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63. The Snark Knight Rises
Movie: The Dark Knight Rises

It has been eight years since the events of The Snark Knight. Cameo Man is now a wanted criminal, and Dylan has been deified for his stand against organized crime, leading to the passage of the Dyl Bill, which gave the police extra tools and effectively wiped out the mob in SBC City. Despite the success of the law, Commissioner Wumbo feels guilty about lying to everyone about Dylan and plans to tell the truth once and for all in a resignation speech at the Dyl Bill Festivil celebrating the anniversery of the bill's passing. Wumbo takes the written speech out, but looking at the famous faces in the crowd, he chickens out and stuffs it back into his pocket, saying one or two words in praise of the late loony district attorney instead. One famous face that noticably isn't at the festival is JCM, who hasn't appeared in public for years.

JCM is in his mansion, getting ready to eat a gourmet dinner of tacos and more tacos, when the doorbell rings. JCM asks his butler OMJ to get it, but OMJ is too busy watching WWE Raw. JCM begrudgingly gets the door himself, but nobody's there. He returns to the kitchen and realizes that his tacos are missing. He looks out a window to find the taco thief, a young woman in a leather jumpsuit with a bag full of JCM's luscious tacos, driving away. JCM, super pissed that she ruined his Mexican Monday, writes down her license plate number and calls the cops. Wumbo, in desperate need a diversion, takes a rookie police officer named ClassicNickelodeon Fan with him to hunt the taco thief down.

The thief meets Person, JCM's business rival, at a bar. Person asks her what he should call her, and she says "Katwoman". Person says that's a stupid name. Katwoman rolls her eyes and gives Person one of the tacos she stole from JCM's kitchen. Person dusts the taco for fingerprints and nods approvingly. Katwoman asks for her side of the deal, and Person tells her she's not getting it because his men are going to kill her because of her dumb name, and also he doesn't want any loose ends, but mostly because of her dumb name. Katwoman tells Person to screw off. Two very large men appear on both sides of Katwoman with guns pointed at her, and Katwoman gulps.

Before the men can shoot her, though, Wumbo and CNF run into the bar with their own guns drawn, telling Katwoman to drop the tacos. Person's men shoot at the cops screaming that they saw Katwoman first, and the cops shoot back at them. Katwoman uses the confusion as an opportunity to escape, and Person's men, running out of bullets, flee the bar as well. Wumbo chases the men while CNF chases Katwoman. The men lead Wumbo into the sewers, and after a minute or two, he loses them. Wumbo stops to catch his breath, and suddenly, everything goes black.

CNF follows Katwoman down an empty street, and she turns into an alley. When CNF turns into the same alley, Katwoman is gone. As CNF walks out of the alley dejectedly, Katwoman, taco in hand, watches him from the top of an adjacent building. She eats the taco, grabs the rest, and heads home. Back in the sewers, a group of turtles are being trained by a giant rat, but nobody cares about that. In another part of the sewers, Wumbo is regaining consciousness at the feet of the evil mercenary Bl4ze, whose minions captured him in the hope they'd get a reward for it. Bl4ze orders the minions to search him, and after a few seconds, they give Bl4ze Wumbo's written speech, which he reads with interest. He then kills the minions for bringing a cop to his part of the sewers, and as Bl4ze is going on his murderfest, Wumbo rolls into flowing water leading out of the sewer.

Bl4ze orders one of the minions to go after Wumbo, but then he remembers he killed all the minions. He takes out a cell phone to call one of his people on the surface, but his cell phone is at 1% and warning him it's about to die. Bl4ze tells the cell phone that once SBC City is in ashes, then it will have his permission to die. It dies anyway. Wumbo falls into a drainage basin, where CNF happens to be stone skipping. CNF pulls Wumbo out of the water and takes him to a hospital. Wumbo tells CNF everything that happened, and CNF understands what he must do. He goes to JCM's mansion, and OMJ does answer the door this time. CNF says it's about the taco thief, and OMJ lets him in. Once he's alone with JCM in his study, CNF reveals that the taco thief got away but that there's somebody even more dangerous out there who only one man can stop. A Cameo Man. A cameo by JCM.

JCM is shocked to learn CNF knows his secret identity, but CNF says it wasn't hard to figure out, considering JCM is the only person in the city who can afford Cameo Man's swag. JCM says he's retired then tells OMJ to escort CNF out. That night, JCM researches Bl4ze out of curiousity, and Bl4ze had apparently hijacked a plane in a story that strangely mirrors Con Air. JCM realizes that Bl4ze is not someone to be taken lightly and muses getting back in the game. He reunites with hilaryfan80 the next day, and hilaryfan80 is eager to show JCM his newest invention: The Cameo-Copter, a helicopter that can turn into a car that can turn back into a helicopter. JCM resists the temptation to try it out, reminding hilaryfan80 he's retired.

That night, JCM goes to a Xat party, greeted by the gasps and whispers of people who hadn't seen him in years. JCM notices a familiar face trying to sneak out, and he stops her and asks her what her name is. She says it's none of his business, and JCM responds that he already knows her name is Katnisslovestacos and that she loved his tacos so much that she swiped them while he wasn't looking. He then offers to dance with her, and she declines, saying she doesn't dance with people who accuse her of grand theft taco. Before she walks away, she tells him there's a storm coming, and when it hits, neither him nor his tacos will be safe. JCM thinks about what Katniss said for a moment, then he leaves the party early. On the way home, he calls hilaryfan80, telling him to prep the Cameo-Copter because he's coming out of retirement.

Bl4ze and his minions go into the doubloon store and hold everybody there hostage. Bl4ze uses JCM's thumb print to hack into his account and buy a million lottery tickets. He and his minions then set the place on fire and leave with the police hot on their trails. Suddenly, all of the streetlights go off and Cameo Man, never one to pass up a dramatic entrace, speeds past the police cars. Deputy Commissioner Halibut, filling in for Wumbo while he's gone, orders the policemen to change course and pursue Cameo Man. CNF, who's riding with him, asks about the guy who just burned down the entire doubloon store, and Halibut explains that catching Dylan's murderer is way more important than catching some troll. Unable to lose the cops and follow Bl4ze at the same time, Cameo Man uses the Cameo-Copter to fly off as Bl4ze and his minions escape.

Person, who was working with Bl4ze this whole time, watches the news with delight, but that delight is short-lived when Katwoman breaks into his home. Katwoman threatens to kill him if he doesn't give her what she asked for: a program allowing her to delete her entire criminal history. Person tells her it never existed, and some of Bl4ze's minions enter with guns aimed right at Katwoman. Katwoman struggles to avoid the gunshots and fight them off, but Cameo Man comes out of nowhere and joins her in the fight. They dispose of the minions rather quickly after that, and Person crawls away in terror. Cameo Man says he overheard Katwoman and Person's discussion and offers to give her the program she's looking for if she helps him find Bl4ze. Katwoman says she'll think about it and writes a time and place to meet her tomorrow on Cameo Man's hand. Cameo Man and Katwoman then part ways.

JCM returns to his mansion, and OMJ asks him where he's been all night. JCM tells OMJ he's not his dad, and OMJ says he's concerned about JCM going out nearly getting himself killed again. JCM says that being Cameo Man is all he knows, and since the only other future he ever imagined was one with Lady Gaga, he doesn't know what else to do. OMJ reveals that before Lady Gaga died, she wrote JCM a letter telling him she was going to marry Dylan and that if she could move on, JCM should do the same. JCM refuses to believe him, so OMJ quits. The next day, JCM discovers he only has 500 doubloons in his bank account, winnings from the lottery Bl4ze invested all his money in. His screams can be heard all over SBC City.

Bl4ze stops by Person's house, and Person tells him he's done a great job trolling JCM. Bl4ze thanks Person, then he orders Person's men to kill him, since he's nothing but a loose end now, and kind of a prick. Person laughs, but then his men point their guns at him. Nervous, Person tells the men they work for him, but Bl4ze says they work for him now. Bl4ze thanks Person again and leaves to the sounds of gunshots. That night, Cameo Man meets Katwoman at the designated time and place, and she leads him to Bl4ze. Cameo Man attempts to fight Bl4ze, but Bl4ze easily overpowers him. Once Cameo Man is worn out, Bl4ze breaks his friggin' back and throws him in a pit. Cameo Man asks Bl4ze why he doesn't just kill him, and Bl4ze responds that he doesn't want Cameo Man to miss the show, turning on a TV screen playing Fox News, the worst form of torture imaginable.

After taking care of Cameo Man, Bl4ze heads to the football stadium where the highly-anticipated SBC-SBM game is about to occur. He sheds a single tear at the beautiful voice of the singer of the national anthem. During the opening kickoff, the football field crumbles, killing everybody on it. Bl4ze strolls into the center of what used to be the field and tells the horrified audience that this is just a taste of what's to come. He reveals that he has a nuclear weapon thanks to the work of a scientist he kidnapped. His men bring out the scientist, who Bl4ze says is the only man who knows how to disarm the weapon. He then snaps the scientist's neck Superman-style.

Wumbo, who is watching from his hospital room with CNF, asks CNF where the rest of the police force is. CNF says that Bl4ze's minions trapped them underground after Halibut recieved an anonymous tip about Cameo Man being in the sewers. Wumbo says it's up to him and CNF to stop Bl4ze now, but before he gets out of his bed, he sees Bl4ze at the stadium taking a piece of paper out of his pocket. Bl4ze reads the resignation speech he stole from Wumbo, exposing the entire Dylan cover-up, and says his men are freeing the prisoners of SBC City because the law that put them in jail was based on a lie. CNF, who is hearing this for the first time, loses respect for Wumbo, but Wumbo says he had no other choice. Wumbo and CNF leave the hospital and are immediately captured by prisoners.

Cameo Man is sitting in fetal position at the bottom of the pit, holding onto whatever's left of his sanity after the third hour of Fox News. Katwoman descends into the pit and rescues Cameo Man, saying he owes her a program. Cameo Man gives her a flash drive as they climb out of the pit and asks her why she took so long. She admits to having been afraid of defying Bl4ze, especially after he broke Cameo Man, but she realized the benefits outweighed the risks after Bl4ze took over the city. Cameo Man thanks her, and she tells him not to sweat it.

Cameo Man calls hilaryfan80 and tells him to meet him at the Cameo-Cave with something that can fix a broken back. At the Cameo-Cave, hilaryfan80 gives Cameo Man a back brace that allows him to fight as well as he ever did. He then tells Cameo Man about Bl4ze’s bomb and affixes a device to the Cameo-Copter that can detect nuclear radiation, allowing hilaryfan80 to find the bomb and try to deactivate it. Cameo Man is still trying to process this whole bomb thing, but he thanks hilaryfan80 for all the help as they get into the Cameo-Copter and fly off.

Wumbo and CNF are taken to the courthouse, where Hayden, dressed in a judge's robe, sentences them to death. Two prisoners drag them outside the courthouse to be shot, but then Halibut comes out of a nearby police car, shoots the prisoners, and lets Wumbo and CNF into his car before driving away with them. Halibut apologizes for not taking Bl4ze seriously. CNF says he’s more than made up for it at this point, and they start working on a plan to get the prisoners back off the streets.
 
The Cameo-Copter’s radiation detector starts going nuts above a manhole. Cameo Man and hilaryfan80 jump into the manhole and find themselves surrounded by Bl4ze’s minions. Cameo Man, feeling like his old self with the back brace, has no trouble beating the minions. He hears a ticking noise, digs further into the ground, and finds a weird machine with a timer on it, counting down from seven minutes.

hilaryfan80 analyzes the bomb and tells Cameo Man he has no idea how to shut it off. At that moment, Bl4ze appears behind them with a gun. Cameo Man kicks the gun out of Bl4ze’s hand and fights like his city depends on it, mostly because it does. Despite that, Bl4ze overpowers him again and says he won’t make the mistake of leaving him alive. hilaryfan80 grabs the fallen gun and shoots Bl4ze, sending him to the ground. As Bl4ze dies, he laughs, telling them they’ve already failed because the bomb will go off regardless of what he does. There’s five minutes on the timer now.  Cameo Man knows what he must do, telling hilaryfan80 goodbye as he straps the bomb to the Cameo-Copter and flies over the ocean. hilaryfan80 wipes away tears as the Cameo-Copter disappears in a spectacular explosion.

Next Monday, OMJ eats alone at a Mexican restaurant, regretting leaving JCM the way he did. At the table in front of him, JCM sits down with Katnisslovestacos, and OMJ is like “whaaat”. CNF, now an ex-officer, walks into the Cameo-Cave and prepares to continue Cameo Man’s legacy.

The End???

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64. Omair's New Ooomf

Film: The Emperor's New Groove

The film opens with narration from Omair, a teenage emperor who hates nature allahu akbar. He tells the story of how his life as a ruler used to be and how it became fabulous "for so many reasons".  Omair is shown to have been spammy, albeit charismatic. He even goes so far as insulting potential brides for the disapproval of gay squids and throwing an Old Man Jenkins out the window for "throwing off his snapchat." After Omair fires his amazeballs advisor, Wumzba, for not liking his music taste, he comes up with a scheme to usurp the throne with the help of Chank, his dim-witted but jovial henchman in Wumzba’s secret oblogatory.

enBf3bj.jpg

Meanwhile, Omair meets with Facha, a kind peasant and village leader, and tells him that he wants to demolish his ask thread to build himself a lavish get away from summer home called "Nutellopolis". Facha protests, but is dismissed.  Wumzba and Chank later attempt to poison Omair, but end up giving him the wrong potion and accidentally turn him into a llama, the one animal Omair would have loved to become. After knocking Omair out, Wumzba orders Chank to turn him normal and hide the body, but Chank has a stroke of conscience in the form of Ozu and Kiyoko and saves him. However, she accidentally leaves him in the back of Facha's cart as Facha is leaving the city. Facha returns home but does not tell his pregnant wife Katie or children Plankypoo and Dennis about Omair's decision. After awakening in the cart, Omair reveals himself as a llama and orders Facha to take him back to the palace to celebrate this oomf, but Facha will only do so if Omair agrees to spare his ask thread. Omair haughtily sets off into the jungle alone, before being ambushed by katguars. Thankfully, Facha rescues him and the two make a deal about going to the palace.

Meanwhile, Wumzba takes the throne, but Chank then reveals that she lost Omair. The two set off to find him and finish the job. Facha and Omair are almost back to the palace when Facha falls through a bridge and Omair refuses to help him up, admitting he never meant to keep his promise and that Nutellopolis will be better than the New York Mets. However, he soon finds himself in danger too, and they work together to save both their lives. Without the bridge their journey is delayed, giving Facha hope that Omair will change his mind. Chank and Wumzba stop at Downtown Bikini Bottom to eat at the same time Omair and Facha are there disguised as a married couple. Neither party realizes the other is there until Facha overhears Wumzba and Chank talking about trying to turn Omair. He tries to warn Omair, but Omair does not believe that his two llamas would never do that to him and the two separate angrily. Omair then overhears Wumzba's plot to turn him back to a real boy, but when he tries to return to Facha, he finds that he has already left and is unable to find him.

The film then returns to the opening scene, with Omair lost in the jungle alone. However, he is soon reunited with Facha and multiple llamas, and they enlist the help of Facha's family to keep Wumzba and Chank occupied while they escape. The race to the palace seems to end with Wumzba and Chank falling off a cliff, but they still inexplicably reach the palace first thanks to Cha drawing a shortcut. Wumzba orders Chank to turn Omair back to normal and to send Facha on another hiatus, but Chank gets into a conversation with her shoulder Guano and Yes Man, and finds she cannot bring herself to hurt them, which leads Wumzba to insult Chank, David Puddy, and the 4 and resign to do it himself. Wumzba calls the guards who do not recognize Omair and attack the two of them, while Facha and Omair take all the potions they can carry as they throw them at the guards turning them all into animals.  Wumzbda orders them to attack, except for JCM, who was turned into a cow and asked if he can cameo somewhere else.  Wumzba obliged.

After several escapes, Omair and Facha run into Wumzba who they then transform into a cat, Facha and Omair work together to try and get the last vial. Wumzba snatches it soon:

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But is unintentionally foiled by Chank. Omair asks if he has too, which Facha obliged yes and transforms Omair.  Now a human again, and a more selfless ruler, Omair decides to build his getaway from summer home elsewhere, and Facha suggests Alaska. In the end, Omair is shown living next door to Facha's ask thread in Alaska, sharing an igloo with Facha and his family. Wumzba, still the soon cat, grudgingly joins Chank's Junior Lilymu troop, along with Plankypoo and Dennis.

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"This topic is quite old.  You may reply to this topic, but only if your post is meaningful."

Well damn.  I guess this post is meaningful because SBCinema is back.  As my only spin-off now, I'm going to pay much more attention to this.  Yes everyone, my only.  I've told a few of you this months ago and as recently as a week or two, I'm semi-retired from spin-off writing.  I just don't have time for it anymore with my real life being much more of a priority.  I can't commit to the amounts of hard work it takes to update shows like Spin-off Action or ATTWL, so for those of you who completely missed it, I had Jjs move them to Davy Jones Locker where they will remain.  Sorry to those of you disappointed, but you all deserve better than having to wait endlessly for updates.

Since SBCinema is easy for me to write in a hurry, this will continue though.  So hence the "semi".  I'll gladly keep continuing this since I need to unleash my creative output somehow.  So without further ado, the wait is over.  Brand new SBCinema being delivered to you right now.

 

65. Chalice in Guanoland

Film: Alice in Wonderland (1951 animated film...fuck the 2010 version)

On a golden spring day at the riverbank, Chalice never grows bored listening to her sister Aya read aloud anime shitposts to her.  One off day though Aya prevents Chalice from daydreaming of The 4, Chalice tells her llama Omair that she would rather live in a nonsensical magical land called Guanoland. While daydreaming, Chalice spots a waistcoat-wearing White Fabbit passing by, exclaiming that he is "late for an important Wendate". Chalice gives chase and follows him into a large, furnished Fabbit hole. Chalice's dress catches her fall like a parachute, and she floats gently down. Seeing the White Fabbit disappear into a tiny door, Chalice tries to follow him but is too big for the door...whose talking termiknob advises her to alter her size to wumbo using a mysterious bottle marked "Drank Me." The contents cause her to shrink rapidly since the termiknob got the advice backwards. Either way, the door is locked and the key is out of reach. Chalice then treats herself to a gluten free cookie that says “Bite Me” and expands to wumbo sized to fill the entire room. She weeps wumbo sized tears which flood the room like an ocean. Another drink from the bottle causes Chalice to shrink again; the termiknob is forced to let her through or drown in Chalice's tears. Chalice floats through the door's keyhole and into Guanoland. She meets numerous strange characters: Drug Funnie; followed by TweedleDPP and TweedleSwag, who recount the tale of "The Bubble Buddy and the Love Test".

Chalice eventually tracks the White Fabbit to his house; she is sent to retrieve some gloves after being mistaken for a fellow Wendip. She eats a cookie and grows into a giant again, getting stuck in the Fabbit's house. The White Fabbit, Drug Funnie, and chimney sweep Nugs the Lit-zard think Chalice is a monster. They plot to burn the house down, but Chalice escapes by eating a gluten free cookie and shrinking to the size of an insect. She meets a garden of talking Tumblrs who initially welcome her with a bunch of likes, but then suddenly mistake Chalice for a hater and chase her off. Chalice is instructed by WhoterBobar to eat a piece of his shipping trash so that she can return to her original size. Chalice keeps the remaining pieces of the Steve/Bucky trash on hand.

Chalice meets the Cheshire Kat. She recommends that she visit the Mad Sporter (Trophy), March Madness Hare (Jjs) and the Haymouse. The three are hosting a XAT tea party and celebrate Chalice's "unbirthday". The White Fabbit appears, but the Mad Sporter and the March Madness Hare destroy his pocketwatch given to him by Mrs. Corduroy. They eject the White Fabbit from the party. Fed up with the nonsense surrounding her, Chalice abandons her pursuit of the White Fabbit in order to go home before her shows start.

Chalice ends up getting lost on her pursuit in the Fugley Woods. Fearing she is lost forever, Chalice breaks down into tears. The Cheshire Kat reappears and leads Chalice into a giant hedge maze ruled by the tyrannical Katie, Queen of Chum and her meek husband, Dennis the King of Katie’s Heart. The Queen orders the beheading of anyone who enrages her, particularly a gardener (JCM in a cameo) who accidentally planted red roses instead of green ones. Chalice is invited (read: forced) to play the Queen in a kinky croquet match; both contestants use sharks and halibutts as the equipment.

The Cheshire Kat appears again and pulls a trick on the Queen, for which she blames Chalice. Chalice is arrested and put on trial, unfairly judged and convicted. Suddenly, Chalice remembers that she still has the remains of the WhoterBobar's shipping trash and consumes both halves. Immediately becoming a giant piece of shipping trash, Chalice makes it very clear what she really thinks of the Queen and her Plankypoo too. However, she returns to her normal size just as rapidly. Enraged by such blasphemy, the Queen orders her execution. Chalice flees and is pursued by most of Guanoland's characters, until she finally reunites with the termiknob.

Chalice begs the termiknob to let her through. He informs her “eh whatever, you’re just dreaming anyway”. Chalice wakes herself up just in time. Now realizing that logic and reason exist for a purpose, Chalice walks home with her sister Aya and Omair for tea.

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Had this idea in the back of my head for awhile now.  Figured what better time than now for SOF 6.

66. Man of Game

Film: Man of Steel

Steel-Oh-El, chief advisor to Gameton's supreme council, recommends a full-scale evacuation of the games section due to inactivity. Before any action can be taken, soldiers led by General Zaid, an old friend of Steel-Oh-El's, launch an uprising and arrest the councilors. Realizing that Gameton is doomed, Steel-Oh-El steals genetic codes sought by Zaid and infuses them into the DNA of his infant son, El-Oh-El – the first naturally born Gametonian child in centuries. Donning his old “man of steel” armor, Steel-Oh-El sacrifices himself to buy time for his son to escape on a preprogrammed godmodder. Zaid orders to Destroy the Godmodder, only to learn that forces loyal to the council have suppressed the rebellion. In a brief trial, Zaid and a handful of surviving rebels are convicted of treason and imprisoned in the Ask Me Thread Zone just seconds before Gameton explodes.

Following Steel-Oh-El's coordinates, the godmodder lands in the television series Smallville. A childless couple, Crushing and Marthcha, recover the infant El and adopt him, naming him Bub Fehing. As he grows up, Bub becomes an outcast as a result of developing supergame abilities. He then learns his true origins from Crushing, who urges him to keep his game powers hidden because his real activity will shine through. Several years later, Crushing dies in a plague of inactivity while refusing to let Bub save him by telling him to Don’t Talk in This Thread. Burdened by guilt, Bub leaves to wander the world under several aliases like Kyle and Carl, seeking a new purpose for his game ideas.

Katie Kinks, a veteran journalist at the Krabby Kronicle, receives an assignment to investigate the discovery of a Gametonian scout ship in the deep blue sea. Bub, posing as a worker, enters the ship and activates its central computer using a key left by Steel-Oh-El, allowing him to communicate with an artificial intelligence modeled after SOF. The SOF explains that Bub was sent to SBC to guide its people, and presents him with a Gametonian uniform bearing his family's symbol. Meanwhile, Katie, who had been following Bub, accidentally triggers the ship's security system. Bub saves her and uses his Input Command vision on her wounds before donning the uniform and testing his ability to fly. Katie attempts to get the editor Hali Butt to publish an article on the incident, but he refuses to do so without Snapchat proof. She later tracks down Bub, but eventually agrees to keep his secret safe.

Zaid and his crew, having escaped from the Ask Me Thread Zone, travel to SBC after intercepting a transmission from the scout vessel. Deducing that El-Oh-El is nearby, they broadcast a global forum address demanding that he surrender or risk games section war. Bub meets with the SBC Army and agrees to comply, with Katie joining him as a hostage. Zaid reveals that he possesses advanced terraforming equipment salvaged from Gametonian outposts, which he intends to use to transform SBC into a new Gameton. His officer, The Milkmaidman, extracts Bub's genes so that he can create Gametonian colonists who will exterminate humanity and build a society based on Zaid's ideals of dignavility. With help from Steel-Oh-El, Bub and Katie escape and warn SBC, just as Zaid orders a games section invasion.

Given the codename "Supergameman", Bub destroys the terraforming person below me platform, while his human allies launch a ban game suicide attack that kills Zaid's troops. Enraged, Zaid vows to guess the next poster himself, and engages Supergameman in a brutal hand-to-hand fight that ends with both men crashing into The Endless Tower of Boss Battles (points to anyone that actually remembers that short lived game). Zaid turns on his Circuit City vision that offers super sweet deals on electronics towards a group of passengers, forcing Supergameman to put him out of business.

Recognizing that he is now the last surviving Gametonian, Supergameman persuades the SBC Army to let him act independently, so long as he does not turn against them. To allow access to dangerous situations without attracting attention, Supergameman is hired as a freelance reporter for the Krabby Kronicle as Bub Fehing.

In a post credits scene, we see JCM, in a cameo, driving around the city during the Supergameman/General Zaid fight sequence in his all new 2016 Jeep Renegade.  He then saves the life of a little girl from the falling Person Below Me platform collapsing on her.  JCM then hugs the little girl as he looks up in the sky angrily at Supergameman for the destruction that he is causing.

 

COMING SOON TO A SBCINEMA NEAR YOU: CAMEO MAN V SUPERGAMEMAN: DAWN OF GAMES SECTION INJUSTICE!

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It's back from a three month break...but is it for a good cause?

67. Banbusters

Film: Ghostbusters

Parapsychologists Old Man Jenkman, Wumbo Stanza, and Mr. Dr. Professor Pangler are called to the SBC Wiki to investigate recent banned member activity. They encounter the ghost of a banned woman from many years ago but are frightened away when she transforms into a horrifying sexual private message monster named Jenna.  Everyone escapes the Wiki, except Wumbo who questions why he never got a sexually graphic PM.  After losing their jobs at SBUniversity, the trio establish a banned member investigation and elimination service known as "Banbusters". They develop high-tech equipment capable of capturing banned members of past and present and open their business in a disused, run-down subforum called The Staff Lounge. hilaryfan80 warns them never to cross the energy streams of their proton pack weapons, as this could cause a catastrophic explosion. They capture their first ban, Bl4zer, at a hotel built in SpongeCraft and deposit it in a specially built containment unit in the staff lounge. As paranormal activity increases in SBC, they hire a fourth member, Bada Bing Nugmore, to cope with demand as well as a receptionist in the form of Jelly, who is never around to answer calls.

The Banbusters are retained by The Great Aya, whose ask thread is haunted by a demonic spirit, Storm, a demigod worshiped as a servant to ACS the ACassian, a split personality god of Project Lochinvar. Jenkman takes a particular interest in the case, and competes with Aya's neighbor, accountant Ren The Unicorn, for her affections. As the Banbusters investigate, Aya is demonically possessed by Storm, which declares itself the "Gaykeeper", and Ren by a similar demon, Yellowshdow, the "FuckSBCmaster". Both demons speak of the coming of the destructive ACS and the release of the imprisoned members, and the Banbusters take steps to keep the two apart.

Ssj, a lawyer representing the SBMigrant Protection Agency, has the Banbusters arrested for operating unlicensed waste handlers and orders their banned member containment system deactivated so they don’t flee to SBM, causing an explosion that releases hundreds of banned members. The banned members wreak havoc throughout the city while Ren/Yellowshdow advances toward Aya/Storm's apartment. Their romantic encounter opens the gate and transforms them into supernatural hounds of justice as banned members flee across the forums including Person, loan, rallyistracer, Cherry, theispatrick, Stancakes on the XAT, amongst others. Consulting blueprints of Aya's apartment building, the Banbusters learn that mad doctor, cult leader, and poop eater WhaleBlubber, claiming humanity was too sick to survive, designed the building as a gateway to summon ACS and bring about the end of the world.

The Banbusters are released from custody to combat the supernatural ban crisis, but after reaching the most recent page of Aya's ask thread, they are unable to prevent the arrival of ACS, who appears in the form of JCM, in a cameo. Briefly subdued by the team, ACS disappears, but his voice echoes that "Project Lochinvar" will follow, taking a form chosen by the team. Wumbo inadvertently recalls a beloved cartoon character from his, and everyone’s, childhood—"something that could never, ever possibly destroy us"— and Project Lochinvar arrives in the form of a giant Mr. Nigel Ratburn and attacks the forum. The Banbusters cross their proton pack energy streams (reversing the particle flow) and fire them against ACS's portal; the explosion defeats ACS/Ratburn and frees Aya and Ren from their banned possesor demons. As thousands of SBCers wipe themselves free of Ratburn’s cake, the Banbusters are welcomed on the forum as heroes…until the episode gets rebooted thirty years later with an all-female cast starring Sauce, Cha, Mermaid Magic, and Katniss and is declared sexist.  How dare they reboot such a prestigious episode with all females, what kind of society are we living in?  A progressive one?

Note: Please don’t take those last three sentences seriously.  Just like I’m spoofing this movie, I’m spoofing how stupid the reboot controversy is.  I think its obvious, but just in case others don’t see it the same way I do.

 

 

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