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Here's my next SBCinema guest write. This one was pretty difficult to write, but I managed to pull it off.

 

45. SBC Millionaire

Movie: Slumdog Millionaire

 

PatBack, hailing from the slums of SBC, is a contestant on the game show "Who Wants to Be a SBC Millionaire?", hosted by Jjs. He enters into the game room, with a crowd of SBCers watching the game. The next scene shows PatBack hanging from the rope in an interrogation room, where Head Constable Wumbology slaps PatBack across the face. Inspector Aquatic Nuggets is also in the room. PatBack, who was just on the 20 million doubloons question, has been accused of cheating, due to him being a slum with no education. PatBack tries to plead his innocence, but keeps getting tortured. Nuggets puts a stop to it, and says they shall move rooms to get more info out of him. 

 

A while earlier, PatBack is sitting on a chair across from Jjs in the game room, ready for the first question. Jjs asks: "Who was the star of cult SBC film "The Guy Falls (AKA A Really Funny Movie)?" PatBack then has a flashback to his childhood days in the SBC slums, which is the remains of what was the Tv.com SpongeBob board, but it is now a land polluted by poverty, noobs, trolls, and spammers. A helicopter is approaching the lands with famous spammer NewLeafFan, who is viewed as a prince among the citizens of the slums. Many of them go chasing after the helicopter for NewLeafFan's autograph. PatBack is in an outhouse on a hill with his brother StormAllenBryat outside, when both hear the helicopter coming near by. Storm then locks PatBack in the outhouse, and goes to get NewLeafFan's autograph. PatBack is pissed, and yells "YOU COCK SUCKING DASTARD!!!" to StormAllen. He tries to get out of the outhouse, but to no luck. PatBack has no choice, so he jumps through a hole in the outhouse, and he lands in a pit of spam. PatBack manages to make his way out of the spam pit, and comes running to a crowd in town square, flocking around NewLeafFan, who is signing autographs. PatBack manages to get his way through the crowd, and gets an autograph from NewLeafFan, despite being covered in spam. Flashing back to the game show, PatBack answers "NewLeafFan", shocking the audience, but he gets it right, starting PatBack off with 1,000 doubloons.

 

Jjs then asks the next question for 4,000 doubloons: "What was the original catchphrase of the SpongeBob Community?" The choices are as follows:

A: "Thank you for that unnecessary and somewhat spammy post."

B: "Welcome to hell, I am your tour guide Aya."

C: "The safe heaven for SpongeBob fanatics."

D: "Welcome to the SpongeBob Community! Please leave your common sense and dignity at the door, and pick up these special pills that make you cuss and/or say something extremely random that's supposed to be insulting in nearly every post you make, just because it'll "make you cooler"."

 

PatBack is struggling to answer this one, but he flashes back to his past again, awhile later, after getting the spam cleaned off of him, PatBack discovers his autograph has gone missing. Storm reveals he sold it off to some fat guy named Rick, and PatBack is furious. However, they hear panic going on in the village, and they see a bunch of Avatar fans ransacking the SpongeBob boards and massacring civilians. They are cheering over Legend of Korra's win in the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards, beating out SpongeBob for Best Cartoon in the first time in years (like that's ever going to actually happen). Their leader, Edmasterchaos, sets fire to multiple facilities, and another Avatar fan slays PatBack and Storm's mother, Ponyo Fan. PatBack and StormAllen are upset, but they manage to flee. Flashing back to the game show again, PatBack cannot remember the catchphrase. Jjs asks PatBack if he is giving up already, but PatBack says no, and he decides to use "Ask the Audience". They all say the answer is C, with one member saying B. PatBack chooses C, and he gets the question. The scene then cuts to Aquatic Nuggets with Wumbo and PatBack in Nuggets' office. PatBack's game is being shown on the television in the room. Nuggets witnesses the catchphrase question, and sees PatBack asking the audience for help. He questions him on how he could not remember that one of all questions, but PatBack says he could not connect it to his past. He claims he is connecting the answers to his past, but Wumbo slaps PatBack in the head, saying "You should have chosen A, boy." Nuggets is not buying PatBack's claims however. 

 

Cutting back to the game show again, many questions later, PatBack is now on the next question for 16,000 doubloons. Jjs asks: "What ex-troll is viewed as a god among the slums?" The choices are:

A: Person

B: WhaleBlubber

C: Lew

D: NathanJR94

 

PatBack flashes back to his past again, as Storm and him are running through the alleys of the village. They then come across a strange man who is wearing a costume of a whale. Storm thinks the man is trying to impersonate their god, WhaleBlubber, but the person takes off their costume to reveal 70s, who was planning to impersonate WhaleBlubber to annoy the slums, as he has nothing else better to do his spare time, but they are interrupted when some Avatar fans come charging down the alley. PatBack and Storm manage to escape, but 70s is impaled through the chest with a spear. Back to the game show, PatBack answers "B", as the audience is interested even more, and Jjs is surprised at how much PatBack knows.

 

Remembering his past again, PatBack is seen with Storm taking refuge in some hut, but it is raining and dark out. They then see a strange girl standing out in the pouring rain, and PatBack tries to invite her in, but Storm is against it, Storm goes to sleep, and PatBack calls out to the girl, and she comes inside with then. She reveals herself as "Jenna". The three begin to bond, and name themselves the "Fantastic Three", based off of the old Fantastic Five tales on SBC. Later on, the three are walking through the Tv.com slums, and they come across a gangster named Hayden. He trains the three into becoming beggars, and they start begging throughout the slums to get money. However, Storm discovers Hayden has been deceiving them, when he sees Hayden take out a noob named Person's eyes with a spoon, revealing he is blinding noobs and trolls to make them more sympathetic as beggars. Storm tells PatBack and Jenna this, and when Hayden is about to take out PatBack's eyes, but Storm yells "SUCK MY COCK!" and the three manage to escape from Hayden. He sends some of his gangster members, Drake, Liam, and Meg, after them. They manage to get on a train, but Jenna is falling behind. Storm reaches his hand out at Jenna, but he purposely lets go, and Jenna is recaptured by Hayden's crew members. PatBack flips at Storm for this, and they continue to argue, as the train continues to go by.

 

Over the next few years, PatBack and Storm grow up on the train. They make a living by selling goods, stealing people's money, and working as dish washers. The two are on top of the train and they try to get inside, but they accidentally fall off, and go tumbling off the cliffs below. They walk their way through the slums and come across the Terminoob Mahal, a building built in honor of SBC's founding father. They pretend to be workers there, and feed false information to tourists there, along with stealing shoes. Back to the game show, PatBack is on the next question for 1,000,000 doubloons, which Jjs asks: "What former SBC admin had a building built in their honor?" The choices are as follows:

A: Dylan

B: 70s

C: Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick

D: Terminoob

 

Remembering the time at the Terminoob Mahal, PatBack immediately answers D, and he is now at 1,000,000 doubloons, much to the crowd's surprise, but Jjs is getting more suspicious. Going back to the past again, PatBack and Storm have returned to the Tv.com slums, which has changed over the past few years, and they try to find Jenna. They find out from a singing beggar named AcidicDragon that Jenna has been raised by Hayden as one of his prostitutes, and has been training her in the ways of sexually seducing people on the internet. PatBack and Storm manage to find Hayden's hideout, and they see Jenna there, reunited with her at long last. They manage to rescue Jenna, but Hayden and his crew catch them. Storm pulls out a gun on Hayden and threatens to shoot him. Hayden laughs and says no noob is strong enough to shoot him, but Storm fires at once, and Hayden is killed. Meg, Drake, and Liam put their hands in the air, and slowly back away. The three then flee from the hideout, and they manage to take refuge in a hotel room. Storm then reveals he has been employed by Hayden's rival crime lord, SpongeOddFan, and was ordered to kill Hayden. Storm then orders PatBack to leave him and Jenna alone, drawing a gun on him. Being the older one, he says he has superiority, and he also tells PatBack to suck his cock. Jenna tells PatBack to go away, as she does not want him hurt, and PatBack leaves.

 

Many years later, PatBack is seen at a call centre. One of the employees there (JCM in a cameo), is taking a break to enter on Jjsthekid's "Who Wants to Be a SBC Millionaire?", so JCM asks for PatBack to take his spot. PatBack searches the database for Jenna and Storm. He finds nothing on Jenna, but he does manage to find Storm. He manages to call him, and Storm is shocked to hear PatBack's voice after so long. They manage to reunite at a building under construction, and Storm apologizes for his actions. He reveals he is now a high-ranking lieutenant in SOF's mafia. PatBack attacks Storm, but he begs for forgiveness. PatBack then manages to discover where Jenna is from him, and he comes across a luxury mansion owned by SOF. He enters in, and SOF, who is wearing a fancy outfit, asks who he is. He reveals he is his new chef, and he sees Jenna there. SOF goes into the other room, ready to watch a new Gravity Falls episode, and Jenna talks with PatBack. Jenna asks him to forgot about her, and PatBack makes a sandwich for SOF. He gives it to SOF, but SOF is disgusted by the sandwich, and yells "Cruse you, you're fired!" PatBack sadly leaves, and tries to tell Jenna he will wait for her every day at 5 o'clock at the old SBC train station. Jenna tries to reunite with him, but she is recaptured by SOF's men. SOF has also moved to another house outside of SBC City, so the only option for PatBack was to enter in on "Who Wants to Be a SBC Millionaire?".

 

PatBack is now at the 10,000,000 doubloon question, which Jjs asks: "Which SpongeBob Jeopardy player has the most wins?"

A: CDCB

B: Teenj

C: Aquatic Nuggets

D: JCM

 

Unfortunately, PatBack does not know the answer at all, and cannot connect it to his past. Just then, the timer rings, and the show is over for the today. PatBack goes to the bathroom backstage, and Jjs enters, who tells PatBack he can win it. PatBack keeps saying he does not know the answer, and Jjs secretly writes "B" on the mirror. The next day, PatBack is still on the same question. He decides to use the 50/50 option, which takes away A and C, leaving B and D. PatBack says D, after he suddenly realized Jjs gave him the wrong answer on the mirror, due to Jjs' somewhat hostile attitude to PatBack during the game. PatBack keeps saying D is his final answer, and he gets it right. The crowd cheers, and PatBack only has one question left. Jjs takes PatBack backstage real quick for a break, and just then, PatBack is attacked by some guards, thrown into a van, and taken away. Jjs' assistant Teenj comes by to see what is going on, and Jjs reveals PatBack has been "cheating", because PatBack realized he fed him the wrong answer. Teenj questions on why he gave him a wrong answer, but Jjs says it is his show, and proceeds to throw a small temper tantrum.

 

Cutting back to Nuggets' office, PatBack has explained to them why he signed up. He knows Jenna watches it regularly, and he wanted to reunite with her. Wumbo laughs at this, and asks him why Jenna never sent him a sexual PM many years ago, but PatBack gets pissed and begins to punch Wumbo in the face, and the two begin to fight. They are both restrained by Ssj and hilaryfan80, and Nuggets orders Wumbo to go outside. PatBack swears to Nuggets he is telling the truth, and Nuggets, after some thinking, decides to let PatBack back into the show. PatBack is brought back to the game show, with a crowd of users cheering him on. He is ready for the final question. Jenna is at SOF's safe-house, and she is in the same room as Storm. Jenna is watching PatBack's game on the television, and in an effort to make amends, Storm gives Jenna his car keys and mobile phone. He tells her to go to PatBack, and she manages to escape. Storm, knowing SOF will come for him since he let Jenna go, goes into another room with a bathtub. He fills it with cash and sits in it, waiting for his death when SOF discovers what he has done.

 

Back at the game show, Jjs gives PatBack his final question, for 20,000,000 doubloons: "Which of the following group of members formed the Fantastic Five?" The choices were:

A: Nuggets, Dylan, ExKizuna, Dr. Sex, and Elastc

B: Cha, Aya, Clappy, Sauce, and OMJ

C: Cha, Aya, Clappy, Sauce, and JCM

D: OMJ, CNF1, Teenj, JCM, and Cha

 

PatBack is completely clueless and doesn't know the answer. He only has one lifeline last, which is Phone a Friend. He decides to phone Storm, as it is the only number he knows. Jenna is watching outside, and she realized that she has Storm's phone. She makes her way through the crowd to try to get to the car. PatBack is running out of time, as the phone keeps ringing, but no answer. When all hope seems lost, Jenna finally gets to the phone and answers just in time. The crowd is surprised to hear this, and Jjs, confused on who it is, let's the game continued. PatBack is confused on why Jenna answered, but he is happy nonetheless. He tells her the question, but sadly Jenna doesn't know, and she wishes him good luck. The call has ended, and PatBack is by himself. He decides to take a random guess, which is B....and he is correct. PatBack wins the 20,000,000 doubloons, and has finally gotten out of the slums of SBC. At the same time, SOF and his men are about to enter the room Storm is in. Storm gets out his gun, and as SOF enters, he shoots SOF, before another one of the mafia members shoots Storm. His last dying breath is "God is great", and he dies in the tub of money. Later the same night, PatBack finally reunites with Jenna at the train station. 

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That was really good! My favorite part was how all of the answers to the catchphrase question besides the correct one were all past quotes from SBC members.

I'll be honest, I can't believe I missed that until I re-read it for myself.

Job well done once again Jjs. Feel free to guest write again someday.

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Ohai, here's a guest write for ya.

 

46. Meme Girls

Movie: Mean Girls

 

A local public school welcomes a new student in Jelly Heron, hailing all the way from London, England, from experiencing Beatlemania. Jelly becomes friends with outcasts Jjs Ian and Dylan, the latter of whom is “almost too Gaga to function”. The two convince her to skip her first health class, taught by Coach Sex, who pretty much tells the entire class not to have sex or listen to blink-182. Jjs and Dylan warn Jelly to stay away from an elitist group known as The Elastics, comprised of ReChana George, SG Wieners, and Karen Sauce.

 

While in math class (taught by Ms. Kneesocks aka Ms. Aya aka Ms. Rollins etc.), Jelly meets her fifth crush (after John, Paul, George and Ringo) in Crushin Sameolds, a dreamboat who asks Jelly for a pencil in order to write in his average mathbook. At lunch, some douchebag named Whaleblubber asks Jelly if she wants her toast jellied, but she is saved by ReChana George, who invites Jelly to join The Elastics.

 

Sauce comments that Jelly’s Beatles t-shirt is “ibabsibolibutibeliby fibabibulibous”, but ReChana tells her to stop trying to make Saucenese happen. It’s not going to happen. SG comments that it’s unconditionally extravagant. Jelly also learns that Crushin is ReChana’s ex-boyfriend, but she left him for a guy named SpongeBuck. Later that day, Jelly gets invited to join the Mrs. Asian Mom Stereotyped Mathletes, led by Kevin_ng. The Elastics call it “social suicide” and veto Jelly’s decision. While at ReChana’s house, Jelly learns of The Xat Book, a book filled with comments so horrible about classmates and teachers that it would be downright dangerous in the wrong hands.

 

Just as Jelly believed to have Crushin as her boyfriend, ReChana dumps SpongeBuck and steals him back. Incensed with rage, Jelly conspires with Jjs and Dylan to take down ReChana George by taking away the three things that secure her power in school: her boyfriend, her fellow Elastics, and her collection of Squidly drawings. Jelly pretends to be bad at math in order to get Crushin’s attention, who helps her to find the average of a series of fractions. She convinces ReChana to sell her all her Squidly pictures, which she burns in a fire. And she tells SG that ReChana thinks her vocabulary is too big and Sauce that Regina knows her eyelashes are fake. She also makes sure that SG does not receive a candy cane gram from ReChana, but she does. (Also, four for you, JCM Cameo. You go, JCM Cameo!)

 

At the winter talent show, after a blistering rap performance from Kevin NG, Jelly joins The Elastics for their annual “Jingle Bell Rock” dance. Unfortunately, Jelly kicks the CD player, making it skip. She then sings “Strawberry Fields Forever” a capella, and the crowd joins in.

 

Meanwhile, Jelly, Jjs and Dylan work to catch ReChana cheating on Crushin, but instead catch Coach Sex having sex with Sara Reynolds to the tune of “The Rock Show”. Jjs invites Jelly to his Tommy Wiseau Impersonation Show on the 28th. Jelly also discovers that she’s failing. To counter Ms. Kneesocks, she writes an entry on her in The Xat Book on how she keeps a secret drug pharmacy in her desk, which explains how she came up with “Clapwald”.

 

Eventually, the scheming works and ReChana gets dethroned, and Jelly is the new queen bee. Jelly throws a party at her house, blowing off Jjs’ show and lying to them. She invites Crushin to her party, but Crushin is put off by her newfound fakeness. He leaves, and Jjs and Dylan find out that Jelly lied to them, and they tell her that she is full-on Elastic and worse that ReChana because she tries to cover it up.

 

ReChana, meanwhile, gets revenge on Jelly by writing a fake entry about herself in the Xat Book, and distributes copies all over school. The Elastics look like they are to blame, but the riot that ensues shifts the focus to all the girls in the school and the mean things they say to one another. Principal Nuggets makes the girls write apologies to other girls that they have wronged, and then apologies to Yeezy. Queen Malie in a cameo blubbers about how she wishes everyone could just listen to Ke$ha and be happy.

 

 

ReChana is infuriated and storms out. An apologetic Jelly follows, but not in time to save ReChana from getting hit by Old Man Jenkins’ Jalopy. Jelly decides to begin to make amends by admitting that she wrote the rumour about Mr. Kneesocks. Ms. Kneesocks forgives her, replying “good good, very good”. At The Spring Fling, Jelly wins the title of Queen, but she decides to right her other wrongs and breaks up the crown to give to the other candidates. Crushin forgives her, and they dance averagely. Jjs and Kevin hook up in a steamy romance that could only be detailed in an SBC Shipping Topic, and the entire grade moves on to junior year.

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47. 4/20 Blaze It...or something like that

Movie: Reefer Madness

 

 

Aya and Dylan sell marijuana. Aya prefers to sell marijuana to customers her own age, whereas Dylan sells the plant to young teenagers. Shin, a psychotic ex-college student turned fellow dealer and addict, and Jelly help Dylan sell cannabis to young students. Young students Elastic and Sex are invited to Aya and Dylan's apartment by Jelly and Shin. Sex takes Elastic to the party. There, Dylan runs out of reefer. Sex, who has a car, drives him to pick up some more. Arriving at Dylan's boss' "headquarters," he gets out and Sex asks him for a cigarette. Dylan gives him a joint. Later, when Dylan comes back down and gets into the car, Sex drives off dangerously, along the way running over a pedestrian (JCM in a cameo) with his car. A few days later, Dylan tells Sex that JCM died of his injuries. Dylan agrees to keep Sex's name out of the case, providing he agrees to "forget he was ever in Aya's apartment". Sex does indeed escape the consequences of his crime — a rare occurrence in the story.

 

Elastic begins an affair with Jelly. Jenna, Sex's sister and Elastic's girlfriend, goes to Aya's apartment looking for Sex, and accepts a joint from Shin, thinking it to be a normal cigarette. When she refuses Shin's advances, he tries to rape her. Elastic comes out of the bedroom after having sex with Jelly, and hallucinates that Jenna strips for Shin. He attacks Shin, and as the two are fighting, Dylan tries to break it up by hitting Elastic with the butt of his gun. The gun goes off and Jenna is killed…much to Wumbo’s dismay. Dylan puts the gun in the hand of an unconscious Elastic, and wakes him up. Elastic sees the gun in his hand, and is led to believe that he has killed Jenna. The group of dealers lies low for a while in Jelly's apartment while Elastic's trial takes place. Shin, losing his sanity, wants to tell the police who is actually responsible for the death of Jenna. The film attributes Shin's insanity to marijuana use.  Shin is arrested for Dylan's murder.

 

Seeking advice from his boss, Dylan is told to shoot Shin so he keeps his mouth shut. Meanwhile, at the apartment, Jelly offers to play some piano music for Shin to keep his mind off things. They are both very high, and Shin tells her to play faster. She increases her playing speed to a downright cartoon-like speed in one of the film's most famous and over-the-top sequences. Dylan shows up and Shin immediately senses that Dylan wants to kill him, so he kills Dylan by beating him to death. The police arrest Shin, Aya, and Jelly. Aya talks, and the criminal gang is rounded up. Jelly explains that Elastic was innocent, and he is released. Jelly is then held as a material witness for the case against Shin, but rather than testify against him, Jelly jumps out a window and falls to her death. Shin is put in an asylum for the criminally insane "for the rest of his natural life." Aya's ultimate fate is unspecified.

 

This story is told in bracketing sequences at a lecture given at a SBM meeting by Jeopardy host, Halibut. At the end of the story, he tells the SBM members he has been talking to that events similar to those he has described are likely to happen again, and then points to random members in the audience and warns that "the next tragedy may be that of you... or you... or you, or you..." before pointing straight at the camera and saying emphatically "...or YOU!" as the words "I want to make people aware that they have flaws that other people notice and that they should stop being oversensitive about it." appear on the screen.

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NOTE: The following episode takes place before "The Snark Knight".

48. Cameo Man Begins
Movie: Batman Begins

JCM, as a child, is seen playing with his friend Stefani. They are running around the outside of his parents' greenhouse, when JCM falls down a hole that leads into a well. Stefani goes to get help, while JCM sees a small cave that has tons of bats come popping out of it. They scare JCM so much that he begins to have a strange hallucination of not being asked questions in something called an "Ask Me" topic. JCM passes out, as his father, Jay, comes down in a rope and rescues JCM. He begins to develop a fear of bats and whatever an "Ask Me" is, but lives his life on.

JCM's parents Jay and Cee take him to an opera at the SBC City Theater via a private monorail built for them, and he sees their family's company, JCM Enterprises, in the distance. While at the opera, JCM begins to see strange things, such as bats, questions, and more, so he asks them if they can leave. They exit out in an alley, when suddenly a mugger named Nonya approaches them with a gun. Jay drops his wallet and tells Nonya to take it, but Nonya shoots both Jay and Cee anyways, as he runs off with the wallet. Jay tells JCM "don't be afraid", as he dies. JCM is left there devastated. Later on, Jay and Cee's butler, Old Man Jenkins tells JCM it will be okay, but JCM feels it is all his fault.

14 years later, Nonya is granted parole in exchange for testifying against SBC City mafia boss Crushing Maycone in SBC Court. JCM decides to go there to seek vengeance, as he hides a gun up his sleeve. However, one of Maycone's henchmen shoots Nonya before JCM can. JCM comes across his childhood friend, Stefani, who is now a world famous singer named Lady Gaga and the new district attorney. She scolds JCM for trying to take the law into his own hands, and says Jay would be ashamed of him. JCM runs off to confront Crushing at Robot-Pirate Island club. Crushing explains to JCM that real power comes from being feared (along with playing many games in the Games section), and he asks his men to escort JCM out. JCM decides to travel the world to learn about criminals, even becoming one himself. He gets caught starting a fight on a Xat over an award, and is arrested in a Xat prison. A strange man named Darris approaches JCM, and offers to bail him out of the prison to join the League of Rage, a mysterious organization led by ACS, that will train JCM in the arts of stealth, fear, and defense against cyber bullying criminals. JCM, not having much of a choice, agrees.

Darris takes JCM to an icy land faraway in the banished lands of the internet, and comes to a dojo that is shaped like a flight bunker, the base of the League of Rage. He sees the great ACS on a throne, and JCM begins his training period of defending himself against cyber criminals. Darris takes a particular interest into JCM, and decide to give him some harsh training, but JCM kept on training his hardest. Some time later, ACS feels JCM is well trained enough to lead his army. He reveals he wants to destroy SBC City, saying that it is corrupt beyond repair. JCM begins to have doubts on this, and ACS then forces him to execute a cyber criminal named 1j1. ACS hands JCM a sword, but he says that he doesn't kill. Darris warns JCM that compassion will be his greatest weakness. JCM gets ready to "kill" 1j1, only to fling a torch out of Darris' hand, and it goes flying into the storage room upstairs filled with explosives. The bunker then goes into a Michael Bay-esque explosion, as debris begins to fall everywhere. JCM begins to fight ACS, only for ACS to get crushed by a burning piece of debris. He then goes bursting out of the exploding bunker, and sees Darris sliding off an icy cliff, but JCM manages to save him. He takes Darris to a foreign guru, and leaves him there to heal.

JCM walks his ways back, where he sees OMJ in a plane. OMJ says to JCM that he has been gone for 7 years, and that it is finally time to return to SBC City. OMJ says he made the city think he was dead however, but JCM isn't having none of that, so he comes back (in black). JCM takes an interest in acquiring rights to JCM Enterprises, so he visits there to see it being run by Steel Sponge. Everyone is shocked because of the claims he was dead, and so JCM says "well, I'm back from the dead, baby". JCM decides to take some stocks into the company, being heir to run the company, and manages to become a millionaire in doubloons. He meets up with the chief scientist named Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick, who shows him many prototype technologies, including the Tumblr, a heavy tank, and a protective bodysuit.

JCM wears the bodysuit and a mask, and decides to break into Sgt. Wumbology's office, where he tells Wumbo that he is the only non-corrupt officer, and that he wants to help him. Wumbo asks who the hell this is, but JCM vanishes. JCM decides to go back down the well he visited so long ago with OMJ, and finds an entrance to the cave, facing his fear of bats. He creates a workshop down there, and decides to take the name of "Cameo Man". OMJ asks where he got that from, and JCM says "Asking questions can be your weakness. But seriously, I don't cameo in SBCinema for nothing". OMJ says touche, and JCM decides to also set up an Ask Me page so he doesn't have anymore fears relating to questions, and he gets bombarded with many many questions. He makes several question mark shaped boomerangs, and starts to paint the protective body suit a black color.

At the Goo Lagoon docks, Cameo Man sees some of Maycone's men are intercepting a drug shipment, along with Sgt. Wumbo's spammy and suspicious partner Detective Dragiiin. He scares the living hell out of the men, and gives them a beating. Maycone is in a limo wanting to know what the hell is going on, when Cameo Man grabs him, and ties him to a spotlight, shining the image of a question mark in the sky. Cameo Man then goes off to brutally interrogates Dragiiin by swinging him up and down from a rope in an alley, and asks Drag on what they were doing with the drugs, but he says he honestly had no idea. He is then dropped to the ground, and Drag runs off.

 

Meanwhile, Gaga starts to question the actions of Dr. CDCB, a corrupt psychopharmacologist who is the head of the Industrial Asylum. He continues to let several cyber criminals stay there after many court rulings. Gaga is then confronted by some of Maycone's men, who want to silence her, and she tries to fight them off, but Cameo Man comes to help fight them off. He then tells her about Maycone's drug shipment. Cameo Man also tells the information to Wumbo, and how his partner Dragiiin was a part of the gang. With all the evidence, they finally arrest Crushing. Elsewhere, hilaryfan80 gets questioned by Steel Sponge when a powerful Tapatalk emitter that vaporizes the enemy's internet waves, made by JCM Enterprises, gets hijacked off of a ship, with most of the crew not making it out alive. hilaryfan80 is confused on what happened to it, but Steel decides to fire hilaryfan80. Maycone and his henchmen are declared mentally unfit for a trial by Judge SG, so they are transferred to the Industrial Asylum.

Dr. CDCB comes into a room with Crushing, and he asks how CDCB will be able to convince him to keep his mouth shut about the plan. Crushing also reveals he's aware of CDCB's little "experiments" in the Asylum, saying he doesn't go into business with someone without knowing their dirty little secrets. He then says ACS is planning something big, and wants whatever it is. CDCB already knows ACS will say no, and that he'll kill Maycone. Crushing isn't scared, so CDCB asks Crushing if he wants to see his mask, saying it shouldn't scare a tough guy like him. He puts on a mask of a PB&J Otter character, and sprays a white mist in Crushing's face, who is driven insane from the "Scareotter", as CDCB taunts him through the blurred vision.

Cameo Man decides to further investigate into CDCB, and he finds him with some goons at a small containment unit with all their drugs. He beats up some of the goons, until CDCB puts on his PB&J Otter mask, sprays the white mist on Cameo Man, and he is affected by it. He begins to see many haunting images, such as Scareotter, the bats, the questions, and more. CDCB says he needs to lighten up, so he sets Cameo Man on fire, and he jumps out of the warehouse, landing on the ground, and rolling around to shake off the fire, as he tries to get rid of the hallucinations. JCM is rescued by OMJ, and given a cure by hilaryfan80, who informs JCM on the missing Tapatalk emitter and his firing. Gaga then decides to confront CDCB at the Asylum, when he sees Crushing muttering "Scareotter" over and over. Gaga asks what the Scareotter is, and it is revealed CDCB and his goons have been dumping the toxins into SBC City's internet waves. CDCB puts on his mask and sprays Gaga with the chemical, and she passes out. Cameo Man invades the Asylum, and begins to attack the criminals. CDCB is about to spray Cameo Man, but he gives him a taste of his own medicine and sprays the chemical on CDCB. Cameo Man asks CDCB who he works for, and he keeps saying "ACS", scared of Cameo Man, but Cameo Man says ACS is dead, so he tosses CDCB aside.

The police surround the building, as Cameo Man climbs up the top with Gaga's unconscious body, and tells Wumbo what happened. He escapes away in the Tumblr, taking Gaga to the Cameo Cave. He gives Gaga the cure, and she wakes up. She asks who this is, but Cameo Man says there's no time. He gives her two vials of the antidote for the chemical - one for Wumbo an one for mass distribution, and tells her to hand them to Wumbo when she wakes up, as he puts her to sleep. Wumbo finds out that the chemical has infected the city's entire internet waves, but will only cause harm if inhaled. JCM has a 30th birthday celebration at his mansion. While there, someone tells him that ACS has come to visit him. He says this can't be, but he sees an odd figure that looks like ACS, however they walk away, and JCM comes face to face with...Darris.

Darris reveals he is really ACS in disguise, and that the previous two he saw were decoys - the one that was killed many months ago was KDFire, and the one just now was World Travel. JCM decides to announce his speech, which is him telling everyone to wipe the smug ass smiles off their faces, to stop pretending to be his friend, and to get out of his mansion, with several flipping him off. Once everyone leaves, JCM decides to settle business with ACS. ACS reveals the League of Rage hijacked his company's Tapatalk transmitter, and that they plan to use it to vaporize the city's internet waves, which will cause the chemical to spray throughout the city, making the city tear itself apart, with people going into mass hysteria, violence, panic, and chaos. He explains the chemical was extracted from a flower that grew in his garden by CDCB, which shows people's worst fears. Some of the League members then began to light JCM's mansion on fire, as payback for leaving ACS for dead months ago in his burning home.

JCM gets crushed by a falling piece of burning wood, but he is rescued by OMJ, who manages to push the two of them into the Cameo Cave well, before the fire engulfs them. The League begins to cause hell in SBC City, as they break into prisons, and unleash many cyber criminals, and even raising the bridge. They start to use the Tapatalk transmitter, which vaporizes all of the internet waves, and the chemical begins to fill the air, as ACS wears a gas mask, as do his League members. Gaga hands the antidotes to Wumbo, as she tries to escape from the paparazzi (heh) of rampant criminals, as Cameo Man fights several off. Dragiiin, while walking around the alleys, gets infected by the chemical, and he starts to panic from the blurry visions of the criminals around him, along with Gaga. He tries to shoot her, but gets whacked in the head by Wumbo, and collapses to the ground. Gaga finds a child named Box who is looking for his mother, when suddenly they see CDCB (or Scareotter) riding a horse with his mask on and a scarecrow outfit, after he impaled a cop. He tells them there is nothing to fear but fear itself, and the chemical makes them see a horrifying version with the horse breathing fire. Gaga then zaps CDCB in the face with a taser, as he runs away in panic. Cameo Man finds Gaga and Box, and takes them to a rooftop. He tells Gaga to stay there, and indirectly reveals his true identity to her.

Cameo Man tells Wumbo to drive the Tumblr, and make it destroy the monorail, because ACS is planning to use it to drive to the JCM Enterprises building with the transmitter. Wumbo orders that the bridge is lowered so he can follow the monorail, and Commissioner Teenj gets pissed, asking who authorized this. JCM confronts ACS on the monorail, and they begin to fight. ACS says he warned JCM that compassion was his weakness, but JCM manages to overpower ACS. Wumbo uses the Tumblr to blow up part of the monorail transport, and it starts to come down. JCM says he's not going to kill ACS, but he doesn't have to save him. ACS accepts his fate, as the monorail goes crashing into a warehouse, and he is killed in the rubble.

All the criminals get gathered up, and the chemical is stopped due to the antidote. Cameo Man becomes a public hero, and Gaga meets JCM at his burned mansion. He vows he'll rebuild it brick for brick. Unfortunately, Gaga can't bring herself to love both JCM and Cameo Man. JCM buys a controlling stake at JCM Enterprises, fires Steel, and rehires hilaryfan80, making him head. Wumbo is promoted to Lieutenant, and he uses the Cameo signal to attract JCM. Wumbo mentions that there's been some robberies, and that the criminal has been leaving Total Drama Island character cards at the scene of each crime. JCM goes off to investigate, leading into "The Snark Knight".

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Consider this one not only a new SBCinema, but a proper series finale to SmileBob SaucePants

 

49. The SmileBob SaucePants Movie

Film: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

 

A group of ask me thread lurkers get tickets to watch The SmileBob SaucePants Movie from a pink bedroom closet. The lurkers then sing the "SmileBob SaucePants Theme Song," enter a movie theater, raid it, and sit down to watch the movie.

 

The movie properly begins with an emergency at the Lazy Dog, complete with police, helicopters and news reporters. Suddenly, SmileBob SaucePants, "the manager," arrives in a sleek Equus Bass 770. Old Man Krabs says that it started with a simple order, a Baja Burger with cheese. "When the customer took a bite, no cheese!" Old Man Krabs starts crying, leading SmileBob to slap him. She enters the Lazy Dog and meets a fella named SOF. SmileBob then opens her suitcase, takes out a pair of eyelash curlers, and puts cheese on the Baja Burger. The day is saved, and the crowd starts cheering for SmileBob. Their cheers soon degenerate to the sound of SmileBob's alarm clock, and she wakes up, revealing the opening scene to be a dream.

 

SmileBob is extremely excited, as today is the grand opening of "The Lazy Dog 2," and she is going to be the new manager and prepares herself for the day. Charick JesterPant's dungeon lifts up, and Charick congratulates SmileBob says that to celebrate, they are going to go to "Coldstone's Ice Cream Party Boat." SmileBob and Charick sing the Cold Stone theme song

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TwLOOFvzS4

 

and afterwards, SmileBob goes off to the Lazy Dog. Jelatin envies Old Man Krabs, and states she tried every plan in her cabinet from "A to Y". There are actually 26 letters of the alphabet, and Jelatin does not notice it at first, but Paulie, her computer husband, tells her. Jelatin finds "Plan Z" in the back of the drawer. She thinks it is her best plan yet.

 

She goes outside, only to be stepped on by SmileBob. She pulls Jelatin off her shoe, and asks her if she is going to the 'grand opening ceremony.' Jelatin replies, "No, I am not going to the 'grand opening ceremony'! I'm busy planning to rule the world my pretties :3!” SmileBob does not understand this, wishes Jelatin luck, then runs off again, leaving Jelatin to walk away saying, "Niña estúpida."

 

Meanwhile, Old Man Krabs is preparing the grand opening ceremony of the Lazy Dog 2, which is an exact replica of the original and is located directly next-door to it, the only difference being a giant glowing "2" sign. SmileBob rushes up to the stage to accept her promotion, but Old Man Krabs announces that Clapward is the new manager instead, much to SmileBob's shock. Old Man Krabs tells a heartbroken SmileBob that he is too skeptical she can handle the task, and SmileBob sulks away, saying "I'm ready ... depression." Charick suddenly flies by with a SmileBob banner in her cowgirl hat, and crashes into the set, causing a fire.

 

Later, Jelatin flies towards King Terminoob's castle, as part of "Plan Z". Inside, Terminoob is attempting to punish his royal beard polisher for touching his beard, but his intelligent llama, E.V.I.L.I.N.A., stops him. The brutish and tyrannical king tries to explain to his llama that he must enforce his power as king in order to be respected, and that she will have to do the same when the time comes. He begins to explain the importance of his beard, and as he talks, Jelatin arrives and steals it. Terminoob, who is clean shaven, is horrified to discover that his beard is missing, Jelatin having stolen it.

 

Meanwhile, SmileBob is at Coldstone Ice Cream Party Boat brooding over her loss. Charick arrives thinking SmileBob is the manager, but she was told the truth about being a kid SmileBob starts to leave, but then Charick gets a Oreo Overload, and SmileBob comes back. They begin to eat dozens of Overload burying the waiter (JCM in a cameo) in ice cream continuously saying "cameo". The two become "drunk" from all the ice cream, and SmileBob falls asleep in the restaurant, experiencing hangover-like symptoms the morning afterwards.

 

Meanwhile, Terminoob arrives at the Lazy Dog after receiving evidence planted by Jelatin of Old Man Krabs stealing his beard, which is a note, saying, "I stole your beard. Signed, David".  OMK denies stealing the beard, but a message then plays on the smartphone of a man thanking Old Man Krabs for giving him the beard and saying that he sold it to some guy in Sacremento. This call is actually from Jelatin. Terminoob gets frustrated and plans to burn Old Man Krabs. However, before doing that, Terminoob asks if anyone has anything to say to defend Old Man Krabs, and a "drunken" SmileBob arrives and bad-mouths Old Man Krabs for not giving her the manager job, saying, "I've worked for Old Man Krabs for many years, and always thought he was a great boss. I now realize that he's a great big jerk! I deserved that manager job, but you didn't give it to me because you were skeptical! Well, I am 100 percent female, and this female has something to say to your skepticism!” She blows a long raspberry and then finishes his statement, “There! I think I made my point!" Terminoob burns Old Man Krabs, but Old Man Krabs plunges into a barrel filled with water. Upon realizing the severity of the situation, SmileBob returns to her normal self and stops Terminoob from killing him. E.V.I.L.I.N.A. convinces her father to give SmileBob a chance to prove Old Man Krabs' innocence, and she and Charick agree to travel to the dreaded Sacremento, and return with the beard. Before departing, Old Man Krabs is frozen solid. E.V.I.L.I.N.A., whom Charick develops a crush on, gives SmileBob and Charick a magical jar of Nutella to return home with and that they are amazeballs <3.

 

With six days to retrieve the beard (there were originally ten until King Terminoob and Charick argued it down to six), SmileBob and Charick take the "Lazy Wagon," a car shaped like a Baja Burger. They soon reach a gas station located on the county line, where the hillbilly owners Storm and Person laugh at them, finding the duo and their vehicle gay and retarded.

 

spongebobmoviehillbillylol.gif

 

They tell SmileBob and Charick that they would not last for ten seconds over the county line. When SmileBob and Charick cross the line, Ex immediately steals their car because he is entitled to a sandwich from SmileBob. SmileBob and Charick then realize that they lasted for twelve seconds, and begin laughing at Storm and Person, who are dumbfounded by their idiocy, as they continue on foot.

 

Later, they find their sandwich car parked at the "Chat," a XAT for tough, muscular chatters. SmileBob has Charick distract the chat so she can get the key. Unfortunately, Charick just said, "I have to go to the bathroom, brb" making SmileBob unsuccessful, and getting her hands dirty in the process.  SmileBob heads for the bathroom after an eyelash diversion to wash her hands, and when she uses the soap dispenser, it produces bubbles. SmileBob and Charick begin having a "Tiny Bubbles Party," but one bubble floats over the leader of the "Chat," Jjs who reminds the other XAT patrons of the policy that all "Bubble Blowing Ask Me Threaders" will be severely beaten. Jjs goes on a "Bubble Blowing Ask Me Hunt" by turning on SpongeBob music, where the first person to start singing is determined to be the culprit. SmileBob and Charick struggle not to start singing because no one actually talks about SpongeBob on the SpongeBob XAT, then XAT owner Jjs starts singing it to SmileBob and Charick, causing SmileBob's eyes to water and Charick to start melting, and they are only saved when the ACS Triplets burst out in song. The other chatters begin beating up on ACS, allowing SmileBob and Charick to steal the key amid the confusion and depart.

 

By the following day, Jelatin, with Old Man Krabs incapacitated, obtains the Baja Burger Secret Formula, and begins serving Baja Burgers at the In-N-Out Burger. She stole the formula by sneaking by Old Man Krabs while he was frozen, going into his office, entering the safe code, taking a few selfies to post in the reality image thread, and stealing the formula. Jelatin starts selling Baja Burgers at the In-N-Out Burger, along with free Beatles paraphenalia. She has also learned about SmileBob and Charick are trying to get the beard back and hires a professional mercenary named Sebastian to ensure that SmileBob and Charick do not reach Sacremento. The next day, Clapward sees that everyone is wearing Lennon glasses. After Someone tells him that Jelatin is giving them away free with the Baja burgers, he goes to confront Jelatin. He tells him that Jelatin was the one who stole King Terminoob's beard to get the Baja burgers formula. He decides to report her to King Terminoob, but before he leaves the In-N-Out Burger, Jelatin activates a mind-control device, revealing that the Lennon glasses are actually mind controlling devices. Clapward tries to escape, but the enslaved citizens corner and capture him, taking down the last opposition to Jelatin in Los Angeles and transforms the city into "Jelladelphia".

 

SmileBob and Charick are traveling through a field of skulls, laughing over their victory at the Chat. They see an Ice Cream Stand, but when SmileBob goes to order, the old woman running the stand is revealed as the tongue of a monstrous troll using the Ice Cream Stand as bait. The troll chases SmileBob and Charick, eventually driving off a cliff and getting out of the car just in time. The troll is lured off the edge, and subsequently is eaten by an even larger beast, which is a gigantic sea serpent that appears from the trench. Unable to pass through a monster-filled trench, SmileBob decides to give up and accepts the fact that she and Charick are just children. However, E.V.I.L.I.N.A. arrives and shows them what has happened to Los Angeles while they were gone, and gives them fake mustaches in the form of Nutella, convincing them that they are now women. SmileBob and Charick pass through the trench without fear singing, "Now That We're Wo-Men", but meet up with Sebastian on the other side. He rips off their Nutella mustaches and explains to them that they are not really women, and prepares to kill them by crushing them under his boot. However, before he can do so, a gigantic pair of boots crushes Sebastian, belonging to two monstrous scuba diver known as "The Winchesters," who abducts SmileBob and Charick to the surface.

 

SmileBob and Charick wake up at the old Turntable abandoned and dead. They see Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki making "knick-knacks" from the supernatural, much to their horror, and are soon taken out of the Turntable and put on a table under a heat lamp, and start to dry up. Soon, SmileBob laments that they have failed, and that Los Angeles will remain under Jelatin's mind control, Old Man Krabs will be executed, and they too will die. Charick points out a sign reading "Sacremento: Marine Gifts and Sundries". SmileBob realizes that they are in Sacremento, which is in fact a gift shop. They see the beard, and SmileBob then realizes that they did at least make it to Sacremento, and did pretty well for "a couple of goofballs." They both shed a tear and begin singing the Cold Stone song, just as they shrivel up, they stop, then die. Back in the movie theater, all the lurkers mourn the loss of SmileBob and Charick, but Aya shows up and points out that the movie is not over yet and they continue watching it.  Because she is ‘the Great Aya” the magic of the "golly" slides down a wire into the power outlet, causing it to short-circuit and let out smoke weed 4/20 blaze it, which rises up and activates the sprinkler system, causing all the Supernatural creatures to reanimate. As the supernatural creatures (which includes Lauren Cohan in a pre-Walking Dead cameo) beat up "The Winchesters," SmileBob and Charick grab the beard and carry it out to the beach. There, SmileBob reads the manual of the Jar of Nutella, and Charick accidentally releases it, leaving them stranded on the beach. However, Zac Efron arrives and carries them down the Pacific ocean on his buns and six pack of steel.

 

neighbors.gif

 

On the way back home, the big boot belonging to the same Winchester that kidnapped them, rises up sea, and an angry Sebastian emerges from below it, intent on finishing the job Jelatin gave him and goes after Charick and SmileBob with his wizard wand in hand (much to Zac Efron's discomfort). He corners SmileBob, who attempts to reason with Sebastian (by bribing him with five Coldstone gift cards); Sebastian is uninterested, so SmileBob proceeded to more offers - including glue that sends a stream of glue to Sebastian's eyes, blinding him and making him even angrier.  However, just as he is about to stomp on them with his boot, he ends up being knocked into the ocean by a floating sailboat. As the duo arrive near Los Angeles, King Terminoob is about to execute Old Man Krabs, but is being stalled by E.V.I.L.I.N.A.. Efron opens his pectoral muscles, prepares countdown, and shoots the duo over to Los Angeles at fast speed, where they crash through the roof of the Lazy Dog, the beard deflecting the stencil blast that nearly kills Old Man Krabs, and ends up burning Zac Efron. Unfortunately, that does not stop Jelatin, as she dumps a King-sized In-N-Out Burger mind control device on Terminoob, also putting him under her control. As Jelatin's minions surround the heroes, SmileBob realized that Jelatin didn't care whether OMK should be fried or not she just wanted the power of Los Angeles under her control, having used the theft of the beard to lure Terminoob into the trap, thus she cheated. Jelatin doubts to her to cheating, and she states to her that she is an evil genius and SmileBob is just a kid---a stupid kid. SmileBob makes a speech about being who you are, before transforming with Maddie’s Magical Magic into a rocking moose and breaking out into a bizarre rock version of Bad Company using her Magical Magic Ukulele magic beams to destroy all the brain-control device with.

 

Jelatin is trampled before she can escape, and the cops put her in a little cage and take her away while she is screaming more Spanish. Terminoob reaches an understanding not only with Old Man Krabs, but also with his llama, and thanks SmileBob and Charick. He then turns to leave, but E.V.I.L.I.N.A. reminds him about Old Man Krabs. He unfreezes Old Man Krabs, turning him into the boyfriend of Rachelkipster. Terminoob then reveals that he had his stencil set to "Sweet Wet Dreams Ending". He then turns Old Man Krabs into a Hawaiian again. Clapward suggests to SmileBob that she has learned that she does not really need to be the manager of the Lazy Dog 2, but SmileBob eagerly takes the position anyway. Images shown throughout the end credits shown the sole two differences between the job of manager and fry-cook is that there is a giant hat with the word manager imprinted on it and an extra cent in his paycheck. Nonetheless, SmileBob takes on the role of manager of the Lazy Dog 2 with great pride, as the film signifies the conclusion of the franchise's story.

 

Back in the theater, the usher tells the lurkers to leave the theater so she can clean up the mess they left.

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