JCM Posted May 24, 2020 Author Share Posted May 24, 2020 Previously on JCMovies Cha: Do you sell fortune cookies here? JCM: Here you go! (As JCM and Cha break their fortune cookies, they read the same fortune inside them: A journey soon begins Its prize reflected in another's eyes When what you see is what you lack Then selfless love will change you back) JCM: JCM...I think we just switched bodies. (JCM and Cha scream. Later that day, Cha is outside of the SpongeBob Community School talking to MCJ on her phone.) MCJ: Can we try again? Cha: I...guess so. MCJ: Meet you at my place at 8? Cha: Actually, I might need a little more time to think about (MCJ hangs up the phone.) Cha: Gosh darn it. JCM Walks Another Mile in Cha's Shoes (Cha knocks on the door of MCJ's house, and JCM opens it.) JCM: Surprise, motherfucker! (JCM punches Cha in the face.) Cha: (rubs cheek) So, I assume shinya wasn't able to figure out how to return us to our own bodies? JCM: No! And it certainly didn't help that you abandoned us! But that's not even what I'm most pissed about right now! Why in God's name would you agree to go on a date with MCJ? Cha: It kind of just...happened. JCM: First Sauce, now MCJ! Do you want to fuck all your siblings? Cha: Keep it down! He'll hear! JCM: I don't give a shit! You need to call it off! Cha: I can't! It would destroy him! JCM: He's a fucking asshole! Who cares? Cha: He's still my brother! Yeah, he can mean sometimes, and yeah, he's tried to kill me on more than one occasion, but he's family. JCM: Is this some kind of Thor/Loki thing you two have going on? Cha: Thor? Loki? Are those people from school? JCM: Literally, have you been alive these past ten years? MCJ: (from upstairs) Is everything okay? Cha: Yeah, MCJ! Just waiting for you to come down! JCM: (whispering) Fucking call it off. Cha: (whispering) No. I'll go on one date with him, and then I'll let him down gently. JCM: (whispering) You piece of shit. If we return to our own bodies, I'll fucking kill you. Cha: (whispering) Thank you for understanding. (MCJ comes down the stairs in a suit.) MCJ: Okay, I'm ready! You look beautiful as usual, Cha. (JCM gags.) MCJ: Is there something you want to say, brother? Cha: No, he's probably just choking on the air. Let's go! (MCJ and Cha leave the house and get into MCJ's car. He drives them to a high-end restaurant on the other side of town. They pass Michael Bolton, who's singing his greatest hits, on the way to their table.) MCJ: So, Cha, what have you been up to these last five years or so? Cha: Oh...you know...just living my best life. MCJ: Wow, that's great! So uh, you like steak? Cha: No, not really... MCJ: Waiter! (A waiter appears at the table seconds later.) MCJ: Steak for both of us! Waiter: You got it. Cha: What? Waiter: And what will you have to drink? MCJ: Champagne fine with you? Cha: No, it isn't! MCJ: Come on! Your name's in it! CHAmpagne! You need to try it at least once! Cha: I swear to gosh, MCJ! Waiter: I'll just get her water. MCJ: (sighs) Fine. Get me the biggest bottle of liquor you have, though. (The waiter nods before leaving.) Cha: Listen, MCJ, this isn't going to work. It's not that I don't like you, it's just that...I don't like you. MCJ: But...the date is just getting started. Cha: And I'm ending it. Bye, MCJ. (Cha starts to leave the restaurant, and MCJ follows her to where Michael Bolton is playing.) MCJ: At least let me drive you home! Cha: I'll take a cab. Also, the next time you think of calling me...don't. (As Cha walks out of the restaurant, MCJ turns back to his table with a heartbroken expression on his face.) Michael Bolton: (singing) TELL ME HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU? MCJ: Put a sock in it, asshole. (After MCJ returns to his table, the waiter returns with two plates of steak and one large bottle of liquor.) Waiter: Is she coming back? MCJ: Just give me the bill and leave me the fuck alone. (As MCJ starts drinking his liquor, Cha gets into a cab and tells the driver to take her to JCM's house. When she gets there, she knocks on the door, and JCM opens it.) JCM: Finished using my body for your sick, twisted version of twincest? (Cha breaks down into tears, and JCM awkwardly hugs her.) Cha: You were right! My brother is a jerk! I had to destroy him. I'm afraid to see what's left. JCM: Let's just focus on getting back into our own bodies before we have to deal with any of that. (JCM and Cha stand on opposite sides of the room.) JCM: One..two...three! (JCM and Cha run into each other head-first, and after they collide, they fall to the ground in pain.) JCM: That was a dumb fucking idea. Shit, maybe you're rubbing off on me. I have to get out of this body now. Cha: What was it that fortune cookie said before we switched bodies? JCM: I don't even fucking remember anymore. Something about selfless love? Cha: Selfless love! That's it! Cha... (Cha grabs JCM by the shoulders.) Cha: I love you. (Just as Cha says that, MCJ walks into the house.) MCJ: What the fuck? Cha: Wow! That was literally the worst time for me to say that! MCJ: It all makes sense now. Getting all my dad's affection wasn't enough for you! You had to take the only woman I ever loved away from me, too! Cha: Are...are you going to try to kill him again? MCJ: Of course! And after I'm done with that, I'll kill you, too! Be right back! (MCJ runs up the stairs and goes into his room, slamming the door behind him.) Cha: Cha...close your eyes. JCM: What? Why? Cha: Just...close your eyes, and try not to feel bad about what happens next. (JCM closes and opens his eyes. Suddenly, Cha faints. MCJ comes back down the stairs wielding an axe.) MCJ: You have no idea how many times I've dreamed about using this on you! (JCM points an open palm at MCJ and shoots a powerful blast of energy at him that severs his right arm.) MCJ: Ouch! What the fuck? That hurt! (MCJ swings the axe at JCM several times with his left arm, and JCM avoids every swing before grabbing the axe, breaking it, and kicking MCJ so hard that he flies through a wall. JCM closes and opens his eyes again and looks down at his hands.) JCM: Oh my gosh! I'm myself again! (JCM looks at Cha, who wakes up and smiles softly.) Cha: You did it. You broke the stupid Freaky Friday curse. (Cha faints again, and JCM calls an ambulance to pick up Cha and MCJ, who's bleeding profusely out of the socket his right arm used to be in.) (Cha is eating at shinya's Korean restaurant again. JCM walks up to her table.) JCM: Would you like some CHAmpagne? Cha: Huh? Do you sell that here? JCM: No, it was a joke. A bad joke, but still a joke, I guess. Cha: (nods) How's your brother? JCM: In a lot of hot water. Apparently, he drove home super drunk and killed a lot of pedestrians on the way there. A judge said he was planning to throw the book at my brother, which is a weird punishment. I would prefer they just lock MCJ up. He doesn't need anything getting thrown at him. Cha: You're a good person, JCM, even though you might not show it much. JCM: Thanks. You aren't half good yourself. Cha: I think you mean half bad. JCM: If it's half, does it really matter which way I go? Cha: You know, you're smarter than people give you credit for. Not much, but still. JCM: Thanks...I think? Cha: But your dick is much smaller than I thought it would be, and I thought it would be really, really small. JCM: Please stop talking. (The End) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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