SBCinema

[SpongeOddFan]

Best. Episode. Ever.

[Metal Snake]

Excellent episode!

[Steel Sponge]

In due to an overlord request, here's an episode from me:

 

34. The Loyal King

Movie: The Lion King

 

Meanwhile in an alternate universe where everybody is in Africa and there was practically no internet to use...a sun can be seen rising up from the horizon, whilst cuing the ancient African choir for "The Circle of Life." All the SBU members were hypnotized by the telegram, as they were summoned to the Community Rock to celebrate the birth of the new king-in-line: ExKizuna, presented by King Crushingmayhem and Queen Someone. As Trophyki lifted the soon-to-be-king in the air, finishing the african choir, the crowd goes wild. Everybody was happy and filled with anticipation...except for Mayhem's brother and ExKizuna's evil uncle E.V.I.L, who is envious about the new king. He was meant to be next in line, until the "little hairball" was born. Mayhem and his advisor terminoob came to talk with E.V.I.L., who missed the big day. After a little spat, terminoob convinces Mayhem that E.V.I.L. would make a CUTE LOL throw rug.

 

Time passes with young ExKizuna trying to wake up Mayhem, the heavy sleeper. Eventually, Mayhem educates Ex about the circle of life, the universe, and everything else. Mayhem tells Ex that everything that the light touches is their Community. Ex then asks about the "shadowy place" of the forums, which is forbidden, thus he cannot go there. Moving on to Mayhem's next lesson he explains how their dead bodies become the grass, and commenters feed the trolls the grass, or some crap like that, thus creating the Circle of Life. And after a while where terminoob would arrive, Ex pounces on 'em, as of Mayhem's third lesson. Ex then returns home safely in due to a report of rogue members from the shadowy place located in the Community Lands. Ex, rubbing it in E.V.I.L.'s face, brags about how he's gonna be the new king, which leads to E.V.I.L. saying that he will end up as "a monkey's uncle." Ex then talks to him about the opposite border, accordingly to E.V.I.L., it was known as the forum graveyard, but still tells Ex otherwise to never go there.

 

Ex decides to invite his friend Sauce Nala to go to the forum graveyard, in which Mayhem told him and E.V.I.L. menacingly told him not to go, but they pack their things to set off for the other side regardless, after taking their "baths." Someone gives Ex and Sauce the opportunity to explore the "cool" place, specifically the Off-Topic hole, but only as long as terminoob travels with them. When they arrived, Ex tells Sauce about the forum graveyard, where they're really going, as terminoob sees Ex and Sauce as a couple, as they both resent, but apparently, the king has to marry. Ex and Sauce then breaks into song about how Ex just can't wait to be king, which can be alternatively titled "terminoob Torture Porn." terminoob then loses sight of the duo as he gets squashed by a rhino.

 

Ex and Sauce finally enter the shadowy place known as the forum graveyard, where they are eventually confronted by the rogue trio, Shinya, Nuggets, and Fa. After almost being massacred by them, Mayhem comes to save the day and bans them for a week and warns them to never go near Ex. Learing that Ex has disobeyed his father, Mayhem, upset, goes home with him, alongside Sauce who compliments Ex's bravery. Mayhem gives Ex a talk about how much trouble he has caused, and then plays around with him and looks at the stars and convinces Ex that a king's spirit remains in the starry sky, as Ex hopes that they'll always be together. Meanwhile, Shinya, Nuggets, and Fa show up on E.V.I.L.'s tinychat to complain about their temporary suspension from the forum graveyard and lolligag with E.V.I.L. In a moment, he then sings to the tinychat members about being prepared for the death of King Crushingmayhem, followed by a hoarde of the forum graveyard members marching like nazis before wrapping up the musical number.

 

E.V.I.L. then follows Ex into the middle of nowhere for a surprise that he will certainly "die for." Like the evil uncle he is, E.V.I.L. is left alone, and E.V.I.L. gives the rogue trio the cue to cause a dangerous, spontaneous llama stampede. E.V.I.L. then tells Mayhem that Ex is in great danger, in order to lure the king to his horrible demise. Mayhem saves Ex luckily, but gets himself in a cliff hanger, with E.V.I.L close by. He then grabs Mayhem, giving him pain to his grappling hands and drops him to his death in the llama stampede. Ex then comes to see Mayhem's lifeless dead body and cries his eyes out for the death of his kingly father. E.V.I.L. then convinces Ex to run away and never come back to the Community Lands, explaining to Ex that Mayhem's death was all his fault. After the tragic event, E.V.I.L. becomes the new king, thus starting the E.V.I.L. Administration, in due to Mayhem's death, and fibs about Ex's death as well. Meanwhile, Mayhem's dead body becomes the grass, and wouldn't you know it, the trolls eat it. But his legacy still lives on elsewhere...

 

Later on, teenj and Patty Sponge, a comedic duo, find Ex lying around and tells him to come live in their place and eat "grub" for the rest of his life (tastes like chicken). Practically, Ex was so hungry he could eat a Kamen Rider. They then tell him about their trademark phrase "Hakuna Matata," WHICH MEANS NO WORRIES FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAAAAYS! After a long enough time skip, Ex is now an adult and still living the dream of Hakuna Matata, where he now officially resides with teenj and Patty Sponge. Meanwhile at Community Lands, now at the helm of E.V.I.L., the place has been extremely remodeled into the look of Upstate New York, the place was filled with Squidiam stuff, the Community Lands veterans were suffering starvation, Shinya, Nuggets, and Fa are second in command, and terminoob was stuck in E.V.I.L.'s clutches, in which he annoys him with the "It's a Small World" song and breaking a rule in mention of the late Crushingmayhem.

 

Back in the jungle, Ex, teenj, and Patty Sponge look up at the sky and wonder about the constellations, whereas Ex becomes reminded about the kings whose spirits are watching them, before calling it a day. Meanwhile, Trophyki comes to realize that Mayhem's son Ex was actually still alive, while everybody else, surprisingly enough, didn't age a bit....except for Sauce. Sauce then goes around searching for the missing ex-king-in-line and becomes overjoyed that Ex was still alive, but eventually frightening teenj and Patty Sponge, after their casual day of singing "The Lions Sleep Tonight." Apparently, Ex knows Sauce, Sauce knows Ex, but she wants to eat him, AND EVERYBODY'S OKAY WITH IT!? teenj and Patty Sponge are still baffled about this, but Ex and Sauce eventually fall in love, cueing another musical number.as the comedic duo cry that they'll lose their longtime friend. Sauce then tries to convince Ex to come back to the Community Lands to reclaim himself as the king, but Ex argues that Community Rock is just fine without him, refuses to come back and ignores Sauce's words about how awful things were since E.V.I.L. was the new king. Sauce, disgusted with the new carefree ExKizuna, leaves him in the jungle.

 

Ex then confronts Trophyki who spends time with him to tell him about his history and such. Trophyki convinces Ex that Mayhem is still alive on the inside. Ex then looks up at the starry sky to see the spirit of the fallen king himself, Crushingmayhem, who tells Ex to remember who he is and take his position into The Circle of Life. Ex, making his realization, decides to leave to save the Community Lands from everlasting destruction. Sauce goes over to teenj and Patty Sponge and asks him where Ex went off to, as Trophyki tells him that Ex has returned to his traditional legacy. Sauce goes with Ex, alongside the comedic duo to come back to the post-apocalyptic Community Lands.

 

But first, the forum graveyard members have to lose their focus, as Ex orders teenj and Patty Sponge to distract them by singing around and doing the hula around them. LUAU! Ex then decides to face E.V.I.L., and saves Queen Someone. Before E.V.I.L. lures Ex into the same way he has killed Mayhem, E.V.I.L. convinces Ex to self-proclaim himself as the person who caused the former king's death, to everybody's shock. While Ex is struggling, E.V.I.L. secretly tells him that he's the one who killed Mayhem. Ex then demands E.V.I.L. to speak the truth that he killed his late father. Then cue a super epic fight scene between Ex and uncle E.V.I.L., while everybody else fends against the forum graveyard members, along with terminoob being freed. It was easily pulled off by Patty Sponge, after being called "Mister Pig." Ex then puts E.V.I.L. near his demise and tells him to run away and never return. But of course, E.V.I.L. ends up being mauled by the forum graveyard members, where lives up to his legacy in the great Olympus Coliseum in the sky, as a CUTE LOL throw rug.

 

After E.V.I.L.'s death and Ex's victory, the Community Lands restores in peace and harmony, at the helm of the new King ExKizuna and Queen Sauce Nala and then follows up to another celebration to the birth of the next-king-in-line: Kopa! Nope. It's a queen-in-line. And as by the tradition, Trophyki holds it up in the air, wrapping up the film, at last.

--

 

Ugh, I said a mouthful.

[crushingmayhem]

Good job with this episode. I really like the role you gave me.

[Clappy]

Job well done Steel.  You made your former overlord proud.

[Clappy]

I don't think I'm going to get Sherlock Sponge done tonight, so to make up for that, I wrote this episode of SBCinema instead.

 

35. SSJ-Z

Movie: Taken

 

Former SBC admin operative Ssj tries to have a closer relationship with his daughter, Someone. She lives with her mother, Science Girl, and her wealthy stepfather, Crushing, in Texas. While working as security with former colleagues, Ssj saves cow girl-jester Unlimitedcha from an assailant after a concert. Unlimitedcha, grateful, agrees to tutor Someone after Ssj says she aspires to be a jester. Someone asks Ssj for permission to travel to Paris with her friend Jelly. Ssj balks at the two girls traveling alone, but relents when Science Girl complains that he is overprotective. He gives Someone an international cellphone, and makes her promise to call every day. At Texas International Airport, he learns that the girls are not staying in Paris, but are following international pop diva Britney Britney during her European tour.

 

Arriving in Paris-Charles de Gaulle Airport, Someone and Jelly meet ACS, a scout for a kidnapping flight simulation gang, who offers to share a cab with them. At the apartment, Someone discovers that Jelly's cousins, with whom they are staying, are in Spain. While talking to Ssj on the phone in the bathroom, Someone sees Jelly being kidnapped by intruders. Ssj instructs her to go to the nearest room and hide under a bed. He explains that when the men find her, she has to shout out their physical descriptions. Someone is pulled out violently from under the bed, and she complies with her father's instructions before the phone is found and destroyed.  Ssj then warns the kidnapper he has a super saiyan skill set.  He can manipulate supernatural life energy known as ki and exert powerful & devastating concussive beams. Through another sub-technique of life force manipulation, he can put a life force aura to surround himself in life energy, gaining nigh invulnerability.  Oh and that he will find them and kill them all.

 

Ssj informs Crushing and Science Girl of their daughter's kidnapping. Ssj's former colleague Jjs tells him that based on the recording, Someone has probably been taken by an IAVA human flight simulation ring that has recently begun abducting female tourists. He also says that if she is not rescued within ninety-six hours, she will likely never be found. Ssj travels to Paris, and finds ACS at the airport attempting to lure another tourist to come check out his Carnival cruise ships. After a confrontation and chase, ACS is hit and killed by a passing truck before Ssj can interrogate him.

 

Ssj then seeks out Terminoob, a former SBC officer who now works an artistic job. Terminoob is relatively unhelpful but does direct Ssj to a district where an IAVA gang are forcing women to join their flight simulation group. Terminoob afterwards has the police put a tail on Ssj and soon warns Ssj that his vigilante methods will result in him getting deported, but Ssj avoids arrest. Ssj follows one flight simulation lover to a brothel at a construction site, where he finds a girl wearing Someone's jacket. He fights off the brothel guards and escapes with the girl. After the girl awakens, she gives Ssj enough information about the house where she met Someone to allow him to find it.

 

Ssj confronts the IAVAians, and identifies the kidnapper on the phone as Madcatz. He wounds Madcatz and kills the others. Searching the house, he finds several captive teens, including Jelly, who is dead from an apparent overdose. In the basement of the house, Ssj straps Madcatz into a makeshift electric chair and tortures him into divulging Someone's location; as an artist, she was very valuable on the black market, and was sold to an auctioneer named DarrisXTMRage. Ssj leaves Madcatz to die, and visits Terminoob at home. Having deduced that Terminoob is taking kickbacks from the kidnappers, he extracts Darris's home address by threatening to kill his wife.

 

Ssj infiltrates Darris's mansion, where a large party is the facade for an auction of girls in the basement. Ssj forces JCM (in a cameo) to purchase his daughter, but is captured after they exit the room. Ssj frees himself and JCM and kills Darris's henchmen. He forces Darris to reveal where Someone has been taken before killing him. Ssj races the luxury yacht owned by World Travel, ACS's "bro", and boards it. There, he kills the boat's guards, confronts World Travel in his boudoir, and blasts him in the head, rescuing his daughter. They return to the U.S. where she is reunited with her mother and stepfather. Afterward, Ssj takes Someone to see Unlimitedcha for her first jester lesson.

 

NOTE: ACS dies multiple times in this episode.

 

NOTE: Just picture Ssj as Goku instead of Liam Neeson this whole episode.  See how much more badass he can be?

[Clappy]

It's back...before I go on another short hiatus again.

 

 

36. Motel Ask Me Threadvania

Movie: Hotel Transylvania

 

 

 

In the aftermath of the death of his wife Jelly, Count Clapula designs and builds a massive five-star motel in which to raise his daughter Madvis and to serve as a getaway for all the world's ask me threaders...who are all monsters. Famous ask me threaders such as Jenkinstein and his wife Chanice (of course I’m going to make Cha play the same role as Fran Drescher ), Wumbo and Aya Werewolf and their massive immediate family, Milkmaid the Invisible Man, and E.V.I.L. the Llama often come to stay at the hotel which is completely mobile free and safe for monsters.

 

On her 18th birthday, Clapula allows his daughter to leave the motel in order to explore the human world, but he sets up an elaborate plan using his zombie crushings disguised as humans to make them seem intimidating and frighten her home. The plan works, but the crushings inadvertently lure a 20-year-old named Terminoob to the motel. Clapula frantically disguises him and passes him off as Termistein, a distant cousin of Jenkins's right arm. Termi soon encounters Madvis and the two "Ping". Unable to get Termi out of the motel without notice, Clap quickly improvises that Termi is a party planner, brought in to bring a fresher approach to his own traditional and boring parties. Termi quickly becomes a hit to the other ask me threaders, especially Madvis, and even begins to gain Clapula's respect. He tells Termi the reason he hates humans is because the death of Jelly at the hands of angry snapchatters shortly after Madvis was born, and is surprised at Termi's understanding and knowledge of the lore.

 

Termi attempts to leave after his confession on Clapula's orders, but is brought back by Madvis. After showing her the beauty of a sunrise, she is re-inspired to give humans another chance. Clapula finds him back and shows him how to move the magical tables. Meanwhile, Seximodo learns that Termi is a human with his pet rat Trophy's help and kidnaps him in order to cook him. Clapula intervenes and magically freezes Seximodo to keep him from telling anyone that Termi is human. The party is a great success the next night. But when Madvis kisses Termi, Clapula overreacts and in his outburst confesses to deceiving Madvis with the town. A still-frozen Seximodo bursts in and Kevin the Fly translates his frozen language that reveals Termi's humanity causing negative reactions from the guest. Madvis is undeterred by her attraction and wants to be with Termi even though he is human, but Termi rejects her out of respect for her father and leaves the hotel. Madvis then angrily yells at Clapula and flies off. Clapula arrives to comfort Madvis, but finds her on the roof looking at the present Jelly gave her for her birthday and finds out that is a book about how her and Clapula had a Ping. Clapula then realizes that Madvis and Termi had a Ping but he got in the way.

 

After apologiping to the ask me thread monsters that are trying to check out and confessing that even he doesn't know if humans have changed, Clapula manages to convince Jenkins, Wumbo, Milkmaid, and E.V.I.L. to help him find Termi and reunite them and they learn he is bound on a flight out of Ask Me Threadvania soon. They head to the airport and encounter a XAT Festival along the way, instead of being frightened by the ask me threaders appearing, they instead help Clapula by providing him shelter from the sunlight so he can get to the airport quickly only to see Termi's plane taking off. He takes the risk and gives chase, burning in the sunlight. After getting Termi's attention, Clapula makes his way to the front of the plane, using his mind-controlling power to control the pilot (JCM in a cameo) to help him apologize for his actions. Termi accepts Clapula's apology and Clapula manipulates the pilot to return to the Ask Me Threadvanian airport for a refuel and Clapula returns Termi to Madvis, who confesses that their Ping was mutual and the two kiss, making Clapula realize his little girl is all grown up and can make her own decisions.  All of SBC, ask me threaders and XATers, finish celebrating Madvis' party as everyone sings “The Ping” since this is a children’s film and all children’s films need to end in musical numbers unless you are a Pixar flm.

[Jjs Goodman]

Time for a guest write by me.

 

37. SychOpaF

Movie: Psycho

 

Old Man Jenkins is seen having sex with Aya in his apartment while on lunch break. OMJ recently divorced his previous wife, Jelly. Unfortunately, OMJ does not have the money for their relationship to possibly work. Aya goes back to her work, and her sister Sauce Mama is there. Entering into the work came Clappy with a check with $40,000 to purchase a house for his daughter, Cha. Aya is entrusted with it, and she is supposed to give it to her boss, Jjs, when he comes back. However, Aya has other plans.

 

We see Aya is packing her bags in her apartment, and she wants to runaway with the money, wrapping the $40,000 in a newspaper. While she drives out of the city, she sees Jjs walk in front of her car, leaving a guilty face on her. She drives out of town, and while on the road, Aya eventually pulls over the sleep, leaving the car there. She wakes up later on, but a cop (JCM in an extended cameo) pulls her over, and begins giving her the questioning session. Aya tries her best to hide the $40,000, and she shows JCM her license. She passes the inspection, and drives off on the road again, but JCM is still following her. Aya comes to a used car dealership in another town, and she quickly tries to purchase one. The dealer, which is Teenj, agrees, and lets her have it. Aya puts all her belongings into the new car, and heads off on the road again.

 

As Aya kept driving, the roads began getting dark out, and it was raining hard. She eventually saw an old motel nearby, and pulled up to it. It was called the "SpongeOddFan Motel", and she approached outside. Behind the motel was an old house, and we saw SOF exit it, and came out during the rain to treat Aya. He escorted her inside, and lets her have Room #1. She gets settled in, and SOF decides to make her a meal. They begin talking about their lives, and SOF mentions he has to take care of his mentally ill mother. Aya eventually decides she has to go back home and confess about the $40,000. Aya then decides to get a shower, and we see SOF was peeping at her getting undressed through a hidden hole in his office. She went in the shower, and as she was showering, a shadowy figure approached her from behind the curtain. The figure ripped open the curtains, and began stabbing Aya the death. The figure left, and her body fell dead to the ground.

 

SOF then rushed into the room, and was horrified at the scene. He pulled Aya's body out onto the shower curtain, and wrapped her up. He then tossed the body into the trunk of her car. SOF was clearing out her room to get rid of evidence, and he saw the newspaper Aya had wrapped her $40,000 in. He tossed it in with her into the trunk, and SOF pushed the car into a swamp, evilly watching it as it sunk.

 

We then see OMJ at the Hardware Store, where Sauce enters in and asks him where Aya is. OMJ has no idea, and we see Detective Hayden outside overhearing this. He enters in, and tells them about Aya has stolen $40,000. He promises that he'll hunt her down, and so he does. He begins searching through houses, hotels, and motels for Aya. He then eventually makes his way to the SpongeOddFan Motel, and he checks in. SOF greets Hayden, and Hayden asks him a few questions, particularly if Aya ever checked into here. SOF denies it, saying nobody has visited here in weeks. Hayden looks at the guest book, and sees Aya used a fake name to sign in (using the name "Jack Spicer"), and tells SOF he has been duped, tricked, speckledorfed, and among other terms. SOF then says he remembers, that Aya checked in, and then left. Hayden asks if he is sure she left, and that she isn't hiding here. SOF says he is sure, but Hayden is suspicious. He asks if anybody is living with him in the house over there, and he says no. However, Hayden swears he sees a figure in the window, and SOF says it is his mother, but she is ill, so he is basically alone.

 

Hayden thanks SOF for his time, so he drives up the highway and comes to a telephone booth. He calls Sauce about his findings, that Aya checked into the SOF Motel, and she left the next day. He tells them he is going back there to investigate again, because he feels something is missing, and that he wants to particularly talk to SOF's mother. He drives up toward the motel again, but SOF is not there. He then walks up to the old house, and enters in. He carefully walked up the stairs, and heard the door at the top opening. As Hayden made his way up to the top, SOF's mother came out of the room with a knife, and began stabbing Hayden, as he fell backwards down the steps. He fell to the bottom floor, and she stabbed Hayden, finally killing him.

 

Sauce and OMJ are worried, as they have not heard anything from Hayden in over an hour. They decide to go to where Sheriff Wumbology is, and tell him what has happened with Aya, and the private detective Hayden who was sent out to search for her. Wumbo is confused by the claim of SOF's mother, as he revealed SpongeOddFan's mother and her lover were both killed 10 years ago in a murder-suicide. Sauce and OMJ are confused by this, but Wumbo says Hayden's mind was playing tricks on him. We then cut back to the house, and hear SOF talking to his mother. He says he is going to hide her in the cellar to keep her safe, but she protests it. He then picks up her body, and begins carrying her down, as she protests it.

 

Sauce and OMJ decide to head up to SOF's motel, and they check in. He says they can have Room #12, and both decide to investigate the cabins. They investigate Room #1, and find that the shower has no curtains. They then see a slip with "$40,000" on it, which they think means SOF did something to Aya, mainly for the money. OMJ decides to distract SOF, as Sauce goes to investigate the house. She enters in, and begins looking around the rooms. She finds no old woman however. OMJ was still keeping SOF busy, but SOF asked where Sauce was, and OMJ tried to restrain SOF, but SOF knocked him in the head with a lamp, as SOF made his way to the house. Sauce saw SOF coming, and she made her way downstairs to the basement.

 

Sauce eventually saw Mother SOF on a chair in the cellar, and asked her if she was okay. Sauce touched Mother SOF, and the body turned around to reveal a corpse. Sauce screamed, and SOF came in with his mother's dress on, ready to stab Sauce, revealing he was the killer the whole time. OMJ came in however, and grabbed SOF, preventing him from doing it. We then see Sauce and OMJ back at the police station, and SOF is in custody. A psychiatrist (Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick) interviewed SOF's mother, and by this, he means the mother side of SOF is in control. He reveals many years ago, SOF was already mentally disturbed after the death of his father, and when his mother met a new man, he was the one who murdered the both of them. SOF was disturbed by what he had done, so to erase the crime, he developed a new personality - the mother side. hilaryfan80 explains sometimes both sides were in control, and could have normal conversations with each other. However, only one side could win the battle if a person has a split-personality, and in the end, the mother side won. He then sadly tells Sauce that Aya is dead, along with Detective Hayden. The $40,000 are long gone as well.

 

We then see SOF confined in a room guarded by two cops, and the mother voice is speaking aloud. A fly lands on SOF's hands, to which SOF says "she wouldn't even hurt a fly". Our story ends as the car that sunk in the swamp is being towed out.

[Clappy]

I was thoroughly amused. Job well done jjs!

[So Sejima]

1 each in 2 days in a row

ITS THE SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE

[Clappy]

38. Sauceablanca

Movie: Casablanca

 

It is in the early days of black and white SBCinema. Expatriate CDCB is the proprietor of an upscale nightclub and gambling den in Sauceablanca. "CDCB's Café Nostalgia" attracts a varied clientele desperate to reach the nostalgic television shows of their childhood and those who prey on them. Although CDCB professes to be neutral in all matters, it is later revealed he watches nostalgic television shows with CF and CNF while still trying to start up his own television show Nerdy School.

 

Petty fry cook hilaryfan80 shows up and boasts to CDCB of "letters of transit" obtained by himself. The papers allow the bearer to obtain as much nostalgic television from OtterFan (CDCB’s YouTube account) as they want, and are thus almost priceless to the refugees stranded in Sauceablanca.  hilaryfan80 plans to sell them at the club later that night. Before he can, however, he is arrested by the local police under the command of Vichy Captain Jjsthekid, an unabashedly corrupt official. hilaryfan80 dies in custody without revealing that he had entrusted the letters to CDCB.

 

At this point, the reason for CDCB's bitterness—his former lover, Moose—walks into his establishment. Upon spotting CDCB's friend and house pianist, Clappy, Moose asks him to play "As Time Goes By". CDCB storms over, furious that Clappy has disobeyed his order never to perform that song, and is stunned to see Moose. She is accompanied by her husband, Crushing, a renowned Avatar leader. They need the letters to escape to SBC, where he can continue his work. Major Jenkins has come to Sauceablanca to see that Crushing does not succeed.

 

When Crushing makes inquiries, Trophy, a major underworld figure and CDCB's friendly business rival, divulges his suspicion that CDCB has the letters. In private, CDCB refuses to sell at any price, telling Crushing to ask his wife the reason. They are interrupted when Jenkins leads a group of officers in singing "Bad Company" at Turntable. Crushing orders the house band to play "American Pie". When the band looks to CDCB, he nods his head. Crushing starts singing, alone at first, then patriotic fervor grips the crowd and everyone joins in, drowning out the Jenkins. In retaliation, Jenkins has Jjsthekid close the club.

 

That night, Moose confronts CDCB in the deserted café. When he refuses to give her the letters, she threatens him with a gun, but then confesses that she still loves him. She explains that when they first met and fell in love at Turntable, she believed that her husband had been killed attempting to escape from the XAT. Later, while preparing to flee with CDCB from the imminent fall of the city, she learned that Crushing was alive and in hiding. She left CDCB without explanation to tend her ill husband.

 

CDCB's bitterness dissolves. He agrees to help, leading her to believe that she will stay with him when Crushing leaves. When Crushing unexpectedly shows up, having narrowly escaped a police raid on a Resistance meeting, CDCB has waiter JCM (in a cameo) spirit Moose away.

 

Crushing, aware of CDCB's love for Moose, tries to persuade him to use the letters to take her to safety. When the police arrest Crushing on a minor, trumped-up charge, CDCB convinces Jjsthekid to release him by promising to set him up for a much more serious crime: possession of the letters of transit. To allay Jjsthekid's suspicions, CDCB explains he and Moose will be leaving for SBC. When Jjsthekid tries to arrest Crushing as arranged, CDCB forces him at gunpoint to assist in their escape. At the last moment, CDCB makes Moose board the plane to SBM with her husband, telling her she would regret it if she stayed - "Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life."

 

Jenkins, tipped off by Jjsthekid, drives up alone. CDCB kills him when he tries to intervene. When the police arrive, Jjsthekid pauses, then tells them to "round up the usual suspects."  As they walk away into the fog, CDCB says, "Justin, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

[OWM]

I didn't know this thread existed until now.

[Clappy]

I didn't know this thread existed until now.

And just because of that, you are going to be in my next installment.

 

39. Rear Wumbo

Film: Rear Window

 

After breaking his leg photographing a racetrack accident, professional photographer Eric "Wumbo" Wumbology is confined to his New Brunswick Village apartment, using a wheelchair while he recuperates. His rear window looks out onto a small courtyard and several other apartments. During a summer heat wave, he passes the time by watching his neighbors, who keep their windows open to stay cool. The tenants he can see include a dancer he nicknames "Miss Jelly", a lonely woman he nicknames "Miss CF", a thespian named Webby, several married couples, a middle-aged Ssj, and The Open Window Maniac, a traveling salesman with a bedridden wife and a secret.

 

One evening Wumbo hears a woman scream "Don't!" and a glass break. Later he is awakened by thunder and sees Maniac leaving his apartment, Maniac makes repeated late-night trips carrying his sample case. Wumbo notices that Maniac's wife is gone and sees Maniac cleaning a large knife and handsaw. Later, Maniac ties a large trunk with heavy rope and has moving men haul it away. Wumbo discusses these observations with his wealthy ask me thread socialite girlfriend Aya and his insurance company home-care nurse Challa, and becomes obsessed with their theory that Maniac murdered his wife. He explains their theory to his Canadian brethren SOF, a Canadian detective, and asks him to find out whether anyone actually picks up the packing crate. SOF looks into the situation but finds nothing suspicious, and discovers that "Mrs. Maniac" picked up the packing crate. After SOF leaves, Wumbo asks Aya if she thinks it was ethical for him to spy on his neighbor with binoculars and camera lenses; Aya replies that she doesn't know much about "being a peeping tom" but comments on their morbid curiosity by telling Wumbo he can ask her on her ask thread.

 

Soon after, a neighbor's elastic dog is found dead, its neck broken. When the owner, JCM in a cameo, sees the lifeless body of his dog he screams to the courtyard: "You don't know the meaning of the word 'neighbors'. Neighbors like each other, speak to each other, care if anybody lives or dies! But none of you do!" and cries in grief. During JCM’s hysterics, the neighbors all rush to their windows to see what has happened, except for Maniac, whose cigar can be seen glowing as he sits in his dark apartment. Convinced that Maniac is guilty after all, Wumbo has Aya slip an accusatory note under Maniac's door so Wumbo can watch his reaction when he reads it. Then, as a pretext to get Maniac away from his apartment, Wumbo telephones him and arranges a meeting at a bar. He thinks Maniac may have buried something in the courtyard flower patch and then killed the dog to keep it from digging it up. When Maniac leaves, Aya and Challa dig up the flowers but find nothing.

 

Aya then climbs the fire escape to Maniac's apartment and squeezes in through an open window. When Maniac returns and grabs Aya, Wumbo calls the police, who arrive in time to save her. With the police present, Wumbo sees Aya with her hands behind her back, wiggling her finger with Mrs. Maniac's wedding ring on it. Maniac also sees this, realizes that she is signaling to someone, and notices Wumbo across the courtyard.

Wumbo phones SOF, now convinced that Maniac is guilty of something, and Challa heads for the police station to post bail for Aya, leaving Wumbo alone. He soon realizes that Maniac is coming to his apartment. When Maniac enters the apartment and approaches him, Wumbo repeatedly sets off his camera flashbulbs, temporarily blinding Maniac. Maniac grabs Wumbo and pushes him toward the open window as Wumbo yells for help. Wumbo falls to the ground just as some police officers enter the apartment and others run to catch him. Maniac confesses to the murder of his wife and the police arrest him.

 

A few days later, the heat has lifted and Wumbo rests peacefully in his wheelchair, now with casts on both legs. CF chats with thespian Webby in his apartment, Jelly's lover Paul McCartney returns home touring promoting his new album, JCM and his wife have a new elastic dog, and the newly married couple are bickering. Aya reclines on the daybed in Wumbo's apartment, appearing to read a book on Shrek in order to please him. As soon as he is asleep, she puts the book down and happily goes back to asking for questions.

[Wumbo]

Rear Wumbo aka Wumbooty? 

[Clappy]

Rear Wumbo aka Wumbooty?

So that's what you call it?

[JCM]

40. The Snark Knight
Movie: The Dark Knight

A group of criminals wearing masks of Total Drama characters rob a Mafia-owned bank. They turn on each other until there are two criminals left, one wearing a Chef mask and the other wearing a Chris mask. The criminal in the Chris mask takes his mask off to reveal that he is Hayden, then he shoots the guy in the Chef mask and runs off with all the loot.

Meanwhile, SBC City has just appointed a new district attorney, an idealistic young lad known as Dylan. Dylan teams up with Commissioner Teenj and Lieutenant Wumbo, as well as the masked vigilante Cameo Man, to combat the mob. Hayden goes to mob bosses Al Clapone, Vito Aqualeone, and Tony Sexprano with an offer to get the police and Cameo Man off their backs, but they immediately recognize Hayden as the person who robbed them, so they tell him to go bite whale bubbles. Aqualeone puts a hit out on Hayden, and the next day, a pair of bounty hunters walk into Aqualeone's office with Hayden in a body bag. Hayden springs out of the body bag and asks Aqualeone if he wants to know how Hayden got his scars. Aqualeone says no, so Hayden kills him.

JCM, Cameo Man's secret identity, meets up with his tech guy, hilaryfan80, who redesigns his Cameo Man suit and helps him seize the mob bosses' assets in South Korea. JCM's butler Old Man Jenkins invents an alibi for JCM while he is in South Korea. Shin, who looks over the assets, agrees to rat out the mob bosses to the police, after some "motivation" by Cameo Man. Clapone and Sexprano are arrested, and they both use their one phone call to call Hayden and accept his offer.

Hayden goes on national television to tell the people of SBC City that for every day Cameo Man doesn't turn himself in, somebody will die. Hayden makes good on that threat when he kills Judge SG and Commissioner Teenj. Wumbo realizes that this is (why so) serious (?) business, so after he is made commissioner in place of Teenj, he has cops stationed around his house in case he's Hayden's next target.

That night, JCM hosts a party for Dylan at the Plug DJ club. Dylan proposes to his high school sweetheart, Lady Gaga, who previously was JCM's childhood friend. Gaga is one of the only few people to know Cameo Man's real identity as JCM. However, before Gaga can respond, Hayden and his thugs come into the club. JCM runs into a nearby telephone booth and comes out as Cameo Man. He gets into a fight with Hayden, and Hayden escapes, but not before letting Cameo Man know that his thugs have taken Dylan as well as Gaga.

Cameo Man teams up with Lieutenant Wumbo to track down Hayden, and when he's in their custody, he tells them that Gaga and Dylan are being held on the opposite sides of town, and that Cameo Man won't be able to save both. Cameo Man speeds after Gaga, while Wumbo and his officers go after Dylan. Cameo Man gets to the spot where Hayden told him Gaga was, but he finds Dylan there instead. He drags him out just as the building explodes, burning off half of Dylan's face. Meanwhile, Wumbo and his officers get to Gaga's building, but they get there too late, and the building explodes as the song "Bad Romance" plays.

Hayden breaks out of the police station and kills Shin and Sexprano, telling them that their obsession with money has made them inferior criminals and that all Hayden wants to do is troll SBC City. He appears on national television again to say that if Cameo Man isn't dead within the hour, he'll blow up a hospital. Hospitals around the city struggle to evacuate their patients, while at one hospital, Dylan anguishes over his would-be-fiance's death. Hayden appears at his bedside and convinces him to take revenge on the policemen and gangsters responsible for Lady Gaga's death. Dylan flips a coin to determine Hayden's fate, and both he and Hayden escape from the hospital before it explodes.

Dylan kills Al Clapone and Detective Terminoob, a cop who was complicit in Dylan's kidnapping. Dylan then forces another detective, Cha, to bring him Wumbo's son, SOF, and his brother, Hassan (because I'm pretty sure all Canadians are related). He calls Wumbo and tells him that he's holding Wumbo's family at the same place Gaga died.

Hayden, meanwhile, has hijacked two Xat rooms, telling the members of those rooms that one must shut down the other, or he'll shut them both down by midnight. Ssj, head of the SBCommunity room, says that they're the true SBC chat room, but Jjs, head of the SBJeopardy room, says that there are five more jeopardy games until the finale. Neither one chooses to shut down the other.

At the Cameo-Cave, JCM asks hilaryfan80 if he can use a prototype NSA tracking device to find Hayden. hilaryfan80 lets him, but says that he would have to resign afterwards. JCM understands, and after donning the cape and cowl of Cameo Man and NSA-tracking his way to Hayden, he saves the two Xat rooms and ties Hayden up. Cameo Man is ready to go home after a job well done, but Hayden smugly tells him about how he's corrupted Dylan, who's currently on a homicidal rampage.

Cameo Man NSA-tracks his way to Dylan, who's on the top of a building, pointing a gun at Wumbo, SOF, and Hassan. Dylan, seeing Cameo Man, flips a coin to decide his fate. It lands on tails, so he shoots at Cameo Man, but Cameo Man dodges and jumps on Dylan, causing them both to tumble off the side of the building. Dylan breaks Cameo Man's fall, and as Wumbo and his family come down and see Dylan's dead body, Wumbo despairs that "SBC City has lost its White Knight, not to be racist or anything." Cameo Man tells Wumbo to publicly blame him for Dylan's misdeeds, because Cameo Man is the hero SBC City deserves, but not the one it needs right now. Wumbo agrees, and he sends his cops after Cameo Man, who must now remain underground until the inevitable sequel. OMJ then burns a letter that Lady Gaga had written to JCM announcing her engagement to Dylan, as hilaryfan80 watches the signal tracker self-destruct.

[Clappy]

Note to self. Have JCM come back to write the sequel.

Perfect way to end Season 2 of SBCinema.

[Old Man Jenkins]

Old Man here with a surprise guest write! Felt like I overdid it a bit, but I just wanted to do this movie justice.

41. The SBCers

Movie: The Warriors

Battle of Cunaxa, 401 (S)BC

"Over two millenniums ago, an army of Greek soldiers found themselves isolated in the middle of the Persian Empire. One thousand miles from safety. One thousand miles from the sea. One thousand miles with enemies on all sides. Theirs was a story of a desperate forced march. Theirs was a story of courage."

Sometime in the future...

"This story is nothing like that..."

The many members of the SpongeBob fandom are chastised for their site's inactivity compared to SBC and invited by Dylan, leader of one of the more influential Spongebob sites, SBC, to converge at the SpongeBase. Each site were required to send nine delegates to represent their community at the peace meeting, no weapons allowed. Members representing the SpongeBob Wiki, the Fanon Wiki, SBM and even SpongeHolly's fan site were attending. And some mimes because why the hell not, y'know. Representing SBC were The SBCers, led by Teenj. Joining him were Clappy, jjsthekid, Wumbo, Terminoob, Dr. Sex, Elastic, OMJ and Patty Sponge. Teenj tasks Patty, the group's artist, to post graphics promoting SBC everywhere. He wants everyone to know that The SBCers were there. Elastic asks everyone just "who the fuck is Dylan?" and they each give their negative opinions of the guy before Termi tells him that no one's probably even gonna be there. And considering the SpongeBob fandom, nobody was.

Dylan makes a grand entrance by hatching out of an egg and asks everybody in attendance "can you count, bitches?!" before laying out his master plan to merge all the SpongeBob sites together into one working network, the SpongeBob Universe! He says that separate, their sites are small and obscure, but that together, they can use their combined resources to have the entire SpongeBob fandom in the palm of their hands. No more feuds between sites, just an endless amount of potential and SpongeBob-related content with nothing getting by on the show without it going through SBU first. The idea seems good enough on paper and everyone showers him with applause. Unbeknownst to everyone though, a team of the more edgy, spammier members known as The Trogs sneaks a gun into the summit and their leader, ExKizuna, guns down Dylan in cold blood. OMJ witnesses Ex committing the deed and Ex turns the gun towards OMJ before things further descend into chaos when Viacom raids the summit because they can't have SpongeBob sites coming together and giving away free content of their most popular show. Ex pulls his gun back, giving OMJ a chance to regroup with the other SBCers as everyone else scatters from Viacom's wrath. Teenj separates from the others in order to get a better look at what happened to Dylan, who's being tended to by the other Little Monsters. Ex comes up and says that Teenj and The SBCers shot Dylan. Fellow Trog, Dragiiin, verifies his accusation. Teenj denies and is all like "As Moderator, we didn't do nothin!" but Ex pounces to attack the SBCer leader. Teenj merely shrugs Ex off to the side and makes short work of Dragiiin before getting jumped by Dylan's Little Monsters. The Monsters surround and beat him to a pulp, leaving Teenj's fate ambiguous.

The SBCers manage to escape when Jjs punches a hole in the SpongeBase's firewall and they take refuge in a cemetery where all the dead topics, and soon SBU, are laid to rest. With Teenj gone, Clappy takes his place as "Manager", which Termi takes issue with, thinking he should be Manager since he originally founded the site but everyone shuts him up and they decide to make a run for home. Patty leaves a graphic promoting SBC in the graveyard. Everyone will now know they were there. Unbeknownst to the SBCers, the newly renamed Little Monsters, "The Nuggets", now led by Dylan's second-in command, Jibbix, puts a hit out on The SBCers. JCM (making multiple cameos throughout) even gets news of Jibbix's hit out on the SBC News airwaves. Now everybody and their mothers are out on the hunt. When The SBCers reach the subway that'll take them back home, they find themselves blocked off by one of the heaviest sites in the fandom, The Wikis. The SBCers ponder whether or not the truce is still on as The Wikis are patrolling the area and making edits in their bus. The SBCers wait for them to whip by before throwing caution to the wind and making a run for it. The Wikis notice them on their feed and give chase, but The SBCers make it in the station in the knick of time, Elastic and Sex even taking some time vandalize the Wiki's pages. The SBCers manage to outrun their assailants unscathed and escape on the train headed home. Jibbix receives word of The Wikis failure to comply. Ex and The Trogs harass poor user's shops in Glove Universe and they leave without paying.

On the ride back to SBC, the train gets stopped prematurely due to a fire on the tracks and The SBCers have no choice but to disembark and walk on over to the next station, finding themselves in SBM territory. They venture through the SBM Chat, where they're immediately confronted by ACS of Team Rage. He tells them to "go home, SBCers!" and Clappy and OMJ approach and tell him that they were just at the SpongeBob Summit and that they are going home, but need to go through SBM to get there. ACS is skeptical, considering he and Team Rage weren't invited and tells them about Team Rage's heavy rep. Elastic uses that to crack a fat joke on him. Clappy tries making peace with ACS for once and is willing to parley. ACS tells them about his contributions to SBM, like his threads about memes that nobody finds funny. OMJ plays to ACS' ego gives those threads a like, telling him they are funny. Sex sucks up to ACS over how skinny he is and this is good enough to convince ACS to grant The SBCers safe passage. Spongefifi comes on the chat and cheep, cheep, cheeps at ACS, calling him a chicken for letting The SBCers walk all over him. ACS throws some lemon party at her before telling Clappy that he and others need to remove their SBC colors if they wanna get through SBM. Clappy refuses and they soldier on through anyway, prompting ACS to rally and gather the other members of Team Rage. OMJ tells Jelly that they aren't changing who they are just because some bitch offers jelly cookies and they leave her as she shoots some Spanish insults at them.

Jelly wanders SBM alone until she gets grabbed by Jjs from behind and is surrounded by The SBCers. Clappy wants to know why she's following them and she tells them that she wants some real action, "ask them a few questions". Sex says he is named "sex" for a reason and Termi tells her that he's the one packing the beard. Clappy grabs her and puts her against a car, saying they all should just pull a Rusty Train on her and that may she would like it. Before things got anymore hot and sexy, ACS comes back into the chat with Felix, Darris and Kilo in tow armed with their imaginary guns and wearing their Payday masks. ACS tells them that Team Rage is gonna come down on them hard, which Elastic also turns into a fat joke. Wumbo hands his lock and trash bin over to Clappy, who tears off a bit of cloth from Jelly's Fab Four shirt. He throws the lock and cloth into the trash bin and lights it on fire before chugging it at a nearby boatmobile next to Team Rage. The boatmobile explodes, flaming Team Rage, and The SBCers uses this opportunity to book it to the train station with Jelly in tow as Team Rage flee the SBM Chat in unison. Word reaches Jibbix about yet another Team Rage failure and JCM gets that word out on SBC News. Meanwhile, Ex converses with someone who we will never know about on the phone and tells Drag and the other Trogs that they could hit The SBCers up as well just for lulz.

Back at the train station, Termi is growing impatient about waiting for the train to leave, saying he has better things to do like quitting MassArt. Just then, a Viacom officer strolls by their train car, prompting them to make a run for it since Viacom are still on the hunt for users who attended the big meeting. Clappy, Jjs, Wumbo and Elastic separate from Sex, Termi and Patty while OMJ holds back with Jelly to protect her. OMJ gets jumped by an officer out of nowhere and wrestles with him, telling Jelly to leave. The struggle ends with OMJ being thrown into the path of an oncoming train. Termi, Sex and Patty manage to make it on a train while Clappy, Jjs, Wumbo and Elastic head back up to the streets. They wonder where the others are before noticing that they're surrounded by the Baseball Trophies, consisting of Trophy, RSF and whichever other users who are actually sports fans here. The Trophies chase after The SBCers through the streets and into SBM's Dump. Clappy and Wumbo break away from Jjs and Elastic, who all the Trophies chase after now. Clappy and Wumbo hide out until all the Trophies run by before ambushing RSF and a few of them and taking their baseball bats. Elastic can't outrun them much longer, so Jjs takes the fight back to the Trophies and wrecks a couple of them while Trophy makes Elastic bow down to his fist. Trophy threatens to shoot Jjs out of his cannon and Jjs tells him that he'll shoot Trophy so far out of that cannon, he'll turn him into a Popsicle. Wut? Jjs makes short work of Trophy. Clappy and Wumbo arrive to give Jjs back up and they manage to wreck the Trophies. They help Elastic up once the dust settled, who calls the Trophies a bunch of "sports humping fags."

JCM gets the news of this out and makes a sarcastic remark about the Baseball Trophies, saying that the SBCers are close to making it all the way to home base. Meanwhile, Termi, Sex and Patty disembark from their train and meet up with a bunch of female users. Meanwhile meanwhile, Clappy, Jjs, Wumbo and Elastic come across SpongeBob crew member, Robert Ryan Cory. Jjs wants to stay back and give him a piece of his mind regarding his work, but Clappy and the others tells him to get over it and that there's plenty of SpongeBob to get pissed off about back in SBC. Jjs tells them that they've "all gone post-movie" before approaching Robert Ryan Cory. They get into it a little before Cory cuffs Jjs to the bench they were sitting on and signals for Viacom to come arrest him. Viacom rains their wrath down on him as Wumbo and Elastic decide to go back for him, Clappy telling them to meet him at the station. When they arrive back for their friend, they see him getting arrested. Wumbo and Elastic decide to leave Jjs to his fate. Clappy meets back up with Jelly in the next train station, (sexual) tensions still flaring. He asks her what happened to OMJ and she tells him that OMJ got grabbed by Viacom last she remembered. They get discovered by another Viacom officer and more storm the station. Clappy knocks one down with the bat he took from the Trophies earlier and head into the train tunnels with Jelly, running alongside an oncoming train and escaping Viacom again.

Termi, Sex and Patty get together with the female users, who takes them to their hideout. Sex flirts with Cha while Aya tells Termi how they know all about The SBCers. He asks who they are and she replies "The Lulzbians". Subtlety. Patty doesn't seem to want any of what Someone and Someone's Friend are giving him. The girls tells the boys to take their pick. Termi picks out Aya. Patty tells Sex that they should leave and get back with the others, but Sex ignores him and hooks up with Cha. Someone, Someone's Friend, Sauce, HPL, GirlyGirl, CF, and Negi all try bagging Patty, but he denies all their advances. He surveys the room and situation they're in.

Clappy and Jelly are still venturing through the tunnels, bickering with each other. Jelly asks for Clappy's name, saying she wants to know so she could tell her friends who she makes music videos with. Clappy tells her that she may as well tie a video camera to her face. Jelly confronts Clappy about how he's been a dick to her all night. He tells her that he doesn't like the way she lives and how he hopes someone a bit better wanders into his ask thread. Jelly asks what makes her questions any less better than others, Clappy says she must like how things are going for her. She says she does and how Friday and Saturday night game rapes are good and better. Clappy doubts she even remembers who she asks on Friday and Saturday nights. Jelly tells him that she sees the dead end that her life is heading towards so she wants some action now. She goes to "ask him some questions" and he "answers" but pulls back, telling her that she's just a part of everything bad that's happened to him tonight and tells her to go back to DR.

Back at Lulzbian HQ, Patty continues being a little cock block as Termi and Sex have the time of their night. Patty grows increasingly suspicious and his suspicions are confirmed when the girls lock The SBcers inside with them. They pull out guns and knives, telling them that they know they shot Dylan. Patty warns his friends that the "Lulzbos are packed!" Sex fights Cha back and hits her over the head with a chair as Termi punches Aya in the face. Sauce manages to slice Patty's arm with her eyelash curler. The girls shoot at them, but miss every shot because lol they're girls. Sex breaks the door down and The SBCers make a hasty escape as the Lulzbians just stand by and do nothing about it. Outside, Sex covers up Patty's wound. Patty tells them that the girls thought they shot Dylan and they everybody in the SpongeBob Universe is probably out looking for them. Termi reassures him that they'll make it back to SBC safe. They leave to meet up with the others.

Clappy makes it to the next station alone, but soon gets stalked by ssj, who's following along on roller skates. Wumbo and Elastic enters the same station to find Termi, Sex and Patty already there. Wumbo catches them up on things, telling them that Jjs got nabbed by Viacom and Clappy took off on his own. They decide to search for Clappy as Jelly reunited with him in the arcade, telling him that he's being followed by SBMers. Clappy tells her that he knows, but that now they know that he knows. Abney, PhilipB, DMAP, SBRox, MMM and Prez join up with ssj right as Wumbo and the others reunite with Clappy and Jelly. The SBCers and Jelly head into the men's bathroom as the SBMers follow suit. Ssj and his gang corner them in the stalls, brandishing their weapons for some more SBC/SBM shitslinging (ha). The SBCers catch the SBMers by surprise by kicking the stall doors in their faces. Patty sprays ssj in the face with his paint and the battle begins. Wumbo tosses DMAP into a mirror, ssj punches Patty in the face, Elastic and Sex knock and slam MMM and Prez to the floor, Jelly bites ssj, Termi knocks Philip out with the fist he has in his beard, Abney fights Clappy and holds him down as SBRox hammers him in the ribs. Wumbo throws SBRox into one of the toilets, Sex drives Prez face first into a wall, Abney knocks both Sex and Termi down, Patty sprays Abney in the face and Elastic clubs him with his bat, DMAP decks Elastic, Wumbo judo kicks DMAP in the face, ssj goes to knife Jelly, Clappy knocks out MMM then slams SBRox back into the stalls and Jelly claws at ssj before Wumbo grabs and holds him for Clappy to finish off with a hard elbow to the face. Clappy takes ssj's knife and they leave for their train.

Kevin comes to Jibbix with Hayden, who says he saw who shot Dylan from the xat. On the last train home, The SBCers lament over the events of the past night when a couple of prom goers enter the train to nothing but cold stares because none of the SBCers attended their own proms. Jelly goes to ask them questions, but Clappy stops her before she could even begin. The prom couples hop off at the next stop, one of the girls dropping their flower thingy in the train. Morning dawns and The SBCers are finally back home on the Community Boardwalk, commenting on how this ugly V5 Dolphin skin is what they fought for all night to get back to. Clappy picks the flower thingy up and gives it to Jelly, telling her he doesn't like seeing things go to waste. The Trogs arrive on the boardwalk, peeling in inside their customized boatmobile. The SBCers run off into the Games section, picking up improvised weapons and preparing for another fight. Clappy tells Jelly to go somewhere safe but she refuses and says she's already proven she can take care of herself. They're interrupted by the approaching Trogs. Ex claps a couple bottles together on his fingers and is all like "SBCerrrrrrssssss, come out to PLAY-YAAAAYYYYYY" and repeats this a couple of times before Clappy and the others decide to this out on the beach.

Ex, Dragiiin, Shin, Sbnator, Supergameman, Murica, Spanky Ham and Newleaffan meet the SBCers out on the beach, Clappy commenting that when he sees the V5 Dolphin background, he figures they're home, that they're safe. Ex tells him that this time, he's wrong. Clappy asks him why he shot Dylan. Ex replies that he had no reason and that he "just likes doing things like that". Clappy and Ex laugh to each other before Clappy challenges him to a straight up fight, just them two. Ex is all like "what are you, nuts?" before whipping out his gun and pointing it at Clappy. He lols and tells the SBCers that they're all dead and goes to take the shot, but Clappy pulls out ssj's knife and throws it at Ex's wrist, impaling it and causing the gun to fly out of his hand right as he pulled the trigger. Ex writhes in pain before Clappy takes his knife out his arm and wiping the blade of with Ex's hair. Dragiiin, Shin and the other Trogs prepare to defend their leader, but Jibbix and his Nuggets arrive on the scene and are all like "NUGGETS! YEAH RIGHT!" It looks like he brought with him a 100 piece meal as all the Nuggets stand by their leader armed to the teeth. They march down and completely surround the two warring factions. Clappy asks Jibbix if he's still looking for The SBCers. Jibbix declines and says that they've found what they're looking for, staring at Ex. Ex pleads for his life, but Jibbix comments that the SBCers "are good, real good." Clappy tells him that they're "the best." Jibbix assures him that "the rest is ours" and has his Nuggets clear a path for the SBCers to leave the scene. Once they were gone, the Nuggets closed in on the Trogs as Ex lets out a blood curdling scream.

JCM lets the news of this out on the airwaves, sarcastically apologizing to the SBCers for giving them so much trouble all night with his false reports. JCM decides to make it up to them by playing some Eagles tho because they're The Eagles. The SBCers head out to the SBC home page, home safe at last and overlooking the hypnotic ocean background of V5 Dolphin. Termi, Elastic, Sex, Wumbo and Patty and casually stroll around the site as Clappy and Jelly follow not too far behind, hand in hand.

[Clappy]

I love it, but I have to admit that I am legitimately surprised you wrote all this and then just asked me ten minutes ago if you could guest write...wow. Feel free to repeat this whole process again sometime because this was quite the pleasant surprise.

[Clappy]

As for the "other" season premiere of SBCinema, I'd like to properly introduce it.  For the first time ever, a sequel to a previous installment of SBCinema.  Enjoy since I feel like this is 10x better than the original, especially since I didn't half-ass this one.

 

42. SBC Wars Episode II:  Attack of the Drones

Film: Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

 

The Universe Community is in turmoil following the invasion of Games by the Trade Federation ten years earlier. Elastic Dog is now an apprentice to OMJ. The former Jedi Knight, Count Acidic, has organized a Nostalgic movement against the Community, and the Universe Senate is debating a plan to create an army for the Community to assist the Jedi against the Nostalgic threat. Senator Smiles, the former queen of the ask threads, returns to Staff Lounge to vote. Upon her arrival, she escapes an assassination attempt, and Supreme Chancellor Cakeybagelsoup assigns OMJ and Elastic to protect her.

 

OMJ and Elastic subdue the assassin, Jenna, during another assassination attempt. However, before she can give them any information and offer them sexual favors to keep secrecy, she is killed by her employer with a poisonous dart. OMJ learns that the dart was manufactured on the remote ocean planet of V9: Oceans, and is assigned to investigate, while Elastic is assigned to escort Smiles back to her home planet of Games, where he and Smiles fall in love. In investigating V9: Oceans, OMJ discovers that it has been removed from the navigation maps of the Jedi archives. Ssj reveals that such a thing could only have been done by a Jedi, suggesting that a conspiracy is afoot.

 

OMJ heads to V9: Oceans, where he discovers that an army of drone troopers is being secretly produced for the Community, using a bounty hunter named PatBack as their genetic template. Realizing that PatBack is Jenna's employer, OMJ tracks PatBack and his son FatRick to The Industrial Park, a spammy planet where a new droid army is being created. Meanwhile, on Games, Elastic becomes troubled by premonitions of his mother Linda Lovelace in pain. Against OMJ's order, Elastic and Smiles travel to Entertainment. After meeting his new stepfather Bob Duncan, as well as his stepbrother Sex, Elastic learns that Linda Lovelace was kidnapped by spambots some weeks earlier. Elastic arrives at the tribe's campsite to rescue Linda Lovelace, only to discover too late that his mother was tortured to death. After Elastic kills everyone at the campsite, he returns with Linda Lovelace's body and reveals his crime to Smiles, who comforts him.

 

 

Having discovered Acidic's authorization of the assassination attempt on Smiles and that the Nostalgics are developing a new battle droid army, OMJ relays this information via hologram to Elastic, who transmits it to the Jedi Council. However, OMJ is captured by Acidic mid-transmission. Acidic unsuccessfully attempts to make an ally of OMJ, and reveals to him that the Community is being secretly controlled by a Sith Lord named Darth Dragiiin. While Elastic and Smiles head to Geonosis to rescue OMJ, Cakeybagelsoup is granted emergency powers to organize the Drone army and send them into battle. Shortly after arriving on Geonosis, Elastic and Smiles are captured by PatBack and ordered to be publicly executed along with OMJ. Elastic and Smiles profess their love before being led into a large gladiatorial arena where they and OMJ are pitted against gigantic trolls. However, Aquatic Nuggets and a team of Jedi (including JCM in a cameo, wondering why he isn’t Samuel L. Jackson in this installment) appear and lead a strong defense against the trolls and the Nostalgics. During the almighty battle that follows, Aquatic Nuggets kills PatBack but then the Jedi find themselves outnumbered by the Nostalgics' droid army. As Acidic demands their surrender, Ssj arrives with reinforcements - the Drone army.

 

As a battle erupts between the Community's Drone army and the Nostalgics' droid forces, OMJ and Elastic follow Acidic to try and prevent his escape. In a lightsaber duel, Acidic defeats them both, injuring OMJ and severing Elastic's right arm, but then Ssj arrives in time to save them and challenges Count Acidic himself. Unable to defeat Ssj, Acidic flees in his ship to Staff Lounge, taking the blueprints for a superweapon with him. He is met by Dragiiin, who states that everything is going as planned now that the galaxy is at war. As the Jedi gravely acknowledge the start of the Drone Wars, Cakeybagelsoup supervises the launching of several battalions of Drone troopers. Meanwhile, Elastic – now fitted with a robotic artificial arm – and Smiles secretly marry on Games, with C-F3689 and CD-CB as witnesses