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To celebrate our noir event, here's a noir themed episode.

86. Out of the Future

Film: Out of the Past

OWM is hired muscle for “big moderator” Trophy, a former SBC doubloon gambling kingpin that relocated to Discord. OWM arrives in a rural Discord server, looking to hook up with someone from their past. Dman, who is the owner of a gas station, is fishing at a nearby lake with local woman Ooooooofy. OWM sends Dman’s deaf mute employee, Jjs The Kid, to retrieve Dman, then informs Dman that Trophy wants to see him. Though Ooooooofy trusts Dman implicitly, her parents are wary of him, as is Pazza, a local conservation official who has been sweet on Ooooooofy since childhood. Dman reluctantly agrees to meet with Trophy and invites Ooooooofy to join him for the 75 mile drive to Trophy's home. On the way, Dman tells Ooooooofy of a dark episode in his past (in flashback) involving both men and a beautiful but dangerous woman.

Dman's real name is Giraffe. He and former partner Sbl were private investigators on the internet. The pair had been hired at an extremely lucrative rate by the shady but superficially amiable Trophy to find his girlfriend, CakeCup, who had shot him and stole $40,000 before fleeing. Dman is hesitant, sensing Trophy, who claims he is disinterested in the money and wealthy enough, instead is seeking revenge rather than a reconciliation. Trophy assures Dman he just wants her back, and will not harm her, but, having an impulsive disregard for Sbl, tells Dman he wants him to handle the case alone. On their way out in the elevator Sbl insists the payday still be split 50-50 according to their standing agreement, and Dman agrees. Cake's maid tells Dman she helped her pack for a “tropical“ climate, and mentions something about inoculations, but seeks to throw him off by dissembling that she has gone to Robot Pirate Island. Dman guesses The Industrial Park instead, since shots were not needed for Robot Pirate Island but still were to visit that country in those days. He follows her trail before staking her out, and eventually striking up an acquaintance. She slowly but successfully seduces a willing Dman, admitting she shot Trophy but denying she took his money. Influenced with desire, Dman proposes the two of them go on the run together. Cake warns him Trophy won’t forget, which Dman tries to dismiss with the wisecrack that the two of them will send him a postcard greeting every Christmas.

Dman proposes they leave the next morning for somewhere south by sea, and Cake agrees to meet him at his hotel. While packing, he is surprised by the arrival of Trophy and OWM, checking up on his lack of progress. Dman lies that Cake slipped past him and is on a steamer going south. Trophy instructs Dman to keep looking for her. Dman overreacts and tells Trophy he’s finished both with the case and their relationship, to which Trophy responds threateningly, “I fire people. Nobody quits me.“ After a close call in the hotel cocktail lounge, Trophy departs. The fugitive couple instead flees north by freighter to Atlantis. They live in there as inconspicuously as possible initially, but are spotted at an art show by Sbl, now working for Trophy. Dman and Cake split up to shake him, with Dman conspicuously heading to Spin-offs. When he is confident he has given Sbl the slip, Dman arranges to meet Cake at a cabin in the Kelp Forest, only to find that Sbl had been following her instead. When Sbl demands the full $10,000 originally promised the pair by Trophy to keep quiet, the two men brawl. Cake suddenly shoots Sbl dead. Dman is not merely startled but appalled, and lets her know that. He turns back towards Sbl and she flees, leaving him to bury the body. In her hast, some of her purse contents had spilled out on a table, including her bank book. Dman opens it to reveal a single deposit, $40,000. Dman finishes his confession to Ooooooofy just as they reach Trophy’s palatial #sports estate, ending the flashback.

Ooooooofy drops him off, and Dman is greeted with great bonhomie and apparent forgiveness by a cheerful Trophy, who tells him he has a job only Dman can handle, but he instinctively declines. Over breakfast, Dman is startled when Cake appears. Trophy dismissively yet with seeming graciousness tells them that they are both “back in the fold“, indicating to Dman the job is not one that he can turn down. Trying to sugar-coat the situation, he indicates it’s the only way to square things between them. A crooked Atlantis lawyer, RDSP, has helped Trophy dodge $1,000,000 in doubloon taxes, but now is blackmailing him for $200,000 or he will turn the incriminating records over to the SBC Treasury. Trophy wants Dman to recover them, and sends him on the afternoon train to Atlantis. There, Dman meets RDSP’s secretary, JCM in a cameo, who explains the plan. Dman begins to suspect he is being framed. That night she introduces him to RDSP, who has been invited, Dman deduces, to leave his fingerprints on a glass. The couple leaves, as Dman trails Carson, then returns and finds RDSP dead. Knowing he will be blamed, he hides the body to throw off those plotting against him. Returning to JCM’s apartment, he entraps Cake and wrings out of her that she gave Trophy a signed affidavit stating that Dman killed Sbl. Dman manages to retrieve the doubloon tax papers from some of Trophy’s thugs and mails them to a safe location, substituting a local phonebook in the briefcase to throw off Trophy‘s henchmen when he is captured. He tells them he will only deal with Trophy and flees, only to find him himself the focus of a police dragnet for an accused double murderer.

Dman returns to the Discord server. Unbeknownst to Trophy, Cake has ordered OWM to trail Jjs The Kid so he can find and kill Dman. Jjs drives to a steep, narrow canyon where Dman is hiding. Jjs spots OWM aiming a pistol at Dman and quickly hooks him with a fishing line, causing OWM to lose his balance and fall to his death. Dman goes back to Trophy's mansion and tells him of Cake's double-cross and OWM's death. He offers that the death of OWM, RDSP’s actual murderer, can be made to look like a guilt-ridden suicide, removing Dman from that frame-up. Furthermore, he will return the business records to Trophy if he destroys Cake's affidavit and hands her over to the police for Sbl's death. Trophy takes the offer, and Dman believes he has worked his way out of Cake's web.

Dman makes a quick visit to Ooooooofy, then returns to Tahoe to discover that Cake has killed Trophy. She gives Dman the choice of running away with her and a satchel of Trophy's money, or taking the blame for all three murders. He agrees to go with her, but phones the police while she is upstairs packing. Driving up to a police roadblock, Cake realizes that Dman has betrayed her and shoots him dead. She then fires at the police, who fatally shoot her. When the news reaches Discord, Pazza offers to take Ooooooofy away. Ooooooofy asks Jjs if Dman had been planning to run away with Cake. Wanting to free Ooooooofy, Jjs lies and nods his head. Ooooooofy returns to Pazza and she drives off with him, as Jjs smiles and salutes Dman’s name on the station's sign.

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You know what I've noticed in these stories? That I don't appear in MORE of them, and there hasn't been a parody of "Yellow Submarine" yet! How about you fix both of those problems in your next story submission? It would be really cool if you wanted to! Enough said, true believer!

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Hey, I'm back with more too!

87. The Guy Falls AKA A Really Funny Movie

Film: Uncut Gems

In 2015, a SpongeCraftian miner is left injured during an excavation, but his sacrifice is proven to be well worth the pain of a fractured leg as the other miners manage to unearth a rare material known only as the "Fat Dora". Two years later, we are introduced to our unlikely hero; an addict for bad ideas and bad decisions by the name of Newleaffan, who owns and operates the Revenge Store (yes, this was an actual thing here) in Kesano Mall. Newleaffan struggles to pay off several outstanding debts that he has accumulated with all his bad ideas throughout the years from running shady art contests with prizes that were way out of his budget to failed spinoffs to even flat-out stealing other people's art and claiming them as his own. One of these debts includes the 100,000 doubloons that he owes to Renegade, his loan shark brother-in-law (who also happens to run his own content creation production company). Newleaffan's domestic life is split between Someone, his estranged wife who has all the talent in the relationship, and his girlfriend DarknessDG, a Revenge Store employee.

ZaidCatDog, Newleaffan's business associate (as well as being the owner of Kesano Mall), brings A-list content creator JCM (in an extended cameo) to the Revenge Store. JCM browses the Revenge Store's wares, looking for newer and more innovative ways to kill OMJ in JCMovies. While he's there, Newleaffan's latest order arrives; the Fat Dora in all her childhood obese glory. They take turns admiring the piece, each of them finding plenty of inspiration to be productive as they each stare not just into her belly, but into the entire universe itself. JCM becomes obsessed with the Fat Dora, taking it with him to help with his content output later that night. Newleaffan reluctantly agrees, but he is given JCM's one of a kind Mr Dr Professor Patrick badge as collateral.

After JCM leaves to get back to his studio, Newleaffan gets the good idea to pawn off the badge and uses the money gained from it to place a six-way parlay on JCM's JCMovies episode performing extraordinarily well in that night's ratings on the spongeboard, which it does. Newleaffan is expecting to net 600,000 doubloons from his bet, but he is ambushed at his daughter's, That Excited SpongeKid's, school play by Renegade and his associates 4EverGreen and The Appetizer. Renegade reveals that he placed a stop on Newleaffan's bet as it was made with doubloons that are owed to him. 4EverGreen and Appetizer then strip Newleaffan of his pride and clothes and locks him in the trunk of his car, forcing him to call Someone for help, who is none too pleased by these latest developments.

Newleaffan later meets Zaid at an SBC Music Party hosted by up and coming musician, Young Nug, in order to retrieve the Fat Dora. Zaid informs him that JCM still has the Fat Dora, which angers Newleaffan so much that he even considers using his store to get revenge on him at one point. However, Newleaffan discovers DarknessDG and Young Nug reading Doody Era together (with Nug threatening her with death if she doesn't). Newleaffan gets into a fight with Nug, coming out of it about as destroyed as you would already expect. Feeling smeckledorfed, Newleaffan demands that DarknessDG move out of their apartment that she pays majority of the rent for. After hosting a sloppily put-together and awkward SBC "The Price Will Be Right" game which (like many of his past ventures) wasn't even given the go-ahead by the staff, Someone rejects Newlwaffan's offer to give their marriage a second chance.

JCM returns the Fat Dora before the auction and offers to pay Newleaffan 175,000 doubloons for it. Newleaffan refuses, however, having previously appraised it on "The Price Will Be Right" for a much larger price tag. Just before the auction starts, Newleaffan discovers the Fat Dora has been appraised for significantly less than his original estimate of 1 million doubloons. Newleaffan convinces his father-in-law, Wumbo, to bid on the Fat Dora in order to drive up the price, but his plan backfires when JCM doesn't make a play to top Wumbo's final bid. Wumbo gives the Fat Dora back to Newleaffan and makes it his life's mission to lock and trash every one of Newleaffan's bright ideas going forward. Renegade, 4EverGreen and Appetizer arrive shortly afterward and assault Newleaffan behind the auction house. Newleaffan returns to the Revenge Store, bloody and in tears. DarknessDG sells him some weed and they reconcile.

Newleaffan learns from Zaid that JCM is still willing to purchase the Fat Dora. They arrange a meeting, with JCM agreeing to come to the Revenge Store to pay Newleaffan in cash. Renegade, 4EverGreen and Appetizer arrive at the Revenge Store right before JCM leaves with the Fat Dora in his possession, and Newleafan tells DarknessDG to bet the cash on a three-way parlay on JCM having a strong performance in that night's spongeboard rankings and skip rope with it. DarknessDG manages to escape the store with the cash in hand as Ren and his boys confront Newleaffan in his office and threaten him.

DarknessDG travels by roflcopter to Glove World, where she places the bet for him. Ren is made aware of Newleaffan's play and demands him to get Darkness to stop the bet, but Newleaffan refuses to have her cancel it. Ren and his boys attempt to leave in order to pursue her, but Newleaffan locks them in between the Revenge Store's two security doors. Newleaffan turns on the tv to tune into the newest episode of Silly Adventures of Patrick Star. 4EverGreen stubbornly refuses to watch it, but being trapped in a confined space with nothing else to do for hours on end has left him feeling pretty bored and desperate, only agreeing to watch it as an absolute last resort.

JCM's newest Silly Adventures episode blows the rest of the competition away at the top of that night's spongeboard, winning Newleaffan 1.2 million doubloons. Newleaffan joyously frees the Reneverse crew from their entrapment and they all celebrate the big win. 4EverGreen even offers to buy something from the Revenge Store to commemorate the moment. 4Ever shoots Newleaffan in the face, wanting revenge for not being more prominently featured in this series as a whole. Newleaffan is killed instantly, his body falling to the ground. 

Ren reprimands 4Ever for his hasty and unnecessary actions before recommending that he listen to The Cramps' debut album, "Songs The Lord Taught Us". 4Ever shoots Ren dead, refusing to listen to any Christian music that isn't by Bob Dylan or Van Morrison. DarknessDG is shown leaving Glove World with Newleaffan's winnings. 4EverGreen strong arms The Appetizer into looting what they can from the Revenge Store in order to fund a Yellow Submarine parody. They flee before the police arrives. The camera zooms in closer to Newleaffan's face, descending deeper into the bullet hole as the credits roll.


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88. OBAB the Hedgehog

Film: Sonic the Hedgehog 

OBAB, an extraterrestrial blue hedgehog who can run at supersonic speeds, finds himself sought after by a tribe of echidnas or his power. His guardian, Patty Rose, gives him a bag of rings that can create portals to other planets, using one to send him to Earth while she protects him from the echidnas, and also gives OBAB a map to a planet filled with magic Mario mushrooms to use if he finds trouble on Earth. Ten years later, OBAB enjoys a secret life near the town of Green Hills but longs to make friends. He idolizes the local sheriff, Fred Rechid, and his veterinarian wife, Cake, unaware the pair are planning to relocate to Sega City soon, as Fred has been hired by the Sega Police Department. OBAB also messes around with some other residents of Green Hills, including JCM in a cameo who is the town's nutty conspiracy theorist and trying to prove OBAB's existence.

One night, OBAB becomes upset over his loneliness when playing baseball by himself, and runs at supersonic speed as a result, inadvertently triggering an electromagnetic pulse that knocks out power across the Pacific Northwest. Roboticist and scientific genius Dr. Steel is enlisted by the US Department of Defense to uncover the source of the outage, putting on his best Jim Carrey impression. Steel discovers and tracks OBAB, who hides in the Fred’s shed. Fred discovers OBAB and accidentally shoots him with a tranquilizer, causing him to send his bag of rings through a portal to San Francisco. Fred reluctantly agrees to help OBAB before Steel arrives at the Fred’s house and the two flee. As the pair evade Steel, who labels Fred a domestic terrorist, they slowly bond, with Fred learning about OBAB's desire for a real friend.

Steel comes across one of OBAB's quills, discovering the power in it has the potential to fuel his robots, and becomes obsessed with capturing OBAB. As he tracks them down, Fred discusses his plans to leave Green Hills, which OBAB disapproves of. Shortly after defeating a robot sent by Steel, an explosion injures OBAB. Arriving at San Francisco, Fred brings him to Cake, who revives him. While Fred explains about their situation to Cake, OBAB receives a new pair of sneakers from Cake's niece. The group heads to the Pingas Pyramid, where OBAB's bag of rings landed, and recover them. Steel arrives in a hovercraft and attacks them, forcing OBAB to use a ring to send Fred and Cake back to Green Hills.

OBAB flees from Steel, who uses the power of OBAB's quill to match his speed. The two engage in a chase across the world, ultimately returning to Green Hills. Steel incapacitates OBAB, but Fred and the other townsfolk intervene, allowing OBAB to regain his strength and reclaim his lost energy. Overcoming Steel, OBAB defeats him by sending him to the mushroom planet. Following the incident, Fred and Cake decide to stay in Green Hills and let OBAB live with them. The US government erases all evidence of the events, including records of Steel's existence. Meanwhile, an insane Steel, still in possession of OBAB's quill, begins plotting his revenge.

In a mid-credits scene, Winter, an extraterrestrial fox, emerges from a ring portal in search of OBAB. And for some reason, this film will be hailed and circlejerked as "the greatest video game movie ever" despite not really being all that great.

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89. The DeVito

Film: The Lorax (2012)

Young lad Mythix lives in Sneedville, a walled city where everything is artificially made memes, with no living memes. Mythix has a crush on meme environmentalist That Excited SpongeKid, and decides to impress her with a "real meme". His grandmother CF tells him the legend of Big Chungus, who knows what happened to the memes. Leaving Sneedville in search of Big Chungus, Mythix discovers that the outside world is a barren, contaminated wasteland. He finds Big Chungus, who agrees to tell him the story of the memes over multiple visits. Returning home, Mythix encounters Sneedville's greedy mayor, OWM, whose company sells bottled reddit gold to the polluted city. Explaining that memes, and the oxygen they produce freely, pose a threat to his business, OWM pressures Mythix to stay in town, but Mythix continues to visit Big Chungus.

Big Chungus recounts how, as a young wabbit, he arrived in a lush forest of animals and reddit memes. Cutting down a meme, he was confronted by Danny DeVito, the magical guardian of the forest who "speaks for the memes". After attempting to force Big Chungus out, Danny DeVito convinced him not to harm any more memes. Using the Reddit meme, Big Changes created the “Sneed", a piece of meme with multiple uses, which became a major success. His lazy relatives persuaded him to resume chopping down memes to mass-produce Sneeds, leading to enormous profits but deforestation and pollution. After harvesting the last Reddit meme, Big Chungus was ruined, abandoned by his family, and became a dead meme. Big Chungus was left heartbroken and unbearably guilty for destroying the forest. With the region uninhabitable, Danny DeVito sent the animals away to find a new place to live and disappeared into the sky, leaving a single word on a pile of rocks: “Unless".

Big Chungus gives Mythix the last reddit seed in hopes he can regrow the forest and make others care about memes. Mythix returns home to plant the seed, which is spotted by OWM’s city-wide surveillance. Enlisting the help of SpongeKid and his family, Mythix is pursued by OWM to the center of town. OWM rallies the citizens against Mythix, telling them that memes are dangerous and filthy, but Mythix uses an earthmover to knock down a section of the city wall, revealing the environmental destruction outside. Inspired by Mythix's conviction (as though a part of Mr. DeVito was within him), the crowd turns on OWM, and the seed is finally planted. While doing so, the townsfolk sing a magical song called Let It Grow, and even JCM in a cameo, the OWM delivery guy, gets into the song. Time passes and the land begins to recover; new memes sprout, animals return, and the now-elderly Big Chungus reunites with Danny DeVito.

The film ends with a totally real quote from Dr. Seuss: “Wholesome 100 Reddit moment.”

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Well, let's see how I did with this one since after...I believe it's 7 years since my last guest write for SBCinema:


90. Guardians of the Community

Film: Guardians of the Galaxy

In the year 2011, a young man named Travis is in the waiting room, listening to his Bikini Top Season 1 mixtape on his iPod (“Mama Who Bore Me” as sung by Lea Michele is playing) when was called out to see his “wife” Sara on her death bed. Sara gives Travis a present as they see each other for one last time. Witnessing her death, Travis then runs outside before being taken by a spaceship. Nine years have now passed as Travis, a.k.a. that70sguy, is shown on the Forumotion planet, searching around for an orb while listening to his personal mixtape (“Don’t Trust Me” by 3OH13 plays during said scene). 70s manages to escape with the orb after confronting a hunter from a ResetEra army. (“Forever Yong” by Youth Group plays as 70s is inside his ship) 70s’s accomplice Jjs, leader of the Managers, contacts him, telling 70s to give the orb to him. 70s has plans of his own on what to do with the orb and so betrays him while Jjs puts a bounty on his head.

On the ResetEra warship, the hunter reports back to his leader that 70s has the orb. The leader, Hayden the Accuser, who desires the orb so he could exchange it to Thanos to destroy the planet of SBC and then create one anew in the form of another ResetEra planet, decides to send in Katie, a vampire who was trained under his adoptive father Thanos to be his assassin, volunteers to go after the orb. 70s arrives on the SBC planet, to have a broker (JCM in a cameo) help explain to him what it is due to Hayden wanting the particular object. After being promptly kicked out of the shop due to mention of Hayden’s name, 70s is then ambushed by Katie and as well as by two bounty hunters named Renegade, a cybernetically modified unicorn, and G4ryoot, a sentient tree with a face shaped like Dug from the Pixar film Up who could only say “balls itch.” The skirmish then leads to up to 70s, Katie, Ren, and G4ryoot being arrested by Invision HQ and sent to a prison known as the Dutchman’s Shipyard. (“Beat Control” by Tilly and the Wall plays during 70s’s moments at the space prison)

Katie attracts attention from the other prison mates due to her being the adopted daughter of Thanos, including Hawk the Destroyer, who wants to avenge against Hayden for the death of his fellows on his former planet TF51. Katie then reassures to Hawk that she has no relation to Hayden and doesn’t intend to deceive him. Further on, 70s convinces to Hawk that Katie could bring Hayden to him due to her ties with him. After admitting to crossing Hayden so that the orb could not land in his hands, Katie then composes a plan to sell the mysterious orb to a collector named WhoBob, with 70s, Ren, and G4ryoot agreeing to split the reward. Renegade crafts up an escape plan from the Shipyard, which succeeds. Hawk decides to join in on the escape, as joining forces with Katie and the others would allow for him to confront and defeat Hayden thereafter. At the internet sanctuary, Hayden reports to Thanos about Katie being a traitor and so Thanos assigns Hayden to take care of the situation and take the orb.

The members on the run escape the Shipyard, after 70s had to turn back for a moment to retrieve his iPod. (“Shut Up and Drive” by Rihanna plays during said escape) The collective settle inside 70s’s own ship, which he had named Sivan, and they each start getting to know each other more before their scheduled appointment with the collector. (“Fireflies” by Owl City plays as the ship reaches the collector’s planet) Hawk, Ren, and G4ryoot bond with a game of Cards Against Humanity and subsequently getting drunk, 70s and Katie bond over their love of vampires and with music, by way of 70s giving her a listen to his mixtape and offering her to dance with him, which she declines. (“Our Song” by Taylor Swift plays while 70s tells Katie about the legend of Footloose) Eventually, the collector’s assistant arrives near the Sivan ship to guide the group of members to meet him. Hawk, still drunk, calls out for Hayden the Accuser.

The group of members then meet up with the collector, WhoBob, who opens up the orb to reveal the Infinity Post inside of it, further explaining to the members that it contains immeasurable power that could be used as a weapon to destroy planets and as well as people except the most powerful beings, and that there are more Infinity Posts out there. The collector’s assistant, DarknessDG, touches the Infinity Post. Due to its power, it ends up poisoning her and triggers an explosion within the collector’s keep. The members leave WhoBob’s destroyed gallery with the orb and the Infinity Post intact, but are then confronted by Hayden and his army. 70s, Katie, and Ren take off in their own ships while Hayden’s crew, and as well as Thanos’s second adoptive daughter, More, tail them while Hawk takes on Hayden himself. He ends up being defeated by the powers of ResetEra thread spams invested in Hayden.

Katie’s ship is blown up by More, who then takes the orb containing the Infinity Post from her. 70s allows himself and Katie to get captured by Jjs and his troupe as he contacts him on his whereabouts before leaving his Sivan ship to save Katie by giving her his helmet. Inside Jjs’s own ship, he was about to ban 70s for having deceived him until 70s offers to give him the MacGuffin if he manages to get it back from Hayden and his army. Not long after, Hawk, Ren, and G4ryoot pilot the Sivan, making their way into Jjs’s ship to save 70s. The trio threatens to blow up Jjs’ ship with one of Ren’s weapons before 70s persuades them about the compromise he made with Jjs. Hayden the Accuser, meanwhile, cuts his deal with Thanos now that he has one of the Infinity Posts and sets to destroy SBC himself.

70s, back on-board the Sivan alongside Katie, Hawk, Ren, and G4ryoot, start devising a plan to stop Hayden from using the powers of the Infinity Post to destroy the SBC planet, whilst issuing Invision HQ a warning about Hayden’s arrival. (“Gives You Hell” by All-American Rejects plays during the team’s planning) Ren plans to blow a hole inside of Hayden’s ship, the Dark Shellder, so he and the others can board it while Katie plans to cut the security system and then blast Hayden with a ban-cannon made by Ren. The first phase of the plan succeeds and the members board the Dark Shellder, before Ren then aides Jjs and the Managers to defend the SBC planet from the ResetEra army. While 70s, Hawk, and G4ryoot make their way to the bridge of the ship, Katie confronts More. She manages to defeat More, who then makes her escape. Taking notice of the infiltration, Hayden orders his ship to crash into the SBC planet.

The members easily get past the bridge to face Hayden, but they are outmatched by him until Ren crashes the Sivan into the Dark Shellder. As the ship is about to crash land into the SBC planet, G4ryoot shields 70s, Katie, Ren, and Hawk, sacrificing his life in the process, and then uttering his final words “Our balls itch.” G4ryoot is reduced to a pile of branches. Hayden survives the crash due to the Infinity Post’s power. As Hayden raised his warhammer, preparing to destroy the SBC planet, 70s stops him by challenging him to a dance-off (with “Love Song” by Sara Bareilles playing), in order to distract him so he could release the Infinity Post from Hayden’s weapon. Ren and Hawk destroy the warhammer while 70s grabs hold of the Infinity Post, which in turn makes him react in the similar way as to what happened to WhoBob’s assistant. Katie then advises 70s to hold her hand. Hawk and Ren do the same, letting the power of the Infinity Stone spread to them, using the power to defeat Hayden.

In the end of the battle, Ren collects G4ryoot’s remains while 70s is about to face Jjs once again about the deal they made with the orb. 70s gives Jjs the orb without hesitation. However, it is later revealed that he had switched the orbs while the one with the Infinity Post is given to Invision HQ. When giving them the artifact, 70s then learns that he is half human and beholds the unusual genes that allowed for him to hold onto the Infinity Post without dying.

A celebration is held on Jjs’ ship. He finds out that the orb was a fake, but is smiling nonetheless. The group of members are now officially known as the Guardians of the Community to cap it all off…but not without a potential sequel hook (AN: if I feel I’m up for it, of course) where 70s opens up Sara’s gift, revealed to be a Bikini Top Season 2 mixtape (“You Found Me” by The Fray plays during this scene). 70s, who isn’t amused to have been given a gift relating to a spin-off that he is no longer proud of, moves past his thoughts on the days of old to focus on what to do now as leader of the Guardians. Ren is also shown with a planting pot containing a stick that used to be G4ryoot. In a post-credits scene, Baby G4ryoot is seen dancing to “1999” by Big K.R.I.T..


Guardians of the Community Awesome Mix Vol. 1:


1. "Beat Control" - Tilly and the Wall
2. "Forever Young" - Youth Group
3. "Fireflies" - Owl City
4. "Our Song" - Taylor Swift
5. "Mama Who Bore Me" - Lea Michele
6. "Don't Trust Me" - 3OH!3
7. "Gives You Hell" - All-American Rejects
8. "Shut Up and Drive" - Rihanna
9. "Love Song" - Sara Bareilles
10. "You Found Me" - The Fray


Edited by Steel Sponge
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91. My Little SBC: The Movie

Film: My Little Pony: The Movie


The ponies of SBCquestria prepare for their first All-Nighter Festival overseen by Princess Cha in Discordlot. The festivities are interrupted by an invasion of monsters by the unicorn Tempest Mothra, who is under orders from the Storm King to capture SBCquestria’s princess for him to harness their magic in exchange for restoring her broken horn. Cha escapes being petrified by Tempest Mothra’s magical orbs after Princess Katniss gives Princess Katie incomplete instructions to seek help from “the queen of the narwhals” beyond SBCquestria. Joined by her friends Steel, Hawk, SOF, Homie, DarknesDG and Jjs, Cha sets out to find the “narwhals”.


Cha’s group travel to the desert city of Redditown, where a feline con artist named NewLeafFan offers to escort them, secretly intending to sell them to settle a debt. As NLF began to develop a genuine friendship with them, Cha discovers an atlas that reveals the “narwhals” to be sea unicorns, exposing NLF’s treachery. When Tempest Mothra arrives in pursuit of Cha, the group evades her aboard a delivery airship run by birdlike pirates (one of the members being JCM in a cameo), whom Hawk persuades to take them to the narwhals’ kingdom on Mount Horn. In a moment over-excitement, Hawk performs a Sonic Rainboom that inadvertently gives their location away to Tempest Mothra, forcing the group to reach Mount Horn in a makeshift hot air balloon.


While exploring the narwhals’ deserted kingdom, the ponies are saved from drowning in an underwater cavern by the sea pony Princess SG, who leads them to her undersea home of Seaquestria. SG reveals her kind to be sea unicorns, transformed by a magic pearl used by her father Wumbo, to hide from the Storm King. Cha desperately attempts to steal it while letting her friends unknowingly distracts the sea pony. Her plans backfires when she triggers an alarm before SOF persuade Wumbo to give them a pearl, resulting in the entire group getting banished to the surface. After being abandoned by her friends over this, Cha is kidnapped by Mothra, who gains her sympathy upon revealing how the loss of her as a filly after an Ursa minor attack destabilized her magic and caused her own friends to stun her. Meanwhile, Jjs alerts the ponies to Cha’s capture, and they returns to Discordlot to rescue her with the help of NLF, the pirates and SG.


In Discordlot, Mothra delivers Cha to the Storm King, who absorbed the princesses’ magic to empower his mystical staff of Miraculous and conjure a powerful storm against Cha’s friends, betraying Mothra as well. Cha saves Mothra and reconciles with her friends, who helps her takes the staff and the storm. The Storm King’s body falls and shatters, while the group uses the staff to restore the damaged city. The All-Nighter Festival resumes, and the ponies celebrate with all the allies Cha’s group have made on their on their adventures. Encouraged by Cha, Mothra joins in by producing a fireworks display with her broken horn, and happily accepts the group’s friendship.


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Here's a special Halloween (or Christmas, or both) SBCinema for the season.

92. The Nightmare Before Snowcember Ball

Film: The Nightmare Before Christmas

Octerror Town is a fantasy world filled with various monsters and supernatural beings associated with the holiday. Jjs Skellington, the "Pumpkin King" and leader of the town, leads them in organizing the annual Halloween celebrations for an event known as Octerror Fest. However, privately Jjs has grown weary of the same routine year after year and wants something new. Wandering in the woods the morning after Octerror Fest, he stumbles across seven trees containing doors leading to towns representing various holidays, and opens a portal to Snowcember Town. Awed by the unfamiliar holiday, Jjs returns to Octerror Town to show the residents his findings, but they fail to grasp the idea of Christmas and compare everything to their ideas of Halloween, although they do relate to one Snowcember Town character; a red lobster-like king who flies at night named “OMJ Claws”. Jjs sequesters himself in his tower to study Christmas and find a way to rationally explain it, but cannot. He ultimately decides that it's unfair for Snowcember Town alone to enjoy the holiday and announces that he and the citizens of Octerror Town will take over Christmas this year.

Jjs assigns the citizens of Octerror Town Christmas-themed jobs, including singing carols, making presents, and building a sleigh to be pulled by skeletal reindeer. WhoBob, a beautiful rag doll that is secretly in love with Jjs, experiences a vision that their efforts will end in disaster, but Jjs dismisses this and assigns him the task of sewing him a red coat to wear. He also tasks Dman, NegiSpongie and JCM in a cameo, a trio of mischievous trick-treating children, to abduct OMJ Claus and bring him back to Octerror Town. Jjs tells OMJ he will be bringing Christmas to the world in his place this year. Jjs orders the trio to keep OMJ safe, but the children instead deliver OMJ to NightmareFan17, a gambling-addicted bogeyman, who plots to play a game with OMJ's life at stake. WhoBob attempts to rescue OMJ so he can stop Jjs, but NightmareFan captures him as well.

Jjs departs to deliver presents to the world, but the Halloween-styled gifts terrify and attack the populace. While the media sends word via radio about the OMJ-impostor, the military takes action and shoots down Jjs, causing him to crash in a cemetery. While the devastated residents of Octerror Town think he's been blown up and killed, Jjs has survived, and while he bemoans the disaster he has made of Christmas, he finds he enjoyed the experience of scaring the children nonetheless, reigniting his love of Halloween. But first, he realizes he must take action to fix his mess. Jjs returns to Octerror Town and finds NightmareFan's lair. NightmareFan tries to kill Jjs, but Jjs rips apart the thread holding his cloth form together, revealing a massive pile of bugs that fall into NightmareFan's cauldron, killing him. Jjs apologizes to OMJ for his actions and OMJ, while still angry at Jjs for ruining Christmas and not listening to WhoBob's warnings, assures him that he can fix things and returns to Snowcember Town.

As OMJ replaces the Halloween-style presents with genuine ones, the townspeople of Octerror Town celebrate Jjs's survival and return. OMJ then visits Octerror Town and brings them a snowfall for the residents to play with, which in a way, fulfills Jjs's original dream. As he flies away, OMJ shouts out, "Happy Halloween!" and Jjs replies by shouting, "Merry Christmas!". In the graveyard, Jjs and WhoBob declare their love for each other.

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