Fanfiction Reruns

[4EverGreen]

“The Long, Long, Long, LONG Walk! (Part II)”

The Green Hood narrates, and says: “Previously, on Cerebus the Aardvark, Cerebus and Red Sophia arrived on the island of Melvinbone, where I appeared to tell them that their services were needed on this island, and they would need to meet and accept help from the sorcerer named Elrod! Elrod...did NOT make the best first impression on Cerebus and Red Sophia, to say the least! But Cerebus and Red Sophia were willing to put their differences aside, in order to join Elrod on a quest, to vanquish the fierce dragon named Sludge, and lay their hands on a great treasure located in the Isolated Peak! Joining forces with twelve rugged dwarves, the adventurous group fought against trolls, goblins, coyotes, and Cerebus even encountered the lair of Brother Gollum, where he found a magical earring that could turn him invisible at will! But by the time the group got to the Lost Woods of the Murky Forest, Cerebus had FINALLY had enough of Elrod's constant talking, and Cerebus royally told Elrod off! Needless to say, Elrod was rather defiant and indignant about the whole matter, and Elrod decided to leave the group to their own devices, and fend for themselves within the dark forest. The now 14 adventurers are gazing into the depths, of the Lost Woods of the Murky Forest, unaware of the TRUE terrors lurking within!” (Dedicated to the REAL Marty Balin). /

Red Sophia says: “Well, this is a particular pickle we've gotten ourselves into. Our wizard is GONE, we're about to march head-on into a forest that NONE of us know anything about, and to top it all off, NONE of us KNOW any magic!”

Cerebus says: “We don't NEED magic to handle one little walk! Besides, Cerebus is FAR tougher than ANYTHING this world can throw at him! Whatever danger there may be, Cerebus can HANDLE it! Besides, we've also got TWELVE other dwarfish bruisers to back us up!”

Keely says: “Not to contradict you, but including me, I only count eleven!”

Doree says: “That's right! Where's Marty Balin?!”

Beefur says: “I think he went into the forest to take a pee!”

Cerebus says: “Cerebus once heard someone say, that women pee. Men--”.

Red Sophia says: “Don't even GO there, Cerebus! Most women in this world, don't actually BELIEVE in being oppressively domineering over men!”

Cerebus says: “Cerebus wasn't trying to mean anything by that comment. As far as Cerebus is concerned, it's a pretty STUPID comment anyways, and he certainly didn't come up with it originally. And whoever DID, must have had some SERIOUS issues with women!”

Red Sophia says: “But you don't have any issues, do you?”

Cerebus asks: “Is that a trick question? You know Cerebus has a hard time when it comes to answering such questions in a manner that doesn't come out right! For some reason, the comment always sounds FINE within Cerebus' mind, but whenever it comes out, it always sounds WRONG for ANY woman who hears Cerebus speak! And if Cerebus is being honest with everyone else, it's probably Cerebus' own fault! There should REALLY be some sort of place that teaches people, and aardvarks, how to actually talk TO other people and aardvarks!”

Red Sophia says: “Well, if either one of us ever LIVES long enough to get too OLD or too TIRED of doing this, we can always consider establishing such an institution dedicated to such a practice!”

Gloyn says: “Come on, focus! What are we going to do about Marty Balin?”

Cerebus asks: “What do you mean, what are we going to do about Marty Balin, he's a dwarfish man! He can HANDLE it!”

And just at that moment, everyone else hears an UNGODLY animal screech, and a bunch of birds suddenly fly out of the trees! Cerebus says: “Those better have NOT been pigeons! Cerebus HATES pigeons!, and to explain why would be a long, boring story, but take Cerebus' WORD for it!”

Thorin Oakonried says: “I know of only one thing that can make such an ungodly animal cry. The sound of a giant, killer, man-eating spider!”

Red Sophia asks: “A GIANT, killer, man-eating spider?!”

Bowfur says: “Well, this IS Melvinborne!”

Red Sophia says: “I HATE Giant, killer, man-eating spiders! Normal spiders are bad enough, but giant, killer ones are something else all together!”

Feely says: “I think Marty Balin may be in trouble! We better go in after him!”

And the adventurers rush into the forest, looking for the missing Marty Balin! Oyn says: “We better stay on the trail! No telling what sort of black magic or crafty traps may be lurking in the woods!”

Noree says: “Over here!”

And everyone else rushes over, only to see the body of one very BADLY poisoned, dead, and very MANGLED body of Marty Balin laying next to a tree, with a STILL smoking joint of Marijauna in his deceased hand. Thorin says: “WOAH! Now that's what I call, having a BAD day!”

Bombar says: “I guess that means I get more lines than! At least Marty Balin DIED doing what he loved; getting stoned!”

Red Sophia says: “That's NOT what he loved! Marty Balin loved singing! He loved it more than anything in the world! Why did HE have to be the first dwarf to die on this journey?! He was the ONLY one among you dwarfs, who was even moderately COOL!”

A creepy, but soothing, female voice says: “Your question is mine to answer.”

And through the woods, the strange figure of what appears to be a female skeleton corpse, albeit, still lovely, and strangely beautiful in her own way, appears into view. Cerebus asks: “Who are you?”

The woman replies: “Where I come from, I was known as a woman named Emily. But here, I represent the Angel of Death.”

Red Sophia says: “The Angel of Death? But that would mean that Marty Balin would HAVE to be--!”

Emily finishes: “Gone? Yes, it's sad, but true. I have come to take his soul into the afterlife, where his soul shall be evaluated for all the deeds he has accomplished, good and/or bad, and he will be judged to see what kind of life he shall be reincarnated into next.”

Cerebus asks: “Do you do this for ALL humans?”

Emily says: “All intelligent life is up for me to collect. It's a very busy job, but somebody has to do it. I liked Marty Balin's music just as much as you did, Red Sophia, but I cannot change the hands of fate, for what was a mortal man.”

Red Sophia asks: “How do you know my name?”

Emily says: “It is my duty to know the names of any that I might meet one day, including YOU, Cerebus! You're a very interesting case, to say the least! Despite not having a soul, my superior in the heavenly bureaucracy STILL wants me to keep tabs on you! It might be important someday!”

Cerebus asks: “And who IS your heavenly superior?”

Emily says: “That is strictly on a need-to-know basis, and you DON'T need to know right now. But you might find it out someday if you're lucky!”

Cerebus sarcastically says: “That's just great!”

Emily says: “Ignoring your obvious sarcasm, I must take Marty Balin away now. But don't you worry, you won't be alone for long. I have it on VERY good authority that someone is coming back to help you on the rest of your journey!”

Cerebus says: “It better not be Elrod!”

Emily says: “Nope! Somebody even better!”

Cerebus says: “Well, that only narrows it down to...just about EVERYONE ELSE good in this world!”

Bombar says: “Hey! Can we loot Marty Balin's dead body before you take him away?!”

Cerebus looks at him disgustedly, and Cerebus says: “You DISGUST Cerebus!”

Emily says: “But as a parting gift, I'll let you magically hear one of Marty Balin's tunes that he sang, before he passed away! I hope you enjoy it! I think you will!”

And everyone is AMAZED in bewilderment, as they hear Marty Balin's disembodied voice sing to them, as they reminisce over Marty Balin's time with them, as Marty Balin sings a song called, “Runaway”.

Marty Balin: “You don't know how much I love you. But I love you like the sun. I'd like to put my arms around you, And we could run, run, run, runaway. Let's run, run, run, runaway. Let's run, run, run, runaway. If you knew how much I miss you, oh; I miss you more each day. I'd really like to come and see you, and we could run, run, run, runaway. Run, run, run, runaway. Let's run, run, run, runaway. Sun is comin' and it's getting warmer, tell me spring is just around the corner. I'm sitting, watchin' all of the flowers. Birds are singin', getting louder and louder. And here I am missin' you, here I go, I'm lovin' you. Run, run, run, run, runnin'. Here I go, I'm wantin' you. Run, run, run, run, runnin'. Here I go, I'm needing you. Run, run, run, run, runnin'. Here I go, I'm loving you. Run, run, run, run, runnin'. Run, run, run, run, runaway. And if you knew how much I need you, oh; and I need you like the air. If someone should take you from me. I would run, run, run, runaway. I'd run, run, run, runaway. Let's run, run, run, runaway. Sun is comin' and it's getting warmer, tell me spring is just around the corner. I'm sitting watchin' all of the flowers. Birds are singin', getting louder and louder. And here I am missin' you, here I go, I'm lovin' you. Run, run, run, run, runnin'. Here I go, I'm wantin' you. Run, run, run, run, runnin'. Here I go, I'm needing you. Run, run, run, run, runnin'. Here I go, I'm loving you. Run, run, run, run, runnin'. Run, run, run, run, runaway. Oh, now you don't know how much I love you. But I love you like the sun. I'd like to put my arms around you. We could run, run, run, runaway. Come on, baby, let's run, run, run, runaway. Come on, baby, let's run, run, run, runaway. You don't know how much I want to run, run, run, runaway. You don't know how much I need to run, run, run, runaway. You don't know how much I love to run, run, run, runaway. You don't know how much I'd love to run, run, run, runaway. Really like to come and see you run, run, run, runaway.” /

When the song ends, Emily has disappeared with Marty Balin's body! Bombar says: “So, I'm guessing that's a 'No', on looting Marty Balin's dead body?”

Red Sophia says: “For goodness sakes, no!”

Keely says: “So, what do we do now?”

Thorin says: “For the moment, we shouldn't do anything! After all, it's bad luck to do any journeying with thirteen travelers at any one time. Unless ONE of you feels brave enough to sacrifice their lives, trying to kill off the Giant, Man-eating spiders that killed off Marty Balin.”

Beefur says: “Can we send Bombar?! He'd make the biggest meal for the spiders if he fails!”

Bombar says: “I'm RIGHT here; I can HEAR every single word you are saying!”

Bowfur says: “You wouldn't HAVE to worry about that if you stopped having second breakfast, every ONCE in a while!”

Cerebus says: “Calm down, you guys! It's getting late, anyways! We're not gonna get very far on the trail in the dark in any case, so why don't we stop for the night? Red Sophia and Cerebus will take turns keeping watch, and drive off anything that tries to attack us!”

Red Sophia says: “You're NOT going to try to do all the watching by YOURSELF again, are you?!”

Cerebus says: “Of course not! Cerebus is not foolish enough to repeat the same mistake twice! If Cerebus starts to get tired, Cerebus will wake you up for your turn. You have Cerebus' word!”

Red Sophia says: “Well, you DO have a pretty good track record of keeping your word.”

Doree says: “It's settled, then. We'll eat some of our provisions that DON'T require a campfire, so as not to draw attention to ourselves OR accidentally start a fire in this forest, than we'll settle down for the night. And hopefully, our replacement warrior will join us, by then. I just wonder who it could be?” /

Meanwhile, in a valley pass that Cerebus and his friends were airlifted out of not too long ago, the Goblin leader is BEWILDERED by the fact that his goblin and wolf army is getting SHOT by arrows right and left! The goblin leader screams: “Would it be TOO much to ask for SOMEBODY to actually HIT that ONE guy?!”

Than the warrior steps into view, and with a familiar voice says: “Didn't anyone ever tell you the secret to MY success? True beauty is NEVER tarnished!”

And the warrior is revealed to be Orlando Bloom! Orlando says: “Surprised by my sudden appearance? You shouldn't be! In any case, your forces are keeping me from joining my friends. The Green Hood told me that I would be needed to help them after all, so I've got to catch up to them! So, we can do this two ways, easy, or hard!”

And another arrow flies HARMLESSLY past him, MISSING by several YARDS!!!! Orlando Bloom sighs, and says: “Why do these jerks ALWAYS got to do it the HARD way? Even so, this might take a while. Hold on tight, you warriors! I'll be there as soon as I can!” /

Meanwhile, in the Murky Forest, it is the dark of night. The food has long been consumed, and everyone except Cerebus is asleep. At that moment, a mysterious voice that Cerebus recognizes, talks to him again! The voice says: “Cerebus, why in the WORLD did you tell Elrod to just go home?!”

Cerebus says: “Green Hood?! What is it YOUR business who Cerebus chooses to travel with?!”

The Green Hood visibly appears to him, and he says: “Well, for starters, despite the fact that Elrod has helped you out THREE times in getting YOU and your friends out of trouble, you DELIBERATELY sent him away, all just because YOU decided that you couldn't stand another MINUTE of his talking!”

Cerebus says: “You WEREN'T with us! You have NO idea how annoying he was!”

The Green Hood says: “Technically speaking, I DID warn you AND Red Sophia that he might be a little bit TRYING!”

Cerebus says: “Try, a LOT trying! Good riddance! He was an irritant, anyways!”

The Green Hood says: “An irritant who selflessly saved your life THREE times, and NEVER got a word of 'Thanks', for it!”

Cerebus says: “So is it Cerebus' fault that he was annoying to us?!”

The Green Hood says: “That's NOT what I was implying! What I'm saying is, would it have KILLED you to be a LITTLE bit patient with Elrod?”

Cerebus says: “Possibly! Cerebus doesn't do, 'Patient'!”

The Green Hood says: “Come on! Red Sophia might find it to be nice!”

Cerebus says: “Cerebus doesn't do, 'Nice', either!”

The Green Hood says: “I can see you're once again going to be difficult about this. Look, if Elrod WANTED to, he could have CHOSEN not to cast that floating spell on you, while you fell DOWN for hundreds of yards and feet down that deep chasm into Brother Gollum's lair! That's right, if it wasn't for Elrod, YOU wouldn't even be ALIVE right now!”

Cerebus says: “So it's Elrod who kept Cerebus from biting it back in the cave? Why didn't he TELL Cerebus about it sooner?!”

The Green Hood says: “Maybe because Elrod THOUGHT it would be OBVIOUS? In any case, you're in real trouble right now WITHOUT Elrod!”

Cerebus asks: “How do YOU figure?”

The Green Hood says: “Well, for starters, mere MINUTES after you sent Elrod away, Marty Balin got STABBED, POISONED, and KILLED by the Giant, Man-Eating Spiders!”

Cerebus protests, and says: “Marty Balin, was like, over EIGHTY years OLD!!!! He was probably going to die soon, anyways!”

The Green Hood says: “That doesn't change the fact that he died on YOUR watch, after you RECKLESSLY claimed that, and I quote: 'Cerebus can HANDLE this'!”

Cerebus says: “Marty Balin's death was unpreventable, regardless of HOW he died!”

The Green Hood says: “Don't you think you owe Elrod a LITTLE apology? Even if you don't, I'll tell you what IS preventable, the deaths of ANY other members of your party!”

Cerebus says: “No, Cerebus DOESN'T owe Elrod an apology; he can rot in HADES for all Cerebus cares! Besides, everyone else's deaths are TOTALLY preventable! Cerebus CAN handle it!”

The Green Hood asks: “Oh, really? Well, how can you 'Handle it', if you're asleep?!”

Cerebus looks puzzled, and asks: “What are you TALKING about?! Cerebus is NOT asleep!”

The Green Hood says: “How do you know that for sure unless you OPEN your EYES?!”

Cerebus sighs, and says: “Okay, Cerebus will open them up AGAIN, but just to PROVE to you--.” /

Cerebus opens his eyes for real, and SCREAMS when he sees a bunch of silk trails leading up into the trees and Cerebus finishes: “That Cerebus fell asleep AGAIN!!!! Red Sophia could KILL Cerebus if Cerebus doesn't save her fast! But Cerebus doesn't have time to climb ALL those trees! There's got to be a more EFFECTIVE way! Maybe Cerebus could...no! NO!!!! Cerebus WILL not STOOP to calling for Elrod! Cerebus CAN handle this! Just got to walk! Got to think! Got to walk around and think at the same time! Got to think! Got to have a plan!”

Than a lit candle (because light bulbs haven't been INVENTED yet), symbolically appears over Cerebus' head, and Cerebus says: “Cerebus has it! The spiders WON'T eat everyone else, if they're too busy trying to eat an INVISIBLE aardvark!”

And Cerebus puts on the magical earring, turning everything EXCEPT his sword invisible, and he shouts: “Hey, MORONS!!!! You forgot something! You're messing with Cerebus' FRIENDS, and Cerebus WON'T allow that! EAT Cerebus! EAT CEREBUS!!!!” And ALL the spiders jump out of the trees, and Cerebus is facing TWELVE of the creepiest arachnids to ever walk the island of Melvinborne!

Cerebus sarcastically snarks: “Yippee. There's a good DOZEN of them! Not exactly the fight Cerebus envisioned, but there's no rethinking Cerebus' strategy, now. Cerebus just has to keep slashing until these creeps drop down dead! Red Sophia's, and by extension, the dwarfs' lives, depend on it!” /

However, currently unknown to Cerebus, Red Sophia is actually STILL fine! She had woken up, and realized she needed to relieve herself. Seeing that Cerebus was still awake at the moment she left, she chose a discreet place to do her business. But upon coming back, she can see nothing EXCEPT the twelve spiders chasing after SOMETHING that she can't see (which is Cerebus, invisible), but she DOES see the silk trails leading up into the trees! Red Sophia says: “Oh, come on! Can't a lady take a LITTLE time to herself without everything falling into pieces?! And where is Cerebus for all of this?! Well, he might be up there, so it looks like its MY turn to save Cerebus for a change! I just hope he APPRECIATES it, or I am going to be SO mad at him when I see him next...probably!”

Using her sword to help her climb, Red Sophia makes her way up one of the trees, and comes upon the still conscious body of Thorin, mostly wrapped up in a silk cocoon. Red Sophia carefully cuts him free, and once loose, he wearily says: “Thank goodness YOU'RE still all right! Those spiders ambushed us! They were too strong and quick! We're lucky you came when you did!”

Red Sophia asks: “Is Cerebus here?”

Thorin answers: “Not that I've seen. Is he in trouble?”

Red Sophia sternly says: “Either he IS in trouble, or he's GOING to be! Are the other dwarfs up here as well?”

Thorin says: “I think so.” And he looks around at the trees, and he counts the silk cocoons of ten other dwarfs. Thorin says: “One, two, three, four...seven, eight, nine, ten. Yep! That's all of us, except for Cerebus, accounted for!”

Red Sophia rolls her eyes, and groans, saying: “Well I SURE hope he's having as MISERABLE of a time as WE are, right now! Well, guess we might as well get started on freeing the others! No telling when and/or if those creepy crawlies might come back!”

And Red Sophia jumps across to another tree, and uses her sword to keep herself from slipping! Red Sophia says: “Well, don't just STAND there! You choose a tree and help me cut the rest loose!”

Throin says: “Not to burst your bubble, but I'm a dwarf!”

Red Sophia says: “So?”

Thorin says: “Hello! We normally LIVE in caves and mines! We're TERRIBLE at jumping! And besides, none of us KNOW how to climb up any trees!”

Red Sophia says: “And I don't exactly have time to teach you! This mission is going all to POT ever since Cerebus sent Elrod away! That reward in the Isolated Peak sure better be WORTH it!” /

Cerebus himself is quite busy, dealing with the Giant Man-eating spiders! Because even though they can't SEE him, they can STILL hear and smell him, and they use THOSE senses to compensate and try to ATTACK him! Thankfully Cerebus stays WELL out of harm's way, and keeps slashing away at the Giant Man-eating spiders, who ooze PURPLE blood whenever Cerebus manages to successfully kill one! It takes a while, but Cerebus FINALLY manages to kill every last one! Upon doing so, he removes the earring, and puts it back in his shirt pocket. Cerebus says: “Cerebus hated to have to kill them all, but they HAD to be taught a lesson! Now, to go rescue my friends! Cerebus just hopes that Red Sophia doesn't chew out Cerebus TOO much for SOMEHOW falling asleep!” /

But while Cerebus was busy fighting, Red Sophia has managed to free every last dwarf, and they are all back on solid ground! Keely says: “Well, that was about as much fun as grabbing a bull by the horns! Don't know WHY anyone suggests you grab them THAT way, though!”

Bombar says: “So, thank you for not leaving us to rot and die up there!”

Red Sophia says: “Don't thank me just yet! We've got to get out of here before those giant creeps come back! They're not going to be happy if they come back here and find that I've managed to free the lot of you! Besides, none of you are currently in any condition to help me do any fighting!”

Noree asks: “But what about Cerebus?”

Red Sophia says: “We don't exactly have time to leave a forwarding address! Besides, Cerebus can track us with his sense of smell! We just have to keep pressing on, and hope that Cerebus will catch up to us! Cerebus wouldn't want to find us dead or killed, would he?”

Oyn says: “Probably not you. I don't know about the rest of us.”

Red Sophia says: “Trust me. Cerebus REALLY doesn't like it when somebody good dies on his watch! He's going to be trying extra hard to make sure that the rest of us are kept safe! So, dust yourselves off, and let's get on our way! I've had enough inconveniences for one day!”

And they all run off forward on the trail. Mere seconds later, Cerebus runs onto the scene, and he shouts: “Dwarfs! Red Sophia! Are you all still okay?!”

But they're already too far away to hear Cerebus shouting! Cerebus says: “Oh, Terim! They must STILL be up in the trees! Well, guess I better start climbing in order to save them!”

So Cerebus climbs up one of the trees (not easy, since he's so short, and his arms can BARELY reach all the way around the tree), but he makes his way up it, only to find that there's nothing there except for a bunch of cut, silk cocoons. Cerebus says: “What a trip THIS is turning out to be! Cerebus works his BUTT off to kill the spiders, in order to save these guys, and what thanks does Cerebus get? Cerebus comes up here to find that somebody else has already cut these guys loose! Now Cerebus doesn't have a CLUE as to where they are! Maybe Cerebus could...STOP thinking that! Cerebus will NOT call on Elrod for help! Cerebus CAN handle this! But how?! Cerebus can't see them, Cerebus can't hear them, Cerebus can't touch them, and Cerebus certainly can't taste them!”

Than once again, a lit candle appears over Cerebus' head! And Cerebus looks up, and asks: “Is that REALLY the brightest Cerebus' ideas can get?! Anyways, Cerebus can certainly SMELL them! Just got to pick up their scent!”

And Cerebus closes his eyes, and begins sniffing! Sure enough, he picks up the scent of ALL his friends, currently heading through the forest on the trail! Cerebus says: “They're all still alive! Red Sophia freed them! Cerebus should have known that the spiders wouldn't have been tough enough to capture her! Just hold on tight, Cerebus is coming!”

He hops down from the tree, and Cerebus says: “Wait a minute!”

Cerebus once again starts smelling the scents in the forest. Cerebus says: “There's something ELSE living in the forest as well! Wood elves! And they are NOT happy that their pet spiders have been killed! They've set out a food trap! Bombar, don't you DARE touch any free food! Cerebus better turn invisible again, there's no telling where those Wood Elves might be hiding! But they can't capture Cerebus, if they can't see him!”

So Cerebus puts on his earring, and begins chasing after his friends! /

As Red Sophia and the dwarfs are heading down the path, Bombar's stomach begins growling, and he cries: “I'm SO hungry!”

Gloyn says: “STOP SAYING THAT!!!!”

A few seconds pass without anything happening, and Oree says: “You're THINKING it, aren't you?”

Bombar says: “I can't control my stomach, you KNOW that!”

Red Sophia says: “Well, unless we get out of this forest, or run across a convenient market soon, you'll just have to live OFF your fat!”

Bombar's eyes open up wide, and he says: “We don't HAVE to wait! Look right there! It's wonderful, glorious, FOOD!!!!”

Noree says: “It's just a bunch of dried meat. Just leave it alone, we don't know where it's been!”

Bombar says: “Come on! You're going to say 'No' to free food? Besides, it will give us the strength to carry on in our journey!”

Thorin says: “Don't touch it! It doesn't smell right!”

Bombar says: “What are you talking about? I don't smell any poison! I've got to sink my teeth into this dried meat!”

Red Sophia and everyone else rushes forward, and Beefur says: “Bombar, DON'T!!!!”

But the MOMENT Bombar touches the dried meat, a giant rope net trap springs up UNDER them, and hoists them all up into the sky! Red Sophia sarcastically says: “Nice, Bombar! Really nice! No, really. I MEAN it! It's great! Great, that you're ALWAYS thinking with your stomach!”

Bombar says: “Would you give it a REST already?! We can't ALL be Little Miss Perfect!”

Bowfur says: “Everybody just shut up and just use your swords to cut us out of here!”

And everyone begins doing so, and Bowfur says: “Wait! Maybe, take it--!”

But they all instantly fall down out of the cut trap, and Bowfur finishes: “Slowly!”

They all get up, and find themselves SURROUNDED on all sides by Wood Elves! Red Sophia gulps nervously, and she says: “Guys, I THINK we're in trouble!” (Gilligan Cut!) The Wood Elves are dragging Red Sophia and the dwarfs down into their underground lair, and Thorin says: “We're in trouble!”

Red Sophia screams: “If you DON'T put ME down, IMMEDIATELY, I'm going to get very, VERY rough with you!” /

In the center of the Grand Cave, decorated with treasures of silver and gold, which the wood elves have decorated with silver and gold ornaments they had won from vanquished foes in many battles past, a young, cute, but bratty, kid-like elf sits on his wooden throne, holding the figure of a red-clothed man, standing in front of a miniature tower. In a creepy voice, the young elf says: “I will rule the world!”

In his normal voice, the kid elf says: “Oh, no you won't! I will rule the world!”

And the kid elf tosses BOTH the toy and the miniature tower into his fire-place, and laughs gleefully! The wood elves, holding the dwarfs and Red Sophia prisoner, bring them to the kid. One of the tall, Wood Elves says: “My young king, we have the dwarfs, and the girl, but no sign of the mysterious creature that was traveling with them.”

The young king says: “That is fine. I'm sure that gray...pig-thingy will show up soon enough. In the mean-time, get me some new toys! I'm bored playing make-believe that I'm someone called the Crimson King, trying to control a tower that isn't even a tower!”

Red Sophia says: “If I could only grab my sword...let me GO!!!!”

The young king, looks at Red Sophia, and he is instantly smitten! The young king says: “Ooh! Contact Elrod! Tell him he can HAVE the elves! But I WANT the girl!”

The tall Wood Elf says: “But Elrod specifically ORDERED them ALL to be fed and returned!”

The young king slaps his servant on the hand, and he says: “I do not take orders from Elrod, I am doing him a favor! Tell him if he WANTS the dwarfs so badly, than I GET to keep the girl!”

Red Sophia says: “In your DREAMS, Tiny Tim!”

The young king says: “Prepare the engagement ceremony! In ten years, when I come of age, I will make HER one of MY WIVES!”

Red Sophia horrifyingly says: “One of your WIVES?!”

The dwarfs don't WANT her to be married against her will, so they decide to come to her defense! Feely says: “Excuse me sir, but, you wouldn't WANT to marry Red Sophia! She's...well, she's VERY difficult!”

Gloyn says: “And...she's NOT very tight!”

Oree says: “And her COOKING is ATROCIOUS!”

Doree says: “And, she spends MONEY like a DRUNKEN sailor!”

Bombar says: “And when she doesn't get her way...”

Red Sophia loudly says: “YOU'RE NOT HELPING, GUYS!”

The young king says: “The engagement ceremony will take place, promptly at dawn!”

Bowfur says: “What?!”

And the Wood Elves begin dragging the dwarfs to underground cells, and Red Sophia to the young king's private quarters! Red Sophia shouts: “If you think I'm gonna marry that pint-sized TWERP, I'm not!”

The young king laughs: “Pint-sized twerp! That's funny! So funny!” Than he stops and thinks out loud: “Wait a minute! What IS a twerp?” /

Cerebus comes upon the scene with the cut rope trap, and the dried meat, but no sign of his friends. Cerebus groans in frustration, and he says: “Bombar, you just HAD to take the food, didn't you?! Look's like it's all up to Cerebus to save the day, AGAIN! Cerebus just hopes that they're all being treated well!” /

While the dwarfs have all been locked up, the Wood Elves at LEAST have the decency to give them a good meal and some water, to make their conditions slightly better, while Red Sophia gets outfitted with a FULL, golden battle armor, made for an Elf Queen! Red Sophia turns to the female Wood Elves who helped dress her, and Red Sophia says: “You don't understand! I don't care HOW important he is, HOW powerful he is, HOW RICH he is...but, just out of curiosity, HOW rich is he?!”

A tall, wood elf comes in, holding a little, wooden bird house. And he says: “Begging your pardon my future Queen, but our young king wanted me to give this engagement present to you. It is a titmouse, all the way from the Isolated Peak. It will keep you company whenever we have to go away on a hunting trip, or a war campaign. Have a pleasant, rest of your evening! Girls, leave her be! The king wants her to be well rested, for the ceremony tomorrow!”

And everyone except Red Sophia leaves the room, and they lock her up in the room. Red Sophia turns to the blue titmouse, and she says: “Poor little guy, I know what it's like to be held up against your will. Well, don't you worry, we happen to be going to the Isolated Peak ourselves! We'll get you back there, somehow. Cerebus will probably be a while, trying to fight off the Wood Elves guarding this place. I'll just have to see if I can't find something that can get us out of here, and get our weapons back!” /

Cerebus comes upon the entrance to the Wood-Elves underground cavern. Thankfully, the only ones guarding it are two very sleepy Wood-Elves. Cerebus says to himself: “For a race of creatures that consider themselves to be fierce rivals to the Orks, they sure don't take brilliant precautions. It's a good thing Cerebus is invisible, because otherwise, those jerks would surely hear and see Cerebus coming! Of course, normally, Cerebus would just kill them, but Cerebus can't afford to draw attention to himself right now. Cerebus will just have to play this one by ear, and hope that Cerebus can find the others easily enough. Still, Cerebus wonders when that replacement warrior is going to get here?” /

Orlando Bloom rushes to the edge of the Murky Forest, hoping to find Cerebus and the dwarfs, but only finds a message on a stick, magically posted by Elrod, waiting for him. Orlando Bloom says: “What's this? 'To Whom It May Concern, the trail into this forest is filled with Giant Man-Eating spiders, Wood-Elves, and a treacherous river. It's really not safe to go this way to the Isolated Peak. My advice to you is, go find yourself another way. Sincerely, Elrod.' Well, Elrod, I don't know WHO you are, or what your intentions are, but I do know that Cerebus and his friends are somewhere in there! Besides, how big can spiders GET anyways?!”

And as if to answer his question, twelve spiders jump out of the trees, prepared to take down Orlando Bloom! Even Orlando Bloom is taken aback a bit and says: “CRIPES! These things look MUCH bigger than what that Hobbit said they would be! Well, if I can face down a horde of pirates THREE times, dealing with twelves spiders shouldn't be THAT hard! I just HATE all these delays getting in my way of helping Cerebus and his friends!” /

Cerebus continues sneaking down the hallway, taking care to occasionally pause and stay still, anytime a Wood Elf happens to pass down a passage way. Eventually, Cerebus makes his way to the young King's royal chamber. The Young King says: “Why isn't morning here yet?!”

One of his advisers say: “My Young King, we've told you a hundred times that we're not THOSE kinds of magic users! Just give it time!”

The Young King says: “I want the day NOW!!!! What's the matter with you fools anyways?!”

The adviser says: “Ever since that mysterious event happened five days ago, when the night suddenly zoomed into morning, we've been studying day and night, trying to find a way to duplicate that kind of power, but we don't have a magic ocarina or know the exact notes to play to perform that trick! Every one of our non-essential warrior elves have been doing research from dawn to dusk!”

The Young King says: “Make them work nights!”

The adviser groans, and says: “Hey, I've got a fun, NEW game we can play! It's called, drinking under the table!”

The Young King says: “You're not even trying to sound excited about it! You're upset with me!”

The adviser says: “Well, I can't push those Wood-elves any harder! All together, they've read up to 19,000 words an hour relating to magical research! 760,000 words, they've read so far!”

The Young King says: “You promised! You promised I would have that power the very FIRST day!”

Cerebus thinks to himself: “Perhaps it would be a good idea for this Young King to drink himself under the table. Normally, Cerebus is against underage drinking. But in this case, Cerebus will make a necessary exception!”

And with great stealth, while the Young King and his adviser are talking, Cerebus sneaks over to the King's glass of normal grape juice, and switches it out for powerful Elderberry Wine. The Young King says: “You're going to be VERY unpopular around here, if you DON'T deliver soon!”

The adviser says: “You know it just breaks my heart! I mean, I HATE to see you unhappy!”

The Young King says: “You're a rotten, MEAN, adviser! You NEVER get me ANYTHING I want! And I refuse to have education lessons until I learn this magic!”

The adviser says: “My Young King, sweetheart, angel, continuing to talk about this is completely counterproductive! So, why don't you take a drink to relax yourself? We really need you to be rested for your OWN engagement ceremony to, you know!”

The Young King groans, and says: “Fine! I WAS getting thirsty, from all that talking!”

And the Young King downs his entire glass at once, than passes out like a light! The adviser says: “Wow! That was fast! Usually it takes him FOUR glasses before he's had enough of berating me!”

And as soon as the Advisor leaves, the Invisible Cerebus takes the ring of keys from the Young King's pocket, and heads into the cave system to find his friends. The first door he comes upon, is Red Sophia's temporary bedroom. Cerebus opens the door, and quickly removes his earring! Red Sophia says: “Cerebus?!”

Cerebus whispers and says: “Not so loud! There may be Wood-Elves about who can hear you!”

Red Sophia whispers and says: “Sorry! I was trying to look for something to get myself and this blue titmouse out of here! He has to be returned to his home on the Isolated Peak!”

Cerebus asks: “Isn't that a bit of a contrived coincidence? Doesn't a titmouse need to knock on a pumice stone when the last light of Dwurwin's Day will shine onto the key-hole ON Isolated Peak?!”

Red Sophia says: “I honestly don't know. But since we HA VE to go to the Isolated Peak anyways, we might as well take him with us! So, how are we going to get out of here? And more importantly, how DID you sneak past all those Wood-Elves and get all the keys?!”

Cerebus says: “It's a long story, but Cerebus will explain later. But it's a little risky for you to sneak out right now. We need a way to sneak everybody out of here, without arousing suspicion! Got any ideas?”

Red Sophia: “I have one, but you're NOT going to like it! That little...CREEP, wants to get MARRIED to me, and he wants to have the engagement ceremony done TOMORROW; so WE all need to leave here TONIGHT! And the quickest way to do that...”

Cerebus interrupts and says: “For the LAST time, Cerebus is NOT going to call ELROD!!!! Cerebus can HANDLE it!”

Red Sophia groans and says: “Fine! There's another way! I overheard some of the Wood-elves talking earlier. They said that tonight is the night they send all their empty wine barrels down to Pond Town, the human city on the edge of the Isolated Peak, that's where the wine barrels will be refilled, and then sent back here. What if we store all of ourselves inside the empty barrels?”

Cerebus asks: “Now WHY didn't you suggest THAT idea in the first place?! That's a MUCH better idea! 'Call Elrod', Cerebus' foot! Hades would have to freeze over FIRST before THAT happens!”

Red Sophia says: “Don't tempt fate, Cerebus. Fate ALWAYS has a tendency to keep the deck stacked in it's favor!”

Cerebus says: “Oh, Cerebus can HANDLE anything 'Fate' decides to dish out!”

Red Sophia says: “We shall see. Do you have the keys for the Dwarfs' cells as well?”

Cerebus jingles the key chain, and he says: “Cerebus has all the keys WE could ever need!”

Red Sophia says: “Than let's go, but do it quietly. There might be more Wood-elves around!”

Cerebus says: “You just worry about your little titmouse, and Cerebus will worry about the Wood-elves, all right?”

Red Sophia says: “Very well, then. Shall we get on with it?”

Cerebus politely asks: “Lady first?”

Red Sophia flatly asks: “Seriously?”

Cerebus groans, and he says: “Figures! Cerebus can NEVER seem to read the opposite gender RIGHT! Cerebus REALLY needs some Gender Help Lessons in his life; or something!”

And Cerebus and Red Sophia look around, and they see that the coast is clear, and they sneak down to where all the dwarf's are being held. They open the door to all the cells, and the dwarfs are all pleasantly surprised to see Cerebus with Red Sophia! Thorin Oakonried says: “Cerebus, you're here!”

Cerebus quietly says: “Keep it down! We're going to get you all out of here!”

And they begin unlocking all the cells, and Oree says: “I thought you got eaten by those nasty, Giant, Man-eating spiders!”

Cerebus says: “Cerebus would NEVER fall victim to some lousy arachnids, no matter HOW big they might be!”

Noree asks: “Are we going out the way we came in?”

Red Sophia says: “It's too risky with all the Wood-elves around, but we have another way out of here, but we have to leave now!”

Bowfur says: “Suits me, just fine! The sooner we're out of here, the better!”

They all make their way down to the wine cellars, where the river leaves the safety of the woods and the caves, and begins its journey to Pond Town. Oyn asks: “THIS is Cerebus' plan?!”

Red Sophia says: “For the record, I would've suggested calling Elrod, but Cerebus gave that a big, firm 'No'!”

Cerebus says: “Oh, would you give it a rest already?! This is a great plan! One that doesn't involve stupid magic, or talking, for THAT matter!”

Bombar asks: “Have you even considered what kinds of hazards might await us DOWN this river?!”

Cerebus says: “Don't know, don't care! Cerebus is NOT letting Red Sophia get engaged to some tyrant who has delusions of grandeur!”

Red Sophia says: “And I'm not sure whether to feel delighted, or disappointed, to know that what you just said is honestly the nicest thing you HAVE said to me all night!”

Cerebus says: “Let's split the difference, and you can thank Cerebus AFTER we safely arrive to Pond Town!”

Keely says: “IF we safely arrive to Pond Town!”

Cerebus says: “Of course we will, if you would just ACT like it, for once! Now what we got to do first, is quietly knock out the...” (KONG!!!!)

And everyone is surprised to see, that Red Sophia has already knocked together, the two heads of the Wood-elves who were in the wine cellars. Cerebus says: “Like Cerebus said; ACT before Cerebus finishes saying what Cerebus was TRYING to say!”

Red Sophia says: “Oh, don't act like you DON'T like it when I help you get out of a situation you don't like! Into the empty barrels, dwarfs!”

Feely says: “But, there isn't even any STRAW to cushion us! We're going to get knocked around!”

Cerebus says: “We don't exactly have time to go to a farm and get some straw, do we?! Just get in, before we're discovered!”

Everyone except Cerebus gets in an empty barrel, and Doree says: “I am SO going to regret doing this come tomorrow!”

Cerebus says: “Everyone, Cerebus is going to push you in on the count of three. One...”

But he just immediately pushes everyone in, and Gloyn asks: “What happened to three?!”

Cerebus says: “You would have tensed up on three! This way, Cerebus got you in when you were relaxed and calm! Now, Cerebus has just got to get in, to!”

Cerebus throws an empty wine barrel into the river, and he jumps in after it! He safely gets in, and all fourteen travelers find themselves whisked down the winding river, but its faster, and filled with more rocks than ANY of them anticipated! Feely says: “I'm getting SEASICK in here, which is really something, when we're in a river!”

Red Sophia says: “I will NEVER complain about riding in a boat again!”

Cerebus says: “Will everyone PLEASE remain calm?! Cerebus is SURE the worst of this will be completely behind...”

Thorin solemnly says: “Oh, no!”

Cerebus' mood quickly sours, and he says: “Don't tell Cerebus; we are ALL about to go over a HUGE waterfall?”

Thorin says: “Yep!”

Cerebus asks: “Sharp rocks at the bottom?”

Thorin sighs and says: “Most likely.”

Cerebus sighs, and seriously says: “Bring it on.”

And the barrels all go down the waterfall, and Keely says: “THIS IS GOING TO SUCK!!!!” /

Sometime passes, and all thirteen barrels wash up on the shores of Pond Town, and everyone gets out of the barrels, and begins coughing up swallowed river water, and taking in big breaths of air! Bombar says: “WOW! What a ride!”

Beefur says: “Yeah! I wouldn't mind doing it again! Now that I know you can LIVE through it!”

A handsome voice says: “Well, it's about TIME you all got here!”

Cerebus asks: “What is this, a celebrity convention?!”

And everyone looks at the dashing, and VERY handsome Orlando Bloom! Orlando Bloom says: “Sorry it took me so long to catch up to you, but I had to fight my way through all those goblins, and those giant, man-eating spiders!”

Red Sophia says: “You make that sound SO easy!”

Orlando says: “It's a gift!”

Doree asks: “What about those Wood-elves? How did you handle them?”

Orlando says: “Simple. I just promised each and every one of them a personally signed autograph from me, if they granted me safe passage to Pond Town.”

Cerebus says: “Well, Cerebus supposes that being a celebrity DOES have some perks!”

Oree says: “Speaking of celebrity autographs, can I have yours?!”

Orlando says: “You can, but it will cost five gold pieces just like everyone else. Paper isn't FREE, you know!”

Cerebus says: “We can worry about paper, later! For now, let's just get some supplies and finish our journey to the Isolated Peak.”

Orlando says: “Already took care of the supplies! I figured you would all be here soon enough, so I took care of everything for you! I even got some MUSIC for us to listen to!”

Oyn asks: “You sing?”

Orlando says: “Professionally? I wish! But I do have something better! THIS!!!!”

And he pulls out an MP3 Player! Gloyn asks: “What is that?! Is it magic?!”

Orlando says: “No! It's technology! It's like a tiny little computer, that can store thousands of songs within its data banks, using electricity and gigabytes!”

Bowfur says: “So it's magic?”

Orlando says: “NO! It's TECHNOLOGY! Scientists at Apple Computers spent hundreds of man and woman hours working to develop this, using micro-circuit technology, and nano-chips, in order to digitally and electronically save music that can be transferred from compact discs!”

Bowfur again says: “So it's MAGIC!!!!”

Orlando says: “NO!!!! It's--!” And he gives up, and he says: “Sure! Let's go with that!”

Bombar says: “Of course! Magic makes PERFECT sense! Computers sound like some sort of wizard's creation!”

Orlando rolls his eyes and says: “Last time I try to bring radio to the Romans, or dwarfs, as the case might be!”

Red Sophia says: “Don't worry, you're not the only person around here who has had their ideas ignored. Believe me, I know just how you feel!”

Cerebus says: “Excuse Cerebus! Cerebus is standing RIGHT here! Cerebus can see you looking EXCESSIVELY at Orlando! Cerebus knocks Orlando down THREE respect points!”

Orlando says: “Don't take it personally. Even most GUYS want me! Except for Justin Bieber! I didn't like the way he looked, OR his stupid music, so I PUNCHED him in his face! True story!”

Cerebus says: “Cerebus isn't even going to pretend that he knows what you're talking about, but he sounds like a pretty awful guy! In that case, Cerebus bumps you back up four respect points on Cerebus' Respect-o-meter! You're currently at a seven, out of ten!”

Orlando says: “Give it a while, it will be up to a ten at no time! Now, let's make the final push to the Isolated Peak, while we listen to music made possible through technology...I mean, 'Magic'!”

As they walk, Orlando plays a tune from his MP3 player, and it is a familiar song by Jefferson Starship (not that anybody BESIDES Orlando would know who THOSE people were)! / Mickey Thomas sings: “You know, it's been a long, long road, since I packed up and left on my own. And I carry a heavy load, just trying get back to her heart! (Guitar solo) I sure ain't got no home, I seem to find love where I ramble, and when it's time to go; I hear that voice again. Sayin' find your way back, find your way back to her heart. Find your way back, find your way back to her heart. Leave a message with the rain, you can find me where the wind blows. Snow across the plain, and the frost upon the heart. (You got no place to be, still you wonder where you're going). And why I had to leave, I hear a voice, and it says to me; find your way back. Find your way back to her heart! Find your way back, find your way back to her heart! To her heart! Oh, come on! (Guitar solo) I know it's too late now; but I wish I could go back in time and start all over somehow, and get it right from the start! And find your way back! Find your way back to her heart! Find your way back, find your way back to her heart! Find your way back; (find your way back), find your way back! Find your way back; (find your way back), find your way back! Find your way back; (find your way back), find your way back! Find your way back; (find your way back), find your way back!” (Echoes on the last “Back”, and it continues until the song ends, when Cerebus, Red Sophia, and his fellow warriors, find themselves at the secret entrance to the Isolated Peak!)

Bombar says: “It was sure nice getting to listen to music being played out of that...magic thingy.”

Orlando says: “It is NOT a magic 'thingy', it's--!” Then he remembers how his EARLIER attempts to explain technology failed, and he says: “I mean, yeah. It's a 'Magic thingy'.”

Cerebus says: “Why do you do that 'flexing' thing with your fingers before and after you say certain words? Is that a form of sarcasm?”

Orlando says: “As a matter of fact, it is.”

Cerebus says: “YES! Cerebus is LEARNING!”

Thorin says: “I like learning to. Like learning where exactly we're SUPPOSED to put the key into the secret doorway!”

Red Sophia says: “Well, the instructions were, that we were supposed to let the titmouse--.”

And Bombar snickers uncontrollably! Red Sophia says: “Like I said, with the help of this bird--.”

Bombar asks: “Which bird?!”

Red Sophia says: “The titmouse--!”

And Bombar snickers uncontrollably again! Finally, Red Sophia asks: “What is SO funny?!”

Bombar says: “You said, 'Titmouse'!”

Red Sophia seriously says: “That's the actual NAME of this particular bird!”

Cerebus asks: “Seriously? It doesn't even LOOK like a mouse! Who came up with such a SLOPPY name like THAT?!”

Orlando says: “I'm not sure, but I'm PRETTY sure it was an ancestor of Justin Bieber!”

Bowfur says: “Makes perfect sense to me!”

Red Sophia says: “Anyways, if Bombar can stop GIGGLING like an immature three year old, once I release this bird, it's supposed to knock on the pumice stone three times, on Dwurwin's Day, during the last rays of light, just before night!”

Keely says: “And our timing couldn't be better! It's almost twilight now!”

And everyone looks behind them, and they see the sun starting to set! Beefur says: “It's time! Release the bird!”

And Red Sophia opens the cage she has been keeping the titmouse in, and sure enough, the titmouse flies to a Pumice Stone knocks three times, and the last rays of daylight REVEALS the hidden keyhole! Thorin says: “There's the keyhole! Now let's see if this key will work!”

Thorin puts it in, and turns it to the right. Sure enough, the secret doorway opens, revealing a hidden path inside the cave! Doree asks: “Well, are we waiting for a hand-written invitation, or should we just charge inside?!”

Noree says: “Not all at once! This is a fire-breathing dragon we're talking about! We can't just go in there with our banners raised high, and hope for some dumb luck to help things turn out OUR way! We've got to come up with some sort of plan, first!”

Cerebus sarcastically says: “Yeah, good luck having THAT happen anytime soon!”

Red Sophia gets a smirk, and she says: “We actually won't NEED luck! We have YOU!!!!”

Cerebus gets startled, and he says: “Cerebus?! What about, Cerebus?!”

Red Sophia says: “Don't act so modest! After all, aren't you the one who's been saying ever since you sent Elrod away that you can 'Handle this'? What is one dragon to an aardvark who's successfully slayed a dozen spiders, and gotten us all safely out of a wood-elves dungeon?! Surely you can burgle at least SOMETHING from this dragon's lair, unless you're ready to ADMIT that this is too much for you and simply CALL Elrod for help!”

But this presses Cerebus' BERSERK Button, and he says: “Cerebus has NEVER backed down from a challenge before; Cerebus does NOT 'Apologize' or say he's wrong, and Cerebus is NOT about to start NOW!!!! I'll show you once and for all, Cerebus can HANDLE it!”

Red Sophia says: “All right then, Cerebus, prove it!”

Cerebus says: “Fine! I will!”

And Cerebus goes into the secret passageway. But as soon as he is out of earshot of Red Sophia and the others, Cerebus starts to sweat (from the heat that the dragon is emitting), and Cerebus says to himself: “Cerebus and his stupid, big, fat mouth! Cerebus has REALLY put his foot in it this time! Why does Cerebus have to be so STUBBORN all the time?! Well, there's no backing out of this now! Red Sophia would NEVER let Cerebus hear the END of it! Cerebus better put on his earring, and hope that it will be enough to hide Cerebus from the dragon!”

So Cerebus puts on his Magic Earring again, and presses on into the main chamber where the great, big, red dragon Sludge, currently resides! To Cerebus' utter amazement, Sludge is currently asleep, and resting along ALL the great, golden treasure that belongs to the Dwarfs! Before Cerebus decides to pick a piece of the treasure to loot, he decides to first look carefully at Sludge, to see if he can spot ANY flaws within Sludge's large, scaled body. It takes Cerebus awhile, but he DOES spot one TINY, exposed spot of weak flesh, within Sludge's body! Satisfied, knowing that Sludge COULD be brought down, Cerebus proceeds to pick up the fanciest, shiniest, and most SPLENDID looking diamond encrusted chalice, within the treasure pile! But this action awakens and STIRS the dragon, and Sludge, begins to speak with a voice sounding just like Richard Boone (not that Cerebus would know who that is), Sludge says: “Who is there?! Who dares disturb my slumber?! Strange, unknown creature, show yourself! I may not see you, but I smell and hear your presence! Identify yourself at once, before Iose my temper!”

Thankfully, Cerebus was well-aware on what to do in presence of an awakened dragon, and that the best move to make, was to flatter the dragon, and play on his sense of curiosity, to stall for time, and hopefully clue his friends, to ambush the dragon, before he could escape the lair of the dwarfs! Cerebus says: “The creature in this room, has been called many things. The names he is known by, include the attacker of trolls, the climber of mountains, the master of riddles, the escape artist from goblins, the freer of Dwarfs, and the Rider of Rivers!”

Sludge says: “So you have many names, yet this still does not tell me what you are!”

Cerebus says: “The creature in this room, comes from over the hill and FAR away, from another land FAR from Melvinborne. From a place that has long been forgotten by his own memory. He is one without a soul, yet is still a hero for hire, loyal to anyone willing to tolerate him!”

Sludge says: “So, you fancy yourself a hero! Surely you must realize that you have no HOPE against the likes of me! I am fiercer than ANYTHING you have EVER faced before!”

Cerebus says: “This creature will make no arguments with you there! The stories about you are all true! They don't even BEGIN to do you justice! Your treasure is WELL-earned, and your armor is certainly as impressive as all accounts say they are!”

Sludge says: “Naturally. My armor is as flawless as they come!”

Cerebus says: “But surely, one as strong and as powerful as you are, must have taken into account, that even the most mighty of dragons, must have at least ONE flaw within his incredible, armored body!”

Sludge says: “I have no such flaw! Now, identify who you TRULY are, or I'll ROAST you where you stand, impudent worm!!!!”

Cerebus says: “Where this creature is, you will NEVER find him, nor will you ever learn what he looks like! However, this creature WILL say that your time in the Isolated Peak is nearing its end, for the dwarfs will begin their...ATTACK!!!!”

And Cerebus yells as loud as he can, and just as Cerebus anticipated, the dwarfs leap out from hiding places out of the cave, and begin throwing every single thing they CAN at Sludge! Spears, javelins, hurled stones, daggers, arrows from bows, axes, whips, even hammers, and while all this is ANNOYING Sludge, they're NOT hitting him where it counts, and so he just breathes fire, hoping to HIT one of his attackers, but they all dodge out of the way! Strangely enough, the fire weirdly enough blows AROUND Orlando, as if the fire had a mind of it's own! Orlando says: “Seriously?! Even fire from a DRAGON can't hit me?! Either I have the best luck in the world, or I fight against the WORST attack enemies in HISTORY!”

Cerebus decides to go somewhere discreetly, and takes his earring off! He runs to Red Sophia, and she asks: “Cerebus, what have you been DOING?! We're getting nowhere FAST with this thing!”

Cerebus says: “Cerebus told you, Cerebus can HANDLE it!”

Red Sophia says: “How are you going to handle this?! We've thrown EVERYTHING except the kitchen SINK at this monster, and nothing is slowing him down! How could you POSSIBLY handle this?!”

Cerebus says: “Well, throwing your sword always works!”

Red Sophia says: “THAT'S your plan?!”

Cerebus grabs Red Sophia's sword, and he says: “Maybe you didn't HEAR Cerebus! Cerebus SAID; Throwing...YOUR...SWORD...ALWAYS...WORKS!!!!”

And Cerebus THROWS Red Sophia's sword at the EXACT spot where Sludge DOESN'T have, thick, scaled armor skin, and Sludge lets out a TERRIBLE shriek! He lunges toward Cerebus in a last ditch attack, but Cerebus jumps SAFELY to the side, and the dying Sludge PLUNGES down, deep into the mountain, knocking Red Sophia's sword lose so she can retrieve it, and his dying body falls down with a loud THUD, as Sludge hits the bottom of the cave, and dies his last dying breath! Red Sophia says: “I...HATE it when YOU'RE right!”

And in a meaningful echo, Cerebus says: “Oh, don't act like you DON'T like it when I help you get out of a situation you don't like! Besides, we slayed the dragon! And with minimal damage! We only lost one dwarf and ONE annoying wizard on the way here!”

A familiar, Southern voice says: “And who SAYS that you LOST me?!”

And Elrod suddenly appears, having WARPED to inside the cave! Red Sophia says: “Well, if it isn't the Calvary! Late, as usual!”

Elrod says: “Honestly, Cerebus, what is WRONG with you?! You didn't call, you didn't write, you never even ASKED for my help!”

Cerebus says: “Because Cerebus didn't want it, and furthermore, didn't NEED it! Cerebus was able to HANDLE this, no thanks to you!”

Elrod says: “Maybe, but you know it WOULD have been so much easier WITH me!”

Cerebus says: “Maybe so, but let's be honest with ourselves. Do YOU even listen to YOURSELF talk for a NANO-SECOND?!!!”

Elrod retorts: “Do you?”

Cerebus asks: “How is Cerebus supposed to do that, anyways? With one of YOUR magic tricks?!”

Elrod says: “Just because you were right about being able to HANDLE this entire situation, does not mean you are ALWAYS right about everything!”

Cerebus says: “Of course it doesn't make Cerebus right! But being RIGHT, would make Cerebus right! See how that works?”

Red Sophia says: “In any case, we did what we came here to do!”

Orlando picks up his share of the treasure, and he says: “Which means that it is time for me to get back to where I belong, to! See you in 14,000 years! Or when a BIG action trilogy comes along, whichever comes first!”

And Orlando pushes some buttons on a special watch, and Orlando disappears from the cave! Thorin asks: “Was that...?”

Elrod says: “Magic! It's definitely some of the best magic I'VE ever seen!”

Red Sophia rolls her eyes and says: “Right! I SWEAR, there are some things you men will NEVER understand or get, at least, not in THESE backwards times!”

Cerebus says: “Why are YOU complaining?! We got what we came for! Thanks for giving us a share of this wonderful treasure!”

Thorin hands over a share of the treasure to Cerebus and Red Sophia, and he says: “You're welcome! And if you EVER come back to Melvinborne again, be sure to look us up! You are always welcome among us dwarfs!”

Red Sophia says: “We'll be sure to keep that in mind!”

Elrod says: “I say...I say, what about ME?!!!”

Cerebus yells: “You'll get NOTHING and LIKE it!”

Bombar says: “Tell it like it is, Cerebus!”

Elrod says: “So it's going to be like THAT, is it?! In that case, I'll just DENY you the pleasure of being able to help YOURSELVES back to your boat ride!”

Cerebus' eyes widen in horror, and in futility, he says: “But Cerebus--!” /

But Cerebus NEVER gets to finish his thought, as Cerebus and Red Sophia find themselves right BACK on the dock of the bay where they started at, THANKFULLY still with their share of the treasure, and with Ishmael still waiting for them! Ishmael says: “There you are! It's about time you got back! I'm about to shove out to sea again! I'll give you a ride to your next destination!”

Cerebus says: “Fine with Cerebus! Cerebus was getting SICK of this place anyways!”

And Cerebus and Red Sophia load the boat with their treasure! As the boat departs from Melvinborne, Red Sophia whispers to Cerebus, and she asks: “Cerebus, there's just one thing that's kind of bugging me. How WERE you able to sneak past the Wood-elves and Sludge anyways?”

Cerebus whispers: “Keep it to yourself, but in the lair of Brother Gollum, Cerebus found a Magic Earring that can make Cerebus invisible. But don't worry, Cerebus WON'T use it to violate your privacy, Cerebus has more dignity and honor than that! Cerebus probably won't even use it unless he needs it for an emergency! Still, Cerebus shall hang onto this for now. It might come in handy some day.”

Red Sophia says: “I'm sure it will, Cerebus. I'm sure it will!” /

The End! (For Now!) /

Episode Notes: Featured songs in this episode, “Runaway”; and “Find Your Way Back”. A running gag in this episode is that Cerebus keeps saying that “Cerebus can handle it!” Orlando Bloom once again guest stars in this episode as himself. Due to “Real Life Writes the Plot”, it is revealed that Marty Balin was killed off-screen by the giant spiders between the previous part of this episode and this episode, making him the only dwarf from the book to be “Killed by the Adaptation”. Interestingly enough, all the other dwarfs, even the ones who got killed in the book, are “Spared by the Adaptation”. First appearance of Emily, who functions as the Angel of Death in this re-boot of “Cerebus”.

Personal Notes: I'm sorry it took me such a LONG time to finally finish and write the second part of this story, but I was kind of stuck about how to proceed with this story, regarding the absence of Marty Balin, who, in real life, died right after I finished the first part of this story. Thankfully, it occurred to me, that I already HAD a “Chekov's Gunman”, in the form of Orlando Bloom, so I ended up JUSTIFIED his presence in the past MORE, instead of just making him a one-off joke! Interestingly enough, Orlando Bloom surprisingly plays the trope of “True Beauty is NEVER Tarnished” completely straight, even when logic dictates that it shouldn't be at ALL possible for him to do so! We'll just chalk that one up to “Rule of Funny”, or maybe another case of “Maybe Magic, Maybe Mundane.” In any case, I will work really hard in the future, to make sure that you don't have to WAIT almost a whole year between episode stories that I write in a row for “Cerebus”. Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

Since I currently can't send a personal message to anyone in order to request another re-run, I'm just going to go ahead and re-run my latest episode of "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back" (since a LOT of people multi-posted on this topic in the past), in order to re-invigorate some interest in this topic. /

Sniz is standing on the Dock of Shame, and he says: “Last time on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back”; fourteen contestants arrived on our island, to duke it out against each other in various challenges, all for the chance of winning a $1.4 million grand prize. In their first challenge, they had to race to the other side of the island, locate a treasure chest for their team, and bring their chest back first, in order to win immunity for their team. Some chose running, others chose swimming. Bubble Bass found out the hard way, that good guys don't always do good things just because they ARE the good guys; sometimes, they need a little coaxing first! Brittany also found out, that Tigress doesn't tolerate ANYBODY who tries to just coast by on their fame alone, Private found out about Danny Fenton's UNUSUAL situation, Johnny Krill found out how HARD it was to get respect as a team leader, and EVERYONE found out about Bessie Higgenbottom's non-stop talking! I'll tell you one thing, Bessie DEFINITELY gave us the DEFINITIVE definition to what it means to be a motor-mouth! In the end, the Killer Prawns lost the challenge, and it was to practically nobody's surprise, that Bessie Higgenbottom, got the unceremonious first boot off this season! There are thirteen contestants left, and while it is still very much anyone's game, lines are already starting to be drawn, on who is useful, and who is not! Who will find themselves on the chopping block next? And what kind of a challenge will be featured today? Those questions, and more, will start being answered on a brand new Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! Lights, camera, ACTION!!!!”

/ Instead of the normal theme song open, a bunch of old-fashioned cameras are heard clicking, as all the female contestants, do various PG-rated antics, and some of them even including some of the male contestants in their antics, all to the tune of popular Duran Duran hit song! / Simon Le Bon sings: “See them walking hand in hand across the bridge at midnight! Heads turning as the lights flashing out are so bright. And walk right out to the four line track, there's a camera rolling on her back; on her back! And I sense a rhythm humming in a frenzy all the way down her spine! Girls on film! Girls on film. Girls on film! Girls on film. Lipstick cherry all over the lens as she's falling. And miles of sharp blue water coming in where she lies. The diving man's coming up for air cause the crowd all love pulling dolly by the hair. By the hair. And she wonders how she ever got here, as she goes under again. Girls on film! Two minutes later, girls on film! Girls on film! Got your picture! Girls on film! (Instrumental solo) Wider, baby, smile, and you've just made a million. Fuses pumping live heat, twisting out on a wire. Take one last glimpse into the night, I'm touching close, I'm holding bright. Holding tight! Give me shudders in a whisper, take me up 'til I'm shooting a star! Girls on film! She's more than a lady, girls on film! Girls on film! Two minutes later, girls on film! Girls on film! See you together, girls on film! Girls on film! See you later, girls on film!” / And the epic song ends! / “Girls (and Boys) On Film!” /

It is early in the morning, so early, that while signs of daylight are visible, the sun hasn't appeared over the horizon yet. Bubble Bass is in his cabin room, counting the amount of blue jewels that he received on his diving expedition the other day! Bubble Bass says: “Well, that finishes my count on how many blue jewels I have left remaining, after having to give 20% of them AWAY to Larry! Still, if my calculations are correct, which they usually are, I would estimate that these jewels are worth about $24 million altogether! Of course, there's no WAY that Sniz and Fondue are just going to let me LEAVE this game show without actually trying to play it, not after having so many contestants quit during the PAST season! They're going to expect me to actually PLAY in these challenges! So, in order to survive for as long as I can, I will need to ensure that Johnny Krill will help me out in the more physical parts of these challenges, while I handle any potential intellectual challenges that might come our way! Of course, I'll need at least one other vote to ensure our collective safety for the foreseeable future. Obviously the best contestant I'd want to have on my side is Tigress! But there's no WAY she'd side with me, given the way she chewed out Brittany the other day!” Bubble Bass looks at his jewels, and he says: “Perhaps these jewels can be my insurance policy!”

(Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “Although meeting with Larry the other day WAS a bit of an irritation in MY books, he DID provide me some helpful information, into understanding just how some contestants, aren't just good guys, they can be morally ambiguous as well. I call it a, 'Grey and Gray Morality', or maybe a 'White and Gray Morality', it's one or the other. In any case, Larry wouldn't help me until I gave up some of my jewels. If my guess on Tigress is correct, she's going to want to walk away with something valuable for all the troubles she is inevitably going to face this season! If I offer her a percentage of my jewels, she might find it well worth her time to help be the deciding vote, in any future elimination ceremonies we might come across! Not to mention, she's pretty unstoppable when it comes to challenges! Of course, that fierce attitude is BOUND to become detrimental to my plans EVENTUALLY, but I'll cross THAT bridge once I come to it! However, I see no reason as to why I should kick the dog, or tiger, as the case may be. In the first point, it would serve me no good, as having Tigress angry at me, whether or NOT she's eliminated at any point this season, would do me FAR more harm than good! There's no way I'm RISKING doing something that would be detrimental to my own health! Second, and more importantly, it would be far better for me, to keep Tigress on my GOOD side! And as long as I keep my promise, and give her a fair share of the jewels that I found, I think she will be more than willing to play ball with me, whatever THAT means!” (End Confessional) Bubble Bass hears a knocking on the door, and he answers it, and General Barracuda is there! Bubble Bass says: “Oh, it's you! What do you want?”

General Barracuda says: “I want my lost tooth! Where, is my lost tooth?!” Bubble Bass says: “I honestly don't KNOW where your lost tooth is! Can't you grow another one?” General Barracuda says: “I, am like, WELL over 47 years old! And I can't wait for like, 30 years to grow a tooth of wisdom! And there's no WAY that I trust the Anti-Fairies with THEIR magic! So that's why I'm looking for my lost tooth! And YOU'RE going to HELP me find it!” Bubble Bass says: “Look, I don't know WHAT your problem is, but even if I WANTED to help you, I am under NO contractual obligation to do so! Unlike MOST of the contestants who enter here, I have READ the fine print of the contract that I had to sign, and NOWHERE in that entire contract, did it state that I have to help you find ANYTHING that YOU happen to lose at ANY time during this entire season, whether YOU say I need to do it or not!” General Barracuda shouts: “BLONDA!!!!” Blonda warps into the room in a purple robe with a cucumber facial mask over her eyes and face, and she says: “This BETTER be important, I was in the middle of my WEEKLY exfoliation!”

General Barracuda asks: “Is what Bubble Bass said TRUE?! Is there really NO contractual way I can FORCE him to help me search for my lost tooth?!” Blonda smugly chuckles, and she says: “Hate to break it to you, but, Bubble Bass is in the right, for once! You have NO contractual OR legal power over him, to help him search for anything of yours that he doesn't WANT to! And he can legally SUE you if you try to FORCE him!” General Barracuda says: “CURSE LEGAL technicalities! You win THIS round, Bubble Bass!” And General Barracuda SLAMS the door angrily! Bubble Bass asks: “Why does General Barracuda hate me?” Blonda shrugs, and she says: “Eh, he kind of hates EVERYBODY! It's like, his thing! Speaking of a THING, aren't you going to RAVISH this lovely beauty right in your room?” Bubble Bass says: “I'm sorry, you're confusing me with somebody who DOESN'T have any standards! You know, like Snaptrap!” Blonda gets indignant, huffs, and she says: “Oh, so you're going to be like THAT, are you?! Well, just for that, I WILL inform you that you ARE under contractual obligation to take a shower with the REST of the guys, and you would be STUPID to refuse to do such a thing!” Bubble Bass is taken aback, and he asks: “Are you SERIOUS?!!! There is no WAY that statement can LEGALLY stand in court, or actually be ENFORCED! I thought that was more of a suggested guideline than anything else!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “At first, I thought there was no WAY I could take a public shower with some other guys, but then Blonda and her team of producers LEGALLY, FORCED me to do it!” /

Blonda says: “The indignity of that guy! And to think, I was once Miss Fairy Queen of 1985! Oh, how the mighty have fallen!” (End Confessional) In the public showers, Bubble Bass is standing in the open stall, wearing NOTHING but his glasses, and he's shivering, anticipating the inevitable coldness of the camp showers! Bubble Bass sighs, and he says: “This is GOING to suck!” He turns on the water, but weirdly enough, it's NOT cold at all, it feels nicely warm, but not so hot that it feels scalding. Bubble Bass says: “Wow! Do all camps have showers like this? Why wasn't I informed about this?” Johnny Krill inexplicably comes in, and he says: “Probably because you never ASKED about it!” Bubble Bass quickly hides behind the other side of the shower stand, and he asks: “Johnny Krill, what are YOU doing here?!” Johnny Krill says: “It's a public shower, what do you expect? Guys are free to come and go through here as they please!” Bubble Bass asks: “Can you at LEAST wait until LATER to take a shower?! This is already NOT dignifying for me as it is already!” Johnny Krill says: “Come on! You don't have to hide like that! Unlike SOME guys, I don't judge others based on their outer appearance! And for what it's worth, I don't think you're actually bad looking, all things considered.” Bubble Bass comes out of hiding and he asks: “Really?! I'm NOT?! Boy, if that's true, than I've CERTAINLY been going to the wrong Internet web sites! Can I at least ask WHY we are being subjected to this?!” Johnny Krill says: “I actually asked Fondue about that myself! He says they have no way of knowing how long some of us guys might last, so they're going to get their money shots NOW, while they still can!” Bubble Bass asks: “What kind of MONEY shots could anyone expect to get of ME?!” Johnny Krill says: “You'd be surprised! For instance, you'd never figure Patrick as being the type of guy who would get a girl, and yet, he got one!” Bubble Bass says: “I'm surprised that you actually have a point!”

Johnny Krill says: “You can't judge a book by it's cover, can you?” Bubble Bass says: “No, I guess you can't.” Johnny Krill says: “There's a lot more to ME than just being an extreme athlete! I KNOW stuff, but just because I do, doesn't mean that I have to let General Barracuda know. If I keep his standards of me LOW, I can get away with MORE around him!” Bubble Bass genuinely says: “WOW! You're smarter than you look!” Johnny Krill says: “I have to be! Also, I don't think you need to feel like you're being degraded here. I mean, it's not every DAY you get an opportunity like this!” Bubble Bass says: “And WHO would be interested BESIDES anyone who actually WRITES the stupid contractual rules for this STUPID show?!” Johnny Krill says: “You'd be surprised! There genuinely ARE some women out there who have a fondness for those on the more...chubby side, so to speak!”

Bubble Bass asks: “There are?” Johnny Krill says: “Why else would so many people identify with someone like Heffer Wolfe? Although, if it means anything to you, I personally think, that there's more to you than just fat.” Bubble Bass says: “And I find it kind of sad to admit that's actually one of the nicest things anybody has ever said to me. You know, at first, I wasn't entirely sure if a platonic partnership between the two of us could work out. Now; I'm pretty sure that it can.” Johnny Krill asks: “Just to clarify things, what exactly IS a platonic partnership?” Bubble Bass says: “Picture this; you vote the way that I do in elimination ceremonies, you handle the physical aspect of challenges, while I help you out with any potential mental challenges! Of course, I wouldn't expect you to do this for free! That's why I collected some valuable jewels! You could get a good portion of them, worth some decent money! You could stand to make $2.4 million from 10% of my jewels alone!” Johnny Krill says: “That DOES sound impressive! I'll take it!” Bubble Bass says: “And I'm good for my word! No fingers crossed, obviously, because I have FINS, but even if I DID have fingers I wouldn't cross them! I'm trying to play an honest game this season; so if we can be as honest as we can with each other, I think things will proceed rather smoothly.” Johnny Krill says: “I think so, as well. But, aren't we going to need at least another vote as an insurance policy?” Bubble Bass says: “I've already thought of that. It won't be easy, but we've got to convince Tigress to play ball with us!”

Johnny Krill asks: “Uh, you're talking about a PURELY metaphorical ball, right?” Bubble Bass says: “You catch on fast, buddy! But since Tigress obviously likes to win, AND likes her safety, a LOT, I think convincing her to be on our side shouldn't be THAT difficult!” Johnny Krill says: “You know, it's honestly WEIRD how you can sometimes have your best ideas when you're in the shower!” Bubble Bass thinks about it, and he says: “Hmmm, maybe THAT'S the real reason Fondue and the others wanted to do this!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “Personally, I could have lived WITHOUT that whole ordeal! But on the bright side, at least I actually accomplished something useful. I've got Johnny Krill on my side! That's the EASY part! Getting Tigress on our side will be no easy task. But then again, there aren't that many good things in life that ARE easy!” / Johnny Krill says: “You know, now that I THINK about it, I think Bubble Bass has nice...FINS!!!!” (DOING!!!!) (End Confessional) In the hotel, Private and Danny are talking to each other. Private asks: “So, just to make sure I have it clear, whenever you experience certain emotions, spirits of famous celebrities come to possess your body?!” Danny says: “That's about the way it has been working! Whenever something comes up that feels tiring or exhausting to me, that's when Rodney Dangerfield takes over! And whenever I get really happy and excited about something, that's when Bette Davis takes over! And sometimes, whenever somebody takes off my shirt and comes on romantically to me, that's when I become a young Marlon Brando!” Private says: “Weird, but good to know! By knowing that, it will certainly be easier to come up with plausible acting projects that you could be interested in going for! By the way, do you think Jenny Wakeman would be a good partner for us in the long term?”

Danny asks: “You mean, like an alliance? Well, Jenny IS a nice enough girl robot and everything, but, I don't think anything romantic can happen between us! I'd like for us to just be good friends. Besides, I already HAVE a girlfriend back home at Caspar, and I don't think she would appreciate me hanging out with other girls romantically!” Private says: “Well, you can do what you like! Personally, I'm going to be working on getting an alliance with Po and Jenny going, in addition to my penguin partner's, Rico and Kowalski! The three of us made a deal that we would support each other for as long as possible, no matter what!” Danny nervously says: “That's...good to know!” (Confessional)

Danny jerks into being Rodney Dangerfield, and he says: “Well, this is a fine pickle! Private already HAS two solid votes he can rely on, and if he gets Po and Jenny, it will be a five way block! That would leave both Theodore and myself in the minority! And the Power Panda's won't be able to win every challenge! I could be sunk before I even get started!” Danny jerks into being Bette Davis, and he says: “Of course, even if Private DOES get a voting block, that doesn't mean it will be completely solid! After all, if a WEAK link in the block should emerge, we might be able to convince the rest of the block to TURN on the weak link, and be able to survive until the team merge!” Danny takes his shirt off, and channels a young Marlon Brando, and Danny says: “Then, I'll show all those bums that I'm a true contender, and not a bum, like THEY are!” / Private says: “Some contestants don't know good opportunities when they are presented to them. Others, do. I consider myself a contestant who always looks out for the BEST, possible opportunities for me to take, and I always take them whenever possible! See how that works?! Plus, with my cute looks and charming personality, it would be pretty HARD for anyone to say no to THIS adorable little face! You might even say I'm the penguin version of Paul McCartney!” (End Confessional) Suddenly, over the loudspeakers, a LOUD, instrumental version of the “Raiders of the Lost Ark” theme begins playing. Tigress hears it in her cabin room, and she says: “If I had to guess, I would suppose that would HAVE to be the signal, for every contestant to get themselves mentally prepared for another challenge! Although, I should consider myself grateful for the signal, and the fact that I'm smart enough to recognize it when I hear it! Usually, you have to pay EXTRA to get THAT!” (Confessional) Tigress says: “It's OBVIOUS that I'm the FULL package; beauty, brains, brawn, and skills, all in ONE body!”

(End Confessional) All the contestants rush out to the flagpole area, where they meet Sniz, Fondue, General Barracuda, and Blonda, who's oddly enough wearing an old-fashioned director's outfit and a director's beret. Sniz says: “Good response time, contestants! It's nice to have a prompt response time, especially considering what the challenge is going to be today! Does anybody HAVE any idea, WHAT the challenge is going to be today?!” Bubble Bass rhetorically asks: “Finding new ways to humiliate and degrade our self-esteem in ways we never before imagined possible?!” Fondue says: “If that's YOUR definition of being DEGRADED, I'd hate to see what your definition of being ASHAMED would look like!” Sniz says: “And in response to your OBVIOUSLY rhetorical question, Bubble Bass; while that IS an interesting concept we haven't considered before, the answer is no! Our challenge today, is that we're taking a page from the days of our Total Cartoon Action days! We're going back to making a MOVIE! It's SHOW time, everyone!” Brittany excitedly says: “SHOW time?! Finally, I'll HAVE a chance to show EVERYONE just how enormously GIFTED I am, in terms of my talent! You will be AMAZED that someone as stunning as ME actually EXISTS in this world!” Fee says: “Well, I will say that you are enormously SOMETHING, but you wouldn't like what it is that I WANT to call you!” Brittany gets incensed, and she says: “Oh, REALLY?! And just what IS it, that you want to call me?!” Fee says: “Well, the term I'm looking for, I can't say, because Harvey Beaks would NEVER forgive me, plus I don't think standards would let me, not even on a PG-rated show!” Tigress says: “You've definitely got GUTS, kid! I'll give you THAT much!”

Katarra says: “Not to mention a lot of issues about being separated from her parents for about eight years of her life. It's taken her a lot of effort, and a lot of patience, for her to cope raising herself and her brother Foo for the past eight years. Now that her parents are back in her life, she wants to win something nice for her family so that they can all enjoy the good life!” Fee asks: “Now who asked YOU to eavesdrop?! My feelings are PRIVATE!!!! You want to read something, why don't you read War and Peace, and come BACK to me in eight years?!” Katarra says: “Shows how much YOU still have to learn. I can READ 100 pages an hour, AND memorize everything I read!” Fee sarcastically says: “Woo, woo, woo. Extra woo, woo, woo. Can we get ON with the show already?!” Blonda sincerely says: “Thank you, Fee! Sniz, just HOW shall I be directing the contestants today?!” Sniz says: “Actually, we already HAVE a director AND a cinematographer scheduled for today! Contestants, please welcome our special guests for today, former contestants, Lil and Stimpy!”

And Lil and Stimpy arrive, dressed up in their Hollywood best! And they're being followed by Squidward! Bubble Bass asks: “Squidward, what are YOU doing here?!” Squidward says: “Well, if you MUST know, I have decided to spread my creative tentacles, so to speak, and I have gotten an internship with Lil and Stimpy's new motion picture company!” Po asks: “Wait! Lil and Stimpy made their OWN motion picture company?!” Lil answers: “Yes!” Stimpy says: “We both got tired of having to commute all the way from St. George, Utah, to Hollywood, California. Not to mention, all the time being spent away from Ren. So, using the vast amounts of money that we have earned, we started our own motion picture company! In fact, we already have two productions on the way. TV movies starring Rocko, AND Invader Zim!” Theodore asks: “Um, are those productions called Static Cling and Enter the Florpus by any chance?” Stimpy says: “Yes, why do you ask?” Theodore chuckles nervously, and he says: “No reason!” (Confessional) Theodore says: “No WONDER those TV movies have been delayed for so long! Lil's unpredictable mood swings must make it VERY difficult to secure, and keep a FIRM release date!” / Lil says: “When it comes to perfection, a perfect movie means EVERYTHING to me! If you're NOT going to make the BEST movie that you can POSSIBLY make, than why are you EVEN making one?!”/ Stimpy says: “You would not BELIEVE how many director's who I have had walk out on me, all just because they can't take it when Lil Deville goes into one of her little jokes!” (End Confessional)

Blonda sputters, and she says: “B-b-b-b-but I thought you were going to make ME be the director for this special challenge! I have the outfit, the credentials, and EVERYTHING!” Fondue says: “Blonda, you were NEVER our top pick! You were just the EMERGENCY person, in case we couldn't secure Stimpy and Lil to do this guest spot!” Sniz says: “Besides, you've got the most important job of them ALL in this episode!” Blonda excitedly asks: “I do?!” Sniz says: “You certainly do! You get to be the CASTING director!” Blonda dreamily says: “My dream come true! FINALLY! A chance to be on the OTHER side of the casting couch! I'll DO IT!!!!” (Confessional) Blonda says: “During my life, I have had NUMEROUS call-backs and failures to get acting jobs that I wanted, more than I would care to admit! But, I have never before actually gotten to BE the one who GAVE talented actors and actresses their lucky break for the BIG time! This is my chance to be passionate about something in a way, that I haven't felt for a LONG time!” / Sniz says: “It may not look like it, but Blonda really DOES have a good eye for picking out talent! Besides, keeping her as the casting director, prevents her from causing any potentially messy scenes! She's kind of a bit of a DRAMA QUEEN, if you know what I mean! But, if I can fulfill a dream of hers, keep her happy, AND get the episode we want ALL at the same time, that is what I like to call a Win-Win-WIN situation; and I certainly do LOVE my Win-Win-WIN situations!” (End Confessional)

Sniz says: “Here's how it will work. First, we must determine that you are physically capable enough of BEING a movie star! To that end, we have devised an obstacle course reminiscent of the one found in the final Double Dare challenges! In order to play in the second part of the challenge, each contestant must be able to complete the obstacle challenge, in 90 seconds or less. Once you have accomplished this task, you must come up with a unique talent, to present to Lil, Stimpy, and Blonda, who will be judging your performances in the talent part of this challenge! Whichever team scores the most points in this challenge, will win immunity, and get the hotel/buffet luxuries. The losing team, needless to say, will face an elimination ceremony. Power Pandas, since you have one extra member, you'll have to sit someone out.” Theodore Seville raises his hand and says: “I'll do it! I just don't feel physically capable enough, and I don't want to humiliate myself due to a lack of talent or self-esteem.” Sniz says: “Very well. Just remember, if YOUR team loses, they could RESENT you for not participating in the challenge, HATE you, and vote you off a result!” Theodore chuckles nervously, and he says: “T-t-t-t-that's, good to know!” (Confessional)

Theodore moans, and he says: “Oh, I should have known that there would be no such thing as an EASY way out of a challenge! If I'm the first one voted off of MY team, Alvin would NEVER let me live it down! Why couldn't have Simon gotten picked instead of me?! At least HE could have used his brain! All I have is a sweet disposition and a charming personality! Why couldn't I have been BORN an athlete, instead of an athletic eater?!” / Sniz says: “An important rule to remember about this competition, is that metaphorically speaking, if you can't take the heat, you should stay out of the kitchen!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “Now, the teams will take turns alternating in this part of the challenge. Brittany, you will go first. Next, Rico will go for his team. Then, it will be followed by Fee, Jenny, Johnny, Danny, Katarra, Kowalski, Tigress, Po, Bubble Bass, and Private! You will need to collect six flags in the first part of the challenge! First, you must run on the hamster wheel, to lower the flag low enough so you can grab it! And YES, Katarra, you HAVE to run, and you CAN'T use your powers to float! Speaking of, just HOW are you able to float, anyways?!” Katarra says: “Well, IF you must know, you all know how I am primarily a Water Bender, correct? Well, it just so happens that water is primarily made out of Hydrogen molecules, and Hydrogen is the most abundant element on Earth, so, I simply bend the Hydrogen molecules in such a way, that they allow me to float constantly in the air!” Jenny says: “Wow! Now that's what I call, Mundane made Awesome!” (Confessional) Katarra moans, and says: “UGH!!!! I just HATE it when people ask me STUPID questions! Can't a GIRL just ENJOY her OWN private life?!” /

Jenny says: “For the record, I think Katarra's abilities are pretty cool, when they're put to good use!” / Sniz says: “Note to self: NEVER ask Katarra HOW she is able to do the things she can do EVER again! You will ALWAYS get a SNOTTY response from her!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “After the hamster wheel, you must dive into, and swim across a swimming pool full of red balls, in order to get the second flag! Next, go through the ear tunnel, and come out the other side to grab the third flag! After that, stomp on the soda gushers, until you make the next flag come down! Next, you must climb up a slope, and walk across a rope tightrope, to get to the fifth flag! Finally, you will slide down the slide, and into a giant ice cream sundae, where you must locate the sixth and final flag! Brittany, start things off!” Brittany smugly says: “Ready to eat your words YET, Tigress?!” Tigress says: “Well, excuse ME, Princess, but PRIDE always goes before the fall!” Brittany says: “Well, all I know is that YOU will GO before ME!” Johnny sarcastically says: “I would LOVE to see that happen! But, seeing as how Tigress IS Tigress, I highly doubt we ever WILL!” Tigress says: “Well, it's nice to know that SOMEBODY around here knows true talent when they see it!” Po asks: “And what am I around here, chopped liver?!”

Tigress says: “Of course not! You're just on a different team from me right now! And as such, I can't afford to show you ANY mercy! It's nothing personal, you know!” (Confessional) Brittany defiantly says: “Oh, Tigress is SO going DOWN!!!! Just wait and see!” / Tigress scoffs, and she says: “I'd sooner believe that TAOTIE could do a better job of performing in this challenge than SHE can!” / Johnny says: “WOW!!!! Tigress actually gave me a SINCERE compliment! With one, that's my PERSONAL best! As a team leader, I'm making progress!” / Po says: “I will give Tigress credit for one thing; when it comes to game time, she's always business and always serious about doing her best! I personally admire her for being able to do that! It's one of the MANY things that I love about her!” (End Confessional) Blonda is back in her coaching outfit. Kowalski asks: “Wait a minute! You HAVE multiple outfits?!” Blonda rhetorically answers: “Doesn't everybody?!” Kowalski says: “I obviously don't, because I'm a penguin!” Blonda smugly chuckles, and she says: “Sucks to be YOU, then!” (Confessional) Kowalski says: “You know, it STINKS that she's not a contestant this season! Otherwise, I'd give her a piece of SOMEBODY else's mind! Mine is too valuable for me to part with!” / Blonda says: “One of the secrets to my success, is that I always make sure to have access to the RIGHT outfit for the RIGHT situation, at ANY given time that I am called to have one!” (End Confessional) Blonda raises a green flag, Brittany Miller gets into a lunge position, and Blonda says: “Get on your mark, get SET!!!!” A horn blares, and Blonda lowers her green flag and says: “GO!!!!” Brittany makes surprisingly good time on the hamster wheel, lowering the flag in only ten seconds, and grabbing it! Fee says: “Wow! She's better than I thought she would be.” Tigress says: “So she's a LITTLE athletic; FINE! That doesn't make her any less of a detriment to us, especially if we lose!”

Fee says: “Wow! You don't give compliments to ANYBODY easily, do you?” Tigress says: “I have found that actions speak louder than words. I always prefer to let my actions, do the talking for me.” Fee says: “I try to do that to; but unlike YOU; at least I HAVE a social life OUTSIDE of martial arts!” Tigress snaps back, and she asks: “What is THAT supposed to mean?!” Fee is taken aback, but she quickly regains her composure, and says: “Temper, TEMPER! I was just telling it like it is, there's no need to take OFFENSE at it!” Squidward says: “Well, you certainly are pretty feisty, and at least you're not freaking ANNOYING like Spongebob is! I have to live next door to him, EVERY day!!!! I have to go to work at the Krusty Krab, WITH Spongebob, EVERY day! And I have to hear that annoying little laugh of his, EVERY day! Being around Spongebob is SO sickening! I HATE working with Spongebob!” Bubble Bass scoffs, and says: “Oh, PLEASE!!!! If Spongebob REALLY annoyed you as much as you CLAIM that he does, you'd simply RESIGN from the Krusty Krab, and move away from Bikini Bottom for GOOD! But there's no WAY you'll do that, because you're just COUNTING the days until Mr. Krabs is lying SICK on his DEATH BED, and he beckons for you and whispers in a soft, creaking, croaking voice, as he confesses to you that Spongebob Squarepants, is FAR too incompetent and stupid to run the Krusty Krab! And that you, the LONG suffering Squidward Tentacles, is the ONLY employee capable of running the Krusty Krab, and you will weep tears of sadness, sorrow, and despair, as it finally DAWNS on you that the HORRIBLE, SWEATY place YOU call the Krusty Krab, is the ONLY place where you will EVER truly know, feel, AND experience LOVE!”

Squidward's eyes open up wide, and in a dissonant calmness, he says: “Excuse me.” And he walks off-screen, goes to the cafeteria, and in a loud voice, cries: “AHHH!!!!!!!!” Bubble Bass suddenly jerks and in futility, covers his mouth, and says: “Dear Neptune! Was I just TALKING out loud, THERE?!!!” Tigress' eyes open up wide, and she says: “WOW!!!! Even I'M not THAT blunt, and I'm ME!” (Confessional) Anti-Cosmo chuckles evilly, and he says: “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! The TRUTH telling spell! You never know WHEN I might decide to hit a contestant with it!” / Bubble Bass moans, and he says: “I can't believe that I just ripped into Squidward like that! And from the way he's crying, I'd say that what I said, must have hit WAY too close to home for him! And the worst part of it is, I honestly didn't even realize I was TALKING until Squidward started crying! Now I actually feel AWFUL, which I never thought I could feel about ANYONE, let ALONE Squidward! I've got to make it UP to him in SOME way, but HOW?!” / Fee says: “I tell it like it is, and while I'd probably be the LAST to know just when and where I've gone too far with somebody, even I know that Bubble Bass telling Squidward off was a bridge too far!” / Tigress' eyes are still open wide, and she says: “Seriously, I honestly never thought I'd live to see the day when somebody could out-blunt me, and from BUBBLE Bass, no less! I've never heard ANYONE be so brutally honest like that! It's actually kind of bold; I like that! I could use that sort of honesty in the way I play my game this season! Just because I'm the strongest, doesn't mean I'm the most well-liked. But if I were to keep Bubble Bass in my back-pocket, he could prove a VALUABLE vote to me in potential elimination ceremonies. Not to mention that he'd be RIDICULOUSLY easy for me to beat in a final two! After all, he's Bubble Bass, and I'm...ME!!!! It's no CONTEST as to who would win THAT final challenge, ME!!!!” (End Confessional) The buzzer sounds, and everyone turns around, and they realize that Brittany has finished the challenge, with three seconds to spare!

Katarra says: “Color me impressed! Seems that Brittany isn't just all flash and pop! There's actually a little bit of substance, there! Let's see if its enough to keep her safe!” Brittany snaps her fingers, and she says: “Top that, Tigress!” Tigress' fur raises on end, much like a cat in anger, and she furiously fumes, and she says: “Oh, you just SO did NOT taunt Tigress!” (Confessional) Tigress says: “Mark my words; if we lose THIS challenge, Brittany is GONE!” / Brittany says: “It feels REALLY nice to be able to show someone up! I KNEW that all those dancing lessons would come in handy for my athletic skills! I'm probably going to regret trying to take Tigress DOWN a notch later, but it was WORTH it in MY books!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “Rico, it's your turn!” Rico excitedly says: “Bleh!” Private says: “Kowalski, Rico sounded pretty excited just then! What is HE so happy about?!” Lil says: “Oh! It's probably because he just ate a new and improved batch of Mad Dog Hoek's Explosive Baked Beans! Filled with hot sauce, Pico de Gallo, that's a fancy Mexican name for hot salsa, and Ghost Peppers, filled with enough flavor to make you go...BOOM-BOOM!!!!” Kowalski's eyes open up wide, and he nervously says: “Lil, don't you know that giving Rico too MUCH spicy, hot stuff, is liable to make him...” Blonda shouts: “GO!!!!” Blonda lowers the flag, but Rico doesn't MOVE!!!! Sniz says: “Well, folks. It seems as though we're experiencing some technical difficul--.” (BOOM!!!!) And Rico takes off like a rocket, ZOOMING through the course, and completing EVERYTHING in nearly HALF the time that Brittany took, in only 44 seconds! Lil says: “Whoo-hoo! That fake-out explosion gag NEVER gets old!” And Stimpy just sighs in pure tiredness. (Confessional) Stimpy says: “At first, being in a relationship with Lil was frantic and fun. Now it's just exhausting and tiring.” /

Rico wearily says: “Bleh.” As if to say: “Don't EVER let me do that again!” / Stimpy says: “Seriously, how can ONE girl have such tremendous energy is beyond me!” Stimpy sighs, and he says: “Maybe I'll make those TV movies go straight to Netflix, than see if I can get some counseling scheduled for the both of us. I feel like I need to re-evaluate the priorities in my life.” / Kowalski sighs in relief, and he says: “Only Rico, could ingest THAT insane amount of hot, spicy foods in one sitting, and LIVE to talk about it!” / Private says: “I'm lucky that it wasn't ME who devoured that food stuff! I don't think I can handle an upset stomach! Besides, my lady fans would be DEVASTATED if anything were to happen to me!” Fee pops in, and she says: “And by, 'Lady fans', he means his mother and POSSIBLY Marlene!” Private gets a shocked, indignant look on his face, and he says: “Now WHO asked YOU?!” (End Confessional) Fondue says: “Blonda! Clean-up on aisles four, five, six, AND seven!” Blonda scoffs, and she says: “You're LUCKY that my magic skills comes included in MY contract to you!” And she waves her wand, and fixes the course up as good as new! Sniz says: “Fee, you're up next!” Fee giggles, and she says: “Oh, yeah! I always WANTED to run a good course of Double Dare!” Jenny says: “Wait a MINUTE! Isn't your outfit not up to code with Double Dare standards?! Where are your shoes?!”

Fee scoffs, and says: “I don't WEAR any shoes, okay?! Almost NOBODY in Little Bark does! And besides, Bubble Bass, YOU, Johnny, Kowalski, Po, Private, Rico, and Tigress DON'T wear shoes, either!” Jenny says: “My rocket boots are CLASSIFIED as shoes, and they are ATTACHED to me, LITERALLY! As for everyone else you mentioned, they're not SUPPOSED to wear shoes! What's YOUR excuse?!” Fee scoffs, and she says: “I'm, like, not RICH enough to AFFORD shoes! I've LITERALLY only been reunited with my parents for like a WEEK before coming onto this thing!” Jenny says: “Well, the fact of the matter remains, you need shoes, or you'll spread who KNOWS what kinds of germs over the Double Dare course!” Rico nauseatingly says: “Bleh!” And he coughs up a pair of pretty, pink shoes! Fee scoffs, and says: “See?! There! It resolved itself!” (Confessional) Jenny scoffs, and she says: “Humph! She's LUCKY that Rico is a living bag of holding! But why Rico would hold a pair of WOMEN shoes, I'll never know!” / Kowalski says: “Skipper said, you'll never know when we might need to dress in drag for investigative purposes! That's why Skipper is always CRAZY prepared!” / Fee shows off her new shoes, and she says: “Fanciest pair of shoes that I have ever owned! Technically, their the ONLY pair of shoes I have ever owned, but who's counting?! Princess will be SO jealous, and Harvey will be SWEPT off his FEET when he sees ME again!” (End Confessional)

Sniz says: “Good! You have some shoes, we've got a hair-net/helmet for your hair! Everybody's happy, except for Squidward!” And Squidward can still be heard weeping in the cafeteria! Bubble Bass says: “Man, I just got to DO something about this!” Bubble Bass goes up to Tigress, and he asks: “Tigress, what should I do about this?!” Tigress shrugs and says: “You're asking the wrong member of the Furious Five! Why don't you talk to Monkey, Crane, or Po? They're WAY more sociable than I am!” Bubble Bass says: “Well, maybe I WOULD, except that PO is on the other team, and Monkey and Crane are nowhere NEAR us, so talking to them is out of the question!” Tigress sighs, and says: “FINE! I'll take a shot! What do you want to know?!” Bubble Bass says: “I know that you have no right to believe me, but I honestly didn't realize I SAID those things to Squidward until I heard him cry! I mean, I AM trying to be honest, but I didn't mean to make him CRY like that! You gotta give me some expert advice on this!” Tigress chuckles, and she says: “Bubble Bass, that's one of the HARDEST things about being a contestant in this game! You've got to balance being NICE, WITH being honest! And it's not always an easy balance to maintain! There may be PLENTY of times, where being nice, or being honest, might be mutually EXCLUSIVE from each other! Just because you can be one, may not mean you can be the other!” Bubble Bass says: “Yeah.” And Bubble Bass mispronounces: “Neee...eyes. MAN, my enunciating of THAT word was HORRIBLE! Obviously, it's something that I have next to no practice in whatsoever!”

Tigress says: “Lucky for you, I'm feeling in a charitable mood, so I'll tell you what I'll do, just for you! I'll form an ALLIANCE with you, and anybody else you can get in your corner. And if YOU keep being your brutal, honest self with ME, I might be willing to help YOU, learn what it means to be nice, and in turn, you get to keep being as honest as you want to be!” Bubble Bass asks: “I'm supposed to take advice, on how to be nice, with YOU?” Tigress asks: “You know of anyone else who would be so EAGER to work with you, BESIDES Johnny Krill?!” Bubble Bass gets an anime sweat-drop, and he says: “Well, you got me there.” Tigress says: “It will be EASY! As long as we all vote together, I can see ME making the Final Three EASILY!!!!” Bubble Bass says: “WHAT?!!!” Tigress says: “Freudian slip! Said, 'Me', meant to say, 'Us'!” Bubble Bass says: “Well, it's not like I've got any better options for moving forward in this game! I'll take it!” Tigress chuckles, and she says: “See THAT, Po?! I can be charitable and totally selfless when I need to be!” Po says: “To be fair, I never said you COULDN'T!” Tigress asks: “Katarra, has he ever SAID I couldn't?!” Katarra says: “Reading his aura, I can assure you, he didn't.” (Confessional) Katarra rolls her eyes, and she says: “And if you must know how I can READ auras, I pick up on the vibrations within the Hydrogen molecules in water, which is practically EVERYWHERE, and by deciphering their unique vibrations, I can in turn, find out all the information a person, or a panda, has within them! If you want to find out anything ELSE about me, wait until I write my tell-all book, in about sixty years or so!” /

Bubble Bass says: “Wow! I didn't even NEED to bribe Tigress! She came to ME! First time a woman NOT related to me has ever done THAT! And as far as being nice goes, I could probably get a better teacher than Tigress. But since my options are limited at the moment, I'll take what I can get! Besides, a 'Tigress' level of nice, is probably a level of nice I can HANDLE being! I mean, I have WAY too much dignity and honor at stake, to EVER stoop to being the level of SPONGEBOB'S annoying niceness! But Tigress? If I can learn how to emulate her, I can keep being honest, and maybe, learn how not to be so blunt! I just hope those blasted ANTI-Fairies won't be a problem for me going forward!” / Anti-Cosmo is polishing his magic wand, and he says: “No promises!” (End Confessional) Blonda rolls her eyes, and says: “Enough with the blasted delays! Let's get this show on the road!” Fee says: “I'm ready whenever everybody ELSE is!” Blonda says: “In that case, get on your mark, get set...!” The horn blares, and she lowers the flag, and Blonda shouts: “GO!” And as Fee starts her run of the obstacle challenge, everybody starts to hear some country pop music playing in the background. Brittany asks: “Excuse me, what's with that music?” Sniz says: “Oh, we had some leftover music ideas from Total Cartoon Global Cruise that we didn't get around to using. We didn't want them to go to waste, so we'll use the songs whenever we can get around to them, for here!” And as soon as Sniz finishes that, a montage of Fee playing the challenge in her fancy new shoes, is shown as Nancy Sinatra is heard singing her hit song, “These Boots Are Made For Walking!” / Nancy Sinatra sings: “You keep saying you got something for me. Something you call love, but confess. You've been a'messin' where you shouldn't 've been a'messin'. And now someone else is getting all your best. These boots are made for walking. And that's just what they'll do. One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you!

You keep lyin' when you oughta be truthin'. You keep losing when you oughta not bet. You keep samin' when you oughta be a'changin'. Now what's right is right but you ain't been right yet! These boots are made for walking. And that's just what they'll do. One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you! You keep playing where you shouldn't be playing. And you keep thinking that you'll never get burnt. (HAH!) Well, I just found me a brand new box of matches, YEAH. And what he knows, you ain't had time to learn. These boots are made for walking, And that's just what they'll do. One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you. Are you ready, boots? Start walkin'!” / And as soon as the song finishes, Fee finishes with her challenge, with six seconds to spare!

Fee says: “And would you believe that I've never had a professional day of training in my life?!” Tigress says: “You ever drop by the Valley of Peace, I might be able to show you some moves!” Fee says: “I'll consider that, IF I ever make enough money to AFFORD your lessons!” Tigress says: “You'd be SURPRISED I'm very affordable!” (Confessional) Tigress says: “Note, that I SAID that I was AFFORDABLE! I didn't say HOW affordable I was!” / Fee says: “She may be 'Affordable', but by no means, do I think having ANY lessons with her will be easy!” (End Confessional) General Barracuda claps his fins together, and he says: “Let's pick up the PACE, contestants! I haven't GOT all day!” Blonda rolls her eyes, sighs, and says: “Ahhh. It sounds like General Barracuda is in another one of his MOODS again! Fortunately, I've got the MAGIC touch to help with this! CUE the montage sequence!” Sniz asks: “WAIT! Can she DO that, legally?” Fondue looks in her contract, and he says: “Apparently, she CAN whenever she feels that the episode is starting to run TOO long, or, whenever she needs a good laugh!” Sniz says: “Man, we gotta get one of THOSE kinds of contracts!” / During the montage that shows all of the other contestants performing, a Blues Rock song by Stevie Ray Vaughan is heard playing, and it his 1989 mega-hit song, “Crossfire!” /

Stevie Ray Vaughan sings: “Day by day, night after night, blinded by the neon lights. Hurry here, hustlin' there. No one's got the time to spare. Money's tight, nothin' free. Won't somebody come and rescue me? I am stranded, caught in the crossfire. Stranded, caught in the crossfire. Tooth for tooth, eye for an eye. Sell your soul just to buy, buy, buy. Beggin' a dollar, stealin' a dime. Come on, can't you see that I; I am stranded, caught in the crossfire. I am stranded, caught in the crossfire. I need some kind of kindness, some kind of sympathy, oh, no! We're stranded, caught in the crossfire! Save the strong, lose the weak! Never turning the other cheek! Trust nobody, don't be no fool! Whatever happened to the golden rule? We got stranded, caught in the crossfire! We got stranded, caught in the crossfire! We got stranded, caught in the crossfire! Stranded, caught in the crossfire! Help me!” And a guitar solo plays, and ends the song! / Sniz says: “Wow! I can't BELIEVE that every single contestant managed to complete the first part of the challenge! I must say, I'm actually impressed!” Bubble Bass is panting, and clearly out of breath as he is SWEATING quite visibly! Bubble Bass tiredly says: “I'm impressed, to! Now let me finish coughing up a lung!” Sniz says: “Now, for the second, and FINAL part of the challenge, each team must pick three of its best members to perform their solo talent acts, in order to get judged by the three judges!”

Johnny says: “Wait! If you only need THREE team-members to perform, why did you make ALL of us run that obstacle course?!” Sniz asks: “Are you saying that you want to make TIGRESS do all the heavy lifting?!” And the camera pans to Tigress, and she PUNCHES an EIGHT THOUSAND pound cinder block, and it CRUMBLES into nothingness! Tigress breathes on her right fist, and she says: “I punch heavier blocks than that for BREAKFAST!” Johnny gets an anime Sweat-drop, and he says: “On second thought, go team!” Sniz says: “We'll take a brief, commercial break. But when we come back, we will see who has the talent needed to impress the judges on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! It will be AWESOME! Hopefully!” (Commercial Break) /

After the commercials end, Stimpy and Lil are sitting on a make-shift stage panel, waiting to judge the contestants who will be performing for them. Stimpy says: “Welcome back to Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! Sniz had to 'Powder his nose', whatever THAT means, so he asked me to fill in until he gets back! The contestants on both teams are currently grouped together, to figure out who is going to perform for us, and Blonda! Let's take a look in, on the creative process!” / The Power Pandas are grouped together, and Po says: “All right, fellow contestants! We can't get complacent! Tigress is going to pick the BEST contestants on her team, to perform against us, to make up for the LAST challenge! We'll have to perform at 110% if we want to win this one! Who wants to step up to the plate, BESIDES me?” Theodore raises his hand, and he asks: “Can I perform? I'd like to sing a song for Brittany Miller!”

Jenny says: “Theodore, you HAD to compete in the first part of this challenge in order to be eligible for the SECOND part of this challenge, remember?” Theodore says: “Well, can you at LEAST make a note of it that I offered?” (Confessional) Theodore says: “Okay, maybe I'm a little TOO obvious at trying to keep myself off the chopping block in case we lose! But can you blame me? I mean, the only contestant on this season who is even LESS athletic than me, is probably Bubble Bass! So in terms of athletic skills, I'm not going to last long if all we get are physical challenges! I have to utilize my brains and talent SOMEHOW!” / Jenny says: “Even though I've been programmed to function and do a lot of different skills, I don't want to rely on them if I don't have to. After all, I'm playing against flesh and blood creatures here. If I perform at my best, they'll accuse me of being a 'Mary Sue', whoever THAT is! So, I'm going to have to do something that isn't ALREADY in my computer programming, in order to show them that I have flaws just like they do, and become more endearing and likable in the process. The question is, what?” (End Confessional) Private raises his flipper, and he says: “Why don't you pick Danny Fenton?! He's GREAT at imitating certain celebrities!” Danny says: “Uh, excuse me?!” Private says: “Well, you ARE!” Danny says: “Yeah, but NOT on command! I can't just FORCE an imitation!” Private says: “Just try feeling whatever it is you feel, and you'll be able to imitate them! It will be a big hit! Not to mention, it will keep us having a numbers advantage in the next challenge.” Danny sighs, and says: “All right, I'll do my celebrity impersonations as my talent.” (Confessional) Danny jerks, and channels Rodney Dangerfield, as he says: “That doesn't mean I have to like it, because I won't!” (End Confessional) Jenny raises her hand, and says: “Can you pick me? I've got a juggling/unicycle act that I think I would be good at!”

Kowalski says: “Interesting! I would certainly pay to see THAT! Not to mention, it would give Rico a chance to recuperate from his explosive experience!” (Confessional) Rico nods weakly and says: “Bleh.” As if to say: “I'm done for today!” / Jenny says: “Technically speaking, I CAN juggle, but I've certainly never ridden a unicycle before, so that's GOT to be something that I can't do perfectly! I mean, a robot is only as good as the person who makes it, even though my mom IS one of the best, she's STILL only human!” (End Confessional) Po says: “And I'll step up for the team! My Kung Fu Martial Arts skills are second to none! That is, unless anybody ELSE wants to volunteer instead.” Kowalski says: “I don't think so.” Rico rolls his eyes and says: “Bleh.” Private says: “I'm fine with that.” Theodore says: “I can't volunteer anyways!” Po says: “Okay; then it's Jenny, me, and Danny, representing our team!” /

Tigress says: “Fellow contestants, I cannot STRESS enough how much I DON'T want us to lose again! We've got to make up for the LAST challenge! Now, who here BESIDES me has a talent that THEY want to offer?” Brittany says: “You've GOT to pick me! I'm only the most TALENTED singer in the whole wide world!” Tigress gets an idea, and she slyly says: “Well, that IS debatable. But, I'll tell you what. I'm in a GENEROUS mood today, and so, I'll let you go on-stage and sing WHATEVER song you want!” Brittany smirks, and says: “I KNEW you'd recognize my talents eventually!” (Confessional) Tigress says: “The way I see it, this is a Win-win situation for me! If Brittany succeeds, I can say it was all MY idea, and take all the glory. If she blows it, I can blame HER for everything, and boot her out of the game! Either way, it's no skin off MY nose!” / Brittany says: “I can't believe Tigress went out of her way to pick ME! She must be really DESPERATE to win THIS challenge!” (End Confessional) Johnny says: “You've got to pick ME for my MAD dare-devil skills! They are totally WICKED!!!!” Tigress says: “No thanks! We can't afford to have YOU damage anymore of your brain cells, such as they are! Bubble Bass, how about you?” Bubble Bass asks: “What possible talent do you think that I could possess?!” Tigress says: “Be a sumo wrestler!” Bubble Bass says: “What makes you think that I know HOW to be a Sumo wrestler?!” Tigress says: “Simple. You're fat, you're chubby, you're overweight, you're obese, and you'd look GREAT in a diaper!” Bubble Bass says: “Besides the LAST thing, all the other qualities are the exact SAME thing!”

Tigress says: “Irrelevant! Besides, I think you OWE Squidward a good laugh for the hurtful things you SAID to him earlier today!” Bubble Bass says: “Which AGAIN, wasn't my fault! But, I do suppose I OWE him! Just remember, you owe me BIG time for putting me up to this!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass rolls his eyes and says: “The THINGS I do to keep THAT woman happy! If I wasn't so AFRAID that she would kick my BUTT if I didn't say 'Yes', I wouldn't even HUMOR her! But, if it's a show she wants, than I will do everything I can to impress!” / Tigress says: “Bubble Bass OBVIOUSLY has ONLY spent about...roughly HALF his life just looking on the Internet! He HAS to have at least LOOKED at Sumo Wrestlers in action at least ONCE! And if he hasn't, at least I'll get a good LAUGH out of the deal!” (End Confessional) Tigress says: “And I'll perform the ULTIMATE trick of pain suppression! Walking across a field of HOT coals, COMPLETELY blindfolded, without flinching even ONCE!!!!” Katarra says: “Even I wouldn't be able to do THAT, and I'm me!” (Confessional) Katarra says: “Tigress kind of reminds me of a Fire-Bender. All hot-headed, and completely SURE of herself, no matter WHAT anyone else says!” / Tigress says: “If walking across a field of hot coals doesn't get ME the win, I don't know WHAT will!” / Johnny rolls his eyes and says: “I hate to predict what will PROBABLY be the painfully OBVIOUS, but I'm pretty sure Tigress just referred to only HERSELF getting the win, and NOT the entire team! It's a little self-degrading to my self-esteem, if I'm being completely honest, and I am!” (End Confessional) Tigress says: “It's SETTLED then! It will be me, Bubble Bass, and Brittany, representing our team!”

Brittany says: “Saving the best for LAST, our you?” Tigress looks at her, and groaning, says: “Eh, sure. Whatever floats YOUR boat, whatever THAT means!” / Sniz says: “Okay, the contestants are all set, and our judges are ready to judge them! Blonda, did you check each contestants talent, to make sure that they are appropriate for our viewing audiences?” Blonda says: “You KNOW that I did!” Sniz says: “Then, let us get TO the action! Jenny, you are up first!” Danny says: “Well, as they say in show business, 'Break a leg'!” Jenny says: “I highly doubt THAT will happen! My legs are made out of a Titanium, Carbonic alloy. But, you were using a metaphor, weren't you?” Danny says: “Well, yes!” Jenny says: “Okay. I wasn't initially DESIGNED to recognize metaphorical use, so it takes me a while to get it analyzed into my internal CPU memory!” (Confessional) Jenny says: “It's nice to know that SOMEBODY has confidence in me!” / Danny says: “I was just trying to be a good, encouraging team-mate! I'd do the same for anybody else!” (End Confessional)

Sniz asks: “Blonda, what is Jenny's talent?!” Blonda says: “Riding on a unicycle while juggling!” Johnny says: “I'm glad you didn't pick ME, Tigress! That was actually one of MY ideas!” Tigress says: “She doesn't got this! I'd give her five minutes, TOPS, before she BLOWS it!” Sniz says: “Blonda, some appropriate juggling music!” Blonda pulls out an old-fashioned boom-box, and plays some familiar stock music! Predictably, even WITH her robotic skills, Jenny is having a HARD time balancing ON the unicycle, and juggling a BUNCH of house-hold items at the same time! Po says: “WOW! I haven't seen ANYBODY so frantic since the time Tigress tried to balance FOUR spinning plates on four spinning sticks for 45 minutes, ALL at the same time!” Theodore asks: “How could she balance four?” Po says: “She balanced one on her NOSE!!” Theodore says: “WOW!!!!” (Confessional) Theodore says: “On second thought, maybe it's a GOOD thing I'm not competing in this part of the challenge. Singing just seems to be so...inadequate of a talent for trying to win this thing!” (End Confessional) Kowalski crunches some numbers on a calculator, and he says: “Judging by the speed that she's juggling the balls, and her imperfect balance on the unicycle, I predict she has only 35 seconds before--.” Jenny says: “WOAH!!!!” And she falls backwards OFF of her unicycle, and all the stuff she was juggling falls DOWN to the ground! Kowalski says: “Make that 3.5 seconds before she falls to the ground!” Jenny nervously giggles, and she says: “Ta-dah! I...meant to do that!” (Confessional) Jenny says: “Honestly, I lasted about 55 seconds LONGER than I thought I would. That was actually my personal best!” (End Confessional)

Sniz says: “Judges, what do YOU have to say?” Stimpy says: “That was a GREAT act of comedy and humor! ANYONE can do a STANDARD juggling routine, but it takes REAL talent to make people laugh! I'd give it an 8 out of 10!” Lil says: “Eh, in my opinion. There just weren't enough explosions for my taste. I'd give it a 4 out of 10.” Blonda says: “If she REALLY wanted to impress me, she should have worn something flashy and DAZZLING! I'd give it a 2 out of 10!” Sniz says: “So, Jenny has 14 out of 30 points! This is the score to beat! Tigress, you're up next!” Tigress says: “Stand back, as I put this ENTIRE challenge away!” And Fee just rolls her eyes in dis-belief! (Confessional) Fee says: “If you ask me, she needs to put her EGO away before she hurts herself!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “Blonda, play some appropriate music for the occasion!” Blonda says: “No problem! I'll play The Jimi Hendrix Experience, and their song, called, Fire!”

And sure enough, while Tigress is walking back and forth across the field of hot coals, without even flinching ONCE, Jimi Hendrix is singing, and he sings: “Alright, now listen, baby. You don't care for me, I don'-a care about that. Gotta new fool, ha! I like it like that! I have only one burning desire! Let me stand next to your fire! Let me stand next to your fire! Let me stand next to your fire! Let me stand next to your fire! Let me stand next to your fire! Let me stand next to your fire! Listen here, baby; and stop acting so crazy! You say your mum ain't home, it ain't my concern, just play with me and you won't get burned! I have only one itching desire! Let me stand next to your fire! Let me stand next to your fire! Let me stand next to your fire! Let me stand next to your fire! Let me stand next to your fire! Let me stand next to your fire! Oh! Move over, Rover, and let Jimi take over! Yeah, you know what I'm talking 'bout! Yeah, get on with it, baby! That's what I'm talking 'bout! Now dig this! Ha! Now listen, baby! You try to gimme your money; you better save it, babe! Save it for your rainy day. I have only one burning desire, let me stand next to your fire! Let me stand next to your fire!” / And the song ends as Tigress finishes crossing the second time, and takes her blind-fold off! Tigress says: “Well, was I HOT, or WHAT?!” Fee says: “I'd go with, 'Or what?'; personally!” Sniz says: “Judges, what say you?” Stimpy says: “Personally, I don't SEE anything funny about walking across a field of hot coals! I'd give it a 4 out of 10 at best.” Lil says: “Now THAT'S the kind of action I'm talking about! Something hot, something FIERY, something EXCITING! I'd give it a 9 out of 10!” Blonda says: “Personally, I can't see MYSELF walking on a field of hot coals, but I LOVE the way she DRESSES! Eh, I'd give her an 8 out of 10!”

Sniz says: “And just like that, Tigress is in the lead with 21 out of 30 points!” Tigress says: “I have SO got this in the bag!” And Kowalski shakes his head. (Confessional) Kowalski says: “In my personal experience, anytime someone says they have it in the bag, whatever THAT means, it ALWAYS means that they DON'T have it in the bag, ironically enough!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “All right! Po, you're up next!” Tigress says: “Hold it! Bubble Bass would like to CHALLENGE Po in a display of strength and skill with THIS challenge!” General Barracuda asks: “Say, Fondue! Can Bubble Bass DO that?!” Fondue looks in the rule book, and he says: “Well, it IS a little unusual. But if he HAS a valid challenge, we CAN'T refuse! And Tigress looks SO sure about this!” Bubble Bass says: “EXCUSE me, why do YOU want to challenge ME, to fight Po?!” Tigress says: “Well, you've got to fight SOMEBODY, and with YOUR immense weight, Po can't just pick you up and THROW you out of the ring! And you might even kick his BUTT if you're lucky!” Bubble Bass says: “You just want to get back at Po for beating YOU in the last challenge, DON'T you?!” Tigress says: “I would be LYING if I said that such a thought never crossed MY mind!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “Once again, that irritating thing known as 'Irony', has shown me that there can be FAR more annoying women I can meet than my own mom! Namely, Tigress! I'm starting to think that SHE'S got even MORE of an antagonistic streak than I do! And I'm not even TRYING to be antagonistic! In fact, I think I've been EXTREMELY patient and forgiving with HER, all things considered! She just BETTER not try and push me TOO far! Even I have my limits, such as they are!” /

Tigress says: “Po, you are going to find out just how HARD a sumo wrestler can fight! Or at the very least, find out just how HEAVY a sumo wrestler can get! Either way, I'm SURE to enjoy myself!” (End Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “Fine, I'll do it. But I'm NOT wearing a diaper!” Tigress says: “Eh, fair enough. You look more appropriate as you are, in all honesty.” Sniz says: “All right, judges! We have a FIGHT off for this talent! TWO contestants for the price of one!” Lil says: “Now THIS is the kind of excitement I LIKE!” Stimpy says: “I just hope something FUNNY happens!” Blonda says: “Neither ONE of them is wearing something particularly flashy!” Sniz says: “Blonda, play some appropriate music!” Blonda says: “And here, I thought my collection of Weird Al Yankovic music would NEVER pay off!” Blonda puts another cassette in the Boom-box, and the song, “Fat,” plays, while Po and Bubble Bass SPAR against each other! /

Weird Al sings: “Your butt is wide, well mine is, too. Just watch your mouth, or I'll sit on you. The word is out, better treat me right, cause I'm the king of cellulite. Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right! My zippers bust, my buckles break! I'm too much man for you to take! The pavement cracks when I fall down! I've got more chins than Chinatown! Well, I've never used a phone booth, and I've never seen my toes. When I'm goin' to the movies, I take up seven rows because I'm fat, I'm fat, really, really fat. You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know; really, really fat. You know I'm fat, I'm fat, come on, you know! Don't you call me pudgy, portly, or stout, just tell me once again who's fat? When I walk out to get my mail, it measures on the Richter scale. Down at the beach I'm a lucky man, I'm the only one who gets a tan. If I have one more pie a la mode. I'm gonna need my own zip code. When you're only having seconds, I'm a' having twenty-thirds. When I go to get my shoes shined, I gotta take their word because I'm fat, I'm fat, really, really fat. You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know; really really fat. You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it you know! And my shadow weighs at forty-two pounds, lemme tell you once again who's fat! (Musical Break) If you see me comin' your way, better give me plenty space. If I tell you that I'm hungry, then won't you feed my face? Because I'm fat, I'm fat, really, really fat. You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know; really, really fat. You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it, you know! When I sit around the house I REALLY sit around the house! You know I'm fat, I'm fat, really, really fat. You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it; really, really fat. You know, you know, you know, come on! And you know, all by myself, I'm a crowd. Lemme tell you once again! You know I'm HUGE, I'm fat, you know it! Really, really fat. You know I'm fat, you know; Woo! Really, really fat. You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it, you know! And the whole world knows I'm fat, and I'm proud, just tell me once again who's fat?!” /

And the song ends as both Po and Bubble Bass collapse in a heap next to each other, to exhausted to continue! Sniz says: “Uh, I have NO idea who won THAT one! Judges, what do YOU have to say?” Stimpy says: “Well, they WERE both pretty good fighters! But I have to say, I like watching Po fight more than I do Bubble Bass! I'd give Po an 8 out of 10 and Bubble Bass a 6 out of 10.” Lil says: “I agree. Bubble Bass good, Po is better! I'd give them both the same that Stimpy gave them!” Blonda says: “Maybe it's the fact that I love me some BAD boys, but I love me some Bubble Bass! I'll give him an 8 out of 10, and Po a 6 out of 10! Bubble Bass says: “If I'm her idea of a BAD boy, imagine what a truly TERRIBLE guy must be like!” Sniz says: “So, that means Bubble Bass has 20 out of 30 points, while Po has 22 out of 30 points! He's just one point ahead of Tigress!” Tigress says: “Oh, SURE!!!! Rub SALT in my wound, why don't YOU?!” Po says: “It's not like Crane, Mantis, and Viper are the ones doing the judging!” Tigress says: “Of course not! Because if they WERE, I'd have an insurmountable LEAD!!!!” (Confessional) Tigress says: “Imagine! Twelve YEARS of training myself to walk across hot coals, and it DOESN'T even get me more points than Po has! Brittany had BETTER step up to the plate, or she is GONE!!!!” / Bubble Bass says: “You know, I'm actually SURPRISED by how long I lasted against Po! I'm kind of proud of myself. Maybe there IS more to me than just fat. Uh, that, didn't come out right.” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “Next up, it's Danny Fenton, doing celebrity impersonations!” Po says: “You've got this Danny, just knock them dead! Not, literally, of course!” Danny approaches the stage, pulls up a rocking chair, and he jerks, and channels Rodney Dangerfield!

Danny says: “You know, kids these days don't seem to know how good they got it; walking around with their Nintendo Switches and what not! You know in my day, if we wanted entertainment, we actually played a game called Kick the can! A can that cost TEN cents mind you, and we'd play with it for HOURS at a time, and we thought that was high tech! And speaking of cans, instead of cell phones, we'd string up two cans together, in order to make a make-shift telephone! THAT was the height of technology for us!” Than Danny jerks and channels Bette Davis! Danny says: “And MOVIES were filled with SUCH glamorous stars! Greta Garbo, and Monroe, Dietrich, Judy Garland, Doris Day, James Dean, Grace Kelly, Harlow Jean, Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers, Rita Hayworth, Lauren Bacall, Katherine Hepburn, Audrey Hepburn, and my personal favorite, Bette Davis! I know that one day, I shall experience the heights of fame that SHE once did, REALLY I will!” Than Danny takes off his shirt, and channels a young Marlon Brando! Danny says: “Because I tell you, the only thing worse than NOT getting famous, is being a young punk nobody! I want to HAVE a shot, I want to be a contender, STELLA!!!!” Than Danny puts his shirt back on, and resuming Rodney Dangerfield, he says: “That would be the name of a VERY pretty cat, who would probably get more respect than I do!” And Danny bows, and jerks back to normal, and the judges give him a ROUND of applause! Stimpy says: “I haven't heard comedy like THAT in a LONG time! I'd give it a 10 out of 10!” Lil says: “Eh, could have used more explosions. But I liked it, I'll give it a 9 out of 10.” Blonda says: “Been a long time since I heard most of THOSE famous names used! It was WONDERFUL! I'd give it a 10 out of 10!”

Sniz says: “That means Danny is now in the lead with 29 out of 30 points! Brittany, you'll have to score a PERFECT 30 out of 30 points in order to beat Danny!” Brittany says: “Don't worry, I've got JUST the thing! A brand new, musical genre that I JUST came up with! A mix between Rap and Country! I call it...CRAPTRY!!!!” Tigress says: “What an ASTONISHINGLY appropriate name for it!” Brittany says: “Since I don't have my sisters with me, Blonda, would YOU supply the appropriate music?” Blonda chuckles, and she says: “This is going to be MORE embarrassingly BAD than the time Britney Spears got married to a guy for ONLY 50 or so odd hours!” And Blonda plays country music on the Boom-box, and Brittany Miller sings (in her chipmunk voice), an altered version of “Achy Breaky Heart!” /

Brittany sings: “You can tell the world you never was my guy, you can burn my clothes up when I'm gone! You can tell your friends just what a fool I've been, and laugh and joke about me on the phone! You can tell my arms: go back to the farm. You can tell my feet to hit the floor! Or you can tell my lips to tell my fingertips, they won't be reaching out for me no more. But don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart. I just don't think she'd understand. And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart, she might blow up and kill this woman! You can tell your mom I moved to Arkansas! You can tell your dog to bite my leg. Or tell your brother Cliff, whose fist can tell my lip, he never really liked me anyway. Or tell your Aunt Louise, tell anything you please. Myself; I already know I'm not OK. Or you can tell my eyes to watch out for my mind; it might be walking out on me today. But don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart. I just don't think she'd understand! And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart, she might blow up and kill this woman! Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart. I just don't think she'd understand. And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart, she might blow up and kill this woman!” (Instrumental finish) / The song ends as the music is apparently SO bad, it actually causes the boom-box to EXPLODE, and causes a piece of shrapnel to HIT Anti-Cosmo! Anti-Cosmo says: “I am REALLY getting sick of stuff hitting me!” Sniz says: “UGH!!!! That was AWFUL!!!! Who taught you to SING?!!! Judges?!” Stimpy says: “I did some...questionable stuff on MY show, but that was AWFUL!!!! NEGATIVE 10 out of positive 10!” Lil says: “I can't say I liked that, even WITH the explosion! I mean, I COULD, but that would be a LIE! Zero out of TEN!!!!”

Blonda says: “Normally, I actually LIKE a good disaster, but, I can't like whatever THAT was! I'll ALSO give it a NEGATIVE 10 out of positive 10!” Sniz says: “Wow! So that means, Brittany actually LOST points, which is ALMOST like she almost COMPLETELY negated TIGRESS' performance! In any case, that means that by winning 29 out of 30 points, Danny is the most TALENTED contestant of this challenge, and he WINS the challenge with the REST of the Power Pandas! Killer Prawns, you will once again have to send someone to the Slingshot of Shame!” Tigress screams: “BRITTANY, you JERK!!!! You COST US the GAME!!!!” Johnny says: “Oh, so NOW it's 'US', and not, 'You'!” Tigress says: “Stay out of this! Brittany, YOU are DEAD; metaphorically speaking!” Brittany Miller fumes, and says: “Oh, you are SO lucky that I can't get a hold of my entourage right now!” (Confessional) Tigress says: “Well, THAT could have gone better. In fact, it couldn't have GONE any worse! The NERVE of that chipmunk, deciding to pollute MY precious ear drums with THAT awful song! Honestly, what could she have been THINKING, choosing a song like THAT?!!!” / Brittany says: “Honestly, that song sounds a LOT better in the studio! I did NOT have the right acoustics to get the sound right!” / Bubble Bass says: “So, I talked with Squidward, and apologized for what I said before. He actually saw my performance, and he thought that it was pretty cool that I was willing to willingly put myself up for potential humiliation against Po, and actually manage to end up coming out almost even with him. He was really impressed by it. I also think that Tigress has more respect for me than she did before; especially since I willingly put myself out like that. And if she respects me, it's going to make things a lot easier for us going forward.” / Katarra says: “For Brittany, it is ALL over but the shouting!” (End Confessional)

The Killer Prawns are once again facing an Elimination Ceremony! Sniz says: “Wow! Twice in two challenges! How does a team, with TIGRESS in it, manage to lose not once, but TWO challenges in a row!” Tigress says: “Well, thanks to some certain woman who shall FOREVER remain BRITTANY, she has caused us nothing but misery and grief during her time here! It's time to cut the DEAD weight!” Brittany says: “You just don't know how to utilize my TALENTS correctly!” Tigress says: “Well, maybe I COULD, if you HAD any ACTUAL talents to utilize!” Fee says: “OOH, BURN!!!!” Johnny says: “Can't say I don't agree with Tigress, because I do! The dead weight has GOT to go!” Brittany says: “SERIOUSLY?!” Bubble Bass says: “See you, wouldn't want to BE you!” Sniz says: “All right! Enough chatting! It's time for the vote-off to commence!” (Confessional) The contestants are choosing from Playing Cards, with the contestants faces on them, to decide which one they want to mark over with an X, to signify their vote to eliminate said contestant! Brittany says: “Since voting for Tigress would probably get me DESTROYED, I'll settle for voting off Fee!” / Bubble Bass says: “Sorry, Brittany, it's nothing personal, but you stink WORSE, than the daily special at the Chum Bucket!” / Fee says: “I mean no offense to you, Brittany, but it's either you, or me; and I have NO intention of leaving YET!” / Johnny says: “I'll be glad to get rid of YOU, Brittany! Little Miss NO Talent!” / Katarra says: “Statistically Brittany, you were ALWAYS going to be an early boot!” / Tigress says: “Bye-Bye Brittany! Hope to see YOU again, NEVER!!!!” (End Confessional)

Sniz says: “I've got five safe marshmallows; plus ONE potentially hazardous Anti-Fairy marshmallow! When I call your name, you will receive a safe marshmallow. Whoever DOESN'T get a safe marshmallow, must immediately pack their things, and head for the Slingshot of Shame! You will be eliminated, and you will PROBABLY never come back, EVER! Tigress! Johnny, Bubble Bass, Katarra!” Brittany and Fee angrily look at each other, knowing that ONE of them is trying to vote the other off! Sniz says: “Girls, I've only got one safe marshmallow left. And it's going to...FEE!!!!” Brittany says: “WHAT?!!! YIKES!!!!” And Brittany NARROWLY dodges the Anti-Fairy marshmallow, as it lands on a dead plant, and the plant instantly BURNS up! Fee says: “I am SO glad that wasn't me! Harvey would be CRUSHED if something happened to MY hair!” Sniz says: “Brittany, the team has spoken! It's time for you to go!” / All of Brittany's bags are loaded up in the slingshot, and Brittany has been fitted with her safety gear! Brittany asks: “Um, don't I get a last request; like, singing a song that says something like, 'My Heart Will Go On?!!!” Tigress says: “You'll get NOTHING and LIKE it!!!!” Johnny says: “Tell it like it is, girl!” General Barracuda says: “You heard them! GET, while the getting is still GOOD!!!!” (SPROING!!!!) Brittany screams: “WOAH, woah, WOAH!!!!” As she soars out of sight! Sniz says: “Whoo! Two down, and twelve to go! We still have an interesting array of contestants competing against each other! With the dead weight gone, the Killer Prawns are now well-positioned to make a come-back in the next challenge! If you want to find out if they do, be sure to tune in next time, for another exciting episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! It's going to be fun!” /

Episode Notes: Contestants remaining: Bubble Bass (Killer Prawn); Danny Fenton (Power Panda); Fee (Killer Prawn); Jenny Wakeman (Power Panda); Johnny Krill (Killer Prawn); Katarra (Killer Prawn); Kowalski (Power Panda); Po (Power Panda); Private (Power Panda); Rico (Power Panda); Theodore Seville (Power Panda); Tigress (Killer Prawn). / Eliminated: #14, Bessie Higgenbottom (“The Mighty B!”). / #13: Brittany Miller (“Alvinnn!!!! And the Chipmunks”). Featured songs in this episode: “Girls On Film” (Also part of the episode title); “These Boots Are Made For Walking; Crossfire; Fire; Fat;” and an altered version of “Achy Breaky Heart”. Bubble Bass officially forms an alliance with Johnny Krill and Tigress. Danny Fenton's confirmed celebrities that he can channel so far, are Rodney Dangerfield, Bette Davis, and a young Marlon Brando.

Personal Notes: This episode, was mostly me trying to find new ways to work with characters who, besides Po and Tigress, I haven't gotten much of a chance to work with. I really hope to try and find new nuances with characters, and find new ways for characters to interact with each other. And the best way I could do that, was by trying to create a brand new episode from scratch. Sure, it's a lot harder than trying to copy a pre-existing episode, but I think the end result is definitely much more fun and original to write as a result! Brittany Miller singing an altered version of “Achy Breaky Heart”, is actually a reference to the fact that Alvin and the Chipmunks (as a band) actually HAVE at ONE point, actually COVERED that song on one of their albums! I'm NOT even KIDDING you; look it up! Needless to say, I wanted to take this opportunity to point out that yes, there are SOME retro songs that even I wouldn't like to touch, not even with a, 39 and a half foot pole! Needless to say, Brittany is gone from the competition, but this might NOT be the last we've heard from her! You'll just have to wait and see! / That's it for my episode idea for today! Enough said, true believers!

[Old Man Jenkins]

It's kind of a bitch for me to copy and paste Deathmatch episodes in full, so here's the link to the one I'm trying to rerun.

https://www.thesbcommunity.com/forums/topic/7656-community-peacematch-beyond-redemption/?do=findComment&comment=872720

this is totally not to hype up the series finale

[4EverGreen]

Here's a re-run of the last "Power Rangers: Multiverse Force" episode that I wrote! I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I did writing it! /

(Cold Open):

Words on the screen appear, and they say: Briarwood, Mother's Day, 2014.

The scene opens up on Rita, now more commonly known as the Magi-Mother, putting up the finishing touches on a Mother's Day Celebration for herself, and she sings: “Happy Mother's Day, to me. Happy Mother's Day, to me. Happy Mother's Day, to ME!!!! Happy Mother's Day, TO me!”

And Captain Retro suddenly comes in, and he says: “Um, have I come in at a bad time?”

The Magi-Mother says: “Absolutely not! You're actually right on time! Come, take a seat wherever you want!”

And Captain Retro picks the stump that looks most comfortable to him, and he says: “I sure wish you would get some ACTUAL furniture in this base of yours!”

The Magi-Mother says: “It's on order. It should be here in about 150 years. By that time, Chicago will be known as Neo Chicago!”

Captain Retro says: “Don't give me spoiler alerts, you know I don't like that! How am I supposed to ACT surprised once Star Wars: The Force Awakens comes out, and everyone's going to wonder how come I don't act all aghast when you-know-who gets killed! Everyone KNOWS that you have to WAIT until eighteen years AFTER something has come out before you can actually spoil it!”

The Magi-Mother sighs and says: “I said I was SORRY about that! It's just that once you've learned to see the past, present, and some of the future simultaneously as I have, you sometimes forget that others who might also have that ability, might not want things to be spoiled the way that I do. Anyways, I'm glad you're here to help me celebrate Mother's Day. Training you to be a hero, is probably the closest I'm ever going to BE, in being an actual mother!”

Captain Retro says: “I wouldn't know about that. After all, the future is a LONG time for you. Besides, how long have you and the Magi-Father already been alive? You probably both have at LEAST a thousand years still left in you!”

The Magi-Mother says: “Well, probably. But I didn't invite you here just to help me celebrate Mother's Day, I've actually asked you here, for something very important!”

Captain Retro asks: “What's that?”

The Magi-Mother sighs, and says: “The Dog Guardian, Clifford, has decided that it is time for him, to once again choose a mortal body to act as his avatar, and the candidate he thinks would be the best option for him, would be you!”

Captain Retro is surprised, and he asks: “Me?! Why would he pick me?!”

The Magi-Mother says: “The Guardian's work in mysterious ways, Captain Retro. But I know that he wouldn't have even CONSIDERED you, if you didn't already have something inside of yourself that could handle his type of power and clairvoyance.”

Captain Retro says: “I'm very well aware of Clifford's abilities, and I am willing to allow Clifford to have access to my mind in order to help me. But...it's not that simple, is it?”

The Magi-Mother sighs, and says: “Your insight serves you well, Captain Retro. It most certainly is not! There is a reason, why I put my base of operations here. You see, Briarwood, is one of only many places on Earth, where the forces of the Morphing Grid, the magical realm, and access to the domain of the Guardian's, as well as time, space, and other dimensions themselves, all converge! In the forest around us, is where you will be tested! There are many things in there, not all of them good. If you are to become Clifford's new avatar, you must go in there, and conquer every single one of your fears, before you are deemed worthy to be Clifford's new avatar.”

Captain Retro asks: “How long will the test take?”

The Magi-Mother says: “About four months, if you are successful. And the last month will seem like the LONGEST of them all, as you will be tested by time distortions, and your body is pushed to it's absolute endurance! But if you make it through the test, you will have access to abilities and powers, that used to seem impossible to you before!”

Captain Retro asks: “If this test can help give ME such great powers, why haven't any ACTUAL Power Rangers ever taken this test yet?”

The Magi-Mother seriously says: “Do you remember the movie Men In Black 3? Well, what Agent K said was true. Don't ask questions, you don't want to know the answer to.”

Captain Retro seriously replies: “So it's one of THOSE deals! Very well, then! It certainly wouldn't be the FIRST time I've gone through something difficult, and it probably won't be the last! But there is one thing I WOULD like to know the answer to! What exactly IS in the forest?”

The Magi-Mother replies: “Only what you take with you.”

Captain Retro says: “It's one of those 'Secret tests of Character' then. Very well, in that case, I know what I must do.”

And to the Magi-Mother's surprise, Captain Retro disrobes everything EXCEPT his mask, and goes out towards the forest! The Magi-Mother asks: “No weapons?”

Without even looking back, Captain Retro says: “I won't need them.” /

How to Save a Life

Captain Retro narrates, and he says: “Previously, on Power Rangers Multiverse Force; BlackHawk and StarHawk officially got married, and they were surprised when their baby girl Aquilla, was not only born, but also when a future version of her arrived from a bad future! Wanting to prevent it, BlackHawk did something drastic, and decided to temporarily kill himself, in order to prevent Roland and his friends from continuing on their fruitless quest, to stop the Crimson King. Meanwhile, the relationships between Lettuce and Pinkie, as well as Undyne and Alphys, hit a snag when Undyne tried to make Lettuce her 'one exception,' and Lettuce decided to make Patsy Smiles, a 'Friend with Benefits'. If that weren't enough, Ebony and Toby, defectors from the Power Rangers, made enemies with the wrong Psychic Girl, and Ebony was thrust into an eternity of endless punishment, while Toby was locked away in a psychic dimension, to be driven mad by his crushing isolation. In spite of Alma taking care of both them, and Drako, her ambitions have still not been satisfied. And now, she seeks to go on a rampage on Coastal Falls. However, the Power Rangers may soon realize, this is NOT the Alma they know...”

Words appear on the screen again, and they say: “November 2178, one month ago, Dr. Maniac's Lab”.

Dr. Maniac is FURIOUSLY reviewing footage of the previous battle between the Power Rangers, and the mutated versions of the Super Psycho Zero Girls, trying to pinpoint at which point, the entire fight went WRONG for his creations! Dr. Maniac says: “It's INCREDIBLE! I must have reviewed this footage at least a DOZEN times already, and I STILL come up with the same ANSWER! It's all the fault of that new, STUPID Gold Ranger! But how could there be a Ranger that I MISSED?! I know of EVERY single Power Ranger that is already IN existence and STILL living!”

A female voice says: “Perhaps you're thinking about this problem way too hard!”

Dr. Maniac turns around, and he spots two very different looking women, who are both attractive in their own ways! Dr. Maniac says: “Who are you, and how did you get in here?! It's a real problem for you to be in here without the express permission of Queen Beryl!”

The second woman says: “Yeah, about that; I don't know how to break it to you, but Queen Beryl, she is planning to BETRAY you!”

Dr. Maniac says: “That's ABSURD! I am the SMARTEST scientist/doctor that Queen Beryl could POSSIBLY get her hands on! She would have to be practically INSANE to want to get rid of me! I mean, do you know who I actually AM?! I am Dr. Rick Maniac, also knows as Parallel Rick Sanchez 666, also known as the PURE evil Rick! Ever hear of the Council of Rick's? Even THEY do not want to deal with me!”

The first woman says: “Very impressive! But that doesn't matter to Queen Beryl, she IS planning to KILL you!”

Dr. Maniac asks: “And just HOW would you know this, might I ask?”

The second woman says: “We have our sources, and we BOTH don't want to see you get KILLED! We want to put you to some good use, where your work will TRULY be appreciated!”

Dr. Maniac says: “Well, may I ask just WHO wants to have the talents of the great Dr. Maniac?”

The first woman says: “You may. My name is Kaolite!”

The second woman says: “And my name is Villuy!”

Kaolite says: “We come from the same dimension that Queen Beryl does, and we are also quite familiar with the woman named Usagi; AKA Sailor Moon!”

Dr. Maniac says: “Than you will HELP me get RID of her, and her ANNOYING friends the Power Rangers! It's SETTLED! But first, I need to pull a convincing disappearing act, without arousing the suspicion of Queen Beryl OR the Power Rangers! My Mecha-Clones have the ability, to assume the shape of ANY person that I choose! I'll simply program one of my Mecha-Clones to stay behind on Queen Beryl's ship, and assume my shape, my looks, and my personality! It will be absolutely FLAWLESS! And if and/or WHEN Queen Beryl decides to have the Mecha-Clone killed, she will be none the wiser that I am still alive, and NEITHER will the Power Rangers!”

Villuy says: “That is a MOST brilliant idea! I'm VERY into technology myself!”

Kaolite says: “And I used to be in love with another intellectual named Professor Tomme, before we had a...difference of opinion, if you know what I mean!”

Dr. Maniac says: “I can make an educated guess! Very well then, my Mecha-Clone is all set, and we can leave right away! In the mean-time, we must find the REAL Alma, and capture her for MY nefarious purposes!”

Villuy asks: “Who is Alma?”

Dr. Maniac says: “A young, psychic girl! Once I capture her, I can clone her D.N.A., and make an EVIL copy dedicated to do MY bidding! And the Power Rangers will NEVER know that she ISN'T the real Alma, until it is FAR too late!”

Kaolite says: “You ARE quite the genius! Queen Beryl will be SORRY she ever tried to cross YOU!”

Dr. Maniac says: “That IS the General plan! Mecha-Clone, you KNOW what to do!”

And a lone Mecha-Clone shape-shifts into the EXACT likeness of Dr. Maniac, and mimicking Dr. Maniac's voice perfectly, it says: “Understood!”

Dr. Maniac says: “Perfect! Let's go!”

And using a special watch on his person, Dr. Maniac warps himself, Kaolite, and Villuy out of Queen Beryl's spaceship, to parts unknown. /

Words appear on the screen again, and they say: “Now, Present Day, the second to last Tuesday of 2178, Core Earth, Coastal Falls.”

The Power Rangers and Patsy are standing among the wreckage of Alma's rampage. Thankfully for the Power Rangers, Alma has just left to hunt down the president of the company that killed her. Lettuce looks around and says, "Well, at least things can't get any worse."

But almost as suddnely as he says this, a really VICIOUS killer robot, who looks VERY familiar, warps into the city wreckage, along with several much more powerful Imps. Lettuce promptly responds with: "OK, things CAN get worse.”

And Lettuce promptly gets knocked out cold by a powerful right hook by Baphomet, and demorphs as a result! Vipera appears and chuckles: “How do you like my new monster, Rangers? Well, technically, it's not MY monster. It was one of Dr. Maniac's FINEST creations, before SOMEBODY went ahead and KILLED him! Can you imagine?! One moment, you're the SMARTEST scientist in the entire world; the next, you're six feet under, sleeping with the worms! Although, I should thank you in a way. With Dr. Maniac out of the picture, I no longer have to use the Necrons I captured for his purposes! Instead, I decided to infuse their strength and spirits into my army of Imps, who are MUCH more powerful than they ever were under Emperor Diabolica! It's a pity that Lettuce won't be able to see the PRICELESS moment when I personally tear Pinky Pie limb from LIMB!!!!”

Pinky Pie says: “Okay, maybe you've been out of it for a bit, but I'm currently NOT speaking with Lettuce, he betrayed me with Kira, Alphys, and NOW Patsy!”

Patsy looks indignant, and she says: “Hey, you can't talk about me like THAT! Whatever Lettuce did with you is really NOT my problem!”

Baphomet says: “And personally, I don't care either way WHAT Lettuce did! I've been itching to get back at you Rangers for quite some time! Who's the new Gold Ranger, by the way?!”

BlackHawk points at him, and says: “Somebody who's beaten you before!” He removes his helmet, revealing his status as Gold Ranger, and he says: “And somebody who will beat you again!”

Baphomet says: “How fitting! I've come back to life, and you've come back as a new Ranger! And here, I thought I wouldn't have an adversary to test my new powers against! I've gained much strength since the last time we fought!”

BlackHawk puts his helmet back on, and he says: “Even if that's true, so have I.”

He grabs out Saba II, and he say: “I may be more of a gun master than a sword fighter, but I'll use whatever I'm given to get the job done!”

Vipera says: “Unfortunately for you, your battle will not be WITH Baphomet today! You'll be fighting against M.O.D.O.K.! Otherwise known as, Machine Organism Designed ONLY to KILL!!!!”

FireHawk says: “Is this the part where we're supposed to be intimidated?”

Baphomet says: “Why don't we TELL them what happened to their former friends, Ebony and Toby, if they still CARE about them?!”

Usagi gets apprehensive and asks: “What have you DONE to them?!”

Vipera scoffs and says: “Oh, SURE!!!! Blame the sexy, hot, space viper, just because she wants to conquer one MEASLY continent on the planet of Core Earth! EHHH, WRONG!!!!”

StarHawk says: “It wasn't you?”

Vipera says: “Sorry, space angel. But I'm NOT the culprit this time. Alma came in, got all indignant about the way Ebony and Toby were behaving. She blasted CIRCE and Drako DEAD, BANISHED Ebony to a dimension where she will be TORTURED for all eternity, and has locked up Toby in a prison of pure isolation, where he will SLOWLY be driven MAD!!!!”

Naruto shakes his head, and says: “No, that's not possible.”

Captain Retro appears and he says: “I WARNED you!”

Captain Retro looks around, and he SPOTS M.O.D.O.K.! Captain Retro asks: “What is THAT creature doing here?!”

Vipera says: “We busted him out of that S.P.D. Prision where Emperor Grumm is being held! He STILL hasn't forgotten what Doggie Kruger did to his HORNS!”

Captain Retro says: “He shouldn't have tried to CONQUER the Earth! But you need to call off M.O.D.O.K., right now!”

Baphomet laughs, and he says: “Isn't THAT rich?! And who's going to try to MAKE us?!”

Captain Retro sighs, and says: “I know, that you have a very, VERY small BRAIN disproportionate to your muscles, but use one SHRED of intelligence in your entire life, and THINK about it! He is a MACHINE ORGANISM DESIGNED ONLY TO KILL!!!! What happens if he KILLS the Rangers and all the humans, who will there BE left to kill besides YOU two?!!!”

Baphomet gets a nervous anime sweat drop, and he says: “Empress, he HAS a point!”

Vipera groans and says: “Obviously, you will KILL him first BEFORE he can do that!”

Baphomet's sweat drop disappears, and he gets all confidant again! Baphomet says: “Good point! Nice try, CAPTAIN, but we're NOT afraid of HIM!”

Captain Retro sighs and says: “They NEVER listen to reason! Sorry Rangers, but I got to take care of things, right here and--!”

But Captain Retro NEVER gets to finish his thought, because a CREEPY monster tries to ZAP him with a powerful LASER, and Captain Retro BARELY manages to dodge it, even with HIS fast speed!

The monster, reveals himself to be Psygorn! Psygorn looks around, and says: “Well, what a pleasant surprise! I came here looking to kill Undyne and Alphys, and instead, I find M.O.D.O.K.! HE will be MOST pleased!”

Captain Retro's eyes open WIDE in horror, and he says: “HE? Who IS 'He'?!”

Psygorn sarcastically says: “Oh, darn it. I spoiled the surprise! Well, it doesn't matter anyways, because NOBODY around here BESIDES machines, will live LONG enough to CARE! Just KNOW that YOUR days are finally NUMBERED, pitiful Power Rangers!”

Captain Retro's eyes snap out of his powerful gaze, and he says: “Dr. Maniac is STILL ALIVE!!!!”

Vipera stares in disbelief and asks: “WHAT?!!!”

Baphomet says: “ATTACK!!!!”

And the Imps suddenly swarm around the Power Rangers, and start attacking them! Psygorn says: “Now's my chance!”

And with a FLASH-STEP, he ZOOMS over in front of Vipera's FACE, grabbing her arms QUITE forcibly! Psygorn says: “Did you REALLY think that you could go back on your word and not have to pay the price for it?”

Vipera struggles, and she says: “I SWEAR, I didn't KNOW that Dr. Maniac was STILL alive!”

Psygorn says: “As if he would really be STUPID enough to let Queen Beryl kill him! Well, just know that it is NOT Dr. Maniac's wrath you need to worry about, he's got much BIGGER fish to fry, that don't involve YOU!”

Vipera chuckles, and she says: “Have you forgotten my secret weapon, M.O.D.O.K., KILL that DESPICABLE Psygorn!!!!”

M.O.D.O.K., starts charging up his eye lasers, and Psygorn chuckles, and says: “By the time he fires, I will step OUT of the way, and M.O.D.O.K., will disintegrate you SO completely, there WON'T be anything LEFT for you to heal!”

Vipera, with no time to think, says: “M.O.D.O.K., TURN!!!!”

M.O.D.O.K., does what he is told, but his powerful LASERS are now heading for Baphomet!!!! Baphomet says: “They're heading straight TOWARDS me!!!!”

And with all his might, he uses his sword to BOUNCE the lasers off, and unfortunately REDIRECTS him at the Imps, DISINTEGRATING all of them in an instant! Vipera breathes a sigh of relief, and she says: “Lucky, I've got 193 MORE Imps like that back in my spaceship!”

Psygorn says: “What little good that will do ANY of you! Too bad none of you will LIVE to see the glorious wrath of Dr. Maniac, succeed in all it's glory! Because by then, you will all be DEAD!!!!”

Psygorn fires powerful electric energy, and paralyzes even the powerful M.O.D.O.K.! Psygorn says: “But thank you for finding M.O.D.O.K., for me! He will be SO much more useful to Dr. Maniac, than a DEAD Alphys and Undyne! FAREWELL!!!!”

And with a snap of his fingers, Psygorn and M.O.D.O.K., disappear, and Baphomet and Vipera are left dumbfounded, as how to they are without their troops! Patsy says: “Not so confidant without your troops now, are you!”

Vipera says: “You FOOL! I may have lost some Imps today, but YOU will soon lose SO much more!! My only regret is, we won't be able to finish you personally, but that will make conquering Neo Australia-Asia all the more easier for us! Baphomet?!”

Baphomet says: “More Imps coming UP!!!!”

And he raises his sword, and seven more Imps pop in to replace the disintegrated Imps! Vipera says: “Baphomet, you and these Imps play with the Rangers for a while! Just don't get KILLED!”

Baphomet says: “We'll be sure to take the fight out of them!”

Patsy slaps Lettuce in the face, and she says: “Lettuce, speak to me!”

Captain Retro says: “It's no use, Patsy, he's still out, cold! There's only one choice, YOU must take his morpher, and temporarily assume his power!”

Patsy asks: “I can do that?”

Usagi says: “That's right! Undyne assumed Toby's power once, back when he was still one of us!”

Patsy grabs Lettuce's morpher, and she asks: “So, how does it work?”

StarHawk says: “First, you open up the morphing case, say 'It's Morphing Time,' say 'Power of Jupiter, Lightning', and you will transform!”

Pinkie says: “Wait! Are you SURE letting Patsy morph is a good idea?!”

Patsy asks: “Afraid I'll show you up?!”

FireHawk says: “How about the fact that she has LITERALLY no fighting experience?!”

Patsy says: “Oh, yes I DO!!!! I once punched out EVERY single boy in Camp Kidney, just to prove to my father that I could!”

Captain Retro says: “I can vouch for THAT one! Edward STILL hasn't lived that one down!”

Naruto says: “Just do it! We don't have time!”

Captain Retro says: “That may be more true than you know! If Doctor Maniac is involved, things are going to get BAD, and they're going to get BAD fast!”

BlackHawk asks: “And why is that?!”

Captain Retro sighs, and says: “You know how I can see glimpses of the future? I can also travel to the past. It's a technique, called 'Chronomacy'. Basically, it allows me to travel to any time period in the past that I want to, as long as it's a place where I'm needed.”

FireHawk says: “So, what's the big deal about something basic as time travel?”

Captain Retro seriously says: “There's nothing BASIC about time travel! 'Chronomacy' is a very DANGEROUS and very RISKY technique! Back in 2014, the Magi-Mother, sent me on a four month quest to become Clifford's avatar, and during that process, acquire all the powers I possess now! And it took me all of the LAST month to master 'Chronomacy', because there is so much RISK involved! I briefly lost sense of my OWN identity, and traveled to the FAR past, 14,000 years ago!”

BlackHawk asks: “14,000 years ago? Did YOU meet up with Cerebus?”

Captain Retro says: “On at least a couple of occasions, but I can't talk about them here or now, even if I wanted to. The point is, there is a REASON why you don't just see someone using 'Chronomacy' like its some sort of play thing, because it's not! 'Chronomacy' is VERY dangerous! For instance, you cannot travel to a time period where you already ARE, because you risk the chance of running into a past VERSION of yourself; and if your past self met your future/present self, it runs the risk of breaking reality, and NULLIFYING all of existence!”

Pinkie Pie says: “WOW!!!! And I thought DISCORD had some powerful magic tricks!”

Captain Retro says: “But there's a reason why I had to learn 'Chronomacy'. There are certain times, when something has to be changed in the time-stream, like right now. I first suspected that this might come up the MOMENT I saw those memory D.V.D.'s we watched in the Power Chamber! Speaking of, StarHawk, you LIED to me! You promised me you would give me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing BUT the truth! You never told me you were capable of ALTERING your memories, AND had the power of being able to coerce your own SISTER to take YOUR side!”

StarHawk says: “I only did that because I was DESPERATE! You don't know what it's been like to live my life! Planet Hawkia is a real WARRIOR society! They'd never accept US the way we were!”

FireHawk says: “That's why I decided to take the fall, and let StarHawk be the one everyone looked up to. I just never thought that Omnus would ask me to become a Power Ranger.”

“Baaa.” Says a bleating voice, and everyone looks at Woolbur Fleeceley. Woolbur says: “And I most certainly agree!”

BlackHawk says: “Woolbur, you came!”

Woolbur says: “And not a minute to soon! It's time for some morphing to be done!”

Patsy looks at him, and says: “Right! It's MORPHING time!” /

Patsy says: “Power of Jupiter, Lightning!” Woolbur says: “S.P.D. Emergency!” /

And the two green Rangers look at each other. Woolbur says: “I've got to agree, green looks pretty good on YOU, Patsy!”

Patsy says: “Actually, it always has. Green is the uniform color of the Squirrel Scouts!”

Baphomet says: “Well, if you love BEING a Squirrel Scout, than we shall CRUSH you like a Squirrel! Imps, ATTACK!!!!” And Baphomet and the Imps charge towards Patsy and the Power Rangers! And they begin fighting off the strong fighters! StarHawk says: “All right, Captain Retro! We'll take care of this while you do whatever you need to do!”

Captain Retro says: “Actually, you'll need to come with me, and you'll need to use the Phantom Ranger Powers, to!”

StarHawk asks: “Me, but why?”

Captain Retro says: “Three reasons. First off, this is going to be a TWO Ranger job, and I CAN'T do this job by myself, even WITH all my powers! Second, your current Ranger Powers won't WORK back in the past, because they haven't BEEN created yet! When BlackHawk and Naruto traveled into the past, they could do that because the power of the Warp created those powers, and could sustain them regardless of where or WHEN they were! But that won't work for your current powers! That's why you need the Phantom Ranger's power, because it's a power that already EXISTS where we are going.”

StarHawk asks: “And, what's the THIRD reason? You, also said this was a TWO Ranger job, but, I only see one RANGER among us!”

Captain Retro sighs, and says: “The third reason is, if we are successful in going back into the past and changing what NEEDS to be changed, there is a CHANCE we may be able to RETCON Toby and Ebony back into existence. BUT, there would be a catch to that!”

Usagi asks: “Catch, what catch?!”

Captain Retro says: “Retconning things is not an exact science, it's always unpredictable. Just know that by changing something in the past, you create a RIPPLE effect that catches up and affects everything in the future/present time-line. And that ripple effect causes WAVES, and those waves will wash AWAY the old personalities of Ebony and Toby! And if their personalities change; well...”

Naruto says: “Don't be nervous, tell us!”

Captain Retro sighs, and says: “If their personalities change, they will have NEVER been selected to have BEEN Power Rangers in the first place. All their deeds and accomplishments that have been created up to this point will be wiped out and replaced. If we succeed, nobody but me, Sans, OR StarHawk, will EVER remember the former personalities or memories that made up Toby and Ebony, because those personalities will have NEVER existed in the first place!”

BlackHawk says: “With all the bad memories that happened between Toby, Ebony, and myself, NOTHING would make me HAPPIER!”

StarHawk says: “And you still haven't explained what you meant by, two Rangers!”

Captain Retro says: “On August 27th, 2014, my 29th birthday, Clifford accepted me as his avatar. Giving me a new outlook on life, and the ULTIMATE power ANY ranger can be given! It's MORPHING time!!!!” And Captain Retro pulls out a powerful GREEN Morpher, and within the transformation sequence, a flash of every SINGLE Green Ranger and Black Ranger that's ever EXISTED so far, even the ones that the Rangers THEMSELVES don't fully recognize, flash by! /

Captain Retro says: “Master Morpher, Default Mode! Green Lion Thunder Ranger Power!” And Captain Retro transforms into a Green Power Ranger, with a white vest very similar to Tommy's White Ranger Black Vest, and BlackHawk's Gold Ranger Orange Vest, and with powerful flames blazed around the eye visors! /

Everyone looks at Captain Retro's morphed form, and Pinkie asks: “You're a Power Ranger?”

Captain Retro removes his helmet, STILL wearing his mask, and he says: “Part time!”

Patsy says: “That's cool! When do I get my own, little, Master Morpher power thing?”

Captain Retro puts his helmet back on, and he says: “When you grow up! These Master Morphers can only be given by the Guardian's themselves! I have one because Clifford chose me, himself, to be his avatar! These powers are strictly for the forces of good, and can NEVER be used or TRULY duplicated by the forces of evil! And by the way, BlackHawk, I'd REALLY wish you'd use Saba II, more! It's a really cool sword!”

BlackHawk says: “I want a GUN that can shoot things!”

Captain Retro says: “It can shoot lasers! Is THAT gun-like enough for you?!”

BlackHawk asks: “Really?! Saba II, why didn't you TELL me you could shoot lasers?!”

Saba II responds: “First off, you didn't ask! Secondly, I was MAD at you that you took a PEE all over me!”

Captain Retro sternly says: “BlackHawk!”

BlackHawk says: “It's no use being mad at me! We might not even REMEMBER that thing ever happened, because it might not have happened at all in the FIRST place!”

Captain Retro says: “And we don't have time! StarHawk, it's time to de-morph and turn into the Phantom Ranger. At least I know that there are no reports of StarHawk being on Earth in 2028, but we still need the Phantom Ranger to be there, so your past self won't get suspicious!”

StarHawk de-morphs, puts her current morpher away, and she says: “I understand.” She grabs out the Phantom Ruby, and says: “Shift into Turbo!” /

StarHawk says: “Phantom Ranger, Turbo Power!” /

Captain Retro says: “Are you ready?”

StarHawk says: “All set!”

Captain Retro says: “And one last thing; whatever happens, do NOT let M.O.D.O.K., kill ANY innocent civilians. Clifford says that if any of YOU happen to fall in this battle, the Retcon waves will be able to restore you for SURE! But if any innocent civilians die, his powers are limited in that matter! Even the Guardian's themselves aren't all-powerful, and they can't restore everyone if they happen to die, even WITH a Retcon!”

Usagi says: “You can count on us, Captain Retro!”

Captain Retro nods to StarHawk, and says: “Hold on TIGHT! It's about to become a fast and BUMPY ride!”

StarHawk HOLDS Captain Retro's left arm tight, as Captain Retro focuses his hands BACKWARDS from where he is FACING, tilts his HEAD backwards, and says: “Summer of 2028, the Tuesday that Dr. Maniac lost his left arm!”

And a blue void appears in the space time continuum, and Captain Retro and StarHawk propel themselves BACKWARDS in time! But what Captain Retro didn't realize, is that D.O.G., had been WATCHING the whole thing through his binoculars, and his eyes widen, and he asks: “Younger brother, was that YOU?!”

And knowing about the possibility of a retcon, D.O.G., quickly writes on a paper with PERMANENT Ink, “Captain Retro IS my brother!” /

Meanwhile, in a far off section of the universe, Radiguet has accompanied some unusual resistance, with what look like a race of EVIL reptiles, who call themselves the Kroot, headed by none OTHER than the Lord of Change HIMSELF!!! Radiguet says: “So, after all this time, T'zeen'tch has finally decided to send his SECOND in command after me, in an attempt to STOP me from reaching the parallel dimension belonging to the Power Rangers R.P.M.! The Chaos Realm must be REALLY weak and running out of RESOURCES if T'zeen'tch is desperate enough to send out the likes of YOU!”

The Lord of Change says: “Radiguet, this rampage of yours has got to STOP! The Chaos Gods ALL know that you're working with MISERY, that low-level demon who has the NERVE to call himself a Chaos God, just so you can get yourself some more power! What would you do in case you EVER got that much power within your body?!”

Radiguet chuckles, and says: “A better question, would be, what WOULDN'T I do with it?! You see, the problem with you Chaos Gods, is that you're VERY Brilliant, but you're very LAZY!!!! So much destruction and PAIN that could be spread across the entire MULTIVERSE at their fingertips, and they don't lift so much as a FINGER to CAUSE it! Well, I think the Gods MUST be lazy, to send out someone with so much talent as you! Of course, the only reason T'zeen'tch won't see me himself, is because he knows that it is a FIGHT he will LOSE!!!!”

A menacing voice says: “That is where you are WRONG, Radiguet!!!!”

And before Radiguet's UTTER amazement, T'zeen'tch HIMSELF appears in front of Radiguet! Radiguet gleefully chuckles, and he says: “This is MOST splendid! I get to kill the KROOT, and gain the powers of the Chaos God of Scheming, all in the SAME day!”

T'zeen'tch says: “You won't be gaining MY powers, and you WON'T gain the powers of the Chaos Gods! Not now, not EVER!!!! We KNOW you're the one responsible for CAUSING our powers to weaken and FADE in the first place! Your pathetic attempt at becoming an omnipotent maniac is at it's end!”

Radiguet says: “Omnipotent? Yes. Maniac? HARDLY!!!! I know you might not THINK it, but I'm actually QUITE sane, compared to that Dr. MANIAC, causing havoc on Core Earth! In fact, my sources tell me that he has decided to FLAGRANTLY disobey MY orders to only kill ONE Power Ranger, and is trying to kill them ALL! He might even try to go after me! Quite frankly, I always KNEW one day, his inner ambitions would get the better of him. Still, he IS quite foolish to go up against ME! Surely, you would agree that with YOUR power in MY hands, I would be able to GRIND him into cosmic DUST!!!!”

T'zeen'tch says: “You STILL don't get it! There's NO scenario you're playing that allows you to come out on TOP! Maybe you absorb all the Chaos Gods, maybe you kill the Crimson King, maybe you even thwart Horus and the Emperor THEMSELVES, but you will NEVER get the better of the Power Rangers! Because if they CAN'T save Core Earth, they're most certainly going to AVENGE it, and they will take you down WITH them!”

Radiguet says: “I'm sure they will try. But then again, I wouldn't expect someone like you, FAR detached from the matters of mere MORTALS, to understand the BEAUTY of my plan! You see, this whole universe is wicked and UGLY! By ridding the universe of all it's ugliness, I will transform it into a DELIGHTFUL place, one where only I can rest on the throne of the God Emperor himself! No Chaos Gods, no Crimson King, no Horus or Power Rangers to muddy things up! The final word in judgment shall be me, and I alone, shall decide who lives and DIES!!!! All shall look up to me and admire me, and all shall TREMBLE in FEAR!!!!”

T'zeen'tch says: “Too bad you'll NEVER get a chance to pull it off, because I'm stopping you right here and--!”

(BOOM!!!!) But T'zeen'tch NEVER gets to finish his thought, because at that moment, a powerful RIPPLE affect across the cosmos, REACHES them, and begins to DEPOWER T'zeen'tch GREATLY!!!! T'zeen'tch cries in pain and asks: WHAT'S happening to me?!”

Radiguet says: “This is most unanticipated, and fortunate for me! Seems like Dr. Maniac's antics might have proven more USEFUL to me than I thought! He's driven Captain Retro to go back into the past, to set right what once went wrong, as he's so fond of saying. Too bad he doesn't realize, that by opening the void between time and space, it also affects the Chaos Realm, de-powering you, and leaving you VERY susceptible to getting trapped inside a WAYSTONE!!!!”

T'zeen'tch asks: “A Waystone? You mean like the kind those Elves use to keep their souls intact?”

Radiguet says: “You've done your homework! And also, because I need a way to access your powers, and yet keep your LOUSY personality and voice, from driving me INSANE like it did my alternate reality counterpart! My Glove of POWER will fit ME like a GLOVE!!!!”

And Radiguet dons on his left hand, a powerful, crimson BLOOD red glove, with five holes on the knuckles, where FIVE Waystones can sit! Radiguet says: “As you can see, there's one for EACH of you, and for HORUS, once he inevitably decides to betray me! And when he does, with YOUR powers, there is no way I will lose THAT fight!”

T'zeen'tch growls and says: “You'll NEVER get away with this!”

Radiguet says: “Watch me! But first, allow me to demonstrate what my power is already like! Kroot, have a taste of my DEATH BALL!!!!”

And Radiguet once again powers up an insanely HUGE, powerful crimson red ball of energy and death, and The Lord of Change says: “He can power up a Death Ball as WELL?!!!”

Radiguet says: “You mean T'zeen'tch can do those as well?”

The Lord of Change says: “Yeah, but YOURS is bigger.”

Radiguet says: “I KNEW IT!!!!”

And Radiguet throws his Death Ball, and kills ALL but two of the Kroot! Radiguet says: “And now it's time for YOU, T'zeen'tch!”

T'zeen'tch says: “Go ahead! If Captain Retro really HAS gone into the past, he will just undo whatever it is you're doing NOW!”

Radiguet says: “I've already PREPARED for THAT possibility! Take a look at my RIGHT hand!”

And on his right hand, on his longest finger, is a crimson red ring! T'zeen'tch asks: “Where did you GET THAT?!!! That's a TIME Ring! Only Chaos Gods and GUARDIAN'S are allowed to wear those!”

Radiguet says: “This was made by Misery, and entrusted to me as part of our PLAN! And by wearing this Time Ring, it will PROTECT me from ANY changes that Captain Retro tries to make in the past! Pity it won't protect YOU, but you've got an appointment with MY Power Glove!!!! Soul Transfer Attack, change, NOW!!!!”

And with a powerful gust of wind, Radiguet entwines and ENTRAPS the now vulnerable T'zeen'tch, and he screams: “No, no, NO!!!!”

And T'zeen'tch is SUCKED into the tiny sphere of the Waystone! Radiguet says: “Welcome to the collection, T'zeen'tch!!!!” And he puts the square over the knuckle of his primary finger! Radiguet says: “As for you, Lord of Change, I COULD make a test of my power on you, but I'm ALREADY behind schedule in destroying the dimension belonging to the Power Rangers R.P.M., and I won't TOLERATE anymore delays! But just TRY to stay out of my way! I'll come BACK for you, soon enough!”

And in a blaze of flames, Radiguet warps into his ship, and continues onwards towards the dimension belonging to the Power Rangers R.P.M.! The Lord of Change asks: “What are the consequences, of Radiguet successfully absorbing T'zeen'tch?” /

Captain Retro and StarHawk warp backwards through the time-stream, until they safely land in the morning of the summer Tuesday, in the year 2028, in Captain Retro's pocket dimension, the day Dr. Maniac is fated to lose his arm. StarHawk says: “Wow! That was quite the ride!”

Captain Retro smells the air, and he says, “StarHawk, I sense something is wrong!”

StarHawk says: “Did we not go far enough?”

Captain Retro says: “No. We're at the right day. I just have the terrible feeling Radiguet might have used our little time jump to his advantage! Remember the time ripples, and time waves, that I told you about earlier?”

StarHawk says: “Kind of. Why?”

Captain Retro says: “Well, another reason why I avoid time travel, is that it tends to produce waves and ripples SO big, they actually DISRUPT the Chaos Realm, making the Chaos Gods VULNERABLE! I think Radiguet just absorbed the scheming God!”

StarHawk asks: “You mean the God Drako used to worship?”

Captain Retro says: “Well, not entirely. Radiguet stored him in a Waystone, so as not to be corrupted or influenced by his personality, or mind. Even if we succeed here, I don't think we'll be able to retcon THAT!”

StarHawk asks: “Do you think he will go after the others?”

Captain Retro says: “Not yet, at any rate. His goal right now, is going after the Power Rangers R.P.M. Dimension. In the meantime, if the Chaos Gods want to come to him, that's fine, as far as HE'S concerned! Trouble is, I don't know when or WHERE that's going to be! I can't predict the outcome of a Chaos God, so their futures are entirely up in the air! Anyways, we can't be concerned about Radiguet now! We have to first find M.O.D.O.K., in THIS time, and de-power him so the Rangers will stand a fighting chance in the future. Next, we have to save Ramone Fleeceley!”

StarHawk asks: “Can we actually DO that?!”

Captain Retro says: “It's what we were sent here to do. 'Set right what once went wrong', as Clifford is so fond of saying.”

StarHawk asks: “But how are we going to do THAT?! Woolbur didn't alter HIS memories, and we all HEARD the sickening crunch of the garbage compactor crushing down on the ground!”

Captain Retro says: “True. But we didn't get to see WHAT was being crunched! And with THAT being the case, we can pull off a switch!”

StarHawk says: “A switch? You mean an exchange! But, with what?!”

Captain Retro thinks about it, and says: “The Mecha-clones! Dr. Maniac used one to fake HIS own death, we can use the same tactic against him, and FAKE Ramone Fleeceley's death!”

StarHawk says: “And then we can show Ramone Fleeceley to Woolbur!”

Captain Retro says: “But not at THIS time, that's too dangerous! We have to create a 'Stable Time Loop', and the only way to do that, is to WAIT until we're BACK in the year 2178, to show Ramone Fleeceley to Woolbur! I know that sounds harsh, but it's the only way to be safe! We can't take any chances of the Stable Time Loop falling apart!”

StarHawk says: “Well, Woolbur's already waited THIS long to find out what truly happened to his brother, I suppose a little longer isn't going to make much of a difference! So, what's our plan of action?”

Captain Retro says: “We infiltrate Dr. Maniac's base of operations, capture two Mecha-Clones, and use them to get into where M.O.D.O.K., is being held, and to swap out for Ramone Fleeceley, AND Prince Maniac!”

StarHawk says: “OR, we COULD just grab the FIRST two Mecha-Clones we FIND, and do all that other stuff you just mentioned!”

Captain Retro says: “Come on! It can't be THAT simple!” (Gilligan Cut) Captain Retro and StarHawk are escorting two Mecha-Clones into M.O.D.O.K.'s prison cell in New Tech City, and StarHawk says: “It's THAT simple!”

Captain Retro says: “Well, guess you can teach an old...well, roughly middle-aged Eltarian Dog new tricks! I guess I tend to over-complicate things a little bit!”

They reach a door, and StarHawk reads the sign on the door: “Warning: Extremely dangerous criminal M.O.D.O.K., inside! Keep out, Authorized Personnel ONLY!”

Captain Retro says: “Well, I say we're about as authorized as it gets, being Power Rangers!”

StarHawk says: “Phantom Key!” And she produces a magical skeleton key out of thin air! StarHawk says: “Opens up any lock in the known Multiverse, EVEN the Chamber of Secrets!”

Captain Retro says: “Ebony would be jealous if she were here right now!”

They go into M.O.D.O.K.'s prison cell. Even though M.O.D.O.K., is wearing a Hannibal Lecter mask, and is currently off-line, he is still being wrapped up in heavy chains! Captain Retro says: “All right, I got us in here, now use your knowledge of machinery and wiring to de-power him!”

StarHawk says: “Right! I knew all that training with Dimitria would come in handy!”

And she starts ripping out a bunch of wires, coils, and gears, and the energy level of M.O.D.O.K., goes DRASTICALLY down! Captain Retro says: “All right, now the other Power Rangers will have a fighting chance in the future!”

StarHawk says: “But this was only our first stop, right?”

Captain Retro says: “Yep! So much for the EASY part! Now it's time for the main event!” /

Meanwhile, back in 2178, Dr. Maniac, Kaolite, and Villuy, are searching for the young Alma, and they find her just mindlessly staring out towards something, but looking at nothing, while in a playground park. Dr. Maniac chuckles, and he says: “THERE she is! The most POWERFUL girl in the world! That girl is going to help me get revenge! Sweet, SWEET revenge! It's amazing how even the Power Rangers had trouble with HER!”

Than Dr. Maniac's wireless transmitter rings, and he says: “That must be Psygorn calling now!”

Dr. Maniac answers, and he says: “Give me good news!”

Psygorn nervously says: “Well, I've got good news, and bad news!”

Dr. Maniac asks: “Well, what's the GOOD news?!”

Psygorn says: “The good news is, I found your M.O.D.O.K., creation for you! The bad news is, someone has TAMPERED with your creation in between the TIME he was captured, and NOW! The power he used while with Vipera, was basically all he had left IN him! He's powerless without a source of power to power him!”

Dr. Maniac says: “CRUD!!!! Now we HAVE to capture Alma!”

Kaolite asks: “Are you SURE we can do it?”

Dr. Maniac says: “She's just a KID!!!! We can handle her REAL diplomatic like!”

Villuy says: “Well, you WOULD be the expert on that!”

Dr. Maniac says: “We'll use a pincer movement to ambush her. On my mark, 1, 2...”

Alma's eyes open up and she says: “THREE!!!!”

And in her young girl form, Alma suddenly sprouts what can ONLY be described as Eldritch Energy tentacles, flies up in the air, and grabs ALL three of them, and starts pounding them down on the GROUND!!!! After doing this for several times, Alma darkly says: “I am disappointed in you, Dr. Maniac, VERY disappointed! The pincer movement ambush was the FIRST trick I learned! It didn't work when the Power Rangers tried it, did you REALLY think you would have a much better job trying it on me? I have seen things that no girl should EVER see! I have experienced things that no girl should ever experience! As a girl, I was in so much pain, I actually DIED!!!! How do you think you could POSSIBLY catch a ghost made of psychic energy like ME, and treat me like a normal flesh and blood human?!”

Kaolite asks: “Did you actually KNOW about this all along?!”

Villuy says: “Exactly! How could you NOT know she was DEAD to begin with?!”

Dr. Maniac says: “I am a mad SCIENTIST!!!! Not a Paranormal Investigator!”

Alma begins choking them with her Eldritch Energy tentacles, and she says: “Dr. Maniac, you are a sad, poor, pitiful, idiotic excuse of a man, who has FAR too much PRIDE in himself, and all the so-called inventions he creates! But you know what? As much as I hate to admit it, there IS one thing we have in common: we both hate living creatures. But at least I HAVE people that I don't WANT dead, and that I personally care about: Omnus and the Power Rangers! Especially Usagi! I can't help but have feelings for her, and I don't understand what those feelings are!”

Dr. Maniac gets a PARTICULARY insidious look on his face, and he boldly says: “Than JOIN me! Together, we can RULE the galaxy as—ACK!!!!”

But Alma cuts him off by tightening her grip around his neck! Alma says: “I cannot BELIEVE how much you SUCK!!!! And how predictable you are, when it comes to spouting off cliches. Do you honestly think that I haven't HEARD this spiel before?! It really amazes me how similar you are to my own PUKE of a father; Harlan Wade! You know, he ALSO wasn't above exploiting a young girl to achieve his OWN goals, than discard me once he was DONE with me! However, you forget TWO things, Doctor!”

Dr. Maniac, gasping for air against the tentacle Alma is using against him, asks: “What?!”

Alma smiles in a UN-settling matter, and says: “One, I already went through that. It ended up killing me. And two...not only am I already dead, I am, for all intents and purposes, a powerful goddess that could kill you with a snap of a finger!”

Dr. Maniac, Kaolite, and Villuy get thrown back SEVERAL feet, and Alma stares at all of them! She than turns into a teenager, and she says: “I could very well send all of you into my Almaverse, where you'd be at my mercy forever. But, that's not fun enough. So, I will be watching, waiting for the moment to strike, making you wish you could die and be at peace with yourselves. Heed this warning; do NOT harm the Power Rangers or anyone associated with them. Otherwise...” And then Alma demonstrates what she's capable of, by making a nearby rat catch a bird, and forces the rat to VIOLENTLY dismember the bird, before TURNING SAID RAT INSIDE OUT!

Alma then leaves Kaolite, Villuy, and ESPECIALLY Dr. Maniac, terrified, and unable to move! And for added black humor, she walks away, happily singing, “I Saw Her Standing There” by The Beatles! Once Alma is safely out of sight and can no longer hear them, Kaolite asks: “Well, THAT didn't work! Now what do we do?”

Dr. Maniac says: “CRUD! Time for 'Plan B'.”

Villuy asks: “You HAVE a Plan B?!”

Dr. Maniac says: “I am the PURELY Evil Rick! I ALWAYS have a Plan B! We capture JUSTIN to power up M.O.D.O.K., and have him KILL Alma SO badly, there will be NOTHING left of her to HAUNT me!”

Kaolite asks: “And what if THAT plan should fall through, as well?”

Dr. Maniac scoffs, and says: “BAH!!!! Let her try and come! She won't get past MY defenses, especially not with PSYGORN to stop her! Besides, I'll be FULLY mechanized by then! After all, how can you POSSIBLY haunt someone if they're technically no longer ALIVE?! Oh, you better watch OUT, Alma! M.O.D.O.K., will come for you soon, and make YOUR afterlife SUFFER like your TRUE life never COULD!!!! And then M.O.D.O.K., will be coming for you, TOO, RADIGUET!!!! I thank you for giving ME the opportunity to get revenge against the Rangers, but I will NOT follow your plans, just because YOU feel entitled to have THIS planet! Revenge will be MINE, and MINE ALONE!!!! Let's go get that Power BRAT!”

And all three of them warp to find out where Justin currently is! /

Meanwhile, back in the year 2028, Captain Retro and StarHawk, with their two captured Mecha-Clones, rush to the outside of the scientific factory in New Tech City, where Woolbur Fleeceley is being held. Captain Retro says: “We made it!”

And they hear the unmistakeable CLICK sound, of Justin STOMPING his foot down, which opens the hidden trap door, that deposits the S.P.D. Power Rangers into the Garbage Disposal Unit. They hear Dr. Maniac's voice speak again, and Captain Retro MOCKS it, because he's already HEARD it before! Captain Retro sarcastically speaks with Dr. Maniac, and says: “'MWA, HA, HA!' Filler, filler, mindless filler, sacrifice for the rest of the Power Rangers, farewell, 'MWA, HA, HA!'”

StarHawk asks: “Do we move now?”

Captain Retro says: “We can only allow Ramone Fleeceley to see us! We're rescuing HIM!”

They hear Ramone Fleeceley say: “It's a pressure mechanism! It may be a way out!”

Captain Retro says: “It's almost time! Quick! Hide behind the garbage bin!”

They do so, and they have to hear Woolbur say: “You can't MEAN that, Ramone! Don't DO this!”

StarHawk says: “I HATE this part!”

Captain Retro says: “Quiet! We're about to rewrite an ending that fits, instead of a Hollywood Horror, as Nickleback once sang!”

They hear Woolbur defiantly say: “NO!!!! I won't LET you! There MUST be another way!”

Captain Retro says: “Wait for it!”

They watch Bridge, Sydney, Z, Justin, and Woolbur all rush out of the looming garbage disposal trap, and Captain Retro whispers: “GO!!!!”

They rush inside with the Mecha-Clone, and StarHawk HOLDS open the door, just to be on the safe side! Ramone asks: “Who are you?”

Captain Retro says: “No time to explain! Mecha-Clone, change into Ramone Fleeceley and stand on that switch!”

The Mecha-Clone does as it's told, and Captain Retro grabs Ramone Fleeceley, and says: “Let's get out of here!”

They quickly rush outside, and hide back behind the garbage bin, and they hear the sickening CRUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, again, but Captain Retro and StarHawk knows what it IS that got crushed, now, but they STILL have to hear Woolbur scream: “NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ramone FLEECELEY!!!!”

Ramone asks: “Why can't I...?”

Captain Retro says: “Long story, time travel, stable time loop, explain more later! Wait here, and don't move until we come back for you! That's an order!”

Knowing that Ramone won't disobey an order, Ramone whispers: “Understood.”

And they hear Dr. Maniac say: “MWA, HA, HA!!!! I TOLD you I WOULD kill ONE of you before you had ten ADVENTURES against me! It's what I DID to the ORIGINAL Power Rangers Bionic Force Yellow Ranger, you green fleeced TWERP!”

And Captain Retro says: “I LOVE this part!”

Woolbur angrily says: “I HAVE a NAME!!!! I'm WOOLBUR FLEECELEY!!!! YOU KILLED MY BROTHER!!!! PREPARE TO DIE!!!!”

And brandishing an INSANELY sharp cutlass sword out of his wool, before anyone can BLINK, Woolbur RUSHES to the MAD doctor, and SICKENINGLY SLICES Dr. Maniac's LEFT flesh arm CLEAR off!!!! Dr. Maniac screams in pain, and yells: “AUGH!!!! That was a PERFECTLY GOOD ARM!!!! That doesn't grow BACK, you JERK!!!!”

StarHawk asks: “How are we going to switch Prince Maniac?”

Captain Retro says: “That's all up to me! I'm going to have to time it carefully! I'm only going to get ONE shot at this, to make sure Psygorn doesn't get to shoot Prince Maniac, but a Mecha-Clone of Prince Maniac!”

StarHawk says: “Speaking of, are we going to be safe from Psygorn? He's pretty fast!”

Captain Retro says: “I have the best aura detection on Core Earth! And since I have YET to meet anybody else on Core Earth better than me, I can comfortably, say that sentence...comfortably!”

They hear Dr. Maniac loudly scream: ““I don't care WHAT my son WANTS!!!! He is going to be a respected, smart, intelligent, extremely crafty scientist LIKE his FATHER, and he is GOING to LIKE it, whether he wants to or NOT!!!! GOT IT?!!!”

StarHawk says: “UGH!!!! What a TERRIBLE excuse for a father!”

Captain Retro says: “I wouldn't wish such a fate on my WORST enemy, who currently happens to BE Dr. Maniac! Oh, wait! I remember the part that's coming up, we don't have to just sit through it!”

StarHawk says: “No way! We're at the part where Prince Maniac sings that rocking hit song by the musician Prince, and the Rangers KICKED the BUTTS of the Mecha-Clones!”

Captain Retro uses his Chrono-mancy powers to fast-forward through the action, and he says: “NO!!!! This is STUPID!!!! See? Good, good, dumb, dumb, good, good, stupid.” And he stops as soon as Prince Maniac's unique shaped guitar is destroyed!

Captain Retro says: “All right, keep quiet! I need to focus for THIS one!”

Captain Retro blocks out EVERYTHING, and solely focuses himself on the sneaking presence of Psygorn, and Prince Maniac's energy! Captain Retro whispers: “Mecha-Clone, change into Prince Maniac, right now!”

The Mecha-Clone does as its told, Captain Retro WAITS for the judgment to clear, and Captain Retro says: “Got to move, in three, two...”

Captain Retro SEES Psygorn preparing to roar his fire, and says: “NOW!!!!”

And with an AMAZING display of SPEED, making it look like TIME is standing still, Captain Retro GRABS the REAL Prince Maniac, leaves the Mecha-Clone behind, the fire completely CHARS the Mecha-Clone, leaving it unrecognizable as one, as Captain Retro rushes to rejoin StarHawk and Ramone Fleeceley behind the garbage bin! And as soon as he does, the time flow returns to normal! Ramone Fleeceley whispers: “Why did you SAVE him?!”

Captain Retro says: “Because he's innocent!”

And Prince Maniac, looking in HORROR at what Psygorn did to the Mecha-Clone, and FRAMING the Power Rangers for killing Prince Maniac, Prince Maniac whispers: “How could he lie to my father?”

Captain Retro says: “He's a sadistic psychopath, Prince Maniac...or should I say, Prince Sanchez? Your father changed his last name and your last name when you were born. You were NEVER meant to be a scientist, but there's nothing more we can do here, now! Everyone grab hold on to me, and don't let go! It's time to go forward!”

They do so, and Captain Retro says: “Return to the second to the last Tuesday of 2178!”

Captain Retro opens up the void in the time-stream again, and this time, they propel forward, leaving the year 2028, as they hear Woolbur angrily say: “Dr. MANIAC!!!! If it's the LAST thing I do, I'LL; GET YOU FOR THIS!!!!” /

Meanwhile, back in 2178, the Rangers FINALLY beat the stronger Imps, and BlackHawk asks: “Is THAT all you got?!”

Baphomet says: “You may have beaten the Imps, but you WON'T defeat M.O.D.O.K.! Too bad I can't stick around to see it! FAREWELL!!!!”

Pinkie Pie sniffs the air, and she says: “Call it my Pinkie sense, but I actually have a feeling that Baphomet was probably NOT lying to us like he USUALLY does!”

FireHawk's senses tense up, and she says: “DUCK!!!!”

And she quickly RUSHES, and forcibly pushes Pinkie's head down, causing M.O.D.O.K.'s laser to BARELY miss them both by inches! Dr. Maniac's hologram is broadcast in the air, and he says: “He's meaner, he's TOUGHER, and all around more POWERFUL, meet the new, and improved, M.O.D.O.K.! Isn't it MARVELOUS?! He is a Machine Organism Designed ONLY to KILL!!!! Which means, you are all NEXT on his KILLING list! M.O.D.O.K., DESTROY those MISERABLE Power Brats, and turn them into Mulan Szechuan McNugget Sauce! It's been too long since I've had a good TASTE of it!”

M.O.D.O.K., prepares to fire, and Alma says: “STOP!!!!”

M.O.D.O.K. FIRES his eye lasers, but Alma psychically BLOCKS it with powerful psychic energy! Naruto asks: “Alma, why are you HELPING us?! I thought you HATED us!”

Alma says: “I thought so to, but, something seems to have changed. It's like, there's this part of me that feels like I DID something to SOMEONE, but now I can't remember what it is.”

Usagi asks: “Do you think this means that Captain Retro and StarHawk were--?”

But Usagi NEVER gets to finish her thought, because the time wave, ripple effect catches up to them, and it wipes CLEAN all their memories of the past Toby and Ebony, and just then, a void opens up, and a seemingly NICER Toby and Ebony, drop OUT of it! Toby rubs his head, and he asks: “Where am I?”

Ebony asks: “What happened?”

Toby looks at Ebony, and he says: “Wow! You look GREAT!”

And Ebony hides behind a tree! Toby says: “Sorry, Ebony! I didn't mean to come on so strong!”

Ebony nervously asks: “How do you know my name?”

Toby is puzzled, and he says: “I don't know. It's like, somehow, I've always known. But, maybe if you want, I can be your friend, if you want.”

Ebony says: “A...friend. I would really like to have one of those.”

BlackHawk looks at them, and asks: “Who are THOSE two?”

And then a SECOND void opens up, and Captain Retro and StarHawk pop back out of it, with Ramone Fleeceley and Prince Maniac! Woolbur is SHOCKED, and he asks: “Ramone, you're ALIVE?!”

Psygorn rushes to the scene, and he screams: “Prince Maniac, is ALIVE?!!!”

All the Rangers ask: “Those two, are ALIVE?!!!”

Ramone Fleeceley says: “We're alive!”

Psygorn says: “IMPOSSIBLE!!!!”

And Captain Retro rushes BEHIND him, and he says: “Maybe you haven't heard, but the Power Rangers make it a habit of DOING the Impossible, on a daily BASIS!!!!”

And with a SINGLE, Powerful punch, Captain Retro KNOCKS Psygorn several yards BACKWARDS, and SNAPS the tree that Ebony was hiding behind, in HALF!!!! Psygorn wearily gets up and says: “I do not understand this, but I don't have the time to deal with you right now! You'll pay for this! M.O.D.O.K., KILL THEM ALL!!!!”

And Psygorn warps away! M.O.D.O.K., TRIES to turn up the power, but Alma manages to keep even with him! StarHawk asks: “What should we do? Should we help?”

Captain Retro says: “This is Alma's battle! This is a fight she needs to handle on her own!”

(Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep!) Captain Retro says: “Come in, Omnus!”

Omnus says: “Captain Retro, our reports indicate that Justin has gone missing from his current home in New Tech City! Reports indicate that a crazed scientist and two females, broke into his apartment, and LITERALLY kidnapped him!”

Captain Retro uses his aura detecting skills, and he says: “And I know WHERE he is, and how Alma can SAVE him, and stop M.O.D.O.K.! ALMA!!!!”

Alma is struggling, and she says: “WHAT?!!!”

Captain Retro says: “M.O.D.O.K., is being powered by JUSTIN!!!! He's just a LITTLE kid, like YOU! He needs YOUR HELP!!!!”

Alma's eyes glow CRIMSON RED, and she says: “Doctor MANIAC, you sick CREEP FREAK!!!!”

And Alma proceeds to go full power (on MAJOR reality warping levels), and manages to free Justin! Justin's head is spinning, and he asks: “Where am I?”

Captain Retro says: “No time to explain! Rangers, channel your auras together, and fire an energy blast at M.O.D.O.K., as your brand new finishing attack!”

Usagi says: “Right!”

The Rangers channel their energies, into a single, bright ball of energy, and they say: “Super Cosmic Strike ATTACK!!!!”

And they fire it at M.O.D.O.K., and it is SO utterly destroyed, there isn't even anything LEFT for the Bigga Ray to restore! Captain Retro says: “Dr. Maniac, don't EVER underestimate the power of Alma EVER again, or I'll make SURE you regret it!” /

Back in Dr. Maniac's new science lair, Dr. Maniac is severely punishing Psygorn! Farrah Cat asks: “Were you QUITE finished?!”

Dr. Maniac says: “I am disappointed in you, Psygorn. I ordered you to KILL Ramone Fleeceley, you did NOT! I ordered you to KILL the other Power Rangers, and instead, you TRIED to kill my SON!!!!”

Psygorn CHOKES on the lightning that Dr. Maniac is emitting, and Psygorn struggles, as he says: “I ONLY tried to KILL him, because he was planning to BETRAY you! I didn't mean it, PERSONALLY!!!!”

Bionic Gorilla says: “As much as I HATE him, I sense he speaks the truth! Besides, we will NEED him for an upcoming battle!”

Dr. Maniac stops shooting lightning, and he says: “True! With M.O.D.O.K., out of the picture! We're going to have to accelerate our plans! It won't be long before Alma tries to unleash her revenge upon me! So, we'll just have to take the fight somewhere far AWAY from Core Earth! Somewhere that Alma CAN'T interfere, and we'll EVEN take Radiguet DOWN at the same time!”

Meison asks: “If you don't mind me asking, HOW are we going to do THAT?!”

Dr. Maniac says: “It's time to resort to the BIG guns! We STEAL Alphys most PRIZED possession! The robot named, Mettaton!”

Mettzler says: “I heard he went 2 for 5 against BlackHawk himself!”

Fara says: “Usually, you have to pay EXTRA for that!”

Dr. Maniac says: “It's settled then! Kaolite, Villuy, it's time to PROVE yourselves! STEAL Mettaton for me, and we shall go to the outlaw planet of Oynx! We'll find out where Radiguet is heading, no matter WHERE it is! Now, GO!!!!”

Kaolite and Villuy say: “With PLEASURE!!!!”

And they warp away! /

Meanwhile, Woolbur is busy hugging Ramone, having not seen him in so long! Woolbur says: “Ramone, I thought I lost you! I thought I would never see you again!”

Ramone says: “I didn't think I would see YOU again, until Captain Retro and StarHawk saved me!”

Prince Maniac says: “I can't believe Psygorn tried to kill me! I LITERALLY have the WORST father in HISTORY!!!!”

Justin says: “Well, at least ONE of the worst! At least YOUR father was actually around! My father is SO unreliable, he almost NEVER had the time to hang out with me!”

Alma says: “Well, I'm not really good at sharing these...feelings of empathy, as you Rangers seem to call them. But, if you'd like, maybe I could be friends with you, if you'd like.”

Justin says: “Friends. Yeah, I think I could do with some friends!”

Usagi says: “Friends sure are wonderful!”

And everyone proceeds to laugh, until it's cut off by another (Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep!) Naruto says: “Omnus?”

And a female voice urgently says: “No! It's Alphys! Two warrior female scientists are here! Undyne is trying to fight them off, but they're trying to take away—AIEEE!!!!”

And the message gets CUT off!!!! Pinkie says: “Alphys!!!!”

Captain Retro says: “He's enacting his plan EARLY!!!!”

BlackHawk says: “Plan? WHAT plan?!!!”

Captain Retro says: “The plan to attack Radiguet, and Dr. Maniac is going to use METTATON, in order to ACHIEVE his twisted ends!”

FireHawk says: “Man, it's just been one crazy fight, after another!”

Than a familiar creepy voice says: “And it's about to get CRAZIER!!!!”

Lettuce FINALLY wakes up, and he says: “Radiguet, what are YOU doing talking to us?! This is a PRIVATE communication channel!”

Radiguet says: “That would be TELLING, wouldn't it? Besides, why don't you ask PATSY about your morpher?”

Lettuce says: “My morpher?” And he notices his morpher is missing!

Lettuce asks: “Patsy, did you take my morpher?!”

Patsy says: “I can't believe I almost forgot! I just had to borrow it for a bit! I'll explain it later!”

Lettuce gets his morpher back, and Captain Retro says: “I wish I could stay, Patsy. You're a pretty good girl, but we've got business to take care of! We'll be back, later!”

And the Rangers and Captain Retro warp back to the Power Chamber! Toby and Ebony manage to see the streaks of the Power Rangers pass them, and Toby says: “Man, I sure wish WE could do that!”

Ebony says: “You know, I think that might be more trouble than it's worth.”

Toby says: “Well, you're probably right.” /

The Rangers and Captain Retro arrive back at the Power Chamber, and Alpha 8 says: “Captain Retro! I assume your mission to set right what once went wrong went smoothly?”

Captain Retro says: “Yes. The Stable Time Loop has been created, and shall remain for all time. Unfortunately, Radiguet managed to CONTACT us through the communicators!”

And Radiguet's voice says: “AND through the Viewing Globe!”

And the Rangers are all SHOCKED to see Radiguet's face on the Viewing Globe! StarHawk asks: “How are you DOING this?!”

Radiguet says: “Isn't it OBVIOUS? I got the power of T'zeen'tch in my Glove of Power! Defeating him was EASY!!!!”

Naruto asks: “What do you WANT from us?!”

Radiguet asks: “Now WHY must you treat EVERYTHING I say and/or do, like it's SOME sort of gigantic conspiracy? Do you think I'm doing this for FUN?”

Captain Retro asks: “Aren't you?”

Radiguet says: “Now, that's hardly fair. You think your powers are special? I have special powers TO, you know! And, even though the power of a Chaos God is a VERY precious commodity, it doesn't provide me protection! You see, I happen to KNOW of your problem! Dr. Maniac has grown increasingly insane and unstable, even for MY tastes! He was ONLY supposed to kill ONE of the Rangers, and instead, he's tried to target ALL of you! He has continually, and maniacally, failed to follow and obey my DIRECT orders! I cannot TOLERATE someone who is a danger to HIMSELF, and to everyone else AROUND him! Therefore, I am giving you DIRECT permission to, 'Shoot the Dangerous Minion', as you are so fond of saying! You'll be doing yourself a big favor!”

Usagi asks: “How do we know this isn't playing directly into your plans?!”

Radiguet says: “Well, that's simple. You DON'T! But then again, I KNOW you Rangers WON'T allow the likes of Dr. Maniac to run about, KILLING innocent civilians! You NEED to finish him off, regardless of whether or not I want you to do it or not! Anyways, he will be headed to the Planet Oynx, FIRST! You WILL find him, and stop him there! DON'T make me change my course, and have to take care of him MYSELF! I promise you, that you won't like it! But mark my words, we WILL meet again, personally, someday! Oh, and say 'Hi', to Drako for me! I think the Retcon brought HIM back to life, as well! And now, he has the powers of M.O.D.O.K., at HIS disposal! He'll be a 'Hyper Competent Sidekick', to Vipera, now! Farewell!” And Radiguet's face disappears!

BlackHawk says: “Drako is back, with M.O.D.O.K.'s powers? Man, this IS getting crazy!”

Lettuce says: “I don't think we should do this! It's playing RIGHT into Radiguet's plans!”

Captain Retro sighs, and says: “Probably. But unfortunately, 'The Villain Has a Point'. Dr. Maniac, will just continue to resort to more, and MORE insane methods of trying to kill us, and every innocent human in his path! Regardless of what Radiguet wants, we HAVE to finish Dr. Maniac once and for all. As Power Rangers, there is no alternative path but to move forward!” /

To Be Continued, Next Episode! / Enough said, true believers!

[JCM]

Here's the first episode of AfterXat to help everyone catch up with it before I send out the final episode tonight.

----

Episode 1

(CF's dad is sleeping in his prison cell when he's awoken by a knock. He makes out one of the prison officers between the cell bars.)

Officer: You have a visitor.

CF's dad: This late?

(The officer shrugs and unlocks the cell, handcuffing CF's dad and taking him to the visiting area. When CF's dad sees who's on the other side of the glass screen, his heart nearly stops.)

CF: Hi, dad.

CF's dad: I-it's you!

CF: Yeah, sorry for not visiting before today. I had to get over hating your guts and everything.

CF's dad: (shakes head) It's fine. I'm just happy you're alive.

CF: So...how long are you in for?

CF's dad: 20 years with good behavior. I burned a lot of bridges trying to get you back, and I lost you anyway.

CF: Hey, I'm here, aren't I?

CF's dad: Nobody persuaded you to come? Like your friend Edgar?

CF: Why would Edgar want me here?

CF's dad: (pauses) No reason.

CF: It did take a push, but I eventually would have visited you no matter what happened.

CF's dad: So you forgive me? For everything? For your mother?

CF: I don't know if I can forgive you for everything...but that doesn't mean I'll abandon you. For all your flaws, you do at least try to be a good father.

CF's dad: I wish I tried harder. If I survive this prison term, I'm coming out a changed man.

CF: I hope that's true.

Officer: Alright, time's up. Back to your cell.

(The officer takes CF's dad out of the visiting area, and CF is escorted out on her side as well.)

xat.com/help

(ding dong)

SnuggyMush: hey

 Flying Ace: Hi there

 Flying Ace: Need help?

SnuggyMush: yeah

SnuggyMush: is it true that the fugitive four come on here?

 Flying Ace: No

 Flying Ace: Everything connecting this site to aliens is a lie perpetrated by the government

 Flying Ace: This site was run by a great man

 Flying Ace: A great human man

SnuggyMush: was?

SnuggyMush: what happened to him?

 Flying Ace: A member of the Fugitive Four killed him

 Flying Ace: And if I ever see him again I'm banning his ass

 Flying Ace: I know it was him who told the government Xat was run by aliens

 Flying Ace: And nobody uses Xat anymore because of it

SnuggyMush: that's a shame

SnuggyMush: this redesign is pretty cool

 Flying Ace: yeah

 Flying Ace: I haven't talked to the new owner yet but he's doing great work

SnuggyMush: how do you know that the old owner is really dead?

 Flying Ace: I haven't seen him here in years

SnuggyMush: maybe he was just taking a break

(ding dong)

: Hello, Ace.

 Flying Ace: ...

 Flying Ace: Is it really you?

: Yes, it's really me

: That "great human man"

 Flying Ace: Wait a minute

 Flying Ace: Last time I talked to you you were acting really strange

 Flying Ace: And the last last time I talked to you you were John Brennan

 Flying Ace: How do I know it's really you now?

: Because only I would remember the shy 13-year-old boy who came in here ten years ago asking for help setting up a Xat for himself and his Runescape buddies

: Only I would remember the long personal conversations you had with me about your school life, your family, that silly off-and-on thing you had with that girl

: What was her name, Elizabeth?

 Flying Ace: Okay

 Flying Ace: I believe you

: Good

: Where are the other admins I appointed for this Xat?

 Flying Ace: It's just me now

 Flying Ace: The others never came back after the CIA took Xat down but I've always remained loyal

 Flying Ace: Holding out hope that I'd see you again

: Well, here I am

: How is it just us two?

 Flying Ace: Like I said

 Flying Ace: The alien shit really hurt activity

: Well, I'm hoping I can change that

 Flying Ace: If anyone can do it, it's you

 Flying Ace: By the way, Elizabeth and I are engaged now

: Holy shit

: A lot can happen in two years

 Flying Ace: You're telling me

New York

(John Brennan sits down at a bar in Trump Tower. He immediately recognizes the bartender as Hayden.)

Brennan: What are you doing here?

Hayden: Serving you shit that's bad for you. What are you doing here?

Brennan: This is the only bar I could go to where I knew there wouldn't be anybody else. I had to use my credentials just to get past security.

Hayden: At least you don't have to get the daily pat-downs like me.

Brennan: Not unless I ask for one. Think you can pour me a me a few glasses of vodka?

Hayden: That's what I'm paid for.

(Hayden fills three glass cups with vodka and slides them to Brennan, who immediately downs one.)

Brennan: My wife left me, you know. Took the kids. Said she couldn't handle me keeping secrets from her anymore.

Hayden: (shakes head) I'm sorry. I mean it.

Brennan: I know. But really, why are you here?

Hayden: My new BFF Gina Haskel got me this job when I told her I couldn't get work anywhere else due to my name. I probably should have told her I hated being around alcohol, but she probably knew that.

Brennan: Aren't you a millionaire? At least that's what I saw when I tried to seize your assets.

Hayden: You didn't need to. The FBI took most of it when I couldn't explain to them where I got all of my money from. Not even Haskel could help me in that department.

Brennan: So tell me..where did you get all that money from?

Hayden: Mr. Brennan, do you believe in time travel?

(Hayden and Brennan both laugh.)

Brennan: (holds up a glass) Want a shot?

Hayden: No, I'm not much of a fan of poisoning myself.

Brennan: Suit yourself.

(Brennan drinks the second glass of vodka then the third.)

Brennan: What do I owe you?

Hayden: It's on the house.

(Brennan nods then starts to leave before turning around.)

Brennan: I want you to know that as hard as things are right now, they'll get easier.

Hayden: Do you think I'll ever not be miserable?

Brennan: (pauses) I think both of us have hit bottom, and there's nowhere to go but up.

(Brennan turns back around and leaves Trump Tower.)

Hayden: (to himself) Nowhere to go but up. How many times have I said that to myself now?

Illinois

(Abney is reading through legal documents in his apartment when he hears a knock on the door.)

Abney: I'm coming!

(Abney opens the door to find a man with a ski mask standing there and pointing a gun at Abney's face.)

Abney: What do you want?

Masked man: I want you dead.

(The masked man pulls the trigger and quietly closes the door as Abney bleeds to death inside. The masked man opens an app on his phone that contains the real names of Abney, CDCB, CF, Trophy, and Hayden, respectively. He taps Abney's name, and a green check mark appears beside it.)

Masked man: One down, four to go.

(The masked man gets into a car and drives away into the darkness.)

----

And that's it! Sorry for the wait, but at least I have proof now that that I haven't been doing nothing for six months. The rest of the episodes should come out a lot faster. Until then, enough said, XTTrue Believers!

[4EverGreen]

It's taken me entirely WAY too long to post another re-run, but here is my most recently completed episode of "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back", in its complete, entire glory. / Sniz is standing on the Dock of Shame and says: “Last time on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, it was a retro-themed challenge, as we took a page from Total Cartoon Action, and did a movie-themed challenge. In an interesting turn of events, Bubble Bass managed to score both Johnny Krill, AND Tigress into an alliance with him! Usually, you have to pay EXTRA for Tigress! The contestants first had to make their way through a Double Dare obstacle course, before getting the chance to show their talents to the judges, which included former contestants, Lil and Stimpy. Some contestants, like Jenny, Tigress, Po, Bubble Bass, and Danny Fenton, did exceptionally well! But Brittany Miller, on the other hand, most decidedly did NOT! And she ended up COSTING her team of the Killer Prawns, the challenge! So it was to nobody's surprise EXCEPT for Brittany, that she ended up getting the unceremonious boot out of the game! There are only twelve contestants left, and it seems like now is the PERFECT time for the Killer Prawns to make a combat! How will they prove themselves? What will today's challenge end up being? And which former contestant and/or contestants, might make an appearance today? Find out on today's brand new episode, of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! It's going to get HOT, AND COLD!!!!” /
Instead of the normal show open; in purposefully grainy, scratchy visual quality, in shades of reds and blacks, the contestants are running around, trying to avoid the sharp ice formations forming around them, except for Fee and Rico, who ENJOY the pandemonium like CRAZY people, all to the tune of The Beatles' hit song, “Helter Skelter!” / Paul McCartney sings: “When I get to the bottom, I go back to the top of the slide. Where I stop, and I turn, and I go for a ride. Till I get to the bottom, and I see you again! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Do you, don't you want me to love you?! (La, la, la, la, la, la, la la) I'm coming down fast, but I'm miles above you! (La, la, la, la, la, la, la la) Tell me, tell me, tell me, come on, tell me the answer! Well, you may be a lover but you ain't no dancer! (La, la, la, la, la, la, la la) Helter skelter, helter skelter. Helter skelter, yeah! Whoo-hoo! Will you, won't you want me to make you? (Ahhh!) I'm coming down fast but don't let me break you! (Ahhh!) Tell me, tell me, tell me the answer. You may be a lover, but you ain't no dancer! Look out! Helter skelter, helter skelter. Helter skelter. Look out, Helter skelter, 'cause here she comes. Ha! (Guitar solo) When I get to the bottom, I go back to the top of the slide, and I stop and I turn and I go for a ride, and I get to the bottom, and I see you again! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Well, do you, don't you want me to make you? I'm coming down fast, but don't let me break you! Tell me, tell me, tell me your answer! You may be a lover, but you ain't no, dancer! Look out! Helter skelter, helter skelter. Helter skelter. Look out, helter skelter! She's coming down fast! Yes, she is! Yes, she is! Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.” (Guitar solo, changes to a drum solo, while cacophonous noises go on in the background, and the scene turns to static for a brief second, only for the drums and the cacophony to come roaring back). Ringo shouts: “I got blisters on my fingers!” / And the epic song and intro ends. /
“Melter Skelter!” For an unusual start to the show, it opens up in Blonda's FANCY private trailer, which is filled with ALL kinds of gold, ribbons, jewels, and various achievement awards that Blonda has received in Fairy World. In it, Blonda is in her pretty yellow bed robe, and dreaming. And thanks to the magic that she possesses, the audience is able to SEE inside her dream! She is apparently dreaming about BUBBLE Bass of all things, in a scene DIRECTLY inspired by “The Graduate!” In a sultry voice, Blonda asks: “Bubble Bass, would you come in here, please?” Bubble Bass says: “Yeah, sure, what do you...?” And he stops as he notices that Blonda is SEDUCTIVELY putting on a sequined see-through stocking on one of her legs that she has stretched out! Bubble Bass asks: “Are you TRYING to SEDUCE me?! Is THAT what you're TRYING to do?!” Blonda seductively asks: “Would you LIKE me to seduce YOU?! Is THAT what you're trying to do?” Bubble Bass asks: “Do you even KNOW what this dream is BASED on?! And what happens in the MOVIE this dream is based on?! Because it's over 50 years old, NOT protected by Spoiler statute limitations anymore, Mrs. Robinson DOESN'T get Dustin Hoffman's character in the movie!”
Blonda actually STOPS trying to be seductive, and says in her normal voice: “Now, COME on! Can't you at LEAST want me in my DREAM?! It's MY dream, can't you see I'm trying to dream? WORK with me, won't you?” Bubble Bass raises his eyebrow and asks: “Seriously? Why do you even WANT me?” Blonda says: “Well, it's not so much that I WANT you, it's just that after a vast LIFETIME of being an actress and granting the wishes of others, I have come to realize, that there is ONE thing Wanda has that I don't, and that is a child, and a husband of her own. Since I'm PRETTY sure that no one else will even give me the time of day, let alone, talk to me for as long as YOU have, I have made a decision, to try and get together with YOU!!!! Sounds like a pretty SWEET deal, doesn't it? Besides, don't you WANT a woman in your life?” Bubble Bass says: “While it's TRUE that I DO want a woman, I could NEVER love you!” Blonda asks: “How do YOU know?! You haven't even TRIED to be with ME yet!” Bubble Bass says: “Well, for starters, your tacky TASTE in dream references, to movies that MOST of our target audience is NOT going to get, least of all, the way you're TRYING to come on to me! Hard PASS!!!!” Blonda says: “But I could be so GOOD for you!” Bubble Bass rhetorically says: “GOOD for me?! You don't even know what I want!” Blonda asks: “Do YOU?!!!” Bubble Bass gets an anime sweat-drop on the back of his head, and he says: “Honestly, no.” Blonda says: “So, how do you KNOW that you and I aren't compatible?” Bubble Bass says: “I can't DATE someone I just MET!!!! Haven't you ever seen Frozen?! Besides, you're NOT even my same SPECIES!!!!” Blonda says: “Well, that's an easy thing for me to change! I DO have a Magic Wand, you know! Just say the word, and I can change into the fish of YOUR dreams!” Bubble Bass says: “I highly doubt THAT, but what IS that dream?” Blonda says: “Well, that all depends.” Bubble Bass asks: “On what?” Blonda answers: “On you. What would YOU like to see? I can't exactly see into YOUR dreams unless you give me permission to.” Bubble Bass says: “Well, I'm not comfortable with THAT; but I will give you a CHANCE to prove yourself to me!” Blonda asks: “Now WHY do I have to prove MYSELF to you?”
Bubble Bass says: “Because, I know EXACTLY the type of woman you are! You are a shallow, vain, hollow, superficial woman who places looks SOLELY above everything else, and the only reason you TRULY want me, is just to BRAG to everyone else that you were able to make out with me than DUMP me at your first convenience! I've WATCHED X2: X-Men United, and I know BETTER than to fall in love with ANY woman, especially ONE who is 'interested' in me! Turn into a fish that's NOT physically attractive, and if you DO get a kid, you will NOT be able to transform BACK into your attractive self until you have it! That way, I will know for SURE that you're not just trying to USE me for some sick, twisted game of yours!” Blonda is taken aback, and she says: “I am HONESTLY stunned! You actually DO have some knowledge of social behavior of how people act! I didn't think YOU had it in you! Nobody else has EVER confronted me about the way I behave before! It's actually pretty bold! All right! Let's see if THIS trick impresses you!” And Blonda waves her wand, and she transforms herself into a pudgy, purple fish woman with blonde hair, wearing a large red dress with flowers on it, and purple shoes. In her same voice, Blonda says: “I trust this is to your liking?” Bubble Bass says: “Well, at least people will now ACTUALLY believe that you would want to be with me.” Blonda says: “Turn off the lights. We DON'T need people actually SEEING what we're about to do!” Bubble Bass says: “Fair enough.” (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “So, what is the MAJOR reason why I decided to humor Blonda? A simple reason, actually. People might be able to FORGET some fat fish who competed in a reality show, but when you do something as impressive as making out with a HOT fairy woman, who turned herself into a big, purple fish lady just for YOU, than the whole world can't POSSIBLY ignore you! Or else, they'd have to be pretty hard-pressed to try to ignore you! Blonda says that I don't need to show any commitment to her if she strikes it lucky, but I'm not THAT type of guy! I wouldn't run away from her should she be saddled with the responsibility of a child. One thing I know for SURE is, I will NEVER turn out like my father and just run away!” (End Confessional)
In the luxurious hotel the Power Pandas are sleeping in, Theodore has already woken up and wearing his normal clothes, and knocks on the hotel room door, of the room that Danny is sleeping in. In Rodney Dangerfield's voice, Danny says: “Now who in their right mind would wake me up at THIS early hour in the morning?!” Than Danny clears his voice, and in his normal voice, he says: “I mean, who is it?” Theodore says: “Um, it's me. Theodore Seville. I was wondering if I could come in.” Danny thinks about it, and he says: “That depends. Did you just have a nightmare?” Theodore says: “No. I wouldn't bother you about something as trivial as that. I want to talk about Brittany, among other things, if that's all right with you.” Danny sighs, and says: “Fine.” Danny gets up, and opens the door, showing Theodore that he's wearing a pair of blue pajamas. Theodore says: “Um, could you turn the light in your room on? It looks like a ghost house in there!” Danny jerks, and mutters under his breath in Marlon Brando's voice: “Boy, if I had a dollar for every time I heard THAT one...” Theodore asks: “What was that?” Danny assumes his normal voice, and says: “Just talking to myself. I'll turn the light on.” Danny does so, and Theodore comes inside Danny's room. Danny says: “All right, talk away.” Theodore says: “Well, the thing is, I always thought that Brittany Miller would last for a very long time in this competition. Far longer than ME, I might add, so I thought I would have plenty of time to tell her how much I loved her. But now she's GONE!!!! And only two challenges in, at that! If SHE could get booted off SO easily, what chance does that leave ME?!” Danny kind of scoffs as if he can't BELIEVE what Theodore is saying, but Danny clears his throat, and says: “Come ON, Theodore! She was ON the other team! We had absolutely no control over how the OTHER team was going to vote! Besides, if what Po told us was true, than if Tigress WANTS somebody to be gone, than they are GONE, simple as that!”
Theodore thinks about it, and he says: “True. Fair enough, but with the Killer Prawn's DOWN two players, they are going to try exceptionally HARD to win THIS upcoming challenge! I don't think Tigress is going to let us win a THIRD challenge, without her winning one for HER team first; we need a plan to keep ourselves safe in the very likely event that our team DOES lose! I mean, statistically speaking, we MIGHT be the two lowest players within the social status that IS the Power Panda's!” Danny says: “Now that you mention it, any plan we can get to keep OURSELVES safe would be a great benefit to us! What would YOU suggest?!” Theodore says: “Well, out of all the contestants on our team, it seems to me that RICO is the most mentally unstable and unreliable! I mean, Kowalski MAY have control over him for now, but I doubt Kowalski will be able to keep Rico's behavior in check forever! Rico doesn't have any REAL loyalty to ANYBODY except for his fellow penguin commandos! And that's on a GOOD day! If we want to keep ourselves safe, than what WE need to do is give Rico a little push, to go over the emotional edge! He will do something reckless and stupid as a result! When our fellow team-mates see Rico lose it, they will lose their faith in him, and vote him out! Even if we just get Jenny and Po to vote with us, that would be enough to send Rico packing, than Kowalski and Private would have to play ball WITH us, instead of trying to control the way our team is run!” Danny thinks about it, and he says: “Wow, Theodore, that's a really well-thought out, and well-reasoned plan!” Theodore says: “Well, you don't live with a smart brother like Simon Seville for 18 years and NOT pick up on some of the smart strategies that they use!” (Confessional) Theodore says: “Okay, maybe my 'Alvin Seville' is showing a little bit, but I just want to keep myself safe as long as possible. My plan on going under the radar and than making an ally with Brittany after the team merge has fallen through, so I need to make this back-up plan! If I plan on making it all the way until the team merge, than I need to do it for HER...Brittany, that is!” / Danny says: “While Theodore's plan is not necessarily a SAFE one, he does make a valid point! We can't have a solid block of three penguins always VOTING together! If we want to take control of the game, we need to do it now, while we STILL have a chance to!” (End Confessional)
Suddenly, everyone is surprised to hear the loud, unmistakable guitar playing of Jimi Hendrix, as the sound of the live, guitar playing of “The Star Spangle Banner” plays over the loud-speakers! Tigress says: “Now THAT'S what I call a wake-up call! It's time for action! And time for ME, to take back control of the game!” (Confessional) Tigress says: “The two contestants that got eliminated? They were holding us back, anyways! Now that the dead weight is gone, we will be lighter, faster, swifter, stronger, and Po will NOT be able to stop us this time! My claws are registered as lethal weapons! If I accidentally kill somebody with my hands, I could go to jail!” Katarra pops in, and she says: “If anybody accidentally kills ANYBODY, they would go to jail! It's called MANSLAUGHTER, Tigress!” Tigress looks genuinely shocked, and she says: “I'm SURPRISED that you even KNOW that movie reference, given how relatively recent it is as of 2019!” (End Confessional) The contestants all run out to the obstacle course located behind the cabins and the motel, only to gasp in amazement at the two INCREDIBLE fort-sized snow forts, one on both side of the snow-covered field! Sniz says: “Welcome, contestants! Welcome, to your next fun-filled challenge!” Fee says: “Wow! This is amazing! How is this even possible?!” Sniz says: “Blonda GRACIOUSLY decided to let us use her SAFER magic for this challenge, rather than rely on the DUBIOUS magic of the Anti-Fairies! Speaking of, where IS Blonda, anyways? She's supposed to be COACHING this challenge!” General Barracuda comes walking forward, with a piece of paper in his fins, and he says: “I can answer that! I just received this note from Blonda!” Sniz says: “A NOTE?!” Sniz reads aloud, and he quotes: “'To Whom It May Concern, I currently find myself unable to do anymore coaching for this show, as I now find myself incapacitated, and indisposed, due to the fact that I now must take maternity leave for the next nine months. For more details, ask Bubble Bass. Sincerely, Blonda'?! Bubble Bass, did YOU make out with Blonda?!” Bubble Bass gets an Anime sweat-drop, and he says: “Well, yes. But in the first place, it was NOT against the rules to make out with her in the FIRST place! And besides, I have a SECOND good reason as to why I made out with her!” Johnny Krill asks: “Oh, and what reason is that?” Bubble Bass shrugs, and he says: “She LET me!” (Confessional)
Johnny Krill says: “You know, come to think of it, I now do SEE why Blonda would want Bubble Bass to make out with her! I'd say WHAT it is, but standards won't let me on this PG-rated show!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “Dang! Now we need to FIND ourselves a temporary NEW coach to fill in until Blonda can come back!” Fondue says: “I already prepared for such a possibility, with the former contestants that I scheduled to come in today! They were originally just going to DEMO the challenge, but I think they'll agree to coach for the time-being!” Sniz says: “Awesome job, Fondue! I KNEW there was a reason the executives wanted to keep you on for this season! Who ARE the former contestants?!” Fondue says: “You're going to LOVE this! They are TWO of the greatest former contestants to make their debut in season two, please welcome back, Marlene and Dog!!!!” And off of a fancy boat, Marlene and Dog both walk down, to confetti and loud applause! Marlene says: “You LIKE me! You REALLY like me!” Po says: “Of course we like you! I don't think there was any indication that we didn't!” Dog says: “It sure is GREAT to be back HERE! Well, I mean, back on THIS show! It will be GREAT, even if we're just going to be COACHING this season!” Sniz says: “Yeah, about that. Our show only has the budget to hire ONE permanent new coach for this season! So, to determine which ONE of you will become the brand new coach for this season, you will be drafted as coaches for the different teams. And whichever team wins the challenge for THEIR coach, that coach will become the NEW coach for the rest of this season! Pretty awesome, huh?!” Tigress says: “Oh, yeah! I DEFINITELY want Marlene to be the new coach!” Sniz says: “We'll decide the outcome with a coin-toss! Marlene, you make the call! If you're right, you get to pick first! If you're wrong, Dog gets to pick first!” Marlene says: “Heads!” General Barracuda flips a quarter, and it lands TAILS side up! Marlene says: “Rats! Tails!”
Sniz says: “Dog, which team do you want?” Dog says: “That's easy, the BEST team! The Power Pandas!” Sniz says: “That means the Killer Prawns get Marlene! Coaches, go to your new teams!” Marlene begrudgingly goes to the Killer Prawns, and Tigress says: “Don't worry, Marlene, I won't let YOU down! Those Power Pandas are CRAZY if they think they can win THIS challenge!” Po says: “If our team is SO crazy, than how have we been able to beat YOUR team in the past two challenges?” Tigress says: “I hope you don't expect me to dignify that with an actual response!” Dog says: “Sheesh! And I thought that my brother Cat, had problems!” (Confessional) Dog says: “Sure, Cat may have had some days where he got mean, but at least he had good social skills! Tigress doesn't even seem to BOTHER with them, most of the time!” / Marlene says: “I NEED this job, okay?! There are four otter-penguin hybrid pups at home that need to be taken care of, and since I can't count on Maurice to be able to control them forever, I'm going to get this job so I can hire a full-time nanny or something, that will help take the work load off of me! And maybe she'll even sing and dance like Julie Andrews or Emily Blunt if I'm lucky!” / Tigress says: “Po might have been able to exploit the weak links within MY team the past two challenges! But now, MY team has no weak links left! Therefore, the Power Pandas will NEVER be able to stop MY team, now that it is at FULL strength! And if I want to get to the King of THEIR team, I must first go through the pawns! Since Rico is the most psychotic and unstable, I think I'll target HIM first! It will make MY game a whole lot easier if I don't have to worry about such random, unpredictable variables!” (End Confessional)
Sniz says: “Now, here is how the challenge will work. Both teams will be situated in their snow fort, and fire off snowballs at each other. Your snowballs have been coated with Blonda's Fairy Magic, to correspond with your respective Team's, emblem color. Green for the Power Pandas, and Red for the Killer Prawns. Now, while the team's are playing off against each other, you must send out some of your own, to capture the flag located within the other team's fort, and bring it back to your own fort, in order to achieve victory! If you are HIT with a snowball from the other team, the color will STICK to you, and it WON'T come off unless you go back to your fort, which has a special heat lamp designed to melt that snow, and ONLY that snow, so that you can 'Recover', and go back to fighting. So, whoever manages to capture the other team's flag for their team WITHOUT getting hit, will achieve victory for their team! Power Pandas, since you have two extra contestants, you'll have to sit two of your own out.”
Jenny says: “I have to sit this one out. Since snow is made of water, it could cause me to rust, which would make it REALLY problematic for me to function. You understand, right, Po?” Po says: “Of course. I don't hold it against you.” Danny says: “And I think that I'll sit this one out to. I want to give Theodore a chance to shine.” Theodore shockingly asks: “Excuse me?!” Danny says: “Hey, I helped win the challenge in the LAST episode! You need to step up to the plate and prove that YOU deserve to be here as much as me!” Theodore sighs, and says: “Okay, I'll do it. But I won't LIKE it!” And this causes Bubble Bass to roll his eyes in disgust! (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “And here I thought that I was lazy! At least I'm actually TRYING to do these physical challenges, even if I don't like doing them! If Theodore doesn't start showing more initiative, he may find himself going home sooner, rather, than later.” / Theodore sighs, and says: “The things that I'm willing to put myself through, for my own team! I will NEVER complain about those LONG recording sessions with my brothers EVER again!” / Jenny says: “I guess I'm pretty lucky to have winded up on Po's team. I don't think Tigress would have ever taken a 'No', for an answer, even IF it was coming from me! Still, I highly doubt her punches would work against me, being made of Titanium and everything!” / Tigress says: “I wouldn't waste MY time trying to hit Jenny! Not just because I can't physically HURT her, with Jenny BEING a Robot, but because it's against my principle to hurt a fellow female who isn't evil, if I don't HAVE to! Besides, I want to conserve THAT kind of energy, for a later, more difficult challenge! Foresight, that's why I WILL win in the end!” (End Confessional)
Sniz says: “We need a proper song to start off this challenge right! Fondue, what's the word from Disney?” Fondue says: “They STILL say they won't let us USE any songs from that 'Chilly' animated movie that they made in 2013 unless we pay them $80 million for it!” Sniz says: “$80 million for ONE song?! PLEASE!!!! We can use that one Annie Lennox song, and SAVE ourselves $78 million! Jenny, since you're not participating in this challenge anyways, why don't YOU provide us with that song?” Jenny says: “Well, I DO have over 10,000 songs belonging to 300 different musical acts in my personal data-banks! I have the song you're looking for! Will Cold, performed by Annie Lennox do?” Sniz says: “Yes, that will do just fine.” Jenny produces speakers from the side of her body, and begins playing Cold, as sung by Annie Lennox. During the song sequence, participating contestants from both sides, begin throwing their color-coated snowballs at each other, while Bubble Bass, Johnny Krill, Kowalski, Private, and Theodore all try various attempts to sneak to their opposite teams' fort, but to no avail.
Annie Lennox sings: “Come to me, run to me, do and be done with me. Cold, cold, cold. Don't I exist for you? Don't I still live for you? Cold, cold, cold. Everything I possess, given with tenderness, wrapped in a ribbon of glass. Time it may take us, but God only knows, how I've paid for those things in the past. Dying is easy, it's living that scares me to death. Ooh, yeah. I could be so content, hearing the sound of your breath. Ooh, yeah. Cold is the color of crystal, the snow light that falls from the heavenly skies. Catch me, and let me dive under, for I want to swim in the pools of your eyes. I want to be with you baby! Oh, slip me inside of your heart! Don't I belong to you baby? And don't you know that nothing can tear us apart?! Come on now, come on now, come on now; I'm telling you that I loved you right from the start! But the more I want you, the less I get. Ain't that just the way things are? Ooh, yeah. (Instrumental break) Winter has frozen us, let love take hold of us. (Cold, cold, cold). Now we are shivering, blue ice is glittering. (Cold, cold, cold). Cold, is the color of crystal, the snow light that falls from the heavenly skies. Catch me, and let me dive under, for I want to swim in the pools of your eyes. Don't you know it?! Cold, cold. Cold, cold, cold! Cold, cold, cold! Ooh, ooh, yeah!” And the epic song ends. / Sniz says: “Wow! A whole song down, and it is STILL an even match! We have to take a break now, but be sure to come back for the COOL second act of this episode, on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!” / (Commercial Break) / Sniz is standing a safe distance away from the Snow Forts, and he says: “Welcome back to the action in progress on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! We are currently at a standstill in terms of progress, but lets check in on the Killer Prawns, and their coach, who are currently discussing strategies, in terms of how to potentially win this challenge!” /
The camera shifts to inside the Killer Prawns' Snow Fort, and Marlene says: “Guys, it is clear to me that it is time for ME to come up with a strategy for US to win, since Tigress' plan of, 'Just attack the other side like CRAZY'; isn't WORKING for us!” Tigress scoffs, and says: “I do NOT sound like THAT!!!!” Fee says: “You probably COULD if you TRIED hard enough! Johnny Krill asks: “Well, why don't we get Katarra to lay some of her water-bending skills on the other team?” Katarra says: “I don't wish to get heavily involved in such a matter.” Tigress asks: “Oh, really? And why is that?” Katarra says: “I prefer using words as opposed to just blindly solving my problems with my fists, and I don't wish to be involved in more wars than I have to be. I have already been involved with helping to stop the Fire Lord Ozai, and I wish to refrain from having to fight as heavily as I did back then, at least for the next sixty years!” Marlene says: “Well, my plan doesn't involve YOU anyways, Katarra! The answer is obvious! If we want to get that flag, we're going to need something BIG and unexpected, that the Power Pandas can't POSSIBLY prepare for!” Fee says: “Oh, I know! LETS get Bubble Bass NAKED!!!!” Marlene and Bubble Bass both roll their eyes, and simultaneously say together: “Fee, we are NOT that DESPERATE for ATTENTION!!!!” Bubble Bass clears his throat, and he says: “Sorry, Marlene, totally didn't plan for that!” Marlene says: “Understood. And Fee, such an act would be completely EXPECTED and derivative. I will be more creative than that!”
Johnny Krill says: “Let's hope so! Your potential job is at stake!” Marlene says: “Your task is to get the other teams flag! All that matters is that you get it! Fortunately, I had the foresight to watch the two episode challenges you guys have already been in, so I KNOW of the big weakness, that will keep the Power Pandas busy!” Katarra closes her eyes, and says: “It involves Rico, doesn't it?” Marlene sputters, and she says: “Don't be a living SPOILER alert, Katarra! Our audience wants more suspense than THAT!” Katarra says: “It's not MY fault I'm THAT clairvoyant!” Marlene says: “You know, you COULD give it a shot and, PRETEND to NOT know everything!” Katarra asks: “And be like Stephanie Meyer? No, thanks! I prefer to give MY fans something GOOD! They expect nothing less from me!” Tigress says: “You know, I find it hard to believe that I CAN'T actually argue with that!” Johnny Krill says: “Me, to!” (Confessional) Marlene says: “You know, I can see WHY Katarra is Aang's girlfriend! She's as headstrong and as stubborn as HE was! The only thing that's better about HER than Aang is, I don't actually have to COMPETE as a contestant, against HER!” / Tigress says: “Katarra said something that I can't actually ARGUE against! And for me, that means trouble! If she is able to say something that I can't DISPROVE of, it COULD prove to be problematic for me in a future challenge! After all, I'm SUPPOSED to be the ultimate AUTHORITY of my team! Nobody gets the last word over ME! If Katarra doesn't watch herself, SHE may just find herself to be the next boot out of MY team!” / Bubble Bass says: “Katarra certainly is smart, I will give her that. However, she doesn't seem to be able to tell just when and where revealing her given intelligence at any one time, might be a good or a bad thing, depending on the situation at hand. And THAT, is where I have an advantage over her. I know better than to speak out of turn against Tigress, and that's why I will be able to keep myself out of Tigress' personal hit list, and get myself to the Final Five! Foresight, that's the way I see myself winning THIS game!” / Fee says: “I was just trying to be funny! It's not MY fault nobody gets MY sense of humor!” (End Confessional)
Marlene takes out a small, brown pouch, opens it, and reveals something red and SPICY!!!! Johnny Krill says: “Wow! What's that?!” Marlene says: “They're a brand new cross breed between Habanero and Ghost Peppers, developed by Lil Deville herself! In fact, they are supposed to be SO dangerous, you can't even BUY these unless you live in Russia!” Fee says: “What are you gonna do with those?” Marlene says: “You mean, what is BUBBLE BASS gonna do with those?!” Bubble Bass scoffs, and asks: “Wait! Why ME?!” Marlene says: “The Power Pandas are automatically going to know SOMETHING is up if Tigress just tries to walk over there!”
Katarra says: “Marlene has a point. Tigress IS too conspicuous! Bubble Bass has a MUCH better chance at succeeding, lucky YOU!!!!” Bubble Bass sarcastically says: “Yeah, lucky me.” Marlene seals the brown pouch, and gives it to Bubble Bass. Marlene says: “Now, when you get over to the other fort, feed these to Rico! Since he can't CONTROL the fiery explosiveness of peppers, he'll get red hot and spew red hot flames, melting the other teams' arsenal! Which will make it easy to keep the Power Pandas at bay, and for Bubble Bass to steal their flag!” Johnny Krill says: “The only question is, HOW is Bubble Bass going to GET to the other Snow Fort in the FIRST place?” Marlene says: “Well, we ARE going to need SOME kind of distraction!” Tigress says: “OR, I COULD just THROW him there! After all, throwing a fish is like throwing a sword, and throwing your sword always works!” Fee asks: “THAT'S your PLAN?!!!” Tigress says: “Maybe you didn't HEAR me, young child. I SAID...” She grabs Bubble Bass, picks him up with GREAT ease, despite his weight, gauges the distance to the other fort, and Tigress shouts: “THROWING, YOUR, SWORD, ALWAYS, WORKS!!!!” And launching Bubble Bass like a rocket, she SUCCESSFULLY aims Bubble Bass RIGHT into the MIDDLE of the Power Pandas Snow Fort! The Power Pandas suddenly JERK up in a flash, and Po asks: “What was THAT?! Rico, you go check on it!” Rico raises his flipper and says: “Bleh!” As if to say: “I'm on it!” Danny Fenton jerks into being Rodney Dangerfield, and he says: “It sounded like the asteroid that took out the dinosaurs, or Titan A.E., which ruined Don Bluth's directing career!”
Danny Fenton jerks into being Bette Davis, and he says: “All I know is, if I had been around to lend my voice to that movie, I KNOW it would have done better, REALLY it would have!” Rico looks around, and he spots Bubble Bass, but Bubble Bass quickly covers Rico's mouth, and Bubble Bass quietly says: “Don't say anything! I'll give you these delicious, spicy peppers, if you look the other way. You LIKE, delicious spicy peppers, don't you?!!!” Rico gets a CRAZED look in his eyes, and he says, even SUBTITLED, it says: “BREWITHEDGOTALIBSTURGLE?!!!” And Rico GRABS all the spicy peppers from Bubble Bass, and DEVOURS them all in one gulp! But it doesn't take LONG at all, for the PURE heat within the peppers, to affect Rico's body, and in a painful cry, he yells: “BLEH!!!!!!!!! And Rico starts running around, with his beak WIDE open, and with the flames emitting from his mouth, STARTS burning all the snow within the Power Pandas' Snow Fort, including the Snow Fort ITSELF!!!! Theodore says: “Rico has gone CRAZY!!!! What on Earth is the matter with him?!” Kowalski says: “Someone must have fed Rico hot, spicy peppers again! He loves the taste of them, but he can't HANDLE the sheer, spicy power within the peppers!” Private says: “You've got to stop him! He will ruin our chances for winning this challenge!” Kowalski says: “You mean WE'VE got to stop him!” Private asks: “Are you SERIOUS?!” Kowalski says: “You want to be an elite penguin spy, one day? Well, than it's time you learned a hard truth. Sometimes, you have to stop a fellow comrade, for their own good. It's never easy, but it's the right thing to do!” Private sighs, and says: “Well, if you say so.” (Confessional)
Private says: “I just think that there's got to be SOME alternative to having to restrain Rico! I mean, sure we've had some difficult times in the past, but we've always found a way to handle things, without resorting to brute force! All I know is, I did NOT sign up for hurting a fellow penguin, no matter WHAT the circumstances are!” / Kowalski says: “The problem with dealing with an unknown variable, is simply the fact that you can NEVER predict what they are going to do, or how they're going to behave! Most of the time, Rico is INDEED valuable to have; but throw in hot, spicy peppers, or something like that, than ALL bets are off! And if we don't get a handle on him, it could result in his elimination, which could put both Private and me, in a VERY tough spot!” (End Confessional) Kowalski and Private run after Rico, but Rico's speed is MUCH too fast for him! Kowalski says: “Rico, you've got to calm down!” Private says: “Listen to Kowalski, you've got to calm down!” Po asks: “Do you guys need any help?!” Kowalski says: “The thought had crossed my mind!” Po says: “Come on, Dog, and Danny! We've got to help him!” Dog says: “Keep an eye on the other team, Theodore! They might TRY to take advantage of this whole situation!” Theodore nervously says: “Okay, if you say so!”
Bubble Bass says: “Everyone is completely distracted! Now's my chance! And, as fast as he can, Bubble Bass runs up the snow steps of the snow tower, which hasn't been melted by Rico yet! Everyone else EXCEPT Theodore, is struggling to keep Rico still, and Po says: “Why won't Rico, just hold STILL?!!!” Kowalski says: “Rico never WAS much for thinking rationally!” Theodore looks around, glances towards the snow tower, than back, than he quickly glances back when he sees Bubble Bass taking DOWN the flag, from the Snow Tower, and Theodore nervously says: “Guys?” Danny says: “Not now, Theodore!” Theodore says louder: “GUYS?!!!” Dog says: “Theodore, we're BUSY!!!!” Theodore practically screams, and he yells: “GUYS!!!!” Kowalski stuffs some SNOW into Rico's beak, calming him down, and everyone else finally turns around and shouts: “WHAT?!!!” But they all receive their answer when Bubble Bass quickly jumps down, and lands in the snow with the flag of the Power Pandas, and Theodore groans, and he weakly says: “Bubble Bass HAS our flag!” Bubble Bass says: “And from where I stand, you are ALL out of AMMO!” Jenny gazes in horror, and she says: “He's RIGHT! All our snow ammo has been melted!” Bubble Bass says: “Well, this has been a LOVELY day but, I've got a challenge to win!” And Bubble Bass starts running BACK to his snow fort, and Po shouts: “Someone STOP him!” Danny JERKS into being Rodney Dangerfield, GRABS Private, and Private asks: “What are you doing?!”
Danny, imitating Rodney Dangerfield, says: “You're a bird, so FLY, bird, FLY!!!!” But Danny THROWS too high, WAY over Bubble Bass AND over the Killer Prawns' Snow Fort, and Private heads toward a forest, which has a sign that says: “Home to the Rare, Lake Michigan Porcupines, SHARPEST Porcupines In the World!” Private says: “NOT Porcupines AGAIN!!!!” And Private disappears into the forest, and he loudly screams: “OW!!!! OW!!!! OW!!!! OW!!!! OW!!!!” (Confessional) Private is now in a body cast, covered with porcupine needles, and he says: “On the bright side, the porcupines were STILL very apologetic!” (End Confessional) Danny grabs Kowalski, and Danny says: “Fly bird, FLY!!!!” And although Danny throws BETTER with Kowalski, Danny STILL doesn't aim low enough, and Kowalski heads towards the forest and Theodore says: “WATCH OUT FOR THAT...!!!!” (BANG!!!!) Theodore weakly says: “Tree.” Kowalski wearily walks back into the snow fort, and Po asks: “Are you all right?” But Kowalski is CLEARLY out of it, and he says: “Don't be ridiculous! I'm just as juxtaposed as the next flippety gibbet!” Danny says: “Your turn, squirrel!” Theodore says: “But I'm a Chip...!” Danny THROWS Theodore and Theodore screams: “MUNK!!!!” And Theodore lands RIGHT in the middle of the fort by the Killer Prawns, and is staring RIGHT at a VERY angry Tigress, and she says: “WELL?!!!” Theodore smiles, giggles nervously, and he sincerely says: “I'm sorry. I'll just, see myself out!” And Theodore runs RIGHT past Bubble Bass without even making an ATTEMPT at getting their flag back! Danny jerks BACK into being normal, and he says: “That was your CHANCE to be a hero! Why didn't you take THEIR flag! Or better yet, get OUR flag back?!” Theodore says: “Well, I PANICKED, okay?! It's not easy to THINK straight when you've got 160 pounds of pure TIGRESS muscle looking at you!”
Fee says: “We're actually going to win this!” Jenny says: “Not if I have anything to say about it!” Jenny produces a vacuum, and inhales the REMAINDER of the Power Pandas snow, and she aims toward Bubble Bass, and says: “I'll get YOU anyways, chubby!” Marlene says: “Bubble Bass! THROW the flag, NOW!!!!” Bubble Bass looks back and SEES Jenny hovering, and, in slow-motion, throws the flag!!!! Jenny releases a GIANT green snowball, it heads towards Bubble Bass, Johnny jumps up and GRABS the flag, jumps back DOWN into the Killer Prawns' Snow Fort, and Po slowly shouts: “NO!!!!” As the Green snowball POINTLESSLY hits Bubble Bass, and the action resumes normal speed, and Johnny shouts: “We got the flag, we got the flag, we got THE flag!!!!” Sniz says: “And it's over, it's ALL over! It was an unorthodox method, but the Killer Prawns have finally done it! They have won their FIRST challenge!”
Tigress says: “YES!!!! In your FACE, Po!!!!” Fee goes to Bubble Bass, and she says: “Wow; I was REALLY impressed by your bravery, Bubble Bass! Way to take one for the team!” Bubble Bass gets up, and shivers, as he says: “W-well, y-you kn-know m-me! A-Always, h-happy t-to h-help!” Tigress says: “Katarra, run a bath of hot water for Bubble Bass and warm him back up!” Katarra grabs Bubble Bass, and she says: “I'm on it!” And Katarra takes Bubble Bass to the fancy hotel! Tigress says: “In the meantime, it's time for the Killer Prawns to move their belongings to the fancy hotel!” Sniz says: “She's right, Power Pandas! With victory by the Killer Prawns, your stuff will be moved into the cabins for the time being. And Marlene, welcome to being a full time PAID coach on our joyful staff of employees!” Marlene says: “WHOO-HOO!!!! I'm BACK, fellows! I KNEW you couldn't stand to be without me!” Sniz turns toward the Power Pandas, and Sniz says: “Power Pandas, what can I say? You had a good run, but nothing lasts forever. Get yourselves cleaned up, and prepare for tonight, when you have to face your first Elimination Ceremony as a team, where you will have to vote off, one of your own!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass is drinking some hot cocoa, and he says: “On the one hand, I could have LIVED without getting hit by a giant snowball. But if it means, getting to drink hot cocoa, taking nice, warm, PRIVATE baths, and getting to sleep on a COMFORTABLE bed, with all my jewels, than I guess it's worth the little discomfort I had to face to get it. Plus, Tigress is now happy, so I guess she thinks I'm a hero, now!” /
Marlene is now dressed up in a coaches outfit, and she says: “Well, looks like things worked out my way after all! The determination by the Killer Prawns has really helped me out, and now I'll be here full time! Or, at least until Blonda comes back. Either way, I'll enjoy the ride while I can!” / Johnny Krill says: “We sure are lucky Marlene decided to be on OUR side! We would've been in BIG trouble if she wound up with the Power Pandas!” / Private and Danny are together, and Danny is BUSY picking out the porcupine quills embedded within Private! Private says: “OUCH!!!! All in all, today really wasn't our day when it came to challenges! Danny jerks into being Rodney Dangerfield, and he says: “You can say THAT again!” Private says: “I could, but I won't! OUCH!!!! In any case, it is very clear to me that despite being good to us in most normal cases, Rico clearly can't be relied on to be a team player! We may have to vote him out, if we want to make SURE that WE stay safe for the time being!” Danny jerks into being Marlon Brando, and he says: “I quite agree with you. It's time for the bum to go home.” / Kowalski and Jenny are together, and Kowalski wearily says: “It's time for Rico to take the Flying Express.” Jenny says: “I think what you mean to say is, Rico was the CAUSE of all our troubles today, so we NEED to eliminate him, if we want to AVOID any such problems in the future!” Kowalski says: “You're darn tootin'!” / Po says: “I feel really bad about this! I truly do! But Rico HAS to go, for the good of everyone else on our team! We can't afford another freak-out like the one he had today! As the team leader of the Power Pandas, I HAVE to make tough choices like these! It's not easy, but it MUST be done!” / Theodore says: “I know I should feel ashamed. If I had been a better player, we might not have lost today! But I KNOW that I can do BETTER than this! I WON'T let my team down again! So, if I just vote off Rico, I can save myself, and become a better player for my team! I know it might seem a bit too 'Alvin' for my tastes, but I have to prove myself to Brittany, and to my brothers! I have to show everyone what I'm made of!” / Rico weakly says: “Bleh, bleh, bleh!” As if to say: “I've got nothing!” (End Confessional)
It is night-time, and the Power Pandas are all fixed up, cleaned up, and at the Bonfire Ceremony. Sniz says: “Contestants for the Power Pandas team, welcome to your first Elimination Ceremony as contestants. The Killer Prawns are already familiar with how this works, but since this is YOUR first time here, I'll explain the rules to you as well. Just like in the first season of our show, you will vote for a contestant to be voted off. If you are safe, you will receive a normal marshmallow. But NOT like our first season, if you are eliminated, you will be given a potentially hazardous Anti-Fairy purple marshmallow, that causes random effects to whatever it touches. Since the Anti-Fairy marshmallow is completely unpredictable, I'd recommend AGAINST touching it, if you want to stay safe! Now, go into the Confessional, choose a playing card, and mark the face of the contestant, that you want voted off! A simple X is all it takes! So, let's get--!!” A familiar female voice says: “Yoo-hoo! I'm back!” General Barracuda groans, and says: “Not HER, again!!!!” And Brittany Miller, riding a hang-glider, swoops down in on the proceedings, and lands a very PERFECT landing! Brittany takes off her pilot gear, and says: “I'm ready for my come-back!” Fondue says: “You know, in order to MAKE a come-back, you have to have actually been...I don't know! A CREDIBLE contestant to begin with!” Brittany says: “I'm not here for the money! Like I NEED it! I'm just here to get valuable screen-time, that could lead to a potential spin-off series starring YOURS truly!” Sniz says: “Look, when I say that someone is OUT, they are OUT!!!!” But Sniz then gets a cell phone call, and he says: “Excuse me!” Sniz answers the phone and he says: “Hello! Sniz Brokowski here!” Sniz listens, and he says: “Oh, Alvin Seville!” Sniz listens some more, and Sniz exclaims: “WHAT?!!! You're willing to pay HOW MUCH money if we let Brittany back on our show?! SERIOUSLY?!” Sniz listens some more, and he says: “All right, you got a deal, Alvin!” Brittany smiles, and she says: “Thank you, Alvin!” Sniz says: “All right! Brittany, as of right now, you are now back on our show, as an Intern!” Brittany yells: “An INTERN?!!!”
Than Brittany THINKS about it, and she asks: “I'm STILL going to get paid and get good screen-time, correct?” Sniz nods his head, and he says: “Especially if you do a good job.” Brittany simply shrugs her shoulders, and she says: “Eh, I can live with that. Better than nothing!” Sniz says: “It's settled than. Fondue, get Brittany oriented and up to speed. Power Pandas, choose a contestant that YOU want to eliminate, and VOTE!” (Confessional) Po chooses Rico's playing card, and he says: “Nothing personal, all right? I hope you can understand that!” / Theodore nervously, but firmly, chooses Rico's playing card, and he says: “Sorry, but it's either me or you!” / Rico angrily chooses Theodore's playing card, than he points to it with his flipper, makes a weird face, and says: “Bleh!” / Danny chooses Rico's playing card, and Danny says: “This is probably going to be the EASIEST Elimination Ceremony that our team EVER has to face! No hard choices to be made here!” / Jenny, with a serious face, chooses Rico's playing card, and she says: “Ally of the penguins or not, I have to vote you off. It's only logical!” / Private and Kowalski are together, and both are holding onto a playing card with Rico's playing card. Private nervously asks: “Kowalski, are you SURE we should DO this?!” Kowalski says: “It's the only chance WE have of making it to the Final Three! If we want to save the world, we have to save ourselves, first!” Private sighs and says: “Very well, then. But IF we do this, it will be OUR secret, forever!” Kowalski nods his head, and says: “Agreed!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “Voting is over, it's time to reveal who is safe, and who is eliminated! Here is who will receive the safe marshmallows! Po! Jenny! Danny! Private! Kowalski!” Theodore looks nervously at Rico, and Rico just looks angrily back at Theodore! Sniz says: “Contestants, there is ONE final safe marshmallow left, and the last safe marshmallow goes to, NOT Rico!!!!” Rico questioning asks: “Bleh?”
Than ducks to avoid the Anti-Fairy Marshmallow, as it hits a rock, and makes it EXPLODE upon contact! Jenny twitches nervously, and she says: “OOH! That would give even ME quite a boo-boo!” Private is stunned, and he says: “I don't understand! I thought your plan would work!” Sniz says: “Sorry to BURST your bubble, penguins, but a little ANTI-FAIRY, named Anti-Cosmo, told me of your plan!” Anti-Cosmo says: “I hate to break it to you, but if you thought you could pull the SAME stunt that Jimmy Neutron pulled in season one, and Snaptrap pulled in season three, you wasted your time! I am in charge of monitoring ALL the votes for this season, so I know EXACTLY who voted for WHOM, and who TRIED to alter the votes, to try to SAVE Rico!” Rico happily says: “Bleh?!” As if to says: “Really?!”
Private looks toward Rico, and Private says: “You're our MATE, Private! We could NEVER vote you off, no matter what anyone else thinks!” Sniz says: “And you KNOW that there's a RULE in place about contestants who TRY to break the rules!” Kowalski sighs, and says: “Sniz, I beg of you! Punish me if you must, but leave Private out of this! He TRIED to talk me out of it! He warned me that it was a bad idea! But I wouldn't listen! It was MY idea alone, to try to alter the votes! If there's a punishment, than I'll take it!” Sniz says: “So be it, then! Kowalski, YOU are automatically BARRED from participating from the next challenge! If your team loses it, you will probably find yourself JOINING Rico as an Eliminated Contestant!” Kowalski groans, and says: “Ooh, boy!” Sniz puts safety gear on Rico, and General Barracuda places all of Rico's bags with him, on the Giant Slingshot of Shame! Sniz says: “Any last words, to say, Rico?” Rico tries to think of something, but the Slingshot is activated, and Rico screams: “BLEH!!!!” General Barracuda smiles and says: “Couldn't have said it better myself!” Sniz says: “Three contestants down, and eleven contestants to go! The competition between the Power Pandas and the Killer Prawns is heating up! It is practically the guess of ANYONE, who might wind up being the winner of the next challenge! Find out which team it will be, on the next exciting episode, of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!” / Episode Notes: Featured Songs in this episode are “Helter Skelter” (referenced in the episode title as “Melter Skelter”), and “Cold”. Blonda leaves the show in this episode, due to making out with Bubble Bass, and becoming pregnant with a child, and stuck as a chubby fish for nine months.
Marlene becomes the NEW coach in Blonda's place, and it is revealed that Marlene is now the mother to four hybrid otter-penguin pups, that she had with Skipper. First challenge that the Power Pandas lost, and the first time that an ATTEMPT to rig the votes to SAVE someone, DIDN'T work as planned. Rico is eliminated as a contestant. Brittany Miller returns as an Intern. Contestants remaining: Bubble Bass (Killer Prawn); Danny Fenton (Power Panda); Fee (Killer Prawn); Jenny Wakeman (Power Panda); Johnny Krill (Killer Prawn); Katarra (Killer Prawn); Kowalski (Power Panda); Po (Power Panda); Private (Power Panda); Theodore Seville (Power Panda); Tigress (Killer Prawn). / Eliminated: #14, Bessie Higgenbottom (“The Mighty B!”). / #13: Brittany Miller (“Alvinnn!!!! And the Chipmunks”). #12, Rico (“The Penguins of Madagascar”). / Personal Notes: Sadly, Rico was always going to be the first of the Penguins to be eliminated this season. While his antics are certainly fun and entertaining to watch on the show where he originally came from, they don't translate well to a team-based setting, where team-work is essential. And a loose cannon like Rico, was always going to be a ROUGH fit with contestants who expect their fellow team-mates to keep a calm, reasonable demeanor, and not go crazy at the drop of a hat. That's why Rico HAD to take the fall in this episode! And also why, to make up for his loss, why I decided to add Marlene back into the show as the new coach! So even though we're losing a representative from that show as a contestant, we have a full-time representative from that show, back as a coach! And since I always LOVE being able to write for Marlene, you KNOW there's going to be a lot more golden opportunities to be had for her, and the remaining contestants! / That's it for my episode idea today! Enough said, true believers!

[Steel Sponge]

4EverGreen, as overlord, had requested me to re-post something I had previously written. So here's a re-run of the first eps of UWS SBC, in time for its 10th anniversary later next month:

 

1. Gone Industrial (Part 1) (A.K.A the Beginning)

The camera turns on and reveals a nearby ocean, a submarine, and jjsthekid.

“Welcome to Underwater Survivor: SBC edition!” jjsthekid announced. "I'll be the host of this, and I'd also like you to meet co-host that70sguy92!”

”Now, you’re all asking, how was this all possible?” jjs said. “We got a contract, thought we can try a show, and we have our very first Underwater Survivor!” He continued.

“Now, this is a series of underwater related survival, to our finest members from SBC: The Spongebob Community.” He then goes inside the submarine.

“This here is the travel vehicle, and the ceremony for our contestants,” said 70sguy. “In total, we have 17 competitors arriving any minute now, and of course, there will be elimination.”

”First, we combine those 17 of our pals into teams along with a team captain; at least one gets immunity, following up our ceremony. All but one will have a shish kabob, or if we wanted to, all but two.” Jjs continued explaining.

So, what’s our grand prize? It’s no other than 500,000 gold doubloons!” 70sguy announced.

He and that70sguy then stepped out of the submarine and arrived back at the arrival station for their contestants. A boat arrived and dropped off the first one: SG10.

“How’s it hanging, SG10?” jjs asked as she arrived.

“Great, I can’t believe I’m in a spin-off reality show,” SG10 replied. “Call me science girl if you want. So…is this a chain of physical, underwater endurance challenges?” She continued.

“Sure it is, good use of your words back there,” said 70sguy. The next boat arrived and dropped off The Cartoon.

“Hey there, The Cartoon, haven’t seen you in a while,” said jjs.

”Haven’t seen you for long either,” The Cartoon replied. “So, this is the new Underwater Survivor?”

“Of course it is, you’ll be astonished of what I and 70sguy have in store,” jjs answered.

Another boat arrived and there came contestant #3: Bob_Ball.

“Wait a minute, jjs, 70sguy, SG, The Cartoon, I never thought this would be possible, but I never agreed to this,” said Bob_Ball.

”Actually you did, it’s in the contract, and I know 70s makes a ton of copies,” jjs replied.

“So, how long will this be, three days, weeks…?” Bob_Ball questioned.

“Probably…8 weeks,” jjs answered. “At least you’re in a non-n00b paradise, Bob_Ball.

”The fourth boat drops off SpongeSebastian, with a given close-up.

“Hey there Sebastian,” said 70sguy.

“70sguy, jjs, and everyone else in person? This is definitely wicked as SBC itself,” said SpongeSebastian.

“It will be, once we can boost our ratings higher than the other original series of Underwater Survivor,” jjs replied.

“Hmm, I hope we can achieve that goal,” said SG10.

The fifth contestant arrived at the station and gave a somewhat stern look. It was ExKizuna.

“I appreciate meeting all of you like this, but not particularly anywhere near 300 feet underwater. I’m going to call home,” said Ex.

“You can’t, you agreed to our contract, unless you want to get rid of yourself in the first few challenges,” jjs replied.

“Whatever, but I’m still not amused,” Ex continued. He then saw the sixth one arrive, tvguy347.

“Hey Ex, glad to see you came!” He said.

“Hmm, maybe I can handle a couple of challenges,” Ex thought.

“Nice to meet you jjs,” he greeted.

“I know how confident you will be during our survival challenges, tvguy,” jjs replied. “And here comes #7!"

Queen Malie stepped out of the boat and said, “Underwater Survivor with us pals, nice touch.”

“All right then, just ten more and we can finally get this show on the road,” said 70sguy.

“Yeah, the suspense is killing me already,” said tvguy.

Here comes contestant #8: PokeSponge123.

”And the one man from the United Kingdom, it is PokeSponge123,” jjsthekid announced.

“Thanks, I’m just itching for everything,” PokeSponge123 replied.

“Okay, let’s speed up some more,” said 70sguy.

The ninth contestant arrives at the station, it was Clapmaster.

“Clapmaster, I can’t believe it’s you!” Tvguy exclaimed, while he and everyone else glomped on him.

“Wow, a huge crew of former TV.com members,” said Clapmaster.

“Well, it sucks now,” said Bob_Ball.

“Jjs, an Underwater Survivor in late August?” Clapmaster thought.

”Maybe it’s because we want to see some of your early stunts in this show,” said jjs.

“I guess you’re right, no one can penetrate the master of clapping,” he replied.

Contestant #10: Dragiiin123 was next, “I have nothing to say, except I can really pull it off more if I were host,” Dragiiin commented.

”Alright, I hope you have fun here,” said 70sguy.

“Hell yes I will, no n00b in sight is the best part in this game show,” Dragiiin replied.

That was until the eleventh person, Goosebumpsfan2 arrived, Dragiiin and Ex had fire in their eyes, while the rest stood like statues.

“Oh my goodness, I’m finally here, thank you stalking!” Goosey said.

“Okay then, for someone we didn’t assign a contract to, making sure you get booted off, big time,” said jjs.

“I wish that Candace fanboy…or whatever can just disappear,” Ex thought.

Then there was contestant #12: CF3689 as she steps off the boat.

“Hallelujah, there’s my girl!” Dragiiin said and then glomps on CF.

”Hey there Dragiiin. It’s also nice to see the rest of you,” CF greeted.

“Thank you CF,” 70sguy said.

“Five more left, yadda, yadda,” said jjs.

The thirteenth contestant arrived at the station. It was Santa Dog, or preferably known as Elastic.

“Elastic, it’s nice seeing you here,” 70sguy greeted.

“Sure and whatever, there’s something wrong with this picture,” Santa Dog said, referring to his brochure and his contract.

“Was it necessary to bring Elastic here?” Tvguy asked.

“Well, it’s worth a shot,” jjs answered.

As we all know what’s going to happen, the fourteenth one arrived, known as spongebobs1fan.

“Sbs1fan, glad you can make it,” PokeSponge123 said to him.

“You must be the other contestants; it’s going to be awesome behind the camera!” Sbs1fan replied.

“And oh yeah, here comes Wumbology,” 70sguy said, referring to the next person to arrive at the scene.

“Jjs, I just want to say you’ve surprised me,” Wumbology commented.

“Well, I think that’s everybody,” said Santa Dog.

“No it's not, we’re missing a couple. Steel Sponge and 4EverGreen are on my list,” jjs reminded.

“Well, if they’re going to show up pretty darn late, I say we keep them that way,” said SpongeSebastian.

“Alright then…come inside the submarine and your teams will be formed,” said 70sguy. The 15 contestants went inside while jjs is making the announcement.

“Okay, we called 17 of you SBC members to compete for 500,000 doubloons, only if Goosebumpsfan was never involved,” jjs announced.

“Now’s the time to divide you cast mates into teams, starting with Team #1. “Wumbology, SG10, Goosebumpsfan2, SpongeSebastian, and Santa Dog, you’re Team Algae.” Jjs then gave them the Team Algae flag.

“Awesome, that’s all I can say,” said Santa Dog.

”And we’ll try and get 4EverGreen here once he arrives. Moving on, it’s time for Team #2: spongebobs1fan, Queen Malie, Dragiiin, CF, and PokeSponge123, you’re in Team Coral.” Jjs announced, “And hopefully Steel Sponge once he arrives.” He added. 70sguy then gave them the Team Coral flag.

”So wait, I have to be in the team with Steel?” Dragiiin said sounding shocked.

“Well, sorry anyways. Last but not least, Team #3, and it consists of…clapmaster, ExKizuna, Tvguy347, The Cartoon, and Bob_Ball, you’re Team Clappy."

“I’m flattered,” said Clapmaster.

“Anyways, I have called in your team captains. Here’s Team #1’s captain: Patrick Star,” jjs announced again, Patrick then came inside the submarine.

“Hey guys, it’s going to be incredible working with you guys!” Patrick exclaimed.

“I also hope it will be incredible competing here,” said SpongeSebastian.

"For Team #2, here’s everybody’s favorite undersea talking sponge!” 70sguys announced. Spongebob then came inside the submarine.

“Hello there, Team Coral,” he greeted. “This is going to so much fun!”

“It’s going to be fun alright, and it’s me trying to force you out of my game show,” Dragiiin said sarcastically.

“Lastly, for Team #3: It’s the master of clapping himself,” said jjs, referring to clapmaster. “And co-captain Squidward Tentacles. The Spongebob characters won't be able to get eliminated, and are just mostly crew members, but can still vote in ceremonies up until the merge.”

"Shit," Dragiiin said.

“Along with Squidward on our team, living the dream,” said clapmaster.

“I’m going to make sure our team wins!” Squidward said with encouragement.

“And besides, I wonder where Steel and 4EverGreen are anyways,” 70sguy wondered.

It then showed Steel and 4EverGreen on their boats, stuck in traffic.

”God damn traffic,” Steel thought.

The scene goes back to the jjs, 70sguy, and the contestants inside the submarine.

“For elimination, it’s simple, for anyone who doesn’t receive a shish kabob-“ jjs was then interrupted by Dragiiin.

“Hey, I didn’t ask for dumb old kabobs. I dine on human flesh,” said Dragiiin.

"Okay then, whoever doesn’t receive a shish kabob, OR human flesh on a stick, you take the Escape Pod, sending you guys back home,” jjs explained.

“Let’s not forget our confessional booth!” One of the submarine’s cabins is the confessional booth.

*Confessional Cam*

SpongeSebastian: Isn't this awesome or what?

Ex: So far, this sucks.

Wumbology: Things are going average...

*End*

“Jjs, where’s our first challenge?” Queen Malie asked.

“We are getting there and it starts at the Industrial Park, dangerous isn’t it?” Jjs said.

Meanwhile, the 15 contestants were hanging out on the submarine. Goosey was watching his favorite show on TV.

“Phineas and Ferb, nobody watches that show,” said Ex referring to the show Goosebumpsfan was watching.

“Come on, this show is tight!” Goosebumpsfan replied.

“Watch this instead!” Ex then grabbed the remote and turned on Degrassi.

“Degrassi, seriously? Also, that was a new episode I was watching!” Goosebumps said.

“I’d rather rot in hell than watch Phineas and Ferb, and you better not diss Degrassi,” Ex commanded.

"Exactly, but in this case, the Butthole Surfers are performing on MTV, watch it!” Santa Dog said and changed the channel to MTV.

“Hey, I was watching MY show!” Ex exclaimed.

“I can’t miss the Butthole Surfers either!” Santa Dog barked.

“Come on, everyone knows you have to watch Bikini Top!” Squidward said and changed the channel.

”But I want the Guitar Lord!” Patrick cried and quickly altered the channel.

“I want Phineas and Ferb!” Goosebumpsfan cried.

“Degrassi!” Ex yelled.

“MTV please!” Santa Dog exclaimed.

“Bikini Top,” said Squidward.

“Guitar Lord,” said Patrick.

“Shut up!” Ex and Santa Dog yelled.

He, Santa and the rest heard a loud horn coming from jjs.

“Did you REALLY want our attention?” Bob_Ball asked.

“Yes, and that means we arrived in our first challenge. Grab your helmets!” Jjs announced.

He, 70s, and the rest arrived at the Industrial Park.

“Now, before we get on with this, there are two different types of challenges. One, which is right now, is regular underwater survival challenges, the second is the social networking challenges,” jjs informed. “Now go out there and show some team spirit!”

-----------------------------------------

2. Gone Industrial (Part 2)

“Now, here’s our first challenge,” jjs explained. “It’s just a simple race through the Industrial Park, to get your hands on the survival case in that hill over there, but it will take hours for you all to reach it, unless you want to quit. There are three grappling hooks for each teammate to run back here, in this spot.”

“We can do that,” The Cartoon said.

”Be careful, it can get real hot sometimes,” jjs replied.

“Pizza delivery for jjsthekid,” said a pizza delivery man who arrived during the set.

“No fair, you get pizza?” PokeSponge123 said bummed.

“Come on, you guys are survivalists, not one box of pizza will let us down!” jjs said as he and that70sguy then left to enjoy their pizza for a while.

So far, this was the contestant counter: Algae: 5, Coral: 5, Clappy: 5.

The camera goes to Team Coral’s progress.

“Okay, as a team captain, we’re here to persuade the teammates to victory,” Spongebob read from a manual.

“I wonder how long we’re going to keep pedaling until we're at the peak,” PokeSponge123 thought.

“Bah, hard exercise, and risky challenges are all part of jjs’ plan,” said Dragiiin.

“Whatever, there are 500,000 doubloons ahead of us, and we’re not going to lose them!” Queen Malie said enthusiastically.

*Confessional Cam*

PokeSponge123: Queen Malie, the one person who's all ready for victory. Maybe, just maybe, I can get used to her and straighten her out.

*End*

“Say Malie, maybe we can start a mini alliance together,” PokeSponge123 suggested,” Nothing’s better than a split of the prize.”

“You’re right. So, what are you made of?” Queen Malie asked.

“Oh, I’m excellent for some kind of survivalist, you know,” PokeSponge lied anyways.

*Confessional Cam*

Dragiiin: Heck, I got more nerve than he does.

*End*

The camera then switches to Team Algae’s progress.

“Oh god, jjs was right about the temperature in here,” said Santa Dog.

”No matter, I would do what Phineas and Ferb would do,” said Goosebumpsfan. “I’m going to make S’Winter!”

“What’s a S’Winter?” Wumbology asked.

“Summer and winter combination, it’s really cool,” Goosebumpsfan answered.

“Us listening to your awful P & F remarks aren’t cool, it’s almost fall, and we don’t have the money or tools to make a season like that, now think like a survivalist!” Santa Dog exclaimed.

“Sorry Goosey, but they’re right,” said SG10.

“Come on, I know you’re with me, you’re the one with the Candace avatar a few months ago,” said Goosebumpsfan.

“Yes and no, save your constant suggestions for later, maybe we can locate at least anything that can benefit our challenge,” SG10 replied.

“Excellent thinking, science girl,” SpongeSebastian thought.

The camera then goes to Team Clappy’s progress.

“So, this means I’m competing like a real contestant?” Their co-captain, Squidward asked.

“We’ll start by considering you our co-captain,” Clapmaster answered.

“Let’s take notes: we’re…41 miles away from the survival case, and we’re almost out of the bottom core of Industrial Park,” said The Cartoon.

“So we have to run if we want a better chance to win this challenge?” Tvguy wondered.

“Let’s go with that,” said Bob_Ball. “Ugh, I’m starving.”

“Only if we had the delightful taste of jjs’ pizza, it would be so wonderful,” thought Tvguy.

“My delightful pizza senses are not going to stop me from winning, let’s keep moving b!tches,” said Bob_Ball.

“Okay, but sooner or later, your urge to take the hook back to our base is going to happen,” said Ex.

The camera is now backing to Team Algae.

“Looks like Team Algae is are at least 35 miles away from the case, there may be a clear quitter by now,” jjs said, looking through binoculars.

“I’ve found something!” SpongeSebastian said, and found a wrench.

“A wrench, a tool we can use that can get us to the hill quicker!” Goosebumpsfan declared.

”And does it involve doing something-" Santa Dog said.

”Yes, yes it does,” Goosebumpsfan interrupted, specifically meaning he’s doing the challenge his way.

“Well, I’m out of here,” Santa Dog then takes the grappling hook back to jjs and 70sguy’s base.

Algae: 4, Coral: 5, Clappy: 5

“Looks like we have our first victim on our spot,” jjs said referring to Santa Dog.

“Yep, just give me some pizza,” Santa Dog replied. He then grabbed a box of his favorite toppings.

“Hmm, maybe we can make the challenge more interesting for a change,” jjs thought and grabbed a pile of garlic sauce and a pizza slice, picking up a pizza related scent.

The camera is back at Team Coral’s progress; they were 34 miles away from the case by far.

“Ugh, I think I’m going to quit right now. I cannot stand how the challenge goes with all the industrial heat and stuff,” said Dragiiin, and takes the hook back to the place Santa Dog was at.

Algae: 4, Coral: 4, Clappy: 5

The camera is spot on Team Clappy again.

“Wait; is that a current of garlic sauce?” The Cartoon said as he saw the scent through the previous miles the teams took.

“Don’t get intimidated Ball of Bob, this is just a devious attempt,” Bob_Ball said to himself.

“Whatever, I just want some pizza,” Tvguy then took the hook and was back at the base.

Algae: 4, Coral: 4, Clappy: 4

*Confessional Cam*

Ex: So Tvguy threw it for boxes of pizzas. So far, I'm not deeply concerned.

*End*

The spotlight is back on Team Algae.

“31 miles away from the case, we’re getting close,” said SpongeSebastian.

“So science girl, what are we going to do with the wrench, because I know what I’m doing today,” Goosebumpsfan asked.

“Keep your P & F comments to yourself again. This is for gentle submarine repair,” said SG10.

“So this means we have nothing to advantage our survival?” SpongeSebastian asked.

“Unless we have the ability to create some rockets that can make us blast to the finish line!” Goosebumpsfan thought.

“Oh my freaking god Goosey, we don’t have anything but a wrench to make rockets, your survivalist thoughts are too light,” said Wumbology.

“Come on, don’t spat, we need the case!” Patrick said as he was seen with a bag of peanuts.

“Where did you get the peanuts?” SpongeSebastian asked.

“Oh yeah, jjs told us we can have one convenient item for one challenge,” said Patrick.

“Hey, there’s a sign,” Wumbology approached it and read, “Watch out for falling rocks.”

A ton of rocks came falling by; the contestants dodged them, except for Wumbology.

“I have to sit this one out, my scuba gear is almost entirely damaged,” Wumbology then took the hook back to where the rest of the quitters are.

Algae: 3, Coral: 4, Clappy: 4

Meanwhile, at Team Coral…

PokeSponge started to cough.

“Okay, I think there’s a plant around here I’m allergic to,” he said.

“Well, we’re going to be fine unless you touch-“ Spongebobs1fan was interrupted when he also saw Queen Malie with PokeSponge’s same rash. “Someone,” he finished.

“How is that possible?” Queen Malie thought, she then spotted a loose patch on her arm.

“You two take the rope, before it gets out of hand,” CF suggested.

PokeSponge and Queen Malie were priorilly inside the submarine, and used an antidote.

Algae: 3, Coral: 2, Clappy: 4

“So far, so good, Clappy’s team is in the lead,” jjs announced.

Meanwhile in Team Clappy…

“Watch out for falling rocks, huh?” Ex said as he read the sign.

“So far, we’re 27 miles away from the case, we’re going to win!” Bob_Ball said.

Just then, chunks of rocks hurdled in Team Clappy’s path, and unfortunately caused a small crack in The Cartoon’s helmet. He then took the grappling hook back to the submarine base.

“This still isn’t good,” said clapmaster.

Algae: 3, Coral: 2, Clappy: 3

The scene switches to Team Algae.

“Okay, we’re now 24 miles near, and we still have a chance of winning,” SG10 said comparing notes.

“Luckily, I’m itching up another plan to get that case! Phineas and Ferb style,” said Goosebumpsfan.

“Speaking of itching, PokeSponge and Malie really pulled off the loss,” SpongeSebastian added and almost laughed. “Anyways Goosey, you can’t always do the Phineas and Ferb way to draw our conclusion of getting that survival case!”

“So you’re saying I can’t build-?” Goosebumpsfan was interrupted and saw his hand in the grappling hook, and was taken back to the base.

“Sick of his plans?” SG10 thought.

“Yes, yes I am,” SpongeSebastian replied.

Algae: 2, Coral: 2, Clappy: 3

“Luckily PokeSponge didn’t get his hands on me, I know a ton about basic survival,” said Spongebob. “Unfortunately, it’s just me, Sbs1fan, and CF.”

“At least we’re easing up,” said CF.

“We’re just 21 miles away.”

*Confessional Cam*

Spongebobs1fan: I know CF, I know her as a brilliant stand-up person, and we might have a chance.

*End*

The scene is now at Team Clappy again.

“19 more miles, and the survival case is ours!” Ex said, panting. He then saw Squidward snoozing. Squidward goes back to the base as usual.

”You snooze, you lose, co-captain,” Bob_Ball said, referring to Squidward.

Once again, the contestant counter was a tie, and the camera is back at Team Algae.

“16 more miles, we’re going to make it!” SpongeSebastian said. He then saw part of the path broken, like a bridge. “Maybe we won’t.”

SpongeSebastian managed to jump, but SG10 and Patrick didn't make it, and they began to fall.

“I guess this is the end…” Patrick thought, falling.

But just then, they landed on the grappling hook wire, preventing them from taking a huge splat luckily.

*Confessional Cam*

SG10: Oh no, we're back at jjs and 70sguy's submarine. Oh man, it's just SpongeSebastian from this point.

*End*

Algae: 1, Coral: 2, Clappy: 2

The scene is back at the Clappy cam.

“14…13, we’re close while the other teams still don’t stand a chance!” Ex thought to himself, and then saw a cliff. “This challenge is tense now.”

“I think I remembered this in a movie once: only one can’t make it,” said Bob_Ball, his stomach wombled again. “I’m still worthy of continuing this challenge…”

Clappy, Ex, and Bob_Ball grabbed hands and jumped. Clappy tripped and took the grappling hook unfortunately.

“Great, now we lost our captain,” said Ex.

The results stayed the same while the camera is switched to Team Coral.

“Great 10 miles away, this is perfect,” Spongebob thought. Then he saw the rope of the grappling hook formed into a tightrope, making part of the path almost impassable.

“Oh no, I’m nervous now,” Sbs1fan thought.

The three were now on the rope. Sbs1fan was ready to fall, and saw the grappling hook. He was back at the submarine limits while CF and Spongebob are left on the tightrope.

Algae: 1, Coral: 1, Clappy: 2

Ex and Bob_Ball see SpongeSebastian walking to the case alone, “One Algae member left, so little time,” said Ex.

“6 more miles and this will soon be over!” Bob_Ball said.

The scene is back at Team Coral.

“Okay, we’re out of that tightrope, and we’re just 6 more miles to go,” said Spongebob.

”So wait. Team Clappy and Team Algae are a mile ahead of us?” CF asked herself.

“Pretty much, let’s ease up a little by running for it!” Spongebob replied, while the camera is at Team Clappy again.

“4 more miles,” said Bob_Ball panting.

“So…tired…” said Ex.

“You’re tired too, huh?” Bob_Ball wondered.

“Sure, and it’s sadly all up to you, and remember, try not to get intimidated, still,” Ex said and then took the grappling hook back to the base.

With the teams tied again, Team Coral’s spotlight is back.

“3 more miles!” Spongebob said while running. CF then sprained her leg.

“Darn, I have a sprain, it’s up to you Spongebob,” CF then grabbed the hook back at the submarine base.

Algae: 1, Coral: 1C, Clappy: 1

“Alright, the teams are tied by one remaining contestant each, with one captain for Team Coral. Who will win, Team Algae, Team Coral, or Team Clappy? Stay tuned!” jjs announced.

The scene goes to the remaining three. They were 20 yards away from the case. Just then, each of the paths started to crumble, until they were about to fall. SpongeSebastian quickly got to the grappling hook, with Bob_Ball and Team Coral’s captain Spongebob remaining. They both ran to the peak of the survival case. They both ran for it until Bob_Ball quickly snatched the case.

“And it looks like Team Clappy wins the first challenge!” Jjs announced. The other teammates cheered for Bob_Balls victory.

“So, Bob_Ball, how do you feel right now?” Jjs asked.

“Fine, can I have some pizza now?” Bob_Ball replied.

“He’s fine. Anyways, for Clappy’s victory…” Jjs said, and the winning team then went inside the submarine. Jjs opened a door, revealing a “Winner’s Lounge".

“Holy crap, I never seen anything like it,” said The Cartoon.

“It’s all yours until the next challenge,” said jjs. “It looks it’s time for the elimination ceremony with Team Algae and Team Coral."

The scene then shows Team Clappy having fun in the lounge.

"Now for our two losing teams, this is the voting room. There are pictures of all the contestants on this machine here. Just press the image of the contestant you want off, but be warned, it's pretty easy to vote for the wrong person with an accidental touch, so be 100% sure on who you want off," Jjs explained. The players from Team Coral and Team Algae then voted.

*Kabob Ceremony*

“You know the drill, I have 10 kabobs, and 1 human flesh on a stick for Dragiiin, whoever doesn’t get one will take the Escape Pod, back home,” jjs explained. “For honors as team captains, Spongebob and Patrick get theirs.” Jjs then throws them their two kabobs, apart from the plate. “For the contestants: Dragiiin, CF, SpongeSebastian, SG, Sbs1fan, Wumbology, Santa Dog, and Queen Malie,” Jjs said as he passed them their kabobs and Drag his human flesh stick.

Two contestants without a kabob were Goosebumpsfan and PokeSponge.

“PokeSponge, you just got plain bad luck while Goosey’s obsession of Phineas and Ferb sort of kept his team from winning. PokeSponge, you’re safe!” Jjs said and gives him the kabob. “Goosebumpsfan, it’s time for you to head home in that Escape Pod.”

Goosebumpsfan then appeared in the Escape Pod, ready to send him back to whatever place he was in before the game.

“You guys will be hearing from my girlfriend!” Goosey exclaimed.

“And it happens to be Stacey. It’s time to go back,” said 70sguy. The pod then finally launched.

“So, next up will be our first social networking challenge. Will the other teams gain victory; will Steel and 4EverGreen finally arrive? Stay tuned for another exciting episode of Underwater Survivor: SBC Style!” Jjs finished and the camera turned off.

[4EverGreen]

I'm sorry that it took so long for another re-run to get posted here, but at long last, here is a re-run of another episode, of "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" Enjoy! /

In an unusual twist, Marlene is standing on a pier overlooking the ocean, and she says: “Last time on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, the two teams and the remaining contestants, found themselves pitted head to head in an icy competition, in an all-out snowball fight in an unusually exciting game of Capture the Flag! Due to Blonda suddenly becoming indisposed for reasons that I don't feel comfortable repeating here, the prize for the team, was that a coach of THEIR choice, should they win, would become the NEW coach for the remainder of this season! Although I got picked by the Killer Prawns, I used MY knowledge of Rico's weakness to hot peppers, to give Bubble Bass and the other Killer Prawns the edge they needed, to FINALLY achieve a victory, and secure MY place as the new coach, for the remainder of this season! Unfortunately, what I could NOT anticipate, was that the other Power Pandas, with the exception of Skipper and Kowalski, would turn on Rico! They saw Rico's mental instability, and general lack of trustworthiness, as liabilities, and booted him from the game. While I do regret Rico's elimination, there will STILL be plenty of jungle thrills, sailing spills, and maybe some nautical chills, on a special, sea-faring, jungle exploring, and very exciting spectacle episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! Nailed it!” / Instead of the usual show open, a highly stylized movie-type opening shows a bunch of the contestants running and slashing their way through an unfamiliar jungle, avoiding all the dangerous local wild-life located within, all to the tune of a hit Creedence Clearwater Revival song! /

John Fogerty sings: “Whoa, thought it was a nightmare! Lo, it's all so true. They told me, 'Don't go walking slow, 'cause Devil's on the loose.' Better run through the jungle. Better run through the jungle. Better run through the jungle. Woah, don't look back to see. Thought I heard a rumbling, calling to my name. Two hundred million guns are loaded; Satan cries, 'Take aim!' Better run through the jungle. Better run through the jungle. Better run through the jungle. Woah, don't look back to see. Over on the mountain, Thunder magic spoke; 'Let the people know my wisdom, fill the land with smoke.' Better run through the jungle. Better run through the jungle. Better run through the jungle. Woah, Don't look back to see.” And the hit song fades out into the opening show title. / “Surfing And/Or Safari!” /

The episode proper opens up, as the sun is rising on a bright, sunny day. In the fancy hotel, both Bubble Bass and Johnny Krill are relaxing face down on a massage bench, while heavy gorillas, Bada, and Bing, are taking out the various kinks and problems in their backs, by WALKING on the backs of Bubble Bass and Johnny Krill with all their might! Johnny Krill says: “You know, when Tigress said that this massage treatment would take away all the PAIN that I've ever endured during my history as an extreme sports daredevil, I thought she was CRAZY, but these certified gorilla masseuses are REALLY doing the TRICK!” Bubble Bass says: “This is how you KNOW Tigress is in a good mood! When she WANTS the two of us to enjoy a LUXURIOUS morning of pampering and quiet SERENITY!” Johnny Krill says: “Yeah. Now the TRICK, is, being able to KEEP Tigress in a GOOD mood!” Bubble Bass says: “It's not going to be THAT easy! Don't forget, Tigress has a hair TRIGGER temper, that could FIRE at any MOMENT, due to being on SUCH a short fuse, so for the LOVE of Neptune, PLEASE don't do and/or SAY anything stupid that could get YOU, or WORSE, ME, in trouble!” Johnny Krill says: “Ignoring that OBVIOUS jab at my intellectual skills, why don't we just take CARE of the problem now? Just ELIMINATE Tigress and ELIMINATE the guess work on how to keep her happy!” Bubble Bass suddenly gets up, but Anti-Cosmo casts a gust of wind to BLOW his towel off! Bubble Bass rolls his eyes and says: “Oh, REALLY mature, Anti-Cosmo, you blew my towel off. Don't you EVER get tired of being so PREDICTABLY irritating?!” Anti-Cosmo says: “It's only irritating to you, not to me. Besides, I'll STOP doing such thing when it STOPS being funny.” (Confessional) Anti-Cosmo says: “As in, NEVER!!!!”

(End Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “And Johnny Krill, are you out of your barnacle-filled mind?! You KNOW Tigress is our STRONGEST player, and our BEST chance of MAKING it to the Final Three! Without Tigress, our entire PLAN falls apart! And where would THAT leave us?!” And Bubble Bass suddenly hears both Bada, and Bing, wolf-whistle at Bubble Bass' nudity, and Bubble Bass says: “Why don't you take a picture?! It will last longer! Oh, wait; don't bother! We're being filmed!” And Bubble Bass grabs his towel and wraps it back around him! Johnny says: “Look, all I'm SAYING is, that we KNOW that we're going to have to cut Tigress out sooner or later. She may be our best bet for getting to the Final Three, but she would ALSO be able to absolutely DESTROY anybody who GETS to the Final Three with her! It's a double-edged sword! She's both an asset, and A liability! See where I'm coming from?” Bubble Bass says: “All I know is, Bulma got eliminated RIGHT after she got rid of Zarbon, the STRONGEST member of her alliance! I don't want to see you or ANYBODY on our team making the same mistake! As far as I'm concerned, as long as Tigress doesn't do ANYTHING to endanger us, or ANY of our fellow team-members, she can stay! If, and only IF, she becomes a genuine problem, will we even CONSIDER eliminating her, and ONLY as a LAST resort! The LAST thing WE want to do, is anger anybody THAT strong!” And Bubble Bass points to Bada and Bing as prime examples of his statement! Johnny sighs, and says: “Okay, then. Just let it be known, for the record, I was the FIRST one to suggest that!” Bubble Bass says: “Don't let it be written as your epitaph!”

(Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “Do I personally think that Tigress could be a liability to my chances of winning this season? Possibly. However, I absolutely REFUSE to say something STUPID that could potentially HURT my chances of winning! The smart thing for me to do, is to keep my head low, and let Tigress attract ALL of the attention to herself! I mean, it IS what she wants! And if all the attention gets focused on HER, it actually gives ME a better chance of making it to the Final Three! Tigress may have the MUSCLES to make it to the final three, but it also paints a bigger target on her back, and that will probably LEAD to her OWN undoing!” / Johnny Krill says: “Okay, MAYBE I was being a little blunt! But Bubble Bass HAS to admit that I have a point. Neither of us can match up against the raw strength that resides inside of Tigress, so we've got to look out for each other, as brothers in arms! I mean, Bubble Bass is obviously trying to do the same for me, as far as having an alliance with me goes! Whether that feeling extends beyond the competition, I can't say for sure at the moment. But I'll cross that bridge only IF and/or when I might end up coming to it! Foresight is EVERYTHING in a competition of this nature!” (End Confessional) The Power Pandas are sleeping in the cabins, and just starting to wake up. Po rounds up the Power Pandas who AREN'T Skipper and Kowalski, and he says: “Well, our worst fears have been confirmed. Our penguin members were only looking out for themselves, and were willing to do ANYTHING, to try to take control of the game!” Theodore says: “Obviously, we KNOW that now! But we're in the clear now, RIGHT?! I mean; Rico is GONE now, and Kowalski is on probation! So that leaves only Private! And I don't think Private will do anything to rock the boat, given what has happened!”

Jenny says: “It's hard to say. After all, while Kowalski may not be able to COMPETE in this upcoming challenge, he can STILL give his advice and knowledge to Private, and that COULD give him the edge over the rest of us! We are going to have to be on GUARD, and try to stay united! If we let those penguins convince that one of US needs to be eliminated should we lose, they'll find themselves on the verge of control again! And if WE want to have a chance of winning, we CAN'T allow that!” Danny says: “I quite agree! If there are ANY legal tricks we can use in this upcoming challenge to keep us safe, I suggest we use them! That way, we'll look good IF we lose, and COOL if we win! And under NO circumstances, do we repeat ANY of this to Private and Kowalski! THAT, means YOU, Theodore!” Theodore nervously asks: “Why do you MEAN, ME?!” Jenny says: “Well, statistically speaking, you ARE the most likely of us to get nervous enough, to try to save your OWN skin!” And Theodore gulps nervously!

(Confessional) Theodore says: “The worst part about Jenny's statement, is that as a robot; she's practically RIGHT about it! Other than singing, I really don't HAVE any special skills that could help me out in a competition of this nature! I only signed up for this competition in order to make Alvin happy! I wasn't expecting to get picked! Thankfully, I have HEARD that Brittany is back as an intern! Maybe SHE can give me the advice that I need, to prevail in this challenge!” / Jenny says: “As a robot, I was not PROGRAMMED to feel such emotions as fear and nervousness! However, I'm not necessarily sure whether this is a good thing OR a bad thing at the moment! After all, from what I've witnessed, any other contestant, who is able to become afraid and nervous, can ALSO get a boost of adrenaline and bravery, and accomplish feats that they wouldn't be able to accomplish normally! While I can do a lot, it takes a lot of effort on MY end, to do MORE than I've been programmed to do! And while I CAN calculate for a lot, the HUMAN factor, of being variable and unpredictable, STILL leaves a lot of guess-work on my end! But all things considered, I just hope Theodore can prove himself to us, and to himself! After all, his safety as a member of our team, depends on it!” / Po says: “Believe me, I don't WANT to have to be AGAINST the penguins, but they DID start this whole mess! If they could have just kept RICO in line, we wouldn't have HAD to eliminate him! BUT, they didn't, so we HAD to do what we did! We're probably doing Private and Kowalski a FAVOR in the long run! It was nothing personal!” / Danny says: “So far, everything has been going relatively SMOOTH in the challenge department! Nothing TOO out of the ordinary! And yet, unless my ghost senses are acting up, I have a supernatural feeling that something STRANGE is about to happen!”

And then, as if on command, a strange voice comes out of Danny, and he says: “Crikey!” And an Australian Fedora blows in from out of nowhere, onto Danny's head, and Danny is SUDDENLY channeling Steve Irwen! In an Australian accent, Danny says: “Smells like some strange magic blowing in from a didgeridoo from the outback! I best keep my wits about me, if I want to keep my fellow team-mates safe!” (End Confessional) Private and Kowalski are sharing the same cabin room, mainly because they wanted to be SURE, that nobody else would be ABLE to find ANY of their plans and ideas for the remainder of the challenge. Private says: “Kowalski? I just wanted to thank you again for stepping up and telling the truth about that whole Rico ordeal. I know it's not what either of us wanted, but there's no WAY either of us can win, if we have to resort to such underhanded tactics to get farther in the game!” Kowalski says: “I had to, Private! Such a moment of weakness is INEXCUSIBLE for a genius such as myself! I couldn't let YOU suffer because of a mistake that I made! Rico may be gone, but we will NOT let his elimination be in vain! We shall simply have to work harder AND tougher, to get past the rest of the challenges that come our way! We've got to look out for each other now, more than ever! Our safety and security depends on it!” Private says: “I quite agree!” Kowalski hands Private a clip-board, and Kowalski says: “Private, I want you to study this clip-board.” Private asks: “YOUR clip-board?! But, why?!” Kowalski says: “Simple. You KNOW I can't compete in this upcoming challenge. I'm on probation. Therefore, YOU will have to use the plans I'VE developed, to see you through this challenge, and win US immunity! I've carefully developed every possible challenge scenario for this season, and strategies for getting past them all! Now, these plans will only take you half-way to your goal! The rest, is all up to you!” Private says: “Do you really think I can do it by myself?” Kowalski says: “Don't just do it for yourself; do it for Rico!” Private does a flipper slap with Kowalski, and Private enthusiastically says: “For Rico!” (Confessional)

Private says: “I've certainly come a long way with my fellow penguins! Kowalski has put his complete trust in ME, to carry out HIS plan! That's a BIG responsibility for a penguin commando such as myself, so I certainly don't want to take this matter lightly! If there is ONE thing that penguins NEVER do, is that penguins, never say 'DIE'!!!!” / Kowalski says: “It's all in Private's flippers now! I gave him my analytical analysis, now it's up to him, to figure out how to use it best! If ANY penguin can get me out of THIS mess, it's ALL Private!” (End Confessional)

Suddenly, everyone starts to hear the sound of SOMEBODY playing a didgeridoo! Tigress says: “Ooh! Must be the sign to come start today's challenge! Aren't YOU excited, Fee and Katarra?!” Katarra, still floating eerily, says: “Well, 'Excited' is HARDLY the term I would use for the upcoming challenge we have to face!” Fee suspiciously says: “WHY?! What do you KNOW?!” Katarra says: “Well, it's not MY place to say, but you know how WELL my intuition has served ME during these past few challenges! And my intuition tells me that not only are we facing a safari challenge, but Johnny Krill is ALREADY entertaining ideas of trying to vote YOU off, Tigress!” Tigress says: “THAT B--!” Than Tigress remembers that FEE is in the room, and Tigress swallows a gulp, and says: “BIG jerk! I won't let him USURP me! He thinks he can JUST eliminate ME, he's WRONG! I wasn't voted STRONGEST female of the Valley of Peace for 14 YEARS running for nothing! He wants to mess with the tiger? He's going to get the claws, AND the fangs!” Fee says: “I hate to break your 'Roaring Rampage of Revenge'; but that idea is NOT going to fly! Remember the season THREE penalty vote rule? It IS still in effect, you know! That's NEVER going to go away!” And Fee twitches nervously, as if expecting Tigress to absolutely SCREAM and LOSE it, but instead, Tigress gets a VERY devious look on her face, and she says: “Who said anything about PHYSICAL revenge?! A TRUE master doesn't ALWAYS rely on her fists to solve her problems! There ARE alternative ways, to DEAL with a problem!” (Confessional) Fee says: “Is it just me, or does Tigress seem super CREEPY when she gets a sinister smile on her face?!” Katarra pops in, and she says: “Trust me, it's NOT just you!” Fee jumps back, and she says: “Thank you Ms. ESP; which stands for EXTRA Spooky Personality!” /

Tigress says: “If there's one thing I love MORE than using my fists to solve problems, it's BLOWING my opponents away with my superior BRAIN power! Johnny is going to find himself HUMILIATED if he TRIES to eliminate me! However, eliminating HIM now, would be a pretty BIG mistake, if I want to move FORWARD in this game, AND keep Bubble Bass on my good side! So, I think that I'll fire a WARNING shot across Johnny Krill's BIG prawn nose...thing, and eliminate someone inconsequential like Fee or Katarra, and let the OTHERS take the fall for their elimination!” (End Confessional) The contestants (minus Kowalski who is on probation), run out to the pier, expecting to see Sniz, only to be surprised when they find General Barracuda playing the didgeridoo, and Marlene, dressed in her brand new coach outfit, with a microphone in her hand! Theodore nervously asks: “Uh, does something seem off here?” Brittany appears in a fancy intern outfit, and she says: “You mean OTHER than seeing Danny sport an Australian fedora and an obviously FAKE Australian accent for no discernible reason? Not really!” General Barracuda chuckles an evil laugh, and he says: “Welcome, to the Safari, of general unpleasantness!!!! It is the safari challenge to end ALL safari challenges, or so Anti-Cosmo claims!” Marlene says: “If you LIKE that sort of thing!” Po asks: “Where are Sniz and Fondue?!” Anti-Cosmo suddenly appears, and he says: “I'm sorry to break it to you, but Sniz and Fondue are not here, they are in the deserted jungle island in the middle of this lake.” Jenny says: “We're in the middle of Lake MICHIGAN!!!! There IS no deserted jungle island in the middle of this lake!” Anti-Cosmo says: “I have a magic wand, you're argument is invalid. In any case, I have placed Sniz and Fondue in the middle of that jungle island with no clothes, shelter, or any modern conveniences, mainly because they were ANNOYING me, and I needed a good laugh!”

Tigress rolls her eyes and asks: “WHY would you do something so PEDANTICALLY stupid and MINDLESS as that?!” Anti-Cosmo says: “Simple! I'm an evil, sophisticated genius, and it AMUSED me! In other words, I was bored!” Fee scoffs, and says: “I SWEAR, you are the MOST generic, most cliché riddled villain EVER!” Anti-Cosmo says: “Aren't those the EASIEST to hate, though?” Bubble Bass says: “I hate to admit it, but JERK wad has a point!” Bubble Bass says: “In any case, your challenge this time might be straight-forward, but it WON'T be easy!” Johnny Krill says: “Wouldn't BE any fun it if WAS easy!” Anti-Cosmo says: “Speaking of, I'm going to need two victims—volunteers, to step forward.” Theodore says: “I'm afraid of PAIN!” Anti-Cosmo says: “I wasn't TALKING about YOU! Bubble Bass and Po, come ON down!” Bubble Bass says: “Oh, you MUST be bugging!” But Anti-Cosmo simply waves his wand, and magically lifts Po and Bubble Bass to float over to where Anti-Cosmo is floating, than Anti-Cosmo DROPS them onto the ground! Po says: “OW! We could have just WALKED to where you were!” Anti-Cosmo drolly says: “Yeah, but where would the fun in THAT, be?! You two are very lucky, you're going to be GUARDING Sniz and Fondue from the RESPECTIVE other team! You can't help the rest of your team RESCUE Sniz and Fondue, and they can't ASK for your help, either! So, if the OTHER team manages to get past you, AND rescue Sniz and Fondue first, that means your team will LOSE, which could put YOU at risk of elimination!” Private says: “Well, that seems awfully UNFAIR for the ones who have to GUARD Sniz and Fondue!” Marlene says: “Which is why BEFORE Sniz and Fondue got abducted, they had me introduce the ULTIMATE insurance policy to getting eliminated! Now a full-time item, at LEAST until the Final Six, I'd like to bring back, the legendary Pendant of Life!”

Danny, still channeling Steve Irwin, says: “Crikey! That's amazing!” Fee says: “I thought that was LOST after Angelica kicked it out of the plane last season!” Marlene says: “It was, but during one of Skipper's MANY penguin espionage excursions, he found it again! Hidden somewhere on the Island that Anti-Cosmo made appear, is the Legendary Pendant of Life! If you can find it, and present it at the Elimination Ceremony BEFORE the votes are read, you will be saved from elimination, and whoever has the most amount of votes BESIDES you, will be eliminated instead! Think of it as an extra-life in this game!” Brittany sarcastically says: “Wow, that's REALLY nice! You know what would have been nicer? If that thing had been around when I was actually COMPETING in this season! Like, BEFORE I got eliminated!” Marlene says: “I wasn't a coach HERE yet, so you STILL would have been out of luck!” Theodore says: “Brittany, if it makes you feel any better, I would've given the Pendant of Life to YOU if I had it in my possession.” Brittany just sighs, and says: “Thank you, Theodore, that means a LOT to me!” (Confessional) Marlene says: “As a coach, I have absolutely no power over who gets eliminated, not even my favorite penguin players! So, to make up for their recent loss, I introduced the idea of bringing back the Pendant of Life to Sniz and Fondue! Thankfully, they really went for it! So, if Private is as intelligent as I BELIEVE he is, he should find the Pendant of Life no problem! That way, at least ONE of the penguins has a decent chance of making it to the Final Five, even if their team should LOSE a challenge! It's the LEAST I could do FOR them!” /

Private says: “You know, ever since Skipper became a family man, it feels like it's messed up our penguin dynamic. I thought Marlene only cared about spending time with Skipper, but it looks like I was wrong. She LIKES us, she REALLY likes us! I've GOT to find that Pendant of Life! Kowalski's safety may depend on it!” / Tigress is intrigued and says: “A Pendant of Life, huh? Looks like my window of opportunity has just opened! I'll SNAG that Pendant for myself, so even IF everyone else TRIES to vote me off, they STILL won't be able to! I'll just vote off whoever I find MORE annoying in this challenge! That should give EVERYONE the message that they shouldn't mess with ME!” (End Confessional) Anti-Cosmo says: “In any case, Bubble Bass and Po, I shall now transport you to the island where you will guard Sniz and Fondue. But before I do, I just want to say that you don't really LOOK like jungle island guards, so I'll just have to take care of THAT!” Po asks: “Well, what kind of jungle island guards are we supposed to look--.” (POOF!) And both of them are transported, but NOT their clothes, and they wind up on the magically created jungle island, armed ONLY with their clubs and their wits, and Po, VERY confused, finishes asking: “Like?” Bubble Bass groans, and yells: “Anti-Cosmo, you piece of underwater, chum scum! If I manage to SURVIVE this episode, I am GOING to find a way to make YOUR life miserable!” Fondue suddenly yells: “Quit YOUR complaining! At least YOU actually HAVE something to protect yourself! Sniz and I weren't even given that!” Po says: “He HAS a point, Bubble Bass!”

Sniz walks out of a make-shift bamboo hut that happens to be on the island, and Sniz says: “Yeah, life might have given you some lemons. Well, more specifically, Anti-Cosmo has. But when life gives you lemons, you should make some lemonade!” Bubble Bass says: “So, what do YOU suggest I should do?” Sniz says: “Well, if you've ALWAYS wanted a full body tan, but didn't want to go to a full body tanning booth, here's a perfect opportunity to get a full body tan! Luckily, General Barracuda had the foresight to stockpile this island with lots of food, and sun-screen! You can NEVER have too much sun-screen!” Bubble Bass sighs, and says: “I'll take you up on that offer. Heaven knows, I'm PROBABLY going to NEED it!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “Plenty of food and sun-screen, but no CLOTHES?! General Barracuda DEFINITELY has some SKEWED priorities! At least I won't STARVE on this episode!” / Po says: “I have to AGREE with General Barracuda! If I could ONLY pack two things, it would be a LOT of food and sun-screen! I mean, there are so many OTHER worse things in this world than NOT having clothes!” (End Confessional) Back on the pier, Anti-Cosmo says: “Okay, Po and Bubble Bass are on guard duty, so now it's time for the REST of you to get prepared for this challenge! You will each grab a surfboard, and use it to get to the jungle island that I created out in the lake! Once your on the island, feel free to look out for the Pendant of Life if you want, but watch out for the dangerous wild-life that I placed on the island. If you think something is there that SHOULDN'T belong there; just remember, it IS my magic, and it IS what I felt like bringing to the island! Use any non-lethal method you want to incapacitate the guard you have to face, and be the first team to bring Sniz and Fondue back to safety. The team that brings them both back, will be safe. The losing team, will have to face ANOTHER Elimination Ceremony, and lose yet ANOTHER team-mate, no questions asked! Is everybody game?” Tigress seriously says: “I'm game for ANYTHING you can dish out, creep!”

Tigress picks up Bubble Bass' clothes, and says: “Once I find Bubble Bass, even though he can't help me, I will at LEAST have the decency, to give him HIS decency back! It's the LEAST I can do for him” Jenny sighs, and says: “I guess I got to do the same for Po.” And Jenny grabs Po's shorts, and puts them in a plastic bag. Marlene says: “Very well then, it's time to get this show on the road! And to demo the surfing segment of this challenge, we've brought back former contestant, and last season's champion, Reggie Rocket!” Reggie surfs in on an epic wave, and comes to a graceful landing on the beach. Marlene asks: “So, Reggie, how are you doing?”

Reggie says: “Look, I REALLY didn't come here to chat, I just came here to demo the surfing part of this challenge and get paid. I'm considering this practice for a global surfing competition that's going to be happening soon!” Marlene says: “Very well, then. I'll let you get right to it!” Reggie says: “Everybody watch!” Reggie eyes the magical waves of the lake, gauges their height, speed, and amount of wind sheer, than rockets off, and makes hair-pin turns around the buoys dotting the path to the island, and successfully makes it to the jungle island. Reggie shouts something, but she's so far away from the contestants, they can't HEAR what she's shouting! Johnny asks: “What did she say?!” General Barracuda says: “Anti-Cosmo, bring her back here! Don't MAKE me put the hurt on you!” Anti-Cosmo says: “I'm only doing this, because I'm pretty SURE you actually COULD hurt me if you WANTED to!” And Anti-Cosmo waves his wand, and brings Reggie back. Reggie said: “I said; 'That's all there is to it'!” Fee says: “Really?! I thought you said something else!” Reggie says: “I would've, but Nickelodeon doesn't want us to be SUED by Warner Bros. OR their associates!” Marlene says: “MAN, our lawyers ARE cautious!” General Barracuda says: “No, they are just REALLY cheap! Which is STILL pretty much the same thing in MY personal opinion!” Marlene says: “Anyways, on your marks, get set--!” (Blows her whistle!) Marlene shouts: “GO!!!!” And a hit song by The Beach Boys starts playing as all of the surfing contestants start surfing their way around the buoys! /

“Let's go surfin' now, everybody's learning how. Come on and safari with me! (Come on and safari with...) Early in the morning we'll be startin' out, some honeys will be coming along. We're loading up our Woody, with our boards inside, and headin' out, singing our song. Come on (surfin') baby wait and see; (surfin' safari). Yes I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Come along (surfin') baby, wait and see, (surfin' safari). Yes I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Let's go surfin' now, everybody's learning how. Come on and safari with me! (Come on and safari with...) At Huntington and Malibu, they're shooting the pier. At Rincon they're walking the nose. We're going on safari to the islands this year. So if you're coming, get ready to go. Come on (surfin') baby, wait and see, (surfin' safari). Yes, I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Come along (surfin') baby, wait and see, (surfin' safari). Yes I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Let's go surfin' now, everybody's learning how. Come on and safari with me! (Come on and safari with...) They're anglin' in Laguna in Cerro Azul. They're kicking out in Doheny, too. I tell you, surfing's mighty wild. It's getting bigger every day, from Hawaii to the shores of Peru. Come on (surfin') baby, wait and see, (surfin' safari). Yes I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Come along, (surfin') baby, wait and see, (surfin' safari). Yes I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Let's go surfin' now, everybody's learning how. Come on and safari with me! (Come on and safari with...) With me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari.” /

And the song ends as all the contestants finally make it to the jungle island that Anti-Cosmo created! Marlene says: “And just like that, the first part of the challenge is done! What kinds of dangers will our contestants have to face on the island BESIDES Bubble Bass and Po?! I don't know, but I'm sure glad that I personally DON'T have to face them! See for yourself when we come back, on this episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!” Reggie asks: “Can I get paid now?” / (Commercial Break) /

After the commercial ends, the show opens back up, on Bubble Bass hiding himself behind some bushes, applying a bunch of sun-screen on himself. Po just rolls his eyes, and asks: “You think you used ENOUGH sun-screen?!” Bubble Bass says: “Hey! I'll have you know that my potential LADY fans would be VERY devastated if something unfortunate were to happen to me!” Fondue says: “And by 'Lady fans', he means his mom and POSSIBLY Blonda!” Bubble Bass says: “We could have LIVED without that bit of useless context!” Sniz says: “Don't mind Fondue! He just tells it like it is, even WITHOUT Anti-Cosmo's help!” Po says: “What I would like to know is, what are WE supposed to do UNTIL the rest of our team gets here? We're not exactly just going to stand around and do nothing, you know!” Sniz says: “Nor would we expect you to.” Bubble Bass says: “There! I got everything! TOOK me long enough!” Fondue asks: “Why don't you go on a diet?” Bubble Bass retorts: “Why do you THINK I came here?! Certainly NOT because I intended to do it for my OWN personal enjoyment!” Po says: “You're taking this MUCH to personally! Right now, I'm in the same boat as YOU are, metaphorically speaking, but you don't see ME freaking out like some rabid Rottweiler, do you?!” Bubble Bass says: “Certainly not, but I don't see how YOU manage to keep your calm like this!” Po says: “Well, it certainly helps me that I've had a great deal of martial arts training, to balance my sense of Zen and inner peace. Now, I'm not saying that martial arts is GUARANTEED to work for everyone, I just know that it helped me.” Bubble Bass says: “Well, I don't think I have the type of body that would work RIGHT for martial arts!”

Po says: “Well, I'm not naturally built for martial arts either, I had to learn my own form of martial arts in order to do that.” Bubble Bass asks: “How did you do that?” Po says: “By focusing on my strengths, and learning how to move WITH the flow of nature, not against it!”

Bubble Bass says: “Well, it would certainly help ME, if I knew how to move with the flow of nature.” Po says: “Well, I can't say for certain how you SHOULD do that! It's different for everybody! All I know is that when you find the method that works right for you, than you'll know for sure!” Bubble Bass says: “Well, I know one thing it's NOT, it's not ME being the villain this season!” Po asks: “Now, who thinks YOU'RE the villain this season?” Bubble Bass says: “Obviously, Anti-Cosmo! Why else would he be SO intent on DELIBERATELY trying to humiliate me, and trying to make MY life MISERABLE?!” Po says: “His tactics ONLY work if you LET him get to you! Nobody has the power to decide WHAT you are! Only YOU get to decide that! Now, think! What do YOU really want to be?” Bubble Bass sighs, and says: “I've never really told anybody this, but, what I would really like, more than anything else in the world, is to be a hero.” Po says: “Well, if you want to be a hero, you need to ACT like one! Be selfless, do something NICE for others! Don't let what others say or think about you, get to you! Be the BIGGER man...I mean...you know what I mean!” Bubble Bass struggles, and he says: “N...n...n...i...ce; MAN! I'm STILL having trouble pronouncing that word!” Po says: “Nobody ever said the RIGHT path was going to be the EASIEST one!” Bubble Bass says: “Well, it would certainly save ME a lot of trouble in the long run! All I know is that my chances of winning this season, would automatically be REDUCED to zero if I even TRIED to actually ACT like a villain! But if I commit to doing this whole 'Hero' thing, and actually follow through on it, I could actually HAVE a decent shot!” Po says: “That's the spirit! So, how exactly do you plan to start proving yourself?” Bubble Bass thinks about it, and he says: “General Barracuda! He lost his tooth! I didn't think much about it at the time, but if someone were to give his tooth back TO him, he'd probably be really grateful to whoever gave it to him!”

Po says: “General Barracuda lost his tooth like FIVE days ago! We don't know WHAT it has been in contact with, or where it's been!” Bubble Bass says: “For General Barracuda, it's the PRINCIPLE of the matter! Besides, our contracts STRICTLY stipulate that ALL contestants HAVE to be kept disease free, throughout the entirety of their stay as a contestant on this show, and for all time after their time on this show! So in other words, even if we COULD get sick, which we aren't able to, they would HAVE to bring us up to 100% health on the off-chance that we COULD get sick!” Po says: “Wow! You're REALLY thorough on this whole contract thing, aren't you?!” Bubble Bass says: “Well, SOMEBODY has to be! Now, if I were General Barracuda's tooth, where would I have gone?”

But Bubble Bass barely walks 5 inches into Lake Michigan, before his fins touch upon a pearly white incisor! Bubble Bass picks it up, and examining it, he says: “NO WAY! If this ISN'T a sign that being good is the right move for me, I don't know WHAT is!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “I admit, I was a little skeptical about Po's suggestion to me at first, but if Karma is willing to give me a break like this, who am I to argue against it? General Barracuda's tooth, will not only get me in good graces with him, I think it will help General Barracuda, be more than willing to take care of a certain 'Anti-Cosmo', and get him to stop pestering me for good!” / Po says: “I've had streaks of good luck, but almost NEVER as any THAT good! If Bubble Bass can do that within just FIVE minutes of OFFICIALLY turning good, who knows what he might be able to accomplish, given the proper training?” (End Confessional) Bubble Bass grabs some string, and he fashions a necklace around the tooth, in order to keep it safe and secure, until he can get it back to General Barracuda! Po says: “So tell me, doesn't it feel GOOD to do something good for someone else?” Bubble Bass says: “Strangely enough, yes. Only...” Po asks: “Only what?” Bubble Bass says: “Well, something just occurred to me. If I'M not the villain this season, than WHO is?!” / The camera creepily cuts to TIGRESS, whose yellow-red eyes are peering through the strange tropical brush of the non-native flora of the uninhabited, Lake Michigan Island! Danny Fenton, still channeling Steve Irwin, says: “The mighty animal hunter tracks any potential prey with great care, and special skill! Knowing that any ONE wrong move, could possibly get him killed!”

Theodore nervously asks: “Could you talk about something MORE pleasant?!” Danny says: “It's not my job to mince words around anyone, least of all, people who deserve to know the truth!” Theodore says: “Fascinating! Maybe I ought to tell THAT to Alvin when all of this is over!” (Confessional) Theodore says: “It's become very apparent to me, just EXACTLY what my problem has been! I have NOT been assertive enough, or confidant enough to stand up for myself! Because if I HAD, I probably might not be IN this predicament that I am now! I've got to channel some of Simon's courage! I mean, Simon is so BRAVE to perform all the science that he does, and he's my brother! That same courage that Simon has, I got to have some of it, as well! People are going to learn that Theodore is NOT going to spend his ENTIRE life, sacred of everything that crosses his path! And when I start channeling my courage, I'm sure Brittany is BOUND to notice my efforts! She's certainly NOT going to notice someone who's always COWERING all the time! At least, not in a POSITIVE matter!” (End Confessional) Tigress growls, and she says: “Where is it? Where is it?! WHERE IS IT?!!!” Katarra eerily floats by, and she says: “Your inner aggression and anger is showing. I suggest you put such negative emotions away, before you attract any unwanted attention to yourself!”

Tigress angrily says: “Excuse me, but I'M Master Tigress! YOU'RE just the girlfriend of the Avatar, and an ANNOYING fellow contestant to boot! If I WANTED to ask a fellow contestant for advice, I'd ASK my own BOYFRIEND, Po! Even HE would be more helpful to ME, than you are!” Katarra asks: “And have you ever WONDERED why exactly that might be?” Tigress retorts: “No! And quite frankly, I'm not INTERESTED in hearing YOUR explanation for it!” Katarra says: “Too bad. You're going to hear it, anyways. Do you REALLY want to know the reason you SUCK?! Well, I'll tell you! You took your sacrifice LAST season, of ELIMINATING Taotie WAY too personally! You think that just because you sacrificed your OWN game last season, in order eliminate Taotie, when he wasn't even the most EVIL contestant on that season, automatically makes your self-sacrifice, totally POINTLESS! And because of THAT irrational train of thought, you have now deluded yourself into thinking that you can't trust anybody EXCEPT Po this season, which is why you are SO intent, on vilifying EVERYONE except yourself, just so YOU can feel better about intimidating everyone else, just so YOU can feel justified, about treating EVERYONE else like dirt, and feeling MORE like the self-proclaimed hero that you SAY you are, when you're NOT even ACTING like one! And before you say anything, just remember, that is your OWN Aura talking, and your Aura NEVER lies!”

Tigress groans, and says: “Fine! I have an AGGRESSION problem! Now are you satisfied?!” Katarra says: “No, just disappointed!” Tigress says: “You know, you're starting to SOUND like Master Shifu!” Katarra says: “Good! At least ONE of us, does!” Tigress gets angry, and says: “Listen! You think you can just SHOW up and tell ME what I should do with MY life?! You don't even personally know what I'VE been through!” Katarra says: “All I know for sure, is that if you go around treating EVERYONE like a villain, don't be surprised when they treat YOU like one, and respond in kind! Your own actions will PROVE to be your OWN undoing, Tigress!” Tigress asks: “Is that a THREAT?!” Katarra says: “No, merely a promise! Unless, of course, you give up this pointless action of trying to antagonize everyone! After all, this could STILL be your season to shine!” But Tigress gets REALLY mad and PUNCHES a hole STRAIGHT through a tree with a 72 inch diameter, completely THROUGH the tree, and knocks the bark that was within that hole, STRAIGHT into a 72 inch thick rock, through 69.5 inches OF that rock! Tigress says: “Well, THAT could have been your FACE!!!!” (Confessional) Tigress says: “That DOES it! Miss E.S.P., has GOT to go! I don't need some psychic, telling ME what I should or shouldn't do! I didn't get THIS far in life, by letting some snot-nosed little NOBODY, telling ME what moves I should or shouldn't be making! That Pendant of Life is MINE!” / Katarra says: “Tigress' aggression, is clearly drowning out her own inner common sense! She IS good. Whether she will remember it BEFORE the end of the season, even I can't say for certain.”

(End Confessional) Jenny says: “Look, personally, I'm into a good cat-fight, but not at the expense of the penalty vote rule! Let's just focus on this challenge and get through this weird jungle.” Fee asks: “Do you have any idea on which way we SHOULD be going?” Jenny checks her scanners, and she says: “I'm not getting any readings. Either the wi-fi settings are no good it, or Anti-Cosmo's magic is blocking me from getting a good reading, or a combination of both!” Danny says: “Well, when technology fails, always leave it to good old fashioned tracking to save the day!” Johnny Krill asks: “And what do YOU, know about tracking?” Danny says: “Plenty! For instance, moss always grows on the north side of a tree, so, if we find the moss, we'll know which direction to go in!” Private says: “I sure hope so! The sooner we can finish this challenge, the more comfortable I feel about my own safety after it's done!” Fee says: “Don't tell ME that the BRAVE penguin commando is frightened!” Private scoffs, and he replies: “Frightened! You are talking to a penguin who has LAUGHED in the face of DEATH; SNEERED at doom; and CHUCKLED at CATASTROPHE!” Private clears his throat, and he says: “I'm just feeling a LITTLE petrified and apprehensive about this whole thing, like any SANE contestant would be! I'm NOT crazy like Rico is, I won't make the same mistakes HE made!” (Confessional) Jenny says: “Well, that rules out trying to eliminate either Private or Kowalski the same way Rico got eliminated! The rest of us will have to come up with another plan! I sure hope we CAN come up with another plan! I mean, it would be kind of EMBARRASING if the $60 Million Dollar Woman, built entirely through technology, were to lose to a penguin, and the PRIVATE of the group at THAT! Well, if it's a challenge Private wants, it's a challenge he's going to get!” /

Private says: “Look. Personally, I have nothing AGAINST most of my fellow contestants, and I sure most of them are pleasant enough to be with OUTSIDE of these challenges! But since we are IN these challenges, I have to be on my guard, and not be caught OFF guard! See how that works? Like I said, it's nothing personal.” (End Confessional) Danny Fenton reaches a rock, and he smells the moss growing from it! Danny says: “I love the smell of moss in the morning! It smells like victory! Straight ahead to where Bubble Bass and Po are, and may the better team win!” Tigress says: “Which obviously is ME!” Johnny says: “TIGRESS!” Tigress says: “Freudian slip! Said 'Me', meant to say, 'Us'!” Then Tigress hears a familiar voice from TAOTIE, and he boasts: “STILL acting, 'Holier than THOU', are you Tigress?!” Tigress looks toward Taotie, and he's riding one of a bunch of Anti-Fairy enhanced Rhinoceros', who now have bazooka launchers, and jet-propelled feet!

Tigress says: “So, if it isn't my LEAST favorite side of pork in the world, Taotie! I was expecting to find you here, working for Anti-Cosmo! I recognized your foul stench the MOMENT we entered this jungle!” Taotie sarcastically says: “Still charming, to the last! You have NO idea how many experiments we had to go THROUGH to get thee Anti-Fairy rhinoceros' just RIGHT for you!” Tigress says: “I'm surprised you had the responsibility to oversee these experiments yourself!” Taotie says: “It's become clear to me that technology itself, is not enough of a tactic to use against you! Therefore, I have decided to incorporate the forces of nature to WORK with technology this time around! You will NEVER get through this blockade of Anti-Fairy rhinoceros' my FAIR Tigress!” Tigress says: “Who said anything about going THROUGH them?! I'm going...!” And Tigress leaps up HIGH into the treetops, and everyone looks up in bewilderment as Tigress says: “ABOVE them! Later, losers!” And Tigress leaps across the treetops, frantically LOOKING for the Pendant of Life! Fee says: “Come BACK here, you TRAITOR!” Jenny says: “Forget her! We don't NEED her! You WANT technology, Taotie?! I'll give YOU technology! 44 Dart Tranquilizing Attack!” And Jenny produces a cannon that shoots 44 tranquilizer darts, and hits ALL of the rhinoceros' instantly making them fall asleep! Taotie says: “Hey, no fair! This was supposed to be MY chance to shine this season, as the villain I was always MEANT to be!” Fee says: “Too bad, so sad! More money for us!”

(Confessional) Johnny Krill says: “I got to admire Fee's epic BURNS! It feels SO good to see someone ELSE get burned instead of ME, for a change!” / Jenny says: “When I fight, I don't believe in messing around! I try to take care of things as quickly, cleanly, and efficiently as I can! Maybe that's why I was named Robotic Monthly's #2 Robot of the top ten robots that you CAN trust! I would have been #1, except Mega Man beat me for the top spot, AGAIN! Although to be fair, he does genuinely deserve it!” (End Confessional) Jenny says: “So, are you going to come QUIETLY Taotie, or do we have to do this the HARD way?” Taotie says: “I won't be coming at ALL! You haven't seen the last of me, I WILL be BACK!” And Taotie throws down a smoke-bomb, and makes an escape throughout the distraction! Johnny says: “I'm getting TIRED of villains doing that!” Private says: “Join the club!” Danny says: “That was AMAZING, Jenny! You have absolutely got to come to Casper, sometime! There are loads of people who would LOVE you there!” Jenny says: “Thank you, I might just take you up on that offer! There's only one question on my mind.” Danny says: “Well, no worries here. You can ask me ANYTHING that's on your mind!” Jenny says: “Well, why are you acting like Steve Irwin, or Rodney Dangerfield, or Marlon Brando, or Bette Davis from time to time? Don't tell ME it's just for an acting class!” And Danny gulps nervously! (Confessional) Private sighs, and he says: “I was AFRAID of this! Sooner or later, women ALWAYS figure out the truth! ALWAYS!” / Danny, as Steve Irwin says: “Crikey! The jig is up! What am I going to do?!” Than Danny channels Bette Davis, and he says: “Well, speaking from personal experience AS a feminine presence, I really think that you SHOULD be honest with Jenny, REALLY, you should!” Danny channels Marlon Brando, and says: “After all, there's nothing worse than a BUM who can't be honest!” Danny than channels Rodney Dangerfield, and he says: “All right, I'll do it! But I probably won't like it!” (End Confessional)

Danny jerks back into being himself, and he says: “Okay, you deserve to know the truth, so HERE it is! Let's just hope I don't glitch THIS one up, pardon the phrasing! Going GHOST!!!!” And Danny transforms from his normal teenage self, into a white-haired, green-eyed, black suited, super-powered self! Jenny says: “No WAY! You're THE Danny Phantom?!” Danny says: “I'm actually surprised it took you THIS long to figure it out! Usually, I have to pay EXTRA for that!” Jenny says: “But, why the big secret?” Danny says: “It's totally NOT you, it's me! Normally, I can transform into this state just fine! But that's not why I was being secretive with you. Lately, my ability to go ghost has been acting up. And when it does, depending on my personality, I channel one of those four famous celebrities! I was just worried that if I told you, that you would think less of me, for not being able to control my powers.”

Jenny puts her arms around Danny, and she says: “Danny, I DON'T think any less of you. I'm sure there must be a LOGICAL explanation as to WHY you're channeling these celebrities, and you DON'T have to face this problem alone!” Danny says: “I don't?!” Jenny says: “Of course not! With my scientific technology, I may be able to identify and trace just what exactly IS happening to you! And if I can track it, we may be able to find a remedy for it!” Danny asks: “You'd do that, for me?!” Jenny says: “Of course! Us heroes have got to stick together, don't we?” Danny says: “Yeah, I guess you're right!” (Confessional) Danny says: “I was SILLY to try and solve this whole celebrity channeling mess by myself! I should have just been upfront and honest about this whole thing from the start, and save myself some trouble! I'm just glad that I came out into the open now, instead of later; it's definitely going to make going forward from here on out much easier for me, and probably for her!” / Jenny says: “In retrospect, I REALLY should have made the whole 'Fenton/Phantom' connection much sooner, but at least I heard it from Danny first, instead of someone else, and I can at least understand why he felt the way he did. It's not always easy to know who wants to help you, and who doesn't it. I just want Danny to know that no matter what, as far as friends go, he can count on me!” (End Confessional) Johnny Krill says: “Look, I'm all for interesting revelations, but if we don't hurry up, Tigress is going to get WAY ahead of us!”

Fee says: “Dumb wad has a point! After all, if I were Tigress, and I'm SO glad I'm not; Tigress is probably looking for the Pendant of Life right now! Even as we speak!” / The camera switches to Tigress, who is still jumping from tree to tree, frantically looking for the Pendant of Life! Tigress says: “Blast it! Where IS that STUPID Pendant of Life?! It's got to be SOMEWHERE within these stupid trees! They wouldn't want just ANYBODY to get them! Only the contestants who WANT to find them, CAN!!!!” Until Tigress jumps to the LAST tree she hasn't jumped on, and she says: “Don't tell me I'm already THERE! Bubble Bass and Po are right below me, and it's still going to take everyone else about a good hour to catch up to me, and no Pendant of Life to show for MY efforts! Would it be TOO much to ask, for a LITTLE sign of SYMPATHY?!!!” And Tigress pounds her fist into the tree, and RIGHT in the hole she has made, she feels SOMETHING metallic! She reaches in, and pulls out the FULL Pendant of Life! Tigress chuckles, and she says: “Bingo! Heh, heh, heh!” (Confessional) Tigress glares, and cocky, she shares: “I TOLD you I'd find it! And I NEVER go back on my word! Now, to set up Katarra, for the FALL!” (End Confessional) Tigress puts the Pendant of Life in one of her pockets, and she says: “I got what I came for, now to give Bubble Bass what HE deserves!” Tigress leaps down, and everyone else there, gazes in amazement! Sniz asks: “Tigress! We're surprised! We weren't expecting you for another hour!” Tigress says: “Don't be surprised! I'm made of different STUFF from those other contestants! Namely winning material! By the way, Bubble Bass, got something I think YOU want! Catch!”

And Bubble Bass catches the bag of clothes that Tigress was carrying, and he says: “Much obliged!” And while Bubble Bass puts his clothes on, Tigress asks: “Anything ELSE interesting that I need to know about?” Bubble Bass puts his clothes back on, and he says: “Tigress, I have to tell you that Johnny Krill was entertaining the idea of trying to vote you off tonight!” Tigress says: “So, Katarra WAS telling me the truth about that!” Bubble Bass says: “I'm afraid so! But I HAD to let you know the truth! I've decided that I'm going to be a HERO now! I'm not going to play an antagonistic game! So there's no need to worry about ANY of us trying to stab you in the back! I certainly won't!” Tigress asks: “Who said anything about WORRYING? Not ME! I plan to stick around for a while!” Bubble Bass says: “That's good to hear!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “If I'm going to commit to being a hero, than I OWED it to Tigress to tell her the TRUTH! It's a lot better for me if she hears it now, instead of later. I just hope that she isn't TOO harsh on Johnny! After all, I DID warn him!” / Tigress says: “Bubble Bass doesn't need to worry about MY safety! I've got an ACE in the hole!”

(End Confessional) Than suddenly, Jenny, and the rest of the contestants come into the clearing! Tigress says: “It's about TIME the other contestants got here!” Jenny says: “I brought something for you Po! Catch!” And she drops the bag of clothes that she has been carrying, and gives Po back his clothes! Po says: “Thank you, Jenny!” Fee says: “Tigress, you've already made it here! It looks like you ARE a team player AFTER all! So, why don't you do your usual tiger thing, beat up Po, and rescue Sniz and Fondue so we can win this thing?” But Tigress merely sighs, blows on her claws, rubs her fists on her shirt, and looks at her nails with a bored look, saying nothing. Johnny says: “Tigress, as your TEAM Leader, I am ORDERING you to cut OUT whatever CAT game you're trying to play, and win a CHALLENGE for us! You know, like the kind that you've been COMPLAINING about?!” Tigress seriously says: “Not until I get an APOLOGY from YOU, AND Katarra!” Katarra asks: “What do I have to do about ANYTHING?!” Tigress says: “EVERYTHING! You gave me a 'Reason You Suck' Speech, and VERBALLY tore me DOWN in front of the REST of my fellow contestants! Did you THINK I wouldn't take it personally?! Your time is OVER, Katarra, you are going DOWN!!!!” Katarra says: “Now THAT, is a THREAT!” Tigress says: “That's a FACT! I NEVER lie, I NEVER break MY promises, and I DON'T intend to start NOW!!!!” Katarra says: “Maybe you ARE socially deficient, but from where I come from, those are FIGHTING words!” Tigress says: “Well, if I'm something that CAN be stopped, than just TRY to STOP me!” Katarra says: “Gladly!”

(Confessional) Katarra says: “She's been ASKING to be TAUGHT a lesson for a LONG time! And NOW, she's going to get it!” / Tigress says: “I knew the girlfriend of the Avatar couldn't resist falling for THAT ploy! I'm playing her like a harp, and she's too ANGRY to even see it! I knew AANG'S attitude problems would rub off on her! Like boyfriend, like girlfriend! Except for me! I'm ALL business! And winning for ME, is just good business!” (End Confessional) Katarra says: “Prepare to get WET!!!!” And Katarra summons a water ball from Lake Michigan, and SPLASHES it in Tigress' face! Tigress says: “I'm not afraid of a little water! You're going to have to do a LOT better than THAT!!!!” Katarra says: “Gladly!” She manipulates the water, and produces two GIANT water fists, that grab TIGHTLY around Tigress, and she can't break THROUGH the water! Tigress says: “What GIVES?!” Katarra says: “If water molecules are dense enough and tight enough, than even YOU can't break through them, Tigress!” Tigress says: “Don't make PROMISES YOU CAN'T KEEP!!!!” And with an AMAZING force of WILL, she BREAKS through the fists, and SHARP water droplets rain EVERYWHERE! Fee says: “AHH!!!! Not the hair! Save the hair! Johnny! Shield me with your exoskeleton!” Fee ducks right behind Johnny just in time, and he says: “Hey! I'm not a water shield! Let go of me!” Fee says: “I would, but I think my super strength mousse is stuck to your shirt!” Tigress says: “Got any MORE water tricks you'd like to demonstrate?!” Katarra says: “Gladly! It's about to get COLD! ICE COLD!!!!” And she makes the water SUPER cold and FREEZES it, and she throws a bunch of ice stalagmites at Tigress, who manages to DODGE all of them as if they were coming at her SUPER slow, and manages to look SUPER SEXY while doing it! Po can't HELP but give a wolf-whistle! (Confessional)

Po says: “Yeah, I probably shouldn't be enjoying this battle, given that Tigress is on the other team; but come ON!!!! You have to admit, that IS pretty talented!” / Tigress says: “When you've learned how to dodge 500 angry bees in a square space of only three feet, you learn how to dodge about almost anything!” (End Confessional) Tigress jumps up into the tree, and Katarra has prepped another sharp ice stalagmite! Tigress says: “Don't TRY it, Katarra! I have the high ground!” Katarra says: “Your over-confidence is YOUR weakness! NEVER underestimate the abilities of a Water-Bender when ELIMINATION is on the line!” Katarra THROWS the ice stalagmite at the tree, but Tigress DODGES it, and instead of HITTING Tigress, the ice stalagmite swiftly BREAKS the tree in two, and causes the top portion of it to come barreling STRAIGHT towards Katarra! Katarra preemptively, weakly says: “Mother.” And the tree crashes RIGHT on top of Katarra!

(Confessional) Tigress chuckles: “Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! I TOLD you I'd WIN!!!!” / Katarra is heavily bandaged and, she says: “Hoist by my own petard. I did NOT see THAT coming!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “All right! That's enough! Both of you! Now, I know the challenge was to rescue us, but because the Killer Prawns decided to deliberately fight amongst THEMSELVES, they are automatically DISQUALIFIED, so the Power Pandas win this challenge, by default!” Theodore says: “Yes! I'm safe for another challenge!” Sniz says: “Everyone back to camp! Get freshened up, Fondue and I will get dressed! And Killer Prawns, we will see all of you TONIGHT at the Bonfire Ceremony! One of you WILL be eliminated; no questions asked.” / Back at the camp, Jenny and Danny are at the fancy hotel, and Jenny is scanning Danny Fenton. Danny says: “Well, have you found out anything?” Jenny says: “Well, as far as I can tell, it seems that the reason you're channeling these four spirits, is that they have some unfinished business to attend to in the living realm.” Danny asks: “Unfinished business? What does THAT mean?” Jenny says: “Well, the reason ANY spirit sticks around, is because they have business, that they never got to finish, while they still had their bodies. You can turn INTO a spirit form yourself, so YOU are a natural go-between, between the mortal realm, and the spirit realm! You must somehow help them finish their unfinished business, BEFORE they can pass on into their next life!” Danny sighs and says: “I'll do it! I'll do whatever it takes to help them, and to help myself at the same time!”

(Confessional) Danny says: “Unfinished business, that's what this all boils down to. Well, all I have to do is figure out WHAT these spirits need to do. It might not be easy, but nothing heroic ever is!” / Jenny says: “I'm just glad that I was able to help Danny out, not just as a hero, but as a friend. I think Danny and I can be really good friends; especially once this whole season is over!” / Private and Kowalski are in the Cafeteria Confessional together. Kowalski says: “I'm so glad our team has won the challenge! I be out of probation, and back in the game for the next challenge! I knew you had it in you, Private!” Private says: “It's not so much I WON the challenge, but I think Tigress deliberately THREW the challenge, just to get back at Katarra for DEMEANING her!” Kowalski says: “Wait a minute! Tigress DELIBERATELY THREW the CHALLENGE?!” Private says: “It certainly looked that way to me, sir!” Kowalski says: Well, at least you've accomplished ONE important thing today, Private!” Private asks: “What's that?” Kowalski says: “We now know who the REAL bad guy is, and it's NOT Bubble Bass!” (End Confessional) The Killer Prawns are back at the campfire, Sniz and Fondue are all dressed up, and Marlene is preparing the regular marshmallows! Marlene says: “I sure am glad the both of you are back! Of course, I just want to let you know that if anything REALLY unfortunate were to happen to you two, I'd be more than happy to step in as a host!” Sniz says: “Well, if it makes you FEEL any better, you're our ONLY pick for such an occasion!” Marlene air fist-bumps, and she says: “I KNEW it!” Sniz says: “Killer Prawns, the time has come to eliminate another contestant. Like always, you will be voting for the contestant you WANT to eliminate! Just remember, any of your fellow contestants, might be the one HOLDING a Pendant of Life! And if they reveal the Pendant of Life BEFORE the votes are read, any votes cast for them, will be rendered null and void. The contestant with the NEXT amount of votes, will be voted off instead! So keep that in mind, and vote!” (Confessional)

Katarra makes an X on Tigress' card, and Katarra says: “It's the PRINCIPLE of the matter!” / Johnny makes an X on Tigress' card, and he says: “See you NEVER, traitor!” / Fee makes an X on Tigress' card, and Fee says: “Having YOU here is hazardous to MY health, AND to my HAIR!” / Bubble Bass thinks about it, and puts an X on Katarra's card. Bubble Bass says: “I WON'T back out on Tigress! I will NEVER go back on my word unless I HAVE to, and ONLY for a GOOD reason!” / Tigress makes an X on Katarra's card, and Tigress says: “You made your BED, Katarra, now, SLEEP in it!” (End Confessional)

Sniz says: “Voting over! It's now time--!” Tigress says: “Hold it! The Pendant of Life, is MINE!!!!” And she SLAPS it on a rock, and Johnny says: “Oh, no!!!!” Sniz says: “The Pendant of Life, is GENUINE!!!! That means all votes cast for Tigress, will NOT count! Let me READ the votes!” Fee says: “READ the VOTES?!!!” Sniz says: “One vote cast for Tigress, cast by Katarra, doesn't count. One vote cast for Tigress, cast by Johnny, doesn't count. One vote cast for Tigress, cast by Fee, doesn't count. One vote cast for Katarra, by BUBBLE Bass, counts. And one vote cast for Katarra, by Tigress, counts. Tigress got more votes, but she IS protected by the Pendant of Life this time. Therefore, Katara, with two votes, you are eliminated tonight. Pack your things, and get ready to leave.” Tigress says: “Well, it's nice to know who my TRUE friend is on THIS team!” And the other Killer Prawns just gulp nervously! (Confessional) Tigress says: “I SAW what was in THEIR eyes! It was FEAR! Pure and unadulterated FEAR! THEY are now ALL afraid of me, and RIGHTFULLY so! Because THEY know that I will now HUNT them DOWN and DESTROY them ALL like the DOGS that they ARE!!!! No offense to ACTUAL dogs!” / Bubble Bass just stares, and says: “WOW! Here, I thought that my greatest ally would be the GREATEST hero on this season! But instead, she's the biggest threat! I'm only GLAD that I sided with her THIS time! Looks like I might have to bide my time until the Final Five. There's no way I'M going to risk Tigress getting a Pendant of Life AGAIN!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “Katarra, are you ready to take the Slingshot of Shame?” Katarra says: “I don't NEED to take the Slingshot of Shame! I'm Water-bending my way HOME!!!!” And before anyone can react, a giant wave of water comes to pick up Katarra, and air-lifts her out of sight, and beyond the horizon!

Sniz says: “Ooh, I HATE that! I forgot that she could do that! And I was SO looking forward to using the Slingshot of Shame, tonight!” Than Sniz gets an idea, and he says: “Oh, INTERN!!!!” / Brittany is fitted up with protection gear, and she says: “WHAT?! You're eliminating me, AGAIN?!!!” Sniz says: “This is what we're PAYING you for! Besides, you're more than welcome to SWIM back!” Brittany says: “But I-AY-YI!!!!” She screams as she's hurled into Lake Michigan! Sniz says: “Man, that feels better! Four contestants down, and ten contestants to go! Things are heating up between the two teams, and it's anybody's guess, as to who will be eliminated next time, on another episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!” /

Bubble Bass goes up to General Barracuda, and he says: “General Barracuda, I've got something that I think you've been looking for.” General Barracuda asks: “Oh, really?!” Bubble Bass says: “But before I give it to you, you must promise to do something for me!” General Barracuda says: “Anything! As long as it doesn't involve donating a kidney, or something like that!” Bubble Bass says: “I found your lost tooth!” And Bubble Bass takes out the tooth that General Barracuda has been looking for! General Barracuda says: “That's MY tooth! Give me that tooth!” Bubble Bass says: “First, you need to take CARE of Anti-Cosmo for me! Do anything that doesn't involve DESTROYING him, but he must learn to LEAVE me alone! Can you promise that?!” General Barracuda says: “I'll make SURE Anti-Cosmo doesn't bother YOU anymore, I can promise you that! And I think I might even start being nicer to you, which is a very rare gift, since that doesn't happen for just ANYBODY!” Bubble Bass says: “It's settled, then! One tooth, for one promise!” And Bubble Bass gives General Barracuda his tooth! General Barracuda says: “Much obliged! Anti-Cosmo won't know what HIT him!” General Barracuda starts to walk away, than he turns back, and looks at Bubble Bass, and he says: “You know, I've never NOTICED before, but when I look at you; for some reason, I'm reminded of...her.” And General Barracuda walks away again. (Confessional) Bubble Bass asks: “HER?! Who is, HER?!” (End Confessional) /

/ Episode Notes: Contestants remaining: Bubble Bass (Killer Prawn); Danny Fenton (Power Panda); Fee (Killer Prawn); Jenny Wakeman (Power Panda); Johnny Krill (Killer Prawn); Kowalski (Power Panda); Po (Power Panda); Private (Power Panda); Theodore Seville (Power Panda); Tigress (Killer Prawn). /

Eliminated: #14, Bessie Higgenbottom (“The Mighty B!”). / #13: Brittany Miller (“Alvinnn!!!! And the Chipmunks”). / #12, Rico (“The Penguins of Madagascar”). / #11, Katarra (“Avatar: The Last Airbender”). / Songs featured in this episode: “Run Through the Jungle” by Creedence Clearwater Revival, and “Surfing Safari” by The Beach Boys. Featured former contestants are Reggie Rocket, and Taotie. The Pendant of Life is introduced in this episode, and is used for the first time by Tigress. With Katarra's elimination, all of the representatives from “Avatar: The Last Airbender” (namely, her), have now been eliminated from this game show. /

Personal Notes: I guess the reason why it took me so long to finish writing this episode, was because I was wondering whether I SHOULD finish writing this episode, due to the current situation. Luckily, I thought up of the “Disease Free Rule” Clause to included in every single contestants' contract, which made me feel more at ease with writing this episode. What I wanted to do in this episode, was to really DIVERGE from the path taken by “Total Drama: Revenge of the Island”, so instead of having the EXPECTED Bubble Bass turn out to be the primary antagonist, he ACTUALLY starts pulling a “Heel-Face Turn” in this episode, and the primary antagonist turns out to be TIGRESS, of ALL contestants! Needless to say, eliminating her will be no easy task for the other contestants. And while I probably took some liberties with Katarra's characterization, it was necessary for this overall plot to work. Just because someone is a clairvoyant, that doesn't mean they are always right. That's why she had to go this episode. I hope you enjoy reading this episode, as much as I did writing it. Enough said, true believers!

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

Spoiler

(Warning: Walls of Text Ahead)

(Cold Open):

The show opens up on the Diabolic Spaceship in Outer Space. Inside the Space Ship, Vipera and Baphomet are lamenting their LATEST loss, the fall of fourteen of their Necron/Imp Fighters, as well as M.O.D.O.K.! Baphomet says: “This is almost too much to bear! First, we lose Drako and Circe. Now, we've lost M.O.D.O.K., as well as 14 of our best fighters!”

Vipera says: “Not to mention, that Dr. Maniac is alive and well! He might come after us for STEALING the 200 Necrons he wanted! He is ruthless and insane! There's no telling WHAT kind of monsters he might have attack us, as long as we stick around Core Earth! As much as it pains me to say this, we might have to put our plans for conquering Neo-Austrailiasia as well as the rest of Core Earth on hold, as long as Dr. Maniac remains alive!”

Kraky moans, and says: “Ooh, I wish Drako was STILL alive!”

But at that precise moment, the retcon ripples REACH the Diabolic Spaceship, and they affect Drako's casket, and the body INSIDE of it! And the casket starts to shake VIOLENTLY!!!! Kraky says: “Could it be?!”

Baphomet asks: “But how?!”

A deep voice says: “Let...me...OUT!!!!”

And in a blinding flash of red light, Drako's casket BURSTS open, and Drako is suddenly standing alive and well, only NOW looking a whole lot STRONGER, and more fiercer! Vipera says: “Drako, you're ALIVE! Were you alive all this time?!”

Drako, in a deeper voice than before, says: “No, my Empress! I WAS quite dead...again! But, from what I can assess, it seems that fate and T'Zeen'tch has offered me another chance to prove myself! I seem to be MUCH stronger than I was before!”

Kraky says: “That flash of red light, that was one of M.O.D.O.K.'s powers!”

Drako says: “It makes sense now. The being called M.O.D.O.K., existed in the past, back when Dr. Maniac was a threat to the S.P.D. Power Rangers. Someone must have gone back in time and de-powered him in the past. However, it seems that M.O.D.O.K.'s powers, couldn't just GO away, they had to be transferred to somewhere else in the present. And it seems like T'Zeen'tch arranged it, so that M.O.D.O.K.'s power, and life-force, found its way into my body, so that I may now serve my Empress better! Speaking of, do you know what T'Zeen'tch is up to right now?”

Vipera says: “From what I can assess, I'm afraid that Radiguet does not SHARE your fondness for T'Zeen'tch, or ANY of the Main Chaos Gods for that matter! We just intercepted a message that Radiguet sent to the POWER Rangers! The only way Radiguet could contact them, with the Magi-Mother's Force Field still in place, is by absorbing the powers of T'Zeen'tch! He has the powers of a Chaos God!”

Drako says: “So, it seems that T'Zeen'tch's last act, before being absorbed, was to set one final plan in motion. He ensured that I would be revived with M.O.D.O.K.'s powers, in order to protect you from Radiguet's eventual return, and anyone else who might threaten you!”

Kraky says: “Speaking of, it's a good thing you're revived now, with Dr. Maniac still around!”

Drako chuckles dryly, and he says: “I had a feeling that Dr. Maniac might have been faking the dead! Now, we know for sure! Still, I don't think we're his primary concern. At least, not for the time-being. Dr. Maniac has ALWAYS been gunning for the Power Rangers first! Dr. Maniac won't rest UNTIL he's finished all the Power Rangers off! He wants revenge, and he won't stop until he gets it!”

Baphomet says: “So, what do we do in the mean-time?”

Drako says: “Unfortunately, I have no way of currently knowing how Dr. Maniac's newest plan is going to turn out. We're just going to have to wait and see. All I know is, it would actually be BETTER for us, if the Power Rangers were to finish off Dr. Maniac once and for all! We'd have a better chance of taking over Core Earth, with Dr. Maniac out of the way! And the only thing we have to worry about, is the Power Rangers and Queen Beryl!”

Vipera says: “Do you think we should keep on eye on Dr. Maniac?”

Drako thinks about it, and says: “As a matter of fact, I think that would be a VERY good idea! Track Dr. Maniac and find out WHERE he is trying to run to! We'll monitor the next battle the Power Rangers have to fight against him. And if we absolutely HAVE to, we will swoop in and turn the tide in favor of the Power Rangers!”

Kraky says: “Are you suggesting, we pull an Enemy Mine with the Power Rangers?!”

Drako says: “It wouldn't be the first time that I have PULLED such a tactic! I did it when the Power Rangers fought General Crush, lest you FORGET that important fact! Besides, it's called 'Pragmatic Villainy!' And if we help the Power Rangers now, they might be willing to trust us more somewhere down the road. And that trust will be advantageous to us, if we want to deceive them, and draw them into a sinister trap, where YOU can do what you PLEASE with them, your Empress!”

Vipera smirks, and she says: “How unexpectedly fortunate for me! My Evil Genius dies a wimp, and RETURNS to life, as a Hyper-Competent Sidekick! I have a feeling that luck is finally going to turn on our side, for once! Yes, we shall monitor Dr. Maniac's movements, and find him WHEREVER he ends up running to! Won't Dr. Maniac be surprised, that instead of running FROM him, we end up running TO him, and be the ones who help finish him off ONCE and for all?! Troops, place the Diabolic on stand-by, and prepare to move out at a moment's notice! Dr. Maniac's days are numbered!” /

State of Shock: Part I

Captain Retro narrates, and he says: “Previously, on Power Rangers Multiverse Force; with the threat of M.O.D.O.K., and Dr. Maniac a very real possibility, I, along with StarHawk, were forced to undertake a very dangerous journey back into the past, in order to remove M.O.D.O.K.'s powers, as well as save the lives of two innocents. Unfortunately, Radiguet used the opportunity to defeat one of the Chaos Gods, and absorb his powers as a result. Thankfully, StarHawk and I were able to accomplish what we needed to do in the past, set up a stable time-loop, and were even able to retcon Toby and Ebony back to life as a result, not that the other Rangers have any memory of what they were like before. Now, that the other Rangers are aware of Radiguet's new powers, as well as what Dr. Maniac is planning next, we now all must prepare for what we must do next, and gird ourselves, for the fight that will help put an end to Dr. Maniac's evil schemes, once, and for all!”

Words appear on the screen, and they say: “Now, Present Day, the second to last Tuesday of 2178, Core Earth, Coastal Falls.”

The Power Rangers and Captain Retro are standing inside the Command Center, checking the power level of all their powers, knowing the situation that they will soon have to face, will require them to be at full strength. Queen Hedrian comes in, and she says: “I never thought it would come to this! Having to actually HELP the Power Rangers against Dr. Maniac! If he's captured Mettaton, there is no telling WHAT Dr. Maniac could DO with an invention like that!”

BlackHawk says: “I agree. Mettaton wasn't EXACTLY an easy fight! He went two for five against me when I was in the Underworld. Fortunately, with all of you with me, and now being much stronger, it SHOULD be easier this time!”

Lettuce says: “Provided Dr. Maniac doesn't MAKE any modifications to him before we FIND him on the Planet Onyx!” (Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep!)

Usagi answers it, and she asks: “Undyne, is that you?!”

Undyne wearily says: “Yes, but, activate the Viewing Globe, and see Alphys' lab.”

Alpha Eight moans nervously, and he says: “Ooh, I have a BAD feeling about this!”

Alpha Eight turns the Viewing Globe on, and sure enough, the Rangers are HORRIFIED at how TRASHED Alphys' lab looks right now! Pinkie says: “Oh, no! Everything is BROKEN! SMASHED! RUINED!”

Undyne wearily says: “That's not the worst part! Dr. Maniac and those warrior females; they captured Mettaton, AND now have Alphys as a hostage!”

Omnus seriously says: “Undyne, Dr. Maniac has gone TOO far this time! He must be STOPPED once and for all! Woolbur Fleeceley?!”

Woolbur turns around, and asks: “Yes?”

Omnus says: “It's time. Call in the Legendary Rangers!”

Woolbur takes out his S.P.D. Morpher, and punches in code: “1-9-9-3!”

And to the astonishment of everyone in the Command Center, seven streaks of light come down into the Command Center! One of blue, one of white, one of green, one of red, one of pink, one of yellow, and one of black! The lights dissipate, and BILLY, TOMMY, ADAM, ANDROS, KARONE, KIRA, and ANUBIS 'Doggie' Kruger appear in the Command Center! Naruto says: “Wow! It's all the Legendary Rangers we've met! You're going to help us on this mission?!”

Tommy says: “Of course we are! You don't think you're going to defeat Dr. Maniac without some of the BEST to help you out, do you?!”

StarHawk says: “Glad to have you along! We could use ALL the help we can get!”

Captain Retro says: “Speaking of help, Woolbur Fleeceley, you and the rest of the S.P.D. Power Rangers, need to stay behind on Core Earth, while the rest of us go on our mission to track down Dr. Maniac on Planet Onyx! We can't afford to leave Core Earth defenseless!”

Woolbur Fleeceley says: “Agreed! Commander Kruger, seeing as how my brother is still alive, should I give back this Morpher now?”

Anubis says: “There's no need to. I just got word that Justin has decided to resign his position of Blue S.P.D. Ranger, and go back to just being the Blue Turbo Ranger. The Morpher has now been given to your older brother Ramone Fleeceley. So, you are now the TRUE Green S.P.D. Ranger, Woolbur!”

Woolbur says: “Thank you, Commander. That means a lot to me!”

FireHawk says: “Just one question, how are we going to GET to Planet Onyx?! We can't just WARP there, that place is CRAWLING with low-life villains and scum! And I ought to know, I USED to associate with some of them!”

Karone says: “You wouldn't be the first, sorry to burst your bubble!”

Andros says: “I have already taken care of that! Follow me, everybody!”

The Rangers walk into the Zord bay, where they happen to SEE an amazing sight! The Original Dino Megazord, the Tigerzord, the Zeo Megazord, the Lost Galaxy Megazord, the Dino Thunder Megazord, and the S.P.D. Megazord! Adam says: “WOAH!!!! Billy, you've really OUTDONE yourself!”

Billy says: “This is the project that I've been working on with Coop, trying to bring some of the old Megazords back online! Sorry it took me so long; there were an awful lot of parts to go through for some of them, and they only work if you have every piece! I've managed to modify them to work with Capsule technology, to make transporting all the Zords a real breeze!”

And Billy pushes a button, that seals all of the Zords in easy to carry Capsules, similar to “DragonBall Z” technology! Billy puts the Capsules into a carrying case, into his left pocket, and Kira says: “Thank you, Billy, we really appreciate it!”

Andros says: “And it's time to reveal the space-ship that can get us there; the Astro Mega Ship Mark II!”

Alpha Seven comes out of the Mega Ship, and with a familiar voice says: “Oh, it's SO good to see you again, Tommy and Andros! It's been quite a while, hasn't it?”

Usagi says: “Well, we know that you're usually quite busy monitoring the safety of KO-35 and that section of the Universe! We don't want to keep you from your job!”

Captain Retro says: “And it's time for us to do our job! The time has come, to call upon our powers, once again!”

Billy says: “It's been a while, but, it's MORPHING TIME!!!!” /

Billy gets an upgraded morph, similar to Adam's from “Once a Ranger”, and he's standing in a desert, where the original Triceratops Zord comes wheeling in! Billy morphs, and he says: “Triceratops, Mighty Morphing Ranger Power!” / Tommy says: “It's MORPHING TIME!!!!” And Tommy also gets a similar upgraded morph, and he's standing in the middle of a rocky canyon, where the Tigerzord comes rushing in! Tommy morphs, and he says: “Tigerzord, Mighty Morphing Ranger Power!” / Adam says: “It's MORPHING TIME!!!!” And he gets a different, upgraded morph! Adam is standing in front of a mountain, and the Green, Bull Zeo Zord comes charging RIGHT through it! Adam morphs, and he says: “Zeo Ranger Four, Green!” / Andros says: “Let's Rocket!” Andros JUMPS on top of the Astro Mega Ship, which is RUSHING through the air, and Andros morphs! Andros says: “Red Astro Power Ranger!” / Karone says: “Go, Galactic!” Karone holds up the Quasar Saber, and surrounded by Pink flames, feels the power flow into her, as the Pink Wildcat Zord forms from the flames! Karone says: “Lost Galaxy Pink Wildcat Ranger Power!” / Kira says: “Dino Thunder, power up!” Kira doesn't get an upgraded morph, but she still goes through her usual routine, and says: “Ptera power, Yellow Ranger!”/ Doggie Kruger says: “S.P.D., Emergency!” And he also performs his usual morph! Doggie says: “S.P.D. Shadow Ranger!” /

Usagi says: “It's our turn, Multiverse Power Rangers, it's Morphing Time!” / Pinkie says: “Power of Venus! Aether!!!!” / FireHawk says: “Power of Earth! Air!!!!” / StarHawk says: “Power of Mercury! Water!!!!” / Lettuce says: “Power of Jupiter! Lightning!!!!” / Naruto says: “Power of Mars! Fire!!!!” / Usagi says: “Cosmorpher! Sailor Moon! White Ranger Power!!!!” / BlackHawk says: “Power of the Sun! Gold!!!!” / The Rangers all finish morphing, and Tommy says: “All right, everyone, it's time to get on board, find Dr. Maniac, and stop him!”

They all walk towards the Astro Mega Ship, when Sans and D.O.G., suddenly come rushing in! Sans says: “Wait! I just heard the news! Is it true that Dr. Maniac kidnapped Alphys and Mettaton?”

BlackHawk sighs, and although Sans can't see it, behind his helmet, BlackHawk is fighting to hold back tears, as he says: “Yes, Sans! I'm afraid its true.”

Than suddenly, Sans' eyes begin glowing in a violent red that BlackHawk has NEVER seen before (having avoided a True Genocide Route), and Sans' voice suddenly deepens, as he says: “Does Dr. Maniac REALLY want to HAVE a BAD time?! Because he's NOT going to like what happens NEXT!!!!”

Captain Retro walks up to Sans, and places his right hand on his left shoulder, seeming to distill some of his anger. Captain Retro says: “I know you're mad about what Dr. Maniac has done. That man...no, not anymore. That MONSTER has crossed the LAST line! I was holding out some small hope that he COULD be redeemed, but once you've gone THAT far, there's almost NO coming back from that! We're going to deal with him and STOP him! And we'll rescue Alphys!”

Sans asks: “And Mettaton? What about him?”

FireHawk says: “There's no telling what kind of modifications Dr. Maniac has already done to him! We'll do what we can, but I won't make any promises we can't keep!”

Sans says: “Than...you need to let me come WITH you! I've lived more lifetimes and time-lines than most beings, and I have always felt like I needed to hold back. Being stuck in the underground, my reality was reset so many times, I lost the will to care, and felt like I had no power to make a difference. But with Alphys kidnapped, I simply CAN'T stand by, not this time! I HAVE to care! I WILL save Alphys, and make Dr. Maniac, PERISH by my own hands! Even if it costs ME everything!”

StarHawk asks: “Captain Retro, what do YOU think about this?”

Captain Retro says: “We better take him with us. If Sans REALLY wants to do something, than there's almost no possibility of stopping him! But what I want to really know is, what are YOU doing here, D.O.G.?”

D.O.G., says: “On a piece of a paper, it appears that I have written a note. I wanted to remember something important!”

D.O.G., hands the piece of paper to Captain Retro, and Captain Retro reads it aloud, saying: “Captain Retro IS my brother!”

D.O.G., asks: “Well, is it TRUE?”

Captain Retro sighs, and says: “I'm sorry, but I wasn't ALLOWED to tell you or any member of my family, due to my connection to the Dog Guardian. You had to figure it out for yourself. Clifford was worried that you would be jealous to know I was chosen, and you, weren't.”

D.O.G., says: “I'm not jealous. You've always been the stronger one, and you have been through more than I could possibly know.”

Captain Retro says: “I wish we could play catch-up, but right now; there isn't any time! There is one small gift I want to entrust, though. Krash'ir, I think you can handle these!”

Captain Retro opens a box, and reveals five morphers, that look a LOT like the Magna Defender's morphing device! Omnus says: “The Legendary Thunder Morphers! I thought those were lost in the great battle 10,000 years ago!”

Captain Retro says: “The Magi-Mother actually found them while going on a spiritual walk-about in Neo-Austrailiasia. She told me I would know when the time was right to reveal them! Krash'ir, if you need to, find four others to give a morpher to. I trust your judgment.”

Krash'ir says: “I want to come with you.”

Usagi says: “I know you do, but one of us HAS to stay on Core Earth and take care of Sally Anne and protect her. And with the power of a Thunder Morpher, you would be able to do the job a lot better! What color do YOU want to be?!”

Krash'ir thinks about it, and says: “Blue. It just...feels right to me, somehow!”

Naruto says: “Very well, then! You'll take care of things on the home front, we'll go after Dr. Maniac and stop him, by any means NECESSARY!”

Lettuce says: “We'll be back in time for Christmas!”

D.O.G., says: “I sure hope so!”

The Rangers, Captain Retro, and Sans; all board the Astro Mega Ship. D.E.C.A., says: “Welcome, Andros. Please state your desired destination.”

Andros says: “The Planet Onyx! Intercept and stop Dr. Maniac! It's personal, this time!”

D.E.C.A., says: “Command confirmed! Calculating trajectory for any hazards. Route clear, setting speed for 4,000 times the speed of light! Counting down. Five, four, three, two, one, ignition!”

And the Astro Mega Ship blasts off, out of the atmosphere of Core Earth, and as soon as it enters into deep space, blasts off in a BLINDING flash, barreling towards Planet Onyx at nearly unimaginable speeds! D.O.G., says: “Wow! That WAS fast! We didn't even get a chance to say, 'Good luck'!” /

Meanwhile, off in the distance, the Diabolic has been hiding behind Core Earth's Moon, and sees the Rangers blast off. Drako says: “They've made their move! It's time to go!”

Vipera says: “And leave Core Earth in the hands of Queen Beryl?”

Baphomet says: “The Rangers have probably already made arrangements! Queen Beryl won't make much progress, IF any, knowing how resourceful the Rangers are!”

Kraky says: “I'm quite inclined to agree!”

Vipera says: “Very well! The Diabolic shall FOLLOW the Rangers, and ensure that Dr. Maniac does NOT escape their wrath!”

The Diabolic fires a laser, and creates a wormhole big enough for the Diabolic to go through, and enters it to quickly reach the planet of Onyx! /

Meanwhile, in Queen Beryl's palace, Kunzite and Zolzite are watching something, that while very old to humans, is VERY new to them, as they hear the theme song of “I Love Lucy” play on their TV! Queen Beryl shouts: “Will you turn down that INFERNAL racket?! You're interrupting my 23 hours of BEAUTY sleep!”

Abaddon says: “You might want to shoot for 24.”

Queen Beryl shouts: “WHAT?!!!”

Abaddon sheepishly says: “Nothing!”

Kunzite says: “This is what Dr. Maniac WAS talking about! He was just a little off on his calculations on when this TV program would finally get to us!”

On the TV screen, the character, Ricky Ricardo says: “Hey, Lucy, I'm HOME!!!!”

Zolzite says: “It makes a lot more sense now, hearing the ORIGINAL source material!”

Queen Beryl says: “I think it stinks! It's not even in COLOR for crying out loud! Isn't there anything ELSE good on?!”

Abaddon says: “With access to only THREE Earth channels playing programs from the 1950's? Good luck with THAT!”

Queen Beryl then sees Lucy on-screen, dressed as Carmen Miranda, and wearing a fruity hat. Queen Beryl says: “Hold the phone, pause it right there!”

And Abaddon magically pauses the action in place! Queen Beryl says: “That gives me a REALLY great idea!”

Kunzite says: “Are we going to FORCE Core Earth to watch only outdated, politically incorrect TV programs from the 1950's?”

Queen Beryl says: “Even better! We're going to turn that FRUITY hat that Lucy is wearing, into a diabolical Youkai! Kunzite, you may do the honors!”

Zolzite says: “But Kunzite got to make the LAST Youkai! It's MY turn to make a Youkai!”

Abaddon says: “Tell you what, we'll split the difference. Why don't you BOTH make the Youkai this time? That way, it will be TWICE as strong!”

Kunzite says: “Fine with me. As long as it generates the energy needed to revive Queen Metalia, that's all I care about.”

Queen Beryl says: “Than make it happen!”

Kunzite and Zolzite simultaneously say: “From our magic, we now seek, bring to us a FRUIT Freak!”

They zap the TV, copy the Fruity Hat that Lucy is wearing, bring it OUT of the TV screen, and then transform it into a feminine monster made up of a bunch of different fruits! The only problem is, it's in black and white! Queen Beryl yells: “That monster looks nothing LIKE Core Earth fruit, you IDIOTS!”

Zolzite says: “You want it in COLOR?! Sheesh, you're SO picky!”

Zolzite zaps the monster again, and fixes its coloring problem, so the monster is now displaying its fruits in wonderful, glorious Technicolor. Fruit Freak says: “I am Fruit Freak! I'm going to turn the Power Rangers and anything they try to protect into a delicious, but very PUREED, fruit smoothie!”

Queen Beryl says: “We know who YOU are, THEY created you! And you can start by going down to Core Earth now, seek the one called Usagi, and give HER a blending she won't soon forget!”

Abaddon says: “Begging your majesty's pardon, but it seems like Usagi and the other Power Rangers, are not ON Core Earth right now!”

Queen Beryl says: “Come on! They HAVE to BE there! Where ELSE would they be?!”

Abaddon says: “According to my scanners, they are on the Astro Mega Ship, and heading for the Planet Onyx at 4,000 times the speed of light! Of course, they wouldn't go THERE unless they had a good reason to! It looks like you'll have to put your plans for Usagi on hold!”

Queen Beryl says: Forget Usagi! We'll continue as planned! With no Power Rangers to get in the way, Fruit Freak can gather energy uninhibited! Fruit Freak, you KNOW your task! Now, carry it out!”

Fruit Freak says: “At once, your majesty!” And Fruit Freak warps to Core Earth!

Queen Beryl says: “With no Power Rangers to get in the way THIS time, it's only a question of 'When' Queen Metalia will be revived, and not 'If'! I just LOVE it when I'm nasty!” /

Of course, the instant that Fruit Freak touches down on Core Earth, in Brazil of ALL places, the alarms in the Command Center go off! Alpha 8 says: “Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi! This is JUST what we DIDN'T need at this moment!”

Omnus says: “Calm down, Alpha 8. Krash'ir has the Thunder Morphers. She WILL find four candidates to give them to.”

Queen Hedrian says: “Do you really think so?”

Omnus says: “Of course. Usagi has kept Krash'ir informed of all the important souls that the Power Rangers have saved. I know she will make the right call!” /

Meanwhile, at Krash'ir's apartment, Krash'ir is sharpening her blade, when the communicator she is wearing, goes off! Beep! Beep! Ba-beep! Beep! Beep! Sally Anne asks: “What's that sound, mommy?”

Krash'ir says: “It means there might be trouble somewhere, sweetie. Mommy MAY have to hire a sitter for you, soon!” She pushes the communicator, and says: “Talk to me, Omnus, what have we got?”

Omnus says: “Krash'ir, Queen Beryl has unleashed a new Youkai called Fruit Freak, and it has landed in Brazil. We know your appetite, but ONE cannot do this job alone! I trust you have four good candidates in mind?”

Krash'ir says: “Of course, but I can't leave Sally Anne unattended.”

Omnus says: “I've already taken the liberty of contacting Papyrus! He should be there--.”

Papyrus knocks on the door and loudly says: “DID SOMEBODY CALL FOR A SITTER?!”

Omnus says: “That was faster than I thought he would be!”

Krash'ir opens the door, and she says: “Thank you Papyrus, for coming over on short notice!”

Papyrus walks in, and he says: “If Sans can do it, how HARD can it be for me?!”

Krash'ir says: “Sally's formula is in the fridge, make sure she gets a nap every three hours, or she will get cranky, and don't let her NEAR the room where I keep the guns, the weapons, the knives, and that one picture where I think I'm making a WEIRD face in it! Well...weirder than I usually do! Sally, listen to EVERYTHING that Uncle Papyrus says, and STAY out of trouble! I'll be back before dark, Mommy has business to take care of!”

And Krash'ir warps out of her apartment! Papyrus pulls out a Blu-Ray, and says: “Who wants to watch The Little Mermaid?!” And Sally Anne SQUEES with delight! /

Krash'ir warps to Camp Kidney first, and she says: “This is a good place to start! I can get TWO candidates here if I'm lucky! But they might be intimidated by how I look! I better MORPH into something a less overwhelming! Now, if I remember the archives correctly, the morph went something like this! It's MORPHING time!” /

Krash'ir is standing inside what looks like a computer grid, and a very impressive (by 1993 standards) computer graphic image of the Blue Kirin Thunderzord appears behind her, and she morphs into the Blue Thunderzord Power Ranger! Krash'ir says: “Blue Kirin Thunderzord power!” /

Krash'ir looks at the finished result, and she says: “I could get USED to this!”

She then sees Samson and Patsy walking towards the cafeteria, and she says: “Samson, Patsy! I need to talk to you!”

Samson asks: “You're a Power Ranger? I've never seen one that looks like YOU before. Although you DO remind me of that Tigerzord, White Ranger!”

Krash'ir says: “I don't have much time to explain! There's a dangerous monster attacking Brazil, and the regular Power Rangers are already dealing with a previous engagement!”

Patsy asks: “A previous engagement? What does THAT mean?”

Krash'ir says: “I'll fill you in later. I KNOW it's asking for a lot, but you two are PERFECT candidates to become Thunder Rangers!”

Patsy's eyes light up, and she asks: “You mean, I get my OWN Master Morpher?!”

Krash'ir says: “Well, it's a Thunder Morpher, but you've got the general idea!”

Samson says: “I've trained my body six years for an opportunity like this! Of course I'll take it!”

Krash'ir says: “That's the spirit! Now, pick any color you'd like! Pink Flloyd reference!”

Samson says: “Red!”

Patsy asks: “Why do YOU get to be red?!”

Samson says: “Well, I AM already wearing a red loin-cloth!”

Patsy says: “LUCKY! And I suppose, that BECAUSE I have pink hair, that somehow would make ME, the Pink Ranger!”

Samson says: “Well, SOMEBODY has to be! Besides, Pink Rangers almost ALWAYS have a skirt on them, or so I've noticed!”

Patsy groans, and says: “Fine, I'll take the Pink morpher! Better than NOTHING!”

Krash'ir says: “Perfect! Take these communicators!”

And she tosses them both a wrist communicator, and Krash'ir activates hers, and she says: “Omnus! I've got the Red and Pink Thunder Rangers! Tell them they're morphing call and warp them to Brazil immediately! Someone has GOT to keep the Fruit Freak at bay until I find the other candidates!”

Omnus says: “Of course! Samson and Patsy, the time has come! Samson, your morphing call is the Red Dragon Thunderzord! Patsy, your morphing call is the Pink Phoenix Thunderzord!”

Patsy's eyes light up again, and she says: “Pink Phoenix, huh? Suddenly, the Pink Ranger sounds like a pretty AWESOME power!”

Samson says: “That's the spirit! It's morphing time!” /

Samson gets a similar morph to Krash'ir's, only, a 1993 styled computer generated model of the Red Dragon Thunderzord appears behind him, and he morphs into the Red Dragon Thunder Ranger! Samson says: “Red Dragon Thunderzord power!” /

Patsy also gets a similar morph, and for her, a 1993 styled computer generated model of the Pink Phoenix Thunderzord appears behind her, and she morphs into the Pink Phoenix Thunder Ranger! Patsy says: “Pink Phoenix Thunderzord power!” /

After they finish morphing, they are both astonished by the results! Samson says: “Wow! These suits are pretty fancy!”

Krash'ir says: “You can admire your suits later! Right now, Brazil needs you!”

Patsy says: “Right! I already HAVE a little experience of being a Ranger, I'll show Samson the ropes until you're able to help us...by the way, we haven't even gotten your NAME yet!”

Krash'ir is taken aback, and although she doesn't show it through her visor, she IS a little nervous! Krash'ir says: “My name is...Krash'ir. I'm a friend of the regular Rangers!”

Samson wonders aloud: “What kind of parents...no. It's not important. If you're friends with the regular Rangers, that's good enough for us! Omnus, take us to Brazil!”

And Omnus warps the two of them to Brazil! Krash'ir says: “That's two down, and two more to go! And I know just where to FIND those two!” /

Samson and Patsy land in Brazil! Patsy says: “So THIS is what Lazlo's home country looks like! I always WANTED to take a visit here PERSONALLY!”

Samson says: “We don't have time to see the sights, look!”

And in the direction that Samson is pointing, he sees the Fruit Freak monster, zapping a bunch of running people, and turning them into a FRUIT of whatever color their shirt happens to be! Samson says: “Honestly, I feel like that's only the SECOND weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life!”

Patsy says: “I defer to your OWN personal experience! We've got to STOP that Fruit Freak before he eats those fruits, or else we'll NEVER be able to turn those people back to normal! Do you mind if I take the lead?”

Samson says: “I heard that Kimberly once led a make-shift team of Power Rangers to fight against a monster that Goldar had created, and Jen was the TECHNICAL leader of the Time Force Power Rangers, so it's certainly NOT unheard of. So by all means, go right ahead!”

Patsy says: “Right! Hey, Fruit Freak! Didn't your mother ever teach you to wash your orange hand/banana fingers BEFORE handling unwashed fruit?”

Fruit Freak asks: “Who dares to talk to—AHH!!!!”

Samson strikes a pose, and answers: We do! Red Dragon Thunder Ranger!”

Patsy strikes a pose, and she says: “Pink Phoenix Thunder Ranger!”

They simultaneously say: “We are the Mighty Morphing Thunder Rangers!” And a red colored, and a pink colored explosion unexpectedly appear behind them simultaneously! /

Abaddon is monitoring the action and says: “WHAT?! MORE new Rangers! I've never even SEEN these Power Rangers before...that I KNOW of!”

Queen Beryl says: “That dirty, STINKING Omnus! He always has to meddle in my plans! Well, if he wants a fight, he's going to get it! Fruit Freak is NOT to be taken lightly!” / Krash'ir warps to the Little's rebuilt, refurbished mansion, and she says: “Here's stop number 2! I just hope that Ace and Abby are WILLING to let Coop and D.O.G., see action!”

She rings the doorbell, and Coop answers it! He asks: “Krash'ir! Is that YOU?!”

Krash'ir asks: “How did YOU know I was Krash'ir?!”

Coop slyly answers: “Because you just TOLD me!”

Krash'ir face-palms her helmet, and she says: “I've REALLY got to learn to STOP falling for that! Is D.O.G., here?”

Coop says: “Yes, he just got back. But what do you need D.O.G., for?”

Krash'ir says: “Actually, I need both him AND you for what I'm about to ask for!”

Abby runs to the door and she asks: “Now who in the world would interrupt my Netflix viewing of Grace and Frankie?! A Power Ranger?! Well, this IS an unexpected, yet somehow, not really a surprising event, considering everything WE'VE been through!”

D.O.G., runs to the door, and he says: “Ooh! We have a guest! Should I whip up some treats?!”

Krash'ir says: “Sorry, D.O.G., but I don't have time for treats! Abby, I need to ask you and Ace for a favor!”

Ace comes to the door, and he says: “Whatever you need, we're happy to help!”

Krash'ir says: “Perfect! I need Coop and D.O.G., for their help and assistance! I need them to become Thunder Power Rangers!”

D.O.G., asks: “You want ME, to become a Power Ranger?!”

Abby stomps her foot down and says: “NO! Absolutely NOT! I already FRET every single time BlackHawk goes out on a mission, and that's even KNOWING that death is only a slap on the WRIST for him! I mean, D.O.G., is FINE! He's been around since the 1970's! But Coop is out of the question!”

Coop says: “MOM!!!! I'm already twelve! And I've been through so MUCH already! Besides, have you already FORGOTTEN the kind of power that I currently have?!”

Ace says: “I've actually been WONDERING that myself!”

Coop says: “Shadow Chicken Aura, ACTIVATE!!!!”

And Coop manifests a BIG, muscular, heroic chicken Aura, that EASILY fills up the entire room of that Mansion! Abby's beak is agape, and she says: “WOAH!!!! I sure am glad we DIDN'T put a fancy chandelier anywhere in our mansion THIS time!”

Coop says: “Shadow Chicken Aura, De-Activate!”

And the Aura dissipates! Coop says: “Mom, I know it's going to be dangerous! But I've already been through so much worse! Remember the Night Master and Eradicus? I can clearly handle myself! Besides, I'll have D.O.G., to protect me! And Krash'ir won't let anything bad happen to me! I'm not like Justin, I won't try to rush into any situation that I can't handle, and I won't get in the way or make matters worse, not even unwittingly! Omnus NEEDS our help! What would Ace do?!”

Ace says: “Well, he's certainly got more power than Robert Palmer and the Power Station, that's for sure! And he's certainly got a better head on his shoulders than a good number of others who have called themselves Rangers over the years. I KNOW he won't let us down!”

Abby groans, and she says: “I'm just sick and TIRED of feeling so HELPLESS compared to you guys! I guess you're MORE like your brother than I thought you were. Now, let's see if all those academic trophies that you won are worth their weight in paper!”

Coop says: “Are you giving me your blessing?”

Abby says: “Not happily, but I'll do it. I feel better knowing you chose Coop and D.O.G., over far LESS qualified candidates that you could have picked!”

Krash'ir says: “Rest assured, Abby, I'll keep these two safe no MATTER the cost to MY personal health and safety!”

Abby says: “Thank you, I feel SO much better!”

Krash'ir says: “I only have two Morpher colors here. Green and yellow. I'm not sure which one you want.”

D.O.G., says: “I don't mind being a Yellow Ranger.”

Coop says: “Are you SURE?! Isn't the Yellow Ranger usually a female?”

Krash'ir says: “Often? Yes; but it's not a STRICT rule! The Yellow Ranger power is more gender neutral than the other Ranger Powers, so it's more flexible on which gender can be that power. That's why a LOT of Yellow Rangers DON'T have skirts, it ALLOWS for that flexibility!”

Coop says: “I always WONDERED about that! Well mom, I guess that means you got to go shopping for me!”

Abby asks: “Shopping? What for?”

Coop says: “For new GREEN clothes! I noticed a severe LACK of GREEN in my wardrobe!”

Ace says: “Yep! He's like his brother, all right!”

Abby says: “Maybe so, but he's definitely a little bit brighter, for the wear! Also, NONE of you are to EVER tell BlackHawk that I ever SAID that to any of you, EVER!”

Krash'ir says: “Forgetting! And you two, take these communicators!”

She tosses them two wrist communicators, and D.O.G., says: “WOW! I've always DREAMED about having one of these things! Now that dream has come true!”

Krash'ir activates her communicator, and she says: “Omnus, I've got the other two Power Rangers! How are the others holding up?”

Omnus says: “They are doing fine, but they need your help in order to finish off Fruit Freak! Coop, your morphing call is the Green Lion Thunderzord power! D.O.G., your morphing call is the Yellow Korin Thunderzord Power!”

Coop says: “Got it! I always WANTED to say this! It's MORPHING time!” /

Coop gets a morph similar to the one Krash'ir has, and for him, he gets a 1993 computer graphic styled image of the Green Lion Thunderzord behind him. He morphs into the Green Lion Thunderzord Ranger, grows to FULL adult height, and he says: “Green Lion Thunderzord power!” /

D.O.G., gets a morph similar to Coop's, and for him, he gets a 1993 computer graphic styled image of the Yellow Korin Thunderzord behind him. He morphs into the Yellow Korin Thunderzord Ranger, and he says: “Yellow Korin Thunderzord power!” /

Ace looks at Coop's finished result, and he says: “WOAH! And I thought that MY growth spurt was surprisingly big and fast!”

Coop says: “Don't worry! I may be big, but I'm STILL the same Coop on the inside!”

Abby says: “Don't go changing TOO much, except into a Power Ranger to beat up whatever bad guys or girls you NEED to beat up!”

Krash'ir says: “Rest assured, I will keep these two safe! Omnus, warp us to Brazil!”

And the three of them warp out of the mansion! Abby says: “First BlackHawk, than D.O.G., now Coop is a Power Ranger as well. How did WE get to be the ONLY two in this residence without ANY Ranger Powers whatsoever?”

Ace says: “It's not the morpher that counts. It's the spirit, attitude, and skill that's more important than anything. I know that Coop and D.O.G., will make us proud.”

Abby says: “You're right. I know they'll be okay.” /

Radiguet is viewing the city of Corinth in the “Power Rangers R.P.M.” dimension, eagerly eying his next conquest! Gray the Robot says: “THIS is the dimension you want to conquer SO badly?! Seems like a waste of time to me. There are HARDLY enough people remaining in this dimension to even WARRANT you calling it a trophy!”

Radiguet rolls his eyes and says: “As I've told you SO many times, it's not the amount of people that are important, it's anyone who happens to be a BLASTED Power Ranger themselves! Despite Venjix's best efforts, the Power Rangers have somehow managed to thrive here as well. I will do what Venjix couldn't and FINISH them off myself!”

Tranza walks in, and he says: “Sire, our scanners indicate that Dr. Maniac has fled to the Planet Onyx, just as you anticipated! The Power Rangers are on the Astro Mega Ship Mark II, closing in behind him as we speak!”

Radiguet gets a slasher smile and says: “Excellent! And while we're busy SLAUGHTERING all those SICK sexual DEVIANTS who worship that DISGUSTING Sla'neesh HERE, it will SURELY attract his attention! Then, I will capture HIM in a Way Stone like I did T'zeen'tch, than, Khorne will be no match for me, once I FINISH with this dimension HERE!!!!”

A Valley Girl voice says: “Oh, poo! Must you always sound SO predictable?!”

Radiguet turns around and he says: “WHAT?!!!”

Everyone turns around, and STARES at the beautiful, blonde-haired woman, dressed up in traditional Greek clothing, wearing Greek sandals, and carrying a Golden Apple!

The woman says: “Come, now! Is that any way to react to a former flame?”

Radiguet says: “Eris! How did YOU get on my ship?! It's not even in YOUR dimension at the moment, or haven't you NOTICED?!”

Eris says: “In case you have forgotten, I just HAPPEN to be the Goddess of Discord. And as such, my powers allow me to warp to anywhere I want to be. Even if that place HAPPENS to be a place where YOU don't want me to be!”

Radiguet says: “My more pressing question is, why have YOU decided to come here?! If you think I'm going to take you BACK after the LIE that YOU pulled on me, you're WRONG! You said you were FERTILE, and YOU turned out to be BARREN! NEVER able to have kids! I only MARRY women who CAN, HAVE, and WILL produce a suitable HEIR to my family lineage whenever I WANT her to! And who DON'T talk BACK to ME unless SPOKEN to!”

Eris scoffs, and she says: “Oh, PLEASE! The only reason MARIA is STILL with you, is because you're BRAINWASHING her into WANTING to be with you! And WHY are you STILL imitating, Him, from The Powerpuff Girls? We all KNOW that's NOT your REAL voice!”

Radiguet reveals a hidden voice box hiding under his shirt, he removes it, and suddenly starts talking JUST like Adam Driver! Radiguet says: “Is that what you want to hear? To hear me with my real voice? Well, wish granted! Of course, it hardly matters what I sound like! Either way, I strike fear into the hearts of millions!”

Eris says: “Not to me, you don't! And I actually LOVED you the way you were BEFORE! Back before your father, Egos Satan started to manipulate you and turn into the psychopathic MONSTER that you are now!”

Radiguet says: “Well, my mother, Empress Jooza, ALSO tried to kill me, in case you forgot!”

Eris says: “Your Freudian Excuse is NO excuse for your OWN personal actions, Radiguet! And someday, your actions WILL be taken into account by the Guardians, and I can assure you, they will NOT be as merciful to you, as I'm being now!”

Radiguet says: “Aslan is gone, thanks to the White Witch. And the other Guardians don't concern me. Besides, it's not THEM that I'm after. My goal is the remaining Chaos Gods, offing the Crimson King, and making the Space Emperor's powers my own. Than, EVERYONE will worship me like the God I TRULY will have become! And don't worry, once I'm old and I've had my fun, among the beings that I decide are WORTH sparing, I'll give ALL of them super-powers, so that EVERYONE can be super! And when EVERYONE'S super, NO ONE will BE! See how THAT works?”

Eris says: “Sorry to throw a KINK into your plans, but I happen to KNOW how the Chaos Gods work, being the Goddess of Discord herself! And as such, I happen to know that they are NOT just going to LET you proceed with YOUR plans the way you EXPECT them to! Which is why both Khorne and Sla'neesh outvoted Nurgle, to select me to carry out their plans!”

Radiguet asks: “And what plans are those? Invading that Eldritch Location called Endsville AGAIN? Where the Grim Reaper is FORCED to be best friends with a bratty, creepy girl, and a boy with the I.Q., of a ravioli? Sounds REALLY scary, Eris!”

Eris scoffs: “Been there, done that! Since you don't think the team of Power Rangers HERE, are much of a threat to you, I thought I'd provide you with a little more sport. Using MY Golden Apple of Discord, I shall bring back to life, ALL the teams of Power Rangers who EVER inhabited the Power Rangers R.P.M. Dimension!”

And she throws the Golden Apple down on the ground of the ship, and sure enough, the scanners on Radiguet's ship, start to go CRAZY, as it indicated the life-forms of HUNDREDS of former Power Rangers, being brought back to life at the PEAK of their powers, ready to defend the city of Corinth! Eris says: “You're welcome! Now, do me a favor and have FUN with them! Oh, and just remember one thing! Don't get mad at me. Everything I do, I do it because I love and cherish people, in my own unique way. And if you should ever remember the man you used to be, just remember, I'm only a hop, skip, and a jump away, metaphorically speaking. Later, lover!”

And before any of them can do anything, Eris disappears through a magic wormhole, and warps away to points unknown! Tranza says: “She called you her LOVER! Who IS this Eris, anyways? And why do you happen to HATE her so much, BESIDES the reason you just mentioned?”

Radiguet asked: “WHY do I hate Eris so much? She's the embodiment of all GOOD, benevolent chaos. I'm the embodiment of all EVIL, malevolent chaos. DO THE MATH!!!! Well, Eris. You're certainly more crafty and manipulative than I gave you credit for. It's a PITY you had to upset me! There are only TWO types of beings in the Multiverse; those who WORSHIP me, and those who UPSET me. And you DON'T want to be a being that UPSETS me. Because...well, let's just say I can't guarantee the long-term health of anyone who upsets me.”

Tranza asks: “Do you want ME to go down to Corinth and handle the revived Power Rangers?”

Radiguet says: “I don't think that will be necessary. I'll just send down a few thousand of my personal Hell Fighters for them to remember me by. I know a good number of them have had to fight the Cogs in the past. But my Hell Fighters? They're like the Cogs on STEROIDS! And they DON'T take any prisoners! Hell Fighters, raise HELL!!!!”

The Hell Fighters say: “Sir, yes, sir!”

And they all warp down to Corinth! Radiguet says: “Well played, Sla'neesh. You've managed to DELAY the inevitable, ALL the worse for you! Instead of taking care of you SOONER, I'll take care of you LATER! I'll be ALL the stronger for it by then! Soon, Sla'neesh, I will personally make you PAY for all the HORRIBLE HELL YOU PUT ME THROUGH, I'll make you pay for it in SPADES!!!!” / /

D.E.C.A.'s alert system blares, and she says: “Planet Onyx detected! Exiting 4,000 times light speed now! Onyx is in range, and ready for you to warp.”

They exit out of the blazing warp speed, and see the wild, rocky planet of Onyx, proportionally below them, relative to their position in space. Andros says: “This is it, you guys! There's no turning back from this point here!”

Captain Retro says: “Don't worry. We wouldn't have come THIS far if we were just going to back out here and now! We WON'T let you down!”

Tommy says: “Right, then! Time for action!”

And the fourteen Rangers, Sans, and Captain Retro, warp down to Planet Onyx! Alpha 7 says: “Good luck, Rangers! May the power of Zordon protect you!” /

They land on Onyx, and they are all SHOCKED to see a giant fortress FILLED with technological weapons, radar systems, and sheer defenses that haven't been seen since 1985! Pinkie Pie asks: “What the HECK is THAT?!”

Lettuce says: “That's Dr. Maniac's fortress, rebuilt from the ground up!”

FireHawk says: “I guess if you invest your money WELL for about 200 years, you can BUY something pretty...UGLY, that IS!”

They hear a familiar cackling, and a giant, holographic image of Dr. Maniac appears in front of his fortress! Dr. Maniac says: “MWA, HA, HA, HA!!!! I KNEW you would come after me, like the predictable PEONS that you are! I've got Alphys hostage, if you DARE to try and SAVE her! You'll see my fortress, has EIGHT different entrances! But WHICH entrance is the RIGHT entrance that leads to MY inner lair?! Well, they ALL do, but EACH entrance and pathway has TERRIFYING traps and some of MY personal favorite MONSTERS, who I've REVIVED just for this occasion! What kind of traps and monsters you might ask? Well, that would be TELLING, wouldn't it?! Oh, and DON'T think you can just use ONE entrance and be DONE with it! You'll need the passwords you will obtain from ALL eight paths, in order to enter into my Inner Lair, and Lettuce, you CAN'T hammer your way through THAT door!”

Lettuce says: “Darn it!”

Dr. Maniac says: “Besides, if you WERE to leave any ONE of my monsters alive, they might very well get very ROUGH on Alphys or anyone ELSE you Rangers care about and protect! Fare well, though I know you won't! MWA, HA, HA!!!!”

Sans angrily says: “That MONSTER!!!!”

And Sans runs into the doorway marked number 4, and Captain Retro flies after him, and Captain Retro says: “Wait, Sans! You don't know what's in there!”

StarHawk asks: “Now what are we going to do?”

Billy says: “It looks like Dr. Maniac's fortress is too strong to blast apart. Besides, we can't risk hurting Alphys. We're simply going to have to fight our way through. Everybody partner up! Nobody faces a monster alone!”

Tommy says: “Agreed! Usagi, you come with me!”

Usagi says: “The honor is all mine!

Anubis 'Doggie' Kruger says: “FireHawk, you come with me!”

FireHawk says: “Yes, sir!

Andros says: “Naruto, you're with me!”

Naruto says: “Awesome!”

Lettuce says: “Pinkie, will you fight with me?”

Pinkie snarks back, and asks: “Don't you want to fight with your REAL girlfriend, Kira?!”

Lettuce says: “Come ON, Pinkie! I already apologized a hundred times about that STUPID shrine to Kira! To clarify, the SHRINE was stupid, not Kira; I mean...you know what I mean!”

Pinkie says: “I'm GOING with Karone! I'd trust the woman FORMERLY known as Astronema, more than I CURRENTLY trust YOU!”

Lettuce says: “Than tell me! What do I have to do to get your trust back BESIDES destroying that STUPID Shrine, which I already did?!”

Pinkie says: “If you want my trust, than you'll EARN it! Otherwise, I WON'T be giving you the time of DAY!!!!”

Adam pats Lettuce on the shoulder, and he says: “It's okay, Lettuce, you can come with me.”

Lettuce asks: “Have you EVER had any relationship troubles like this?”

Adam says: “Not with Tanya, I haven't. But then again, it's NOT like she HAD any actual competition in MY books! You want MY advice? You need to prove that your SELFLESS and willing to put Pinkie's OWN needs above your own, IF you truly DO care as much for her as you SAY that you do!”

Lettuce says: “Selfless, bold, and caring? I can do that!”

Adam says: “Than you're already half-way there! The rest is up to you!”

Billy says: “StarHawk, do you want to partner up with me?”

StarHawk asks: “May I, BlackHawk?”

BlackHawk says: “I think it would be a good learning experience, so go ahead.”

StarHawk says: “Thanks, BlackHawk!

Kira says: “I guess that means you're partnering up with me, BlackHawk!”

Pinkie asks: “Are YOU two going to get up to anything?”

BlackHawk says: “First of all, she's NOT my type! And secondly, she's NOT even my same species! I don't know WHY, but for some reason, I just don't think a Hawkian/human relationship would work for me, or for her.”

StarHawk says: “If you can trust me, than I know I can trust you!”

Adam points, and he says: “See, right there? BlackHawk and StarHawk have the right idea.”

Andros says: “All right, Rangers, let's move!”

Billy and StarHawk run into the doorway, with the number one; Tommy and Usagi run into the doorway with the number two; Adam and Lettuce run into the doorway with the number three; Andros and Naruto run into the doorway with the number five; Karone and Pinkie run into the doorway with the number six; Kira and BlackHawk run into the doorway with the number seven; and Anubis and FireHawk run into the doorway with the number eight. As soon as all of the Rangers enter the fortress, the doors slam shut behind them! Naruto says: “Well, looks like we won't be leaving through the front door!”

Andros says: “Definitely not if Dr. Maniac can help it! From here on out, we'll all have to rely on each other to see this through!”

Naruto says: “I know we are ALL up to this task at hand!” /

To Be Continued...

 

[4EverGreen]

I'm sorry these re-runs of mine take so long to get put up on here, but at long last, here is another one for your personal enjoyment. /

Sniz is in the cafeteria, and General Barracuda is STRETCHING out Anti-Cosmo on a Mideval Torture Rack, while Stealers Wheel's original version of "Stuck In the Middle With You" is playing in the background. Sniz says: "Last time on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, Anti-Cosmo THOUGHT it would be a funny idea to strand Fondue and I on a deserted island, not even WITH the shirts, or anything, on our backs." Anti-Cosmo is groaning, and says: "AHHH! Come on! Can't you...can't you TAKE a JOKE?! AHHH!!!!" Sniz continues as if Anti-Cosmo said nothing, and Sniz says: "And later, he did the same thing to Bubble Bass and Po, as well." General Barracuda says: "So my challenge for the teams, was that whoever rescued Sniz and Fondue, would win immunity for their team." Sniz says: "Unfortunately, Tigress got wind of the word, that Johnny Krill had thoughts of betraying her, so she immediately DITCHED her team, and found the Pendant of Life, which would ENSURE her stay as a contestant! She TRICKED Katarra into attacking her, which unexpectedly, led to Katarra causing a tree to fall down on herself. OUCH!!!!" Anti-Cosmo says: "That's not the only thing that--OWWW!!!!" Sniz says: "To add insult to injury, Tigress showed off the Pendant of Life at the elimination ceremony for the Killer Prawns, nullifying ALL the votes sent her way, making Katarra the unexpected loser for the night. Only Bubble Bass avoided Tigress' wrath, by NOT sending a vote Tigress' way. There are only ten contestants left, and any one of them, could be going home next? Who do YOU think it will be, Anti-Cosmo?" Anti-Cosmo says: "I don't know, but find out on today's episode, of Total Cartoon--." (The camera quickly switches to OUTSIDE the cafeteria, we hear a LOUD CRACK!!!!, and a scream!!!!) Anti-Cosmo says: "WOAH!!!! NICOLE SULLIVAN!!!!" /

The intro shows Sniz, Fondue, General Barracuda, and Marlene, are cosplaying as the 1984 line-up of Van Halen, in a shot for shot re-make of Van Halen's 1984 music video, "Jump". / Sniz lip-syncs to David Lee Roth's voice: "I get up, and nothing gets me down. You got it tough, I've seen the toughest all around. And I know, baby, just how you feel. You've got to roll with the punches to get to what's real. Oh, can't you see me standing here? I've got my back against the record machine. I ain't the worst that you've seen. Oh, can't you see what I mean? Might as well jump. Jump! Might as well jump! Go ahead, jump. Jump! Go ahead and jump! Ah-oh, hey you! Who said that? Baby, how you been? You say you don't know, you won't know until you begin. So, can't you see me standing here? I've got my back against the record machine? I ain't the worst that you've seen. Oh, can't you see what I mean? Might as well jump. Jump! Go ahead and jump! Might as well jump. Jump! Go ahead and jump! Jump! (Instrumental solo) Might as well jump. Jump! Go ahead and jump! Get it and jump. Jump! Go ahead and jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!" / And the rocking music video intro ends. / "Living On the Edge!" /

Early morning breaks over the campsite, and while things are mostly tense over at the cabins where the Killer Prawns have to stay at, there is a sense of calm, coming from Bubble Bass' cabin room. Bubble Bass wakes up, and he is in an UNUSUALLY good mood today. Bubble Bass says: "It's weird. But even despite the fact that Tigress now HATES everyone else on our team, and for a pretty good reason to, I somehow feel BETTER about myself than I have in years! I mean, General Barracuda is at least KIND of on my side now, Tigress has no reason to hate me, and no one on my team has any reason to target me. I am in a GOOD spot right now! I don't even REALLY feel sensitive over my body weight and body image anymore. I'm happy with who I am. I feel like the world is my oyster, with a great big pearl right inside it. In fact, I think I'm going to do something that I've never really done before; I'm going to EXERCISE before I take a shower!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass is wearing a towel and he says: "I hope Tigress isn't JUST trolling me, but she said that ALL that GREAT ancient GREEK athletes DID their wrestling...in the NUDE!!!!" (End Confessional) The camera switches to OUTSIDE of Bubble Bass' cabin, and Tigress and Po are taking a SNEAKY peek through the window! Tigress laughs, and she says: "I TOLD you HE'D ACTUALLY DO IT!" Po says: "What a NORK!" Tigress says: "A WHAT?!!!" Po says: "That's my combination word for somebody who's both a NERD and a DORK!" Tigress says: "Fascinating!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "Why did I tell Bubble Bass that historically accurate, but somewhat WEIRD fact? Eh, it amused me!"

(End Confessional) Fee and Johnny Krill, the remaining Killer Prawns, are consulting with each other. Fee says: "Look, Johnny, we absolutely CAN'T blow today's challenge! Tigress is out LOOKING for blood. And if we LOSE today's challenge, ten to ONE, she's just going to FIND another Pendant of Life and eliminate one of us! We HAVE to win! If not for HER, than for US!" Johnny says: "I agree with you there, but HOW are we going to do that? Po's team seems to have a better team dynamic. And neither of us can come even CLOSE to matching Tigress' skills! And Bubble Bass...well, HE sure LUCKED out by NOT trying to betray Tigress. Cause otherwise, HE'D probably be the LOWEST man on the totem pole, metaphorically speaking!" Fee says: "Look, we simply have to AIM for the weakest link in Po's team! And who would THAT be?" Johnny says: "Theodore?" Fee says: "Exactly! Therefore, it is absolutely important that we focus ALL of our attention in TRYING to eliminate Theodore! We do that, the Power Pandas will be DOWN a player, and Tigress will have LESS reason to be angry at us!" Johnny says: "Girl, I LIKE the way you think!" (Confessional) Fee says: "Look, I HAD to come up with a PLAN to SAVE our SORRY butts, OKAY?! Johnny SURE wasn't going to come up with one; and if I talk to TIGRESS about it, she'd just STEAL the plan FROM ME, and try to TAKE ALL the credit for it, like she does EVERYTHING! I may just be ten, but I want MY due respect, and I'm GOING to get it! And Tigress is NOT going to get in the way of that!" / Johnny says: "I sure hope Fee's plan WORKS, because if not, I may have no CHOICE but to vote her off IF we lose. It's nothing personal, but frankly, I just HAVE a better shot of winning than she does! I have more experience and skill! That's why I'm going to outlast her! It's not because she's a woman, it's because she's an obstacle to my goal." (End Confessional)

Jenny and Danny, are holding a seance for the spirits inhabiting Danny's body. Danny says: "Say, Jenny. Are you SURE you know how to DO this?!" Jenny, is painted to look like Jeanie from "I Dream of Jeanie", and Jenny says: "Don't worry. I've seen the movie Poltergeist, and we're dealing with BENEVOLENT spirits here! Not evil ones! This will be a piece of cake; crumb cake!" Jenny stretches out her hands, and the two of them both focus their energies into a crystal ball. Jenny says: "Ancient spirits of the East Wind, lend us your voice, bring OUT the wandering spirits, and show them to our EYES!!!!" Stangely enough, a MINI Storm BREWS right in their hotel room, as dark clouds form, and LIGHTNING strikes the Crystal Ball! From Danny's body, OUT comes the GHOSTLY spirit forms of Rodney Dangerfield, Bette Davis, Marlon Brando, and Steve Irwin! Jenny says: "WOW! I got it right on the FIRST try! Usually, you have to pay EXTRA for that!" Rodney's ghost says: "What am I doing out here? Last thing I remember, I was having a wonderful dream where I ALMOST caught that meddling gopher from Caddyshack again!" Marlon's ghost says: "And I was dreaming that I was dispensing helpful advice to my son, in Superman the Movie again." Steve's ghost says: "And I was dreaming that I was living in a pineapple under the sea...oh, WAIT! I was just dreaming about Spongebob Squarepants again!" Bette says: "And I was dreaming about my times as a character actress, playing a white dwarf starlet in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? REALLY I was." Jenny says: "Attention, spirits! There is a REASON I have summoned you here! I have come to find out the reason why you linger in Danny Fenton! Why do you still roam the Earth? Tell me, and we shall help you find closure, and you may rest in peace!"
Rodney's Ghost says: "Well, I'm here because I'm looking for the RESPECT that I never GOT in life!" Marlon's Ghost says: "I'm here, because I'm looking to prove that I COULDA been a contender!" Steve's Ghost says: "I'm here, because I want to make sure that the wild animals of the world, are still being cared for in their wild habitats!" Bette's Ghost says: "Ordinarily, I'd say something SNARKY about Joan Crawford! But...seeing as how THAT point is rather moot, I'm here because I want one more chance to show the people my amazing talents. REALLY, I do!" Jenny says: "Okay, so, Rodney wants respect; Marlon wants to be a contender, Steve wants to protect the animals of the wild, and Bette wants to use her acting skills. So, if Danny finds a way to help you accomplish these things, will you be able to rest in peace?" Steve's Ghost says: "Crikey! Absolutely!" Danny says: "Well, I can help ONE of you right now! Steve, you have my word that once I'm done as a contestant, I'll return to Casper, and help protect the wild animals, in addition to stopping evil ghosts!" Steve's Ghost says: "You promise?"

Danny says: "Cross my heart, no matter WHAT kind of wild animal it is!" Steve's Ghost says: "Than I feel satisfied. I shall hang up my hat, and continue into the next life. But I'll give you something helpful. Danny, I shall endow you with all the strength and athletics that I had when I was alive, for being SO willing to help me! Remember, the power is YOURS!!!!" And Steve pours his energies into Danny, than disappears completely! Rodney's Ghost says: "Wait, could he SAY, 'The Power is Yours', you know, LEGALLY?" Marlon's Ghost says: "Well, since he OBVIOUSLY wasn't planning to make any money off of it, than, yes." Jenny says: "Well, that's ONE down. The rest of you...I guess you're just going to have to go back into Danny for now. We'll figure out how to help the rest of you later." Bette's Ghost says: "Don't make us wait too long, darling. As they say in Hollywood, 'The Show MUST Go ON'!!!!" And the three ghosts go back into Danny! Danny says: "Steve was RIGHT! I DO feel more athletic and muscular! Though, I can't imagine what the other ghosts could possibly offer me." Than everyone hears the "Pac-Man" arcade start-up music. Jenny says: "We'll worry about that later! I got to quickly scrub this paint off of me, and than we got to worry about this challenge we've got ahead of us!" (Confessional) Jenny has finished scrubbing herself off, and now looks back to normal. Jenny says: "Even though I normally deal with other robots, I was TOTALLY willing to help Danny out, if for no other reason than to restore a sense of normalcy into his life...well, normal as a boy who can turn into a PHANTOM can be, anyways!" / Danny says: "I'll tell you one thing, the Box Ghost, Ember, and all those other ghostly apparitions are going to be in for a BIG surprise when I get back to Casper!" (End Confessional) The contestants arrive in front of the cafeteria. Private says: "I'm so EXCITED for today's challenge!" Kowalski says: "I am to. Statistically, the odds are EVER in our favor, and I do so LOVE playing to the odds--um, NOT that YOU'RE odd...I mean--OH, you KNOW what I mean!"

Marlene comes out, and she says: "Welcome contestants, AND two of my favorite penguins! Today's challenge is a VERY special challenge, dedicated to the competitive sport of, VIDEO GAMES!!!!" Fee sarcastically says: "FINALLY! A challenge that plays to Bubble Bass' ONE GOOD skill area!" Bubble Bass says: "You WISH you were HALF as good at Super Smash Bros. Ultimate as I am!" Marlene says: "Our first part of the challenge is inspired by the maze game! Pac-Man, Ms. Pac-Man, and other maze games like that! The two teams will send four of their best players into the maze, where they will have to find SEVEN different types of fruit; a Cherry, a Strawberry, an Orange, a Peach, an Apple, a Pear, and a Banana! But watch out; there are two MENACING chompers, known as Earl and Spunky from Rocko's Modern Life, patrolling the maze, and if they CHOMP you, you'll have to go BACK to home base WITHOUT your fruits!" Theodore says: "First time I've ever HEARD of 'Chomp', being used in a NEGATIVE matter!" Marlene says: "Each of you counts as a life in this game. So, whoever gets all the fruit FIRST, or, whoever collects the MOST fruit by the end of this part of the challenge, will receive a distinct advantage in the next part of the challenge. Power Pandas, since you have two more members than the Killer Prawns, two of you will have to sit this part of the challenge out." Fee gasps, and she says, with BAD, BAD, ACTING: "Oh, NO! Don't put out Theodore and Danny! HELP us, that you don't send out ANYONE like Theodore and Danny!" Johnny CLEARLY does a frustrated face-palm! (Confessional) Johnny says: "Is THAT the BEST that girl can ACT?!!!" / Fee says: "Apparently, I work much better WITH a script, and NOT trying to ad lib it like I did right there!" (End Confessional) Yet SOMEHOW, Po FALLS for the bluff! Po sarcastically says: "THANKS for the ADVICE, because I AM going to send Theodore and Danny out! Private and Kowalski, you go out to! You'll see that our team is SO superior, even I don't PERSONALLY have to be IN a challenge, just to help our team win it!" And Tigress chuckles with glee! (Confessional) Tigress says: "Fee's plan sure seems to be a long shot one, but its WORKING on my boyfriend! Than again, only HE would fall for something as stilted as THAT performance! But just remember THIS, Fee; if YOUR plan fails, than YOU'LL be the one facing an Elimination Ceremony!" (She pulls out ANOTHER Pendant of Life!) Tigress says: "I found MY winner's insurance behind a tile in the woman's bathroom, DOOFUS!!!!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "Okay, so Po and Jenny will be sitting this part of the challenge out! We'll see what happens WITHIN this part of the challenge! Marlene, you know what to do!" Marlene says: "Players, head to the home base in the middle of the maze!" (They rush to the middle of the maze, but Tigress NOTABLY STOPS at every BLIND CORNER, and takes TIME to make CLAW marks in the side of the maze wall, to let HER team know which way to LOOK!) General Barracuda says: "Release the hounds! Heh-heh, I ALWAYS wanted to SAY that!" And Earl and Spunky are relased from their cages! Marlene says: "On your marks, get set--!" And the "Ms. Pac-Man" start-up music plays! Marlene says: "GO!!!!" (While the contestants are rushing through the maze, the Aerosmith hit song "Living On the Edge" plays).

Steven Tyler sings: "There's something wrong with the world today, I don't know what it is. Something's wrong with our eyes. We're seeing things in a different way, and God knows it ain't his. It sure ain't no surprise. Living on the edge! Living on the edge! Living on the edge! Living on the edge! There's something wrong with the world today, the light bulb's getting dim. There's meltdown in the sky. If you can judge a wise man, by the color of his skin; then mister, you're a better man than I. Living on the edge! You can't help yourself from falling! Living on the edge! You can't help yourself at all! Living on the edge! You can't stop yourself from falling! Living on the edge! Tell me what you think about your sit-u-a-tion. Complication, aggravation is getting to you. If Chicken Little tells you that the sky is falling, even if it wasn't, would you still come crawling back again? I bet you would, my friend. Again & again & again & again & again. (Instrumental solo, during which, Private, Kowalski, Johnny, and Fee all wind up getting chomped by either Earl or Spunky). Tell me what you think about your sit-u-a-tion. Complication, aggravation is getting to you. If Chicken Little tells you that the sky is falling, even if it was, would you still come crawling back again? I bet you would, my friend. Again & again & again & again. Something right with the world today, and everybody knows it's wrong! But we can tell them no, or we could let it go. But I'd would rather be a hanging on! (Silence, drums start back up again) Living on the edge! You can't help yourself from falling! Living on the edge! You can't help yourself at all! Living on the edge! You can't stop yourself from falling! Living on the edge! Living on the edge! Living on the edge! Living on the edge! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Living on the edge! You can't help yourself from falling! Living on the edge! You can't help yourself at all! Living on the edge! You can't stop yourself from falling! Living on the edge! Living on the edge! You can't help yourself! You can't help yourself! Living on the edge! You can't help yourself at all! Living on the edge! You can't help yourself! You can't help yourself! Living on the edge! You can't help yourself! You can't help yourself! Living on the edge! You can't help yourself from falling! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" / And the song ends as BOTH Bubble Bass and Theodore have managed to collect ALL the fruit WITHOUT being chomped! / Marlene says: "Well, this IS a surprise! It looks like WE have a TIE! Both the Power Pandas and the Killer Prawns FINISHED collecting all their fruit at the EXACT same time! It looks like we're have to go to the SECOND portion of our challenge to determine WHO will be today's winner!" Sniz says: "You are certainly right, Marlene! And we will do so, RIGHT after some important messages from our sponsors!" (Commercial Break) /

I'm feeling generous, so I won't make my potential fans wait forever for the second and final part of my latest episode of "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back"! "Living On The Edge" shall continue, right now! / After the commercial break is over, the contestants are looking at a VERY familiar looking building, that is approxiamentally .0125 miles high, but it has no exterior walls, and it's just a bunch of ramps and ladders, some NOT even fully built, connected together, with a large pedastal at the top, obviously to hold someone or SOMETHING very heavy! Tigress asks: "Now what the HECK is THIS thing supposed to be?!" Bubble Bass is aghast, and he asks: "Are you even from this PLANET?!!! Don't you RECOGNIZE a Donkey Kong BUILDING reference when you SEE one?!" Tigress says: "Well, excuse ME for not WASTING half of my life, filling MY brain with POINTLESS trivia about history, pop culture, video games, and stuff!" Bubble Bass says: "The stuff I've filled MY brain with isn't 'Pointless'. Why, just knowing a HANDFUL of the stuff I know, could net you on AVERAGE, about $44,440 a night on 'Jeopardy', depending on the categories and how much you successfully wager on the Daily Doubles and Final Jeopardy of course!" Sniz says: "Bubble Bass is ABSOLUTELY correct, of course! This IS a Donkey Kong building reference, and the second and FINAL part of today's challenge, resides in getting to the top, and rescuing a damsel in distress!" Fee says: "Hold it, I may be a damsel, but there's no WAY that either Tigress or I are going to be in distress!" Sniz says: "Not to worry, you won't HAVE to! That's why we brought in a guest to fill in that position for you. Back for MORE fun and mayhem, here's Lil Deville AND Stimpy!" Lil walks back into view HAPPILY, waving at everyone exuberantly, but Stimpy is nowhere to be seen! Sniz says: "Uh, Marlene, WHERE'S Stimpy? He's supposed to BE here!" Marlene nervously says: "Uh, Stimpy isn't EXACTLY in the BEST of MOODS to come out here right now." Sniz asks: "Why ever not?"

Lil says: "Uh...Ren and Stimpy kind of broke up!" Everyone shockingly says: "WHAT?!!!!" Lil says: "Stimpy HAD to! Ren ALMOST hit Stimpy's kids for NO good reason!!!!" Fee says: "Wow. And I thought that MY parents weren't role models." Stimpy finally appears, and he's looking REALLY down. Stimpy says: "I can't believe Ren could BE so horrid! I thought I had finally changed him! But every time I THINK the relationship is going to work, he just turns TOXIC again! I couldn't take it anymore. So after he nearly hit my kids, he went to take a shower. I told Lil to grab everything of ours that she could, and bolt the HECK out of St. George! I called the cops on Ren, but we didn't stick around to see what they did to him. If they EVER let Ren out of jail, he's no longer ALLOWED in California! As far as I'm concerned, Ren is an UNPERSON to me!" Private says: "But I thought you LOVED him!" Kowalski says: "Precisely. Ren HELPED make your career." Stimpy says: "While both of those things are true; I do LOVE the good times we HAVE together, but even someone like ME has to realize at some point that no matter how MUCH work that I put into the relationship, it's NOT going to work out if Ren just keeps SLIPPING into the SAME toxic masculinity vibes over and over again. The only good thing about breaking up with Ren, for GOOD this time, is that I did it before he COULD do any lasting damage to my kids. My kids deserve to be raised in a BETTER environment than the one that REN was raised in. I did all I could to try to accomodate Ren's behavior; but eventually, you have to know when to fold them. And that's what I did. I left Ren, and I'm never going back again." And inexplicably, the music to Roxette's "Must Have Been Love" begins playing in the background, as a montage of all the good times Ren and Stimpy have together, plays on the screen. /

Roxette sings: "(It must have been love but it's over now). Lay a whisper on my pillow. Leave the winter on the ground. I wake up lonely, there's air of silence. In the bedroom and all around. Touch me now, I close my eyes and dream away. It must have been love but it's over now. It must have been good but I lost it somehow. It must have been love, but it's over now. From the moment we touched, 'til the time had run out. Make-believing we're together. That I'm sheltered by your heart. But in and outside, I've turned to water, like a teardrop in your palm. And it's a hard winter's day, I dream away. It must have been love, but it's over now. It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without. It must have been love, but it's over now! It's where the water flows, it's where the wind blows. (Instrumental Solo) It must have been love, but it's over now! It must have been good, but I lost it somehow. It must have been love, but it's over now! From the moment we touched, 'til the time had run out! Yeah, it must have been love, but it's over now! It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without! It must have been love, but it's over now! It's where the water flows, it's where the wind blows! Yeah! (Must have been love, but it's over now!) (Must have been love, but it's over now!)" / And the song and the montage ends! / Danny says: "Wow! Stimpy broke up with Ren BEFORE he could've broken up with Lil! I did NOT see that coming!" Bubble Bass says: "That is what is commonly referred to as 'Irony'. It's the things we often DON'T expect to happen, that DO end up happening, even if we wish it DIDN'T happen!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Seven years ago, my father went out on a shopping trip for me and my mom. He NEVER came back. We later found out, that through NO fault of his own, he had been CAUGHT by a fisherman's hook. So, I guess maybe the reason why I've occasionally done some not so upright things to Spongebob and Patrick, is because I was jealous that THEY still had their fathers, while I didn't! I'm not saying it was right, because it wasn't. That was just my reason for it."

(End Confessional) Po comforts a still VERY sad Stimpy. Po says: "Don't worry, buddy. You're with REAL friends now! Friends who DON'T have a toxic personality, and won't treat you like dirt at any given time! We'll help you through this, and you'll find out what a TRUE friend looks like!" Stimpy sniffles, and he says: "Thank you, I needed that." Marlene says: "So, are you going to be all right watching Lil participate in this challenge?" Stimpy asks: "It's going to be a safe challenge, right?" General Barracuda says: "If it's NOT a completely safe challenge, than I hope that JUSTIN BIEBER gets STRUCK by lightning!" Anti-Cosmo appears, and poofs up a television, and Juandissimo Magnifico says: "And in related news, Justin Beiber has JUST been STRUCK by LIGHTNING!!!!" General Barracuda yells: "Oh, YEAH?!!! Well, who asked YOU?!!!!" And he GRABS the television and SMASHES it over Anti-Cosmo's head! Anti-Cosmo says: "Okay, maybe that WAS going a little bit TOO far!" Fondue says: "The challenge WILL be safe! I've seen to it!" Lil says: "If Fondue gives his word, than I'm okay with it!" Kowalski asks: "By the way, where ARE your kids right now?" Lil says: "Not to worry, my brother PHIL is taking care of them!" (Gilligan cut) Phil, Stimpy Jr. and Ricky are watching "The Spongebob Squarepants Movie: Sponge Out of Water" on Blu-Ray. Phil says: "FINALLY!!!! After more than THREE seasons of NOT getting any SCREEN-TIME on this series, I FINALLY get a CAMEO!!!! I really GOT to get a better AGENT than the one I have now!" (End Cut) Lil climbs the building, and goes all the way to the top. Sniz says: "So, this challenge, whichever of you chooses to accept it, will revolve around you, climbing to the top of this building, and rescuing Lil Deville." Tigress sarcastically says: "Oh, and here comes the catch." Sniz says: "And here comes the catch! Lil will be guarded by none other, than General Barracuda! Which honestly, isn't much of a STRETCH for him!" General Barracuda laughs, and he says: "What can I say? I know what I'm good at, and I do it really WELL!"

Sniz says: "General Barracuda will be sending an endless magical supply of barrels down at you. You can either jump over the barrels, or break them with a hammer. But there are only two of them located on the structure, so use these hammers wisely! You have only five minutes to get to the top of the building, KNOCK General Barracuda onto the safety cushion below, and save Lil Deville. She claims this is practice for if they EVER do another re-make of King Kong anytime soon, Lil wants to be familiar with the type of experience she might face for her audition! Now, the question remains, which contestants will risk the climb for their team? You have five minutes to decide!" / Theodore goes to Brittany, and he says: "Brittany, that structure is structurally sound, isn't it?" Brittany says: "Of course it is, I designed the blueprints myself, and supervised the construction. Why do you ask?" Theodore says: "Well, I was hoping that I would be able to get the chance to SAVE you, the way I wasn't able to before you got eliminated. But I don't know if I can take on a challenge like that if I don't have you to motivate me." Brittany asks: "Why do you even want to take ON that challenge anyways?" Theodore says: "Isn't it obvious?! I NEED to do something to IMPRESS you! And my team! I know what they think of me! They think I'm a big eater who's a bunch of DEAD weight! But I've seen what Bubble Bass is DOING! He's making a REALLY good effort at proving himself to his team! If he can step up to the plate, than I've GOT to do the same!" Brittany says: "Well, if you're going to INSIST upon doing this, I'll give you a piece of advice. Don't focus on the fact that it's Lil Deville you've got to save. Just pretend it's ME up there, and you should have ALL the motivation that you NEED to win the challenge!" Theodore asks: "Do you REALLY think it will work?" Brittany says: "Perhaps THIS will give you a little incentive!" And she KISSES Theodore on the nose! Brittany says: "Do you believe in yourself now?" Theodore dreamily says: "I do! I do! I truly, really DO!!!!"

(Confessional) Theodore says: "At first, I fell in love with Brittany because she was pretty. But now I know, she has a smart, and a SWEET side to her as well! She TRULY believes in me! So now there's NO WAY I can FAIL the challenge for her NOW!" / Brittany says: "I do have a smart side, and a sweet side! But you know how journalists can get! They are SO obsessed over what you're wearing, how you're wearing it, WHERE you are wearing it, and what is the latest pet that you GOT! They are SO shallow, they don't even want to get to KNOW the REAL you, so, you don't even BOTHER trying to act like you're something deep or sweet, because they're NOT interested in it! But without my entourage around, I feel like I can finally be myself for the first time in a long time. It's nice to do something nice for someone else for a change!" / Fee says: "Brittany is playing into my plan BETTER than I thought! Theodore may have the INCENTIVE to win, but I DOUBT that he has the skills! Respect shall soon be MINE! Nothing personal, Theodore! It's just the nature of the game!" (End Confessional) Theodore says: "I volunteer as tribute...I mean, I volunteer, to play for my team!" Private says: "Are you SURE you want to do this?! You're not exactly the most athletic, you know!" Theodore says: "You don't KNOW what I'm capable of! I'm TIRED of being the guy that everyone takes for granted! I'll PROVE that I've got what it takes!" Kowalski shrugs his shoulders, and he says: "All right, suit yourself." (Confessional) Kowalski says: "Honestly, it would take a REAL miracle for Theodore to pull out a win for us in THIS challenge!" / Private says: "Kowalski and I may only have flippers, but I think that even WE would have a better chance in THIS challenge than Theodore does! But, if Theodore is willing to put HIS game on the line for Brittany, far be it for me and Kowalski to try to stop him." (End Confessional) Sniz says: "It's settled, then! Theodore shall play for the Power Pandas! Now, who will the Killer Prawns, pick?"

Tigress says: "Isn't it OBVIOUS?! I've got this challenge in the bag!" Danny jerks into being Rodney Dangerfield, and he says: "Here we go AGAIN!!!!" Tigress says: "What is THAT supposed to mean?!" Danny jerks into being Bette Davis, and he says: "It means, that just like Joan Crawford, you're running the WHOLE gamut of emotions, from A, to...B!!!!" Tigress says: "Are you saying that I'm the ONLY capable contestant on OUR team?!" Johnny says: "At least she said, 'OUR' team, this time!" Danny jerks into being Marlon Brando, and he says: "That's precisely what I AM saying, and I bet YOUR Pendant of Life, that NO one else on your team can do BETTER than Theodore!" Tigress gasps, and she says: "How did YOU know that I HAD a Pendant of Life?!" Fee says: "BECAUSE you just TOLD us, FATHEAD!!!!" (Confessional) Fee says: "Yeah, I'm probably going to PAY for that comment later, but it was WORTH IT!!!!" / Tigress says: "CURSE my inability to lie! If I could've lied to him, he would NEVER...it MAKES no DIFFERENCE! MY team will STILL beat his!" / Johnny says: "Well, that was a nice 50 seconds of it being 'OUR' team while it lasted." / Danny says: "Tigress' biggest weakness is, that she can't fool ANYONE, and she KNOWS it, to! Lying is BENEATH her, and she WON'T break that taboo, because of her high standards! So, if her team loses, she'll HAVE to use that pendant to save herself. And with it in play again, she'll have to find it again. And it won't be as easy, since the rest of us will be on the lookout for it, as well!" (End Confessional) Tigress says: "I'll SHOW you! MY team is going to win fair and square!" Fee says: "You're...not even TRYING to be subtle about YOUR desire to win anymore, are you?" Johnny asks: "Was she really EVER, though?" Tigress says: "I HEARD that, but just so YOU two believe me, I'll let BUBBLE Bass play for our team!" Bubble Bass asks: "Are you CRAZY?!!!" Tigress says: "Come on! You're a video game expert! This is your field of expertise!" Bubble Bass says: "Physical exercise and me, DON'T really mix well!"

Tigress says: "But we're in an alliance together, which sometimes means DOING things you might not want to do, to help out in a challenge!" Sniz says: "Speaking of challenge, this challenge is BOTH a reward AND an elimination challenge! Two for the PRICE of one! The player who wins THIS part of the challenge, as a reward, will be allowed to have a family member of their choice, join them for the NEXT elimination challenge that we have! It might be VERY helpful to you!" Theodore says: "Oh, I could have SIMON'S brains to help me at last!" Bubble Bass says: "It would be nice to SHOW my mom just how much better I've gotten at being...productive. All right, I'll do it. Not because we're in an alliance, but to show THEM, that I am the King of Kong, and I can say that, because I'm not planning to make any money off of it! The thing of it is, I don't know HOW I'm going to do it." General Barracuda whispers to Bubble Bass, and General Barracuda says: "Hey, come here." Bubble Bass goes over to General Barracuda, and Bubble Bass says: "What do you want?" General Barracuda says: "Look, normally, I don't associate with contestants. Most of the time, I barely even tolerate them. But looking at you, there's something about you that's...different. I mean, it's not just ANYBODY who can knock a tooth out of me, and YOU did it without even TRYING! That takes skills!" Bubble Bass says: "You think I'm SKILLED?! That's the most surprising compliment I have ever heard!" General Barracuda says: "I don't normally do this, but I kind of like you, so I'll make an exception. I'll go EASY on you when you climb to rescue Lil, but you got to do something for ME in return!" Bubble Bass groans, and he says: "Oh, no! What do I have to DO?!!!" General Barracuda says: "You have to star in a shot-for-shot remake of the Robert Palmer music video, 'Addicted to Love', for my OWN personal amusement!" Bubble Bass says: "Oh! Is THAT all I have to do?! For a second, I was worried that you were going to ask me to donate part of my LIVER to you, or something!"

General Barracuda says: "Don't even JOKE about something like that! I'm not even SURE if we would be compatible MATCHES with each other, or not!" Bubble Bass says: "You could always take a blood test or something, and find out!" General Barracuda asks: "Whatever for?! I tried being committed to someone else, and it ended up COSTING my dear Ambrosia her LIFE!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "But Master Coelaceanth is LONG gone now! Surely, you can LOVE again! If I can find somebody to love, surely you can do it, again!" General Barracuda says: "I wouldn't know where to start. I mean, I don't know of ANYBODY else out there, who would want to be with me. Pearl and Craig had to suffer without their REAL father because I trusted the wrong guy. I don't want to see someone like YOU, making the same mistakes I made!" Bubble Bass says: "I highly doubt THAT would happen, I just don't have the physical skills that you do." General Barracuda says: "Don't worry about it. Personally, I think you're FINE the way you are, and don't let ANYBODY tell you different! Now, you go out there, and PROVE to everyone that even the most unlikliest of fish, can become a hero if they want to!" Bubble Bass says: "Don't worry, General Barracuda, I will!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "On the one hand, I'm kind of glad that General Barracuda likes me. On the other hand, I'm a little disappointed. I was kind of hoping he could become a replacement father for me. I could use a positive male influence in my life. After all, if I'm going to be a good husband to Blonda, I could use someone, to show me how it's done! I don't want to BLOW it with Blonda, she may be the only chance I GET with someone!" / General Barracuda says: "Truthfully, I don't think Bubble Bass would understand, but it just wouldn't work! After all, once you've LOST someone like Ambrosia, why would you want to put ANYONE else through the ordeal that Pearl and Craig went through? Even though Master Coelaceanth is gone, there's no WAY I'm going to make THAT mistake again! It's for the good of everybody!" (End Confessional)

Bubble Bass goes back to the other contestants, and he says: "Okay! I volunteer to play for my team!" Sniz says: "It's settled then! Each player will have five minutes to rescue Lil Deville from General Barracuda! General, are you ready?" General Barracuda climbs up the ladders to the tune of the "Donkey Kong" start-up music to the top of the building, and General Barracuda says: "Always!" Sniz says: "Whoever gets to Lil Deville the fastest, will win the challenge for their team. Since the Power Pandas won the last elimination challenge, they shall go first. Theodore, are you ready?" Theodore says: "As ready as I'll ever be!" Marlene says: "Than on your mark, get SET...!" (Blows whistle!) Marlene shouts: "GO!!!!"

During Theodore's attempted climb up the tower, he wields a hammer, but it is HEAVIER than he anticipated, and he can't SWING it very well, and he KEEPS getting knocked DOWN by barrels, all while a FAMILIAR song by The Beatles, plays in the background. Namely, "Maxwell's Silver Hammer". / Paul sings: "Joan was quizzical, studied pataphysical science in the home. Late nights all alone with a test-tube, ohh, oh, oh, oh. Maxwell Edison majoring in medicine, calls her on the phone. Can I take you out to the pictures, Joan? But as she's getting ready to go, a knock comes on the door. Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer came down on her head. Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer made sure she was dead. Back in school again, Maxwell plays the fool again. Teacher gets annoyed. Wishing to avoid an unpleasant scene, she tells Max to stay when the class has gone away, so he waits behind. Writing 50 times 'I must not be so', oh, oh, oh. But when she turns her back on the boy. He creeps up from behind. Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer came down on her head. Do, do, do, do, do. Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer made sure that she was dead! Woah, oh! (Moog Synthesizer solo) P.C. Thirty-One, said 'We caught a dirty one', Maxwell stands alone. Painting testimonial pictures; ohh, oh, oh, oh. Rose and Valerie screaming from the gallery, say he must go free. The judge does not agree and he tells them so; oh, oh, oh. But as the words were leaving his lips, a noise comes from behind. Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer came down on his head. Do, do, do, do, do. Bang, Bang, Maxwell's silver hammer made sure he was dead. Wow, wow, wow, oh! (Moog Synthesizer solo) Do, do, do, do, do. Silver hammer!" / And the song ends as time runs out for Theodore, with him having BARELY gotten even half-way up the building! Sniz says: "Time is up! Theodore was unable to rescue Lil! So now, Bubble Bass will have a chance to prove himself! If he doesn't rescue Lil, we will simply go to a tie-breaker question to determine the winner. Hopefully, it won't have to come to that. Bubble Bass, are you ready?" Bubble Bass says: "Practically BORN that way!" Marlene says: "Than on your mark, get set...!" (Blows whistle!) Marlene shouts: "Go!" Bubble Bass ALSO makes his way up the tower with a hammer. Yet surprisingly, he finds LITTLE difficulty holding his hammer, and is able to swing it QUITE proficiently! And he makes his way up the tower, all to the familiar tune of the M.C. Hammer song, "Can't Touch This." /

M.C. Hammer sings: "You can't touch this. You can't touch this. You can't touch this. You can't touch this. You can't touch this. My, my, my, my music hits me so hard! Makes me say, 'Oh, my Lord; thank you for blessing me with a mind to rhyme and two hype feet.' It feels good, when you know you're down. A super dope homeboy from the Oaktown. And I'm known as such. And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch! I told you homeboy, you can't touch this. Yeah, that's how we living and you know you can't touch this! Look in my eyes, man, you can't touch this! Yo, let me bust the funky lyrics, you can't touch this! Fresh new kicks, and pants! You gotta like that, now you know you wanna dance! So move, outta your seat, and get a fly girl and catch this beat! While it's rolling, hold on! Pump a little bit and let 'em know it's going on! Like that, like that! Cold on a mission so fall on back! Let 'em know, that you're too much! And this is a beat, uh, they can't touch! Yo, I told you; you can't touch this! Why you standing there, man? You can't touch this! Yo, sound the bell, school is in sucker, you can't touch this! Give me a song, or rhythm. Make 'em sweat, that's what I'm giving 'em now, they know; you talking about the Hammer you talking about a show. That's hyped, and tight! Singers are sweating so pass them a wipe. Or a tape, to learn, what's it gonna take in the 90s to burn. The charts? Legit! Either work hard or you might as well quit! That's word because you know...You can't touch this! You can't touch this. You can't touch this. Break it down! (Instumental Solo) Stop! Hammer time! Go with the flow, it is said; if you can't groove to this then you probably are dead! So wave your hands in the air. Bust a few moves, run your fingers through your hair! This is it, for a winner. Dance to this and you're gonna get thinner! Move, slide your rump! Just for a minute let's all do the bump, bump, bump, bump! Yeah...you can't touch this! Look, man, you can't touch this! You better get hype, boy, because you know you can't, you can't touch this! Ring the bell, school's back in. Break it down! (Instrumental Solo) Stop! Hammer time! You can't touch this. You can't touch this. You can't touch this. You can't touch this. Break it down! (Instrumental Solo) Stop! Hammer time! Every time you see me, the Hammer's just so hype! I'm dope on the floor and I'm magic on the mike. Now why would I ever stop doing this? With others making records that just don't hit. I've toured around the world, from London to the Bay. It's 'Hammer, go Hammer, MC Hammer, yo Hammer' and the rest can go and play! You can't touch this. You can't touch this. You can't touch this. Yeah, you can't touch this. I told you; you can't touch this! Too hype! Can't touch this! Yeah, we outta here! Can't touch this!" /

And the song ends as Bubble Bass KNOCKS General Barracuda off the tower onto the safety cushion, saving Lil Deville with seconds to spare! Sniz says: "And it's over! It's all over! The Killer Prawns have won the challenge!" Tigress says: "Too bad for YOU, Danny Fenton, looks like I will be KEEPING my Pendant!" Danny says: "For now, at least!" Sniz says: "Bubble Bass, since you have won the challenge, you get to choose for your reward, which family member you want to have visit you during the next challenge." Bubble Bass says: "Well, unless I invite my mother, I won't be able to invite ANYBODY. So it HAS to be her!" Sniz says: "Very well, then! Fondue will get her travel accomodations ready, and she will be here in time for the next challenge!"

Stimpy says: "Thank you, Bubble Bass, for rescuing Lil." Bubble Bass says: "Don't mention it. And I know, it's not easy to lose someone the way you did. But eventually, you have to reach 'Acceptance' in the Five Stages of Grief, and move on." Stimpy says: "Don't worry, I will!" General Barracuda says: "Bubble Bass, don't forget YOUR end of the bargain!" Bubble Bass says: "I know! I'm coming!" Sniz turns to the Power Pandas, and Sniz says: "Power Pandas, what can I say? Today was NOT your best challenge performance! Tonight, you'll decide which one of you will take the dreaded Slingshot of Shame!" (Confessioanl) Theodore sighs, and he says: "This is it! THIS IS IT!!!! My stay as a contestant is OVER!!!! I let Brittany down! I let my family down! I let my TEAM down! But worst of all, I let myself down! No WONDER they didn't pick Alvin for this! He would've had a MELTDOWN if he failed the way I have!" / Private says: "Ordianarily, I would say it was all over except the shouting. However, I refuse to say anything, lest fate should prove otherwise. Foresight, it's a handy thing to have in a game like this." / Po says: "I can't BELIEVE I fell for such a STUPID ploy! Tigress would have NEVER fallen for such a STUPID stunt like that! But I can't let this get me down! I have to LEARN from my experience, and grow as a BETTER leader for it! My team deserves NOTHING less than my absolute best!" (End Confessional) It is night-time, and the Power Pandas are at the campfire! Sniz says: "Welcome back to the Elimination Ceremony. You know the drill. Choose which contestant you want to vote off, and we'll let the votes speak for themselves!"

(Confessional) Po puts an X over Theodore's card! Po says: "Technically speaking, it IS your fault that we are here tonight! Nothing personal, you understand!" / Jenny puts an X over Theodore's card. Jenny says: "Sorry! You're nice, but nice isn't enough to help us win in challenges! You have to go!" / Private puts an X over Theodore's card. Private says: "I'm just glad that Kowalski and I aren't on the chopping block tonight!" / Kowalski puts an X over Theodore's card. Kowalski says: "Thank you for making tonight's decision SO easy for us!" / Danny looks nervously at the cards. Danny says: "I feel SO guilty for making that STUPID bet with Tigress! That was really LOUSY of me! But if I don't vote off Theodore, I won't have a chance to prove myself as a contender, or win any respect! I have no choice!" And he puts an X over Theodore's card. Danny says: "Sorry, man!" / Theodore sighs and says: "It's probably a moot point, but I have to vote for Danny for making that STUPID bet with Tigress!" And Theodore puts an X over Danny's card. Theodore says: "I've done all I can do!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Voting is over, it's time to reveal, who gets the safe marshmallows tonight! Po! Jenny, Private, Kowalski!" Danny and Theodore both stare nervously, knowing that only ONE of them will emerge victorious! Sniz says: "Contestants, this is the FINAL safe marshmallow for the evening. And it goes to...DANNY!!!!" Brittany says: "DUCK, THEODORE!!!!" Theodore quickly does so, and the Anti-Fairy Marshmallow goes SAILING over his head, and inexplicably HITS Anti-Cosmo with an ELECTRICAL surge!!!! Anti-Cosmo says: "YOW!!!! I haven't felt THAT electric since the last time I went to an AC/DC concert!" Sniz says: "Theodore, your team has spoken! Pack up your bags and leave!" /

Theodore has his stuff ready, and is about to get equipped for his ride on the Slingshot of Shame. Brittany comes running up, and she says: "Theodore, wait!" Theodore sighs, and says: "I know. You're here because you want to break up with me for failing you. Go ahead, I deserve it." Brittany says: "Actually, I wanted to say I'M sorry! It's all MY fault you're leaving tonight! If I hadn't have convinced you to compete for your team, you probably wouldn't be IN this predicament right now!" Theodore says: "It's not, entirely your fault. You had no way of knowing that General Barracuda was THAT good at rolling barrels!" Brittany says: "I know. I'm just sorry that you have to leave because of that." Theodore says: "It's all right. At least I lasted longer than I thought I would." Brittany says: "And if it's any consolation, we'll be together after the season is over." Theodore says: "Thank you, Brittany. That means a lot to me." And Brittany gives Theodore another kiss on the nose. Theodore puts his safety gear on, and gets in the slingshot. Theodore says: "Good luck, you guys! The game's not over yet!" General Barracuda says: "It is for YOU, though!" And he activates the slingshot! Theodore is launched, and he screams: "BYE!!!!" Sniz says: "Five down, and nine to go! The competition is heating up, and the margin for error is growing slimmer all the time! The next challenge promises to be more exciting and more thrilling than the last! Anything can happen on the next episode of, 'Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!' I SO rock this show!" / Epilogue: Bubble Bass is dressed up like Robert Palmer, and is surrounded by Pearl, Sandy, Mrs. Puff, Karen, and Girly Teengirl, who are all done up in Kabuki make-up and black clothes, as they play back-up music for Bubble Bass, as Bubble Bass sings, "Addicted to Love," in a shot for shot re-make of the same music video that Robert Palmer did! /

Bubble Bass sings: "Your lights are on, but you're not home. Your mind is not your own. Your heart sweats, your body shakes. Another kiss is what it takes. You can't sleep, No! You can't eat. There's no doubt, you're in deep. Your throat is tight, you can't breathe! Another kiss is all you need! Ohh, oohh! You like to think that you're immune to the stuff...oh, yeah! It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough! You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to love! You see the signs, but you can't read! You're runnin' at a different speed. Your heart beats in double time! Another kiss and you'll be mine! A one track mind! You can't be saved! Oblivion is all you crave! If there's some left for you, you don't mind if you do. Ohh, oohh. You like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah! It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough! You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! (Instrumental Solo) Your lights are on, but you're not home! Your will is not your own! Your heart sweats, and teeth grind. Another kiss, and you'll be mine! Ohh, oohh! You like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah! It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough! You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love!" / And General Barracuda shouts: "CUT!!!! That's a wrap!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Thank goodness for THAT!!!!" And just as Bubble Bass says that, the Tight clothes he is wearing can no longer STAND the strain of being ON him, and RIP OFF, and the pieces fly in every single direction! The girls get a look at the EYE Candy, and wolf-whistle! Bubble Bass nervously says: "Uh, I HOPE you're NOT going to need YOUR old high school prom dance outfit back, like, EVER!!!!" /

Episode Notes: Featured songs in this episode include "Jump; Living On the Edge; Must Have Been Love; Maxwell's Silver Hammer; U Can't Touch This;" and "Addicted to Love". Stimpy and Lil guest star in this episode, and it's found out that Stimpy has officially broken up with Ren for good, due to the latter's toxic masculinity, and for once THREATENING to hit Stimpy's children. Danny gains Steve Irwin's abilities in this episode, for promising to take care of the wild animals for him. Video game references include "Pac-Man; Ms. Pac-Man;" and the original "Donkey Kong". Theodore is eliminated in this episode, thus eliminating all the representatives of "Alvinnnn!!!! And the Chipmunks" from this show! Eliminated Contestants: 14. Bessie Higgenbottom ("The Mighty B!") 13. Brittany Miller ("Alvinnnn!!!! And the Chipmunks") 12. Rico ("The Penguins of Madagascar") 11. Katarra ("Avatar: The Last Airbender") 10. Theodore Seville (Alvinnnn!!!! And the Chipmunks"). Remaining contestants: Bubble Bass (Killer Prawn), Danny Fenton (Power Panda), Fee (Killer Prawn), Jenny Wakeman (Power Panda), Johnny Krill (Killer Prawn), Kowalski (Power Panda), Po (Power Panda), Private (Power Panda), and Tigress (Killer Prawn). /
Personal Notes: The reason why I wrote Stimpy breaking up with Ren, is due to the fact that I found out the TRUE nature of what their creator was like, and how far LOW down he truly was as a person! Since I don't even want to DIGNIFY him by saying his name, let's just say that since he DID voice Ren, it really wasn't that much of a stretch, to transfer what he did, to Ren's character. Even though "Ren and Stimpy" did a lot to help shape the cartoon industry today, I can't ignore what their creator has become, and what he has done to people. That's why I HAD to have Stimpy realize the kind of character Ren truly was! Eventually, even if you WANT a realtionship to work, it's only GOING to work if the other person wants it to work in a healthy, responsible matter. And sometimes, you have to realize that sometimes, a relationship isn't going to work out EVEN if you wanted it to, and that it's better to cut your losses sooner, than keep waiting around and let the toxic influence keep poisoning you AND any family you might have! At least Stimpy still has Lil to care for him. As for Theodore, he really had no point left to contribute to this season, so he had to be the next one on the chopping block. I hope you enjoyed reading this episode, as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

Spoiler

(Warning: Walls of Text Ahead)

(Cold Open):

The show opens up on Samson and Patsy, now the Red and Pink Thunder Rangers respectively, beginning to fight against Fruit Freak! Fruit Freak says: “Power Rangers you may be, but you will NEVER defeat me!”

Samson scoffs, and he says: “You're kidding, right? Do you have ANY idea of the kinds of things I USED to have to endure at Camp Kidney before BlackHawk came along? THIS is a picnic!”

Patsy says: “Speaking of, it's time to blend you up good! Hi-ya!”

And she throws a good punch at Fruit Freak, and hits it in its mango chest, but her fist, and arm begin SINKING into it! Patsy says: “Samson, help me! It's pulling me IN!!!!”

Fruit Freak says: “You're not going to devour ME! I'm going to devour YOU!!!!”

Samson gets REALLY angry, and he says: “Devour THIS!!!!”

And his fist UNEXPECTEDLY powers up with fire, and he punches it at Fruit Freak! The shock is enough, that she releases Patsy, and Fruit Freak now has char marks on her pineapple face! Fruit Freak says: “YOW! That hurt, you JERK!”

Patsy says: “Thanks, Samson!”

Samson says: “Wow. Did I do THAT?!”

On Samson's communicator, Omnus says: “You'll learn how to do MORE than that, in time. My name is Omnus, a mentor of the Power Rangers. Samson, as the Red Thunder Ranger, you will have a mastery over fire, Patsy, you will have a mastery over wind. Master your special powers, utilize your special weapons, and no monster will be able to defeat you.”

Patsy says: “That's good to hear, but how DO we access our weapons?”

Omnus says: “Simply put out your hands, concentrate your Aura power, and say, 'Activate, Thunder Weapons'!” /

Samson and Patsy both simultaneously say: “Activate, Thunder Weapons!”

In Patsy's arms, she gets a pretty, Phoenix Spear! And to Samson's surprise, he gets TWO Red Dragon Swords!

Patsy says: “Wait a minute, how come YOU got two weapons?!”

Samson giggles sheepishly, and he says: “I SWEAR, I'm NOT even TRYING! Besides, barring some unforeseen circumstance, you're ALWAYS going to have one more battle of experience than me!”

Patsy thinks about it, and she says: “True enough.”

Than suddenly, Krash'ir, and two streaks of green and yellow appear beside them. Samson asks: “More new Rangers?”

Krash'ir says: “I'll make the introductions brief. Green Thunder Ranger is Coop; Yellow Thunder Ranger is D.O.G., Red Thunder Ranger is Samson, and Pink Thunder Ranger is Patsy.”

Patsy says: “Come on! Why did you introduce me LAST?! I've had more Ranger experience than THEM, you know!”

Krash'ir says: “Yeah, by ONE battle, same as ME! Although, for the life of me, I can't REMEMBER who it was that I replaced. It's like a great big BLUR that wasn't there.”

Coop says: “We can argue about semantics later. For now, let's focus on the action at hand!”

Samson asks: “Do you two know how to access your Thunder Weapons?”

Coop says: “I happen to be a professional Aura user, as a Woo Foo Warrior.”

D.O.G., says: “And I've been studying with Adam, I'm ready for this!”

Coop and D.O.G., simultaneously say: “Activate Thunder Weapons!”

In Coop's arms, he gets a Green Lion Staff, and in D.O.G.'s arms, he gets a Cat of Nine Tails whip! D.O.G., says: “Weird. I was trying to summon a Morning Star whip! But then again, to paraphrase an old saying; 'Nine IS better than one'!”

Omnus talks on their communicators, and he says: “That's not all you can do. Coop, you have the ability to create Aura illusions, to fool your opponents. D.O.G., you can slow down time for the monsters, or speed up your own if necessary, in order to throw your opponent's timing off! And Krash'ir, you have the ability to master gravity. And I think you will like the weapon YOU summon!”

Krash'ir says: “All right, let's try it! Activate Thunder Weapon!”

And in her arms, she receives a pair of Blue Kirin Nunchuks! Fruit Freak mockingly says: “Ooh, how scary! Beware of the Jump Rope!”

And without even batting an eye, Krash'ir, THROWS her Nunchuks' at Fruit Freak, knocking her up and down in a frenzy of gravitational energy! Krash'ir than puts Fruit Freak down, and asks: “Well, how does it feel to have your BUTT handed to you by a mere 'Jump Rope'?”

Omnus speaks on their communicators, and says: “And when you all need the fire-power to finish them off, channel your Aura's to bring forth the Mighty Morphing Power Rangers' Thunder Cannon! I even had it modified, so that you can charge it and fire it faster! And of course, if the monster should grow, call forth the Thunder Zords! I took the liberty of modifying them, so that they no longer need parts from the Dino Zords in order to operate, as well as modifying their interiors and controls, in order to make them more battle efficient!”

Coop says: “You're the best, Omnus! Let's get ready for the REAL battle now, Rangers! Fruit Freak may not be an especially powerful monster, but it's STILL dangerous, just the same! I just hope wherever the OTHER Power Rangers are, they're handling THEIR battle as well as we do!” /

State of Shock: Part II

Captain Retro narrates, and he says: “Previously, on Power Rangers Multiverse Force; Dr. Maniac crossed the Moral Event Horizon, by capturing Mettaton, and kidnapping Alphys, to hold as as hostage. Omnus decided that Dr. Maniac could no longer get away with his scientific crimes, and henceforth, called on the help of seven Legendary Rangers, to help in our fight against Dr. Maniac. With the help of Sans, we have journeyed to Planet Onyx, where Dr. Maniac has rebuilt his original fortress from his battles against the Power Rangers Bionic Force. As we have no choice but to fight through, we're now staring down the gauntlet, of what might be Dr. Maniac's greatest threat ever, in order to stop the evil doctor once and for all!”

Words appear on the screen, and they say: “Now, Present Day, the second to last Tuesday of 2178, Planet Onyx, Dr. Maniac's Fortress.”

The action first focuses in on Billy and StarHawk, walking down their corridor. StarHawk says: “This place is SO creepy, it puts some of the DARKER places on Planet Hawkia to shame!”

Billy says: “Not to mention that Dr. Maniac is a MAJOR fan of pressure based traps! That's why we got to keep a sharp eye out for those things!”

StarHawk says: “Or, using my ability to fly, I could simply CARRY you until we reach whichever monster we end up facing!”

Billy says: “Come on! It can't be THAT simple!” / (Gilligan Cut)

StarHawk is carrying Billy through the air, and StarHawk says: “It's THAT simple!”

Billy says: “I'm jealous! If we had someone like YOU around during some of our more intensive battles, they probably wouldn't have been so intensive!”

StarHawk says: “Save the compliments for later. I see a large room ahead. I'm going to put you down. I have a feeling we're about to encounter--.”

But she barely has time to throw Billy to the ground and AVOID getting blasted, as a menacing machine with an IMMENSE ray of blasters appears! The machine mechanically says: “I am Blast Bot. I hope you have enjoyed fighting battles against Dr. Maniac's creations, for this will be your LAST time!”

Billy asks: “Where did Dr. Maniac find YOU? The discount section of the Dollar Store in 1985?!”

StarHawk says: “It's a waste of time to question it. From my personal experiences, most robots do no UNDERSTAND, nor do they enjoy the concept of sarcasm as WE do!”

And as IF to prove her point, Blast Bot fires a BUNCH of blasts at Billy, who THANFULLY deflects them all with his Power Lance! Billy says: “I see your point! Blast Bot, you're going to have to do a LOT better than that! This Power Lance may be old school, but it STILL gets the job done! StarHawk, give me some cover fire with your Aura Attacks, and draw it's long-distance attacks towards you! I have a feeling this machine isn't built for close-range attacks!”

StarHawk says: “Agreed! Blast Bot, have a taste of my Shooting Stars!”

And as StarHawk begins to pepper Blast Bot with her yellow burst of energy stars, Billy closes in on Blast Bot, and begins hacking at Blast Bot, who is unable to focus on BOTH of them at the same time! Billy says: “You're about to get a lesson on what the power of team-work can do!” /

Meanwhile, the passageway Tommy and Usagi are walking down, looks more like a cave. Tommy says: “Something about this cave doesn't seem right to me.”

Usagi says: “I'm inclined to agree with you. Usually, Dr. Maniac is all ABOUT technology! This cave doesn't scream that at all!”

Tommy says: “Do you think he has something SPECIAL planned for us?” (CLICK!!!!)

And just like that, they hear the unmistakable sound of a GIGANTIC boulder rolling TOWARDS them! Usagi says: “RUN!!!!”

They run forward (it's the only way they CAN go, as the boulder and the dimensions of the cave, prevent them from even TRYING to go above the boulder or into a side cranny). Tommy looks ahead, and he says: “There's a giant PIT ahead! We'll never be able to jump over it!”

Usagi says: “Than I've got to BLAST the boulder! Aura Blast ATTACK!!!!”

And she shoots out a HUGE burst of white energy! She destroys the boulder, only to free FROM it, the undeniable image and appearance, of Scorpina! Tommy says: “SCORPINA?!!! It CAN'T be! We DESTROYED you!”

Scorpina says: “A minor fluke, I assure you! But it seems that Dr. Maniac was not the kind of scientist, who thought that I should STAY dead! During his travels, he went to the place where I fell in battle. Using his scientific prowess, he collected samples of my D.N.A., and was eventually managed to not only REVIVE me, but also strengthen my ALREADY impressive arsenal of poison attacks! I agreed to help him in exchange for one simple favor. That after I finally FINISH my battle with you, he would send me BACK in time to 1999, in order to train and study under the guidance of LOKAR! I'm SURE you remember HIM! He will train me to become a much more powerful and EVIL sorceress, than Rita Repulsa could have EVER become! And once I'm strong enough, if I don't finish you HERE, I'll finish you in the year 2028! And I'll ALSO make sure to eliminate your WIFE Kat, and your PRECIOUS son, J.J.!”

Tommy says: “You can target ME if you want to, but leave my WIFE and son OUT of this! Neither of THEM have any quarrel with you!”

Scorpina says: “Maybe so, but this is what I would like to recall, 'Revenge by Proxy'. If there's anyone CLOSE to you, they are AUTOMATICALLY a target for MY anger!”

Tommy says: “Usagi, bring out your strongest weapon! We'll take down Scorpina together!”

Scorpina says: “Oh, did I forget to mention? Dr. Maniac has camera monitors all OVER his fortress! My fight is to be with YOU Tommy, and YOU alone! If Usagi TRIES to interfere, the camera monitors will TRIGGER hidden blast panels in this cave, which will BLAST Usagi with THOUSANDS of BULLET holes, that even her Ranger Suit CAN'T protect her against! And DON'T think that I'm bluffing! After all, you KNOW how MUCH Dr. Maniac WANTS at least ONE of you dead!”

Usagi says: “I know you're not bluffing, but you're NOT leaving this fight, either!”

She runs behind Scorpina, and BLOCKS Scorpina from the CHANCE of trying to retreat! Usagi says: “You want a fight with Tommy? You've GOT it! And you're going to FINISH it to the bitter end!”

Tommy pulls out Saba, and he says: “Thank you, Usagi! Well, Saba, it's time to fight against Scorpina! You'll learn first hand what a FULLY energized White Ranger can do!” /

Meanwhile, Adam & Lettuce, are walking down a hallway FILLED with statues of little tanks! Lettuce says: “MAN, this guy has a SERIOUS crush on machines!”

Adam says: “Not nearly as bad as the Machine Empire robots, though. Those creeps actually WERE machines!”

Lettuce says: “And worst of it, this guy wants to be LIKE them! Can't he think of something MORE original?!” (CLICK!)

Than suddenly, the tank statues start WHIRRING, shake off their Marble coverings, and REVEAL their REAL tank nature! Adam says: “Those tanks are REAL!!!!”

Lettuce says: “Smash them all! Let's teach Dr. Maniac a LESSON!!!!”

So Adam & Lettuce bust out their weapons, and taking care to avoid the blasts that the Tanks are making, manage to SMASH all the Tanks into pieces, so they can't cause anymore damage! After they are done, Adam says: “Weird. That felt a little TOO easy!”

Lettuce says: “Agreed. I think that was only an APPETIZER for what's about to come next!”

And sure enough, the hallway opens up into a LARGE, circular room, and they hear the unmistakable WHIRRING of a rather LARGE tank, but they can't SEE anything! Than suddenly, a muscular voice says: “You've destroyed my little BROTHERS! How DARE you anger me?! I'll teach you some RESPECT for your mechanical superiors!”

Adam asks: “Who said that?!”

The voice says: “Having trouble FINDING me?! No surprise; I'm Transparent Tank; a rather BRILLIANT, sentient machine that Dr. Maniac decided to create! But HOW are you going to fight me?! That's the BEAUTY of it, you WON'T! After all, you can't FIGHT what you CAN'T see! You are FINISHED Power Rangers! You hear me, FINISHED!”

Lettuce says: “You don't KNOW us very well, do you?! Well, Adam, it's time to put that Aura Training of yours to GOOD use! Green Color BLAST!!!!”

And shooting out a LARGE burst of green energy color from his hands, Lettuce FILLS the room with green color, and it ends up SPLATTERING all over Transparent Tank, revealing him as a muscular, humanoid Tank Robot! Transparent Tank says: “YOU'RE despicable!”

Letttuce asks: “Ain't I a stinker? All right, Adam. Let's fight this guy together! We'll show him the TRUE power of a Green Ranger!”

Adam says: “Right!” /

Meanwhile Sans and Captain Retro, are running down through their corridor, until it SOMEHOW morphs into the image of a lush, green jungle! Sans says: “Hold the phone! What IS this place?”

Captain Retro says: “Technically speaking, I don't think this IS a place! Watch!”

Captain Retro tries to put one of his hands on a tree, but it passes THROUGH, and the image whirs electronically! Captain Retro says: “Just as I thought, an elaborate hologram!”

Than they both hear a SINISTER buzzing, and Captain Retro's eyes IMMEDIATELY blanch with white, Anime fear! Captain Retro says: “Not BEES! Why did it HAVE to be BEES?!”

Sans angrily says: “And Dr. Maniac's EVIL Robot Bee Drones, at THAT!!!! You Bees, you want to see what TRUE power looks LIKE?!!!”

Captain Retro turns around and looks, and Sans FIRES out an INSANE amount of energy attacks from his skeleton hands; MORE than even HE could possibly hope to count, and Sans quickly and efficiently BLASTS every single Bee Drone apart! Captain Retro's mouth is agape, and he says: “WOW! That was SCARY good! No wonder Chara calls you 'That ONE Boss'. Have you ever thought about auditioning to become 'Rambo', or something like that?”

Than suddenly, Bionic Gorilla rushes in, and puts his two arms on the ground HARD! Bionic Gorilla says: “Sans MAY have blasted all those robot bees, but you WON'T blast me!”

Sans asks: “And what makes you think that I won't?!”

Bionic Gorilla says: “Ask Captain Retro, HE knows!”

Sans asks: “What do you KNOW, Captain Retro?”

Captain Retro sighs, and says: “I know that you CAN'T fight Bionic Gorilla, because unlike Dr. Maniac, he hasn't gone DOWN a 'True Genocide Path'. He's 'True Neutral'!”

Sans says: “But that means...!”

Bionic Gorilla says: “You cannot USE your powers against me. My fight is with Captain Retro alone. Let's see how well you do WITHOUT Pinkie Pie to back you up!”

Captain Retro says: “Please, Bionic Gorilla. Look at yourself! You are MORE than what Dr. Maniac SAYS you are! You don't HAVE to fight for him!”

Bionic Gorilla says: “Dr. Maniac saved MY life when nobody ELSE would have! He's MY master, right or wrong!”

Captain Retro says: “I KNOW that your past wasn't a REALLY happy one, but that doesn't mean your present OR your future has to be miserable as well.”

Bionic Gorilla says: “Dr. Maniac RESCUED me! I OWE him MY life!”

Captain Retro says: “Bionic Gorilla...or should I say; Windsor T. Gorilla?!!!”

This stops Bionic Gorilla DEAD in his tracks, and he tries to fight back tears, as he says: “No one...has called me that...since, BEFORE, the accident.”

Captain Retro says: “You're not LIKE Dr. Maniac; you're NOT evil! But Dr. Maniac IS! He's just USING you to further his evil ends, and using you to make MORE creatures like you be as MISERABLE and evil as Dr. Maniac is. Don't LET Dr. Maniac DO that to you! Break the cycle of hate, Dr. Maniac doesn't have power over you, only YOU do! And it's up to YOU to decide, whether you're GOING to let Dr. Maniac have his WAY with you, or if you want to make YOUR future BE what you WANT it to be! You can't TRUST Dr. Maniac! Once HE gets what HE wants, he'll DISPOSE of you, and YOU know it, to!”

Bionic Gorilla says: “I want to break free, but I don't know if I can!” /

Unbeknownst to Bionic Gorilla, Dr. Maniac is MONITORING the action on one of his monitor camera! Dr. Maniac yells: “WHY ISN'T HE TURNING them into Mulan Szechuan McNugget Sauce?! If you WANT something done RIGHT, you've got to DO it, yourself!”

And Dr. Maniac pushes a BIG red button labeled: “KILL THEM ALL!” And a BUNCH of Machine Gun cannons EMERGE from hidden panels in the holographic trees and rocks!

Captain Retro quickly says: “Retro Shield Barrier!!!!”

And he THROWS a BIG, gigantic shield barrier around himself, Sans, AND Bionic Gorilla! To Bionic Gorilla's SHOCK, the bullets were even coming in HIS direction, but are instead, harmlessly absorbed by Captain Retro's shield barrier, as each machine gun cannon fires a THOUSAND rounds before exhausting themselves! Bionic Gorilla looks in shock as Captain Retro dissipates his energy barrier. Bionic Gorilla says: “Dr. Maniac was willing to let ME die, just so he could KILL you!”

Sans says: “It's like Captain Retro SAID; Dr. Maniac is a TRUE Genocide nut! That MEANS he's WILLING to KILL EVERY THING! No matter WHAT their loyalty status, is!”

Bionic Gorilla says: “You've saved me. I owe you my life. What do you want me to do to repay you, Captain Retro?”

Captain Retro says: “You DON'T owe me anything! As of now, I'm releasing you from your life debt. You're now free to make your OWN choices, the way you were MEANT to!”

Bionic Gorilla says: “Than, I CHOOSE to fight with YOU guys! I choose to fight on the side of the Power Rangers, and the forces of good!”

Captain Retro says: “Glad to have you along, Bionic...I mean, Windsor! We could use all the help we can get! Just one thing, why don't you get RID of that Voice Box that Dr. Maniac FORCED you to wear? That mechanical sound is just NOT you!”

Bionic Gorilla takes OFF the 1980's Voice Box Technology around his neck, tosses it on the ground, and SMASHES it into oblivion for good measure! With a normal voice, he says: “I feel FREE again. It feels GOOD to have control over my own life again! I may not be able to get rid of my OTHER Bionic enhancements, but I think that I CAN use them to my advantage! One good turn deserves another! The password you need from this room, is the number, '4'!”

Sans asks: “Just, '4'?”

Captain Retro says: “I guess Dr. Maniac never thought we WOULD make it past Windsor, or that Windsor would HAVE a change of heart!”

Windsor says: “You're right. Even so, you're not OUT of the woods yet, LITERALLY! I'll take the lead, and I'll help you AVOID all the other traps Dr. Maniac set out for you!”

Sans asks: “How are you going to do that?”

Windsor says: “My circuits are STILL tapped into Dr. Maniac's central computer. And since he can't HEAR what we're saying, he WON'T be able to hear my plan! Since I'm now on YOUR side, he CAN'T over-ride my free will, but I CAN over-ride the REST of his trap systems! Unfortunately, I can't do anything about the monsters, but it will STILL be a big help to you guys!”

Captain Retro says: “Thanks, Windsor! I'm sure you'll be great at WHATEVER you decide to do, once we get out of here!”

Windsor pushes some buttons on his bionic arms, taps into Dr. Maniac's computer system, and sends out an electronic signal, which JAMS Dr. Maniac's trap mechanism, shuts down ALL holographic projections, and even shuts down Dr. Maniac's main computer for good measure! /

In Dr. Maniac's control room, Dr. Maniac says: “Why have ALL my main computer programs have gone off-line?! Diagnostics, give me a reading!”

Dr. Maniac pushes EVERYTHING electronic, and ALL the monitors will display, is an electronic reading, that simply reads the words: “Out of Order”.

Dr. Maniac says: “OUT OF ORDER?!!! ERRRR...even in the FUTURE, NOTHING WORKS!!!!” /

Windsor says: “Next stop, Dr. Maniac's inner sanctum. And he's going to find that his last attempt at a Back-stab Betrayal, WILL be his LAST attempt at a Back-stab Betrayal!”

Sans says: “No argument, with you, there!”

Captain Retro says: “Come on, Sans! Let's go save Alphys and hopefully, Mettaton!” /

Andros and Naruto are running down what APPEARS to be a never-ending hallway, until the lights flicker, and the electricity surges through the room, and they find out that they HAD been running on a moving sidewalk moving in the OPPOSITE way they were running! Naruto says: “Now THERE'S something you don't see everyday!”

Andros says: “But why did it suddenly stop? We didn't do anything.”

Naruto says: “Leave it to Captain Retro to find a way to make things easier for us!”

Than a big, pink robot with a rubber eraser for a head jumps out! And he says: “Your friends help will amount to NOTHING in the end! I am Evil Eraser, and I am going to RUB you out, see?! R-r-r-r-rub you out!”

Naruto says: “I don't think he's speaking in hyperbole! Fire Fox Blast!”

And Naruto FIRES a Fox-shaped blast of fire at Evil Eraser, but he BLASTS a pink ray at it, and the fire DISSIPATES into nothingness! Naruto says: “I was AFRAID of that!”

Andros says: “Nevertheless, I think that will be a good tactic! Keep FIRING those fire blasts at that creep and draw his erasing attack! I'll use my Astro Drill to drill some sense into him!”

Naruto says: “I like THAT plan! Hey, Eraser beast, let's see how you handle some rapid FIRE, blasting! Fire Fox Rapid Blast!”

And Naruto fires a bunch of fox-shaped blasts at Evil Eraser, FORCING Evil Eraser to direct ALL of his Eraser Ray at the blasts, leaving himself open to Andros' attacks! Andros says: “Nothing beats the power of team-work!” /

Meanwhile, Karone and Pinkie Pie have been floating through a starry, cosmic void for what feels like an ETERNITY to them! Karone says: “Okay, this IS weird! Even by RANGER standards!”

Pinkie says: “I should introduce you to Discord, sometime. You haven't even SEEN weird until you've seen HIS kind of weird!”

Karone says: “You know, I have been thinking about something, regarding you and Lettuce.”

Pinkie asks: “What about it?”

Karone says: “Lettuce says that he's already APOLOGIZED to you about a hundred times for building a shrine to Kira. So, what gives?”

Pinkie asks: “What do you mean?!”

Karone says: “What I MEAN is, why haven't you accepted his apology yet?”

Pinkie says: “HELLO! He proposed to me, and yet he STILL had a dedicated...flesh for fantasy...or something of that nature, involving HIM and Kira?! I CAN'T just FORGET that!”

Karone says: “I'm not ASKING you to forget! Look, Lettuce MADE a mistake. I GET it! Having feelings FOR Kira despite proposing to you, was a REALLY tacky thing to do! But people who made BIGGER mistakes than him, have LEARNED from their mistakes, and made real IMPROVEMENTS to the world! People FORGAVE them! I mean, look at ME! I once WAS Astronema, second-in-command to Dark Specter himself! If Andros and the Power Rangers were willing to forgive me, why can't you forgive Lettuce for something that is far LESS heinous than everything I did while I was Astronema?”

Pinkie says: “Wow. I never thought of it LIKE that! I guess I can give Lettuce another chance, but he has to PROVE that he's really committed to me, FIRST!”

Karone says: “Understandable!”

Than suddenly, they stop floating, the stars dissipate, and the room is revealed to have a LARGE floating brain with eyes! Karone says: “WOAH! I've HEARD of a BIG Brain, but THAT'S ridiculous!”

The brain speaks through telepathy, and think-speaks: (“What HAPPENED to Dr. Maniac's holographic projection and gravity manipulation?!”)

Pinkie says: “Captain Retro happened, that's what! And we're going to stop YOU...you...say, what ARE you, anyways?!”

The brain says: “I am Brain Beast, a creature that Dr. Maniac created after having a dream about a video game character boss design, who ended up actually BEING used in a 1997 video game! And you will NOT escape my sight, nor evade my warping technique!”

Pinkie says: “We'll just see about that! I'm the QUEEN of speed! Karone, target the EYES of that brain, and I'll attack his vulnerable underside from behind!”

Karone says: “Got it! It's time for that brain to get a taste of the Quasar Saber!” /

Meanwhile, BlackHawk and Kira are walking through what APPEARS to be a LITERAL Jurassic World, filled with real-life dinosaurs!

Kira says: “Man, Steven Spielberg would KILL to have THESE in his movies!”

BlackHawk says: “All I know is, it's taking FOREVER to trek through whatever THIS is, and NOT attract attention! Why don't I just BLAST these creeps and be done with it?!”

Kira says: “Well, we don't KNOW what kind of monster we're going to face! We should save our energy for when we REALLY need it! You can't ALWAYS just BLAST your problems away, sometimes you need to THINK about STRATEGY, and plan for the future!”

BlackHawk says: “You may be onto something, Kira. Having a strategy certainly would have helped me in my fight against the Zero Girls, when Dr. Maniac turned them evil! I guess even someone like me can stand to learn something new!” (WHIR!!!!)

Than suddenly, the dinosaurs suddenly fall down, and the holograms around their bodies dissipate, revealing VERY elaborate robotic skeletons, designed to LOOK like the dinosaurs they were pretending to be! Kira says: “See? What did I tell you? The dinosaurs WEREN'T even real!”

A feminine voice sinisterly says: “The dinosaurs might not have been REAL, but I am!”

And a female, humanoid monster suddenly appears once the holographic image of the jungle disappears, and is replaced with the image of a room filled with red-hot colors of yellow, orange, and red! Appropriately, the monster is decked out in an outfit made entirely of THOSE colors! BlackHawk says: “Looks like something you'd find in a costume BARGAIN bin...from 1985!”

The monster says: “I am Feminine Flame, I am literally HOT to the touch! You try to fight ME, and I will leave you BURNED!!!!”

Kira removes her helmet, and she says: “Burn THIS!!!! AHHHH!!!!”

And she does her Ptera Scream, and she screams SO loud, the resulting shock-waves and wind from her scream, blows OUT the fiery flames on her costumes, and leaves Feminine Flame a charred, brown shell of her former self! Feminine Flame says: “How could you? You blew out my flames!”

Kira says: “See, BlackHawk? It PAYS to have a strategy!”

BlackHawk says: “Good thinking! Now, it's time to see what Saba II, can TRULY do! Saba II, show me some of that fire-power that you have!”

Saba II says: “I'm on it!”

And Saba II starts firing laser blasts from it's eyes, energy blasts from it's sword blade, and even charges a very POWERFUL Aura blast that KNOCKS Feminine Flame to the ground! BlackHawk says: “Well, it's not EXACTLY a gun, but it gets the job done!” /

Meanwhile, FireHawk and Doggie Kruger are in the middle of a battle, fighting a BUNCH of marionette puppets designed to look like ALL the past monsters that Doggie Kruger has previously had to capture! FireHawk says: “I was NEVER a fan of puppet shows before, and this certainly doesn't help to improve their image in MY mind!”

Doggie says: “No matter HOW many I slash, they just don't seem to STAY down! Why do they KEEP coming for more?!”

(WHIR!) Than, as if to answer his question, the puppets suddenly hiss, and then dissipate! FireHawk says: “They were nothing but holograms! No WONDER you couldn't do a thing against them!”

Than a really MENACING monster appears, looking like an EVIL version of Pinocchio, and says: “Those fake puppets might have been holograms, but I'm the REAL deal! I'm Psycho Puppet, and I will take the duty of pulling the strings on YOU today!”

FireHawk says: “I don't THINK so! Black Fire BLAST!!!!”

And spewing out a blast of black fire, she SCORCHES Psycho Puppets' remote control, and melts it into a useless goo of electronic wires! Psycho Puppet says: “You RUINED my grand control!”

Doggie says: “We'll ruin more than THAT before we're through with you! Let's take this guy head on! He's not so tough without a remote to control victims!”

FireHawk says: “Agreed!” /

Finally, Captain Retro, Sans, and Windsor reach the doorway, which has eight different panels, for the eight different passwords needed. Sans says: “Well, we made it to the master door. Now, we just need to figure out which password goes where!”

Windsor says: “It's very simple. Each of the panels are numbered, one through eight, corresponding to which pathway each of you had to go through. So, the password for panel four, would be the one I gave to you.”

Captain Retro says: “So, in other words, '4', for panel four.”

Windsor says: “That about sums it up.”

Sans says: “'4 for four'?! You would THINK Dr. Maniac could be a LITTLE more creative than that!”

Windsor says: “Well, like I said, he didn't THINK you would GET this far!”

Captain Retro says: “And it's time for ME to help the other Rangers get this far!”

Windsor asks: “What do you mean?”

Captain Retro says: “I'm sorry, you're new to this. Allow me to explain. See, I'm a cosmic Radio D.J., and it's my job to play songs that the Rangers can hear, in order to spur them on, and help them in their fights against the EVIL monsters they have to fight, which you NEVER truly were! And as such, I think this occasion, calls for a 1984 hit song, by The Jacksons!” /

And while all the Rangers are fighting their respective monsters, Captain Retro plays a familiar 1984 hit song by The Jacksons, in the background, the hit song, “Torture.” / (Instrumental Opening) The Jacksons sing: “It was on the street so evil, so bad that even hell disowned it. Every single step was trouble, for the fool who stumbled on it. Eyes within the dark were watching, I felt that sudden chill of danger. Something told me to keep on walking; told me I should not have gone there. Baby, because you cut me like a knife, without your love in my life. I'm out, I'm walking the night and I just can't stop this feeling. It's torture, it's torture, it's torture. She was up a stair to nowhere. A room forever, I'll remember. She said as though I should have known her. Tell me, what's your pain or pleasure? Every little thing you find here, is simply for the thrill you're after. Loneliness or hearts on fire. I am here to serve all masters. She said, Reality is a knife, when there's no love in your life. Unmerciful is the night when you just can't stop this feeling. It's torture, it's torture, it's torture. And I still can't find the meaning, of the face I keep on seeing. Was she real or am I dreaming? Did the sound of your name turn a wheel, strike a flame in me? Whoo-hoo! (Instrumental solo) Baby, because you cut me like a knife, without your love in my life. I'm out, I'm walking the night and I just can't stop this feeling. It's torture, it's torture, it's torture. She said, Reality is a knife when there's no love in your life. Unmerciful is the night when you just can't stop this feeling. It's torture, it's torture, it's torture. When you call my name, it's torture! When you strike a flame, it's torture! When you call my name, it's torture! When you call my name, it's torture! When you strike a flame, it's torture! When you call my name, it's torture!” (Instrumental finish) /

And the Rangers all destroy their respective monsters, except for Scorpina, who gets KNOCKED into the pit meant to swallow Tommy, and she disappears magically before she is swallowed into darkness; and the passwords reveal themselves to the Power Rangers! Billy says: “All right! Our password, is the number, '1'!” /

Usagi says: “I can't believe it! You did everything RIGHT, and she STILL got away!”

Tommy sighs, and says: “To the past. I have a feeling that I might have to go back in time to my OWN time, soon. I have a feeling that I'll have to go on another mission. And I have a feeling that whatever outcome happens, that next mission may very well BE my last.”

Usagi says: “You can worry about that, later! For now, we've got our password, and the pit is being closed up, so we can cross now! Our password, is the number, '2'!” /

Lettuce says: “Transparent Tanks aren't so scary, when they aren't transparent!”

Adam says: “And we've got our password! Our password, is the number, '3'!” /

Naruto says: “Wow! You did it! You ERASED the eraser!”

Andros says: “I couldn't have done it without YOUR help! And we've got our password! Our password, is the number, '5'!” /

Pinkie says: “So much for Dr. Maniac's Brain Beast! For a boss that was BASICALLY a brain, it's REALLY not that hard to defeat it when you know HOW to!”

Karone says: “And we've got our password! Our password, is the number, '6'!” /

BlackHawk says: “Guess THAT flame...went down in flames.”

Kira says: “Seriously?!”

BlackHawk says: “Coop has always BETTER at coming up with witty remarks than I can. Besides, we've got our password! Our password, is the number, '7'!” /

FireHawk says: “So much for THAT puppet show! Hope there aren't any encores!”

Doggie says: “Agreed! And we now have our password! Our password, is the number, '8'!” /

Captain Retro says: “I have a feeling that my song worked! The other Power Rangers should be along in 3...2...1!”

And Captain Retro turns around, and sure enough, all the Power Rangers arrive at the big, steel door, no worse for the wear! Sans says: “Great! You guys ALL made it!”

Billy says: “Wait! Why is Bionic Gorilla with you?”

Captain Retro says: “His real name is Windsor, and I saved his life, and gave him back his freedom! He's one of the good guys, now!”

Lettuce says: “Awesome! And Pinkie?”

Pinkie says: “Yes?”

Lettuce says: “I'm...REALLY sorry about that whole SHRINE business! It wasn't FAIR to you. You...didn't deserve to have to put up with that ordeal, and I'm sorry I ever let that devotion get to such a bizarre state. I promise you, when we get back home, my romantic attentions will NEVER be focused on another woman EVER again! From now on, my heart will be set on you, and ONLY you. So, will you PLEASE give me another chance?”

Pinkie sighs, and says: “I suppose so. After all, I suppose MAYBE I over-reacted a little to the Shrine. After all, it's not like you WERE Karone when she was Astronema, basically GROOMED into being an evil villain for most of her life, than forcibly BRAINWASHED into being evil by Darkonda. The point is, I was upset by it, but I understand that you made a mistake, and that you are willing to learn from it. I can move past all this, but I need you to prove yourself to me for a little while, before I'll fully commit to anything, like us being together forever, or a reasonable facsimile thereof.”

Lettuce says: “Sure, I can live with that. I've waited THIS long to get together with you. A couple more months or so is worth the wait.”

Captain Retro says: “All right! Now it's time to put in the passwords, for the combination! Sans, tell me everyone's password!”

Sans says: “Right! You DID get all your passwords, didn't you?!”

BlackHawk says: “Of course we did!”

And the Rangers all whisper their passwords to Sans. Sans turns back around and says: “Okay! The passwords, in chronological order, for all the different panels, are as follows! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight!

Captain Retro says: “So, the combined password combination is; '1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8'.”

Lettuce says: WHAT?!!! That's the STUPIDEST password combination I've EVER heard in my LIFE! That's the kind of combination an IDIOT would have on his LUGGAGE!”

Naruto says: “Wait! Did you SAY the password combination is, '1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8'?”

Sans says: “Yes.”

Naruto says: “That's AMAZING! I've got the SAME combination on my LUGGAGE! Captain Retro, open the door! And when we get back home, in a completely unrelated matter, remind me to CHANGE the combination on MY luggage!”

Captain Retro puts in all the passwords, and the big steel door swings open. A big, booming voice says: “COME FORWARD!!!!”

Tommy says: “Get ready, guys! We're about to enter the belly of the beast!”

And they all walk into the spacious room, which is filled what APPEARS to be a large cauldron, and a bunch of fiery FLAMES coming out of it, and a HUGE, floating, green head image of Dr. Maniac, appears OVER the cauldron! Pinkie says: “Oh, in Equestria's name, what have you DONE to yourself?!”

Dr. Maniac's voice booms: “I AM DR. MANIAC!!!! THE SMART AND POWERFUL!!!! WHO ARE YOU?!!! (DUH! DUH!) WHO ARE YOU?!!!”

Usagi says: “What are you TALKING about?! You know who WE are! I am Usagi, the brave and pretty! And we've come to ask--.”

Dr. Maniac's voice booms: “SILENCE!!!! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL DR. MANIAC, KNOWS WHY YOU HAVE COME! STEP FORTH, BIONIC GORILLA!!!!”

And Windsor reluctantly steps forth! Dr. Maniac's voice booms: “YOU DARE TO ASK ME FOR YOUR FREEDOM, DO YOU?! YOU CLINKING, CLANKING, CLATTERING COLLECTION OF CACOPHONUS JUNK?!!!”

And Windsor says: “WOAH!!!! Yes, sir. Yes, your honor. You see, a while back, Captain Retro saved my life. And--.”

Dr. Maniac's voice booms: “QUIET!!!! AND YOU, SANS, HAVE THE EFFRONTERY TO ASK ME TO STOP KILLING WHOEVER I LIKE! YOU BILLOWING BALE OF BOVINE BONES!!!!”

Sans says: “Yes, your honor! I mean, your excellency! I mean, your BRILLIANCY!!!!”

Captain Retro shouts: “ENOUGH!!!!”

And he walks over to a conspicuous green curtain, and OPENS it, revealing the REAL Dr. Maniac! Dr. Maniac turns around, and shouting through a voice amplifier, booms: “PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!!!! THE GREATEST, DR. MANIAC, HAS SPOKEN!!!!”

Karone scoffs, and asks: “Oh, come ON! Who are YOU?!”

Dr. Maniac shouts through the voice amplifier, and booms: “I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL--!!!!”

Than he steps away from the voice amplifier, and finishes: “Dr. Maniac!”

Captain Retro says: “I expected MORE from YOU, Dr. Maniac, but THAT was just SAD! How STUPID do you THINK we ARE?!!!”

Dr. Maniac says: You don't REALLY want me to ANSWER that one, do you, you PEONS?!”

Than suddenly Alphys' voice shouts: “RANGERS!!!! Have you come to rescue me! I'm up HERE, on this CHANDELIER!!!!”

And the Rangers look up, and sure enough, they see Alphys tied up to a LARGE, yellow chandelier, without ANY means of a method that she could POSSIBLY use to escape, or get herself down safely! Sans says: “Alphys! Don't worry, we'll get you down soon!”

Dr. Maniac says: “Don't BET on it, bone boy! Make ONE wrong move, and I will RELEASE the mechanism holding that chandelier in place! In other words, you MESS with me; Alphys WILL DIE and it WILL ALL BE YOUR FAULT!!!! I WARNED YOU NOT TO MESS WITH ME! BUT YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN!!!!”

StarHawk says: “Dr. Maniac, you are TRULY a--!!”

And then she starts SQUAWKING in high-pitched Hawkian, and although nobody can see it, BlackHawk is blushing from EMBARRASSMENT from what he is hearing! Bionic Gorilla asks: “What in the WORLD did she say?!”

FireHawk says: “She was speaking in our native Hawkian, and what she said, I can't repeat it exactly, because it might OFFEND Captain Retro! However, I can paraphrase what she said. She said, 'You are truly a most DEGRADING excuse for a poop-filled, fatherless child I have ever seen, and when we DO free Alphys, I am LITERALLY going to RIP up your BUTT and SHOVE IT DOWN your FREAKING MOUTH like the DONKEY that you ARE'! Totally paraphrased, of course.”

Captain Retro says: “Of course.”

Dr. Maniac says: “OOH, such spirit! Professor Bias always DID warn me to BEWARE of the Nice Ones! Of course, you won't LIVE much longer to CARE for such witty banter!”

Adam says: “And what's your DERANGED plan THIS time?! ANOTHER monster?!”

Dr. Maniac says: “THE monster! Allow me to present, the MENACING METTAON!!!!”

And he reveals a small, brown robot with a bunch of buttons, on a singular wheel. BlackHawk says: “Weird. He seemed a LOT more menacing down in the underground. Of course, I WAS younger back then, but STILL...”

Dr. Maniac says: “He may be small, but it's the SIZE of the fight IN the robot that counts! And don't think that you can MERCY your way through THIS one, all of his original programming is gone, and he WILL fight to YOUR deaths, or his! So much, for a TRUE PACIFIST ROUTE!!!!”

Sans' eyes start to glow red, and he says: “I'll SHOW YOU WHAT NO MERCY LOOKS LIKE!”

Captain Retro says: “THINK!!!! Alphys' life is STILL in danger! If YOU fight against Dr. Maniac, he WILL kill her!”

Sans says: “And if we fight against Mettaton, we'll kill HIM!”

Alphys shouts: “I MADE a hard-drive back-up of Mettaton's original programming while I was still in the underground! It's back in the lab! Don't worry about destroying THIS Mettaton, he's just a PAWN in Dr. Maniac's SICK game, like Windsor was! I can make a NEW Mettaton with his ORIGINAL programming once we get back home! Do what you NEED to do!”

Sans says: “We have no choice. We HAVE to destroy this Mettaton. It's the only way!”

BlackHawk says: “I'll take care of this QUICKLY, I remember how Alphys told me to beat him the LAST time! HEY, Mettaton! There's a BIG, SHINY MIRROR behind you, if you just STARE and LOOK!”

Mettaton turns around, and robotically says: “What? Where IS the mirror?”

And he reveals a HUGE On/Off Switch on the back of him! Lettuce says: “Pinkie Pie, NOW!!!!”

And Pinkie Pie QUICKLY switches Mettaton, from “On,” to “Off.”

Usagi says: “Phew! THAT wasn't so hard!”

Naruto says: “Yeah, Dr. Maniac usually FORCES us to fight for 28 minutes before WE can take care of a monster!”

Than a sexy, male voice COMES from Mettaton, and he says: “OOH, you switched me from 'On', to 'Off'. You must WANT to see my NEW form!”

Than Mettaton suddenly SHEDS its robotic exterior, and reveals a handsome, somewhat skeletal, tall, thin body! Mettaton sexily says: “Say hello to Mettaton Exe.!”

BlackHawk says: “WHAT?! That didn't happen the LAST time I went through the Underground!”

Captain Retro says: “You must have been playing a Beta Version with Gaster still in it.”

Alphys shouts: “I thought EVERYONE in the Underground AGREED that we would NEVER speak of 'Gaster', again!”

Captain Retro says: “Well, if you dig around hard enough...it's NOT important! Rangers, BLAST everything that Mettaton Exe., shoots at you, but DON'T hit him! I've GOT to play a radio song, and set up my phone lines for EVERYONE in the Multiverse!”

Kira asks: “What for?”

Captain Retro says: “I need to exploit Mettaton Exe., and it's ONLY weakness, his DESPERATE need for high ratings! And I've got the song that can make it happen! Rangers, you KNOW what YOU need to do!”

All the Rangers say: “Right!”

BlackHawk says: “Let's power up!”

Captain Retro begins his telepathic radio broadcast, and he says: “This is Captain Retro, coming to you with a special LIVE broadcast from the Planet Onyx, and they need YOUR help! Only with plenty of calls from YOU, the loyal listeners, will help defeat the latest threat they have to fight! So be sure to send all phone calls to 555-2278. Remember, that's the same as dialing, 555-CAPT! Here's a song that will SURELY get you in the right mood! From 1984, this is The Jacksons and Mick Jagger, with their mega hit song, 'State of Shock'!” /

/ And while all the Rangers are fighting Mettaton Exe., Captain Retro plays the familiar mega hit song by The Jacksons, and Mick Jagger, in the background; “State of Shock”! / The Jacksons and Mick Jagger sing: “Yeah, come on, baby. You gotta be mine, cause you're so fine. I like your style, it makes me wild! You take it to me good! You like it. Know, you should! You get me on my knees! Come on, baby! Well, please, baby, please. Listen, she looks so great, every time I see her face, she puts me in a state. A state of shock! We're doing it! Oh, ha, come on, baby. Oh, come on, baby. Come on, let me in. She put me on my knees! Please, baby, please! I know you like to tease, but please, baby, please. You take it to me good! You like it. Know, you should! I love the way you walk and talk, baby, talk! Listen, she looks so great, every time I see her face, she puts me in a state. A state of shock! She put me, ooh, in a state of shock. Now come over here. No, come over here. Ooh, talk, talk to me. State of shock! You know I really love you, baby! Want you, I really want you! You got me paralyzed! You got me paralyzed! You got me catatonic. You got me catatonic baby. You got me supersonic! You got me supersonic, baby! You know I'm deep fried. You know I'm deep fried. Yeah, look what you've done to me. Look what you've done to me! Look what you've done to me! Yeah, how you move! A state of shock! You know I need mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Come on, baby! You know I've really loved you, baby! (Michael Jackson, starts singing “Now” over and over until the end of the song). State of shock! You know I really want you! Yeah, baby, yeah, baby. Just look at me, look at me. State of shock! You drive me! You got me, you got me, you got me in a state of shock! Look at that, look at me. Look at me, look at me. Look at me. Ooh, look at me.” / And the hit song ends. /

And the listener tally clocks in at 44 MILLION listeners! Mettaton Exe., sexily says: “OOH! The ratings are at their absolute PEAK!!!! I have NEVER been more popular! I have reached the pinnacle of my popularity! This shall be my final fight! With your skills, you truly DO have the ability to stop Dr. Maniac, and save Core Earth from his wicked whims! I KNOW you will do me proud!”

And then Mettaton Exe., shuts down for good! BlackHawk says: “Do you see what you're dealing with NOW, Dr. Maniac?! No matter WHAT you throw at US, we ARE going to stop it! And that INCLUDES YOU, you VILE MONSTER!!!!”

But then, Dr. Maniac LOSES it in a way the Rangers have NEVER seen him lose it before! Dr. Maniac screams: “No, NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!!!!!!!!”

Captain Retro says: “Uh-oh! He's having a Villainous Breakdown!”

Dr. Maniac screams: “I must be DREAMING!!!! I'll be RUINED!!!! I didn't WANT to do THIS, but now, I have NO CHOICE!!!!”

StarHawk asks: “What is he talking about now?”

FireHawk says: “Oh, he's just bluffing again.”

Dr. Maniac says: “I am doing NO such THING!!!! You may have THWARTED every single ONE of my MECHANICAL creations, but now you must face against ME, the MASTER of ALL MACHINES! And I will PERSONALLY KILL YOU, even if I HAVE to take EXTREME MEASURES!!!!”

And with his cybernetic arm, he HACKS into Mettaton Exe., than he PULLS out FIVE CRIMSON red vials, marked “SUPER PSYCHO SERUM! Warning: DO NOT USE UNLESS THERE IS REALLY, REALLY, NO ALTERNATIVE SOLUTION!!!!”

Karone shouts: “STOP!!!! That's PURE concentrated ESSENCE of the five Psycho Rangers! Even just ONE of those vials, and you'll be--!”

Dr. Maniac screams: “It's TOO late for THAT!!!! I TRIED to be NICE about it, but you have SQUANDERED ALL YOUR CHANCES!!!!”

And Dr. Maniac INJECTS all five vials into his body, and he begins pulsating with a CRAZY amount of energy that even KARONE has NEVER felt before! Billy says: “This is not GOOD!!!!”

Captain Retro says: “Get inside my shield barrier!!!! This is going to get UGLY!!!!”

The fortress starts to shake and crumble apart, as if it can't WITHSTAND the energy entering into Dr. Maniac's body! Dr. Maniac's voice starts to MUTATE into the VOICE of the Legion, and he says: “I FEEL LIKE A NEW MANIAC!!!!”

And Dr. Maniac's body, FORCIBLY and SICKENINGLY MERGES ITSELF with Mettaton Exe's., body, and it begins to contort and WARP itself into a TWISTED, MANGLED mash of Machine and Organic parts from the two former, separate bodies, WARPING into a LARGE, HORRIFIC body horror that would make even TETSUO blush! Pinkie Pie says: “WOAH! Somebody call for a plastic surgeon!”

Dr. Maniac's voice booms: “I feel BIG again!”

Captain Retro says: “Windsor, get to the Astro Mega Ship, you're just collateral damage, here!”

Windsor says: “Whatever you do, don't get KILLED!!!!”

And Windsor runs outside to wait for the Astro Mega Ship to pick him up! And without even the NEED for a Bigga Ray, Dr. Maniac grows to a GIGANTIC size, and his body now seemingly LOOKS like 1995 C.G.I., computer graphics, ALMOST the same as the body utilized for movie villain, Ivan Ooze! Despite the Fortress coming apart at the seams, the section of ceiling that Alphys, and the chandelier she is tied to, is still safely secure in place! Dr. Maniac's voice booms: “All right, you Power brats! It's the Eleventh Hour, and your time is up!”

Tommy says: “Don't bet on it! It's time to summon ALL our fire-power!”

Billy says: “Right! I need Dino Megazord power, NOW!!!!”

And in a sight not seen since 1994, the original Dinozords roar back to life, and come rushing towards Billy! Tommy says: “I need Tigerzord power, now!”

And the Tigerzord runs towards Tommy, and he jumps into the cock-pit! Adam says: “I need Zeo Megazord power, now!”

And all five of the Zeo zords come together, and form into the Zeo Megazord! Karone says: “Go, Galactic!”

And the five Lost Galaxy zords, come together, and form into the Lost Galaxy Megazord! Kira says: “Dino Thunder, power up!”

And all three of the main Dino Thunder Zords come together, and form the Dino Thunder Megazord! Doggie Kruger says: “S.P.D., Emergency!”

And the S.P.D. Megazord appears, and Doggie Kruger jumps into it! BlackHawk says: “Now it's my turn! I need Lionzord power, now!”

And a familiar tune plays in the background, and says: “Gold Ranger, Lion Power! Gold Ranger, Lion Power! Gold Ranger, Lion Power! Gold Ranger, Lion Power!”

BlackHawk jumps into the cock-pit, hooks Saba II in, and BlackHawk says: “All right! Time to fight out what this Zord can TRULY do!”

The tune continues: “Gold Ranger, Lion Power! Gold Ranger, Lion Power! Go, Gold Ranger! Go, Gold Ranger right NOW!!!!”

The other Rangers look at all the completed Zord formations, and Pinkie says: “It's INCREDIBLE! Seven FULL Zord formations! This might be the biggest gathering of Zords, ever!”

Billy says: “Rangers, we could use a hand! I've modified the controls, but each Zord formation STILL needs at LEAST one more Ranger in order to run, properly!”

Naruto says: “What do you think? Same partnerships as last time?”

Andros says: “With one small modification. I'll go with BlackHawk. Naruto, you go help Kira.”

Naruto says: “Right!

StarHawk goes with Billy, Usagi goes with Tommy, Lettuce goes with Adam, Naruto goes with Kira, Pinkie goes with Karone, Andros goes with BlackHawk, and FireHawk goes with Doggie! Dr. Maniac says: “Impressive machines, to say the least! Now, let's see how well you handle them!”

To Be Continued... 

I hope you enjoyed reading it, as much as I did writing it. Enough said, true believers!

 

[4EverGreen]

Hooray! A re-run that DIDN'T take forever to get re-run! Here's a vintage episode of "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" Enjoy! /

Sniz is in the monitor control room, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, it was a retro video game day challenge for the ten remaining contestants, and when I say that they were LITERALLY playing this challenge like their entire GAME depended on it, I mean that LITERALLY played this challenge like their entire game depended on it; because truthfully speaking, it probably DID depend on it! Danny found out that the famous spirits who were inhabiting his body, were doing so, because they had unfinished business, and he promised to help out in any way he could. He would give THEM a peace of mind, so HE could have a peace of mind! Meanwhile, Theodore Seville, FINALLY decided to step up to the challenge, and PROVE that he could compete with the best of them, thanks to a little incentive from Miss Brittany Miller! Unfortunately, Theodore found out the hard way, that incentive can only take you so far, and he got knocked out of the challenge. While who should win the challenge of ALL contestants, except for Bubble Bass?! Looks like the guy has LITERALLY got game, in more ways than one! At the Power Pandas Elimination Ceremony, it was to almost nobody's surprise, that Theodore Seville, got the unceremonious boot, out of the game, via the dreaded Slingshot of Shame. Only nine contestants remain, and the action is about to get more exciting than ever! Because today, the contestants are going underground, to discover, the lost treasure of...The TOONIES!!!! Why is it called that? I honestly have NO idea! Who will prevail in this challenge, and who will be the next contestant eliminated out of this game?! Find out on the newest episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" /

"The Toonies R Good Enough" The action opes up, unusually enough, during night time, at the motel where the Killer Prawns are currently staying. Specifically, it opens up in Bubble Bass' room, where Bubble Bass is starting to take a shower, and singing along to Earth, Wind, & Fire's version of, "Got To Get You Into My Life," all the while, thinking about the moment when he gets back together with Blonda. / Bubble Bass sings: "Got to get you into my life, into my life. Got to get you into my life, into my life. Got to get you into my life, into my life. Got to get you into my life, into my life. Got to get you into my life, into my life. I was alone, I took a ride. I didn't know what I would find there. Another road, where maybe I could see another sign there. Oo, then I suddenly see you. Oo, and did I tell you I need you, every single day of my life? You didn't run, you didn't lie. You knew I wanted just to hold you. And had you gone, you knew in time, we'd meet again, for I had told you. Oh, you were meant to be near me. Oh, I really want you to hear me, say we'll be together every day. Got to get you into my life! Got to get you in, got to get you into my life! Got to get you into my life! Got to get you in, got to get you into my life! Got to get you into my life! Ooo, then I suddenly see you, ooo, and did I tell you I need you, every single day of my life. Got to get you into my life! Got to get you in, got to get you into my life! Got to get you into my life! Got to get you into my life! Got to get you in, got to get you in! Got to get you in, got to get you in, Into my life! Got to get you into my life! Got to get you in, got to get you in! Got to get you in, got to get you in, Into my life! Got to get you into my life! Got to get you in, got to get you in!" / The song ends, Bubble Bass steps out of the shower, and begins drying himself, when he hears his hotel room door buzzer ring, indicating there's someone right outside. Bubble Bass says: "Must be who I'm expecting." Bubble Bass shouts: "Hang on one minute, I'll be right out!"

Bubble Bass quickly gets dressed, opens his door, and sure enough, his mom is right there! Bubble Bass says: "Hi, mom! So nice you could finally get here!" His mom walks right in, and she says: "Wow, pretty fancy, 'Schmancy', or whatever it is they call it. Who knows? Maybe if you manage to win this competition, you might even be able to buy something HALF as nice for YOU to live in!" Bubble Bass asks: "Why do I need to do that? I'm in a relationship with Blonda now; her accomodations are going to be better than this stuff!" His mom says: "If you ask me, you could do SO much better that that two bit celebrity wannabe!" Bubble Bass gasps, sputters, and he says: "Are YOU kidding me?! I'm lucky I even managed to get the interest of a woman who was THAT good, and YOU know it, to!" His mom says: "All the same, don't expect to come running back to me when she inevitably breaks your heart for a much tougher, stronger, YOUNGER guy, because I won't hear of it!" Bubble Bass says: "Mom, Blonda PROVED herself to me! Do you know what she did?! She turned herself into something that was FAR below her tastes of beauty and grace, she did that FOR me! And she's stuck like that for the foreseeable future!" His mom says: "I see. And I suppose you think, that in the amount of time that she's stuck, she's going to change her view-point about you?" Bubble Bass says: "Mom, this may come as a surprise to you, but over the last few challenges, I've found out that I'm a LOT better than I thought I was! I personally never knew that there was anything more to me than eating, playing video games, or buying collectibles, but I've learned that I actually have some hidden skills, and it all came from simply applying myself to the best of my ability. If I can do that here, I can certainly do that in Bikini Bottom. Whether or not that will carry on into the ACTUAL show of 'Spongebob Squarepants' or not, that remains to be seen."

His Mom says: "Well, you certainly LOOK more competent, and SOUND more confident than when you left my house. I guess, maybe your relationship with Blonda COULD work out!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, there's certainly no telling what the future holds for sure, all I know is that I'm going to do my absolute best, no matter what comes in my way!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Prior to today, I've never really felt like my mom has never really talked to me on my own level. She would ALWAYS talk to me as if I were several levels BELOW her! But today, it felt like she's finally starting to see me as a young adult, and not just her son! And I don't know how much that matters to anyone else, but it definitely means a lot to me! That's why I'm DETERMINED to make it as far as I can! Not just to impress Blonda, but to show my mom, that I DO have the ability to do great things, and not ALL those great things revolve around video game achievements!" / Bubble Bass' Mom is in the Confessional, and she says: "Okay, I'm CONFUSED! What is the purpose of this thing ANYWAYS?!" (End Confessional) Meanwhile, in the cabins being used by the Power Pandas, Private looks at the clock, and realizes that it is 8 P.M. Private says: "There hasn't been a challenge today! There hasn't BEEN a challenge ALL day!" Kowalski says: "So, what of it? You know that Sniz and Fondue only give us challenges, when there's a challenge to be given." Private says: "That's just the POINT I'm trying to make! Sniz and Fondue ALWAYS give us challenges, and they HAVEN'T given us a challenge today!" Po says: "Personally, I don't see why you should be so worried! It means more time for relaxing and chilling as far as I'm concerned!" Jenny says: "You know, Private DOES have a point. Sniz and Fondue DO always give us challenges." Private asks: "Do you think something might have happened to them?!" Kowalski says: "If it did, don't you think somebody ELSE would have let us know about it FIRST?!"

Private says: "Well, I would certainly hope so. But for all we know, this could be a SECRET challenge, and we could be LOSING it right now!" Jenny says: "I highly DOUBT that any challenge would be secret! I have the ENTIRE rule guidelines of the 'Total Cartoon' rulebook, version 4.0, updated in my memory banks! And nowhere in the entire rulebook, does it say that it's legal for ANY challenge to be secret!" Kowalski says: "Personally though, I don't like being kept in the dark any more than Private does! After all, this COULD be the doing of Anti-Cosmo! After all, we HAVE seen just how BLATANTLY he disregards the rules at his own convenience, and tries making Bubble Bass' life miserable! Who's to say that he wouldn't do the same to Sniz and Fondue?!" Jenny says: "Anti-Cosmo wouldn't DO that! Sniz and Fondue would FIRE him if he ever tried anything!" Danny says: "Maybe not. After all, the Fairies of Fairy World ARE still on strike! If they fire Anti-Cosmo, they'd have to go with the BORING Pixies for magic instead, and we ALL know there's NO way Sniz and Fondue are going to that! If they get rid of Anti-Cosmo, they would HAVE nothing, and I think Anti-Cosmo knows this, to! I think we should investigate this situation! The sooner we get down to the bottom of this whole thing, the better!" Po says: "In that case, you're going to need a leader! Without ME around, you might not last five minutes against Anti-Cosmo! I've taken on LOADS of bad guys during my time as a Dragon Warrior! And with me, we can face on ANYTHING Anti-Cosmo can throw at us!" Jenny says: "I think I should come along to. You might need some of my technological capabilities to get through any tight spots you might come across!" Kowalski says: "That's the spirit! You'll also need my Analysis clip-board, and Private's youthful stamina! With my brains, and his untapped potential, we've overcome SEVERAL different adversaries and challenges that have come our way!"
Jenny says: "That's four out of five then! WELL, Danny Fenton?" Danny sighs, and says: "Okay, I'll help you, but I'm probably NOT going to like it!" Private asks: "Why?" Danny says: "Simple! Tigress REMEMBERS how I tricked her into REVEALING that she has found the Pendant of Life AGAIN! That means that SHE, and by extension, her team, are going to be trying EXTRA Hard to win the next challenge, in order to get ME eliminated as a result! Tigress is NOT the kind to take any infractions against her character, real OR imagined, unchecked!" Po says: "I hear you there, Danny. All I know for sure is, to paraphrase someone famous, You lose 100% of the games you DON'T play in! So, if you play, at least you HAVE a chance of winning, which is better than no chance at all." Danny says: "True. Alright, I'll do it! Who knows? This might be the chance for me to step up to the plate, and help my OWN game, so to speak!"

Jenny says: "And don't worry about a thing! Because we will all be here to support you, every step of the way!" (Confessional) Private says: "Am I nervous about a potential upcoming challenge? A little bit. But who wouldn't be? After all, we're already DOWN to only nine contestants remaining! It's not going to be much longer before we hit the team merge, and there simply haven't BEEN as many opportunities to learn from the mistakes of other contestants, as there have in seasons past! Lucky for me, I still have Kowalski to fall back on in a pinch, so I know that I have his support no matter what. But if HE gets eliminated before I do, where will that LEAVE me?! All I know for sure is, I've got to do my best to keep Kowalski, and by extension, myself, in the game as LONG as I can! Either way, either he or I, have GOT to make the Final Two this time! This might be the LAST chance a representative from 'The Penguins of Madagascar', could even have a CHANCE to win the whole enchilada! Metaphorically speaking, of course!" /

Kowalski says: "I'm definitely proud of Private for helping us to form an investigation! He's learning to trust his intuition more, and relying MORE on his previous untapped penguin commando instincts! Skipper will be SO proud to see how much Private has improved as a penguin! Who knows? He might even promote Private, to 'Corporal'! Anything is possible!" / Jenny says: "I HAD to volunteer to help the others, okay?! I'm the only woman LEFT on my team! I mean, I've actually ALWAYS been the only woman on my team, but that's not the POINT I'm trying to make! The point is, it's been MY personal experience, that there are STILL far too many guys, human or otherwise, who will always admire a woman for her beauty. But when they come across a woman who genuinely IS smart, or who HAS skills that far surpass their own, they will amost ALWAYS become threatened by them, and turn against her at the earliest POSSIBLE convenience for them! I hope that's not the case for my team, but either way, I'm keeping my guard up, and looking for any possible legal strategy I can use to keep myself in the game! Because I know that Tigress and Fee are probably doing the same thing right now. And personally, I'd rather that I get to the Final Three, than mean old Tigress ANY day of the week! Just, don't tell her I said that, to her face, okay?" / Po says: "This investigation is the perfect opportunity to make up for the last challenge! A mark of a TRULY good leader, is to realize, when they make a mistake. And I made one when I let Fee TRICK me into picking Danny and Theodore for the last challenge! Fee somehow KNEW that Theodore's skills were lackluster compared to the rest of us, and she used Theodore's lack of physical prowess against us! Thankfully, that trick is NOT going to work on me again! Because, even though no one LIKES making mistakes, as long as you LEARN from them, then it would be PRACTICALLY impossible for you to unintentionally make the same mistake again!" /

Danny says: "I have no idea the type of challenge I'm about to face, okay? All I know for sure is the fact, that I have to do my absolute best! After all, the spirits of Marlon Brando, Bette Davis, and Rodney Dangerfield, are all depending on me! So, if I can prove that I'm a contender, by somehow using Bette Davis' acting skills, I can get the respect for Rodney Dangerfield that he has long been looking for, and help them ALL out, as well as myself, all at the same time! Not to say that this experience hasn't been interesting, because it has, I'll just be a whole lot happier, and a whole lot saner, when I have my whole body to MYSELF again!" (End Confessional) The Power Pandas leave their cabins, and begin searching across the island, a fact not un-noticed by The Killer Prawns! Tigress looks out her window, and asks: "Now where are THEY going?!" Fee asks: "Who cares?! We're living in the lap of luxury, getting to eat ALL the junk food we want, and get ENDLESS pedicures and hair perms when we want them! Not to mention, my social life here is TOTALLY great thanks to UNLIMITED calls to Harvey Beaks, whoo-whoo!" Tigress says: "Look! Here's the simple fact! You're young, you're a girl, and you're NOT that skilled! The Power Pandas are going to try extra-hard to USE your lack of skill against you, in order to eliminate you!" Fee scoffs, and asks: "Why should I be worried? You HAVE a Pendant of Life at your disposal, after all!" Tigress says: "Which is ONLY good for one contestant! And I'm NOT going to waste it, trying to save the likes of YOU! If you WANT to stay in this game, you should think about, how you're going to help ME win it!" Johnny scoffs: "AGAIN?!!!" Tigress rolls her eyes, and says: "Oh, like YOU really have a SHOT to beat me in the final three!" Johnny says: "That's ASSUMING you even get there!" Tigress says: "Which I'm GOING to, because I am the strongest, the smartest, the fastest, the toughest, and by extension, the MEANEST contestant there is! NOBODY is going to beat me in the Final Three!"

Johnny says: "And what about the Final Three? What THEN?!" Tigress says: "The challenge will be a CAKE walk for me, because I'll be competing against LARD BUTT Bubble Bass, and noodle arms Private! I'll run CIRCLES around them, and compete the challenge in fifteen minutes, which is par for the COURSE for me!" Johnny says: "Do you even REALIZE how BADLY you just BLEW your own chances for the Final Three? You just BLABBED your entire line-up for who you want to GO against in the Final Three, RIGHT to our faces!" Tigress says: "So what if I did? What of it? At least I have the HONESTY to ADMIT my plans to your faces, and not LIE about it like Bulma did!" Fee says: "And I suppose you think, that fact automatically makes you BETTER than Bulma?" Tigress says: "It does from a moral perspective." Johnny says: "Look, even if you truly ARE more moral than Bulma, that does NOT give you a FREE pass to just bully and berate everyone you COME across! You have to do MORE than talk the talk! You have to walk the walk...whatever THAT means!" Tigress scoffs, and says: "Right, because YOU two are SO moral, Little Miss Delinquent, and Johnny breaks his exo-skeleton on a daily basis and thinks nothing of it!" Fee says: "Hey! At least I admit that I've MADE mistakes and LEARNED from them! At least I'm TRYING to be a girl that Harvey Beaks can admire!" Johnny says: "Yeah! And that BROKEN exo-skeleton was just the ONE time on 'Extreme Spots'!" Tigress says: "All I know is, I'm GOING to win this season WITH or without you! Now, I can be NICE about it, and let you ride on my metaphorical coat-tails for as long as I can let you. But, if you decide to PULL this morality C--!" Tigress realizes Fee is STILL in the room, and Tigress says: "CRUD, again, I'll have no choice but to use a Pendant of Life, and eliminate you at my leisure!" Johnny says: "And what if I tell Bubble Bass what you HONESTLY said about him to his face? What THEN?!"

Tigress actually LAUGHS at this prospect, and she says: "Do YOU honestly think it will make a difference?! Bubble Bass is GOING to the Final Three with me, regardless of ANYTHING you can say or DO to him! And besides, the Penalty Vote rule IS still in place, lest you forget THAT important fact, so if you TRY to mess with Bubble Bass, YOU will be the one, going home!" Johnny says: "RATS!" Tigress says: "Now, if you excuse me, I have a challenge to win." Fee says: "What makes you think there IS a challenge to win!" Tigress says: "Hello! If all the Power Pandas are out looking for a challenge, there MUST be a challenge that will be taking place! It's just LOGIC!" Fee says: "Oh, it's logic all right; it's Insane Troll Logic, and I can't BELIEVE that I personally KNOW what that is!" Tigress exits her room, and knocks on Bubble Bass' door. Bubble Bass' Mom answers it, and Tigress asks: "Hey, Bubble Bass, who's your NEW girlfriend?!" Bubble Bass' Mom angrily says: "WHY YOU LITTLE--!!!!" Bubble Bass quickly GRABS his mother's fin arms, and he says: "Don't hit her, DON'T HIT HER, you'll ONLY make her MAD!!!!" Bubble Bass' Mom says: "She's ALREADY MAD!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Hitting Tigress won't do any good! If she can walk across a field of burning HOT coals and NOT feel any pain, than I highly DOUBT that you hitting her, would even make HER flinch! TAKE MY WORD FOR IT! Tigress, this is, my mom!" Tigress coughs, and she says: "Forgive me for my earlier assumption, Miss...?" Bubble Bass' Mom says: "Bonnie; Bonnie Bass. Like, 'My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean'. I was named after the song, in case you were wondering!" Tigress asks: "Does EVERYONE in your family have this alliteration deal going for you?" Bonnie says: "Oh, wouldn't YOU like to know?" Tigress says: "Yes, I would!" Bonnie says: "Too bad! You insulted ME to my face, and quite frankly, I don't like your lousy attitude! And before you do ANYTHING, need I remind you that my son is WATCHING your every action, and he doesn't take too kindly, to ANYONE who threatens his mother!"

Johnny says: "WOAH!!!! Did YOU just TAUNT Cthulu?!" Tigress says: "That's NOT the name of that particular trope, and YES, she did! But, seeing as how I value Bubble Bass' friendship and alliance too much, I shall take the moral high road, and let it slide! Besides, we've got more pressing matters to deal with!" Bubble Bass asks: "Such as?" Tigress says: "The Power Pandas are out combing the island for something. No doubt, they want to know WHY there has been no challenge today! If I know Sniz and Fondue as well as I think I do, there MUST be a challenge, that needs to be taken care of!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, you're probably right! You usually ARE!" Tigress asks: "SEE, Fee?! Bubble Bass thinks my logic is sound!" Fee says: "Statistically speaking, I suppose SOMEBODY has to think so!" Tigress says: "You are SO lucky we are in the presence of an actual parental GUARDIAN here!" Fee asks: "What's THAT supposed to mean?!" Tigress scoffs, and she says: "You're TOO young to know! Now, let's go!" (Confessional) Tigress groans, and she says: "What a bunch of WHINERS!!!! They're all acting like this is Kindergarden or something, and that I'm not giving them the time to take their regularly scheduled naps! I NEVER took a nap when I was training with Master Shifu, and I turned out just fine!" / Fee says: "Tigress and that STUPID Pendant of Life! If it weren't for THAT stupid protection, she'd be OUT on HER sorry butt! I'm almost tempted to THROW this challenge, JUST to get that Pendant of Life out of play! Hopefully, Johnny will be SMART enough, to NOT let it fall into HER hands a THIRD time!" / Johnny says: "Oh, Tigress is DEFINITELY on her A-Game, I'll give her THAT much! But just remember, the Pendant of Life is ONLY good until the Final Six! After that, you have to actually WIN the challenges to survive, and you've already made an enemy of EVERYONE except for Po and Bubble Bass in this game! And trust me, if you're stubborn enough to TRY and eliminate Po, it will prove to be your OWN undoing! Even I'M smart enough to realize THAT!" /

Bubble Bass says: "My mom has spunk, I'll give her that much, but I was NOT about to let my mom get her FINS bitten off by Tigress! As far as I'm concerned, it's better to keep my head down WITH Tigress, as opposed to getting it bitten OFF by her!" / Bonnie Bass says: "Okay, someone SERIOUSLY didn't HUG Tigress enough as a child! I'm certainly NOT going to hug her, though! Not unless I'm wearing FULL body armor or something like that!" (End Confessional) The Power Pandas and Killer Prawns all search the Island. Until eventually, both teams come across a cave, where Fondue and General Barracuda are! Fondue says: "So, you both FINALLY showed up!" Danny says: "What do you MEAN, we finally showed up?! We NEVER got any word about there being a challenge!" Fondue says: "That's impossible! I told General Barracuda MYSELF to tell you there was a challenge, and--!" Fondue REALIZES what General Barracuda has done, and Fondue asks: "You DID tell them there was going to BE a challenge, didn't YOU?!" General Barracuda says: "And what if I didn't? I'm 6 foot 4, and FULL of muscle, while you're a four foot NOTHING!" Bonnie Bass is panting, as she FINALLY catches up, and she says: "Okay! Somebody BETTER tell me what is going ON--!" And she STOPS when she SEES General Barracuda! Bonnie says: "Horatio Barracuda?!" General Barracuda is SHOCKED, and asks: "Bonnie Carp?!" Tigress asks: "Your maiden name is Carp?!" Bonnie says: "It's Bonnie Bass now, Horatio!" General Barracuda says: "Bonnie Bass, as in BOBBY Bass?! I introduced YOU two!" Bonnie says: "I THINK you gave UP your vote on who I chose to date and eventually MARRIED when you STOPPED dating me after only SIX months after a series of WILD escapades together, just because you got the promise of a life-time from Master Coelaceanth, which I TOLD you was to good to be true! And while I've HAD a good life, you STILL managed to find a way to ruin the life of Ambrosia!" General Barracuda says: "I had no way of KNOWING that Master Coelaceanth was going to target Ambrosia, and I did everything I could to try to keep her safe! It's just...I never thought--." Bonnie finishes by saying: "--That I would HAVE a life after YOU left?! Well, I DID have a life, and a GOOD life! A darn, REALLY darn good life! So, are you STILL leaving a blazing trail of wreckage behind you, or have you filled up your quota for your life?" General Barracuda asks: "Why are you asking? Are you LOOKING for a date?" Bonnie says: "With ANYONE BUT YOU!"

Bubble Bass says: "Woah! You two KNEW each other; and DATED?!" General Barracuda says: "I didn't KNOW Bonnie...Bass was YOUR mother! If I had known, you would've been the FIRST to know!" Bonnie says: "Well, it's nice to know you actually HAVE some standards!" Fondue says: "Contestants, Bonnie, General Barracuda, could we all focus please?! We have an important challenge to focus on!" Jenny says: "All right, so get on with it, already!" Fondue says: "Tonight, you are going to go searching for the lost treasure of...The TOONIES!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "The Toonies?! Doesn't that sound AWFULLY similar to a mid 1980's movie executive produced by Steven Spielberg, directed by Richard Donner, and starring a young Sean Astin, and an elderly Mary Ramsey as the main villain?!" Danny says: "A whole PLOT reference to a 1980's movie?! Is that REALLY the BEST that you could come up with?!" (Confessional) Fondue groans, and he says: "NOBODY appreciates a good pop culture reference anymore! Sometimes, I wonder why I even BOTHER!" / Bubble Bass says: "I STILL can't get over the fact that my MOM and General Barracuda actually DATED each other! Although to be fair, I can't really BLAME my mom! General Barracuda isn't exactly the type of guy you would just turn down! Although, from what it sounds like, it sounds like General Barracuda left HER! Some guys are HARD to figure out, and that's coming from someone who IS a guy to begin with!"

(End Confessional) Fondue says: "Anyways, here is how the challenge is going to work. You will enter the cave, and there will be obstacles you will have to get past! First, the DREADED Organ of Doom! You have to play the notes CORRECTLY, or you will be magically ejected back to the entrance, and have to try again! There is also, the KRACKEN from 'Catscratch'! You will have to beat HIM, in order to board the Pirate Ship! Finally, you will have to take the REQUIRED treasure, but not ANYTHING else, from One Eyed Billy!" Fee says: "One Eyed Billy? Was that the BEST parody name you could come up with?" Fondue seriously says: "Don't judge me. And once you have the treasure, be the first CONTESTANT to escape with the treasure, and WIN immunity for yourself! Just be sure to watch out for Karen, Plankton, and the DREADED Yeti Crab who is said to haunt this cave!" Danny says: "Don't you mean, 'Team', and 'Your Team'?" Fondue says: "EHHH! Wrong! BOTH teams will be attending tonight's Elimination Ceremony, which means ANY contestant from EITHER of the team's, could wind up getting eliminated tonight! So, this will DEFINITELY make your strategizing plans that much HARDER to pull off THIS time around!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "CRUD!!!! I KNOW why Fondue is doing this! He is trying to PURPOSEFULLY engineer a challenge, where if I don't win, I could use the Pendant of Life for myself, but I would PROBABLY lose Bubble Bass in the process! Well, he's going to have to do a LOT better than that, because I am GOING to win this challenge, NOBODY is going to STOP me, and while it PAINS me to do it, I will HAVE to use the Pendant of Life of Bubble Bass, if for no other reason but to make SURE, that he doesn't get eliminated!" / Fee says: "Well, it looks like I won't HAVE to throw this challenge after all! It just got a LOT more interesting!" /

Po says: "This is definitely going to be a tricky challenge, but I've got to do my best to win it, and TRY to keep the rest of my team safe! After all, Tigress has proven that she is NOT going to go easy on me or our team, so I can't afford to go easy on her or HER team! It's nothing personal; I just hope she realizes that!" (End Confessional) Johnny says: "Wait a minute! The Power Pandas have one more contestant than WE do! They need to sit someone out!" Fondue says: "No need! You have Bubble Bass' Mom, Bonnie, to help you! She will be a fifth member, for this challenge only!" Bonnie says: "Lucky me, I didn't sign ON for this challenge, I just came to spend some quality time with my son!" General Barracuda says: "Glad I don't have to DO anything!" Fondue says: "Actually, you DO! Since you thought it would be FUNNY not to tell anybody about this challenge, I'm making YOU personally responsible for the safety of EVERYONE, for this challenge! Maybe then, you will think TWICE about whether the potential downsides, of doing something YOU think is funny, will be WORTH the potential pain and agony you might go through!" Bonnie says: "Wouldn't be the FIRST time General Barracuda did something that he didn't think through." General Barracuda asks: "What's THAT supposed to mean?!" Tigress asks: "Who cares?! I just want to WIN this! And I can say 'I', this time around, since only the contestant that comes out FIRST, will be safe!" Fee says: "You'll STILL have to use your Pendant of Life, anyways! You can't AFFORD for us to target Bubble Bass, can you?!" Tigress says: "A small price to pay to eliminate YOU! Besides, I'll just FIND the Pendant of Life AGAIN! I am a MASTER, of finding things that are valuable, and NOBODY is going to beat me in THAT department!" And Fee gulps nervously!

(Confessional) Fee says: "Oh, boy! I'm in trouble...I mean, in more trouble than usual! If I don't win this challenge, Tigress might eliminate me for SURE, and that's even if she DOESN'T win, and has to use the Pendant of Life on herself! I'm certainly not going to last much longer, as long as Tigress has this, 'It's All About Me' attitude going around here. I might have to take some of that treasure for myself! At least THAN, I can return to my parents, having SOMETHING to show for all my efforts!" / Tigress says: "I'm not letting ANYONE who crosses me, escape from my wrath! If they want to MESS with the tiger, they're GOING to get the fangs, AND the claws!" (End Confessional) Fondue says: "For individual immunity, both teams, get on your mark, get set, GO!!!!" And both teams, General Barracuda, and Bonnie, enter the cave, hoping desperately to win the coveted immunity! Sniz finally appears, and he says: "And they are OFF! Every contestant wants to win immunity, but there can be only ONE!!!!" Fondue asks: "And just where have YOU been all this TIME?!" Sniz asks: "Wouldn't YOU like to know?!" Fondue says: "Yes, I would." Sniz says: "Well, I'm afraid I cannot tell you THAT now! It shall be revealed at the PROPER time!" Fondue says: "Well, good things are worth waiting for!" Sniz says: "Just like the conclusion to this episode! We'll find out who wins this challenge of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, right after, some required messages, from our sponsors." /

(Commercial Break) / The commercials end, and it opens up on Marlene, outside of the cave, and she says: "Hey! I'm FINALLY in the episode! The two teams have been informed of their task at hand, and are starting to make their way through the mysterious cave. However, they're about to find out that there are some BIZARRE things in the cave, that while they logically SHOULDN'T be in there, they are, thanks to the dark magic of Anti-Cosmo. Let's switch to our camera drones, and find out what those things are!" / The camera switches to the two teams, who are looking around for their first obstacle, the Organ of Doom, when all of the sudden, SOMETHING makes a WEIRD noise! Tigress waves her hands and says: "P.U!!!! SOMETHING stinks in here!" Johnny Krill winces, and he says: "Sorry about that; I sometimes release gas when I'm nervous!" Tigress rolls her eyes, and she says: "Not YOU, you brain dead MORON; I LITERALLY smell something ELSE that stinks to high HEAVEN!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Now that you mention it, you're right! Something DOES smell in here, and it smells a whole lot WORSE than that time I was in that swamp with Patrick!" Johnny Krill asks: "Wasn't that a dream?" Bubble Bass says: "That's what Patrick thought, to. But Sandy told me that she SAW us running around in the swamp, so we somehow got transported there, than got transported back to Bikini Bottom!" Jenny says: "Fascinating. It's times like this that make me GLAD I'm a robot, and was made WITHOUT the capacity to smell things!" Fee says: "You know; there's only ONE thing that can make a smell THAT BAD; Plankton cooking one and/or more of his Chum recipes!" And sure enough, they ALMOST bump right into the Chum Bucket, which has MAGICALLY been transported there, thanks to Anti-Cosmo's magic! Fee says: "I rest my case!"

(Confessional) Fee says: "When you spend eight years of your life living in Treebark, you quickly learn how to tell the GOOD smells, from the BAD smells! It's really handy when you have to identify, what smells like Miriam Beaks' home-baked lasagna, and what smells like Kratz the Skunk's dirty BUTT farts!" / Tigress does a HEAD pound on one of the cafeteria tables, and she says to herself: "Just eight...seven and half more episodes left that I have to be SURROUNDED by idiots, before I beat ALL of them, and have the title to myself! It's NEVER been about the money for me, it's ALWAYS been about the title!" / Johnny Krill says: "I thought the whole point of Tigress TRYING to form an alliance with me, was that it would get me SOME shred of respect! And instead, Tigress has been TRYING to usurp my leadership title from me since day one of the alliance, and that's AFTER she had the NERVE to tell me that the leadership title was completely MEANINGLESS in the first place! Well, if it's so meaningless, why does she even WANT it THAT badly?! Is she THAT addicted to winning?! Well, let me say one thing about Tigress; having ALL the strength, all the speed, and all the stamina in the world, means absolutely NOTHING if you DON'T have FRIENDS to enjoy it with! If she doesn't WATCH her attitude, she's going to find herself without a FRIEND in the world! Which, in my opinion, is a fate worse than death!" / Bubble Bass says: "The biggest reason why I brought that weird fact up, is the fact that I'm TRYING to remind Tigress of the fact, that our team is STRUGGLING TOGETHER! No man, or woman, is an island, and we have GOT to pull all of our strengths together, if we want to get through this! If I can learn this fact, than TIGRESS has got to learn it as well. Alliance partner or not, even someone like ME has their limits! She's just lucky that I'm a lot more TOLERANT and smart about it than many of the other contestants on this show are." (End Confessional)

Plankton runs out of the Chum Bucket, and he says: "Well, what do we have here? CUSTOMERS! You guys are SO lucky! I almost NEVER get customers!" Bubble Bass dryly says: "Gee, I wonder why?" Plankton says: "It's because I don't have the money to advertise, like Mr. Krabs does! Who knew that ONE commercial was all it took for Mr. Krabs to dominate the restaurant industry of Bikini Bottom?! I certainly didn't!" Private says: "Kowalski, what do you think we should do?" Kowalski says: "Statistically speaking, Plankton and Karen are adversaries we SHOULD avoid! However, we HAVE been told to look for an Organ of Doom! And seeing how this IS Plankton we're talking about, who's known to use INSTRUMENTS of TORTURE, it stands to reason that he MIGHT have an Organ of Doom! I say we go in!" Bonnie Bass says: "Well, let's hope it's a LOT better than General Barracuda's cooking! The one time I let him cook for me, I got MORNING sickness!" General Barrcuda says: "Well, how was I supposed to know that Mayonnaise and Horse Radish wouldn't mix WELL together in a jambalaya stew?! At least I've never made it AGAIN!" Danny says: "We should ALL be so lucky!" Danny reverts to being Rodney Dangerfield, and he says: "Especially because I have no luck! One time, I stayed at a hotel in West Wendover, Nevada. The hotel rooms were nice enough, but the chicken and mashed potatoes I ate, LITERALLY caused me to lose my dinner, so I never ate THERE again!" Private says: "I don't think I'm EVER going to get USED to that!" Danny reverts to being Bette Davis, and she says: "Join the crowd. It's WORSE than having to act for TELEVISION shows, REALLY it is! Because the screen was NEVER as big as it was in the theaters!" Po says: "Danny, FOCUS! We need to explore the restaurant, and see what we can find!" Danny reverts to being Marlon Brando, and he says: "Very well, as long as they don't serve raw eggs and under-cooked beef, like a bum!"

(Confessional) Po says: "Don't get me wrong, I think Danny has been unusually funny in certain situations. Unfortunately, he's seeming to lack a LOT of focus lately, and it's NOT really conducive to our long term game plan! Personally, I hope it doesn't come down to it, but if worst comes to worst, and I can't secure an immunity tonight, I might have to vote Danny off for the good of our team. It's nothing personal." / Bubble Bass says: "You know, if Plankton spent HALF as much effort towards developing a better FOOD recipe for his restaurant meals, as opposed to trying to STEAL the Krabby Patty Secret Formula, he might actually GET a few decent regular customers ONCE in a while! Not that I would ever go there! Spongebob may only be tolerable to me on my BEST days, but at least he knows how to cook a Krabby Patty like nobody else can do!" / Kowalski says: "Plankton is known for two things; being 1% evil, and taking an EXTRAORDINARY amount of time, to perform a harmonica solo! Naturally, Plankton has a lot of pent-up anger and resentment inside him, so he's going to want to unleash that in any way he can! As far as I'm concerned, getting to spoil any evil plans he has, as WELL as winning immunity, would be a major BONUS for me as far as I'm concerned!" / Bonnie says: "I've heard it said that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. While that seems to be true for my son, the same can't be said for General Barracuda. He seems more interested in proving himself capable of doing things BETTER than anyone else, than he is in my home-cooked meals! Personally, it's hard figuring out just exactly what it is, that goes on through General Barracuda's head!" / General Barracuda says: "I WOULD tell exactly what goes on in my head, but it's full of Classified Information, that I can't afford to have fall into the wrong hands! It's nothing personal!" / Private says: "I hope Danny can get his problem all sorted out soon!" / Danny says: "No doubt about it. Solving this problem, is TRICKIER than defeating Vlad Plasmus was!" (End Confessional)

Kowalski says: "All right, Plankton, impress us! Show us your FINEST foods!" Plankton laughs, and he says: "Walk RIGHT this way!" General Barracuda says: "WAIT! As the one responsible for everyone's safety, I think Bonnie and I should go in first, just to make sure everything is on the level!" Bonnie says: "Come on! You're trying to win me over NOW?!" General Barracuda says: "I've been WIDOWED for the past eighteen years! I think it's high time I got some DECENT romance in my life again! And seeing as how there's nobody ELSE here who even respects me BESIDES you, than you're my best chance for a working relationship!" Bonnie says: "Lucky me! You're just lucky that I'm a widow myself, or I wouldn't even CONSIDER your proposal!" General Barracuda says: "You called it a PROPOSAL! We're making progress!" Bonnie says: "Statistically speaking, you were BOUND to make some sooner or later!" General Barracuda groans, and says: "STILL with the attitude, even after ALL these years!" (Confessional) General Barracuda says: "Even now, Bonnie is still a beauty to me. But when she brings up that attitude of hers...I just find it HARD to be around a woman, who is as SNARKY as I can be!" / Bonnie says: "Don't get me wrong, I would LOVE for General Barracuda to be with me! BUT...he's going to have to prove himself before I let him back into MY life...AGAIN!!!!" / Plankton laughs, and he says: "Heh, heh, heh! Those FOOLS are going to walk RIGHT into my trap!" (End Confessional) General Barracuda and Bonnie Carp walk a FEW feet into the restaurant, only to WALK right into a HUGE pit of QUICKSAND!!!! Bonnie says: "Oh, BARNACLES!!!!" General Barracuda says: "Bonnie, language! There's a CHILD present! Namely, Fee!" Fee says: "I don't get what the big deal is, it's just a WORD to me!" Bubble Bass says: "Don't MOVE, you'll just sink faster!" Bonnie says: "NO!!!! Really, do you think?!" General Barracuda says: "Don't panic! It's not that bad! The only thing we would HAVE to worry about, is if there is a..." (PLOP!!!!)

General Barracuda's mood sours, and he finishes: "A void collapse. Bubble Bass, find something to pull us out of here!" Bubble Bass says: "I'll see if I can find something in Jenny's arsenal of tools!" And Jenny and Bubble Bass rush out of the restaurant! General Barracuda says: "Everyone else, go get help!" Fee sarcastically asks: "Oh, yeah! Like, WHERE?!" General Barracuda says: "Search the cave, search the restaurant, search ANYWHERE! Just get HELP!!!!" Tigress says: "Right! YOU guys go do that, and I'M going to find the Organ of Doom! And maybe kick Plankton's BUTT while I'm at it!" And Tigress once AGAIN leaves everyone else to their devices! Johnny groans, and he says: "Not AGAIN!!!! Not TWICE, in the SAME SEASON!!!! Somebody's got to put a TRACKING COLLAR or something on that tiger!" And everyone who's not in the quicksand, runs after Tigress! Bonnie says: "General Barracuda, if we don't make it out of here, there's something I have to tell you about Bubble Bass!" General Barracuda says: "Bonnie, I know you're upset, that he's fat, Brilliant, but lazy, and a bit of a snob, but over the last few challenges, he's proven to me that he can be a real stand-up guy, he just needs the right incentive!" Bonnie says: "Bubble Bass isn't his real name, it's a nickname he gave himself." General Barracuda says: "I didn't know that!" Bonnie says: "His real name IS Horatio!" General Barracuda SOMEHOW doesn't get it, and he says: "That's nice." Bonnie seriously says: "HORATIO BARRACUDA the Second. YOU'RE his father!" General Barracuda shouts: "HOW IN THE H-E DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS DID YOU LET HIM GET THAT FAT?!!!" Bubble Bass and Jenny run back in, and Bubble Bass says: "I found a tool! Grab this!" And Jenny throws what LOOKS like a big, THICK vine, and pulls Bonnie out of the quicksand! Bubble Bass says: "Now it's your turn, General!" They throw it again, and it's a ROBOTIC snake! General Barracuda shouts: "Great BARRIER REEF! What is that THING?!!!" Jenny says: "It's just a trick I picked up from Mega Man, it's no big deal!"

General Barracuda panics, and he says: "You got to throw something else! Don't you have a rope?!" Jenny says: "We already looked! I don't HAVE a rope system installed into me, the Snake Coil is what I've GOT!!!!" General Barracuda says: "You know, I think I can feel the bottom!" Bubble Bass says: "There bottom is TOO FAR DOWN! Just GRAB the snake!" General Barracuda SCREAMS: "STOP CALLING IT THAT!!!!" Bonnie says: "What do you WANT us to CALL it?!" General Barracuda yells: "GRAB THE ROPE!" Jenny, Bonnie, and Bubble Bass all look at each other, and say: "Grab the rope!" General Barracuda finally does, they pull him to safety, and Jenny retracts her Snake Coil! Bubble Bass says: "GEEZ, of all the things you COULD be scared of, YOU'RE scared of SNAKES?!" General Barracuda says: "I have a VERY good reason, I might be able to EXPLAIN it to you, some day!" Bonnie says: "Bubble Bass, meet your REAL father, General, Horatio Barracuda!" Bubble Bass laughs, and he says: "After 24 years, NOW you get a sense of humor!" (Beat) Bubble Bass looks at his mom, and he says: "HOLY NEPTUNE, YOU'RE SERIOUS?!!!" And Plankton and Karen rush in, with Johnny Krill as a hostage! Johnny nervously says: "I...found help!" Bonnie groans, and she says: "Some help!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass is dumbstruck, and he says: "No WAY!!!! General Barracuda is my REAL father ALL ALONG?!!! How didn't I see it SOONER?! We have the SAME scale color, the same devotion to stubborness, the same capacity for doing questionably moral things, but still thinking of ourselves as good guys...I'm just saying, it makes a LOT more sense in retrospect!" / General Barracuda says: "I should have KNOWN about this a LOT sooner! For one thing, I would've had the DECENCY to pay for Child Support in the event that she didn't EVEN get married, and she should have CALLED me, as soon as her husband got HOOKED!" / Jenny says: "I don't think I'll EVER fully understand biological family arrangements!" / Johnny says: "Come ON!!!! Who ELSE was I going to get on such short notice?!" (End Confessional)

The camera switches to Fee, who has found the Yeti Crab, locked up in a storage room in the Chum Bucket! Fee looks on in admiration, and she says: "WOW! You are SO huge!" The Yeti Crab is locked up in chains, and is groaning: "AHHH!!!! AHHH!!!!" Fee looks on in empathy and sympathy, and she says: "Poor guy, did that mean old Plankton and Karen catch you and lock you up against your will?" The Yeti Crab nods his head, and grunts: "Uh-huh, uh-huh." Fee says: "Well, don't you worry! I'm going to find something to get you out of here, and I'll even take you back to live with me with my parents! I've always WANTED to have an older brother who was MORE intelligent than Foo is! Now, let's see what I can find here." Fee digs around the boxes, and she pulls out what looks like a HUGE diamond!!!! Fee says: "I hit the JACKPOT!!!! My status is assured!" (Confessional) Fee says: "Looks like Lady Luck has finally decided to smile upon me! I wanted something valuable, and I found it! Looks like Fee has hit a home run! As soon as this challenge is over, I'm taking the first opportunity I can to get out of this game! The sooner I'm AWAY from Tigress' fangs and claws, the better!" (End Confessional) Fee says: "This diamond should be sharp enough to cut those chains! But before I do, you have to promise to NOT bite or maim ANYBODY except the bad guys, Plankton and Karen! Do you promise?" The Yeti Crab grunts, and he says: "Uh-huh, uh-huh!" Fee seriously says: "PROMISE, promise? Not a FAKE promise. You're claws aren't CROSSED, are they?" And the Yeti Crab shows it's chained, but uncrossed, claws! Fee says: "Very well, than! It's a deal!" And Fee SLAMS the diamond against the chains, cutting the chains off, and FREEING the Yeti Crab! Fee says: "You're free!" And the Yeti Crab picks Fee up, and puts her on his back, than the Yeti Crab runs STRAIGHT through the walls of the Chum Bucket, and back into the cave at a break-neck speed! Fee shouts: "WHOO-HOO! I am SO GLAD I got ME one of THESE!!!!" (Confessional)

Fee says: "A lot of people say that a dog is a man's best friend. But for THIS girl, my best friend, besides Harvey Beaks, is a great big, Yeti Crab! Everyone should BE so lucky to HAVE one!" / The Yeti Crab is seen kissing his huge arm biceps, as if flattered by Fee's compliment. (End Confessional) The camera switches, to show that Karen is driving a pick-up truck, through a hollowed out portion of the cave. Inside the truck, General Barracuda, Bonnie Bass, Johnny Krill, Jenny, and Bubble Bass have all been tightly bound and tied by Plankton, who is busy holding a laser gun in case they even THINK about escaping! Karen shouts: "It won't be too long before we get these guys to the Kracken! While the Kracken is busy feasting on THEM, we'll be able to snatch all the treasure for ourselves!" Plankton says: "And we'll FINALLY be able to live the rest of our lives on easy street! Our son Chip will be so PROUD of us!" Bubble Bass says: "I'm STILL having trouble understanding this whole thing! How could YOU actually BE my father?! You're NOT my father!" General Barracuda seriously says: "You bet your BIG BUTT that I am, and I've got NEWS for you, kid, you're going to STRAIGHTEN up your act, help your mom out more around the house, and be more active in life!" Bubble Bass asks: "What happened to, 'There ain't a darn thing wrong with you, and don't let anybody tell you any different'?!" General Barracuda says: "That was BEFORE I was your father!" Bubble Bass says: "You're NOT my father!" Bonnie says: "BOBBY Bass, the man I MARRIED, was a good, VERY good man! He was heavy-set, green, and LOVED a good home-cooked meal! I wasn't going to let my son grow up without a father, and he seemed like a good, dependable man who could fit the bill of being your surrogate father. Which is why I wanted to feed you so you would look LIKE him, and never question your heritage! The REAL reason I got morning sickness that one time that General Barracuda cooked for me, is because I discovered that I was PREGNANT with my son!"

General Barracuda sarcastically says: "That's REALLY nice! Why didn't you TELL me that happened on the day that it happened?!" Bonnie says: "I was GOING to, but then YOU interrupted me with your VERY important LETTER, saying that Master Coelaceanth had accepted YOU, and that YOU were LEAVING me!" General Barracuda says: "I think we were both WELL aware that a relationship was NEVER going to work out between us?!" Bonnie says: "How would YOU know?! You never even TRIED!!!!" General Barracuda says: "Because we NEVER had an ARGUMENT that I WON!!!!" Bonnie says: "Well, it's NOT MY FAULT you couldn't keep up!" Karen shouts: "SHUT UP!!!! I've HAD IT! I've had ENOUGH of your LOVER'S quarrel!" General Barracuda yells: "WE'RE NOT LOVERS!!!!" Johnny Krill adds: "YET!" Plankton begins to put a gag over Bonnie's mouth, in an attempt to stop her talking! General Barracuda says: "Why didn't you TELL me that I was going to have a son?! I had a RIGHT to know!" Bonnie, muffled, yells: "You VANISHED to Atlantis with Master Coelaceanth and Ambrosia after you LEFT me!" General Barracuda says: "I WROTE!" Bonnie, muffled, yells: "Yeah, a YEAR later! By THEN, Bubble Bass was BORN, and I was MARRIED!!!!" General Barracuda asks: "Why are you even BOTHERING to tell ANYBODY about this NOW?!" Bonnie, muffled, yells: "Because I thought we were going to DIE!!!!" General Barracuda gets serious, and he says: "Not YET, we're NOT!!!!" General Barracuda LEAPS up, QUICKLY kicks Plankton into the side of the truck wall, grabs the keys with his teeth, gives them to Bubble Bass, so he can undo the locks on General Barracuda's arms, and than he procees to remove the gag from Bonnie Bass, and frees everyone else. Bonnie calmly says: "I'm sure I'm not the only woman besides Ambrosia, who know what it's like to be around you. I'm sure there must have been PLENTY of women in YOUR life who have had such an experience."

General Barracuda reluctantly nods his head, and he honestly says: "Well, there were a FEW, but they ALL had the same problem." Bonnie asks: "What was that?" General Barracuda romantically says: "They weren't YOU, Bonnie, they weren't you!" And they kiss each other on the lips! (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Okay, this probably isn't the most IDEAL way to rekindle a relationship, or to even START one, but at least it's SOMETHING! Who knows?! Maybe Blonda and I can go on our OWN adventures, as soon as she's up to it, of course!" / General Barracuda says: "In spite of all the differences we've had, I just couldn't help but fall back in love with her. I feel really bad about leaving her the way I did! I have to make it up to her, and be a GOOD husband to her, and a GOOD father to Bubble Bass! It's the least I could do, in order to atone for this whole mess!" / Bonnie says: "It's been quite a while since I've been kissed like that! That man truly DOES love me!" / Jenny says: "While I do have SOME concept about romance is, I don't THINK it's supposed to be THIS confusing!" / Johnny says: "I just wish that I could HAVE a romance, PERIOD!" (End Confessional) Karen shouts: "What's going ON back there?!" General Barracuda says: "Quiet!" And they quickly get down low to the ground! General Barracuda quietly asks Jenny: "Do you got a rocket launcher on you?!" Jenny pulls her programs up, and she says: "Sure do! Never leave home without one!" Bubble Bass asks: "Mom, what's the plan?" Bonnie laughs, and she says: "I don't think Horatio thinks THAT far ahead!" General Barracuda puts earmuffs over his gills, and he says: "You might want to cover your gills or hearing receptors!" Everyone quickly does so, and General Barracuda LAUNCHES the LOUD Rocket Launcher STRAIGHT forward into Karen's portion of the vehicle, causing the trunk and the actual driving portion the vehicle to split OFF from each other, Karen loses control, and CRASHES into a stalagmite, but is no worse for the wear!

The rest of the vehicle, is steadily going down a slant into the deeper portions of the cave! Johnny says: "Well, that's ONE problem down!" Jenny looks forward, and she says: "And one problem coming UP!!!!" And the path in the cave does a turn, but the vehicle DOESN'T, and it launches right off the path, and into an underground river! Johnny says: "Looks like we caught the EXPRESS to the lower part of the cave! We'll get to the Kracken in no time!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, I think you're bound to be right EVENTUALLY, I just hope that Tigress is doing all right, wherever she is!" / The camera switches to Tigress, as she has been searching through every section of the restaurant, and the cave, looking for the Organ of Doom! Tigress groans, and she says: "Oh, WHERE IS IT?!!! I should've WON this challenge FIFTEEN minutes AGO!!!! I SWEAR, Plankton and Karen are the WORST building and/or cave planners in HISTORY!!!! When I get my CLAWS on them, I will--!" Fee shouts: "Tigress! Over here!" And Tigress looks to where Fee is! And Tigress runs to her, and she sees that not only is Fee RIDING the Yeti Crab, she has FOUND the Organ of Doom! Tigress looks in genuine awe, and she says: "WOW! You TAMED the Yeti Crab?! You're more skilled than I thought!" Fee says: "Well, he's my friend/potential adopted big brother, but you've got the general idea!" The other Power Pandas appear, and Fee asks: "What kept you?!" Po says: "We ran into some old friends! Namely, Anti-Cosmo and his squandron of CLONE goons! It took us quite a while to get through his gamut of magical traps!" Tigress says: "At least you're all here! Now I can WIN this challenge!" Kowalski shouts: "Would you STOP THAT?!!! I'm getting REALLY sick of this, 'It's All About ME' attitude that you're giving everyone else! It's getting on my nerves!" Tigress says: "Are you saying you WANT to lodge a complaint against Master Shifu and the Furious Five?!"

Kowalski chortles, and he says: "Okay, who else?! So, you want to do this the HARD way, huh?!" Tigress seriously says: "Don't even THINK about it, SMALL fry!" Kowalski seriously says: "Oh YEAH?!" Tigress seriously says: "YEAH!!!!" And Kowalski PUSHES Tigress BACKWARDS, and her paws ACCIDENTALLY hit the chords on the Organ of Doom! It plays a FOREBODING tune, and a THIRD of the cave suddenly collapses to the LEFT of the contestants! Private asks: "What was that?!" Danny says: "Well, this IS the Organ of Doom!" There's a parchment of paper here!" Tigress looks at it, and she says: "It's a pressure-based mechanism! You have to play these chords in the RIGHT way, or else the cave is going to collapse, and we'll get sent right back to the start!" Private says: "Well, it's okay. Even TOONIES make mistakes! Just try not to make anymore!" Danny asks: "What's THAT all about?!" Private says: "I don't know. It just...sounded like the RIGHT thing to say!" (Confessional) Kowalski says: "I just want to state, for the record, that I had no way of knowing that playing a wrong tune on the Organ of Doom, would cause a section of the cave to collapse!" / Tigress says: "Kowalski has spunk! I'll give him that much! But if he TRIES to mess with ME again, it's NOT going to be pretty, for HIM!!!!" / Fee nods her head, and says: "Yep! Definitely making the RIGHT decision to get out of here, while I STILL can!" / Danny says: "Well, they certainly picked an appropriate NAME for the Organ of Doom! I just hope that it doesn't spell OUR doom!" (End Confessional) Tigress says: "Okay! The combination! This must be the musical knock!" And she plays a short, little jaunty tune, and Danny says: "Rachmaninoff." Kowalski says: "No, it's NOT!!!!" Danny says: "Well, it's classical, anyways!" But the organ clicks, and SWINGS the contestants around, and they SUDDENLY find themselves in an underground lagoon, and they see the pirate ship relatively close by! Private says: "There it is! There's the Pirate Ship of One-Eyed Billy!"

Kowalski says: "And the treasure that we need to find, is inside!" Po says: "WE must get that treasure!" Tigress says: "No! We MUST wait for Bubble Bass and the others first!" Danny says: "Hold it! Since when were YOU so concerned about the other contestants?!" Tigress says: "Don't you think this has been ALL too easy?! There MUST be a condition to winning OTHER than being the first contestant out, your WHOLE team has to come out first, TOO! Besides, it wouldn't be good for us to strand the other contestants behind!" Fee asks: "What even makes you think they're on their way?" Tigress says: "Trust me! I have a sixth sense about these things! They ARE on their way!" Private says: "You know, I have the strangest feeling that they are going to DROP in on us any minute now!" / The camera switches back to Bubble Bass and the others! Bubble Bass asks: "Are you able to get your GPS device up and running yet?" Jenny says: "It's been REALLY difficult with the lack of BARS down here, but I've almost got the map schematic of the cave system downloaded!" General Barracuda looks ahead, and he says: "Don't worry about THAT, yet!" Johnny asks: "Why?" Bubble Bass says: "Worry about the WATERFALL!!!!" And they drop down in the truck, except for Jenny, who uses her rocket boots to fly, and descends down gracefully. Jenny says: "I've got it! THREE times it drops on the way down!" Bonnie says: "THREE times, it DROPS?!" General Barracuda says: "Three times it drops!" Johnny asks: "What does THAT mean?!" General Barracuda points backwards, and he says: "Well, that was ONE..." And they see another waterfall ahead, and General Barracuda shouts: "TWO!!!!" And they drop again, except for Jenny, who once again flies, and descends gracefully! And General Barracuda looks, and sees the MOTHER of ALL cave waterfalls and General Barracuda weakly says: "Three." And the truck plummets for what FEELS like an eternity for them, but is really only a FEW seconds in reality! /

Kowalski says: "You know, Private, they STILL got to use the front door like everyone else! Just simmer down, okay?!" Danny HEARS something, and he says: "Guys, MOVE!!!!" And he pushes EVERYONE else out of the way, and Danny says: "Going Ghost!" And Danny QUICKLY turns phantom, and the truck CRASHES right OVER Danny's incorporeal form, and the others WEARILY stagger out of the truck, looking REALLY weary from the whole ordeal! Private says: "Oh, DEAR!!!! They really DID drop in on us!" Po says: "Never mind THAT!!!! They dropped in on DANNY!!!! Oh, DANNY!!!! Don't be DEAD, pal!!!!" Danny walks THROUGH the truck, and he says: "Who's dead? I'm fine!" Fee screams: "AHHH!!!! A GHOST!!!!" And she jumps RIGHT into the arms of the Yeti Crab! Kowalski says: "ASTOUNDING! A corporeal body, who can take on an incorporeal form! I've GOT to get a DNA sample, and reverse engineer it somehow!" Po says: "Okay, somebody BETTER give me some answers! What is the MEANING of all this?!" Private sighs, and he says: "Everyone this is Danny Fenton, otherwise known as, Danny Phantom!" Bubble Bass says: "No WAY! THE Danny Phantom?!" Tigress says: "I KNEW that there was something funny smelling in this cave! Turns out it was Danny Fenton all along!" Danny's body vibrates, and he suddenly shifts BACK into human form! Danny says: "What is going ON?!!!" And Danny gets his answer when the spirits of Marlon Brando, Bette Davis, and Rodney Dangerfield fly out of him! Marlon Brando's spirit says: "Danny, you've done it! You have PROVEN yourself a true contender, by risking YOUR life to save everyone else's and have done this contender proud! I give you my many years of acting skills, and toughness, as my reward to you. May you use it well." And Marlon Brando's spirit disappears. Bette Davis says: "You put on a WONDERFUL acting experience for me, REALLY you did! It's so nice to feel love and admiration again! And as such, I'm giving my passion and talent, to you! I'll see you in the pictures in my next life-time, REALLY I will!" And Bette Davis' spirit disappears.

Rodney Dangerfield says: "Well, I didn't think it would happen, but you didn't, you FINALLY gave me some respect! And to think, it only took you five and a half episodes of this show to do it! For giving me the sense of respect I've long looked for, I shall give you my sense of comedic timing and dry wit. And the knowledge of what kinds of movies to NOT star in, in case you want to have a respectable acting career! Thanks for everything, Danny! I hope to see you around in my next life-time!" And Rodney Dangerfield's spirit disappers! Po asks: "Okay, SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" Unfortunately, before Danny can say anything, the Giant Kracken from "Catscratch" appears, and it looks LARGE, and in charge! Danny says: "I'll explain later! Right now, WE need to take down this guy!" Tigress says: "Okay, YOU guys do that, while I take the treasure, and take all the glory of WINNING!!!!" And Tigress runs off towards the Pirate Ship! Johnny quickly runs after her, and Johnny says: "Not so FAST, Tigress! There's a TRAP on that SHIP!!!!" Johnny groans and says: "I can't BELIEVE Tigress is taking off AGAIN!!!! This feels like the Eight...THOUSANDTH time!" Fee says: "It hasn't been THAT often!" Johnny says: "I KNOW it hasn't! It just feels like it HAS!!!!" (Confessional) Fee says: "I am so SERIOUSLY NOT going to miss Tigress' attitude!" / Danny says: "I can't believe I actually did it! I fulfilled the last wishes of the famous celebrities, and I got all their skills and strengths to boot! Now, let's see how well it pays off against this Kracken!" (End Confessional) Danny says: "All right! Let me see what I can do! It's time to go GHOST, and give this Kracken a lesson! We're going BACK to School!" Fee asks: "WHAT?!" Kowalski says: "Rodney Dangerfield movie reference!" Danny goes ghost, and he flies around the Kracken, and he says: "Strength of Steve IRWIN!!!! Power of Marlon Brando! Agility of Bette Davis! Resourcefulness of Rodney Dangerfield!!!!"

And Danny flies RIGHT through the Kracken with a seemingly fatal blow, and it collapses into the lagoon! Jenny says: "Wow! That was an impressive FIGHT, Danny!" Danny says: "Thank you, Jenny! These skills are sure to be USEFUL in my fights, back in Caspar!" Private says: "You know, I heard that once you defeat a Kracken, you get a wish!" Bonnie says: "That's just an old wives tale! Who would ever believe such a thing..." The Kracken shouts: "Could be TRUE?!!!" And everyone stops dead in their tracks, as the Kracken rises up, and is flying over everybody else. The Kracken, with a voice like Maurice LaMarche says: "Young man, thou hast proven thine worth against me, and has beaten me in battle. For your courage and bravery, I shall grant you one wish in my power." Danny says: "Okay. I...wish for you to give immunity to Bubble Bass!" Bubble Bass says: "What?! Why me?!" Danny says: "Dude, you need it WAY more than I do! Tigress ISN'T going to keep you around forever! You NEED to eliminate HER, BEFORE she eliminates YOU!!!!" The Kracken says: "Very well, then! Immunity, shall now be given, to Bubble Bass!" And an Immunity Necklace appears around Bubble Bass! Tigress is busy GRABBING the treasure in the Pirate Ship, and she SEES the event, and she says: "WHAT?! Bubble Bass has WON IMMUNITY?! NO!!!!" Johnny FINALLY catches up, and he says: "Don't TOUCH One-Eyed Billy's--!!!!" But Tigress DOESN'T listen, and she tries to grab the treasure in the hands of the one-eyed skeleton fish, only for the skeleton to utter out an evil laugh, and Johnny weakly says: "Treasure." Suddenly, the CAVE starts to collapse in all around them! Tigress asks: "What's happening?!" Johnny says: "It's the trap of One-Eyed Billy! Anyone who tries to take what is RIGHTFULLY his, will cause the cave to collapse!" Tigress asks: "And you're ONLY telling ME about this now?!" Johnny asks: "Didn't you even SEE that 1980's movie?!" Tigress yells: "WHAT 1980's movie?!" Johnny says: "You know what? Escape now, argue later!" General Barracuda says: "Follow me, out this way!"

And the contestants and Bonnie Bass, quickly follow after General Barracuda, and they escape the cave system onto the beach shores of the island on Lake Michigan! Marlene waves the checkered flag, and she says: "It's over! It's ALL over!" Sniz says: "And it's about time, Bubble Bass WON immunity!" Tigress says: "I thought you SAID that whoever got the treasure out FIRST, would win immunity!" Sniz says: "True. However, I didn't know about the fact that by defeating a Kracken, you would get a wish. And since Danny Fenton decided to wish for Bubble Bass to get immunity, that wasn't against the rules. Therefore, Bubble Bass will be safe from elimination this night. Everyone else, is fair game!" General Barracuda says: "Speaking of Bubble Bass, turns out, he's MY son!!!!" Sniz shockingly asks: "YOUR son?!" General Barracuda says: "Don't worry, I'll treat him the same as any other contestant. In the meantime, there's something that I need to do!" Bonnie asks: "What's that?" General Barracuda seriously says: "Something that I should have done a LONG time ago, once I lost Ambrosia, and once you lost Bobby Bass. Bonnie Carp Bass, will you give this foolish man the chance he didn't take, and give it to me now? Will, you marry me?" Bonnie says: "Well, let me THINK about it...YES!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "I've got a FATHER!!!! I've got a father!" Danny says: "This has been ONE crazy night!" Sniz says: "And it's NOT over yet! We've got an elimination ceremony to attend! Everyone, to the campfire! It's time to VOTE someone off!"

(Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "I thought my mother would never love a man, the way she loved Bobby Bass. But as it turns out, she truly HAS loved General Barracuda all along! And you know? I've got the feeling that I'm going to love him to, in spite of his flaws. Looks like, he and I are more alike than we ever could have dreamed of. But at least, I'm going to be with Blonda and be the husband that she deserves!" / Danny says: "I HAD to give Bubble Bass the win, okay?! It was the RIGHT thing to do, as a hero! Plus, it's going to give me MAJOR bonus points in the Karma department!" / Po says: "Okay! Danny has been keeping WAY too many secrets from us! Not to mention, that with his ghostly powers, there's no telling WHAT kind of tricks he might pull on everyone else in order to get ahead! I'm sorry, but you've given us NO choice! We HAVE to vote you off!" / Tigress says: "Those jerks BETTER not be foolish enough to try to vote ME off! After all, I STILL have a Pendant of Life at my disposal, and now, I CAN use it on myself like I REALLY wanted to, instead of having to save the hide of Bubble Bass! It's nothing personal, MUCH!!!!" / Fee says: "I made it through the challenge, and I've got my Yeti Crab! All I need to do now, is leave the game!" (End Confessional) Everyone is at the campfire, and General Barracuda and Bonnie Bass are dressed up like a groom and bride. Marlene says: "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, to witness the union of General Horatio Barracuda, and Bonnie Carp Bass. If there is anyone here, who feels that these two should NOT be wed, speak now, or forever hold your peace. Do you, General Horatio Barracuda, take this woman, to be your lawfully wedded wife? Honor her, comfort her, keep her in sickness and in health, and keep only to her, so long as you both shall live?" General Barracuda says: "I do!" Marlene says: "And do you, Bonnie Carp Bass, take General Horatio Barracuda to be your lawfully wedded husband, as long as you both shall live?"

Bonnie says: "I do!" Marlene says: "Than by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss the bride!" The now wed couple kiss each other, and throw the bouquet, and Bubble Bass catches it! Private says: "Wow! You're getting married NEXT?!" Bubble Bass says: "At least I already KNOW who it is that I want to marry, which is better than a lot of people!" Sniz says: "Okay! Now that we got that ceremony out of the way, it's time to get onto the Elimination Ceremony! Now, you all know the drill! You can only vote for one contestant, but THIS time, you can vote for a contestant on EITHER team, as long as it's not Bubble Bass, who has immunity! Just remember, there IS the Pendant of Life to worry about, so make your choices WISELY!" Po whispers to Tigress: "Tigress, vote off Danny, and I promise that I WON'T vote you off!" Tigress says: "Deal!" (Confessional) Danny thinks about it, and crosses off Tigress' playing card. Danny says: "I might NOT get another SHOT at this!" / Private thinks about it, and crosses of Danny's playing card. Private says: "Sorry, chum. But it's TOO risky to try to vote off Tigress right now! It's nothing personal!" / Kowalski thinks about it, and crosses off Danny's playing card. Kowalski says: "Statistically speaking, you're more likely to get the boot, than Tigress is anyways." / Jenny crosses off Tigress' playing card without ANY hesitation! Jenny says: "Nothing personal, but I would rather want to get rid of you NOW, instead of waiting TOO long, and NOT being able to do it!" / Fee thinks about it, and crosses off her OWN playing card! Fee says: "Eh, I want to get eliminated ANYWAYS! There's no CHANCE Tigress doesn't want ME gone!" / Tigress crosses off Danny's playing card without ANY hesitation! Tigress says: "See you NEVER, liar!" / Bubble Bass thinks about it, but crosses off Danny's playing card. Bubble Bass says: "Nothing personal, but my alliance with Tigress HAS to come first! I'm sure YOU would do the same!" / Johnny crosses of Tigress' playing card WITHOUT any hesitation! Johnny says: "This time, you MIGHT be gone!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "Voting over! It's time to reveal--!" Tigress says: "Hold IT!!!! The Pendant of Life, says HI, AGAIN!!!!" And she slams down the Pendant of Life on a wooden stump! Johnny screams: "NOT AGAIN!!!!" Sniz says: "The Pendant of Life is genuine, that means ALL votes for Tigress will NOT count! One vote for Tigress, by Danny, doesn't count; one vote for Tigress, by Jenny, doesn't count; one vote for Tigress, by Johnny Krill, doesn't count; one vote for Fee by...FEE?!!!" Fee says: "I honestly thought that I was going to BE targeted!" Sniz says: "And everyone else voted for Danny. That means that Danny Fenton, safe marshmallows go to everybody, EXCEPT for you!" And Danny QUICKLY dodges the Anti-Fairy marshmallow, which HITS a small acorn tree, and it CAUSES the small acorn tree, and ALL the acorns on it, to grow to a GIGANTIC size!!!! Brittany quickly rushes out and says: "GIANT acorns! I'm NUTS about giant acorns, you know, being a chipmunk and all! I've GOT to eat one of these!" Danny says: "Brittany, I'm not sure that's such a good idea, Anti-Fairy magic MADE that giant acorn possible!" But Brittany pays no heed, and EATS the Giant Acorn anyways! Brittany says: "Oh, be quiet, Danny! I know what I'm doing!" Danny says: "I sure HOPE so!" Sniz says: "Danny, the teams have spoken. Pack up your bags, and leave!" / Danny heads to the Slingshot of Shame with his bags, when suddenly, Fee says: "Hold it! Got room for TWO?!" And she has her OWN bags ready, and Fondue says: "Hold on! Only DANNY has been eliminated tonight, NOT you!" Fee says: "Maybe so, but I am announcing RIGHT now, that I am QUITTING this game show with the Yeti Crab, and I'm taking THIS giant diamond with me!" And she pulls the giant diamond out of her hair! General Barracuda says: "Uh, Fee, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but that's actually NOT a diamond, it's Cubic Zirconium, which looks VERY similar to, but is NOT actually a diamond, it's not really WORTH much!"

Fee looks at it, and says: "Eh, I think I'll keep it anyways! Oh! I know what I can do with it! I can use it to make a set of false teeth for my brother Foo! And there's probably some other stuff I can do with it, to!" Danny says: "Well, at least you have some goals!" Fee says: "I'm just taking this opportunity to leave now, while I still CAN leave, in ONE piece! Good-bye everyone, and good luck to you all; you're going to need it against Tigress!" General Barracuda says: "Eh, suit yourself!" And after putting protective gear on Danny Fenton, the Yeti Crab, and Fee, he loads them all onto the Slingshot of Shame, and LAUNCHES it! Fee shouts: "WHOO-HOO! BYE GUYS!!!!" Sniz says: "Dang! Now we're one contestant SHORT of where we're SUPPOSED to be!" Than Sniz gets an idea, and says: "Oh, Brittany?!" Brittany says: "What now?!" Sniz asks: "Do you want to do the most funnest idea in the world, EVER?!" Brittany shouts: "Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times, YES!!!!" Sniz says: "Okay, then. As of right now, you are BACK in the game, as a Killer Prawn!" Brittany says: "Wait, back in the game, as a Killer Prawn AGAIN?! What happens if I get eliminated?!" Sniz says: "Well, obviously, I hope you're smart enough to not have it happen to you a SECOND time. And even if it does, I'll STILL pay you a standard intern paycheck for competing anyways." Brittany thinks about it, and asks: "Is it worth MORE than I'm getting paid right now?" Sniz says: "You better believe it!" Brittany says: "Than I'm in! At least I was smart enough to NEVER try to vote off Tigress, so I'm feeling pretty good about my chances!" And Brittany leaves to join in the hotel with the other Killer Prawns. Sniz turns around, and says: "And just like that, Danny and Fee are now OUT of the game, Brittany is now back IN the game, so we are down six contestants, and have eight more to go! What kind of challenge will our two teams face next? Well, whatever they face, it will be the LAST team challenge of this season! So be sure to tune in, for the NEXT episode, of 'Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!' I am SO good at this!" /

Episode Notes: Eliminated Contestants: #14: Bessie Higgenbottom ("The Mighty B!"). #13: Rico ("The Penguins of Madagascar"). #12: Katarra ("Avatar: The Last Airbender"). #11. Theodore Seville ("Alvinnnn!!!! And The Chipmunks"). #10. Danny Fenton ("Danny Phantom"). #9. Fee ("Harvey Beaks"). / Remaining Contestants: Brittany Miller (Killer Prawns), Bubble Bass (Killer Prawns), Jenny XJ9 (Power Pandas), Johnny Krill (Killer Prawns), Kowalski (Power Pandas), Po (Power Pandas), Private (Power Pandas), Tigress (Killer Prawns). / Danny Fenton gets eliminated in this episode, and Fee quits, making this the first (and only), Double Elimination this season. Karen, Plankton, the Yeti Crab, and the Kracken from "Catscratch" all make a cameo appearance in this episode, the latter even returning with the "Defeat a Kracken, you get a wish rule". Bubble Bass wins immunity for the second episode in a row. It is revealed that General Barracuda is Bubble Bass' biological father in this episode, which make Bubble Bass a half-brother to Pearl, and to Craig Mammalton. General Barracuda and Bonnie Bass get married in this episode. Plot references to this episode include "The Goonies" (the episode even features a reference to the movies' theme song, "The Goonies R Good Enough"), as well as "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull." / Personal Notes: While I wanted to have Danny follow a similar arc to Mike from "Total Drama Revenge of the Island", I didn't want to utilize the multiple-personality disorder, nor did I want to DRAG out his sub-plot for FAR longer than it was neccesary to. That's why I came up with the substitute, that Danny Fenton was being possessed by the spirits of famous deceased celebrities, and helping them out would help Danny gain their skills, and help put them to rest as well. Once Danny helped the famous spirits out, there was sadly no real plot for him left in the show, so he had to be the next one gone. As for Fee, I wanted to make her a more "Family Friendly" version of Anne Maria, which is why I DROPPED the Romantic Triangle angle from Fee, and had her more focused on trying to get something out of her time as a contestant on this season. Thankfully, getting the Yeti Crab and a giant Cubic Zirconium, was, as far as Fee was concerned, a nice consolation prize. Plus, Fee is probably going to be a LOT better off leaving now, compared to some other contestants who STILL have to deal with Tigress, that's for sure! / I hope you enjoyed reading this episode, as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

And time slows WAY down for Fruit Freak, as she fires tomatoes in slow motion, but D.O.G., uses his Cat of Nine Tails to whip them all away harmlessly!

Krash'ir says: “Hey! CAN Fruit Freak ACTUALLY fire tomatoes?”

Samson says: “Well, they ARE technically a fruit, ALL fruits have SEEDS, you know!”

Fruit Freak says: “Well, TECHNICALLY, I'm going to be firing Watermelon SEED bombs at you!”

Patsy says: “Phoenix Wind!”

And she spins her spear around like an electric windmill propeller, blowing ALL of Fruit Freak's seeds back at her! Fruit Freak says: “I've got SUCH a splitting headache!”

Samson says: “And it's about to get worse! Patsy, do that wind trick again! I've got an idea! Let's see if I can combine my fire attack in my swords, with your wind technique!”

Patsy says: “Sounds like a plan!”

Samson says: “Red Dragon Fire!”

And Samson's swords glow red hot, and he puts the flaming swords in front of Patsy's spinning spear, and the wind BLOWS the flames at Fruit Freak, scorching her, and bubbling up her insides!” Fruit Freak says: “YOW! I'm boiling hot!”

Coop says: “I think it's time to finish her off! Let's use the Thunder Cannon!”

The other Rangers say: “Right!”

All the Power Rangers say: “Activate Thunder Cannon!”

And a green cannon, with a Golden Dragon head, appears in their hands! D.O.G., says: “Channel your auras together...”

Fruit Freak says: “No, wait!”

All the Power Rangers say: “Fire Thunder Cannon!”

And the Aura energies from all five Thunder Rangers fire at Fruit Freak, blasting her into her individual fruits! The people she turned into fruits, are then returned to normal! Samson says: “All right, we did it! Our first monster down!” /

Queen Beryl says: “NO! It CAN'T be over!”

Kunzite says: “I thought this might happen, which is why I enacted a little extra magic ritual on this Youma. It's about to get a WHOLE lot bigger!” /

Than suddenly, the fruits that came apart from Fruit Freak begin to vibrate, and they begin to REJOIN together, and GROW into a gigantic monster! Fruit Freak says: “Okay, Power Punks! It's time for Round Two of this fight, and I WON'T be playing NICE this time!”

Krash'ir says: “I HATE it when these monsters WON'T stay down!”

D.O.G., says: “We can handle them! We need THUNDERZORD power, now!” /

Coop says: “Green Lion Thunderzord Power!” / Patsy says: “Pink Phoenix Thunderzord power!” / Krash'ir says: “Blue Kirin Thunderzord Power!” / D.O.G., says: “Yellow Korin Thunderzord power!” / Samson says: “Red Dragon Thunderzord Power!” /

The five Thunderzords come together, as a familiar theme song plays. The song sings: “They've got, a power and force that you've never seen before. They've got the ability to morph and to even up the score. No one, will ever take them down. The power lies on their si-yi-yi-yi-ide!”

Samson says: “Let's go!”

And they all jump into their cock-pits, and they are pleasantly surprised to see, that the insides of their individual zords, now look like the inside of the Tigerzord! Coop says: “This is the Green Thunder Ranger, checking in!”

Krash'ir says: “Blue Thunder Ranger checking in, all systems go!”

D.O.G., says: “Yellow Thunder Ranger checking in, ready to fight!”

Patsy says: “Pink Thunder Ranger checking in, NICE stereo!”

Samson says: “Red Thunder Ranger checking in, time to form the Thunder Megazord!”

And the five Zords form together, into the familiar form of the Thunder Megazord! Fruit Freak says: “The Thunder Megazord?! That's SO 1995!”

D.O.G., says: “It may be retro, like my brother, but it's STILL more than a match for you! Let's get up close and personal with THIS beast! Our fight's not over yet!” /

State of Shock: Part III

Captain Retro narrates, and he says: “Previously, on Power Rangers Multiverse Force; Dr. Maniac retreated to the safety and security of his fortress. Having no choice but to go inside, the Power Rangers, along with the Legendary Rangers, Sans, the unexpected help of Bionic Gorilla, now known as Windsor T. Gorilla, and myself, we have battled against six of Dr. Maniac's most evil monsters, and Scorpina. After doing battle against Mettaton Exe., Dr. Maniac suffered a villainous breakdown, and decided to take drastic measures, to fight against the Power Rangers. After injecting five Super Psycho vials into himself, and doing a forced Fusion Dance with Mettaton Exe., Dr. Maniac has now mutated into a gigantic cybernetic beast, threatening to destroy Planet Onyx. It will take the combined fire-power from all of the Rangers, to finish him off once, and for all!” /

Words appear on the screen, and they say: “Now, Present Day, the second to last Tuesday of 2178, Planet Onyx, Dr. Maniac's RUINED Fortress.”

The mutated, gigantic Dr. Maniac, is staring down the gauntlet, at seven megazord formations! Dr. Maniac, in a booming voice, says: “NOW, THAT'S HARDLY FAIR! SEVEN AGAINST ONE! BUT WITH MY NEW BODY, COMES NEW ABILITIES! YOU REMEMBER MY FRIENDS, THAT YOU KILLED IN MY FORTRESS?! WELL, SAY HELLO TO THEIR BIG BROTHER VERSIONS, THAT I'LL CREATE, JUST FOR YOU!!!!”

And twisting and contorting his own body, he produces GIGANTIC versions of Blast Bot, Transparent Tank (STILL in Lettuce's Green Aura Color blast), Evil Eraser, Brain Beast, Feminine Flame, and Psycho Puppet! Pinkie says: “EW! Gross! I don't think that I'm EVER going to be able to 'Un-see' that!”

Billy says: “We beat these beasts before! We can beat them again! Everyone, take the beast that you took down the last time! Tommy, you and Usagi go after Dr. Maniac!”

Tommy says: “I'm on it!”

Dr. Maniac asks: “Shall we tango?”

Usagi says: “Don't make jokes like that! Let's see if MY powers will work with YOUR Zord! Calling on the Sailor Moon Staff!”

And to Tommy's surprise, a GIGANTIC version of Usagi's Sailor Moon Staff appears in the arms of the Tigerzord! Tommy says: “Wow! I didn't know you could do that!”

Usagi says: “I've been practicing on our Simulation Planet, but I haven't HAD the occasion to try it out before with a REAL battle experience! This is my FIRST real test with this!”

Tommy says: “All right, Usagi! You're familiar with YOUR staff! You take the controls!”

Although Tommy can't see it, Usagi is blushing inside of her helmet, and she says: “Tommy, I'm SO flattered! In another time, in another place...well, it's not important! Let's focus on taking this creep DOWN, once and for all!”

Tommy says: “Right!”

Billy says: “Haven't used THIS trick for a while! Activate the MASTODON Shield!”

And Blast Bot BLASTS a bunch of rounds at the Dino Megazord, but the Mastodon Shield harmlessly absorbs all of his rounds! StarHawk says: “Looks like 1985 technology is no match for a 10,000 year old Megazord!”

Billy says: “Right! It's time to call upon the Power Sword!”

And the Power Sword streaks through the sky, and lands on the ground! The Dino Megazord picks it up, and glints it's eyes! Billy and StarHawk simultaneously says: “Power Sword Lightning Strike!”

And summoning lightning from the sky, The Dino Megazord swings the Power Sword, strikes THROUGH Blast Bot! It falls over, and PROMPTLY explodes on the ground!

Billy says: “That's one beast down, and six to go!”

Transparent Tank says: “You may be able to SEE me, but you STILL can't match me for PURE strength, when it comes to fire-power!”

Adam says: “Want to bet? The Zeo Megazord might surprise you! Activate Zeo Ranger I Battle Helmet Mode!”

And the helmet on the Zeo Megazord switches to have the helmet of Zeo Ranger One's Zord! Lettuce says: “Fire Power Blast!”

And Lettuce pushes the firing button! Although Transparent Tank fires a powerful energy shot at the Zeo Zord's blast, the Zeo Zord's attack is MORE powerful, and HITS Transparent Tank, knocking it back! Transparent Tank asks: “Is that ALL you've got?!”

Adam says: “You wish! Activate Zeo Ranger II Battle Helmet Mode!”

And the helmet on the Zeo Megazord switches to have the helmet of Zeo Ranger Two's Zord! Lettuce says: “Fire Double Blaster!”

And Lettuce pushes the firing button! This time, Transparent Tank tries to BLOCK the attack with his tough Tank exterior, but he STILL gets knocked back, and falls over! Transparent Tank says: “You LITTLE cheats! Why don't you try fighting ME fair and square?!”

Lettuce scoffs, and he says: “NOW you WANT to talk FAIRNESS?! Sorry, but you're a day late, and a dollar short!”

Adam says: “I agree! Activate Zeo Ranger 4 Battle Helmet Mode!”

And the helmet on the Zeo Megazord switches to have the helmet of Adam's Zeo Zord! Lettuce says: “Fire Lightning Blast!”

Transparent Tank says: “No lightning can hurt--!”

But Transparent Tank is INSTANTLY proven wrong, as Transparent Tank is SHOCKED to its core, and becomes PARALYZED, and unable to move! Transparent Tank says: “My joints have all FRIED!!!!”

Adam says: “It's time to finish him off! Activate Zeo Ranger V Battle Helmet Mode!”

And the helmet on the Zeo Megazord switches back to have it's normal Zeo Ranger Five's Zord! Lettuce says: “It's time to call upon the Zeo Sword!”

And wielding it's powerful Sword, the Zeo Megazord swings it at Transparent Tank, and Transparent Tank says: “I'm heading for the SCRAP HEAP!!!!”

And Transparent Tank falls down, and explodes! Lettuce says: “Scratch one Tank!”

BlackHawk asks: “Andros, who is THAT big, pink freak?!”

Andros says: “That's Evil Eraser! I don't know HOW we're going to get close enough to fight him, without him blasting his erase ray in our faces!”

BlackHawk says: “I think I might, though!”

BlackHawk activates his communicator, and says: “Alpha 7, can you read me?!”

Alpha 7 says: “I read you loud and clear, BlackHawk!”

BlackHawk says: “Good! I need you to fly the Astro Mega Ship to blast at Evil Eraser, and distract him so WE can deliver the finishing blow!”

Alpha 7 says: “I'm on it! D.E.C.A., you know what to do!”

D.E.C.A., says: “Activating interception attack routine, #3.”

And the Astro Mega Ship flies in, and starts shooting energy blasts at Evil Eraser, tricking it into firing its Eraser Rays at it! BlackHawk says: “Now's our chance!”

Andros says: “Brilliant! You know YOUR Zord better than I do, you do the honors!”

BlackHawk says: “Right! To quote George Harrison of The Beatles; Here Comes the Sun! Solar Energy Blast Attack!!!!”

And firing a BIG yellow blast of energy, the Lion Zord fires its solar energy at Evil Eraser! Evil Eraser is KNOCKED down to the ground, and PROMPTLY explodes! BlackHawk says: “Personally, I like the type of gun you ONLY need to fire once, like THAT!”

Brain Beast says: “You WON'T be taking me down a SECOND time, because THIS time, my brain waves are AMPLIFIED!”

And Brain Beast begins shooting electricity at the Lost Galaxy Megazord! Pinkie says: “He's got us in some electric-magnetic dead-lock, I can't break free!”

Lettuce says: “Hold on, Pinkie Pie! Activate Zeo Ranger III Battle Helmet!”

And the helmet on the Zeo Megazord, switches to have Zeo Ranger Three's Zord on it! Adam says: “Ground strike!”

Lettuce says: “On it!”

And Lettuce pushes a button, and the Zeo Megazord POUNDS on the ground, and the ripple effect CAUSES a gigantic Earthen pillar to appear underneath Brain Beast, and KNOCKS him off balance, causing it's electric blasts to HIT itself! Brain Beast says: WOAH! My senses are all scattered!”

Pinkie says: “Thank you, Lettuce, that was CLOSE!”

Lettuce says: “Anytime for you, Pinkie! No beast is going to hurt YOU on my watch!”

Pinkie says: “We can't take another blast like that!”

Karone says: “I've got an idea! I just hope it works! Lights of Orion, ACTIVATE!”

And to Karone's surprise, Golden Bracelets appear on ALL of the Rangers, and all the Zords now have a GOLDEN Glow to them! Karone says: “Wow! I didn't THINK that would work! Apparently, you just need at least FOUR other Rangers with you to activate the technique, not JUST your four other Rangers from the same team!”

Pinkie says: “Let's put this fire-power to good use! Time to use the Lost Galaxy Power Sword!”

Brain Beast says: “Have MERCY on me!”

Karone says: “MERCY THIS!!!!”

The Lost Galaxy Megazord STRIKES at Brain Beast, but instead of falling over, it evilly says: “If I GO DOWN, I'm TAKING ALPHYS WITH ME!!!!”

And Brain Beast FALLS Toward Alphys, threatening to CRUSH her! Sans says: “SOMEONE HELP HER!!!!”

Captain Retro FLIES towards her, and says: “Hold ON, Alphys!”

Captain Retro gets to the yellow chandelier that Alphys is on, and Captain Retro says: “Kamehameha!!!!”

And Captain Retro FIRES a blue wave of energy at Brain Beast, and not only STOPS it from falling, but actually PUSHES it into the vacuum of outer space! Brain Beast can only say: “Curses! Foiled AGAIN!”

And Brain Beast EXPLODES as soon as it leaves the atmosphere! Captain Retro undoes the chains holding Alphys, and Alphys says: “Thanks, Captain Retro, I thought I was FINISHED!”

Captain Retro says: “Not on MY watch, you're not!”

Captain Retro activates his communicator, and says: “Alpha 7, warp Alphys, Sans, and Windsor T. Gorilla into the Astro Mega Ship! We'll finish up here!”

Alpha 7 says: “I'm on it, Captain!”

Alphys turns around, and says: “Good luck, Captain Retro!”

And Alphys, Sans, and Windsor are warped onto the Astro Mega Ship! Captain Retro says: “Well, that's one task down. Now, all that's left is Doctor Maniac!”

Feminine Flame says: “You may have beaten me with BlackHawk's help, but I will NOT go down a SECOND time!”

Kira says: “Don't bet on it! The Dino Thunder Megazord has got more gadgets on it than a Swiss Army Knife! Activate the Parasaurus Zord!”

And a Green Dinozord appears on one of the arms of the Dino Thunder Megazord, and Naruto says: “Double Scissors attack!”

And with lightning fast speed, the Dino Megazord, ATTACKS Feminine Flame with a lightning cut attack, and the Megazord doesn't even GET hot! Feminine Flame says: “YOW! How did you do that?!”

Kira says: “It's all a matter of timing! Speaking of, time for the Ankylosaurus Zord!”

And an Orange Dinozord appears on one of the arms of the Dino Thunder Megazord! Feminine Flame says: “You think you're SUCH hot stuff, get a taste of THIS!!!!”

And Feminine Flame begins spewing flames at them, but Kira says: “Activate Ankylo Shield!”

And the Ankylosaurus Zord acts as a spinning shield, protecting it from the fire produced by Feminine Flame, until it completely EXHAUSTS itself! Feminine Flame says: “Ooh, I'm all out of FIRE, and I'm all out of power!”

Kira says: “Now's our chance!”

Naruto says: “Right! Double Drill Attack!”

And using it's twin drills, it STRIKES at Feminine Flame, Feminine Flame FALLS down to the ground, and LITERALLY explodes in flames! Naruto says: “Now, THAT was a hot battle!”

Psycho Puppet says: “It's time for ME, to PULL the strings on you, for REAL, this time!

And Psycho Puppet SHOOTS a bunch of puppet strings at the S.P.D. Megazord, and starts to DRAG it toward Psycho Puppet! Anubis 'Doggie' Kruger says: “Bad move, Psycho Puppet! You want to play at Tug of War? You're going to lose!”

The S.P.D. Megazord REACHES for the puppet strings, pulls ON Psycho Puppet, and Psycho Puppet flies STRAIGHT into the fists of the S.P.D. Megazord, and the S.P.D. Megazord TIES Psycho Puppets' arms, and makes Psycho Puppet HIT himself with his arms! FireHawk says: “Come on! Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself!”

Psycho Puppet says: “I cannot! You're even making it an EXTRA irony, by implying the fact that I'M the one who is hitting myself!”

FireHawk says: “We've got this puppet on a string! Doggie, do the honors!”

Doggie says: “Right! S.P.D., Final Judgement!”

And it FIRES a big energy blast at Psycho Puppet, it's puppet strings disintegrate, and it falls to the ground and explodes! FireHawk says: “Too bad you didn't have a conscience to help you learn the difference between right and wrong!”

Meanwhile, the Tigerzord is brandishing the gigantic Sailor Moon Staff in Dr. Maniac's mutated face, hitting him in every single direction, not letting up for a minute! Tommy says: “We've got him on the ropes! Time for a little fire-power!”

And Tommy activates the fire orb, and the Tigerzord shoots flames at Dr. Maniac, and he falls over! Dr. Maniac says: “This is ABSURD! How am I getting beaten by ONE lousy Zord!”

Billy says: “It's about to get a lot WORSE for you! We've BEATEN all your gigantic creations, and you're the LAST menace standing!” /

Meanwhile, back at Core Earth, the Thunder Megazord is busy throwing its STRONGEST punches, kicks, and throws at Fruit Freak, but NOTHING is keeping her down! Fruit Freak says: “You can't defeat me! I'm part of a balanced DIET, after all!”

Coop says: “How are we going to beat this freak? Nothing is working!”

Than Omnus contacts the Thunder Rangers on their communicators, and says: “Thunder Rangers, I just received news from the Planet Onyx! The Power Rangers have beaten ALL of Dr. Maniac's evil beasts, and now, only Dr. Maniac remains! Use your Power Sword, and use it to deliver the finishing blow to Fruit Freak!”

D.O.G., says: “Omnus is right! If the Power Rangers can win THEIR fight, we can win ours!”

Samson says: “Than let's do it! Activate the Power Sword!”

And the Thunder Megazord reaches for the Sword within its sheath, and pulls it out! Fruit Freak says: “Uh-oh! That's a REALLY sharp knife!”

Patsy says: “Activate Thunder Lightning Strike!”

And with one SWIFT swipe, the Thunder Megazord strikes at Fruit Freak, and it says: “I'm going to that Juice Bar in the sky!”

And Fruit Freak falls down and explodes! Krash'ir says: “Now THAT'S how you beat a monster, and OLD School, at that!” /

Queen Beryl puts her head in her hands, and MOANS in frustration! Queen Beryl says: “I can't believe a team of five, almost COMPLETELY inexperienced Rangers, totally thrashed our Youma! What a complete WASTE today was!”

Abaddon says: “Not quite! Look at the energy we've gathered for Queen Metallia!”

And they look at the container reading, indicating the energy needed to revive Queen Metallia! Abaddon says: “Remember our true goal. Even if your Youma should fall, the energy they generate ALL goes toward reviving Queen Metallia! Fruit Freak has already generated 5%, all by herself. It may take some time, but it will ALL be worth it, once Queen Metallia is brought back to life!”

Queen Beryl says: “Quite right! Perhaps today WASN'T a total loss, after all! Everything is proceeding EXACTLY as we have planned!” /

Meanwhile, back on Onyx, Dr. Maniac is positively FURIOUS! Dr. Maniac says: “I am SICK and TIRED of you Power Rangers always RUINING my plans! Do you honestly think you can stop ME?! I am the Purely EVIL Rick! And there's NO force in the Multiverse, powerful enough to DESTROY me!”

Tommy says: “You're wrong, Dr. Maniac! We're destined to destroy you! Because we've got something that you'll NEVER have! The power of team-work! And with our combined fire-power, we can bring even YOU down! Captain Retro, you've got a song that can get the job done?”

Captain Retro says: “You know it, and I think it's a song, that you, Billy, AND Adam will be familiar with! The Red Hot Chili Peppers 1989 hit cover version of “Higher Ground!” /

And the seven Megazords begin utilizing all of their attacks on Dr. Maniac, while the Red Hot Chili Peppers begin rocking, by singing their hit cover version, of “Higher Ground!” / (Instrumental Opening) The Red Hot Chili Peppers sing: “People, keep on learning! Soldiers keep on warring! World keep on turning cause it won't be too long! Powers keep on lying! While your people, keep on dying! World keep on turning cause it won't be too long! I'm so darn glad they let me try again, cause my last time on Earth I lived a whole world of sin! I'm so glad that I know more than I knew then! Gonna keep on trying till I reach the highest ground! Teachers keep on teaching! Preachers keep on preaching! World keep on turning cause it won't be too long! Oh, no. Lovers keep on loving! While believers keep on believing! Sleepers just stop sleeping! 'Cause it won't be too long!!!! Oh, no! I'm so darn glad they let me try again, cause my last time around, I lived a whole world of sin! I'm so glad that I know more than I knew then! Gonna keep on trying till I reach the highest ground! And Stevie knows nobody's gonna bring me down! Till I reach the highest ground! Cause me and Stevie, we're gonna be sailing on the funky sound! Till I reach the highest ground! Busting out and I'll break you out, cause I'm sailing on. Till I reach the highest ground! Just sailing on, sailing on the higher ground! Till I reach the highest ground!!!!” (Instrumental Finish!) /

And the epic song ends as ALL the Megazords pull out ALL their respective finishing moves, and HIT the mutated Dr. Maniac SIMULTANEOUSLY!!!! Dr. Maniac screams: “NO!!!! My body is DISINTEGRATING!!!! NO, No, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” (BOOM!!!!!!!!!!! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!!!!)

Sans says: “They DID IT!!!!”

Tommy sighs, and says: “It's over. It's FINALLY over!”

Kira says: “Even Dr. Maniac couldn't survive THAT!”

Billy says: “Come on, everybody. Let's get back on the Astro Mega Ship.” /

The Rangers have all de-morphed, and are now back on the Astro Mega Ship. Everyone is giving hugs to everybody, but Lettuce is getting a special treat! Pinkie says: “Lettuce, I wanted to personally thank you, for helping to save my life today.”

Lettuce says: “Come on, Pinkie. I was just doing my job as a Ranger. You know that I'd do it for anybody, whether they were a fellow Power Ranger or not.”

Pinkie says: “Still, I think you deserve a little reward for all your trouble.”

And Pinkie gives Lettuce a BIG kiss on his beak! Lettuce's cheeks turn red, and he dreamily says: “I could get USED to getting THIS type of reward!”

Captain Retro says: “Alphys, sorry about that whole Mettaton thing. You know if we COULD have used mercy with him, we would have.”

Alphys says: “Well, perhaps THIS time, maybe I'll be able TO fix Mettaton so that he WON'T malfunction and try to kill people LIKE he did the last time!”

BlackHawk says: “I'm all for that. But what I DON'T understand is why Dr. Maniac tried to kidnap you in the first place!”

Alphys snaps to realization, and says: “I can't believe I forgot! Right before he captured me, I FINALLY figured out a way to DESTROY the Dark Kaiser for GOOD!”

Captain Retro says: “Really?! What is it?!”

Alphys nervously says: “Well, you're not going to like it, though. It appears as though the body that Dark Kaiser has been using, isn't REALLY his body, it's just an empty shell controlled by his mind. The Dark Kaiser's REAL body, is ACTUALLY the Dark Kaiser's very own FORTRESS itself, located WITHIN the DREADFUL Nazi Realm! If you WANT to finish the Dark Kaiser off for good, and we DO need to, we have no choice, but to eventually venture INTO the Nazi Realm, fight the Nazi's within, and DESTROY Dark Kaiser's Fortress itself. Than, and ONLY than, can Dark Kaiser be killed off for good.”

Captain Retro says: “Well, it can't be helped. But just know this. The Dog Guardian can only ALLOW me to protect you while you're in THIS dimension, or an EXACT mirror dimension of this dimension. If you go into the Nazi realm, I'm afraid you must do it on your own. I cannot be allowed to interfere in that dimension.”

Usagi says: “Don't worry, Captain Retro. We'll cross that bridge, when we come to it!”

Andros says: “Guys, I'm picking up a visual transmission from Omnus and the Magi-Mother.”

Adam says: “Well, what are you waiting for? Put them on-screen.”

Andros turns on the visual screen, and Omnus, and the Magi-Mother appear, with the FIVE Thunder Rangers behind them. Tommy says: “Wow! New Ranger powers! And they look a LOT like my Tigerzord power!”

The Magi-Mother says: “Captain Retro, I want to thank you for your decision to entrust the Thunder Morphers, to a new generation of individuals. These individuals have been selected, to help and defend Core Earth whenever necessary. We WELCOME them now, into the POWER RANGERS family!”

And the Thunder Rangers unmask themselves, although Coop has to shrink back to his normal size BEFORE he can do so! Karone says: “Samson, Patsy, Coop, D.O.G., and Krash'ir! You're the NEW Thunder Rangers!”

Captain Retro says: “Wow! My own brother is a Power Ranger, now! I guess it runs in the family!”

BlackHawk says: “Mine, to. I guess that means I'll have to take Aura Training with you, a little MORE seriously now!”

Windsor says: “Congratulations, Samson and Patsy, on becoming Thunder Rangers, you two really deserve it!”

Omnus says: “And congratulations, Windsor, on becoming one of the good guys! Any help you can give to us, will be very much appreciated by us in any future endeavors to come!”

Usagi says: “That's not all! We defeated Dr. Maniac, and Alphys has figured out how we can destroy the Dark Kaiser once and for all!”

Omnus says: “The Dark Kaiser can wait, for the time being. You have all gone through a terrific battle, and I am proud of all of you. Tommy, we will soon return you to your own time. It may have been only a short time for you, but Scorpina's WAITING for you, back in the year 2028. It's time to fight with Scorpina, one last time, and ensure your legacy, as a Power Ranger.”

Adam asks: “Are you nervous, Tommy?”

Tommy sighs, and says: “A little. But I know that whatever happens, I know the future of the Power Rangers, is in good hands.”

StarHawk says: “Thank you, Tommy. To hear you say that to us, really means a lot to us.”

Andros says: “Come on guys, let's ALL go home! After all, soon, it WILL be, Christmas Day!”

Naruto says: “I'm just glad the threat of Dr. Maniac is FINALLY all over!”

And the Astro Mega Ship flies BACK to Core Earth, with The Pretenders singing: “Hear them sing; soon it will be Christmas Day.” /

But BACK on the Planet Onyx, a SINISTER Psygorn, looks through the RUINS of Dr. Maniac's fortress, and FINDS what he's LOOKING for! The PULSATING, Powerful MASS of intellect, of Dr. Maniac's STILL living BRAIN!!!! Psygorn picks up Dr. Maniac's brain, and Psygorn says: “Oh, you're not OVER with Dr. Maniac, YET!!!!”

Pysgorn pulls out BLUEPRINTS, that reveal DETAILED instructions, for a COMPLETELY cybernetic body, for Dr. Maniac's brain, and Psygorn says: “WE have BARELY begun! MWA, HA, HA!!!!” /

(Stinger) A Gray Rat, walks into a prison on Planet Onyx. He walks up to a guard, who's guarding the place. The guard says: “What exactly are YOU, sir?!”

The Rat says: “Well, I'm NOT a regular MONSTER, sir. I just happen to be the RAT guardian, Templeton. And, I understand, you have a, Mr. Cornelius Doo, here. I'm here, because I want to make him an offer, as part of modifying his sentence, and hopefully redeeming him in the eyes of millions.”

The guard sighs, and says: “All right. We'll let you see him.”

The guard opens the door into the inner jail cells, and Templeton walks past a bunch of doors, that contain FORMER “Power Rangers” monsters, including Eye Guy, Peckster, Commander Crayfish, Pirantis Head, Bloom of Doom, the Scarlet Sentinel, and Silverhorns. Templeton walks all the way down to the last door, which reads: “19-77”. Templeton opens the door, and shines light on a VERY familiar, small, brown puppy. In a SCRAPPY voice, the little puppy says: “Yeah, what do YOU want?!”

Templeton says: “Mr. SCRAPPY Cornelius Doo, have I got a preposition for you!” /

Episode Notes: Dr. Maniac's body is FINALLY destroyed at the end of this three-parter, but if Psygorn's blueprints are any hint, this may NOT be the last we ever HEAR from Dr. Maniac! Samson, Patsy, Coop, D.O.G., and Krash'ir, are officially welcomed into the Power Rangers family as the Thunder Rangers! Alphys reveals that the only way to destroy the Dark Kaiser for good, is that the Power Rangers WILL eventually have to venture into the Nazi Realm in order to DESTROY the Dark Kaiser's fortress, once and for all! Songs included in this three-parter are “Torture, State of Shock”, and the Red Hot Chili Pepper's cover version of “Higher Ground”. Eris is officially introduced into the Multiverse with this three-parter, and Radiguet's REAL voice, is revealed to sound like Adam Driver's. Lettuce and Pinkie Pie more or less, officially make up with this episode. Bionic Gorilla makes a “Heel-Face Turn” and joins the good guys under his real name, Windsor T. Gorilla, from “My Gym Partner's a Monkey”. First time an episode has concluded with a stinger, and it involves Templeton and Scrappy-Doo from “Scooby Doo” in some way. /

Personal Notes: I really want to thank everyone who stuck with us during these long, hard, uncertain times. It hasn't been easy for us, but we wanted to continue this series for you, our wonderful fans. Whom without, writing this series would not be as fulfilling as it currently is. We write this series for you, to remind you that no matter how hard something is, it can ALWAYS be conquered in the end. I hope you enjoyed reading this episode, as much as I did writing it. Enough said, true believers! /

[4EverGreen]

All right! It's time for another re-run of "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" Enjoy! / Sniz is in the camera monitor room, and he says: "Last time, on 'Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back', it was night-time on the island, and our two teams, engaged in an underground quest, to find some lost treasure. Fee found the Yeti Crab, freed it, and even made it into a friend/potential adopted brother, nice! Bubble Bass found out that General Barracuda, was in fact, his biological father, and General Barracuda even became a legally married husband to Bubble Bass' mother, as a nice bonus; cool! Meanwhile, Tigress was once again on her, 'It's All About Me' attitude, which backfired on her immensely, when Danny Fenton defeated the Giant Kracken, with the skills he gained, from helping the famous celebrity spirits who were possessing him; long story! Danny ended up getting a wish from the Giant Kracken, which Danny used, to give immunity to Bubble Bass. Bad mistake, Danny! It turns out the Power Pandas, did NOT take Danny lying to them lightly; and with the help of the Killer Prawns, voted Danny off! Meanwhile, Fee decided she was going to get, while the getting was still good, and quit the game with the Yeti Crab. So, I decided to make the game more interesting, by adding in Brittany Miller, BACK as a contestant! Will Brittany fare better as a contestant in her second go-around? Which team will win the final team challenge this season? And can ANYONE, stop the juggernaut that is Tigress?! Find out, on this swashbuckling episode, of 'Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!' Arrr, mateys!" /

"Pirates Of Lake Michigan: On Stranger Prides" / The camera opens up on Bubble Bass' hotel room. It is early morning, and Bubble Bass is just waking up, to greet the day! Bubble Bass says: "I can't remember the last time I felt so good! I have a good father figure in my life, I won immunity, and I'm living in the lap of luxury! Plus, I've got a woman, that I want to marry! I mean, if it weren't for Tigress, I wouldn't have ANYTHING to worry about, except for the challenges that I have to get past! BUT, I'll cross that bridge WHEN I have to come to it, and not before! Speaking of Blonda, I wonder how she IS doing anyways? Luckily, she left me her calling card! I'll just give her a quick buzz to see how she is!" Bubble Bass pushes in the number, and we get a split-screen shot, with Blonda's fat fish form, in dark silhouette. Blonda says: "Bubble Bass?! I didn't expect to hear YOU calling me until this season was over, or unless you got eliminated, which I hope doesn't happen!" Bubble Bass says: "I was feeling in a romantic mood. You know, my mom just got married to General Barracuda, and HE turned out to be my biological father! Pretty amazing that I'm the son of general, isn't it?!" Blonda sputters in disbelief, and she says: "WOW!!!! No wonder you had...such an AMAZING ability to please me!" Bubble Bass asks: "Is THAT what they're calling it now?" Blonda says: "It is when you're restricted to a PG rating!" Bubble Bass actually laughs, and he says: "Fair, enough! So, how are you coming along?" Blonda says: "I'm one month pregnant, so far. No kicks yet, but I can tell you, that you're going to be a father to a baby boy. He's probably going to have the scale color that I currently have, which is purple in case you forgot, but he should STILL have some of your...body build, to let everyone know that he is yours." Bubble Bass says: "Speaking of father, I just want to make sure that I do BETTER than what General Barracuda did! I'm going to be there for my son! I would really like it, if you would marry me!"

Blonda sputters, and she says: "MARRY?! ME; YOU?!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, why ever not? I've become QUITE a very nice guy, in case you've been watching, in SPITE of Anti-Cosmo's attempts to make me turn out otherwise, and I've been a VERY loyal friend to Tigress, even though she's not even making anywhere NEAR the effort to be nice to me, as I am to her! Plus, I still have $21.6 Million worth in those valuable sea jewels, once I give away 10% of the $24 million to Johnny Krill, of course!" Blonda says: "First I'm hearing of this! I'll be honest, I had NO idea how this would turn out. But you...you're really turning out to be a LOT better than the man I thought you were. I never thought a woman like me, could ever truly love a man, let alone, one like YOUR kind." Bubble Bass asks: "What do you mean, 'MY kind'?" Blonda says: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put it THAT way! That was uncalled for. The point is, seeing you develop over these episodes, has made me realize, how greatly I over-valued my own personal character traits. And truthfully, I'm not the woman you deserve either. That's why I've been taking on-line courses, in order to help myself be the woman you deserve. You're a good guy, Bubble Bass. And I'm going to become a better woman. So, when this season is over, I'm going to marry you, and become a mortal woman. Sure, I could live forever. But living forever without you, is not a life worth living. And since making you immortal would be against 'Da Rules', making myself mortal is not. So, what do you say? Do you WANT to marry me?" Bubble Bass excitedly says: "Yes, YES! A thousand times, YES! You know, there were some around here who had their doubts, not naming names, but now I can truthfully say that you LIKE me! You REALLY LIKE ME!" Blonda says: "Hadn't heard anyone quote Sally Field in a while! So, it's all settled! I'll get the wedding ceremony preparations all set up, and at your earliest convenience, we'll be legally wed!" Bubble Bass says: "You've got it, my FIANCEE!" Blonda romantically says: "I think I could grow to LIKE this sort of relationship! Call me back, as soon as you're out of the competition; but don't throw it for my sake. I still want you to do your best. You've certainly already done BETTER than what a lot of people THOUGHT you would, not naming names, so why stop now? Why don't you REALLY try to impress people, and try going ALL the way?!" Bubble Bass says: "Blonda, you've given me confidence that I never thought I COULD have! I won't make any promises, lest I jinx anything, but I will certainly promise to do my best!" Blonda says: "That's all I wanted to hear! So, like I said, call me as soon as you can, you have my phone number." Bubble Bass says: "Will do! Bye!" Blonda says: "Good-bye!"

Bubble Bass hangs up, and he triumphantly shouts: "YES!!!!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "For the first time in my life, things are starting to go right. I mean, becoming a good guy, it's like I hit the Karmic Jackpot or something! But I'm certainly not going to take that good luck for granted. I have to keep trying to be as good as I can be, no matter how hard Tigress or anyone else tries to make it for me. It won't be easy. But then again, most of the really GOOD things in life aren't easy to begin with, anyways!" (End Confessional) The camera shifts to Tigress' room, and she is with Fee and Johnny Krill. Tigress says: "Okay, riddle me this! How is it possible, that LARD BUTT Bubble Bass, has managed to win TWO immunity challenges in a ROW, while I have gotten DIDDLY SQUAT?!" Johnny says: "Well, for starters, I think your LOUSY attitude problem has a LOT to do with it!" Tigress yells: "WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY ATTITUDE?!!!" Brittany says: "Well, NOTHING! If you're 'Xena: The Warrior Princess', who I can mention by name, since I'm not planning on making any money off of that!"

Tigress says: "Come on! I'm SERIOUS!!!! I've been giving it my ALL since day one! I do ALL the work, and SOMEHOW, Bubble Bass ALWAYS winds up providing with the win! What gives?" Johnny says: "Well, Bubble Bass DOES have an incentive to win, that doesn't just REVOLVE around WINNING, Tigress!" Tigress asks: "Really? How is THAT?!" Brittany says: "Well, he has a woman named Blonda, waiting for him to emerge triumphant, he has a mother he wants to impress, AND a brand new father he wants to make proud! Not to mention, IF he wins, he will prove that EVERYTHING that everyone in Bikini Bottom, has ever SAID about him, was WRONG, and that he IS a capable, competent, able member of society, and of Bikini Bottom by extension!" Tigress says: "That's NO excuse! I have actual skills! Doesn't that count for ANYTHING anymore?!" Johnny says: "Once again, we come to the same root of your BIGGEST problem, that you simply FAIL to comprehend! You think that this is all about, 'You, You, You'. Well, the last team challenge is going to take PLACE soon, Tigress! So, the Fairy Tale is over." Johnny than shouts to Tigress: "WELCOME TO REAL LIFE!!!! You WANT to WIN the game so BADLY?! EARN it, and show some FREAKING empathy ONCE, in a while!" Tigress angrily says: "YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!!" Johnny rhetorically says: "NO, YOU, Take that back!" Tigress says: "How DARE YOU, you insolent PEASANT?! Nobody talks to ME that way! Nobody!" Than Tigress shouts with an echoing effect: "NOBODY! Nobody! Nobody..." Johnny mockingly says: "Well, what have we got here, Brittany? Those flashy eyes, those fleshed cheeks, those trembling lips. You know SOMETHING, Tigress? You are UGLY, when you're angry!" Tigress angrily says: "That does it! You and your attitude ARE--." Brittany interrupts, and says: "Please! Total Athlete, Tigress, if I may, we have a team challenge coming up, so I suggest we all return to our own rooms, and prepare for the event!" Tigress simply walks into her restroom in a huff, and slams the door behind her! Johnny and Brittany leave Tigress' room, and Johnny says: "I think she's actually better. She SOUNDS nicer now!" Brittany says: "Oh, yeah! That was the BEST! I don't know why, but for some reason, I'm starting to feel ITCHY all of a sudden!"

(Confessional) Tigress says: "Now that I know that Bubble Bass is the son of General Barracuda, both biologically and through legal means, he has now become a LEGITIMATE challenge in my mind! Don't get me wrong, I'm STILL going to take him to the Final Three with me! It just means that I can hold LESS back than what I was going to BEFORE! Still, I SHOULD have a back-up plan! I guess that means I'm going to have to FIND the Pendant of Life, AGAIN! No way the producers will make it easy for me LIKE they did the last time! Still, I didn't come THIS far to be voted off by some SORE losers! I plan on going ALL the way! And there is NOTHING that is going to get in the way of that!" / Johnny laughs, and he says: "I hope Tigress just said that, 'NOTHING would come between her and winning', or something like that! Because, as my old man is so fond of saying, 'Pride ALWAYS goes before the FALL!' And the BIGGER the ego, the HARDER the fall!" / Brittany says: "Ever since I ate that Giant Acorn the other night, my whole body has been feeling itchy! Either that, or it's just normal growing pains, one or the other!" (End Confessional) The action shifts to the cabins being used by the Power Pandas. Jenny looks at a picture of Danny Fenton, and she says: "Sigh, I miss having Danny around. He was a good guy." Po says: "You WOULD think so! After all, he didn't LIE to you, the way he did to the REST of us!" Private says: "To be fair, I knew about it to." Po asks: "And you DIDN'T think it would be IMPORTANT for the REST of us to know what Danny Fenton was all about?!"

Private says: "Well, for starters, he considered the whole matter PRIVATE, and I DON'T mean, myself! He was in a difficult position! Jenny and I were just trying to help him in the best way that we could!" Po says: "Well, for future reference, the next time you want to help someone, run it by the REST of us, BEFORE, you make a decision like that!" Kowalski says: "That may be a moot point, Po. We're about to be faced with the last team challenge today! Once we get past this team challenge, it will be every contestant for themself, not counting alliances." Jenny says: "Well, I for one, hope we can all still be aligned in an alliance once the team portion of this season is over. It would HELP us be able to eliminate Tigress!" Po asks: "Why would you WANT to eliminate Tigress?!" Private rolls his eyes, and says: "HELLO!!!! She's FREAKING borderline PSYCHO attack freak! Not to mention, her personality is borderline narcissistic psychopath, and that's WITHOUT getting into her ingrained sense of HAVING to win!" Kowalski says: "WOW! Reading my analysis charts are REALLY paying off for you, Private!" Private says: "Thank you! And Po, I know that you LOVE Tigress, but when it comes right down to it, do you REALLY think Tigress is going to want to take YOU, to the Final Five? This is TIGRESS we're talking about! She DOESN'T want to compete against you! She's going to take the weakest, least skilled, least athletic set of contestants she can POSSIBLY get, just so she can run CIRCLES around them, and get an EASY path to the championship win! You've GOT to eliminate her, BEFORE she eliminates YOU!" Po says: "Tigress would do NO such thing! Unlike Zarbon and Bulma, Tigress GENUINELY loves me, and WE have to work together back in the Valley of Peace! Tigress would NEVER put our relationship in jeopardy, and I DON'T mean the game show!"

Kowalski sighs, and he says: "All right, suit yourself, Po. Just don't come RUNNING to Private and me, when we inevitably turn out to be right, because all Private and/or I will say to you, is, 'I told you so'!" (Confessional) Kowalski sighs, and he says: "Sometimes, that's the problem with romance based alliances! A lot of them start off as idealistic and blissful. But when push comes to shove; inevitably, the more aggressive member of the alliance will ALWAYS strike first, and leave their partner holding the bag, metaphorically speaking, of course!" / Private says: "Kowalski and I are in a pretty good position right now. So far, we've kept ourselves from being TOO low on anyone's radar to target for elimination, but we have kept ourselves relevant enough, to keep from being completely written off as potential season winners! However, we certainly can't keep that act up once the team challenge of the portion ends, because Tigress is GOING to target us, REGARDLESS of whether or not we TRY to target her! Therefore, we have to step up our game! If Tigress WANTS a challenge, she's going to find that WE penguins, are NOT creatures that she can just PUSH over anytime she WANTS! If she tries to push us, we're GOING to push back, and THAT'S when she's going to fall!" / Po says: "I don't care WHAT those penguins say! Tigress' romance with me is stronger than ANY game show! I would do ANYTHING for Tigress, and she would do ANYTHING for me! Tigress and I are going to go to the Final Two TOGETHER! I just KNOW it!" / Jenny says: "Statistically speaking, anytime a contestant says that they, 'KNOW' something is going to happen, they always, inevitably, sooner or later, almost ALWAYS turn out to be wrong!" (End Confessional) Over the loud-speakers, Sniz's voice suddenly speaks to the contestants! Sniz, with a pirate accent, says: "Arrr! Avast, ye mateys! Tis time for the last team challenge! Everyone report to Lake Michigan, before I keel-haul the lot of you!" Private says: "A pirate based challenge? How cliche!" Kowalski sighs, and says: "Well, statistically, this show was bound to HAVE to do one EVENTUALLY!" /

The two teams gather near the dock, situated at the water's edge of Lake Michigan, and they see two GENUINE replicas, of late 16th century, Spanish Armada galleons! Johnny says: "WOAH!!!! You're REALLY going all out for this challenge, aren't you?!" Sniz, wearing a pirate's outfit, and with a fake parrot on his shoulder, Sniz says: "Arrr, only the BEST for ye mateys!" Than Sniz DROPS the pirate accent, and in his normal voice, says: "But seriously, this is our LAST team challenge this season, and we thought it would be fitting to end it with a BANG, hopefully literally! The challenge this time may SOUND easy, but it probably WON'T be, and that all winds down to, how hard EACH team tries to outdo each other! Each team will take their pirate ship from here, to a smaller island located in Lake Michigan. Along the way, you will have to avoid the call of the beautiful but dangerous Sirens, battle rogue pirates, played by the crew from the Salty Spitoon, and get to the island. Once there, find, but DON'T drink, from the Fountain of Youth!" Tigress says: "Excuse me! The Fountain of Youth is SUPPOSED to be in Florida, not in an island in Lake Michigan!" Anti-Cosmo appears, and he says: "I have a magic wand, your argument is invalid." Sniz says: "And once you find the Fountain of Youth, race back here, and be the first team to get to port. The team that does so, will win immunity! It's that simple! And one more thing, hidden somewhere along the course, is the valuable Pendant of Life! If you have the time, or you're feeling REALLY lucky, you MIGHT want to try searching for it! After all, an ounce of prevention, is worth a pound of cure!" Tigress coyly says: "Thank you for that MOST helpful information!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "As in, I sure AM going to find it FIRST! Make NO mistake about THAT!" (End Confessional)

Jenny looks over the two Spanish Galleons, and she says: "Um, I don't mean to be critical, but, how are we supposed to MANAGE these two big boats? We each only have four contestants! A proper crew needs MORE!" Sniz says: "Not to worry! We have it ALL taken care of, thanks to TWO returning guests! Back from Season Two and Season Three, it's everyone's favorite MUSCULAR lobster, Larry the Lobster!" Larry rolls right into the screen, wearing his trade-mark green shorts again! Larry says: "Ah, it feels so GOOD to be back!" Sniz says: "And also returning, thanks to court-mandated community service, everyone's LEAST favorite contestant, Angelica Pickles!" Angelica steps out of a limosuine, and everyone goes: "BOO!!!! BOO!!!!" Angelica says: "Oh, go 'BOO' yourselves! I'm only here, on account of my bad behavior LAST season, and the judge says I have to help a team out THIS season, if I want to get my CELL PHONE priviledges back!" Jenny says: "It's nice to meet you in person, Angelica." Angelica says: "I'm sorry, I HAVE this policy of NOT speaking to LOSERS!" Jenny says: "I'm NOT a loser...unless, everyone ELSE thinks I am!" Kowalski says: "Don't worry! We have NO intention of thinking that!" Sniz says: "And to decide who gets who, we'll settle the matter with a coin toss! Po, Johnny, as team leaders, you'll decide who gets what. Johnny, you'll make the call. If you're right, you get first pick! If you're wrong, Po gets first pick! Call it!" Johnny says: "Heads!" Sniz flips the coin, and it lands tail-side up! Johnny says: "RATS! Tails!" Sniz says: "Po, who do you want?" Po says: "Larry, no contest!" Sniz says: "That means that the Killer Prawns get Angelica by default!" Angelica walks over to the Killer Prawns, and Tigress says: "And DON'T think that I'm going to let you SLACK off, EITHER! You are GOING to be WINNING this challenge for me, and YOU are GOING to LIKE it!" And Angelica is taken ABACK by this statement!

(Confessional) Angelica says: "Wow! Did I sound THAT narcissistic and deluded when I was a COMPLETE villain?! Why didn't somebody TELL me that I was sounding SO stupid?! Then again, I probably wouldn't have listened anyways, and probably DIDN'T if I'm being completely honest with myself!" / Larry says: "I sure did luck out! I actually wanted to BE with the Power Pandas, and I GET to be with the Power Pandas! It will be nice to help Po get the win, hopefully!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right, teams, to your boats! Power Pandas, you get the green boat! Killer Prawns, you get the red boat! And if you need a refresher, there are instruction manuals on deck, that tells you how to run a ship! They are SURE to come in handy!" Brittany says: "Aye-aye, captain!" Sniz says: "Hey, is it just me, or do you LOOK like you're a little taller?" Tigress asks: "Are you choosing NOW to have a growth spurt?" Brittany says: "I don't think this feels natural!" Kowalski gasps, and he says: "The giant ACORN!!!! Brittany, that giant acorn ABSORBED the Anti-Fairy magic that was in the Anti-Fairy Marshmallow! By eating it, you must have ABSORBED the magic that CAUSED the giant acorn to grow, and now, it's causing YOU to grow!" Johnny asks: "Is this going to be a problem?" Brittany says: "In terms of clothes, no! It's a good thing I'm wearing SPANDEX clothing! Guaranteed to stretch to fit ANY size, or DOUBLE your money back!" Bubble Bass says: "Good thing! The media watchdogs would have a FIT if YOUR clothes ripped!" Tigress asks: "How much WEIGHT can a Spanish Galleon hold?" Sniz says: "Look, if the Spanish Galleon can support ANGELICA'S massive ego, I'm sure it can hold Brittany, no matter HOW big she gets!" Angelica sarcastically says: "Ho, ho, very funny. Ha, ha. It IS to laugh!" Marlene says: "All right! Enough small talk, it's time to get this show on the road! Or on the water, as the case may be! Teams, to your boats!" And the two teams load their respective boats! Marlene says: "Teams! On your marks, get set--." (Blows Whistle!) Marlene shouts: "GO!!!!" And the two teams launch from the port, with the Power Pandas slowly pulling ahead! Sniz shouts: "By the way, we have a previously unused song idea that we want you sing! So, if you want to show a little enthusiasm, why don't you sing? It would bring in the ratings!" Angelica says: "Just so long as it's not a song by HEART, I'm golden!" Sniz shouts: "Since you're not evil anymore, I'll allow it! Sing, The Beatles' song, 'All Together Now'!" /

Larry sings: "One, two, three, four; can I have a little more? Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, I love you." Johnny sings: "A, B, C, D, can I bring my friend to tea? E, F, G, H, I, J, I love you." Brittany sings: "Bom bom bom bompa bom, sail the ship!" Po, to Jenny: "Bompa bom, chop the tree." (And she chops a submerged tree in the water). Tigress, to Angelica: "Bompa bom, skip the rope!" (And Tigress FORCES Angelica to jump over a rope!) Angelica, sarcastically: "Bompa bom, look at me." Po, and Bubble Bass alternate: "All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now." Jenny sings: "Black, white, green, red." Bubble Bass points to a picture of Blonda: "Can I take my friend to bed? Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue, I love you." Private and Kowalski alternate: "All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now." Larry sings: "Bom bom bom bompa bom, sail the ship! Bompa bom, Chop the tree! Bompa bom, skip the rope! Bompa bom, look at me!" Everyone sings: "All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now!" / And the song ends, and Sniz says: "And there they go, off on their epic journey across Lake Michigan! It's sure to be an exciting excursion for them, and a thrilling adventure to witness! How will it turn out? We'll find out, once we come back for some mandatory messages, from our gracious sponsors, on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! Arrr, mateys!" / (Commercial Break) /

After the commercials end, the camera opens up on Marlene, back on the island. Marlene says: "Welcome back to the action already in progress. The two teams are in hot pursuit for the Fountain Of Youth, but there obstacles in their way, and they about to come upon them, right now!" / The camera switches to the Power Pandas, in their Spanish Galleon. Jenny is stearing the ship, thanks to having the necessary job skills downloaded into her computer-based memory, while Private and Kowalski are busy making sure the sails are catching the maximum amount of wind, while Po and Larry look out for any danger. Po asks: "Say, Larry, have you ever fought against any pirates?" Larry says: "Personally, no, I haven't. But I'm not one to shy away from danger. After all, I fought against Master Vile in season two, lest you forget that important fact. Helping you fight against pirates would be par for the course for me!" Private looks out ahead, and he says: "Forget pirates! We've got some SIRENS to worry about!" And sure enough, the mermaids from "The Legend of the Bikini Bottom Triangle" episode, are on an outcropping of rocks, singing a siren song, which is actually a 1985 hit song, by a band called The Mary Jane Girls, called, "In My House!" /

The Mermaids sing: "Boy, you can just best believe I'm the only girl in your life. I'll be your sugar in the morning and the sweet stuff you need at night. And you can just best believe when it comes down to makin' love, I'll satisfy your every need and every fantasy you think of. So when you need a little piece of mind, come on over, boy, any time. I'll keep you happy and so satisfied, in my house, in my house. So when you need some love and tenderness, and it's me, baby, that you miss. Here's the key to unlock the door, to my house, my house. Ooh...in my house. Ooh-ooh-ooh...in my house. Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh. Boy, any time, day or night, when you call me, I will be there. Just call me up on the phone when you need someone 'round to care. And when you feel sad and blue, you just come and see me anytime. I'll kiss away all your tears, and your fears you can leave behind. So when you need a little piece of mind, come on over, boy, any time. I'll keep you happy and so satisfied, in my house, in my house. So when you need some love and tenderness, and it's me, baby, that you miss; here's the key to unlock the door, to my house, in my house. Ooh! In my house! Ooh-ooh-ooh...in my house. Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh. Ooh...in my house. Ooh-ooh-ooh...in my house. Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh. Ooh...in my house. Ooh-ooh-ooh...in my house. Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh. Ooh...in my house. Ooh-ooh-ooh...in my house. Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh." / Private notices himself UNWILLINGLY drifting closer to the Sirens! Private says: "Kowalski! Those Sirens are singing catchy hit songs by one-hit wonders from the 1980's! I can't fight it!" Kowalski says: "You've GOT to, man! Jenny, QUICK!!!! Tie us up until we're safely out of range!" Jenny asks: "But what about me?" Po says: "The sirens call only seems to be affecting us! You're a female robot, so you're immune!" Jenny says: "Lucky for you!"

 And Jenny quickly finds some rope, and ties the guys up to the main mast at the center of the ship! Jenny says: "There! Now you CAN'T move a muscle!" Private asks: "But what if one of us has to SNEEZE or something?" Jenny says: "Than point your beak or mouth AWAY from everyone else!" Kowalski says: "Somehow, that doesn't SOUND very helpful!" / Meanwhile, the Killer Prawns are approaching the Sirens, as well! Angelica says: "UGH!!!! And I thought being tortured by music from Heart was a bad thing! I can't believe I've gotten dragged into THIS awful thing!" Johnny says: "You call THIS awful?! Man, their music is KILLER!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Don't go NEAR them! Don't you know what Sirens DO to guys that fall into their traps?! They COOK you, than EAT you! Or WORSE!" Johnny asks: "What could be WORSE than THAT?!" Bubble Bass says: "GIFT Shops!" Johnny gasps, and says: "Than tie me up, quick!" Brittany asks: "But what about Bubble Bass?!" Bubble Bass says: "Those Sirens aren't affecting ME; I'm ALREADY in love with Blonda, and THAT over-powers their spell!" Brittany says: "Lucky!" Tigress looks ahead, and she says: "FORGET about the Sirens, we've got rogue pirates at High Noon!" And sure enough, the Salty Spitoon gang start FIRING loud cannons at both the Power Pandas, AND the Killer Prawns! Angelica screams: "AHHH!!!! I'm going to die, I'm going to DIE!!!! I'm gonna be BLOWN up, and than I'm going to die!!!!" (Confessional) Angelica tearfully writes what APPEARS to be a Last Will and Testament! Angelica says: "To my mother, and my father, I leave my entire collection of trophies, medals, awards, and other academic achievements, that I have earned throughout the years. To my two younger cousins, Tommy and Dil, I leave..." Than Angelica changes her tone, and angrily says: "NOTHING!!!! Earn it YOURSELVES, you SLACKERS!" (End Confessional) Bubble Bass looks at their ship, and notices that it is slowing DOWN, due to Brittany getting even BIGGER!!!!

Bubble Bass discreetly says: "Tigress! We need to address the ELEPHANT in the room that we NEED to get RID of!" Brittany says: "I heard that! And I agree! Get RID of ANGELICA'S massive ego! We've got to, lighten the LOAD!!!!" Tigress, with faux empathy, says: "Oh, you want to lighten the LOAD!!!!" Tigress quickly GRABS Brittany, and Tigress says: "EXCELLENT IDEA!!!!" And Tigress THROWS Brittany over-board! Tigress says: "And Angelica, YOU make yourself USEFUL for a change, and dive underwater!" Angelica asks: "Whatever FOR?!" Tigress says: "For the Pendant of LIFE, of course! I'd do it myself, but I finally got my FUR looking just the way I WANT it to look, and I don't want to break a nail!" Johnny says: "HELLO!!!! We're standing RIGHT HERE!!!! We can HEAR every single WORD you are SAYING!!!!" Tigress says: "Than I don't have to repeat myself! Besides, who's going to STOP ME?!!!" Than EVERYONE begins to feel a gigantic RUMBLING around them, as who should EMERGE from Lake Michigan, EXCEPT for Brittany, who has NOW grown to be a WHOLE fifty feet HIGH!!!! Johnny Krill says: "A 50 foot woman INEXPLICABLY appearing in the middle of a large body of water in a pirate adventure?! What kind of weird experience are we living in ANYWAYS?!!!" Bubble Bass says: "At least in THIS case, we KNOW what CAUSED her growth!" Brittany suddenly feels the Pirates FOOLISHLY firing their cannons at her! But to Brittany's now gigantic size, they feel less effective than peas being shot out of a pea shooter, and she SLAMS into the pirates' ship, forcing them to swim away from their sinking ship! Tigress says: "Hey! How DARE you?! Attacking the Pirates was totally MY thing! I'm SUPPOSED to be the BIG action star around HERE! I WIN all the CHALLENGES!!!! Turn around and FIGHT like me, unless you're a COWARD!!!!" And in a big, BOOMING voice, Brittany says: "WHAT DID MEAN LADY CALL ME?!!!"

Johnny says: "Tigress, if you ONLY listen to me for ONCE in your LIFE, do it NOW, and WALK away FOREVER!!!!" But Tigress either doesn't listen, doesn't care, or doesn't TAKE Brittany seriously, or any combination of, or ALL of the above, and she simply says: "I'll say it to your FACE!!!! You ARE a COWARD!!!!" Brittany gets up CLOSE to the Pirate Ship, and she loudly says: "COME ON, THEN!!!! SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!!!!" Tigress says: "GLADLY!!!!" And she RUSHES up to Brittany's face, and, PUNCH, PUNCH, PUNCHES her in her left cheek, only to notice that Brittany isn't even FLINCHING, and Tigress meekly says: "Uh-oh!" And Brittany GRABS Tigress, in Brittany's now GIGANTIC-sized fist! Angelica asks: "Brittany isn't attacking ME?!" Bubble Bass says: "Why WOULD she? You haven't been antagonizing HER, all season long, the way, Tigress has!" Tigress screams: "WHAT?!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Look! You WANTED me to be honest to you, now you're getting it, whether YOU like it or not! And SPOILER alert, not EVERYONE who is HONEST to you, thinks that stroking your ego, is the HIGHLIGHT of their lives, and everyone LIVES to lose to YOU!!!!" Tigress says: "If I could GET my arms FREE, I will..." Brittany menacingly says: "Do WHAT?!!!" Tigress gulps, and meekly says: "Mother!" / Jenny spots the situation happening with Brittany and Tigress, and Jenny says: "Po! Brittany has grown to an impressive 50 feet from the Giant Acorn that she ate! And she's GOT Tigress!" Kowalski says: "Better HER than US, I should think!" Private says: "But Brittany can't HURT another contestant, no matter HOW horrid they've been to everyone else! Someone has to stop her!" Jenny says: "Well, I do have ONE thing!" Jenny flies closer to Brittany, but not TOO close, to avoid any possible attacks! Jenny pulls out a megaphone, and she shouts: "Hey, Brittany!" Brittany shouts: "WHAT?!!!"

Jenny pulls out the "Total Cartoon" rule-book out of her database, and Jenny says: "Rule 42, all persons more than a mile high, must LEAVE the game IMMEDIATELY!" Brittany says: "I AM NOT A MILE HIGH, AND I'M NOT LEAVING!!!! NOT UNTIL TIGRESS HAS LEARNED SOME RESPECT!!!!" Jenny yells: "She's NOT listening to REASON!!!!" Kowalski says: "Than ATTACK her!" Jenny says: "I'm NOT going to get hit with Penalty Votes!" Po says: "Than throw me to Brittany! Maybe I can REASON with her!" Larry says: "Okay! I sure hope YOU know what you're doing, because I sure don't!" And Larry throws Po to Brittany! Po lands on Brittany's back, and Po IMMEDIATELY tries to PUNCH, PUNCH, PUNCH her, only for Brittany to laugh, and say: "NICE MASSAGE, BUT YOU LACK SUBTLETY!!!!" And Brittany simply GRABS Po in her OTHER hand! Brittany says: "WELL, WELL, THE PANDA AND THE TIGER, TOGETHER AGAIN, AT LONG LAST!!!!" Po weakly says: "Okay, maybe we got off on the WRONG foot, but I was simply trying to save Tigress like a GOOD boyfriend would! You've got to believe me, Tigress just wants what is best for her team, the same way I do!" Brittany says: "IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT, PANDA!!!! TIGRESS MAY HAVE BEEN A GOOD COMPETITOR, BUT NOW, SHE'S CHIPMUNK PELLETS!!!!" Tigress nervously says: "You don't want to eat ME!!!! I'd be so TOUGH, and...gamey!" Po says: "And I'm 776 pounds of muscle! That would ruin YOUR diet, QUICK!!!!" Brittany says: "TRUE, I AM WATCHING MY FIGURE! PERHAPS ITS TIME I SPARE YOU!!!!" And Brittany THROWS Po and Tigress to the island where the Spanish Galleons are headed, and to the HORRORS of Sniz and Fondue, Po and Tigress land RIGHT in the middle of the Fountain Of Youth! Sniz asks: "Fondue, is THIS going to be a problem?!" Fondue says: "I hope not! General Barracuda, get to that island, QUICK!!!!" General Barracuda says: "I'm on it!" And General Barracuda gets on an air-water boat, and jets off!

Sniz says: "Marlene, have the paramedics on stand-by!" Marlene says: "Already done!" Sniz says: "And I better get the LEGAL paperwork ready just in case! This might not be pretty!" / The camera shifts to the two Spanish Galleons, trying to get to the island, but having to contend with the now giant Brittany! Brittany shouts: "NOW, WHO ELSE WANTS SOME?!!!" Bubble Bass desperately says: "Brittany!!!! You DON'T want to DO this! THINK about it! Tigress was mean to you, you're being mean to HER! Does that REALLY make you feel any better?! Take it from someone who has HAD experience! Revenge is NOT going to make you feel better, and it's only going to make you WORSE, and you will suffer CONSEQUENCES from it! Trust me! I once got petty revenge on Spongebob on two different occasions, simply because I was mad that I currently didn't have a father figure in my life, and each time, I suffered BAD consequences BECAUSE of that! Don't MAKE the same mistakes I made! I know it's hard, but you HAVE to be the better woman! What would THEODORE want you to do?!" Brittany suddenly gasps, and in a low voice, she says: "HE...WOULD WANT ME...TO DO...THE RIGHT...THING...OHHH!!!!" And Brittany's body suddenly glows, and she suddenly shrinks BACK down to her normal size, and FALLS back into the Lake! Bubble Bass says: "Hold ON, Brittany!!!!" And Bubble Bass dives in after her, but he miscalculates his jump, and as he jumps over the ship, his clothes are RIPPED off by a piece of lumber protruding from the ship! Bubble Bass doesn't notice though, because he's too focused on saving Brittany! Bubble Bass does so, and pulls her back up to the surface, and back onto the Pirate Ship! Johnny Krill pats Brittany on the back, to get any water she might have swallowed out of her body, and Brittany, in her normal voice, says: "I'm...I'm ALIVE!!!!" And she looks at Bubble Bass, and she says: "And you're...you're NAKED!!!!"

Bubble Bass says: "AGAIN?!!! I'm starting to WONDER why I even BOTHER wearing clothes to these challenges at all!" Johnny says: "Because it's FUNNY!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "No it's NOT! It's just STUPID!!!! It's almost as DUMB as the time Spongebob Squarepants sold everything INCLUDING all his clothes, just so he could buy the Le Spatula 3,000!" Johnny says: "Well, your clothes are RIGHT there! No need to get ANGRY about it!" And Bubble Bass, in a huff, puts his clothes back on! Anti-Cosmo appears, and he nervously says: "What do you know? I guess the growth affect that affected Brittany, wasn't PERMANENT after all!" Bubble Bass sarcastically says: "NO!!!! Really, do you THINK?! Why don't you go and bother someone else, like the band-members from 1980's boy band Menudo?" Anti-Cosmo says: "You mean Ricky Martin? Nope! Been there, done that!" But he poofs away, anyways! Brittany says: "Thanks for rescuing me, Bubble Bass. I'm sorry I was so much trouble." Bubble Bass says: "It's okay. Far more important, is whether or not Po and Tigress are okay." Johnny says: "And the Power Pandas have already begun to dock!" And the Spanish Galleon the Power Pandas are on, pulls into port! Bubble Bass says: "Come on, Angelica! Help us get our ship docked! We've got to help the others!" Angelica sighs, and says: "Well, all right. As long as I don't have to look for the Pendant Of Life." (Confessional) Brittany says: "On a scale from 1 to 10, temporarily growing into a giant WAS pretty amazing! Of course, I wouldn't recommend it on a daily, or even a once a DECADE basis!" / Bubble Bass says: "I HAD to rescue Brittany, okay?! If not for HER sake, than for Theodore's! He certainly wouldn't forgive anybody if something were to happen to Brittany! Besides, rescuing her probably gave me some good karma. And in a show like this, I'll take any good karma I can get!" / Johnny says: "I sure am glad SOMEBODY put Tigress in her place! Maybe NOW, she'll be a little bit NICER for the wear!" (End Confessional)

The camera shifts to where Po and Tigress have landed! Po and Tigress come out of the Fountain of Youth, but notice that they are now SIGNIFICANTLY smaller, to when they were before! In a little girl's voice, Tigress asks: "What HAPPENED to us?! GASP!!!! And WHY do I sound like I'm only nine years OLD?!!!" Po, in a younger voice, says: "I think that's because we ARE nine years old...AGAIN!!!! We fell into the Fountain of Youth! We must have accidentally drank some of the water, and it CUT our ages down in half!" Tigress says: "But I don't WANT to be nine AGAIN!!!! Not only don't I have my MUSCLES, but NOBODY ever HUGGED me!!!!" Po gasps, and he says: "WOAH! Nobody, ever HUGGED you?!" Tigress cries, and she says: "No, not even Master Shifu! I just want to be LOVED! Is that SO wrong?! I guess, the reason why I'm so aggressive, is because nobody ever showed me the love I wanted when I was a child!" Po says: "Well, that's going to change, starting right now! Let me give you the hugs you ALWAYS wanted as a child, but NEVER got! You've got someone who will ALWAYS love you, no matter WHAT happens to you!" And Po HUGS Tigress, and to Tigress' amazement, the Pendant of Life falls RIGHT out of her pocket! Tigress picks it up, and she says: "The Pendant of Life! It was in the Fountain of Youth all along! It must have somehow wound up in my pocket during all the confusion!" Po says: "Wow! What a lucky break!" Tigress asks: "Lucky break! Hold on! Why am I the only one who keeps FINDING these Pendants of Life?! Why do these Pendants of Life ALWAYS seem to wind up in MY possession?! And if I play this Pendant of Life tonight, I'll bet the OTHER contestants will try to vote me off, DESPITE knowing that I have a habit of getting these Pendants of Life!" Po asks: "What are you SAYING, Tigress?"

Tigress suspiciously says: "I think SOMEBODY WANTS me to get over-complacent, with these Pendants of Life always WINDING up in my hands! Sure, they're helpful! But the more I use them, the more I could get over-complacent, and wind up doing something STUPID that could DERAIL my whole game! I almost BLEW it with Brittany today! I can't make a mistake like that again! Not now, not EVER! I'll use it tonight, but I need to find out WHAT'S going on! Once, it's PURELY skill! Twice, a happy coincidence! But THREE times in a row?! That's when I start to get suspicious!" Po asks: "What do YOU want me to do about it?!" Tigress says: "Keep your eyes peeled, and if you SEE something suspicious, let me know about it IMMEDIATELY! If someone is TRYING to manipulate my game, I WANT to know about it! I'm NOT going to be the pawn of somebody's game! If I'm going to win, I want to do it on my OWN measures!" Po says: "Will do, Tigress!" And Po's now oversized adult trunks, fall down on the ground! Tigress says: "Although, you may want to find something to wear in the interim, while we wait for this Fountain Of Youth affect to wear off!" Po asks: "How come YOUR clothes still fit?" Tigress says: "I wear spandex! Guaranteed to stretch to fit ANY size, or DOUBLE your money back!" Po asks: "Do you and Brittany go to the same store?" Tigress asks: "How should I know? I don't know where Brittany BUYS her clothes!" Private and Kowalski come running up, and Private says: "Thank goodness we found you...well, MOST of you! Looks like you lost some mass and weight!" Kowalski says: "Drinking from the Fountain of Youth, even accidentally, will do that to you!" Po says: "How long is this going to last?" Kowalski says: "It depens on how old you are, decade wise. Since you're both ORIGINALLY 18, and are now nine, you should be back to your normal ages in about two days. Of course, there's no telling when the next challenge will be." Po asks: "Will you still help me?"

Private says: "Of COURSE we'll help you! We'd never leave a young child behind!" Po says: "Thank you, Private! You guys are the best!" Private says: "Well, we certainly try to be!" (Confessional) Private says: "The 'Motus Operandi', of the Penguins, is that we never leave a man, woman, or child behind, no matter WHAT the odds are!" / Kowalski says: "Private has definitely got the attitude, and the creed of the penguins down pat! It won't be long until he's learned everything I can teach him! He'll soon be capable of performing challenges without any help from me whatsoever. I knew this day would come eventually, I just didn't think it would come so soon! I just hope that when the time comes, if I'm no longer in the competition, Private will be able to give it everything he's got!" (End Confessional) Kowalski picks up the young Po, but Kowalski STILL falls over! Kowalski asks: "UGH!!!! How much do you WEIGH, 400 POUNDS?!!!" Po says: "Hey! I only WEIGH 388 pounds, and most of it is muscle anyways!" Larry comes up, and he says: "Hey! Need any help?!" Kowalski says: "The thought had crossed my mind!" Larry says: "Than I better carry him!" And Larry picks up Po with no problem! Private says: "All right then, let's go!" Tigress shouts: "Hey! What about me?!" Kowalski says: "Sorry! You're on the other team! Nothing personal!" Tigress scowls a bit, but thankfully, Bubble Bass and the other Killer Prawns come up! Bubble Bass says: "Tigress, you're alive! I mean, I certainly wasn't DOUBTING you were alive, because I don't think ANYTHING could kill you...uh...that, came out wrong." Tigress asks: "Where's Brittany?!" Johnny says: "She's back on the ship, and back to normal size! Apparently, turning into a giant was only a TEMPORARY side-effect of eating that giant acorn!" Tigress coyly says: "Well, that's GOOD to know!" Angelica says: "Why is that?!" Tigress says: "Well, not that it's any of YOUR concern, but the rest of us, will be voting off Brittany, TONIGHT!!!!"

Bubble Bass asks: "But why?!" Tigress says: "Simple! We GOT to! She's the only member of the Killer Prawns left, who ISN'T in our alliance!" Johnny sarcastically says: "Oh, NOW you remember that you have an alliance?!" Tigress says: "Hey! I'm ONLY a little girl of NINE at the moment, so I THINK you can CUT me a little SLACK, Mr. Macho!" Bubble Bass says: "Tigress has a POINT!" Tigress says: "So, take me back to the ship! We've got a challenge to finish!" / The camera shifts to General Barracuda, and he sees the Power Panda's Spanish Galleon coming towards him, with the Killer Prawns' Spanish Galleon not too far behind! General Barracuda calls on his cell phone, and he says: "Good news! The two teams are all right! Po and Tigress have temporarily regressed in age, but they're all right! They're coming up fast to the dock right now!" Sniz sighs in relief, and he says: "Thank GOODNESS for that! I was SO worried about what would happen to our show should anything BAD happen to anyone! That's the LAST thing I want!" Marlene announces: "And it's neck to neck between the two teams! It's the Power Pandas, the Killer Prawns, the Power Pandas, the Killer Prawns, and--!!!!" She waves her checkered flag, and she says: "And pulling into port only a MERE three seconds sooner, the Power Pandas have won the LAST team challenge!" Jenny says: "Awesome! At least SOMETHING good happened out of all this craziness today!" Marlene says: "Larry, and Angelica, you've done your duties, here are your pay-checks, you've earned them!" Larry says: "Awesome!" Angelica says: "Thank goodness! I was starting to think I'd NEVER see a dime from this show!" Sniz says: "Killer Prawns, it pains me to say this, but you have LOST the last team challenge! Therefore, tonight, you will be facing another elimination ceremony, AGAIN!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "It's no contest! Only one contestant I WANT to vote off tonight, and her name is BRITTANY!!!!" /

Johnny says: "Even though she's now cut down to size, I'm STILL voting off Tigress!" / Bubble Bass says: "Yeah, Tigress hasn't EXACTLY been the picture of an ideal friend. But, I can't abandon her now, not in the state she's in. I'm voting off Brittany!" / Brittany says: "I know it's a risky and potentially foolish move, but I've got to vote off Tigress! It's either her, or ME, who will leave the game tonight!" (End Confessional) It's night time, and the Killer Prawns are once again at the Elimination Ceremony bonfire! Sniz says: "Killer Prawns, in all honesty, your team-work, or rather, lack thereof, has been really apalling, especially for Tigress!" Tigress asks: "What's THAT supposed to mean?" Sniz asks: "Have you FORGOTTEN the Penalty Vote Rule?!!! You CAN'T hit another contestant, and YOU wailed on Brittany Miller!" Tigress yells: "She was fifty feet TALL at the time! She HARDLY felt it!" Sniz says: "Irrelevant! Hitting someone is STILL hitting someone, regardless of whether or not they felt it! So Tigress, that means you will be taking all FOUR possible penalty votes, including any possible votes that have already been cast! So--." Tigress says: "Hold it! I have read the rules, and the Pendant of Life NULLIFIES ALL votes! Even the Penalty Vote ones!" And Sniz looks at the Pendant of Life that Tigress has produced, and Johnny Krill is simply DUMBSTRUCK!!!! (Confessional) Johnny Krill shockingly says: "WHAT?!!! Does Tigress have some CREEPY Pendant of Life finding Radar INSTALLED in her BODY?!!!" / Tigress says: "I WISH I had some CREEPY Pendant of Life Finding Radar INSTALLED in my body! It would make my game a whole lot easier!" (End Confessional) Sniz asks: "General Barracuda?" General Barracuda says: "Tigress' claim holds up! The Pendant of Life nullifies ALL votes, even Penalty Vote ones!" Sniz says: "Than that means, all votes cast for Tigress will NOT count, not even the Penalty Votes!"

Sniz says: "One penalty vote for Tigress, doesn't count. One penalty vote for Tigress, doesn't count. One penalty vote for Tigress, doesn't count. One penalty vote for Tigress, doesn't count. One vote for Tigress, cast by Brittany, doesn't count. One vote for Tigress, cast by Johnny Krill, doesn't count. One vote for Brittany, cast by Bubble Bass, counts. And one vote for Brittany, cast by Tigress, counts! That means that Brittany Miller, your time on this game show has once again, come to an end. The Slingshot of Shame awaits you, Brittany. Your team has spoken." Tigress says: "Nice to see that I STILL have at least ONE friend who's loyal to me!" Bubble Bass says: "Come on! You're NINE right now! I wasn't going to vote you off like a CREEP! I'm better than that!" Tigress says: "It's nice to know that SOMEBODY is!" (Confessional) Johnny sighs, and he says: "Tigress is SO going to KILL me when she gets back to her normal age!" / Bubbble Bass says: "Johnny has no one to blame but himself for the predicament he's in right now. Never VOTE off a tiger, if you WANT to keep your HEAD attached to your BODY!" (End Confessional) Brittany Miller is all packed up, AGAIN, and about to get on the Slingshot of Shame! Brittany says: "Wait! Can I at least sing one more song, before I go?!" Tigress says: "After THREATENING me, do you expect me to--?!" Sniz says: "Sounds like a GREAT idea! Hit it, Brittany!" / And flowing, orchestral music plays, as Brittany suddenly sings: "You're here, there's nothing I fear, and I know that my heart will go on! We'll stay forever this way! You are safe in my heart, and my heart will go on and on!!!!" Brittany air fist-pumps, and she says: "Nailed it! Fire away, Sniz!" And Sniz launches Brittany Miller out of the game, for the final time, and Brittany shouts: "Good-bye!!!!"
Sniz says: "And just like that, Brittany Miller is once and for all, out of the game! And when we come back, the teams will be merged, and the competition is bound to get hotter! Will Tigress and Po be able to stay in the game despite their temporary age reduction? How long will they be stuck as kids? And can anyone STOP Tigress from finding the Pendant of Life?!" Tigress says: "I highly doubt it!" Sniz says: "Those answers, and possibly more, may come up, on the next episode of 'Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back'! I LOVE my job!" /

Episode Notes: Eliminated Contestants: #14: Bessie Higgenbottom ("The Mighty B!") #13. Rico ("The Penguins of Madagascar"). #12. Katarra ("Avatar: The Last Airbender"). #11. Theodore Seville ("Alvinnnn!!!! And The Chipmunks"). #10. Danny Fenton ("Danny Phantom"). #9. Fee ("Harvey Beaks"). #8. Brittany Miller ("Alvinnnn!!!! And The Chipmunks"). Remaining Contestants: Bubble Bass (Killer Prawn), Jenny Wakeman (Power Panda), Johnny Krill (Killer Prawn), Kowalski (Power Panda), Po (Power Panda), Private (Power Panda), Tigress (Killer Prawn). Brittany Miller is eliminated for the second and final time this season, removing all the representatives from "Alvinnnn!!!! And The Chipmunks" out of the game. Tigress finds and utilizes the Pendant of Life for the second episode in a row, and the third time overall, and is starting to get suspicious about why SHE'S the only one who's been able to find them so far. Po and Tigress are temporarily regressed to be nine years old, due to falling in the Fountain of Youth, and accidentally drinking the water in there. Larry and Angelica make cameo appearances in this episode. Featured songs in this episode include "All Together Now, In My House", and a bit of "My Heart Will Go On", sung by Brittany Miller, as a Brick Joke! The episode is a plot reference to "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End", while the episode title is a reference to "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides".
Personal Notes: Going into the Team Merge, I needed a way to make sure, that Po and Tigress didn't suddenly become the break-out juggernauts that they are on their home series, and I needed a way to install a "Drama Preserving Handicap" of sorts for the both of them. That's why I came up with the Fountain of Youth. With Po and Tigress temporarily half of their original age, it's going to be a lot more difficult for them to win the next challenge and stay in the game, giving the other contestants more of a chance to catch up to them! As for why Tigress keeps finding the Pendant of Life? You'll find that out when the time comes. Also, Brittany Miller of course, filled the role of Dakota this season. But unlike her "Revenge of the Island" counterpart, I didn't want Brittany to become a giant permanently, which is why I graciously let Brittany Miller's gigantic fate turn out to be only temporary, and let her be eliminated as the show stopping diva she truly is! Next episode is the lone Performance Review of this season, so we'll find out how the show is shaping up so far, and what the forecast for the rest of this season will be! Enough said, true believers!

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

Spoiler

Yes, Destiny

Captain Retro is on-screen. He narrates, and he says: “It has been roughly a month and a half since the Power Rangers Multiverse Force, teamed up with Legendary Rangers from the past, and brought Dr. Maniac's evil fortress crashing down on him, metaphorically speaking. Now, it is almost Valentines Day in the year 2179. In that time since the Power Rangers fought Dr. Maniac, BlackHawk and StarHawk have officially begun adjusting to being parents, with StarHawk learning how to be a mother to Aquila, and BlackHawk getting a job as a Camp Counselor at Camp Kidney. The new Thunder Rangers, Samson, Patsy, Coop, Krash'ir, and my older brother D.O.G., have begun to make use of their new powers, by mastering them in training sessions on the Simulation Planet, which is sure to come in handy once the Power Rangers must make their inevitable assault in the Nazi realm, which I cannot help them in. Usagi and Krash'ir, will often fight the various Youma that Queen Beryl sends after the population of Core Earth, together, proving that the family that fights evil together, stays together! Tommy went back to his own time to deal with Scorpina and Lokar, once and for all. Upon completing his mission, he announced his retirement from the “Power Rangers” squadron. The age of a new generation, having officially dawned on Core Earth. Naruto is trying as hard as ever to catch up to BlackHawk, hoping that his stubborn persistence will one day lead to him being able to become leader of the Power Rangers Multiverse Force again. After a fall-out, Lettuce and Pinkie Pie have now made up, determined to make their relationship work this time around, even without knowing all the possible pitfalls that might come ahead, they are determined to face it head-on. But FireHawk, however, still remains a mystery to me. What her motives are, or what her passion truly is, I cannot say for certain. Even MY powers of foresight cannot see into the riddle that she is. Whether her true goal turns out to be for good ends or for ill, that remains to be seen. Even though Dr. Maniac's body has been destroyed, I remain unconvinced that he is truly gone for good. It has been too quiet in the last month and a half. And Dr. Maniac's troops still remain loyal to him, and would certainly not go away without a plan to follow. I think Dr. Maniac ordered his troops to do something big for him, and that something may be revealed soon, especially since it is now OFFICIALLY Valentines Day, a perfect time for an evil plan to be put in motion.”

 

The camera pans around, to REVEAL that he's been saying all of this, to SCRAPPY-Doo! And Scrappy asks: “Why are you telling me all THIS for?!”

 

Captain Retro says: “First off, I wasn't JUST talking to you, I was talking to the GUARDIAN who has GRACIOUSLY decided to take you in as HIS avatar. Namely, the Rat Guardian, Templeton! You should realize how LUCKY you are, that Templeton took pity on you. The Dog Guardian would've left you to your OWN devices, since you've NEVER listened before, while any other Guardian—except for MAYBE Aslan if he IS somehow still around—would've LEFT you to rot in that Onyx Prison, without a modification to your sentence.”

 

Scrappy says: “First of all, whatever you MIGHT think of me, it's WRONG! I was NOT in that prison of Planet Onyx, because I did ANYTHING illegal! Onyx IS a planet FILLED with monsters and villains, lest YOU forget that important fact! I went to Planet Onyx, because I volunteered to be a test subject on an experimental rocket designed by Velma, that COULD fly 4,000 times faster than the speed of light! It was SUPPOSED to go to KO-35, but a rogue asteroid knocked it off course, and landed me on Planet Onyx, instead! Once I learned what Onyx was, I thought it would be a GREAT opportunity for ME, to show my friends back on Core Earth just how truly heroic I could be, by bringing in a BUNCH of evil criminals to justice, ALL by myself!”

 

Captain Retro nods, and he says: “Uh-huh. And how did THAT work out for you?!”

 

Scrappy sighs, and he says: “Not very well! Apparently, when you're only 2 feet 4 inches, your punches and kicks don't do diddly-squat on REAL monsters! Not to mention, they THREW me in jail only because they presented the judge with doctored photos and trumped-up charges of ME, disturbing the peace, assaulting them WITHOUT provocation, and JAYWALKING! Now, I might have done a LOT of things, but JAYWALKING was NOT one of them! They threw me in after a Kangaroo Court declared me guilty, and I had to sit in prison and stew until Templeton came to bail me out.”

 

Captain Retro says: “So, the live-action movie about the Scooby-Doo gang WASN'T completely true, then?”

 

Scrappy asks: “What do you mean?! WHAT live-action movie?!”

 

(One viewing of the 2002 “Scooby-Doo” movie later).

 

Scrappy does a spit-take, and he says: “I look and sound nothing LIKE that, those IDIOTS!!!! They took MY enthusiasm and passion for catching ghosts, and used it COMPLETELY out of context! Not to mention, the only reason I'm still short, is because of a genetic defect on my mother's side of the family, bless her heart. My sweet mother, Ruby-Doo, and all SHE had to go through, because she had to bear me out of wed-lock on her OWN, after her husband LEFT her!”

 

Captain Retro is STUNNED, and he says: “WOW! I had NO idea you WENT through that!”

Scrappy says: “That's why my mother thought it would be a GOOD idea for me to be with Scooby. She thought he would be a positive role-model in my life, as a surrogate father figure for the father I never REALLY had. And...I guess, maybe I came ON too strong. I just wanted to impress Scooby SO badly, that I never THOUGHT that I might have come across as annoying, or put myself in any danger. Maybe they just thought of me as a kind of tag-along kid, so they never BOTHERED to explain to me that any of the criminals we faced might have ACTUALLY been dangerous, not even those REAL ghosts we had to catch for Vincent Van Ghoul! Do you have ANY idea what kind of NIGHTMARES we had to face while CATCHING those ghosts?”

 

Captain Retro says: “Well...”

 

Scrappy says: “Rhetorical question, you DON'T want to know what kind of Nightmares WE had, TAKE MY WORD FOR IT! That's why I volunteered to go in that rocket after catching that 12th Ghost, I just couldn't STAND having to deal with those nightmares anymore. I guess Daphne and the others took it the wrong way, and thought I was being a selfish jerk. I wasn't TRYING to be, I was just trying to SAVE what LITTLE sanity I STILL had after all those HORRIBLE nightmares! The cartoon series BASED on our experience trying to capture the Ghosts from the Chest of Demons, were NOTHING like the 'Jolly Good Times' that were often depicted in that series!”

 

Captain Retro says: “Well, to be FAIR, television guidelines were a LOT stricter back then. They could probably make the REAL deal on Netflix now. Of course, if what you're saying is any indication, what YOU really experienced would be more suitable for an 'After the End/What-If?' Comic-book series like, Scooby-Doo Apocalypse.”

 

Scrappy asks: “They MADE a 'What-If' comic-book series called Scooby-Doo Apocalypse? MAN! You disappear into a worm-hole, find out that while only FIVE minutes passed for you, 193 years passed for everyone else, and the WHOLE world went nuts!”

 

Captain Retro says: “Anyways, the reason I'm explaining this to you, is to catch you up to speed with what the Power Rangers have been up to. And since I CAN'T go into the Nazi Realm, and YOU have a Guardian who CAN, I think you would be an ideal candidate to help the Power Rangers out in that realm. It would be, good practice for you, should you ever prove qualified enough to someday, maybe even take MY place as Dog Guardian!”

 

Scrappy asks: “Why would I need to take YOUR place?! You have amazing powers, I don't!”

 

Captain Retro says: “The times are changing. Power Rangers don't live forever, even WITHOUT occasionally getting killed. Even the avatar of a guardian can only last as long as their will can hold out. Besides, I don't WANT to do this by LIVING forever, I would be a fool and a cheat to try. Besides, I've got a girlfriend that I've fallen in love with. And I don't want to fall into a May-December Romance, where she grows old and dies without me, while I remain young. That's why I want to be able to 'Pass the Torch' myself someday, so I can live an HONEST life with her. She deserves that, from me.”

 

Scrappy says: “I'll do my best, Captain Retro. That's both ME, and Templeton talking. But if that live-action movie is any indication, I don't exactly HAVE the best reputation on Core Earth.”

 

Captain Retro says: “That movie was a LONG time ago. Time...often heals a lot of wounds, Scrappy-Doo, even the ones that you CAN'T see on the inside. My older brother can show you the ropes on how to be a TRUE hero, and teach you how to do heroics, the right way!”

 

Scrappy says: “So, you're sending me to learn how to be a true hero, with your older brother, D.O.G.–STILL can't believe THAT'S his real name—and hopefully, be redeemed in the eyes of millions! Tell me, is your older brother anything LIKE you; is he good?”

 

Captain Retro says: “Oh, he's very good, but kind of a 'Cloud-Cuckoolander', and DON'T tell him I said that. Heroes come in all shapes and sizes, but I think he will be good for you. He has an AMAZING amount of patience, and is FIERCELY loyal to anyone he considers his friends.”

 

Scrappy says: “Well, if your brother means THAT much to you, I'll certainly do my best to live up to both YOUR, and your older brother's expectations!”

 

Captain Retro says: “That's certainly good to hear!”

 

Captain Retro pushes a button on his communicator, and says: “Omnus, he's been given the orientation. He's ready to be warped.”

 

Omnus says: “Acknowledged. Activating the warp system for Mr. Scrappy Cornelius Doo.”

And Scrappy is warped from Captain Retro's Pocket Dimension, to the Command Center on Core Earth. Captain Retro says: “Good luck, Scrappy-Doo.” /

 

Meanwhile, in the Neo Empire Gear Factory, the Mecha-Clones, Mettzler, Fara, Farrah Cat, and Meison, are working under Psygorn's instructions, to finish a project that they have been hard at work on for quite a while now!

 

Psygorn says: “You Mecha-Clones, let's show a little initiative! And you Farrah Cat, GET your rear in gear! Put your WEAK backs into it!”

 

Meison says: “Yeah, I had a weak back, about a WEEK back!”

 

Mettzler says: “Hey, temporary boss! Construction is completed!”

 

Fara says: “Yeah, when's lunch?”

 

Psygorn says: “Soon. It's time to play the instructions that Dr. Maniac has left for us one last time, before we begin the integration process.”

 

And Psygorn slips a D.V.D., into a Disc player, titled, “Dr. Maniac's Super Secret Plan!”

The Disc begins playing, and Dr. Maniac's old, human appearance graces the screen. He says: “Greetings fellow minions, those who have LOYALLY remained! I trust the construction process has been completed based on MY genius blueprints, and NO short-cuts were taken, that means YOU, Psygorn! The time has come to COMPLETE the integration process, so if you ARE watching this, than my old human body IS permanently deceased! It is time to COMPLETE my transition, and become the machine I was ALWAYS meant to be! It's time to put the 'Neo', into Neo Empire Gear! Psygorn, place the brain!”

 

Psygorn grabs Dr. Maniac's brain, now safely encased in a jar with a weird, liquid gel surrounding his brain, and Psygorn says: “You've got it, boss!"

 

Psygorn places the brain in the jar, into a COMPLETELY metallic body, and slams the HEAD lid on it, TIGHT, with metallic, silver hair over the head! On the Disc, Dr. Maniac says: “Supply the initializing ingredient, the most POWERFUL machine fuel, EVER invented by men!”

 

Mettzler says: “On it!”

 

And Mettzler, grabs a hose, and pumps it into a machine chest cavity. The hose, is pumping from a TANK load of liquid, and the liquid container says: “Mulan Szechuan McNugget Sauce!”

Mettzler says: “It's full!”

 

On the Disc, Dr. Maniac says: “Close the chest cavity!”

 

And the chest cavity is slammed shut, revealing a Titanium-Steel Alloy body, covered with the clothes that Dr. Maniac wore while as a human. On the Disc, Dr. Maniac says: “Now, turn the electricity conductor to 2,000 WATTS! Give my NEW body LIFE! LIFE, I tell you, LIFE!!!!”

Meison turns on the electricity conductor. It SURGES through the metallic body, bringing it on-line, and JOLTING it to a sitting position! The metallic body suddenly SPEAKS, in UNISON with the Dr. Maniac disc, with Dr. Maniac's VOICE, now sounding more metallic than before, and the metallic robot says with his former human self: “I have transcended DEATH! Dr. Maniac now LIVES, and WALKS again! I feel so GOOD, I can CONQUER a planet! And best of all, NOBODY, not even RADIGUET can get in my way, THIS time! ALL will bow before me!”

 

The disc stops playing, and the robot says: “Say hello to NEO Dr. Maniac! New and improved, you might say! With fire-power and strength my former human self could only DREAM of! Mettzler, what is the status of Queen Beryl, and her quest to revive Queen Metallia?”

 

Mettzler says: “Well, boss, her progress has been slow, but she has been hard at work on it. Our secret computer link to HER inner system, let's us monitor EVERYTHING they are doing, with them being NONE the wiser for it! Our scanners indicate, that they've gathered 20% of the energy that they need to revive Queen Metallia. Furthermore, we have reason to believe, that the Power Rangers will mount an assault on the Nazi realm, sometime in the future. If we can gather up ALL the Nazi weapons in the Nazi realm, modify and IMPROVE upon them, as WELL as pulling a 'Grand Theft Me' ON Queen Metallia once she IS revived as YOU plan to do, taking on Radiguet, even WITH Chaos God Powers, shall prove to be a Cake Walk for YOU, Neo Dr. Maniac!”

 

Neo Dr. Maniac coldly says: “Excellent! Most excellent, indeed! What FOOLS those mortals be! They shall RUE the day they EVER thought they COULD destroy NEO Dr. Maniac! MWA, HA, HA! MWA, HA, HA, HA, HA! MWA, HA, HA! MWA, HA, HA, HA, HA!!!!” /

 

Meanwhile, in a Lounge Bar, Lettuce is dressed up in an Elvis wig and jumpsuit, holding a microphone, and singing. Oddly enough, he's singing the Weird Al Yankovic song, “One More Minute”! /

 

Lettuce sings: “Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Well, I heard that you're leaving. (Leaving) Gonna leave me far behind. (So far behind) Cause you found a brand new lover. You decided that I'm not your kind. So I pulled (I pulled) your name out (name out) of my Rolodex. And I tore all your pictures in two. And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go, just because it reminds me of you! (Dippity dippity doo) That's right (that's right), you ain't gonna see me crying. I'm glad (I'm glad) that you found somebody new. Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass, than spend one more minute with you. I guess I might seem kinda bitter. You got me feeling down in the dumps. Cause I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self-service pumps! Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase! You ain't (you ain't) gonna break my heart in two. 'Cause I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face, than spend one more minute with you. I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork, than watch you going out with other men. I'd rather slam my flippers in a door, again and again and again and again and again! Oh, can't you see what I'm trying to say, Darling...I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches. (Leeches) Shove an icepick under a toenail or two. I'd rather clean all the bathroom in Grand Central Station with my tongue, than spend one more minute with you. Yes, I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks! Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue. I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades, than spend one more minute with you! I'd rather rip my heart out of my ribcage with my bare flippers, and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it 'till I die! (Gasps!) Than spend one more minute with you.” /

 

The song ends, and Lettuce hears scattered applause, notably, from Toby and Ebony (who Lettuce doesn't REALLY recognize), and Bash Buzzard and Smash Swallow. Bash Buzzard says: “Interesting song choice, Smash. Why did you pick it?”

 

Smash sighs, and says: “I feel depressed. Not only has our search for the secret identities of the Power Rangers turned up NOTHING of interest in the last few months, but my relationship with Pinkie Pie is officially over!”

 

Ebony asks: “Who's Pinkie Pie?”

 

Smash says: “Only the most interesting girl in the world. She BROKE my heart, than chewed it up, than spit it out, than stepped on it, than threw it down a sewer, called it names, and then LAUGHED!”

 

Toby says: “First of all, Pinkie is NOT the most interesting girl in the world, Ebony is. Second of all, I don't think you're SUPPOSED to find out the secret identities of the Power Rangers. If you WERE, it would be a LOT easier to do so!”

 

Ebony says: “Might be cool, though. If you KNEW who the Power Rangers were, imagine what being friends with THEM would be like!”

 

Lettuce says: “Well, you'll have to imagine without me, my shift is over. And while I feel sorry for your loss, Smash, I have a date, with MY girlfriend, I have decided that the time has come to OFFICIALLY announce my feelings for her! She IS the one for me! I'm going to follow my heart, and say, 'Yes, Destiny'. I'm going to marry her. Today is going to be the HAPPIEST day of our lives...so far!”

 

And Lettuce leaves the building. Smash says: “This is the SADDEST day of my life!”

 

Toby asks: “Why? I mean, you seem like a decent enough guy. Who would Pinkie Pie rather be with, if NOT with you?”

 

Bash Buzzard says: “The SAME guy who just sung that song, Lettuce Manchot! If that wasn't bad enough, he sometimes fancies himself as a Private/Penguin Investigator! What's he GOT that Smash hasn't got?!”

 

Ebony says: “Well, money AND good looks...for a penguin. But I don't think dating someone BIRD like would work out well for me. That's why I'm with Toby, he likes me for the girl I am!”

 

Smash says: “Lucky! And Toby, what's YOUR secret?! How did YOU snag a girl, like Ebony?!”

 

Toby says: “First of all, 'Snag', is not the word I would use for ANYTHING, not even for obtaining Pokemon, about 444 of them from four generations worth of adventures that I treat ALL with the loving respect and care that they all deserve. I know it's cliché, but with great power, DOES come great responsibility, and that's something that I don't want to take lightly. Second, I'm not sure why, but the first thing we BOTH remember, is falling out of some kind of a worm-hole together. We started talking, we got to know each other for the past month or so, and we found out that we have a healthy relationship with each other. If you want to find someone of your own, I'm afraid it takes time. You need someone you have a healthy amount of things in common with, someone you can cherish and care for, and someone who KNOWS that you might have your own quirks, but will STILL like you, because they know that you ARE good at heart, and are willing to LEARN from any unintentional mistakes that you might make, because you are WILLING to be good to your soul-mate, no matter WHAT kinds of things that life may throw at you!”

 

Smash Swallow says: “A soul-mate. Say, Bash, do you think you and I–?”

 

Bash immediately says: “No.”

 

Smash chuckles, and he says: “That's actually, pretty funny.” /

 

Meanwhile, outside of the lounge, Lettuce packs up his performance gear, and gets out a BIG, impressive GOLD Ring, with the words, “Love you forever, Pinkie”, engraved in the ring. Lettuce says: “It's perfect, she'll LOVE it!” (Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep!)

Lettuce says: “Duty calls. A Ranger's work is never done.”

 

Lettuce answers the communicator and says: “Yes, Omnus, what is it?”

 

Omnus says: “Rangers, warp to the Command Center at once! The Rat Guardian has chosen a new avatar, and he wants you all to meet him!”

 

Lettuce says: “Right! We're on our way!”

 

And Lettuce warps to the Command Center. The other Power Rangers, AND the Thunder Rangers arrive soon after Lettuce does! Lettuce says: "Samson! You guys came to?!"

 

Samson says: "Of course! If we're going to be real Power Rangers like the rest of you, than we need to stay on the same page, don't we?"

 

Krash'ir says: "Obviously, I think that should go without saying."

 

Omnus says: "Rangers, I'm so glad you could come. Even though the last month and a half has been relatively quiet, save for the occasional attack by one of Queen Beryl's Youma creatures, I feel that today will be a momentous occasion for all of us!"

 

Lettuce says: "Oh, it will be! For more reasons than ONE!"

 

Omnus says: "Anyways, the Rat Guardian, Templeton, has decided that the time has come for him to take on a new avatar body. And while normally, he would take on the body of another rat; this time, he has decided to take on the body of something different. Templeton is doing this, in order to help his avatar body gain some redemption, and become a TRUE hero, hopefully in the eyes of millions! Say hello to Templeton's NEW avatar..."

 

And a white light materializes in the Command Center, and dissipates to reveal a FAMILIAR small, brown dog. Omnus finishes: "Scrappy Cornelius Doo!"

 

FireHawk says: "You FREAK!!!!"

 

And she TRIES to fire one of her fire attacks at him, but Queen Hedrian stops it COLD with her Magic Wand! Queen Hedrian says: "What are you TRYING to do, BURN this place down?! I have worked REALLY hard to get this place CLEANED for Scrappy-Doo's introduction!"

 

Windsor Gorilla appears, and he says: "And I would be really disappointed if anything were to happen to this place, seeing as it has become my temporary home, unless Omnus can find somewhere else where I can reside."

 

FireHawk says: "Scrappy-Doo is a Grade-A JERK!!!! He HAS to GO!!!!"

 

Samson says: "Isn't that the kettle calling the pot black? Or...something, like that?"

 

FireHawk says: "What is THAT supposed to mean?!"

 

Patsy says: "Well, you're not EXACTLY the most social and outgoing among us."

 

FireHawk says: "Oh, and I suppose that YOU are considered Miss Congeniality at Camp Kidney, or Acorn Flats, or, WHEREVER it is that you come from?!"

 

Patsy says: "Well, of course! I'm the most ATHLETIC girl at Acorn Flats, AND the most attractive, and I never ONCE got attracted to a pair of DUNG beetles like my good friend Nina, once did!"

 

FireHawk says: "Well if you're SO attractive, than tell me WHY Samson isn't head over heels in LOVE with you?!"

 

Samson says: "Because I already HAVE a girlfriend!"

 

Patsy scoffs, and she says: "As if! Who would be your girlfriend if NOT me?!"

 

Samson says: "A fellow Squirrel Scout of yours named Almondine. And for YOUR information, beauty is NOT the most important quality I look for in a girl. I prefer a woman who has brains and a nice personality. Almondine fits those qualities like a glove."

 

Patsy says: "I could fit those qualities like a glove!"

 

Samson says: "With YOUR track record of beating Bean Scouts up, just so you don't disappoint your daddy? I highly doubt that!"

 

Naruto says: "At least you HAVE a girlfriend, Samson! Even I don't really have that luxury!"

 

Usagi asks: "What are you talking about?"

 

Naruto says: "HELLO!!!! Being in a long-distance relationship SUCKS! And everyone ELSE here has a significant other EXCEPT for me! Usagi and Krash'ir are in a relationship, Lettuce and Pinkie have repaired THEIR relationship,  BlackHawk and StarHawk are great in THEIR relationship, Samson is in a relationship, even COOP has a relationship! Patsy, FireHawk, and D.O.G., have...well, I don't KNOW if they have a relationship, unless ONE of them has a date with 'Rosie Palms'."

 

StarHawk asks: "BlackHawk, who is this 'Rosie Palms'?"

 

BlackHawk says: "THAT, you don't want to know. TAKE my WORD for it!"

 

Naruto says: "And YOU think you're SO great, aren't you?! You and your STUPID new powers! Ever since you got the power of the Gold Ranger, you've been SHOWING it off every single chance you GOT! If I had new powers, than Omnus would SEE how truly great I am, and put me BACK as leader of this team!"

 

Coop says: "Look, if you're SO upset by BlackHawk currently being stronger than you, than why don't you get some therapy like BlackHawk did AFTER his forced servitude with the Night Master, and talk things over with a therapist?"

 

Naruto says: "Look! Trying to be BETTER than BlackHawk is my ONLY defining characteristic trait on this WHOLE stupid team! Now, it is a STUPID characteristic, but I'M GOING TO USE IT!"

 

Alpha 8 says: "Look, can we PLEASE get back to the REAL reason why we're here?! Omnus is waiting to tell us the reason WHY Scrappy-Doo is here!"

 

Naruto groans, and says: "FINE! I'll deal with this problem later, NOT that it would be any NEW information to anyone here!"

 

Omnus says: "Anyways, the reason why Templeton has chosen Scrappy-Doo to be his avatar, is for two reasons. The biggest reason of course, is to help Scrappy-Doo redeem himself in the eyes of MILLIONS, and hopefully become a TRUE hero!"

 

FireHawk mutters under her breath: "Fat chance of THAT happening!"

 

Scrappy-Doo says: "I HEARD THAT!!!!"

 

D.O.G., says: "IGNORE HER!!!!"

 

Omnus says: "Noted, moving on. The second reason Templeton has chosen Scrappy-Doo to be his new avatar, is because as you know, Captain Retro can't and isn't allowed to protect you in the Nazi realm, but Templeton CAN enter that realm, and ANY avatar he is currently using. Therefore, Captain Retro has agreed with me, that he should stay with D.O.G., and Coop, seeing as how BlackHawk and StarHawk have now moved out and gotten a place of their own."

 

BlackHawk says: "Well, we had to. We have a child of our OWN to raise, lest you FORGET that important fact! Speaking of, I wonder how Sans and Papyrus are DOING with our infant daughter right now?"

 

(Gilligan Cut!) Sans is looking absolutely MISERABLE, as he is ROCKING the infant Aquila in his arms, trying to get her to fall asleep, while Papyrus is trying to multi-task with cleaning BlackHawk's new apartment building area, and making a new smoothie for Aquila. Sans says: "Oh, why do WE always get STUCK with these babysitting jobs?!"

 

Papyrus says: "Because YOU never complain, Sans! Besides, it's the closest WE'RE probably ever going to get, to experiencing the joys of raising a child ourselves!"

 

Sans sarcastically says: "Ho, ho, very funny. Ha, ha. It IS to LAUGH!!!!"

 

(PLOP!!!!) Sans shouts: "Are YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!!!"

 

(Cuts back to the Command Center) Omnus says: "In any case, D.O.G., and Coop, you ARE willing to take Scrappy-Doo in, and teach him EVERYTHING he needs to know about being a TRUE hero, aren't you?"

 

Coop says: "Of course! We WILL have to get permission from my parents first, but I'm sure they'll go for it. After all, now that BlackHawk's old room is empty, Abby could use something to keep her mind off of having empty nest syndrome, even though it's STILL going to be at LEAST five and a half years before I can even THINK about finding my OWN place!"

 

Scrappy-Doo says: "Coop, you ROCK! FireHawk, you DON'T!!!!"

 

FireHawk screams: "OH, SHUT UP!!!!"

 

Patsy seriously says: "FireHawk, DON'T make me HURT you."

 

FireHawk screams: "You and WHAT ARMY?!!!"

 

Patsy seriously says: "You don't really want me to ANSWER that one, DO you?"

 

Omnus says: "Anyways, today is OFFICIALLY Valentines Day, so Queen Beryl is BOUND to send a Youma of one kind or another, in order to gather up energy for Queen Metalia. It's not an ideal situation to think about, but heaven knows that if we DON'T stop the Youma, Queen Beryl would ONLY gather up the energy FASTER! So, the LONGER we can DELAY her process, the better shape you guys will be in. The Thunder Rangers should be fully trained by then. Speaking of, does anyone already HAVE any plans for today?"

 

Lettuce says: "As a matter of fact, I do. Pinkamena 'Pinkie' Pie, today, I am going to take you on the most ROMANTIC day of your dreams, and I have a SURPRISE planned for you later!"

Pinkie says: "I LIKE surprises! Especially the romantic kind!"

 

FireHawk mutters: "Can't wait to see what THEIR kids end up looking like!"

 

Samson says: "You WISH you had someone of your OWN to love like that!"

 

FireHawk says: "And be THAT diabetic?! Everyone has STANDARDS, Samson; I'm just telling it like it is! If you don't like it, TOO bad for you!"

 

Patsy says: "Even so, you DON'T have to be so ABRASIVE about it!"

 

Samson says: "Patsy, I think that might ACTUALLY be the first thing you've said that I've ever agreed with."

 

Patsy says: "Oh, an AGREEMENT! We're making PROGRESS!"

 

Samson says: "You're still not my type."

 

Patsy says: "YET!"

 

Samson says: "You ONLY want me because I now have MUSCLES in addition to my brains. Before BlackHawk trained me, you wouldn't have even given ME the time of DAY!"

 

Patsy says: "I did ONCE!"

 

Samson scoffs, and says: "YEAH! When you thought I was a MOVIE star named Hanly Manster that one time!"

 

Patsy says: "Which I have PROFUSELY apologized for about a MILLION times! ONE mistake, and I'M paying for it for the REST of my life!"

 

FireHawk says: "I could say the same thing about NARUTO'S parents!"

 

Naruto says: "BITE ME!!!!"

 

FireHawk says: "In your DREAMS, you FREAKY Casanova WANNABE!"

 

Naruto says: "Are you saying that I'm PERVERTED?!!!"

 

FireHawk says: "Of course not, for a guy who watches the movie Fritz the Cat every single chance he can get!"

 

Windsor says: "BURN!!!! Sorry, but you got to admit, that WAS actually pretty funny!"

 

Naruto says: "For some people and/or creatures, it WOULD be! But, seeing how we have to work together on a team, I'll let it go, for now."

 

Lettuce says: "Anyways, Pinkie and I have a schedule to maintain, and I will not have my schedule interrupted. I trust everyone else can manage without us?"

 

Queen Hedrian says: "Why do you think the Magi-Mother wanted us to find candidates who could and would use the Thunder Morphers? Specifically for this kind of scenario! And don't worry, we'll call you both ONLY as a LAST resort!"

 

Lettuce says: "Thank you, I REALLY appreciate that! Come along, Pinkie! It's time to begin our day of fun, and LOVE!"

 

Pinkie says: "I'm excited already!"

 

And the two of them warp to the local amusement park! Coop says: "It's time for us, to go, to. Come along, Scrappy-Doo, D.O.G., and I, have to introduce you to my parents."

 

Scrappy-Doo says: "Do you think your mom will LIKE me?"

 

Coop says: "If ANYONE would understand what YOU have gone through, it's my mother. But don't ask HER about it, she'll tell you when she FEELS like she can trust you WITHOUT you being judgmental about it! She's understandably STILL a little sensitive about what SHE had to go through. And quite frankly, I can't blame her."

 

Scrappy-Doo says: "Fair enough. Let's go!"

 

And Coop, Scrappy-Doo, and D.O.G., warp to Coop's mansion! BlackHawk says: "And Samson, Patsy, and I better get going as well! I've got my job at Camp Kidney to get to!"

 

FireHawk says: "You only TOOK that job because it allows you to be NAKED; like, ALL the TIME!!!!"

 

BlackHawk says: "It's not like we DO anything PERVERTED there, it's not ALLOWED! Camp Kidney is STRICTLY only for those who are MATURE enough, and LAWFUL enough, to handle the PRIVILEDGE of going there! Camp Kidney takes any and ALL allegations of misconduct VERY seriously, and will hook up ANYONE to a Lie Detector test. And if ANYBODY is FOUND lying about ANYTHING regarding an allegation, OR did anything immoral or illegal, they're BANNED from Camp Kidney, and Camp Kidney will SEND the ban status to any and ALL Nudist Resorts on Core Earth! In other words, we wouldn't want YOU to be there, even if YOU wanted to be there!"

 

FireHawk says: "Lucky for YOU, even if I could and/or WANTED to go there, I wouldn't! I'm not a big fan of sausages and bananas, IF you know what I mean!"

 

Naruto claps sarcastically, and says: "Congratulations, you just reached the maturity level of a third grader!"

 

FireHawk says: "You WISH you were as interesting as I am! Of course, you'd probably wish you could make it WITH Usagi, and DON'T try to DENY it! If she WASN'T with Krash'ir AND a Lesbian, you'd be ALL over her!"

 

Naruto says: "I hope you don't expect ME to dignify that with an actual response!"

 

BlackHawk says: "Remind me, StarHawk, WHY do you put up with HER again, and DON'T say it's because she's your sister, AGAIN!"

 

StarHawk says: "Come on! It's not like I WAS going to say that--well, actually, it WAS pretty MUCH THAT!"

 

Windsor says: "It's times like this that make me GLAD I'm an ONLY child! No offense, Queen Hedrian."

 

Queen Hedrian says: "No, I'd agree with YOU if I could! I could be the Magi-Mother if I had to! STUPID older sister, always has to be better than ME at EVERYTHING, that grumble, grumble."

 

BlackHawk says: "Anyways, I would LOVE to stay and hear some MORE colorful insults from FireHawk, is what I WOULD say, if that were even REMOTELY the truth! But, duty calls! Come Samson and Patsy!"

 

And they warp to Camp Kidney! Alpha Eight sighs, and says: "Well, don't the REST of you have places to be?"

 

Usagi says: "Yes, Krash'ir and I have to get back to Sally Anne! Toriel is expecting us! Come along, Krash'ir!"

 

Krash'ir says: "Yes, my darling!"

 

And they warp back home! StarHawk says: "And I need to warp back home as well, Sans and Papyrus should be EXHAUSTED by now!"

 

And StarHawk warps back home as well! FireHawk says: "Too bad YOU don't have a home to warp back to, Naruto! And even IF you did, I wouldn't CARE!"

 

Naruto says: "You know, I wish that for ONCE, you'd actually CARE to learn SOMETHING about me!"

 

FireHawk says: "I WOULD if you ever actually DID anything INTERESTING besides those STUPID Youtube POOP videos. But, you haven't, so I won't! Later, loser!"

 

And FireHawk warps away! Naruto groans, and yells: "OMNUS!!!! Set the Simulation Planet for Level ELEVEN!!!!"

 

Alpha Eight says: "But all the way to ELEVEN has RADIGUET on it! Don't you think--."

 

Naruto screams: "NOW!!!!"

 

Alpha Eight says: "All right! Sheesh! What a GROUCH!" /

 

Naruto finds himself in a desolate and ruined Coastal Falls, resembling something more out of "Mad Max" or "Escape from New York" than it does the city he calls his home. The sky is dark with streaks of color: red, green, purple...yet also grey. All around him, Naruto sees countless dead, but what shocks him the most are the bodies of his fellow Rangers, their helmets dusty and cracked. In the distance, he can see...something: Radiguet. But it doesn't even resemble Radiguet anymore, now he resembles something out of HP Lovecraft's worst nightmare - a many tentacled beast with six faces; those of the Chaos Gods, as well as the Renegade God Malal (also called Malice, or "Misery" by Radiguet) and Radiguet's own in the very center. Naruto observes that the Chaos Gods' powers were too much for Radiguet to handle, so they consumed his soul, and then they were in turn consumed by Malal, becoming a singular horrifying Chaos Spawn. Its only desire was hunger. And it would feed on everyone still remaining in Coastal Falls and Core Earth-no, the entire multiverse-if not stopped. With determination in his soul, Naruto morphs into his Ranger form before summoning his Power Weapon and charging at the Chaos Radiguet. He doesn't get too far before being stopped by..another Ranger? This one is in gold and white armor, its body shape informing Naruto just who this Last Ranger is: BlackHawk. Instead of being happy at the sight of the Simulation BlackHawk, Naruto is BEYOND ANGRY! "What do you want, BlackHawk!?"

 

 The Simulation BlackHawk removes his helmet; he's scarred on his cheeks, and he's missing an eye. The Simulation BlackHawk says: "I'm TRYING to SAVE YOUR LIFE, THAT'S WHAT!" Lowering his voice, he says: "I'm glad to see you're alive, Naruto. Now stay close to me, and we won't die as quickly."

 

 Naruto whispers back: "You're really expecting to kill that...THING all by yourself?"

 

 The Simulation BlackHawk rolls his eyes: "Is this REALLY the time to keep holding your grudge against me? Anyways, I'm not expecting to kill off Radiguet all by myself. I only want to hold him off as long as I can before he devours all of existence. The both of us are likely to die trying, but if we do, he'll just have the Crimson King to deal with once the entire physical multiverse is eaten." Both of them feel uneasy at the mention of the King, and shudder.

 

 Naruto says: "Now that's a battle I don't want to think about!"

 

 The Simulation BlackHawk says: "Good. Now get ready!" And the both of them arm themselves; Naruto with the Fire Blade, and BlackHawk with Saba. They charge forth, slaughtering through hordes of less powerful (when compared to Radiguet) Chaos Spawn, and when they're done, they are at the foot of Radiguet, the now-mindless Emperor not even noticing them. The Simulation BlackHawk turns to Naruto and salutes. He says: "It's been an honor Naruto." And with that, he begins muttering the Gunslinger's Creed: "I do not aim with my hand. He who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father. I aim with my eye. I do not shoot with my hand. He who shoots with his hand has forgotten the face of his father. I shoot with my mind. I do not kill with my gun. He who kills with his gun has forgotten the face of his father. I kill with my heart." But just as BlackHawk is about to strike Radiguet, Naruto remembers his anger, and it overcomes him. He snaps the Simulation BlackHawk's neck, killing him instantly. From above him, Naruto hears Omnus.

 

Omnus says: "Alpha, turn off the simulation. I think we have seen enough." Naruto falls onto the floor, grunting and almost grinding his teeth in rage. Omnus looks at him, disappointed .

 

Omnus says: "I expected better of you, Naruto."

 

 Naruto says, through gritted teeth: "Of course you do. I'm a Ranger."

 

 Omnus, sternly, replies: "Not anymore you're not." Naruto, deep down, understands why, but he still acts shocked.

 

Naruto says: "WHAT!? YOU CAN'T! BEING A RANGER IS MY EVERYTHING!"

 

 "And that," Omnus says, "is where your problem lies. You are so concerned about being a Power Ranger and nothing else, you are blind to your own arrogance and ego. There is nothing wrong with being proud, but when it consumes you and turns into hubris, then it becomes a problem." Omnus turns to Naruto with his hand out. Realizing there is no winning this, Naruto hands his morpher in. "Until you are once again proven worthy of the power of the Morphing Grid, you can no longer be allowed into the Command Center. I am sorry, Naruto." Without saying a word, Naruto leaves.

 

Windsor, watching him leave, observes: "I wish I could give him my usual pearls of wisdom, like I have to my friends in middle school. But part of growing up means you have to figure things out on your own. Life won't always give you easy answers."

 

 Alpha nods and agrees. "Far too true." /

 

Meanwhile, in Queen Beryl's fortress, there are only three people within it: herself, Ahzek Ahriman, and the youma Abbaddon. Queen Beryl has decided that Kunzite and Zoisite, being lovers themselves, deserve a day to themselves; so they've both treated themselves to a movie, lunch at Bucca di Beppo, and some self-care at a spa. Abbaddon, having nothing better to do, is outside Beryl's throne room, standing guard. So that leaves only Beryl and Ahzek. And yet, Beryl is watching all the happy lovers in Coastal Falls spend a happy Valentine's Day together, feeling QUITE unhappy herself!

 

Beryl says: "I HATE VALENTINE'S DAY! I HATE HOW HAPPY EVERYONE IS! EVERYONE EXCEPT FOR ME!"

 

 Letting out a sigh, Ahzek puts down his spellbook, and looks at Beryl. Ahzek says: "Do you really mean this, my queen? Because I think there's something more to this. You don't seem much like the 'petty evil' type like all the other villains the Rangers have faced."

 

 Beryl looks at Ahzek and with a sigh, she says: "You don't know much about me, do you?"

 

 Ahzek says: "In spite of all the passionate lovemaking we have done? I have to admit I don't."

 

Beryl rolls her eyes and says: "I sold my soul to Metalia because I was scorned by Prince Endymion thousands of years ago. Then Sailor Moon defeated me the first time. And now that I have found that I too am romantically attracted to her, I just can't help but be jealous of her marriage to that Bloodthirster Kra'shir."

 

 Ahzek nods in understanding, and he says: "Ah. You're envious, aren't you?"

 

 Beryl nods, and she says: "If I cannot be happy with Usagi, then she nor anyone else can be today. Ahzek, I wish to create a youma. One that'll not only absorb love energy, but cast binding romance spells on whoever it chooses, so more energy can be absorbed!"

 

 Ahzek sighs, and he gets his materials ready, muttering: "I don't get paid enough for this."

 

 Beryl snaps back, her tone calm yet with a hint of venom: "I don't pay you at all." /

 

 Meanwhile at Bucca di Beppo, Kunzite and Zoisite are enjoying lunch before they go see the movie. Kunzite is eating spaghetti and meatballs, and Zoisite is eating two calzones. Suddenly, Zoisite tenses up, his eyes having a thousand yard stare. He says: "Kunzite, I sense a disturbance in the Force."

 

 Kunzite, about to stuff a rather large meatball into his mouth, stops and asks his boyfriend worriedly: "What is it, Kunzite? Is something wrong? Does Queen Beryl need our help?"

 

 Zoisite says: "No, no. I feel that she's probably doing something risky and is gonna regret it later."

 

 Kunzite nods and says: "I'm sure she's well-aware of what she's doing. Besides, Beryl gave us the day off. She can handle it on her own for once." Before either can say anymore, the two hear a shout of "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" from a nearby table. Kunzite puts his head in his hands and mutters: "Oh, COME ON! ANOTHER birthday!? How many times have we had to hear that stupid birthday song now!?"

 

 Zoisite counts on his fingers: "One...two...three...Eight times!"

 

 Kunzite responds by slamming his face into his spaghetti and screaming, although it's muffled and given an almost gurgling effect by the marinara sauce! /

 

Back in Coastal Falls, Naruto is walking around downtown, dejected yet trying to at least see something positive in all this. As he muses on his current situation, Naruto, like Beryl, sees all the other happy couples in Coastal Falls; they aren't exactly helping his mood. Who should he see next, then, but Toby and Ebony? Toby's currently riding his bike slowly and carefully, with a tipsy Ebony behind him and holding on around his waist. Toby is saying to Ebony: "How many times have we had this conversation, Ebony? Pace yourself when you're drinking! That's why they say 'drink responsibly'!"

 

 Ebony, who can't seem to hold her liquor well, seems on the verge of crying and is obviously suffering from a headache. Ebony says: "I know, I'm sorry. It's just...when you're in a lounge bar, sooner or later, you're gonna have more than a few shots of Jack Daniels!'

 

Toby retorts: "Then why not...oh, nevermind! Let's just get you home and into bed. I'll have Magenta brew you some coffee to get rid of that hangover." That's when the two see Naruto, and Toby shouts: "Hey! What's wrong?"

 

Naruto looks at Toby and says bitterly: "What do you care? I'm just some nobody. You have a girlfriend, and a home you need to get back to. Just leave me to wallow in my own pity."

 

 Toby looks concerned, and he stops the bike, parking it and getting off, holding an unsteady Ebony's hand. Toby says: "Look, I don't know who you are, or what's going on in your personal life right now. All I care about is helping someone in need." Toby extends his free hand, shaking Naruto's. "Toby Jones. Nice to meet you."

 

 Naruto shakes Toby's hand and says: "Naruto Uzumaki. Nice to meet you."

 

 Toby says: "So, what's bugging ya?"

 

 Naruto sighs, and thinks to himself: "Well, I guess I don't have a choice." And Naruto comes clean about being a Power Ranger, about being nearly-homeless, and about his relationship troubles. Toby can barely contain his excitement, but he keeps himself composed.

 

Toby says: "Wow, that's...that's tough. If you want, you can crash at mine and Ebony's place until you get back on your feet."

 

 Ebony interrupts; in spite of her inebriated state, she's still aware enough of her surroundings to point out something important in Toby's idea: "Maybe we ought to bring it up to Frank. He might not like the idea of some stranger taking up space. We already have 11 people in the house as it is."

 

 Toby considers it, and says: "Eh, I'm sure he won't mind. After all, the more the merrier!"

 

 Naruto asks, perplexed: "11 people? What, do you guys live in some kind of boarding house?"

 

 Toby replies: "More like a hippie commune...sorta. Come on, we'll show you. You're gonna love this place!" He and Ebony get back onto the bike, with Naruto following them. Soon, the three arrive at a rather large and spooky castle on the edge of Coastal Falls, sitting atop the mountains overlooking the floating island and complete with (somehow) a perpetual rainstorm. Toby gets off the bike and slowly approaches the door, knocking three times. The door slowly opens up to reveal a hunchbacked man with long, stringy platinum blonde hair, wearing a black cloak. says

 

He stares at Toby and Ebony and says: "You're back later than expected. Not by much, but you know the master expects punctuality."

 

 Toby sighs, and says: "I know, and I'm sorry, Riff Raff." Naruto tries to hold back his laughter, and both Toby and Riff Raff glare at him. Toby turns back to the hunchbacked man and says: " Actually, I was hoping to talk to Frank about something. " He gestures to Naruto. 

 

Riff Raff nods and says: "Come on in." He says to Naruto: " Make yourself comfortable, please. I must inform the master of your...unexpected arrival." 

 

Toby watches him leave, and looks around the castle entrance. Naruto can see it's fairly normal: a standard set of stairs, a chandelier overhead, and a velvet carpet covering everything. A pale woman, dressed in a French maid outfit with long, frizzy red hair, slides down the banister, cackling insanely. Toby says: "There you are, Magenta. Ebony's not feeling too good."

 

 Magenta rolls her eyes, and in a thick Transylvanian accent, asks: "Hangover again?"

 

 Toby nods and says: "Yup. Can you please get her something to drink for it? Maybe put her in bed so she can sleep it off?"

 

 Magenta nods and turns to Naruto: "Very well. Would you like something to drink while you wait for the master?"

 

 Naruto nods and says: "Surprise me." Magenta turns away and, dragging Ebony by the arm and scolding her like a mother or older sister would, takes a nearby elevator upwards. Naruto raises a brow, and mutters: "Wow. This feels like I tumbled down the rabbit hole into Wonderland." 

 

Toby looks at him as Magenta comes back with Naruto's drink. As Naruto slowly drinks his tea spiked with a bit of Irish coffee, Toby says: "You ain't seen nothing yet. Just wait till you meet the others." Before Naruto can say another word, he sees the nearby elevator slowly descend, and out steps a man wearing a sparkly leotard, pearl necklace, and fishnet stockings with high heels. He has his dark hair in a perm, and is wearing makeup; Naruto doesn't even react to the sight of him, but he does think he looks rather handsome, even if Naruto isn't 'into' men, he won't deny such an obvious fact.

 

Naruto says: "You must be Frank, the master."

 

 Frank, who speaks with a rather pronounced English accent, nods. Frank says: "Indeed I am." He looks Naruto over and grins. "Hello, handsome." 

 

Naruto grins back, and replies: "I could say the same thing." This only makes Frank's grin (and already large ego) grow wider.

 

Frank says: "Oh, I like YOU already! Tell me, what is your name?"

 

 Naruto says: "Naruto Uzumaki."

 

 Frank licks his lips a bit, as if savoring Naruto's words. "Naruto...a strong name for a strong young man! I am Dr. Frank N. Furter." Naruto tries not to laugh again, but Toby attempts to silence him before he can. Frank rolls his eyes and says: "Oh, come now, Toby. Let him have a laugh at my expense. You did when you and that girlfriend of yours first met me." 

 

Toby, knowing Frank is right, nods. Toby says: "Sorry."

 

 Naruto goes on to explain his situation, and when he's done, Frank says: "Such a shame you had to go through that. I'll tell you what - you are allowed to stay here, but you must live under my rules."

 

 Naruto nods in gratitude: "Thank you, Frank. I promise you that I'll try and be a good guest."

 

 Frank nods back, and replies: "I hope so." Frank gets up and leaves, but before he does, he turns to Naruto and smirks. Frank says: "And by the way, call me Frankie if you'd like." Frank blows a kiss to Naruto before going down the elevator again. 

 

Naruto stares, before turning to Toby, and asks: "Does he flirt with everyone?"

 

 Toby shrugs and says: "Pretty much, yeah."

 

 Naruto asks: "Doesn't it get uncomfortable sometimes?"

 

 Toby mulls it over for a minute and says: "Frank can come off too STRONG a lot of the time, but uncomfortable? Not really."

 

 Naruto decides to not push the question further, and asks: "So, wanna show me around?" 

 

 Toby says: "Sure." And so Toby begins his own personal tour of the castle. /

 

Back in Coastal Falls proper, everyone is still enjoying their day. At the amusement park, Kras'hir and Usagi have just gotten themselves some cotton candy, while Lettuce and Pinkie are currently getting off of a roller coaster. Lettuce, a bit dizzy but otherwise fine, says: "You know, it's been a really fun day, but you know what'd make it better?"

 

 Hopefully, Pinkie asks: "What's that?" 

 

And Lettuce slowly pulls out the engagement ring, and he begins: "Pinkie Pie, will you-" but before Lettuce can finish, he sees what looks like a massive, bright pink female ladybug, along with several smaller youma surrounding it. "-get down!" And Lettuce drags Pinkie to a spot where they can't easily be seen by Love Bug. Pulling out his communicator, Lettuce says: "Omnus, one of Queen Beryl's youma is at the amusement park! What do we do?"

 

From the other end, Omnus says: "Do not worry. The Thunder Rangers should be able to handle this, but I advise you and the others to be on standby just in case."

 

 Lettuce nods, and watches Love Bug closely as it begins attacking the parkgoers, firing love beams every which way, causing various pairings, whether they be straight, gay, or bisexual to start making out (and in some cases, to forgo even that and just start going each other like animals). Usagi nearly avoids getting hit by a beam as Kras'hir gets her to cover.

 

Kras'hir pulls out her sword, and says, "I'll distract it while I wait for the other Thunder Rangers! Just stay down, all of you!" And Kras'hir charges at Love Bug, screaming: "LORD KHORNE WILL HAVE YOUR SKULL, YOUMA!" 

 

 Meanwhile, the other Thunder Rangers get the signal from Omnus. Samson turns to Patsy and says: "You know the drill!"

 

 Patsy says: "Right! It's Morphing Time! Pink Phoenix Thunderzord power!"

 

 Samson says: "Red Dragon Thunderzord power!"

 

 In the Littles' mansion, Coop and D.O.G. are showing Scrappy how to hold a bo staff. Coop says: "OK, holding a bo staff, while simple, requires at least a bit of practice."

 

 D.O.G. nods, and says: "Yeah, like this." And he bops Coop on the head, causing him to fall backwards! D.O.G. says: "Whoops, sorry!"

 

 Coop gets up, and says: "It's OK." But before their lesson can continue, Coop and D.O.G.'s communicators go off! (Beep beep ba ba beep beep!) Coop says: "Kras'hir, what's up?"

 

And between her grunts and screaming rather colorful swears and praises to Khorne, Kras'hir says: "No time! Amusement park, now!"

 

 Coop says: "Duty calls! Scrappy, practice hitting this bean bag chair with the bo staff while we're gone!"

 

 Scrappy says: "Got it!" And he turns to the bean bag chair and challenges it like a real opponent: "Let me at him, let me at him! I'll get you with-da da da da da duuum!-PUPPY POWER!"

 

 Coop shakes his head, and says to D.O.G: "It's Morphing Time! Green Lion Thunderzord Power!"

 

 D.O.G. says: "Yellow Kirin Thunderzord Power!" And the two teleport to the amusement park! 

 

Back at the amusement park, Kras'hir is still fighting Love Bug on her own, unmorphed, when the other Thunder Rangers arrive! Love Bug laughs and says: "Oh, how cute! You have some friends. But no matter! You will not stand in my way!"

 

 Kras'hir gets out her morpher and says: Oh yeah? Blue Pegasus Thunderzord power!" And she morphs into her Ranger form!

 

Together, the Thunder Rangers ssy: "We are the Mighty Morphin' Thunder Rangers!" Cue explosion! And so the fight begins as a hit song by Joan Armatrading begins! Joan Amatrading sings: "It may rain tomorrow, but tonight is all that's on my mind. My baby is here, in my arms; you know we've got it bad. Cause tonight we've got the love virus. We've both come down with the love bug, and it means we've got to stay in bed. I hope yous guys don't catch this, cause it knocks you right off a your legs. Love bug, talking bout love bug. I said love bug. You know I mean love bug. Let me explain the symptoms. First of all, there's hardly any pain. With the love bug, you kind of lose your memory. You see, hear, think, talk, dream, care, just for one person, only. Don't come down with the love bug, cause it drives the sense right out of your head. This thing strikes in a curious way. It only hits when you're not looking. (Instrumental section) Don't stand close to anybody who'll contaminate you. If you come down with the virus, well you'll never be alone again. Don't come down with the virus. We've both come down with the love bug, and it means we've got to stay in bed. I hope yous guys don't catch this, cause it knocks you right off a your legs. Love bug, talking bout love bug. I said love bug; you know I mean love bug. I said love bug, talking bout love bug. Yeah, love bug. You know I mean love bug. Yeah, love bug. Talking bout love bug. Yeah, love bug." And the epic song ends as Love Bug ends up incapacitating the Thunder Rangers!

 

Standing over them, Love Bug says: "And now that I have defeated you, I have you right where I want you!" And she fires a love beam at Samson and Patsy, who immediately demorph!

 

 Patsy says: "Samson, I never knew how handsome you were! And those muscles...mmmmm! So sexy!"

 

 And Samson looks into Patsy's eyes, and he says: "Patsy, excuse me for saying this, but I like your hips and thighs! And your chest too!" Patsy blushes and pulls Samson into a passionate French kiss! 

 

 Love Bug turns to Kras'hir, Coop, and D.O.G. and says: "Now, as for you three...I always DID have a fondness for triads!" And as she fires a love beam at the three of them, Kras'hir grabs the stand where Pinkie and Lettuce are hiring behind, and throws it at Love Bug, knocking the monster backwards, and the love beam onto Lettuce!

 

 Lettuce blinks and says: "...I don't feel any different. Lame!" He then notices a tamale cart and says: "I AM really hungry, though!" And he proceeds to devour all the tamales, husks included, as well as the cart! Lettuce lies down and says: "Man, that hit the spot!"

 

 Kras'hir grabs Usagi and Pinkie by the waists, and teleports to the Command Center. Kras'hir says: "Omnus, we have a...bit of a problem."

 

Alpha says: "I'll say! I mean, I've heard of free love, but this is going too far!"

 

 Kras'hir gets her communicator and says: "Coop, D.O.G.! Get Lettuce out of there, and get the others!"

 

 Both say: "On it!"

 

 Omnus sighs, and says: "This is a rather inopportune time for this, but Naruto is no longer the Red Ranger."

 

 Usagi, Pinkie, and Kras'hir all say in unison: "WHAT!?" /

 

 As all this is going on, Naruto is getting a tour of Frank N. Furter's castle by Toby; currently, he is being shown the parlor, where Sibella Dracula and Winnie Werewolf are on the couch watching TV. Both of them are significantly older than when they were last seen at Grimwood's, now being about 18 or 19. Sibella still looks the same as ever, if a tad bit curvier and wearing a sensual, slitted dress. Sibella says: "Oh, hello." Naruto can't help but find her accent attractive. Winnie, who is now wearing a plaid flannel T-shirt and ripped jeans, having outgrown bows and dresses, waves.

 

Winnie says, casually: "Hey. You the new guy?"

 

 Naruto says: "Yep! Nice to meet you both!" He walks over, and like the charmer he is, he kisses Sibella's hand. 

 

Sibella giggles, and says: "It's so nice to meet you as well. It'll be fangtastic having you around!"

 

 Naruto blinks and asks: "D-do you make puns like that all the time?"

 

 Winnie rolls her eyes and says: "Trust me, you ain't seen nothing yet. We both make tear-able, tear-able monster puns." Naruto groans, but he can't help but laugh a bit himself. Toby then shows Naruto the library, where Lydia Deetz is busy reading the complete works of Edgar Allan Poe to herself. 

 

Lydia looks up from the book and says: "Hey, Toby. Who's this?"

 

 Toby says: "This is Naruto. I think you'll like him." Toby turns to Naruto, and says: " Naruto, this is Lydia. She's really cool."

 

Naruto says: "Hey." He sits next to Lydia and peers over her shoulder and asks, "Edgar Allan Poe? Neat!"

 

Lydia giggles a bit, and replies: "Yeah, he is! I love creepy stuff."

 

 Toby mutters: "Every day is practically Halloween around here."

 

 Lydia rolls her eyes and says: "No duh! That's why I love living here!" She turns to Naruto and says: "Hey, you wanna meet someone who's REALLY cool, though?" Naruto nods, and Lydia calls out three times, "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" And as thunder crackles in the room, and the library momentarily fills with fog, who should appear but the Ghost With the Most himself?

 

Beetlejuice hugs Lydia, and says, "Hey, Lyds! What crazy stuff we got planned for today? Putting spiders in Frank's wine? Maybe going inside these books and wrecking their stories?"

 

 Lydia giggles and says, "No, Beej. I just wanted to introduce you to my new friend. This is Naruto."

 

 Beetlejuice grins, and he says, "Hey there, new bud!" Beetlejuice then takes out a business card, reading Beetlejuice: The Ghost With the Most. BIO-EXORCIST - Guaranteed to cleanse the living from your home, just say it once, say it twice, say it thrice, or your money back (possibly).

 

Naruto blinks, and asks, "Bio-exorcist, huh? How's that going for you?"

 

 Beetlejuice shrugs, and says, "It's a living. Anyways, I only got one rule if you wanna be my pal - Don't . HURT. LYDIA. " And Beetlejuice punctuates each word as he slowly transforms into a hybrid of himself and a sandworm. In a deep, warped voice, Beetlejuice screams, "GOT IT!?" And as he says this, a wall of fire appears, and Naruto can hear the screams of the damned being tortured. 

 

Naruto, absolutely terrified, nods and meekly says, "Wouldn't dream of it anyway."

 

 Beetlejuice turns back to normal, and cheerfully says, "Good. Now if you'll excuse me, my soap opera's on. Rick's evil twin Rick is marrying their sister, but neither of them know it!" With a loud, cackling laugh, Beetlejuice disappears!

 

 Lydia leans in and whispers, "He's always like that. You'll get used to it."

 

 Naruto replies, "Noted."

 

 Toby says, "Come on, we only have the pool and ballroom left to see. Bye, Lydia! Talk to you later!"

 

 Lydia, having gone back to reading, waves goodbye as Toby, Ebony, and Naruto leave the library. And so, the two move on to the pool - the room is large and spacious, with a large pool taking up the majority of it. And in the middle, resting on a pool chair and reading Anton LaVey’s “The Satanic Bible”, is Wednesday Addams, now 18 years old; she wears nothing but a black bikini, her hair now long and flowing to her mid-back, and sunglasses. She stares at Toby, Naruto, and Ebony for a bit before going back to reading.

 

Naruto asks, “Not the friendly or outgoing type, huh?”

 

Ebony answers, “Nope.”

 

Naruto shrugs, and asks, “Wanna go for a swim?”

 

Wednesday answers from her pool chair, “Come anywhere near me, and you will suffer!”

 

Naruto, visibly cringing, mutters, “That’s a no, then…” And so, they moved onto the ballroom, where they see three people: Rocky Horror, a buff blonde and tanned creation of Frank, his ‘sister’ Roxy Horror (who resembles Carolyn Jones), and Frank’s ‘groupie’ Columbia. Columbia is listening to some jazz on the jukebox, before she stops and turns to the group.

 

Columbia says, her voice having a thick Brooklyn accent, “Hi there! You must be the new guy! Frankie told me to keep an eye out for ya!” Naruto walks over to Columbia, and before he can shake her hand, she suddenly pulls him into a quick yet passionate kiss; Naruto is left stunned, and Columbia smirks. Columbia says, “Just to give you a taste of what to expect!”

 

Before Naruto can introduce himself to Rocky and Roxy, however, Coop and D.O.G. burst in! Coop says: “Naruto, you need to come with us! The city’s in trouble!”

 

Naruto scowls and says, “Why should I care? I’m not even a Power Ranger anymore!” He gestures to Columbia and says, “I have new, better friends and a home now! So you can just shove it, the both of you!”

 

D.O.G. puts a hand on Naruto’s shoulder and says, “Is that what this is about? Are you so blinded by arrogance that you’re so willing to abandon your teammates, your family, just so you can spend your days partaking in mindless pleasure?” He turns to Columbia. “No offense.”

 

Columbia shrugs. “Eh. None taken.”

 

Naruto stares at D.O.G., at a loss for words as he realizes just what an IDIOT he’s been. Almost crying, Naruto clenches his fist and says, “....I’m sorry. I was so concerned with my own wants…”

 

D.O.G. smiles and says, “You’re forgiven. Now come on, we need to stop Love Bug!” With that, Naruto, D.O.G., and Coop teleport away! 

 

Rocky Horror blinks and says, “Tell me you all saw that.”

 

Roxy nods and says, “Yup.”

 

Columbia says, “Uh huh.”

 

Toby says, “Capiche.”

 

Ebony says, “Can confirm.”

 

-------------------------------------

 

Naruto meets up with the other Rangers at the amusement park, where Love Bug continues to terrorize! Love Bug turns to the Rangers and says, “Ooh, more cute couples for me to play with!” And she fires a beam at Naruto and Usagi. Thankfully, the two of them manage to dodge the love beam just in time!

 

Naruto turns to Usagi and says, “That was close! Ready to squash this bug?”

 

Usagi says, “You know it!” 

 

And the Rangers retrieve their morphers and say in unison: “It’s Morphin’ Time!”

 

Naruto says: “Red Mars Leo power!”

 

Lettuce, in the middle of raiding a now-abandoned hot dog cart, stops and turns. Hia mouth now full of hot dogs, Lettuce says: “Green Sagittarius Jupiter Power!”

 

Pinkie says, “Pink Taurus Jupiter Power!”

 

Starhawk says, “Blue Pisces Mercury Power!”

 

Firehawk says, “Black Capricorn Saturn Power!”

 

And Usagi finishes with! “Sailor Moon! Cosmic Power!” 

 

And the Rangers pose and shout in unison, “Power Rangers Multiverse Force!”

 

Love Bug scoffs and says, “Oh, how cute. More Rangers. Well, I’ll show you what I did to that last bunch!” And she summons several smaller youma to attack! The Rangers all charge forth, stronger than ever, as a hit song by Joan Jett plays! Joan Jett sings: “Midnight gettin' uptight, Where are you? You said you'd meet me, now it's quarter to two.I know I'm hangin' but I'm still wantin' you. Hey Jack, It's a fact they're talkin' in town.

I turn my back and you're messin' around. I'm not really jealous, don't like lookin' like a clown. I think of you every night and day. You took my heart and you took my pride away. I hate myself for loving you. Can't break free from the things that you do. I wanna walk but I run back to you. That's why I hate myself for loving you. Daylight spent the night without you. But I've been dreamin' 'bout the lovin' you do, I won't be as angry 'bout the hell you put me through. Hey Man, betcha you can treat me right. You just don't know what you was missin' last night. I wanna see your face and say forget it just for spite.I think of you every night and day. You took my heart and you took my pride away. I hate myself for loving you. Can't break free from the, the things that you do. I wanna walk but I run back to you. That's why I hate myself for loving you. I think of you every night and day. You took my heart and you took my pride awayI hate myself for loving you. Can't break free from the things that you do.I wanna walk but I run back to you. That's why I hate myself for loving you. I hate myself for loving you. Can't break free from the the things that you do. I wanna walk but I run back to you. That's why I hate myself for loving you. I hate myself, For loving you. I hate myself, For loving you. I hate myself. For loving you. I hate myself, I hate myself for loving you. I hate myself for loving you…” And the epic song ends as the Rangers defeat the minion youma! Now that the smaller ones have been dealt with, the Rangers turn to Love Bug!

Naruto says: “Now you have nothing, Love Bug! So stand down!”

Love Bug says: “Oh, and YOU five have something?”

Naruto nods and says: “FIRE BLADE!”

Starhawk says: “CHAIN AXE!”

Lettuce says: “THUNDER HAMMER!”

Pinkie says: “LASER PISTOL!”

Firehawk says: “SHADOW DAGGERS!”

Usagi finishes with: “EMPEROR’S BLADE!”

And all six Rangers combine their weapons, and say in unison, say: “POWER BLASTER CANNON!” before firing at Love Bug, who explodes!

Meanwhile, back in Queen Beryl’s fortress, Queen Beryl grumbles and says, “No matter. We have more than enough energy for our quota.”

Kunziite offers her some leftovers from his and Zoisite’s date, and Queen Beryl begins eating ravenously, as if she were drowning her sorrows in alcohol.

Back in the Juice Bar, all the Rangers, Multiverse Force and Thunder, are sitting around the table with drinks. Sampson says: “Well, I’m glad that’s over. I did enjoy making out with Patsy, admittedly.” And Patsy slaps Sampson, who rubs his cheek. Sampson says: “Sorry.”

Patsy says: “It’s fine.”

Naruto turns to Firehawk, and says: “Look, Firehawk….” before Firehawk shushes him with a sudden and passionate kiss! After several minutes, Firehawk breaks it and grins.

Firehawk, in a low seductive voice, says: “All is forgiven….lover boy.”

Coop fake-gags and says: “Get a ROOM, you two!”

Naruto chuckles and says: “Oh, don’t worry, Coop. We’ll have an entire CASTLE to get freaky in now!”

Lettuce interrupts, and says: “Sorry to interrupt, you three, but I have an important question for one future Mrs. Retthi Manchot…” and he pulls out the necklace he had proposed to Pinkie with almost a year before and says, “Pinkie….will you marry me again?”

And Pinkie practically crushes Lettuce in a hug and kisses him repeatedly while saying: “Yes! Yes, Destiny!” And the episode ends with all the Rangers laughing! /

 

[4EverGreen]

It's time for another re-run of "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back", (and barring anyone ELSE running any re-runs), it might be the last re-run you see for a while. Enjoy! / Instead of the normal show opening, poppy music plays, and C.G.I. word titles of "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back: Performance Review", float down into view, and a montage of clips from the previous episodes of the season, begin to be shown on-screen. / Bessie Higgenbottom jumps off the boat first, and she says: “Wow! This is so cool, riding on a boat! Did you know my great-great-great grandfather actually built a boat?! Old Ironsides, they called her! It fought in the Civil War, against the--!” / Brittany says: “Free food?! Theodore, you just ATE!” Blonda says: “According to MY sources, he always just ate!” / Tigress can be heard groaning loudly, and she says: “UGH!!!! That was SO pathetic! Out of the way, let a TRUE champion show you how it's done!” Tigress kicks down the door of the boat room she was staying in, does several forward jump flips on the boat, leaps OFF the boat, and rolls forward on the ground, before springing forward, to land perfectly on her two feet! Tigress says: “I am Master Tigress! The one, the only, the world-renowned, the exceptionally trained, and incredibly epic Kung Fu Master, who has ever trained on ALL seven continents! If you're already unnerved by me now, you're free to save yourself the trouble, and go home right now! I don't tolerate losers, getting in my path of winning! THAT'S how you make a proper introduction!” / Kowalski says: “Uh, I hate to be predictable, and complain about logic on the first day, but, cactus isn't NATIVE to environment of Lake Michigan, and the nearest desert is over a 1,000 miles away.” Blonda says: “I have a magic wand, your argument is invalid.” / Johnny Krill asks: “Just step forward?! I'm Johnny Krill, man! I NEVER just step forward!” Tigress rolls her eyes, and says: “Just what I needed; Twister 2.0!” / Fee says: “You could always swim in the NUDE, like my brother Foo does!” Bubble Bass gives Fee a shocked look, and he says: “First off, T.M.I., too much information! And second and most importantly, YOU disgust me!” / Bubble Bass says: “At first, I thought there was no WAY I could take a public shower with some other guys, but then Blonda and her team of producers LEGALLY FORCED me to do it!” / Johnny Krill says: “You know, now that I THINK about it, I think Bubble Bass has nice...FINS!!!!” (DOING!!!!) / Tigress says: “It's OBVIOUS that I'm the FULL package; beauty, brains, brawn, and skills, all in ONE body!” / Fee sarcastically says: “Woo, woo, woo. Extra woo, woo, woo. Can we get ON with the show already?!” / Sniz says: “Note to self: NEVER ask Katarra HOW she is able to do the things she can do EVER again! You will ALWAYS get a SNOTTY response from her!” /

Bubble Bass scoffs, and says: “Oh, PLEASE!!!! If Spongebob REALLY annoyed you as much as you CLAIM that he does, you'd simply RESIGN from the Krusty Krab, and move away from Bikini Bottom for GOOD! But there's no WAY you'll do that, because you're just COUNTING the days until Mr. Krabs is lying SICK on his DEATH BED, and he beckons for you and whispers in a soft, creaking, croaking voice, as he confesses to you that Spongebob Squarepants, is FAR too incompetent and stupid to run the Krusty Krab! And that you, the LONG suffering Squidward Tentacles, is the ONLY employee capable of running the Krusty Krab, and you will weep tears of sadness, sorrow, and despair, as it finally DAWNS on you that the HORRIBLE, SWEATY place YOU call the Krusty Krab, is the ONLY place where you will EVER truly know, feel, AND experience LOVE!” Squidward's eyes open up wide, and in a dissonant calmness, he says: “Excuse me.” And he walks off-screen, goes to the cafeteria, and in a loud voice, cries: “AHHH!!!!!” Bubble Bass suddenly jerks and in futility, covers his mouth, and says: “Dear Neptune! Was I just TALKING out loud, THERE?!!!” / Sniz says: “Well, folks. It seems as though we're experiencing some technical difficul--.” (BOOM!!!!) / Tigress says: “Be a sumo wrestler!” Bubble Bass says: “What makes you think that I know HOW to be a Sumo wrestler?!” Tigress says: “Simple. You're fat, you're chubby, you're overweight, you're obese, and you'd look GREAT in a diaper!” Bubble Bass says: “Besides the LAST thing, all the other qualities are the exact SAME thing!” / Bubble Bass says: “Fine, I'll do it. But I'm NOT wearing a diaper!” / Bubble Bass says: You know, I'm actually SURPRISED by how long I lasted against Po! I'm kind of proud of myself. Maybe there IS more to me than just fat. Uh, that, didn't come out right.” / Tigress screams: “BRITTANY, you JERK!!!! You COST US the GAME!!!!” Johnny says: “Oh, so NOW it's 'US', and not, 'You'!” Tigress says: “Stay out of this! Brittany, YOU are DEAD; metaphorically speaking!” Brittany Miller fumes, and says: “Oh, you are SO lucky that I can't get a hold of my entourage right now!” / Bubble Bass asks: “Are you TRYING to SEDUCE me?! Is THAT what you're TRYING to do?!” Blonda seductively asks: “Would you LIKE me to seduce YOU?! Is THAT what you're trying to do?” / Marlene says: “You LIKE me! You REALLY like me!” / Marlene says: “Guys, it is clear to me that it is time for ME to come up with a strategy for US to win, since Tigress' plan of, 'Just attack the other side like CRAZY'; isn't WORKING for us!” Tigress scoffs, and says: “I do NOT sound like THAT!!!!” Fee says: “You probably COULD if you TRIED hard enough!” / Private is now in a body cast, covered with porcupine needles, and he says: “On the bright side, the porcupines were STILL very apologetic!” / Theodore says: “WATCH OUT FOR THAT...!!!!” (BANG!!!!) Theodore weakly says: “Tree.” / Fee scoffs, and says: “I SWEAR, you are the MOST generic, most cliché riddled villain EVER!” Anti-Cosmo says: “Aren't those the EASIEST to hate, though?” /

Private sighs, and he says: “I was AFRAID of this! Sooner or later, women ALWAYS figure out the truth! ALWAYS!” / Jenny says: “No WAY! You're THE Danny Phantom?!” / Tigress says: “Well, if I'm something that CAN be stopped, than just TRY to STOP me!” / Tigress says: “Don't TRY it, Katarra! I have the high ground!” Katarra says: “Your over-confidence is YOUR weakness! NEVER underestimate the abilities of a Water-Bender when ELIMINATION is on the line!” / Tigress chuckles: “Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! I TOLD you I'd WIN!!!!” / Katarra is heavily bandaged and, she says: “Hoist by my own petard. I did NOT see THAT coming!” / Bubble Bass says: "The stuff I've filled MY brain with isn't 'Pointless'. Why, just knowing a HANDFUL of the stuff I know, could net you on AVERAGE, about $44,440 a night on 'Jeopardy', depending on the categories and how much you successfully wager on the Daily Doubles and Final Jeopardy of course!" / Juandissimo Magnifico says: "And in related news, Justin Beiber has JUST been STRUCK by LIGHTNING!!!!" General Barracuda yells: "Oh, YEAH?!!! Well, who asked YOU?!!!!" / Tigress says: "Are you saying that I'm the ONLY capable contestant on OUR team?!" Johnny says: "At least she said, 'OUR' team, this time!" / Johnny says: "And what about the Final Three? What THEN?!" Tigress says: "The challenge will be a CAKE walk for me, because I'll be competing against LARD BUTT Bubble Bass, and noodle arms Private! I'll run CIRCLES around them, and compete the challenge in fifteen minutes, which is par for the COURSE for me!" / Tigress says: "Hello! If all the Power Pandas are out looking for a challenge, there MUST be a challenge that will be taking place! It's just LOGIC!" Fee says: "Oh, it's logic all right; it's Insane Troll Logic, and I can't BELIEVE that I personally KNOW what that is!" / Tigress groans, and she says: "What a bunch of WHINERS!!!! They're all acting like this is Kindergarden or something, and that I'm not giving them the time to take their regularly scheduled naps! I NEVER took a nap when I was training with Master Shifu, and I turned out just fine!" / Bubble Bass says: "Now that you mention it, you're right! Something DOES smell in here, and it smells a whole lot WORSE than that time I was in that swamp with Patrick!" /

Bonnie says: "General Barracuda, if we don't make it out of here, there's something I have to tell you about Bubble Bass!" General Barracuda says: "Bonnie, I know you're upset, that he's fat, Brilliant, but lazy, and a bit of a snob, but over the last few challenges, he's proven to me that he can be a real stand-up guy, he just needs the right incentive!" Bonnie says: "Bubble Bass isn't his real name, it's a nickname he gave himself." General Barracuda says: "I didn't know that!" Bonnie says: "His real name IS Horatio!" General Barracuda SOMEHOW doesn't get it, and he says: "That's nice." Bonnie seriously says: "HORATIO BARRACUDA the Second. YOU'RE his father!" General Barracuda shouts: "HOW IN THE H-E DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS DID YOU LET HIM GET THAT FAT?!!!" / Fee shouts: "WHOO-HOO! I am SO GLAD I got ME one of THESE!!!!" / Bubble Bass says: "I'm STILL having trouble understanding this whole thing! How could YOU actually BE my father?! You're NOT my father!" General Barracuda seriously says: "You bet your BIG BUTT that I am, and I've got NEWS for you, kid, you're going to STRAIGHTEN up your act, help your mom out more around the house, and be more active in life!" Bubble Bass asks: "What happened to, 'There ain't a darn thing wrong with you, and don't let anybody tell you any different'?!" General Barracuda says: "That was BEFORE I was your father!" / Johnny asks: "Didn't you even SEE that 1980's movie?!" Tigress yells: "WHAT 1980's movie?!" Johnny says: "You know what? Escape now, argue later!" / General Barracuda says: "Speaking of Bubble Bass, turns out, he's MY son!!!!" Sniz shockingly asks: "YOUR son?!" General Barracuda says: "Don't worry, I'll treat him the same as any other contestant. In the meantime, there's something that I need to do!" Bonnie asks: "What's that?" General Barracuda seriously says: "Something that I should have done a LONG time ago, once I lost Ambrosia, and once you lost Bobby Bass. Bonnie Carp Bass, will you give this foolish man the chance he didn't take, and give it to me now? Will, you marry me?" Bonnie says: "Well, let me THINK about it...YES!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "I've got a FATHER!!!! I've got a father!" / Tigress yells: "WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY ATTITUDE?!!!" Brittany says: "Well, NOTHING! If you're 'Xena: The Warrior Princess', who I can mention by name, since I'm not planning on making any money off of that!" /

Johnny says: "Once again, we come to the same root of your BIGGEST problem, that you simply FAIL to comprehend! You think that this is all about, 'You, You, You'. Well, the last team challenge is going to take PLACE soon, Tigress! So, the Fairy Tale is over." Johnny than shouts to Tigress: "WELCOME TO REAL LIFE!!!! You WANT to WIN the game so BADLY?! EARN it, and show some FREAKING empathy ONCE, in a while!" Tigress angrily says: "YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!!" Johnny rhetorically says: "NO, YOU, Take that back!" Tigress says: "How DARE YOU, you insolent PEASANT?! Nobody talks to ME that way! Nobody!" Than Tigress shouts with an echoing effect: "NOBODY! Nobody! Nobody..." Johnny mockingly says: "Well, what have we got here, Brittany? Those flashy eyes, those fleshed cheeks, those trembling lips. You know SOMETHING, Tigress? You are UGLY, when you're angry!" / Private says: "A pirate based challenge? How cliche!" Kowalski sighs, and says: "Well, statistically, this show was bound to HAVE to do one EVENTUALLY!" / Jenny says: "It's nice to meet you in person, Angelica." Angelica says: "I'm sorry, I HAVE this policy of NOT speaking to LOSERS!" Jenny says: "I'm NOT a loser...unless, everyone ELSE thinks I am!" Kowalski says: "Don't worry! We have NO intention of thinking that!" / Bubble Bass says: "Don't go NEAR them! Don't you know what Sirens DO to guys that fall into their traps?! They COOK you, than EAT you! Or WORSE!" Johnny asks: "What could be WORSE than THAT?!" Bubble Bass says: "GIFT Shops!" / Angelica screams: "AHHH!!!! I'm going to die, I'm going to DIE!!!! I'm gonna be BLOWN up, and than I'm going to die!!!!" / Angelica tearfully writes what APPEARS to be a Last Will and Testament! Angelica says: "To my mother, and my father, I leave my entire collection of trophies, medals, awards, and other academic achievements, that I have earned throughout the years. To my two younger cousins, Tommy and Dil, I leave..." Than Angelica changes her tone, and angrily says: "NOTHING!!!! Earn it YOURSELVES, you SLACKERS!" / Tigress, with faux empathy, says: "Oh, you want to lighten the LOAD!!!!" Tigress quickly GRABS Brittany, and Tigress says: "EXCELLENT IDEA!!!!" / Johnny says: "Tigress, if you ONLY listen to me for ONCE in your LIFE, do it NOW, and WALK away FOREVER!!!!" / Jenny says: "Rule 42, all persons more than a mile high, must LEAVE the game IMMEDIATELY!" /

Tigress nervously says: "You don't want to eat ME!!!! I'd be so TOUGH, and...gamey!" / Brittany, in her normal voice, says: "I'm...I'm ALIVE!!!!" And she looks at Bubble Bass, and she says: "And you're...you're NAKED!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "AGAIN?!!! I'm starting to WONDER why I even BOTHER wearing clothes to these challenges at all!" Johnny says: "Because it's FUNNY!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "No it's NOT! It's just STUPID!!!! It's almost as DUMB as the time Spongebob Squarepants sold everything INCLUDING all his clothes, just so he could buy the Le Spatula 3,000!" / Johnny sarcastically says: "Oh, NOW you remember that you have an alliance?!" / Johnny Krill shockingly says: "WHAT?!!! Does Tigress have some CREEPY Pendant of Life finding Radar INSTALLED in her BODY?!!!" / Tigress says: "I WISH I had some CREEPY Pendant of Life Finding Radar INSTALLED in my body! It would make my game a whole lot easier!" / The Clip Montage ends, and the C.G.I. words make a fancy exit off-screen as the poppy music ends. / "Performance Review: Confessions Of A Teenage Chipmunk Queen" / The episode opens up proper, focusing on a big green couch, in front of a studio, filled with Fairy Godparents who are STILL on strike, and Norbert and Daggett walk out to the big green couch! Norbert says: "Welcome to another Performance Review! Coming back for more fun, I'm Norbert Foster Beaver!" Daggett says: "And I'm Daggett! And sorry, but I am happily married, and spoken for!" Norbert says: "I am to, you know." Daggett says: "Any word yet on when they're going to start work on Angry Beavers: Re-spooted?" Norbert says: "Daggett, when I know something, you'll know something, okay?" Daggett sighs, and says: "All right, then." Norbert says: "Anyways, it's time to do our regularly scheduled Performance Review! Naturally, Blonda couldn't be here due to being...indisposed, and Treeflower is at home taking care of my kids! But don't worry, we're going to have tons of fun interviewing the previously eliminated contestants from this season!" Daggett says: "And we might have some OTHER surprises to, BUT, you have to keep WATCHING in order to find out what those are! See how that works?!" Norbert says: "Right! Here are the eliminated contestants, as follows!" Daggett says: "Bessie Higgenbottom, from The Mighty B!" Norbert says: "Rico, from The Penguins of Madagascar!" Daggett says: "Katarra, from Avatar: The Last Airbender!" Norbert says: "Danny Fenton, from Danny Phantom, in CASE that wasn't ALREADY obvious!" Daggett says: "Fee, from Harvey Beaks!" Norbert says: "And last but not least, Theodore Seville AND Brittany Miller from Alvinnnn!!!! And The Chipmunks, in today's episode, that we're calling, 'Confessions Of A Teenage Chipmunk Queen', in honor of Brittany Miller, herself!" Daggett says: "So sit tight and hang on, while we get this show on the road, with our very first former contestant for today!"

Norbert says: "Right! She was a talker...and a talker...and a talker...and a talker...did she do anything else BUT talk?!" Daggett says: "Not that I can think of, and I was actually PAYING attention this time!" Norbert says: "Right! The sole representative from The Mighty B!, give it up for Bessie Higgenbottom!" And Bessie Higgenbottom walks onstage, wearing a wig that makes her LOOK like Amy Poehler, and Daggett says: "Hold it! Before you sit down on the couch, would you PLEASE stand on the mark that LOOKS like an 'X'?" Bessie asks: "Whatever for?" Daggett thinks about it, shrugs his shoulders, and says: "No reason." Bessie says: "Okay!" Norbert says: "So Bessie, why don't you tell us ALL about why YOU think you lost your chance to win $1.4 million this season!" Bessie says: "Okay! First off, I think it's because, my great, great--." (CRACK!!!!) And Bessie NEVER gets to finish her thought, because an overhead stage light CRACKS from the ceiling, and falls RIGHT on top of her, SMASHING her through the floor! Daggett's mood sours, and with BAD, BAD Acting says: "OH, looks like that stage light wasn't totally fixed like Anti-Cosmo SAID it would be! And just when Bessie's story was REALLY starting to get interesting, to! So instead, let's bring out our FIRST surprise for today! Surprise guests, Lil Deville and Stimpy!" Norbert seriously says: "You just COULDN'T wait until the interview was finished, COULD you?!" Daggett says: "Hey! If we LET Bessie Higgenbottom talk, the episode will be OVER!!!! We've got a schedule to keep!" Norbert groans, but unwilling to carry it any further, says: "FINE!!!! Lil Deville and Stimpy, come on out!" Lil Deville comes out excitedly, while Stimpy follows, but his mood is still somewhat sour! Daggett says: "It's good to have you back, Lil and Stimpy! I just wish Stimpy's face actually LOOKED happy, like it's supposed to!" Lil says: "You can't really blame him, his divorce with Ren Hoek has just been finalized, and we've finished moving everything of our's back to Los Angeles. Stimpy is glad to be back in Hollywood and everything, but, it's still hard for Stimpy to be without Ren, in spite of all the mood swings Ren has had all the years." Norbert says: "I can vouch for that! Now, Stimpy, you DON'T have to answer this question if you don't want to; but if you do, will you tell us how you are feeling right now about everything?" Stimpy sighs, and says: "Personally, I don't really feel like talking about it. I did what I had to do to keep my kids, my wife, and myself safe. Ren only has himself to blame, for NOT getting the help he SAID he was going to get for all the trouble he faced with HIS parents, being raised in an environment with Toxic Masculinity! While I can personally empathize and sympathize with the troubles Ren has gone through, I simply cannot overlook his mood swings ANY longer, especially NOT when they involve my kids! Eventually, I had to reach the point where I realized that, 'Freudian Excuse is NO Excuse'!"

Daggett says: "That's certainly telling it like it is!" Stimpy says: "I guess, what I thought was romance with Ren, was only some form of a long term 'Stockholm Syndrome;, not that he put me in that position, but because I wanted SO hard to bring out the goodness that I KNEW was inside of him! I guess the only reason I didn't leave him sooner, was because I thought that if I left him, that would mean all the time I spent with him, would've been all for NOTHING! I guess it's only when Ren showed his TRUE colors, by trying to hurt my kids, was that he was NEVER interested in wanting me to help him, he only wanted to keep me around, for his OWN personal amusement! Ren might have thought he was wasting MY time! But you know what I think? In reality, the only time HE wasted, was HIS! Because now, he's finally paying the price! He's in jail, he's NEVER allowed to come to California AGAIN on penalty of getting jailed AGAIN, IF he ever gets out, and he has effectively become an 'Unperson' to me, Lil, and my kids!" Norbert says: "Don't your kids...STILL...kind of love Ren?" Stimpy says: "As Tina Turner once sang, 'What's Love Got To Do With It'? And unlike her song, there are some things in life more important than misplaced love! The safety of my kids must come first!" Daggett asks: "Don't you care about what your kids think?" Stimpy says: "Of course I do! It's just...I don't know how to explain it in my own words, so I guess I'll have to sing it! Specifically, I'm going to sing ABBA's, 'The Winner Takes It All'. Take it away, Lil!" / A musical sequence begins. Lil is wearing a fancy blue dress, playing a Piano, and Stimpy is in a tuxedo, singing into a microphone. /

Stimpy sings: "I don't want to talk, about the things we've gone through. Though it's hurting me, now it's history. I've played all my cards, and that's what you've done, too. Nothing more to say, no more ace to play. The winner takes it all, the loser's standing small. Besides the victory, that's my destiny. I was in his arms, thinking I belonged there. I figured it made sense, building me a fence. Building me a home, thinking I'd be stong there. But I was just a fool, playing by his rules. The gods may throw a dice, his mind's as cold as ice! And someone way down there, loses someone dear." Lil joins in, and sings the back-up vocals to Stimpy's singing: "The winner takes it all (takes it all), the loser has to fall (has to fall). It's simple and it's plain (it seems plain), why should I complain? (Why complain?) (Instrumental Solo) Somewhere deep inside, you must know I miss you. But what else can I say? Rules must be obeyed. The judges will decide (they decide), the likes of me abide (we abide). Spectators of the show (of the show), always staying low (staying low). The game is on again (on again), a lover or a friend (or a friend). A big thing or a small (or a small), the winner takes it all (takes it all). I don't wanna talk if it makes you feel sad. And I understand, if you've come to shake my hand. I apologise if it makes you feel bad. Seeing me so tense, no self-confidence. But you see, the winner takes it all! (So the winner, takes it all. And the loser, has to fall. Throw a dice, cold as ice. Way down here, someone dear. Takes it all, has to fall. It seems plain, why complain?") And the piano plays until the song ends. / Norbert and Daggett clap loudly, astounded by their talents! Norbert says: "Thank you, Stimpy and Lil, your skills were magnificent." Lil says: "Thank you, I've been practicing." Stimpy says: "And you know what, I feel better now. In my opinion, the only REAL loser of this whole ordeal, is Ren! Because he has lost THIS guy FOREVER!" Daggett says: "You said it, why don't you take a seat in the bleachers, now?" Lil says: "Thank you, we will." And they both take a seat in the currently empty former contestant's row. Norbert says: "We've got to take a break right down. But don't worry! When we come back, we'll interview Rico, Katarra, Theodore, Danny, Fee, and Brittany! So stay tuned, for the rest of the show!" / (Commercial Break) /

The commercials end, and in the bleachers, a completely bandaged Bessie Higgenbottom, is now seen sitting next to Lil Deville! Bessie TRIES to say something, but because the bandages are covering her MOUTH, all we can hear is: "MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!!" This ACTUALLY causes Lil to laugh, and she says: "I must admit, Bessie, you've NEVER sounded SO smart!" And Bessie angrily mutters: "MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!!" Norbert asks: "What did she say? Does ANYONE know what she SAID?!" Stimpy says: "Take it from MY personal experience, you DON'T want to know!" Norbert actually THINKS about it, but he decides, and says: "Point taken! Anyways, it's time to bring out the NEXT former eliminated contestant! Right, Daggett?!" Daggett says: "Right, Norbert! He was a penguin, a spy, a LIVING bag of holding, and a guy who both LIKED, but couldn't HANDLE spicy foods, give it up for RICO!!!!" Rico runs onstage on all fours, to THUNDEROUS applause! Daggett is puzzled, and he says: "I didn't ASK for applause!" Norbert says: "I didn't either, but maybe..." Norbert looks up, and sees the "Applause" sign lit up, and Norbert shouts: "HAYDEN!!!!" Hayden shouts: "Sorry, reflex!" And the applause sign is dimmed, but scattered applause can STILL be heard! Daggett shrugs his shoulders, and he says: "Huh! I guess Rico really DOES have some fans!" Norbert says: "There are bound to be fans for EVERY type of contestant on this show, no matter HOW misplaced they might be! But seeing as how I don't want to get into a discussion about it, let's get RIGHT to interviewing Rico!" Daggett says: "Right! Rico, why don't you take a seat?!" Rico just looks all puzzled at Daggett and says: "Bleh?" Norbert says: "Rico, do you WANT to sit, or would you rather stand?" Rico STILL doesn't get it, and says: "Bleh?" Daggett is STARTING to get angry, and RESTRAINING himself, asks: "Well, maybe you would LIKE to tell us what your experience on this show was LIKE for you?!" But Rico STILL looks confused, and just says: "Bleh?" Daggett FINALLY loses it, and screams: "AUGH!!!! I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!!!!" Norbert says: "I can't either, and I'M the SMART beaver!" Daggett yells: "NORBERT!!!!" Norbert says: "Well, I AM!!!! I've got the IQ Tests to PROVE it! KATARRA!!!!" Katarra floats onstage to transcendental sitar music, and she says: "You rang? I ALWAYS wanted to SAY that!" Daggett says: "Katarra, we NEED you to do us a HUGE favor and TRANSLATE for us, and EVERYONE at home, EXACTLY what it is that Rico has been SAYING!" Katarra asks: "And what makes you think that I know HOW to do that?" Norbert says: "Well, you CAN read Auras!" Katarra says: "Fair enough. I'll see what I can do."

Katarra feels Rico's stomach, where his heart is located, and Katarra says: "Hmm, I SEE." Daggett says: "So, what has Rico been saying?" Katarra says: "Well, in response to your FIRST question, Daggett, he said: 'I won't take orders from YOU, because YOU are a GREAT, BIG, STOOPY, POOPY, Beaver!' In response to YOUR question, Norbert, he said, 'I'm not sure yet, because I always have a tough time making up my mind.' And in response to your SECOND question, Daggett, he said, 'My experience on this show WAS fine until I got fed those SPICY peppers which caused me to lose control, and caused more than HALF of my team to vote against me, leading me to being HERE, being ASKED STUPID questions from a VERY angry BEAVER, DOOFUS'!" Norbert exclaims: "He said all THAT in ONE 'Bleh'?!" Daggett says: "I heard of 'Reading BETWEEN the LINES' but THAT'S just NUTS! And why did he have to call me a 'Great, Big, Stoopy, Poopy, Beaver'? That's VERY hurtful, you know!" Katarra says: "Don't shoot the messenger, I'm just telling you what he said from his point of view." Norbert says: "Right. And as long as YOU'RE here, Katarra, would you feel like telling us what you thought about the show?" Katarra says: "Well, I was already PRETTY convinced that Tigress was ALREADY only looking out for herself when she got ME eliminated, but watching the episodes AFTER my elimination, have only confirmed it! There is no doubt in MY mind, that Tigress is NOT going to be happy if some SMUG, SMART, know-it-all like KOWALSKI beats HER in the competition! Tigress may currently be regressed to be nine years old, but if I know Tigress as well as I do, she's NOT going to STOP until she UTTERLY decimates Kowalski in a challenge! His time as a contestant on this season of the show is in DANGER!!!!" Rico surprisingly asks: "BLEH?!!!" Katarra says: "Well, it's TRUE!!!! Tigress is obsessed WITH WINNING!!!! And when she DOESN'T win, she gets ANGRY, and she will take OUT her anger on whoever she thinks is the biggest THREAT to her in the game! And since TRYING to hit Jenny would get Tigress nowhere fast, not to mention, she would NEVER betray Po, she's going to target the NEXT biggest threat, who CURRENTLY, happens to be Kowalski! I'm sorry, but I don't see ANY scenario where Kowalski will come OUT of the ensuing mayhem unharmed!" Norbert asks: "Do...do you think there is any HOPE for Kowalski, OR Private?" Katarra says: "Hard to say. Unfortunately, as an eliminated contestant, I have no way to warn Kowalski, nor am I allowed to. Hopefully, Kowalski will be able to UTILIZE his knowledge in order to minimize the damage to himself, and NULLIFY any threats to Private! Because, when it comes right down to it, Kowalski will NEVER allow Tigress to lay a CLAW on Private, without going THROUGH Kowalski first! Tigress MAY be able to eliminate Kowalski, but Kowalski is GOING to make sure that it ends up costing Tigress EVERYTHING, including a chance at the title for this season!" And the audience CHEERS at the revelation, and Rico happily says: "Bleh!"

Katarra chuckles, and she says: "I thought you would be happy about that! Needless to say, Tigress is going to be in for a BIG surprise when she finds out just HOW good Private can be in a competition! I think he's going to surprise nearly EVERYBODY, and go ALL the way, this season!" Daggett says: "As a fellow underdog, I would certainly like to SEE that! Thank you, Rico, and Katarra; why don't you both take a seat in the bleachers?" Rico runs to the bleachers, and sits on Bessie's lap, and even ALLOWS Bessie to pet him, while Katarra floats over to Stimpy. Stimpy says: "You know, I think you would've been a MUCH more interesting contestant to face than Aang, in seasons one and two." Katarra says: "If I had, either the whole Mesogog situation would've never taken place, or Master Coelaceanth would've found SOMEBODY else to inject Mesogog into!" Stimpy thinks about it, and he says: "Good point!" Norbert says: "Our next two contestants BOTH got eliminated in the same episode, so we're interviewing them together!" Daggett says: "One is a crime-fighting teen, who goes by the superhero alias of Danny Phantom!" Norbert says: "The other is a ten year old girl from Little Bark, who loves conditioning her hair, and playing practical jokes on her brother Foo." Daggett says: "Give it up for Danny Fenton, and Fee...actually, we don't KNOW what her LAST name is!" Danny Fenton flies onstage as Danny Phantom, while Fee walks onstage, with a BUNCH of Cubic Zirconium jewelry all OVER her, including a makeshift crown from the Cubic Zirconium she had found! Norbert says: "Wow, that is ONE fancy outfit, Fee!" Fee chuckles, and she says: "Thank you! I made it myself, with a little help from my Yeti Crab adopted brother, of course!" Norbert asks: "You mean, your parents ACTUALLY let you adopt the Yeti Crab as your older brother?!" Fee says: "Heck, yeah! After seeing how helpful he was in that underground treasure challenge, they adopted him post haste! We're not sure if we're going to give him a name yet, but for now, we're calling him 'Yeti'. We feel that when the time is right, HE will know what he wants to be called!" Daggett says: "Right! And just what IS it with that outfit of yours?" Fee says: "Well, after making a set of false teeth for my brother Foo, there was a LOT of material left over, so Yeti and I got busy crafting, and we came up with all of THIS! Now, I'm a regular little fashion model, with REASONABLE working hours of course! I can FINALLY afford a PROPER education and wardrobe, AND my parents can NOW even afford to move BACK to Little Bark! I'll be able to be friends with Harvey, Technobear, and all the other kids again, woo-woo! Who SAYS that miracles aren't possible?!" Norbert says: "Well said! And Danny Fenton, you had your share of struggles this season, and they weren't necessarily game related. What do you think tripped you up more; the famous spirits who were inhabiting your body. Or the fact that you TRIED to keep it to yourself?"

Danny sighs, and he says: "No doubt about it, trying to keep that fact to myself. I've got no one to blame but myself. You see, I've always been used to pretty much figuring out my problems on my own. I mean, SURE, I've got friends back in Casper, but they don't have super powers like I do, so, I've ALWAYS kind of had to be at the FRONT of the action, because I KNEW that I could take pretty much ANYTHING that any evil ghost could throw at me! But, being sort of possessed by famous spirits, kind of threw me for a loop. That was a REAL outside context problem for me, and I didn't know how to deal with it. I guess...I didn't want to admit it, because I thought people would think LESS of me, for being unable to deal with a problem on my own. All I want to say is, I'm sorry for making such a mistake. And, if I ever get a chance to BE on this show again, I won't make that same mistake again!" Daggett says: "FUNNY you should say that! Because, it's time to reveal our SECOND surprise for tonight!" Lil says: "You mean, BESIDES me and Stimpy?!" Norbert says: "You know it! The reason WHY Sniz spent so much time AWAY from the show, during the beginning of the underground treasure challenge, is because he was in talks, to negotiate an end to the STRIKE the Fairy Godparents have been in! Sniz has agreed, to let the Fairies, have MANY concessions they never HAD before, if they come BACK to be interns! Well, I'm happy to tell you, the Fairy Godparents AGREED! They will be getting perks, such as being able to HAVE union breaks, including access to the chocolate fountain, the soda bar, and the buffet table! And because the Fairy Godparents are coming back, that means we're going to have a SECOND part to season four!" Stimpy asks: "A second part?" Daggett says: "That's right! Sniz and Fondue are going to let the Anti-Fairies and our current contestants finish off the competition they're already in, and once it's finished, we'll be able to find out who gets to compete in what WE'RE calling, season 4B of this show; Total Cartoon Legends!!!!" And music from "Legends of The Hidden Temple" plays in the background, to thunderous applause! Norbert says: "As you can guess from the title, Cartoon Legends, from both the past three incarnations of this show, and the one currently in progress, will be able to come back! Season 4B will have 30 episodes, 4 of which, will be Performance Reviews. We still need to determine, the contestants who WILL be returning for the show, before we can figure out, exactly how the Elimination structure will work. But rest assured, when the time comes, I will once again be helping to host the Performance Reviews, with Eliza Thornberry!" Daggett asks: "You're NOT going to compete in Total Cartoon Legends?!" Norbert says: "Nah. I already HAD my fun as a contestant on this show. I'm just going to kick back and commentate on it THIS time! Besides, there's a reason why I'm NOT competing in this upcoming season!" Daggett asks: "Why is that?"

Norbert answers: "A very BIG reason, to give both YOU and Treeflower, the chance you've ALWAYS deserved, and to have ONE more shot at the grand prize and title, in season 4B, of Total Cartoon Legends!" Daggett noticeably tears up, and he asks: "You, want ME, to compete in Total Cartoon Legends, instead of YOU?!" Norbert says: "I still feel kind of bad for the way I treated you in season 2. Not to mention, you didn't even get a CHANCE to be a contestant on THAT season, whereas, I got two! So, I'm making it up to you, by letting both YOU and Treeflower go in my stead! And don't worry, I'll make sure that my kids are well taken care of while you're gone." Daggett actually HUGS Norbert for a change, and he says: "Oh, THANK you Norbert, you're the BEST!" Norbert says: "Well, I certainly try to be!" Danny is intrigued, and says: "Total Cartoon Legends, huh? Well, Fee, looks like me and you, MIGHT get another chance at the title, sooner than we thought!" Fee says: "As long as Harvey gets to come WITH me this time, I have no reason to complain!" Daggett says: "Thank you for your time, Danny and Fee, why don't you both take a seat in the bleachers?" Danny flies over, and takes a seat next to Katarra, and Fee sits next to Bessie. Katarra says: "Your Aura is all healed. It's no longer fractured, the way it used to be." Danny is confused, and says: "Thanks! I THINK!" Fee looks at Bessie, and says: "Don't worry about your hair! I've got a GREAT hair formula at home! I'll call my parents, and they'll give YOU some of MY instant hair growth formula!" Bessie actually perks up, and says: "MMMM!!!!" Norbert says: "Our final guests for tonight, is another two for one deal." Daggett says: "He was a boy, she was a girl. Can I make it ANYMORE obvious?!" Norbert says: "Actually, you can! He is a member of the famous band, Alvin & The Chipmunks, she is a member of the girl band, The Chipettes; give it up for Theodore Seville, and Brittany Miller!" Theodore and Brittany both walk onstage, holding hands, while the audience is loudly cheering! Katarra says: "Theodore and Brittany Miller ACTUALLY holding hands? Now I HAVE seen everything!" Brittany says: "Oh, it feels SO good to be back here!" Theodore says: "And its SO good to see you at your normal size! Even though, even if you had STAYED giant, there would've JUST been more of YOU to love; TECHNICALLY speaking, of course!" Brittany says: "Of course!" Daggett says: "Now, Theodore, some people think that the reason YOU lost the game, was because you went OUT of your way to try to impress Brittany Miller! Why did you MAKE such a foolish decision to TRY to run up a building, when General Barracuda was throwing barrels at you?! I mean, you should've KNOWN your OWN limitations, and not make such a RASH decision!" Theodore says: "First off, I had no way of knowing General Barracuda was THAT good at throwing barrels! Secondly, no one FORCED me to do it! I made that decision on my own! I may not have won, but at least I made an effort! That's a LOT more than what OTHER people make!"

Norbert says: "I agree! It might not have been conducive to a LONG Term game, but it definitely helped you in your relationship with Brittany. I got to give you props for that! Now, Brittany; it's time we talked with you. Going into this show, you were ARGUABLY, the MOST famous contestant on this season! Why did you come here?" Brittany says: "Well, initially, I mainly did it to help boost my album sales, get on the covers of many famous magazines, and get written about! I DO have fans who like to know what I'm up to! But after getting eliminated the FIRST time, and then getting to come back as an intern, I actually had to do some honest, HARD work, for arguably, the first time in my life. And even though it wasn't easy, the way my singing career is, it felt more honest. I was helping to make sure, that a good show was going to happen, and that a good challenge, was going to take place! I might not have had the BEST scenes, or the MOST scenes, but in a way, I made SURE, that the progress of this show, happened in a way that was dramatic, and effective! I feel proud of my efforts! Of course, if I had known that eating that giant acorn was going to temporarily going to turn me into a giant, I wouldn't have eaten it. That DEFINITELY helped lead to my second elimination! But, I guess it's true with what a certain old saying goes; 'Hindsight is Always 20-20'." Daggett says: "That's certainly the truth! Now, it's time to ask the former eliminated contestants themselves, one FINAL question! Which contestant, do YOU want, to WIN the Final Two, at the end of season 4A, that we're currently in?!" Stimpy says: "Private!" Lil says: "Private!" Bessie says: "MMMM, MMMM!!!!" Katarra says: "She said, 'Private'!" Rico says: "Bleh!" Katarra says: "He said, 'Private, obviously'!" Theodore says: "I guess, Private!" Brittany says: "Awkward! I was going to say, 'Jenny'!" And everyone looks STRANGELY at her! Brittany says: "WHAT?! It's STILL better than saying, 'Tigress'!" Norbert thinks about it, and says: "Personally, that's a good point." Danny says: "Private, he helped me when no one else would!" Fee says: "I can't let Brittany be alone, I want Jenny to win, to!" Katarra says: "And I want Bubble Bass to win!" Daggett doesn't GET the comment at first, and he says: "Of course you do. (Beat) Wait, WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Katarra says: "I have my reasons." Norbert says: "Oh, really? And what would THOSE be?" Katarra says: "THAT, would be TELLING, wouldn't it?" Daggett says: "Very well, than. Guess YOU'RE still going to be mysterious! Well, I want Private to win, to! Norbert, how about you?" Norbert says: "You're NOT going to know who I WANT to win! I REFUSE to be predictable!" (Confessional) Norbert says: "I'm going to go AGAINST the majority decision, and I want Bubble Bass to win, JUST to rub it IN Tigress' over-competitive face!" (End Confessional) Daggett says: "So that's seven for Private, two for Jenny, one for Bubble Bass, and Norbert won't say. But, will any of THOSE three make it to the Final Two? THAT remains to be seen!"

Norbert says: "Thanks for watching us! So, until next time! I'm Norbert Foster Beaver!" Daggett says: "And I'm Daggett!" Norbert says: "And this has been another edition of the Total Cartoon, Performance Review! So until next time, stay tuned in!" Daggett says: "And keep that popcorn popping!" Norbert says: "Awesome! I love this show!" / Episode Notes: No eliminations, due to it being a Performance Review. Featured Song: "The Winner Takes It All", performed by Stimpy and Lil. It's revealed that once "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back" is finished, "Total Cartoon Legends" will begin, and make up the SECOND half of season 4! / Personal Notes: The main reason why I wrote this Performance Review, was because I wanted to explore the thoughts of the eliminated contestants so far, especially since the "Total Drama" equivalent of this season, didn't do so for THEIR previously eliminated contestants! Also, I wanted to explain why it is that Tigress is AGAINST a penguin like Kowalski winning, but how WANTING to target him, will eventually lead to her OWN undoing! But how exactly THAT might happen, remains to be seen! / I hope you enjoyed READING this episode, as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

Quote

 

“Duck Dodgers. Some call him a hero, a savior, and an inspiration. Others call him a coward, an egotist, and a fool. All of these things are true, to an extent. I would know. I spent a few years alongside Dodgers, observing him and recording his actions.

 

I suppose I should recount when he first emerged into the Imperium at large. He was found deep underground on Holy Terra by a group of Tech-Priests, all of whom were in the middle of some ritual. They had discovered the cryopod containing Dodgers, and were praying to the machine spirit inside, when one of them managed to press the button that thawed him. He was brought out of cryosleep, quite confused and demanding to know where he was. The Tech-Priests nearly shot him for, in their view, defiling a machine with his presence inside.

 

After a few months of paperwork, shouting matches, tangled bureaucratic dealings, and violence, Duck Dodgers was given the same privileges as a Rogue Trader. Meaning, he was given a ship that was equipped with a Warp drive and came with a small crew, and sent away from Terra, so the High Lords did not have to deal with him anymore.

 

One member of that crew was me. Amberley Vail, Inquisitor of the Ordos Xenos, author of Ciaphas Cain’s memoirs, and subject of many a Guardsmen’s lewd fantasies. I went with Dodgers in order to keep an eye on him, because, despite how harmless he seemed, he was still an alien, and no one had any idea what he might do. At least, that was the official reason I went. The more personal reason was that I thought I saw the same spark of potential in Dodgers as I did in Ciaphas Cain so many years ago.

 

By the Emperor...I could not have been more wrong...”

 

- Inquisitor Amberley Vail, The Tale of Duck Dodgers: A Memoir.

 

The Inquisitor and the Duck

 

Inquisitor Amberley Vail cleared her throat, smoothing out the parchment in front of her and picking up an ink pen. "You know, I have seen many strange and unbelievable things." She said to the unusual figure sitting across from her. "But never anything quite as odd as a walking, talking duck."

 

The duck folded his arms, frowning. “You think I’m odd? Listen, toots, I woke up buried far beneath the earth in a cryogenics pod surrounded by cyborgs. See, that’s odd.” The duck, who was much shorter than Amberley at 3 ½ feet, looked at her with his large white eyes; he had no visible sclera, his pupils single black dots. His feathers were equally dark, his bill and feet bright orange; the only other distinguishing feature being the small white ring around his neck. “Now, you wanna tell me just what in Jones’ name is going on here? Because I need to go collect my money for that government experiment. Being frozen for who-knows-how-long ain’t free, ya know.”

 

“The ‘government’ you speak of no longer exists.” the Imperial Guardsman standing beside the duck informed him. “It’s a long-gone myth as far as we know.” The duck stared blankly at Amberley, his pupils having shrunk into near-nothingness.

 

“A-a-myth…?” he asked. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. Bugs...Lola….Tina...all of them were long-dead...it couldn’t be.

 

"What year was it when you entered the cryopod?" Amberley asked. The duck, or ‘Daffy’, as he preferred to be called, put a finger to his beak in contemplation.

 

“...2014, I believe. Yeah, that’s it. 2014.” Daffy answered after a minute or two.

 

Amberley stared at him for several seconds. "By the Emperor…"

 

Daffy blinked. “What? Was it something I said?” No immediate response. “Yoo-hoo, Blondie?” Daffy snapped his fingers in front of Amberley’s face. Still no response.

 

"Guardsman...what is the current year?"

 

“953.M41, Inquisitor.”

 

Daffy blinked. “....So, almost 38,000 years have passed?” He paused. “Wow, I’m better at math than I thought.”

 

The Guardsman joined Amberley in staring at Daffy now. “By the Emperor indeed, Inquisitor. This...this duck...he’s from the Age of Terra.”

 

"You're a living relic." Amberley said. "The oldest technology in the Imperium comes from the Dark Age, but no humans from that era still live. Technology older than that is unheard of. But a piece of tech from the Age of Terra, in addition to a living being…"

 

“Then we have a very rare find.” the Guardsman concluded.

 

“Hey, buddy, what’s your name?” Daffy interrupted.

 

“McKimson. Guardsman McKimson.”

 

“Alrighty then, McKimson, let me get this straight: I’m some kinda relic to you weirdos? Then why’d those cyborg guys try to kill me when they activated the pod?”

 

“Because to the tech-priests you were ‘desecrating the machine spirit’.” McKimson answered, then laughed a bit. “Wait till the cogboys hear about this…”

 

"Tech-priests of the Adeptus Mechanicus." Amberley explained. "They dwell on Mars, and are the ones who keep the technology of the Imperium running. They're also fanatically religious, and tend to kill people who, intentionally or not, meddle with their work. They worship machines, believing that they all have spirits, which must be revered."

 

Daffy blinked, and nodded to act like he understood (which he honestly didn’t). “So they tried killing me because I was in the pod?” Daffy’s eyes darted up, as if he were pondering again. “That explains the ‘you dare violate the will of the Omnissiah, xeno!’ bit they were screaming at me.”

 

"Xenos in general tend not to be treated kindly by the Imperium." Amberley said. "At best, they are tolerated."

 

“Like you are right now.” McKimson added.

 

"Calling the Fabricator-General of the Mechanicus a 'cyborg freak' hasn't done you any favors." Amberley continued.

 

“....Again, he tried to kill me. Do I keep having to repeat myself!? And besides, didn’t your friend just call ‘em ‘cogboys’? If you ask me, that’s way more offensive.”

 

"The High Lords still might try to kill you." Amberley replied.

 

“....Who?”

 

"The governing council of the Imperium. The Fabricator-General is one of them."

 

“...Oh, poo.” Daffy muttered.

 

"As an Inquisitor, I don't report to the High Lords, so I am free to ignore any commands to hand you over. But they have other ways of having you killed. So, I have come up with a solution."

 

“What kind of a solution?” Daffy asked.

 

"You'll become a Rogue Trader, a conquistador, freelance explorer and merchant working for the Imperium of Man. You'll be given a ship, crew, and an Imperial Warrant of Trade granting you the full privileges of such a station. Being a Rogue Trader will take you beyond the borders of the Imperium, exploring unknown worlds. In your task of exploring and exploiting the still-uncharted regions of the galaxy for Mankind, you might come across worlds harbouring long-forgotten human civilisations which will be later incorporated into the Imperium by official Adeptus Mechanicus Explorator fleets and expeditions of the Imperial Navy and Astra Militarum. Other times, you may find empty or alien-dominated planets ripe for colonisation, conquest or exploitation by the Imperium -- and yourself. Being a Rogue Trader comes with risk and grave danger, but it can also lead to immense wealth and glory. So, what do you say? Will you accept this opportunity?" 

 

Daffy responded by his eyes briefly turning into dollar signs; McKimson and Amberley could hear a loud ‘cha-ching!’ from nowhere.“You had me at ‘wealth and glory’.”

 

Deciding to ignore the unusual occurrence, Amberley nodded and got up. "Splendid. Your ship is waiting for you. Follow me, please." Daffy followed behind her, giddy as could be.

 

“Rich...I’m gonna be rich…!” he kept muttering to himself.

 

"Have all the crewmembers reported in?" Amberley asked McKimson.

 

“Yes, Inquisitor. Tell me, why is your retinue on the list?”

 

"If I am going to be venturing out into the unknown, I want people I trust watching my back."

 

“...You’re doing this to keep an eye on...what’s his name? I don’t think either you or I know it."

 

She nodded. "The last thing the Imperium needs is for him to go off on his own and cause problems. Now, aside from my retinue and the Guardsmen, who else is on the list?"

 

“....Ciaphas Cain, Inquisitor.”

 

She stopped dead in her tracks. "Ciaphas?"

 

McKimson nodded.

 

Amberley started walking again, trying to keep a smile off her face. "Anyone else?"

 

McKimson handed her the list. “See for yourself.”

 

Amberley looked it over, raising a brow. "Are those Martian names?" She asked incredulously.

 

McKimson blinked. “...Yes. Ciaphas figured that they would serve as menial labor.”

 

"Indeed. I was just surprised to see Martian names on here, considering the Imperium has largely ignored their presence."

 

“They’re beneath notice?” Daffy suddenly appeared between them, causing McKimson to loudly curse.

 

“EMPEROR’S GOLDEN BALLSACKS, WHERE’D YOU COME FROM!?”

 

“Weeeell, when a mommy duck and a daddy duck love each other very much, or at the very least want to bang without protection…”

 

"You're lucky you weren't shot." Amberley said. "McKimson tends to shoot first and ask questions later."

 

“Remember last time, Inquisitor?” McKimson said.

 

"When I startled you, and you nearly blew my head off?"

 

“I was aiming for your tits, Inquisitor.” McKimson joked.

 

"So does Ciaphas." Amberley said dryly. "Except he uses a different weapon."

 

“That’s what she said.” Daffy interjected, McKimson giving him a quirked brow. “....You wouldn’t get it.”

 

They soon arrived at the ship. It was a small, nimble vessel, named The Emperor's Eye. Daffy immediately settled in the Captain’s chair, but not before noticing that someone was already sitting there: a large, muscled fellow, dressed in rather fancy military garb. “Ah, Commissar Cain!” McKimson greeted. “I trust you’re being accommodated well?”

 

"Ciaphas!" Amberley interjected, walking over to him. "It's been too long."

 

“Get out of my chair.” Daffy muttered under his breath, before he suddenly felt himself thrown off from Ciaphas getting up and embracing Amberley.

 

“I’ve missed you as well, Amberley. When I was told to accompany you on this…’mission’, I had no idea what to expect. Now, where is this new Captain I’ve been hearing about?”

 

“Right here…” Daffy said weakly, still trying to recover from the sudden impact of hitting the floor.

 

"He is...unusual." Amberley said, kissing Ciaphas' cheek. "In more ways than one."

 

“A lot like myself.” Ciaphas said. “It’s nice to meet you, Captain.”

 

“...Duck. Daffy Duck.” Immediately, Ciaphas burst out laughing. Hard. Amberley tried valiantly, but she couldn't resist joining him in laughter. “What? What’s so funny?” Daffy said bitterly. “It’s not like any of you have normal names, except McKimson over there.”

 

After composing herself, Amberley cleared her throat. "Apologies, Captain. Shall we disembark?" She asked, gesturing for him to sit in his chair.

 

“If you want. Me, I’m gonna go see if there’s a bathroom in this place. ..Where is it?”

 

“Down the hall, take a right. The lock is broken so knock.” McKimson informed. Daffy nodded and sped off.

 

“He’s unusual, isn’t he?” Ciaphas asked. “I like him already, though.”

 

Before Amberley could say a word, a scream echoed through the ship, followed by several laspistol shots. She winced. "Oh, dear. Rakel was using the bathroom." 

 

Daffy returned, his lower half blasted off and revealing the pink skin underneath his tail feathers, complete with tightey whiteys. “....I didn’t knock.” he admitted sheepishly.

 

"That was Rakel you just walked in on." Amberley said. "She's...a little insane."

 

“A little insane?” Ciaphas muttered. “That’s putting it lightly.”

 

Amberley turned to the bridge crew. "Prepare to disembark."

 

A few minutes later, they were in the air. Amberley turned to Ciaphas. "Commissar Cain, I think you and I have...important matters to discuss. Care to join me in my quarters?"

 

“Indeed.” Ciaphas said with a smirk. “A...debriefing, as it were.” And with that, the two of them disappeared from sight, leaving Daffy to finally be able to sit in his coveted captain’s chair.

 

Barely thirty seconds later, Rakel walked onto the bridge, glaring at Daffy and muttering, "Wretched bird."

 

“Look, I’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot, mmkay? How’s about we start over? Captain Daffy Sheldon Armando Horatio Tiberius Duck at your service, madame.”

 

Rakel looked at McKimson. "Can I pluck him?"

 

“Unfortunately not, Rakel. Sorry.” McKimson shrugged.

 

She frowned, before asking, "Do you have any chocolate? Riding the waves of other's minds is tiring."

 

“Chocolate? I think there’s some in the kitchens.” McKimson said, leading her away. With a sigh of relief, Daffy decided it was time for a nap.

 

Sometime later, Ciaphas and Amberley were doing some post-coital cuddling when the two of them heard soft mewling coming from between the bedsheets. Ciaphas pulled the blankets away to reveal a tiny black and white kitten. Chuckling, he scooped it up. “Oh, hello there little Pussyfoot. How did you get in here?”

 

“Mew!” the kitten responded happily.

 

"I didn't even know there were any cats aboard." Amberley said.

 

“She’s mine. Jenit Sulla gave her and her parents to me.” Ciaphas informed. “I tried telling her, ‘You know I have a pet already, and I certainly can’t give them to Amberley. The male cat will eat that little Tweety Bird of hers.’”

 

"In my spare time, I've taken to raising hawks." Amberley said. "But I can't do that aboard a ship, so this little bird will have to do." Ciaphas stared at the golden birdcage hanging above them, where the small yellow canary was happily swinging from his perch and humming. Amberley stretched, getting out of bed and putting on a robe.

 

"It's nice to be able to relax." She said, sitting in front of a mirror and beginning to brush her hair. "We don't get to do it often."

 

“We really don’t.” Ciaphas replied, slowly petting Pussyfoot and feeling the kitten purr in his hands. “I’m hoping we can stay out of the action for as long as possible with this assignment.”

 

Amberley nodded in agreement. "We should go make sure our new Captain hasn't gotten into any trouble." Ciaphas nodded, exiting the room and briefly making a detour to his own quarters, where he was rooming with his loyal right hand Fenrik Jurgen and his five pets - one dog (Marc Anthony) and three cats (Penelope, Sylvester, and their kittens Pussyfoot and Sylvester Jr.). Ciaphas walked in and gently put Pussyfoot on the floor, where she ran up to her mama joyfully. Marc Anthony, a large brown bulldog, almost tackled Ciaphas over in joy. Sylvester had been happily napping when he was woken by all the noise, irritably opening one eye and muttering, “Sufferin’ succatash, can’t a guy get his 40 winks around here?” (though no human could understand his speech). Slyvester Jr., a slightly older kitten and a spitting image of his father, was playing with a ball of yarn.

 

"Am I going to be babysitting them the whole time we're on this ship, Commissar?" Jurgen asked.

 

“We agreed to this earlier, Jurgen - yes.” Ciaphas answered. “Besides, they like you in spite of your odor...well, most of...wait, no. Only Pussyfoot likes you in spite of your odor.” Ciaphas stared at Sylvester. “Besides, I trust you to keep old Slyv here away from Amberley’s bird.” The tomcat ‘innocently’ looked at them; Ciaphas responded with his expression hardening.

 

Amberley walked in a moment later. "I have good news and bad news." She said. "The good news: The ship isn't on fire. The bad news: The Captain is nowhere to be found, and Rakel is walking around the ship with her laspistol, a knife, and a dangerous gleam in her eyes."

 

“Oh, Emperor dammit. Jurgen, come with me.” He then turned to Marc Anthony. “Keep watch, M.A..” The bulldog briefly saluted-yes, saluted-and sat, unmoving, by the doorway. Ciaphas followed Amberley, Jurgen not far behind. They found Rakel pacing around the kitchen, searching through drawers and cupboards. “Where is the Captain?” Ciaphas asked, using his ‘Commissar’ voice.

 

"Hiding." She said in reply. "I see him, but I don't know where he is. His mind is...cluttered. Full of thoughts. Wash over me like waves."

 

"Rakel." Amberley said gently. "Please, give me the knife."

 

Rakel did. The presence of Jurgen was making her twitchy. Amberley led her out of the room. 

 

"I know she is useful to the Inquisitor." Jurgen said. "But she's creepy."

 

“Some could say the same about you, Jurgen. No offense.”

 

Jurgen snorted and said, "None taken, Commissar."

 

Amberley, meanwhile, was searching for Daffy. She soon found him, in the Warp engine room, curled up on the ground and visibly shaking. His eyes were wide and bloodshot, and he was babbling nonsense, punctuated with an occasional ear-splitting “WOO-HOO, WOO-HOO, WOO-HOO!”

 

"Captain." She said. "It's me. You're safe."

 

“Tina…?” Daffy asked.

 

Amberley frowned. She had only thought in passing about how traumatizing this whole experience would be. "No." She said softly. "It's Amberley."

 

Daffy briefly snapped out of it. “A-Amberley? What’s going on? Where am I?”

 

"You're currently in the engine room. You were hiding from Rakel. Why did she attack you?"

 

“I was settling down for a nap in the captain’s chair. As I do, I see Rakel coming towards me...and then the rest is a blank.”

 

"Strange. Rakel is rarely violent. She can handle herself well in a fight, but it's unusual for her to try and murder someone unprovoked." Amberley replied.

 

“Any reason why she’d attack me like that? I mean, we got off on the wrong foot earlier, but still.”

 

"I will speak with her." Amberley said. "I'll be back in a few minutes. Stay here, and try to calm down a bit, alright?" 

 

She left, leaving Daffy alone. Well, almost alone. Yanbel, a tech priest in Amberley's retinue, was there as well, dutifully maintaining the Warp drive. The duck blinked and said, “Hey, cogboy. How’s it going?”

 

Yanbel sighed. "You've been hanging around McKimson, haven't you?"

 

“Yep.” Daffy said matter-of-factly.

 

The techpriest sighed again, returning to his work. “So, buddy, whaddya do around here?”

 

"I keep the Warp drive from failing." Yanbel said. "Among other things." Just as quickly as he’d asked, Daffy lost interest and began reading a porno slate he’d found on the ground. Amberley soon returned.

 

"Rakel said that she doesn't know why she went after you." She said. "Only that she felt a sudden burst of violent rage. She doesn't know the cause."

 

“Any reason I blacked out?”

 

"That is also a mystery."

 

“Hm. Got any psychiatrists?”

 

"Any what?"

 

“Shrinks. Head doctors.”

 

Amberley stared at him blankly. “...I need someone to talk to about my problems.” Daffy said, realizing that ‘psychiatry’ as a concept was long-dead.

 

"I see."

 

“Got anyone like that?”

 

"Me." She said.

 

“....Oh.” Daffy frowned slightly.

 

"Is that a problem?" She asked. "I have helped the people in my retinue work through their issues many times."

 

“...Let me be level with ya: I miss my friends. I didn’t ask to get frozen-well I did, but that isn’t the point, see. Point is, all my friends are dead.”

 

She nodded. "I thought as much. How long were you supposed to be asleep?"

 

Daffy tried to remember. “That,” he said, “Is gonna require me to go back to the very beginning.”

 

-------

 

To say that Daffy Duck was making a potentially stupid and/or dangerous decision for the sake of money was like saying water was wet. But this was probably the stupidest decision he was making, as far as Bugs Bunny was concerned. Daffy had recently gotten, in his emails, an offer to volunteer in a government cryogenics experiment - “Pays well,” the email read, “and provides beneficial research for humanity.”

 

“Sounds like a scam email. Or somethin’ containing malware. Or probably not what yer thinkin’, Daff.” Bugs said in his usual deadpan tone whenever he found out about Daffy’s latest moneymaking plan.

 

“Oh, phshaw. You wouldn’t know a new opportunity for cash if it bit you in the tail, rabbit.” Daffy said dismissively.

 

“Oh, really? Look, Daffy, all I’m sayin’ is to be careful, you might get more than ya bargained for.”

 

“Whatever you say! I’m gonna be rich, RICH I TELL YA!”

 

Not long afterwards, Daffy entered the building that the email said to arrive at. It was white-blinding white, actually-and sterile. Like a hospital. The doctor who’d met Daffy at the front office was fat, dressed in a labcoat with bright yellow latex gloves, with a mop of curly red hair. “Mr. Duck, this is Dr. IQ High. He’ll be overseeing you for this experiment.” his assistant informed. Daffy stared at the doctor before cracking his knuckles.

 

“Alrighty there, doc.” Daffy chuckled a bit; he was starting to sound more and more like Bugs every day. “Just tell me what I gotta do.” Probably just some blood tests or something, Daffy thought. “How long’s this gonna take? I have a meatball sub and fries waiting for me at Pizzariba.”

 

Dr. High chuckled. "I am afraid your food might be cold by the time the experiment is finished." He said. "Not too long, though, my feathered friend. Only a few hours. This experiment is simply a test to make sure my machine works."

 

Daffy blinked. “Y-your machine?”

 

"A state-of-the-art cryogenics pod, created for the purpose of putting whoever is inside into a state of suspended animation. In other words, it is meant to put them into a deep sleep, while also preventing them from aging."

 

Daffy looked at the pod - a stainless steel cylinder, chrome in coloration, a small glass door covering the majority of it. After running a few tests, IQ High’s assistant led him to the pod, where the door swung open. Daffy took a deep breath and entered, watching the door close and feeling the temperature from within drop quickly to below zero levels.

 

What was supposed to be a few hours turned into days, then months, then years, then centuries, and finally eons. When Daffy was finally released, the facility, hell, Warnerville itself, no longer existed, now it was but a single piece in the ever expanding hives of Holy Terra.

 

-----

 

By the time Daffy was finished, his voice was barely above a whisper. “...You wanna know something? This is the only thing I have left from all that time.” He retrieved a sheet of paper, apparently a letter, and gave it to Amberley. Evidently, Daffy had nothing nice to say about any of his neighbors; it was full of grievances both real and possibly imagined. Except, however, for the last paragraph: “I know I've said a lot of terrible things about a lot of terrible people. But I've saved the terrible-ist for my girlfriend Tina. I've known many deranged people in my life, but I've never encountered the kind of profound mental instability that she possesses. Tina Russo is a psychopath. She may have everyone else fooled, but I know the truth. Why else would the kindest, most beautiful, generous and intelligent woman in the world...go out with someone like me?"

 

"I'm sorry." Amberley whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder. Daffy turned to her, tears in his eyes.

 

“You barely know me. Why are you sorry?”

 

"I've lost people. People who were dear to me." Amberley said. "I've lost my home, too. I know your pain." Daffy pondered this for a few minutes, unsure of what to say. Finally, he placed a hand on Amberley’s shoulder in return.

 

“You know, I think we’re gonna be great friends already.”

 

“Me, too.” Amberley said, right before an alarm began blaring. She rushed up to the bridge, looking out one of the windows to see what was going on. Her eyes widened.

 

“By the Emperor…” She whispered. They were surrounded by a mass of ships, all of which almost looked...alive. “Tyranids…”

 

“Who the what now?” Daffy asked, bemused.

 

“Are the cloaking shields engaged?” Amberley asked aloud to the crew. She sounded terrified. "If that Hive Fleet detects us, we're dead."

 

“Yes, Inquisitor!” several Guardsmen confirmed.

 

"Tyranids are often referred to as 'the Great Devourer.'" Amberley said to Daffy. "They are hunger incarnate. Every world they encounter, they strip bare, leaving behind a lifeless rock. Their endless desire to feast is the only thing that motivates them, so there is no negotiation."

 

“What’re we gonna do!?” Daffy asked, absolutely terrified.

 

"Try to avoid being noticed." Amberley said. "If our cloaking shields hold, they shouldn't find us."

 

“.....You know, you shouldn’t say things like that. Bad things…” Daffy began, but was interrupted by sound of the shields falling. “...tend to happen after.” he finished, pupils shrunken and voice squeaking from terror.

 

"Oh, fuck." Amberley whispered, as several Tyranid ships changed course, heading towards them. Daffy proceeded to scream like a little girl and run. Amberley took the helm, and began trying to evade the Tyranids. She turned on the intercom. 

 

"Guardsmen, Sisters of Battle, to your battlestations." She said. In the ship's medbay, a Sister of the Orders Hospitaller, named Lucia, rose from her place by one of the windows, grabbing her personal bolter rifle and chain sword and heading for the door. Celeste, a fellow Sister, joined her.

 

"Tyranids. That means acid burns." Lucia said. "Things will get messy. Are you ready?"

 

“Ready as I’ll ever be. For glory and the Emperor and all that, yes?”

 

Lucia chuckled. "Indeed." And so, screaming the Emperor’s praises, the two of them charged into battle. Dozens of Tyranids poured into the vessel from the points where it had been snagged by the Hive ships. Amberley handed control of the ship over to one of the pilots before rushing to her quarters to don her armor. That left poor Daffy cowering behind a hastily made barricade of chairs and shelves. As he lay there trembling and muttering prayers to Elohim for a quick and hopefully merciful death, Daffy could see something creeping forward. It was big. Very big, and multilimbed, judging from the shadow it gave off.

 

This creature soon came into the light. It was massive, with a white and black carapace, towering over even the tallest of Guardsmen. It had four long, muscled arms, ending in clawed, bony hands, each of which held a sword. Its head, topped with a long, red crest, had jet-black eyes and a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth. This creature was known by many names: the Tyrantlord of the Hive Mind, the Herald of the Great Devourer and the Destroyer of the Kha'la Empire. To mankind, it was the Swarmlord, and anyone who saw it felt terror unlike anything they had ever felt before.

 

And now Daffy was alone with it. The duck, who had just moments ago been praying for his life, looked at the Swarmlord, his brain racing to find a solution. “L-listen, buddy, you don’t have to eat me, ya know.” he said, voice trembling even more than before. “I-I-I don’t have much meat on me anyway.” As if to demonstrate, Daffy ‘unzipped’ his feathers to reveal the same pink body underneath from earlier, only now horribly emaciated. “See? Now if you and all your little bug-friends just leave me and my crew in peace, we won’t have any trouble...c-c-c-c-c-capiche?”

 

The Swarmlord began approaching, before being intercepted by two Guardsmen. Their shots glanced off the creature's armor, before two of the swords it held flashed through the air, and their heads slid off and rolled across the floor. Daffy stared, slack-jawed; thinking quickly as the Swarmlord got closer, its mandibles drooling acid and burning small holes into the floor, he drew a large wooden mallet, about the size of his foe, and swung with all of his strength. The Swarmlord staggered, more out of surprise than pain. Before it could recover fully, Amberley, dressed in gleaming armor, entered, a whirring chainsword in hand. “Boy, oh boy, am I glad to see you!” Daffy said between hyperventilating gasps. “Now let’s skeedaddle before that thing kills us!” Taking a nearby laspistol for himself, Daffy bolted for the door. Amberley put on a helmet, shut the door, and contacted Yanbel, ordering him to open the airlock on the bridge. 

 

"Inquisitor, you'll be pulled out, too!"

 

"I know, Yanbel. But the Swarmlord is here."

 

"The Swarmlord?! By the Omnissiah...fine, as you command, Inquisitor."

 

The airlock opened, and both Amberley and the Swarmlord were pulled out into space. “NOOOOOOO!” Daffy screamed as he pounded on the door. “YOU CAN’T DO THIS, AMBERLEY! I’VE ONLY KNOWN YOU FOR BARELY A DAY, YET I FEEL LIKE I’VE KNOWN YOU FOR LONGER THAN THAT!” Silence was his only response.

 

The Tyranids continued to rush onto the ship, the defenders slaying dozens upon dozens of them, to the point that a barricade began to form out of the dead. Lucia moved among the Guardsmen and Sisters, treating wounds the best she could. She and Celeste found Daffy crying, laspistol still gripped tightly in his right hand. “We need to go.” Celeste urged him. “It isn’t safe for you here.”

 

“B-but Amberley…”

 

“Inquisitor Vail has faced worse things.” Celeste said bluntly. “Besides, you are not the only one saddened by her loss.”

 

"She always has a plan." Lucia added. "Come on. You'll be no help to her if you're dead." Daffy followed them reluctantly, keeping close to them (and his laspistol close to him). A few minutes later, a faint voice came over the comms of the ship's defenders. "Hello? Can anyone hear me?"

 

“Amberley?” Daffy spoke up hopefully. “That you!?”

 

"Yes." She replied. "I'm injured, but alive."

 

“Praise the Lord, Hallelujah! Where are you?” Daffy asked.

 

"Hanging off of one of the Tyranid hooks."

 

“Stay put. I’m gonna try and get you out of there.”

 

“You’re an idiot.” Celeste snarked. “You’re going to get yourself killed out there, and for what?”

 

“I’ll tell ya what -” Daffy spat back. “Amberley saved my life from that Swarmlord or whatever you call it. I owe it to her to save hers, and as Captain of this ship, I order you to stand down.”

 

“On whose authority?” Celeste replied, hands on her hips. “You have none, duck.”

 

“Actually,” a nearby voice, that of one Ciaphas Cain, said. “As a Rogue Trader, his authority is outside of the Imperium’s. So he can order you to stand down. And I say he should go.”

 

“Thanks.” Daffy said, before Amberley interrupted them.

 

"While you idiots were arguing, I managed to get over to one of the airlocks. Care to let me in?"

 

“Stealin’ my thunder….I was wanting an awesome action hero moment….” Daffy grumbled.

 

“This is no holodrama, duck.” Ciaphas informed him. “Talking is not a free action, and the world will not give you leeway so you can stage a big rescue. Now, where are your coordinates, Amberley?”

 

"Right behind you." She said, thumping her fist on the airlock in question.

 

“Oh.” Ciaphas said sheepishly, then turned to Daffy. “Get that for her, will you?” Daffy nodded, and after a bit of difficulty, managed to open the airlock. Amberley stumbled in, her armor covered in blood. Daffy and Ciaphas let out impressed whistles. She took a few more steps before falling to her knees, grunting. 

 

Celeste caught her, and said, “You need rest, Inquisitor.”

 

“B-but the Tyranids….” Ciaphas sputtered.

 

"They're no longer a problem." Amberley said. "I broke the hooks myself. Tell the bridge crew to...initiate a Warp jump."

 

“A who-what now?” Daffy asked.

 

"You'll see." She replied, leaning on Celeste as they walked to her quarters. Immediately, Daffy felt himself lurch backward, slamming into a wall; he then proceeded to vibrate and spasm, letting out several inhuman noises (a rooster’s crow, the sound of a horn) as his body briefly mutated into several forms - a flower-headed creature with a flag reading “SCREWBALL” in rebus, a photorealistic duck, a smaller, ‘cuter’ form, and then back to his regular form. Ciaphas and Lucia watched in horror, all the while Daffy was hollering and hooting like a madman. Purple sparks of what most might call electricity (but what those in the Imperium might call Warp energy) coursed through him. Ciaphas rashly shot him in an irrational panic, which only seemed to cause Daffy’s beak to turn around to the back of his head rather than kill him. When the Warp jump ceased, Daffy came out of his episode rather groggy, tiredly putting his beak back in place, he stared at the Commissar and Sister of Battle.

 

“....What? Do I have something on me?”

Spoiler

First appearances: Daffy Duck (main character), Amberley Vail (main), Ciaphas Cain (main), Lucia (supporting), Celeste (supporting), Yanbel (supporting), Fenrik Jurgen (supporting), Guardsman McKimson (supporting), Rakel (supporting), Jennit Sulla (mentioned) Tweety (recurring), Sylvester (recurring), Marc Anthony (recurring), Penelope Pussycat (recurring), Pussyfoot (recurring), Sylvester Jr. (recurring), Tyranids (antagonists), The Swarmlord (antagonist), Marvin and Tyr'hanee (antagonists, not named)

In this continuity, Marc Anthony, Sylvester (Sr. and Jr.), Penelope Pussycat, and Pussyfoot are all Ciaphas Cain's pets; Tweety is also Amberley's pet, and Sylvester is Penelope's mate and father to Pussyfoot and Sylvester Jr.

-"The Looney Tunes Show" is canon, and Daffy is frozen in 2014 (the year the show ended). Dr. IQ High is also the one who froze Daffy rather than discovering him.

-While it's never said why Daffy was chosen for the experiment, it's implied that due to his service as a Marine (see "Semper Lie"), he was selected due to his actions in rescuing prisoners of war)

-Daffy's home city is given a name: Warnerville.

-Martians are canon to this universe, but are a species beneath the Imperium's notice; Marvin and Tyr'hanee are currently onboard posing as menial labor on The Emperor's Eye.

 

[4EverGreen]

All right! It's time for another re-run, of "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" Enjoy! / Sniz is in the camera monitor room, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, it was a pirate themed challenge for our two teams, and they set out on a voyage to find the magically transported, Fountain of Youth. But as it turns out, the Killer Prawns had two BIG problems! Namely, Tigress' metaphorical GIGANTIC attitude, and Brittany Miller LITERALLY, growing gigantic! Tigress and Po foolishly TRIED to attack Brittany in her gigantic state, only to be EASILY thwarted in their efforts, and literally flung INTO the Fountain of Youth, both of them LITERALLY getting temporarily aged down to the age of nine for their efforts! OUCH! Thankfully for Brittany Miller and for everyone else, her gigantic status turned out to be only temporary. But unfortunately for everyone else, Tigress managed to find the Pendant of Life, for the THIRD time this season! I mean, that feline is like a Pendant of Life finding machine! So, it was due to that fact, that it ended up being Brittany Miller, facing elimination, for the second, and FINAL, time this season! That was quite a crazy challenge, and our upcoming challenge today, is bound to be an even CRAZIER one! Because not only do we have a COOL spy challenge lined up for today, we're officially saying GOOD-BYE to our two teams, and saying Hello, to the MERGED portion of our season! Who will prevail in this new set-up?! Will Tigress and Po be able to survive, DESPITE still being temporarily nine years old?! And will anyone else be able to FIND the Pendant of Life BESIDES Tigress?! Find out the answers to these intriguing questions, on today's action-packed episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! And by the way, I prefer my sodas FIZZY, not FLAT!" / Instead of the normal show open, a cool spy opening plays out, to the tune of a well-known Paul McCartney hit song, "Live and Let Die." Paul McCartney sings: "When you were young and your heart was an open book, you used to say 'Live and let live'. You know you did, you know you did, you know you did. But if this ever changing world in which we're living, makes you give in and cry; say, live and let die! Live and let die. Live and let die. Live and let die. (Instrumental solo) What does it matter to ya? When you got a job to do, you gotta do it well. You gotta give the other fellow hell! (Instrumental solo) When you were young and your heart was an open book, you used to say, 'Live and let live'. You know you did, you know you did, you know you did. But if this ever changing world in which we're living, makes you give in and cry; say live and let die! Live and let die. Live and let die. Live and let die." (Instrumental solo plays until the epic song ends!) / "Live and Let Merge: You're Only Young Twice!" /

The episode opens up properly, in Bubble Bass' cabin room. He is still dreaming, and thanks to the magic of Anti-Cosmo, we get to SEE what he is dreaming! In Bubble Bass' dream, he is in Mrs. Puff's Boating School for some reason, but he doesn't find THAT odd! What he DOES find odd, is that for some reason, he's wearing layers AND layers of clothing, and he feels ABSOLUTELY hot! Mrs. Puff says: "Welcome to another day of Boating School, class. And thanks to General Barracuda, another day of NO SPONGEBOB BEING IN THIS CLASS!!!! I'VE NEVER FELT SO ALIVE!!!! HA, HA, HA--OOPS! Sorry! Reflex! Anyways, I need a volunteer to give an example of, 'What NOT To Do At A Stoplight!' Why don't we go with...Bubble Bass?!" Bubble Bass says: "Me?! I'm not even sure why I'M here! I don't even know where to start!" Mrs. Puff says: "Just pick ANY example you can think of! I'm SURE it will be fine!" Bubble Bass says: "Okay. I'm sorry, but I feel like I've got to demonstrate right here and now, something you should probably NEVER do at a stoplight, or ANYWHERE in public, or I'll pass out from HEAT exhaustion!" And we cut away from looking at Bubble Bass, and looking at the class, as they stare towards Bubble Bass, but we see layer of LAYER of clothing being tossed on the ground towards them, ending with Bubble Bass' OWN regular clothing! It cuts BACK to Bubble Bass, who is COMPLETELY naked now, but no longer sweating heavily! Bubble Bass says: "WHEW! I feel MUCH better now!" But instead of REPULSION, everyone instead yells: "YEAH!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Woah! Who knew there were so MANY souls out there with SUCH bad taste?!" Mrs. Puff claps loudly, and she says: "Wonderful! Magnificent! That is the BEST example of what NOT to do at a stoplight I have EVER seen in my whole life!" / Bubble Bass SUDDENLY wakes up with a jolt, and he says: "Okay, on a scale from 1 to 10, that was the WEIRDEST, most BIZARRE dream, that didn't involve GRAVY, I have EVER experienced, in my ENTIRE life so far!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Even though I'm feeling more confident about myself, I guess that I'm still feeling a little bit...reluctant, to put myself completely OUT to the public, so to speak. Why ELSE would I even HAVE a dream like that?! I mean, do I really EXPECT that if I were to COMPLETELY embrace who I am, that everyone would ACCEPT me for that?! Even I'M not crazy enough to think that real life would work out THAT way! But, wouldn't it be kind of cool if it DID?! I mean, just THINK how much money I would save by NOT buying clothes! The only thing I can think of where that MIGHT work out, is if Blonda would be willing to move me to a clothing optional resort. But knowing how high BLONDA'S standards usually are, I think THAT'S probably going to be a HARD sell, unless I win this season, THAN she might be willing to consider, HOPEFULLY!" (End Confessional)

In Po's hotel room, the temporarily aged down Tigress, is staying with the temporarily aged down Po. Tigress says: "Thank you for letting me sleep in your room, Po. Master Shifu NEVER let me have sleep-overs when I was training with him!" Po says: "Technically speaking, I didn't either, but I think that's because most of the citizens in the Valley of Peace, KNEW of my big eater tendencies! But you know, the only reason I ate SO much, was BECAUSE I was a growing boy, and I NEEDED the nourishment!" Tigress says: "I certainly wouldn't fault you for that! I just think it SUCKS to find myself in such a LOUSY position right now!" Po asks: "What do you mean?" Tigress says: "Simple! Everyone BESIDES Bubble Bass AND you, HATES my guts, and they have every REASONABLE reason to DO so! I have treated them all HORRIBLY, all because I was big, strong, fast, and tough, so they couldn't DO anything about it, realistically! But now that I'm nine years old, everybody else is going to gang UP on me and vote me OFF! And I don't know if I currently HAVE the strength or abilities to STOP them from doing it!" Po says: "Tigress, you have my word, I would NEVER let ANYBODY else try to vote you off!" Tigress asks: "Do you REALLY mean that?!" Po says: "Of course I do! You've made some mistakes, but you don't HAVE to let those mistakes that DEFINE you! You can LEARN from your mistakes, and become all the BETTER for it! And the best part is, this time, you have the CHANCE to do it right, FROM the start! You've got to use ALL your Kung Fu skills to your absolute potential, and ENDEAR yourself to your fellow contestants, NOT endanger them!" Tigress says: "Endear myself...NOT sure if I can DO that!" Po says: "I can help you! I have LOTS of practice endearing myself!" Tigress says: "Thanks for the offer, but I think it's pretty much a moot point right now." Po asks: "Why do you think that?" Tigress says: "Simple! We're at the point where the two teams MERGE! If you think the contestants didn't like me BEFORE, they DEFINITELY have no reason to hold back on me now; especially now that I'm temporarily stuck in THIS shape! I'm feeling really vulnerable, in a way that I haven't for a LONG time! Po, we NEED to have a PLAN of some kind!" Po thinks about it, and he says: "Well, I have ONE plan that might work!" Tigress eagerly asks: "Really! What IS that?!" Po says: "You apologize!" And Tigress falls OVER in an Anime fashion! Tigress shouts: "APOLOGIZE?!!! Is that REALLY the MOST effective PLAN you can come up with?!" Po says: "For a panda who's temporarily nine years old, I think it's a pretty GREAT plan! Besides, how ELSE do you expect to get everyone back on YOUR side?! Just tell them that you're sorry for the things you've done, and that you're going to be more considerate to them in the future!" Tigress says: "Okay, there are two BIG problems with your theory!"

Po asks: "Really! And what would THOSE be?!" Tigress answers: "Okay! Number one: Tigress' DON'T apologize! Bubble Bass apologizes! Master Shifu apologizes! I'm pretty SURE even Master Viper apologizes! Tigress' by nature, do NOT apologize! Second, and MOST important, I NEVER LIE!!!! That is a SIN from my standpoint, and I will NOT stoop to common LYING! And I find it a LITTLE insulting that you would THINK that I would DO such a thing!" Po says: "So, you're saying you're not even going to TRY to save your own game?" Tigress says: "I'm saying that I'm not going to apologize, on the basis that I think it would be a WASTE of everybody's time! Even if I DID apologize, and I DID mean it, which I DON'T, NOBODY'S going to accept my apology! I mean, pretty much everyone else BESIDES Bubble Bass AND you, have tried to vote me off, even when they knew that I probably HAD the Pendant of Life on me! THAT'S how much they HATE me! They're willing to WASTE their votes, just to PROVE a POINT to me! So I'm NOT going to apologize!" Po says: "I see. And what would YOUR plan be, if it doesn't involve apologizing." Tigress says: "The same thing I've been doing ALL season, WIN! And if THAT doesn't work, find the Pendant of Life as my Ace in the hole!" Po asks: "And what if you CAN'T or DON'T find the Pendant of Life FIRST?! Besides, I thought you were suspicious about finding the Pendant of Life so often!" Tigress says: "Don't get me wrong, I DO find it suspicious! But I don't have any leads as to who would be GIVING me the Pendant of Life! Unless...are YOU giving them to me?!" Po says: "Tigress, if I HAD the Pendant of Life, YOU would be the FIRST to KNOW about it!" Tigress says: "Well, if YOU'RE not giving me the Pendant of Life, than who is?" Po thinks about it, and he says: "What about Anti-Cosmo?" Tigress says: "Anti-Cosmo?!" Po says: "Well, who ELSE would it be?! We already know Anti-Cosmo was trying desperately to turn Bubble Bass into a villain, and THAT didn't work! So when his Plan A, failed, he turned to Plan B! I mean, think about the Pendant of Life! I mean, SURE! It's BEEN protecting you! But after CONSISTENTLY being able to find it, AND hold onto it, haven't you noticed something about yourself? I mean, I don't think you can get something for NOTHING, you know!" Tigress gasps, and says: "It's the Pendant of LIFE!!!! Anti-Cosmo must be putting some sort of SPELL onto the Pendant of Life! I mean, I AM a little aggressive, I'll admit that! But it seems like whenever the Pendant of Life is in my paws, it amps up my aggression levels ten-fold! Anti-Cosmo MUST be doing it, because he WANTS a villain, even if that villain is ME! He's been tricking me, and USING me in his SICK little game! Well, I'm NOBODY'S puppet! If Anti-Cosmo thinks he's going to manipulate me into being a villain, he's got another thing coming! We are going to march up to him RIGHT now, and give him a piece of SOMEBODY'S mind, because NO ONE uses Tigress and comes out UNSCATHED! He is going to pay!"

But before Tigress can make good on her claim, the "Mission Impossible" theme plays over the loud-speakers, and Sniz says: "Attention, contestants! The time for relaxation is over! The time has come for the next EXCITING challenge! Meet me by the flagpole in the middle of the camp for more details! Sniz Brokowski, out!" Po says: "Looks like you're vendetta against Anti-Cosmo will have to wait! The next challenge is here!" Tigress says: "Not to worry. You know better than anyone that I can hold a grudge for as LONG as I need to! And Po, promise me RIGHT now that if you find the Pendant of Life, no matter how much I beg, and plead, and cry, do NOT give me the Pendant of Life! I can't afford another fit of aggression like the one I had against Brittany Miller! Agreed?!" Po nods his head, and says: "Agreed! I won't tell ANYONE that I found the Pendant of Life! I'll take it to the grave if I need to! Hopefully, it won't have to come to that!" Tigress says: "Good! Let's go!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "The one major drawback to being such a stubborn, headstrong feline, is that it's very difficult for me to accept, that there ARE some types out there, who can figure out a way to take ADVANTAGE of my nature! Apparently, Anti-Cosmo is such a type! Well, he's going to be in for a RUDE awakening! Because if he thought that I was tough as a potential bad guy, he's going to be in for a WORLD of hurt, when he's beaten by a GOOD guy...Tigress, girl! Tigress is BACK in the good guys side, and I'm GOING to stay there, no matter WHAT it takes!" / Po says: "Personally, I'm all FOR the idea of teaching Anti-Cosmo a lesson! I just hope Tigress has a plan, for what to do when she FACES him! Because, I certainly can't think of a good plan at the moment!" (End Confessional) The contestants run out to the flag pole, and meet up with Sniz, who's currently dressed up as super cool, super SEXY spy! Johnny Krill says: "Wow! I didn't know the Sean Connery convention was in town!" Sniz says: "It isn't! The name's Sniz! Sniz...Brokowski! And today, is the super cool, super awesome, super magnificent SPY challenge!" Kowalski says: "A SPY challenge?! We are GOING to--!!" Private CLAPS his flippers over Kowalski's beak, and says: "Kowalski, don't you DARE say anything more! Now, I know by all RIGHTS, spying IS our strong suit, and by all logical reasoning, it SHOULD be a simple challenge! But, it is a simple known fact, that you can NEVER, EVER, no matter what, CLAIM a preemptive victory, or you are always, Always, ALWAYS, GOING to LOSE!!!!" Kowalski says: "But--." Private says: "ALWAYS!!!!" Kowalski sighs, and says: "We are maybe, going to face a challenge, that may or may NOT be difficult, and which we may or may not win immunity. Is that more accurate." Private says: "MUCH better! Thank you for NOT jinxing anything!" (Confessional) Kowalski says: "Nothing in my clipboard suggests the possibility of losing in this scenario! What does Private see that I don't? Surely, I've covered every angle I can POSSIBLY think of! But what about every angle PRIVATE can think of?!" /

Private says: "Kowalski IS smart! He's the SMARTEST penguin I know! But, he's overlooking the Tigress factor! Being temporarily aged down to NINE, isn't going to stop her from going all out, and trying to stop us from WINNING the challenge! She's a competitive NUT, and she HATES anybody that she thinks could be SMARTER than her! Kowalski has to WATCH his beak around her! If not for HIS sake, than for mine! We've worked HARD to get here, and we CAN'T afford to jeopardize our positions now, especially not with the prize that is currently at stake!" / Johnny Krill says: "All I know is, if I had the $1.4 million grand prize, I would be able to buy SO much steak!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Kowalksi IS right! This IS a spy challenge, and the odds are CERTAINLY going to be challenging, for YOU! Here's how it's going to work! The contestants will be magically sent to Petropolis, home of Verminious J. Snaptrap, to infiltrate his secret lair, retrieve the blueprints for his top secret Death Ray weapon...thingy, and return it to T.U.F.F. headquarters! There's sure to be plenty of dangerous robot guards about, and lots of spy type traps! So, you will need to be equipped with the patented T.U.F.F. Spy Gear, for all your espionage needs! Oh, and one more thing. You no longer need to worry about sleeping in cabins, OR about the team structures! Because, as of right now, the two teams are no more! It's every contestant for themselves! Makes it more fun that way! From now on, the contestant that wins each challenge, along with a guest of their choice, will get to stay in the LUXURY Suite room, the BEST room in the entire hotel! The other contestants, will have to make do with the REGULAR hotel rooms! And as always, whoever doesn't win immunity, will be at the mercy of an Elimination Ceremony. Unless they have a Pendant of Life, of course!" And everyone IMMEDIATELY glares at Tigress! Tigress says: "Don't look at me! It's only been like...five minutes! I couldn't POSSIBLY have the Pendant of Life YET, ANTI-COSMO!!!!" Anti-Cosmo appears, and he says: "Did someone call my name?!" Tigress says: "Don't even TRY that 'Innocent' act around ME, mister! You've been CURSING the Pendant of Life with some kind of Aggression spell, to make whoever HOLDS the Pendant of Live, be filled with aggression FAR above what is NORMAL for them, in order to make it easier for them to do potentially stupid and EVIL things, just so YOU can have a VILLAIN this season! I'm ONTO, mister!" Anti-Cosmo chuckles nervously, and he says: "I have, NO, idea what she's TALKING about! Curse; ME?! Do you think I would STOOP so low?" Po says: "Yes! And since I have no qualms about racking up penalty votes, lest you FORGET the Zarbon example from LAST season, I suggest you come clean now! Because even though I'm still only nine at the moment, I'm pretty SURE I can put a world of HURT on you!" Anti-Cosmo sighs in defeat, and says: "Fine! You got me! I've been cursing the Pendant of Life to make you angry! Now, are you SATISFIED?!"

Jenny says: "No; just disappointed! Bad enough you have to CURSE the Pendant of Life, but where do you get off, constantly GIVING it to Tigress?! You KNOW she already HAS an anger problem!" Anti-Cosmo says: "Precisely! Since Bubble Bass wouldn't SUCCUMB to humiliation and my trying to DEGRADE his self-esteem, I needed someone ELSE to goad into becoming the villain! Tigress fit that bill PERFECTLY! Who else would be SO willing, to ALIENATE everyone else in the game?!" Tigress angrily says: "So help me, when I'm THROUGH with you, I'll make you life a living NIGHTMARE!!!!" Anti-Cosmo says: "You're going to play by the RULES, and you're GOING to LIKE it! Just because I made you be MORE aggressive than normal, that STILL doesn't CHANGE who you are! You are a fool, telling a tale, filled with rage and fury, which SIGNIFIES NOTHING!!!! You didn't NEED much help into becoming the BAD guy THIS season! All you needed, was ONE little push! And it's too late for you to turn back now, FAR too late!" Tigress says: "You're WRONG! I'm no longer going to COLLECT the Pendant of Life! You can't manipulate me, if I REFUSE to play your game!" Anti-Cosmo says: "But what about all the OTHER contestants? Do you think THEY can resist the lure of FREE immunity like you 'CLAIM' you can do?" Tigress says: "What are you talking about?" Anti-Cosmo says: "Oh, so you HAVEN'T guessed my true goal for this season! Well, since you already figured out SO much, allow me to fill in the caps! I have cursed the Pendant of Life, to make sure that ANY contestant who finds it and uses it, has their aggression amplified ten fold; NOT just you Tigress! And while you may be willing to RESTRAIN yourself under the BEST of circumstances thanks to your Kung Fu training, everyone else BESIDES Po has NOT received such training! And while you MAY have standards that you WON'T cross, you have NO idea if the other contestants DO! So, my question to you is, are you WILLING to take the chance, that your fellow contestants wouldn't HURT a child, like YOU?!!!" Tigress gasps, and she says: "You wouldn't DARE!!!!" Anti-Cosmo says: "Try me!" Tigress' fists shake with rage, and she says: "Fine! I'll find your STUPID Pendant of Life first! But just know this; you may have put me into this position, but I SWEAR I'm going to find a way out of it! And when I do--!" Anti-Cosmo says: "I know! You're going to beat the SNOT out of me! Good luck with THAT! I FEAR you are DESTINED to fail!" Tigress says: "The word 'Fail', is NOT in my vocabulary! So there!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "The other contestants may not realize this, but I'm doing everybody a HUGE favor! I'm 'Taking the bullet', or the Curse in this case, for them! If Anti-Cosmo wants to make me the villain, FINE! At least, I KNOW that I can TAKE the punishment, no matter WHAT he tries! But when it's over...KER-LECH!!!! Good-bye, Anti-Cosmo!" / Po says: "Well, Anti-Cosmo certainly isn't STUPID! He's smarter than we thought! It's going to be harder than we thought it would be, to deal with him!" /

Bubble Bass says: "I always thought that there HAD to be a rational explanation for why Tigress was acting MORE aggressive than usual; it was all Anti-Cosmo's doing! In retrospect, I'm GLAD that I haven't been finding the Pendants of Life NOW, especially now that I know that Anti-Cosmo HAS been cursing them! I just hope Tigress is as resilient as she says she is! She can certainly use ALL the resilience she can get!" / Jenny says: "Anti-Cosmo is playing with fire by trying to manipulate Tigress! And sooner or later, when you play with fire, you're inevitably going to get burned! As a robotic superhero, I consider it my duty to take care of ANY threats; no matter HOW super-natural or filled with magic they might be!" / Kowalski says: "It's a good thing Private STOPPED me when he did! I certainly didn't anticipate the possibility that the Pendant of Life was being cursed! This could complicate our chances of survival, especially if Tigress FINDS it AGAIN, like she SAYS that she's going to! If she finds it again, that could be the end for ALL of us! I must do whatever it TAKES to keep Private safe! If Tigress WANTS that Pendant of Life, she's going to have to go through ME first, and I will NOT make it EASY for her!" / Private says: "I'm sure Kowalski has already made a vow to protect me! I just hope he has a plan to minimize any possible damage, because Tigress will NOT be playing with kid gloves!" / Johnny Krill says: "So, the Pendant of Life FILLS you with aggression, and OBVIOUSLY, amplified strength! Just look at what TIGRESS has been doing, ever since she has been USING the Pendant of Life! She wouldn't be so TOUGH without the Pendant of Life! If I HAD the Pendant of Life, I'D be the one calling ALL the shots, and Tigress would have to ask ME for protection for a change! I'm SICK of taking orders from HER!!!! It's time for a change of POWER structure around here! I'm going to make Tigress PAY for all the DEGRADING things she has DONE to me! She may have spent all her time 'Kicking the Dog', or Prawn, in this case! But she's soon going to find out, that the Prawn, is about to bite BACK, and he's going to bite HARD!!!!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Anti-Cosmo, you're on THIN ice! This is your second MAJOR infraction this season! You better not MAKE any more, or it WILL be your LAST!" Anti-Cosmo sarcastically says: "Ooh, I'm SO scared! Which you gonna do, fire ME?! We all know THAT'S not going to happen! You NEED my magic! Otherwise, you'd have NO ONE to provide all these cool challenges for you, and you KNOW it, to!" Fondue says: "Ooh, he's got you THERE, Sniz!" Sniz says: "Touche. Fortunately, I have an ACE up my sleeve! General Barracuda?" General Barracuda steps in, and says: "How DARE you mess up with MY honeymoon?! I was busy vacationing with Bonnie in the Bahamas, when you had to BUTT in and ruin my vacation! Well, you better poof everyone to Petropolis RIGHT now, if you WANT to keep your PRETTY face!"

Anti-Cosmo gulps nervously, and says: "Very well! Everyone, you have one hour to complete your mission! If no one gets the blueprints, we'll go to a tie-breaker question. Hopefully, it won't come to that. At the end of one hour, you will automatically be poofed back here. So, no pressure! I hope you enjoy yourselves! I have a sinking feeling that I sure WON'T!" Anti-Cosmo waves his wand, and the contestants are warped to Petropolis! Sniz says: "And our contestants are now in Petropolis! What kinds of dangers will they find in Snaptrap's lair? Who will find the CURSED Pendant of Life first?! And HOW will General Barracuda PUNISH Anti-Cosmo THIS time?!" General Barracuda chuckles, and he says: "I can think of SEVEN ways, right off the top of my head!" Sniz says: "Find out the answers to these questions when we come back, on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" Anti-Cosmo poofs a FULL set of eye-glasses over himself, and he says: "You wouldn't DARE hit a guy with glasses on, would you?!" General Barracuda GRABS the eyeglasses, and HITS Anti-Cosmo WITH the eyeglasses! Anti-Cosmo says: "Oh; you hit a guy WITH glasses! That's...actually well-played." / (Commercial Break) / The commercials end, and the action focuses on Marlene, in the camera monitor room. Marlene says: "Hi, it's me again! And I've GOT to talk about my agent about getting my appearances in THESE episodes, sooner rather than later! In any case, the contestants have just been transported to Petropolis, in front of the brand new D.O.O.M., lair, where they are sure to find plenty of traps and dangers hidden within the fortress! Let's watch and see!" / The camera switches to the contestants, now standing in front of the new D.O.O.M., lair. Po says: "Dudley never told ME that Verminous J. Snaptrap had a lair THIS fancy!" Bubble Bass says: "I guess the rat has been BUSY targeting places far AWAY from the T.U.F.F. agency, in order to keep Dudley, Kitty, Keswick, and Chameleon from catching him!" Tigress says: "Not to mention the fact, that he's only doing this to impress Angelica! What does SHE see in HIM?!" Kowalski says: "Maybe it's NOT what she sees, it's what she KNOWS about him! After all, while Snaptrap isn't EXCEPTIONALLY skilled as a villain, he does have some TACTICAL knowledge that can come in pretty handy during the right moments! Not that it would EVER come close to MY level of knowledge, of course!"

Private says: "What I still don't know is, where should we enter the place? The blue-prints for the Death Ray...thingy, could be ANYWHERE!" Johnny Krill says: "That's for YOU to figure out! The teams are FINISHED, remember! Besides, it's time that a REAL leader takes charge of this game!" Tigress sarcastically says: "Oh, SURE!!!! NOW you're a real leader, as IF!!!!" Johnny Krill angrily says: "Don't TOY with me, TIGRESS!!!! I have gotten REALLY sick of your LOUSY attitude, and your REPULSIVE personality! And don't think that just because you're nine, OR a girl, that I'm going to go EASY on you! You have had this coming for a LONG time, Tigress! YOU pushed me into this, and now I'm going to PUSH back! You wanted ME to be aggressive? Well, WISH granted! And I'm going to be aggressive to you TO, Tigress! How do you THINK you can compete against THAT?!" And Tigress just gulps nervously! (Confessional)

The young Tigress breathes into a paper bag, puts the paper bag away, and speaks nervously: "What have I DONE?!!! This is ALL my FAULT! If I had just LISTENED to Katarra in the FIRST place, this wouldn't...why does NOTHING ever work out the way I PLAN?!!! Well, I don't CARE how I got into this MESS, I am GOING to get out of it! And when I BEAT Johnny Krill OUT of this game, he's going to WISH he never met ME!" / Johnny Krill says: "It's WAY too late for ME to wish that I NEVER met Tigress! And it felt SO good taking down Tigress like that! Payback's a female dog, isn't it, Tigress?!" / Bubble Bass says: "I seriously, cannot believe the weirdness of everything. Starting this game, everyone else thought that I was going to be the MEAN member of my alliance this season, only for ME to quickly become the NICE one, and Tigress to become the MEAN one! Now that Tigress DOESN'T want to be the mean member anymore, now Johnny Krill, of ALL contestants, DOES want to become the MEAN member of my alliance! How did I become the 'Token Good Team-mate' of my alliance ANYWAYS?! I guess it's a weird bit of karma, I guess. Either that, or maybe I feel a little bit guilty for not giving more of my jewels to Larry way back in the first episode! Well, I'm going to make a promise. If I win, I'll give another portion of my winnings to help Larry, and everyone in Bikini Bottom. Maybe that will help make my DREAMS, stop being so weird!" / Po says: "I feel so BAD for Tigress! Yes, she MADE a mistake to mistreat Johnny Krill, and I think she clearly realizes that she did a LOUSY thing by doing so! But that DOESN'T give Johnny Krill the excuse to FREAK OUT like a JERK and try to threaten her! I've got to protect her somehow! If not for her sake, than for MY sake, and Master Shifu's!" (End Confessional) Johnny Krill says: "Now, stand aside, lightweights, and watch the REAL champion of this season, win it all!" And Tigress just looks flabbergasted! (Confessional) Tigress says: "WOW!!!! Did I sound THAT egotistical and POMPOUS when I was playing the 'Toughness' card?! Why didn't somebody TELL me that I was sounding SO stupid?! Well...if somebody DID, it's clear that I once again, didn't listen to it in my ARROGANCE! I've REALLY got to get some therapy once this season is over!" / Johnny Krill says: "Trying to PRETEND to be Tigress' so-called 'Friend' and cohort, was holding me back! Now, I don't have to hold back anything anymore, and I can go ALL out, from here on out!" (End Confessional) Johnny Krill says: "Let's get DANGEROUS!!!!" And Johnny runs up to the front door, and Private says: "Johnny, WAIT!!!!" But Johnny doesn't hear it, and kicks DOWN the front door, and is immediately ZERG-rushed by a bunch of silver robots, designed to look like Snaptrap, that Johnny has to begin fighting off! Po says: "Well, we can't go THAT way, NOW what are we going to do?!"

Jenny says: "Well, I don't know about YOU, but as for me, I can FLY!" And Jenny rockets off, and begins using her eye-scanners, to detect the best way into the fortress! Private says: "We better get going to, Kowalski!" Kowalski says: "Indeed! Those high-wall air-conditioning vents overhead should be spacious enough for us! Luckily, we have these spy grappling hooks, to help us ascend to those vents!" And Kowalski and Private BOTH begin to ascend to the vents! Tigress says: "Po, what are we going to do?!" Po says: "Don't worry, a Kung Fu master ALWAYS finds a way! Maybe there's an opening somewhere, low on the ground! Come follow me!" And Po runs around the building to the left, and Tigress follows him! Than Po suddenly stops, and Tigress accidentally runs INTO him! Tigress says: "Sorry! I still haven't fully regained my stopping skills, yet!" Po says: "That's okay! I found our point of entry! A low window, obviously into an underground lair! You better go in FIRST, Tigress! After all, I think the effects of the Fountain of Youth will wear off soon, and if they do, you can STILL probably squeeze through some tight spaces, whereas it would be hard for ME to do so!" Tigress happily says: "Po, I LOVE YOU!!!!" And Tigress kisses Po on the lips! Tigress says: "This means SO much to me, because I know now, that you respect me!" Po says: "Technically, I always have! But I'm glad that you now realize this, to!" (Confessional) Po says: "Technically speaking, because I'm technically NINE right now, this marks the FIRST time I've ever been kissed by Tigress! It was WONDERFUL!" / Tigress says: "I was feeling apprehensive about my whole situation; with Johnny Krill turning on me and everything. But with Po still by my side, I don't feel so afraid anymore. I KNOW I can pull through this! I just have to BELIEVE in myself!" (End Confessional) Po opens the window, and says: "Go, Tigress! You're only young TWICE! See what I did there? I just did a title drop!" Tigress says: "Clever! Now, let's go!" Tigress goes into the basement, and Po quickly follows, but they are quickly stopped by Bird Brain, and a bunch of bird shaped drones! Po says: "Bird Brain?! What are YOU doing here?! You're not a member of D.O.O.M.!" Bird Brain says: "True enough, but I always come here on D.O.O.M.'s pizza night Sundays, where we play Backgammon, Monopoly, and any other kind of game that we can think of! Thanks to me no longer investing money into STUPID one-joke lackeys, I have managed to fund my resources into something much more resourceful! These drones, while small, contain some DANGEROUS fire-power! You would be STUPID to try to fight them all!" Tigress says: "Or incredibly gifted! Po, how many do YOU want to take?!" Po asks: "How many are there?" Tigress looks at all of them, and says: "50!" Po says: "Than half!" Tigress says: "I LIKE fighting with YOU already!" /

Bubble Bass is thinking his options over, and he says: "Okay, how am I going to approach this? Flying is out, there's no way I can fit through a tiny window, or the over-head vents, and going through the front door would be tactical suicide! But I've GOT to get into the D.O.O.M. Lair, somehow!" Than Bubble Bass gets an energy saving light bulb over his head, and he says: "I've got an idea! And it just might WORK!!!!" / Bubble Bass is at the back door to the D.O.O.M. Lair, dressed up in a Pizza uniform, holding four boxes of Pizza, and a two-liter bottle of soda. Bubble Bass rings the door bell, and in his best Italian accent, yells: "Pizza delivery!!!!" Ollie answers the door, and he says: "Wonderful timing! We just ran out of our FIRST order of pizza, but we thought you were going to be longer!" Bubble Bass is SURPRISED by the contrived coincidence of the whole thing, but decides to roll with it, and he says: "Well, we're nothing short of efficient! So, how are you going to pay me?" Ollie looks away to look for his wallet, and he says: "I think I've got a few COUNTERFEITED Benjamin's in here..." (KONK!!!!) And Bubble Bass knocks Ollie out with the two-liter bottle of soda! Francisco rushes in, and he says: "Ollie! What did YOU do to my partner?!" Bubble Bass DROPS the accent, and in his normal voice, says: "Something like THIS!!!!" And he throws the boxes of pizza at Francisco, and they all open up, and the HOT pizza FALLS onto Francisco! Francisco yells: "AHHH!!!! HOT PIZZA!!!! It's burning HOLES in ME!!!! And it's PINEAPPLE! I'm ALLERGIC to PINEAPPLE!!!! AHHH!!!!" And he runs away! Bubble Bass says: "That worked out surprisingly well. Now, time to find the blue-prints!" / Jenny is still scanning, until she finds something! Jenny says: "Ah-hah! By my scanners, the blue-prints should be right in Snaptrap's penthouse suite, on the top floor! I always DO like to make an entrance! Let's see how Snaptrap likes my steel DRILL!!!!" And Jenny's left arm changes into a drill, and she DRILLS through a skylight window, straight into what appears to be a gigantic HALL of mirrors! Jenny says: "WOAH! I wasn't expecting THIS!!!!" And Snaptrap's image, suddenly appears on ALL the mirrors! Snaptrap says: "Congratulations, Jenny! You found ME! And in record time, to! But which ONE of me, is the REAL Snaptrap, and NOT just a reflection on a mirror?! Choose wisely, because the REAL me will DISINTEGRATE you into molecules!" Jenny sighs, and says: "Amateur! Let me show you how I do it!" Jenny equips herself with a laser gun, chooses the BEST trajectory, and FIRES a shot which RICOCHETS off all the mirrors, until it EVENTUALLY hits the REAL Snaptrap at the FAR end! Snaptrap jumps into clear view, and yells: "OUCH!!!! That HURT, you JERK!!!!" Jenny says: "It was kind of supposed to! No more smoke and mirrors, Snaptrap!" Snaptrap says: "So you FOUND me, but you will never CATCH me! Ha, HA!!!!" And Snaptrap runs through a brown door at the far end! Jenny says: "We'll just see about THAT!"

And Jenny flies in pursuit of Snaptrap, opens the door, and is SURPRISED to find herself, seemingly floating in black outer space! Jenny says: "Huh? What's up with THIS?!" Snaptrap's voice echoes through the void, and he says: "Welcome to round TWO! I didn't want to have to do THIS, but I'm going to show you my TRUE form! Feast upon the ultimate FORM of evolution, and get a load of me, NOW!!!!" And a giant GREEN alien, appears in the center of the void! And begins shooting volts of electricity at Jenny! Jenny says: "Sheesh! I wasn't expecting THIS, but I'm NOT going to let it stop me! Now think; in a situation like this, what would Mega Man do? He would use what would SEEM like the most USELESS tool he has on hand, and use it AGAINST the final boss! So, what's the most seemingly useless tool that I have?!" Jenny looks through her data banks, while dodging the volts, and she spots something! Jenny says: "THAT should do it! The bubble blast!" Jenny equips a BIG bubble wand, in front of an arm cannon, and Jenny says: "All right, WHATEVER you are, prepare to be BLOWN away!" And Jenny starts SHOOTING bubbles at the alien, and sure enough, it begins to SCREAM in loud pain! Jenny says: "Called it! And as soon as I'm finished with YOU, I'm going to FIND those Blueprints!" / Meanwhile, despite Birdbrain's drones doing their best, they are no match for Po and Tigress, and are quickly SMASHED to pieces! Tigress says: "Did you REALLY think those drones will stop us? You clearly don't KNOW us very well, do you?" Birdbrain says: "You may have stopped me THIS time, but I will be back ANOTHER time! And when I come--!" Po says: "Talk to the FIST!!!!" And Po throws a HAYMAKER at Birdbrain's face, and knocks him out, cold! Tigress says: "Nice punch, Po!" Po says: "Thank you! Come to think of it, that might TECHNICALLY qualify as the first punch I've ever thrown, due to my age! Now, let's find those blueprints together!" Tigress says: "Thank you, Po; you're the best!" Po says: "Well, I certainly try to be!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "If we had more time, we would've called T.U.F.F., and asked Dudley and/or Kitty to come arrest Birdbrain. But we already SPENT fifteen minutes fighting those drones, and we didn't have anymore time to waste! We'll call T.U.F.F., AFTER we're done, and have them sort out everything THEN!" / Po says: "Tigress certainly could've used a friend and partner like me the FIRST time she was young! Thankfully, she certainly has that partner now! I would do ANYTHING for her, as long as it's legal and moral, of course!" (End Confessional) The penguins are making their way through the vents, and Private says: "This sure is taking a long time, Kowalski! Are you SURE you know where we are GOING?!" Kowalski says: "Patience, Private. I'll know the room we need to enter into once I see it." Then Kowalski gasps, and he says: "And I think I just found it!" Private asks: "Where?!"

Kowalski says: "I'll show you!" Kowalski careens Private's head down, to look down through an air vent entrance, and they see the set of blue prints for the Death Ray...thingy, right below them! Kowalski says: "See? It's right below us!" Private says: "Kowalski, I'm sorry I ever doubted you!" Kowalski says: "It's IMPORTANT that you doubted me! After all, if I didn't have you to question my methods, I would NEVER double-check them, to make sure whether or not I was right or wrong about something! It's IMPORTANT for you to ask questions! Asking questions, is how you learn! So, always remember this Private! Even if the unthinkable happens, and I get eliminated, NEVER stop asking questions!" Private says: "All right, Kowalski! I promise, I won't stop asking questions!" (Confessional) Kowalski says: "That piece of information was the LAST thing I could teach Private! From here on out, everything that Private learns, will be on his own! I've helped him this far, now he needs to help himself the rest of the way! It won't be long before THAT needs to happen, if my calculations are correct!" / Private says: "Right now, I'm not sure what to think. I know Kowalski is PROUD of me for having come so far, in a relatively short amount of time. But from the way he's talking, he's acting like he doesn't HAVE much time left in the competition. Is he THAT worried about Tigress?! I sure hope Kowalski knows what he's doing!" (End Confessional) Kowalski says: "That blueprint is probably surrounded by lasers! Give me that hairspray can, so we can check!" Private rummages through his T.U.F.F. Bag, and he says: "Found it!" Private hands the hairspray can to Kowalski. Kowalski shakes it up, sprays the hairspray can. And sure enough, a field of lasers is situated RIGHT in the middle of the room! Kowalski says: "Just as I thought. I'll have to shimmy you down, so you can collect the blueprints!" Private says: "But Kowalski, this is the FIRST challenge of the merged portion! Whoever wins the first challenge of the MERGED portion of the game, almost NEVER wins the Final Two or Three at the END of the game!" Kowalski says: "But we have no real CHOICE! If one of us doesn't win it, Tigress certainly WILL!!!!" Johnny Krill shouts: "You mean, I WILL, wherever YOU are!!!!" And BOTH of the penguins are SHOCKED, and they fall RIGHT through the vent, TOUCHING the lasers, and setting off the alarm! Kowalski says: "Now you've DONE it! Are you SATISFIED?!" Johnny Krill is standing right in the doorway into the room, and he says: "Very! You have no idea how many robots I had to thrash, just to get here! But all my strength and planning has paid off! And how ironic it is, that you THOUGHT it would be Tigress that you would have to worry about, when all along, you should have been worried about ME, because I'M taking control of this game, NOW!!!!" Tigress shouts: "Give it UP, Johnny!" Po and Tigress appear in another doorway, and Po says: "You will NEVER stop Tigress, not as long as I'M around!"

Johnny says: "How helpful it is for me to HEAR that! It's a problem I should RECTIFY right NOW!!!!" Bubble Bass shouts: "Johnny, STOP!!!!" And Johnny stops dead in his tracks, and he shouts: "Bubble Bass, you're HERE?! I'm SHOCKED!" Bubble Bass says: "You shouldn't be! After all, I can be VERY athletic, given the right incentive! And I DON'T approve of YOU hurting a child!" Johnny says: "She's not a child, she's TIGRESS! Two TOTALLY different things!" Bubble Bass says: "Maybe so, but you're forgetting ONE important detail! Without the Pendant of Life, if you HARM Tigress, those Penalty Votes WILL count against you! And you have just ALIENATED all of us, in trying to reach your goal! Instead of trying to SUPPLANT Tigress, you just SHIFTED the target from Tigress, onto YOURSELF! How are you going to get yourself out of THAT mess, HUH?!" Johnny says: "Oh, I have ONE idea in mind! If ANY of you step ONE foot CLOSER to the Blueprints, I'll GRAB them, and TEAR it up to PIECES! If I can't win this challenge, than NOBODY can!" Kowalski gasps, and he says: "You're BLUFFING!!!!" Johnny says: "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. It's really HARD to tell with me, given how I've been 'Obfuscating stupidity' until now. But can you REALLY afford to TAKE that CHANCE?!" Snaptrap screams: "NO!!!!" And an EXPLOSION blasts through the walls, and in slow-motion, Snaptrap is thrown INTO Johnny Krill, who collides and HITS Kowalski, and all THREE of them slam into the wall in the FAR end, and Johnny's claw SMASHES into a Fire Alarm Panel, and in the Fire Alarm Panel, out comes FLYING the Pendant of Life, and Tigress JUMPS for it! But as she does, the Fountain of Youth effect suddenly WEARS off on BOTH her and Po, and she manages to CATCH it in her now adult paws, before Jenny can fly in, and get it for herself! The action resumes to normal speed, and she says: "I've got it! I've got the Pendant of Life!" Bubble Bass says: "Jenny, what happened?!" Jenny says: "Snaptrap was trying to pull the old, 'Mega Man 2', fake-alien bit on me. Needless to say, I wasn't FOOLED for one minute! That explosion was just Snaptrap's machine, running out of energy, and exploding!" Tigress shouts: "Bubble Bass, grab the blueprints!" Bubble Bass asks: "Really, why?" Tigress says: "Because we can't let Johnny have it! Now do it!" Bubble Bass says: "I hope you have a plan in mind!" And Bubble Bass grabs the blueprints, and makes for the exit! Tigress says: "It's over now, Johnny! You tried to mess with me, and now you'll pay the price!" Johnny says: "Oh, I won't PAY the price! Kowalski WILL!!!!" And Johnny HOLDS the weakened Kowalski in his hands! Johnny says: "Hand the Pendant of Life to ME, and VOTE as I say, or else Kowalski will join Manfredi and Johnson, in Skipper's list of FALLEN penguin comrades!" Kowalski weakly says: "Don't worry about me, just kick his BUTT!" Johnny yells: "DON'T CONFUSE THE ISSUE!!!!" Tigress says: "WAIT!!!! Don't hurt him! Here's the STUPID Pendant of Life!" And Tigress gives the Pendant of Life into Johnny's outstretched pincers.

Johnny says: "A WISE decision Tigress! And thanks to your generosity, I no longer HAVE to harm Kowalski, because the FALL out of this fifty story WINDOW will do it FOR me!" Tigress screams: "WHAT?!!!" Johnny says: "You're FAR too trusting and noble for your own GOOD, Tigress! And allow me to show you for once and for all, why I WILL triumph in the end, because YOU are dumb!" (KONK!!!!) And Snaptrap HITS Johnny on the head, with a frying pan of doom! Tigress says: "Snaptrap! You saved us, but why?" Snaptrap says: "Don't get me wrong! I could care LESS about which one of you WINS the competition! I just don't approve SMUG little JERKS like Johnny waltzing in, acting like they OWN the place! Now do me a favor, and don't you DARE lose to him!" Private says: "Got it!" Jenny asks: "But what are you going to do to Johnny Krill?" Tigress gets a smart idea, and she says: "First, give the Pendant of Life back to me, he LIED to me! The deal's OFF!" And Snaptrap takes the Pendant of Life FROM Johnny, and gives it back to Tigress! Tigress smiles, and says: "Thank you. And you've got THIRTY minutes before he's warped back to camp at Lake Michigan. So...do with him what you WILL!" Snaptrap smiles, and he says: "Oh, you can COUNT on it!" Johnny Krill recovers, and he weakly says: "Mother!" The other contestants BESIDES Johnny Krill, quickly rush out of the D.O.O.M. Lair, not even BOTHERING to look back on how Snaptrap decides to punish Johnny, but the other contestants can HEAR Johnny's screams, all the way over at the T.U.F.F. Headquarters! Bubble Bass is already there when the others arrive, and he shudders, and says: "Ooh! I'm SO glad I turned good when I did! That could've EASILY been me, if I didn't straighten out so early!" Tigress says: "It almost could've been ME, and it almost was! But I've GOT the Pendant of Life now, but this time, I WON'T let aggression get the better of me!" Dudley comes out and says: "You're here! And Bubble Bass, you brought me the blueprints to the Death Ray...thingy." Bubble Bass says: "Is that what EVERYONE calls it?" Dudley sarcastically says: "Oh, I'm TERRIBLY sorry! And YOUR blueprints to YOUR cleverly named Death Ray...thingy is WHERE?!" Jenny says: "Ooh, he's got us THERE!" Bubble Bass shrugs, and says: "Fair enough. Although, technically speaking, Tigress let me have them. She's a little rough around the edges, but she's REALLY good once you get to know her." Dudley says: "I'm sure she is. In any case, Bubble Bass, you WIN immunity for today's challenge! Use it wisely!" Bubble Bass says: "I will!" Anti-Cosmo says: "Time's up!" / And suddenly, everyone is warped back to the camp at the island in Lake Michigan! Sniz says: "You're back! And Bubble Bass has won the challenge!" Marlene says: "And I must say, good job!" General Barracuda GASPS, as a very bruised, BATTERED, and bandaged Johnny has appeared with the other contestants! General Barracuda says: "Buck Private, Johnny Krill, what's HAPPENED to you?!" Private laughs, and he says: "BUCK Private?! He has a lower ranking than ME!!!!"

Johnny weakly says: "Snaptrap happened to me!" General Barracuda says: "What did I tell you about picking fights against evil VILLAINS?! Never, EVER, mock them in their OWN evil lair, unless you have a plan, and you are the GOOD guy!" Johnny says: "But I AM the good guy!" Kowalski says: "Not after that little STUNT you tried to pull with ME! You TRIED to threaten my own SAFETY! Did you think I wouldn't take it PERSONALLY?!" Private says: "It's OVER, Johnny! You've burned ALL your bridges, and you have no one else to turn to!" Johnny looks at Bubble Bass, and weakly asks: "Alliance buddies?" Bubble Bass says: "Consider our alliance, and YOU getting any money from ME, terminated! Because I have STANDARDS, and Good is NOT Dumb, and Good is NOT Soft, or at least I'm not!" Johnny says: "Rats!" Sniz says: "In any case, even though you're all angry, we STILL have an Elimination Ceremony to do, and we're going to do it, tonight! Bubble Bass, you get the Luxury Suite, as the first winner of the merged portion of the game, and immunity! Everyone else, is fair game!" (Confessional) Kowalski says: "Private SAVED me! If he hadn't stopped me from jinxing everything, I wouldn't be here right now! I owe him a debt of gratitude! I'm going to put in a recommendation to Skipper, and put him on the fast track, to getting promoted to at LEAST Corporal!" / Tigress chuckles, and she says: "I just had a good 'Talk', with Anti-Cosmo. Thanks to my, 'Reason,' and 'Persuasion', A.K.A., my right fist and my left fist, Anti-Cosmo has AGREED to remove the curse on the Pendant of Life, and let us play the game the way we WANT to!" / Anti-Cosmo is heavily bandaged ALL OVER his body, except for his face, and he weakly says: "All along, I thought I was the Evil that was NOT a toy that should be messed with! Turns out, TIGRESS was the toy I shouldn't have messed with! I'm never going to make THAT mistake again!" / Bubble Bass says: "Normally, I would say it was all over except the shouting. But I know better than to make any presumptive judgments. Therefore, we're just going to have to wait and see." (End Confessional) It is now night-time, and the contestants are sitting around the campfire. Noticeably, Johnny is now bandaged in his left arm, his left leg, and is wearing a brace around his head, his right leg, and his right arm. Sniz says: "Welcome to the first elimination ceremony, as a merged unit. You all know the drill, so; it's time to choose someone you want to eliminate, and HOPE that they DON'T have the Pendant of Life!" (Confessional) Kowalski makes an "X" over Johnny's card, and he says: "For once, change is a GOOD thing!" / Tigress angrily makes an "X" over Johnny's card, and she says: "See you NEVER, Traitor!" / Po makes an "X" over Johnny's card, and Po says: "Sorry dude, but you picked the WRONG tiger to mess with!" / Johnny, with his TEETH, makes an "X" over Tigress' card! Johnny says: "You'll get eliminated soon enough, I just KNOW it!" / Jenny puts an "X" over Johnny's card, and she says: "It's got to be YOU, it's no CONTEST!" /

Bubble Bass puts an "X" over Johnny's card, and he says: "Sorry, but YOU lied to ME, and betrayed me FIRST, and I can't, and I WON'T associate with someone like that! It's just not good karma!" / Private makes an "X" over Johnny's card, and he says: "Well, here goes SOMETHING!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "The votes have been cast, so it's now time--." Tigress says: "Hold it! I'm going to stick it to Johnny ONE last time, and play the Pendant of Life, on ME!!!!" Johnny screams: "WHAT?!!!" Tigress says: "You SHOULD'VE played with honor when you had the CHANCE, Johnny! You've got no one to blame, but yourself!" Sniz says: "The Pendant of Life is genuine, that means all votes for Tigress will NOT count! One vote for Tigress, by JOHNNY, doesn't count! And let me just count the rest...and all the OTHER votes, by ALL the OTHER contestants have been CAST for Johnny! That means all the other contestants, will receive a SAFE marshmallow! And Johnny, I hope you can DODGE the Anti-Fairy marshmallow!" Johnny says: "But I--." But Johnny doesn't get to complete his thought in time, as Johnny is in no condition to MOVE fast enough, the Anti-Fairy marshmallow HITS him in the stomach, and causes his body to break out in RASHES and ZITS!!!! General Barracuda says: "Sorry! I guess the Anti-Fairy Marshmallow did something BAD, this time!" Sniz says: "Lucky for you, the Slingshot of Shame is currently undergoing maintenance tonight. So, you get to take the Limo of Shame home, tonight! Johnny says: "Jenny, DO something!" Jenny says: "I have no loyalty to you!" Johnny says: "Po?" Po says: "See you, wouldn't want to BE you!" Johnny says: "Bubble Bass?" Bubble Bass says: "Sorry, I've got a luxury suite with both my name, and Tigress' name on it!" Johnny says: "Tigress?" But Tigress is busy playing a Nintendo 3DS, and just waves him off! Johnny says: "Et tu, penguins? Et tu?" Kowalski says: "Au revoir, sayonara." Private says: "Don't let the door hit you on the way--." Johnny shouts: "Okay, FINE!!!! I'm eliminated! But you'll be SORRY! I mean, this game show just got 80% LESS awesome!" (KONK!!!!) And Johnny hits his HEAD on the top of the Limo of Shame, and Johnny shouts: "Okay, 79%!" / Sniz says: "And just like that, Johnny is unexpectedly the first contestant eliminated from the team portion of the challenge! Now we are down to the Final Six contestants! Which one of our remaining contestants, has what it takes to go all the way to the Final Two, and win the title, and the $1.4 million grand prize? It's STILL anyone's game! So be sure to tune in next time, for another edition of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! All fans are welcome!" /

Episode Notes: Johnny Krill is eliminated in this episode, making Bubble Bass the only representative from "Spongebob Squarepants", remaining in the competition. Featured song in this episode: Paul McCartney & The Wings, "Live And Let Die". Tigress finds and uses the Pendant of Life for the fourth time this season. It is revealed that prior to this episode, the Pendant of Life was being cursed by Anti-Cosmo, to increase the aggression of whoever held it and used it, by ten-fold. But thanks to Tigress' intervention, it is no longer being cursed. Bubble Bass wins immunity in the first portion of the merged part of the game. Eliminated Contestants: #14: Bessie Higgenbottom ("The Mighty B!"). #13: Rico ("The Penguins of Madagascar"). #12: Katarra ("Avatar: The Last Airbender"). #11: Theodore Seville ("Alvinnn!!! And The Chipmunks"). #10. Danny Fenton ("Danny Phantom"). #9. Fee ("Harvey Beaks"). #8. Brittany Miller ("Alvinnn!!! And The Chipmunks"). #7. Johnny Krill ("Spongebob Squarepants"). Remaining Contestants: Bubble Bass, Jenny, Kowalski, Po, Private, and Tigress. /

Personal Notes: Initially, my thought was that I was initially going to reveal Johnny Krill's status as the "Starscream" for Tigress sooner, in order to make it make more sense, that Johnny Krill was going to take over the duties of being the active antagonist AWAY from Tigress, as soon as she was eliminated! But after writing Johnny Krill the way I was writing him, it didn't feel right for me to have him both BETRAY Tigress and Kowalski, AND have him win the challenge in addition, which is why I decided to let Snaptrap take care of Johnny first, and showing Johnny the hard fact, that if you WANT to be evil, you better be PREPARED to suffer all the consequences of being evil, to! Because if you're NOT prepared for the consequences, you are GOING to be hurt by them! Tigress realized her mistake just in time, and has become a better contestant for it! Johnny Krill didn't, and not only has he LOST his shot at winning the title, he has lost the friendship of Bubble Bass, and $2.4 million in jewels. Kind of ironic, how the first contestant who wanted TIGRESS eliminated, ended up GETTING eliminated by Tigress herself! A fitting end, for such an unfit contestant! / That's my episode idea for today! Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

I really don't care that nobody else has run a re-run. I'm bored, and my boredom over-rules my wanting to wait! Besides, maybe someone out there will enjoy this! So, here's another re-run of "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back"! Enjoy! /

Sniz is in front of a makeshift race track, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, the two teams were no more! The seven remaining contestants, promptly found themselves facing a spy challenge in Petropolois, where the contestants were all aiming to be the first, to steal the blueprints to the Death Ray...thingy, that Snaptrap had in his possession. Johnny Krill decided that he had ALL he could stand from being belittled by Tigress, and over-reacted in the most SHOCKING way possible! First, he threatened to tear UP the blueprints! When that opportunity was denied to him, he instead decided to threaten the safety of Kowalski! Bad idea, Johnny Krill! As it turns out, while Snaptrap hates getting beaten up by Jenny Wakeman, he hates pretentious jerks like Johnny Krill anymore, and the other contestants felt absolutely no guilt, about letting Snaptrap do whatever he wanted with Johnny Krill. In the end, Bubble Bass won immunity, and Tigress secured her own immunity, with a now, permanently NON-cursed, Pendant of Life. So it was to no one's surprise, and to no one else's sadness, that Johnny Krill got eliminated out of the game! That was quite an intense episode! Fortunately, this one will be a lot more calmer. Because if this race track is any indication, the remaining contestants are going to be going fast, and they are going to look COOL! So get your motors running! It's time for another episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! I feel the need, the need for speed!" / Instead of the normal show open, it shows Bubble Bass having ANOTHER dream, where he is apparently singing "Get Out Of My Dreams, Get Into My Car", to Blonda, in a shot for shot remake of Billy Ocean's music video for that song, with Sway-Sway acting as the duck who can play saxophone! /

Bubble Bass sings: "Hey (hey) you (you), get into my car!" Blonda says: "Who; me?" Bubble Bass sings: "Yes you, get into my car! Woooooooooooooah. Wah! Yeah! Who's that lady, coming down the road? Who's that lady? Who's that woman walking through my door? What's the score? I'll be the sun shining on you. Hey, Cinderella, step in your shoe. I'll be your non-stop lover, get it while you can. Your non-stop miracle, I'm your man! Get outta my dreams, get into my car." Blonda sings back-up throughout: "(Get into my car)." Bubble Bass sings: "Get outta my dreams, get in the back seat baby; get into my car! (Get into mine, yeah). Get outta my mind, get into my life! Woooooooooh-hoo-hoo! Oh, I said hey, (Hey) you (You); get into my car! Oh, baby! Lady driver, let me take your wheel, smooth operator. Touch my bumper (Bumper). Honey, let's make a deal; make it real. Like a road runner coming after you, just like a hero outta the blue. I'll be your non-stop lover, get it while you can. Your non-stop miracle, I'm your man! Get outta my dreams, get into my car! (Get into my car). Get outta my dreams, get in the back seat baby; get into my car! (Get into mine, yeah). Get outta my mind, get into my life! Woooooooooh-hoo-hoo! Oh I said hey (Hey) you (You); get into my car! Oh baby, baby, I said open the door; (Get in the back). Tread on the floor, (Get on the track). Yeah (Yeah) Yeah (Yeah)! Yeah (Yeah) Yeah (Yeah)! Let's go! (Saxophone solo by Sway-Sway). Oh, baby! Ooooh, woah, yeah! I'll be the sun, shining on you! Hey, Cinderella, step in your shoe. I'll be your non-stop lover, get it while you can. Your non-stop miracle, I'm your man! Get outta my... Get outta my...Get outta my dreams! Get into my car! (Get into my car). Get outta my dreams, get in the back seat, baby! Get into my car! (Get into mine, yeah!) Get outta my mind, get into my life! Woooooooooh-hoo-hoo! Oh, I said hey, (Hey) you (You); get into my, hey (Hey) you (You); get into my, hey (Hey) you (You); get into my car! Oh, I said you! Get in the backseat! Oh, I mean you! Get in the backseat!" / And the epic song ends! / "Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car!" / The show opens up on in the Luxury Suite, on Bubble Bass, who has just woken up from his AWESOME dream! Bubble Bass says: "Well, it seems like my decision to give more jewels to Larry has paid off. No more REALLY weird dreams, just really cool ones! Even though I could TECHNICALLY keep the jewels I was PLANNING to give to Johnny Krill, I can now give them to Larry instead! So, even though I'll be down to $21 million worth in jewels, I'll feel good knowing that Johnny will put the $3 million worth in jewels that I'm giving him, to good use. Still, I feel pretty bad that Johnny did what he did. Even though it's personally not REALLY my business, I feel I should talk to Tigress about the whole situation." Tigress walks in, and asks: "Talk to me about WHAT situation?"

Bubble Bass says: "Well, that whole thing with Johnny Krill. You know, that I completely AGREE with you, that what he did and TRIED to do the other day, was REALLY inexcusable! I just hope you realize that!" Tigress says: "Of course I do! I would be a fool NOT to!" Bubble Bass says: "But you know, I don't think Johnny Krill WOULD have been PUSHED to ACT that NASTY if YOU hadn't pushed him into it!" Tigress snarks back, and defiantly says: "Hey! For the record, I didn't FORCE Johnny to do ANYTHING! The way he acted, he did so on his OWN accord! He CHOSE to betray us, and he CHOSE to try to hurt Kowalski, even when I TRIED to give him the Pendant of Life! And him going back on his word like that, is something that I would NEVER do! I may be a LOT of things, but a traitor is NOT one of them!" Tigress begins to walk away, but she sighs, turns around, and honestly says: "But in all honesty, you are...kind of right." Bubble Bass says: "KIND OF?!" Tigress says: "OKAY! You're a LOT right! It's...not easy for me to ADMIT when I did something wrong, okay?! As a Master, it's not something I'm USED to! It...takes a LOT of effort on my part, to admit I made a mistake. It's something I really need to work on. I feel really BADLY about the way I messed up with Johnny Krill and everything. I mean, part of it MIGHT have been the Pendant of Life, but it WAS amplifying my own emotions, so I can't REALLY put the blame on Anti-Cosmo for that. If I see Johnny again, I guess I'll have to--have to--HAVE to--!" Bubble Bass says: "Have to WHAT?!" Tigress struggles, but STILL mispronounces: "A--poll--luh--gyez!" Bubble Bass says: "Is THAT the BEST that you can pronounce, 'Apologize'?! You sound just the way that I USED to sound, when I was just STARTING to be good guy!"

Tigress seriously says: "The irony is not at all LOST on me! As you can guess, a--a---!" Bubble Bass says: "Apologizing?" Tigress says: "THAT; is NOT my strong suit! There haven't BEEN a lot of instances in my life where I actually felt the NEED to do that, and actually have to MEAN it! But how am I SUPPOSED to do that, when I can barely even get the concept out of my MOUTH?! And STILL mispronounce it while doing so?!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, take it from me. I know from personal experience, that Squidward once went through a very similar problem to YOURS! On one April Fools Day, he once played a prank on Spongebob Squarepants, but he took it WAY too far! Squidward rigged a rope system, which slammed him ACROSS my BUTT, against a window, against the CEILING, and INTO a full, DIRTY trash can! He made Spongebob CRY!!!! Needless to say, that random fish was right; Squidward WAS a jerk, and he DID stink! Needless to say, Squidward realized that despite the fact that HE had fun, what he did was WRONG! It really caused him GREAT pain to even TRY to apologize, and he tried his HARDEST to get out of actually doing it! But eventually, his conscience and his guilt got the better of him, and Squidward FINALLY apologized to Spongebob, only for Spongebob to reveal that it was an elaborate April Fools prank on HIM, to teach Squidward a LESSON, about how it's not NICE to play harmful pranks on others, and then try to NOT apologize for it!" Tigress says: "Did Spongebob REALLY come up with that idea ALL on his own?!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, actually, I DID help him come up with it. I felt kind of bad myself for pulling that pickle prank against Spongebob. I was just trying to get a free meal as a harmless prank. I didn't intend for him to become SO demoralized that he would lose the confidence to do ANYTHING right! Me helping him, was my way of apologizing to him, after he got his confidence back." Tigress says: "And the fact that Mr. Krabs wouldn't LET you come back into that restaurant until you had done so!" Bubble Bass says: "That's BESIDES the point! Besides, that was back when I WAS still kind of a jerk! Nobody's PERFECT, you know!" Tigress says: "Except for Orlando Bloom." Bubble Bass says: "Well, you're probably RIGHT! I mean, you usually are. In any case, I really think you should take me up on apologizing to Johnny Krill for what happened. And the sooner you do it, the better you'll feel. Not to mention, it will get you good karma. You could certainly use some at THIS stage in the game!" Tigress says: "You know what? You're RIGHT! I should, can, could, and WILL apologize to Johnny Krill! But since I can't do it in person, I'll do the next best thing and use the Confessional, so that at LEAST I'll get it out in the open, until I see him personally at the end of the season! Thank you, Bubble Bass!" Bubble Bass says: "It's not often I hear someone honestly thanking ME, you're welcome, Tigress!"

Tigress says: "With any luck, you can get USED to it! And by the way, I think Blonda made a VERY good decision! She's very lucky, to have a guy as honest as YOU are, in addition to your...other attributes that I can GUESS at, but won't say, out of respect for you." Bubble Bass confused, says: "Thank you, I GUESS!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "Okay, I hope Johnny Krill is out there listening somewhere, so if he can see and hear me, I just want to honestly say...I'm...s--s--sor--r--ee, about the way I treated you during the competition. It wasn't right of me, and I should've treated you with more respect and courtesy, than you wouldn't have gone so CRAZY in trying to get me eliminated the way you did!" A TV monitor inexplicably drops down, and Johnny Krill APPEARS on it, and he says: "HA!!!! I told you Tigress would eventually SAY she was sorry for the way she treated me! Fondue SO owes me twenty bucks!" Tigress says: "WHAT?!!!" Sniz appears on ANOTHER TV monitor, and he says: "Oh, Johnny Krill had a little side-bet going on with Fondue, and he wanted to pre-record that JUST in case he turned out RIGHT, that you would apologize to him, for the way he treated you, and NOW, Fondue SO owes Johnny Krill twenty bucks!" Tigress sarcastically says: "Oh, SURE!!!! NOW you tell me!" / Bubble Bass says: "I honestly feel like life is getting better for me, and not for RANDOM reasons, either! I've really had to work to get to this point in my life, and I feel like I've done pretty good for myself. I mean, I've already outlasted HALF of the contestants who applied for this challenge! I certainly didn't anticipate THAT! I mean, as long as I've gotten THIS far, I might as well try GOING all the way, and getting a title! Because even if I don't, I certainly won't be in any WORSE shape than I was when I STARTED this season! I'll probably even be in a little BETTER shape, because I'll have Blonda if nothing else, and Spongebob and Patrick will want to be friends with me more often. I mean, I could certainly USE some pals who want to play "Super Smash Bros. Ultimate" with me, even though I'll probably win, due to having more experience than them. At least I won't be a sore loser or a poor winner, like I might have been in the past. I've changed for the better. I mean, I got a compliment from TIGRESS, of ALL characters! Do you know how HARD it is, to get TIGRESS to compliment YOU?! I don't know the odds off hand, but they're on the equivalent of those 'Star Wars' odds that usually pop up, WHICH I can mention by name, since I'm NOT planning on making any money off of it. In any case, I'm going to play to the best of my ability, and keep putting my best fin forward! I think that's the best way for me to play this game!" (End Confessional) In another hotel room, Private, Kowalski, and Jenny are in the same room together! Jenny says: "Guys, I hope you know, there's a reason why I called you into this room!"

Kowalski says: "Well, obviously, it's because you're worried about the whole Po and Tigress relationship, and you want to ELIMINATE one of them, in order to make the other one vulnerable!" Jenny says: "No! I mean, 'Yes!' How did you figure THAT out so quickly?!" Private says: "He's a penguin commando, Jenny! He's been doing this since BEFORE I was hatched!" Jenny says: "Fair enough. In any case, having Po and Tigress in challenges TOGETHER, is a VERY dangerous combination! After all, on their own, they are ALREADY formidable opponents! But if they got together, can you IMAGINE how tough it would be to STOP them?!" Kowalski grabs out his abacus, and he says: "By my calculations, I estimate the odds of stopping them would be 51,678,943,000 to one." Private says: "NEVER tell me the odds!" Jenny says: "But those odds ARE statistically correct, though. That's why we need to band together to STOP those two! If we get rid of one, the other will SOON follow! Are you WITH me?!" Private says: "That depends. Does being, 'With you', imply that we're in an alliance?" Kowalski says: "Exactly! And we all know HOW WELL Johnny Krill and Tigress functioned in an alliance; which is to say, not at ALL!!!!" Jenny says: "Hey! I'm only suggesting a TEMPORARY alliance! Think of it as an 'Enemy mine!' All THREE of us, need Po and Tigress gone, if we want to stand a CHANCE of getting to the Final Three! Once THEY'RE gone, you can go ahead and try to target me! But for now, I'm saying we put our differences aside, in order to focus on the LARGER challenge at hand!" Private asks: "Kowalski, what do you think?" Kowalski says: "Statistically speaking, Po and Tigress ARE the bigger challenge to us! And it would be more beneficial for us to try to eliminate them sooner, rather to wait until later. After all, with the three of us, we WOULD outnumber them, so it would be logical for us to try to eliminate them at our first given opportunity!" Private says: "But what if one of them finds the Pendant of Life, or wins immunity?! That could put a damper on our plans!" Kowalski says: "Well, Plan 'A', is, we don't LET them win immunity, OR find the Pendant of Life! If we can't find the Pendant of Life, we'll assume that one of THEM has it, and split the votes between them JUST to make sure! We can even get Bubble Bass in on the act!" Private says: "But Bubble Bass would NEVER betray Tigress! He's STILL in an alliance with her!" Kowalski says: "That's why we're going to tell him to vote off for PO! Bubble Bass has loyalty to TIGRESS, not to Po! If Bubble Bass votes off Po, he can STILL keep his loyalty to Tigress, and help us at the same time!" Private thinks about it, and he says: "I don't know. This plan reeks of plain old WRONGNESS to me!" Kowalski says: "Well, what OTHER choice do we have?! We can't very well AFFORD to keep them around any longer, we NEED this plan to work BADLY!"

Private sighs, and says: "Okay, let's do it. But either you or Jenny be the one to break it to Bubble Bass! I want as little to DO with this plan as possible! Nothing personal, you understand!" Jenny says: "I'll do it! Since I'm made of Titanium, Bubble Bass can't hurt me, EVEN if he WANTED to! Sound good?" Kowalski says: "Very well, then. We'll let you take care of the arrangements, then." Jenny says: "Can, and WILL do!" (Confessional) Kowalski says: "Having narrowly survived the LAST challenge, it's become clear to me that if we DON'T make a gutsy move NOW, we won't LAST much longer! I know this move is risky! But after all, what IS a challenge without a little RISK involved?! Well...I guess it would STILL technically be a challenge, but it feels like something would be missing. Something, RISKY!" / Private says: "I'm personally AGAINST backstabbing! I want as little to do with it as POSSIBLE! After all, when you try to backstab someone, even if it doesn't IMMEDIATELY backfire on you, like it did with Johnny, it will almost CERTAINLY lead to tears and ruination in the LONG run! Sigh, maybe if I win, I'll offer some of my winnings to the other eliminated contestants. It will be my form of consolation to them, and help me feel better about the actions I take. I mean, I'll certainly feel better about myself if nothing else!" / Jenny says: "I HAD to make an alliance with the penguins, okay?! If I tried to make an alliance with Po and Tigress, I would ALWAYS only be THIRD place at BEST, even if I actually TRIED to force their hands by trying to win a challenge! And Bubble Bass has proven to be more skilled than ANYONE initially gave him credit for; but the fact remains, that Po and Tigress need to go FIRST! While the order HARDLY matters, my vote is personally for Tigress! I mean, YES, she's back to being good now, but she would STILL kick our butts if given the opportunity, which is why we can't LET her get that opportunity! Besides, getting rid of Tigress NOW, will make it EASIER to take out Po later! Metaphorically speaking, of course!" (End Confessional) The sound of race car engines, roars over the loudspeakers, and Sniz announces: "Rev up those engines, and get your motors running! It's time to compete in the next challenge! Meet me at the make-shift race-track out behind the camp! More details will be...detailed, once you get there!" Po pumps his fist, and says: "Sweet! It's a RACING challenge! I feel SO totally pumped up for this!" (Confessional) Po says: "Thanks to some coaching from Tigress, I've learned how to drive, and I can drive pretty well! All the same, I know the other contestants aren't going to make it EASY for me OR Tigress to try to win this challenge! But I know Tigress is up to it! And even if we DON'T win, I'm sure ONE of us can find the Pendant of Life! I mean, Tigress IS good at doing that, if nothing else!" (End Confessional)

The contestants make their way to the race-track, where they meet Marlene, who is dressed in a racer's uniform! Marlene says: "Welcome contestants, to your NEXT exciting challenge! We're going to the exciting world of the race-track!" Kowalski says: "Awesome!" Marlene pulls out a detailed map of the race-track, and she says: "Here is the entire race-course which you will have to race. And this isn't JUST about making LEFT turns, you will be making RIGHT turns, and CROSS turns, and LONG turns, and BACK turns!" Private asks: "And Square turns?" Marlene says: "And SQUARE turns and FRONT turns, and pretty much, any other turns that you can think of! Avoiding all the hazards across this race-track, will help you immensely, to keep you from losing speed, and complete three laps around the track!" Tigress says: "There's going to be a catch, isn't there?" Sniz says: "You know us SO well, Tigress! The twist is, we're spicing up this race-track challenge, by making it, a 'Mario Kart' race-themed track challenge!" Private says: "But this show has already DONE a 'Mario Kart' race-themed track challenge, way back in season One!" Sniz rolls his eyes, and says: "Fine! So we've DONE this challenge already! We DON'T have unlimited PLOT ideas, you know! At LEAST we had the decency to WAIT until there were NO contestants from season one on a season, BEFORE doing it again! And since NONE of you have done this before, you have no way of KNOWING how the others are going to drive, or what kinds of techniques they might use, so, it will STILL be a pretty fresh challenge!" Anti-Cosmo appears, and he says: "And even though the Pendant of Life is no longer cursed, THANKS TO TIGRESS; hidden somewhere along the race-course, is the Pendant of Life, so, if you find it, and don't win, you'll still have another chance to compete in the game. But, it WILL be your last chance, because this is the LAST challenge in which the Pendant of Life will be usable! After this challenge, immunity will be your ONLY option for staying safe in the game!" Tigress says: "So we'll be getting SERIOUS! I like THOSE odds!" Anti-Cosmo says: "And to make things even MORE interesting, for me, each lap will take place on a differently THEMED track from across the 'Mario Kart' series, and you WILL be using items from 'Mario Kart' against each other. And NO, Jenny, you CANNOT use ANY of your own tools during this challenge!" Jenny groans, and says: "FINE!!!!" Marlene says: "So, whoever gets first place at the end of three laps, will win immunity! It's that simple!" Po asks: "But where our are karts?" Sniz says: "You'll have to build them first! Wouldn't be as challenging, otherwise! You'll find all the tools you need to build a kart, inside Fondue's tool shack. You can build your car out of any material you can find on this island, just make sure that it's functional, and can run on whatever power source you can find!"

Bubble Bass says: "So, function and fuel are needed for our karts, I can get behind that!" Sniz says: "You have one hour to build your karts, so, I suggest you get cracking!" Private says: "We're on it, Sniz!" General Barracuda says: "Let's hope so, for your own sake! I've never SEEN this challenge before PERSONALLY, but it will be interesting to watch, for ME! Especially since I'm not DRIVING!" Sniz says: "Oh, it will be interesting all right! We have to take a break, but when we come back, we'll see EXACTLY what our contestants build, and then, see how well they do in a race! So be sure to come right back, for more Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! It's a RACE, people!" / (Commercial Break) / After the commercials end, the show opens up back on Sniz, who is standing in front of the race track. Sniz says: "Welcome back to what is shaping up to be an EXHILARATING episode! Our contestants have been hard at work, making their karts be the best that they can be! Let us show you the fruits of their labors, in this rocking montage!" / To the tune of Gary Numan's hit song, "Cars", the contestants are shown putting together, and painting their karts. Some of the contestants, like Kowalski, Jenny, and Private, have a relatively easy time building their karts. Other contestants, like Bubble Bass, Po, and Tigress, have a much harder time; but for the latter two, it's more due to the fact that they don't know their own strength, and they keep ACCIDENTALLY breaking the designs of the karts that they keep TRYING to build! / Gary Numan sings: "Here in my car, I feel safest of all. I can lock all my doors, it's the only way to live, in cars. Here in my car, I can only receive. I can listen to you, it keeps me stable for days, in cars. (Instrumental solo) Here in my car, where the image breaks down, will you visit me, please? If I open my door, in cars. Here in my car, I know I've started to think about leaving tonight. Although, nothing seems right, in cars." (Instrumental Solo continues throughout as the contestants keep building, and eventually perfecting their karts, and the epic song ends!) / Sniz says: "The montage is over, and now, it's time to see, what our contestants have come up with! Since we want to keep this interesting, we're going to try to keep our order random, so let's start with Bubble Bass! Bubble Bass, what kind of kart, did you come up with?" The camera reveals Bubble Bass' kart, to be purple in color, has been built to carry heavy loads (such as Bubble Bass himself), and is even equipped with working headlights! Bubble Bass says: "I didn't want to rush it, but I also wanted something practical, so I built something that I would be sure that could carry me to victory, while STILL being efficient on gas mileage! I think the results speak for themselves, don't you think?" Sniz looks it over, and says: "Hmm, well the results ARE speaking for themselves. I'm not exactly sure WHAT they're saying; but then, I'm in no position to criticize. I've NEVER had to build a kart myself! Overall, I'd give it a 5 out of 10! Next up, Kowalski!"

The camera reveals Kowalski's kart, to be red, yellow, and orange in color, as if the entire kart was on FIRE, and is even DESIGNED to look like a hot rod! Kowalski says: "I have the absolutely LAST word in speed and agility! It's actually TEN years ahead of its time! Plus, the fuel supply is SO simple and efficient! Just feed it a bunch of spicy baked Boston beans, and VROOM!!!! You've got a recipe for success, and a car that WON'T need ANY refueling for the next THREE years!" Sniz says: "Speedy AND efficient! I'd give it an 8 out of 10! Next up, Jenny!" The camera reveals Jenny's kart, which is a blue, silver chrome painted sleek designed, futuristic looking cart, stream-lined as if it CAME from the future, and evoking a general COOLNESS about it! Jenny says: "While I may not be able to use any of my own tools, I WAS able to use the tools that I COULD use, to take a design that my MOM had kicking around for a few years, and make my own modifications to it! This kart is built for efficiency, mobility, sharp turning, and can comfortably seat a family of four! I call my kart, the Jenny Mobile!" Sniz perplexedly says: "The JENNY Mobile?!" Jenny says: "Sure! Doesn't it LOOK like a Jenny Mobile to you?" Sniz says: "Well, you...got me THERE! It certainly DOES look like a Jenny Mobile. I guess I'd give it a 7 out of 10. Next up, Tigress!" Tigress' kart is revealed to look pretty much like a NORMAL car, except painted to look LIKE a tiger itself! Sniz asks: "This is YOUR idea of a creative Kart?!" Tigress says: "Hey! It was either THIS, or NOTHING! It's not MY fault they don't make kart materials like they USED to! I didn't have time to give it many modifications, but I think you can safely agree, that there is simply no other kart in the WORLD that is like this!" Sniz says: "Well, you're technically right about THAT part! But for a hastily-crafted hack job, I'd give it a D Minus at BEST! But in lieu of a grade, I'll give it a 4 out of 10. Next up, Po!" Po's kart is revealed to ALSO look pretty much like a normal car, only painted to look like a panda itself! Sniz says: "I'm guessing not so great minds think alike." Po says: "Hey, it may not look like much on the outside; but on the inside, is where it counts! Plus, if the engine ever breaks down, I've got a back-up means of mobility! I just push a button, and out comes a sail which can catch wind, and propel myself with WIND power!" Sniz says: "Po, if wind power cars were MEANT to catch on, they would've DONE so by now! LAME, 3 out of 10 points. Next up, Private!" Private's kart, looks very MUCH like Princess Peach's kart from the "Mario Kart" series! Sniz excitedly says: "Now THIS is the kind of kart that I can go for!" Tigress says: "Wait a minute! He just LITERALLY copied that design from a 'Mario Kart' game!" Sniz says: "Not so fast! Tell me more about it!" Private says: "Well, it's pink, to show that I'm comfortable with my feminine side. It has a pretty parasol, to protect me from the sun, it has working headlights, and it also runs on mushroom power!" Sniz says: "Well, I think it's safe to say who got the best score here, Private gets a 10 out of 10!"

Tigress says: "WHAT?! You can't do THAT!" Sniz says: "Oh, I'm sorry. Is this YOUR show? Oh no, it's not! It's MY show! And as such, I can rank the karts however I see fit! Therefore, the starting positions will be as follows. Private will be in the first position, Kowalski will be in the second position, Jenny will be in the third position, Bubble Bass will be in the fourth position, Tigress will be in the fifth position, and Po will be in the sixth position! So, it's time to get this race started! Racers, get into your karts, get buckled up, and let's get down to business!" / The racers are all in their karts, in protective racing gear, all buckled up, and in their respective positions! Marlene climbs up to the referee's stand, where she gets ready to wave the checkered flag, to start and end the race! Marlene shouts: "Remember contestants, this is a three lap total affair. If for some reason, your kart breaks down and is unable to continue racing, we will mark the position where you crashed, as your final ranking. There will be random 'Mario Kart' items strewn about, in boxes which will give you a randomized item, including exactly ONE Pendant of Life! Each lap will have you randomly warp to a random 'Mario Kart' course of Anti-Cosmo's choosing! I wish you the best of luck, and may the best racer win!" Tigress says: "You can COUNT on it!" The racing lights begin the count-down, (BEEP!) and Marlene shouts: "On your marks! (BEEP!) Get Set! (BEEP!) GO!!!!" The racers immediately begin racing, only to be immediately be thrust into the "Donut Plains 2" stage from "Super Mario Kart"! Bubble Bass says: "Not THIS stage, I HATE this stage! There are Monty Moles EVERYWHERE!" And sure enough, Monty Moles begin popping out of the ground, and tackling themselves onto Jenny's, Po's, and Tigress' karts, with Private, and Kowalski avoiding them due to their superior steering, and Bubble Bass because he is going so slow. Tigress says: "UGH! Ground Rat! Get it off! Get it OFF!!!! Get it off, get it off, get it--!!" (CRASH!!!!) And Tigress unexpectedly RAMS into a wall, totaling her kart! Marlene shouts: "Ooh, I don't care HOW tough Tigress is, that's GOT to hurt her PRIDE!!!!" Tigress moans, and says: "What a REVOLTING development THIS is!" The other racers make it through the rest of the lap without further incident, and finish the lap with Private leading, Kowalski second, Jenny third, Bubble Bass fourth, and Po fifth! Sniz says: "First lap is over, and Tigress ranks out at sixth! Now it's time for the second lap!" The second lap begins, and it shifts into the "Koopa Beach" stage from "Mario Kart 64"! Private says: "Cool! We're at the beach!" Kowalski says: "Just be sure to not DRIVE into the water! That's an automatic rank-out condition!" Bubble Bass says: "This sand is SO not conducive to the productivity of my tires!" Po breaks out his sail, and he says: "Too bad you don't have WIND power to help you!"

Sniz says: "Hey! Can he do that, legally?!" Fondue breaks out the rule-book, and he says: "No rules about modifying a kart to rely on wind power. Advantage, Po!" Bubble Bass suddenly picks up a triple mushroom item, and he says: "This could be my lucky break!" And Bubble Bass spots a ramp that leads into a cave! Bubble Bass says: "Got to time this JUST right!" And Bubble Bass uses one of his mushrooms, and SAFELY manages to land inside the cave, leading to a shortcut to the other side of the island! Jenny says: "WOAH! He's WAY ahead!" Kowalski says: "Good thing he can't catch the GUARANTEED Spiny Shell item over the rock. I'll just jump off of the LONG ramp, and get it!" Private says: "Kowalski, don't TRY it! I don't think it will--!" But Kowalski jumps off, but in a harsh case of "Reality Ensues" the kart gets totally WRECKED by jumping onto the sharp rock, and it falls DOWN to the ground and crashes to the ground, and the airbags immediately go off in Kowalski's kart. Kowalski, muffled, says: "Oh, good, the airbags DO work!" Jenny says: "I'm not that familiar with pain, but I'll bet he will feel THAT in the morning!" Private says: "I think he's feeling it NOW, OUCH!" But Po picks up an item box, and to his AMAZING luck, he gets the Pendant of Life! Po says: "Salvation! This could help save Tigress' skin! I just got to win the rest of the race!" The remaining racers, complete the rest of Koopa Beach without incident, and finish the second lap, with Bubble Bass in first place, Private in second place, Jenny in third place, and Po in fourth place. Sniz says: "Second lap is over, and Kowalski ranks out at fifth! Now, it's time for the third and FINAL lap!" The third lap begins, and it shifts into "Rainbow Road", from "Mario Kart 64"! Private says: "Not THIS stage! This is one of the LONGEST stages in racing games!" Jenny says: "At least we only have to do one LAP of it!" Bubble Bass says: "Sorry to spoil your chances of WINNING!" And right before the LONG descent, Bubble Bass heads to the left at a certain spot, hops OVER the guardrail fence, and everyone watches, waiting for Bubble Bass to be declared out of bounds, but, he isn't, and he SAFELY lands on the track on the other end, cutting out a GOOD 25% of the track! Po says: "WOAH!!!! He's WAY ahead! Can he DO that, legally?" Jenny says: "In the N64 version of the game, which this stage is based on, he can. It isn't EASY, but he can." Private asks: "So how can we catch up?" Jenny says: "Go ahead of me! I have a plan!" So Private and Po go on ahead. Jenny picks up an item box, and SHE gets a LIGHTNING bolt! Jenny says: "Just as I anticipated!" Private says: "Jenny, WAIT!!!! You're COMPLETELY made of METAL!!!! If you throw down that lightning bolt, it will--!"

But Jenny doesn't wait to hear the rest of Private's statement, because she throws DOWN the lightning bolt! Yes, it DOES shrink down Bubble Bass, Po, and Private, even blasting OFF the former two's clothes for EXTRA humiliation, but the lightning bolt ALSO strikes Jenny, causing her completely metal kart to short-circuit, throwing her OUT of the kart, and any chance of getting back to it, is rendered moot, as the wandering chain chomp comes along and EATS the kart up, forcing Jenny OUT of the running! In a high squeaky voice, Private says: "I tried to warn you!" Jenny groans, and she says: "NOW he tells me!" Bubble Bass groans at his predicament, and says: "Not AGAIN!!!! This is like, the EIGHTH time this season this has happened to me!" Po shouts: "It's okay, you're USED to it, by now!" And Private picks up an item box, and gets a GOLDEN mushroom! Private says: "I've got a Golden Mushroom, there still might BE a chance!" So Private INSTANTLY uses the Golden Mushroom, and pushes it as many times as he can, trying to cover the vast distance between himself and Bubble Bass, but it's an exercise in futility, as Bubble Bass finishes the lap in 1 minute, 30 seconds, while Private is BARELY able to finish it in just under 2 minutes, and Po lumbers across in 2 minutes, 30 seconds! Marlene waves the checkered flag, and she says: "And it's over! It's all over! Somehow, against ALL expectations, Bubble Bass has managed to win his SECOND, solo immunity challenge in a row! WHAT are the odds?!" Kowalski says: "Honestly, even I'M stumped at trying to figure out THOSE odds, and I'm Kowalski!" Bubble Bass says: "That's great! REALLY great! Can I have my dignity back, now?" Jenny grabs both Bubble Bass', and Po's clothes, and hands them back to them. Jenny says: "Sorry about that! I guess I don't know my OWN strength sometimes!" Sniz says: "So the challenge is ALL over! Bubble Bass has won immunity, and therefore, cannot be voted off tonight at the Elimination Ceremony! Everyone else is fair game, unless they have a Pendant of Life!" Po runs up to Tigress, and whispers to her: "Tigress, don't worry about a thing, I got the Pendant of Life!" Tigress says: "Really?!" Po says: "Not so loud!" Tigress says: "Right, our detractors. So, what are we going to do?" Po says: "They're obviously going to split the votes just to make sure, and we only have one Pendant of Life. No matter WHO it gets played on, one of us might get voted off!" Tigress says: "Well, if they split the votes, that would leave with only TWO votes for each of us! If we BOTH vote for someone else, than the result would be a TIED vote! We can FORCE a tie-breaker challenge!" Po says: "But what if the tie-breaker challenge CAUSES one of us to lose?!"

Tigress says: "Well, we have no way of KNOWING for sure! At least this way, we can FIGHT for our chance to stay in the game! I'll take the risk! We'll BOTH try to vote off Kowalski! You play the Pendant of Life on yourself! That way, no matter WHAT happens, you'll be safe! I don't WANT to continue the game without you! No matter what has happened, you've ALWAYS been my number one priority to me!" Po says: "Thanks, Tigress, that means a lot to me!" Tigress says: "I know! So, we have our plan of action! Let's just hope it works!" (Confessional) Po says: "Tigress has ALWAYS been confident about her chances, but this could be her BIGGEST gamble yet! However, I never thought she'd gamble with her OWN game! It's so touching to know, that she thinks THAT highly of me, that she's willing to risk her OWN game, just to save mine! I just hope she can see this gamble through!" / Tigress says: "Saving Po is my ONLY real option at this point in the game, and targeting Kowalski is purely a strategic move. One of us will be leaving the game. And if it happens to be me, than at least, I'm leaving on my OWN terms this time. If I lose to Kowalski, I'll have no regrets. I'll be disappointed, but I'll have no regrets." (End Confessional) Jenny walks up to Bubble Bass, and she says: "Bubble Bass, I want to ask you for your help." Bubble Bass says: "After blasting MY clothes off?! You have a LOT of nerve!" Jenny says: "Please?! It will help your game in the LONG run!" Bubble Bass says: "I'm listening!" Jenny says: "We're going to vote off Po! Po would NEVER play the Pendant of Life on himself, he'd ALWAYS try to save Tigress FIRST! So if we vote off Po, we'd be taking one of the BIGGEST threats to the Final Three, out of the Game!" Bubble Bass says: "I don't like that. That's kind of bad, to be playing against Tigress like that." Jenny asks: "What OTHER choice do you have?! Tigress is playing for the same thing, to! She wants to win as much, if not MORE than Po does! She wouldn't expect anything LESS than us! Tigress is concerned about her OWN game! She wouldn't CARE if Po was taken out! A little disappointed, but she wouldn't care!" Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "Alright, I'll do it! But you're going to owe me a birthday present, for going along with this!" Jenny says: "I'll give you 'Super Mario Oddyssey' for the Nintendo Switch." Bubble Bass says: "A game I don't have yet. All right, it's a deal!" (Confessional) Jenny says: "All right! I got Bubble Bass on board! It wasn't easy, but I got him on board! The penguins will try to vote Tigress off, and on the off chance that Po DOES use the Pendant of Life on himself, at least we'll STILL get Tigress out of the game, and Bubble Bass TECHNICALLY won't be responsible for it! He can't be voted off, anyways! Overall, I'd call it a 'Win-Win' situation!" /

Bubble Bass says: "I would NEVER want to betray Tigress directly! Even THIS move is a bit MUCH for me! But, my chances of moving forward in the game, are only going to get TOUGHER from here! And if I don't take out Po now, I might not GET another chance to do so later! Hopefully, I can make it up to Tigress later! I'm not sure HOW, yet, but I can make it up to her!" (End Confessional) It is now night time, and the contestants are all at the campfire. Sniz says: "Contestants, welcome to another Elimination Ceremony. We have six contestants, but only FIVE of you will get to move forward past this point! The time has come to cast your votes. Bubble Bass has immunity, so you cannot vote for him. Everyone else is fair game, provided they DON'T use the Pendant of Life on THEMSELVES, or anyone ELSE!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass sighs, and places an 'X' over Po's playing card. / Jenny places an 'X' over Po's playing card, and she says: "Well, one way or another, the balance of power is BOUND to shift tonight!" / Po places an 'X' over Kowalski's playing card, and he says: "It's all up to Kowalski and Tigress now!" / Tigress places an 'X' over Kowalski's card, and she says: "I hope you brought your A game tonight, because YOU are going to NEED it!" / Private places an 'X' over Tigress' card, and he says: "If I didn't think that we honestly HAD a chance to eliminate her, I wouldn't even TRY to do this!" / Kowalski places an 'X' over Tigress' card, and he says: "The votes have been cast; now the moment of truth is at hand!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "The votes have been cast! When I call your name, you will receive a marshmallow. The contestant that does NOT receive a safe marshmallow, must immediately pack their bags, head for the Slingshot of Shame, and be eliminated! That means you will never come BACK as a contestant during this round of play, EVER! So with that being said, it's time--." Po says: "HOLD it! I have in my hands, the Pendant of Life, and I'm going to...no, they WOULDN'T try to vote off Tigress after having failed so MANY times already, I'm playing it on myself!" And Jenny gasps in absolute STUNNED, bewilderment! Sniz says: "The Pendant of Life is genuine, that means all votes cast for Po will not count! First, the safe contestants! Marshmallows for Bubble Bass, Private, and Jenny! All the other contestants, have votes! One vote for Po, cast by Bubble Bass, doesn't count. One vote cast for Po, by Jenny, doesn't count." Bubble Bass says: "I thought you said WE were voting off Po!" Jenny says: "That's EXACT words! WE, the two of US, were voting off Po! I made no other promises!" Bubble Bass says: "That's a fair cop." Sniz says: "One vote cast for Kowalski, by Po, counts! One vote cast for Kowalski, by Tigress, counts! One vote cast for Tigress, by Kowalski, counts! And one vote cast for Tigress, by Private, counts! It's a DEADLOCK between Tigress and Kowalski! That means Po gets a safe marshmallow!"

Kowalski says: "So, this is how it goes down, Tigress?" Tigress says: "Yes, this IS how it goes down! I don't expect for you to hold back!" Sniz says: "So, I must ask this mandatory question; is there ANYONE here, who is going to change their votes?" Bubble Bass says: "No way!" Jenny says: "I'm not even considering it!" Sniz says: "Well, in that case, we will go to a tie-breaker challenge. Now, since we are at a campsite, we will have a tie-breaker challenge, based on a fundamental skill, that EVERY camper should know! Now, using only your own skills, and knowledge, and NO special Kung Fu techniques, Tigress, you will have to get a fire started, and be the first to have your fire, burn the rope hanging between two pieces of rock. Whoever is the FIRST to do it, will be safe from elimination, tonight! Marlene?!" Marlene comes into the scene, and she says: "On it! Tigress and Kowalski, for safety from tonight's elimination, may luck be on your side! On your marks, get set, go!" Tigress furiously starts striking two pieces of flint, to get a fire started, while Kowalski quickly strings together, a makeshift, sturdy bow, to create friction between two pieces of small log! Kowalski quickly uses his creation, to quickly rub a fire together, and gets it going, and begins blowing on it, to get the flame to grow higher! Tigress FINALLY gets a spark started, and begins blowing on her fire to, but Kowalski's is ALREADY higher, and soon enough--(SNAP!!!!) Sniz says: "Kowalski has gotten his rope to burn first! Therefore, Kowalski gets the safe marshmallow!" Tigress says: "YIPES!!!!" And Tigress QUICKLY dodges the Anti-Fairy marshmallow, which BUMPS into the SAME Acorn Tree that PREVIOUSLY produced the gigantic acorn that caused Brittany to grow, only now, the Acorn Tree turns INVISIBLE, and Fondue accidentally BUMPS into it, and his CLOTHES turn invisible, rendering him NAKED!!!! Fondue says: "AHHH!!!! The Anti-Magic rubbed off AGAIN!!!!" General Barracuda says: "Don't worry about it, that will just wear off, sooner or later!" Fondue says: "Small comfort for me! Somebody put some PAINT on that thing!" Marlene says: "Noted!" Sniz says: "Well, Tigress, you had a good run, but your time as a contestant, has come to an end. The Slingshot of Shame, awaits!" Tigress says: "Well, a well-played strategy. I'm actually impressed. Disappointed by the results, but I'm impressed! I didn't think ANY of you could come up with something so elaborate!" Bubble Bass says: "I just want to state for the record, that I was NOT an active part of that arrangement! Trying to eliminate Po was purely strategic on my end. I meant NOTHING against you; and if I had known that Jenny WAS using me to try to engineer YOUR elimination at the same time, I would've voted WITH you, if I could have!" Tigress says: "I know that. And I don't hold it against you. At least this way, I get to leave on my OWN terms, and not by some vote-off!" /

Tigress is all packed up, and is fitted for safety, on the Slingshot of Shame. Sniz says: "Tigress, any last words before you're hurled into the wild blue yonder?" Tigress says: "A few! Penguins, you better prepare yourselves for a HARD battle against Po! If you thought getting rid of ME was a challenge, Po will only PROVE to be much more difficult from here on out! Fire away, Sniz!" Sniz launches the Slingshot of Shame, and Tigress shouts: "See you at the FINALE!!!!" Po asks: "Is she going to be all right?" Sniz says: "Don't worry about it, cats ALWAYS land on their feet!" And from far away, Tigress yells: "OW!!!! My FEET!!!!" Sniz says: "See what I mean?! And just like that, Tigress, has FINALLY been taken out of the competition! The other contestants may have won the battle, but the war is FAR from over yet! Only five contestants remain, and any one of them, could be the next one to be eliminated! See who will emerge victorious on the next exciting episode, of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! Man, this was an AWESOME episode!" / Epilogue: In a stylish music video, Tigress sings her OWN version, of Pebbles' rocking 1988 hit song, "Mercedes Boy;" to nobody else, but Po! / Tigress sings: "Do you wanna ride? Baby, let me tell you, I've been watching you. See you dancing in my dreams, feel your heartbeat inside of me. So if you feel it coming on, catch me getting in the mood. Boy, I'll give you anything, cruising's all you have to do. Do you wanna ride in my Mercedes, boy? Ride! Tell me what you're gonna do with me. 'Cause if you wanna ride in my Mercedes, boy, there are so many things that I'm gonna do to you. Baby, let me tell you, I've been wanting you. Always on the scene, good looks and more possessing all of me. So when it starts to coming on, catch me getting in the mood! Boy, I'll give you anything. Cruising's all you have to do. Do you wanna ride in my Mercedes, boy? Ride! Tell me what you're gonna do with me. 'Cause if you wanna ride in my Mercedes, boy, there are so many things that I'm gonna do to you. Do you wanna ride in my Mercedes, boy? Ride! Tell me what you're gonna do with me. 'Cause if you wanna ride in my Mercedes, Boy, there are so many things that I'm gonna do to you. (Instrumental Solo) Ride! With me, with me! Ride! Do you wanna ride? Do you wanna ride in my Mercedes, boy? Ride! Tell me what you're gonna do with me. 'Cause if you wanna ride in my Mercedes, boy, there are so many things that I'm gonna do to you. Do you wanna ride in my Mercedes, boy? Ride! Tell me what you're gonna do with me. 'Cause if you wanna ride in my Mercedes, boy, there are so many things that I'm gonna do to you!" (Instrumental Solo until the epic song ends!) /

Episode Notes: Tigress becomes the first, and ONLY contestant on "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back", to be eliminated via a tie-breaker challenge, and therefore, the only contestant BESIDES Fee, to NOT be eliminated by votes! With Tigress' elimination, Po is the ONLY representative from "Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness", remaining in the game. Featured songs in this episode include "Get Out Of My Dreams, Get Into My Car" (also the episode title), Gary Numan's "Cars", and Tigress, singing a version of Pebbles' "Mercedes Boy". This marks the second time this show has featured a "Mario Kart" challenge, a fact even LAMPSHADED by Private, himself! Bubble Bass wins solo immunity for the second time in a row this season. Final time the Pendant of Life is used in this game, and the ONLY time that it ISN'T used by Tigress to protect herself, but used by Po, to protect himself! Eliminated Contestants: 14. Bessie Higgenbottom ("The Mighty B!"). 13. Rico ("The Penguins of Madagascar"). 12. Katarra ("Avatar: The Last Airbender"). 11. Theodore Seville ("Alvinnn!!! And The Chipmunks"). 10. Danny Fenton ("Danny Phantom"). 9. Fee ("Harvey Beaks"). 8. Brittany Miller ("Alvinnn!!! And The Chipmunks"). 7. Johnny Krill ("Spongebob Squarepants"). 6. Tigress ("Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness"). Remaining Contestants: Bubble Bass, Jenny Wakeman, Kowalski, Po, and Private. / Personal Notes: It's been no secret that Tigress was ALWAYS going to have a more complex role this season than most of her fellow competitors. In fact, Tigress' specific ROLE this season, was to act like the "Disc One Final Boss" for "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back", in that while she was the TOUGHEST competitor that everyone had to face, she would end up NOT being the FINAL competitor that everyone would end up facing! And to show that Tigress was NOT the antagonist that everyone was making her out to be, I thought it would only be fitting, for Tigress to risk her OWN game, in order to save Po's. Tigress may have lost to Kowalski's superior genius. But at least THIS time, Tigress got to leave on her OWN terms! I hope you enjoyed reading this episode, as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

[Old Man Jenkins]

Figured I'd rerun a classic from the OMJ Vault to help get me into the Halloween spirit. In celebration of its 7 year anniversary; "The Secret Box"!

 

SpongeBob awoke one morning to the sound of his alarm blaring as it usually. Wide awake, he shuts it off and gets up from bed in nothing but his underwear.

SpongeBob: Good morning world and all who inhabit it!

As he blurts this out, his blanket wraps itself around him, causing him to panic and fall into his clock before plummeting down the stairs. This was the usual morning routine for SpongeBob and no matter how many it ew he goes through this, the blanket still catches him by surprise. After that terror is over, he heads on out to the living room, turns the TV on and whip up some leftover Krabby Patties for breakfast.

Gary: Meow.

Gary utters out, hungry next to his empty food bowl as if to imply to SpongeBob that he's hungry.

SpongeBob: Sorry, Gare Bear, how could I forget the most important meal of the day!

SpongeBob grabs Gary's food bowl and rushes to the cupboard, grabbing a can of Gary's favorite Snail-Po. The microwave sounds off, his Krabby Patty all heated up and ready to be eaten. SpongeBob rushes to get his meal, but through his confusion, keeps the Snail-Po for himself and gives the patty to Gary.

SpongeBob: Servin' it up Gary's way! Bop.

SpongeBob immediately takes a huge bite out of the Snail-Po without looking.

SpongeBob: BLEGH!

SpongeBob spends the next half hour in the bathroom as Gary munches down on his delicious morsel. SpongeBob leaves the bathroom after flushing four times.

SpongeBob: Never thought I'd ever say this, but that was the worst Krabby Patty I've ever eaten!

SpongeBob exclaimed to Gary, but like the whole blanket and clock routine, it was apart of his daily morning ritual as well. Gary had already finished his meal and was just sitting in front of the TV watching the morning news.

Perch Perkins: Perch Perkins here for KRUV, live from the royal palace, where we will receive an update on King Neptune's missing-

SpongeBob turned the TV off, getting ready to head out the door.

Gary: Meow.

Gary blurted out in an annoyed tone, implying that he was watching that, but SpongeBob was already out the door and heading towards Patrick's rock. Just steps away from his pineapple.

SpongeBob: I hope Patrick is as ready and excited as I am! Teeeheee!

He busts out his jelly fishing net and knocks a few times on Patrick's rock, but gets no answer. He knocks again, but still gets no answer.

SpongeBob: Boy, I sure hope Patrick remembers to get dressed today. We can't have a repeat of him last time...in the nuuuude.

He knocks a third time and gets the bejeebers scared out of him as Patrick's rock swings open as he does so.

SpongeBob: Great merciful Neptune, Patrick! You scared the bejeebers outta me.

Patrick: Ohoheehoheehuhoheeee!

Patrick was giggling to himself, holding a seemingly cardboard box in his hands, failing to really notice SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Patrick? Patrick?? PATRICK?

Patrick snaps out of his fit.

Patrick: Oh, hiya SpongeBob! Fancy seeing you here this morning.

SpongeBob: Patrick, we sorta had plans to go jelly fishing down at Jellyfish Fields.

Patrick: Oooh, it musta slipped my mind.

SpongeBob: It's alright, pal! You fitting to get ready before we go?

Patrick: Oh, this is all I'll need!

SpongeBob: You keeping your net in there or something?

Patrick: Nope!

After an awakened couple of seconds, SpongeBob finally asks

SpongeBob: So what is it?

Patrick tried hard to contain his giggles

Patrick: It's a secret.

SpongeBob: Secret, huh? You have some super net in there you plan on surprising me with.

Patrick: Mehbeh.

SpongeBob: Really?

Patrick: No!

After some more awkward silence, Patrick finally peels himself off his rock and darts down the road with his secret box.

Patrick: Come on, SpongeBob! We should be getting to Jellyfish Fields.

SpongeBob scratches his head, pondering as to what the contents of the box could be.

SpongeBob: That Patrick sure is something else.

And SpongeBob proceeds to jog after him. At Jellyfish Fields, SpongeBob gets his jelly on by putting on his eyeglasses and going out on the hunt while Patrick just plops his but down on the grass and plays around with his box. He opens it, whispers to himself and giggles some more and closes it before rinsing and repeating again.

SpongeBob: DA DA DA DA DUM!

SpongeBob cries out as he pounces on his purple jelly prey, but misses it. He waits for Patrick to make his move on the jelly, but finally notices Patrick sitting down and playing with his box.

SpongeBob: Boy, Patrick sure is having fun with that box. His imagination must be bursting today.

SpongeBob takes a tighter glance at Patrick and notices him appearing as if he's stroking whatever's in the box. SpongeBob goes up to his friend.

SpongeBob: Hey Patrick, you missed your cue back there.

This startles Patrick as he quickly shuts the lid onto the box, something he can't quite do with a jar.

Patrick: SpongeBob! How many times do I have to tell you, no peeking into my secret box!

SpongeBob: You only told me just this once.

Patrick: Oh.

SpongeBob: And you missed your cue out there, buddy. These jellies aren't going to catch themselves, and it's really no fun jellyfishing by yourself, neither.

Patrick: Oh give me that.

Patrick opens his box slightly, taking out a pair of eyeglasses and puts them on.

Patrick: See, I can wear glasses too.

He yanks the net from SpongeBob's hand before going to show him how it's done, leaving his box behind. SpongeBob glances down at the box, then to Patrick, back down at the box, and back up to Patrick. He contemplates sneaking a peek for himself while Patrick is distracted. SpongeBob begins to sweat nervously, glancing back at Patrick, who's still jellyfishing, before kneeling down towards the box.

Patrick: Caught one!

SpongeBob's heart skips a beat or two as he looks back to see Patrick right behind with a jellyfish caught in his net.

Patrick: Heeeyyy, what are you doing down there.

SpongeBob: I was...

Thinking fast, he quickly untied his shoes before tying them up again.

SpongeBob: Just tying my shoes! See, haha.

Patrick: That's a funny way of tying your shoes.

Patrick points down at SpongeBob's hands, having tied his fingers up instead.

SpongeBob: Dahahaha, silly me.

He laughs it off nervously as he ties his shoes the right way.

SpongeBob: But hey, look! You caught a jelly!

Patrick: SpongeBob, there's nothing in this huge ocean that I can't catch.

SpongeBob: You can say that again.

Patrick: All this jellyfishing has me starved! Lets eat.

Patrick gives SpongeBob his net back, picks up his box and starts heading towards the direction of the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob follows suit.

Patrick: Good morning, Krusty Krew!

Patrick blurted out as he entered the restaurant.

SpongeBob: The partay has arrived!

Squidward let out a long and loud sigh behind the counter.

Squidward: Neptune, kill me now.

SpongeBob and Patrick approach the counter to make the orders.

Squidward: SpongeBob, how am I suppose to enjoy your one day off of the year when you just show up to work anyway?!

SpongeBob: I can never spend a day away from here, Squidward! You know that.

Squidward: I refuse to offer you two dunder heads any service whatsoever.

Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward!

Squidward: What is it now, Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: Remember, P . O . O . P.

Squidward: How could I forget, it's what we serve here. What can I get you two dunder heads, today?

SpongeBob: I'll have-

Patrick: I'll have a, a...uh, uhhhhhhhhhhh

Squidward: Mr. Krabs, he's doing it again!

Mr. Krabs: Think for the customer, boy, or you're fired.

SpongeBob: Psst, Patrick. Why not order a Krabby Patty?

Patrick: That's a great idea! Two Krabby Patties, please. One for me, and one for my friend here.

Mr. Krabs: See, the little yella guy's got it down!

SpongeBob: Aww Patrick, you're actually treating for once?

Patrick: Oh, the other patty isn't for you. I'll go get us a table!

And Patrick went to do that with his box in tow.

SpongeBob: I'll just have the usual.

Squidward: One Crying Johnny on the Barn. Thank you for choosing to spend your money at the Krusty Krab, Farmer Brown.

Squidward went back to reading his 50 Tentacles of Grey behind the counter.

SpongeBob: Aren't you gonna-

Squidward: I was told to offer you service, not excellent service.

Suddenly, Mr. Krab's super sniffer of a nose started to bother him.

Mr. Krabs: What's that smell? A little...smelly smell. A smell thaaaaaats...smelly. Mr. Squidward, what did I tell ye about this bowl of onions?!

After about three hours of waiting for their order, they finally consume to their heart's content. SpongeBob notices Patrick "feeding" one of his Krabby Patties to whatever he had inside the box. He whispers to it some more before giving it what looked like a kiss before closing the lid.

Patrick: Boy, that sure did hit the spot! I've gotta poop out some of that P . O . O . P. you mind dumping the trash for me, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Sure thing, pal-

But Patrick had already made his way into the little tadpole's room, leaving his secret box behind. SpongeBob once again contemplated sneaking a peek before going to dump their trash away.

Squidward: Alright, which one of you dolts left this box here?! You two are always making my job harder than it already is!

Squidward goes to pick up the box, but gets surprised when a pink mass grabs him by the tentacle and bends it back.

Patrick: DON'T TOUCH THE BOX!

Squidward shrieks in pain before he gets thrown right through the table to the left of him.

Mr. Krabs: Arrr! What be the meanin' of this tomfoolery?!

Krabs notices Patrick breathing heavily, standing over Squidward as he lay in the table rubble and back away into his office

Mr. Krabs: I saw nothin.

SpongeBob just stood there in shock as Patrick simply picked up his box and left the premises. SpongeBob gives chase, but not before giving Squidward the money for the meal.

SpongeBob: Patrick, wait for me!

Krabs walked back out of his office and approached Squidward.

Mr. Krabs: Status report, Mr. Squidward!

Squidward: Ow...my aching testicles...

Mr. Krabs: Not that! About me-

He notices the money SpongeBob left behind on the crown of Squidward's head.

Mr. Krabs: MONEY!

Krabs picks up the money and fondles it before heading back into his office.

Mr. Krabs: Clean up this mess, Mr. Squidward. I'm taking these damages outta yer paycheck.

SpongeBob finally catches up to Patrick on their way home and tried stopping.

SpongeBob: Patrick, we need to talk.

Patrick: About what?

SpongeBob: About this whole secret box business.

Patrick: There's nothing to talk about.

SpongeBob: But Patrick, you almost took Squidward's arm off and left him in a pile of rubble!

Patrick: Then he shouldn't have tried to look in my secret box!

SpongeBob: He wasn't going even going to, Pat. He mistook it for trash-

Patrick: Then it was a good thing I stopped em!

SpongeBob: Look Pat, I'm your friend, your best friend. You don't have to keep secrets of any sort from me.

Patrick: Oh! Is that so?

SpongeBob: Of course so!

Patrick: I find that hard to believe.

SpongeBob: How so?

Patrick: It's not like you tell me any secrets of your's.

SpongeBob: *gasps* Take that back!

Patrick: Liar, liar, plants for hire!

SpongeBob: That's pants on fire, Patrick. And you wanna know some of my dirty secrets, well I'll tell ya!

Patrick: Well then I'm all ears! Or no ears.

SpongeBob: Sometiiiiimes...I can be a lil bit naïve.

Patrick: Tell me something I don't know.

SpongeBob: I can be a lil OCD, too!

Patrick: That's the opposite of dirty. I think.

SpongeBob: I watch Anemones Gone Wild at late night!

Patrick: Now that's dirty, all right.

SpongeBob: And I wear three pairs of underwear just in case I make an accident right now!

SpongeBob pulls them out from his pants to prove it.

Patrick: The mechanations of my mind are an enigma. You just wouldn't understand.

SpongeBob: I would too understand!

Patrick: Look, I've got plans for tonight. Just drop it, alright! Don't go digging anymore than you have to.

Patrick retreated back under his rock with his secret box, leaving SpongeBob to head back home alone. SpongeBob spent the rest of the afternoon and well into the evening in his study, pondering just what Patrick is keeping secret inside that box. He paced around the room, glancing out the window towards Patrick's house as night fell on Bikini Bottom. He didn't keep his eyes off the window. It was getting later into the night, much later, and Patrick had yet to leave his home for these supposed "plans". SpongeBob kept himself awake all the way until 3 AM, when Patrick finally left his home.

SpongeBob: I never took you for a night owl, Patrick.

Patrick was dressed in a suit for an occasion. He made sure his rock was secured before walking down the road and into the dark of night. He didn't have his box with him. It was now or never for SpongeBob, so he chose now thinking he could get in and out before Patrick made it back from his occasion. Donning a pair of his mother's pantyhose, SpongeBob snuck out of his house and towards Patrick's. Tiptoeing to the rock, he tried opening it but it was locked tight. He thought quick and pulled out his Glove Multitool from Glove World, using it to easily get passed the locks and finally into Patrick's humble abode, which was everything but as he pulled out his trusty Glove Light to see into the darkness under the rock.

SpongeBob: Barnacles, Patrick. I know you do nothing more than the next guy in Bikini Bottom, but I didn't think your home would be this messy.

Patrick's home looked to be in quite the state of disarray. His bed was unkempt, clothes and various food littered the floor, some of his crudely made sand furniture and photographs were damaged. SpongeBob scoured the place for a 20 minutes, trying to locate the box, but had no such luck in finding it. He tried to be quiet, but every step he made felt like an earthquake, every drop of sweat he perspirated felt like a tsunami, and the crap everywhere didn't make things any easier.

SpongeBob: Your secret's safe for now, Patrick

Conceding defeat, SpongeBob went to exit the rock when he took a good listen around the house. He could hear what sounded like music playing. He tried his damnedest to pinpoint the location, but no matter how close he felt he got, it still seemed far away. He took another good listen again, closing his eyes to visualize and better pinpoint it.

SpongeBob: It sounds as if it's coming from...right below me...

He shined his glove light at the floor, looking for a way down since he always assumed Patrick's rock was just one story. He digs through all the crap and only hits the rug.

SpongeBob: Tartar sauce!

SpongeBob was just about to give up and leave, feeling he had stayed there longer than expected, but a thought occurred to him. He shined his glove light back on the rug before lifting it up out of the way, revealing a secret hatch.

SpongeBob: Knick knack, the patty's back!

He used his glove Multitool to unlock the hatch to find a flight of stairs that went deeper down under the home. SpongeBob gulped at the sight in fright, as well as smelling something foul down below.

SpongeBob: That ain't your average, everyday darkness down there. That's just...advanced darkness.

Mustering up all the courage he has in his porous body, he descended the flight of stairs with his glove light in hand. When he reached the bottom, he found himself in a long, dark hallway. The music has become much more easy to hear. SpongeBob looked down hallway to see a dim light emanating from behind a partially open door.

SpongeBob: A secret room for a secret box, so fitting.

SpongeBob proceeded down the hallway with caution. The smell got stronger and the music becomes more and more audible the closer he gets to the door. So much so, he could make it out to be "Put You Head On My Shoulder" by Paul Anka.

Song: Put your head on my shoulder. Hold me in your arms, baby. Squeeze me oh so tight. Show me that you love me too.

He pushed the door open ever so slowly and found himself in a room lit only by candlelight. He closed the door behind him and looked around to also see fried oyster skin air fresheners hanging from the ceiling. The room was just as dirty as the rest of the house, moreso even. SpongeBob continued looking around the room.

Song: Put your lips next to mine, dear. Won't you kiss me once, baby. Just a kiss goodnight, may be you and I will fall in love.

SpongeBob: There you are, you slippery thing, you!

Song: People say that love's a game, a game you just can't wiiiiin.

He caught sight of the box, sitting atop a desk that was fashioned into looking like an altar of some sort. He approached it slowly, his heart pounding from the anticipation. He set his glove light on the table next to it, grabbing the lid and opening it up ever so slowly.

SpongeBob: Lets see what's so secret about this box, Patrick.

Song: If there's a way, I'll find it someday, and then this fool with rush iiiiiin!

SpongeBob proceeds to yank the lid of with great force, tossing it onto the floor before letting his eyes scour the contents of the box.

SpongeBob: ALRIGHT PATRICK! LETS SEE THE SECRET! SHOW ME THE SECRET SHOW ME THE SECRET SHOW ME THE SECRET SHOW ME THE SECRE-

SpongeBob's eyes suddenly fell back into their sockets. His face grew paler and paler as he slowly came to the realization as to what he peeking into. He was frozen still with fright, he tried to scream something out but couldn't muster it, he was caught in his breath. He collapsed down to the floor, still holding the box in his hands, still looking into it.

SpongeBob: DAAAAAHHHHH!!

He finally let out one loud scream before finally summoning the strength to toss the box to the side, the contents rolling out of it as it landed. SpongeBob grabbed his glove light from the table and shined it where the box landed. He looked on in horror at the disembodied green humanoid head that Patrick had kept in the box this whole time. The head looked to be that of a females, it had long hair and glasses on. The same glasses Patrick used to jellyfish with earlier in the day.

SpongeBob: Oh dear Neptune!

Song: Put your head on my shoulder! Whisper in my ear, baby. Words I want to hear. Tell me, tell me that you love me too.

SpongeBob cried out before scurrying up to get out of the room. In his fright, he bursted through a second door that was located in the room that led into what looked to be a second bathroom. He shined his glove light into the room to see crimson red water in the bathtub. The tub was surrounded by various tools. SpongeBob stepped closer to get a better look in the tub only to find the headless body of what looked to be a mermaid floating in it. SpongeBob let out a scream before backing out of the room. His glove light shines onto something behind him as SpongeBob backs into it.

Patrick: Hey buddy, I warmed it up for ya.

A pink mass overwhelms SpongeBob as the glove light breaks. SpongeBob's screams for his life, going unheard, as morning dawns on Bikini Bottom. Gary watches the morning news.

Perch Perkins: We still have no updates as to the whereabouts of King Neptune's daughter, Mindy, last seen three nights ago during an unsupervised tour visit to the city in order to mingle with her loyal subjects, but we here at KRUV will continue to follow this story as more news breaks and comes to light.