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The following program you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein...except maybe Wumbo...

...Anyway, IT'S JUST POSTS!

Wumbo Rumble Part Uno: A Deathmatch Salute to Wumbology

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Jjs: Wumbo steps into the ring for one final time, but will he be leaving here in a body bag? Find out tonight, on Community Deathmatch!

Jjs: Good evening, death fans! I'm jjsthekid!

OMJ: And I'm no fun anymore!

Wumbo: An i'm the best Wumbo!

Jjs: Here to bring you yet another butt-pounding-

Wumbo: hi welcome i love patrick!

Jjs: ...heart-pounding, keyboard-pounding installment of Community Deathmatch!

Wumbo: i am a huge fan of the show!

OMJ: Why thank you, William! You're too kin-

Wumbo: my favorite character is patrick because he adorable idiot.

OMJ: Oh, you're talking about THAT show :troll:

Wumbo: jk! i consider myself as a nice guy but sometime im a bit rude, sarcastic, troll, and acting crazy.

OMJ: So you're just a regular two-faced cuntface cockmaster? I never would've guessed :troll:

Wumbo: one of weird hobby is going to cementery in the middle of the night to search for ghost my other hobbies are watching tv, listening music and playing video games.

Jjs: The Wumbo we have all come to know and love, folks!

OMJ: No homer :funny:

Wumbo: p.s. i hope you all can bear craziness in here tonight :)

OMJ: Well, we had 70s barge up here, Aya commenting with us, E.V.I.L., Sex, PatBack and Crushing to name a few others following her, ooooooofy got thrown to her death from up here one time. Wumbo, I do think this broadcast booth can bear all sorts of craziness this show could throw out in here tonight!

Jjs: After all, this is a very special episode in honor of you!

OMJ: And boy, do we have a very special episode for you folks tonight!

Jjs: Yes Jenks :glare:, as you all may definitely for surious know by now, our dearly beloved, treasured, venerated, decorated, baconated resident Wumbologist will soon part ways with *sniffle* the SpongeBob Community. And we here at deathmatch want to make sure he goes out swingin'!

OMJ: Wait, he's leaving?! Who in Davy Jones' name am I supposed to go to for my annual Wumboloscopy? :(

Sex: :smirk:

OMJ: ...No mic-y...

Sex: Im presbribing you a chill pill old man hussein, you know what Im good for :stinkeye:

Wumbo: dont be sad that wumbo is second to me!

Jjs: Second to you? What the barnacle is going on here?

Suddenly, Wumbo barges into the broadcast booth himself, grabs Wumbo from behind and takes him down to the floor. Wumbo beats Wumbo's face against the hard ground of the broadcast booth, shaking it suggestively and causing the guests in attendance to wonder what's rocking the boat up there.

Jjs: TWO WUMBO'S?

OMJ: Come on, Jjs. I Wumbo, you Wumbo. He, she, we Wumbooooo. It's first grade, go back to school why won't ya!

Wumbo begins fighting back against Wumbo, elbowing him in the ribs before whipping his head back and clocking Wumbo on the nose. He then pokes him in the eyes with his index and middle fingers.

OMJ: BAM! Now how will he look at that bacon sizzle?!

Wumbo reels back and recovers while Wumbo flaunts that Wumbooty to our broadcast team.

Jjs: Jenkins, look at the fight and not at the cheeks mang!

OMJ: KLV2amo.jpg

Wumbo takes advantage of this and grabs Wumbo by the Wumbooty, clamping down on it hard, driving his fingers into it and breaking skin.

OMJ: Swiggity swooty, gotta get dat Wumbooty! thumb.jpg

Wumbo proceeds to tear both cheeks off of Wumbo's posterior, blood and shit gushing everywhere.

Jjs: FOLKS, I- I...don't even know what to say to this.

OMJ: The Wumbooty had him like *breaks squeezes and breaks peach in half* "Millions of peaches, peaches for me!"- DAWW YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKIN 'BOUT.

Jjs: No.

OMJ: Say, do you think I could save those two cheeks so I can hang them above me fireplace?

Jjs: You live in Hawaii, what would you need a fireplace for?

OMJ: ...Pig roast :funny:

Wumbo grabs Wumbo and piledrives him hard to the floor before re-positioning himself over the fallen Wumbo and proceeding to fully break his neck with his patented Lock Lock.

Wumbo: Thank you for that unnecessary and somewhat spammy, off-handed comparison.

Jjs: I can't believe what I'm seeing unfold right before my eyes, folks!

OMJ: Criminy jim-jam! You messed up Wumbo-

GUN7Wzll.jpg

OMJ: RAMA!

Jjs: ....What in the name of all that is Termi's beard?! I don't even wanna know who that was. That Patrick ass explained it all.

OMJ: It's something Cha would wet dream about something fierce, Jjs.

Wumbo: So I hear I'm finally getting my one more match tonight, eh? That last kill not withstanding :funny:

Jjs: Here he is, folks! The man of the hour, it's the true, blue Wumbology himself!

???: Oh, you'll get one more match, alright :whitney:

The camera pans out as Dylan enters the broadcast booth now.

OMJ: Jjs, just how much weight can this booth withstand?

Dylan accidentally steps into the bloody poop left from Wumborama.

Dylan: :awkward:

Wumbo: Dylan?! What do you think you're doing here, eh- Alright, pause for a second here. Can I please stop with the "eh's"?

OMJ: What do you mean? You can't just stop the eh's in the middle of the bloomin' show.

Wumbo: But I don't even say "eh", eh! I mean...

Jjs: You know, he's right.

OMJ: Don't even, Jjs. You're always going against my creative decisions, all the way back to Sea Minors!

Dylan: It's true, and I fuckin' can't even fucking stand the guy on my staff yet here I am vouching for the bitch. That's saying something.

Wumbo: I love you too, asshole.

OMJ: You know what, fuck the eh's! Just freaking ad-lib for all I care,-

OMJ turns right into Jjs' face.

OMJ: HUUUHHH? s-TOMMY-WISEAU-THE-ROOM-MACHINIMA-THE-TO

Wumbo: So we good?

OMJ: We're cherry, just proceed. But I hope you all know that there goes about roughly half of this episode's comedy straight out the fuckin window. No wonder you never won Funniest User :glare:

Wumbo: :stinkeye:

Everybody gets back in their positions.

Wumbo: Dylan?! What do you think you're doing here?!

Jjs: Deathmatch Director-in-Chief, Dylan, has just entered the broadcast booth, folks!

Wumbo: Thank you for the friendly yet somewhat unnecessary reminder. This ain't fucking jeopardy.

Dylan: I heard you yammering on about something other than bacon and music during your last appearance here and I thought that since you're going away for what hopefully will be a long time to come, that maybe I would give you that going away present you want and have coveted so much. Which is why I have dedicated this very special episode to you, my dear. In dedication and what will ultimate be...in tribute to Wumbology.

Wumbo: What the Davy Jone's Locker is that supposed to mean?

Dylan: You're going to die tonight, Wumbo. I assure you, I assure everyone!

Wumbo: What, you plan on doing it yourself? I'd love to see you try.

Dylan: Uhhh, I have done it myself and I did try to very great success as I, and surely everyone else, remembers it : whitney: It was Community Deathmatch's inaugural episode after all, an episode which won the Spinny for Best Pilot, might I add! It'd be absolutely...wait for it...

OMJ: Waiting.

Dylan: SUPERFLUOUS for me to simply do an encore of that performance, though I'm sure people here wouldn't mind. I wanna give that opportunity, that rub to someone else. Someone who could use such an achievement to propel themselves to a higher pantheon of users the likes of which can only be matched by the staff! Higher, even!

OMJ: So is it Someone?

Jjs: Shhh, this is getting tense as all fuck.

Wumbo: Afraid that lightning won't strike twice in your favor. Afraid that I'll take that lightning and redirect it at your ass?

Dylan: I'm only thinking about what's best...wait for it...

OMJ: Wai-

Dylan: FOR BUSINESS!

OMJ: Oh no he didn't say those words!

Jjs: I can't believe it! Dylan's turning Community Deathmatch into a business! And Wumbo looks to be his first layoff! A deathmatch first here, folks!

OMJ: It's a good thing, a very good thing Steel and CDCB aren't on staff anymore!

Dylan: I'm gonna make some changes. I'm kickin ass, takin names and kissin household babies! I'm burning out my safari tabs and I'm burning down time as long as you're in my way, so get your Wumbass in line, down to that ring and await for what fate has in store for you this evening because your date with destiny starts *looks at his invisible watch* RIGHT NOW.

Wumbo and Dylan go nose to nose for a few seconds before Wumbo finally makes his way down to the entrance ramp.

Jjs: Wumbo is now making his way down to the Deathmatch Ring, where referee Elastic Dog is residing!

OMJ: You mean he lives there?

Elastic: It's a pretty nifty place to watch my porn- I mean, D-horror movies!

Jjs: How is he even here, anyway?

Dylan: Screw the logic, I've got doubloons :whitney:

Dylan joins Jjs and OMJ on commentary.

Dylan: Bitches. :whitney:

Jjs & OMJ: Tvguy :awkward:

Dylan: lol it's been a while since people called me that.

Jjs: And it's been a while since I've been called a bitch, so we're even.

Wumbo makes his way down the entrance ramp with a trash can, lock and chains in hand as the side stage lights up, revealing Canadian band, Our Lady Peace, on the stage about to perform Wumbo's theme song. The kickass guitar riffs kick in as they begin performing their hit "Whatever".

OMJ: OUR LADY PEACE, JJS! IT'S OUR LADY PEEEEEACE!!!

Dylan: You're welcome.

SOF: hey, you stole that from me-

Jjs: Shut up, SOF.

OMJ: How in the briny deep did you get them to perform THAT here tonight?

Dylan: You can say it's just one of the perks of running a "business".

Jjs: Why what's up with THAT?

OMJ: Our Lady Peace has never performed this song since the...gosh, you know, I can't quite remember why. I remember Wumbo told me about it one time, but fuck me if I know anything.

Jjs: Wait is this about the wrestler who committed that double murder-suicide?

OMJ: All I'm getting is a blank, but surely if this is Wumbo's theme, you don't think he's gonna kill two people and then kill himself, do you?

Jjs: Well, he already killed one person.

OMJ: Oh dear... *gets on iphone*

Jjs: Just who do you think you're calling during a deathmatch like this?

OMJ: The suicide help-me hotline.

Dylan: Fuck wrestling, I miss football :(Note to self: start up SBC Football League to eventually replace deathmatch.

Jjs: Anyways, why don't we just finally take a look at the tape!

Wumbo

Join Date: January 24, 2010

User Rank: Fry Cook Legend

Group: Cashiers

Active Posts: 22286

Profile Views: 201471

Member Title: Arthur Nixon

Age: 19 years old

Birthday: June 19, 1995

Gender: Male

Interests: Meh.

Location: America's hat

Favorite Episode: Dying for Pie

Favorite Character: Used Napkin

Jjs: Hailing from America's Hat!

OMJ: He puts the "Eric" in "America's Hat", Jjs!

Dylan: Canada sux lol

Jjs: A certified Fry Cook Legend with over four years of experience under his Mermaid Man utility belt! He steps into the ring tonight, a Cashier!

OMJ: Don't you mean "C-C-C-Co-Cashier?!" now?

Jjs: He has accumulated a grand total of 22,286 posts!

OMJ: He used to be on the verge of top poster time and time again, but we all know how that ended up :troll:

Jjs: Yes, but don't discredit Arthur Nixon yet.

Dylan: What a crook. And ironic that he, too, is also resigning from his post here.

Jjs: But he also has 200k+ profile views.

OMJ: People come for the Wumbooty and by Neptune they stay for the Wumbooty, Jjs!

Jjs: He just celebrated a birthday a little over two months ago and enters at the ripe ole age of 19. He's a he-

OMJ: But he's got the Wumbooty of an angel!

Jjs: His interests are meh!

OMJ: Oh dear... *gets back on phone*

Jjs: His favorite episode is Dying For Pie!

OMJ: ...Hello, is this the Suicide Help-Me Hotline.

Milkmaidman: Oh baby. Oh baby. Oh baby. http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BLo5_S8CIAAdKsI.jpg:large

Jjs: And his favorite character is none other than Used Napkin!

OMJ: ...I have a friend who feels like he's used and could very well be on the edge. Metaphorically speaking of course! You'd love to have him? Great, he just has to go kill some poor sap first, but after that you'll be free to come right on over!

Jjs: But lets not forget his list of other accomplishments!

Dylan: For what? Did he even win a damn award?!

Jjs: Why, yes he did. He won Best Member during the last GCA's to be exact, but he is also a Spin-Off Hall of Famer amongst what I hope to be other community accolades!

OMJ: And he was the first member to win the SBC Wrestling World Championship!

Jjs: Is that even still a thing?

Dylan: Anywho, enough of that bitch fucker! Lets hurry on up and bring out his opponent for the evening!

Jjs: You know, Dylan, I am curious as to why you won't just fight Wumbo again yourself. Especially given your tumultuous history with one another. Why skip out on the opportunity like a, how do you say it, bitch?

Dylan: Because Jjs, my dear, sweet, "best admin in the community" butt plugger, Jjs, these people didn't pay their hard earned doubloons just to watch me no doubt repeat history here again! They came here to get there doubloon's worth, to get more bang for their buck even. They paid to see this man! Who you will see riiiiiight now with the best entrance doubloons can buy.

Shin casually walks out to the entrance ramp now, all dressed up in his suit and tie for the occasion. He has a microphone in hand.

Jjs: Leopold?

OMJ: Leopold?!

Shin adjusts his tie and cuffs, the spotlight now shining down on him. Another spotlight also shines down on the side stage where the Suction Cup Symphony Orchestra are now standing by with their instruments. They start playing as Shin takes a deep breath and places the mic near his mouth. A somewhat familiar booty emerges from the entrance way now, looking quite extravagant.

OMJ: Oh why don't you just come out like this already

CpcjkqMl.jpg

Jjs: I've got nothin.

OMJ: You all should get out of your Nintendo circle jerk once in a while and play some real fuckin games! :stinkeye:

Shin: ♪Wumbolooooo! He is your favorite Wumbolooooo! You knooooow that he's your favorite Wumbolooooo! And he knows it tooooo!♪

Dylan: *tears* Such a beautiful singing voice...

OMJ: We can agree on something :cry:

Suddenly, Wumbolo makes his way out onto the stage in an expensive looking gold hooded robe. He starts posing and flexing his own Wumbooty to the tune of the song, working those glutes like no one's, not even Wumbo's, business.

OMJ: Just shut up Shin and take my money!

OMJ sobs as he takes all the doubloons out of his account and rains it down on Wumbolo below them. Wumbolo reaches his hand out to catch some of them like raindrops before pocketing them in his robe. He now sticks his tongue out to catch and swallow a few doubloons more like snowflakes. He slowly makes his way to the ring, strutting his Wumbooty as Wumbo keeps eying him out. Shin takes out his iPhone to show us Sauce Mama, live via Keek from whatever hole she's trapped herself in. Shin puts the mic next to his phone's screen.

Sauce: ♪Wumbolooooo. He says- *keek ends, new keek starts* he's your favorite Wumbolooooo! You knooooow he is your fa- *keek ends, new keek starts* vorite Wumbolooooo! And he knows it tooo- *loud kids outside interrupts her* ooooo!♪

OMJ: Does it sound like she's saying "tiny buttholes" to you guys too?

The guests in attendance start throwing their doubloons, clothes, personal belongings, anything worth something at their favorite Wumbolo, who does a little disrobing tease for them for their hard-earned doubloons and belongings.

OMJ: Well, there goes my pants.

Jjs: I can't believe it, I thought the EOTM Curse took it's toll on Mr. Wumbolo, but here he is!

OMJ: *wipes eyes* With such grace, such majesty!

Dylan: Such Debbie! No! All the Debbie's in the world wouldn't be able to match up to his likeness. Not even Whitney! Bitches, you are looking at the genuine article when it comes to the study of Wumbo!

Shin and Sauce nod at each other before belting out

Shin & Sauce: ♪WUMBOLOOOOO! HE IS YOUR FAVORITE WUMBOLOOOO! YOU KNOW HE IS YOUR FAVORITE WUMBOLOOOO! AAAAAND HE KNOWS IT TOOOOO!♪

Shin lets out a few air horns for good measure.

Shin: BRR BRR BRR BRRRRRRRRR

Wumbolo

Join Date: January 2, 2013

User Rank: Jellyfisher

Group: Customers

Active Posts: 893

Profile Views: 55613

Member Title: Your favorite wumbolo[↓]

Age: Age Unknown

Birthday: Birthday Unknown

Gender: Male

Location: WumboLand

Dylan: He's your favorite Wumbolo and mine, hailing from none other than WumboLand! Bitches, you can't possibly get anymore Wumbo than this!

Jjs: He joined the Community a little less than three years after his opponent and he is only a mere Jellyfisher compared to his opponent-

Dylan: But nevertheless, Jjs, that ranking will increase exponentially, not if, ONCE he kills Wumbo here tonight! And don't let the "Customer" branding fool you, this user is an elite member of the cloth. A fellow businessman, if you will. People line up to see him, they're HIS customers! He's an entrepreneur who started up quite a few shops and even a few games here in his time. Businesses of which I would have loved to personally have had a stake in, but that tyrant in the ring, that uncouth Mountie took it upon himself to shut the whole lot of them down before they even had a chance to get off the ground! So Wumbolo came to me with a business proposition, he liquidate my "asset", emphasis on the ass...for a sizable fee of course!

Jjs: So he's your mercenary?

Dylan: You all foolishly think Wumbo's good for the Community, good for business, but let me tell you, that bitch crushes dreams! He breaks users down right out of the gate with his neo-totalitarianistic socialism, but that all ends tonight at the hands of your favorite, Wumbolo!

Jjs: Well, I don't think there's anything more to be said here.

Dylan: Lets not short change the man here, Jjs! He is also the first and only recipient of patrick123's honorary First Cititzen of SBC City Award for being first legally recognized citizen!

Jjs: Where you do find this droll?

OMJ: I like to think I put a lot of effort and budget into my research department.

Wumbolo enters the ring, gets up on one of the corner turnbuckles and finally disrobes himself to another round of doubloons from the guests in attendance.

OMJ: He looks sorta different from what I remember.

Dylan: Oh yes, I paid to have that horrendous "H" surgically removed from his username. Along with a few other improvements.

OMJ: No way, because I was just about to say what the fuck was up with that capital H! I mean, "WHumbolo"?!

Dylan: INORITE? Of all his business decisions that was truly the only one that confuzzled me to all hell.

Wumbolo turns to Wumbo and they exchange looks as the orchestra dies down.

Wumbolo: :stinkeye:

Wumbo: :glare:

Wumbolo switches the M on his utility belt to W for Wumbo before hopping back down and meeting Wumbo in the middle of the ring.

Elastic: Alright you two fine pieces of Wumbooty, I want a good, clean fight! So by all means, swiggity swooty to get each other's Wumbooties all you want. Any last requests?!

Wumbo: Check out my blog!

OMJ: Where the fuck is the link?

Wumbolo: You may as well withdraw your life savings while you can now before I cash in on it.

Elastic: Well then LETS GET IT ON!

Jjs: And finally, we have an official deathmatch officially underway!

Wumbo gets into his locking stance as Wumbolo simply stands there with his hands on his hips.

Wumbolo: Tell you what, my dear Wumboy. I'm going against my way of life to give you a "freebie", a "free shot" if you're so kind as I. And please, please. I suggest you take it and run with it for as long and as far as you possibly can because an offer like this isn't something I give ou-

Wumbo nails him in the chest with a sharp knife edge chop. Wumbolo steps back in pain that he tries to mask.

Wumbolo: OOH, I sure did get my money's worth ther-

Wumbo chops him in the chest again, reddening it.

Wumbolo: OOH, so good I went back for seconds, and this time with gusTO-

Wumbo clocks him with a hard right hook in the kisser, knocking Wumbolo off his feet.

OMJ: And Wumbolo gets knocked down flat on his wumbooty!

Jjs: Maybe now he'll think twice before giving out free samples ever again!

Dylan: You see, that's the difference between these two Wumboys. Wumbolo is willing to give the little guy a chance to defend himself. Big Bad Wumbooty over there will never give anyone the time of day!

Wumbolo tries to collect himself, crawling away as Wumbo slowly approaches him.

Wumbolo: Alright, no more hand outs for you.

Wumbolo kicks back at Wumbo's ankle, causing Wumbo to kneel down in pain. Wumbolo picks himself up and lands a stiff kick to Wumbo's head. He then puts Wumbo in a headlock before driving him face first into his knee twice before driving him face first onto the ring canvas with all his weight on Wumbo's head.

Jjs: And Wumbolo quickly changes the tide into his favor!

Dylan: What did I tell you, bitches! This user can adapt. This user has been bred to survive any situation be it financial or life threatening!

Wumbolo flattens Wumbo's face onto the ring canvas repeatedly before picking his head up after the sixth smash.

Wumbolo: The Glove World market here is looking pretty flat as of late, like your face!

Wumbo suddenly springs back into action, grabs Wumbolo right up off of his laid out body and takes himself out with a backbreaker right on top of his knee.

Wumbo: I'm just an unsatisfied customer looking for some pay back!

Wumbo mounts on top of Wumbolo and pelts him with some vicious rights and lefts. Wumbolo tries fighting back with some rights and lefts of his own.

Jjs: I'm curious again, why did you choose Wumbolo of all people to try and kill Wumbo. Certainly there are better qualified users out there?

OMJ: Yeah, I mean, Clappy might not see me as killer material for ATTWL, but I can assure you that I ain't no goddamn pushover!

Dylan: It's all about protecting the brand, bitches. I may want Wumbo dead, but I don't want the study of Wumbo to die along with him. Wumbo is just another spoke in the wheel that helps make this community go round. In other words, out with the old, in the with the new. It's a practice I put to good use during my power struggle with 70s and it sure as shit will be put to good use now! Wumbolo will keep Wumbology alive even after Wumbo's gone. Did you know that Wumbolo tried to set up a school, an entire thread, dedicated to getting users to learn about the study of Wumbology, for a nominal fee of course? It was something that could've proved beneficial, but did Wumbo thought the same? No! He locked it down before it could even receive any takers! He was just like "fuck you and fuck your school, just stare at my ass, the Wumbooty is all you need!"

OMJ: You're saying its not?

Dylan: Of course not! And if this goes well as to be expected, I'll commence implementing more similar measures on other users.

OMJ: You can't?

Dylan: Oh I can't, can't I? http://www.thesbcommunity.com/forums/index.php?/user/3172-old-man-mr-meeseeks/

OMJ: Oh that's just dickish :stinkeye:

Wumbolo drives his thumbs into Wumbo's eyes, which Wumborama gouged at earlier. He then headbutts Wumbo off of him.

Wumbolo: I don't see why everyone's so bent out of shape about you leaving. No matter, their pain will be only temporary once I bend you out of shape in their stead!

Wumbolo slams Wumbo to the mat, grabs him by the legs and applies a good ole Canadian sharpshooter on him to add further insult to injury.

OMJ: I can't believe it! Wumbolo's just locked in the Sharpshooter on Wumbo, a staple of the Hart wrestling family from right up north, itself!

Jjs: That was surprisingly informative.

OMJ: What can I say, I do wrestling. Sigh, it's about the only thing I'm really good for.

Wumbolo wrenches back on Wumbo's back, causing him all sorta of pain.

Jjs: Wumbolo looks to want to break Wumbo smack dab in half, goshdangit!

Dylan: Yes, that's right. Snap him, Wumbolo! Snap ep em like a-

OMJ: disney-sorry-aladdin-oops-robin-williams Where you goin, slim jim :funny:

Elastic periodically checks on Wumbo to see if he's still in it. The crowd starts chanting "Wumbo!" giving Wumbo the strength to try and will himself.

Wumbolo: You hear that? They're cheering, cheering for me!

Wumbo suddenly raises himself off the ground with whatever power he can stimulate in his arms, surprising Wumbolo a bit.

Wumbo: No...they're cheering for ME!

Wumbo transfers all the strength he has into his legs in order to power Wumbolo away and break his hold over him.

Jjs: Bah gawd, Wumbo's broken the Sharpshooter!

Dylan: Dumb fuckin luck.

Wumbolo: I'm not gonna let some cheap knockoff degrade the genuine article!

Wumbolo charges at Wumbo for some offense, but Wumbo manages to user block each hit Wumbolo threw at him before countering with some offense of his own. He he clocks Wumbolo twice in the face, kicks him in the ribs about three times, delivers a vicious knee to his sternum and one to his jaw and capping it off by knife edge chopping everyone's favorite Wumbolo into a corner, drawing more and more blood on his chest with each chop connecting.

Jjs: Still think your chosen one is all you cracked him up to be?

Dylan: it ain't over yet, bitch!

Jjs: Wumbo is always on when it counts, Dylan. There's no way that Wumboy of your's can hold a candle to him!

Wumbo: AAHH!

Back in the ring, Wumbolo had just burned Wumbo's face with a lit candle.

Dylan: You were saying? :whitney:

Wumbolo proceeds to shove the rest of the wax candle in Wumbo's face, burning him some more.

Wumbolo: How's that for literal?!

Wumbolo hoists Wumbo up before slamming him back down with a Patent.

Jjs: Oooh, Wumbolo just manhandling Wumbo with his patented Patent!

OMJ: He's trying to take the rights to the Wumbooty away from the Wumbooty, Jjs!

Wumbo: That move serves no purpose. Locked.

Wumbo locks Wumbolo in the face with some vicious rights hooks left and right, knocking him off his feet with each hit Wumbolo rebounds from.

Jjs: Wumbo is poppin, lockin and droppin his opponent like a mad man!

OMJ: What are the odds he would ever review that song? Ever? Wumbo pls

Dylan: He should be disqualified for such an aggravated assault!

Wumbo goes for another lock, but Wumbolo manages to duck it, runs the ring ropes and nails Wumbo head on with his very own Wumbooty for a Rear View.

OMJ: Talk about a head-on collision, folks!

Jjs: A Rear View applied directly to Wumbo's forehead!

Wumbolo slaps dem cheeks a lil before plopping his bum all over Wumbo's face, squeezing his cheeks in between his cheeks.

Jjs: Wumbolo is wrenching away at Wumbo's face like it's some sort of chair!

Dylan: Some sorta chair?

Wumbolo exercises those butt muscles some more and begins to raise Wumbo up from the ground by his face before spinning him around, letting his cheeks go and sending Wumbo flying back into one of the corner turnbuckles.

Wumbolo: :buttclap:

OMJ: He ain't going for what I think he's going for, is he?

Dylan: That smiley was brought back for a reason, bitches, and this is it!

Wumbolo proceeds to gives himself a wedgie by raising his undies as high as he possibly could. He then aims his Wumbooty at Wumbo's face before backing it up towards Wumbo's face.

Jjs: Oh, I can't watch!

Dylan grabs Jjs' face and peels his eyes open.

Dylan: You'll watch and you will click like it as your precious Wumbo is slowly buttfucked out of consciousness and into a well-deserved grave!

Right before Wumbolo's ass makes contact, Wumbo manages to block it by kicking him away. Wumbolo's tries backing it up again but is once again met with similar results. He goes for a charmful third time, but Wumbo gets up to his feet and firmly grasps both cheeks in his hands, squeezing away at it like he did so to Wumborama before him.

Wumbolo: Hey, hey, hey! I said no freebies!

Wumbolo's cheeks inflate, overtaking and knocking Wumbo back into the corner. Wumbolo then boxes away at Wumbo's face with both cheeks, bruising and bloodying him some more.

Dylan: Haha! Wumbolo possesses the best Wumbooty that doubloons can buy!

OMJ: So it's not even real? Is my whole life a lie too?

Wumbolo: Time for you to cash out, my brother in Wumbology. Consider this your study of eulogy.

Wumbolo inflates his Wumbooty some more and goes to slam Wumbo in the face again with a final Rear View, but Wumbo counters it out by whipping his own Wumbooty out at Wumbolo's somehow knocking him away with greater force.

OMJ: This is just too much for any of us to handle!

Wumbolo: Do. Not. Ever. COPY Me!!!!!!

Wumbolo bounces on his ass towards Wumbo in full force, but Wumbo manages to catch him in midair with his trademark Buttplug

Jjs: This could very well be bad for Wumbolo as Wumbo has him tightly onto his Buttplug!

Dylan: You know, that stick Wumbo has up his ass whenever he locks and trashes threads all milli vanilli!

Wumbo proceeds to swing him into the turnbuckle like a baseball before tossing him off to the side to set up for the big finish.

Jjs: This could be it, folks! Wumbo is signaling for the end here with his signature finisher! If you thought you've seen Patrick' Big Break, then prepare yourselves for Patrick's Big Ass!

Wumbo preps his real Wumbooty up for the death blow and pounces, but Wumbo switches his utility belt from W to M for Mini, shooting at and shrinking the Wumbooty down a few dress sizes before effortlessly kicking the Wumbooty away like the nothing that it has been reduced to.

Jjs: I can't believe it! Wumbolo has just shrunk everybody's favorite Wumbooty!

Dylan: Canada's once greatest export has just been deflated! Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Rob Ford!

OMJ: THAT FIEND!

Jjs: Jenkins, don't be a goddamn hero!

OMJ gets up from his seat and attempts to jump down there, but Jjs holds him back.

OMJ: KILL HIM KILL HIM KILL HIM! I'LL TEAR HIM LIMB FROM LIMB! CHEEK FROM MOTHERCLUCKING CHEEK!

Wumbo gets himself back to up to his feet to survey the damage done to his hiney.

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Dylan: Dangmanguhthatabelikehankhillsassman.

Wumbo: You could take away my Tim Horton's, but when you take away my booty, that's when I get politely mad!

Wumbolo: Now that's something to laugh aboot(y) :funny:

Wumbolo suddenly receives a message in his inbox.

Wumbolo: Oh, excuse me- HOLY SHRIMP!

Jjs and Dylan also receive messages in their inbox.

Jjs: Now just who the barnacle could this be- GOOD GRIEF, SHE'S NAKED!

Dylan: Excuse me while go do considerably more unspeakable, innovative things in the comfort of the staff lounge.

OMJ: What? What is it? I didn't get nothin!

Wumbo: Me neither, eh!

Elastic: Holy Fishpaste! I've seen enough Tetsuo to know where that's going!

Wumbolo: I just want her to fuck me and take my money.

While everyone in the Deathmatch Arena besides OMJ are busy ogling this mass PM, Wumbo uses this distraction to his advantage, spins Wumbolo around and proceeds to knife edge chop the stuffing out of his fake Wumbooty, slowly cutting away at his skin.

Wumbolo: AH EE OH OOH AHHH AHHHHH EEEEEE OW OOOHHH!

OMJ: Knife-edge spanks more like it. Jjs, look at at the fight and not at the chest, mang!

Jjs: The Booby has me like 5243977+_0f6cad9cae91cc06a8d2eb643fa0987 that, OMJ!

OMJ: I don't call myself Tit Man Jenkins, Jjs! It's not as catchy!

Wumbo backs Wumbolo into a corner, preparing his anus for what's to come.

Wumbo: Lighten up, man. Pull the stick out your ass, eh.

Wumbo forcefully extracts the buttlplug from Wumbolo's butthole, causing some blood to come squirting out. Wumbolo tries fighting out of it by inflating his implants, but Wumbo isn't back down from dat ass. Wumbo whips out his trademark Coral Drive and aims it to Wumbolo's land down under.

Wumbo: Listen here, you cheap knock-off artist. I'm gonna be unnecessarily blunt and somewhat literal when I say I am going to "Poppy your Puff". Neptune forgive me, but I'm locking this deathmatch down!

Wumbo proceeds to Coral Drive right into the imposter Wumbooty, Wumbolo screaming in pain and agony as Wumbo drills so.

Zaid: I love moments like these :laugh:

Wumbo lifts Wumbolo into the air, still coral driving away at his innards before grabbing hold of Wumbolo's implants and leaping high into the air.

OMJ: IT CAN'T BE?!

Jjs: I know! These tits just can't be real, they just can't be!

OMJ: It's-It's the NIAGARA FALL!

Wumbo forcefully dislodges his Coral Drive from Wumbolo's rectum before throwing him back down into the ring with great force.

Dylan: Wumbolo, land on your bottom! It'll break your fall!

Wumbolo listens and turns his body around so he can land flat on his ass, but his implants explodes on contact, blowing his pelvis up along with them as his blood and drilled up innards burst out all around the arena.

Jjs: Wumbolo has broken his fall alright, into a million chunky bite-sized pieces!

OMJ: Like Campbell's soup, or should I say Wumbo's soup!

Now with his upper body severed from his lower limbs, Wumbolo crawls over to Wumbo in vain.

Wumbolo: Dont think...even for a second...that this is over. I'll be back! I can save myself! I have...the money...

Wumbo proceeds to put a lock on him and drags his limp upper body to a nearby trash compactor.

Wumbo: Well one Wumbolo's trash is another Wumbolo's treasure.

Wumbo trashes whatever's left of Wumbolo into the compactor. Elastic waltzes over and surveys it as Wumbolo utters his dying screams.

Elastic: He's about as fucked as you can be.

He raises Wumbo's arm.

Elastic: WINNER, WUMBOLOGY!

Jjs: By Neptune, Wumbo's done it! He's cleaned up another fine mess that Dylan's made for him! He's the one Wumbo to stand above ALL Wumbos!

Dylan: I don't understand, it wasnt supposed to be like thiiiiiiis :awkward:

OMJ: This ain't no time for celebration, Jjs! It's gone!

Jjs: Jenkins, just because Wumbo's leaving, it doesn't mean he-

OMJ: Not him! I'm talking about the Wumbooty!

Jjs: Oh right, that.

In the ring, Wumbo grabs hold of Wumbolo's mermaid man utility belt and holds it up in the air like championship title.

Wumbo: And now just one more thing to shrink. Cheese!

Wumbo proceeds to shrink the entire arena.

Wumbo: Since I can't make the Wumbooty big again, I decided to make the rest of the Community small!

Jjs: I guess this is okay.

OMJ: Yeah, what's the difference!

Jjs: Great idea, Wumbo!

Dylan: Oh whoop dee dee! Vintage Wumbo, thinking out of his ass!

OMJ: It's where all his brain is <3

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Ep just abruptly cut off at the end there for some reason and I can't edit the rest in, so here it is, I guess...

Meanwhile, Clappy makes his return to the Community from a vacation to the beach.

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Clappy: Oh haha guys, I know I'm tall :stinkeye:

Back in the Deathmatch Arena, Wumbo continues to celebrate the restoration of the Wumbooty in the ring as the guests chant

Guests: One more match! One more match! One more match!

Jjs: The guests want an encore! A raucous ovation for a somewhat raucous member!

Dylan: :whitney: If it's one more match they want, ohhhhh buddeh, one more match they will get.

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Here goes the probs inferior part two!

The following program you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein...except maybe Wumbo...

...Anyway, IT'S JUST POSTS!

Wumbo Rumble Part Dos: A Deathmatch Salute to Wumbology

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Jjs: Now lets take some time out of these regularly scheduled festivities to hear a few words from a very special user whose life Wumbo has touched the most of many!

Trophy: Cowabunga Flipsieeh! it was quite honor working with you on PitF, I love you with all my Heart, Man :funny: now let me have your Wumbabies in my belly!

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OMJ: I...I think that was Wumbo's last chance to go home base with Trophy.

Jjs: Well Jenks, you can be damn sure someone's cannon will be exploding during that seventh inning stretch! Haha! Sports.

OMJ: Someone has a penis?!

Dylan: Oh will two bitches SHUT THE FUCK UP! :whitney: I have a very important announcement to make, please take notice of the pin attached to this said announcement!

Elastic: It looks kinda sticky ;)

Dylan: Or the sticky, whichever you idiots, you morons, you imbeciles may want to refer to as such! You want to see one more match, I sure as sugar wanna see one more match, and I'm as sure as that Wumbooty is legit that Dumbo down there wants to have one more match! So how's about it, bitches? Lets have ourselves, wait for it...ONE. MORE. MATCH?

Jjs: And just who the Dylan is his opponent possibly gonna be?!

Dylan: You all already had a little sneak peek at my little "insurance policy" :awkward:

Wumbo: I didn't :glare:

OMJ: Me too :stinkeye:

Jjs: You can't possibly mean-

The camera focus back towards the entrance where two very feminine-looking shadow figures are dancing seductively behind a curtain as "Call Me" by Blondie plays on the soundstage.

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Clappy: Blondie's biggest hit 1980 single and second #1 charter on the Billboard Hot 100, "Call Me", was also the featured theme song for 1980's critically acclaimed drama, "American Gigolo", written and directed by Paul Schrader! Or in Wumbo's case, Canadian Gigolo! :funny:

Dylan: Do I have to fucking roast you again? :glare:

Clappy: I'm 2tall :glare:

Dylan: Get outta here!

Clappy: A-hyuk hyuk hyuk!

Clappy chuckles and stomps away from the arena. The curtain lifts up to reveal Jenna4 and Cherrys.

Elastic: Hellooo ladies!

OMJ: 83WPddn.jpg What a fox!

Jjs: Dear Neptune, I can't believe it's them!

OMJ: Well who the fuck are they, exactly?

Dylan: Two of the realest bitches to have ever graced our humble community! :whitney:

Jjs: To put it in some retrospect, yes! They are both real and they are both bitches as real bitches can get, both having quite the infamous reputation for trying to seduce and bed fellow members of our fine, innocent community through way of private messaging! Jenna tried to bed everyone-

OMJ: Except Wumbo and I, of course!

Wumbo: Of course :glare:

Jenna: Don't worry, baby we'll work things out. <3

Jjs: While Cherrys tried to get in the pants of both our very own SOF and CDCB respectively!

Dylan: And breaking your heart in the process, might I add :whitney:

Jjs: No! :(

OMJ: Woah woah woah, back it up! She tried getting into SOF and CDCB's pants? Of all the xat goers?!

OMJ bursts out laughing

Jjs: Don't fucking rub it in, Old Man.

OMJ: And SOF botched the piss out of his climax, I'm assuming! "wait k her it cums *seamen flos everywhere* you're welcum."

Dylan: Bitch can't even spell his way out of Reader Rabbit!

OMJ: I bet he actually pissed instead of ejaculating! And dafuq, CDCB? He couldn't even handle my middle finger Jesus avatar, let alone a sexual experience! The guy still watches VHS tapes on a VCR, that's more ancient than I am! "Inserting tape now, OHHHH don't forget to rewind!"

Dylan: What the fuck did Jelly Otter think about this lol

Jjs: :stinkeye: Collectively, they are known as the Private Messaging Sisters!

Dylan: Also known as, PMS!

Jenna and Cherry head down to the ring all sexily.

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Wumbo starts to nervously sweat bacon grease as they come one down all slowly and seductively, grabbing hold of each other's asses as they do so for even more hotter effect.

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Jjs: Dylan, what in Neptune's deep blue sea were you thinking when you brought these two crazy broads back into the equation?!

Dylan: I didn't really bring them back at all, you have your old man to thank for that!

OMJ: I don't recall

OMJ: ...I have a friend who feels like he's used and could very well be on the edge. Metaphorically speaking of course! You'd love to have him? Great, he just has to go kill some poor sap first, but after that you'll be free to come right on over!

OMJ: :awkward:

Dylan: And come right on over they did :whitney:

Jjs: Haha! Double entendres.

Dylan: Consider it Wumbo's first and, indeed, last Wumbooty Call.

Cherry and Jenna proceed to grind their booties against those ring ropes like no Wumbo's business.

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OMJ: SICK GRINDS!

Dr. Sex runs out and dances a little jig outside the ring.

Dr. Sex: Shake it, yeah! Shake it! Shake that bubble butt! Woo! :smirk:

OMJ: He fucking scares me, gaiz.

Dylan: You know what you should really be afraid of? Wumbo in any sort of position of power anywhere!

Jenna: Did he just call us fat?

Cherry exits the ring and begins rubbing herself all over Dr. Sex. She grabs his crotch and begins to stimulate his sexual urges. She massages his increasingly rapidly throbbing cock. Once it's fully erect, she kneels down and unzips his pants. He places her lips over where the sun don't shine, salivating over it.

Jjs: You know, this really, really looks like something out of Aya's ask thread that we really, really can go without saying if I do say so myself.

Dylan: Speak for yourself, fagot :whitney:

Elastic: Damn bitch, making me jealous! :funny:

Wumbo just stares back at Elastic, befuddled.

Elastic: Jealous of Yianni, I mean! :awkward:

Sex starts to climax when his sensation of pleasure suddenly changes into a sensation of pain. He screams, yet keeps up his smirk, as Cherry chomps down on his manhood, drawing blood and even some semen out. She pulls and tugs at his crotch with all her might until she fully rips Sex's genitals straight of his crotch before spitting it out onto the ground next to him.

Elastic: I'm still pretty fucking jealous tbh.

Jjs: Now that, folks, is what I truly call a "boner killer"!

Sex: Still a...happier...ending than...The Mist...:funny:

Sex smirks before collapsing to the ground in a puddle of his own blood, urine and semen.

Jjs: So do we have a sextape of some sort of these lusty ladies, or can we just gawk, babble and stare at them some more.

OMJ: *destroys the tapes* Oops, I dropped them in the toilet!

Jjs: Well that settles that! *stares*

Dylan: Fuckin fagots.

Jjs: But you have to wonder just what is going through Wumbo's mind right now. He's about to go up against somebody who, well, really didn't want anything to do with him in the first place!

Dylan: And could you blame her, really? I wouldn't so much as PM his Wumbass with a 10 foot pole, Jjs! Wumbo is the ultimate cockblock in every sense of the word! You post anything that looks the very least unnecessary and/or somewhat spammy, you can bet your bottom doubloon that you'll be blocked and trashed faster than you folks will finish reading through what I'm saying right now! This Mountie fuck gets his Wumbass all butthurt over this whole Jenna thing, but really, would he have liked it? Wouldn't it go against his so-called "moral code"? I don't think he would even so much as like it, Jjs! He wouldn't even scroll over the like button. And you know why?

Jjs: I can think of a few goo-

Dylan: It's because he's a fagot, Jjs! Plain and simple.

Jjs: Isn't saying that against the rules?

Dylan: Fuck the rules, I have power :whitney:

OMJ: But all that biased, one-sided, single minded, Dylan bullshit aside tho, no offense sir.

Dylan: Uhp7YkYl.jpg

OMJ: Who would dare deny the Wumbooty charm?! It's magically bootylicious! I just don't get it.

Jjs: Maybe it's the way he's dressed.

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OMJ: Are you saying I'm badly dressed? :glare:

Jjs: Maybe it's his voice?

Wumbo: Eheheheheheheheheheheheh! :laugh: Good one, eh. :okay:

Dylan: Well, maybe it's just because he's ugly lol :awkward:

OMJ: Are you saying I'm ugly? :stinkeye:

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Jjs: It's better to try the reflection test, just to be safe.

Jenna: I have a mirror right here ;D

Jenna holds a full length mirror in front of Wumbo. Wumbo gives two thumbs up.

Wumbo: Ehhhh-

Jenna hoists the mirror up and breaks it through Wumbo's skull, cutting him up something fierce.

OMJ: WUMZIE!

Jjs: And Jenna fires the first shot!

Dylan: I'm gonna have to disrespectfully disagree with you yet again, Jjs, in saying that I'm pretty sure Elastic fired the first shot the moment she came out. Don't ask how I even have an eye for these things, I just do :whitney:

Jjs: Ah, yes, those news threads of your's will indeed back that statement up.

OMJ: And speaking of backing up, Jjs, look who's coming to our broadcast booth right now! Innuendo fully intended.

Cherry: Hello, Jjs ;)

Cherry greets as she lays herself out on their broadcast table and spreads her legs in front of all three of them.

OMJ: ...Now that's Cherry :funny:

Meanwhile, back in the ring. Elastic tries to restrain Jenna from inflicting anymore harm to Wumbo, copping a few feels as he does so.

Elastic: Hold it right there! We haven't even officially got this deathmatch on yet!

He finally pulls her away and forcefully backs her up into the corner, rubbing his body all over her's as he does so.

Elastic: Now, any last requests?!

Wumbo: I-

Elastic: Ladies first, Wumbo! Come on baby boo, anything? Requests, favors, you want an afro ride? uvWKAiw.jpg

Jenna smiles and fondles Elastic Dog's lipstick before grabbing hold of it tight and pushing him back to the center of the ring in pain.

Jenna: I'm about give Wumbo what he's always wanted. I'm gonna fuck him. Hard.

Wumbo gets the glass out of his eyes and face and assumes his position.

Wumbo: Likewise.

Elastic: Well by all means, GET IT ON!

Jjs: And the second match of this aptly named Wumbo Rumble finally gets onderway!

Jenna and Wumbo engage each other, trading blows.

Jjs: And there they go, trading blows as if they're trading away cookie recipes!

Dylan: Or STDs.

OMJ: And speaking of cookies, Cherry's are hanging out.

Elastic: Alright! I'm gonna have to stop ya right here! This is something I just won't allow!

Elastic gets in the middle of them and breaks em up.

Elastic: Now Wumbo, I'm allowing to to strike her. Closed fist.

Wumbo closes his fist.

Elastic: Closerrrrrrrrr. There ya go! Now take that fist and just shove it, break it on through Jenna's sweet ass! And Jenna, I want you to firmly grasp Wumbo's hooha! His hooha. His HOO-ha. HIS DICK, WOMAN! That's the spot! Now I want you both to first go like this, spin around, STOP. And Jenna, you double take it three times.

Jenna double takes it three times.

Elastic: 1-2-3! And then PELVIC THRUST!

Wumbo: *thrusts* Woohoo!

Jenna: *thrusts* Woohoo!

Elastic: Wumbo, step on your right foot, DONT FORGET IT!

Wumbo steps down on his right foot.

Elastic: And now it's time to bring it around, bring it a-round toooown. And then you do this.

Elastic has Jenna spank Wumbo on his ass.

Elastic: And this.

He has Wumbo motorboat her before having them rock each other's bodies like thunder over sideways and under on a magic boatmobile ride.

Elastic: And this! And that! And this! And that! And this! And that! And then....

Elastic frees a butterfly from a cage.

Elastic: You see that, now that's arthouse! Now, if you could both repeat that all again for my camera.

Jjs: Elastic is directing traffic in the ring as if it's like a three-way-

OMJ: Four-way! :troll:

Jjs: Three-way intersection!

Dylan: Well, we are talking about the same guy who wrote and directed that SBC Porn lit that only lasted like an episode or two. What'd you expect.

Wumbo and Jenna decide to fuck it and get back to the match. Wumbo manages to block a few of her punches and begins taking control with some well-calculated knife-edged Chopping Blocks before connecting some heavy blows right to her face, but it seems to barely phase her.

OMJ: Something tells she's suffered blows to face before, Jjs!

Jjs: Jenna seems to be absorbing those Wumblows like some sorta eeeviiilll sponge!

Dylan: For her sake, I hope she has some sort of sponge on her. Who would ever want to conceive his hell spawn?

OMJ: Trophy gave the impression.

Dylan: Aside from that sports humping fagot.

Jjs: Aren't you a jock?

Dylan: Big difference, bitches. Big difference, below the belt and under the jock strap.

Meanwhile, Cherry keeps getting in the broadcast team's way by spreading her legs out farther.

OMJ: Baby, you put the "broad" in this broadcast booth :funny:

Jjs: Will you quit your incessant spreading, woman! We're trying to call a match of life or death here for Neptune's sake!

Cherry: Honey, I bet you like it when a girl gets shitted and beaten down upon. It makes you hard, CF makes you real hard.

OMJ: OOOOOOOOHHHH SNAP!

Jjs: Don't you dare even so much as bring HER up into this situation!

Dylan: She does have a point, Jjs! I mean, I'm an asshole and I know it, but that was something even beyond my ass grade.

OMJ: I think I have a solution for this dilemma, gentleman. And bitch.

Dylan: Heard that, Jjs, he called you a b-i-itch.

OMJ picks Cherry right up from on top of the broadcast table.

Cherry: Oh my stars and garterbelts!

OMJ: Now if you can exsqueeze us, I'm gonna let this Cherry blossom.

OMJ proceeds to carry her out of the broadcast booth.

Dylan: Look Jjs, there goes yet another guy picking away your Cherrys.

Jjs: You did this on purpose, you fucking ass.

Dylan: At least I know it :whitney:

Back in the ring, Wumbo and Jenna are still beating away one another.

Jjs: Wumbo and Jenna are seemingly evenly matched here, neither really seem to be showing any sign of fatigue whatsoever!

Dylan: Jenna is a warrior (in bed), Jjs! She just doesn't reach her climax so quickly and easily! She's got endurance, more endurance than even I do, and I fucking play football! So let that sit in your feeble mind for a bit.

Wumbo manages to duck one of Jenna's punches and proceeds to use this slip up to his advantage by punching her in the abdomen, which brings her down to her knees.

Jjs: And Jenna has just been rocked and brought down on her knees! Wumbo could look to capitalize!

Dylan: And that is where you're fuckin wrong again, Jjs. You and all these other nimrodic hypocrites may see this as Jenna losing her edge and footing in this match, but I see for what it truly is; a chance.

Jjs: A chance?

Dylan: If it was just any ole Tom, Dick or Harry being brought to their knees, then sure, they be fucked up the asshole. But this Jenna we're talking about here, she's been in this position many a times before and this occasion is no different. Fuck, she could kill Wumbo in nine different ways right now if she so wanted to! When someone like you and I get brought down to their knees, it's game over man. Game over! But we are merely brought down to our knees. Jenna was born on her knees, molded by being on her knees. She didn't pick herself off her knees until she was already a woman and by then, it was nothing to her but BONE BREAKING.

Before Wumbo could actually capitalize on Jenna's compromising position, she manages to spring back into action and grabs his crotch with her man hands. She appears to have some trouble firmly locating and grasping something tho.

Jenna: That Wumbooty of your's is obvs compromising for something.

Wumbo: I WAS IN THE POOL!

Jenna pulls Wumbo in by his wang and proceeds to pick him up for an Implant Buster, planting him front first into the mat. Jenna then spikes up her go go boots and slowly approaches Wumbo's downed body.

Jenna: Are you ready, boots? Start walkin.

Jenna casually walks all over Wumbo with her spiked boots, stomping on him even.

Jjs: It looks like with those cleats, anything appears to be possible for Jenna! Even making an upset victory over Wumbo look pretty damn believable as she looks to turn this deathmatch into a straight up curb stomp battle!

Dylan: That's just what those boots are made for, Jjs, and that's exactly what she plans to do!

Meanwhile outside some ask thread, OMJ has carried Cherrys off the whole way there.

Cherry: Are you sure this is a good place to fuck?

OMJ: Well, would you fuck me? Starting now?

Cherry: Boy would I-

OMJ: You're hired! I have the questions, you've got the answers baby. Besides, I used to get all kinds of pussy here all the time! About six to be exact.

OMJ kicks open Aya's ask thread and throws Cherry inside before locking themselves inside.

Dylan: Fucking fa-

Jjs: Stop! Don't make a drinking game out of this.

Dylan: But for those members of the SpongeBob Universe at home who are sober enough, enjoy the Community Deathmatch double screen experience with SBC on the Tapatalk App for just ten easy payments of $0.99 and get an exclusive in-depth look on just what OMJ and Cherrys are doing right now!

Jjs: You mean each other? And the app is free-

Dylan: Fuck you and fuck your cause, this is for our servers!

Jenna literally slaps a paper bag with SOF's newly revealed face pasted on it over Wumbo's head.

Jenna: Now there's a face I would gladly fuck (up), butter face.

Dylan: Or bacon face, amirite? :awkward:

Jenna whips out a pink baton and uses it to club Wumbo's head in with the bag still on his head. Blood stains start to show through the bag as well as drips of blood falling out from underneath.

Jjs: Jenna's got the Ugly Stick, Dylan, and she's using it to hit on Wumbo quite literally!

Dylan: You know if she can hit it once, she can hit it twice! She hits on the stankest dicks!

Jenna lays Wumbo out face down. She begins to feel up his Wumbooty, but Wumbo manages to kick her away.

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Jenna comes at him again and he tries knocking her back a second time, but she manages to catch his leg, beats on his knee with the ugly stick before hyperextending and damn near breaking it. She lays him out again, grabs him by each leg and proceeds to spread em.

Jenna: And now the moment you've been waiting for...

Jjs: I can't believe this, folks, Jenna's removing her pants and is trying to force herself onto Wumbology!

Wumbo: The Wumbooty is mine...

Wumbo tries fighting back.

Wumbo: It belongs to me.

Jenna matches him up and pins him back down to the ground.

Wumbo: You will not have my Wumbooty-

Jenna slaps him around before strangling the air out of him.

Elastic: Erotic asphyxiation? I'll allow it!

Elastic resumes filming while Wumbo slowly ceases to move as Jenna's grip tightens around his neck, but she lets go at the last second before spreading Wumbo's legs again and locks in a figure four before slowly sliding her crotch against the Wumbooty.

Jjs: No, she can't possibly- can she?

Dylan: She's got the magic clit! I know if it gets licked once, it gets licked twice! For she, Jjs, is the baddest chick and the one to put an end to Wumbology, as we currently know it, once and for all!

Jenna now proceeds to clamp her legs down over and over like a pair of scissors.

Jjs: Oh dear Neptune, she-she's going to Scissor the Wumbooty!

Wumbo: No! Get away from me! Get away from me precious Wumbooty-NOOO!!

Jenna makes contact, scissoring away at Wumbo's booty, cutting into his flesh and meat.

Wumbo: AHHH! WHAT IS CHRIST? WHAT IS CHRIST?! IT HURTS! MY CHEEKS ARE INSIDE OUT! WH-WHY WOULD YOU WANNA FUCK ME, IM CLOSE TO DEATH?!

Elastic: Light necrophilia? I'll allow it!

Elastic exclaims, resuming filming.

Wumbo: OH WHAT IS CHRIST?! THANK YOU LORD, SAVIOR A-AND NEPTUNE FOR UNNECESSARILY AND SOMEWHAT FUCKING ME UP THE ASS RIGHT NOW! JUST SAVE ME, TAKE ME BACK TO WATERLOOOOOOOO!

Jjs: I cannot even begin to fathom the unadulterated pain and pleasure Wumbo must be going through right now!

Dylan: Can't possibly equal to the pain I've endured having him on my staff, surely :whitney:

Wumbo: OH, I SEE DEMONS! OH GOD! THE SUCCUBUSES , THEY'RE COMING!

Jjs: Jenna is absolutely tearing into the Wumbooty like nobody else has ever!

Wumbo continues to struggle but can't break free from the Scissoring. He then calls upon all the strength he has left into his right hand. Fist clenched and shaking, his face in visible pleasure and pain, he proceeds to unload all that pent up tension onto Jenna.

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Jjs: Wumbo's Big Hit connects, effectively putting an end to Jenna's climax!

Jenna scurries to her feet as Wumbo kips back up to his feet.

Wumbo: It's getting hot in here. I better

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Wumbo: Take off all my clothes.

Wumbo gets on Plug and plays "Pleasure and Pain" by The Divinyls. Jenna begins to sweat a bit, fanning herself as Wumbo starts to flaunt his assets at her.

Jjs: I think the tides have turned against Jenna's favor!

Dylan: It's not over until the climax, Jjs! The climax!

Jjs: You can believe whatever you want yourself to believe, Dylan, but when you're fighting a member as hot and heavy as Jenna4, you have to fight fire with fire, and by Neptune, Wumbo's gonna make it rain fire all over her! The seductress has become the seducted!

Wumbo pulls a strip of bacon out from his underwear and flings it right into Jenna's mouth.

Jenna: This is awfully greasy.

Wumbo: I know ;)

Jenna twitches out like crazy from the wink as Wumbo spins around and spanks himself, putting his index and middle fingers to his curled up lips innocently. Jenna starts to turn red as Wumbo comes at her ass first.

Wumbo: Oh behave :smirk:

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Wumbo: Or else I'll have to take some disciplinary measures!

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Jenna spontaneously combusts in flames.

Jjs: She should've took off the rest of her clothes.

Dylan: STOP, DROP AND ROLL! STOP, DROP AND ROLL!

Jenna rolls around in the sheets in pain as she burns to crisp. She ceases to move, prompting Elastic to survey the situation.

Elastic: She's reached her climax. WINNER, WUMBOLOGY! Nice choice of song btw, should really come off great in the final product.

Dylan: Well, I certainly didn't saw that coming :awkward:

Jjs: He's done it, folks! Wumbo came, he saw, he came again and he conquered the seductive one half of PMS! Speaking of, I wonder what her other half is up to-

OMJ returns to the broadcast booth in shock and covered in blood.

Jjs: Jenks, what the Davy Jones happened, mang?!

OMJ: She turned out to be a fighter Jjs...she came at me from out of nowhere...but you can say that I...POPPED HER CHERRYS :funny:

Elastic: Goshdangit, why didn't you tell me!

Jjs: Just cut me open and throw salt in it, why won't ya :stinkeye: lets just, go to more assholes who'll miss Wumbo something or other.

The scene cuts to Michaelmn in the middle of falling coconuts.

Michaelmn: Goodbye Wumbo :P

The scene then cuts to Crushing, chillaxin' somewhere in the PR with a bored, tired expression on his face.

Crushing: Wumgro, I wish you wouldn't just up and leave us like this, mang, but I see why you have to leave us so abruptly. Das too bad, but I'm sure even more good will come out of your resignation that'll make the community grow. You're a valuable asset to this community, chico, and you can't be replaced. But I am absolutely sure your replacements will be able to step up in your absence.

Crushing takes a bite out of a slice of bread.

Crushing: You are leaving to pursue a college educacion, something you need to survive in today's world.. But I don't need no college education, mang. Take a good look at Crushing Mayhem. I am living the good life although it definitely has it's downs, mang. Black outs, corrupt governments, but it's all average to me, mang. You were fighting a chica, Wumgro. And the chicas, they say they for fun but they boring, mang. When I step into the deathmatch ring, chicos, you better enter with your good eye open because I am entering for a good time. But you know what they say: good times don't last, but good guys...do, mang. Me llamo Crushing Mayhem, El Defensor!

Spoiler
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Here goes the probs inferior part two!

Jjs: Now lets take some time out of these regularly scheduled festivities to hear a few words from a very special user whose life Wumbo has touched the most of many!

Trophy: Cowabunga Flipsieeh! it was quite honor working with you on PitF, I love you with all my Heart, Man :funny: now let me have your Wumbabies in my belly!

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Stop lying at the beginnings of these episodes man it's false advertising. :(

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The following program you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein...except maybe...don't wanna spoil it...

...Anyway, IT'S JUST POSTS!

Wumbo Rumble Finale: A Deathmatch Salute to Wumbology

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Producer: Quiet on the set! Could we please have quiet on the set!

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???: AAAAAWWEEEESOOOOOOMEEEE!

The scene opens up to a shot Webby sitting in a director's chair.

Webby: Alright, alright, alright. SBC's most followed member is back! Back from his year long World Wide Web Tour with the high school cast of BIG RIVERRRRRR! And the reviews are in from all the across the board from USA to Japan! Even some of my peers down in Hollywood have literally showered their praise and admiration for my riveting breakthrough performance of a boy going downriver!

Nicholas Cage: StjMUpP.jpg

Webby: And that's about all that could be said about it, because I'm the star! And the star shines brighter than anything else! Can I hear a HOO-RAH on that!

Jack Nicholson: WkHlfjV.jpg

Producer: Quiet on the set! Can we please have quiet on the set!

Webby: But here in the SpongeBob Community, the stars at night are dull and dim because none of them, not even put together, can equate to the kappa star that helps make up the constellation of Webby Python. But I can assure all you SpongeBobbies right now, The Star will align and will come shooting past SBC to grant it's wish for my big return to Community Deathmatch following my breakthrough debut performance!

Dwayne Johnson: SVVmNzy.jpg

Webby: And Wumbo, I heard you're leaving my brother. Right when I landed my next big starring role as Steve in the reboot of Blue's Clues! Well unlike you, I have come to play. Not just in a theater play, but I'm here to actually play-play! I guess my star was shining just a bit too bright for you, I know you Canadians probably don't get a ton of sunlight. It's cold up there. I know what Canadians are, alright! I was just up there giving the performance of my lifetime two weeks ago and speaking of lifetime, I have also just signed on to play Danny Bonaduce in a movie based on his life story all the way until his 1990 and 1991 arrests for the Lifetime Movie Network due to premiere next month. But Wumbo, can you name at least (ONE) great actor to have ever come out from America's hat- NO! And do you know why? Because

Hey! Hey!

You! You!

Out in community!

Can't you see that man is Kappa Webby!

Webby: AND I'M AWESOOOOOOME!

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Webby: And one more thing

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Webby: I CAME TO PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC, WHITE BOY! toOrjw2.jpg

The screen cuts to a close up of Omar's face.

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Omar: Hey Wumbo, wanna see something really spooky?

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Omar: NUTELL!!!

spagett-o.gif Gotcha.

The computer screen suddenly cuts out into static, showing various subliminal images

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Spoiler
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Omar: I was raised in Horseheads, New York not far from the Candian border and my daddy, he was the least fabulous dastard I ever laid eyes upon.

Disturbing mages of various dense woods in northern New York flashes across the screen along with Omar bending over backwards and doing a spider walk in the snow, HPL cradling her Plankypoo doll, Horsehead looking intently into the screen and even PatBack popped up for a bit all while Omar sat in his chair, which broke his camera when he dropped it on it, cocking back and forth.

Spewing spam from his mouth

Tasting freedom while he does

Omar: I didn't like him, my daddy, he was a mean man! You see, it was one winter day just a few years ago when he pulled 8 year-old chibi Omar out of the cold and snow. "It's too cold!" He said. "You're gonna catch a cold!" He said. "GET BACK INTO HOUSE...where it's warm." He said.

Then crawling back...back to the top...of today's posters list

Of the list.

Omar: By then, I already knew how to read. I was reading Harry Potter then it was Garfield and it was mostly just the recitation, the Quran, after that. My daddy, you see, didn't like me reading HP or Garfield because they went against "our beliefs" and venerated everything we were taught to oppose what with the witchcraft and the talking cats! lel Then I moved on to watching the tele one day and saw that Band Geeks was on and from then on, my life revolved around gay squids, but my daddy found out and he took those away from me too. We would have our little..."praying time" at set times of the day and I never liked to take part I those things. Then one winter night, "Oh what a night! Late December back in '63. What very special time for me, as I remember, what a night lel" It was surprisingly below freezing down in my neck of the woods and my daddy, cold as he was just from being inside "the warmth" of his house, tried to get me inside again. I never minded the cold because the cold never minded me. The cold was MY warmth to make up for the warmth I lacked. That day, I decided to do my daddy one better. I told him to pray, him and me, we prayed together! And I gave him the warmth he wanted.

He won't see the sunrise again for years to come

He's broken out in wub :wub:

Omar: lol and from that day on, I was free to walk upright into the snow with nothing but the shirt and shorts I had on! Then after, I learned. I learned that the winters aren't what's cold and dark in this world, it's the world itself! More people just like my daddy looking down on me, seeing me as an inferior being, not even a being, a peon spouting out just a bunch of nonsense lmao! That's what I was! Well I am speaking nonsense. And I am a peon to be looked down upon just because of my personal preferences, my beliefs. I believe in me, and you should too. Others already have and look at them. Aren't they just ADORBS LMAO?

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Like a troll, without a care

Roaming freely, through the boards

You could find him in amongst the gay squids, in the chat

Omar: I Wumbo, you Wumbo, he, she, WE WUMBOOOO! Wumbo, I wouldn't want to be you, or anyone for that mater, who dare try and unnecessarily reprimand me for my spamming, somewhat. Because I'm gonna take pleasure in watching you burn mang rofl just like my daddy.

But he won't see the sunrise again for years to come

He's broken out in wub...broken out in wuuub :wub:

Omar: Oh what a night

Spoiler
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The scene cuts back to the Deathmatch Arena, where Wumbo is still celebrating his hard-fought victories.

Jjs: Well that de-escalated quickly...please don't tell me I was the only one watching that just now.

Dylan: Im too angry to fucking care :)

OMJ: Wumbo plz up here! I've gotta touch your butt! before you leave!

Wumbo bro fists OMJ and gives him his personal pair of Assman shades.

Wumbo: Take it as a going away present, eh!

Wumbo tells a visibly disappointed OMJ before heading back down to the ring.

OMJ: BUT THIS ISN'T BOOTY- well, the idea that this is my gift is booty, BUT THIS ISN'T THE BOOTY in the literal ass sense.

Suddenly, somebody grows the balls to interrupt Wumbo's raucous celebration. He comes walking out to the ring at an average pace, decked out in gold chains and looking rather bored and tired as does so.

Jjs: Th-tha-that's gotta be-

OMJ: Crushing Mayhem! My main mang, mang!

Dylan: Oh praise Neptune below for hearing all my prayers! For he has sent The Defender of SBC to- aw who am I kidding, I couldn't fuckin stand having him on my staff neither.

Crushing chews on a plain cheese sandwich.

Crushing: Listen to this crowd. They're dead, mang.

Jjs: Did he not just hear that ovation Wumbo was getting before coming out?

OMJ: But look at him go to town with that sammich!

Jjs: Yeah, while he's picking his teeth with a toothpick. Talk about counter-productive.

OMJ: Talk about a contradiction, Jjs!

Crushing enters the ring and tiredly stares down Wumbo in the center of the ring.

Crushing: Oye chico, everyone listen to The Good Guy! You know what good is?

Crushing takes a bored, egotistical spinaround.

Crushing: You're looking at em. Lo ves when you're Crushing Mayhem like me, you can contribute what you want, you can do what you want. Es mejer que ser bueno, you better be good. Good like me, Crushito. Pero este imbécil, this...perpetual waste of space, he ain't no good, mang. He don't want to contribute to our community, nuestra comunidad anymore. And for what, mang? A higher educaciones?! A very good reason, yet a very bad, estupido reason to leave your community high and dry, chico. I can say just about the same to almost everyone else here, mangs.

The guests in attendance boo him the fuck out of the building.

Crushing: Oye, you niños are the worst offenders of all. Our community suffers, suffering less and less activity by each and every day. We all must do our parts to contribute, para contribuir. This ain't just a job for one mang, mang. I can only do what I can, but I can't do what I must. Everyday when you poco mierdas go to keep active in escuela, instead of being here and keeping active in your community, well that's good, but I can't say I approve of it.

Wumbo: So what do you want us to do, "mang"? Pull out of school, fuck ourselves over and just sit on our asses doing jack shit all day besides maybe jacking to shit all day like you do? And the shit you "contribute, chico", I can barely consider contribution. All you do is post the same average, tired, boring shit everyday. I think we get the point, mang!

Crushing: And just what do you know about contribution, pendejo? All you ever knew how to do is lock topics, trash topics, temas de bloqjeo, temas de basura.

Wumbo: Yeah, well, it was my job. It came with the mod title. Then again, you wouldn't know of the responsibilities that comes with the member title. Too estupido, if you ask me.

Crushing: Para tu informacion, chico, I had worked my way to the highest editorship for Fairlyodd Parents on TV.com. I know the responsibility, and unlike you mang, I earned that responsibility and with what, you may wonder? Contribuciones.

Wumbo: I have you know, I was made mod and I only just joined here for 20 minutes!

Crushing: I also worked my way up into the top three contributors of the Spongebob SquarePants show guide on TV.com. More than practically everyone of you "SpongeBob fans" here.

Wumbo: Yeah, except SpongeSebastian.

Crushing: No lo llevará a esta. My point being, I kept the community alive then, and I'm still keeping the community alive today.

Wumbo:By complaining about every little decline in activity and overblowing into something bigger than it really is? Try posting stuff that isn't just how tired, bored or average you are! Post something that isn't what you're currently eating and/or drinking! Post something that actually counts and isn't a game! Contribute to some real discussions, mang! Start real discussions for others to contribute, chico! Let me just take this time to apologize on behalf of myself and the others in that I'm sorry we have our own lives, Crushing. And the way you say you just spend your time pacing around your room over thinking about this whole shit, I'm sorry I can't say the same about you-

Crushing takes a huge bite out of his sandwich and then spits chunks of it right in Wumbo's face.

Crush: ¡I spit in the face of people who don't want to contribute! But I'm sure they have a good reason to.

Jjs: I can't believe it! Crushing has just spat in the face of our beloved, departing moderator!

Dylan: Surprisingly well done :whitney:

OMJ: And now he's wiping Wumbo's face off with his own shirt!

Dylan: One step forward, only to take two steps back. Vintage Crushing, people!

Wumbo: Well allow to me formally submit my first ever contribution to this community on behalf of myself and for the good of just about everyone else-

Wumbo proceeds to land a hard right into Crushing's face, knocking some more chewed up cheese sandwich out of his mouth. Crushing seemed to be unphased by this, merely lifting his head back up with the same tired expression, average on his face.

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Crushing: You know, a little contribution can go a loooooong way, mang.

Crushing takes another bite of his cheese sandwich, but takes the toothpick out of it and immediately flicks it into Wumbo eye.

Jjs: Crushing just sent that toothpick flying into Wumbo's eye! He could very well have been blinded!

Crushing boots Wumbo in the face, knocking the toothpick in deeper before kicking him in the face again while he's down.

OMJ: Well I think he is very damn well blinded now!

He then kneels down and hammers away on Wumbo's head with some hard shots, twisting the toothpick away in his eye as he does so.

Jjs: Well folks, it appears we have anoth-

Dylan: HOLD THE MICROPHONE BITCH! I have another announcement to make!

Jjs sits back and gives Dylan his time to speak.

Dylan: I wasn't saying that in a "shut the fuck up" sorta way, I meant I wanted you to literally hold my microphone while I talk :whitney:

Jjs sighs before holding his mic to Dylan's mouth.

Dylan: Excuse me, excuse me everybody! And Wumbo.

OMJ: Mang, Wumbo is everybody.

Crushing stops his assault to hear Dylan's contribution to all this.

Dylan: I have a very important announcement to make, yet again, like, big surprise amirite? Go SBC! An announcement so big, so terrible, so mind fuckingly large, that those of you with weak constitutions may want to leave the arena!

Crushing: Oye chico, you're lucky I just had that cheese sandwich, mang.

Crushing tells a wounded Wumbo before leaving the arena on his own accord.

Dylan: If you all bother to pay attention to this droll rigmarole and a totally inferior attempt at what OMJ calls a lit compared to say Hot & Sexy, then you will know that we will soon be reach our current season's end. While I may be Community Deathmatch's official director-in-chief, I can't say with the utmost confidence and reassurance whether or not we'll be back for another season. But I will say that controversy creates activity, as well as this: if Community Deathmatch doesn't come back, I blame you.

Dylan points at OMJ.

Dylan: I mean what the fuck were those finale episodes all about, you moronic dipshit! This ain't S(lums)BU, it barely qualifies as ATTWL and it damn fucking sure isn't Hot & Sexy! You sir, have lost your touch, fuck you. And I also place the blame on you.

Dylan points at Jjs.

Dylan: I bet you don't even read this shit, you fucking testicle! And I blame you for letting yourself get absolutely fucking neutered like this *points at Elastic* And I blame that deadbeat bitch down there *points at Sex* I blame that counter-productive puto *points at Crushing* and I blame her even though her stupid ass ain't been here for Neptune knows how long *points at CF* I blame that giant asshat outside *points at Clappy* but take pointers from OMJ, he can use your characters better than you. And I blame you and you and you andyouandyouandyouandyouANDYOUANDYOUANDYOUANDYOU I BLAME ALL YOU STUPID BITCHES, EVERY SINGLE ONE! YOU ARE ALL MORONS!

OMJ: Hey, you can't call people "morons" on the Internet!

Jjs: Somebody call the Internet police.

Dylan: But most of all, I cast blame onto you, Wumbo. You stupid, idiotic, moronic, superfluous...I- you're not Wumbooty, you're just an asshole! Always going against the plan, against my innovative plans to breathe life into this Community again. The plan tonight was for you to die, but did you follow through with my pla- NO YOU DID NOT! But tonight I realize that I can't help this Community or this lit from sinking to Rock Bottom. At least, not by myself but at this point, I think everything is all beyond me. It's all beyond help. Which is why it has all come down to this, my biiig announcement right here, right now. If this lit, this community is gonna die with me as it's captain then I sure as hell am gonna take it down along with me! Slaying it, putting everybody and everything out of it's long, collective misery with a lethal dose of SBC's newest addition! Someone who will tear you a whole new new one!

OMJ: Someone? Is it SOMEONE?

The sound of a gavel pounding hammers through the entire arena. The camera pans back to Bad Reviews Halibut, who is standing behind his podium at ringside.

Halibut: May I have some decorum in this forum pleas-

Dylan: Shut the fuck up! You are not who I had in mind, you hypocritical, self righteous moron prick! In fact, I blame you too, you lost your luster so ten episodes ago! Now begone with you, head on back to ATTWL you ship hopping bitch since this lit may be a bit "too dead" for you, you're actually funnier there!

Jjs: Ooh, take that Halibutt!

The lights all go out in the Deathmatch Arena, everybody left worrying and pondering what Dylan could be going on about.

Jjs: What in the deep blue sea is the meaning of this, Dylan?!

Dylan only laughs to himself psychotically as the the arena is still bathed in darkness. Loud footsteps are then heard and even felt rocking the arena.

Dylan: Are you ready to die, SBC?

Wumbo: Always ready, Dylan. Always ready.

Dylan: Good, because tonight I'm gonna kick each of you in your carapace!

OMJ: Not my carspace! Where would I park my jalopy? I've gotta get outta here!

OMJ gets up to leave but he gets himself blocked off by Clappy, whose footsteps were actually making all the ruckus just now.

Clappy: Not in my house. AHAHAHAHAA!

Dylan: Ready or not, here he comes. Quake in fear you mortal bitches! Bow down before the awesomeness of... inb4 wrestling-minded people thinks it's Webby and/or Omar

???: MISTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ENTER!

Jjs: WHAT? I'll see it when I believe it-

Spoiler
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Homestuck: It's not hoeing off if you can back it up! Back. It. Up. BACKING UUUUUP!

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Jjs: AND OH MY GAWD I BELIEVE IT!

OMJ: Slayed!

Homestuck: ...EEEEEEEnterrrrrr...

Dylan:

Wumbo: Ugh. Not this asshole.

Homestuck: mariah.gif Actually, it's "asshoe" get it right. That's a good couple more blocks for Annoyance and Lackluster Writing. Now if you're done running that asshole you call a mouth of your'sLADIES AND GENTLEMEN! This boy lolita enters (ha) the Deathmatch Arena at a whopping 2 posts and 2 cheeks!

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OMJ puts on the assman glasses that Wumbo gave him earlier.

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Jjs: ...That's a monkey's ass, barnacle head!

OMJ: Jjs! That's no way to talk about Nicki Minaj! And don't you dare bring my penis into this.

Jjs: ...

Homestuck: Hailing from Ouran Academy!

Ouran Fangirls: fangirls.gif

OMJ: I never think my writing would ever bring these girls to the club. Where the fuck is my rose at. I wanna have a green one.

Jjs: They scare me, Jenks.

OMJ: They should, Jjs.

Homestuck: MISTERRRRRRRRRRRRR ENTER!

Homestuck paces down the entrance ramp.

Homestuck: EEEEENTERRRRRRR...

Dylan: I9Ht4PW.gif

Homestuck: tumblr_naos07EEOf1s5whb5o1_500.gif

OMJ: A boy lolita? When you think you start to get to know an Internet reviewer.

Jjs: He's not Mr Enter!

Homestuck raises his hand into the air, as if signaling for something. A piece of paper is lowered down to him.

OMJ: Oh my gosh! A ghost!

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Homestuck: It's not a ghost *turns paper* it's my Wumbomination

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Jjs: Bah gawd! That's even scarier!

OMJ: Well I think we may be on the verge of seeing a real ghost sighting, Jjs, because that joke right there damn near slayed me!

Homestuck: A Deathmatch Salute to Wumbo, written, directed and edited by one Old Man Jenkins. Where do I even begin to pick this apart systematically?

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Wumbo: More like haphazardly.

Homestuck: Keep running your mouth down there and this can turn into a Wumbo Torture Porn real quick!

Elastic: I'd allow it.

Wumbo: You know, there are less prude ways of saying that. This is a mature rated show after all.

Homestuck: We're first treated to a guy getting his ass cheeks forcefully extracted from his bottom-

Homestuck covers his donkey kong ass around Wumbo.

Homestuck: Causing blood and fecal matter to fly everywhere.

OMJ: If he thinks that's bad, try bearing with it up here these last couple of episodes.

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Homestuck: And don't get me started on the disturbing, cringe-inducing visual that was Part Dos. From a girl literally scissoring Wumbo with her legs to said girl biting off- well, Sex kinda deserved that tbh, but the disturbing content still stands what with the amount of unnecessary cruelty that takes all throughout this entire lit.

Wumbo: Well, it isn't called Community Deathmatch fer nothin, guy.

Homestuck: And the morals, pffft, what morals? This lit is supposed to be a satire of every day social life on this community that parodies various incidents, conflicts and drama all throughout this community's existence, but everybody on this show is but a exaggerated caricature of who they really are in real life! Their personalities are blown way out of proportion, like Kim K's ass levels of disproportion, that they grow increasingly more and more annoying as the episode goes on, completely derailing each user's characters in one big unfortunate implication for future users to read about those who came before them all thanks in part to some very lackluster writing on OMJ's part. I mean, look I my character for example. Am I really this big of an Enter fanboy? Am I one of those basic bitches who base their own reviews off of his enough to warrant this kind of humor at my expense? Bitch barely even know me.

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Wumbo summons the shadows to become Wumbo In Shadows. Meanwhile somewhere in San Diego, it's getting pretty hot and Cha's nipples are getting unquestionably hard.

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Cha: My nipples are getting pretty unquestionably hard.

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Cha: I should take off all my clothes.

Wumbo: Community Deathmatch's charm and humor comes from exaggeratedly blowing things out of proportion. It helps realize just how we used to act in the past, both distant and fairly recent past, allowing us to reflect upon it now and see whether we have become different people or if deep down, we're still the same asshats. Deathmatch even points out and satirizes some people's flaws maybe in hopes that the person in question will hopefully take notes on it and better themselves. Like Crushing and his constant need for activity here and the contradictory means he will go to achieve it, Halibut and his downright wrong way of going about "helping" people with his anti-shoutouts, 70's past of lies, Dylan and his assholeness.

Dylan: giphy7.gif

Wumbo: ACS and his schizophrenic assholeness, Clappy and his big returns that are about as big as his ego, Jjs' past mistreatment of CF, Sauce and her denial of wearing false eyelashes, and even me and taking the stick out of my ass ( :stinkeye: ) while also pointing out the positives of some people as well and emphasizing like that, like all the flaws I just pointed out. They're what makes us us. We can't erase the past, Deathmatch allows us to look back at some of those rocky times and have a big ole laugh about some of the shit and drama that's taken place here. And FYI, you don't have to watch this, ya know. Nor do we Enter haters have to go in the Enter topics and completely ruin the fun for those who actually like you, "Mr Enter".

Dylan: Big talk from a guy basing himself off of Todd fucking in the Shadows.

Wumbo: We don't have to fight it out, we can just let bygones be bygones and all move on with our lives. At least that's what I'm getting at with your sudden injection into this episode.

Dylan: tumblr_mcfwswCeoX1r2qaggo1_400.gif

Jjs: My mistreatment of CF? Why I never!

OMJ: *tears* Wow Wumbro, that was beautiful.

Wumbo: What? I was just reading this Wunderbar wrapper. See?

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Homestuck: Hey, you're right. And I'm going back to SBM ASAP!

Dylan: britfacials6.gif take a seat boy and finish slaying.

Homestuck: tumblr_m3iq0s8uzu1r7oi45o1_500.gif

Dylan: I COMMAND YOU to get in there and tear him a new one!

Homestuck: I already have with my Wumbomination and I already slayed everybody else with my ghost joke. And it's boy "lolita" get it memorized.

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Dylan: tumblr_lqwqri3z531qm6231o1_400.gif

Homestuck: tumblr_ma561cFC3u1rfduvxo1_250.gif

Dylan: tumblr_luzg4qhKsD1qkbcqqo1_500.gif

Homestuck: photo-4623.gif

Dylan: tumblr_mgbiaper2v1ql5yr7o2_250.gif

Homestuck: lorax-o.gif

Dylan: Oh no you didn't show ass! :awkward:

As Homestuck flew away out of the deathmatch arena by the hairs on his ass, Dylan pounced from the broadcast booth and firmly grasped him.

Spoiler
tPvcT9F.jpg

Cha: I should crack open a window.

OMJ: You know, Jjs. I just realized something.

Jjs: Whats that, Jenk Man?

OMJ: Dylan is totes the Once-ler! Both pretty young, innovative guys who get in too deep and and end up making rash decisions that only leads to not only the downfall of what they've been trying to accomplish but also themselves. And Homie and Wumbo, representing the Lorax, are trying to get him to slow the fuck down and nature and all dat green eggs and shit :troll:

Jjs: Yes Jenks, that's quite the symbolism you got going there. :okay:

Dylan tries to take Homie down, and successfully does so, crashing down into the ring first.

Dylan: Success! :whitney:

Homestuck comes falling down after him, looking to land ass first right on Dylan's-

Dylan: :awkward:

n8TFz.gif

And with a huge SPLAT, Homestuck lands ass first right on Dylan's head, smashing his head to bits and pieces like a watermelon with his donkey kong ass, fragments of bone, blood and brain matter flying everywhere.

Jjs: Bah Gawd! There's a lot of irony there, but I don't know quite how to convey it!

OMJ: Dylan sure knows how to...make an ass outta himself :awkward:

Jjs: That'll do, pig. That'll do :okay:

Wumbo helps Homestuck up to his feet.

Wumbo: So how's your break up with Nick Cannon going?

Homestuck: read.png

Jjs: Well folks, it appears Dylan's administrative regime has come to an abrupt end!

OMJ: Hehe, clever ass pun there.

Jjs: Or not, because this show likes to fuck continuity a lot.

OMJ: Come the fuck on, Jjs. We're finally free! Can't we just have this possibly brief moment to take it all in.

Jjs: Aw to Davy Jones with it, WE'RE FREE BITCHEEEEEEESSSSS!

OMJ: I feel one year younger. Yeeeah it's great to be back!

Jjs: We did it, you old coot!

OMJ: Who're you?

Jjs: qxgPtmo.jpg

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Split in two parts cuz limitations...

Jjs: qxgPtmo.jpg

Homestuck: Don't be a nerd, be a boy lolita!

OMJ: Is he signaling for what I think he's for?!

Jjs: I barely fucking know the guy to know anything.

Homestuck: read.png All aboard the HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

OMJ: The Hoe Train's arriving, Jjs! Here to the Community Deathmatch Arena! It's-

Homestuck: OOOOOOOOST TRAIN!

OMJ & Jjs: Host Train?

t9U4jVL.jpg

Homestuck: That'll do pig *read*

Homestuck parades the Host Train all around the arena and entertains the audience while Wumbo is looking just about as lost as we are before just fucking it and continuing his celebration. Just then

???: MISTERRRRRRRRRRRRR ENTEREEEEEERRRRR!

Jjs: Mr Enter!?

OMJ: Agayn!?

Old Man Leeroy Jenkins comes out to the ring, decked out in his own Mr Enter attire and beard.

OMLJ: Look it's me! Old Man Mr Enter!

He raises his hand to the sky to call forth an Abomination of his own, but Jjs thinks fast and fires his Ice Shredder at him, incapacitating him almost instantly.

Jjs: Nope.

OMJ: For once, Jjs, you and I can agree on something. Lil name biting fucker had it comin-

OMLJ: LOOK IT'S ME! OLD MAN MR-

Jjs fires another ice shredder at Leeroy's head, silencing him for good.

Jjs: WE DONT WANT ANY!

OMJ: Was-was that a Post Fiction reference?

Jjs: For you, Jenky, it could be. Well folks it looks-

wuNuUIx.jpg

Jjs: Oh god no.

4Phjr6ul.jpg

OMJ: But JCM isn't scheduled to make a cameo in this episode!

SOF comes trotting out and smirks before looking up towards the broadcast booth, pointing his middle and index fingers at his nostrils then points up towards OMJ before continuing to the ring.

OMJ: What the hell was that for? What the fuck is he gonna do, smell me?

SOF gets into the ring with Wumbo and they face off, teasing a big showdown, but troll everybody and embrace each other.

SOF: oha all. I just wanted to say how I feel about Wumbo. I mean for 5 years everyones crious why I always like his posts & pondering on SOFxWumbo. Guys, it's hard to say if certain user was wondering i couldn't say it b/c its too personal to answer it (especically you said it in Sharing Time blog).

Jjs: Wut.

OMJ: Oh don't act like you didn't proofread this for him.

SOF: but here's the truith..for 5 years, i haven't told anyone what's my true reveal on why's English isn't first language idk why people wants me to say it. but thing is...I'm Candian.

OMJ: SOF is from Candy Land?!

SOF: The reason i can't reveal it it's because it's too personal (idk if the rules said you shouldn't allow to).

Jjs: Wut. Is this really worth an entire topic of this episode?

SOF: What I'm trying to say..I'm sorry for everything what I did to Wumbo, you guys and SBC staff as well.. I truly needs stop doing this stuff.

OMJ: Go back to Candy Land, SHOOBIE!

SOF: I'm from Winnipeg idiot. the next thing i wanted to talk about past incident i cause this,,,looking back i was depressed what I done was very wrong. i cause few drama like January 2013 incident, SECC controversy, lying my age, etc. I feel like acting a huge douche when it comes to the community I see how i've done things worse.

Jjs: Haha, you only accept the half of it.

SOF: Wumbo, I can hope you can forgive me what I did in past 5 years and move on .

Wumbo: SOF, your enthusiasm and commitment to the site over these past five years has been astounding. You've contributed your fair share contrary to Crushing's beliefs. You have nothing to apologize for. I often feel that people don't give you a fair chance sometimes when you post. Your English really isn't that bad. There's a few slip-ups now and again, but you're clearly trying, and I find your posts usually to be understandable. Please don't get down on yourself so hard. You've been one of the best members on this site, and I am certainly going to miss you when I leave for university.

Wumbo offers SOF a bro hug. The audience chants for Wumbo and SOF to "DO IT!"

OMJ: Do what? Hug or bed each other?

Jjs: Why not both?

SOF approaches Wumbo to return the embrace, but he ends up unliking Wumbo's post instead.

OMJ: Surely that is just another SOF slip up-

SOF suddenly superkicks Wumbo right in the face, knocking him down hard to the mat. He rips off his Dont Hate SOF shirt to finally reveal his rather surprisingly large body frame.

Jjs: DID HE JUST DO WHAT I THINK HE DOOD?!

OMJ: Vintage SOF, always the card!

SOF proceeds to stomp down hard on Wumbo's chest, causing him to cough up some blood.

OMJ: Hahaha! Stop it SOF, these typos are killing me!

Jjs: Well those "typos" are really killing Wumbo right now!

Join Date: January 24, 2010

User Ranking: Dead Eye Plankton

Group: Customers

Active Posts: 9738

Profile Views: 85227

Age: 17 years old

Birthday: October 3, 1997

Gender: Male

Location: Unknown

Favorite Episode: The Masterpiece

Favorite Character: SB

Jjs: Whats the meaning of this?!

OMJ: It's the tape, Jjs, we have to read it! Looks like we have one more left in the tank after all!

Jjs: Supposedly hailing from parts unknown-

OMJ: But what was revealed tonight to be Candy Land!

Jjs: This surprisingly tough customer joined SBC just a mere day after Wumbo!

OMJ: And five years and nearly 10,000 posts later, he has Wumbo dead in his Dead Eye Plankton sights!

Jjs: Only a little over two years separate these two, who once seemed like brothers, in age! His favorite character is SB because SOF is so damn lazy to type things out!

OMJ: Tho he'll probably just misspell it anyway! And his favorite episode is the Masterpiece, which doesn't ring a damn bell to me at all.

Jjs: But SOF seems to be rocking Wumbo's bell in the ring as we speak!

SOF picks Wumbo up for a belly to back suplex, but he ends up dropping Wumbo right on his head. SOF rolls over and belly to backs Wumbo again and again, rolling over each time before dropping Wumbo on his head a seventh time. Wumbo lays in the ring motionless.

Jjs: SOF may have broken Wumbo's neck smack dab in half! His surgically repaired neck, folks!

OMJ: This moment should be immortalized in the Archive, don'tcha think, Jjs? Come on, chop chop!

Jjs: Goddammit, Wumbo has been through hell and back and now it looks like he's about to enter the fiery gates again, Jenk Man! I don't know about you, but I can't just sit back and provide commentary while the life of SBC is slowly beaten outta him! I'm going in!

Jjs heads down to the ring to confront SOF.

OMJ: Jjs looks to have grown a pair, a deathmatch first here folks! And he's going to confront his best forum friend forever, SOF!

Jjs storms the ring and gets between SOF and Wumbo, stopping SOF from continuing his assault.

Jjs: What are you doing?! What in Neptune's name do you think you're doing, HUHHH?!

Wumbo slowly stirs back up to his feet, using the ring ropes as leverage, trying to fully assess the situation.

Jjs: Oh, hi Wumbo.

Jjs proceeds to nail a thunderous kick to Wumbo's crotch, grounding the Wumbologist once more.

Jjs: I kill you, you bastard!

Wumbo: You couldn't kill me if you tried!

Jjs: You betrayed me! You're not good, you're not the best! You, you're just a chicken. Cheep cheep cheep chirp cheep cheep!

Wumbo makes his way towards Jjs, but SOF quickly intercepts him and they both trade blows with each other. Wumbo starts to regain the upper hand with some sharp edged Wumbo Wing chop before ducking a haymaker attempt by SOF, kicks him in the gut and goes to nail a Coral Driver, but SOF proves to be difficult to lift up and SOF ends up back dropping Wumbo overhead effortlessly but Wumbo manages to land right on his feet and goes straight for Jjs.

Jjs: Don't touch me motherFUCKer

He tackles Jjs into a corner and they grapple with each other pathetically before Wumbo tries going for a quick Big Break but SOF intervenes yet again and attacks from behind. Wumbo turns around and tries his damnedest to phase SOF with some more punches and chops. He manages to stun SOF long enough to set him up for a Patrick's Big Break and nails it successfully.

OMJ: Wumbo manages to rock the Canadian Crusader with a big time Big Break!

Jjs tries to attack Wumbo from a blind spot, but Wumbo catches wind and catches Jjs in the act. Jjs immediately back up away from Wumbo and exits the ring, prompting Wumbo to chase after him.

Jjs: Cheep cheep chirp cheep!

They run around the ring for a good bit until Wumbo notices that SOF was starting to get back up.

OMJ: Wumbo appears to finally catch wind that Jjs has been leading him on a wild goose, or dodo, the extinct national bird of Canada, chase all while SOF quickly recovers in the ring.

Wumbo digs under the ring and pulls out a trash can and brings it with him into the ring.

gNKl9Au.jpg

Wumbo: Time to take out the trash, Kan!

OMJ: Wumbo looks to take out the trash for one final time here, folks!

Wumbo goes to nail SOF with the can, but SOF manages to nail him first with the Fist of Wrost, punching right through the trash can and into Wumbo's face. Jjs starts instructing SOF to finish the job.

rM65O4T.jpg

Clappy: *claps knowing I actually utilized an idea of his*

SOF nails another Superkick to Wumbo's face before stomping down on his spine, Wumbo jolts up in pain. SOF sits down on Wumbo's back with all his weight and locks in the Canadian Cruse.

OMJ: The Canadian Cruse! The Canadian Cruse is firmly locked in! Nobody has successfully escaped the Canadian Cruse before!

Jjs gets in Wumbo's face from outside the ring.

Jjs: Did you get my award?

Jjs waits for an answer but Wumbo remains locked tight in the Canadian Cruse.

Jjs: You got it, didn't you? Everything's going wrong at once. Nobody wants to vote for me. And you're dying.

Wumbo: I-I'm not...dy-dying...eh...

Jjs: I got the results of the voting back, you definitely have Best Member and Honorary Staff Awards, you Mountie fuck! Everybody betrayed me! I am fed up with this community!

SOF tightens the hold and wrenches back even further.

Jjs: As far as I'm concerned, you can drop off the community. That's a promise. TEAR HIM APART, CRUSEV!

OMJ: No! NO! Don't do it! Don't do it, you confusing fuck!

Finally putting all his strength into the hold, SOF wrenches Wumbo's head and arms right off his body. Elastic surveys the scene.

OMJ: CRUSE YOU! CRUSE YOU DAMN SON OF BITCH! I HOPE YOU'RE BOTH HAPPY WITH YOURSELVES! I HOPE YOU BOTH ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR TIME TOGETHER, YOU LOUSY DASTARDS!

Elastic: I-I can't believe it...WINNER, SO-

Jjs: The Canadian Crusader, CRUSEV, motherFUCKer!

Elastic: Oh hi, Jjs. I didn't know it was you. Well, here you go.

Elastic hands over Wumbo's Best Member and Spinoff Hall of Fame awards.

Jjs: That's me!

SOF impales Wumbo's onto the top of a Canadian flag pole and waves it to hate from the crowd.

Crusev: Ne me déteste! Ne déteste pas Crusev! Crusev tuer! Crusev cruche!

A much larger Canadian descends from the rafters behind them. Crusev and Jjs pose in front of it over Wumbo's dead body parts.

ucnakBD.jpg

Jjs's legs prompts OMJ to put the Assman shades back on.

OMJ: us5rlMp.jpg I'm only doing this out of respect for Wumbo. No more, no less :funny:

Jjs pats Elastic Dog on the head before leaving the ring.

Jjs: Goodbye, E-Doggy.

Crusev: You're my favorite member.

But Jjs had already left Crusev hanging in the ring. Team Rage comes in and abducts Elastic again.

ACS: Alright, that's a wrap you fucks! Lets get back to the story that matters, us!

OMJ: Well folks, I guess we-we've finally ran out of time. Wumbo's ran out of time...on behalf of *tears* all of us here at Community Deathmatch...Good Fight, Good Night sweet prince. You're the best member there is, the best member there was, and the best member there ever will be

Spoiler

Three users come out with Guitar Hero controllers following the episode's conclusion

HTfi5ug.jpg

Spanky: GOOD EVENING, SBC! Wumbo, are you ready to Bubble Rock n review the Bubble Rock Band's latest jams before leaving, baybay!!??!

Foxy: Spanky, he's already dead bruh.

Spanky: Aw darn it!

Fat Lenny: Shit guys, what do we do now? I had to cancel our gig at Ween Hut Jr. for this!

Spanky: Uhhhh, BRB will brb baybay!

They proceed play on their guitar hero controllers until they exit stage right.

Meanwhile in the staff lounge, a new Deathmatch Director-in-Chief rises from Dylan's ashes.

New Director: Damn Dylan, I came just as soon as I was sure you were dead.

Well, that's enough grieving for one lifetime.

He dumps all of Dylan's things out into the Taking Out The Trash dump, including one of Dylan's many innovating features, a hyper cube of some sort, which falls into the hands of

lmHUKGP.jpg

PatBack activates the cube and summons forth another Old Man Mr Enter from inside the cube.

Leeroy: LOOK IT'S ME! OLD MAN MR ENTER!

PatBack then summons forth another and another and another and another and another and another until the Dump is filled to the brim with Mr Enters.

Leeroy: LOOK IT'S ME!

PatBack: Feed Me More

Popeye: MR ENTER!

PatBack: Feed Me More!

SB_DW: Look it's me!

PatBack: FEED ME MOOOOORE

And later on at the Krusty Towers Check-In shoutbox, an old face returns.

Shoutbox: Are you returning?

The member thought and he said

???: No...

wCRwv3c.jpg

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The following program you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein...except maybe every person portrayed herein...

...Anyway, IT'S JUST POSTS!

Episode 20 2: Episode 20 Harder: Zero Darkstar Thirty

THEN

The episode opens up to ACS and AcidicDragon marking a date on the SBM calendar for an "air show" they're planning to conduct from the comfort of their flight simulators.

ACS: Do we have any RSVP's yet?

Acidic: Nah holmes.

ACS: These idiots, they don't know what they're missing!

Acidic: Maybe we should just call it off, ese, especially if it's gonna be just us-

ACS: IT'S NOT GOING TO BE JUST US "ESSAY"! I told you already that I have some of my best men, Task Force 51 on it with us!

Acidic: You mean them Team Rage hombres?

Storm: Can I join TR?

ACS: NO NOT TEAM RAGE, EVERYBODY KNOWS TEAM RAGE IS NO MORE ANYMORE! TF-51 is an organization of ysflight organizations that Team Rage got integrated into.

Acidic: Then why does Team Rage still have their own account here on SBM?

ACS: Because Team Rage is still around, just as a subsidiary of TF-51.

Acidic: So it's not no more?

ACS: OF COURSE IT'S NO MORE BECAUSE WE ARE NOT OFFICIALLY RECOGNIZED BY TF-51 AS OUR OWN INDEPENDENT ORGANIZATION!

Acidic: But you said Team Rage is seen as a subsidiary of TF-51, so they technically do recognize you and your own-

Storm: Can I join TF-51?

ACS: NO NO NO! WRONG WRONG WRONG! You don't know just how fucking wrong you are, so I suggest you just stick a taco in it while you're still not on our list!

Acidic: Just who are these TF-51 guys anyway?

ACS: DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! An elite class of YSFlight pilots. They officially took us at Team Rage, they watch over us, monitoring our activity to prevent anymore power trips on Team Rage's part.

Acidic: So, they're your babysitters trying to keep you immature brats in line?

ACS: NO THEY ARE NOT OUR BABYSITTERS! They're our guardian blue angels, assigned to protect the likes of you from the likes of us. Hell, you all should be feeling lucky and rewarding us with medals for the services we provide here!

Acidic: So is that who this GrandMaster is?

ACS: HAVE SOME GODDAMN RESPECT WHEN EVEN UTTERING THE GRANDMASTER'S NAME OUT LOUD! But yes, he is the commander of the TF-51 fleet, the man we at Team Rage answer to.

Acidic: Horale, sounds real damn reassuring knowing that we have some real pros helping us with this air show.

Storm: Can I join The Grandmaster?

ACS: NO, NOT JUST THEM YOU NINCOMPOOP! We also have The Red Saints assisting us, as well. Consider yourself even luckier to even be in the same webspace as them!

Acidic: Who are the Red Saints?

ACS: CAPITALIZE THE T IN "THE" MOTHERFUCKER! They are the top of the elite, the ones who watch over TF-51 watching over Team Rage. The ones we at TF-51 answer to.

Acidic: Why do you even need some group of other guys watching what you do, and why do the guys watching what you do need to have some other group of guys watching over what they do while watching over what you do? Can't you all just, ya know, not be a bunch of asshats?

Storm: Can I join The Red Saints?

ACS: OF COURSE WE CAN'T NOT BE ASSHATS! Haven't you learned a goddamn thing since I took you under my aircraft wing?! We are at all-out war out there, cadet, and we can't not be asshats because we are waging war against a whole new breed of asshats who need somebody to asshat them in their place! You remember, don't ya? What those...CYBERBULLIES at SBC did when you first joined?

Acidic: Yo holmes, don't go reminding me of that crap.

ACS: THEY TEASED YOU, SLANDERED YOU ALL BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO PRETEND YOU WERE A DRAGON!

Acidic: DONT REMIND ME, GORDO!

ACS: A dragon, cadet. You, you were always a flyboy at heart right from the beginning, which is why I took you in, integrated Team Acidic into my own. I defended you, molded you into the Latino Mays you are today. WE MINECRAFT TOGETHER GODAMMIT! You are like the only closest thing I have to an acquaintance that I can honestly say I have, aside from TF-51 and The Red Saints mind you, don't forget about them! Me and you, and our friends TF-51 and The Red Saints, we can do anything that we wanna do. We have the numbers, we have the technology- you did update your YSFlight right?

Acidic: Si.

ACS: We are gonna change the landscape, by air! Starting with the SpongeBob Community.

Acidic: Si, Si! All the si's in the world mang!

Storm: *flashes them his tweets* pay attention to meeee!

ACS: NOW GET OUT THERE AND PITCH OUR IDEA!

Storm: I'll just make my own team and its gonna be easy!

Acidic: Say hello to Billy! I don't care if you don't like me, everybody wants to buy from me! Do you feel it? Do you hate the SpongeBob Community, wanna see it burn to the ground, eses?

okpng5i.jpg

Acidic: Hola! Latino Mays here with Team Acidic, Team Rage, Task Force 51 and The Red Saints' explosive airtime air show! SBC seems a lil dead to you? Make it even deader by clicking RSVP! Members on there acting like a bag of dicks? Why not castrate them by RSVPing! RSVP with three easy down payments of just $19.99, plus shipping and handling! And we ain't even done yet, cabrons! RSVP right now, and you, si you, will be acknowledged by TF-51 for just half a minute! ¡So stop having a boring life, RSVP now!

Crushing: I could go for some not having a boring life, mang.

Crushing RSVP's.

NOW

1j0paa.jpg vs VzML556.jpg

Jjs: Tonight, we will see ACS try to waddle his way into the Community Deathmatch Arena yet again. And you can only see it here, on Community Deathmatch!

Jjs: Good evening death fans! As always, I'm the lead guy from Train!

OMJ: And I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part Jewish friend!

Crushing: And say hola to The Good Guy!

Jjs: Here to welcome you to yet another pulse and ass pounding edition of SBC's longest running bi-monthly episodic serial killing serial, Community Deathmatch!

OMJ: And what a show we've got in store for you with some pretty heavy developments! Team Rage or Task Force 51 or whatever or whoever the fuck ACS decides to be this week will be looking to invade SBC airwaves, but one thing stands in his way, Jjs, and that's the Community front line, who will all give their to defend our community from any and all such aerial attacks!

Jjs: This seems to be quite the departure, no aviary puns intended, from what you had originally set up during the last three parts, Jenk Man. What the fuck is up with that?!

OMJ: Well, I thought those parts in and of themselves were quite a departure from what CD is all about, so I just flipped the script for the big finale, no fat puns intended.

Jjs: But I went through the trouble, I spent about one full minute editing the Deathmatch wiki page to include those parts and now you're telling me they're all nulled and void?

OMJ: To put it as lightly as ACS, yes.

Jjs: Thats a pretty heavy load you're dropping on me anyway, Jenks. It's like you want me to kill you!

OMJ: Please, Jjs, save it for the series finale!

Jjs: I'll certainly try, because this ain't the series finale, folks, it's the season finale!

OMJ: That's right, Deathmatch will still be alive and kicking all sorts of literal and figurative ass for probs another year to come.

Crushing: I can only hope activity here in general does the same thing, but I'm not going raise my hopes up.

OMJ: And what better way to celebrate our renewal than with welcoming back our dear deathmatch correspondent, CF, who is standing by live at the ACS' and Eights' clubhouse! And CF, I can't begin to imagine the high amount of body temperature that's in that clubhouse right now.

Jjs: I can't begin to imagine this not being the series finale already. :stinkeye:

1juSAwu.jpg

ACS: NOT MY HOUSE, YA MORONS! Don't you know where we are?! I only link you to the damned place every time you asshats dare come on cha-

fEjt9eF.jpg

ACS: Thank you!

CF: Jjs, OMJ, tensions sure are rising high here as well as the body temperature, as The ACS' & Eights plan to invade the Community Deathmatch Arena. ACS, what drove you to the point of wanting to invade this place all by yourself?

ACS: I'M NOT BY MYSELF, YOU STUPID BITCH!

Doc Hunter yanks CF's microphone out of her hand and uses it to play hot potato with Wolfie while Darris crushes a red bull can against his jerry curls.

ACS: This has all been a long time coming, about three whole years! I first came here to peddle my homemade SpongeBob games for everyone here to enjoy in the arcade, but SBC, being the pathetic, greedy lot that they deny being, shot me down right out of the sky and since then, I've been made out to be the butt of all their jokes!

Jjs: And a rather big butt, at that.

OMJ: And he cannot lie, ACS's brothers can't deny.

Crushing: But don't take their word for it, chicos.

ACS: You know, it was one thing to ban me for posting lemon party even though I only did it as part of the game and it was another thing to ban Felix-

Jjs: I thought his name was Brian?

ACS: FELIX for saying a gay slur even though it seems to be the norm now.

CF: Yes, but you were throwing the lemon party in order to insult a certified cashier at the time and Felix was only suspended, you decided to take your ball-

Jjs: If he has one,

CF: and go home.

Grandmaster: And there you all go, once again, insinuating that we are all truly one and the same. Do you know who we are, girly?

CF: You-

Darris takes the mic out of CF's hand again and crushes it against his jerry curls too.

W9LWG2Y.jpg

ACS: WE ARE ACS'S & EIGHTS! & EIGHTS! But do you really wanna know what really ignited my contempt, OUR SHARED CONTEMPT, toward this place? You all had the gallbladder to raid the IAVA Forums, which I want you all to come to by following this link:

http://intercontinental.forumotion.com/

Crushing: Wow, a place that's more inactive than SBC. Das too bad.

ACS: You SBCers had the audacity to try and violate me and my rules in my own dojo! Which I want you all to read more about here at this link:

http://sbcommunity.wikia.com/wiki/IAVA_Forums

ACS: And you SBCers try to sling your terribly unfounded multiple accounts accusations at me, but while you can never seem to find any evidence against me, I sure as hell found some against you.

5gTGR.jpg

ACS: Who we just so happen to have right here!

Y0oiJo8.jpg

Jjs & CF: CD!

CD: Please, Jjs, whatever you do! Just tell Jelly, I love her!

OMJ: I'll be sure to tell her the next time she decides to log in.

Jjs: I'm pretty sure he means Jelly from PB&J Otter.

Darris: Yeah Jjs, whatever you do, you started this thing, you better damn well end it!

Grandmaster: But as the self-appointed grand overseer of all TR-SBC affairs by no one's fault but my own, I'd like to think we are all reasonable men. So I'm gonna lay a little deal, a peace treaty if you will, on the table for you all. First, we'll have the manchild here. Then we'll have the girl.

MR-71 bashes CF in the head with hammer.

OMJ: He just bashed CF! Who in their right mind would wanna bash someone as sweet, kind and innocent as CF?!

Jjs: Oh shaddup!

Grandmaster: Then we'll roll down there, kill you all and then we'll be squared, like SpongeBob! Just a little nautical humor before dying, gentlemen. Pip pip cheerios!

The scene goes to static.

lNfIiPOl.jpg

Grandmaster: What the-?!

Jjs: Folks, it appears that The Grandmaster is grandmasturbating to Bran Flakes.

OMJ: It's gotta be the Bold New Taste, Jjs!

Crushing: Well, at least he's doing something with it mang. Don't know if I can or cannot say the same thing about SBC's activity.

Grandmaster: In my defense, it was a nice cereal box- NO THAT KIND OF NICE, NOT THAT KIND OF NICE! Gentlemen, I was just looking for the aviation channel!

g2OdAlI.jpg

OMJ: Now it appears Jjs the Jetplane takes him off!

Jjs: :stinkeye:

OMJ: Yes, folks, you can now see why it's called White Lightning!

Crushing: I must say mang, that's more action than SBC gets in a month chico.

Grandmaster: You gentlemen will play dearly for this outrage!

The ACS's and Eights chatzy cuts out.

OMJ: Well, this looks like all your fault.

Jjs: I wasn't behind that! It'd take a lot more people than just me to whip up something that funny.

OMJ: Not that, the whole IAVA spam raid thing.

Jjs: Well, I'd think he'd let it go by now!

OMJ: Jjs, the only thing ACS has let go since then is himself.

Jjs: But lets just go backstage, where special guest correspondent, E.V.I.L., is standing by with somebody who may just step up as a member of SBC's front line!

The scene cuts to Omar backstage with Terminoob, who is wearing a suit and tie and has a briefcase in hand.

Omar: lol Jjs still calling me E.V.I.L. Termi, do you like any videogames?

Termi: What kind of question is that? Why would I not like videogames? Next question.

Omar: Because heres this gay abotu spam roid us and he plays a lot of flihtg simultoras?

Termi: Well, at least I know what videogame I don't like.

Omar: what are yuo diong here anywya, aren you suppsoed to be in collage or smoething lol?

Termi: I told you, I'm thinking about pulling out of art school. Doesn't anyone listen to me! But are you talking about professionally or personally?

Omar: professorly?

Termi: Professionally, I'm here to announce that I may take part in an internship program with Pixar. Personally, well, you'll just have to wait and see.

Omar: one more thing. Because I've met people who dont like video games because "they make you a stupid member of society" and that angers me?

Termi: Every time you tell me about people you've met I don't want to believe you.

Termi ditches Omar and leaves with his briefcase.

Omar: Back to you OMJ :wub:

OMJ: Should we even bother going through the tape?

Jjs: Why? It'd just be the same thing for each of them.

OMJ: True.

Jjs: So lets just go down to the ring, where SBC's front line is about to come marching in!

The scene cuts to only Elastic, Sex and Dom making their way to the ring.

Crushing: Thats about the amount of users we get here in a day, mang.

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OMJ: They look high today.

Jjs: This is it? This is SBC's front line of defense? No wonder we got hacked so many times.

Sex: Shit man, ain't this fuckin beautiful or some shit? E-Doggy Dogg, Dr. Sexay and the Notorious B.I.G.D. together again!

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OMJ: TURNTABLE IT UP!

Jjs: So, we're just not going to have a ref or something?

Elastic: I'll allow it!

The lights go out as a group of fighter jets soar towards the deathmatch arena with some "Danger Zone" by Kenny Loggins playing in the background.

Jjs: You know, I was trying really, really, really hard to not make a Top Gun joke, but this really just takes the cake for me!

OMJ: So I'm assuming ACS won't share that cake with anybody then? Dangit.

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Felix: Who's the fag that keeps doing this?!

ACS: "A person or who owns or frequently plays YSFlight"? Jokes on you, asshats! RIP English

The ACS's and Eights land and park their simulators along the entrance ramp.

Grandmaster: Gentlemen.

Elastic: ACS, plural.

Wolfie: Look, there's only three of them!

KDFire: Pathetic! We brought all this manpower for nothing.

ACS: Looks like most of you morons tucked dicks and hid away, as I expected!

Dom: Look, can you pussies finish fingering each other so we can go home and play some Suicidal Tendencies.

ACS: We're not pussies!

ACS's & Eights: WE'RE DICKS!

They all say in unison.

Sex: Well could you kindly fuckin finish spankin each other's monkeys so we can get the fuck on then tbh!

Grandmaster: That sounds grand. Gentlemen, we shall settle who will cross swords with these heathens first through the same method we implement when deciding which one of us us shall indulge in the last three slices of pizza.

They all rock, paper scissors for it. Doc Hunter, KDFire and MR-17 being the lucky winners.

Jjs: It looks like this season finale can finally get underway.

Crushing: Jes, the amount of inactivity going on in that ring was killing me in a way that makes me feel so averagely alive.

Elastic: Any last requests?

KDFire: Can we request a potential last meal?

Dom: How's bout a knuckle sammich!

Dom punches KD, sending him ricocheting off the ropes and back into another right hook courtesy of Big D.

OMJ: Big D is knocking KD around the ring senseless!

Grandmaster: Gentlemen.

Jjs: What in Neptune's name are you doing here in the broadcast booth?!

Grandmaster: Well, as the self-appointed grand spectator of all TR-SBC conflicts, I figured I'd take upon myself, which is no one's fault but my own, to spectate this conflict while also giving some of my riveting commentary on said conflic-

Jjs: Alright, just eat a Ding Dong and shut up.

Crushing: Take a seat mang, this commentary could use a bit more contribution chico.

Sex and Doc Hunter eye each other up.

Hunter: Ehhh, what's up Doc?

Sex: Who the FUCK you think you running around callin yo'self "Doc" bitch ass? I don't see no certifrycates muh'fucka!

Hunter: I am ACS's and Eights official team medic.

Sex: Aight, I gotchu. But you gon' need one medic once I'm through fuckin up your ass! No pause on dat.

Sex busts out a couple of scalpels and lunges at Hunter, who anticipates his every move with his surgical saw. They clash weapons while Elastic growls at MR-17.

Elastic: MR-17? What's that stand for, mentally retarded?

MR-17: Oh, real mature.

Elastic: Coming from the guy who thinks posting lemon party is a good enough insult. Surprised you didn't eat it, thinking it was a real lemon.

MR-17: You do know that in my home country of Korea, we eat dogs?

Elastic: *yelp*

MR busts out some chopsticks and chases Elastic around the ring.

OMJ: You do know, that's no entirely true, right?

Grandmaster: Of course, can't blame MR for wanting to have some fun with his adversaries.

OMJ: Mang, get your fuckin facts right before you try pretending to be people from foreign countries.

Grandmaster: I wouldn't consider Canada to be that foreign.

Jjs: But he said his home country is Korea.

Grandmaster: Yes, he's a Canadian who was born in Korea.

OMJ: He looks like he could be the sultan of the fuckin Sudan! You expect us to believe he's a Canadian Korean?

Grandmaster: SpongeOddFan is Canadian yet looks as though he has Hindu in him.

Jjs: Wait, wait, wait! So you decided to make up your own SOF/Shin hybrid friend? That's so sad, I could cry, in laughter.

Crushing: Well, at least he's doing something mang. I think SBC could learn a thing or two from him about appealing to some more multi-cultural members, or not.

Dom knocks KD into a corner. KD slumps over, sitting down against the turnbuckle. This gives Big D some ideas.

Jjs: Dom isolates KD in a corner!

OMJ: There is no telling what he might do!

Crushing: Well hopefully it contributes something that gets SBC out of this slump mang.

Grandmaster: Laughable, KD could kill him in nine different ways right now.

Dom faces his gorilla ass towards KD and smacks it a lil.

Crushing: While I admire his efforts chicos, I only see this getting SBC out of it's humps.

OMJ: Awwwww shiiiit! Dom "Big Booty" Wilson! XyDLoho.jpg

Jjs: Dom seems to be spanking a monkey that just so happens to be himself! It can only mean one thing, folks!

OMJ: STINKFACE

Grandmaster: Do you mind running that by me, gentlemen.

OMJ: insta-fucking-death

Grandmaster: So it's some other form Instagram? Hahahahaha! Come on, laugh with me gentlemen. That was real humor at its pristine finest.

KD liked his joke.

Grandmaster: See, KD liked it.

OMJ: Is there anything about yourself that you don't like?

Jjs: You all share the same stank ass sense of humor too.

OMJ: But speaking of stank, Jjs, Dom is about to lay on some stank right onto KD's face! And if you thought the stinkeye was something, folks, well, you ain't stinkeyed at nothin yet :stinkeye:

Dom: Look at that booty, show me the booty, give me the booty, I want the the booty, back up the booty!

Dom proceeds to back it up into KD, who finally snaps out of his delusional state and begins to panic once he notices the assteroid heading dangerously closer to his face's orbit.

OMJ: You know, cuz he so fat that he has his own orbit!...no? okay...

KD liked his joke then immediately disliked it.

Before Dom's bum can make contact, Darris goes John Marston on his ass, literally, and throws a stick of dynamite firmly in his crack.

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KD kicks his butt away to the middle of the ring. Before Dom could counteract, the dynamite sets off, assploding him into a buhmillion pieces.

Grandmaster: Way #6 out of 9? A bit sloppy on the execution, but just as we rehearsed. I tip my top hat and adjust my monocle to those gentlemen.

Jjs: I can't believe it! Dom's end just came to a rather abrupt end just now!

OMJ: Rest in your own shit you albino gorilla sumbitch. You went ape long before I made it cool *salute*

Crushing: Dang shame mang. At least that makes one more thing that's deader than SBC these days.

Jjs: And Sex and Elastic are not liking this one bit!

OMJ: Maybe they would if it were in 3D or directed by Lloyd Kaufman.

Sex & Elastic: DOOOOOOM!!!

Elastic: He died as he lived, with a stick up his ass.

Jjs: A stick of dynamite to be exact.

The screen statics out again.

Jjs: What the holy barnacle?!

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Grandmaster: What is the meaning of this preposterous, slanderous outrage against Team Rage?!

OMJ: I thought you were TF-

Grandmaster: I SAID WHAT I SAID!

Jjs: KD is throwing a fit in the ring!

OMJ: And not just any fit, Jjs, a Wii Fit!

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OMJ: Now you definitely know ACS won't be hitting that thing up anytime soon!

Crushing: I can see why he did that mang, why keep active when you can try and keep active on SBC chicos.

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KD: Once I find out which one of you inbred degenerates is doing this, I'm gonna place you on our list so hard!

Jjs: Hmm, it appears somebody is calling me, excuse me.

Jjs gets on his phone, whispers a bit then hangs up.

OMJ: Who was it?

Jjs: It was my friend Pot calling to tell me that the kettle's black!

OMJ: Be careful how you use that joke, Jjs, Nuggets might get offended for some reason.

Grandmaster: Is this what we come to see when we try to raid your community? You trying to ruin the sanctity of our good name with juvenile fecal tossing.

OMJ: GM, can I ask you something?

Grandmaster: Well, as the Grandmaster, I do have all the answers pertaining to TR-SBC relations even though I haven't stepped foot here for more than a hot minute, so shoot.

OMJ: DOES THIS LOOK 17 TO YOU? rdGDPhy.jpg

KD joins in with Doc Hunter in beating down Sex.

Jjs: KD and Hunter are trying to do Sex in from forward and back- no, no wait! Side to side!

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Jjs: Now KD is absolutely fuming!

OMJ: He's like a steamed vegetable, only with a lot more trans fat!

While KD and the rest of ACS's and Eights are raging and adding various names to their shit list, Sex undergoes a startling transformation.

Sex: This...is for Dom muthafuckaaaaas! :glare::funny::glare::funny::glare::funny::stinkeye:

Sex transforms into Dr. Sexagon.

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OMJ: Paging Dr. Sexgaon, Dr. Sexagon!

Jjs: Thats right folks, you've seen it first here! The love child between Sex's dad and a hexagon has finally appeared in a Deathmatch ring with a scalpel and microphone in hand! This can only go one of two ways: death on the operating table

OMJ: Or continuing to pester me about my mic :glare:

Crushing: You should find your mic pronto mang, but I'm sure you have a good reason why you haven't yet.

Moving faster than an ambulance on its way to the scene of an accident, Sex covertly maneuvers his way towards KD unseen.

Dr. Sexagon: Erectile dysfunction's got your dick feeling down? I have just the prescription you need.

Sexagon slams KD down flat on the mat. Hunter tries to intervene, but Sexagon disarms him of his surgical saw and sends him flying into the rest of the ACS's and Eights outside the ring. Using both his scalpel and surgical saw, he proceeds to penetrate and carve into KD's crotch, blood oozing and leaking out everywhere.

Jjs: Somebody call Quentin Tarantino and tell him to bring his camera!

OMJ: It's leaking all over the place, Jjs, I don't think Quentin would like that one bit!

Grandmaster: I love Reservoir Dogs. Needless to say, I'm the Mr. White of TF-51.

Jjs: Well hopefully you all drop dead by the end of this.

OMJ: And one of you end up in real butt-pounding jail.

Jjs: But speaking of butt-pounding, Jenks, Sexagon is hammering away on KD! Literally tearing him a new one something fierce!

OMJ: He's performing his signature Sex Change Operation on the Team Rager, bringing somewhat of a whole new meaning to "trans fat"!

Sexagon ravages KD's crotch to oblivion, leaving his now dead body laying in a pool of his own blood and sex organs.

Jjs: Well I think it's safe to assume that KD's Fire has officially burned out, much like his crotch.

Grandmaster: Reminds me of the time I went down to Sweden with Odysseus.

Jjs: ...The hero of Greek myth? Who the fuck is he!?

OMJ: Did you guys poke a guy in the eye with your spears? And by a guy I mean yourselves.

Jjs: Now that's a Greek innuendo I think even Sex would approve of.

ACS: HUNTER, YA MORON! Quit putting yourself out there for your millions of skype callers to see and get back in there and show that degenerate asshat just who is the hunter and the hunted around heeeere!

Doc Hunter finally stops playing up to his millions of fans and gets back in the ring with Sex and they begin trading blows, bruising each other's faces. All while MR is trying to chopstick Elastic to death.

Jjs: The doctors are trading and injecting a barrage of shots smack dab into each other's faces.

Grandmaster: This could prove to be detrimental to Hunter's movie career.

The screen statics in and out again.

Spoiler
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Hunter: Crikey!

OMJ: Well if those hard shots to the face don't prove to be a detriment, I'm sure that would!

Jjs: ...Is-is he the kid from Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day?

Crush: He should take all that bad and turn it into a good thing mang.

Grandmaster: What? No, I would never associate myself with someone who stars in such schmuck-

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Jjs: That is so sad, you can make a commercial out of it for the ACSPCA.

Grandmaster: Alright, I can be the bigger man here.

OMJ: I'm sure that's not putting it lightly.

Grandmaster: It's true! I am friends, and I am damn proud to be friends, with someone who stars in such schmuck! And for you degenerate pieces of dung to even dare make me ashamed of my association with a fine, fine young man, someone who I have taken down under my wing, someone who has more potential in his uncircumcised stub (something that I know through no one's fault but my own) than you all have in your entire bodies combined! And not just him, but Wolfie!

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Grandmaster: The quite as dashing fine young man you so excluded from your little juvenile delinquencies.

Jjs: Lincoln Melcher?

Grandmaster: YES, LINCOLN COCKAMANY MELCHER! Also from Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day as well as Nicky, Ricky, Dick AND Dawn!

Jjs: Thats a mouthful.

OMJ: Well, he sure does like stuffing his mouth full.

Wolfie suddenly pounces into the ring and surprises Dr. Sexagon with his dreaded Wolf Fang Fist before proceeding to maul him and tearing Sexagon's head off with his mouth.

OMJ: Ha!

Elastic successfully fights MR off for the moment but suddenly finds himself surrounded in the ring by the rest of the ACS's and Eights.

Grandmaster: I don't think you gentlemen quite know the hole you are continuously and rapidly digging yourselves into-

???: Whoa, just take it easy man and take some Viagra.

Grandmaster: Really? This? Again?!

ACS: WE WILL NOT TAKE IT EASY! The ACS' and Eights takes it hard! We go in hard, we are hard, we don't need Viagra! WE ARE THE VERY DEFINITION OF HARD.

???: Yes, quite like that hard, constipated piece of shit that you can never quite push out of there. But if anybody, and I mean anybody, is gonna be digging graves and burying people in them, it's gonna be...me...

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Clappy: Accompanied by these guys :laugh:

In Memory Of Big Muthafuckin' D

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And Tim "Big Booty" Wilson

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