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XD These are pretty funny.

As for other potential matches...

Nards vs. SBManiac

Nuggets vs. SBManiac

Nards vs. ACS/Team Rage

Also, you might want to use my info from SBM instead of here for the tapes. Just saying. :P

Stop obsessing about yourself and nards. :P

I guess Elastic and some others like maybe Sex and Clappy could go up against team rage again. If not make sure it includes me throwing sports stuff everywhere as a twist. :smirk:

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Stop obsessing about yourself and nards. :P

I guess Elastic and some others like maybe Sex and Clappy could go up against team rage again. If not make sure it includes me throwing sports stuff everywhere as a twist. :smirk:

I only mentioned him there because we have similar personalities (kind of, think?). Also, stop obsessing over him? When did I start? :P

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XD These are pretty funny.

As for other potential matches...

Nards vs. SBManiac

Nuggets vs. SBManiac

Nards vs. ACS/Team Rage

Also, you might want to use my info from SBM instead of here for the tapes. Just saying. :P

I'd totes tackle those, but I'd probably have to do some pretty major research first :P except for maybe Nards/ACS
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This episode originally had a bunch of smileys but I had to knock a bunch of colons out of them due to SBC having a smiley limit. So yeah, if you see (funny) or (stinkeye), just picture the emotes there. On with the show!

The following program you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein...except maybe Drag...

...Anyway, IT'S JUST POSTS!

Episode 15: 2emote4SBC

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OMJ: The Moderator Originator of the "As Moderator..." quotes takes on The Spammer Innovator of one sentence spinoffs! Here tonight, on Community Deathmatch!

OMJ: Welcome death fans! And we welcome you to yet another, long-awaited, butt-pounding, more than likely underwhelming follow-up to yet another surprise hit in last episode's historic Deathmatch! We are now 2-for-2! I'm 1/4 of the Fantastic Four! And back from his umpteenth break/hiatus/sabbatical/Clappatical or whatever the hell he wants to call them! The other 1/4 of the Fantastic Four, himself! You know em! You love em! You can't get enough of em! The Master of the Ancient Art of The Clap, himself! Ready those status updates and scroll your mouse cursors over the like button on his posts, folks! Because he's fruity! He's Chewy! He's fresh and juicy and bah gawd I'm not talking about skittles here! The Clapigal Son returns! Please fixate your utmost attention to the southwest corridor, I hear the long week-awaited certain chapter of a certain something may be that-a-way! You know what I'm talkin bout! Searching For Sandy!

The guests and users in attendance face the southwest corridor where the broadcast booth stands above.

OMJ: Well thank you for ruining my reference, imbeciles. Allow me to once agayn reintroduce to you-

ZaidCatDog: I'm back. Yes. :funny:

OMJ: Well, he's here too, but I'm actually talking about the over 5-TIME, 5-TIME, 5-TIME, 5-TIME, 5-TIME Golden Community Award Winner! In person and not in keek form, might I add! My co-guest broadcast partner tonight is a user that will give you the clap and absolutely SHOCK YOU! Theeeeeeee Clapmaster!

*DYNAMIC RE-ENTRY*

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Zaid: Who the fuck is this guy? (funny)

OMJ: Who the fuck are you, guy?

Zaid: I can spell my name really good! Z-A-I-D-C-A-TTTTTTTTTTTTTT-D-O-Double G. ZaidCatDog! Yes (funny)

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Clapmaster: FINALLY! The Clap! Has come back! To the Community...Deathmatch Arena!

OMJ: I hope your reintroduction was to your liking?

Clappy: 'twas good, could've used more of THIS.

Clappy claps his hands together twice. A large banner saying "Clappy's Back! Alright!" covers the Community Deathmatch logo as funfetti and Bobbeh balloons descend into the audience in attendance in the arena from the rafters.

Clappy: Now it's to my liking.

OMJ: Well, I'm glad. Now that all of that is outta the way-

Clappy: Go like my posts.

OMJ: Liking.

Zaid: Licking. (funny)

Clappy: What a hell of a deathmatch do I have in store for you tonight, folks! A deathmatch I can recall suggesting to the Jenk Man, myself, not too far back! Two almost complete, polar opposites re-igniting their old feud once more to fight each other to the bitter end! An instant Claple Classic! While these two are busy liking me, lets head backstage, where our deathmatch correspondent is standing by with tonight's combatants!

Rock Goddess is shown backstage.

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Rock Goddess: Clappy, sorryyy about your cousin btw. I just couldn't help myself, he just couldn't keep away from my vag! How's about you give me the clap and we'll call it Even Stevens? (funny)

Zaid: Can I lick this guy? :funny: I think it's important! I think it's important for me to like lick this guy because-

Rock Goddess: I am radiantly standing by with one half of our lil throw down tonight, none other than Teenj, in theeeeeee flesh.

Teenj: Yes, it's me. Longest reigning moderator and the author of the longest-running spinoff in SBC history, Teenj!

Rock Goddess: Mmm, you don't say? Is that any indication of just how long you can last in bed with lil ole meeee?

Teenj: No sir and/or madam, I don't think I gave any indication to that at all.

Rock Goddess: You're a tween, boy. You're still lost and confused within a gaping pool of your own hormones. Answer me this, teeny weeny, do you want to become a maaaan? A big, strong man? So much so that they'll call you Double Teenj in the Mornin? (funny)

Teenj: Take this as a warning, no sexual harassing other members.

Rock Goddess: Now you're just giving me blue balls, you tease!

Teenj: But Drag can take this as a warning for himself, As a former moderator, I will plant your no good, spamming, waste of data space ass into the cold, hard ground in an unmarked and well-deserved grave.

Rock Goddess: Something's cold and hard, alright.

The scene switches to Dragiiin as casually waltzes around backstage not all there. Rock Goddess.

Rock Goddess: Oh Draggy, I'm so glad I finally found you!

Drag: Where else would I be, THE XAT? Actually, yeah, that's exactly where'd I be because I have better things to do than being in this community!

Rock Goddess: Like me? (funny)

Drag: Yeah, exactly yo. I could be TEARING YOU A BRAND NEW ONE RIGHT NOW, but I'm stuck here, waiting for some pissing match with someone! Hell, if you're active here weekly, you'll notice that I'm not quite as active anymore, I barely even post at all. And you know why's that? It's because when I log into this community, THE SEAS PART YO! I'm like Neptune, Dylan during his times of the month, no one wanna gets within ten feet of me yo! I'm this generation of SBC's version of Blubber! Nobody wants to sign up and step into the spin off section with Dragiiin123! Because they know they get fucked yo. They get fucked in the head, and they get fucked in the hands, and get fucked in the mouth, AND GET FUCKED IN THE EARS! Nobody wants to quote me! Not even a legend, a sure fire Spin Off Hall of Famer, who hasn't acknowledge me in MONTHS, an old man that I REESPECT, who's too fuckin afraid to post a post in response to me yo!

Rock Goddess: Wanna work those issues out someplace that's more...private?

Drag: So who did the second penis poster pit me up against tonight, huh? Story? I can handle a little fucking story time! THE LITTLEST SEAELF SAID- or is it, repairman? That booty fucker! I'd cut his cunt out and slap the blood on his living room walls before he ever got the chance to repair my tv! Deli? She'll be meeting her hero, Jim Hensen, ONCE I'M THROUGH-

Teenj: You're up against me, Drag Queen.

Teenj walks into view.

Drag: Teenj, you flutter me, yo rlly do. Which is why you and I should just kiss and be Internet friends again like the good ole days yo! Back when Team SpongeBob sucked a tiny bit more than it does now and when Team Squidword was just all the FUCKING RAGE BETTER THAN THE ORIGINOL AT THE TIME!

Teenj: You watch your mouth.

Drag: yo reading dat shit, it messes with people's minds yo, it downright fucks it to pieces and ribbons and everything in between yo! Whereas my shit fucks people's minds the right way, NOT YOUR WAY, THE RIGHT WAY YO! And I know it just eats you up on the inside knowing that my shit yo can ring in more buzz in a mere single sentence than your's can in a week's worth yo!

Teenj: You wish your writing was on my level

Drag: And I see you trying to be bold and brash there, yet you're just another face in the crowd known only by his title, a position that any shit-for-brain can do, hell even I was moderator once upon a time and you didn't see me bolding and coloring in every little action I took!

Teenj: A very big mistake on the staff's part at the time, probably the biggest they ever made. They did themselves a favor canning you. Then they did everyone a favor by modding me.

Drag: yo just who the fuck did you gave a favor to to even be considered for that promotion? 70s??

Rock Goddess: Boys! Boys! Boys! Boys, please! Save it for my vagina!

Drag: You wanna talk big with your mod powers, well I've got your mod power right here! *grabs crotch*

Rock Goddess: Mmm, I'd like a taste of that power.

Teenj: We'll see just how far that silver tongue takes you in that ring tonight when I yank it right out of your throat

Drag: YOU- ...yu rlly- ... u SH- ...

Drag posts some penises at Teenj before walking out to the ring, Teenj follows suit.

Rock Goddess: This has been another interview with Rooooooock Gooooddess...

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Clappy: What the hell was that all about?

OMJ: Pffff your guess is as good as mine. You have your Ex, I have my Drag. It's rather poetic.

Clappy: I bet my Ex is better than your Drag (stinkeye)

Zaid: Ooh! Ooh! Wanna know what I think? :funny:

Clappy and OMJ double teams Zaid before throwing him out of the broadcast booth through the booth's glass window.

OMJ: That was almost as dynamic an exit as your dynamic exits.

Clappy: Clapnamic exits :stinkeye:

OMJ: Dyclapic exits :stinkeye:

Static flashes on the screen before a fuzzy image of Team Rage and one other person in a Payday mask are shown. It looks as if it's being recorded on ACS' camcorder.

ACS: We are Rage.

Darris: We are Legion.

Felix: We do not Forgive.

Kilo: We do not Forget.

The fifth Rager walks casually walks past the other four from behind and approaches the camera.

The GrandMaster: Expect Us.

The screen statics out again, returning to your regularly scheduled match to the death.

OMJ: Dafuq was that?

Clappy: Jeez yet another member of Team Rage?

OMJ: And The GrandMaster? I thought Darris was their commander? (stinkeye)

Clappy: It's quite obvious it's ACS. (stinkeye)

OMJ: It's quite obvious that they're all ACS! (stinkeye)

Clappy: I'm glad we can agree on something. (stinkeye)

OMJ: How's about we agree to look at the tape (stinkeye)

Clappy: Agreed (stinkeye)

OMJ: Someone should really do something about E-Dawg tho.

Clappy: Can't, too bus(t)y (stinkeye)

OMJ: If only Cha were still around.

Clappy: If only (stinkeye)

OMJ: Well, lets just get this new deathmatch on the road.

Clappy: Why didn't you tell me there was a new deathmatch? (Stinkeye)

OMJ: You're on it! (Stinkeye)

Teenj

Join Date: July 22, 2010

User Rank: Abominable Snow Mollusk

Group: Retired Employees

Profile Views: 131147

Member Title: I've Got The Eye Of The Tiger <3

Age: 15 years old

Birthday: May 11, 1998

Gender: Male

Interests: coo coo banana's

Location: South Of Nowhere

Favorite Episode: Treats

Favorite Character: Sandy

Clappy: Hailing from a teenick show! This recently Retired Employee has got the eye of the tiger and looks to be pulling a full-blown Rocky here tonight by coming out of retirement to enter the Deathmatch Arena!

OMJ: This Abominable Snow Mollusk got almost four whole years of experience under his belt, with almost three years of cashier experience to boot!

Clappy: The 130+ profile views also helps his chances, might I add! He's also 15 going on 16, Jenks!

OMJ: Like the movie! Except off by like 14 years... He is interested in coo coo banana's tho! I hope to Neptune that that's a Degrassi reference, it'd make me feel better about myself knowing that.

Clappy: His favorite episode is Treats and his favorite character is Sandy!

OMJ: An episode I never heard of at all in my life! But lets not forget his other accomplishments and achievements! Along with being the creator of the longest-running episodic spinoff on SBC, he has even more accomplishments that you can look at, all of it placed in Teenj's sig for your (and my) convenience!

Dragiiin

Join Date: October 17, 2009

User Rank: Triton

Group: Customers

Profile Views: 37461

Member Title: THE GLOW IS GONE

Age: 16 years old

Birthday: February 22, 1998

Gender: Not Telling

Interests: oh yea

Favorite Episode: Band Geeks

Clappy: oh yea, this is what I'm talking about!

OMJ: THE GLOW IS GONE! Which I'm pretty sure was inspired by something Teenj said. Pretty, pretty sure.

Clappy: A customer here for 4+ years! He ain't telling us his gender, Jenks, but we do know that he's a he!

OMJ: Or is he? (stinkeye)

Clappy: Implying he is a she? (stinkeye)

OMJ: oh yea. He comes ranking in as Triton, which is surprisingly outranked by an Abominable Snow Mollusk!

Clappy: He recently celebrated his sweet sixteen! Making him just a couple mere months older than his opponent!

OMJ: He is also no stranger to being a cashier, Claps! Having served on the staff briefly during 2010.

Clappy: As well as a former Good Noodle and Karate Chopper back when teams still mattered! He is outclassed by a pretty wide margin in terms of profile views, trailing his opponent by almost a full 100k!

OMJ: And his favorite episode is the fan favorite Band Geeks! Good deal, good deal. But now that we got all the formalities out of the way, how's about we-

Clappy: Finally ask Clappy some questions!

OMJ: Or, we can head down to the deathmatch ring, where referee Elasti- oh yeah, that's right. Times like these, I really wish I weren't so lazy to help a brother out.

Clappy: Me and my ask thread both know those feels :stinkeye:

The sound of a hammer hammering blares throughout the arena as Halibut is shown at ringside, standing behind his podium.

Halibut: May I have some decorum on this public forum, please! Users and lurked, I am well aware that you all here this evening to view two long, storied, heated rivals get at each other's throats for your amusement, but I'm afraid I have some BAD REVIEEEWWS! Teenj, your stint as cashier was nothing short of forgettable, your written works are nothing short of horrible, and you, sir, should feel nothing short of horrible! Dragiiin123, you, my friend, are the undisputed picture boy of all that "booty" is to you! Thank you very much!

Halibut continues hammering down on his podium.

Clappy: Bad Reviews Halibut. Marvelous! (Stinkeye:

OMJ: These are gonna be some pretty big shoes to fill, the only other former SBC Court judge is still out of action and we don't have anymore dog user. Unless Dogelover counts, but this is such short notice.

Zaid: Ooh! Ooh! I can ref! I can ref! I think it's important! That I should referee this match! I should referee this match because I'm half dog! Half cat! and half zaid! Yes. :funny:

OMJ: No! (stinkeye)

Zaid: Jenk (funny)

OMJ: No! (stinkeye)

Zaid: Jenk (funny)

OMJ: NO! (stinkeye)

Zaid: (funny)

OMJ: Well then-

Zaid: Jenk (funny)

OMJ: *sighs and throws Zaid a referee badge to put on his profile*

Request__Moments_Like_These____by_Dreami

Clappy: Why don't you make me a referee? :stinkeye:

OMJ: Because shaddup :stinkeye:

Clappy: Clappup :stinkeye:

We go down to the ring where Teenj and Drag are awaiting Zaid's call to start the match.

Zaid: Alright you two, I want a bad, dirty fight! Yes. No funny business! Trust me, I'll know :funny: any last requests?

Teenj: Team SpongeBob -

Ep.117 "The Gateway" is up!

Drag: yo like why man. why did the thought of making a spongebab spinoff about karate one some island run thru yo mind yo? Other than that, good grammar situations. 11/10

Zaid: Then lets get it on! :funny:

Drag immediately knocks Teenj away with a vicious Dragiiin Tail.

OMJ: Dragiiin right on the attack with a nasty, stank looking Dragiiin Tail!

Teenj bounces off the ropes and ricochets back with a stiff kick to Drag's head.

Clap: But Teenj literally bounces back with a hard kick to the head of the Dragiiin!

Teenj beats on Drag while he's down before trying to stomp his head in.

Clappy: Teenj looking to smash his opponent's right in!

Teenj jumps into the air for a double curb stomp, but Drag manages to drag himself out of the way. Teenj lands on his feet. Dragiiin opens his mouth for a Dragiiin Pulse, catching his opponent in the resulting shock wave.

Clappy: Teenj has found himself on the receiving end of a Dragiiin Pulse!

OMJ: And t looked pretty damn effective if you ask me, Claps!

Clappy: Super effective (stinkeye)

OMJ: Lowered his opponent's stats, even (stinkeye)

Drag charges at Teenj for a Dragiiin Rush, but Teenj manages to roundhouse kick him away before laying into him with a flurry of karate combos.

OMJ: Teenj absolutely relentless with his Kung fu fighting!

Clappy: Relentless like the first few seasons of Team SpongeBob (stinkeye)

OMJ: I wouldn't really know (stinkeye)

Clappy: Say, what are you doing there Jenk Man?

OMJ: Taking some time out of this match to post a few wrestling-related gifaroonies for Aya for when she comes back from the dead. Eventually. Hopefully. No guaran-bo-baren-tees.

Clappy: Me too!

They post a bunch of Shield pictures and gifs on Aya's ask thread.

Clappy: Bet I can get more likes than you! (stinkeye)

OMJ: Who says this is about likes, I'm doing this because I ain't got shit on my mind to ask her (stinkeye)

Clappy: I'll ask her some Lana. Yeh. Yeh, Aya loves Lana.

OMJ: Yeh, enough for her to ask you how your day is, friend, while she only comes to me when she wants to be entertained like some jester when she should know better that I don't do unboring people, minus the friend part (stinkeye)

Dragiiin catches Teenj off guard in the middle of his combos with his Dragiiin Breath. Teenj reels back in disgust giving Dragiiin the opportunity to take him down with a Dragiiin Rush.

OMJ: Dragiiin with his turrble Dragiiin Breath!

Clappy: About as turrble as the first few seasons of Team SpongeBob (stinkeye)

Dragiiin lays some Dragiiin Claws into his opponent.

OMJ: Dragiiin just mercilessly clawing into Teenj at the moment!

Clappy: Like how I'm mercilessly clawing into the first few seasons of Team SpongeBob at the moment (stinkeye)

Teenj manages to catch one of Dragiiin's claws in his hands before proceeding to drive Drag's forearm into his knee.

OMJ: BAH GA-

Clappy: BAH GAWD DING, AS NEPTUNE IS MY WITNESS, THAT FOREARM HAS BEEN BROKEN SMACK DAB IN HALF!

OMJ: (stinkeye)

Teenj grabs Drag's injured arm and locks him into a Kimura, wrenching away at his opponent's arm like Drag crazy.

OMJ: Teenj has just locked in that damn Kimura, once agayn showing off more of unparalleled his Kung Fu prowess!

Clappy: He's like every fighting-type pokemon rolled into one (stinkeye)

OMJ: Except Hitmontop (stinkeye)

Clappy: Why not Hitmontop? (stinkeye)

OMJ: Because he ain't fighting upside down :stinkeye:

Dragiiin roars and "yo's" in pain before sprouting a pair of dragon wings from his back and taking flight into the air with Teenj still locked on to him with his Kimura. He soars around the arena before jetting high up into the air, through the Deathmatch Arena's ceiling. He takes Teenj all the way into orbit and wraps around the entire Earth, trying to disorient Teenj into loosening his hold.

Clappy: Dragiiin has just sprouted wings and has taken flight with Teenj in tow, blasting off like a Team Rocket into outer space!

OMJ: Say hi to Sandra Bullock for me.

Clappy: Say hi to George Clooney for me (stinkeye)

OMJ: Those are the only two people I know who are in dat movie :stinkeye:

Clappy: Say, what are you up to there, Jenks?

OMJ: Just taking some more time out of this deathmatch to post this high-larious Nova vid to Sauce's ask thread.

Clappy: Uhhhh ME TOO!

Clappy posts some of TobyGames' Happy Wheels videos on Sauce's ask thread.

OMJ: That spaz? Who the fuck watches him? (stinkeye)

Clappy: Sauce will, you watch (stinkeye)

Dragiiin comes crashing back through the roof before Seismic Tossing Teenj back down into the ring hard, saving what's left of his arm.

Clappy: Dragiiin with an emphatic Seismic Slam to Teenj!

OMJ: You would think it'd kill us all from that velocity and speed they were going.

Clappy: Or worse (stinkeye)

OMJ: Now you're just giving me the stinkeye for the sake of giving me a stinkeye (stinkeye)

Dragiiin takes it to the air again.

OMJ: Looks like Team Rocket's blast off again.

Dragiiin floats over Teenj and breathes down a flamethrower on top of him, but Teenj rolls out of out of the way of the flames.

Clappy: Teenj barely manages to avoid Dragiiin's flaming!

Dragiiin proceeds to make Teenj run for his life by shooting more flamethrowers at him.

Clappy: Dragiiin's just making Teenj squirm as he rains hellfire down into the ring!

OMJ: Don't tell Cha that.

Clappy: Say Jenks, what are you up to now?

OMJ: Posting some Jared Padalecki to get Moose hyped for the new Supernatural coming up.

Clappy: ME TOO!

Clappy posts some Jared pics from his younger years in Sauce's thread.

OMJ: You don't even watch the show! (stinkeye)

Clappy: I've seen bits and pieces of season one (stinkeye)

OMJ: And I thought Sauce did a bad job watching this show (stinkeye)

Clappy: Implying that I'm worse than her at something? (stinkeye)

OMJ: That's exactly what I'm implying! (stinkeye)

Clappy: Well then *posts some Kevin Jonas and Zac Efron*

Back in the ring, Drag suddenly gets shot out of the air by a wad of muddy rocks. He plummets back into the ring, covered in this muddy substance.

OMJ: Dear Neptune below! You have got to be kidding me! That can't be, it just can't be!

Clappy: It is! :stinkeye:

OMJ: THE MUD MAAAAAAAN!!! And he's muddier than ever! Straight out-

Clappy: Straight out of Davy Jones Locker, itself, folks!

OMJ: :stinkeye:

Drag suddenly gets pelted by some stony rocks.

OMJ: HOLY SHIT!

Clappy: It's the Stone Man!

Stone Man users harden before pelting Drag with a few punches and Rock Throws. Drag takes all the attacks head on.

Clappy: Dragiiin doesn't look to be flinching here, Jenks!

Drag suddenly Dragiiin Rushes the Stone Man before Dragiiin Clawing the Mud Man. Drag looks to refocus on Teenj but gets flamed on from behind.

OMJ: Mother of pearl! It's the Fire Man!

Clappy: Talk about unimaginative here, folks! Vintage Teenj!

Drag shoots out a flamethrower of his own, which collides with the Fire Man's own flamethrower. They struggle for a bit, each man trying to overpower the other.

OMJ: Dragiiin's really holding his own here!

Clappy: As per usual (stinkeye)

As they continue their flaming duel, Mud Man and Stone Man fuse together to become Rock Man, who calls upon the help of the other Men. Dragiiin gets teamed up and attacked from behind by not only the Rock Man, but by Water Man, Grass Man, Poison Man, Ice Man, Bug Man, Flying Man, Fighting Man, Electric Man, Ground Man, Steel Man, Psychic Man, Ghost Man and Darkman (played by Liam Neeson) and Teenj, the Normal Man. The combined League of Extraordinary PokeMen!

OMJ: Wow! Liam really is in everything. I never thought our budget would ever be able to cover him.

Clappy: I hope you aren't typecasting him (stinkeye)

OMJ: Implying Teenj is his kidnapped daughter? (stinkeye)

Dragiiin starts fuming and raging as the League's combined attack looks to overwhelm him.

Clappy: This doesn't look good, Jenks!

OMJ: Dragiiin could finally get banned here!

Clappy: I meant for Teenj :stinkeye:

OMJ: What are you talking about? Clearly-

Drag suddenly unleashes his Dragiiin Rage, totally destroying everybody around him.

Clappy: Dragiiin's RAAAAAAAAGE!

OMJ: I can't believe what I just saw here, folks! Dragiiin has just completely decimated all his adversaries in the ring with one fatal attack of pure, unadulterated rage!

Clappy: I wouldn't wanna be you, considering he's got some thing against ya (stinkeye)

Zaid surveys the mangled corpses laid out throughout the ring.

Zaid: It'll do :funny: WINNER-

A figure suddenly emerges from the wreckage.

Teenj: Hey Drag Queen! I still got some HP left in me

Drag: yo y? Y don't you just stay ded? wht gos thru yur head GETTING BACK UP?

Drag Dragiiin Rushes at Teenj again, but gets cut off by another figure who appears in the ring, flat-out stopping his attack.

OMJ: Oh my goodness! Clapward?!

Clappy: It's FAIRY MAN!! :stinkeye:

Fairy Man uses Disarming Voice on Dragiiin.

OMJ: Disarming Voice! Disarming Voice!

Clappy: No doubt causing Dragiiin emotional damage!

Dragiiin goes to attack Fairy Man with his Dragiiin Claw, but Fairy Man counters with a Dazzling Gleam, planting Sweet Kiss on Drag's cheek before Playing Rough with him.

OMJ: Fairy Man is just having his way with Drag here tonight!

Clappy: Never have I seen Drag more vulnerable than he is now :stinkeye:

Fairy Man beats Drag into the corner turnbuckle before using the hole that Drag made in the ceiling earlier to draw in energy from the moon for one final Moonblast.

Clappy: Fairy Man looks to finish things off for Teenj with a very fatal Moonblast! Jenks, a Moonblast at this close of a range could only spell death for Drag, as we know him.

Drag suddenly pulls out a clarinet and begins playing on it, terribly.

OMJ: Drag using Team Squidword's signature clarinet, also straight out of Davy Jones Locker, to play his swan song, I see. And it is beautiful!

Clappy: No Jenk Man, look! :stinkeye: He's using the power of Team Squidword to lull Fairy Man to sleep.

Fairy Man crashes down to the mat, asleep, right before he could fire his Moonblast. Thwarted, Teenj suddenly charges at Drag with a huge Superkick, kicking the clarinet straight down into Drag's throat. Teenj then proceeds to kicks away at Drag with some advanced capoeira kicks.

OMJ: ...Okay, now you can throw Hitmontop in there :stinkeye:

Clappy: Told ya (stinkeye)

Teenj nails a vicious karate chop to Drag's throat, causing him to cough the clarinet back up. He grabs Drag's injured arm and karate chops it as well, severing it from the rest of his body.

OMJ: Teenj's being about as bold and blue as you can get right now!

Drag lifts his head up, challenging Teenj to finish him off right now. Teenj readies one more karate chop, this time looking to go for Drag's neck.

OMJ: Oh, I can't watch!

Clappy: I can (stinkeye)

OMJ: No staff member alive can hope to put an end to this spat now!

Clappy: They could barely pull it off back then :stinkeye:

WUMBO! WUMBOOOO! AT LAST, YOU'RE ON YOUR OOOOWWWWNNNN!!!

"Just Close Your Eyes" by Story of the Year (lets see how he likes this as his theme) hits the turntable soundstage. Wumbo comes out, seemingly back from the dead and looks out over the entire arena before slapping his chest a few times and blowing a kiss to the adoring readers.

OMJ: WHAT THE FUUUCK!? WUMBO'S BACK! ALRIGHT!!

Clappy: The Wumbooty is back from dead! The only cashier on the staff!

Wumbo then blows a kiss towards his two former Skodwarde crew mates in the broadcast booth.

OMJ: Wumbo, you're too kind

Clappy: I think he blew it towards me (stinkeye)

OMJ: Whatever helps you stay off SBC for more than a week (stinkeye)

Wumbo puts his hands in the air like he's in a church choir.

Wumbo: Just One Match Just One Match. JUST ONE MATCH!

Clappy: What's he saying? Whatever it is, I'm sure it's hilarious.

OMJ: Probs him telling his one fan that a new chapter of his Used Napkin story is coming soon.

Clappy: Aren't you that one fan? (stinkeye)

OMJ: Message received, Wumbo (stinkeye)

Clappy: Puh-lease, Chip is all the rage. That Used Napkin story is deader than JCM's ask thread.

Meanwhile in JCM's ask thread...

tumblr_m14xufnahK1rs1f4ro1_500.jpg

JCM: ...

Daily bump...

Clappy: A JCM cameo? Really? :stinkeye:

OMJ: Hey, as history has it, I posted the first JCM cameo in Graveyard Shift on Skodwarde :stinkeye:

Back in the deathmatch arena, Dragiiin takes advantage of Wumbo's presence and proceeds to jab at Teenj's face with his clarinet.

OMJ: Drag's sprung back to life!

Clappy: If only we could see more of that from him on the forums irl :stinkeye:

Drag takes Teenj to the ground and continues spamming Teenj's face with his clarinet repeatedly, blood, teeth, brains and eyeballs flying everywhere, until Teenj lays motionless with an unrecognizable bloody heap that used to be his head laying in a pool of his own blood. Drag continues impaling him and Zaid doesn't bother to raise Drag's arm up in victory.

Zaid: Winner, Dragiiin (funny)

OMJ: Dragiiin's done it! He's overcome the League!

Clappy: He's overcome the odds (stinkeye)

Wumbo enters the ring, still chanting "Just One Match" before staring Dragiiin down, who's still pummeling Teenj's head in.

Wumbo: Thank you for that spammy and somewhat unnecessary victory.

Wumbo picks Dragiiin off Teenj and goes to take him out to the trash with The Dump, but Drag fights out of it and leaves the ring, heading back up the ramp, choosing to live and fight another day.

Wumbo: Just One Match! Just One Match! Just One Match!

Clappy: Dragiiin manages to pull off another successful ban dodge!

OMJ: For the moment (stinkeye)

Clappy: While Wumbo makes his emphatic return to Deathmatch the same time as me :stinkeye: but I'll do him one better because this is the last time you'll see me here in like a while, surely, so with that, I must make my leave. Time for this Clapdog to hit the ole dusty traaaiiil.

Clappy gets up to leave the broadcast booth.

Clappy: I've got a lot of adult-type business to be taking care of. So, I guess I'll see you all later.

OMJ: Okay, thanks for stopping by, Clappy.

Clappy: Yep, that is it! Here I go.

OMJ: Come by agayn when you get the chance.

Clappy: Out into the cold, grown-up world...without you SpongeBobbies to talk to.

OMJ: Toodle-loo!

Clappy: I don't know when I'll get back.

OMJ: We know how busy you are (stinkeye)

Clappy: So, uh...that's it.

OMJ: Shhh, we're all asleep.

Clappy: Sooooo looooonnnnnggggg...

Clappy finally exits the broadcast booth.

OMJ: I'll give him a week (stinkeye) Anywho folks, we're all out of time! I'm Old Man Jenkins, saying so long as well, wishing you all a Good Fight, Goodnight!

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*Nick Jonas :funny: But srsly, I got a lot of good laughs from this, great ep.

*looks above*

 

I see OMJ did some editing after I pointed out my nitpicks last night. :hehe:

 

 

Either way, like I told you last night OMJ, great episode.  Some of the newer users probably don't understand the Teenj/Drag rivalry but I do and this was great.

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The following program you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein...except maybe JCM...

...Anyway, IT'S JUST POSTS!

Episode 16: Jjsthegado, Spam/Troll Exterminator while JCM Comes For His Pickle

The episode opens up to a shot of Jjs in his community hospital room, hooked up to a bunch of IVs and still heavily bandaged, a metal prosthetic where his right hand used to be, and an eyepatch over his left eye.

Jjs: "Deathmatch for Charity", he said. "It'll help pay off all my medical expenses", he said. Bah!

An otherworldly portal appears before his hospital bed as a dark, shadowy figure appears out of it with a big, sharp scythe in hand.

Jjs: Someone call the plot device police, there's a-

???: JJSTHEKID! YOUR TIME HAS COME, MON!

Jjs: Ahhh! I'm not jjsthekid! I'm Dale! Daleuhhh, uhhhh...Gribble!

The reaper takes off his hood to reveal that he's JCM (in a not-so cameo).

JCM: Oh sorry bout dat, mon.

JCM leaves the room and heads to the nurse's desk.

JCM: Excuse me, sistah. Do you mind tellin me where jjsthekid's room is located?

Nurse: Oh, his room is right over there!

JCM: Oh no, no, no, child. That's Dale Gribble's room.

Nurse: Dale Gribble?

JCM blasts his way back into Jjs' room.

JCM: SO, YOU TINK YOU CAN BE SARCASTIC AND WITTY WIT DE JCgriM REAPER?!

Jjs: What do you want from me?!

JCM: I was here to check you out of de hospital. Doctors said you seem ta be well enough ta go.

Jjs: Ohhh, uh, that sounds good?

JCM: IN A BODY BAG, MON!

JCM raises his scythe and slashes at Jjs.

Jjs: AAAAHHHH-

The scene immediately cuts (ha, cuts) back to OMJ in the Deathmatch Arena, awaiting tonight's episode of Community Deathmatch.

OMJ: What do you mean there's no episodic installment lined up for tonight's long-awaited, butt-pounding episode of Community Deathmatch?!

CNF: Why the fuck are you all up my fuckin ass for? You write this Disney-fied piece of crap!

OMJ: But you're the Commissioner, Comissioner!

CNF: When in fuck's name was the last time I ever really exercised my authoritah around here?! If it were really up to me, I'd be opening up a can of good ole fashioned Nicktoons up the fuckin ass!

OMJ: So what about tonight's episode?

CNF: Why don't you just pull that SOF/Hayden match up out your fuckin ass already?!

OMJ: While Claps is on his umpteenth hiatus? No way, Jose!

CNF: Then how's about you take the night off you fuckin old ass piece of crap! You give vintage, old things like good ole fashioned Nicktoons a bad name!

OMJ: Yeah, yeah, I could use a bit of a break from deathmatch. Mehbeh focus on some of my other cut-rate, less hip shit the young people may or may not like.

CNF: Yeah, so you can run em to the ground, lose fuckin interest, put the fuckin rights up for sale, I come in, sweep it up right off it's ass and continue the fuckin cycle! Cuz CNF:1 says I just bought your rights!

CNF gives OMJ the one finger salute your shorts before leaving the scene.

OMJ: He's right! Now, which one of my stories shall I run to the ground before selling off the rights for? S(lums)BU? Yeeeaaahaaah. Get everybody's hopes up with finishing that and then sell it away to someone slightly less capable like CNF, Maxwell...or Trophy :funny:

Sex: Or maybe you can fix your mic so you and I can venture through the layers of fat and save E-Dawg :smirk:

OMJ: Or you can fix your PS3 :funny:

Sex: Fix your mic anyway just cuz :stinkeye:

OMJ: You know, you're the only guy I know that can make the smirks and stinkeyes seem so wrong for all the wrong reasons. :stinkeye: go spam videos around or something, I've got better things to do. Like not caring about this deathmatch!

The scene cuts to JCM and Jjs inside of a seemingly empty thread.

JCM: Here we be, mon, my ask thread! De final resting place for you community souls, a thread absolutely devoid of all life, where the banned and/or otherwise "inactive" are forced to lurk and wallow and choose whether or not to ask me questions for all eternity! Dis Deathmatch you all got goin on up dere has really spiked activity here as of late. I'm bumping this thread up less and less lately. Muahahaha!

Jjs: No, JCM! I don't wanna go in here! I don't even go in the more active and happening ask threads.

JCM: Get a hold of yourself, mon!

Jjs: Noooo! I'll do anything JCM! Anything to escape this fate! I still have my whole adminship ahead of me!

JCM: Hmmmm. Anyting, you say?

Jjs: Well, besides stepping down from the staff, of course.

JCM: You'll be glad you didn't.

Jjs: Well, that sounds somewhat reassuring.

JCM: I was being sarcastic.

JCM slams the staff of his scythe down on the ground, erecting a deathmatch ring around Jjs.

JCM: Well I don't know why came here tonight, I got the feeling that something ain't right. I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair.

He distorts his ask thread to look more like the Deathmatch Arena, erecting the entrance tunnel and signature broadcast booth that looms above it.

JCM: Tada! An exact replica of the Deathmatch Arena!

JCM whisks himself away, leaving Jjs alone in the ring.

JCM: Clowns to the left of me.

Travis, Calvin Reynolds, Cha, Webby, Newleaf, CDCB, ssj, Supergameman, Sbnator, and Murica instantaneously appear outside of the ring.

JCM: Jokers to the right.

Kevin, Metal Snake, Termi, Aya, Jelly, Box, Ex, MMM, Omair, HPL, Teenj instantaneously show up outside on the opposite side of the ring.

Jjs: This looks like a great party, you invited all my friends. Good thinking.

JCM suddenly appears in the broadcast booth.

JCM: Here I am. Stuck in the middle with you.

The others enter the ring, surrounding Jjs.

JCM: And if you're wondering what it is you should do, the last one to bump my thread...doesn't lose.

JCM creates a portal with his scythe by slicing away at the air and sticks it in. He pulls it back out, pulling OMJ in along with it. OMJ lands on the seat next to JCM.

OMJ: Dafuq? What's the meaning of this?! Don't you people know I have other work that needs love too?!

JCM: Yes, and I'm sure we all look forward to them, mon, but tonight is a special exception!

He waves his scythe again, dropping down the JCdeathMatch logo.

JCM: Greetings, and welcome to the first ever LIVE edition of JCdeathMatch! Coming atcha as not only just a simple cameo anymore. I am your host, the JCgriM Reaper!

OMJ: And in the spirit of the GCA's, I am a former Funniest User recipient! As well as the User With Best One-Liners, Best Representative, Co-Best Avatar, User Missed Most, a bonafide Spinoff Hall of Famer, AND Most Active!

JCM: I disagree with that Most Active award whole-heartedly, mon.

OMJ: Oh JCM, you and your sarcasm!

JCM: I'm serious.

OMJ: I do say, is that Jjs? Jjs! Hey! I can see you through this window! Hey! HEEEEYYYYY!!!

Jjs: Oh dear Neptune, as if things couldn't get any worst.

OMJ: So catch a broadcasting brother up to speed here, just what the fuck is going on here, mang?

JCM: Well mon, as you of all people should know, people die on Community Deathmatch. When dey die, they get sent straight here.

OMJ: Your ask thread?

JCM: Precisely, child.

OMJ: Wow, I did not do the deadness of this place justice during the last episode.

JCM: Of course you didn't. *hides unsold and overstocked JCM merchandise*

OMJ: Haha! There's that sarcastic wit agayn!

JCM: I'm being serious, mon.

OMJ: Stop it man, you're killing me!

JCM: That ain't a bad idea.

OMJ: BAHAHAHAHAHAH! Ahhhh. As you were saying?

JCM: Well dey com here, where I make them entertain me for all eternity! Muahahaha!

OMJ:BAHAHAHAHAHAH!

JCM: I'm being serious! And sometimes, I find it in me cold, snark heart ta give one lucky user a, what's a good way of putting dis, "get outta jail free" card of sorts.

OMJ: Ohhh, so that explains Smiles? And, and Wumbo?

JCM: Indeed, child.

OMJ: Damn son. Well that surely clears that mindfuck up. Only here on Deathmatch, folks!

JCM: Dis be just another instance of me showing my mercy. Aren't you gonna laugh, there's de sarcasm.

OMJ: Well fuck, you could've fooled me. So, whoever wins this little hoedown of a showdown of yours gets another shot at life in the Community once again, another chance to very well die again during Deathmatch, to be more blunt?

JCM: Of course noooot.

OMJ: Well elaborate by all means, vile fiend, because I just don't get it!

JCM: I was being sarcastic! All past deathmatch losers end up here! They fight to get unbanned and one of them goes on to have another long, unhealthy social life!

OMJ: Only on Deathmatch, folks! But hold on just a tic here, you are saying that one of these infinite losers will get a chance to live agayn?

JCM: Yes, exactly.

OMJ: So I can see my buddy agayn?! My partner in crime, the yin to my yang, the the piece that completes the complex puzzle that is myself and Community Deathmatch?!

JCM: Quite possibly.

OMJ: Are you being sar-

JCM: I'm being serious.

OMJ: Yay! I can see Aya agayn!

Jjs: Well fuck you too!

OMJ: Why bore everybody with the long-winded formalities already?! Lets get this monumental deathmatch on right now! Lets head down to the ring, where Referee Elasti- oh... Hehe, well, this is kinda embarassing.

JCM: I got dis, mon.

JCM sways his scythe around, emanating a green glow before shooting a green beam down into the ring. A figure emerges from the smoke, whipping his hair back all sassy-like.

OMJ: It can't be!?

JCM: It is.

OMJ: Once agayn, you sir, have split my sides.

JCM: I'm being serious.

Dylan: Bitch please, I've been voted Most Serious :whitney:

OMJ: It's the former Director-in-Chief and one-time SBC Court Judge, Dylan! The very first Deathmatch victor!

JCM: I see it as only fitting that a deathmatch of losers should be officiated by the first ever winna, mon.

OMJ: What are you, that Bob Marley Apple Jacks guy?

JCM: Im more of a Bad Apple, meself.

OMJ: You have a sick sense of humor, JCM. I like it! Everybody should vote for you for Most Funniest. You heard my endorsement here first on Deathmatch, folks!

The sound of hammer pounding can be heard ringing through JCM's ask thread arena. Halibut is then seen descending into the thread, behind his above, floating high above all the combatants in the ring.

Halibut: I know, I know! The day has come when I, Bad Reviews Halibut, has stooped myself so, so very low as to enter an ask thread! To lighten the shock factor to not only you, but to myself, I know all of you here have another chance at life tonight, you all will no doubt give it your absolute all to win that grand prize, this time also for all of our collective amusement. But I am afraid I have some BAD REVIEEEEEWS! Have you all ever wondered as to why you are currently in the position you are in now? Allow me to enlighten you all quite bluntly by saying that you are all pathetic and weak, no worst for ware, undeserving of the second chance that JCM has been bestowing upon you! Then again, SBC gives just about everyone second chances i.e. PatBack! JCM, on the other hand, his attempts to strike up activity in his ask thread has been quite laughable at best and he should really come to grips with the reality that no one, flat out, can stand his guts! And that, is not sarcasm! Thank you, very much!

BAD REVIEWS HALIBUT

Bad Reviews Halibut hammers his podium some more, to the annoyance of everyone, before ascending back out of JCM's ask thread.

OMJ: #BadReviewsHalibut everybody!

JCM: Isn't he just adorable? But the kawaiiness aside, how's about we head down to the ring with interim Referee Dylan, to signal the start of tonight's featured deathmatch!

Dylan gets in the middle of everybody.

Dylan: Alright biatches! I want a Hot & Sexy fight! Interpret that as you may :whitney: any last requests? :awkward:

Everyone just bickers and argues with each other.

Dylan: I do not miss being in charge at all, but LETS GET IT ON :awkward:

JCM: And tonight's monumental, colossal deathmatch is finally underway!

OMJ: Soooo it's not underway?

JCM: I was being serious.

Jjs finds himself surrounded by everyone.

Jjs: Come on, guys, cut the voice of deathmatch a break here!

JCM: Things looking pretty ugly for Jjs pretty quickly, so it seems.

OMJ: Well, JC, what he did to former Deathmatch correspondent, CF, a former Kindest User recipient, last season will not do him any favors or win him any brownie points with anyone because, well, how can someone possibly be a lil shitbird to CF and not get any shit for it amirite?!

JCM: Excellent point there, Jenks. With all my sarcasm. And from the looks of things, it appears everyone wants to tear The Voice a new one here tonight!

Webby is the first one to strike at Jjs, attacking him from behind. CDCB joins him in his assault as everyone times their own next moves. CDCB holds Jjs in place as Webby clobbers him with some over dramatic blows to his head and face. Webby than holds Jjs in place for CD to welcome Jjs to the Blue House.

OMJ: CDCB and Webby taking turns in welcoming Jjs to the Blue House of pain!

CDCB: How could you do it, Jjs?! How could you?!

CD plants a hard elbow into Jjs' face.

CDCB: She was like a female me! My other half, and you fuckin gave her shit! Of we weren't such good friends, would you had made one for me too?'

CDCB grabs hold of Jjs again for Webby to nail him with repeating pirouette kicks.

Webby: What, you're gonna make a thread about how gosh darn nice Sauce is next?! Not on my watch!

CD and Webby both go to hit Jjs with simultaneous spinning heel kicks, but Jjs manages to ducks it in time, causing them both to accidentally nail each other in the groins.

JCM: Jjs showing some shred of determination and dignity after that scathing pounding. You really have to admire his drive to prove that he is, indeed, the best admin on today's staff. Sarcasm btw.

Jjs pulls Webby up to his feet and stomps down hard on his ankle.

OMJ: Bah gawd! Jjs could have very well broke his ankle smack dab in half!

CD comes charging at him, but he drives Webby head first into CD's gut before pounding CD's face into mush with his metal hand until CD ceased to move.

OMJ: CD looks completely out of it, folks!

JCM: CD may already be out of it!

Dylan checks up on CD.

Dylan: :whitney:

OMJ: Jot one down for thekid!

JCM: CDCB has been terminated.

Webby: What just happened here?! What just happened here?! BUH POW! BUH POW! BUH POW!

JCM: Webby lays into Jjs some more with more over dramatic punches in bunches.

OMJ: Now it appears he's setting him up for what could very well be BUH POW Right in the Kisser!

Webby: My wife's gonna slap you so hard! What are you all looking at?!

Webby proceeds to give everybody in the ring, and OMJ and JCM, some slaps before raising up his left hand for some slaps to Jjs.

JCM: Those slaps really are something, isn't it Jenks?

OMJ: Sarcasm at its finest, folks! Only here on Deathmatch!

Webby swings his wife/left palm at Jjs, who manages to catch his arm before it could connect. Jjs then makes Webby slap himself around.

Jjs: Stop slapping yourself! Stop slapping yourself! Stop slapping yourself!

Webby: Honey, please! Whyyyy are you do-hoing this?! AH!

Jjs: How's about a lil handjob?!

Jjs proceeds to shove Webby's wife deep, deep, deep down his throat until his entire arm is in there.

Jjs: Sorta the story of your life here, Webby, it chokes!

Jjs then violently yanks Webby's arm back out with his wife carrying Webby's disembodied heart in hand. Webby plops down to the mat lifeless.

Jjs: At least in the end, you gave her your heart!

OMJ: Jjs is really on a roll here tonight! Finally getting some real blood on his hands, cracking a few one-liners.

JCM: Oh if only the Best One-Liners Award was still a thing.

Milkmaidman immediately makes the change into Milkmaidmammoth and charges Jjs into the corner turnbuckle, driving his shoulders into Jjs' ribs repeatedly before grabbing a baseball bat and some baseballs and cracks into Jjs with some Dangerous Lumber homers.

JCM: MMM looking to be the one who puts the big, bad wolf down here.

OMJ: Jjs is reeling back, huffing and puffing and ready and willing to blow somebody in just to stay alive!

Jjs fight back with some punches of his own, but MMM merely shoves him back into the corner with ease.

MMM: You shouldn't try and fight a crazy person, Jjs.

Jjs: Oh, is that so?

MMM: So so. I'm crazy, alright. You should really think twice before trying to hit me again.

Jjs quickly springs out from the corner and lands a pretty hard right hand to MMM's face, but it only flinches the Milkmaid.

OMJ: OOH! Jjs showing some spunk to Spunky, himself!

MMM: 31363D699.gif

JCM: Milkmaid doing what he does best! Uh...beatin himself up.

OMJ: Hey! That's MY thing!

MMM: Dont hit me! *punches self in face with boxing glove* I'LL HIT ME! *punches self in face with steel-spiked boxing glove*

OMJ: Doesn't that hurt his own chances.

JCM: Do you want to hurt his own chances?

MMM: YEEEAAAHHHYAAA!!!

MMM baseball slides out of the ring and falls awkwardly on his head and neck. He pulls two trash can lids out from under the ring and proceeds to use them to smash his own batter, bruised and bloodied head in multiple times.

MMM: DONT HIT ME! *smash* UHH! I'LL HIT ME *smashes* UH! UH! YEEEAAAHHHYAAA! I JUST GOTTA, GOTTA, GOTTA, GOTTA-

He keeps smashing his head between the two lids before his head finally smashes in from the self-induced punishments. MMM's body then crashes to the floor at ringside.

OMJ: hehe...well then...

JCM: Wow, he really is crazy.

OMJ: How did kids not imitate that shit when confronted with a bully back then?

JCM: Hehehe...well...

OMJ: You were bullied?

JCM: I am Spider-Man, after all.

Newleaffan: Here comes the sequel to The Guy Falls, starring Jjsthekid!

Newleaf beats up Jjs goes to drop Jjs down a deep hole on the outside of the ring, but Jjs fights back.

Newleaffan: This is a really funny movie!

Jjs: Whats really funny is THIS IS MY FOOT TO YOUR ASS!

Jjs proceeds to kick Newleaf's ass right down into the hole.

TxLb0DV.jpg

JCM: And before he even got a chance, mon.

OMJ: Someone has to make up for the lack of Wumbo here.

JCM: Someone should really tell him we're not SBU anymore.

OMJ: I'll try and get Someone's_Friend right on that.

Jjs gets back in the ring, waiting to see who else steps up to oppose him. Suddenly, a cardboard box enters the ring.

JCM: Hey look, a cardboard box just crawled into the ring!

The box stealthfully sneaks it's way behind Jjs before a figure rises from beneath it.

OMJ: Holy Fishpaste! It's a guy! And not just any guy, it's Luke James, bitch!

Metal Snake pulls a knife out and proceeds to shank Jjs in the back before grabbing him by the head and putting the knife to his throat.

Metal: Wanna riff Journey of Sebastion, huh? How's about I riff right into you!

Before Metal Snake could go for the kill, Jjs whips his head back into Luke's face, stunning him before disarming him of his knife and judo throwing him overhead and into a few of the others combatants who were just standing by.

JCM: Luke should've shot out de lights first, mon!

OMJ: A slight error in judgement that could very well cost him everything!

The cardboard box that Metal was hiding under suddenly springs to life and tries to attack Jjs.

OMJ: Dear Neptune below!

JCM: It's the Idiot Box, mon!

Jjs sees Box coming and counters his Box Cutter by cutting into Box with Metal Snake's knife.

OMJ: He's really tearing into that Box!

JCM: Like Christmas morning!

Jjs finishes cutting Box up into pieces and leaves his scraps in the ring for Dylan to examine.

Dylan: :whitney:

OMJ: It's good, folks!

JCM: Real good.

OMJ: The best.

Metal Snake suddenly slithers back into the fray by planting Jjs face first with an MSKO.

OMJ: MSKO OUT OF NOWHERE!

Luke begins to pound his fists against the mat and sizes Jjs up for the death strike.

JCM: The Metal Snake is uncoiling!

OMJ: The Modern SBC User Killer is looking to slither in for another kill!

Luke charges at Jjs, looking to kick his head right off his shoulders, but Jjs pulls the knife out and drives it right into Luke's crotch. Luke crashes to the ground in pain.

Jjs: No balls, no glory!

JCM: Well, now we know what happened to Luke's balls after that Modern SBC User stunt.

Jjs goes to lay into Luke some more with some kicks, but Luke strikes back with a Poison Fang. Jjs manages grab Luke by the mouth before he could sink his teeth in and proceeds to forcefully crank Luke's mouth open beyond it's normal limits.

OMJ: Jjs is looking to de-fang the Metal Snake here and now!

Jjs then rips Luke's mouth open and tears his jaw off right from it's sockets before tossing Luke's corpse to the side.

JCM: And there goes Metal, mon!

A bunch of metal snakes start to slither out of Luke's corpse and begins to attack everyone.

OMJ: Even in death, Luke still looks to leave an impact on us all!

In the middle of all the commotion, Jjs immediately gets jumped on by the brothers; Supergameman, Sbnator and Murica.

OMJ: The Brothers Flub immediately on the 3-on-1 offensive!

JCM: The odds are gradually stacking up more and more for the voice of deathmatch, who has already took to killing six of tonight's combatants!

OMJ: JCM, brah, stop killing me with the sarcasm, mang!

JCM: How was any of that the least bit sarcastic?!

Murica: Justice Bros, ASSEMBLE!

They all jump into action.

Murica: MURICA! MURICAAAA!!

Murica flies in with deathmatch ladder.

Supergameman: SUPERRRRRGAMEMAN!

Supergameman soars in on Rainbow Dash with a steel chair in hand.

Supergameman: Get paid to post in my newest hit lit! Come on guys!

Supergameman suddenly gets grabbed by Sbnator and gets thrown up into one of the ceiling lights, electrocuting and killing him instantly.

Sbnator: AND THE INFRAGGABLE SBNATOR!

Murica: By the dawn's early light, Sbanator! What the hell was that?! That was just inconceivable!

Sbnator: Sbnator should've got head start! Dr. Sex gives me head starts all the time when we play FIFA!

Murica: Do I look like a Greek janitor to you?!

Sbnator: ...Can Sbantor have hint?

JCM: And it appears there's already dissension brewing in the ranks of the Justice Bros.

Sbnator holds Jjs up for Murica to beat up on.

JCM: It also appears the runt of the litter is now calling the shots here, a far cry from their previous appearance on deathmatch!

OMJ: As the youngest of my siblings, well I say NUTS!

Sbnator and tosses Jjs towards Murica, who grabs him by the head and runs him over to the corner turnbuckle and ricochets off of it in order to plant Jjs face first to the mat with his Stars and Stripes maneuver and nails it.

Murica: Sbnator, GET THE TABLES!

Sbnator leaves the ring and grabs a few tables from underneath the ring and throws them into the ring where Murica sets them up. Sbnator takes out a book of matches and uses them to set the tables on fire.

Sbnator: OH MY BROTHER!

Sbnator grabs Jjs and hoists him into the air in front of the tables.

Sbnator: TESTIFYYYYYY!

Murica gets on the opposite side of the table, sizing Jjs up for something.

OMJ: Dear Neptune below! It appears the Justice Bros are looking to end Jjs here and now with a Deadly Death Drop straight through the fiery tables!

JCM: That doesn't sound good at all.

OMJ: Now isn't a time for sarcasm, JC!

JCM: I'm being serious.

Before Sbnator could drive Jjs towards Murica, Jjs springs back to life and proceeds to pound his face with his metal prosthetic before gouging Sbnator's eyes out, thus breaking Sbnator's hold on him.

Jjs: How's this for a head start!

Jjs kicks Sbnator hard in the gut then proceeds to pile drive him into the fiery table head first, setting Sbnator ablaze in the process.

OMJ: OOH! BURN!

JCM: Jjs still showing that he has the burning desire to win the whole she-bang!

Murica: My name is Winterized Murica. You killed my brother. Prepare to DIE!

Murica grabs Jjs for another Stars and Stripes but Jjs counters it this time by driving Murica back-first into the turnbuckle, impaling him right through it.

JCM: DAMN!

Having impaled him at half staff, Jjs salutes Murica.

JCM: Only in 'Murica.

OMJ: And the rockets red glare! Murica's guts bursting in air, gave truth through the night that our voice of deathmatch is still here!

The metal snakes begin to swarm Jjs, who tries his hardest to fight through the slithering hordes by stomping on them and tying them into knots.

JCM: I have had it with these monkey-fighting metal snakes in this Monday to Friday thread!

OMJ: I can just smell a new SBCinema when Clappy decides to pop back up.

Jjs suddenly gets pelted with ki blasts by ssj from behind, who also shoots the metal snakes away. Ssj goes to blast through Jjs with a Dragon Fist, but Jjs sunset flips over him and proceeds to power bomb ssj right onto Sbnator's burnt corpse.

OMJ: Jjs calculating that maneuver with the utmost of authority!

JCM: He is the best admin, after all. You can laugh now.

OMJ: Why? That wasn't funny in the slightest.

Omair suddenly charges in and smashes a jar of Nutella right onto Jjs' face.

OMJ: But slapstick is! BAHAHAHAHA!

HPL joins Omair in spamming Jjs with punches in bunches. Kevin joins in the fray and asks some question.

Kevin: Anyway Jjs, how's your sex life?

Ssj: He's getting fooked-diddly up pretty good right now, if you ask me.

Kevin likes what Ssj quipped there and has a good laugh.

Kevin: I get it, because we're totally fucking him up in the combative sense! :P

Ssj: Yes Kevirino, that was the joke.

Omair: Pick em up! The boss is coming.

Jjs: Boss?

Aya: Why me, of course.

OMJ: HHJFJGJFHDHULLLJSJS *fangasms*

JCM: So goes practically almost everyone on SBM. You would think Sauce would be his boss by now since she's practically the only ask thread he bothers being active in these days. Look at that, time for another daily bump for Mr. J *wink wink fart fart nudge nudge hint hint* Omair, ask me questions please.

Aya: Now I want you all to stand up tall, place your hand over your heart and repeat after my the holy phrase.

Aya, Omair, Kevin, HPL, ssj & Cha: Weed The Peo-

Jjs pulls Omair and HPL together, causing them to collide head first and breaking himself free from their grip. Jjs then takes it to ssj, blocking some more of his ki blasts before pummeling him straight into the mat. He suddenly gets drop kicked away by Cha and her Squeaky Boots because, hey, it's SpongeBob.

JCM: Cha's getting a few licks of her own in now!

Cha goes to kick Jjs while he's down but catches her foot and bends it back, breaking it. He takes off her boots and shoves is down her throat.

Jjs: EAT IT! EAT IT AND CHOKE!

HPL: Ohai Jjs *kicks him in the nuts*

Omair goes to clock Jjs with a right hand, but Jjs catches his fist.

Jjs: Dont touch me, motherfucker!

Jjs proceeds to break Omair's arm before throwing him into Aya, who effortlessly kicks Omair away as he came flying.

Omair: lol k good one girl!

Kevin lands a good round house kick to Jjs' face, sending him flying right onto Luke's corpse. Jjs notices Luke's knife still lodged in his crotch and yanks it out as Kevin charges toward him. Jjs sweeps Kevin's leg right from under him, causing him to face plant on the ground. Jjs drives his knee into the back of Kevin's neck and yanks his head back by his Afro.

Jjs: How's this for a new Mrs. Asian Mom, "Afros are black, not yellow!"

Jjs proceeds to scalp Kevin, wearing his Afro as a trophy, before driving the knife into Kevin's face and then stomping down on it for good measure.

OMJ: No more unintentionally hilarious selfies from ole vintage anytime soon!

Aya grabs Jjs from behind and slams him down with a Patriot Act before cracking her neck.

OMJ: Aya just cracked her neck!

JCM: This could only mean she has terrible neck pains again or she is signaling for the Ayaro Swing!

She grabs Jjs by the legs and proceeds to swing him around in the middle of the ring.

JCM: She's just mercilessly swinging him right round, baby, right round!

OMJ: Like a record, baby!

After the 30th rotation, she finally sends Jjs flying out of the ring and landing hard right into the guest audience.

JCM: And the voice is sent soaring straight into the crowd!

OMJ: And in a thriving crowd full of guests, Jjs can very well use his experience in the days old Guest's Paradise to his advantage!

Aya: ssj, find him!

Ssj: Anything to have dat gosh darn hair, your spookiness!

OMJ: Just fuck her, why won't ya?

JCM: Well, age obvi plays a factor in it.

Ssj jumps into the crowd of guests, looking to find Jjs.

Ssj: Come out, come out wherever you are. If you don't, then that just proves that you touch yourself at night.

Jjs: Good luck finding me, shitbird.

Ssj: I didn't wanna have to do this, but somebody's gotta be the gosh darn bad guy here.

Ssj begins firing ki blasts aimlessly through the crowd. Ssj then fires a huge Big Ban Attack, taking out an entire section of the audience where Jjs was seen being thrown into.

Jjs: SHI-

OMJ: Ssj just plowing through our live audience!

JCM: That doesn't sound weird at all.

OMJ: JCM, that's gross. You know, there really needs to be a Most Sarcastic award here because with all your supposed attempts at being "sarcastic", I really think I can knock you off that throne.

JCM: You even had me going there. You just might have a chance, maybe with two accounts, you undeserving blowhard.

Ssj walks around surveying his damage, trying to find Jjs' corpse in the pile of all the other guests.

JohnDoe: 549381.gif with that blast

OMJ: Bah gawd, it's JohnDoe!

JCM: Kevin Spacey, mon? Your budget is enough to cover him too?

JohnDoe pounces on ssj, trying to beat him to the ground, but ssj manages to dragon throw JohnDoe off of him and pierces his chest with a Ban Beam.

Jjs: Still here!

Ssj turns and charges into the middle of another section of the audience, blasting them with more ki blasts.

Sassy56: Smooth move, but no dice, asshole!

Sassy charges at ssj in order to "dispose of him in the body room", but he punches right through her with a Dragon Fist.

Ssj: Where in the diddly-dang blazes are you?!

Jjs: So close, yet so far away!

Ssj levels yet another section of the audience.

BobRoast: You can now consider yourself a 10 Killer!

LobsterM: Ah, fresh meat for your butt!

LobsterM grabs ssj from behind and proceeds to shove something meaty and pulsating into his rectum as BobRoast looks to add himself to the 10 Killers list by finishing off ssj, but ssj powers up out of that predicament before blasting the two guests into oblivion with a Kamehameha wave.

Ssj: Gosh darnit, where are you?!

LAT: GOSH DARNIT DALE, WHY IS THIS GINGER STEALING MY LINE?!

LAT pops up from out of nowhere and pops multiple caps into ssj with his gun. Ssj gets knocked back into a crowd of guests, who proceed to completely surround ssj and overwhelm him.

Ssj: Get your filth-diddly-dy guesterino claws off of me- Ah! AHHH!! That's not supposed to go in there!

Jjs emerges from the crowd.

JCM: The guests are now tearing ssj multiple new ones as we speak!

OMJ: And Jjs is miraculously still in this thing!

Cha: ssj.gif

Cha heads out of the ring and goes to charge Jjs with Buddy Love and Kurama, but Jjs jukes and dodge rolls past them and under the ring.

OMJ: Jjs just went under the ring! There's no telling what he might do!

Omair: HPL, I'm your future husband k.

HPL: I love you too, Omair. As a person, as a human bean.

Jjs: Two's great, but three's a crowd!

A chainsaw suddenly emerges from underneath the ring and cuts a circle around Omair, causing him to plummet down under the ring.

Omair: YOU ARE TEARING ME APART HPL LOL!

A geyser of blood shoots out of the hole Omair fell into as it shoots his blood, guts and other such body parts everywhere.

JCM: Well dat's not ironic.

OMJ: Oh just stop it.

Jjs flips out of the hole with a chainsaw, the Ice Shredder, where his metal prosthetic hand used to be. He is also wearing some heavy duty tuxedo gear and has a football, covered in live grenades, in hand (all available at your local Trophies Authority).

JCM: Look who's all bonafide badass now, mon!

OMJ: Sponsor us, Trophy!

Jjs: In a few minutes, bitch, this ball will go off! Any of you wanna take the challenge?

Aya: No challenge is too great for Ayaton!

HPL: You no good. You, you just a chicken. CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP!

Jjs: Why ain't you joining in?

Cha: Well I can't read!

Jjs: Get outta here!

Cha: *runs* AHAHYUCK!

Jjs throws the ball to Aya, who throws it back to Jjs, who throws it to HPL, who throws it back to Jjs, who throws it back to Aya, who throws it back to Jjs, who throws it back over to HPL, who tosses it back to him.

JCM: And now we play de most extreme game of hot potato known to mon, mon!

The Wiggles: Hot Potato Hot Potato! Hot Potato Hot Potato!

OMJ: Guys, CDCB's dead already!

The Wiggles: ...

Paul the Cook: WHOA WIGGY WIGGY WIGGY! WHOA WIGGY WIGGY WIGGY!

Captain Feathersword: GIMMED DAT GIMME DAT GIMME DAT FOOD!

Jjs tosses the ball back towards HPL, who in turn, decides to toss it over to Aya.

Aya: Dont pass it to me, you bitch! *throws it back to HPL*

HPL: I love you too, Aya. As a person, as a human bean. *throws it back to Aya*

JCM: It appears Jjs is creating a rift, a crack in de Ayield!

OMJ: What do you mean you won't pillage and rape the lolly-gagging holdouts to vote for me in the GCA's?!

Captain Feathersword: Arr, I can't do that, it wouldn't be fair! :)

OMJ: ...Fair? You're a pirate!

Aya: Wait, why are we at each other's throats? *throws the the ball to jjs*

Jjs goes to throw it back at Aya, but jukes her out and instead throws it at the unsuspecting HPL. The ball explodes just as it hits her in the face.

OMJ: There goes Clappy's chances of ever getting to meet her, that's for sure!

JCM: No one would really know what she really looks like, either. Except for ssj, of course.

OMJ: Well then why don't they both just fuck her too, why won't they?

???: JJSTHEROOOOOOTTTT!!!

JCM: What de devil?

OMJ: More like "speak of the devil".

A golden glow emanates from the crowd as a bright, golden aura of energy emerges from the crowding mob.

Ssj: IM THE DING-DANG-DIDDLY-DANGERINO HERE! HAAAAA!!

Ssj flies towards towards him at top speed. Ssj opens his arms.

OMJ: Could it be?!

JCM: Oh no it ain't.

OMJ: Ssj is going for The Glomp!

Ssj goes to Glomp Jjs, but Jjs manages to roll out of the way in time, leaving Cha to take the brunt of the Glomp. Ssj's arms constrict around, breaking Cha's body in half almost immediately.

Ssj: Madame Ginger?!

Jjs: Just fuck her too, why won't ya?

Jjs regroups from behind and shoots off his Ice Shredder like a crossbow. It soars and slices right through Ssj's waist, cutting his body in half as well as his left arm. His body parts fall to the mat along with Cha's body parts.

JCM: I'm not sure those two are doing it right, mon.

The flying Ice Shredder shoots towards Aya now, but she manages to sidestep it in time, only getting a few strands of her hair sliced off.

Aya: M-my hair?

OMJ: Bah gawd almighty, as Neptune is my witness! Jjs has just systematically outlasted every member of the Ayield!

JCM: Save for their leader, Jenks!

Without his Ice Shredder, Aya doesn't hesitate to clothesline Jjs hard to the ground. She beats him up some more before slamming him all around the ring. She places him in the Patriot Lock, trying to wrench off his leg.

OMJ: It's that goddamn Patriot Lock! The same hold that took off Jelly's leg! Twice, even!

Jelly: Don't remind me! MARICUNT!

Jelly charges into the ring, with her sledgehammer leg and all, and attempts to use it kick Aya. Aya is forced to let go of the hold she has on Jjs in order to block Jelly's kick. She firmly grasps Jelly's neck with both hands, digging her fingers hard and deep into Jelly's face.

Jelly: AHHH! JOU PERRO!

Jelly spits blood into Aya's face before Aya cracks her neck for her. Jelly drops to the mat, limp.

OMJ: Dear Neptune, Aya just broke Jelly's neck smack dab in half!

JCM: She's gone as quickly as she came back. Story of her life.

Aya: Now where were we?

Jjs screams in pain again as Aya re-applies her hold before finally mustering the strength to flip himself off his stomach kicks away at Aya's grip over him, eventually breaking the hold.

JCM: Jjs manages ta break de lock, mon!

Jjs limps back up to his feet, looking to keep going. Aya gets up to her feet.

Aya: Now you listen up here, America! You think you're the best admin? Well the Great Aya will show you just who is Best Admin around these parts.

Aya goes to crack her neck again and does so, but neck cracks back in an awkward way and she spills onto the mat, motionless. Dylan surveys the situation.

Dylan: :whitney:

OMJ: Bah gawd! Aya just snapped her own neck smack dab in half!

JCM: Aya has seemingly inadvertently eliminated herself from dis deathmatch-up!

OMJ: That means Jjs has officially outlasted every member of the Ayield, now!

A bearded member and a member wearing someone else's face as a mask enters the ring now.

Jjs: Ah, fuck me slowly.

JCM: I cannot believe what I am seeing here right now, folks!

OMJ: JCM, I already told you stop.

JCM: It's That70sguy, Travis whatever his last name is and the creator of SBC itself, Terminoob!

Termi: Now isn't this quite the reunion. Better not post a bad review, or did Halibut already do that for me?

Travis: Lookie here, Mr. "Heroe", Mr. Big Time with spinoffs now!

Jjs: And here you are, still Travis.

Travis points at Calvin Reynolds' face which he wears as a mask.

Travis: I AM CALVIN REYNOLDS, TO YOU!

Termi: I've got something Family Guy-related in store just for you.

Travis: Jjs is a PHONY! A GWEAT, BIG, FAT PHONY!

Jjs: Oh, how can I be so rude? Hello Pot, I'm Kettle!

Travis: I am not the fake one here. You are! What, thinking of up and leaving again once I'm through giving you the once over?

Jjs: Pretty big talk from the guy who ran away to save face when shit hit the fan.

Travis: Ohoh I'm so gonna enjoy shoving this 12 inch colt python down your throat hole and blasting your fucking head away!

Jjs: You know, after taking time to oh so rightfully riff Bikini Top to pieces in my Riffing Theater, I decided to revise my letter grade for it. Wanna know what I think of it now?

Termi: tumblr_lvr7rhbRvZ1qlr140o1_500.gif You're Welcome.

Travis: Lemme guess-

Jjs proceeds to blast both Travis and Termi's heads off with his Bolt Blaster, which he took time to apply on to his prosthetic while they all were talking.

Jjs: It's a double D+ work of fart!

OMJ: Shit son, Jjs is just killing it tonight.

JCM: Literally.

OMJ: Is that it? Is Jjs finally in the clear?

JCM: Not quite, child. Observe.

ExKizuna and Teenj enter the ring. Ex pulls off some Kamen Rider poses while Teenj does his Avatar thing. Jjs responds by checking his watch and saying that "It's Morphin Time!"

OMJ: The best Xater, the best admin and the best moderator all in the same deathmatch ring at the same deathmatch time! All while being commentated by the user with the Most Post Averages in a day-

JCM: I sincerely hope dat was sarcasm.

OMJ: What?

JCM: Come on now, child. You know and I know dat you did not deserve dat award.

OMJ: What?

JCM: Dat award, mon! From vBulletin back in 2012. You did not deserve it.

OMJ: What?

JCM: You had a previous account before dat, mon. And you had dem both combined together, thus givin ya an unfair advantage!

OMJ: What?

JCM: What country are you from, mon?

OMJ: What?

JCM: "What" ain't no country I've ever heard of! In Hawaii, do they speak English in What?!

OMJ: What?

JCM: English, mon, do you speak it?!

OMJ: No hablo espanol.

JCM: Then you don't know what I'm saying?!

OMJ: Que?

JCM: Say "what" again! Say "what" again! I dare you, I double dare you, mon! Say "what" one more goddamn (hero) time!

OMJ: ...

JCM: That's why I like to hea-

OMJ: Wut.

JCM: DAT IS IT, I'VE HAD IT!

Enveloping his scythe in a dark green glow, JCM slashes away at OMJ, who manages to barely dodge each swing in the confined broadcast booth. Meanwhile, still in the ring. Ex, Jjs and Teenj are still doing stuff regarding the shows they're representing when OMJ comes flying out of the broadcast booth and right into the ring.

OMJ: Ah! So that's what that feels like. Poor Zaid, no wonder he's never been around since.

JCM bursts out of the booth himself and crashes towards the ring, stabbing the downed OMJ with his scythe before swinging him around 180 degrees and planting him back down on the mat.

JCM: May you bump daily for eternity!

Jjs: Jenk Man, what the fuck is going on here?!

JCM: Dis need not concern you, child's. Just punishing an undeserving little asshat. Nothin ta see here.

Jjs: That asshat is my broadcast partner, "mon". Emphasis on "bro".

JCM: You can't possibly be defending him after all he's done.

Jjs: And what exactly has he done?

JCM: What he's done? Haha, WHAT HES DONE! De very ting dat I kill him in almost every episode of JCMovies for! He won the Most Posts Averaged Daily award with two, count em, TWO accounts!

Ex: That's fuckin it?

JCM: Yes, dats fuckin it and he deserves to be punished for his crime of da highest order.

Jjs: That's pretty damn harsh and a stupid thing to get so worked up over, don't you think?

JCM: What?!

Teenj: Yeah, I mean. Big deal. It's not like he even did much on that previous account anyway.

Jjs: And, uh, hi. He deleted the first one for perfectly viable reasons at the time then he came back, so we thought it would only be right if we added on his old stuff to his newer account.

Ex: Yeah, no point in having that shit be lost forever.

JCM: I cannot believe what I am hearing. Are you all such blind imbeciles! This old, decrepit fart should be damned and banned forever for what he did!

Jjs: I really hope you're being sarcastic right now.

Ex: Fuckin chill out, man. I think the loneliness you have here has made you all...men-

Teenj: Coo coo bananas

Ex: Yeah! That works.

JCM: You're all really going defy the one user who can grant you a second chance at life all just for this, this charlatan?!

Jjs: Yeah. Problem?

JCM: Out of my way, you idiots. I'm doing what should've been done two years ago!

JCM raises his scythe.

JCM: This is one cameo you shouldn't have made me do.

OMJ: Ah, fuck me swiftly.

JCM brings his scythe down, but Jjs retracts his Ice Shredder and uses it to intercept JCM's blade.

JCM: And here I thought you were all being sarcastic.

Jjs: Same to you!

Jjs powers his Ice Shredder up and manages to slash JCM in the face with it. Teenj lays into him with his Kung Fu Karate prowess until Ex flames him with a hot, molting blast of fire.

JCM: NO! FIRE! HELLFIRE! THIS FIRE IN MY SKIN! AHHH!

JCM plops down, burned in more ways than one.

OMJ: Is...is it over-

JCM springs back up and beheads Teenj.

JCM: I was just being incredibly sarcastic!

OMJ: Bah gawd, he killed Teenj! ...So am I the only one caring here, or...?

Ex pounces with some vicious forearm cuts to JCM's head.

Ex: KIZUNA CUT! KIZUNA CUT! KIZUNA CUT! Hey JCM, your cunt's showing!

With JCM distracted by looking down at his crotch, Jjs springs into action now and cuts off JCM's right arm with his Ice Shredder.

JCM: Ah! Woe is my arm! Woe is me-

JCM regenerates his arm and cuts up both Jjs and Ex with his scythe.

JCM: My sarcasm is so sharp and witty, it makes me oh so...giddy.

OMJ: Come on guys, put some effort into it!

Dylan: *wakes up* Oh, I'm still here :awkward:

Ex: How's about you help us fight your battle for you?!

OMJ: ...Well, why didn't I think of that.

OMJ kips back up to his feet.

OMJ: Looks like it's for a goddamn hero.

Jjs: Hey Jenks!

Jjs grabs Jelly's sledgehammer leg and tosses it towards OMJ, hitting the old man in the head with it.

OMJ: OOF!

Jjs: ...Catch...

OMJ: Me mallet?

Jjs: That's right. Me mallet.

OMJ takes me mallet in hand and springs into action. JCM looks to be going for the kill on Ex.

OMJ: Oh Mr. J?

JCM: Could it be? Someone finally asking me a question?!

OMJ: Bring milk for ME LAWYER?

JCM: I don't know what to say to that-

OMJ proceeds to bang JCM mercilessly with me mallet.

Jjs: That's some vintage BrOMJ action for you, folks! Only here on deathmatch!

OMJ hammers JCM away from Ex and checks up on him.

OMJ: Never thought I'd see you ever defending me again.

Ex: Even though the Fantastic Five has turned you into an asshole, we still had our moments.

OMJ: Like you taking me off PSN?

Ex: Heh, well...

JCM speeds towards OMJ and Ex with his scythe stretched out, but Jjs pelts him with numerous Bolt Blaster shots.

Jjs: How's about a little HYDRO SPLASH!

Jjs switches out his Bolt Blaster for the Hydro Splash and splashes JCM with it, enveloping him inside a drop of water. JCM tries to make his move, but can't.

OMJ: Bah gawd, I think you've done it, Jjs!

Jjs: Wait for it...

The drop covering JCM suddenly explodes all around him.

Jjs: Now I think I've done it. We should get out of here before he decides to bump this thread again.

OMJ: First thing's first, Jjs!

Jjs: What, Jenk Man, what it could it possibly be-

OMJ proceeds to bang Ex's head in with me mallet, killing him.

OMJ: How's THAT for being an asshole?

Jjs: Got that out of your system, Jenk Man?

OMJ: Very quite.

Jjs: Then lets leave!

Jjs and OMJ dart up the entrance ramp only to find themselves continuously running up it in an endless loop each time they reach the exit. It takes them a few minutes of running to realize this.

OMJ: Jjs, I don't think this is working at all.

Jjs: Either our budget's been cut down to such a point during my absence that we're pulling a Flintstones here, or we're just not getting anywhere.

OMJ: Hey, I have you know that our budget has managed to cover Liam Neeson, Kevin Spacey and The Wiggles as of late. THE Wiggles!

The thread arena starts to quake as the ground cracks and breaks apart below them.

Jjs: Bah gawd Jenks, we need to think of something!

OMJ: Jjs, how could we be so naive?!

They walk towards a nearby computer.

OMJ: We have technology! Now hold JCM down while I smash this upside his head.

Jjs: Dammit Jenk Man, that just won't do!

OMJ: Do you think there's more technology scattered around here? Oh, if only the Technology section was still a thing!

JCM: You know what wont be a thing for long? You two barnacle heads!

JCM slashes at their abdominal sections with his scythe, but didnt cut deep enough to disembowel them.

OMJ: OH GOOD GOD! Is it bleeding?

Jjs goes to charge JCM with his Ice Shredder again, but JCM blasts him back with some green energy from his scythe. OMJ comes back with me mallet but JCM blocks his bangs and slashes him to the ground. Jjs gets back up to defend his broadcast partner.

OMJ: No Jjs! Just go!

Jjs: Are you mad, old man?!

OMJ: For once in my life, Jjs, I am not going senile.

JCM: Unfortunately, for you. You won't live long enough to die of old age!

JCM takes another slash at Jenkins.

OMJ: AHH! Go! Save yourself! Do it for the Community! Do it for Deathmatch! Do it...for Community Deathmatch!

Jjs: Community Deathmatch is nothing without us both, Jenks!

OMJ: That's where you're wrong! *slash* Ah sheeeii- that's where you're wrong. Deathmatch can live on with only one half of our broadcast. I made it worked for this long, but you- *slash* GEEEZ LOUISE! You're the definitive voice, the sweet, angelic voice no one has ever really heard yet!

Jjs: No one has heard your's either.

OMJ: Sex can vouch for me- *slash* EEEEE! Trust me, it's horrible! Not fit for the spinoff airwaves. So go! Run away you dumb, stupid animal!

OMJ looks up to see that Jjs has already left.

OMJ: I WAS BEING SARCASTI- *slash* OOOOHHHH!

JCM scoops OMJ up by impaling him through the shoulder with his scythe and hoists him up into the air.

JCM: Now comes the part in JCMovies where you die. No sarcasm. And I shall smite the wicked and cast him into the FIERY PIT!

OMJ: And now comes the part in most lits...where your cameos...end.

OMJ bangs JCM's head around with me mallet, freeing himself from his scythe. They cross weapons, sparks flying as Jjs comes across another familiar face on his mission to find a way out of JCM's ask thread. He brandishes his Slashwind blower, ready for another fight.

Jjs: Stand back! I've got gardening tools!

???: Jjs, it's been a while :)

Jjs: ...Dear Neptune, Deli?

???: No, it's CF, silly :)

Jjs: Great, just when I thought things couldn't possibly get any- er...hhhheeeellllo- hi CCCCCF- you. Hi you. What brings you to darkenbrighten my day? Because if you're here to tussle, then I feel inclined to tell you that if its gotta happen, it's gotta happen. I've killed a lot of people that I particularly like today, don't think that you'll be any different!

CF: Jjs, lets stop fooling ourselves here. :)

Jjs: Fooling? Who's fooling?! I ain't Cha!

CF: Jjs, I like you, I like everyone, but you don't really like me and I can respect that. :)

Jjs: Oh thank Neptune.

CF: And yes, I am here because as two users condemned to this thread, we are obligated to fight in order for the other to live.

Jjs: Ah, yes, tell me something I don't know.

CF: Jjs, I'm not here to fight you. We already did that once before and considering what's going on now, I think it's safe to assume it did little to nothing improve either of our situations. I want you to...kill me, Jjs. You deserve the second chance more than I do.

Jjs: You cannot be serious?

CF: Am I really the type to beeee sarcastic? :)

Jjs: I don't know, it's an open book with you.

CF: Jjs, the only one way to leave this thread is to be the last one standing. I'm the only one standing in the way between you and freedom. You have to kill me.

OMJ and JCM are still going at it in the ring. OMJ nails JCM in the midsection before bringing the hammer down on the reaper's back and hammering him straight down into the mat. JCM kneels up, dazed and confused.

OMJ: You may be the user the Community deserves, but you're not the one it needs.

OMJ raises me mallet.

OMJ: Goodbye JCM.

He goes to bring me mallet down one last time, but JCM quickly swings his scythe to the left, cutting me mallet smack dab in half before it could make contact with his head.

OMJ: ...Hello JCM!

JCM: And farewell, au revoir, auf weidersehen and goodbye!

JCM attacks OMJ with his scythe but OMJ catches the hilt of the weapon in his hands before it could take off his head, trying to wrestle control over it away from JCM. OMJ falls back on his back and catapults JCM away by kicking him off with his legs, breaking JCM's grip on the scythe.

OMJ: You know, JCM, I'm gonna be the bigger man here and cut you some slack.

He proceeds to hack and slash JCM's legs off right from under him.

JCM: AH! Oh, how I hate you, you horrible little monster!

OMJ: Hey, that's no way to speak about Dylan!

Dylan: :whitney: You're on the edge of glory, just finish it

JCM gets stands on the stumps that used to be his legs and charges at OMJ, who uses the scythe to bypass and whip around JCM, drop kicking hard in the back of the head. JCM tries to recover from it, but OMJ drives the blade of the scythe right into JCM's neck.

JCM: Oh just finish it alrea-

OMJ kicks and pushes away at JCM's chest while also pulling back on the scythe, beheading JCM on the spot. Dylan examines the situation.

OMJ: At least you sucked up your pride and quit while you were...ahead this time! :hehe:

Dylan: WINNER, *lifts up OMJ's arm* JENKINS! :awkward: Now if you'll excuse, I need to go about tending to staff duties despite being retired.

JCM's ask thread begins shaking more violently than ever.

OMJ: I need to try and find my own way out of here!

OMJ runs off into the direction Jjs ran off to.

CF: You need to kill me, Jjs! To ensure you own safety! Do it!

Jjs hesitates a little.

Jjs: You-you really mean that?

CF: Of course, you're my friend and you are also the voice of Community Deathmatch. The community needs you more than it does me.

Jjs: I, I don't know if I can...

CF: Whatever do you mean?

Jjs: I mean, if this was one season ago, I would've gone through with it already no problem. But now, looking back at everything, everything's changed. I've changed. Even I have to suck up my pride and admit that I've done some shit, to you especially, that I'm not too particularly proud of. You don't know how much I want us all to make it back. I don't even know if I'll ever get this kind of chance to say this again, but I have to make things right between us! CF, I...I'm sor...sorr...yyy-

CF is suddenly cut in half right down the middle with JCM's scythe.

OMJ: Hey mang! You can thank me later!

Jjs: Squidward_Surprised_For_The_Club.png

OMJ: Get a hold of yourself, mang! We've gotta get outta here!

OMJ drags Jjs along by his arm, Jjs' eyes still fixated on CF's remains. A bright white light appears before them in the form of a portal of some sort.

Jjs: Bah gawd, that's our ticket home, Jenks!

OMJ: You sure?!

Jjs: Sure I'm sure, have I ever been wrong before?!

OMJ: Well, your judgement of CF's character before says hi! But if we're technically dead here wouldn't be running towards the light be bad for us?

Jjs: Dont question it, just do it!

OMJ: Lets just pray to Neptune that this next leap, will be the leap home!

OMJ & Jjs: AAAHHH!!!

OMJ and Jjs jump into the light right as JCM's ask thread crashes down all around them. They cease their screaming and open their eyes to find themselves back in the comfort of their normal broadcast booth in the regular ole Deathmatch Arena. OMJ and Jjs stop clinging to each other once they realize this.

Jjs: We did it?

OMJ: We did it.

Jjs: WE DID IT?!

OMJ: YAY!

Jjs: ¡Lo hicimos!

OMJ: We did it! *hugs jjs*

Jjs: Woohoo!

OMJ: I feel ten years younger!

Jjs: It feels good to be back!

OMJ: We did it, mang! We fuckin did it! We took life by the horns and faced off against Death himself!

Jjs: We shook hands with Neptune, Jenks!

OMJ: I feel like I can take on anyone and anything, mang!

Jjs: Jenk Man, I think this could be the new beginning to a beautiful business relationship.

OMJ: The Spam/Troll Exterminator and the Goddamn Hero together agayn! It's been five fuckin episodes too long, mang. Nothing, and I mean nothing can ruin this for us!

Meanwhile backstage, Sauce is seen loitering around, applying a sticky substance to her eyelashes, when a large shadow looms over her.

Sauce: Um, fucking excuse me. Can't you see I'm trying to adjust my glu- er, Maddie's Magical Magic?

Sauce turns back towards whatever or whoever it was that was behind her. She grows paler than usual from fright and lets out a blood-curdling scream.

OMJ: Would you like to do the honors, broadcast buddy?

Jjs: Well folks, we're all outta time! I'm jjsthekid!

OMJ: And I'm Alfred Morzgan!

Jjs: Wishing you a very Good Fight, Goodnight!

Meanwhile, back in JCM's ask thread. JCM's head reattaches to his body and he gets back up to his feet as CF appears next to him.

JCM: *adjusts his head* Thank Neptune for daily bumps.

CF: If you ask me, they did even better than I expected.

JCM: Yes, they surpassed even my expectations. We'll just have to keep tabs on everything in the meantime.

CF: A hope?

JCM: A chance. The shit storm is on the horizon. I pray to me that they'll be ready when it hits the fan.

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