doc Hunter right now!

OMJ: I don't think even ACS wants to be Doc Hunter right now, Jjs!

Jjs: The poor kid recently starred in Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

Grandmaster: For once, you're actually right. Now please piss off with your stalking, gentlemen.

Darris: It took you that long to figure out the obvious now? :roll:

OMJ: Well for one, this is like first major thing he's been in so of course people won't know his ass. Two, for a guy who plasters "Only the weak boast, the humiliated insult" onto his profile, you sure are looking pretty weak and humiliated right now.

Jjs: Well, we all know how Clappy ripped the movie to shreds in it's own topic alone, let alone the Crap Cinema!

OMJ: And whatever Clappy rips to shreds, the Baby Sandler's are sure to follow suit!

Doc Hunter: Wha-What the fuck are they?!

Baby Sandler's: ALRIIIIIIIIGHT!

The Baby Sandler's swarm Doc Hunter and proceed to rip him apart limb from limb, piece by piece.

Clappy: That was for Steve Carrell's career, you brat!

Grandmaster: Well, that was rather unfortunate, gentlemen.

The Baby Sandler's take all the pieces of Doc Hunter they could carry and burrow back underneath the ring. Clappy turns his attention back toward the ring to see The ACS's and Eights about to pull their move on Termi.

Clappy: NOOOOOOOOOO

Termi: Dooooont cry for meeeeeee, next doooooor neighbooooooor

Clappy: OOOOOOOOOO

Termi begins his slow motioned descent down.

Clappy: NOOOOOOEEEENOOOOOEEENOOOOWNOOOOO

Termi gets impaled through the turnbuckle, his internal organs bursting out and his blood leaking out from his body.

Darris: XTMRAAAAAAAGEEEE!!!

Clappy starts to go Rick Grimes crazy in his head, triggering the flashbacks.

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I always thought you'd be here forever

Another illusion I chose to crea-

OMJ: I don't have enough to cover an encore performance, just skip this flashback for now!

Clappy: We were gay, we were happy! We had-

OMJ: We did this already, move it along!

Clappy: This makes my stinkeye stinker :stinkeye:

ACS: Who's up next YA FREAKIN MORONS!

Clappy takes a shovel out from under the ring and firmly grasps it in his hand. Nuggets and Shin both recover and get back up to their feet at ringside. They join Clappy in surrounding the ring.

Jjs: Part Three?

OMJ: Part tres.

Jjs: I'm not editing the wiki page for this :glare:

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Guest Long Timmy

The following program you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein...except maybe every person portrayed herein...

...Anyway, IT'S JUST POSTS!

Episode 20 2: Episode 20 Harder: Zero Darkstar Thirty

THEN

The episode opens up to ACS and AcidicDragon marking a date on the SBM calendar for an "air show" they're planning to conduct from the comfort of their flight simulators.

ACS: Do we have any RSVP's yet?

Acidic: Nah holmes.

ACS: These idiots, they don't know what they're missing!

Acidic: Maybe we should just call it off, ese, especially if it's gonna be just us-

ACS: IT'S NOT GOING TO BE JUST US "ESSAY"! I told you already that I have some of my best men, Task Force 51 on it with us!

Acidic: You mean them Team Rage hombres?

Storm: Can I join TR?

ACS: NO NOT TEAM RAGE, EVERYBODY KNOWS TEAM RAGE IS NO MORE ANYMORE! TF-51 is an organization of ysflight organizations that Team Rage got integrated into.

Acidic: Then why does Team Rage still have their own account here on SBM?

ACS: Because Team Rage is still around, just as a subsidiary of TF-51.

Acidic: So it's not no more?

ACS: OF COURSE IT'S NO MORE BECAUSE WE ARE NOT OFFICIALLY RECOGNIZED BY TF-51 AS OUR OWN INDEPENDENT ORGANIZATION!

Acidic: But you said Team Rage is seen as a subsidiary of TF-51, so they technically do recognize you and your own-

Storm: Can I join TF-51?

ACS: NO NO NO! WRONG WRONG WRONG! You don't know just how fucking wrong you are, so I suggest you just stick a taco in it while you're still not on our list!

Acidic: Just who are these TF-51 guys anyway?

ACS: DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! An elite class of YSFlight pilots. They officially took us at Team Rage, they watch over us, monitoring our activity to prevent anymore power trips on Team Rage's part.

Acidic: So, they're your babysitters trying to keep you immature brats in line?

ACS: NO THEY ARE NOT OUR BABYSITTERS! They're our guardian blue angels, assigned to protect the likes of you from the likes of us. Hell, you all should be feeling lucky and rewarding us with medals for the services we provide here!

Acidic: So is that who this GrandMaster is?

ACS: HAVE SOME GODDAMN RESPECT WHEN EVEN UTTERING THE GRANDMASTER'S NAME OUT LOUD! But yes, he is the commander of the TF-51 fleet, the man we at Team Rage answer to.

Acidic: Horale, sounds real damn reassuring knowing that we have some real pros helping us with this air show.

Storm: Can I join The Grandmaster?

ACS: NO, NOT JUST THEM YOU NINCOMPOOP! We also have The Red Saints assisting us, as well. Consider yourself even luckier to even be in the same webspace as them!

Acidic: Who are the Red Saints?

ACS: CAPITALIZE THE T IN "THE" MOTHERFUCKER! They are the top of the elite, the ones who watch over TF-51 watching over Team Rage. The ones we at TF-51 answer to.

Acidic: Why do you even need some group of other guys watching what you do, and why do the guys watching what you do need to have some other group of guys watching over what they do while watching over what you do? Can't you all just, ya know, not be a bunch of asshats?

Storm: Can I join The Red Saints?

ACS: OF COURSE WE CAN'T NOT BE ASSHATS! Haven't you learned a goddamn thing since I took you under my aircraft wing?! We are at all-out war out there, cadet, and we can't not be asshats because we are waging war against a whole new breed of asshats who need somebody to asshat them in their place! You remember, don't ya? What those...CYBERBULLIES at SBC did when you first joined?

Acidic: Yo holmes, don't go reminding me of that crap.

ACS: THEY TEASED YOU, SLANDERED YOU ALL BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO PRETEND YOU WERE A DRAGON!

Acidic: DONT REMIND ME, GORDO!

ACS: A dragon, cadet. You, you were always a flyboy at heart right from the beginning, which is why I took you in, integrated Team Acidic into my own. I defended you, molded you into the Latino Mays you are today. WE MINECRAFT TOGETHER GODAMMIT! You are like the only closest thing I have to an acquaintance that I can honestly say I have, aside from TF-51 and The Red Saints mind you, don't forget about them! Me and you, and our friends TF-51 and The Red Saints, we can do anything that we wanna do. We have the numbers, we have the technology- you did update your YSFlight right?

Acidic: Si.

ACS: We are gonna change the landscape, by air! Starting with the SpongeBob Community.

Acidic: Si, Si! All the si's in the world mang!

 

My team isn't a real team, it's a joke.

 

Aside from that mistake, everything else is perfect :hysterical:

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Ed Oxenbould (Real name, no gimmicks)

Two Team Rage members fly around the fanfics, 'round the fanfics, 'round the fanfics

Two Team Rage members fly around the wiki, 'round the wiki, 'round the wiki

Nuggets: Guess who's back?

Jjs: Back again?

Clappy: Prince Dork's back

Elastic: Tell his "friends"

Sex: Guess who's back

Hayden: Guess who's coming for dinner

Halibut: Guess who's back

Aya: Guess who's PatBack

Steel: God he's back *hides*

Prez: Guess who isn't playing along with this shit *leaves*

Sauce: omg guess who's back lols

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I've created some monsters, 'cause nobody wants to

see Person no more they want Hawbit, I'm chopped liver (YUM)

well if you want Hawkbit, this is what I'll give ya

a little bit of lard cooked inside a deep fryer

some twinkies that'll attack my heart quicker

Than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital by the doctor when I'm not cooperating

Or when I'm rocking the table while he's operating (me)

You waited this long now so stop debating 'cause I'm back,

I'm off the pill and this site needs hating

You all know Felix got a job in film making

But KD's diabetes is complicating

So SBC won't let me be or let me be me or let me speak

They tried to shut me down on YSF but it feels so empty without ACS

Fillin up the room, just discovered DOOM

Y'all's tomb is gonna be in your classrooms

So get ready cause shit's about to get heavy

I already broke my diet, GO LAUGH A RIOT

Now this looks like a job for me

So everybody defile me

Cause you need a little whine with that cheese

Cause my stomach's so empty without these

I said this looks like a job for me

So everybody defile me

Cause you need a little whine with that cheese

Cause my stomach's so empty without these

Team Rage rapscallion, kid's feeling rebellious

embarrassed his parents still listen to chart artists

Like North Korea, he starts getting reckless

Even Jehovah's Witnesses come over and yell "BITCH!"

A visionary, his psyche is scary

Wants to start a revolution, SpongeBob sites be wary

A rebel, so let him just revel

In the fact that his bullshit's on a whole 'nother level

And it's a disaster, you wait and see, how many of you could write this blasphemy

For you to mock me so religiously, do you want JD to come on xat and ask for me?

Well I'm back na na na na na na na

Dodged your ban and now I'm just gonna

Mr enter in and up under your skin like The Splinter

The bane of your existence, attack you like Sandy during the winter

I'm not interestin, the worst thing since SBC Wrestlin

Infestin right here in your arteries and nestlin

Testing patience "May I have your attention please"

Feel the tense situation soon as Shadow mentions me

There's your 10-2, receiving as well as can be

But our attack can't be taken seriously without proper clearance from Santi

Now this looks like a job for me

So everybody defile me

Cause you need a little whine with that cheese

Cause my stomach's so empty without these

I said this looks like a job for me

So everybody defile me

Cause you need a little whine with that cheese

Cause my stomach's so empty without these

Team Rage this, Team Rage that, it's become the new fad

Everybody wants to get a break of this Kit Kat

Yo JCM, quit dissing Hawkbit

At least he has more personality(s) than that JCMovies lit

And Clappy, you are no master

SBCinema makes me go to sleep until 4 AM faster

OMJ and Jjs, you two should just let it go

No one in their right minds would read your crappy shows

And if you don't, well just give me the signal

And I'll be there with a whole new list of victims

But sometimes the shite just seems like everybody wants to discuss me

That must mean I'm worth discussing, but it's just that I'm disgusting

Tho I'm not the first king of controversy, I am the worst thing since That70s

To tell white lies so compulsively, I'm just making myself more unhealthy

HEY there's a cncept that works, 20 million more little white lies emerge

But no matter how many me's on SBC, it'd be so empty without me

GHKJyTv.jpg The only bomb that needs to be dropped is ssj's spirit bomb on em at SBM

NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH

NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH

NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH

NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH

PLANES!

The finale will be dropping faster than ACS's threats

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The following program you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is not entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein...except maybe *BEEP*...

...Anyway, IT'S JUST POOOOOOSTSTSTSTSTS!

Episode 20 2: This Is TENSE

THEN

The ACS's and Eights are seen barrel rolling all over SBM to some AC/DC or Metallica.

ACS's & Eights: BRUH BRUH BRUH BRUH BRUHH!

They soar past Bad Reviews Halibut, who unfortunately, had some BAD REVIEEEWWWZZZ in store for them.

Halibut: Fags!

Darris: Frags?! Where?!

Darris cried out, breaking away from the pact to avoid any potential enemy fire. They fly over to the Dump, but their BRUH BRUH BRUHing is interrupted by Omair and Lil Hoe.

Omair & Lil Hoe: Faggots!

Felix: Did those faggots just call us faggots?

Darris: They must've noticed the results of that new workout regimen we got going on.

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Darris: We're looking like a bundle of sticks now!

They fly over the shoutbox and Prez proceeds to shout out.

Prez: You sirs, are the most disgruntled group of fags that I've ever had the displeasure of receiving PMs from!

ACS: What the hell is going on here, isn't "fag" supposed to be censored here anyway?

Ssj: Oh you didn't know? Fag has just been unfiltered due to it having a whole new meaning now.

ACS: New meaning? WHAT NEW MEANING?!

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Grandmaster: MAM!

ACS's mother: Yes, hon.

Grandmaster: Bathroom! I've got some bricks to shit!

ACS's mother: Right away, hon.

SpongeSeb: Meanwhile, in the Team of Rage's Lair!

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ACS: THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT! We'll get one cheese pizza, one with pepperoni and mushrooms, and one with olives!

ACS says, finishing jotting down their pizza orders.

Wolfie: Sounds good both ways to me.

Grandmaster: Now onto the next order of business, gentlemen. What do we want all want from McDonalds?

SpongeSeb: Meanwhile, later in the Team of Rage's Lair.

Grandmaster: THAT'S IT! I THINK I GOT EM ALL! Three large number four's, six Big Macs on the side, five double quarter pounders with cheese and extra onions, eight McRibs if they are indeed back, four McFlurry's, two dozen cookies and a couple of happy meals for the lads. Now, what will the rest of you be having?

SpongeSeb: Meanwhile, much later in the Team of Rage's Lair...

Doc Hunter: I don't want a kids meal, I want a Big Mac.

Grandmaster: Gentleman, the Big Mac is much too big for you-

Doc Hunter: I was in a big movie production, so I want a Big Mac!

SpongeSeb: Ughhh...

MR-117: How is that Big Mac, Doc Hunter ;)

Doc Hunter: It's not big enough, I think I'll be able to finish three of them.

ACS: Alright then-

Doc Hunter: MAKE IT FIVE!

ACS: Onto the next part of our agenda, gentlemen, those meddlesome asshats at SBC!

They all hiss and spit out some food at the mere utterance of that site's name.

Grandmaster: Those gosh darn rapscallions at SBC. They just couldn't leave well enough alone. They're slandering our good Rage/TF-51/Saints names with their hateful fan fics! I've made damn good on my word to not bother them, but these writings and haphazard use of our public image is giving us an even worse public image than before! And I didn't even think that was entirely possible! Any suggestions for our next course of action, gentlemen?!

Darris: I say we hijack a plane and fly it straight into the arena!

ACS's & Eights: YEAH!

ACS: But wouldn't we go down along with it?

ACS's & Eights: YEAH!

ACS: Look, I may be stupid enough to do something like that, but WE, all of you right here, should not be stupid enough to do something like that. I have to at least make it the least bit believable that we all don't share the same mind(set).

Felix: Hmmmm, I'd get an ice cream!

[picture of ACS and company leaving bikini bottom ice cream shop with ice cream]

ACS: Not a bad plan so far for once, Felix! What should we do now?

Felix: Hmmmm...

[picture of them leaving the ice cream shop again]

ACS: Have you ever heard the saying, lightning never strikes twice?

JD: No, but that sounds like a saying that we should plaster all over our profile but never follow.

ACS: You got that right, because lightning has just struck AGAIN!

Grandmaster: Gentlemen, I think a better solution to this tense situation would involve something else. Something with FLIGHT SIMULATORS!

Grandmaster hands them all the recent updates to their flight simulations and they wet themselves a little inside (their pants).

Doc Hunter: We could also just try to forget the bloomin place and just pay them no mind like we've been saying we're doing but obviously have not. We can be the bigger men not only on the outside, but on the inside as well-

ACS: Didn't you hear the gentle man, ya FREAKIN MORON? Flight simulators!

Wolfie: Flight Simulators! AAAOOOOOOOHHHHH!

Wolfie howls at the moon from his flight simulator.

Felix: Flight Simula-ciones!

JD: FLIGHTSIMATORLUATORS!

JD yells out, head banging his jeri curls like the rockstar he looks like, apparently.

KD: Flight See-you-laters!

KD shouts before taking off in his flight simulator.

ACS: But guys, one more thing! We still need to hit up the Burger King drive thru.

Grandmaster: How could you gentlemen forget about our liege?!

They all get in Felix's van, but JD refuses to get inside.

JD: No way, I'm not getting into a motor vehicle with Felix behind the wheel, fuckas.

ACS: If they had fly thrus, we'd hit that thing up harder than Clappy in the xat, but right now, this is all we got!

JD: I told you what I'd do if you ever try and get me inside a car with Felix again.

The Grandmaster sneaks an injection of Insulin in the back of JD's jeri curls.

JD: Don't make me...rage all...over you...

JD slumps down into ACS's arms and stuff him in the trunk.

Grandmaster: I love it when the grandmaster plan comes together.

SpongeSebastian: In 2013, a cracked up flight simulator unit were banned from a SpongeBob forum by the SBC Court for a crime they refuse to believe they commit. These men promptly ran with their tails between their legs to the SpongeBuddy underground. Today, still ignorant as ever, they survive as rebels against cyber bullies. If you have problems, if the mods won't help, and if you actually take the time to find them, or worse, if they find you first, maybe you'd be on the list of

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NOW

Clappy takes a shovel out from under the ring and firmly grasps it in his hand. Nuggets and Shin both recover and get back up to their feet at ringside. They join Clappy in surrounding the ring.

Rev up those Fryers: Cool buildup. Much suspense.

Jjs: Great, you're Doge now?

The three members of DX storm the ring. Clappy knocks the jeri out of Darris' curls using his trusty shovel, Nuggets gets back at ACS with a black power fist, fisting him all the way to the outside, while Shin just rolls the down and out on his luck Felix the fuck out of there. This leaves only MR-17 at their mercy.

MR-17: Come on assholes! At least kill me with some honor!

Clappy, Shin and Nuggets move in on him.

MR-17: NO WAIT STOP! God, so this is how it feels like being outnumbered 3-to-1.

Nuggets: You could at least give us the honor by dying with an inch of honor.

Shin: How you doin bic boi? You say you're Korean? Well lets put that to the test, shall we?

Jjs: What do you think Shin's possibly got planned here?

Crushing: Hopefully something that doesn't bore me mang.

Grandmaster: He's got nothing planned, because like the rest of you gentlemen, you SBCers never have a well thought out plan laid out. Like your plans for Oceans or for the teams or your biggest planned failure of all, SBU. Your feeble little minds think about the now and always in the moment, but you never account for the longterm ramifications of plans as such. Which is why they all almost always take a complete 360 turnaround and nose dive right into your freakin faces. And while that may be the figurative way of interpret that, if you all have the attention span to interpret anything at all, it will soon be very literal once we at Task Force 51 wipe you pretentious, little gnats off the face of the World Wide Web. And do you know why?

OMJ: Can I have another hint?

Grandmaster: IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE A COMMUNITY OF FAILURE! And you're continuously run into the ground by failures, who are presiding over hundreds of other failures in a pathetic, low brow attempt to be anything more than failures, but you're all too full of fail and pride that you actually see yourselves as anything but failures! Like blind leading the blind! And when one failure of a leader wises up and hands over the reigns, all hope is crushed when said reigns are handed over to yet another failure who rises downward in an endless cycle of failure! More failed attempts at innovation, more failed attempts at drumming any scrap of activity you can possibly fail to muster up that even your own failures call you out on it!

Crushing: You're right there, but that's not entirely the truth.

Grandmaster: So before you go on planning your little get wrecked quick schemes, please, gentlemen, take into account all the failure that took place prior and the copious amount of failure that surely is to come as a result of said upcoming failure, YOU FREAKIN FAILUUUUURREEEES!

Jjs: Who the Davy Jones came into your Bran Flakes this morning?

OMJ: Needless to say, Jjs, it was probably the Branmaster himself.

Jjs: Also needless to say, Shin appears to be wheeling an arcade machine into the ring!

OMJ: Not just any arcade machine, Jjs, why it's DDR!

Jjs: We all know how ACS can be a smidge more agile within the cramped confines of his flight simulators and mother's basement, but will he be able to bring that sort of balance and poise onto the dance simulator floor?!

OMJ: Lets get back down on the dance floor and find out for ourselves!

Shin: You call yourself a Korean? Well lets see just how Korean you are cuz every K-brotha wants the D...DR!

ev6jL6v.jpg

MR: You wanna see how Korean I am? I'll show you how fuckin Korean I am! I'm more Korean than you AND Kevin combined, and that lil slut is Vietnamese by trade! Lets do this, I gotchu potgai!

Jjs: The challenge has been accepted and both combatants have taken their respective positions on the dance board! Tonight, the Korean War begins anew!

Shin: I hope you don't mind if I set the difficulty on HEAVY

MR: Potgai, I'm more than heavy!

Jjs: And here, once again, to post art and lead us into tonight's musical number (and she's all out of art), the sensational She-shin!

OMJ: Try saying that five time fast!

She-shin comes out to the stage with a microphone in hand, the song for the dance battle of the Koreans begins to play.

She-shin: OOOH! OOOH! SHIIIN!

Shin: I think I'm cut

I wear shag carpets

I sport the suits that were all marked down

I got the memes

I always post em

I send trills

Up and down their spine

I'm just an Asian boy!

She-shin: ASIAN BOYYYY

Shin: I'm not your boy toy!

She-shin: BOYYYY TOYYYY

Shin: I'm just an Asian Boy

She-shin: ASIAN BOYYYY

Shin: I'm not your boy toy!

She-shin: Boy Toy!

Shin: But like a kendama, you can bounce my balls in your cups anytime!

Jjs: It appears MR is already getting less than Perfect scores compared to his southern counterpart, who has connected with a 100+ combo!

OMJ: I can only see it going more down south from here, Jjs!

Shin: I make them hot

I make them shiver

Like with ginseng

I make them all aroused

They see my pic

They wanna lick

Mandythepharmacist wants my aesthedick

I'm just an Asian boy!

She-shin: ASIAN BOYYYY

Shin: I'm not your boy toy!

She-shin: BOYYYY TOYYYY

Shin: I'm just an Asian Boy

She-shin: ASIAN BOYYYY

Shin: I'm not your boy toy!

She-shin: Boy Toy!

Shin: Eat your heart out, girls! Hands off the mer-shin-dise!

Jjs: Shin's groovin off the charts while MR is pleading for a restart! Shin could be tuning up the band here!

OMJ: And once Shin starts tuning, you best get to moving!

Shin proceeds to right arrow his leg MR's way and superkicks MR's head clean off and soaring into one of the spotlights above the ring.

OMJ: SWEET SHIN MUSIC CONNECTS!

Jjs: WITH ABSOLUTE AUTHORITY!

Grandmaster: What this is, gentleman, is absolute balderdash and you know it!

OMJ: You best eat your balls while they're still salty, GM.

Grandmaster: I don't have to, they'll do it for me!

ACS, Felix and Darris rage quit DDR and proceed to tip the machine up over on Shin while he was still celebrating, crushing him underneath. Blood trails out from underneath the machine as Team Rage spank each other on a job well done.

OMJ: Shin always used to kill it on DDR, now it seems that DDR has turned over and killed him!

Clappy: You monsters! You lifeless monsters!! Who do you fat bastards think you are?!

Darris: Well, if you really wanna get a good look beyond the veil, then prepare for trouble!

ACS: And Clappy, you of all people should know to make it double!

Darris: To protect the world wide web from devastation.

ACS: To unite all user's within our nation.

Darris: To denounce the evils of truth and love!

ACS: To extend our reach to the stars above!

Darris: JD!

ACS: Allen James!

Darris: Team Rage, so piss off at the speed of light!

ACS: Surrender now or update your YSFlight!

Felix: Madcat! That's right!

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Nuggets: Well you sure are doing a good job at denouncing the truth, I can give you that much.

Meanwhile, back outside the ring Wolfie manages to escape from Elastic's chomps and into his flight simulator.

Wolfie: Screw this you crazy female dog, I'm 10-19ing outta here!

Elastic: Returning to base so soon? Yeah, that's right. Think you're the only one here who can speak trucker too, BITCH? Well guess what, I WON'T ALLOW IT!

Elastic hops inside one of the other parked flight simulations and gives chase to Wolfie all around the arena.

Jjs: I can't believe it! A literal dog fight has just broken out in Deathmatch airways!

While Elastic and Wolfie duke it out in the skies, Clappy and Nuggets proceed to engage Team Rage in the ring. Elastic and Wolfie take shots at each other but they only end up hitting guests in the audience.

Jjs: Bah gawd, Jenk! They're wiping out members of our live audience!

OMJ: Whats the big deal? It's not like they're actual "members" here anyway.

Jjs: True, true.

Wolfie has Elastic right in his crosshairs.

Wolfie: I have you now.

But Elastic barrels back behind Wolfie.

Elastic: With Yiannis gone, I need somebody to fuck up the ass, so why not let it be you! I MALAYSIA ASS OUT! ...No? Okay.

Elastic proceeds to unload everything he has onto Wolfie's tail end and blows him out of the sky.

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Wolfie tries to eject himself from his simulator but his ejector seat can't propel his fat ass up out of there.

Wolfie: Payday! Payday! I'm going down, HARD!

Wolfie's flight simulation crashes and burns into even more of the audience with him still inside.

Grandmaster: A can of corn, a can of corn and I'll be fine. A can of corn, MAM!

ACS's mother: Coming, my lil rebel.

Jjs: Elastic has done it, he's avenged his brother in arm's untimely demise, but one question still remains!

OMJ: Whats that, Jjs?

Jjs: Just how in Neptune's name is he gonna land that thing?!

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The following program you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is not entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein...except maybe *BEEP*...

...Anyway, IT'S JUST POOOOOOSTSTSTSTSTS!

The ACSaga: ACS & Me Could Write a Bad Romance

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Santi: Hi, I'm Sarah McLachlan. Better known as Santi from the Red Saints. Please say you'll be the answer to the questionable mental health of this innocent boy right now, a boy who needs help. Please, like his posts on SBM or sign up to be considered for a TR membership with a monthly gift, a period, right now. You could save this boy from his abusers as well as provide food, comfort psyciatric evaluation and most of all, love. Join the IAVA forum online in the next thirty days, and we'll send you a photo of one of his personalities and you'll have your first period, free. This is your chance to say, "I won't sit by while ACS suffers." Please, update YSFlight online and be ACS's friend today.

The scene pops back to the deathmatch in progress.

Jjs: It appears the latest feedback to this season's finale has just come in, Jenkins!

OMJ: How do the ratings look, Jjs?

Jjs: Pretty mixed, actually. With just two likes, some say it was great, some say it didn't feel like good ole fashioned deathmatch!

OMJ: Didn't feel like goodolefashioneddeathmat- Mang, what do you mean it didn't feel like "good ole fuckin fashioned deathmatch"?!

Jjs: I don't know, it was pretty vague. Maybe they want more deaths?

OMJ: The last part had like three confirmed deaths alone! What more could they had possibly wanted?! I gave them deaths, the showtunes, I installed the comfy chairs, I rubbed their putrid egos! They're lucky I didn't gave them a goddamn Stallone/Schwarzennegger finish where Stallone won by a fucking count out! A big money deathmatch that ends by a count out, how the fuck does that even compute?! Oh, I'm sorry sir, sorry that my writing ain't killing it enough sir! Sorry it aint mature or intelligent enough for your needs, sir high and mighty! Sorry I ain't no Clappy or Cha or SpongeBuddies who are all much more pleasures read stuff from sir! I mean, look at Crushing! He's sleeping!

Crushing: zzzzz...zzzzz

Jjs: But he's always tired.

OMJ: Viewers at home probs sitting on their computer chairs with their asses laying firmly on top of a pillow to help dull the butthurt that's about to transpire or to help with the sticks that have been planted firmly up their asses, reading this as uncomfortable as they possibly can be...sorry. I'm sorry I'm not a goddamn sheep that'll drop to they knees, kiss your royal ass and do everything you do just to feel like they're ahead of the curve like some hipsters with the most crotch killingest jeans in existence. Sharp and edgy enough to cut cardboard with, in that case they can just go right ahead and cut their personality into something that isn't so self-deprecating to my eyes. For whatever good dat gets them, if they like my sloppy seconds, then like always they can have it cuz I was first and I'll always be first. I'm number one and done! So fuck this, fuck everything, that shit is over! I ain't playing no goddamn assk thread politics, I don't do it for the likes and all dat bullshrimp (altho it's a nice bonus), I do it to crack a few laughs and hopefully get a friendly convo going. Apologies if I don't stroke anybody's egos enough, sorry if what I write isn't good and/or juicy, sorry if I don't roll out the red carpet every waking moment I'm logged in as much as most people . But then, I really shouldn't, I've been told. So yeah, I'm not. It really makes me question just where the hell "oh, it's fun just because we's together" and the idea that ask threads are more than just simple ask threads and that they really bring people together to just hang have gone all of a sudden. And people wonder why Jenkins-senpai never notices them as of late, because when Jenkins-senpai gets to noticin', he gets heat for it not being good or juicy enough, it's not intellectual, it ain't crap is what I'm trying to get at which is funny considering all the crap I see from most everyone else. Maybe I should start watching crappy anime too, that sounds intelligent and juicy enough. Perhaps roleplay it out for all to either see and bat their fake eyelashes at too or follow the shepherd because "uhduuuhrrr, I have no personality of my own, no wonder why I'm not on this show!", sounds good huh?! Like what I'm about to start saying, "If you can't do anything worth the time, don't even try...me..." Which reminds me, just where oh where are my wwe ice cream bars questions that make me feel thread entitled? I don't need dat shit because I'm an old man of simple tastes, these people are taking time outta their days to talk to me, something my own real life friends hardly do, I take what I'm given in stride and pride. But this right here is Community Deathmatch, a shatire (oh hey Boomeraaaang, how are ya. Yeah, only crushing knows who's that), one of the reasons spin-offs are DEAD, you ain't havin none of dat shit here! Only overtly violent conflict resolutions.

OMJ takes off his headset and leaves the broadcast booth.

Jjs: Jenkins, what do you think you're doing man?!

OMJ: I am the best in the community. And when I say that, I mean on the game forum, on the top posters list, on the most liked list, writing behind this touchpad keyboard, on the staff, even in the riffing theater! Nobody can touch me, nobody! Others could try and imitate me all they want, but they know as well as I that they'll always, simply be second best. These Team Rage fags wanna cum at me, these teasin punk asses want more of the edgy, blurred lines that can only come from the Deathmatch Arena and not Robin Thicke, well by Neptune I'm gonna make em choke on all of it! This show's all I fuckin have anymore, Jjs. There's no place for me here anymore or on any other site besides right here in this booth! The only reason we've had so much publicity lately is because of that fat lard threatening World War III! Well the pipe bombs have gone off, hell, this entire show is an atomic bomb waiting to be blown out of proportion. And if you're close to bawling your brains out, then lemme refocus your attention, since like 70% of you have some sorta deficit order (myself included, maybe, idk, I'll just throw my name in it too), to the big, bold lettering at the top and wipe those tears. Because I shoot to work for a livin, your Old Man still loves ya! Maybe. Idk.

TripsFan.jpg

OMJ: If shit's goin down, I'm takin a shit down with me! Those posers think they can do ACS? Nobody does ACS dirty like your old man so I'll be the one doing him in tonight!

Clappy: Typical, OMJ gets all the glory and I come off as an egotistical cotton-headed ninnymuggins who has a glaring glaring problem :glare:

Jjs: Jenkins, don't be a goddamn hero!

OMJ: Get your lips off my ass and back on the mic, Jjs!

Grandmaster: It appears somebody received their free monthly gift.

Jjs: Well, I went off the deep end last time, I guess this season is OMJ's turn.

Grandmaster: And we call ourselves Team Rage...

In the ring, Team Rage engages Clappy and Nuggets in mortal combat while Elastic is still struggling to figure out how to land that flight simulator.

Elastic: Who's leg do I have to hump to get a landing simulator in this bitch?!

Darris and Felix hammer away on Nuggets while ACS and Clappy go blow for blow. Nuggets manages to hold his own in the two on one assault and knocks Felix away before gut punching Darris into a corner and unloads more mercilessly on him. Darris slumps down as Felix comes running back and clocks Nuggets from behind, but Nuggets shakes it off like Taylor Swift, grabs a battery from his pocket and downs the entire thing in one gulp.

Jjs: Nuggets just ate out the D battery like it was yesterday's garbage!

Grandmaster: Freakin moron! He just killed himself doing that!

Jjs: Well that just goes to show how much you really know, "all-seeing Grandmaster".

Nuggets blocks Felix's Fury Swipes, picks him up and slams him down to the mat with a Modified Powerbomb.

Jjs: Nuggets just executed a newly modified powerbomb! Idiot Box would not be happy to see that one bit when he gets back!

Clappy and ACS engage in a slap battle (of history).

ACS: You slap like a girl!

ACS says before smacking Claps across the face.

Clappy: The People from Always would like a word with your sexist ass.

Clappy retorts before slapping the taste out of ACS's mouth.

Jjs: Clappy thunderously slapping the ever loving taste out of ACS's mouth. ACS will not be happy about that one bit the next time he downs a box of twinkies!

Grandmaster: It'll save him from OdysseyMaster's Swiss cheese, thankfully.

Jjs: Grandmaster, OdysseyMaster, are there any other "masters" I should know about?

KingWishmaster: Gentleman. mrzl7If.jpg

Jjs: That's it get outta here :okay:

ACS tries to come back with a fist this time, but Clappy ducks it, kicks ACS in the stomach and drives him face-first into the mat with a Pedegree.

Jjs: Get it? Cuz he went to college.

Grandmaster: A fellow scholar, eh what? Color me rather surprised.

Jjs: It takes more than a monocle, a top hat and saying "gentlemen" all the time to pretend to have a college education.

OMJ makes his way to the ring, "Personal Jesus" by Marilyn Manson playing him off.

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Jjs: And there's OMJ! The Goddamn Hero, himself, making his way to the ring with his goddamn cape in tow!

Darris: Ah shit, excuse me for a sec.

Darris slaps on some make up, straightens and dyes his hair black and begins to perform OMJ's theme.

Jjs: Oh yeah, he's Marilyn Manson apparently.

Grandmaster: At first glance, you would never take him to be such an aviating virtuoso.

Darris comes out of his corner and wails on Nuggets, who simply whips him over to Clappy, but OMJ finally enters the ring and connects with a Hawaiian Superman Punch.

Nuggets: BrOMJ, nice timing!

Clappy: I believe you intercepted my kil- :glare:

OMJ picks Felix up and tosses him towards Clappy.

OMJ: Well, look alive!

Clappy hastily catches Felix in midair and nails him with a spinebuster. Clappy and OMJ go nose to nose now. OMJ sizes ACS up for a spear, but Clappy and Nugs intercept and halt him.

Clappy: If anybody's gonna finish off ACS, I think it's gotta be me. :glare:

Nugs: Why you? He's had it coming at my hands for the longest time.

OMJ: That explains the dried cum. :stinkeye:

Clappy: Because we have the longest, storied, most volatile history together. It's only poetic justice that I do him in. :glare:

Nugs: That fat cat's been assaulting me whenever I go in chat for as long as I can remember! :stinkeye:

Jjs: They're all ACS, you dunderheads! Just kill em all!

Clappy: Welcome to the club. Welcome to the club. Welcome Nuggets, Welcome Nuggets, Welcome Nuggets, Welcome Nugg- :glare:

OMJ runs down ACS with a big a clothesline while Clappy was distracted welcoming Nuggets to his club. Clappy and Nuggets pulls OMJ and throws him in the corner before he could finish him. Clappy and Nuggets take turns trading shots at ACS until Clappy clocks Nuggets out of the way out of nowhere. Clappy kicks ACS in the gut and goes for the Pedegree, but Jenkins runs in and clotheslines him as well. OMJ turns around right into Nugget's zone and gets planted with his signature Knock You Down. Team Rage recuperates amidst the chaos, allowing ACS to blindside Nuggets with a hard right link to his chatzy while Felix and Darris work over Clappy and OMJ's downed bodies.

Jjs: Those idiots are letting ACS win!

Grandmaster: The keyword in that being "idiots".

Felix and Darris pick both Clappy and OMJ up to their feet and proceed to throw them into one another, literally butting heads and busting open both their shits. ACS locks Nuggets down to the mat and Barrel Rolls him around the ring, disorienting SBC's token black man.

Jjs: Team Rage proving to be more cohesive than I give them credit for by busting both Clappy and OMJ's shits while ACS wears Nuggets out like a yellow-striped sweater! Anymore of those glorified gator rolls, and he might just rip Nuggets open at the seams with his...rolls!

Grandmaster: ACS is a master strategist who knows just how to target an opponent and pick away at him until they're reduced to nothing but mere scraps, and even then, he picks away at those too.

Jjs: Yes, all those years of picky eating has finally come in handy here tonight!

Felix lays some fury swipes into OMJ on the mat and lays him in face first on the corner turnbuckle. Felix goes under the ring and pulls out a Chicago piano and takes aim at the old man.

Jjs: Felix, showing some shades of his stint on the Bonnie & Clyde miniseries even though he posted the date of the photo taken months after the show wrapped up on television like the idiot ACS tries to take us for but really is, himself!

Felix takes the shots, but OMJ pulls himself up to the top rope, moonsaults off and lands a reverse DDT onto Felix. At the same time, Darris takes Clappy down with a Nosedive Driver, but Clappy hops back up to his feet. Darris pulls Clappy back in and Nosedives a second time, but Clappy gets back up again. Darris Nosedives for the charming third time and follows it up by taking out his tattoo kit and literally tries to lay some ink onto Clappy.

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Jjs: Big difference from how he last looked, isn't it?

Grandmaster: We here at TR/TF-51 tend to age faster than most people due to prolonged exposures inside flight simulators. Myself and KD being prime examples, thank you very much for doing your research.

Jjs: You're the last person to be telling us how to do our research.

Darris tries to brand Clappy by tattooing the TR insignia right on his heart, but Clappy grabs hold of the iron with one hand and they struggle for control of it for a while until OMJ's previously mentioned reverse ddt distracts Darris for a hot second because everything concerning one personality has to matter to the others, allowing Clappy to take advantage and jabs the tattoo iron right into Darris' right eye.

Darris: AAAHHHH!!!

Jjs: Now that's a whole 'nother way to give somebody a black eye!

ACS gets distracted by this as well and goes to his own aid.

Nuggets: Did he just say...give somebody a black guy? RAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

This incites Nugget's black rage, allowing him to transform by growing a weave and a monkey's tail. The world around them trembles as the arena floor creaks, the roof leaks, there's a terrible draft as hurrican force winds blows all around Nuggets as he powers up.

Grandmaster: What the devil is afoot here?!

Jjs: Either those d batteries are passing through Nugget's system or we're dealing with one angry black man!

Now gifted with the speed of a running Kenyan, Nuggets sprints his way towards Darris, quickly bypassing a still pacing ACS. Nuggets grabs Darris by his ear gage and proceeds to whip him into the ring mat repeatedly before flinging his ear hole around the corner turnbuckle like a horseshoe, the whiplash causing his ear to tear right off his head.

ACS: Wh-What are you, ya moron?!

Nuggets: My name is Aquatic Nuggets, I'm kinda like a big deal, the token black guy of the SpongeBob Community.

Nuggets powers up some more, his mere presence causing unrest and destruction in the white community.

Wolf Blitzer: This just in the Situation Room! We stand by as a nation is literally divided by a one man riot that has broken out in the little known community of SpongeBob that appears to be racially motivated.

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Wolf Blitzer: The instigator is believed to be a 16 year-old black male for reasons we don't quite know or understand at this time. Many have speculated it to be a direct response to increasing mod brutality, but a credible source from inside SpongeBob tells us that there was a recent shift in power that saw a 17 year-old white male usurp directorial power from the 16 year-old black male in question. This all coming off the heels of nuclear threats made by North Korea towards SpongeBob for portraying its leader in a negative light by comparing him to ACSBehemothHellcat, the leader of radical (in no sense of the term) gaming group, Team Rage. We've also received conflicting reports over pipe bombs going off, supposedly by the rioter, himself, and we've even received word that an atomic bomb was dropped on the community's populace as well. We do know one thing for sure, all eyes are on the SpongeBob community right now.

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Bill O'Reilly: Now I just received word that the entire nation is literally being torn apart at the seams due in large part to a one black man riot that is taking place as we speak in SpongeBob. The rioter's name, I've just learned, is 16 year-old Atlanta, Georgia resident, Nuggets, who's first name I suspect to be Chicken. And many are speculating that he's acting out due to mod brutality in response to them forcefully booting him out of office and replacing him with a white guy. The truth of the matter is, Chicken Nuggets is having sour grapes, note the subtle racism there, over having his inept administration fairly voted out of office for someone who has legitimate longevity, experience and was born with the skin color for the job and not by the "unfortunate" means of some "accident" in order to tide over conservative voters. My next guest was a guest at the SpongeBob community who says she has had past similar transgressions with Chicken Nuggets just two years ago. Now please tell me and all of white middle-class America just why you got kicked out of SpongeBob, you have the floor.

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Meg: Because nigger.

Bill O'Reilly: Now let me just interrupt you there!

After about 5 minutes of reading all that in DBZ time, Nuggets finishes his transformation.

Nuggets: Jesus walks among you today, children. You really want to know what I am, quite simply put, I AM A GOD!

Jjs: Dear Neptune below! Nuggets has broken the 2 chains of discrimination and segregation and has ascended beyond, going where no black man has gone before him!

Grandmaster: Season 3?

Jjs: No! He's become a Super Token! 1377.jpg

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Nuggets football tackles ACS to the mat and proceeds to rap and dance and use words that he don't really know. Nuggets looks to finish ACS off, but gets cut off by Clappy, who tries to bury Nuggets, but Nuggets takes hold of the shovel and plants Clappy down with a Gold Digger straight to the outside. Before Nuggets could refocus on ACS, he gets run down by Old Man Jenkins in his jalopy. OMJ puts the jalopy in reverse and backs into ACS, who is stuck cowering in the corner. A black flash appears in front of ACS and it turns out to be Nuggets, holding the jalopy at bay with his sheer black rage.

Nuggets: You pull a hit and run on a black man and think you can get away with it? There won't be silence, my voice will be hearrrrrrrd!

Nuggets screams, powers up and riots, pulling a successful drive-by on the jalopy effortlessly into the opposite corner before firing up a molotov and setting the jalopy ablaze with Jenkins inside. Jenkins kicks the driver side door down, his upper body covered in flames.

Grandmaster: Nuggets raises his black power and his voice to bring some new meaning to Hot Hawaiian Nights!

ACS lays some hard punches to the back of Nugget's head as his back was turned. Nuggets comes back and returns the favor with some punches to ACS's face. Nuggets throws ACS out of the corner as OMJ comes firing back with a spear, but ACS dodge rolls out of the way and OMJ charges right into Nuggets.

Jjs: OMJ literally tries to fire back, but ACS tucks it between his legs, causing OMJ to damn near break Nuggets right in half! Accidental or intentional, Nuggets must be in a pretty bad way right now!

ACS grabs and takes OMJ to ground, barrel rolling him around the ring now, but only seems to put the fire out on OMJ and stops when he realizes it. ACS grabs OMJ by the head and lifts him off the ground, repeatedly chodebombing into the ground.

ACS: You started this thing, and you're damn sure gonna be the end of it!

ACS moves in for the kill, but Elastic dives in from inside his flight simulator right towards ACS.

Elastic: Let him go, you 500 lb. Menace II Society!

Nuggets: Damn it all, I wanted to say that!

ACS throws OMJ to the side and takes Elastic's kamikaze verbal attack head on. The ring is engulfed by the ensuing explosion.

Jjs: Elastic just mounted a suicidal aerial assault on ACS!

Grandmaster: And people say Team Rage are the masters of forum suicide.

A figure emerges from the simulation wreckage

ACS: You think you can kill me with my own simulation, ya freakin moron?!

ACS pulls Felix up to his feet and slaps him in the face.

ACS: FELIX, GET THE LINKS!

Felix goes under the ring, pulls a couple of links out and posts them up in the ring.

http://crazybobs.wikia.com/wiki/Blackwater_Security

http://crazybobs.wikia.com/wiki/Team_Rage-Task_Force_51

ACS and Darris wait for Nuggets to get up to his feet, sizing him up for a J-D into the links. Darris hoists Nuggets up, but before ACS to capitalize, Elastic emerges from the simulation rubble and knocks him aside, grabbing and pulling Nuggets out of Darris' grasp. He sets Nuggets down and pulls out a hatchet.

Jjs: Dear Neptune, there is no putting that elastic dog down!

Grandmaster: Oh just contract rabies and get put down already!

Darris, confused as to why he Nuggets didn't get sent through the link, turns around to an ear full of hatchet, clipping off his other ear gage.

Darris: My other ear! Now I won't be able to listen to Odysseus' angelic voice!

Elastic: I was saving this for Yianni and me's honeymoon! When I chop, I aim well and don't miss. But I'll sure as hell make you all drip.

Elastic carves into Darris all violent and shit. Felix tries to butt in, but he gets put in the ICU for his troubles. ACS charges Elastic from behind, but Nuggets grabs him and ties him into knots such as The Monkey Chain, The Monkey's Fist and The Monkey. OMJ tries to get back in on the action, but Clappy pulls him outside and clocks him before heading back in himself. OMJ quickly grabs hold of him and throws Clappy into the security barrier. They get into each other's faces.

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Clappy: This kill's mine, I won't let you take it from me! :glare:

OMJ: You're gonna have to get through me first, Booby, and we all know your track record when it comes to that. :laugh:

Clappy: You sunamagun! :stinkeye:

Clappy tackles OMJ and shoves him back-first into the ring apron before throwing him shoulder-first into the security wall. Clappy stomps all over OMJ like on the yard until OMJ catches one of his boots, twists his ankle and takes Clappy to the ground. OMJ applies an ankle lock and violently knocks Clappy's knee into the ground repeatedly before laying a vicious stomp of his own to the back of that same knee. Clappy manages to roll off his stomach, onto his back and boots OMJ right in the face, knocking the old man over the security wall and into the crowd of guests. Clappy hobbles to his feet, scales the security wall himself and takes the fight back to OMJ through the audience. Clappy clubs OMJ in the face, causing OMJ to retreat for the exit. Clappy gives chase but OMJ surprises him with a discus forearm shot to the nose. This sends Clappy reeling back into the arms of the guests, who hold Clappy in place for OMJ to layeth some smackethdown on him.

Jjs: Is this srsly happening right now?! A dream deathmatch happening in the middle of another?!

Grandmaster: Deathmatch-ception.

OMJ unleashes a flurry of stiff kicks and looks to finish the combo by winding up for The BKM, but Clappy uses his longer leg reach to his advantage by kicking OMJ before he could connect and powers out of the guests' grip. OMJ comes charging back but Clappy sidesteps out of the way, sending OMJ flying into the guests himself. They hold OMJ for Clappy now to do with as he please.

Clappy: Now, could whip up some of your photoshop razzle dazzle for my new SBCinema, friend? :funny:

OMJ: NO!

Clappy slaps him once.

Clappy: How about now? :funny:

OMJ: NO!

Clappy slaps him twice

Clappy: Now? :funny:

OMJ: NO!

Clappy: Three bops this time :funny:

Clappy bops him one three more times.

Jjs: Clappy sure wants OMJ to show him some pics or it looks like he will personally make sure that Jenkins gtfo!

Back in the ring, Nuggets posts a link of his own in the ring now.

Nuggets: The ways I sees it, you have one of two options, ACS: Read...

http://www.thesbcommunity.com/forums/index.php?/topic/9542-doody-era/

Nuggets: or DIE?

ACS: ...Whats the difference?

Nuggets slaps some dried cum off his hands in preparation, proceeding to then wring Team Rage from the the prodigious hilltops of Portsmouth, New Hampshire, the mighty mountains of Horseheads, New York, Sex's restaurant in PA, the snow-capped voice of Seb of Colorado, the curvaceous slopes of SauceCalifornia, the Stone Mountain of his home state Georgia, the Exchange Student of Tennessee, and every hill and mole hill of Mississippi because thats all that state has, except maybe the river.

Nuggets: Free at last, free at last! Thank Neptune almighty, we are-

???: STOP!

Jjs: Cried the main admin!

70s emerges from the entrance ramp and enters the ring, stopping Nuggets from finishing Team Rage off.

70s: If we are to truly defeat our adversaries here today, bloodshed will not be the answer. I mean, what has all these years of fighting senselessly gotten us? Nothing, that's what.

Jjs: 70s seems to be reassuming his role as peacekeeper between SBC-TR relations!

Grandmaster: Hey, that's my job!

70s: Without peace, we will continue to fight for nothing and more senseless death in the name of bad literature will reign supreme over us all, firmly grasping the community in its death grip! Which is why I propose a treaty for peace here tonight to put an end to it all once and for all!

Jjs: It's been well about three years since 70s has proposed one of these, only here on deathmatch!

70s helps ACS to his feet and shakes his hand.

70s: I'm not just gonna sit on my ass and watch this shit unfold from my ivory Glee forum anymore! This shit ends here! I, too, know the feels of having to hide behind a facade to help compensate for what I lacked in my real life. And I also know the feels of being mocked and demeaned for it. But whereas I eventually came to peace with myself, it takes a real sad, pathetic, sackless, tub of lard to try and keep the charade up for almost four years.

ACS drops to his knees in pain as 70s squeezes his hand with all his might. 70s reveals he is wearing a mask and takes it off.

Tvguy: It was me ACS! It was me all along, ACS! :whitney:

Jjs: Bah gawd almighty, 70s "return" was only just an innovation of tvguy this whole time!

Grandmaster: Well it takes a real loser to pose as a real loser. Not that, I would know, of course.

Tvguy: Now do us all a favor and drop dead off the face of the world wide web and put all your time and effort into a lil something I like to call a "life", if you have one!

ACS faints from the pain that Tyguy was inflicting, or his diabeetus, prompting Felix and Darris to come to his aid once again.

Darris: Oh my god, you passed out Hawkbit!

Felix: You gayballs!

Nuggets knocks them both back down before they could do anything worth differentiating themselves from ACS.

Nuggets: THANK NEPTUNE ALMIGHTY WE ARE FREE AT LAST!

Nuggets and Tvguy nails all three members of Team Rage with a combined status update telling them to get on Skype, the impact sends Team Rage flying out of the arena and into the sky(pe).

Team Rage: IT LOOKS LIKE TEAM RAGE IS FUCKING OFF AGAAAAIIIIIN!

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Elastic doesn't even take time to survey the scene and just raises all their hands up in victory.

Elastic: WINNERS!

Jjs: Don't count your eggs before they hatch, or maybe you do wanna count them in this case, because there's still one member of Team Rage left!

Grandmaster: Shenanigans! Shenanigans, I do say!

Firebird: Make that 2!

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The following program you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is not entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein...except maybe *BEEP*...

...Anyway, IT'S JUST POOOOOOSTSTSTSTSTS!

The ACSaga: ACS & Me Could Write a Bad Romance Part 2

Team Rage: IT LOOKS LIKE TEAM RAGE IS FUCKING OFF AGAAAAIIIIIN!

RiBAXvB.jpg

0h1l6SY.jpg

Elastic doesn't even take time to survey the scene and just raises all their hands up in victory.

Elastic: WINNERS!

Jjs: Don't count your eggs before they hatch, or maybe you do wanna count them in this case, because there's still one member of Team Rage left!

Grandmaster: Shenanigans! Shenanigans, I do say!

Firebird: Make that 2!

The arena darkens as two figures rises up from the entrance ramp.

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Jjs: Wow, ACS actually is "friends" with Dennis Rodman.

Odysseus: 3!

Grandmaster: And me makes 10!

Jjs: Surely you have more where you came from. But seriously, just what is Team Rage? The SpongeBob Community's answer to Scientology?

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Grandmaster: Friends in high places, mind you. Get it? Because we use-

Jjs: Yes, flight simulators. :glare:

Nuggets: So does this mean ACS is trapped in the closet?

Tvguy: Sure would explain the rest of Team Rage sucking his dick. Or would that just be masturbation in his case? :whitney:

Elastic: Trapped in the drive-thru is more like it.

Firebird: All of us are overly annoyed by the rather hateful fanfic that's being written here. This is directed mainly at you, Old Man Jenkins!

Meanwhile, back in the audience.

Clappy & half of the audience: *bops* YES?

OMJ & half of the audience: NO!

Clappy & 75% of the audience: *bops* YES?

OMJ & 75% of the audience: NO!

Clappy & the audience: *bops* YES?

OMJ & the audience: NO!

OMJ wraps his legs around Clappy's head before he could bop him one again, but Clappy pulls back and yanks OMJ out of the crowd's clutches and sets up to powerbomb him down to the lower levels. OMJ sandbags a bit and leans back over the rail, allowing him to hurricanarana Clappy down to the lower level with him. Both Clappy and OMJ land hard on the ground below. They both instantaneously and simultaneously get up, dust themselves and brawl their way back up the stairs. Clappy clips OMJ with an uppercut out of nowhere, sending OMJ flying up the flight of stairs but Jenkins spins around at the top and clocks Clappy in the face with a discus elbow that sends him tumbling back down the stairs. OMJ the grinds the rail down and leaps onto Clappy for a tornado DDT, but Clappy manages to turn it against Jenkins by spinebusting him to the floor instead. Clappy hoists OMJ back up and repeatedly drives him back-first into the security walls around them until OMJ fights back with some knees to the sternum and elbows to the back, breaking Clappy's hug hold, before sending Clappy face-first into the wall. Jenkins unleashes a flurry of stiff kicks to Clappy against the wall. Clappy manages to catch one of them and throws Jenkins back into the wall behind him. Clappy repeatedly throws him into the wall before laying in some uppercuts, kidney punches and elbows to the face.

OMJ: Ripoff artist!

OMJ kicks Clappy in the shin hard, causing him to trip back a bit. Clappy goes right back on the assault only to be greeted with a strong knee to the gut. OMJ russian leg sweeps Clappy back up to the wall and sends him head-first into the floor with a Stroke immediately following. Clappy manages to no sell and gets OMJ wrapped up in a Clapper Crossface. OMJ struggles to not let the hold do him in and manages to lift Clappy up into the air breaks out with an emphatic angle slam to the floor, rolling over and following it up with another. He goes for a third one but Clappy counters out, pulls Jenk back for three kidney punches then clotheslines the back of OMJ's head straight to Davy Jone's locker. They then brawl their way out of the arena and into the Community.

Firebird: Keep in mind that deleting this thread will result in a mass murder-er..., email of the staff team of this website. That is all!

Tvguy: You know, I did receive one such email from ACS right here.

Tvguy takes the open letter out of his pocket.

Tvguy: And here's my reply.

Tvguy proceeds to wipe his ass with it.

Firebird: 75zq8.jpg

Nuggets: So the bad boy of basketball has joined forces with arguably the bad boy of SpongeBob forums thanks to their shared interests in flight simulators? I can hardly contain my piss.

Elastic: And aren't you the lead singer of HammerFall?

(Actual Response)

"Odysseus: Well, this is interesting. I shit you not when I say I didn't log in at all yesterday, let alone post anything. On that note, I smell the certain Swede who framed SantiX in an attack on SBM. (If any admins want to talk about that, feel free to ask me.)

Darris:

:smirk:

Odysseus: J.D...why do you do these things? What is your obsession with logging into other peoples' accounts?

Darris: Because you touch yourself at night."

Jjs: So that's what you do at 4 AM.

Firebird: You know, one day, one day this door is gonna open because of these 10 guys right here!

http://www.sbmania.net/wiki/index.php?title=Team_Rage-Task_Force_51

Firebird: The one thing about politics...Old Man Jenkins did one thing! If you understand what Old Man Jenkins did! Do you understand what he did to our group? Why he is held in contempt here with us, why?! You know, you've got 10 guys here, 10 guys here, they've left their families, they've left their damn families, to help keep this peace! That's 10 guys, all these guys here

http://www.sbmania.net/wiki/index.php?title=Team_Rage-Task_Force_51

Firebird: Gave their social lives, do anyone understand that?! I don't a shit, I don't give a rat's ass what the hell you all think! I'm saying to you, look at these guys here, look at them!

mQWktZM.jpg

Firebird: Look at them! They're ugly aren't they!? They dared to do one thing, they came here!

Odysseus slaps Firebird in the face and tries calming down the tense situation.

Odysseus: Stop, we're only coming off looking more and more like North Korea-

Firebird: We have to go back to SBM and take the abuse! Do you have to take the abuse that we're gonna take?! Do you sir, are you going to take the abuse?! One day, this door is going to open because these 10 guys here, all of us, ACS, Hawkbit, Archangel, Boomer- ... I mean everybody here! If we could open the door just a little bit for people to come here and do one thing!

Nuggets: FYI, you didn't have to come back here and stalk the spinoff section, y'know.

Firebird: You morons sealed your fate the moment you went and got rid of the good guys!

Nugs: ACS? Good? lol.

Tvguy: You wanna know who a good guy is? ACS, you're so bad, you make Crushing look like the Good Guy he claims to be! :lori:

Crushing: zzz...zzz...

Firebird: They were good, real good! But that's just Team Rage.

Odysseus: More like Team Fage!

Firebird: That was just Task Force 51!

Odysseus: More like Task Farce 51!

Firebird: We are the Red Saints!

Odysseus: And we're bad!

Jjs: True story.

Firebird: You better watch yourselves, we're wanted men! We have the death sentence on twelve SAMP servers!

Dylan: Then what are you gonna do? Hack into PSN with your "friends" in Anonymous? Because hilaryfan80 will stop you right where you stand, no lie. :laugh: And I say "no lie" because unlike you, I can handle the truth :)

Grandmaster: And then compromise my one man GTA V crew? ACS may be many things in your eyes, gentlemen, but I can assure you that an idiot is one them!

Firebird: Project Lochnivar shall drop!

Odysseus: Welcome to Rock Bottom!

ENOUHGG.jpg

Dylan: Welcome to the apocalypse, my nug. I hope you like wearing leather during our Skype calls.

Nugs: I'd rather prefer lingerie.

Firebird and Odysseus quickly hit the ring and proceed to swiftly decapitate Dylan with double clotheslines from the front and back. Dylan's head soars into the crowd and the guests bounce it around the arena like a volleyball.

Nuggets: No...my BET. So mind numbing yet so addicting :(

Jjs: The Red Saints have just took off the head of the SpongeBob community! :lori:

Grandmaster: Take off the head and the body will flounder after all.

Odysseus pounds on Firebird's chest, prompting Firebird to fling him into Nuggets and catches his off guard with another punishing clothesline. Firebird boots Elastic to the outside, leaving Nuggets at their mercy. They take turn taking Nuggets off his feet with clotheslines, literally leaving him out to dry. Odysseus whips Nuggets into the corner, keeping the black man down.

Jjs: The Red Saints are now making Nuggets their new whipping boy with Team Rage out of the game!

Firebird splashes him in the corner with a Phoenix Splash. Firebird tosses Nuggets into Odysseus, who nails Nuggets with the Hammer of Justice. Nuggets staggers back into a Slam Dunk from Firebird, getting driven face first into the mat. Elastic makes his way back up to the ring, but Odysseus grabs and yanks him into the ring by force. Elastic manages to grab Odyssey's arm, twists it and smashes it against his knee. But Odysseus blindsides him with another Hammer of Justice with his other arm. Firebird takes his Cuban cigar and jabs it into Elastic's face, burning his cheeks.

Grandmaster: Oooh! Burn!

Jjs: No one will wanna lick his cheeks after that! Except maybe ACS when he's hungry.

Grandmaster: Don't tempt me, thekid.

Dennis Rodman and Joacim Cans size Elastic up and take him out with their patented HammerFall of Man. Nuggets tries to get back in this, but Odysseus whips him back into the corner.

Jjs: Odysseus continues to punish and enslave Nuggets in the corner, as the HammerFall song goes!

Nuggets powers out and knocks Odysseus to the side from the sheer sound of his unheard voice.

Nuggets: You can take away my Black Entertainment, but when you take away my dignity, that's when I get strong and independent!

Nuggets spreads out his zone.

Nuggets: Hey, why does it take more than one ACS to screw in a lightbulb?

Audience: BECAUSE THEY'RE SO DARN STUPID!

The Red Saints start to rage and charge at Nugs for a double clothesline, but Nugs shrugs off their attempts and double clotheslines them instead.

Nugs: Imma letchu try and finish me off, but this gotta be the saddest attempt to get noticed of all time!

Nuggets links them both.

http://www.sbmania.net/forums/topic/37705-best-tf51-member/?hl=%20team%20%20rage

Nuggets: You wanna know why most people with a functioning brain (something you wouldn't know because you wouldn't have) ain't drinking your kool-aid, ACS? Cuz we's people are smarter than you give us credit for, whereas you give your bitch ass self way too much credit than it's earned.

Jjs: Nuggets seem to be prepping for another speech on racial equality! Talk about a verbal beat down waiting to happen!

Meanwhile, in the community...Clappy and OMJ are seen beating themselves with hammers. Pause.

nFYCYQc.jpg

OMJ: Not a good idea to take in mind, huh?!

Clappy: Are you kiddin?! I've been thinking about banning myself way before you!

Clappy takes himself a touch too much banhammers to the noggin.

Clappy: WEEEEE EEEE!!

PcFA5lF.jpg

OMJ takes advantage and brain busters what's left of Clappy's brains to the pavement. OMJ makes a run for his profile but accidentally bangs into someone else's.

xiLXm50.jpg

OMJ: oh you have your own gamer chick too. mother of all fuckers :stinkeye:

Clappy: No one bangs Zelda but me :glare:

Claps declares before banging into her himself. OMJ takes advantage and wails on Clappy, who successfully fights OMJ back into his own profile. Clappy tackles OMJ into his Rice President office and slams him through his own desk. Clappy picks OMJ back up and they fight out of OMJ's humble commode and all the way to the chat box.

Simon Anderson: First time back in almost a year and oh look, a dead chat.

Spongeboblover: First time back in about an hour and oh look, spongecraft is dead.

BubbleBlowingKelp: Hi Simon Anderson. Hi Spongeboblover. Hi Rev Up Those Fryers. Hi Hank. Hi Negi who's always posting but doesn't say anything. And hiiiii the rest.

Clappy and OMJ bursts onto the scene, trading blows. Clappy gets some punches in but OMJ manages to block some and responds with some of his own. They full-on lay it into eachother DBZ style, both getting staggered from the exchanges.

BubbleBlowingKelp: Hi Clappy. Hi Old Man Jenkins.

Jenkins uses Kelp as a human shield, but Clappy lays it into Kelp anyway, trying his hardest to connect with Jenkins but gets nothing but Kelp. Jenkins throws Kelp into Clappy, who Pedegrees Kelp for good measure. Jenkins kicks Claps as he gets back up and kicks him into a wall. Jenkins charges for a big boot against the wall, but Clappy dodge rolls out of the way. Jenkins ricochets off the wall, bounces back and lands a stiff front kick to Clappy's face. Clappy gets rocked back.

Simon Anderson: This chat's always dead but this is just ridiculous.

Jenkins goes for a dropkick but Clappy ducks it and it nails Anderson instead. Anderson gets sent flying back into obscurity as Clappy scoops Jenkins from the ground and plants him back down with a Hertz Donut. Jenkins pulls Negi out from her hiding spot and sends her post flying into Claps, who catches her in his arms.

OMJ: Aww, you two are cute together :laugh:

Clappy Pedegrees Negi and buries her in a shallow grave for good measure.

Spongeboblover: So either of you two wanna go on Spongecraft?

Spongeboblover takes Clappy and OMJ to SpongeCraft, where they proceed to wreck everybody's shit in their wake. Clappy finally finds use for his shovel here and conks Jenkins on the head with it before digging his grave. He dumps Jenkins in and stacks dirt blocks over him.

Clappy: There can only be one! :glare: now to go home and finish the rest of that ACS-

OMJ breaks out from the dirt blocks below Clappy and lowblows him. He seismic stomps Clappy into the dirt and throws him into the SpongeBob structure that the users of SpongeCraft spent about 15 minutes or so on. Jenkins busts out some TNT crates and plans to go full Crash Bandicoot in this bitch and sets them off next to Clappy. The force of the blast takes down the SpongeBob structure and decimates a majority of the landscape. OMJ and Clappy are sent flying away from the blast radius. Patty logs onto SpongeCraft.

Patty: tumblr_m0beq0H7el1qet1tyo1_500.gif

Spongeboblover: For once, I had no part of it!

a0scHLdl.jpg

Spongeboblover: Deuces! ✌

Meanwhile, back in the Deathmatch Arena...

Nuggets: ACS, we ain't single-minded lil shits like you. No matter how many of yourselves you can pull out your ass, no matter what face you decide to hide your pigly fat ass behind today, y'all still have that single one-tracked mind because your fat ass still pops out and shows itself no matter who you are! It's that obvious, and I don't even have to bring up the pictures or all that bullshit, you barely even make an attempt to pretend it's not you. Like with your "brothas" what sibling in they right mind would give two shits about the other sibling's online affairs let alone try and get themselves and keep themselves involved for ALL THESE YEARS?! Fuck they ain't got lives of they own, a couple of perfectly grown men just living through the online life of their "little brother". Hell if I was your brotha I'd slap you right in the throat, try to atleast cuz that area's nonexistent as my voice, each and everyday if this is how you act in everyday life! Fuck, your fat ass "passes out" after Dylan gave you what for on xat then your "brothers" come in whinin and cryin up on on the floor when they should be, idk, giving you your insulin maybe. Maybe cry for help, call emergency response, do a lil mouth to mouth instead of taking it to the net in a sad ass cry for help. You move onto SBM thinkin you 2cool4school then mothafucka no wonder you's dumb! No wonder why you can't learn to act around people, people can't bare to act around you! No wonder why you cant't fit in, and I'm not just sayin because you's fat. No wonder why you have this anti-bullying fetish, wouldn't be surprised if yo ass got stuffed into lockers five times a day. More than likely stuffed you in the meat locker of the cafeteria maybe, that's the only place you'd fit in. You try to rally SBMers up against us and how did that turn out for you exactly?

http://www.sbmania.net/forums/topic/29177-here-you-guys-can-have-this-now/

You subject us to all these multi-cultural, each have about as much maturity and experience as a sad, lonely 14 year old, grown ass men who have nothing better to do other than play videogames with and mind the Internet problems of a 14 year old, as well as actors and celebrities who get no work apparently and waste their "acting chops" and "talent" on being friends with ACSBehemothHellcat. Now that's an insult in and of it's own damn self! And til this day, you still try to stir the pot to get us at each others throat because even til this day, despite all your "friends", you're still well and truly on your own. You even go so far as to threaten the sanctity and sanity of SBM like you have with us for choosing not to back your fat ass up despite you apparently having all these "weapons of mass destruction" at your stubby lil fingertips. Petty threats that are about as empty as your stomach right now. Is Kim K gonna be your next friend for the sake of not making it seem like a total sausage fest in your mind? Cuz tbh, you two would be thick as both y'all asses. And it ain't even like you do anything to really prove it's not you. You laugh at your own lame ass jokes, you like your own posts to give yourself the impression that you're the least bit likable, you can't act and you dance around the whole debacle when confronted with it and you go back about jerkin yourself off in your lil fantasy land where you have siblings who somehow tolerate you, actual friends of all ages, race and creed, and where you actually think you're a badass for playing good videogames a couple years past their prime like some kid who just inadvertently discovered how to masturbate one night and gloats about it to all his peers the next day only to find out that that's what they taught you in sex ed class just the year before. And you're welcome for finding out what masturbating is btw, just be sure to stick your fingers in the hole when you actually do it.

Firebird and Odyssey surprises Nuggets with a HammerFall of Man out of nowhere.

Jjs: And The Red Saints responds to Nuggets with a HammerFall of Man out of nowhere!

Grandmaster: Nobody told Nugs to preach to his choir and go on a battery acid-induced sermon.

Jjs: It appeared as though ACS 1 & 2 couldn't handle the truth, as Dylan mentioned before.

Grandmaster: Or maybe they're actually answering back to all the accusations and bullshit being slung at me, being slung at us! Did your little peabrains ever had that thought compute through your thick, hollow skulls? We aren't the bad guys here, Mr. Thekid, we fight the bad guys. You know as well as we do. And the bad guys here are the entirety of SBC and even SBM for standing by and sitting their asses on the fence when they could've easily overtaken SBC as the number one SpongeBob site by now, free of bullies, free of any shit stains on the SpongeBob fandom such as yourselves. Now, they'll find themselves impaled on said fence and it will have been all their fault! I'll go so far as to say that you all are the Devil. Oh yes, oh yes, I went there.

Jjs: Yeah, well, I'll just respond with this DqYLhFs.jpg

Firebird and Odyssey put their boots to Nug's asses, flattening him out on the mat. The Red Saints ascend the turnbuckles on opposite corner, looming over Nuggets.

Jjs: Firebird and Odyssey appear to be setting Nuggets up for something big, perhaps ACS or something.

Grandmaster: This is something bigger than ACS, Jjs. You're about to bear witness to the single most destructive force in the TR/TF/RS arsenal. Project Lochinvar. Will. Drop.

Jjs: And we'll be right back after this word from our sponsors!

Community Deathmatch, now sponsored by

AHRI_2015.jpg

Jjs: The funny thing is, the logo actually looks like something one of you idiots would put as your avatar.

Grandmaster: You should be the last person calling us-

Jjs: You know what, here. Just to save you a few broken sweats. zvnBuBT.jpg

Firebird and Odyssey both point up towards the heavens then down at Nuggets below, they repeat it for three more intervals.

Firebird: PROJECT!

Odyssey: LOCHINVAR!

Firebird & Odyssey: DROOOOOOOOOOPPPPP!!!

Firebird and Odyssey just stand there pointing fingers and looking like idiots.

Jjs: So when's it gonna drop?

Firebird: I don't know, I didn't think we'd make it this far.

Odyssey: Uhhh...we need Santi's permission first remember?!

Firebird: Yeah! Once we get his say so, then you're all well and surely fu-

Santi: No, not today, come again some other day!

Firebird: ...Firebird over and out.

The crowd boos as The Red Saints begin to exit the arena.

Jjs: Well folks, it appears as though ACS's threats were about as real as those three douchebags down there! And now, said douchebags are proceeding to leave the arena with their dicks tucked tightly between their legs in what seems to be some lowbrow attempt at being the bigger man despite being the ones who got their panties in a twist to begin with. Astounding! May as well have just bent down and dropped a pile of crap because that's exactly what this all was: bullshit! Just when I thought ACS couldn't come off looking anymore like a clueless tub of shit, he manages to outdo, or better yet, outdouche himself yet again!

Grandmaster: We ARE the bigger men here, Jjs. We are better than simply giving into teen angst and taking down your site single-handedly.

Jjs: While I do agree that you are indeed quite bigger than all of us put together, you were willing to put yourself, all 10 of yourselves, on the line here this evening and you've lost about 6 of them! Are you sure you're not just saving face, all four that's left to be exact?

Grandmaster: They knew what they were getting into the moment I found out you were writing hateful fan fiction about us. I pride myself on my full proof battle plan of bullying the bullies and that's exactly what we did. You may have dropped my number and killed some good guys, but I, WE, also took out some of your best and finest. And if you continue to pride yourselves on foolishly believing that we are all one and the same, then I shall leave you with the terrifying fact that one man, one revolutionary led the rebellion against SBC's cyberbullying tyranny and left the battlefield the bigger man. But I'll give you moronic masses this, you ruined and sullied my reputation both here and on SBM. I, we, may not be able to log on here the same way again.

Elastic: Vintage ACS, blaming us for something you've "single-handedly" fucked up beyond all recognition, yourself.

Grandmaster: And while you all continue to cling onto past conflicts long since expired by writing your schlock, I'll be looking down on all you asswipes, stalking you from above, inside the tight, compacted comfort of my flight simulator with whatever neck I have holding my head up high like a diamond in the sky! *adjusts monocle and tips fedora*

tumblr_lyu311ByNO1r6vj6fo1_500.gif

Elastic: And just where, dare I ask, will you be stroking your own dickego at now?

Grandmaster: At SBM still, of course!

Just then, various members of SBM (and their mothers) storm the arena from the kindergarten playground and surround The Red Saints.

recess-kindergarteners.jpg

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The following program you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is not entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein...except maybe *BEEP*...

...Anyway, IT'S JUST POOOOOOSTSTSTSTSTS!

The ACSaga: The SBM Show

Elastic: And just where, dare I ask, will you be stroking your own dickego at now?

Grandmaster: At SBM still, of course!

Just then, various members of SBM (and their mothers) storm the arena from the kindergarten playground and surround The Red Saints.

recess-kindergarteners.jpg

French Narrator: Ahhh, the majestic SBMers, having just left the warmth and safety of their mother's wombs, all head out into the World Wide Web longing for a purpose. They come across a wild group of ACSes, or scientifically speaking, "Asses". The SBMers humor the ACSes, while some are just that damn gullible, by treating them as if they were all their own separate entity and not just figments of some ACShole's imagination. The ACSes have never received such attention from anybody with a brain in all his life, well, perhaps that still stands. The ACSes mingle with the SBMers, choosing not to adapt to their lifestyles and causing many to wonder why they're even there anyway. The ACSes force themselves into the false self-perception of them being SBM's protectors, shielding them from the evils of the rival SBC tribe and any other, who they proclaim to be, cyberbullies that dared joined the tribe, even if they offer more to the SpongeBob fandom than all of the ACSes combined.

http://www.sbmania.net/forums/topic/35935-team-rage-government-international-official-thread/?hl=%2Bteam+%2Brage

Jjs: I think Dylan pretty much summed up my thoughts of that. And ACS would have the nazi coat of arms as his own. I guess these grammar nazis have claws lol. No? Ok.

French Narrator: And thus, the ACSes would drive off some potentially, perfectly good members by putting them on their geek list, refusing to invite them to their cool party, and getting on the nerves of others, all while growing in number like a ravenous cancer. Or fatty tissue since they rarely pose any threat at all. But yet another one of the ACSes, tired of constantly being associated with just himself, laid out a link in the ring and put all the SBMers through it in hopes of better educating them.

http://www.sbmania.net/forums/topic/41041-anatomy-of-tf51-end-of-the-mis-labeling/?hl=%2Bteam+%2Brage

Jjs: Wow, ssj said retarded. That's about the only thing I learned from that.

French Narrators: The SBMers and the ACSes continued to live together in alimony, until...

Nuggets: This is just ridiculous. Alright, can I ask y'all one perfectly good question?

French Narrator: The lone black member of the tribe spoke out against the ACSes, as he called it, "Rule of Dumb", and laid out another link from underneath the ring upon which they stood.

http://www.sbmania.net/forums/topic/37435-does-anyone-actually-like-archangel/?hl=%2Bteam+%2Brage#entry681886

One of the ACSes, Santi, got mad and threatened the SBMers with immediate Lochinvar dropping, but alas, it only turned out to be fellow ACS, "Kurt Angle", hacking Santi's account and the hate for the ACSes snowballed from there. The SBMers, tired of the bullshit, jabbed their razor sharp fedorasspears into the ACSes and ripped them a new one faster than you could say Mysterious Mrenter. However the hell you pronounce "Mrenter". This action prompted some of the SBMers to assemble a prayer circle jerk for their base god MrEnter.

French Narrator: And soon, the SBMers were at each other's throats. Supporters and haters of Enter clashed emoticons. Supporters were all like "we understand the hate but you really shouldn't hold it against and crucify the guy" while haters be like "we understand why you like him but you really should form your own opinions".

At this point, the supporters were fighting fellow supporters and haters were hating on each other and it got nowhere, it never gets anywhere, why do they bother, maybe they get off on it with their limp dicks, maybe the sight of Mrenter's neck beard ruffles their own.

Jjs: There is absolute pandemonium in the ring! It's every goddamn man for themselves here!

French: Narrator: Then here comes the Pieback.

VRVWBOM.jpg

Pieguy: PIEGUYRULZ!

Jjs: NO! NO! AS NEPTUNE IS MY WITNESS, HE HAS JUST RATED THAT EPISODE STRAIGHT TO THE DEPTHS OF THE LEAD SINGER OF THE MONKEES!

French Narrator: And nobody really hates/supports him as much as they do with Enter. Probs because he's actually a member there and everybody's balls go right back up there like Jjs' did when Robertryancory joined SBC. I would personally like to see Enter join just to see how much balls get castrated that day.

And speaking of castrated, Prez got attacked by his fellow users for not keeping his opinions to himself. So in order to get him to cut it out, they proceeded to cut it out. But on the bright side, it made wearing skinny jeans much more bearable, so he held whatever was left of his head up high and fought back against the haters' opinions by using more of his own opinions.

Jjs: No! No! No more! Can't you see they've had enough!

Prez: I don't care what the fuck anybody says, you can totally jerk off to the commercials in the 5 AM-6 AM time slots!

All the President Squidward Torture Porn (or abuse, whichever is more SBM-friendly. Perhaps "President Squidward being chosen last for sports teams") aside, the Enter loyalists fought to keep discussing the reviewer of their wet dreams, but the haters made things a very dry nightmare for each time Enter's name was merely mentioned. It came to a head when MrEnter, after taking one too many animated atrocities to the head, murdered his wife and kid and committed YouTube suicide by using Viacom copyrighted content. Ssj instant transmissioned himself into the situation because hell if any other staff handle the srs shit.

Everyone looks at you, chat.

And he thereby made it law that Mrenter be written out of the SBM archives, which would probs get lost anyway in the cesspool stank of self-nominated entries. But the fan boys would eventually take their white cocoa dreamboat and sailed him all the way to SBC, for all the good publicity that got them upon arrival.

French Narrator: And so it was, with every time Enter was mentioned, people would fight while somewhat realizing the redundancy of it all even though they render that realization redundant by continuing the bad blood anyway for the sake of cheap ass laughs, which would eventually be self-nominated into the archives anyway thus rendering that redundant, as well.

Things heated up to the point where even Enter circle jerkers decided to just let their opinions be ripped away from them and transformed into Crushing.

Popeye: I just don't care about the guy anymore, he had some good opinions outside of his SpongeBob videos, but his opinions are just empty to me.

French Narrator: Ladies and gentlefish, S...S...J.

E4H4Ibo.jpg

Then the prince of all saiyans, Ssj, comes in and uses his saiyan otherworldly powers to end the discussion for good until the next time somebody decides to fail at humor. FOOLS.DKT4BEQ.jpg and thus making the fanboys' opinions and freedom to discuss Enter null and void. Unless it's through PM's. BUT WHO USES PM'S THESE DAYS, forums are much better for actual discussion.

French Narrator: And begun, the Clone Wars has as inspired elementary schoolers aspired to create blogs to share their own elementary-educated opinions on the complex, elementary art of cartooning with no real experience in the field whatsoever, some of which being years above their grade-levels.

Some SBMers soon begin to complain about how these overly opinionated blogs were overtaking the other, slightly more or less interesting personal blogs, I guess, and wanted said blogs to keep the opinions to themselves since ssj wasn't moving them anywhere, despite the fact that these are personalized blogs to the creator's taste and the creators should have free reign over what they put in it as the complainers themselves do.

French Narrator: Soon, almost everyone was trying to get everyone to change their opinions or just keep it to themselves but these were opinions as well and that got nobody nowhere, it never gets anywhere, why do they bother, do listening to people's opinions kill their boners for their own opinions?

They couldn't control the opinions, each other's opinions no matter how significant or insignificant was just too much to bear. Ssj was forced to take a break from creepin on girls 10 years his junior and had to step in to save Angry Koopa from being stepped on.

Ssj: Just don't read the shits and keep doing you, mang, both figuratively and literally.

French Narrator: Well, that's not what he said, but you know that's what's on his mind!

Are they really fighting with an elementary schooler's equally as elementary-educated opinion on cartoons? Do they go around playgrounds gangbanging kids in everyday life for playing with marbles or whatever kids plays with these days? They try to be intermediately constructive to criticize but are met with an elementary destructive response.

French Narrator: Meet me in the blogs, it's going down! Meet me in the PMs, it's going down!

The Angry Koopa proceeds to bend his detractors to his will and literally puts words in all their mouths by forcefully editing them where the sun doesn't shine ( their bodies). PatBack bursts back onto the scene now and corners Koopa inside a PM in a PMS-induced rage.

PatBack: FEED ME, MORON!

He yanks one of Koopa's reviews and tosses it to the ground.

PatBack: Pick it up.

sdCuHLi.jpg

Koopa picks it up like it's no thing but a chicken wing, but PatBack pulls it back out of his grip and throws it in the shower.

PatBack: Pick. It. Up.

Koopa was deep in thought, conflicted over whether to pick up the quality of his reviews or stand by his views of what he actually considers animation abominations. Real original btw.

sCbhxuZ.jpg

OTCRbMW.jpg

Koopa: PICKING UP! PICKING UUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPP!

Before they could reach second base, second base super saiyan god, ssj, comes back in before PatBack could literally bend Koopa to his will and touches them at night in all the right places when he says "let there be new smileys".

French Narrator: And kinda like the gift of fire in the episode "Ugh!", the SBMers abuse it like a red headed stepchild or y'know, Cha.

The SBMers go so far as to break the shoutbox with their newfound gifts of gab and continue to beat on that dead horse like they have no Dre's, they have no eggs, they have no dicks to beat instead! With each thing they're given, with each thing they discover a lengthy amount of time after the fact, they continue to beat it, continue to milk it until every last drop of blood they could possibly suck out is bled dry and then they proceed to play with the decayed corpse until the next fad drops and their attention is drawn to that faster than cats with laser pointers. Like Viacom in the Nickeloedeon Studios, they cant stop milking it well past expiration. Unnecessarily short, somewhat spammy spin-offs? You name it, they've beat it to the point of unconsciousness and had their way with it. So in other words, raped.

BabySmitty: HAVE A BOWL, MR. SQUIDWARD!

DigitalDistraction: HAVE A BOWL, MR. SQUIDWARD!

Jjs: Fuck, I need a bowl after this trip!

Nuggets: I WANT MY MOMMY'S BOWL, MR. SQUIDWARD!

Elastic: And to think, I joined SBC for the sake of avenging SBM...

Jjs: Nuggets, not you too! What the hell is going on down there, mang? Just where the Davy Jones are we right now?!

Aya: Welcome to hell, I'll be your tour guide, Aya, and you shall refer to me as such or else you will be prosecuted.

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Suddenly, Aya's Kiss My Ass Club showed up in stereo and they all proceeded to cling onto her to get breast fed some of her kool aid.

Aya: Drink up, my children. Aya's great-flavored kool aid makes you white, oh so very white, and strong. Especially you Cha, you're always nibbling at my profile.

The Fred Movement called for a boycott of SBM by spamming Fred faces to kingdom cum until Ohad was inserted into the main event of Spongebuddymania XXX (30, you sickos) against Lenny, who just returned from 2012 because Ohad and most of the SBMers weren't born yet.

Jjs: Bah gawd, bah gawd they're killing him! As Neptune is my witness, FRED IS DEAD!

French Narrator: Zat young try hard, Ohad, continues to push the envelope and people's buttons to become the funniest user on SBM. Which is the equivalent to entertaining a baby with a set of car keys.

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Ohad: Smiley Spam, big laugh. Lenny Face, kills. Pretending to leave, knocks em dead. Hmmm, discussing Mrenter...

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Ohad: NO. Think, Ohad, think! You're losing em- I GOT IT!

http://www.sbmania.net/forums/topic/40163-moms-spaghetti-rant/#entry773102

Ohad: Someone report this to the mods, there's a spam thread in the dump!

Jjs: Bah gawd, Ohad just slayed it! And by it, I mean humor. Do you have no heart?! Do you have no brain?! Do you have no courage?! Go down the yellow brick road, you sunovabitch!

French Narrator: Ssj kaiokens in and proceeds to put the thread on lockdown, which already being in the dump, kinda defeats the purpose.

SBMers: YOU CAN'T ADMIN!

Ssj: I disagree.

SBMers: YOU CAN'T ADMIN!

Ssj: You touch yourselves at night.

SBMers: YOU CAN'T ADMIN!

Ssj: I disagree.

SBMers: YOU CAN'T ADMIN!

Ssj: Big whoop, wanna fight?

And ssj proceeds to lock them up to and they respond by filling up the SBM calendar with flat out spammy and unnecessary holidays and dates. SpongyMaterial started up a title card game.

SpongyMaterial: http://sbmania.net/titlecard.php?img

Pazza: Reef_Blower.jpg best game ever, my gosh.

More Spandy: You'll never see good quality games like this on SBC!

Bagels, Prez and Ohad roll in on their three-wheelers and proceeded to fuck his shit up.

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Jjs: No, no! The thread! They're eviscerating it! Call in the king's horses! Call in the king's men! Tell them to put this this thread back together again goddammit!

SpongyMaterial: Uhh those aren't ::dolphin noise::ing title card, gais! Thish ish for title cards ONLY! Why you gotta do ONLY me like thish, asholes?! Spread your ashes so's ONLY I can show you all how to really post title cards ONLY! 129364541.jpg

Prez: We were just joking gotdangit, mang.

SpongyMaterial: If you want to joke, joke shomewhere else ONLY! This game is for ShpongeBob episode title cards ONLY. Look at thish older vershion of the game: http://www.sbmania.n...ard-game/page-1 Do you shee anyone ONLY joking? I don't think sho. So I suggest you and the ONLY other members do the same. ComprendONLY? 129364541.jpg

Halibut: SpongyMaterial, you are about as deluded as about five different users here that I can name off the back of my hand if you think you're king of this this thread.

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SpongyMaterial: Uhhh I am the one and :dolphin noise::ing ONLY Shpongy, Title Mashter, Material! I created thish game and that means you ONLY play by ONLY my rules! 129364541.jpg

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SpongyMaterial: Thish ish ONLY Picklesh! This ish ONLY Jellyfish Jammmuh! Thish ish ONLY Boating Shchool! This ish why we can't have nice things! You new members always ruin things with your stank running jokes that was barely funny to run with to begin with! 129364541.jpg

Halibut: For once, I'm not gonna fight and just report you.

SpongyMaterial: Not if ONLY I report you firsht 129364541.jpg

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Halibut continues choking Spongy Material out with his own crown before laying some harsh Bad Review Elbows into em, but they're not that effective with this user.

Jjs: I can't believe it! SpongyMaterial is absorbing the fatal blows of those bad reviews like he's made of some sort of...spongy material! hot-tub-time-machine-o.gif

Prez locks SpongyMaterial in his dreaded (and favorite) Crossface Chickenfry. He wrenches away at Spongy, forcefully trying to make him take the jokes but Spongy just absorbs the misery and his pride and just won't take it anymore. Spongy manages to writhe his way out and takes both Prez and Hal down with his One and ONLY.

Jjs: SpongyMaterial lays both users out with the One and ONLY, but as Jack Skellington would say, what's this?! Another user appears to be entering the fray!

Griffbob joins the fight and fires off some scathing Accusations at Spongy.

Griffbob (and I quote): "No stop if you are just going to bash me and the other new members you are ageist racist sexist and homophobic!"

Jjs: Forget Ronan, Griffbob should've been the bad guy of Guardians of the Galaxy!

Griffbob Accuses Spongy some more, but Hal and Prez both sorta come to Spongy's aid and gets Griffbob to back up before taking SpongyMaterial out of commission with a double team Overrated Review.

Halibut: You sir, are even more deluded than everyone else here is if you think that a minor temper tantrum such as this equates to that much hate. Or you might just be onto something given the hostile environment here. Thank you very much!

Halibut beats on Griffbob with his gavel.

Prez: Calling someone ageist, racist, sexist and homophobic is SO overrated. It's overdone to death.

Prez pulls off his scarf indoors and wrings it around Griffbob's neck, hanging him over the ring ropes.

Jjs: President Squidward is looking to put that opinion to the test on Griffbob, literally trying to see if he can overdo choking him out to the point of death!

Griffbob manages to break free from the makeshift noose with some more sharp Accusations. Todd Philips comes out and posts a new thread about how Pixar is making toy story a romantic comedy and Prez actually sorta agrees with him that it'll probs suck donkey dookie until inevitably letting his anti-90s rhetoric take over him, but lets just save that hot and juicy for another episode :funny:

Griffbob: No stop if you are just going to bash Todd Philips you are 90sphobic, early 2000sist, Johnny Testist and teen titans season sixist!

Ssj comes back in and breaks up their fight, automatically leading Griffbob to believe that he hates him.

Griffbob: When will ssj finally stop hating me :( ageist.

Omair: Oh think nothing of it, he hates everyone. Especially me! :Squilliam:

Jjs: Everyone except those girls ten years his junior he continues to 4-Play with.

Ssj: When my libido gives me issues, I don't just use lube and tissues. I need Peach4Life, Peach4Life, Peach4Life when I need a wife! Huh!

SBMers: :patboo:

Aya: TNA SUCKS!

Ssj: I disagree.

Aya: TNA SUCKS!

Ssj: There's more wrestling.

Aya: TNA SUCKS!

Ssj: I disagree.

Aya: TNA SUCKS!

Ssj: Six-sided ring.

Griffbob: well if I can't get you to love me, I'll just make you!

Griffbob lunges at ssj, but ssj immediately answers with a ban.

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Jjs: OH MY GOOOOOOD! THAT-THAT'S SOLID CONCRETE! THAT'S SOLID CONCRETE!

Ssj: Tough shitlove.

Toasterstrutel bursts through the door and raises the roof off the entire arena. Do arena's supposed to have roofs?

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Strutel: Do you smell what The Toaster's Toastin'?

Jjs: Sauce's eyelashesthe crowd becomes unglued as FINALLY, they are greeted by The Greet One, the most Controversial Man in all of Children Cartoon Forums!

Strutel: FINALLY! THE TOAST HAS COME, to Community Deathmatch. And President Squidward, I'm here to impeach your ass and break your bones like glass! Your skin's about as rough as paper, everyday you break your legs leaving you with no leg to stand on and every night you break your arms fapping to Cartoon Network commercials! You have some controversial opinions. You think everything is overrated, you think everything is not cool when you're part of a team. I'll give you a team!

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Prez: Well, you wanna know what I really thi-

Strutel: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU REALLY THINK!

Prez: WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO STRUUUUDE?

Strutel hammers away at Prez, punching him clear out of the ring. Bad Reviews Halibut winds up another Bad Review, but Strutel ducks it and catches Halibut for the Bikini Bottom.

Jjs: Halibut's bad reviews has finally landed him in Bikini Bottom! Population: You and a town full of idiots like you!

Todd Phillips comes back in with a petition to ban the word "bae". Big Meaty Leedles makes his way over and gets in Todd's face.

Leedles: I'll have you know that "bae" is actually the Danish word for poop and I totally did not have to use urban dictionary to find that out :okay:

Bricksponge: Thats so pathetic, it's almost cute.

Bricksponge hits on Todd before literally hitting on Todd.

SOF: er, what's wrong with gae? :P

OMLJ: Well, this is America. lZdMKRF.jpg

SG: It would violate everyone's first amendment right.

SG says before tossing SOF back down north of the border, one nation under Johnny Manziel because MURICA! MURICAAAA!

Ssj: Tell that to the government who doesn't care about it.

And almost as if witnessing the pot call the kettle black, the SBMers rile themselves up.

SBMers: SSJ SUCKS!

Ssj: I disagree.

SBMers: SSJ SUCKS!

Ssj: There's nothing I can't handle.

SBMers: SSJ SUCKS!

Ssj: I disagree.

SBMers: SSJ SUCKS!

Ssj: Y'all couldn't hold a candle.

Doowop: Could you repeat that. I wasn't "baeing" attention.

Everyone then teamed up on Doowopasaurus and made sure he joined the rest of the dinosaurs in extinction, but not before archiving his own fossilized joke in the archive because good humor is dead.

Crushing: About as dead as SBC is nowadays.

Jjs: While I could sit here and point out at least four good reasons why you're wrong, I'll just welcome you back to the land of the living.

Crushing: This sudden influx of activity here was enough to get me wide awake from my bored stupor, but I still am pretty tired.

Prez re-enters the fray and challenges Todd's opinion once again.

Prez: But that word is bae (HAHA! HA!). Lets just ban every other word because they're overused and overrated because we have to keep bae for lulz. 54245694.jpg

Prez gets in Todd's face again.

Prez: Because you know I'm all about that bae, bout that bae. Mo' trouble. I'm all about that bae, bout dat bae! Mo' trouble! Yeah, it's pretty clear. I got my eyes on you. But when you won't listen to reason, what am I supposed to do? I've got the BOOM BOOM that all the boys in Isis craaaave! All the right opinions that everybody haaaates!

Todd: *tears out own ears* IMNOTLISTENINGIMNOTLISTENING! (aka every Todd comeback ever)

Jjs: Vintage Phillips!

After washing my eyes out with salt water, everybody teams up on Todd now. Except ssj, of course.

Ssj: So you're all picking on Todd again. Big whoop! Wanna fight about it?

He then simply bans everyone along with the words "selfie", "hashtag", "swag" and "yolo" because his Levitra didn't work. Omair comes in and punches OMLJ's hater blockers right into his corneas.

Omair: America doesn't have an official language :Squilliam:

Acidic intervenes and shreks Omair's shit.

Acidic: Yes you do, it's english. It's official, just not original.

Omair uses his recently tightened jaw to bite off Acidic's ear and spits it back in his face.

Omair: Spoken language = / = official language

Acidic breathes on Omair with his hot breathfire.

Acidic: Are you saying english isn't America's official language? ¿Que?

Milkmaidman: Take it to the combaents department, guys

Everybody teams up to make sure that Milkmaid goes sour, but not before giving his own joke a well deserved grave in the mass grave of humor that are archives, alongside his body.

Omair: https://www.google.c..._sm=93&ie=UTF-8

Maybe at least know what you're saying before you talk. Literally every link here has some variation of "English is not the official language of the US". Yes some states have done so but it's notas if the country has officially made it into law that this country is to only operate in English.

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Omair then sends Acidic's Assidic crashing through the link because OMAIRICA! OMAIRICAAAAA! ONE NATION, UNDER SNOW!

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Acidic: ...

Acidic turns into Nicolas Cage and tightens Omair's braces to disproportionate proportions, causing Omair to writhe in pain.

Acidic: Why couldn't you just put the bunny back in the box?

Prez: Ugh. America is so overrated, not to even mention overpopulated. I want off this bandwagon. Death to America, I say. Who's with me? Nobody? Kden.

Prez then hops on the Isis bandwagon and rides them to oblivion, blasting Outkast on the radio.

Jjs: We get it, you're an outcast!

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Wolf Blitzer: BREAKING NEWS

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Wolf Blitzer: This just in the Tense Situation Room! 14 year-old SpongeBuddy Mania and consequently SpongeBob Community member, President Squidward, has just become the latest teenage runaway for ISIS! We've received conflicting reports that indicate that the disgruntled, unimpressionable hipster, fascinated with ISIS' old world beliefs, in contrast to the mainstream beliefs of America today, as well as their scarves both indoors and outdoors even in blistering heat policy, looks to be now wandering over yonder to Syria to be recruited into the terrorist organization! And in related news...

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Wolf Blitzer: Popularly syndicated SBC lit, Community Deathmatch, is leaving everybody's balls salty over its mocking portrayal of the terror group, ISIS! This coming after threats of war made by North Korea as well as riots breaking out in the streets over the forced, unprovoked resignation of black teenager, Nuggets. We reached out to creator and showrunner, Old Man Jenkins, for a comment on the controversy.

OMJ: How's about you all take your salty balls and dip them into some chocolate then cum at me, brahs.

Wolf Blitzer: We here at CNN speak for everyone when I say that all eyes are indeed on the SpongeBob Community right now.

Nards comes out to the ring now. Everybody chants in unison

Everybody: Ew Nerds!

Nards: Nards? Please, Tropical Nards is my father. Call me Tropichode Balls.

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Ssj: Tell that to the government who doesn't care about it.

Nards: Then tell me one thing, ssj: WHY THE FUCK CUNT WE FUCKING SWEAR IN THE FUCKING ASS MOTHERFUCKING SALTY SHITTOON!

Jjs: Ohhhhh, he said number eleven! And twelves. And thirteen. And seven. And two.

Ssj: You don't have to swear out your problems, you know. There's plenty of people who cope with it just fine, it's called civility.

Nards proceeds to charge and shoulder tackle ssj into one of the corner turnbuckles. He lays it into ssj with some heavy shoulder thrusts, battering ramming his way into ssj' s ribs before picking ssj up out of the corner and power slamming him to the mat with a strong ass motherfucking spinebuster straight from your stank ass cunt, bitch!

Jjs: Amazing! Now that he's in the Community Deathmatch Arena, Nards is free to say what he wants and he isn't holding anything back one bit!

Nards locks his leg in an STF and wrenches away.

Jjs: STFU! Nard-er, Balls has locked in the STFU!

Nards: Good fucking luck getting out of this shit you fucking bitch ass motherfucker! King Bitch all up in this bitch, ho! Fuck! I wanna unload my emotion all out on that bitch Shaniqua AND IM GONNA UNLOAD IT ALL UP YOUR ASS!

Nards flings ssj up onto his shoulders.

Nards: SHANIQUAAA! SHANIQUA YOU CONNIVING CUNT ASS COCKFACE MOTHERFUCKING SLUT BITCH ASS HO BITCH SLUUUUTTTTT!

Nards swears up a storm and ssj gets demolished in the eye of it.

Jjs: AN EMPHATIC FU TORNADO THROUGH THE DEATHMATCH ARENA FOR THE AGES BY THE LITTLE JEW THAT COULD! You'd think that bitch, girl, friend, slut, thing, Shaniqua took his lunch money or something!

MLB catching great, Mike Pazza, comes in and vents on everyone about his own girl troubles.

Pazza: Everyday it's girls for days, y'all. My moms be all like "dafuq's wrong with you son? Why you can't you bring all the boys to our yard?! Shake what I gave you, you ungrateful bastard!" But y'know, that's the gist of it. Help?

Nards: Pazza my bitch ass ho boy, looks like you've got some nards down there after all. More than my fucking bitch ass and my name is Nards, motherfucker! AHHYEYK!

Which is Hebrew for ass, I guess. Pazza gets pretty offended and immediately goes on the offensive.

Pazza: Alright, mah goy. For starters, it ain't all about putting it up the butt. What you think this is, Pazza Hut?

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Pazza: And secondly, if I was all about that pussy, I'd just get me some kitty cats and live alone for the rest of my motherfucking life having those pussies claw at my back, nah'sayin? And thirdly, I can swear too, BITCH.

Nards: What the fuck happened to jokingly complimenting a motherfucker these days, bitch? Damn first and last time I try to be fucking charitable out my goddamn bitch ass. AHHYEYK!

Lil Hoe comes in now and gets into it with Nards because Nerds, y'all. Shit.

Hoe: Just because you can't hit it with the ladies, Nards, doesn't mean Pazza wants to. I mean, what girl would wanna go out with a guy who calls himself "Nards" anyway? Major turn off right there, mah goy. You just know he trying to compensate for something.

Nards: I hear what you're fucking saying. I gotjew, Homi- BITCH!

Nards bitches Pazza out, verbally and physically, and makes sure he gets caught up in the FU tornado this time. He goes toe to toe with Homie, who breaks his neck upon staring down at Nards because he and Clappy's the same height. Nards FUs Hoe as well because that's the closest he gonna git to hit. Nards starts celebrating a lil bit too hard right now, like its his bar mitzvah or something.

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Nards: Bitches! Bitches! Hoes! Sluts! Hoes! Bitches! Sluts! Sluts! Hoes!

Jjs: Nards just tore new holes in all those hoes! That sexual frustration is building up at an alarming rate, there's no telling what he might not do next!

Smitty's baby ssj4gogita4, BabySmitty, comes in and blocks Nard's cock, firmly grasps it in his hand and sends him flying into the bathroom with some tissues because BabySmitty's #2 and it stinks.

BabySmitty: And speaking of stink, I know you all think Patrick is a stank ass friend to SpongeBob but I'm here to implore to post moments of good friendery right here so that we may all see Patrick for the good guy he really is deep, deep down past the fat in his arteries.

Big Meaty Leedle comes plopping in and hijacks the thread with Patrick's more finer moments.

Big Meaty Leedles: Pet Sitter Pat, Restraining Spongebob, Yours, Mine, and Mine, The Card, Smoothe Jazz at Bikini Bottom, Oral Report, Big Sister Sam, The Splinter, The Googly Artiste-

BabySmitty: UHHH MUST YOU COME IN HERE AND RUIN EVERHTHING?! I could give you a list of all the times SpongeBob was a dick to Patrick that's TWICE AS LONG! photo-4760.png

Big Meaty Leedles: Please do so...won't be as much as this.

They then proceeded to compare their dicks and Leedles proves exactly why he's called Big Meaty Leedles.

Leedles: Thats like 3 inchesfractions versus 25 :laugh:

BabySmitty: Uhhh, I try doing something positive for this character and you only go out of your way to be negative about this character like Mrenter! photo-4760.png

Big Meaty Leedles: I can agree he's done some good, but face it bruh, he's an ass nowadays mang. Give it up, yo. photo-5170.jpg

More Spandy: Are you talking about Patrick or Mrenter?

Leedles: Patrick photo-5170.jpg

More Spandy: Motherfucke-

The Enter Police aka Popeye "uh guh guh guh guhs" onto the scene.

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Popeye: Well blow me down if you could! If I've been stripped of my of my balls, you all should be too.

Popeye says before opening a can of spinach on their asses and uses the can opener to bust their balls wide open.

Isis drops President Squidward back off because he was only in it for the fashion, and seeing a chance to fuck up another thread, Prez joins Leedles in the systematic beating of Patrick's character.

Prez: I'm With Stupid, such a good friend amirite?

BabySmitty: I came here to have a good time and I'm feeling so attacked right now!

BabySmitty cries out as Leedle holds him in a full nelson and Prez wails on him.

Leedles: We're just comparing dicks.

BabySmitty: Well, I guess you win.

Big Meaty Claws: Patrick's got some good moments, even in post-movie too.

Just as BabySmitty is about to give up on life due to a cartoon character, Omair comes back in the ring, loosens his braces out, and makes the save for BabySmitty by knocking both Prez and Big Meaty Claws on their asses.

Omair: I am a Real Omairican! Fight for the rights of every gay squid! And you guts areno diffretn form Patirk right now.

Omair gives Claws the Snow Shoe, and letting it sink into his face. He then looks to give him the Tentacle Drop, but Claws interrupts

Claws: I'm Big Meaty Claws, not Big Meaty Leedles!

Omair: Oh :laugh:

Omair desis out and is about to take Leedles to prayer school, but Leedles interrupts.

Leedles: IT WAS ONLY A BAD JOKE AT FIRST, MY GOD! But Smitty got butthurt about a cartoon character and it got blown way out of proportion from there ]like my Big, Meaty Leedle

Omair gives him the Snow Shoe anyway, and it sank even deeper into his face.

Milkmaidman: Are you seriousrightnow? I mean, I knew this kind of fight was inevitable, but are you serious? MAH BOIS SERIOUSLY, AREWEREALLYFIGHTINGABOUTAGIANTPILEOFBUBBLEGUMRIGHTNOWSERIOUSLY?!

Everybody punches Milkmaid in the eyes to help him unsee that, but all it did was put more dark circles under his eyes. The fighting turns off Grubby Grouper and he makes a status about it.

Grubby: Later Groupies, Grubby's gonna go catch some gnarly pounders! Aoooooohhhhhh!!

Then everybody started spamming on it and it somehow reaches over 200 replies, prompting him to slap a bitch or two. With a lock from his statuses. His leaving to catch some gnarly pounders saddened some and inspired others to follow in his footsteps.

RSF2: Hey guys, I've finally gonna follow my dream of making a movie about a children's cartoon forum starring all of you. Don't expect any royalties.

Mightymax: Well obviously I'm not wanted here, obviously so I'm just gonna go hit the ole dusty trail...I don't know when I'm gonna get back. Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, next month, maybe even next year if you're all really lucky. I'm obviously writing much better than how I usually do, shows what this guy really knows about me. So yeah, goodbye, farewell, auweidersehen and goodbye. Adieu, adieu, to you and you and you. Goooooodbyyyyeeeeeee. The sun is going to bed and so must I. Yeeeaaah, so I'll update you all on my departure in thirty minutes then.

SB_DW: I'm sorry guys, but my country needs me. Gobble, gobble, gobble mothercluckers!

Wumbo: So I'm forced to step myself down and take a break for life as I enter my first year of college. I'll miss you all, you don't have to do anything crazy to send me off like write an entire novel in tribute to me or anything. It'll be hard getting used to not coming here at all but I'm sure school will keep me busy in the meantime. See you when I'm out of college, eh!

Omair: Uhhh, who duckin cares? WERES DPL AND HPL ='(

RSF2: Hey guys, just wanted to tell you all that work still hasn't started on the movie yet but it'sa gettin thar. Don't expect me back until more jack shit happens. Toodles!

Mightymax: Just because I'm on doesn't mean I'm back. SO STOP CHECKIN UP ON ME! AND NO! I AM NOT FINISHED WITH LEAVIN!

SB_DW: Homework's done! Thought I'll pop back in and check up on things then I'll be gone again until I finish my homework tomorrow so by all means, enjoy my reviews while you can!

Wumbo: Don't know why I'm back, eh, but I am don'tcha know. Eh look, Jenks wrote a deathmatch in dedication to me. How special that makes me feel. He put a lotta work into it too, three whole chapter's worth don'tcha know. Wow that's really somethin, eh. Now I know who missed me the most x3 I'm sure he's glad I came back in time to read it. Check out my blog, eh. *deliberately doesn't leave a link to rub more salt into the wound*

French Narrator: The constant leaving and returns grew tiresome for the SBMers. So they go to the torch and pitchfork store and they put that on their badly thought out and unorganized LIST OF COMPLAINTS while marching to Tiananmen Square, where they viciously beat on any and all leaving and returning members such as SBLaura, Pop Princess, DPL, That One Random Fellow Creature Fan, BeatlesBox, the guy that invented Coca Cola, and the magician because this site is funded by all the high school drama and the lurkers who come on find it more entertaining than soap operas, either that or by the blood that's shed. Does that finally answer your question, Drifter?

The Drifter: Everything makes so much sense now! Illuminati confirmed!

Prez: Illuminati confirmed!

Bagels: Illuminati confirmed!

OMLJ: Comfirmed illuminati!

Milkmaidman: Illuminating television! *lightbulb blasts off like a rocket*

Rusty: IMRUSTYOKAY!

And every SBMer and their mothers proceed to beat that fad past the point of death and beyond til this very moment before finding more reason to beat on each other because it funds the site after all. They continue killing each other until Cha and/or Aya are seen entering the chat, the two symbols of unity for SBM, and they all follow suit because they have girly partsthe best line in shit to chat about since Kappa Mikey got axed. Or if you just take jelly and crushing from deathmatch and turn them into a stick man and a fuckin furry. And excuse me if I have the following back and forth wrong because I HAVE NO FUCKIN IDEA EITHER!

Cha as Gwen: but i am your mijo, senor holmes

Aya as senor: ju have rosado hair, acidente. I have gris

Cha as Gwen: por favor

Aya as senor: No (Spanish)

Cha as Gwen: por favor

Aya as senor: No (Spanish)

Cha as Gwen: por favor

Aya as senor: ju are not allowed at BillyPoo Studios for cinco de mayo

Cha as Gwen: ...por favor

Crushing: They love Mexicans. I see. I'm sorry to alarm you.

Most SBMers: v9bpGk.gif

Big Meaty Leedles: Say, what's Kappa Mikey?

Big Meaty Claws: Idk, but it has a good theme song.

After spending a good bit pretending to have the slightest inkling as to what Mexican landscaper's excuse for a Frollo Show that Cha and Aya are fingering each other about, they decide to follow suit and spam the poor place til it's purple like guano.

Jjs: OH NO! OH GOD NO! DONT DO THIS, DONT DO THIS! THERES PEOPLE IN THERE! THERES PEOPLE IN THERE! GOOD GOD, WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT THAT!

Omair: lel k

Jjs: STOP LAUGHING! YOU STOP LAUGHING! JUST WHERE IS THE HUMOR IN ALL OF THIS! TELL ME, TELL ME RIGHT NOW YOU SUNOVABITCH!

Then Nards came.

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Aya: Ew Nerds.

Then Puffy Fluffy came so everybody stopped what they were doing to puff his fluff, or to have him fluff their puff. Either, or. Followed by Danny10, escorted by his parole officers.

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And everybody stopped what they were doing again to have him jump into their basements, or to jump into his basement. Either, or. But both Puffy and Danny leave about as quickly as they came, leaving many humping dry. And speaking of dry humping, Toasterstrutel FINALLY comes to chat, causing Cha and Aya's panties to fly off before they...glaze him.

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Aya tries clearing the chatroom out with her vagina by pulling OMJ out of his fight with Clappy for a hot minute and instigating a live sex celebration in the chat, not for love but probs for her to teach sex education to the kiddies, I guess. Or to prove she's actually a girl. So Dashing Dave proceeds to give her his Dangerously Large Dorito and they spam up the chat with some heat and steam, but the SBMers liked it and doubled it for a sauna. Even Abney seemed to be liking it since he was there watching the whole thing unfold and did nothing. Nothing at all.

Ling-Ling: SBM, you know, FOR KIDS. *shoots self in foot*

Aya wraps things up quickly and then drives OMJ out by talking about shit he doesn't know about.

OMJ: I loved you better when you spammed JRisms.

And then Clappy blindsides OMJ outside the chat and they continue soaring through the air fighting aimlessly before ACS and co. could blindside Clappy for stepping foot on SBM soil. All the spam gives Aya a tummy ache and Cha a headache. Either from that or all the chocolate.

Jjs: And by chocolate, we do mean The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

It even has the self-proclaimed intellectual spammer of the unwashed asses on edge.

HALLELUJAH!

Omair: when will you BDSM staff get oof yuor llamas and fineally mak chaya chat mods?

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Omair: Because they deserve it like THIS much!

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Omair: They have a lovely relationhips between stick human and furry!

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Omair: can't yuo see taht all thi sspam is killingthe moo, and us tbh!

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Omair: ayy has alreadyprived herself cap able of bein mist responsible in hat!

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Omair: And chaz has shown her loyaltity and rings us all together with her live for guapo!

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Omair: The spam her has goten so bad it makes aay's stomach hurr!

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Omair: Do you wanna ese smb's greetest member go down the toy let, along with the cat?! I know I do nt!

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Omair: the spams harder to swallow than five dozen raw eggs and if Ayaton can't swellow thta then you batter call houstontexas becaus we got problems!

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Omair: so giver this job, at least just so ttah its enouhg to pay $999 for her WE network!

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Omair: Dan if you dint, then by lla maens aay, burn your bar-

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Omair: AAA'S A GIRL?!

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Omair: Ese?! BOTH hac and aya have just the right assets to make cha mods work if Sblaura, Dadmop and SBSox

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Omair: are anyone to go by!

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Omair: thtaand heir hair are amazeballs!

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Omair: Ssj creeped so himself! And- OH MY GOLLY!

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Omair: hank you, god night!

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Jjs: E.V.I.L., if you shove your head up their asses any higher, you'll be spitting out shit. Which is exactly what you're doing right now!

Ssj: You know, that story tells me something.

Jjs: Really, what does it say?

Ssj: It tells me that now, I'm gonna ban you all twice as hard.

Ssj then takes away everybody's chat privileges for like 10 minutes.

Once everybody got on chat, SPAM AHOY from what I hear until Cha deduced what everybody's deal was, having dealt with it for years, and came up with a solution by posting a YouTube link into the chat.

Link: Alright you stupid brats! I'm gonna teach you how to do THE SPONGE!

Well first you spread your legs and expose your derrière!

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And then you take the tampon and jam it right up there!

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You jerk yourself around and feel a great big plunge!

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Now you're doing The Sponge!

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Uh do the sponge, sponge! Uh do the sponge!

Close your buns, you're doin the sponge, hon!

Well now first you spread your legs!

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And expose your derrière!

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Then you take the tampon!

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And you jam it right up...THERE

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Your jerk yourself around and you feel a great, big plunge!

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Now you're doin! Yeah! Now you're doin The Sponge!

Alright now yeah! Uh do the sponge, sponge! Uh do the sponge!

Close your buns, don't let out the bad blood!

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PhilipB: This is it! This finally proves we're more mature than SBC! We've been menstruating first, sir!

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Yeah, close your buns you're lettin out the bad blood!

Strutel: Forget Aya, I love you now.

Cha: Get lost, breakfast pastry! Can't you see I'm doing The Sponge?!

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Ah yeah yeah! You're doin the sponge!

Oh yeah don't take out the sponge sponge!

Yeah do the sponge sponge! We'll do the sponge!

Whatever you do, don't let out the bad blood!

We'll do the sponge sponge! Just let it plunge!

Well yeah, now we're doing the sponge, hons!

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Ooooooofy: Merry Squishmas, you naughty boy

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Do_The_Sponge: *gives pie to everyone*

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Do the sponge yeah! Do the sponge!

Yeah just do it! Keep, keep, keep the tampon on on!

Oh yeah the sponge sponge!

Don't let the blood flood!

Drifter: It all makes sense now, why we're always pissed off and fighting and whatnot on the monthly...there are three periods in an ellipses. ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED!

Prez: ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED!

Bagels: ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED!

OMLJ: CONFIRMED ILLUMINATI!

Ohad: :Fred:

Milkmaid: IRRUMINRRATFIRRRMED!

All the SBMers pick Cha and Aya up and parade them around like they're GOATs and Ssj finally uses his saiyan powers for good instead of E.V.I.L.

Cha & Aya: Yay! We're chat moderators!

Omair: Chaya conformed! :Squilliam:

Suddenly, a rather large abnormality of a gentleman returns from celebrating his own birthday and gives SBC more reason to method his madness. He enters the chat and swats away some of the Chaya (wor)shippers.

Grandmaster: Ladies and FREAKIN MORONS, good evening. Now please bring your attention to me! You've just seen that seeing's believing! Your butts and your holes have been bleeding! Please check to see if you're still breathing! Even though I've, WE'VE, remained silent on this matter for a long time (due in part to our lunch break at Pazza Hut. Asshats kept trying to get me to order toss salad when all I wanted was some sausage), after a recent debate that sprouted up lately, we feel the urge to make a quick statement that I assure you all will be faster than we run! Although not wrong in itself, the conduct of the so-called "SBM Rat Pack" (Aya, Cha, possibly EVIL too) are often the cause of much controversy within my mind. You see, there is only one pack that can roam this jungle and I can assure you it's SBM's Fat Pack (ACS, ACS, possibly ACS too). Dealing in judgement based on data provided to me by a number of my personalities, I can say this: if they are the only people present in the chat, they will most likely (and often times) REMAIN the only people present, unless multiple others join at once.

Everyone: GASP!

Grandmaster: The conversations we've observed occurring are not even consistent, including the one we've just been made to suffer through just now. I'm not kidding. You could post a picture of one of the monsters from Monsters, Inc. - and bam, the conversation has jumped from that picture to "no please billy, i am only teen" "heheh good one billy. *high fives*". And that's just only one recent example that crapped up.

Everyone: DOUBLE GASP!

Grandmaster: Although you may criticize me, criticize us, for being too anal on the matter, this is not something we will be taking any pleasure out of on unless it inevitably results in a fight. And by Neptune, this fight has been a long time coming, I put the "ass" in "assure" to assure you all of that. The Great Aya, the little that could who has only been here for about a lil over a year and thinks she's above everyone, above you, above me, above us! And Cha, haha! The word "fool" just about sums up her entire being here! Both of them with their little in-jokes and leaving us all in the dark of whatever shit that spews out of those assholes they call mouths. And the sad thing is, you all buy their crap. You are all freakin moronic enough to buy it and run with it as if you really are one of them. We here at Team Rage/Task Force 51/Red Saints don't do that, nosiree bob! I do everything in my power to make everyone feel as though they're apart of The Fat Pack! There's plenty of room with us, it's just that I, WE, take up the entire room. Not even that rat bastard, OMJ, can be considered one of them and he's a member of the original Five, mind you. So if anybody's gonna be kissing any ASS around here, it better be ACS! And if you don't take the time to kiss my ACS, then you better kiss SBM AND SBC GOODBYE BECAUSE I ASSURE YOU, Lochinvar will drop and so will your shits and then followed by your bodies! No one, myselves included, NO ONE will make it out with their online lives intact.

The SBMers all report to the chat mods about Grandmaster's misbehavior, prompting Chaya, well mostly Aya cuz Cha wouldn't do nuttin lol, uses the chat mod powers invested in her to call upon the power of all Ayas to take out The Grandmaster once and for all.

Aya: Hey ACS!

Grandmaster: What? What could you possibly say or do to-

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Aya: Eat this.

Jjs: ACS isn't the only one in this arena with multiple personas! She's been killing it in Smash and now she's gonna prove it all right here in the Dearhmatch Arena!

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Grandmaster: Gladly- !!!

The Ayas fire off their technicolor hair colors and it hits ACS head on. The Grandmaster tries to take in as much of the blast as he could.

Jjs: BAH GAWD WHAT IN NEPTUNE'S NAME IS HE THINKING?! THINK ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS! THINK ABOUT YOUR FAM- oh yeah, right :laugh:

The Ayas' hair dyes manages to blast The Grandmaster off his feet and into the air.

Jjs: Aya's taken that behemoth off his feet and his given him more than he could chew! A Deathmatch first here, folks! And he's heading straight for- THE BROADCAST BOOTH?!

Jjs ducks as the blast makes contact with the broadcast booth of the entrance ramp, ACSploding on impact.

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