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This pleased your former overlord...but just because you broke my all time post count means you are more legendary than I. :smirk:

 

Also all the DBZ and wrestling references were like a cherry on top.

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The following program you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is entire coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein...except maybe Scootaloo...

...Anyway, IT'S JUST POSTS!

Episode 8: Black & Yellow, Black & Yellow, Black & Yellow, Black & Yellow

photo-2697.png vs photo-1516.jpg

Jjs: One of SBC's many token blacks takes on SBC's token Asian in a deathmatch to the death! Here tonight, on Community Deathmatch!

Jjs: Welcome death fans!

OMJ: HUTTAH!

Jjs: And we welcome you to this monumental two-days-in-a-row Community Deathmatch! I'm jjsthekid!

OMJ: And I have no idea who I even am anymore!

Jjs: Why the sudden churning, Jenkman?

OMJ: You can say I get some help, from a vewy special fwiend :3

Jjs: Aya?

OMJ: Is it that obvious?

Jjs: Coming from a guy that barely posts around, yes, very, very obvious.

OMJ: Well alrighty then! Let's go backstage with our deathmatch correspon-

Jjs: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

CF: Jjs, OMJ! :) I'm here backstage with none other than Scootaloo! Now Scootaloo-

Scootaloo: Please! Call me Scootaloo. ;)

CF: Uhhhh, Scootaloo, today looks to be your lucky day as you'll be entering the deathmatch ring to take on a highly-regarded member in Shin. You both asked to be featured in this Deathmatch and now you'll have your cake and it too, possibly in a body bag. Your thoughts? :)

Scootaloo: Well, let me tell you my story, it's called The Adventures of Kyle and Carl, have you heard of it?

CF: Well I-

Scootaloo: Of course you have, it has over, what, 2000 views, who am I kidding? *pulls out an ad for his spin-off from a small package he's carrying and gives it to CF* But it's about this guy, his name is Kyle, right? You following me?

CF: Yes-

Scootaloo: Envision yourself reading it for the umpteenth time, woman! And there's this other cat, his name is Carl. Ya feeling me?

CF: I'm not sure I wan-

Scootaloo: And they have themselves some adventures, nah'mean?!

CF: I think so-

Scootaloo: Well that's all I gots to say ;)

A red rubber ball suddenly catches Scootaloo in the face.

?? : BALLS!

A blue ball and a green ball gets thrown at Scootaloo, who swats them away, from off-screen. The camera pans out to reveal Shin, dressed for the occasion by wearing a blazer, with a bag of balls in hand and a sign that reads "Cena Sucks" in the front row.

Shin: DIS IS BALLS! *throws some more balls at Scootaloo* I throw money at this DeathBOOB (death is fake DUH) lit to be featured and this the repay I get? This poser being interviewed before me?! Balls! BALLS, I SAY!

CF: Well I was jus-

Scootaloo: Poser?! Is this nukka serious, did he just call me a poser?! I think Jeremy Lin here called LeBron a poser!

CF: In a cosmic sorta way, yes-

Shin: OOOOOOHHHH MY GOD CF YOU JUST HAD TO PULL THAT REFERENCE DIDN'T CHA?

Scootaloo: Can a poser write a critically acclaimed story such as The Adventures of Kyle and Carl?! Don't let the lack of reviews fool you, mind you, it has 2000 views, mind you. Now put that on your raggedy ass Island and get lost on it! Heh, probably like people when they actually waste time to read it.

Shin: Eat my blazer, scoot! Island has well over 5000!

Scootaloo: Oh you didn't just go there! Tell me he didn't just go there-

Shin: *throws balls* BALLS! BALLS, I SAY!

Scootaloo: At least I have a pair, unlike you needing to carry them around in some sack trying to compensate for something!

CF: Boys pleas- :)

Shin: YOU HAVE A VAGINA

Scootaloo: Oh no you didn't say words!

CF: Guys save this for the death- :)

Scootaloo: MAGNUM XXL, BITCH!

Shin: Reallynow? Looks like a small package you're carrying there

CF: GENTLEMEN PLEASE, SAVE IT FOR THE DEATHMAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaAAAATCH! :)

Scootaloo: ...See ya in that ring, Magoo.

Shin: BALLS!

CF: Back to you, Jjs! :)

Jjs: Fucking cunt.

OMJ: Let's have ourselves a look at the tape to calm the nerves.

Jjs: Gladly!

Scootaloo

Join Date: December 30, 2012

Star Rating: 4

User Ranking: Boating Buddy

Group: Spy Buddies

Active Posts: 446

Profile Views: 51,860

Member Title: That's me!

Age: 13 years old

Birthday: May 30, 2000

Gender: Male

Interests: Video games, Spongebob.

Location: Your face.

Favorite Episode: Band Geeks

Favorite Character: Nat

Jjs: Hailing from your face!

OMJ: Like that pimple you just can't seem to pop!

Jjs: Scootaloo-

OMJ: That's meeee!

Jjs: Enters this deathmatch at a bit of a disadvantage if you ask me, Jenkman.

OMJ: He's been a member here since December 30th of last year and only has a bit under 500 posts to his name, Jjs. That right there just spells trouble. And being just a Boating Buddy, you have to think that his posts are not too well-liked. But his over 50,000 profile views, could very well contradict that.

Jjs: He's not just a Boating Buddy, Jenks, he also flies the Spy Buddy flag, much like his opponent tonight!

OMJ: And at 13-years old, you can be sure some of that naïveté will be showing through!

Jjs: His interests are video games and SpongeBob, his favorite episode is Band Geeks-

OMJ: Whose isn't?

Jjs: You.

OMJ: You're darn tootin!

Jjs: And his favorite character is Nat!

OMJ: ...Whoever the fuck that is.

Jjs: And lets not forget the fact that he's given into the ponies!

OMJ: Brony, huh? Well we know who's gonna die, then.

Shin

Join Date: November 30, 2010

Star Rating: 5

User Ranking: Triton

Group: Spy Buddies

Others: Donator

Active Posts: 1,059

Profile Views: 22,914

Member Title: SBC's Million Dollar Man

Age: 20 years old

Birthday: July 23, 1993

Gender: Male

Interests: the nookie

Location: Las Vegas, NV

Favorite Episode: red mist

Favorite Character: skodwarde

Jjs: Hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada!

OMJ: The ninth Hawaiian Island!

Jjs: SBC's Million Dollar Man-

OMJ: Or, should we say, Million Yen Man!

Jjs: That's Japanese, you freaking idiot. Is quite the veteran here in the Community, and his profile speaks for itself. Being a little over two years his opponent's seniors, Shin has accumulated a whopping 1,059 posts!

OMJ: ...That's just turrble.

Jjs: He may not quite have the same reach in the profile view department as his opponent does, he certainly brings with him a lot of experience, especially at 20 years of age.

OMJ: He's as old as me!

Jjs: Lets not forget the way he works around a few graphics or two.

OMJ: Boy, I'll never! His only interest is a Limp Bizkit song, his favorite episode is red mist and his favorite character is Skodwarde! Such a doll.

Jjs: Aaaaaand, he's Asian!

OMJ: That he is, Jjs, that he is! Relatable on so many levels.

Jjs: Now that we've gotten these formalities out of the way, how's about we head down to the ring with Referee Elastic Dog, who'll signal the start of tonight's featured bout!

OMJ: OH GOODIE

Elastic: Alright you two subway tokens! I want a good, clean fight! No gats, no nunchucks, no need to launder! Any last requests?!

Scootaloo: Be sure to tune in to my critically-acclaimed, highly viewed spin-off, The Adventures of Kyle and Carl, following win here! Get it? Got it? Good! *throws some more ads for his spin-off to the audience*

Shin: To satisfy OMJ's need for Asian butts.

68b1d024-2b10-4cfe-8504-517fd48df73e.gif

Jjs: Relatable on many levels, huh?

OMJ: I think that guy's face pretty much sums up mine.

Elastic: *wipes sweat off head* Hooey, alright then! LETS GET IT ON! But save that gif for me! I'll get it on with a little of that later.

Jjs: And tonight's exhibition finally commences!

Scootaloo: Aight, you stand between Scoots and the mountain top. And lemme make it clear that Scoots is gonna make it to the mountain top, and when Scoots does indeed makes it to the mountain's top, Imma bootaloo your Chinese chicken ass all the way back to the other side, ya feelin me?

Shin takes a lightning-quick jab at Scootaloo right in face, catching him by surprise.

Scootaloo: Free throw! Free throw! But believe me, Jeremy Lin, that's the the last shot you'll ever take-

Shin connects with three more swift jabs, two to Scoot's abdomen and one to his throat. Scootaloo reels back, gasping for air.

Jjs: Shin quickly takes the advantage in the early goings!

OMJ: Literally quickly.

Shin grabs Scootloo by his shoulder, pressing down and pinching his nerve there.

Shin: Your chicken ass is gonna be fried once I'm through with you.

Shin connects three Muay Thai kicks to Scootaloo's face before drilling him with a roundhouse kick.

OMJ: ROADHOUSE

Jjs: Shin is really taking control here, Scootaloo looks like he's out of it!

OMJ: When is he never?

Scootaloo gets back up to his feet and brandishes a switchblade.

Jjs: Dear Neptune, where on earth did he get that?!

OMJ: Internet?

Scootaloo takes a few swings but Shin manages to dodge each attempt and grabs Scoot's arm, bending it back in order to disarm him before sending him flying into the corner turnbuckle with a judo throw.

Jjs: Judo throw with authority!

OMJ: Hug me, Asian braddah!

Shin cautiously approaches Scootaloo, who's trying to use the turnbuckle to regain his footing.

Scootaloo: Man, where's my boys at?!

Suddenly, another young black male storms the ring with a baseball bat in hand and clubs Shin in the back of the head with it from behind.

Jjs: Can that be who I think it is?!

OMJ: Nuggets?

Jjs: No, it's Scootaloo's brother-

???: MY NAME IS....Schoolly Dula, the mic rula, the old schoola! You want a trip, I'll bring it to ya!

OMJ: Ehh, close enough.

Schoolly D bats Shin down as Scootaloo gets up from the turnbuckle and joins in by pounding Shin in the face.

Scootaloo: Make em run in his shit! Run em!

Jjs: This is a two on one assault! Is this even allowed?!

Elastic: I'll allow it!

Scootaloo: Pick em up!

Schoolly picks Shin up and holds his arms back as Scootaloo prepares to take some free shots at him. Before he could connect, Shin kicks him in the gut before cracking him with a kick in the mouth. Shin proceeds to swing his head back at Schoolly, knocking him back and breaking his hold. Shin nails Schoolly with a buzz saw kick to the head, but Scootaloo pounces at him and impales his right thigh with his switchblade, turning it around to cause the confused Asian youth more pain of confusion.

Scootaloo: Lets pick em up and lay him flat!

Schoolly D: Ohohoho! He's so freakin dead!

Scootaloo picks him up and the brothers double team Shin some more, laying him out with their Dudley Death Drop maneuver.

Jjs: Bah GAWD, the carnage that's going on in that ring right now! Shin could be on the verge of being done for here!

OMJ: Don't count your black dogs before they're born yet, Jjs, because look at that!

Another confused, young Asian youth enters the ring with what looks to be his mother.

???: Pick on somebody your own size, snot brains!

Jjs: Dear Neptune below, it's Kevin NG!

OMJ: And Ms. Asian Mom is with him!

Kevin: Sick em, mom!

Scootaloo: Dafuq-

Ms. Asian Mom: Rap music is Black

She blurts out with a heavy accent before beating Scoot and School into submission with her coin purse. Kevin tries to get Shin back in the game as Ms. Asian Mom buys them time.

Kevin: Come one, snot muncher, get up! Don't you wanna win this stinkin thing or not?! *slaps shin's face*

Ms. Asian Mom: B?!?!?!?!?!?! Is for BITCH

She beats both Scoot and Schoolly while they're down as a third black youth enters the ring with a crowbar in hand. He cracks Ms. Asian Mom in the back of the head with it, knocking her robotic cranium right off her shoulders.

Jjs: Bah GAWD! It can't be?!

OMJ: JCM?

Jjs: It's Scootaloo and Schoolly D's other brother, America!

OMJ: Their brother is America, huh? I guess it is a small world after all.

America: 'MURICA! 'MURICA!

America shouts out as he bangs Ms. Asian Mom's body down into scrap metal, his two other brothers joining him in the action.

OMJ: They're gang banging Ms. Asian Mom!

Jjs: I can't watch!

The three brothers turn their attention towards Kevin and Shin, who is still struggling to get up.

Shin: Get out of here, Kevin!

Kevin: But I can't just leave your snot munching ass out here to die?

Shin: This is my match, I'll take it the cold embrace of death alone.

???: Shin!

They turn to see She-shin, back from doing She-shin things to cheer on her man.

Jjs: It's She-shin! She's back!

OMJ: And not black!

She-shin: Shin, we're gonna do this, together for once! You hear me?

Shin: Loud and clear, baby boo.

Kevin: That's more like it, slutfaces. Attack Pattern Alpha!

Kevin pounces up and turns to attack the Brothers Scoots on his own, but stops when he sees what they did to Ms. Asian Mom. They approach him as he backs up a few steps and throws on an Afro wig.

Kevin: I'm on your side, dawgs! Homies for life? *offers his fist to be bumped*

America bumps him upside the head and all three of them proceed to mob Kevin.

OMJ: Vintage Kevin!

Schoolly D: Keep RUNNIN dat mouth boi!

America: Yeah, keep RUNNIN dat mouth!

Kevin: Crud! CRUUUUUD!

She-shin tries to intervene by throwing some arty art at the brothers, but Schooly throws his bat at her and knocks her out.

Jjs: This doesn't look good for the Yellow Team at all, folks!

Shin gets back up to his to and attempts to attack them but Schoolly gores him into the corner turnbuckle, shoulder blocking him back into submission. Scootaloo crack Kevin in his Afro a good couple of times with the crowba, laying the little dude out old in a bloody mess.

Scootaloo: This is for Kyle and Carl, the most-viewed spin-off ever, might I add.

Schoolly D: Heheheh, good one Scooty!

They high five each other before Scootaloo picks up Kevin by the head and forces him to bite down on the ring mat.

Scootaloo: Bite that shit!

America: Yeah, bite that shit!

Kevin: No. Stinkin. Way.

Scootaloo slaps him around a few more times before forcefully planting his mouth onto the mat, jamming Kevin's teeth in there.

Scootaloo: For Kyle!

Schoolly: For Carl!

America: For 'Murica!

Scootaloo proceeds to curb stomp Kevin's head in, killing him almost instantly.

OMJ: VINTAGE

Jjs: GOOD NEPTUNE ALMIGHTY! Not like this! Not like this!

Scootaloo: He ain't gonna be late for AP Lunch no more!

The brothers turn their attention to She-shin, but Shin jumps out in front of her, using his body to keep her alive.

Scootaloo: Schoolly, the honors?

Schoolly D: Hohoho, you're so fuckin dead!

He begins to charge up his eye lasers in order to finish Shin off, but Shin, using his graphics wizardy, morphs faces with She-shin, initiating their Asian Fusion and combining their skills into one user, Shinya!

944511_10153000958380315_2001808913_n.jp

Jjs: That-That's gotta be Shinya!

OMJ: KETSUEKIRAN

Shinya proceeds to quickly punch a hole through Schoolly D's face before he could fire, killing him instantly.

OMJ: Pow! Right in the kisser!

Jjs: Schoolly D has been taken out of school!

Scootaloo: Kyle?!

Shinya swiftly karate chops America in half, bringing his society down at the seams.

Scootaloo: Carl?!

OMJ: 'MURICAAAAAAA

Jjs: And America has been put down in his place!

OMJ: In the pocket of the Chinese, no less!

Jjs: *facepalms*

Shinya sizes Scootaloo up for a death blow of his own, but Scootaloo whips out his 9mm and busts a cap into Shinya's abdomen, bringing the Asian fusion down and retreating up the ramp.

Elastic: Hey! I said no gats- aww fuck it, this deathmatch went as much out there as it is.

Jjs: I don't believe it! That gunshot is forcing Shinya to retreat to the back! This deathmatch can't just end like this!

OMJ: But Scootaloo is quickly following suit, with that 9mm still locked and loaded, Jjs! He's out for blood.

Scootaloo: Yeah, run and fall back into obscurity like a biatch! That ain't gonna matter for jack SH-

A speeding car suddenly races out of the entrance way and runs down Scootaloo on the mat. Scootaloo's body bounces all over the car before falling broken to the ramp.

Jjs: DEAR NEPTUNE BELOW! A car just came speeding down the entrance ramp and smack dab into Scootaloo!

OMJ: Not just any car, Jjs!

2e12db1cff4311e281cb22000a1f9a0a_7.jpg

OMJ: An 02 volvo s60 2.4T AWD, bitch!

Shinya sticks his head out of the driver's window to look back and get a look at the damage he had done.

Jjs: It's Shinya, bah GAWD almighty!

OMJ: Never let Asians drive!

Jjs: But you're Asian, supposedly.

OMJ: Hapa, sizable difference, Jjs.

Shinya reverses the car back. Scootaloo tries in vain to shoot at it before getting ran over. Shinya speeds forward, running over Scootaloo's mangled body once again. Shinya repeats this for about five more minutes before stopping and putting his car in park. Elastic comes to survey the situation. He raises Shinya's arm up in victory.

Elastic: Like something outta Troma. WINNER, SHIN...YA!

Jjs: Shinya comes right back for the win!

OMJ: He and She-shin can fade right on back into obscurity with some pride! But not without getting me some more Asian butts, of course.

Jjs: Well folks, we're all outta time! I'm jjsthekid!

OMJ: And I'm the Ass Man!

Jjs: Saying Good Fight, Goodnight!

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Great match OMJ! You did it again! Why do I die in yours and Aya's all the time? xD

at least you haven't died 12 times like me and Clappy have in mine

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You heard me. I'm just not like that.

Dude, it's a parody/satire. A lot of the people on this lit aren't like how they're portrayed here in actuality. The first paragraph in italics at the beginning of every episode (besides the "Except maybe for *insert name*" here part, which is just there for a quick laugh) pretty much explains itself.

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